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roman-sing-despacito · 4 years

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El amanecer (The Sunrise)

Soulmate September: Day 1 - Your Soulmate’s name is written on your wrist or palm. @tsshipmonth2020

Pairing: DLAMP

Summary: Logan works in his mamá’s coffee shop, El amanecer, and there he meets quite a few people. But, on a particular Saturday, he meets some of the most important people: his soulmates

Summary 2: Patton spills his horchata, Roman is late to work, Virgil brings an umbrella, Logan does his job, and Janus is Remy’s coffee boy

Patton scanned over the menu one more time before practically skipping up to the counter. Once he got there, a middle aged woman smiled warmly at him and positioned herself behind the cash register.

“!Buenos días! Welcome to El amanecer. What can I get you?”

The woman’s smile was contagious, and even though he was half-asleep and slightly cranky, Patton couldn't help but return it. “Hi! Can I get a mango horchata, please?”

The woman nodded and went a little farther down the counter to prepare the drink, leaving Patton fiddling with the many bracelets decorated along his wrist.

“So, young man,” The woman looked up at the high-schooler before focusing on the drink again. “how did you hear about my shop? Me and my son have been trying to figure out how to spread the word more quickly. Especially since we just opened up last month.”

Patton’s smile grew as he recalled how his friend Emile recommended this coffee shop to him a week ago. The two were in math class and Emile had mentioned that she had passed by the new shop on her way to school. She had wanted to go with Patton, but her debate team had rescheduled their meeting to today.

“Well…” Pat smiled to himself, “I heard about it through a friend.” The woman nodded and handed him the horchata. After paying, he left a five dollar bill in the jar labelled: TIPS next to the register and turned to leave before looking back. “Thank you Miss...?”

She laughed. “Please, call me Quetzali! No need for formalities.” Patton nodded with a grin. “Well then thank you, Quetzali. I needed a nice drink to wake me up! I have a project due in a week and I’m afraid I’ve been procrastinating it longer than I should have.” He smiled sheepishly and then waved goodbye.

“Good luck with the project! And hopefully I will see you soon.” She winked.

And as Patton closed the door, he heard Quetzali shout, “!Mi amor! Come take over the front, I need to—”

Assuming she wasn’t talking to him, Patton took another sip as he walked down the street. He was so busy brainstorming ideas for his science project that he didn’t notice a mop of red hair running straight at him.

“HEY WATCH OUT—!!!”

The two collided, knocking both boys off their feet.

Patton groaned as he rubbed his head, trying to soothe the growing throb. “I am so so sorry! Are you okay?” The redhead helped Patton up.

“Oh uh…” He glanced down to see his spilled horchata a few feet away, “Well I’m okay kiddo! But my drink sure isn’t…” He trailed off with a small pout.

The stranger grimaced. “Gosh I really am sorry about that. I’m running late for work and I do not want to be late for the second day in a row!”

The two were so engrossed in one another that neither of them noticed how it had started to lightly drizzle.

“It’s alright! No harm done—uh...what’s your name kiddo?”

The redhead laughed, “I’m pretty sure I’m older than you.”

He held out a hand to Patton, “Name’s Adams, Roman Adams. And I think you fell for me.” He winked.

And neither noticed the purple-haired teen walking up to them.

Patton’s hand froze mid-handshake. “Um, what?” Did he hear that right?

Not expecting that reaction, Roman quickly dropped his hand to his side, “Oh. Sorry, I can be a bit too forward sometimes.”

“No! No, don't worry kid—Uh, Roman. I just…” Patton trailed off not really believing that he finally met one of his soulmates. “Um, I’m Patton.”

Unfortunately Roman was quick to worry, and he felt as though he made things weird. He wanted nothing more than to leave the (in Roman’s opinion) awkward situation.

Until Patton’s name clicked.

“Wait. Your name...? You’re Patton?”

The two looked at each other in awe. Roman swiftly pulled up his long sleeves, ignoring the rain running down his now exposed arm, while Patton pushed up the bracelets that covered his soulmates’ names.

And sure enough, starting from his inner wrist, Roman’s soulmarks read: Patton Virgil Logan Janus in a variety of colors.

Patton gasped as Roman read over his soulmate's arm, the colors for each name matching: Roman Virgil Logan Janus

Roman made eye contact with Patton’s teary eyes and the two quickly engulfed each other in a hug. “We found each other! Oh my goodness gracious!!!”

With a joyous laugh Roman looked up at Patton, “I’m sorry about your drink.”

“Roman! I would spill a thousand drinks if it meant I got to meet one of my soulmates!”

It was then that the two finally noticed that it was raining. And for some reason, they were no longer getting wet.

“Uh...what if you met another soulmate?” Patton looked sideways to see someone about his and Roman’s age, holding a big umbrella over all of them.

Roman gave the new stranger a small grin, “Do you mean..?”

The stranger shuffled awkwardly before gesturing to his arm not holding the jet black umbrella. “You can check for yourselves. I’m Virgil.”

Patton eased out of Roman’s hug and gently lifted Virgil’s grey jacket sleeve. He stopped once all of the names were visible: Roman Patton Logan Janus once again, the soulmarks were in an array of colors

Patton squealed in happiness and Roman lightly smirked, “How lovely it is to meet you, Dark and Stormy Night.”

Virgil couldn’t help the small smile that grew the longer they looked at each other. “Wow, Princey. Wonder where you came up with that one?” He muttered sarcastically.

Which Roman was quick to return with a playful scoff, “Well seeing as you have saved Patton and I from the rain, I think it fits perfectly.”

Patton smiled as two of his soulmates laughed, he bounced closer to Virgil and held his arms out in a hug. “Hug time?” He asked excitedly.

Virgil’s smile dropped. “I don’t…” He fidgeted with the end of his jacket, he didn't want to be rude to his soulmate. Especially as they had just met.

Patton let his arms drop. “You can say no, Virgil.” His warm smile calmed the purple haired boy down a bit.

“Are you sure…?”

Roman smiled. “Of course! We would never force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Thank you.” Virgil’s whisper was returned with a nod and a smile.

“Now Princey...I think you owe Pat here a new drink.” The trio glanced at the spilled horchata laying on the sidewalk.

Roman was quick to bow deeply, “I would be honored to accompany my soulmates to retrieve Patton’s desired drink!”

“Wait! Don’t you have work, Roman?”

Roman waved off Patton’s concern. “I just met two of my soulmates! I’m sure Thomas will understand if I called in explaining the situation.”

“Well if you’re sure…”

With that the three walked back to El amanecer. All the while talking about their lives, and joking around with each other.

~*~*~*~*~

Janus groaned as his phone rang for the third time. He didn’t even have to look at the caller ID. “What do you want now, Remy?” He snapped.

“Chill babes. Geez, can’t a BFF call xir friend to say hello?”

Janus sighed in frustration, “Remy, if you don’t tell me your new order in five seconds, I am hanging up and not getting your stupid coffee. Everyone knows you could use less caffeine anyway.”

“HEY!”

“Five seconds~”

“Okay! Okay, geez.”

“Four seconds~”

“Sooo, I made up my mind and I just want a plain cappuccino!”

Janus stopped walking. “You, what?”

“Plain cappuccino.”

Janus felt an eye twitch, “Remy. You had me memorize an entire order with a whole bunch of extra syrups and toppings twice and now you’re telling me to forget all of that!?”

“Listen babes, I don’t choose the coffee. The coffee chooses me.”

“You know what? Fine. You’re lucky I care about you.”

“Awww does Jan-Jan actually have a heart?” Remy teased through the phone. Xe knew Janus only cared about a select few people, but the few he does care for, he cares for deeply.

“Oh, would you look at that! I’m already at El amanecer! Bye Remy.” He hung up on Remy’s cackling laughter.

Janus opened the door as a ghost of a smile appeared, “What a lunatic.”

He got in line behind a rather attractive redhead, and he couldn’t help but tune into the redhead and the cute barista’s conversation. What? He was bored, sue him.

~*~*~*~*~

“Salutations, welcome to El amanecer. What would you like?” Despite being flustered by the redheaded customer, Logan kept his voice neutral and ensured he had an air of professionalism around him. Well...as much professionalism as a 16 year-old boy could muster.

“Hey there! Um, can I get one mango horchata, one vanilla bean frappuccino, and a strawberry agua—Uh, agua...fresca, please?” Roman cringed a little at his slip up.

Logan totaled up the order and gave a small nod. “Of course. Wait one moment please.” He went to prepare the drinks, and Roman saw this as the perfect opportunity to make some small chat with the dashing blonde barista.

“Today’s been a crazy day. I was late to work, and in rushing to get to my bus stop I ran into this guy. Turns out, he’s my soulmate!”

Logan didn’t look Roman in the eyes, “Oh?” He replied, seemingly disinterested. But really, he was a bit dejected that the redhead had already found his soulmate.

“Yeah! And after we found out, another guy walked up to us and we found out that he was another one of our soulmates!”

Logan’s shock was hidden by him turning his head away from Roman. “Oh, wow. The odds of that are infinitesimal.”

“Infinity—What?”

Logan placed the horchata and agua fresca in front of Roman before turning away again. “Infinitesimal. It means really small.”

Roman nodded, “Oh, cool. So...what’s your name? I’m Roman.”

Logan’s grip on the frappuccino faltered and the coffee crashed to the floor. He jumped, startled, and hurried to clean it up.

Logan looked up, his face flushed when Roman exclaimed, “Oh! Sorry if I’m distracting you.”

The blonde shook his head. “No, no. You’re fine...Roman. I was uh, surprised is all.”

“Why?” The confusion in his eyes was too adorable for the barista to handle.

Logan looked away, focusing on cleaning up the rest of the spilled coffee. “My name is Logan.” He figured if they were soulmates, Roman would have a similar reaction. And if he had no reaction, then Logan could forget this embarrassing moment ever happened.

He stood up and looked hesitantly in Roman’s eyes. But the hesitance was quickly replaced with hope, as a wide smile lit up the redhead’s face.

“You mean we’re…?”

“Soulmates.” Logan confirmed.

The two rolled up their sleeves and on Logan’s arm were brightly colored soulmarks: Roman Janus Patton Virgil

“Wow.” Roman let out a breathy laugh. “Three soulmates in one day?”

Logan sent him a small smile. “By any chance, are any of the other names on my arm the two people you met?”

“Yep!” Roman beamed, “Virgil and Patton are over there.” He pointed to the far left corner of the coffee shop where a bubbly, black haired teen sat in a round table laughing with a purple haired boy.

The words; “They’re beautiful.” slipped out.

Logan wanted to smack himself.

Thankfully though, Roman only smiled. “Yeah, they are.”

After preparing the vanilla bean frappuccino again, Logan nodded in thanks as Roman left a tip.

The two stared at each other, both not knowing what to say, until the sound of someone clearing their throat caused them to jump.

An amused looking brunette laughed at their startled expressions. “My apologies. But I couldn’t help but overhear…” The stranger shifted uncomfortably before cautiously rolling up his sleeve, his tan skin clearly showed: Roman Logan Patton Virgil

“I’m Janus.” The brunette gave them a small smile.

“¡Ay Dios mío!” Logan exclaimed quietly.

Roman was smiling widely at this point, “We all met on the same day!”

“Well,” Janus glanced at the table in the far-left corner. “We haven’t all met.”

Logan nodded enthusiastically, “But we will. After I take your order Janus, I’m sure mamá will give me the day off.”

Janus shrugged, “Don’t worry about it. I only came here to get my friend Remy a cappuccino. And with how much xe pesters me about my soulmates, I’m sure xe will understand why I didn’t deliver it to xem.”

