#thank u for throwing me this bone lmao

[atrwriting]

rivalry — blackwood and bracken arranged marriage au

pt. 2 my luvs

so i wasn't an aeron girly and then a few people requested him and i was like shii maybe y'all are onto something

ok full disclosure i genuinely didn't think i would be able to write for him and then suddenly i think i wrote the dirtiest thing i've ever written in my life (like ok maybe im exaggerating but fr i was quaking in my boots)

as always, warnings: enemies to loves, smut smut smutty smut smut, blowjob, p in v sex, hate fucking, he's so pretty i cried writing this, dom!aeron, swearing, bit of pre-sex violence in an ok way, anal play, rough sex, arranged marriage, heavy on the sexism, aeron is a consent king u can't convince me otherwise

don't tell me if this sucks lmao actually please tell me im a whore for validation and critiques

_____

he did not know how he found himself in this mess.

genuinely, he did not.

when aeron bracken was a man grown, he understood duty and how he needed to uphold it. he understood that duty and tradition needed to be put over his own wants and needs, for it was for the greater good for his house.

...until that greater good came in the form of two marriages between brackens and blackwoods. his younger sister would marry a blackwood, and he would marry the younger sister of his new brother in-law. he bit his tongue at the idea — aghast at how a feud that is so engrained in their bones could be thrown away with two simple marriage pacts. how could a wound so deep, so festered — be expected to heal so fast, let alone at all?

despite the fact that it left him aghast — he would not show it on his face. his face was that of stone throughout the entire ordeal; the ceremony, the feast, the dancing — all of it. he hadn’t even had a proper look at his bride — because what would it do? it wouldn’t matter. he would bed whoever it was once or twice a month, and hope for the best.

that was until the wedding night.

there was no bedding ceremony, thank the gods — but there was throwing of cups.

lots of cups.

aeron had never had so many silver and gold chalices thrown at him in his entire life — especially not by a woman.

there the pair of you were — in your nightwear, behind a locked bedroom door, and you were throwing cups at your new husband.

aeron hadn’t even stepped within ten feet of you. he had simply sauntered into the room, greeted you, and began taking of his clothes as you were already dressed for the occasion.

“will you stop it?!” he hollered, bending to avoid the goblet hitting him in the temple. “i command you to stop!”

“you think that because we are married i will obey you?” you spat, throwing anything in your line of sight to keep him from you.

“i would hope that you would refrain from pelting me with objects until i have at least done something to fucking deserve it!”

“you’re a fucking bracken!” you spat.

aeron couldn’t believe the mouth on you, his new wife — but he could believe such atrocities came from the mouth of a blackwood.

“trust me,” he spat, dodging the next object. “i would rather be anywhere else than here!”

“you think me ugly, husband?” you responded curtly. “that i am not fit to share your bedchamber?”

“not when you’re trying to maim me — no, wife!”

“or that i am beneath you?” you spat.

suddenly you were out of objects to throw at him — but that relief was clouded by his sheer realization that your bark was just as bad as your bite.

“i never said that —" he said, trying to catch his breath. “if i recall correctly — it was your brother who referred to me as craven, and then agreed to the marriage pact. your brother began with the insults —“

“but not until you —“

“wife!” aeron suddenly hollered, his fists balled at his sides as his skin began to turn pink. he was a few feet away from you, keeping his distance. when you did not flinch at his volume or tone, he kept going, “am i bedding you — or your brother, hmm?”

“i wouldn’t be surprised —“

he couldn’t take it anymore. he stomped over to where you stood. his tall height forced him to lean down so his face was only a few inches from yours.

“whether you like it or not — you’re a bracken now,” he spat. his eyes were blown wide above you — consumed with an anger that appeared to be foreign to him. as you studied him, he continued, “we can either get this over with, or we tell our families we would not perform our duties. is that what you want?”

“you think i’d scoff at duty?” you demanded. “i refuse to be any man’s triumph — let alone a maiden on my wedding night!”

the admission caught him by surprise — but the look of fear that cross your eyes threw him much more by surprise. you weren’t a maiden, but what did that matter now? he could've scoffed at your admission. just like a blackwood to make a decision they regret.

“look,” he sighed, shaking his head. “that doesn’t matter now — and it would ruin both of us if anyone knew that. it does not bother me that you’ve been with someone else, nor will i force you to be with me. however, i will not be subjected to hatred from my wife when this is the first time we’ve spoken. if you wish —“

“get on the bed,” you spoke, sighing.

his brow furrowed in confusion.

“get on the bed,” you repeated.

he looked over you once before he pulled his shirt above his head, discarding it. as he turned, he began to unlace his pants — but he did not take them off. he let them hang loose on his hips before he laid down on the bed.

he returned his eyes to you as soon as he had laid down. when he set his eyes upon you, he realized you were bare. bare in all of your glory. he had never seen a woman so perfect in all of his life. skin as soft silk bed sheets, hair cascading down your back like that of the most coveted mare, and a figure that even the king himself would ask your hand in marriage for.

but he did not say that. any of that. his eyes were trained on you in the way any man would be on a woman as beautiful as you. and when his mouth parted slightly, his lips falling open in awe — you knew you had him and that no words would’ve been as good as the look on his face.

you fought the urge to smirk, but that did not stop you from walking towards him. you straddled his hips, letting your cunt fall right on top of where his pants hid his bulge.

“i prefer to be on top, husband,” you spoke.

he raised his eyebrows, silently conveying that he was impressed. “you’ll find no quarrel from me, wife.”

aeron bracken wouldn’t say that he was inexperienced, but he definitely did not have the confidence his lady wife had. he also never thought he would like a woman taking control… but the prospect of hurting a woman made him so nervous. he never saw he would actually see the day — him, a bracken, afraid to hurt a blackwood.

“but i must ask you one thing,” he spoke, refusing to touch her just yet. “this is of your own volition? — because i don’t want to do this if you do not wish it.”

you quirked an eyebrow at him, wrapping your arms around his neck in a loose embrace. “what of duty?”

“if duty comes in the form of forcing your wife in the bedroom — ” he spoke softly, and then continued, “i want no part in it.”

you couldn’t believe your ears. you didn’t think he would be aggressive or ruthless, but you never thought aeron bracken would want your consent — of all things! you didn’t think any man would ever understand the concept — and yet here was your husband, sitting below you and not touching you until he had your consent.

a small pool of wetness collected between your folds, and then slipped onto the laces of his pants. you didn’t think he’d notice — but you did.

he was looking at you intently — studying your face, but also waiting for your reply. you couldn’t help but give a knowing smile.

“are you pleased with the wife you received, husband?” you asked, gesturing to your naked body.

“i consider myself very lucky, wife,” he spoke, a slight smile coming to his lips. “but no one had ever conveyed to me how pretty of a face my wife had.”

“did they convey how poor my attitude is?”

“i already knew that, my lady.”

you swatted him lightly and playfully — both of you smiling.

“i want to do this with you,” you spoke, taking his hand and putting it on one of your breasts. “do you want this to be with me, husband?”

his hands were greedy with what he had been granted access to. his large hand grasped at your breast before he rolled your nipple in between his index and thumb finger. your hips jerked forward then at the sensitivity while your mouth parted slightly. aeron couldn’t help but watch as a blush rose to your cheeks, and he realized then that he wanted this very much.

“very much, wife,” he spoke, suddenly realizing he should at least try not to sound too eager.

he’d never know, but you didn’t mind his eagerness. you took it for candor, and that you appreciated.

you grabbed his other hand, and place it on your other breast. you witnessed his gaze flicker between your breasts and your face, almost like a silent question. when you bit your lip and smiled, aeron bracken did not waste any time.

his perfect lips wrapped around your nipple, which looked too good to aeron not to get a taste. his teeth had found the bud, lightly grazing it as he sucked at it. with his other arm, he wrapped it around your back with a focus on your waist. he began to thrust his hips slightly upward as he pushed and pulled you forward and backward onto his bulge.

“tell me what you like,” aeron ordered, still pinching your nipple.

you gasped at the feeling — surprised at aeron’s confident nature. you ground your cunt down harder onto his bulge, enjoying the friction from the laces of his pants. you grew worried at the prospect of soaking his pants, wondering how he would react.

“i want your cock inside me,” you mused. “and in my mouth.”

he moaned against your breast, the vibrations sending ripples throughout your entire body. he replied, “more, wife.”

you laughed, threading your fingers through his hair. “i like to be taken from behind — and i want your arm around my neck. i like it rough, husband."

for a mere instant, he thought about how other men would respond to her admission and use of coarse language. within that same moment, the thought vanquished from his mind. he realized how lucky he was to have a wife seemingly as experienced as you — for what trouble would there be now? you would tell him if he was hurting you, and you would be able to tell him what you like.

“and what do you like, husband?” you asked, running a few fingers up and down his upper arm.

he moved his hands down to your knees, running his large palms up and down your thighs. you watched his shoulder and bicep muscles tense and release as his arms extended and retracted, rubbing your soft skin. “i want to make you finish on my cock.”

you raised your eye brows at him as you blushed, laughing. “is that so, husband? i was led to believe that brackens were selfish — but now i see they're just ambitious."

you watched him as he appeared to turn over words in his head, contemplating what to say. you realized then how different aeron already was from what your family was like, and what your family believed him to be like. “can i ask you for something?”

“what, husband?”

“just allow me one night.”

you quirked an eyebrow at him. “what… do you mean?”

“allow me one night to prove that i am not what your family believes me to be.”

“my family?” you asked, stunned.

“nor you, wife,” aeron stated with a knowing grin. “just one night — for me to prove that this does not have to be a union consumed by hatred.”

you did not answer. you simply leaned down, and connected your lips with his. with both hands cupping the sides of his face, you kissed him with only sweetness and curiosity. aeron was so… different than you had ever thought he would be. he intrigued you. he honestly did. maybe it was the feud, maybe it was something else… because it didn’t matter. all you wanted to know what was the extent of his sweetness.

when he had finally discarded his pants, you marveled at his cock. it was bigger than you had ever seen, and your eyes told that. aeron smiled when he saw your surprised reaction, and couldn’t help but feel more confident at the prospect of an experienced woman being pleased with what he could offer.

you couldn’t help yourself — you immediately took him into your mouth.

aeron had received blowjobs before, sure — but not like this. oh… definitely not like this. with your hollowed out cheeks, you took him deep into your mouth and down your throat. the warmth from your mouth made him shiver, but not before his muscles tensed at the same time his mind relaxed. he had never known bliss like this. how could his pretty wife ever think he would scorn her for her experience, especially when he benefitted from it so sweetly? few hairs fell down to cover your face as you sucked on his cock, and he couldn’t help but think about how fucking lucky he was.

so lucky. so fucking lucky.

that was until you pulled off.

“does etiquette escape you, husband?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

he raised an eyebrow. “no — but your meaning does. why have you stopped?”

“because you should be holding my hair out of my face!” you snapped, eyeing him.

you didn’t let him respond. you took him back into your mouth before one of his hands picked up all of your hair and piled it on the back of your head — away, and out of your face.

good, you thought. he can take directions.

that was until you felt him begin to push down on the back of your head, causing the tip of his cock to nudge further and further down your throat. you wanted to scold him — reminding him you’re the one in charge when his cock is down your throat — but you didn’t. you didn’t because when you snapped your eyes up and saw the look on your husband’s face, you would’ve gasped if you could.

his cheeks were tinted a light pink as his eyes had drifted closed. with his mouth slightly parted, falling open in pleasure, he fought back the urge to let small moans escape his throat. with his adam’s apple bobbing — all you wanted to do was keep him teetering on the edge of not enough of and the perfect amount of pleasure.

you should’ve scolded him for pushing down on your head without asking, but you realized suddenly that it ate at your womb like the hunger for his big member inside of you. your realization occurred at the same time aeron noticed you watching him.

he smiled.

wickedly.

“are you enjoying yourself, wife?” he asked, holding your head up so you were only sucking the tip.

you narrowed your eyes at him, unwilling to give him what he wanted.

he threw his head back in laughter. you went to tell him off, but he pushed your head down again. you gagged around him, fighting the urge to cough and cry. you were growing irritated with his actions — wondering where in the seven hells he got the fucking nerve.

he noticed your anger the instant your brow began to knit together.

“you’re so pretty, wife —“ he spoke, relishing in the pleasure you granted him with a wicked smile on his face. “but you are so much prettier when your cock is down my throat and that attitude escapes you.”

he pushed your head down again, causing you to gag and a tear spring to your eye. you wanted to tell him off — but when the warmth in your womb curled with the anger in your chest, you couldn’t. you just couldn’t. you couldn’t bring yourself to scold him, because what if he stopped? what if he stopped the delicious, bittersweet feeling that he was giving you without even touching you?

“i can see it by the way you’re rubbing your thighs together,” he spoke, eyes on the backs of your legs. “can’t help it, i see. all that blackwood attitude, 's too much for you, isn't it? — all you needed was for a bracken to put you in your place.”

he wasn’t choking you, no — but the surprise attacks on the back of your head and into your throat threw you for loops. you didn’t like to be out of control, and didn’t think you ever would — but you couldn’t deny the slick that had fell from your folds and was now collecting between your thighs. you grew insecure at the thought — that if the flames from the fire or the lanterns caught the shadows just right, aeron would see your slick glisten in the light. the realization was embarrassing and exhilarating all at the same time — but you couldn’t deny you wanted more.

