#thank u for sending the thing tho :^) ]

[ryllen]

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

[keii]

My Ride or Die~

[squea]

Just wanted to let you know that I'm still using soft eyes by squea and you can pry them from cold dead hands. I've explored other eyes options and none of them have been able to hold a candle to soft eyes by squea.

you......... when i get my hands on u.......

[bunnihearted]

<3

[cerealmonster15]

kiss marry kill crewel trein vargas

WHFJWKJFKLDSJF wait omg i gotta think about this one for a minute. i love overthinking these things LOL!!! hang on lemme try and make a case for them all, weigh the pros and cons before deciding...

so like im pretty close in age to vargas and crewel so that gives them a bias to the first two but fksdjfhsdj i do like trein 😔 i like how much he cares about his cat and his students and his daughters 🥺 hes been married before and it SOUNDS like hes had a pretty loving family relationship from what we've heard. i feel like that makes a decent case for marriage, also he's a cat lover and im a cat lover so tbh not a bad consideration. HOWEVER he is still old enough to be my father and has a more old fashioned way of life that i think maybe would clash a lil jkdjfskf

vargas is so funny but hes so stressful LOL JFKLDSJFSDLJ i'm obsessed with his vargas camp thing. like he's so nuts for that... taking the children camping and then kidnapping and hunting them for sport to train them or whatever the hell his plan was there. and roping crewel into the second one lol 😭😭😭 it's so bonkers but it's soooo funny. like i think he'd stress me out w/how fitness oriented he is (I enjoy physical activities and i practice martial arts but lowkey his fixation reminds me a little of my father and i dont like that association LOL 😬) BUT i do love comedy. so i could be swayed i suppose. maybe. jsdklfhsg

and then crewel is def very pretty but also stressful LOL DSJKFLSD THERYE ALL STRESSFUL this is the game about stressful characters after all. his temper scares me but i do like that he also cares about his students in those moments where it matters,,, i also think it's very funny that he was convinced to join vargas in hunting down the children in camp fjsdklhgds AND that he's partially responsible for beanfest Being The Way That It Is. i like whenever we learn teacher lore like this kjfdsjfkl this man was too aggro of a rebel and changed the course of the game or whatever. but also hes a dog person and i have learned in my life that i generally cannot live with dogs due to how I operate as a person 😶 but considering his whole THING is that he is a MEGA DOG LOVER AND. well i think he has dogs. i assume he does. i actually cant remember if he literally does have pet dogs or just makes that his aesthetic FJKSDJFKLSJFJ i think he does. i remember he and trein at least but heads over many things and one of them being cats vs dogs l o l. i like some dogs but they do not pair well with my sound sensitivity i think it would just Not Work jfksljfldshfg

this just tells me i dont wanna marry any of them LOL ☠️ i'd pick sam if i could, hes fun i like him 😔 FDSJKFJSDKLGH but i will play by the rules ummm um um ummmm.... i dont want to kill them either lol i like them!!! i do this any time my partner throws a question like this at me too lol im like okay hang on lemme lay out the facts and think critically about the situation 🤔 KJFDLKSHFLKSDJG

okay fuck it i think marriage goes to vargas. i was close to picking trein but even looking past the age thing i still think he'd be too ~old fashioned~ w/his mindset and i very much don't care for living life traditionally,, also i dont think we know how old his daughters are exactly except that theyre 'grown up' so theyre probably around my age tbh and that would Feel Weird dsfjlkdsgh everything else was nice tho i'm sorry trein. in another life i think i wouldve liked to co-parent lucius w/u 😔 i think vargas could be fun tho. he's sillystrange and i would perhaps partake in martial arts with him. i cant decide if he'd be too scary about it and brute force his techniques [which SUCKS and is NOT FUN when people do that!!!] or if he'd be like on top of having good form and doing it well skldfhsdklfj who knows....... BUT THIS AINT ABOUT THAT I NEED TO MOVE ON!!!!!!

and then kiss. if we are going fully superficial quota here then yeah my initial thought would be kiss crewel lol he's pretty what can i say 😔

I'M SO SORRY TREIN THAT JUST LEAVES YOU LAST IN THE KILL SLOT NOOOO AUGH i tried so hard to fight for him [??? fighting myself??? whatever LOL] bc i felt like it's too cliche to be like "idk hes old" so i wanted to give him fair consideration 😭😭😭 I LIKE HIM!!!!! I LIKE THE FACULTY!!!!!!!

anyway thank u this fully distracted me for like 30 minutes LOL um. who would u pick tho 👀