Roman bounced happily, eager for all of his soulmates to meet one another.

With a small nod at Janus, Logan turned away from his soulmates. “¡Mamá! Necesito el día libre por favor.”

Quetzali came out of the back of the shop, looking questioningly at her son. “¿Por qué?”

Logan smiled as he gestured to the two boys in front of the counter. “Porque mamá, quiero conocer a mis almas gemelas.”

Quetzali’s face morphed from concern to pure happiness in the span of a few seconds. “Wow! It’s nice to meet you boys!”

Roman and Janus smiled, giving Quetzali a nod of respect. “Y usted, señora.”

All three of them looked at Janus in surprise.

“What?” Janus huffed, “I didn’t take three years of spanish for nothing.”

They all laughed and Quetzali ushered her son out from behind the counter. “Go meet them, mi amor. Have some fun.” Logan hugged her before joining Janus and Roman in walking up to their other soulmates.

Virgil groaned as he spotted Roman. “Finally! Did you get lost on your way across the shop?”

“Nope!” Roman stepped aside, letting Janus and Logan into view. “However, I did get lost in our soulmates eyes.”

Patton jumped up excitedly while Virgil eyed the new boys. “Hi! I’m Patton!!!”

Logan held out a hand which Pat shook vigorously, “I am Logan.” He nodded at Virgil who sent a peace sign in return. “Sup I’m Virgil.”

Janus took Patton’s hand from Logan and pressed a small kiss to the back of it. “Hello Patton, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He turned to Virgil with a smile, “You as well Virgil.”

With a blushing face Patton offered them all a seat.

“So...this is kind of crazy huh.”

The purple haired boy snorted, “It’s more than crazy, Pat. But...I’m glad to finally meet all of you.”

Roman nodded, his eyes constantly drifting to each of his soulmates.

“Indeed,” Logan adjusted his glasses. “I have never heard of multiple soulmates all meeting on the same day before. The chances that we did are—”

“Infinitesimal.” Janus interrupted.

Logan’s face went aflame. “You actually heard Roman’s and I entire conversation?”

“You have a nice voice Lo.” Janus winked, causing the barista’s blush to deepen.

Virgil pretended to gag, “If all of you are going to be this mushy, I gotta go.”

They all laughed and spent the entire day getting to know one another. The chances of them meeting the way they did? Infinitesimal. Their love for one another? Infinite and unmeasurable, especially as the years went by.

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harryscumcloth · 5 years

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I Don’t Wanna Love You Anymore

Here she is.. part 2 of Malibu Nights. I decided to finish it last night after months of procrastinating. I’d like to thank my angel @harrysonlyangelsss, Lauren, for putting up with me through the whole ordeal because I know I’ve been an absolute nightmare.

Contains 6.4k of: angst, heartbreak, alcohol, fuck boy and cry baby content.

December 22nd, 2015 continued

“Harry… I can explain.”

***

An hour had passed since he read the text message and she had yet to receive a response. Harry wasn’t a champion texter, he usually took his time or would forget to respond due to being a busy man, but there was no way that he could be busy on an airplane and there was zero chance that he had fallen asleep either. She sent text after text in hopes of him responding to at least one of them, but he never did.

The delicate skin around her eyes became swollen and blotchy from the excessive amount of sobbing over the few hours prior. Her back leaned against the lower area of the sofa as she sat on the cool hardwood floor with her knees pulled to her chest. The sleeves of her hoodie were dampened with tears, turning the ash grey color to a dim grey. The sofa cushion supported the weight of her head while she tightly shut her eyes to relieve pressure and swiftly drifted off into a deep slumber.

Harry’s back fit the form of the chair as he sat halfway in his seat with his elbows on the rests, his ass almost hanging off the end and his leg holding him up while the other remained crossed at his knee. With each grey chat bubble that appeared, the worse the stinging in his eyes became.

His watering eyes were shielded by a hefty pair of sunglasses that sat on the bridge of his nose. He held his head low as he racked his mind looking for the signs. Y/N might have been oblivious to his feelings towards her, but Zayn for sure wasn’t. They had never shown an interest in each other and Harry often even confided in Zayn about his feelings towards Y/N, to which Zayn always said, “Mate, she’s into you.”

It was infuriating to Harry to hear the nature of the songs Zayn had written about her. This was the girl he was in love with and it seemed as if Zayn used her for his own personal gain.

That night, she was his plus one at the event. She had always been reluctant to attend outings with him because of his social status and the crazy fans, but for an unknown reason, she accepted this invitation. He didn’t probe for an explanation to why she agreed to join him on that occasion, he was just overly delighted at her acceptance, but he never imagined that his two best mates would hook up that night.

December 29th, 2015

The past week, he arrived home in Holmes Chapel. Anne noticed his demeanor was different than usual, being uptight and snappy. He was on edge at all times and although she worried gravely about him, she didn’t feel right questioning him of bad vibe she felt. If he wanted to talk about it, he would, and that’s how she thought of it.

The vibrations from Harry’s phone on the table shook the water in their glasses. She paused mid chew, glancing up at him with narrowing eyes and wrinkled brows. Their eyes met with Anne staring fixedly at him. “Can’t it wait? We’re in the middle of dinner.”

He held the phone up, the black screen with the caller ID showing Jeff’s name. “I have to take it.” He excused himself from the dining table, scurrying off down the hall and into the bathroom.

“Hello?” His voice was low, as if he was sneaking a call like back in primary school.

“Harry? Why are you whispering?” Jeff’s voice rang through the speaker.

“I’m not whispering. I’m having dinner with my mum and I got the ‘stare’ so I came to the loo to talk. What is it?”

“I know you’re on holiday... but would you be interested in signing another three month contract?” Harry’s response hadn’t come fast enough before Jeff continued his rambling.

“I think It would be great for you, you know more screen time, more endorsements, more pay, the whole lot. Especially with Dunkirk coming up, it would benefit you greatly.”

Harry’s forehead dropped into his palm. His eyes shut tightly before taking a deep breath. Jeff’s voice came through once again, “I guess I should probably mention that I already gave them your word…”

“Why would you do that? Did I not make it clear that I was over it?” Harry’s jaw was clenched, his teeth gritting together. His cheeks flushed pink with frustration towards Jeff. The last time was supposed to be the last time.

He threw his head back as he plopped down onto the toilet seat, feeling defeated and hopeless. It felt like a never ending cycle of drama that no one understood or knew the half of. He kept it to himself, never letting a negative thought slip from his tongue.

“You know if I say no now, I could be blacklisted, right?” A deep sigh fell from his lips, “I was trying to leave on a good note so I wouldn’t be dismantled like everyone they come into contact with, but that doesn’t seem to be reasonable, does it?” He ended the call directly after the last word passed through his lips. His mind threatened to launch the phone through the thin wall, but instead it was gripped tightly in his hand while he blew steam from his nose.

Harry always respected Jeff, but he often felt like Jeff didn’t have his best interest at heart, and sometimes he didn’t even give Harry an option for what he wanted to do.

Anne’s eyes were trained on him as he returned to the dinner table with a flustered look upon his face. He kept his attention on the ground as he walked, not wanting to see her wide curious eyes. She waited for him to settle in his seat once again, watching as he slumped into his chair.

“S’everything alright?”

He tried his best to avoid eye contact when he came back to the dining room, but he knew he would eventually look at her. He used his thumb nail to pick at the remaining black polish that coated his nail beds as he desperately tried to avoid the conversation.

“Don’t you ignore me Harry. Now what is the matter?” Her stern voice grew loud, demanding answers from the now frightened man.

“I’m renewing my contract with K...” his voice trembled and was hardly audible. She heard him loud and clear though.

He was ashamed. He was ashamed to tell his mother that he had put himself in a position to be miserable for another three months. It was Jeff’s fault, but Harry was never one to blame him because he could’ve said no if he wanted to and had Jeff to relay the message, but Harry felt that it was best to stick with the word that was already given. What would another three months of his life hurt?

Anne couldn’t hold her feelings back any longer. She was bewildered and needed to know what the deal was. Her lips closed tightly and tucked inwards as she was dumbfounded by his statement.

“Please fill me in on what it is that has you running back to this girl over and over? Let me in on the secrets because I’m dying to know.” The sarcasm in Anne’s voice showed she had never been fond of K since the very beginning.

He was only the mere age of 19 and had just gotten out on his own when trouble found him. Of course, in his mind he was grown and didn’t need guidance from his mother anymore. The whole scene was fishy to Anne and she knew her son always wore his heart on his sleeve for anyone to up and grab, if only it had been a different someone.

“Because at one point I did love her, mum. She was great and we got on really well but it’s only been just an arrangement to her.” His elbows rested on top of the table, dropping his fork and knife onto his plate. He stooped down into his chair as Anne looked at him with a scornful look.

“That family is no good and you know it. It’s time for you two to part ways once and for all.” Her pointer finger was aimed directly at him, scolding him as if he were a child. “It’s only going to hurt you in the end.”

She cut a small bite sized portion from her steak, jabbing it with the fork and pushing it past her teeth. She became irritated at Harry, letting the fork scrape against her teeth as she snatched it from her mouth in anger.

“I hate letting people down and you know that.” His eyes were pleading for his mother’s approval, one he would never receive. “It’s only for three months and I will make it clear that I’m done this time.”

Anne removed the cloth from her lap and gently patted around her mouth and tossed it onto the table before speaking again. “Harry, what about Y/N, hmm?” She smacked her lips together while clasping her hands together. “You’d be letting her down. She absolutely adores you and I just wish I could get it through that thick skull of yours.”

The palms of his hands immediately covered his face. “Mum… she slept with Zayn.” His words were muffled by his hands and he was afraid to speak any louder.

Anne pushed her plate towards the middle of the table and sat with her elbow propped with her her chin in the palm of her hand. Her fingers brushed over her lips gently as she noticed her son becoming uncomfortable before her. “Sweetie, I can’t understand you with your hands over your mouth.”

Harry glared at his mother and her nonchalant expression. He didn’t reveal his lips when speaking, he only allowed the words to form through the tight spaces between his fingers.

“Y/N slept with Zayn.”

“You’re shitting me right now, right?” She pushed away from the table with her back hitting the chair harshly, her jaw hung and her eyes bugged. “When did this happen?”

“It was her first and his last time at an event and it happened right under my nose.” His fingers picked the threads on the ragged edge of his napkin, trying to avoid eye contact in that moment. “I was asking around, trying to see if anyone knew where she was because I was finally going to tell her but she was nowhere to be found. And honestly, I never saw it coming. Zayn didn’t even care to mention his breakup with Perrie. I mean, everyone knew he was acting strange but we thought it was just Zayn being Zayn. He never really cared about me and it’s really starting to show now.” It became word vomit, his thoughts never ending and Anne not being able to get a syllable in between.

He inhaled a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t even know what she is thinking half of the time. She’s almost always quiet, the only time she actually showed me a part of her was when we almost---” his eyes grew wide when the realization hit that it was his mother he was talking to and he didn’t want to inform her of that, “when we… got wasted.”

His eyes scanned his mother’s face, hoping she hadn’t noticed and that it was a good save on his part. Although he is ‘grown’, he still wouldn’t want his mother to know that part of his life. “Other than that, she won’t let me in. She knows everything about me and I’m only allowed to know what she wants me to know about her so how am I supposed to bloody know if she is right for me?”