“that’s it, wife,” he cooed condescendingly above you. “take that bracken cock down your pathetic fucking throat.”

you did. oh gods, you did. your throat was hoarse with the bittersweet attack on its inside. you were fighting back coughs and gasps, wanting to wipe away every bit of saliva from around your mouth but you couldn’t. you were stroking the bottom of his cock and bracing yourself with your other hand — working him as fast and as hard as he wanted you to.

and then he pulled you off when you reached the tip of his cock.

you were hazy — lost in lust. he pulled you off of his cock with your mouth still open, saliva beginning to run down your chin. you were gasping for air once aeron let go of your hair, only to replace his hand around your throat.

you immediately grabbed his wrist — you weren’t sure why. to brace yourself, maybe — but that was all you could do as aeron held you before him with your back arched towards him while he sat upright.

you weren’t sure what you looked like — probably a mess; spit, tears, and messy hair. but aeron? fuck, aeron — he was himself. completely himself. confidence and pleasure and arrogance formed to make a look of power on aeron, and you couldn’t help but want him more. the pink hue of his cheeks and lips did not suggest innocence, no — but exertion of a man’s power. at that moment, all you wanted was your bracken husband inside you.

“you hate that you liked that, don’t you?” he asked, a small wicked grin playing at his lips.

you couldn’t answer. you could only gasp for air in response, throat still dry from his cock.

“cock keeps you quiet, wife?” he laughed then.

your eyes narrowed at him, even through your tears. that set you off.

“well, when you shove your craven cock down my throat —“

he chuckled then, and you were too weak to protest. “craven cock, that right?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “well, maybe i should let my reputation precede me — i guess i don’t care about fucking my wife the way she needs me to.”

“i don’t need you to,” you spat, lying through your teeth.

“you don’t?”

he held you upright then, leaving you on your knees with your back arched. he towered over you on your own knees as you felt a hand of his slip down your abdomen, and in between your thighs.

he laughed once more. “you don’t?”

you went to hit him, but he caught your hand. your cheeks were beginning to sting with want, need, and embarrassment. when his fingers began to rub circles on your clit, the fucking center of the ache — you almost doubled over onto him, hoping to catch yourself on his chest. you fought against his fingers, forcing yourself not to show any sign of enjoyment.

he chuckled darkly. “i’m going to have to fuck that blackwood attitude out of you, aren’t i?”

“as if you could,” you replied, glaring.

he raised his eyebrows at you then — a dare. you were feeling weak, and definitely weren’t able to match him — but you couldn’t let that show.

“i was going to be nice and let my pretty wife ride me,” he ordered, sighing. "get on your stomach."

he let go of your throat with a slight push on the release. your muscles were wound so tight that the abrupt action caused you to lose your balance, and fall. with a huff, you rolled over onto your stomach.

aeron couldn’t believe the sight before his eyes. the flames and the moonlight from the window caused shadows to ripple across your perfect hourglass shape and ass. aeron pushed your soft, long hair off of your back and onto the bed so that his fingers could trace the length of your spine from your neck to your tailbone.

you shivered at the feeling. you were about to scoff at him when he smacked your ass.

“bracken!” you spat. “how dare —“

he chuckled before he pulled you up the hips. you caught yourself on your knees and hands, trying to keep your balance. a blush rose to your cheeks as you realized you were… completely exposed to your husband. you felt his hand come up to the fleshy part of your ass, kneading the thick skin. you froze.

“my perfect wife…” he mused, massaging your skin.

you wriggled in his hold, and he held you still — spreading your cheeks. you gasped at the further exposure — every private area of your body now visible.

“husband…” you spoke.

his tone mocked you. “you’re still soaking, my lady — do you really want your lord husband to stop?”

“piss off — !”

he smacked your ass again, causing you to yelp.

“can’t expect better from a blackwood…” he sighed. he spat on the puckered hole of your ass, and you froze. he let the spit drop from your ass to your cunt, mixing with the juices collecting on your folds. “are you going to lose your mouth?”

“i swear —“

you felt his finger circle your puckered hole, and before you could protest — he slipped his thumb into you.

you gasped, leaning forward. his laugh vibrated through him, and you felt it against the backs of your thighs. it was only his thumb — but you had never been touched in such a way. you had never had anyone, nor anyone breach such a private area of yours. you felt it bury itself to the last knuckle, all of your muscles tightening around it. you should’ve felt violated, dirty, something of the sort… but you didn’t. all you could register was how empty your cunt felt in comparison.

“have you ever been touched here before?”

you didn’t answer, still speechless.

he smacked your ass once more. “you will answer when your lord husband speaks to you.”

“no, husband…” you whispered. “please, husband… i want your cock…”

“…i could give you my cock, couldn’t i?” he spoke, slipping his thumb in and out of you gently. a sharp intake of break was involuntary from your throat. “i could, but what would that teach you? my greedy blackwood wife would continue to think so little of her bracken husband.”

“don’t make me beg,” you whined. “i want you so bad, please…”

you couldn’t see it — but you could imagine the smirk on his face at your words. he slipped a finger inside your soaking cunt and aching clit, and couldn’t help but let out a sigh at the feeling. your cunt clamped down around his finger like you had never had someone inside you before, needing him so desperately. his circles on your clit were agonizingly slow, and soon the relief from his minuscule touch was turning into desperation.

he realized this at the same moment you did.

“who knew my lady wife could be such a whore for her husband,” he spoke lowly. your hips began to rock against his hand, wanting and needing more. so much more. “do you wish me to stop? tell me.”

“no —“ you cried. “you can’t stop, i’ll… i’ll…”

your body felt like it had pins and needles everywhere. you had been pushed and pulled toward an orgasm, over and over, but never fully brought to the peak. you were warm, cold, hot, freezing — all at once and it smashed your resolve to pieces. you were a pathetic, drooling, sopping mess that needed her husband to quell this ache; to put it to rest so that you may rest.

he ripped his hands from you, and you sobbed. you actually sobbed. you bent your hips back to meet his, but met nothing. you bit back a sigh of frustration as tears threatened to overflow from your eyes.

“seven hells…” you sighed, shoving your face into the bed cover.

then, you felt your hips being pushed down as your knees flattened. you went to turn around to question it, but then you felt your husband spread your thighs. the cool air hit your cunt like lightening and you whimpered at the feeling. you felt an arm snake around your throat as a weight settled on top of you.

you felt aeron’s lips press against your jaw — pushing your head to the side as his touch calmed you. you let your head be supported by his strong arm, whimpering when you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance.

“maybe brackens are mean…” he whispered against your ear. “an honorable husband would right that mistake, wouldn’t he?”

he didn’t wait for you to respond. he thrusted his cock into your wet cunt. once his cock filled you, a gasp left your lips on reflex. you could feel a groan rumbling in his chest as he bit down on your neck. your husband had complete control over your body, and you gave in to his thrusts as his hips snapped against yours.

“that’s what you needed,” he stated with a wicked grin against your cheek. “cunt so warm and wet — just wanted to be fucked so bad.”

“you fucking bastard —" you cried. “it feels so good —"

with a groan, he spoke, "i know it does — didn't i promise i'd make the ache go away?"

your cunt sucked him in — refusing to let him go as he thrusted inside of you. he slid his hand underneath your stomach and let his fingers find your clit and roughly rub shapes on it. you reflexively bit down on his forearm, crying into his skin. your hips wanted to move with him, or against him, fucking anything — you weren't really sure, as they had a mind of their own. the pleasure was too much — and way too much for your mind. aeron was fucking you dumb into the bed without anywhere to go.

you felt his lips by your ear, "that's it. take it for me. ungrateful cunt — can't get enough of craven bracken cock."

nothing that left your lips was coherent. you were gasping onto his forearm for dear life as his sword hand drew the greatest weapon of all — forcing the sobbing, strong woman to become clay in his fucking hands. with his own hips and arm, he held your hips down as they tried to fight against them. try they did, but they were no match for a man like aeron bracken.

"tell me you can't get enough wife — " he grit against your ear. "tell me you can't get enough of craven bracken cock."

"don't make me — "

he stilled not only his hips, but his hand.

he held your still with his forearm, locking you in place. you fought against him, trying to buck your hips back against his cock for anything you could get. with malice, he replied, "i could use my hand and hold you down on this bed as i finish all over your back. would you prefer that, wife? spilling over you like a common whore? or will you listen?"

"fucking —" you spat, consumed by frustration. "aeron, please —"

"are those words too dirty for you, my lady?" he asked condescendingly, softly and slowly moving his finger against your clit. not enough to satisfy you — but definitely enough to frustrate you further. "you want me to fuck you like other lords fuck their new wives? slow, and shallow? maybe three thrusts before they fall asleep? barely caring if their wife feels good?"

"no..." you whimpered.

"then say it."

"please, husband..." your mind going numb with frustration. "please — i need your craven bracken cock."

"that's is, love," he spoke, sheathing his long cock inside you once more. "that's all i needed. such a good little wife for me."

his fingers immediately continued their assault on your clit, and you gasped at the feeling. you could feel and hear aeron's laugh behind you as your hips jerked once, twice, thrice before you let out a cry. it filled the room and would fill the ears of anyone walking by your room. you dug your nails into his forearm as he pulled you closer against him, closer, closer, closer — kissing your forehead as you came. you came, and you came, and you came. there was nothing like it. there was nothing left of you. you had never experienced an orgasm that was so fucking earth shattering. it pushed and pulled you like nothing ever before. with each aftershock, aeron sucked on your neck and hummed at the taste. he wanted to swallow you whole, and leave nothing left for you. you were clay — barely crumbs in his hand, but only his to mold.

when you went limp, aeron let out a hearty, earthy grunt. he pushed you down onto the mattress as you lay flat on your stomach. on his knees and between your thighs, he grasped the flesh of your ass in both hands and fucked your cunt straight into that perfect spot that you had only found once or twice in your life. he was like an animal behind you; predator and prey, with the carnal need to breed you dumb. when aeron delivered his final thrust, his hips snapped against you and you could feel him against your cervix. it hurt in the most delicious way possible — almost like you could feel your hips, cervix, womb, fucking everything open for him and swallow him whole.

he collapsed next to you before he pulled you into his arms. he placed a single kiss on your forehead, long and hard and you sighed, content.

"did i prove myself to you?" he whispered as the flames from the fire begin to die down, cloaking you both in darkness.

you scoffed, nuzzling further into him as you kissed the skin of his chest.

"no need to admit it, wife," he laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "i already accomplished tonight's ambition."

you swatted him — and he laughed, not fearing you in the slightest.

____

lmk what u think ;)))) -L

[osleeplessflowero]

It's been long enough, time to bring back some content for this series. I hope you all enjoy! (Also yay new lily divider! Gonna start putting these around my notes from now on :] credits are in the tags!)

*Notes - Reader Soultype: Bravery🧡 - Reader Gender: Ambiguous, They/Them pronouns by default - Horror goes by Sans - Context from the first two parts is needed for this one to make sense - Words: 3,906

☕Previous Part☕ 🎃First Part 🪓Oneshot Masterpost/List 💜💙 In-Progress Fics Masterpost/List💚💛

Content Warning: Swearing, Violence, Light Blood

A while passed since your coffee meetup with Sans. You've been texting each other pretty much daily, discussing this and that and getting a good laugh out of each other from time to time. He's been really supportive of you since your emotions from your breakup had started hitting you like a truck, bringing your spirits back up when they started to spiral. You really appreciate him for that..

At the moment, you're currently sitting in your living room and replying to the last message your skeleton companion sent you. The two of you had been having a long conversation about something obscure he found, before the topic shifted to meeting his brother, like you'd asked about when you went to go get coffee. Upon being informed, Sans said he was delighted at the idea, and wanted to invite you over for dinner. You eagerly accepted, but not without saying you'd want to bring something over as well.. call it a gift exchange. Perhaps dessert would be best, since he's really looking forward to making dinner.

Thing is, you have no idea what this guy likes, so you don't know how well your decision making could be..

i mean i could just go to the store with you if you need help picking it aint like i have shit to do

You perk up at his reply, grinning. That's perfect! If anybody would know what he likes, it'd be him. And it's an excuse to hang out a little earlier than expected.

sounds awesome, where should we meet? i could just come pick you up tho idk if ur comfortable with me knowing where u live i mean its not like youd be coming over to kidnap me lmao i dont mind sent attachment sick ok i think i know where that is ill be there in a few alrrr i'll get ready then

You hop up from your seat on the couch, walking into your room and picking out some warm clothes so you're comfortable outside. The air has definitely gotten more and more chilly after Halloween, and you're not quite sure if you like that sensation or not.

Hopping a bit to pull on your shoes, you hear your doorbell ring and drop your leg to walk over and look through the peephole. Sure enough, you're met with the skeleton waiting with a bored expression before you open the door.

"Hey! Wow, I didn't think you'd get here so quick." You muse, earning a chuckle from the skeleton as you step aside to let him in out of the cold. Can skeletons feel temperatures? You assume not because of the lack of skin.

He puts his hands in his pockets as he enters, watching you close the door behind him. "i took a shortcut, didn't take long at all. nice place."

"Thanks, it's nothing big, but it's home. That's all that matters, right?" You smile, walking to your bathroom and heading inside to fix your hair how you like it (if you have any, that is.) You leave the door open, glancing over briefly when he stands in the doorway to speak with you.

"yeah, doesn't matter what size. home's a home, anyway." His eyelight drifts around as he inspects what he can see, learning a little bit more about you from observing some of your favorite things. You give him a smile before exiting the bathroom, walking over to the front door to hold it open for him. He follows you out silently, and the two of you begin your walk down the street.

"So..does he like any particular kinds of desserts? Cakes, cookies, brownies, etcetera.. throw me a bone here." You hold up your phone and open your notes app so you can get an idea of what to look for.