[nadekosnake]

neglected manuscript - Do you have a favorite novel?

from this ancient ask meme

LMAO NO!!! PICKING THE ONE I WAS AFRAID OF 💀 I could make it easy and lie but y’know what? We’re gonna be honest about this 🫡 Gonna be LONG bc I have 1) not talked with about this in any capacity with another human being before and 2) a pretty complicated relationship with this book 🤕

Content warning for CSA 👇

This is difficult partly bc I do love a lot of books but partly bc I don’t like to reveal my actual favorite book… I genuinely worry people will perceive me in a very negative way LMAO. My favorite of all time is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 😶 It’s the book I’ve reread the most in my life so far and it is genuinely one of the best written books I have read 🤧 I think generally people are like 😰🤢 when you drop a bomb like that what’s typically supposed to be a light-hearted convo so I usually will say something else! Typically my safe answer is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (which genuinely was my favorite book at some point in time, we are not going to dive into this right now).

(A disclaimer as I talked about Lolita fashion before, I am aware that the fashion gets its name from the novel but that’s where the relation ends. I like Lolita fashion because I’m a loser that likes subculture fashion and not because it has the same name or any other connection to the book. That happens to be coincidental. I am staunchly against fetishization of the fashion ok thanks! 🙂‍↕️ back to the program!)

Brief summary for those who need it: Humbert (the narrator) is a scholar and a secret pedophile, who one day meets the Haze family for a home stay. He obsesses over the daughter, a 12 year-old girl named Dolores Haze, who he personally calls Lolita. Humbert marries Ms. Haze to be around the real object of his obsession. Through unfortunate events, he ends up Dolores’s sole caretaker. She lives with Humbert’s constant sexual abuse that spans a cross-country roadtrip, but eventually she runs away with the help of another pedophile. Unfortunately it is not a happy ending. Despite Dolores’s escape from both pedophiles, she dies before she can rebuild a normal life with her future family.

The first time I tried to read it, I was too young (around Dolores’s own age 🫥). It was recommended to me by another middle school girl! God knows what the fuck we were doing back then LMAO but the girl who recommended it to me said it was a love story. Older man girl our age whatever. Tbh when I started it I understood that it wasn’t a love story… and I couldn’t finish it because of how uncomfortable it made me. I reread it a handful of times between middle school and uni with varying degrees of success, and I only really started to grasp it when I reached uni. I do think I was entirely too young to read the book or even understand it, and thankfully it was not used as a tool to manipulate me. It was a dicey time tbh. When I was growing up, there weren’t communities of young women that centered around accepting Dolores Haze as a victim.

I think there’s a disclaimer for those you haven’t read it and think it glorifies CSA and pedophilia. It really does not. Nabokov himself was a victim of CSA and did not condone it. I think that the #1 thing that movie adaptations and pop culture struggle with is that people believe the narrator point blank. So the adaptations all have this horrible romanticization of the story at their cores. People even struggle with understanding the book because the narrator is an Educated & Scholarly Man who is like ✨I’m a poet I’m a sensitive soul and we poets just believe in love✨ like NO!!! The whole point of the story is that he is an unreliable narrator!!! The narrator is a murderer, rapist, kidnapper, and if you’re actually paying attention you see it all with your own damn eyes! And of course nobody really does pay attention! 😭

So like, why is this my favorite? This is also complicated LOL, but I think that there’s a couple of main reasons.

Ultimately, to me, the novel is a puzzle that Nabokov invites you to solve. You have an unreliable narrator, but he’s an excellent manipulator. I think a lot of people lose “the game,” so to speak, the first time they read the book because the narrator is so good at making you see only what he wants you to see (he loves her, he’s just a nice sensitive guy who lost his first love too early, he’s doesn’t mean to hurt “his” “Lolita,” she “seduced” him, she “makes” him do horrible things to her, etc). It is written so well, and since the character himself is a professor and an intellectual, I think it’s easier for folks to let their guard down and to literally be tricked. Genuinely speaking I struggled with what to believe too, especially as a child. The only reason I didn’t buy into the “love story” bit was because by some intuition, I was aware that something Bad was happening despite the narrator’s insistence that it was all good. Tho I could not pinpoint what it was at the time.

But once you break past the facade and you’re fully paying attention the novel, it is like two stories in one. One hand, poets romantics in the name of love blah blah blah, but on the other hand? Dolores is a girl from a broken home, who’s mother is murdered by a man that wants to rape her. She’s kidnapped and shows clear signs of abuse (triggered by paternal affection, cried herself to sleep every night since the abuse started, bouts of disassociation, extreme rebellion towards Humbert, etc). Some of this stuff is actually glossed over by the narrator, but signs of a whole other part of the story are literally right in front of you if you’re paying attention.