“She doesn’t owe you anything about her life. You can only be mad at yourself for being foolish enough to tell someone your entire life story. You just be thankful it was told to someone like her and not someone who would be willing to ruin you the first chance they were offered a deal.” She slid her hand underneath his unusually warm palm, gripping his fingers and feeling the dampness of his clammy hands while rubbing her thumb across his bare knuckles.

“Baby listen to me,” she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, “I’m sure she didn’t do it with the intention of hurting you in her mind. You know I’m all for Y/N, I absolutely adore her as I’ve already said, but she’s clueless more often than not and that’s not taking a dig at her.”

He was blinded for so long that he never realized that she had no knowledge of his feelings for her. They both had become excellent at hiding things from each other.

December 31st, 2015

It had been a week and a half since they saw the interview. She stopped sending texts after a full 24 hours of not receiving a single response from him. He was acting very childish, the fact that he was choosing to ignore her instead of discussing the issue and trying to get past it. She wept for days when she realized their friendship was possibly over and that he might never forgive her. Although she felt that she did no wrong because they were just friends and nothing more, she still cried. It was worse than a breakup.

It was New Years Eve and her only plans were to watch reruns of Gossip Girl on her laptop and finish the two pints of Ben & Jerry's assorted ice cream flavors that she had delivered to her through post-mates, starting with the Cookies & Cream Cheesecake Core and ending with the Chunky Monkey. She snuggled into a fuzzy black throw blanket with her legs and feet folded underneath her. The laptop was balanced on the edge of the arm rest while she held the pint and the spoon. Her eyes were trained on the screen, only leaving every so often to glance at the emptying carton.

Three hours, two pints of ice cream, and one stomach ache later, she was resting uncomfortably as her belly protruded past it’s normal state. Her hand rubbed gentle circles around her navel in an attempt to calm the rumbles. She was miserably stuffed and couldn’t bear to watch another episode during that moment. The sunlight went away hours ago and she was left laying in the dark with only the faint light shining from the screen of her laptop.

The loud pops and crackling sounds from the early fireworks held her eyes wide open. How could she possibly sleep a wink with all the ruckus outside of her window? She forcefully shut the laptop closed and tossed the blanket to the floor, trudging over to the window to see the culprits being a group of rowdy teens from her building. She desperately wanted to yell profanities down to them but she figured it would only make the situation worse if she were to say something, like them shooting one up towards her window or possibly vandalizing her car. Her attention lingered on the group for a second longer before the jarring sound of her doorbell filled the apartment, startling her and nearly causing her to jump through the ceiling.

It was close to 9 o’clock at night and she was skeptical about who would be at her door this late, considering she didn’t really socialize with anyone anymore. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her face against the cool door, squinting her right eye to peek through the peephole. Her old roommates, Kate and Ava, stood there with wide and charming smiles.

“Open up bitch!” Kate’s voice was high pitched and sure to echo throughout the short narrow hallway.

She fell back onto her heels, shaking her head in disbelief while she fumbled with the locks before finally twisting the knob and opening the door. They barreled past her, each going in a different direction and surrounding her on either side, the loud clacks from their stilettos ricocheted off the blank white walls of her small apartment. Their smiles soon turned to frowns as they saw Y/N’s unruly appearance.

Her noticeably unwashed hair was tied into a high matted bun. A thick layer of rheum had gathered along the lash lines of her heavy, swollen eyelids. The skin upon her face was dull and spotted with blemishes. “Ew,” they said in unison, their frowns stretching further down their faces as their noses scrunched, “What happened?”

She stood with her arms crossed, ready to defend her appearance. “I don’t look that bad.” Her shoulders slumped with their expressions, “You’re over exaggerating.”

Truth is, she had become accustomed to seeing herself in the mirror over the past week and she hadn’t noticed the deep purple rings below her eyes, or the lifeless skin that sat upon her face. Their lips were pursed together as they waited for an explanation that they didn’t actually care for.

“I’m not—” Ava raised her hand to stop Y/N’s sentence.

“You know what? It doesn’t even matter! We are going to get you all dolled up and make you forget all about your problems lovie. Just wait.”

How could she so easily forget the thoughts that had consumed her mind for the last nine days?

They each grabbed an arm and forced her into the bathroom before she could refuse their help, stripping her of the unpleasant clothing and leading her to the shower. She stood beneath the warm stream of water wetting her hair when she remembered that Harry had finished the last dollop of shampoo from the bottle the morning he left. Her eyes darted around, unsure of how to mention it without her appearing too unkempt, she eyed the bottle of pomegranate body wash she always used.

Kate chuckled when drew shower curtain back, popping her head into the shower. “Make sure you shave everything!” The laughter became contagious as Y/N and Ava joined in.

****

Although the girls worked with quickness, the process was tedious. Y/N became dizzy as they switch sections rapidly. Kate went from makeup to nails, and Ava went from hair to clothes. After an hour and a half of grooming her to what they considered to be acceptable, she was nearly unrecognizable as the girl they had just seen at her worst.

Her hair was neat and straight, the tiny knots of hair that had been snipped sat upon the counter. She was clad in her favorite little off the shoulder black dress, the one that ended mid thigh and accentuated her curves nicely, while showing only the perfect amount of cleavage. Ava was barely able to get it zipped up in the back from Y/N recently eating her weight in ice cream.

“Red is your color babe,” Kate said as she put the last top coat on her pinky nail.

****

A little before midnight, they wound up at Moonie’s, a popular bar and grill joint located on the corner of 7th, approximately three blocks from their old apartment, and a place that they were all too familiar with. Moonie’s was known for its delicious burgers and the variety of frozen margaritas… and the cute bartender of course.

It wasn’t a large building by any means, but it had enough space for the bar counter, ten stools, a line of booths against the windows and a set against the wall, and a small kitchen in the back. A joint bathroom was located off to the side of the kitchen and what happens in that bathroom, stays in that bathroom — it’s even written in sharpie on the inside of the entry door. There was enough room for 30 people or so in the middle of the floor where the dim lights hung and the dirtiest of dancing happened.

They were only 18 their first time going, legally not able to drink, but luckily, being overly persuasive was Ava’s strong suit. She batted her lashes while sweet-talking him and had drinks rolling their way in no later than three minutes tops. She still claims those three minutes as her personal best. From that night on, they only went on the Saturday nights that he was scheduled to work and never had to worry about needing a valid I.D.

“You should move back in, you know.” Kate lifted her newly full glass to her lips, taking another large swig and gulping it down. “It’s closer to your job,” she paused, “and your friends,” she motioned her hands between Ava and herself, “and plus, rent would be a lot cheaper.”

Y/N stared into the bottom of her empty glass, stirring the ice cubes with the tiny black stirrer, “I enjoy being on my own though.” She looked up to face them, “I mean… I loved living with you guys, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like I’m at a point in my life where I need my own space.. And besides, Malibu isn’t that bad. It’s a little lonely sometimes… maybe I could get a dog or something.”

When Y/N was planning to move to Los Angeles after graduating, she came across an apartment ad on Craigslist of two girls that were looking for a third roommate. It wasn’t in the greatest neighborhood, but it was all she could afford at that time and it was safer than living on her own, being new to the area and all. Kate and Ava quickly became two of her best friends and she shared an apartment with them for a year before she had saved enough money to move to Malibu, like she had always dreamed of doing.

They ordered another round of drinks and chatted a little longer before Kate and Ava stumbled over to the dance floor. Seeing as how Y/N wasn’t much of a dancer, having two left feet and not an ounce of rhythm in her body, she stayed seated at the bar as she was far too drunk to stand. She held her head down to avoid making eye contact with anyone, she laid her phone down on the bar top and began scrolling. She wasn’t looking for anything in particular as she was just trying to seem busy and uninterested, but she came across something she didn’t expect to see… ever again.

An article on a popular gossip site showed “Hendall” was spotted on a yacht in St. Barth’s earlier that day, when he was supposed to be home spending time with his family, not with her and her family. The pictures of them cuddling and kissing were enough to make her sick, but the last picture she saw, induced vomiting. She had the ring Y/N bought Harry for Christmas linked onto her necklace. She quickly hopped from the stool, her ankle twisted at the harsh contact with the ground. She barely made it to the garbage can before spilling her stomach's contents inside. Her hands held her steady on the rim of the can as she retched over it.

A gentleman helped her into a booth, where she laid her head against the cool table and let the tears fall. Her breaths came out in rapid pants while she rested her mind before she staggered back over to the bar. She picked her glass up and gulped the last bit of her drink down, dialing Harry’s number and immediately reaching his voicemail. The tears were starting to dry on her face when she had an idea. She threw her head back and a wicked laugh pushed its way passed her red smudged lips. It was a laugh full of pain.

She found herself in the bathroom, gripping onto the edge of the grimy porcelain sink to hold herself up. Her adrenaline was way too high for her to notice the swelling and throbbing coming from her sprained ankle. She pressed her back against the vandalized door, using it for guidance as she slid down to sit on the filthy bathroom floor. She dialed his number once more and the pace of her heart rate heightened when she heard the automated message tone.

She was really going to do it.

***

He requested his own suite in the hotel, but for the sake of the stunt, he was held up in K’s until 4 a.m. Harry slipped from within K’s grip, searching for his phone on the nightstand and crept towards the door. He carefully opened and shut the door, only a small click being heard, and scurried off across the hall to his own. He held down the button on the side of his phone to power it back on, all of his messages and notifications popping up at once. He sat on the edge of the bed, skimming through the texts and call log expecting to see her name, and there it was. Two missed calls with two voicemails. He knew they were from her, no doubt about it.

The only time she was ever vocal about her feelings was when she was pissed off. He sat with his elbow resting on his knee and his bottom lip pulled between his two fingers while his eyes burned a hole through the wall.

“......... Harrrrry?”

He could tell immediately that she was completely wasted by the way she said his name.

“Sooo you lied to me so you could be with her again? She’s wearing the ring that I gave you. Do you know how long it took me to find something that I thought was decent enough to get for you? I was worried that you would end up getting it before I had a chance to buy it. Then what would I have done, huh? Do you know what I had to sacrifice to get you that ring and you let that bitch wear it? I gave up getting my nails done. I gave up my usual bottle of wine and settled for cheap shit for you. I went without my morning coffee for a month so I could put that money in my dumb Harry fund. That’s totally fucked up. You can take that ring and shove it so far up your——” Her message was cut short early of the two minute mark.

His stomach was twisted in knots after hearing how delirious she was, the shakiness of her voice combined with small giggles that held no humor behind them. He opened the next one, a continuation of the first.

“You know what? I’m done with you Harrrrry Styles. You two deserve each other and nothing more. I deserve better and I’m going to find that. Good thing I’m at Moonie’s ‘cause what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom, righttttt?”

He was torn to pieces by the last sentence that she spoke.

March 29th, 2016

“Bean, please. We need to talk.”

She exited from his message and dropped the phone into her cluttered purse. She recently turned the read receipts on for the not so subtle hint to be given that she wasn’t interested in having a conversation. The sudden wave of messages were taunting compared to the few she had gotten every now and again from him, asking how she was doing or if she was okay but she couldn’t bring herself to reply.

It was a daily struggle with fighting the urge to shoot him a text, wondering how he was or if things were going well for him but she was stubborn and didn’t want to appear weak by giving in. She refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she still cared and ignored him completely. Keeping her mind occupied was something she strived for everyday, but he was making it more difficult than it needed to be. Harry’s sudden need to talk to her started to become an issue but she couldn’t bring herself to block his number. After all, he was her best friend and she still loved him.

Her nosy coworker had been peeking at her over the dividing wall of the cubicle all day. It was obvious that she had something to say or had a question she wanted to ask, but she was too timid.