"well, anything made from the heart's gonna appeal to him right off the bat. but if you wanna go for something he'll really like.. he loves sugar cookies. like the kind with icing, he eats those up when i get 'em." He smiles, thinking back to a memory. You nod, saving "sugar cookies" to your phone. If you're gonna bake, then it's gotta be something he'd love! That's one way to win him over.

"Sugar cookies it is! Any specific kind of frosting flavor?"

There's a pause. You wait patiently, but when Sans' reply never comes, you look up at his face. His eyes have gone blank, almost like he'd shut down.

"Sans? Are you alright?"

"just..hang on, i..i know it's in there. i know i can remember that, i know i can." He speaks softly, and you frown, stopping in place and stopping him as well.

"Hey. Don't worry if you can't remember. I'll figure something out, don't strain yourself. It's okay, Sans." You reach your hands up, placing them on his shoulders with a reassuring smile. His eyelight slowly reforms in his eye, warbling a bit before returning to its usual large shape.

"..okay. thanks."

You nod, leading the big skeleton along until you finally reach your destination: the grocery store. A nostalgic song plays as you both hear the doors slide open, granting you both access. Thankfully not too many people are inside at the moment, which gives you more room to look and gives Sans a bit more peace.

Seeing as you probably won't need a bunch of ingredients, you settle for a basket and begin walking to look for the baking section. Sans simply walks right beside you, ignoring any stares from other people inside.

"Okay, sugar cookies..I need a box with a mix..I'm not getting the frozen ones, I just wanna make these myself. I could get some red icing maybe, like strawberry? Or cherry? Is there cherry icing? I'm sure there is." You mutter to yourself as you walk, unaware of Sans' fond smile as he watches you talk, making sure to pay attention in case you ask him something out of the blue.

"I could make cute little patterns on them- ooor I could just cover them..I dunno, we'll see how I feel when the baking starts." You smile, reaching your hand up to try and grab a box of the mix you need, but frown when you can't reach it. Gonna need a step stool..

Sans leans a little over you from behind, putting a hand on your shoulder and reaching up to grab the box for you. You smile up at him, thanking him promptly as he shrugs it off. You should ask him to shop with you more often, it'd definitely be easier than climbing the shelves. You used to do that when you were younger, and had gotten caught a few times..well, you won't get caught again!

You look through some different cookie cutters, debating cutting the cookies into shapes, and if so, what shapes in particular to use. Your peace is interrupted when you hear quiet whispering a good distance away, furrowing your brows when you overhear what some people are saying.

Sans tries to pretend not to notice, but you can tell it's really starting to bother him..

You hold out your arm. He looks at you with confusion, raising a browbone.

"Take my arm in yours." You whisper, earning even more confusion. "C'mon, just do it!"

He holds out his arm slightly, and you take that as a cue to wrap yours around it, walking with him down another aisle. When you walk beside the few whispering, you glare daggers at them before looking over some different cookie cutters that are much more to your liking, wondering why they hadn't put them where you were. Poor organization..

Sans keeps his skull turned away, a mix of a blue and red flush covering his cheekbones as he avoids looking at your face. You don't seem to notice, which he's admittedly a bit thankful for.

"Okay! I think that's all that I-"

You hear your name being called, stopping mid sentence. Your eyes quickly dart over to the source, spotting him..

Your Ex.

Your grip tightens on Sans' arm. He snaps back to reality, looking between you and them before realizing. You glare at him as he approaches.

"So. One day you just ditch me out of the blue and now you're hanging out with monster trash. Man, I didn't think you'd stoop that low."

"Shut up. Nobody cares what you have to say. You're the only one who's trash here. Just leave me alone, and get out of my life."

"Woah, easy." He holds up his hands in mock defense. "Got me shaking in my boots, babe! So scary.."

"Yeah, still scared after we spooked the shit out of you in the haunted house?" You tilt your head, a sly smile on your face. His face darkens, and his brows furrow.

"Whatever- Look, you-"

"I just want you to leave me alone. The only reason you finally want to spend time with me now is because I'm gone. You had your chance with me, and now I'm spending my time with way better people. We are through, we will always be through, so leave me be."

"You really think a monster is better than me? You're kidding yourself! Just.. look at him. He's probably an actual axe murdere-"

You move before you can think, punching him square in the nose and watching him stumble. It isn't until you see his blood on your hand and his widened eyes that you realize what you just did, quickly ushering Sans away and pulling him to the checkout section. You have what you need, time to get out of here.

It's quiet as you pay, before you both leave the store. Sans tugs a little on your hand, so you stop, facing him as you calm your breathing down.

"..you okay?" He sounds a little worried.

"Yeah. I'm..I'm alright, now. Are.. you okay?"

"you just punched a guy for me." He states, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Well, yeah. I hate him and he was being a jerk, of course I did. Nobody messes with the people I care about." You grab some napkins from the bag, wiping away your ex's blood as you both make your way across the street.

Sans bumps your hand with his, so you unclench your fingers, allowing him to hold it. ..He's..never done that before. That's new.

Heat rises to your face, and you pray to anyone above that it doesn't show. That's all you need right now.

You enter your home, turning on the lights. "Just go wherever, my house is your house and all that jazz. I'm gonna wear something for baking." You smile, walking to your room. He gives you a thumbs up before you go, sitting down on your couch and covering his face with his hands.

Stars, feelings are complicated. You just made his soul do a somersault twice in a row without even meaning to. It's not fair, why does he have to feel so- conflicted?! He moves his hands down, groaning before taking a deep breath as you walk back in.

"Okay. You wanna bake with me?" You smile innocently, completely unaware of the rollercoaster looping around in his skull. He nods, walking into the kitchen after you, simply watching as you grab an apron and set the oven up for baking.

Several seconds of ingredient hunting later, you set everything out on the counter and get to work. Crack the eggs, add some butter, throw in some oil.. mix. You move around like a robot, earning an amused chuckle from the skeleton as he sits on the same counter to watch you, sending some ingredients over when you need them using magic.

Once you have the cookie dough mixed up properly, you smack his hand away once with a spatula to make sure he doesn't try and snatch any up. Your focus then shifts to the icing, making a bit of a mess as you stir. A bit of it lands on your face that you don't seem to notice, but a certain someone with you does.

"hey, c'mere." He slides off the counter with ease, making you stop in your tracks. He holds his hand up to your cheek, resting his thumb over a small bit of icing. He pauses for a moment, the two of you staring into each other's eyes. Heat rushes to both of your faces, his cheekbones erupting in a blue and red mixed blush as he raises his thumb to his mouth, allowing his mixed tongue to lick away the icing in question.

Oh. Oh man.

You avert your eyes when he does, focusing back on the icing. That's new. A lot of things are new today.

The tension eventually fades out once the cookies have been brought out, now cut into lovely different shapes Sans is sure Papyrus will love. He shares a few stories he can remember from the past, you happily listening along and sometimes replying with witty comebacks to his jokes.

Time flies, and finally the cookies are finished, ready to eat! You almost feel kinda bad that these'll be gone soon..but it'll be worth it if he likes them! You hang up your apron, grinning slyly when you turn back to Sans. He raises a browbone in your direction, when you place a small bit of icing on his nose. He laughs, a determined glint to his eye as he tries to get some of the leftover stuff on you, the two of you chasing each other around the kitchen before you erupt into laughter.

He looks up from the floor at you, and his breath hitches. You have a really nice smile..he should tell you that some time. Not yet, though. No..it's too soon for that.

You grin, licking any leftover icing on you and walking to your room to change into the clothes you'd set out previously for when you go with Sans back to his house. Alright, first impressions are everything! Gotta look nice for the occasion.

Sans stares at the ceiling for a little bit while he waits for you, trying to remember some obscure TV show he watched once as a child with his brother he just can't seem to put a name on. You eventually walk back into the room, determined and ready to go. You walk into the kitchen and grab the lovely bowl of cookies you baked, holding it under your arm.

"So, shall we walk?" You smile as he walks up to you, but then raise a brow in confusion when he shakes his head. Maybe he'd prefer driving? You didn't see a car outside, though..

"i know a faster way to get there, if you're okay with it."

"Sure. What is it?"

"hold my arm for a sec. you might feel kinda dizzy for a little bit." He offers his arm to you, and you accept it quickly.

"OkaaAAAY-" You panic when the ground disappears from beneath your feet, holding onto him tightly and squeezing your eyes shut. It is only when you're back on the ground that you open them, glancing around. ..You appear to be in someone's driveway, someone who owns a very lovely home.

"aaaand we're here. tada." He grins, letting you regain your balance. How did he do that? When did he learn he could do that? Why did he not tell you he could do that befo- that's how he got to your house so fast. Of course. A "shortcut".

"You're really amazing, Sans." You smile up at him, chuckling a little to yourself when he looks away. He leads you up the porch steps to the front door, knocking in a rhythmic pattern and waiting for a moment before it swings abruptly open.

"AH! Brother, There You Are!" The much-taller-than-you'd-expected skeleton exclaims, pushing up his glasses a bit so he can see better. "And You've Brought The Human Along With You! Excellent! I've Just Gotten Started On Tonight's Dinner. Do Come Inside! It's Certainly Much Warmer Than It Is Out There. Sans, You Both Didn't Walk, Did You? It's Easy For Humans To Get Colds!"

You both smile at his rambling as Sans reassures him that he used a shortcut to get here. He's a total contrast to his brother, a ball of energy to counter his brother's overall tired and "lazy" demeanor.

Papyrus gestures for you to walk in, you both promptly remove your shoes at the door when you see that there are a few pairs of boots there already. You can assume literally all of them belong to Papyrus, because Sans is usually either wearing slippers or sneakers.

"Ah! Where Are My Manners." He clasps his gloved hands together, grinning down at you. "I Am The Great Papyrus! I'm Certain My Brother Has Told You About Me Already." He grins, his braces shining when the light of the ceiling fan above him hits them.

You smile, moving one of your arms to hold it out to shake his hand, watching him eagerly grab it. "It's nice to meet you in person, Papyrus." You tell him your name, and he makes sure to remember it for next time.

"Sans told me you were really looking forward to making dinner tonight, sooo I thought I'd bake some cookies! We can have them after dinner's over with, and you guys can keep them for a while until you run out. And if you like them, well..I'd be more than happy to make some more."

Papyrus gasps, putting a hand where his heart would be, as if he'd been struck right through it. "Oh, That's So Kind Of You! And Fitting For The Occasion! You Can Place Them On The Counter For Now, There Should Be An Open Space."

You do as instructed, admiring all the lovely little details in the home. They certainly tell you plenty about the two, and the things they like.. There's a ton of pretty patterns in the wood in some parts of the kitchen, presumably crafted by Paps himself. There are some red gingham curtains gently blowing with the breeze from outside before he closes the windows, and you briefly catch a glance of a clothesline with drying clothes. Huh, Papyrus must be into cosplay. That's cool!

Sans spooks you, giving you a pat on the shoulder as he walks up to his room. Ooh..this gives you an opportunity to see it..you would hate to pry, though. Maybe another time you can. You'll definitely be visiting later.

Deciding not to pester him, you focus your attention on Papyrus, who's happily humming a tune you don't recognize and cooking up something that makes your mouth water.

"So," His voice catches you off guard, making you jolt. "How'd It Happen?"

"How'd..what happen, exactly?" You smile, leaning a bit on the counter to watch him work.

"How'd You Meet, And How'd You Convince My Brother To Think So Fondly Of You?"

"We met at a- wait, he thinks fondly of me?"

"Well, Of Course He Does! Don't Tell Me You're As Blind As I Am Without Glasses." He lets out a nyeh-heh, stirring something. "He Talks About You Quite Often!"

"He does?.." Your voice is soft when you ask, heat creeping back up to your cheeks before you shake your head to try and make it go away.

"Indeed! Now, I'll Repeat The Other Part..How'd You Meet? I'm Very Curious About That."

"Well, it all started when me and my..well, he's my ex now-"

"Oh, Is This Drama? Now I've Certainly Got To Hear About This. I Love A Little Bit Of Gossip." He grins slyly, and you let out a laugh before going into detail about everything.

Papyrus is such a lovely person to talk to, even if you have to repeat what you say a few times because of his hearing problems. You can definitely understand why Sans thinks so highly of his brother.

Speaking of Sans, he finally joins you both downstairs after a while, having changed into an almost exact replica of the clothes he had been wearing before but much cleaner. Look at him, getting dressed up for the occasion..

Papyrus finishes making his masterpiece, and you all sit down at the table together. It's such a warm environment..Sans cracking jokes, Papyrus groaning but making a few of his own in return..the two sharing fond stories from the past..Papyrus talking about his work and what he loves to do..you could listen to him for hours. The food is immaculate, and you fight the urge to groan with delight at the taste.

When dinner is finished, you send your compliments to the chef, and the taste test for the cookies begins..you stare with anxious anticipation as he inspects a skull-shaped cookie, amused by your choice before biting into it. Silence fills the room before he grins in your direction, putting his hands on his hips.

"This Is Excellent! You Did Wonderfully! Stars, I May Run Out Of These Within The Week! GAH!" He puts his hands on his skull, you and Sans letting out a laugh at his expressions.

"Don't worry, Paps. I'll definitely make some more for you later."

"Wonderful! You Simply Must Show Me How You Make Them. They're Exquisite!"

"Maaybe..but good magicians never reveal their secrets, do they?" You smile slyly. He gasps in understanding, before placing his fist against his palm.

"Right. Fair Enough!"