For example, there’s a single line about Dolores’s mother, Charlotte, where she reveals in a letter to Humber that both her first husband and her youngest child (Dolores’s baby brother) died. And the narrator does NOT give a rat’s ass about this woman or her woes so it’s never talked about again. It’s whittled down to one single dismissive sentence, and I missed it tons of times. But knowing that, it makes sense why Charlotte acts as she does, why Charlotte and Dolores’s relationship is fraught. And why Dolores acts as she does at the beginning of the novel. Literally the Haze family is going through extreme grief with barely the emotional resources to process a double death in their immediate family. Without that context though, you’re just going along with whatever Humbert wants you to believe. You don’t see who Charlotte or Dolores are as individuals. You miss a chunk of the truth. And that’s literally just one of the smallest instances I can think of. There’s so much to dig through both directly and in between the lines. Nabokov is so deliberate with his writing and so extremely detailed that there’s a LOT of things that are easily missed unless you read it multiple times. This shit is so detailed, there’s scholars dedicated both to Nabokov and to Lolita the novel.

I think the last big reason I keep coming back to it is because I think it’s something so deeply rooted in society, you never really live without Lolita. The book has been bastardized to hell and back because most people, especially those in power once again, Do Not Understand how to read this book. So we’re left with not necessarily Dolores Haze, but this enigmatic “Lolita” the abstract figure of Humbert’s delusions. She is so influential, we all live our lives with her whether or not we’re aware of it. Coquette aesthetic? Lolita. Lana Del Rey? Katy Perry? The Police? Lolita. Marc Jacobs? Carven? Lolita. Vladimir? Excavation? My Dark Vanessa? Lolita. Heart-shaped sunglasses? Lolita. Butterflies??? Yes, Lolita. You can even go so wild with the connections to the point of bringing up the goddamn Lion King (animated 1994 version, Scar is voiced by Jeremy Irons who played Humbert Humbert in Adrian Lyne’s 1997 adaptation).

And it’s this constant reminder, every day. You pass by her on the Internet or in an ad while you’re out and about. She lives in the shadow of your acquaintance or your loved one. She haunts everything in a very real and literal sense. I think that’s what keeps me coming back to the book… even if I wanted to forget about her, I don’t think I ever really could.

[starheirxero]

☆xero youve done it again and by "it" i mean beaming secondhand character information into my brain thru fandom osmosis (positive connotation) (i need to drop gabriel ultrakill down a flight of stairs) First it was tsams now its silly religion robot game. i still dont know half of whats going on but you're so correct about characters always. thank you for your important and irreplaceable service (positive connotation) (i need to drop gabriel ultrakill down a flight of stairs)

HELEPHAJAHAJA YEEEESSSSS MARA THAT OVERJOYS ME ON SO MANY LEVELS OH MY STARS. Gabriel ultrakill DOES need to dropped down a flight of stairs. In fact Ultrakill even says that all angels love it when you fling them down it as hard as physically possible, trust me, my dad is the CEO of New Blood Interactive 😁

[sga-owns-my-soul]

🖤 Excuse me! I would.love to hear more about Albertan Rodney if/when you are so inclined. Xxx

oh boy i am SO inclined buckle up bc i have some THOUGHTS about this!!

okay so i'm from alberta, born and raised, and i have literally been thinking about rodney being from alberta since the first time i watched tracker at like 11 years old. if you're not aware, alberta is a VERY redneck/conservative province, i refer to us as americas 51st state bc so many people here have a lot of Conservative Capitalist America Views. as one of the oil and gas capitals of the world, there is a lot of people who work on the oil rigs (everyone here (that i grew up with) calls them rig pigs, and i can 100% see rodney calling them that) especially in fort macmurray, which is located in the middle of the athabasca oil sands.