“What can I help you with, Lia?”

Lia quickly responded, “Did you hear? He’s here in LA today.” Her arms were folded on the top of the wall, her chin rested over them.

Y/N wasn’t sure what Lia’s intention was with mentioning his whereabouts but she was able to keep her composure and stay calm, even if it was a poorly executed facade.

“Of course I heard. I’m very aware,” Y/N replied nonchalantly, furiously continuing to type with her fingers slamming against the keyboard. The rapid clicking sounds brought everyone’s eyes towards her, but she was unaware of being the center of attention.

Unfollowing him on all social media was utterly pointless because she still heard about him wherever she went. Whether it be the grocery store, the library, a gas station, anywhere. His pictures were plastered on every news stand, magazine, billboard, TV, even on the side of the damn Gucci store. She couldn’t escape the man that had intentionally caused her so much pain.

She hated that Lia had been placed next to her at work as there were plenty of other spots for her to be. She pestered her everyday about something that was small or irrelevant to their duties, but something that she hated even more about her was what she knew. Months ago, Y/N’s phone began to buzz while she was out of the room and Lia took it upon herself to peek at it. At the time, Y/N’s lock screen was a picture of her and Harry from when they had gone to Vegas for her 21st birthday, and she was bombarded with questions the second that she reentered the room.

Lia began to speak, “Do you thi-”

Y/N slammed her palms down on the desk, silencing Lia immediately. “Mind your own fucking business Lia! Stop bothering me! Stop asking about Harry! I don’t know anything about Harry! Here, call him! FaceTime him! Get his number, I don’t care!” She shoved her phone in Lia’s face, who instantly backed down with tears welling in her eyes, sitting in her seat once more. Y/N was breathing rapidly, soon noticing all eyes were on her now. She had never been vicious with anyone before, she didn’t know what had washed over her. She was just as embarrassed as Lia was, if not more.

"I'm...sorry," Lia sheepishly sniffled, wiping her nose on the back of her hand and sinking deeper into her chair.

“S’fine.” Y/N quietly accepted the apology while rubbing circles on her temples. She knew exactly what she needed at that point.

****

Once the clock hit 5, she rushed out of the building to the parking garage, finding her car and getting inside. Immediately tears of resentment fell as she pounded her hands on the steering wheel, letting out a groan and strings of profanity that had been suppressed for hours. Her mind had become an exhausting place to be stuck in and she desperately wanted to escape it.

The worst part about living in Malibu was the commute to and from work in LA. It was an hour and some minutes before traffic was added in, and close to two hours afterwards. Though it wasn’t all terrible, the games that she would play on the drive home were quite entertaining and made the time pass by quicker. There were days when she would try to decipher customized license plates and others where she would guess what song drivers were dancing to. It was crucial that she always made it home in time for her nightly routine of meditating and watching the sun set out on the balcony. Her mind was full and her heart was heavy on the drive home that day. She didn’t want to play her games while being stuck in traffic, she didn’t feel like listening to her favorite playlist, she just wanted to forget about everything and everyone.

***

She parked in front of the local liquor store near her apartment; the one she had visited multiple times a week and happened to be on a first name basis with the night clerk, Gayle. She sat in her car, staring at the old rustic walls on the outside of the shop and recollecting all the nights that she had spent crying on Gayle’s shoulder.

The two of them had become close after Harry had left, Y/N even started to see her as a mother figure. Gayle didn’t have any children and Y/N’s mother was hours away, so it was a mutual bond. The nights that Y/N spent crying on her shoulder, were the nights that she learned everything about Y/N, everything that Harry didn't know.

She hadn’t stopped there in over a month and she wasn’t sure why she was there now, but her gut was trying to stop her. As she stepped out of the car, glancing up at the big neon sign, her heartbeat picked up a rapid pace along with her stomach doing somersaults inside. She stood at the door for a split second before finally pushing in and walking inside. The familiar smell of mint and old wooden floors entered her nose, instantly making her queasy. She stood fiddling with the keys as she gave a quick look around before spotting Gayle at the counter.

“Welcome back, Y/N!” Her smile was warm and inviting, nearly covering half of her face. “Haven’t seen you in… Darling, is something wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Gayle showed a worried expression at the sight of Y/N’s face.

Her lips were pursed and her eyebrows drew together, leaving a glistening look in her eyes. “Hi Gayle. I know… It has been a while, yeah? I’ve been busy with… work.” She playfully returned the small talk, her hands still nervously twisting at the keys. Her feet were nailed to the ground, every fiber of her being telling her not to enter further.

“Anything specific that I can help you with?” Gayle’s glasses were perched on the tip of her nose as she leaned across the counter on her elbows. “I’m ready to help if you need me, but I’m positive you know this place better than I do anyways.”

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, but it didn’t help with the creakiness of her voice. “Actually, I-,” she cleared her throat once more, “I think I still have some at home. Might’ve just overlooked it.” She reached for the door, ready to dash back to the car, but Gayle’s voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Y/N? Can you call me sometime? I get worried about you and… I don’t want to intrude on your life. Just whenever you have time, if you will.” Gayle’s small loving smile gave a familiar warmth in Y/N’s chest.

“Of course.” And with a nod, she was gone.

***

Her anxiety lowered quite a bit by the time she arrived home. Her shoes were off of her feet, hooked and dangling from her finger as she sauntered down the hall. She counted her steps as she went, mumbling the numbers under her breath. The moment she entered through her door, she tossed the shoes into the corner as always, the pile of shoes growing larger each day.

After not having eaten the entire day, a loud rumble erupted from her stomach. Her mouth salivated at the thought of a large pepperoni pizza from Pop’s Pizzeria. Her finger traced the numbers on the menu as she dialed, placing the order to be delivered. The dryness in her throat became an itch she sought to relieve with a glass of water. She walked to the kitchen and went straight for the cabinet that no longer held Harry’s personal stash. Although, his favorite glass still remained in the back… out of sight and out of mind.

She was in no hurry to rid herself from her clothing. Instead, she picked up her laptop and put her playlist on to play before she stepped outside onto the balcony. The sun began to set with pinks and purples across the horizon, a slight breeze rattling the pages of the magazines that resided on the patio table for the past month. She sat with her legs crossed beneath her and the laptop rested in her lap while tune of I Don’t Wanna Love You Anymore filled the apartment. A web page which contained apartment listings in various cities was automatically shown on the screen from her last search.

She bobbed her head along to the tapping of her fingers to the beat, lightly muttering the lines,

Sick of staring up at the ceiling

How'd you change your mind just like that?

The only way to get past this feeling

Is to tell myself you're not coming back.

After getting fed up with virtual tours of the apartments and finding locations, she switched to Pinterest for interior ideas, quickly falling into a hole and losing track of time. The ragged sound of the doorbell startled her, pulling her out of the black hole she had fallen into on the website. She rushed to the door, stopping and snatching her wallet from her purse on the counter, not even thinking to check before opening it. It was swung open by an overly eager Y/N, not able to contain the excitement for the pizza that had consumed her mind the for most of the day.

The rumbling of her stomach quit, her appetite vanishing instantly. Her posture stiffened, her joyous smile fading as a sudden coldness filled her core as she took sight of the person that stood on the other side of the door.

“Hi angel.”

#harry styles #malibu nights #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles x y/n #heartbreak #one direction fanfic

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danyka-fendyr · 5 years

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Bartender

Okay so I promised @faintrecognition I would write this like a month ago and then I proceeded to grapple with various plot ideas, start then restart, and just generally procrastinate. This isn’t edited but at least it exists. Anyway, here’s a Reylo AU fic. Enjoy!

Taglist:@rhabakoli @dreamwritesimagines @alwaysadreamingoptimist

Wordcount: 1686

Warnings: Some mild language. Barely even there tbh, and I wouldn’t count it.

Rey had no great love for her job as a bartender. It was not, by any means, the most rewarding of jobs. Mostly it involved men unsubtly checking her out, trying to use her as a therapist like they were tipping her well enough for that, or getting drunk enough that they tried to destroy the bar she worked in, prompting her to take several self-defense classes after first getting this job. As it turns out, pool sticks can be wielded as bow staffs with some level of effectiveness.

However, her status as a bartender was largely non-negotiable thanks to her deadbeat absentee’s parents heavy debt. They might as well have sold her into slavery when they got themselves in debt up to their shoulders then up and died. Since before she could remember, Rey had been working to pay that money off, and bartending tipped very well, so here she was.

She figured the second oldest profession in the world had to be better than the first. Right?

All of which brought her to this moment, holding the wallet of a man who was long gone, left in the pocket of what seemed to be a very expensive blazer, displaying the name “Ben Skywalker.” Which could only mean one thing. One thing that was hopefully not going to cause a lot of trouble in Rey’s life but probably was.

She was holding the wallet of Senator Leia Skywalker’s only son, and she was going to have to contact him to give him back his credit card. Somehow she doubted there was going to be a reward for this. The only reward Rey had in store for the night involved wiping down the sticky counters of the empty bar and seeing if she could fix the perpetually blinking second L in the sign outside, which currently read “The Mil_ennium Falcon.” She had mostly given up on it, but the owner had promised her a bonus if she figured it out before he had to break down and call a repairman, so she had hit the wormhole of YouTube home improvement videos yet again.

She sighed, deciding that the best option for her tonight was to call now and see if he even picked up just to get it over with. She doubted he would and, if she was being honest, sincerely hoped he didn’t. The last thing she needed tonight was to deal with some arrogant jerk. Even if his ID picture was handsome.

While she wasn’t a fan of looking through people’s stuff, she didn’t hesitate to delve through his wallet until she found the business cards she knew would be in there. Rich people and socialites. So predictable.

She dialed the number from the bar’s phone, since she firmly classed this as a work problem. She was still on the clock and had to deal with it? Then it was a work problem. She waited several rings, patiently resigned to when it would tell her to leave a message. But that did not happen.

“Hello?” A low, tired voice answered.

Rey realized with a start that there was a very high chance that this was the voice of Ben Skywalker. Of course, it could be the voice of anyone. An assistant, a secretary. However, she was pretty sure she’d seen him in an interview on TV once, and he sounded something like exactly this.

She was absolutely unprepared for this.

“Hey, so uh…it’s your bartender. From The Millennium Falcon.” Get to the point Rey, before he hangs up on you. “Just calling to let you know you left your credit card here. And also your entire wallet. And a blazer. It’s a very nice blazer. Was it tailored? Because it looks tailored. Really nice work.”

Oh gosh. She sounded like an idiot. She hadn’t had time to script this!

Thankfully, he seemed amused by her little ramble.

“I’ll make sure to tell Finn you like his handiwork.” He chuckled, a sound that should not have seemed so velvet smooth over the crackling of the phoneline. “I’ll be there to pick it up in 20.”

That was the second time this man had thrown Rey for a loop tonight, and she had to make an actual effort not to scream.

“Oh, you really don’t have to. You can just come in tomorrow and get it.”

“No, it’s alright. You guys aren’t finished closing yet, are you?”

Rey looked around at the true mess surrounding her, knowing that it would take her hours to clean this since her boss refused to hire on any extra help, and gave in.

“No, we’re not finished closing. You can come now, if that works for you. Just knock three times and I’ll come unlock the door for you.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

She would have replied with the same, but he hung up on her before she could. Rude.

While she waited for him to arrive, Rey took to doing her actual job. Wiping down and sanitizing counters, tables and chairs, sweeping up the floors, and generally putting elbow grease into every flat surface of the establishment. The entire time she was waiting anxiously for his knock, so when it came she didn’t hesitate to go check to make sure it was him and then open the door.