You don't realize how fast time flies when you're having fun. You could spend eternity with these guys, without changing a thing. They're both so much fun to be around, and..it's really nice, being surrounded by such caring people.

Before you know it you're sitting on the couch, listening to Papyrus ramble about scandals in the monster celebrity world, promptly gasping when you hear something shocking. Sans simply watches the both of you with a lazy smile, chiming in from time to time before you all focus on whatever movie's playing on the TV.

One movie turns into several..

You feel your eyes slowly close as you lean against something big and warm, relaxing with a smile.

Sans freezes when he looks down at you, holding his hands in the air and unsure where to put them. Papyrus scoffs, motioning for him to put his arm around you. Sans looks at him with an expression that screams "are you crazy?!" before Papyrus shoots one back, rolling his eyes and waving him off before whispering a good night to him and heading upstairs. Fuck. What does he do? He couldn't just..could he?

His eyelight darts around until it rests on your sleeping form. He sighs for a moment, before abruptly shortcutting to your house and ensuring that the doors are locked, reappearing in the spot he had been sitting in before. You readjust your position, getting even closer this time.. His face flushes again as he lowers an arm over you, unable to look away. Oh jeez.. Ain't this complicated? Well..lots of things are, aren't they?

Hearing your soft breathing leaves him feeling calm..content. He's..alright with this. He'll embrace the moment for a little while, while it lasts. He focuses on the screen, until his eyes begin to close as well..maybe a nap wouldn't hurt.

[tortoisebore]

ff author interview !! 🧚

wahhhh thank u for tag @fruityindividual 🧚✨🧚✨

How many works do you have on ao3

2 (#3 is in the drafts & i’m mustering the courage to post on anon 🧚)

What’s ur total ao3 word count

212,244

Top 5 stories by kudos

#1 is hey, sharpshooter (she’s still going insane w waves of new readers like im shocked)

#2 is the anon smut i posted forever ago lmfao

Do u reply to comments

i love responding to comments but i am so behind rn im so sorry 😭

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending

technically it’s a wip & i dont think it’ll ever be finished or published but it was a sad little remus pov thing (typical) where he was just miserably in love w his childhood best friend for like 15 years & sirius was having a very bad time forever and ever & not able to make room for anything but surviving even tho they loved each other etc etc (i think i listened to house song like 100 times in one day & said wow. wow how can i make this even gayer and sadder)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending

hey sharpshooter !! also the ending of the sequel is already written & it’s perhaps even happier !!

Do you write crossovers

noooo crossovers always feel very that’s-so-suite-life-of-hannah-montana to me lmfaoo i haven’t ever been able to get into one

Have you ever received hate on a fic

idk ab hate but i have received passive aggressive comments/asks ab how often i update & i have been subtweeted bc some teenagers didn’t like that i made remus a jock </3333

Do you write smut

atp almost exclusively, it’s just all being posted on anon lmfao

Have you ever had a fic stolen

no 🧚

Have you ever had a fic translated

yeth, some very nice ppl are translating hey sharpshooter into russian over on ficbook

Have you ever co-written a fic before

no </3 im so sporadic in my writing motivation that i fear i’d be a terrible co-writer & everyone else would be Frustrated With Me & then i would have to pull out all my hair & run into the forest & throw myself off a bridge etc etc

What’s your all-time favorite ship

atp i feel like it has to be wolfstar bc i’ve been solely interacting w it for like 5 years. they r so special to me

Whats a fic that you want to finish but dont think you ever will

that angsty little remus pov </3 it’s too sad to finish lmao

What are your writing strengths

i am being so very genuine when i say i have no idea. probably like conveying violently self-destructive amounts of yearning lmfaoooo

What are your writing weaknesses

my motivation isn’t consistent & when im not in a very specific headspace i cant get even a single bare-bones sentence out of my brain. also i sort of write in circles & over explain things lmfao it’s all basically just me rambling in a character’s pov

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic

i am guilty of this 😈 very very grateful for the french speaker who left a comment on hey sharpshooter like a month or two ago & said “uh hey. this doesn’t make sense <3” & saved my life lmfao

Whats a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

idkkkkk im so stuck on wolfstar i haven’t even thought of writing anything else. this is the only “fandom” im even a little bit into anymore & i barely interact w it outside of tumblr/ao3 jhfgfkjg

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

has to be hey sharpshooter simply bc i cant believe i actually finished it lmfaooooo

tagging @moonheavens (sorry if u’ve already been tagged/posted 💕) & anyone else that wants to play 🧚🧚🧚🧚🧚🧚

[arliganzey]

repcomm ama hell yes! (1) favorite trait you like about zey (2) favorite scene in the books you don't think is mentioned enough (3) controversial opinion you've been dying to spill if u wanna, if you don't, a nsfw headcanon you've always had instead :P (or both!)

Krad thank you for the ask!!

My favorite Arligan Zey trait: I can't pick just one so I'm going to ramble. There is a line that says 'there was a sigh in his voice' and I just feel that in my soul. He's so tired and angry after Triple Zero and he completely loses his shit after Bardan leaves the Order. This scene makes me cackle:

ZEY SAID OSIK 🫵

and then maybe more importantly, he tears up and cries when he meets Venku. Like okay? So he's a giant softie apparently? That's fine, I can be normal about this

2. There are so many good scenes in this series it's hard to pick just one, but the first scene that came to me is really early on in Hard Contact when Omega Squad meets for the first time and gets their Qiilura mission from Zey and Bardan. Darman is a boy scout and asks a question (because he is a true pleasure to have in class), which impresses Zey. Padawan Bardan is sitting on a crate and it doesn't say he's kicking his feet but we all know he's kicking his feet. Then in the middle of it the Gurlanin shapeshifter starts shapeshifting and Zey completely loses his train of thought. It's kind of a goofy/awkward scene and I love it.

3. 🙈 all right I have a hot take. I reread the scene where Etain tells Kal she's pregnant, and while yes he's an asshole about it, my biggest takeaway as a new parent was: holy SHIT this 60 year old out of practice Mandalorian man just voluntold himself to take care of a NEWBORN and RAISE A BABY. He had three kids and raised the Nulls from very small children, he knows what he's getting into. (Okay arguably as the 'absent father' he may not know what newborn care is like but Mandalorians take childcare very seriously so I'm going to say he has some experience). Fandom/haters really shit on this scene, and yes it's super uncomfortable, yes Kal makes threats (which he specifically regrets later), but what other choice does he have? Etain's not going to leave her post and she's going to have a baby with NO PLAN FOR CHILDCARE.

Which, btw, in the real world is one of my number one sources of anxiety when I hear expecting parents have no plan for childcare lmao

Republic commando AMA all day every day~ NSFW quick headcanons below:

3.5 NSFW HEADCANON(S): Etain is a dom and Dar loves it. Zey is an exclusive top until Vau when he discovers he's actually a sub/switch (dragging my rarepair into the mix here). Throwing a bone to the Maze/Zey ships out there: Zey bottoms for Maze but they switch sometimes OKAY DONE

[beauleifu]

I’m back in my kung fu panda phase and I’m appreciating each moment of it HEHEHE Could we perhaps get the reader who grew up with Chinese martial arts and they’re often sparring with Macaque, while Mayor just watches behind and supports them both ? this is after lbd’s whole fiasco, and they’re all platonic friends !

Thank u fren, take your time with it and it’s totally okay if you can’t do it ! Don’t forget to drink water :Dc happy holidays !

YESSSS oh gosh i loved kung fu panda, such a good phase I respect you for that fren lmao

anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY LOVELYY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MACAQUE X READER X MAYOR

Lego Monkie Kid

Context: You. With the boys. Your best friends, who will support you no matter what (and also thoroughly enjoy the trials and terrors they put your sorry ass through). Today, you're training with Macaque on the temple grounds. Using weapons, like usual. What can go wrong?

CW: Language

***

"Carry me, I say!" You chirp, grinning widely.

Macaque stares down his nose at you, unimpressed. "It would be an insult to my strength. I've lifted stuff fifty times heavier than you."

You huff, scrunching your nose at him.

The three of you are strolling through the temple, admiring ancient pieces of Chinese weapons, offensive and defensive, as well as the armor section and a few old relics. However, your destination is the training hall, where you and Macaque shall test each other's fitness and skill levels after technically leveling up both areas. You feel confident, rolling your shoulders experimentally and tightening your grip on your signature fighting weapon.

Now, why three?

A certain bone demon chuckles. "Apologies, (Y/N), but you must carry yourself for now."

"And you won't do it instead?"

"I'm afraid not. I'd like to sit and watch," the Mayor hums, hands clasped neatly behind his back as he strolls alongside the two of you. Macaque pushes open the large, accented doors and you all head into the training arena. "We both know if I were to enter the fray, neither of you would last very long."

The shadow monkey snorts, gruffly assessing the bone demon's frame. "Sure. You're built like a twig."

You flash him a wink. "A dangerous twig with magical powers."

"Precisely why I shall extend my mercy," Mayor says, smiling lazily as he manifests a seat made of bones, settling down on the cushioned surface. "Now please, don't let me interrupt your fun."

Giving him a thumbs up, you turn to Macaque.

He's already grinning down at you, thick, dark eyebrows raised. "Ready to get clobbered?"

"It's a simple sparring match," you reason carelessly. "What could go wrong?"

"Heh. Cocky. I like it."

The two of you face off on either side of the arena, grinning stupidly at eachother. You're glad for times like these, where the three of you can just relax after the tedious and dangerous trials you went through. It certainly seems like the worst is over, though.

All at once, Macaque jabs forward, lightning quick.

You gasp with delight, ducking to the side with a gleeful yelp, and thus begins your sparring match edged with weapons and talons galore. Macaque's offensive start gives you the adrenaline rush you need to counter his attack, using your weapon to propel yourself against the wall. Knees bending like springs coiling tight, you spring forward and jut your spear at the dark furred simian- luckily the tip is dulled and capped.

"Oh ho ho~! You're quicker than usual," Macaque purrs, evading you as easy as the breeze. He takes a few steps behind you, and his tail hooks around your ankle, giving it a swift tug.

The yelp that leaves your lungs is muffled as you collide with the hard, cold surface of the temple sparring grounds, and with a grunt, you raise yourself onto your elbows. "Using your tail?? So that isn't cheating, but me throwing my shoe at you is an instant disqualification?"

Macaque shrugs, smirking. "Are I not allowed to used all parts of my body to defend myself? Unless the shoe was a part of your anatomy..."

"Oh, suck on a dragonfruit," you huff, pushing yourself to your feet.

Deep down, you know he's right, and it just entices you to roll your eyes. Mayor, of course, sides with the six-eared simian, although he doesn't verbally express his share of opinions. Merely, you catch that subtle smirk on his pale features as you spar with Macaque, the subtle quirk of his eyebrow indicating his amusement at your frustration. You're not surprised. The bone demon has yet to drop the chance to get on your nerves.

In the end, you're a breathless puddle of adrenaline with a lingering fight that becomes the only reason you can still swing an scythe. Poor you.

Macaque, on the other hand, hadn't even broken a sweat.

It's been an hour.

Does this guy ever run out of stamina??

When Mayor calls for a breather, you're all but willing to collapse on the plush couch he'd manifested for your sake, the frame made out of bone- of course. You grab your water bottle, taking a huge swing before dumping some of it over your face.

"So how'd I do, huhh?"

Mayor tuts, his trademark smile still ever-present. His eyes flick to Macaque, who joins the two of you and leaning against his staff, supported by his thick tail. The simian clears his throat.

"Good enough. You almost beat me like three times, so . . . props for sheer, absolute stubbornness."

You stick your tongue out at him, still breathless, but silent as the bone demon chuckles. "What our dear friend is trying to say, is that you're improving. Maybe one day you might have the chance to spar against myself, although . . ." He gives a sinister smile. "The chances are slim."

"Awww, cmon. You can't be that good," You huff doubtfully, kicking one leg over the other. An old man like him, putting up a fight worthy of the powerful demons in this realm? Unlikely. However, there's an odd glint in Mayor's eyes that leaves room for doubt.

Macaque's ears flatten. "(Y/N), trust me. I hate to admit it, but . . . Bones here is more powerful than ya think."

The look on your face must've gone noticed by none other than the bone demon himself, who's eyes narrow at your prolonged skepticism.

"Perhaps I demonstrate?"

You're caught off guard as he suddenly stands up, all business as he adjusts his suit and fixes his tie. With a lazy smirk, he extends his hand towards you, a display of misleading courtesy that belies an undercurrent of sinister intentions. Poor, oblivious, gullible you- who takes his hand and allows him to lead you into the sparring arena. You're practically giddy with excitement, totally ready to see what this old bag of bones is capable of.

"Oh, you're on, old man," you hum darkly, sizing him up through narrowed eyes.

Macaque takes your seat on the bone couch, arms crossed over his chest. "Hey- go easy on 'em, Bones," he calls out, looking disinterested. "I'd rather not have to explain this to MK."

"Oh, worry not, my dear," Mayor chuckles humorously, letting you go in order to cross to the other side of the arena. Once there, he spins on his heel, eyes narrowed yet entirely focused on you. "I merely seek to avenge my status, as our dear little mortal appears to doubt me."

You tilt your head, wondering if he'd taken your tease seriously or not. "Uh. Mayor, I wasn't being genuine, you know-"

"Too late!"

Your eyes go wide as Mayor suddenly grins wide. His arms outstretch, wisps of blue and ice cascading from his fingertips and setting the whole arena floor aglow in a brilliant, ice blue hue. You suck in a sharp breath, taking a step back, trying to step off of the cold, ice tiles-

Fire licks at your calves.