and like don't get me wrong there's a lot of great things about alberta but it's too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer and imagine you're a genius who's smarter than everyone around you by the time you're like 8 years old and you're just. Stuck There. stuck surrounded by people who think fossil fuels are the end all be all of power technology. surrounded by all these narrow minded people stuck in their ways and incapable of looking forward towards the future. he probably couldn't WAIT to get out of there the second he could, and i have no doubts he did

but i also think he gets, like, weirdly nostalgic for it? alberta is a fucking BEAUTIFUL province it's literally so fucking breathtaking and we have everything. we have mountains and forests and plains and grasslands and badlands, it's so fucking diverse and despite all its problems (so many problems), you can't help but look around sometimes and think "i am damn lucky to live here." i can just imagine rodney going to different planets and just taking a second bc whatever world they stepped onto looks /just like/ that provincial park he went to as a kid. or that picture of a mountain range he saw at school every day for 6 years. or some other vivid memory of where he grew up (it helps that they filmed in BC so it's not that much of a stretch to be like this literally looks like somewhere he's been before)

i also think there's a lot about being albertan that he hated as a kid but as an adult, specifically with his team, he's more inclined to miss. like obviously some things he shared the second he could (maple taffy was the first thing on his requisition list when they reconnected with earth and you cannot tell me otherwise. it's also what him and ronon first bonded over you can't tell me otherwise for that either) but certain things (like going to Edmonton or Calgary for Vacation bc that's where the Things To Do are, or maybe Banff or Jasper if you're feeling Touristy/Outdoorsy) that seemed so terrible for whatever reason as a kid seems... endearing almost? and especially when ronon and teyla start talking about athos or sateda, rodney just feels like he wants to share too, share this part of himself with his team that maybe he didn't always like but. it's part of who he is, it shaped him, and as awful as it was at the time maybe he wouldn't have pushed himself as hard as he did to get to where he is now. he worked and worked and worked to get as far away from that stupid town as possible and he literally went to another galaxy to get away from it and he ran right into the family he didn't think he would ever find (no that's not projection shut up)

wow okay this is getting long so i'll end it here but yeah i have Thoughts. about rodney mckay and how he definitely absolutely 100% grew up in alberta! thanks for the ask i hope this answer satisfies you

[izloveshorses]

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

omg i have so many of these it's embarrassing!!! i can't remember what i've shared on here but.... i want a dimya rogue one au so so so bad.

listen. it would only appeal to Me. the overlap is so narrow lol. but god.... god it would hit. i think i wrote a tentative outline of what it would entail but never wrote out any of the prose and idk if i want to put in the effort, frankly bc writing in the star wars universe is a little daunting asjdhfk. i think there are like some minor details that i'm struggling to make work in my mind and then i start to think i'm just forcing an idea only i would be interested in reading. but overall... it would work.

anya would be the daughter of a former senator and she witnesses her parents getting taken away when she's very young for reasons she doesn't understand, and then she hides with her grandmother (who plays the saw gerrera role in this), but then eventually ends up alone and fighting for herself on the streets. dmitry would have to be a bit of a blend of han and cassian i think-- he's got the cold detachment and self hatred that cassian does (<3) but he is also a silly goose, so. han. he was a smuggler/forger but then was recruited and now works for rebel intelligence, his father was a separatist. he doesn't follow protocol very well but he gets his work done so they tolerate him lol. and vlad would play the role of k2so <3 and gleb is of course krennic/space javert, a middle management officer with a new promotion

i think to me why i want this to work so bad is bc, thematically, what these stories say about identity and purpose are so similar. jyn and anya are both so scrappy and desperate for something to hope for, i feel like that would mesh well. and their stories are so tied to the concept of identity and home (!!!!!!), the scene at the end where krennic (gleb) asks her, after encountering her so many times, and jyn (anya) stands taller and embraces her name,,,, it's so similar to the still/neva flows reprise it makes me so crazy !!!!!!

and god, the romance. two people who are very lost and have lost Everything,,,, somehow find each other. and though they are typically slow to trust and are used to betrayal they meet each other and it's just like. they know they can trust this person, somehow. "trust goes both ways." and don't even get me started on the "I'm not used to people sticking around when things go bad." "Welcome home." exchange,,, i will go crazy. and they inspire each other to be better and there's that spark of hope again and for once they're not surviving they're actually living with purpose again.... it's so good. it's so dimya, thematically. "the mirror hurts" etc etc. and on a less serious note there's the complete disregard of personal space, the mindless and comfy touching, the arguing, and the height difference. it's got everything you could ask for.

so this is the fic i want... so bad. but it's been so many years since i originally had the thought and idk if i'm brave enough to venture into the star wars lore lol so idk if it will ever happen. but know this: it would be so good!!!!!