“Hi. Your wallet is on the counter.”

Belatedly realizing how short that must have sounded, Rey mustered up a tired smile before turning back to her work. There was a particularly bad spot at this one table she just couldn’t seem to get out, and she was thinking about taking some grease remover to it to see if that helped.

“Are you cleaning up here all by yourself?”

Rey looked up at him, surprised at the attempt at conversation, and got her first real good look at him. He was tall. As in, possibly part giant kind of tall. He stood several heads above her, an imposing presence with his dark eyes and long hair framing his face. If she had been a lesser woman or seen fewer unfortunate twists of fate in her life, she might have been intimidated by him. As it was, she was just trying not to think that he looked a little bit sexy.

What? She was only human.

“Uh, yeah.”

Good work Rey. Truly, a riveting conversationalist. Your communications professor would be so proud.

“Coworker call out sick?” He rumbled.

“No.” Might as well answer honestly since she wasn’t going to see him again. “I don’t have a coworker. My boss is cheap and I owe him too much money to discriminate.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How’d a girl your age get in so much debt?”

She bristled at that.

“I’m not a child,” she said. “And to answer your question, it’s not my debt. It’s my parents. They left it to me as an inheritance. I suspect you know a thing or two about those?”

He scoffed.

“You could say that. When did they die?”

“I was just a little kid. Don’t really remember it much.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Not your fault, is it?”

She gives up on the spot on the table and instead goes for the broom perched against the wall. Unfortunately, this takes her path right past Ben Skywalker, who takes this as encouragement to talk to her more.

“So if you’re so strapped for cash, how do I know you didn’t rob me blind?” His tone is only half-joking.

“You don’t. I suggest you check your wallet.”

He did just that and seemed to find everything to his satisfaction as he nodded his head and slipped it back into the pocket of his coat.

“Let me get this straight. You work for the guy you’re in debt too? How do you know he’s not rigging it? Messing up your payments so you owe him longer?”

Rey didn’t dignify that with a true answer, only a withering glance in his direction.

“Oh. He is. Then why do you still work here?”

He sounded genuinely confused, enough for Rey to take pity on him and provide a verbal answer.

“Because he owns me, pretty boy.”

He seemed greatly amused and surprised by her use of the nickname, the corner of his mouth turning up involuntarily.

“Okay, well I could own him.”

Rey was confused by his bragging. Sure. Of course he could own him. He could probably own anything he wanted, given who his parents were.

“Good for you.”

She gave an unenthusiastic fist-pump, which only served to amuse him further.

“And if I own him, then it stands to reason I also own everything he owns.”

Rey came to understand what she thought to be his meaning slowly.

“So me. You would own me.”

She grits her teeth, trying to hold back several cuss words. This arrogant, scheming bastard. Thinking he could just buy her like one of his infamous model dates, maybe swing her around to a few charity galas before he got bored and she was used up.

“Well yes, but also no. I would own you briefly before absolving you of your nonsensical debt. The sins of the father, after all, should not be the sins of the son.”

Rey felt the deep-set urge to take back everything she had ever thought about him and apologize profusely.

“Why…why would you do that?”

“Honestly? You’re the first person I’ve met in a while who hasn’t tried to kiss up to me. I was hoping to offer you a new, better job, where nobody would cheat you out of your money. How do you feel about being my…advisor, I guess?”

Rey stared at him in shock. There was just no way this was happening.

“There would be health benefits,” he said by way of reassuring her. “Dental and all that.”

Dental. He thought she was worrying about her freaking teeth.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be your advisor.”

“Excellent. I’ll inform my assistant, Hux. Can you start tomorrow?”

“I…”

“You’ll be free tomorrow,” he said.

She knew he didn’t mean she would have enough time.

“Yeah. Yeah I can start tomorrow.”

#reylo #ben solo #ben skywalker #rey #star wars #rise of skywalker #reylo fic #reylo oneshot #kylo ren

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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888.

5k Survey XV

701. What is your favorite mixed drink? >> Sazerac, Dark and Stormy, Bloody María, and probably some others that I’m forgetting just because I haven’t had the opportunity to make or order a mixed drink in ages. 702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others? >> I feel like I only partially understand what you mean. Not well enough to answer this question. 703. Chicken Marsala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce? >> No thanks. 704. If you were alone in your friend’s house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks? >> Probably not. 705. What would you really like to do but you don’t because you are afraid of getting caught? >> I can’t think of anything right now.

706. Of the following, which word best describes you: responsible, spontaneous, tactful, uninhibited: >> I guess the one most likely to describe me on a given day is “responsible”. 707. Which band would you most likely check out? - The Smiths (indi-pop 80’s-90’s), The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90’s), Front 242 (80’s-90’s industrial/dance) >> I kind of like The Smiths (I like solo Morrissey more). I’ve listened to a bit of Front 242 back in the day, and I remember Lords of Acid but I’m not interested in listening to them right now. 708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit? >> I think that would depend on why someone is procrastinating, because finding the root of the habit is the first step in figuring out what to do about it. Trying to blunt-force treat procrastination itself generally doesn’t work out well for most people (or, at best, works temporarily but at great stress to the person). 709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered? >> --- 710. What kind of poetry speaks to you? >> The kind I can comprehend. 711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours? >> I don’t have a favourite store, let alone one with that specific criterion. 712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else? >> I don’t find myself in that situation often enough to say. 713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading? >> --- 714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion? >> I haven’t had the chance to do that. 715. What’s the most creative answer you can think of for ‘what is black and white and red all over’? >> I don’t have a particularly creative answer to it. I’ve always heard “a newspaper” as the answer to this riddle. 716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over? >> Either to rubberneck or out of sudden awareness of their own speeding. 717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead? >> I mean, maybe. I don’t know, I’ve never been in this situation so I can’t imagine what it’s like. 718. It’s daddy’s birthday. What do you get him? >> --- 719. What’s your 5,000 question survey nickname? Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name A anything but B bubalicious C captivating D deadly E erotic F funky G greasy H heaps of I indie J jelly K kinetic L lasher M Mr. (or Mrs.) N neglected O ogre-like P parading Q quacking R Rico S stinky T the one and only U uber V Velcro W wishing for X x-tra Y yearning for Z zoobalee Now take the first letter of your last name. A aardvarks B baboo C creme pie D drag queen E eggbert F flex G god H hell I Isabelle J juice K kisses L lightning M mannish boys N nice O octopi P porcupines Q q-bert R rainbows S suave T tushy U underwear V valor W weenie X xtc Y yohimbe Z zipper Put the two words together for your nickname. >> Ogre-like drag queen. 720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it’s all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you’re holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it’s done you’re on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night? What does that feeling come from? >> *withering stare* 721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends? >> --- 722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass? >> I haven’t read either one. 723. Write a question and answer it here. >> No. 724. Who is your favorite playwright? >> I don’t have one. 725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in? >> I don’t know what’s come out recently. There’s been a few movies that have been released to on-demand, I think, but I don’t think I’ve seen any of them. And I certainly don’t remember what they are right now. 726. What would the worst movie ever be about? >> --- 727. Do you like truffles? >> I like some things with truffles in them, or truffle oil, or whatever. Do you like Turkish delight? >> I don’t know. 728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman? >> I don’t go around trying to clock trans people. Period. 729. What’s funnier, plants or fire extinguishers? >> What. 730. For question 720 did you write down sex? >> I was pretty sure that’s how I was expected to answer, and I didn’t feel like playing along. You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater. >> Yeah, I was also pretty sure that I was expected to think of sex and it would turn out that you were describing something completely different. I’ve encountered this situation before, lol. 731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid? >> Plaid. 732. What would you consider ordinary? >> *shrug* 733. What is out of the ordinary? >> *extraordinary shrug* 734. Do you ever watch COPS? >> No. 735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o? >> Sigh. 736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it? >> I don’t want a tv show, though. 737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air? >> I don’t know how it works offhand, no. I could always look it up if I needed that information. 738. When do you act the most dramatic? >> I’m not sure. 739. Are you one of those people who have, “see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards? >> No, but Sparrow is. I don’t think I did anything to my card, actually -- didn’t sign it, didn’t write anything. 740. It’s mom’s birthday. What do you get her? >> --- 741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now’? >> I haven’t wondered that about anyone. 742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy? >> No. I would be disappointed and feel a bit betrayed if they had expressed interest in seeing it with me beforehand and then seemingly just... changed their mind without even telling me. Sad, but not angry. I’d definitely ask them about it afterwards, to find out what their thought process was.

743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey? >> Might just be me and Elizabeth (Elisabeth?). I’m not even sure I finished it any of the other times I tried to take it. I might have, but it would have been a long fuckin time ago. 744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean? >> No. That’s just littering at this point. 745. If you haven’t would you want to? >> ^ 746. If you ever did what would you write? >> --- 747. What do you wish you could always be protected from? >> Abuse and alienation. Little too late for that, though. 748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime? >> Loudness should be a fucking crime. I don’t even care anymore. 749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV? >> I like the Yule log, it’s pretty. 750. Is it better to be loved or feared? >> I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had much of either.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

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dopcmine · 5 years

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⋆ 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 — * ⋆ ╰ hey , did you happen to see DAMON NAM on campus today ? you know , the JEON JUNGKOOK look-alike in our seven am class ? yeah , that SENIOR . ah , well they had their SILVER NECKLACE on their desk this morning and left without it . i wanted to return it … but i have to get to class in five minutes . wait , don’t you see them around at THE APARTMENTS ? oh , great ! can you bring it to HIM then ? ugh , thank you so much. you’re the best ! now i know they get the rep of being EGOCENTRIC but you don’t have to worry . they’re always MAGNETIC . and who knows , maybe you two’ll hit it off ! i know that they’re a INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS major too . well , i have to jet before i miss my exam but i’ll catch you at the frat party later , right ? oh , you should bring DAMON ! it’s always fun having the PLAYBOY around .