You yelp, spinning around- why was it cold???

Then you realize- the Mayor had created a barrier of blue fire, serving as a ring for the arena and effectively trapping you inside. The breath leaves you in a single, shuddering gasp, your fingers tightening on the weapon given to you. A weapon- you're well aware- that will prove to be useless against a demon like Mayor.

Instantly, you realize your mistake, for a moment disregarding your guaranteed safety over the blind notion that you're in danger. You know he'd never truly hurt you but in the midst of all this?? Yeah. You freak out.

"Shit- Mayor, I take it back!" You call out, spinning around-

Only to find the bone demon a mere few feet from your trembling form.

He smiles, tilts his head. "Giving up already? Now that's hardly a warrior's downfall, (Y/N) . . . Go on, give me a good fight," Mayor purrs, before letting out a delighted, unhinged giggle, and lunges.

And boy, does he lunge.

A scream bubbles in your throat, yet you manage to cut yourself off and stumble to the side as Mayor darts forward, hands clasped behind his back. He manages to keep his offense to his feet alone, the thick, black boots kicking out in a series of martial arts moves that shatters your defenses like glass.

You do your best, of course. With each lash of his foot aimed to knock the air out of you or edge you closer to the wall of blue fire, you parry his attacks with your spear.

One- two- three hits, before he strikes a fourth time, harder than the last.

Your weapon splinters right down the middle.

Mayor lets out a mad chuckle, the whites of his eyes flashing in the corner of your eye as he suddenly reaches out, arms encasing your smaller frame and pinning you to the floor.

It took you a few seconds before you'd even realized you'd lost.

"Oh. . . . hgnh . . . O-Owww . . ." You groan, tilting your head to one side to watch the ring of fire slowly dissipate. The glowing tiles beneath your smushed face return to its normal ashen brown, and you're suddenly acutely aware of Mayor's knee pressing into your back. "Ow."

Macaque, who'd been watching the whole thing, rushes into the ring the moment a break in the fire forms. It licks at his hair but he shakes it off, coming to stand in front of you two. He looks . . . concerned.

"Oh my god, you killed them."

"I did no such thing!" Mayor protests, almost indignantly. As if he'd lose control and kill somebody on accident. "All the blood on my hands has never been an accident, shadow puppet. Now- help them up, please."

Macaque stiffens, bristling- but eventually grasps your hand the moment Mayor gets off of you. He hauls you to your feet, one hand on your head.

"You alright in there, bud?"

The moment your eyes meet, Macaque gets a face full of your pissed, frustrated, and still somewhat excited expression. "Fuck you, why didn't you warn me the old man kicks ass harder than my favorite music band?"

"Oh, thank god, you're still there." The simian rolls his eyes sarcastically, finding relief in your scathing remark. It just lets him know you're okay.

Mayor grins over your shoulder. "I didn't bruise you too badly, did I?"

"Mm . . . not really. A few here and there," you hum, scanning your body, pretending to be studious about it. "Mostly my pride and honor, but, y'know, when did I have any of that, anyways?"

Both of your friends manage an amused chuckle at your feigned indifference, knowing you're gonna hold a grudge for a day or so.

"My apologies, dear, but- you did challenge me," Mayor purrs.

"I called you old."

"Same thing."

"Macaque calls you old all the time!!"

"Yessss, but- I've beaten him more times than I can count. I decided to extend my mercy~"

[romsabombs]

GUYS the new malevolent is insane so i just thought i'd drop my notes in here✍️ ENJOY it's a lot

freaky ahh cavern

😦😦😦

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

the man is bathed in darkness👹 john thats racist

mf literally been crucified this is so arthurs religious trauma

that is not what bones sound like i think

shes so me awful posture

me at 4am in the kitchen looking for a snack

WAIT oh yuck :/

HAHA THEY'RE IN HIS NOSTRILS

PRINCE MENTIONED

car accident thats so season 1

this is kind of like a hat in time maybe

omgg a witch :3

arthur survives the wildest shit but i think a mcdonalds sprite would kill him

AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!😨😨 YUCK YUCK EW EW RAAAHHH

WHAAAAAT

cant we only do allat to corpses

omg spit it out john

YEAAHHHH HES DEAD

🤭🤭🤭YIPPEE I KNEW IT

omggg thats so janey :33

hes bein puppeted by the maggots thats crazy

STOP TELLING HIM TO KILL THINGS HAHA

omgg kaynes dagger <33

how can this mf be helpful

this is so tmp a bit

rotten flesh mentioned minecraft ref

HAHA WHAAT THATS SO GROSS

the maggots be like i have your fucking eyes👹👹👹👹

OMG WHAT THE HELL zombie arc

claustrophobia again

imagine harlan recording this

omg that's so sexy 🔥🔥 decapitated his ass

HAHA WE'RE ONLY 11 MINUTES IN??

LMAO john stop saying things

YES JOHN it WOULD have been helpful to know this guy didnt have any eyes

"this isnt new york anymore" thank god amiright

his head between our legs🤨

its so funny how he calls it a pinky. didnt someone on tumblr say john wouldnt know finger names

im surprised arthur still has a shirt

the flesh feels stiff😟

this guy is still alive😦 or. dead. i guess

arthur is like weirdly normal about this guy being a zombie. i know hes seen shit (no he hasnt) but come on

faroes song ☹️

YEAHH PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTHH💪

oh what😐 the prince🙄

what did he sayy

oh gross come on guys😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 at this point just put it in your own mouth

"id like to think this is the most insane thing we've ever done" 💀

teehee they dont wanna seperate :3

YEAH! AND FAROE

"everyone we've ever loved" weak. also john doesnt care about anyone but you

"we cant afford to not use every resource anymore" HAHA this is so funny because didnt you throw away everything youve ever owned last episode

yippee welcome back vanguard :3

nothing😟 WAIT YIPPEE :3

WELCOME BACK VANGUARD‼️☝️

omg names mentioned

wait. yorick? llorick? thats the thing arthur said

its not lorick that was the guy from the dreamlands

WOAH WAIT WOAH HUH

hey what the fuck did that mean😀

omg what. rumpelstiltskin

HAHA hes so loser

OMG wait they said stanzyck right

ofcourse anna is dead bruh we were never gonna meet her

arthur and john both being "kings"😟

this tooth is so silly🥰

everyones walking over arthur today💀

they're so miscommunication <3

hey😀 hey whats that sound

DONT SAY IT ugh the prince

"ahh yes :3"

OH😨😨😨😨 A WHAT

SHUT UP🗣️👹 HAHA THATS SO SILLY

this guy is so kayne. and a bit autistic

wait r we just carrying around this skull

bro arthur sounds so tired

ooo this would go hard as a cosplay

i cant believe he has a belt

EUGH YUCK😦

ooo the black stone perchance?

ok i guess not

omg god forbid a girl has hobbies🙄

"im not saying its not risky. what im saying is, it might be worth the risk" that line goes hard

arthur agreeing to this is like a dad saying "okay fine we'll go to mcdonalds🙄"

no reward without risk✊💥

"we're in the lion's den already" "it is a hag's womb👹" HEHEHE

HAHA SILLIES HEHEHEEHE🤭🥰

oooohh johnn 😶‍🌫️

OH 😦 ohhh 😀 u have his memories

clever girl

"thanks yorick😐" "you too my king🤗" "shut up🙄👹"

yorick is so me absolutely no sense of social cues

ofcourse we'd encounter a witch here it was so obvious

"try to keep straight" pff

did john say im serving

hey yeah maybe dont go towards the light😀

LMAO LOOK AROUND? foul

when is the jumpscare happening

i have no idea what he's saying

"too much to make out" MAKE OUT?🤭

LMAO he doesnt know

pregnant meat☹️⁉️

hey i thought asking the vanguard questions would have a price🤨😀

imagine if he just crushed that zombies skull like its a good thing we just decapitated him

hes literally describing my room

you're my eyes☹️

they're acting as if the lighter would give us much light

omgg shes a little interior decorator

tapestry lore!!💪

five minutes left whats gonna happen

wuh ohhh somethings gonna happen

THE STAIRS ARE GONE!!!😬

ur literally in her home leave her alone

his ass is panicking

this is so part 18 the madness

we're trapped :( :(

"ingenious decision king🤓" "SHUT UP👹"

SPRINT!!!!!! 🏃🏃🏃🏃

OH???? 😦😦😦😦 WHAT

IMPALED???M???MNFJREJSJ HUHH

--

omggg he got marcy'd

i saw fanart of this but i lowkey couldnt tell if it was a spoiler or not💀

hot take but if he got bitten by that zombie he could prolly survive this

HUHHH bro this is like part 27 the roots. he was less dramatic about it this time tho

bro yorick finally shut up💀

sooo where did he get impaled. like if in the heart hes cooked😬

[straycalamities]

12, 16, 17, 1 for entre 8)

OOO THANK U SO MUCH this is gonna be fun

12. Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

ohhhH HO HOHO Yeah

in mainverse he has that whole...icarus thing going on what with his business DESPITE seeing how its gone poorly for other once-lers and seeing the warning signs from his own situation as well

it's also in the whole...substance abuse thing he's got going on. i know i don't show it because i want his main blog to be more relatively Family Friendly, but it's a thing.

in truffula flu it permeates almost everything he is. despite how much he tries to do good and Fix things and Make Up for his Big Mistake, deep down he finds...comfort in the misery. if he's miserable, if things are terrible for him, then that means he's suffering and that's Good because then people can't be mad at him. he's already suffering, isn't that enough? you have to pity him a little bit if he's feeling so visibly terrible. he also just straight up always feels like he deserves everything bad that happens to him, despite if he says its not fair or whatever, he's just whining. he absolutely, in his bones, believes he deserves it

so he keeps that going even if most of the time it really isn't a conscious choice. he doesn't know he's doing it, but he is. he sabotages conversations with others (sometimes whole relationships), he latches onto the Worst Possible Situations and Hypotheticals that his brain feeds him, i mean he does it in a literal way with his (sorry self-harm moment) scratching off the top layers of skin with his nails thing he does, (self-harm moment over) anytime someone hands him a cigarette or alcohol he just takes it

somehow he manages to simultaneously be the guy clawing his way to the top of the hole he's in but also be the guy that's knocking dirt back down on top of him

16. What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

not great to be honest

in mainverse he's a big ol baby about pain

in truffula flu he's been in enough pain to sorta build up more of a tolerance? but it's still not good. However, comma, he is mega stubborn so even if it hurts like ass he's gonna try to do whatever he needs to do and not succumb to it, even if that means crying like a baby and being pathetic just to cope during it

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

IS THIS ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO GET ME TO SPILL THE BEANS ON THE RETCON

WELL IT WONT WORK especially not now that i have this New thing planned

but it's definitely that. like official-story-wise. it is That. teehee

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?

in mainverse i'm not actually sure....he has a bunch of suck-ass memories but for him to just pick ONE to wipe? hmmm...

it's probably something embarrassing as hell he did at an event or something. like those things rich people throw together, he probably got sloshed off his ass and did something really stupid that when he remembers it it makes him want to crawl in a hole and die from embarrassment

in truffula flu..man.. well refer up to 17 for one. LMAO. there's lots of things also that HE did he'd rather forget. like most of the shit he pulled at the hardware store, for instance

i think actually he'd rather forget the stuff HE did to people, though, more than what was done to him. even if he knows it won't undo it, i think that's why. because he can't undo what he's done so he'd rather just not dwell on it. and would rather remember the shit that was done to him because otherwise he's just gonna have all these...Issues and Trauma symptoms and just not remember why the hell he does and that would suck

[blindmagdalena]

hii, not extremely well versed in all your writing (yet), but so far w what ive seen w the cannibalism fic & how u write homer (lol), i must say i love how beautifully u intertwine his violence w romance, w how u write him, it's like his egotistical macabre nature & need for love r making out lmao! feel free to ignore this part bc praise shouldn't feel like you owe the praiser anything, but id love to see something from you, anything of any length, w homelander x a y/n who loves how creepy & macabre & scary he can be! like, they're gothic romantic sorta? like "oh, you can hear my heartbeat? tell me if the gushing in my arteries differs when i am around you! go into grave detail please! i want to peel the skin off your body and claw around inside of you too to see what makes you tick!" lol, maybe he sees them in black & is all "wowie, finally decided to kill me and you're getting prematurely ready for my funeral? well, nobody can say you're not a multitasker! how very feminine of you!" "no because if you died id want to be buried next to you!" "oh, i see!" "even if i was still alive! :D" "wow! well, morticia/gomez, you're... intense! i like your... prep! your... uncolourful enthusiasm!" lmfao. he tries to return it by trying to give them weird compliments in turn that fit w them; "don't you look like the most dolled up, prettiest corpse in the mausoleum in all that black make-up!", he sees them blushing or something & he's like "look atcha, blooming up likeeee... a bloodied bouquet of rose!trying to make my heart stop or something? least you'll be sittin real pretty on my grave huh?" he's like that meme that's like "my hot witch girlfriend" & him in a summoning circle like "me doing whatever tf she wants" but he's also a freak just a blonde one. dude is the star-spangled superman & a celeb who should be dating models and yet he's like hiding a heart shaped necklace under his suit that's like a preserved vial of their blood lol. i feel it'd stroke his ego in a different way where they also love how weird & freaky he is, yet in contrast they're not violent or harmful w their love for gore or whatever themselves, for them it just bubbles up into a deeper way to express love & their own self expression. i also wanna recommend "the horror of our love" by ludo if u dunno it, feels sort of fitting for how you write him! "i want you stuffed into my mouth, hold you down & tear you open, live inside you, love id never hurt you. but ill grind against your bones until our marrows mix, i will eat you slowly"/"the awful edges where you end & i begin, inside your mouth i cannot see, there's catastrophe in everything i am touching as i sweat & crush you. & i hold your beating chambers until they beat no more, you die like angels sing" :p 🖤

first of all. calling him homer made me scream. 😂 second, thank you! this is so many words and they are all very kind and fun. I think currently the fic I've written that's closest to this premise is Don't Fret, Precious (I'm Here) which features a reader that's ultimately pretty into his whole deal, and fairly deranged herself.

