#thank u for giving me the confidence to do this daniel lol...

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

dan made me do it

(lol jk, but like i have Feelings(tm) about my sexuality and everything & figure this is the best time and place to do it...)

So I figured out I was bisexual a little over 5 years ago, after discovering it was a legitimate thing I could call myself whilst being on tumblr (2014 was a big time for lgbt discourse, especially in terms of the various terms and labels, most of which I hadn’t been familiar with...)... but tbh, I’d been trying to come to terms with who I was in terms of my sexuality for a long time

I grew up in a religious house (my parents were jehovah’s witnesses), but I never really remember anything vaguely homophobic being thrown around? And even if it did exist, I wouldn’t have been aware of it since I never had any question or doubt in my mind about the fact I was attracted to boys (I’d had a rly intense crush on this one boy for about 5 years through primary and secondary school... I still sometimes see his pics on facebook & u know what? I still would lol anyway...) my early days in school were mostly taken up by trying to get friends not be a total recluse (I’ve always had trouble making friends and connecting to people it’s no biggie it’ ss fineee........ ok carry on>>)

So going into secondary school I never felt that I was anything other than straight? But one thing I vividly remember was the way people in my year treated girls that were suspected to be gay... in short? they were seen as ‘dirty’... it was something perverted, and highly sexualised... (as in: being a lesbian meant masturbating a lot... (i mean: this says something about wider misogyny & demonising of female pleasure but like.. another time, another time) & also making out loads with other girls)...  like no one ever came up and said ‘being gay is wrong’, but whenever rumours spread about a girl being suspected as gay and they didn’t deny them, people would suddenly start whispering about them... & it’s super strange to me that this was the same culture that if two female friends were really close and got labelled as gay, but came out and were like ‘oh no we’re straight ha ha we just kiss at parties and touch each others boobs’ or whatever, people would be completely ok with it?

So I never really gave myself the opportunity to go into this... I was never comfortable enough to be super ‘close’ to any of my female friends (intimacy issues: we don’t have to to get into all THAT right now though lol ahahaha....ha...) & I knew I wasn’t so called ‘skanky’ like all the girls who were labelled as being actually gay...

& this was all happening as I found myself actually being interested in looking at girls... (like what can I say? boobs are friggin nice to look at lol...) But i always saw it as innocent intrigue, since I was only 11/12 at the time so hadn’t grown into my own at the time... and the fact I felt more comfortable being touched by or talking to or like literally doing anything with girls? it’s just cos boys are gross there’s no other reason behind it!!.... right?

I think a big thing is that a lot of girls are so open with each other... like they’ll compliment each other’s boobs or asses, or comment on how pretty they are or their makeup skills or whatever.. you’ll be hard pressed to find a girl that goes all ‘no homo’ on her friend except.... I feel like that was me lol? I remember getting compliments from other girls about my appearance (didn’t happen often though pffft) or anything really and feeling all mushy inside, and giving the compliments back felt like a big deal to me? idk I suppose all the warning signs were there that hidden under layers of introverted awkwardness was a lil bi demon just waiting to come out lol!

So yadyyada, 2014 happens and I finally realise I’m bi... I just remember reading something on here about bisexuality and being like ‘oh damn yeh... dat me??’... like it felt amazing to be able to finally accept that I actually like girls too?? & one of the first people I told was this guy I became friends with when I first went to college... & he told me he was also bi and I remember thinking ‘wow!!!!! so it’s actually real?! it’s not just something you see on tumblr from random strangers, it’s an actual thing people I know irl experience wowwowowow’... I also came out to another online friend who I was close to, and it felt really amazing... but I could never translate that into actually coming out in real life (not to mention life was kinda shit at this time and I had like 0 friends but hEY, that’s not for now kiddos lol)...

So yeh, I’ve never actually come out to anyone... not properly anyway... I’ve always been very open about my sexuality online, but in real life I’ve never really discussed it with ... anyone? & it’s not because I’m ashamed in anyway, and it’s not even as if I’m that scared I just... I’ve never felt the need to? But after seeing Dan’s video, plus it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, this is something I really wanna do... see; I was so ready to live life just being ‘straight until I maybe get a girlfriend one day’, so ready to only tell people if they ask me but I just realised... isn’t that partly living a lie? who I’m with doesn’t change my sexuality, so why is it something I’m seemingly so scared of declaring to the world??