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 :

fullname: damon nam

nicknames: none

age: twenty-three

d.o.b: april 15, 1996

zodiac: aries sun, leo moon, scorpio rising

gender: cismale

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: tattoo artist @ body electric tattoo and piercing

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 :

twt & insta handle: p7ayboy

insta followers: 1.3m

twt followers: 1m

tik tok: 750k

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 :

cruisin’ around l.a with the windows down, drinking cold beers on a hot summer afternoon, old school music playing loudly from his apartment, late night kbbq dates with the gang, old childhood scars from fights and playing outside until late evening, silver jewelry around his neck and wrists, street racing, rolling blunts on the hood of his car, face smudge with oil and sweat working on his car, stumbling around the city on the lookout for his favorite food trucks, tattoos up to his neck and down his arms all the way to his back, a gold virgin mary necklace hanging from his rear view mirror, belting out to romantic spanish music drunk and slurring the words, always moving forward and never looking back, selfish tendencies, playing with people like a deck of cards, carrying a butterfly knife with him at all times

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 :

born and raised in east los angeles, damon had to grow up a little faster than his peers. he comes from a working class family, his parents both public school teachers trying to get by like every other family. being one of the very little korean-american families in maravilla, damon used to get picked on and bullied to the point he refused to get out of bed in his early elementary days. but like any kid, he made friends with some of the neighborhood kids that went to the same school he did, and they stuck by his side. it gave damon the confidence to stand up for himself now that he had his little group to the point he repeated the bad words they taught him in spanish to the same little boys that would pick on him, not knowing what it meant but knowing it was something about their moms that caused one his many first fights to break out in the school yard. after that, damon and his little band of misfits became a little notorious for getting into scuffles with other students.

he stayed in maravilla up until high school, venturing north to a new house due to his dad being offered the position of principal at a junior high. damon went on to attend lincoln high school but it wasn’t hard to fit in, nor was it difficult to fall into step with a new group of friends ( some of which he knew from his earlier days when he used to sneak out of his house with his friend and venture off ). high school was a ride, even if damon had found a place where he belonged people still loved to talk shit and damon loved nothing more than confrontation. he got into fights behind grocery stores, there was fights in empty parking lots where groups of people showed up before everyone scattered the moment they heard cop sirens down the street. damon did get caught once for a misdemeanor the summer before sophomore year and his parents had to get him out which was a hell of a ride home, both his parents almost losing their voices taking turns yelling at him.

it was that moment that his parents made him attend mandatory after school classes, starting smack in the middle of summer. it’s safe to say he was very angry about it but found no outlet to get it out on when he was confined to the library. he started doodling instead of doing his homework while he was in there, soon off he started drawing more and he had talent. he could draw any picture you put in front of him just by looking at it, and soon he started to create his own. that very same summer, on one of the rare days his parents let him out to go to one his friend’s birthday party, he met their older brother, covered in tattoos from his legs to his arms. old english font and a portrait of a woman he later learned was his wife. he was entranced by the ink that decorated the man, asking him questions as the man grilled the carne asada, coughing every once in a while the smoke blew in his direction.

too keep it short, damon wanted to do that. he wanted to draw permanent drawings on people and he wanted his own. he drew more, filling more sketchbooks with his own ideas and interpretations of others. he started working odd jobs after school, trying to save up for his own tattoo gun and ink, even venturing off to tattoo shops to observe them before he got told to scram. at the age of sixteen he had his own set and it wasnt long before his friends lined up to get their first tattoos done by damon. just little small things that didn’t require damon to worry too much about safety and health. the first tattoo he made on himself was a lucky eight ball and a match, now faded on the sides of his fingers.

at seventeen his got his fake id not only for booze but to get a job at a parlor -- not tattooing -- but cleaning up after them, keeping the store tidy and clean. he had a car at the time, an old beat up chevy, and it took him thirty minutes to get to body electric. the owner new damon was underage but he let him work anyway. point is, he was taken under his wing and became an intern, an apprentice, and by the time damon hit eighteen and got his tattoo license, he was able to work a couple hours at first. from 18 to now, damon has been in the same place with a booming following on social media -- which is thanks to his good looks and talent.

he’s been wanting to drop out of ucla because of how in-demand he is now. he’s tattooed celebrities, from socialites to rappers to all sorts of people. he hooks up his old friends from where he grew up for free, and his close friends at school too. but overall, damon makes hella bank now. which is why he finds school pointless, however, the owner of the parlor he works out told him that if he didn’t finish his bachelors he’ll fire him. the owner definitely grew to treat damon as a son, and wants him to venture out and travel with his talent, but he wants him to be smart about it and learn the ropes of the business industry. it’s why damon stays despite not being too happy about it, but it’s his last year and he’s going to make it one shot of patron at a time.

𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔:

damon is trilingual -- english, korean, and spanish ( considering he grew up in a heavily latinx/chincax neighborhood as a child, the language latched on to him ).

he’s very appreciative of the chicanx culture because he grew up around it, and they took him in despite not being chicanx himself he was still treated as family by his close friends. ( and also because i’m biased to my own culture and east los is heavily mexican/latinx )

he almost joined a gang but it was around the time he was forced into after school study where he found his outlet through art.

he knows how to dance pero like cumbias and shit, he’s hella good at it.

damon makes it his goal to be good at everything, it doesn’t even matter what it is.

he has a bmw he fixed up and uses it for street racing -- races which he wins most of the times ( just ask dae lmao ).

he can drive under the influence of weed but i do not condone this behavior !! but he can do it, but he’s beent doing it, don’t try this at home guys, or alone.

damon was a little heartthrob in high school though, going out with the girls and hooking up with some guys.

he was honestly one of the popular kids growing up, he was in THAT group that people longed to be a part of because they were always out mobbing, drinking, throwing parties and being out. they had fun, but they were also notorious trouble-makers.

his tik tok thing started as a joke because damon looked like the eboys that began to trend and now he has dae help him film them just for the hell of it, because why not. he’s got nothing to lose, it’s a good laugh in the end.

is a gym rat, he’s out there doing weights and bulking up and boxing because sometimes he just wants to procrastinate his homework and that’s valid, plus he’s gotta stay in shape with all that heavy drinking and weed intake.

patron is his best friend -- after dae of course lmao.

damon’s actually never been in love??? like he’s had maybe three s/o’s but it was never that serious? except maybe for his first one? but he’s never experienced something where he feels genuine care for a person and love, it’s mostly just lust and like the need to experience what it’s like being with someone but it never rlly takes off

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔:

gang shit: this one’s already taken up by whoever’s in the no homo chat but like, let me plot out dynamics with you all cause ion know how damon is gonna treat y’all characters if we don’t talk about it lmao

enemies: damon could always use some tbh, those are fun because damon grew up around people that have given him a hard time and he isn’t one to back down from a good altercation

an ex: listen, damon isn’t that great of a person he probably cheated on them only because he didn’t know they were exclusive and frankly, he doesn’t really even remember agreeing to be something but they were and even if damon knew, he still went ahead and did it.

highschool sweetheart, THE ex: listen this one is...particular and super specific. must be a girl/nb but latinx because i picture this being the person who really really taught damon more than he already knew, from dancing to romantic spanish music, etc. perhaps they weren’t in love but they did care about each other, damon even still has a gift i picture she gave him ( a gold virgin mary necklace ) hanging from his rear view mirror. this is like...when we can take up more chars ig? idk just thought i’d write it down

flings: hookups ig? except not people involved with dae cause he isn’t about to fuck no sloppy seconds lmao, if not he venturing out to usc away from ucla lmaooo

idk what else to add im so tired and this is so late and i just want to post it, so if y’all got anything else just hmu tbh

#bruins.intro #im late lol

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ksjmoon · 6 years

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alphabet tag

i was tagged by @taettu thanks for the tag eheh

and i taaaaag @jinsoulc @jinseas @dreamksj @anamjoon @wlwtual @solare-hoseok @yeontanstan @jjksangel @capgi and anyone else that wants to do it also if u don't wanna do it or have done it I'm sorry just ignore it djdjjsjs

a // age: 19

b // birthplace: lisboa

c // current time: 23:41

d // drink you had last: water

e // easiest person to talk to: probably rita, dont wanna be cheesy but idk i trust her and feel comfortable being myself w/ her

f // favourite songs: ATM: promise by jimin (im so proud of my bby boy uwu), riding by lana del rey, pluto by bts (im never getting over this song????), good evening and tell me what to do by shinee, love shot and tempo by exo (seqshi), lambada by kaoma (its been literally stuck in my head for weeks), diz-me que sim by 4taste (they are best band of this generation no one can tell me otherwise) sghdd idk i cant choose fav stuff i hate when ppl ask me that jhdjdhjd

g // grossest memory: this is really not a gross memory but the first thing i thought about was when i didnt had a skincare routine and id go to bed without washing my face omghfghdg im ridiculous that shits disgusting

h // horror yes or horror no: no

i // in love: no got better stuff to do with my free time

j // jealous of people: definitely more envious (not in a toxic way tho) and not jealous at all really?

k // kids of your own someday: hell no thats way too much responsibility for me

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: walk by again i guess shdjhdjh

m // middle name: i dont really like it shjshsjsh its isabel

n // number of siblings: 1 older sis

o // one wish: for things to go smoothly career wise i mean im in the middle of my degree but i feel that i dont have the potencial/confidence for things to work out and have a successful career and everyone in that college is way more talented and has better skills than i do and that makes me really nervous shssh omg sorry abt the rant

p // person you last called: mom

q // question you’re always asked: “do u believe in astrology? :O” omg yes i understand and study astrology in my free time let me breath jesus also people used to ask me if my nails were really mine and not fake ssjshsjh yes they are mine

r // random fact about you: i really like high fashion and id love to work for vogue or fw someday even tho thats kinda impossible

s // song you last sang: im trying to recall new years karaoke night but i dont really remember the last song we sang? but probably britney spears, backstreet boys or a song from mamma mia

t // time you woke up: 08:30am

u // underwear colour: black

v // vacation destination: milan, iceland, santorini, thailand, india, cuba, honestly so many places i have a whole list :(

w // worst habit: procrastinating

x // x-rays: like going to the doctor and they take an inside pic of you? yea hdhdjdh

y // your favourite food: theres this plate idk the name in english, curry, literally all types of salad and pasta with a bunch of ingredients like veggies and fruit u know and veggie lasagna. now moving on to sweets i luv my moms chocolate cake, honey and walnuts cake and i also like my sisters pear pie!! and a bunch of other pastries whose names i dont know in english shshjs im sorry

z // zodiac sign: scorpio sun eheh

happy new year everyone!!! i hope u all had lots of fun and that this year brings u all lots of good stuff <333333

#i had lots of fun this new year it was the best ive ever had!#i picked up fruit #and i could see the stars really well :(#and i had lots of fun with my friends!!!#im sorry shsjsjjs literally nobody asked #maybe i should go back to twitter if i wanna talk that much #tag game #abt

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elitheradguy · 6 years

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I was tagged by @smerlaug to do this tag!! I havent done one of these in a while :0

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 followers you want to know better!

Age: 19

Birthplace: Ontario

Current time: 10:15pm

Drink you last had: Pepsi

Easiest person to talk to: Hmm... probably one of my best friends? or my cousin but like she counts in the best friend group so

Favourite song: o shit I got a few boys. I have like... 2-3 songs of the week at any given time, but right now its this, this, this and this

Grossest memory: hmmmmmm... the one thing that comes to mind is when I had a bug on my leg when I was like 7 or 8 and I was like “huh cool” but then the other kid I was with killed it while it was on my leg :(

Hogwarts House: hufflepuff im p sure! Its either that or ravenclaw i think but im p sure im more of a hufflepuff

In love: nah

Jealous of people: hmmm.. idk?

Killed someone: well this went from 0 to 100 real quick eh? i havent killed anybody but i can name a couple people who have.

Love at first sight or walk by again: nah

Middle name: Rather not say thank u

No. Of siblings: 1

One wish: full understanding of my own identity would be nice

Person you last called: i usually text lol. but uh the last phone call i had was with my mom

Question you are asked most: huh. no idea. thats not something i usually think about lol

Song you last sung: fall for you by secondhand serenade

Time you woke up: 10.

Underwear colour: uhhhhh thats a bit personal dontcha think?

Vacation destination: hmm. like where id like to go or where im going next or where ive been?? gotta be a bit more specific bud but Ill just answer all three ig. Id really like to go to Scotland, Im going to the Caribbean in february, and the last place i went for vacation was Antigua.

Worst habit: procrastination lol.

X-rays: hell yeah man x-rays are cool. dont know what ur tryna ask me but i think theyre dope.

Favourite food: hmmm... I rly like Italian food. American italian food ig? bc Ive never actually been to Italy. So I rly like lasagna and pizza and shit.

I’m tagging: i have like 2 friends and u expect me to tag 10 people what even is this. okay jk lets see uhh @mclov3ly101 @brittymitty @spiniferousentity @captainsuckass @rexness613 @chaoticrooster @stephaniereneeme @weedle-testaburger @honey-apples and @spuuniverse yall dont have to do the thing if u dont want but ay why not

#eli talks

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xreaderandreaderinserts · 7 years

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PJO/HOO x Reader -- Part 2

Name: (Y/L/N), (Y/N)

Grade: 9th

Locker #: 87

Student ID: 23247

Homeroom: Barnes, Dianna - 126

Notes: Special Placement. Will be put in a tenth-grade class schedule.