I definitely want to write more macabre readers though, and I love this gomez/morticia angle you're talking about. I've had a WIP in the wings for ages where the reader herself is a serial killer that Homelander catches, but ultimately decides to cover for because he's intrigued by her bloodlust. it's very much a yandere x yandere. it doesn't fit into the idea that the reader is harmless, but... fiction is fiction, right? no one's really hurt! lmao

also, Ludo is one of my favorite bands!!! I actually almost named this fic "The Horror Of Our Love" but ultimately decided "The Horror Was For Love" suited it a little bit better.

as you've accurately deduced I definitely love mixing elements of romance and horror. you have very much inspired me to step up my game and return to that serial killer fic, and maybe something new featuring more of an oddball reader that really throws Homelander off his game.

thanks again for the lovely message. 🖤

[bombshelllblonde]

heyyyyyy im backkk!!!!!!!

invading ur ask box again lol, sorry!!!!!!

this might start being a thing

ANYWYAS

i totally forgot to mention last time hiw muvh i love lenny, mary-beth and hosea and tilly and MOLLY O SHEA omg

the drinking mission w lenny is one of my favorites, and I LOVE PLAYING DOMINOES W TILLY MY GIRL SHE IS THE BEST

AND SADIE I LOVE HER SM

Like yea gurl!!!!! kill the o driscolls!! kill them all!! avenge ur pookie!!! rahhh!!!

Mary-beth and kieran are my blorbs. my pookies. my babbygirls. my schmookums

molly o'shea that woman that she is i love her so so so much

i feel so bad for her tho w her fights w dutch :(

speaking of dutch, idk i have like a neutral (slightly negative) view of him???

i dislike how he treats molly, and w how he treats mary-beth?? (inst dutch also like 40-50 and mary-beth like 20-smth? idk im probably rlly biased in this lol)

ALSO another reason dutch be chosing Micah the rat over what is his basically adopted son??

im definitely biased in this but wtv lmao

but he hasnt really done much so i dont hate him, but i dont like him either

moving on, do yk if theres any way to explore blackwater + south of it while playing as arthur? i wanna get all the dinosaur bones and legendary animals !!

i replayed the 'americans at rest' mission, yk w bill (i think) javier and charles at the bar (towards the beginning of the game)

its so fucking funny i cannot

arthur walks in, uses his amazing charmer skills (LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER) and then bill runs in, punches a guy therefore starting a bar fight, HERE COME CHARLES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, arthur gets his ass kicked and then kicks ass and nearly beats the guy half to death

yk when jack grows up and tells epople abt his dear ol uncle arthur that uncle lore drop boutta be CRAZYYYY

did i mention charles throwing a chair? its my favorite part could you tell

i have a pretty neutral view of john marston ig, i kinda hope he steps up and gets the stick outta his ass, starts being a father to jack or smth but im trying not to get my hopes up lmao

thats it for now!!!! hope u have a nice day!!!!

(thanks for responding to these btw! lmk if im bothering u tho, ty for letting me ramble abt my hyperfixation lmao)

okay lsitennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn rdr2 has been mt hyper fixation since July of 2022 when my brother in law gave me his old ps4 and the game and i don’t think ive shut up about it since i started playing. My entire personality is rdr2. And my current outlet/therapy is writing my rdr2 fanfiction

it’s gotten to the point where my family has literally started buying me cowboy/outlaw stuff. when I was a teenager i loved owls so everyone got me owl things. now im obsessed with cowboys at 26 years old and every gift I receive has something to do with outlaws

My sister got me a cameo of Roger Clark talking to me as Arthur for my 25th bday and literally nothing has ever topped that. It was the most amazing gift ever and now I have a video of Arthur Morgan saying my name and talking to me about my horses!!!! It’s so amazing I watch it all the time

unfortunately there isn’t any way to explore blackwater as Arthur unless you get like mods or something. the AI immediately roll up and the bounty hunters shoot him dead if you try to get into west Elizabeth

do you know how to play dominoes??? Literally ive only ever played 5 finger fillet in that game because i cant fucking play dominoes or poker bc i don’t know how

also Tilly is amazing just wait until later in the game. there’s a mission that really solidified the love i have for Arthur being the protective older brother

Dutch is sooooo complex and i think that’s why i love him so much. i won’t get too deep into my feels for him just yet bc i want you to keep going without me saying anything but once you get farther into the game we can talk about him!!!

Hosea and Dutch are literally my gay fathers. I love them so much. Their love for each other literally makes my tummy flip I love it so so so much

Also I’d let Charles hit me with a chair too, tbh. Love of my life

I never disliked Molly but I didn’t like her either, I think she’s just too much of a loud mouth. Felt like to me she could have not been in the game and it wouldn’t have changed much. Idk

And John’s complexity we can talk about after you progress a lil further. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything or give it away unless you don’t care about spoilers. But I’m just gonna stay quiet until you let me know 😂😂😂😂

[slashercult]

hello, lovely! <3 may i please participate in your tarot game? if it's still open that is!

[🕯 - what film couple is like me and my fs?] may i ask this one, please?

my details

i'm ss, and i'm a female. i'm attracted to males. i'm from india, [so bollywood fever lmao] so my favourite movie is a hindi movie— 'bhool bhulaiyaa'/'maze' lead actor akshay kumar, directed by priyadarshan. i like it because it's both, comedic and highly engaging! the suspense was very properly displayed and everything felt like it went in sequence, like dots connecting yk, not just jump around and then bam, ending.

if i had to recommend you a movie, it'd be 'pirates of the caribbean' or 'pride and prejudice'. i love kiera knightley's works in all of these films! and a last one—'the portrait of the lady on fire.' it's based on a gay couple, so it take it as you may, but i seriously love it so much! i don't even have a reason lmao i just enjoy it a lot! it's originally french, but has translated versions, and it is set in eighteenth century-ish france.

your fs

when i began thinking about your fs, i suddenly had this feeling to look up and first thing i notice is all the red and black in my room. i don't have a lot of these colours, and usually i don't pay much attention to the walls [who does when the living place is constant yk] so either that is their favourite colour or they really like to see that on you. i pulled cards with these things while thinking of your fs: 1] white carnations 2] perfumeries 3] capricorn, pisces and/or aquarius energy 4] the star tarot card 5] lashes fluttering very quickly, blue irises i feel they're an indulgent but practical person. someone of high morals and clear goals. i felt anxious too suddenly even though i was very calm while starting the reading, so they might be someone who gets worked up easily about things. they take others stress on their head, too. also, pretty lashes fluttering very quickly is the first thing i saw when i closed my eyes thinking of them—the colour blue appeared just after, but i wouldn't take it so seriously lmao i don't do tarot but the star card literally just kept throwing itself at me, like pick me, pick me. i personally tend to associate it with past life connections and changes that happen for the better. but once again, i don't do tarot so take it however you'd like! this may be a connection that enters your life suddenly. this person would love to take care of you and be with you. not do anything, they just like your presence is what i heard.

they remind me of this character from genshin impact—chongyun. just the personality, nothing else!

i hope this would be enough <3 i'm new to the practice and don't do it on a regular basis, but tried my best! i hope it's to your liking!

thank you for this cute game!

hello hello, first of all thank u so much for the detailed ask and im so so sorry about the late reply. here is some feedback for your reading, so firstly i think you are very talented and would love to do an exchange with you in the future if you would like! also funny that you mention the star card, because i think that is the only tarot card i have ever had appear to me in a dream. here is your reading, i really hope you enjoy:

bones and all (2022)

okay okay lots of stuff is coming, after reading the cards my brain just like automatically connected the dots and i think the bond between lee and maren in bones and all captures your relationship with your fs perfectly. i think you both may meet unexpectedly, almost like you weren't supposed to meet each other but somehow found yourselves in the same room with one another. they did something that caught your attention and you immediately get drawn to them (not because you love them or anything but because you think they seem interesting and fun). i think you both will become friends rather quickly, there are a lot of similar hobbies and there's just this energy that you both share that makes you feel seen in one another. i personally do not believe in love at first sight but i think that this is the closest thing to that because of how drawn to each other you are. your fs has a pretty cool appearance, they have poofy hair and wear beautiful clothing, i think they tend to wear more cultural clothes. there is a playfullness between you two, it reminded me of this one behind the scenes of this film. i'll put the link here. you both will become really comfortable and close with each other, and you can confide in them and they will do the same to you. some more things im getting on your fs is that they are kind of like a bear, they are serious about protecting those that they love, also they are just cute and gentle like a bear too. they have attractive hands and have a cheeky smile. i think they were kind of troublesome during their school days, like they would love to prank teachers, they also did well in school. some final details im getting about this person is that they enjoy drinking tea, often wear bandaids because they always end up getting themself hurt some way or another, and they have a very structured face. they enjoy reading and consuming horror related media because it fascinates them. i also picked up some charms for ya (i hope they resonate because ive never done this before): the color pink, maple leaf, mini elephant, and a finch charm.

[im-immortal]

yikes, ok, SO

i would first and foremost like to thank you with complete sincerity for RUINING my week. istg i started in for a penny, in for a pound on like, FRIDAY, and demolished all 480k words like a dumpster-diving raccoon on garbage night.

let me tell you, when i finished thirsty and realized that the next installment wasn't a sequel, i almost threw up. that being said, every gd word of hot girl summer made the whole thing so much more fun and painful and horrible and amazing, sooo... who am i to complain?

ik it's been about a month since you updated—and a few scattered author's notes might suggest i could have to wait even longer—but i want u to know that i will be screaming, crying, throwing up while waiting for your next chapter😭(no rush tho 👀)

anyway, desperation aside, i noticed you use songs as inspiration a lot and i figured i'd share a few that have been running through my mind since i started reading:

-Alone- Heart (ik u got a thing for those 80s jams so LISTEN OK it's so them "til now, i always got by on my own/ i never really cared until i met you/ and now it chills me to the bone/ how do i get you alone?" pls i swear bethyl has ruined so many songs for me but ESPECIALLY this one, i mean come onnn)

-Wildest Dreams- Taylor Swift (don't lie to me, maybe daryl isn't a swiftie but i can tell you might be, on the DL. the whole chorus is so this fic, what with the romance they know has to end, desperately creating memories so the other won't forget them. and tell me this line—"someday when you leave me/ i bet these memories/ follow you around"—isn't SO bethyl. like, do the words "you're gonna miss me so bad when i'm gone, daryl dixon" mean anything to u??

anyways, that about sums it up. sorry for the massive ask, except not really because i need to let this all out somewhere, and seeing how it's all ur fault...

LMAO hope all is well and happy writing booface xoxo 😘

Well hot damn. I’m not gonna lie, I panicked for a second when I read the first line of this ask, and then it made me smile like a crazy person 😂

I deeply apologize for ruining your week (kinda) and also HOLY HELL, you read all that in a weekend??? Are you okay????

I actually am genuinely sorry HGS wasn’t a direct sequel, but I’m glad you’re still enjoying it 😅 as far as an update goes, I have like half of the next chapter written, but I’ve been having some health issues this month that put me into a bit of a mental slump. It won’t be much longer before I continue tho.

Omg thank you for the song recs!!! Yes, I am a slut for the 80s songs (they give me so many vibes for this series), and yes, you are correct about me being a low key Swiftie (cruel summer has become like my anthem for the whole ifap series, can’t wait for you to see where it ends up being included.)

This ask made my whole day so thank you thank you thank you!!!! 🥰💞

(ps: “booface”? I see what you did there 👀😂😂)

[kindred-spirit-93]

AIGHT THE REVIEWS ARE IN

imeda i love you this fic has bewitched me body and soul i legit am no longer able to can neo is whats keeping me sane atp thank u for making this i will never ever recover (wrote this as i was reading lol)

-

I MADE A MEME LMAO

odysseus what the fuck dude. step the fuck up. what the fuck >:[

--

“I would rather my son fade into obscurity than live a life like yours, rotten and vicious, remembered for nothing but the lives you took and the agony you caused." BITCH WHO DID THAT??? WHO??

"You’ll be remembered as Achilles’ son, who fought for less than him and destroyed everything he touched.” OH NO HE FUCKING DIDNT

the line neo spits to ody abt tele being the opposite of him bc he was untouched for 20 years fucked me up i hope ur happy

--

first telemachus appearance whoop whoop *bites him cutely*

also neo being absolutely whipped FROM HIS VOICE ALONE (he called him pretty 3 seconds ago but whatever) SENT ME LMAO

obligatory agamemnon slander lol. also i adore the post odyssey setting its genius its brilliant its everything i ever wanted in life and more. also odypen giggling over war plans has no right being this funny to me

HE CALLED HIM BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT *explodes*

squeaking like a fruit bat over here lmao my heart

"... acquainted" my ass neo (i love u). GET HIS ASS TELE AHAHAHHAH god i want to draw them so horrifically bad

THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. OH MY GOD THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. theyre married ur honour

imeda i had no idea neo was this fucking down bad for tele this is the funniest thing ive ever seen in my life neo is so angsty and brooding the whole time (and rightfully so lol) and then tele looks at him and hes like damn i no longer want to disembowel myself with the dagger (engraved with his faveourite flower/ plant) he gifted me

HNBHGNBHJMNBHJNHNHJMNH HE SAID THE F WORD (FRIEND)

lmao dinner with the in laws! odysseus get rekt

i need neo and deidamia shenanigans i think theyre both menaces.