I vividly have this memory, before I realised I was bi, and I have no idea of why or when or any of the details, but me and my mum were watching something, and bisexuality was mentioned, and either my mum agreed with, or she said something along the lines of ‘bisexuals are more likely to cheat’, and that’s really stuck with me.... it’s something that’s always nagging in the back of my mind, and it... really fucking hurts lol... I know for a fact my mum will love my regardless of who I end up sleeping with or whatever, she may be pretty conservative in her mindset of things but she’s always willing to be open minded which I really love about her... but knowing this inbuilt stereotype of bisexuality is something she both acknowledges and somewhat agrees with is really... sad...

I’m 21 years old, I’ve been in one relationship in my life which only last a few months and involved no kissing and only occasional hand holding because I was too terrified to do any more (again: subject for aNOTHER day lol), and I know for a goddamn FACT that my sexuality would never make me more likely to be unfaithful to someone I claim to love...I really hate that this is associated with the label, but it’s something I know that I am...  why on earth would I change that or try to be something else when I know that /this/ is me!

I think one of the biggest things putting me off ‘coming out’ is having to explain yourself... like dan howell made a 45 minute long video discussing his own sexuality and experiences cos he knew people wouldn’t just accept it if he just tweeted ‘yo dawgs imma queer lol #swag’ one day, and it feels kinda annoying that queer people/lgbtq+ people feel like we can’t just...... be ourselves without having to justify or explain it?! (even me making this post is solidifying that factor lol... it’s a mess lol)... like I just wanna live my life being bi, is that so much to ask for lol?

I am so so SO grateful we have so much more bi, and lgbtq+ in general, representation in media these days.... it’s goddamn beautiful to see our stories, and the stories of our community being told and cherished by millions, and that’s really gotta be something to rejoice in this pride month!!!

(side note: dan also talks about gender identity & I have literally never related to anything more lol... like 90% of the time I don’t feel like what people classify as ‘womanly’ things... but also I am a woman? idk man lol just call me a formless blob or whatever it was he said lol as a baby no one really knew if I was a girl or boy since my mum mainly dressed me in yellow & I had like 2 strands of hairs on my head lol... damn I miss those days lol)

In conclusion (or tl;dr as I’ve seen the Cool people write on their long posts (yes I had to google what it meant shhhh)):

Hi, my name is Xanthe, my username is ‘dangerliesbeforeyou’ here on tumblr because I made it 7 years ago and I wanted to use a cool sounding harry potter quote so I could come across as sophisticated but also nerdy, I’m a 21 year old female (mostly?) and I am a proud Bisexual...

I’m also single and very ready to mingle if anyone is interested ;;;;;;;;;)

(that’s only half a joke lol... plz romance me I’m v lonely)

[bsaka7]

16, 18, 20!

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Laptop exclusively... I'll write notes on my phone but all actual writing is on the computer. sometimes I'll do prompts on my phone. And I'll sometimes outline (more like... make maps of connections?) on paper. But the real stuff is on the computer. You can tell when I'm on my phone because it's evil stream of consciousness like this.

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

as a person... I very much do like research but I can get bogged down in it, you know what I mean? Like, I like things to be correct but I can't get too into it or I'll freak myself out. My coworkers dislike this about me but I HATE things to be wrong (if preventable) almost to a moral degree like I never want to give someone incorrect info.

with fic I'm willing to bend the contours a little more. It's like... How much research can I do so that I don't ruin the way I think about the fic? I operate a lot by asking myself: what do I need to do to make this easy for me? And getting myself worked up... Not the way. That being said, i love research!!! My next big fic project... I've already read four? Books for it? But it's all fun for me anyway so it hardly even counts so this is a nice balance for me.

On the other hand.... sometimes my desire for research leads things to languish (how much can I fake it? Scenes from an American artist was all faking it)... like i have a couple of different pirate au plots (thank u @kritischetheologie) and they would NOT be a long fic (under 15k easy) but I can't start writing because im like oh i don't know enough about pirates.

Of my posted fics... Idk probably echo of the future required the most because almost all of it is compliment with star wars universe trade routes and lore and stuff. EU of course and I didn't try THAT hard because there's a lot of fuckery. and I only watched one star wars movie as reference. Unless you count all the star wars content I consumed as a kid. Write what you know i guess?