You had wandered around the halls of the school looking for the office when you decided to just ask for directions. “Hey!” you said to a red-headed girl with grey eyes and freckles, “Do you know where the office is? I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t seem to find it.”

The girl glanced at you and raised one eyebrow. Her eyes traveled up and down my body, and she relaxed. “Sure, sweetie!” Wow. Her voice was a lot higher than you had imagined it to be. The girl moved a bit closer to you and faced the hallway to your left. With her right hand pointing down to the hallway and her left hand firmly on your shoulder, she said, “Just go straight down that hallway all the way to the end. On your left is where you’ll find where you should be. Good luck, honey!”

“Thanks!” you said with a grimace. As you began to walk away, you rubbed the side of your head. Dang. That girl had a really annoying voice. You wondered why she had said what she said in the way that she did: “On your left is where you’ll find where you should be.”

You reached the end of the hallway and turned to look at the door on your left. It looked more like an exit than a door to another room. Oh well.

You opened the door and nearly fell. The door had led to the outside of the building and opened to a drop off the side of a hill. It wouldn’t have been too bad if you had fallen. It was a small fall and there was a big dumpster just in front of the door. Well, now you knew why that red-head said what she did. You would stay away from her.

After almost falling in the school’s dumpster, you had closed the door and turned around. There, on the right side of the hallway, was another door. Next to it was a sign that said OFFICE.

You had gone into the office and turned in the rest of your registration paperwork. Your first couple of classes had gone well and now it was lunchtime.

Today was enchiladas day, so you got there pretty early due to your rush. On your way to the lunch line, a boy with dark curly hair and a funny limp had run past you and stopped in front of the counter. “Four, please,” the boy said. You followed quickly behind and stood to his right. The boy seemed to stiffen as he slowly turned his head to look at you. When you looked at him, he turned his head away, but you could see him glancing at you in the corner of your eye.

“Uh... Two, please,” you said, trying to ignore the strange boy. One of the lunch staff handed you your tray before his, so you moved to his other side and punched in your student ID. You said a brief thanks and walked away.

On your way to find a seat, you spotted the red-headed girl from earlier. You ducked your head, hoping to not have to talk with her again, but she spotted you and started to walk towards you. “Hi!” Her cheery voice seemed to ring in your head, “New Girl, right? Did you find the office okay?”

You looked up at her, eyes ablaze and angry. Why would she even ask that question? But you kept your cool and stayed collected. You replied with, “Actually, no. The directions you had given me let me to the dumpster. It was the door on the right, not the left, that leads o the office.”

The red-head feigned surprise, “Oh no! I’m sorry! That was my bad. I just assumed that everyone was smart and knew not to fall into a trashcan.”

You were fuming now and you clenched your hands into fists hard. You closed your eyes as you shook slightly. Slowly, you took a couple deep breaths and walked away. Behind you, you could her laughing as she walked off to get her own lunch.

You decided to sit in the hallway to eat. At least here it was quieter and you had more privacy. You continued to eat in silence when you heard footsteps approaching you. Shoot! you thought I’ve been caught. Now I’m going to get a referral -- and on my first day!

“Hi,” a voice said, “Why are you eating out in the hallways alone?” The voice didn’t sound like a teacher’s. “Can I sit with you?”

You looked up and saw that it wasn’t a teacher, but instead, a boy around your age. Maybe a couple years older than you. He was tall and had black hair and green eyes. He was still looking at you expectantly. “Oh! Uh, yeah. Sure. If you want to,” you rambled, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” You laughed nervously and he chuckled at your awkwardness.

The boy leaned against the wall next to you as he slowly slid to the ground. He stretched his right leg out and kept his left leg up and bent. His arms wrapped around it and he leaned his head back against the wall. “So what are you doing here?” the boy asked again.

“Uh. Just wanted to find somewhere quiet to eat, I guess. It’s my first day so it’s been kind of rough.”

“I’m sorry to hear about that. What’s your next class? Maybe we have the last class of the day together and we can both struggle.”

You laughed at his response. You moved your lunch tray from your lap and put it on the ground next to you. Under your food was your schedule. You turned it around to it was right side up and scanned it. “Umm,” you hummed as you glanced through the sheet, “My last class today is with Ms. Dodds. Do you know her? Is she any good?”

“Ugh! I have her next too. Let me just tell you,” he looked at you with wide eyes and had begun to use his hands to speak, “She’s terrible! Nobody likes her and she’s really mean.”

“Oh no!” you gasped, “Is she really that awful?”

“Yup,” he said, popping the “P”. “But hey,” he continued, “At least you have to help you get through it. We can be in agony together. Oh! Before I forget, what’s your name, New Girl?”

“(Y/N). (Y/L/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N)! Sorry.”

The boy smiled at you. “Nice to meet you (Y/L/N). I’m Percy Jackson.”

And that, my dear readers, was your weekly dose of shit. I’m sorry that I didn’t post this sooner. I am a huge procrastinator. I hope you guys enjoyed this one and be sure to leave a note if you want me to keep going with this.

#x reader #pjo #hoo #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #percy jackson #jason grace #leo valdez #frank zhang #nico di angelo #will solace #xreader #/reader

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lokbobpop · 3 years

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Belief

noun. something believed; an opinion or conviction: a belief that the earth is flat. confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof: a statement unworthy of belief

Believe comes from old German words meaning to have trust. Belief doesn't require proof, just acceptance. If you're on a jury and the prosecution and defense present two different versions of what happened, you have to decide which side you believe. To believe can also mean having confidence.

Belief be lief be life be lei f be leaf

Writing the word belief

What are my beliefs who am I really as ive just walked being and not really knowing who i am so what to I believe myself to be ? As i dont know who I really am at the moment.

Im of the belief of so many things that im not who i think i am for a start like i think im shy timid but am i really just because i say i am am it its only a thought do i have to believe all my thoughts they could be wrong why ive decided to live by these thought for 55 years doesnt mean I believe them and i should start questioning my belief redefining my beliefs what would suit me better to move through all my beliefs until i stand as me and not a belief my mind has told me to be which is such limited and only one prospective of what it thinks i should be. It been like a support but a scared frightened and fearful in which ive believed i should be but not actually am, i thank my mind for the support but id like to actually try myself now confidently with determination.

Thoughts of others beliefs and the judgement i have towards them like religious people how ive seen them as stupid inferiority to me less than because they are scared and not seeing they are scared only seeing there chooses of being scared. New age people how ive seen myself as better because I think I know better within desteni my belief that all people that take drugs drink alcohol are beneath me because i dont do it and have perceived myself as better than. The belief when meeting someone have have to be superior or inferior to them to judge me and them at the same time to see where i am, and that if I haven’t fitted it that ive alway blamed them for being not so nice people but not looked at why i think im inferior to them.

The belief ive had in the past not suiting me know and feeling ashamed of them now thinking how did I believe this when ive believed myself as not equal for 50 years from my first moments of learning my abc 50 years in sept that I just wasn’t getting it like the others whats wrong with me and how ive decided to live this about myself or the rest of my life and even tried to hide it from others so im no it judged,

I think of monks nuns who devoted there lives to religious things and i judge as wasting there lives especially the ones that call themselves religious and have been evil with the name of there religion like in children’s homes where they have been beaten raped and all sorts of terrible monstrosity’s

Reading the word Belief

Im not sure what to believe as in i most question everything but i cant get the answer to everything well maybe i can ive not tried with fear of looking stupid for not knowing.

Having a belief makes you narrow minded that you don’t want to expand on that belief because its so ingrained in you that if it was wrong your whole life will be wrong.

The belief that something awful will happen like the end of the world scenario or something will happen to my daughters plays hard on my sometimes but why do i do this why have this carried around all the time its affected my physical to the point of not more the body has started to breakdown malfunction because of these constant belief.

The belief that i will change and i am changing is keeping me goin i see since writing my words thing feel so much better i feel good about myself and what im processing to do but just as i said that comparison of myself and other destinations came up and how i saw myself for a brief moment of being superior to them with all my hard work when ive only just started walking with writing and they have walked 15 years of writing lol

Belief out load

Thoughts of being lost in my beliefs comes up do I actually know what I believe its like i cant put my finger on it because fear says hey what if your wrong about this you need to ask someone about that because you could be wrong. Fear of being wrong and always wanting guidance to be sure not sure in one self i always do what I think others want me to be to so im not wrong it’s a coping and coping mechanism that i dont look stupid i need to find myself to live myself with confidence so i can be true to myself.

Belief in god when i created a belief in god that i had a amazing experience that i named this god but 10 years later when I realized that there was not such thing as god with the George recordings it left me the thought it came out of my physical down my left side it pulled out it was pretty amazing to happen and it was gone in second well it took tow days to get to this belief so my belief in god was 10 years and not as a person but as an all being presence.

The belief i will walk my mind before i die worries me im 55 and move like a snail but this is only fear so i looking that i will get the job done in this life and be able to help others find there paths

Being trapped in belief maybe just letting be whats be would be good but i see this is part of procrastination of doing nothing and wanting to do nothing.

Belief run deep for most people they find it very hard to change a belief they have about themselves.

Dos this definition support me no it has lost of judgement towards others myself in a polarity of good and bad fear within beliefs and how im a going to change the belief ive lived with all my life

Belief be life

Belief

To have a belief in self and selfs process to support my change and the change of others so they to can believe in themselves

How will you live this word ? I will live this word with self belief that i will crate within me all who i am and can be in this life and help others find there way in this life by living the words determination self belief self confidence in self and others change

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stayextrafrosty · 7 years

Text

Good Friends Die

Request: Would you be interested in doing a Patrick x reader one where the reader is his internet friend and they've haven't got a chance to meet yet. The reader loses someone close to them, your choice. Patrick finds out about the death and he flies out to support the reader for the wake of funeral, what have you. I just lost my Grandma and I feel utterly alone...

Warning: Angst, family member death

Pairing: Patrick x Reader

Words: 2957

Stumpomatic is online

The notification pinged in the corner of my laptop. Of all the names he could have given himself, he called himself the same thing he called his guitar. Patrick was a weird one, but he was my friend. I would almost call him my best friend. Even though we haven’t actually met.

We were testing out this messaging system that was like the old AOL instant messaging back in the day. His friend designed it and it seemed to work well. No viruses had attacked my computer yet.

Stumpomatic: hey (Y/N)! what’s up?

Patrick and I met through Tumblr. He didn’t really use it that often, we just met when he commented on a post I made about music. That got us talking but with Tumblr’s messaging system being shit at the time, he sent me the link to test out this one instead.

MusicisLife: oh not much. Trying to work on this homework but I seem to be procrastinating

Stumpomatic: Sorry should I let you work on that?

MusicisLife: Nah, don’t worry about it. If I wasn’t talking to you, I’d be looking at something else.

Patrick and I were about the same age. He said he was in college for music theory but did some stuff for a band on the side. We would talk for hours at a time. He would even try to help me with homework. We’ve had our fair share of late night conversations where we stay up until four in the morning.

I helped him through a bad break up a while back. He was drinking a lot and didn’t seem to care whether he lived or died. Once he was able to find himself again, he made a point to make himself heathy. He told me that he lost weight and was able to cut back on his drinking. I was proud of him.

Later that night when I was finishing up homework at almost one, Patrick messaged me.