LMAO NEO MY BABY I CANT. his dates training sessions with tele are purely to train him as the biggest fuck u to ody and not at all to spend more time with the crown prince. as one does of course.

all i can think of is tele as that one vine: i am NOT chicken little XD

--

argos!! idc what yall say he is alive and well and gnawing on the bones of suitors.

THE PALMS OF HIS HAND IM CRYING AND BEGGING U TO STOP ur so cruel i love u pls continue and torture him (and me) harder

neos PTSDyyseus (geddit?) is slowly killing me. cant wait to see how this plays out esp if tele does something that really strikes a nerve

ody: u just want attention, u dont want my sons heart neo: *throws his throne at him*

the love and a slit throat line is so raw and beautiful, something tells me its a favourite of yours as it is a maxim to neo lol

neo was really harsh and tele has unlocked 17 new kinks asdfgh. stop falling deeper in love with him its going to break u neo wake tf up

"He likes this look on Telemachus’ face. He likes the fiery determination, the indignation, the rage. He likes this Telemachus just as much as he likes the sweet one who could grow flowers with his touch alone. He thinks that not as many people get to see this Telemachus." god help me. my beans >:')

OHOHOHOOH "holding her close to him with a kind of desperation that Neoptolemus recognizes" FUCK

i think i remember a snippet of where neo says deidamia would gladly accept pyrrhus back, but neo was no longer him, and it still hurts to think of. well done u truly have a way with words and imagery that compounds the gravity of the situation and spins them into a morsel that loves to squat in the middle of your throat and make u feel things.

--

fuck i just got to the underworld bit and im sick to my stomach. fuck. *combusts in nonexistent daddy issues* *heals only to die again worse*

OH MY GOD. NO U CANT DO THIS TO ME. HOW DARE U MAKE IT WORSE neo now being scared bc his dad cared and he can no longer tell himself welp its not like achilles' approval mattered anyway. FUCK

“He regretted much in his life, but you were never one of those things,” WHAT IF I CRIED. WHAT THEN?

lol tele pulling if not his friend then mine shit. love that for him

polites?? polites in my neomachus fic?? america exblain. (no seriously pls im genuinely confused, didnt he die via zeus?)

--

in conclusion:

neo: *punches tele's nose* fuck you

tele: *bleeding profusely* i love u too

neomachus my one and only tether to sanity (and my moots ofc)

(fun fact i made this before getting to the part where neo actually punches him in the nose and ngl i feel great no one talk to me lmao)

--

also also while reading i was humming along to blue eyes and guess what im gifting neo lmao. its 17 times funnier to me now after reading bc they flirt by nearly killing each other.

anyway bless you eternally, tysm for writing and gracing my eyes and heart and nourishing my soul with this ship lol, best of luck in uni may u pass every exam with flying colours and eat ur favourite food always

givin u a bajillion kudos ao3 cant tell me what to do >:(

also fable and truth slaps lol like its such a great opening chapter title

HELLOOOO EVERYBODY!!!

chapter one of my neomachus fic, someday i know you’ll come to your senses, is finally up!! you can check it out HERE!!

[castroneves]

LITERALLY the only things I did today were watching sports (I woke up at 9:30 to watch tennis after going to sleep at like 6 because basketball) and binge watching criminal minds, I don't have anything interesting to tell so .. 1/ favourite track (f1 or any other Motorsport) 2/ past driver you would want to see live and 3/ do you have any pets (if you do I DEMAND photos) ❤️ it's 2:25 I can't think proper questions, sorry

honestly ur day watching sports is so valid but also i worry about you when i see you online knowing it’s like 4-6am over there LOL and omg i love criminal minds so much i used to watch it RELIGIOUSLY but i kinda fell out of love with it after hotch left... i dont think i’ve really watched it beyond season 11??? or 12 i don’t remember. i tried watching it all the way through again last summer but gave up at some point in season 12 because i cba to pay attention lol

thank u for the questions!!!!!! my favorite tracks hmmm definitely mid ohio sports car course, which is slightly biased because it’s my “local” indycar race that i’ve been to several times but it’s legitimately cool as heck. it looks like this and it’s quite hill-y and surrounded by woods, cornfields, and there’s a lake in there somewhere

also in indycar i really like the st. petersburg (florida, not russia) street circuit and the long beach street circuit. and in F1 i like singapore, mexico, and baku (and malaysia, i miss her so much)

past drivers i would want to see live: i really wish i got a chance to see fernando alonso during his glory days in f1 but i will hopefully be able to see him in the indy 500 this year!!!!! also jackie stewart v. jim clark

AND YES I HAVE ONE LITTLE DOGGIE (she’s a model)

[jondalars]

movies, tv shows, and books of 2021

((* is a rewatch/reread; currently watching; can’t get through))

Survivor (s17, s18, s19, s20 & *, s21, s22, s23, s24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, s34, s35, s36, s37, s38, s39, s40)

Bridgerton (s1)

Klaus (2019)

The Year of Spectacular Men (2017)

After We Collided (2020)

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier *

Flower (2017)

The Queen’s Gambit (s1)

Signs Preceding the End of the World by Yuri Herrera

Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol

Fjords Vol. 1 by Zachary Schomburg

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!  (s1)

Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer (s1)

Mr. Sunshine (s1)

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

What We Do In the Shadows (s1*, s2)

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson *

One More Time (s1)

To All the Boys: Always and Forever (2021)

Party Down (s1, s2)

We the Living by Ayn Rand *

Lost (s1*)

Love Island (s1)

I Care A Lot (2020)

Space Sweepers (2021)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller *

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo *

How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer *

Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo *

Exhalation: Stories by Ted Chiang

No One is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente

The Duke and I by Julia Quinn

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

Troy: Fall of a City (s1*)

Two Weeks Notice (2002) *

Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo *

Love Alarm (s1*, s2)

Eating Fire: Selected Poetry 1965-1995 by Margaret Atwood

Force Majeure (2014)

Nathan for You (s1, s2, s3, s4)

The Way of the Househusband (s1 & LA shorts)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (s1 & **)

Unreal (s1)

Why Did You Kill Me? (2021)

Modern Persuasion (2020)

Lords of Dogtown (2005*)

The Circle (s1, s2, s3)

Too Hot to Handle (s1)

Cheer (s1*)

Shadow and Bone (s1)

Strangers from Hell (s1)

Dawson’s Creek (s1)

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo *

Fake Accounts by Lauren Oyler

Next in Fashion (s1)

Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood

Saint Maud (2021)

500 Days of Summer (2009) *

Are You the One? (s1, s2)

Tale of the Nine-Tailed (s1)

The Woman in the Window (2021)

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo *

I Told Sunset About You / I Promised You the Moon (s1, s2)

Ragnarok (s2)

Ultimate Beastmaster (s1)

Bo Burnham: Inside (2021)

Word of Honor (s1 & *)

Bo Burnham: what. (2013) *

Dune by Frank Herbert

Because This is My First Life (s1)

Siddartha by Hermann Hesse *

Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (s1 & *)

The Water Cure by Sophie Mackintosh

I May Destroy You (s1)

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden *

Vampire Academy (2014) *

Guardian (s1)

The Girl in the Tower by Katherine Arden *

This Is Pop (s1)

The Winter of the Witch by Katherine Arden

Good on Paper (2021)

Broken English (2007)

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (s2)

Santa Clarita Diet (s1, s2, s3)

Silver Skates (2020)

Love O2O (s1)

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis *

The Wife by Meg Wolitzer

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

Beast (2017)

Bad Trip (2020)

We’ll Take Manhattan (2012)

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat

Prince’s Gambit by C.S. Pacat

Kings Rising by C.S. Pacat

American Royals by Katharine McGee

Majesty by Katharine McGee

Advance Bravely (s1)

The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis *

Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021)

Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021)

Fear Street Part Three: 1666 (2021)

Major Grom: Plague Doctor (2021)

Mo Dao Zu Shi by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu *

The Mole (s1)

Blood Red Sky (2021)

Deep (2021)

Tian Guan Ci Fu by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

Clickbait (s1)

Touch Your Heart (s1)

What If (2013) *

Two Night Stand (2014) *

Detroit (2017)

French Exit (2020)

School of Rock (2003) *

Level 16 (2018)

An Education (2009) *

Catch Me If You Can (2002) *

Ashes of Love (s1)

Kolyma Stories by Varlam Shalamov trans. Donald Rayfield

The Possessed: Adventures With Russian Books and the People Who Read Them by Elif Batuman

Squid Game (s1)

Death and the Penguin by Andrey Kurkov

Fire on the Mountain by Terry Bisson

The Circle France (s1)

Frisk by Dennis Cooper

The Circle Brazil (s1)

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy trans. Anthony Briggs

Paradise Hills (2019)

The Guilty (2021)

Fleabag (s1*, s2*)

All Good Things (2010)

Instead of Tipsy Why Not Get Drunk (s1)

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion *

The Sundial by Shirley Jackson *

Nirvana in Fire (s1)

Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson *

Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton *

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) *

The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin *

Insiders (s1)

Persuasion by Jane Austen *

You (s3)

A Swim in a Pond in the Rain: In Which Four Russians Give a Master Class on Writing, Reading, and Life by George Saunders

Nox by Anne Carson *

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie

The New Guy (2002) *

Knives Out (2019) *

Midnight Mass (s1)

The Three-Body Problem by Liu Cixin

Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman

What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim (s1)

21 Jump Street (2012) *

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Love Hard (2021)

Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach *

Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie

You by Caroline Kepnes

Train to Busan (2016) *

Community (s1*, s2*, s3*, s4*)

The Martian by Andy Weir

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert *

City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennett

Mine (s1)

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood *

The Testaments by Margaret Atwood

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

Cannery Row by John Steinbeck

The Dark Forest by Liu Cixin

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

The Princess Switch 3: Romancing the Star (2021)

The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon *

Jingle All the Way (1996) *

Elf (2003) *

Death’s End by Liu Cixin

The Scum Villain’s Self-saving System (vol 1) by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Mo Dao Zu Shi (s1*, s2*)

Single All the Way (2021)

[satorhime]

ʚ HONEYPOT. ɞ

ଘ genre: fluff, comfort ଘ pairing: fushiguro toji x female reader ଘ from 呪術廻戦 / jujutsu kaisen ଘ word count: 2.3k ଘ beware: no real warnings, fushiguro toji’s third housewife arc, mentions of menstrual symptoms (cramping and fever), descriptions of menstrual pain, mention of birth control, a sprinkle of toji-typical cuss words, toji is a himbo in disguise, soft toji, he’s a little insecure now that he’s falling in love (took him long enough) lmao ଘ synopsis: it’s really surprising that when toji experiences you on your period for the first time, he is a manic cross between horrified and overprotective.  ଘ request: anonymous asked: im a sucker for husband!toji so if u don't mind, I'll ask for a fluffy oneshot/headcanon? where reader is on her period while toji here takes care of her :> please & thank u! ଘ notes: soft toji soft toji SOFT TOJI. writing fluff gives me the biggest, most active butterflies for this man ever. i was originally going to do headcanons but i’m too longwinded hehe, hope you enjoy <333 p.s. make sure to click the link for toji visual because this is how i imagined him the entire damn time LMAO. reblogs are loved  (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

 fushiguro toji is absolutely horrible with gals. 

sure, he’s good at sweet talking them into causing trouble with him in the dark but when it comes to being supportive, a shoulder to lean on when a woman’s tears start flowing in big, fat waves toji locks up, the grimace on his scarred features only making them cry harder. 

he also has a terrible habit, much worse than being a chain smoker: toji will downright scoff and call them a crybaby. to their faces. while they’re crying. 

but when you’re the one in pain, something in toji shifts. breaking down into the man you likely dream of him being before he can help it. not that he’d ever admit it to you or himself, but his corroded heart has a deep soft spot for you, his little wife. filled to the brim and overflowing with annoyingly pink, heart-shaped candies you probably put there yourself. 

still, it’s really surprising that when toji experiences you on your period for the first time, he is a manic cross between horrified and overprotective. 

after all, you don’t expect him to be caring. 

but toji wakes up to the sharp sound of a pained whimper somewhere in the apartment as soon as he hears it, heavenly restriction giving him sharp ears. usually, it’s the light bleeping of that annoying phone game you’re obsessed with lately or you kissing his cheek before heading to jujutsu high that wakes him up every morning so the sound is new to him. 

cracking one eye open just enough to roll his annoyed gaze to your side of the bed, he finds it empty. the sheets cold, but neatly made. figuring he should make sure a curse isn’t picking your bones in the kitchen, he drags himself slow out of bed. popping stiff joints as he yawns, bulging muscles stretched above his head. unhurried as ever as he reaches for his black tee he tossed before bed— to find it gone too. 

most likely on your body. 

“gotta be kidding me,” he mutters grumpily to himself, a rough hand shaking out the mess of his fringe as he peels open the bedroom door to pad into the hallway. 

only to collide hard with a smaller lump waddling out of the guest bathroom, wrapped head to toe in a plush throw blanket, his mountainous frame nearly bulldozing over you. 

“who the hell are you?” toji demands as he steadies you, pushing you away from his chest— not wanting to admit that you knocked a couple of years off his life by the way his heart speeds from being startled. the little lump in question barely glances up at him, but he still catches a flash of dark circles when the blanket shifts.