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

This is kind of a funky one. I vastly prefer READING Canon to au's. I go back and forth on writing. I think... hm... I like the playing field of canon or real life much more. like the cards are all there. that's easier! and it's better for digging into relationships in some way i think...

But i can't deny it. I think aus are more fun. Obviously I lean toward the... fantastical in my writing this year (space au apocalypse au dragon au star wars au)... It's just undeniably fun to explore and come up. I am a pretty grounded person. I don't let myself think like that - don't let myself pretend I'm creative - outside of fic. But because it's already fic. I can knockoff Cormac Mccarthy. I don't need all the rules of Magic to be crystal clear before I start writing. It's okay to play in the star wars sandbox. So I like that a lot!!! I also definitely feel like writing au's (starting with the max/daniel fic taking some time even tho it's like pretty tame for an au. More Canon divergent) has helped me build confidence in my writing. So I guess the answer is aus are more fun to write even if I often like "what I'm doing" with Canon fics more. God i sound like I take myself so seriously (I guess I kind of do but LOL) but oh well hopefully this is vaguely interesting rambling ❤️

[bebepac]

Food Fail (Happy Birthday Robin! 2020)

This is the first time I’ve ever written a birthday Fic and it’s in honor of a friend of mine @dcbbw​​ !!!!  Happy Birthday my friend!!!!!!  

When I first joined the fandom back in January, when I was searching for fics to read, she was one of the first people when I searched that came across.   I started reading her stories.  When I wanted to  write my own, and was nervous and anxious, she helped give me the confidence to write. 

She’s a very talented writer, and is incredibly humble.  I am happy to call you my friend.  I really hope you have a wonderful day today. 

So I wrote this about a food you do not like.  SUSHI.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! 

I hope you enjoy it.  See what I did there.  LOL!!!!!!

I used my characters from Pops Place, as you can tell.

I also used @shitthepizza​​​ About Pizza prompt # 5:  “I am always in the mood for pizza,” which will appear in bold.

Jaiden Brooks is my own character, all other characters belong to Pixelberry. 

This is not the next chapter of Pops Place.  But it fits into the series.  To check out the series Pop's Place Masterlist

Summary:  Mia goes out with the gang for dinner.  

Warnings:  Profanity.  That’s pretty much it.

Word Count: 1202

Tagging: @queenjilian​ @bbrandy2002​ @indiacater​ @janezillow​  @islandcrow​ @mom2000aggie​ @gkittylove99​ @gabesmommie1130​ @sophie-and-shizuku​​ @kingliam2019​​ @queenwalton​​ @cordonia-gothqueen​​ @texaskitten30​​  @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​​ @queen-arabella-of-cordonia​​ @lodberg​​ @hopefulmoonobject​​ @kimmiedoo5​​ @sanchita012​​  @mrsdrakewalkerblog​​ @cordonianroyalty​​ @batgirlassociationofgothamcity​​ @hopelessromanticmonie​​ @marietrinmimi​​ @blueaster-blog1​​ @lovablegranny​​ @ac27dj​​ @classylady1234​​ @loudbluebirdlover​​ @atha68​​ @nikkis1983​​ @furiousherringoperatortoad​​ @sevenfuckslefttogive​​ @ladyangel70​​ @burnsoslow​​ @axwalker​​ @debramcg1106​​ @marshmallowsandfire​​ @choicesficwriterscreations​

Song Inspiration for this fic:  “Milkshake” by Kelis

https://youtu.be/pGL2rytTraA

I don’t own rights to the music. or quoted lyrics later on.  

"Hey if you want to, you and Daniel can meet me at Pop's and we can ride together downtown."

"Oh my GOD Jaiden thanks!!! I absolutely hate driving in downtown Raleigh with all the one way streets and parallel parking."

"But Mia, you seriously have the smallest car in the world to parallel park."

"It's North Carolina, not New York, no one parallel parks here, you pull in. I didn't have to parallel park for my driving test."

"Well I'm from New York and we parallel park."

"Well you go right ahead Mr. New Yorker!"

"Then I will show you how it's done Miss Southern Belle, after we …. He cleared his throat and continued in the worst southern drawl ever, “drink sweet tea and eat apple cobbler in the parlor Ma'am.”