Stumpomatic: I really wish I could meet you. You’re so cool and one of the few people that understands me. Hopefully soon.

MusicisLife: Yea. Hopefully soon.

A couple weeks later, I was sitting in astronomy class. Our professor was talking about stars and how they were formed. Stuff other than they were a giant, burning ball of gas. But that��s the general and pretty accurate summary.

My phone started buzzing with a call. I jumped slightly because people rarely called me. I glanced at the caller ID and saw my mom. She was probably calling to remind me to go visit my grandmother in the hospital. I silenced it and focused back on my notes. The professor was a bit picky when it came to calls in class.

About a minute later, my phone was buzzing again. Ok, I’m pretty sure my mom knew I was in class. I silenced it one more time. She texted me next.

Mom: It’s important

My eyebrows drew together in worry. I heard a throat clear and I looked up to my teacher.

“(Y/N), whatever is so interesting on your phone, can you please take it outside?” He nodded his head toward the door. Did he really have to call me out? I blushed as I hurried out to call my mom back. It only rand a couple times before she answered.

“I know you’re in the middle of class but this is important.” She sniffled into the phone.

“Mom, what is it?”

“It’s your grandma, dear. She’s gone. Passed while she was asleep.”

I froze. I mean, this wasn’t a surprise. She hadn’t been eating. She drank minimal water and wasn’t all there most of the time. I guess that’s what cancer did to you. It’s not like she was young either. She was eighty-one.

I felt my shoulders start to shake. The tears slipped down my face and I wiped them away quickly. I couldn’t break down in the middle of the hall. My heart hurts. Everything seemed to hurt.

“Your father and I are at the hospital now. Get here as soon as you can. I love you so much,” she said.

“Ok. Love you too.” I tried to walk back into the room as calmly as possible. I began to pack up my things quietly. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by my asshole teacher.

“I hope you have a good reason for leaving, you know that you can’t make up labs.” I had to stop myself from bursting into sobs. I looked at him after pulling my backpack on. I smiled sweetly but felt a tear slip out.

“Well my grandmother just died so if that’s not a good enough reason then I don’t know what is.” His face changed in an instant. Looking guilty and apologetic, he resumed teaching, paying me no mind.

I hurried out of the classroom. Everything I passed was a blur. Maybe that was just the tears in my eyes. I didn’t remember the drive to the hospital. I didn’t remember running to the room. I pushed open the door.

My parents sat in the chairs, my mother crying into my father’s shoulder. I looked over to the bed. She laid there peacefully. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open slightly. I couldn’t stop myself from looking for the rise and fall of her chest. Of course, there was none.

I walked over to my parents as we all hugged. I could only hope that she was in a better place or that she could see my grandfather again, who passed a long time ago. We waited for the people from the funeral home to come. They would take care of her. Make her look like she did when she was alive.

When we got home, my mom called her brother who lived a few hours south of us. Him and his wife would be coming up for the wake in a couple days. Before I could run to my room, my father stopped me.

“You know it’s ok for you to stay home for the next couple days. Just be sure to let your teachers know it’s a family emergency.” I nodded slowly. I never really saw my father cry. But today his eyes were red and puffy, just like mine. He pulled me in for a hug and kissed my head. We held each other tightly for a moment.

“She loved you so much. And so do I. I’m here for you when you need it.” I smiled at my dad.

“I love you too, daddy.” I hadn’t called him that in almost 18 years. He ruffled my hair and I turned to head up to my room.

I shut my door quietly and dropped my laptop bag next to my bed before I fell onto it. I laid there for a bit before letting it all out. I cried into my pillow, screaming and asking why. It hurt so much. I don’t usually pick favorites but that’s what she was. She was my favorite grandmother. She was just like me. She loved music and learning new things. She never scoffed at my music taste. She encouraged me to learn as much as I could, even if it seemed pointless.

I stayed like that for an hour and a half at least, crying on and off. My dad knocked on my door to offer me dinner but I said that I’d eat later. I glanced down at my laptop bag. I should tell Patrick. He knew about my grandma and the cancer and would even ask about her every few days or so.

I pulled my computer out of the bag and turned it on. I waited for the messaging app to load and almost instantly there was a message.

Stumpomatic: Guess it was a busy day for you today. You know we should really exchange phone numbers or something…

I chuckled at him. It showed that he was still online, but I didn’t know what to say. I don’t think it would be the best idea to just drop the bomb on him. I jumped at the ping my computer made as he sent another message.

Stumpomatic: There you are! I was beginning to worry haha

Stumpomatic: Sorry, was that weird?

I laughed a bit more. He was sweet and I liked him a lot. I responded quickly so he didn’t have to worry anymore.

MusicisLife: No, don’t worry about it! I think it’s sweet that you were concerned for me.

Stumpomatic: Well you are one of my best friends.

MusicisLife: Awww. That means a lot to me.

Stumpomatic: Well tell me about your day! Was I right to be worried? Haha

I paused for a moment. He meant for this to be lighthearted. I didn’t want to throw reality in his face. He was a happy guy generally. Very positive and hopeful. I didn’t want to dull that shine. I took a deep breath. He deserved to know. He knew a bunch of other stuff about my personal life anyway.

MusicisLife: Well, you don’t need to be worried. But I haven’t had the best day. In fact, it’s been pretty shitty.

Stumpomatic: Oh no… I’m sorry. What happened?

MusicisLife: Well, you know my grandmother?

Stumpomatic: Yea…?

MusicisLife: Well she passed away today. While she was sleeping. The wake is on Thursday and the funeral Friday morning.

Stumpomatic: Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I know how close you two were…

Stumpomatic: What’s the name of the funeral home if you don’t mind me asking? I’d like to send flowers.

MusicisLife: Oh Patrick, you don’t have to do that. Your thoughts are enough. I just felt I should tell you.

There was silence on his end for a while. Long enough that I started working on homework to try and distract myself. Almost an hour passed before he messaged me back. Not that I was counting or anything.

Stumpomatic: Please, (Y/N). Let me do this for you.

I sighed and sent him the address for the home. He was really one of the best friends I could ask for.

Stumpomatic: I want to say thank you.

MusicisLife: For what?

Stumpomatic: For telling me about this. About your personal life. Thank you for trusting me.

MusicisLife: Well of course. Like you said earlier, you’re my best friend.

Stumpomatic: And another thing…

MusicisLife: ?

Stumpomatic: I really like you. Like… More than a friend…

Stumpomatic: I’m sorry. Totally inappropriate time to drop that on you. just ignore me. Sorry, good night. I’m so sorry about your grandma

Then he was gone. He either logged off or turned off his computer or something because he was just gone. I read over his message again. And again. And again.

Patrick liked me? Maybe it was a bad time for him to tell me. But for a second, I felt something other than hurt. Reading those words, I felt happy.

Patrick wasn’t online the next day at all. Like he was avoiding me. I distracted myself by helping my parents send out cards and planning for the wake and funeral.

It was funny actually. I was using Patrick as a distraction from my grandma and now I was using my grandma as a distraction from Patrick. I felt bad. Because I knew I should be focusing on her. But there were plenty of tears from me and many more to come.

I pulled on my black and red dress the next day along with my simple black boots. The fall was starting to get cool so I wore a jacket. The wake was going to go from three to six. My grandma was a quiet person. She had friends but only a few. I had no idea who was going to show up.

My parents and I were there about fifteen minutes before the wake to make sure everything was presented acceptably. My uncle and his wife walked in shortly after. He hugged my mom and dad before pulling me close. My uncle wasn’t much of a hugger so I tried to hold on as long as possible.

I walked over to the casket. She laid there looking as alive as I’d ever seen her. I hoped that she would sit up suddenly and say boo. I laughed at the thought because that would be something that she would do. There was even a small smile on her face. She looked so at peace.

Some tears rolled down my face. My mother came and held me for a bit before people started showing up to pay their respects. I didn’t know most of these people and none of them really talked to me unless I was with my parents.

I spent most of the time walking around and reading the names of people who sent flowers. And again, mostly names I didn’t recognize. I looked for one in particular though. I couldn’t seem to find his name anywhere. That was when my mom came and tapped me on the shoulder.

“Hey, do you know that guy by any chance?” I turned to look where she was. There was a man standing there. He looked almost uncomfortable. His sandy blond hair was swept across his forehead and he wore a dark grey dress shirt with some black skinny jeans and nice shoes. Cute. But I shook my head.

“No. I don’t recognize him. I’ll go find out.” My mother nodded and went back to mingling with the other guests. I took a deep breath and walked over to the stranger.

“Hi. Do you know Millie?” I asked with a smile. His eyes were a blue-green and they seemed to light up a bit when he smiled back at me. His smile took my breath away for a moment.

“No. I’m just here to support a friend. You might know her.” His voice was smooth but not too deep. I cocked my head slightly.

“Well I don’t know many people here so chances are I won’t,” I said, laughing. It was nice talking to him. Comfortable and familiar. He chuckled a bit.

“Did you know the deceased?” My smile turned sad and I nodded.

“She was my grandmother. I loved her so much.” A few tears found their way down my cheeks. A gentle hand brushed them away. I looked up at the familiar stranger.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” I raised an eyebrow at him. How’d he know my name? He smiled sadly at me.

“My name is Patrick. You might know me as ‘Stumpomatic.’” I froze and stared at him in shock. Patrick? The Patrick that I told everything to? The Patrick that wanted to meet me? The Patrick that told me he liked me?

“Patrick?” He looked like he just remembered something and turned to pick up a vase of flowers from the end table behind him.

“I decided I wanted to present these in person. I’m so sorry for your loss.” He handed the blue flowers to me and I took them. Tears started flowing down my face. I didn’t know where they came from but they were here. I walked past him and set the flowers back down where they were. His sad smile broke me.

I covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from making too much noise. He pulled me close, cradling me. One hand pet my head while the other held me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his torso, hugging him back.

We stayed like that for a bit. He would hand me tissues occasionally, and every time I would laugh a bit and apologize. Then he would laugh and tell me that it’s what he’s here for. Once my blubbering had finished, I tried to think rationally for a moment.

“While I’m thinking clearly… how and why are you here?” He laughed awkwardly and shrugged.

“Well I flew here from Chicago. I wanted to be there for you during this rough time like you were there for me. That and I figured it was about time that we met after more than a year of talking online. I do wish it was under different circumstances but I got the nerve to do it and I told myself I wasn’t going to chicken out anymore.” A light blush coated his cheeks. I smiled at him.

“Well then, I guess it’s a good thing that I like you, too.” It took him a moment to realize what I said but when he did, his face turned almost red. I giggled a bit.

I looked back towards the casket again. A few tears began to fall. Patrick pulled me close again. He kissed my head gently and began to pet my hair again.

“I know it hurts right now. But it’s gunna get better. Just think. She’s probably in a better place now. If I know anything about her, I know that she wouldn’t want you to mourn for too long. She would want you to be happy. Live life for her. And you want to know the best part about her being gone?”

“What’s that?”

“She’s not suffering anymore. She’s free from the pain. She knows that she had a beautiful granddaughter that loved her and that’s all she wanted.” Looked up at him as happy tears ran down my face instead of sad ones. He still knew exactly what to say.

He was right. She was happy. She lived a full life even though the cancer wanted to stop her. She loved life and now it was my turn. I would love living in her place. I miss her. I will always miss her but I know that it’s better. She’s happy.

#fanfiction #patrick stump imagine #patrick x reader #fall out boy fanfiction #requested #angst #fluff #patrick stump #patrick stump fanfiction #band imagine #i take requests

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