[cinnaminsvga]

zee exclamations anon here!!! thoughts on min yoongi recently? how’s your emotional relationship with the memory of such an icon of your youth? also how do you feel about the little guy lately? as an artist, does he linger still as a muse? as a person, is he a vase of love still? i was just listening to time adventure from the adventure time soundtrack, and this line “will happen, happening, happened, and we will happen, again and again, cause you and i will always be back then” made me think that past is eternal, and love that once were will forever be when it was, so, it made me think of how in young forever they say “as today’s me, i want this moment to be eternal, i want to be young forever” and how yoongi now says “i want to grow up together” and how it seems it’s different but i think is the same. cause you and i will always be back then. we will grow up together, cause we are already together, cause we were together, so we are young forever. i think hope is just a loooot of love. or i think thats what it costs. like in that paramore song 26 “reality will break your heart, survival will not be the hardest part, it’s keeping all your hopes alive, all the rest of you has died, so let it break your heart” i think youth is so hopeful, and its hard to maintain that much hope as you grow up. it’s hard to see things as you once did, or feel em as you did, cause your heart breaks and things happen. so “i want to be young forever” is just so beautiful, cause its aware of how precious all of it is in that unique moment as everything is, and longs to keep it forever that way, and yet, “i want to grow up together” is the most hopeful thing to say. we’ll happen, happening, happened. some things must change to remain the same. it seems unforgiving when a good thing ends, but you and i will always be back then. growing up is an act of hope. love is eternal. the song ends with “you and i will always be best friends”. so how do you feel it zee?

im gonna be honest anon the way i just went slackjawwed when i saw this in my inbox HAHAH love u and ur little song references its like getting a personalized web weave in my inbox so thank u

hnngnghhg ive actually been rewatching some of his suchwita eps because i miss the little guy... it also massively sucks that he isnt gonna be Around for a bit, but cmon i just wanna see his bald ass head... just give me some excitement in my life... yoongi save me

and yea ofc he lingers as a muse to me... he's literally my ideal type HAHAH its kinda hard not to reference him in anything i write. even writing for other fandoms, i cant help but yoongify them somehow... i just love men who love softly but care so deeply. and yeah perhaps i have yoongi on a pedestal inside my brain and yeah maybe the version i have of him in my head isnt quite accurate but like... ITS HARD!!! NOT TO LOVE THE LITTLE GUY!!! AUGHHGDHG HES MY BEST FRIEND but not like /parasocial more like "hes my childhood imaginary friend that held my hand on the first day of school" sorta thing. he's a part of me, whether anyone likes it or not!!! like a parasite but its kinda awesome even though i think he wants to kill me sometimes. we could be like venom or something (idk never watched the movie).

kinda like how every interest ive ever had in my life kinda never leaves,,, it waxes and wanes but like at the end of the day, a lot of the stuff ive grown to love and maybe forgotten still keep a place in my heart. yoongi is my youth, and i choose to live youthfully for a long time. like ive said before, youth and love and all those sorts of things... its a lifestyle. time destroys so many things but those two stand against its claws. IT IS WHAT IT IS!!! BUT BY GOD, LETS HOLD HANDS WHILE WE'RE AT IT!!! anyway love u anon

[satsuki-yumizuka]

🎶✨when you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 5 of your favorite followers🎶

[lrdvyke]

❝ why should i tell you my name? you haven’t told me yours. ❞ (hello!!!!)

A watcher, letting the events of Thedas pass him by in a comfortable silence. The land chooses a person, places them upon a pedestal to clean the messes of others, before it knocks them down as sure as anything that has grown too big, too fast. Vyke keeps it all in mind, but stays far from it lest he be swept up within the tide of its own change.

Ah, but is that not what he is doing now? So close to Skyhold. So close to the very tidal wave, daring it to yank him out to sea ...

He stares in that same silence down at the elf ( a Keeper, he thinks to remember ), someone who has been taken within the tides more than he has. There is a faint flicker of amusement that shifts within his pale eyes regardless, as his hands press upon a torn piece of bread until it is flat. ❛ You never asked for it, ❜ he says, a smile to his words despite no smile upon pallid features. A soft voice even if there is no helm now to muffle it. ❛ But I did. See? ❜

@dalishborne !

[alddente]

The beast.

[hmm-ctrl]

hi im doing doodle requests so send me asks >:] i gotta warm up + i dont have any ideas rn.

[doodlboy]

This was so silly I had to show you. Balance remains on earth.

Skdhskdhs ah yes, sploon yin and yang

[souloben]

aha...one of my eric gifs was used in some war-torn the little mermaid discourse tweets and it inspired me to reminisce on my tumblr giffing days and omg...it might not be something i can go back to now and that’s ok but it was so much fun owning and creating things for this blog