“oh, toji, i didnt know you were awake,” you greet him with a wet sniffle, void of your usual loving cadence and morning breath kiss for him. you simply give him an absent pat on his bare chest and then you’re off to the living room while toji’s slow brain tries to wrack up a reason for the cold shoulder, concluding with a sneer in his mind that she’s probably gettin’ ready to leave.

he will spit on his heart for making his chest burn at the thought.

his large body lumbers behind you all the way to the living room, a brow cocked in confusion as you crumble onto the couch like a broken thing, curling your knees up to your chest inside your blanket ball. your husband watches you close from the threshold to the living area and you wish he would go away— you don’t think you’re in the mood for the handful that is fushiguro toji when twisted pain wracks your lower belly, seizing your limbs as it spreads out to every nerve it can find. you can’t even move, it hurts so terribly. 

how fickle your hormones are during your period, to want the very man you spend most of your time missing to get out of your sight. 

“what’s wrong, doll?” he rasps out, voice still rough with sleep but he is concerned. of course, the moment he starts getting used to spending time around you and not disappearing for months, you decide to kick the bucket. “you dying on me?” 

he can’t see your face, but he can feel the irritation burning holes into his thick skull that rivals his terrifying glare.  “no, you idiot,” you snap and his expression clouds over with his own irritation at you for treating him like he’s stupid. it’s worth it, you think. “i’m just cursed, that’s all.” 

“what? you on that thing or somethin’?” toji stands there with an oblivious frown on his face that makes you want to wipe his existence from the earth, that stupid man. “i thought you don’t get—” 

“i don’t feel like explaining it to you, toji.” oh, he must be rubbing off on you because you sound exactly like him in that moment when you growl your words at him. voice gruff and all. obviously nothing is out here trying to eat you, you’re the foe. he should’ve stayed asleep. “my periods are heavier now because i stopped taking birth control, god.”

anger would’ve festered in his chest at your attitude with him if sickening warmth had not bloomed there instead at your answer. he knows you’re in pain and it’s because of that one discussion the two of you had last month— you wanted a family. god, you’re turning him soft. he hates it. 

toji shakes his head and moves into the kitchen, yanking open the dryer to snatch one of his shirts from inside the drum. hasted in the way he throws it over his head. 

“‘right then, i got somethin’ to take care of. you need anything, doll?” he throws over his shoulder while passing the suspicious, angry lump under the throw blanket on his way to the door. 

“for you to go away, doll.” you bite back in response and toji whistles, sporting a smirk; maybe he loves your feistiness, a bit. but your emotions are shifting like the tide— you were so rude. what if he doesn’t come back? you hurry to uncover your head, tears fattening up at the corner of your eyes as you watch his retreating back, throat clogged. “w-wait, i didn’t— toji! where are you going?!” 

“away like you asked, brat.” he sneers, and then he’s gone. 

toji doesn’t actually go far, though. that something to take care of is a quick trip to the pharmacy a few blocks away from your apartment complex. the sorcerer killer is so tall that the top of his head snags on the dangling bell at the entrance and he spends too much time untangling it from his unruly mop of hair, a scowl curled on his scarred lip so severe that it makes the old ladies scurry away, much to his delight. 

why is he at a damned pharmacy? it was all because of that stupid app named after a ticking clock or whatever. you were scrolling through your for you page while resting your head on his lap one night, making moon eyes at the blond pushover on the video preparing a care package for his girlfriend on her period. 

toji has a habit of wanting to please you when he isn’t being a grump and this is one of those times. 

the assassin shoves his hands into his pockets, feeling out of place. cutting sharp eyes to the young clerk at the counter staring at him like he’s a serial killer as he shuffles by, squinting up at the signs until he finds the aisle that reads: 13, feminine care, family planning

he didn’t die in 2006 when he fought that sorcerer brat, but he is about to now. 

coming here was a bad idea. toji is not like the man on that video; he kills, steals, and gambles. he can’t be domesticated, like a feral wild cat. but still, seeing you curled up on the sofa like that, his wife in pain— he at least wants to try. 

narrowing his eyes, toji surveys his surroundings and what he finds horrifies him. 

the aisle is more intimidating than any enemy, fully stocked with an assortment of products he’s never seen before in his life, and this is a man who’s been married twice before you. pads, tampons, washes. bright packaging boasting wings, daily liners, overnight diapers. sporty tampons advertising that you could un-sink the titanic with them, they’re so absorbent. even washes that promise you’ll smell like a spring blossom if you buy. 

toji scratches the temple of his skull and promptly reaches for the first thing that catches his confused male gaze. 

“those are known to give women nasty yeasties,” an amused voice points out to him, his head dragging around as his scowl deepens over being interrupted. 

“the fuck is a yeasty?” he deadpans, staring at the square package of pads in his big hand. he wants to leave so bad, but you looked so fragile and there was nothing he could do besides this so… “well?” 

one of the little old ladies who didn’t run away when he entered the pharmacy is standing next to him, barely reaching his elbow. big smile pulled over wrinkled lips. “a yeast infection, handsome lad.” 

huh. well, damn. 

toji pointedly ignores the woman, but he shoves the package back on the shelf anyway.

“do you need help?” she asks kindly and the assassin rolls his eyes. this is why he doesn’t do nice things. “something tells me you weren’t sent here or you’d know what to get.”

“can do it on my own, can’t i? mind your business,” he flips off, rude and not taking his eyes from the shelf. what in the hell did you prefer? flexfoam? infinity? there’s sizes, too. what size is your— “fine, which ones?”

the woman smiles wider, irritating old hag. “get those herbal ones there if she has cramps, boy. it’ll clear them up in minutes! if she uses tampons, organic is the best way to go.” she explains calmly while toji’s mind shifts to a visual of you hiding under the blanket back at home, cramps paralyzing you in a steady state of pain so his gaze zeroes in on the pink product in front of him reading honeypot. he drags a pack off the shelf and tucks it in the crook of his arm. “whatever, thanks.”

toji loses track of how much time he spends glooming around the pharmacy, picking up things you probably won’t even like. by the time he finishes, his arms are weighed down with items and there’s a fine sheen of perspiration plastered to his forehead. he wastes no time leaving once he’s coughed up enough pocket change to pay at the register, though. eager to get the hell out of there and back to you— ahem, to make sure you haven’t croaked over, of course.

outside your apartment, toji is struggling .. sitting on the stairs and arranging the items into a cheap cardboard box the old woman gave him. inside are some of your favorite snacks— greasy potato chips, chocolates, brownies, fruity candies, and a protein bar— when did he buy that? whatever, it goes in too— along with some other essentials the old woman insisted you needed for a painful period. scratching his cheek, the display is nothing like the package the guy gave his girlfriend on the video. the box is plain, he accidentally crushed the chips, the chocolates are melted from being clenched in his fist for too long, and then he just threw everything in there haphazardly.

of course, he would manage to fail something as simple as arranging a box of snacks for his sick wife, he thinks bitterly, but it’ll have to do. he’s shit at decorating and that’s all you’re getting.

you perk up when the front door opens, peeking your head from under the blanket— even that slight movement shoots a hot jolt of agony up the length of your back. your eyes are rimmed red and puffy from your frustrated, pained crying. “t-toji?”

“you’re still living, huh,” he quips, one side of his mouth quirking up in a smirk. keys tossed on the coffee table as he shifts the box in his arm, tossing himself on the couch next. “get up, princess.”

“where did you go? i thought—”

“come on, up i said. got somethin’ for you.”

“you do?” you blow out your breath in a soft groan. pins and needles pressing down on nerves as you move; you feel so chilly, your fever high enough to turn your skin to ice so you clutch the blanket around your body and sit upright, a little closer to toji whose body radiates warmth like summer year around. the idea of a gift did excite you a little— you loved the knickknacks he would bring home for you, but that anticipation is drastically dulled in comparison to the nasty cramps throbbing across your hips right now. “i’m up.”

“good girl,” toji deposits the box into your lap without fanfare, awkward as his big hand reaches over to pat the top of your head. “happy birthday, i guess.”

“it’s not my birthday,” you reply with a weak smile, a tradition. you lift the flap on the box preciously, a peek at the items inside making your heart instantly warm with love.

surprise colors your entire expression as you exclaim a soft squeak, but to toji’s horror when your gaze shoots up to his face, your eyes are glazing over with tears again, spilling hot and salty down your cheeks out of your control. not again, you’ve been crying all day.

“for real? why are you crying— just take it back if you don’t like—”

moving hurts so bad, but you swallow it down to close the distance between the two of you. wrapping your arms around your husband in a hug, smooshing your face to his chest. “iloveyousomuchthisissosweet!” eyes wide at your muffled words and sudden shift in mood, toji chuckles a little. then he slides warm hands around your waist that makes you sigh, carefully tugging you toward him to be cradled on his lap; your face buried in his chest now and he doesn’t even mind it when your nose goo gets on his last clean shirt. he even makes sure you’re still wrapped up in your blanket, his little burrito.

“yeah, doll. i know.” the woman at the pharmacy gave him good advice, he thinks. toji moves an arm to reach into your care package, retrieving a bunny-shaped instant heat pack. squeezes the life out of the thing in his big fist until it warms to a scald against his skin.

“c’mere, princess. lady said this’d help with it all or somethin’.” toji grunts, moving the edges of your blanket apart just for a second, tucking the heat packet in between the band of your shorts and your (his) shirt so it won’t burn your skin.

you’re a grown woman, a jujutsu sorcerer at that— you don’t need anyone to care for you like this. you know it, toji knows it. it’s why he’s never worried about you when he leaves. but he still digs his hand back into that box, the protectiveness burning in his chest easing some now that your whimpers are starting to cease, the heat pack working its magic.

toji yanks out one of the chocolate bars he bought for you. splitting the wrapping open so he can break off a piece to nudge to your lips gently. “hurry up, this shit’s gettin’ on my fingers.”

you’re melting under the attention from your usually uncaring husband, eagerly accepting the square of chocolate. the burst of flavor is the perfect balance of bittersweet warming your tastebuds, momentarily distracting you from your bleeding uterus and the unforgiving cramps that travel with it.

his behavior would give you whiplash if you weren’t so in love at this moment, content to let toji spoil you rotten with head pats, cuddles and hand-fed chocolates— a special grade weapon against your period because your mood is slowly lifting.

you don’t even notice when you lick the chocolate from toji’s fingertips, that one little piece not enough to sate you.

“don’t gotta bite my fingers off, doll. there’s more.”

“then hurry up, you slow old geezer.”

“spoiled wench, y’ gonna pay for this attitude of yours in four more days.”

“if you keep feeding me chocolate, i’ll let you charge me for it in one.”

[iraprince]

hi i just wanted to say im genuinely obsessed with the way you draw thighs + hips + butts + the crotch region in general. thank you for your service and if you have any suggestions or resources id adore them

hi, thank you! i have a lot of fun drawing those bits so i'm glad the fun comes through :)

i can def take a crack at some notes on how i construct stuff, but especially with this general pelvis area i think a lot of how i draw it is very much individual stylization -- so what i'll go over is definitely not any kind of anatomy tutorial or step-by-step or anything like that, and i also wouldn't even really call these notes suggestions on how to draw this stuff. my real suggestion is what it always is, which is to get into anatomy studies/figure drawing first, then decide how you want to stylize starting from that foundational info! also, while i don't usually lean into this a lot in my own style, the musculature of the thighs is a lot more complex than you might expect, so it can be useful to look at more detailed anatomical diagrams in addition to just studying from models. but i hope seeing how i often do it myself is still helpful in some way!

so, for starters, and i mean this totally seriously: a lot of what i get complimented on in my art is stuff i specifically draw with horny intent, lmao. i'm not at all saying you have to be horny to get good but i think you get results from fun + fixation, because when you care a lot about the details and when you care about capturing specific stuff that you're excited about (in any way), that comes through in your drawings. so when ur deciding on how to stylize, pay attention to what little details about ur area of focus are really cute/interesting/appealing to you, and find ways to emphasize that!

honestly part of that means focus on posing as well as whatever you're doing with anatomy/stylization -- i have a thing i affectionately call the "ira neck thrust" that my friends are constantly calling me out for and it's basically just the tits and ass back arch that i'm so fond of. of course u end up noticing how i draw this area when i'm constantly drawing attention to it and making things cheesecake-y specifically to show it off, lol!

beyond that i think the summary of the rest of the notes is just to find ways to lay things out so that it's easy for you to place the shapes and details you want to stylize/emphasize. i like drawing thighs with pronounced upper muscle; i often stylize the lower half of the torso + hips with multiple repeating curves to emphasize that shape. i love hip creases and visual cues on how the thighs are moving, so i usually don't miss an opportunity to draw those in (and to pose/costume in a way that specifically shows it off, again). my anatomy in this area is usually so stylized and unrealistic that, while of course i make a lot of these decisions from a foundation of figure drawing, a ton of the actual impact/final look is just coming from style choices!

(i also only have time to throw together one example, but these things should still generally ring true for bodies of any type/size; "bony" landmarks exist regardless of weight and will show up on larger bodies as areas where tendons + muscle anchor to the bone, which can have a lot of influence on folds + the shapes of body fat, and it's always a good idea to study reference and decide from there how to stylize. "morpho: fat and skin folds" is a great anatomy book for this.)

i feel like this is all i have energy 2 throw together at the moment and it's so specific to how i draw that i'm not sure how helpful it'll be lol but!! maybe i will come back to this another day if i think of anything else. also i guess here is one final summary of why i think this method works for me