Mia burst out laughing.  

“Shut up! You know I’m not like that, and I definitely don’t sound like that.”  

“I’m sorry, I can’t understand your dialect.”  

“YOU TALKING TO ME?”  Mia said in her best Robert De Niro voice.  

Daniel looked at the two of them bickering back and forth. He looked surprised. 

 “Hmmm… that was pretty good.”  Jaiden said to her nodding.  “You could get by in the city with that.”  

“Thank you.”  Mia flashed him a smile.  

“So, I'll pick you guys up around 6:20?"

"That's perfect."

When they were in the car.  She kept noticing Daniel staring at her.  

“Whaaaaat?”

“Um… so are you going to tell me what that was, or do I have to guess?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Girl…..“

“Daniel What?!?!?!”

“Are you and Jaiden a thing?”  

“Uh no. We’re just friends.”

Daniel gave her a look.

“I don’t flirt with my friends like that.”  Daniel raised his eyebrow at Mia again.

“We were not flirting.”  

“You two are definitely something-ing because, I could cut the tension with a machete.”

“Nuh uh.. It’s not even like that Daniel.”

“I’m just saying Mia, you need a theme song for this summer, and I got just the one.”

Mia smirked at him.

“Mia’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, it’s better than yours, damn right it’s better than yours, I could teach you, but I have to charge.”

“Okay Daniel.”  

“You better wear something cute for your bae.”  

“He’s not my Bae.”

“Okay, then he’s a friend that definitely wants to see you naked.  Girl, can I live vicariously through you this summer? Cuz you’re pulling all the men so far.”  

“Yeah and they all the winners,  “Drake: I have a long distance girlfriend, but yeah let’s hang out too,  and Liam: Mr. I’m pretty sure you did something shady to get me to look your way and discredit Drake but he screwed that up on his own.”

“And Leo: Mr. I have given you a nickname but no one else can use it, and let’s get you crazy drunk.”    

“Okay… already let’s get you home so we can get ready and get back for dinner.”

When they arrived  back right around 6:15, they pulled up seeing Jaiden leaning against his jeep.  

As they walked up to  Jaiden’s jeep she heard Daniel softly singing.

“La - la - la - la - laaaaaa… the boy is waiting….”

She punched Daniel.  

“Should I even ask?” Jaiden looked at the two of them.

“No you should not.”

He opened the door for Mia letting her get into the car. 

“Your jeep is nice.”  

“Thanks, it took me getting straight A’s and graduating 3rd in my class to get it.”  

“So you’ll be at Cordonia U in the fall then?”

“Why would you think that?”  

“Because you live in Prestonwoods.”

“Yeah, I don’t get all that you’re either Prestonwoods or you’re everyone else crap.  We actually toured both.  I liked Hartfeld better.  That’s where I’ll be this fall.”  

“Me too.”  

“Cool.”  He glanced in Mia’s direction.  Mia was wearing a red  dress and white sandals.  She looked really cute.  

“Watch and learn Mia.”  

Jaiden flawlessly parallel parked between two cars.

“Am I supposed to be impressed?”  

“You know what… I’m locking you in the car.  I’ll go enjoy dinner with Daniel. You’ll have air and sadness for dinner Mia.” Jaiden laughed.  Mia couldn’t help her smile on her face.

“Oh my god!!!!  Air and Sadness?!?!  I really like you Jaiden.  You put her in her place.”  Daniel chuckled.  “Mia needs a guy that is as funny as she is.”  

Daniel noticed them both stare at each other in silence.  

Yep… he thought… there are definite sparks there.

“I’ll get the door for you Mia.”  

“Where are we meeting everyone at? I’m starving.”  

“Sushi Blues Cafe.”

“Sushi…. As in raw fish?”  

“There are cooked sushi rolls.  Have you had sushi?”

“I’ve never tried it.. I like my fish fried and battered, with tartar sauce, and either lemon juice or vinegar, thanks to Pops.”  

“So I’ll get a Philadelphia roll,  it’s cooked  with smoked salmon, avocado, cream cheese. Most people who are newbies to sushi like it.  So I'll share mine with you. I’ll get two so if you like it, you can have your own.”  

When they got into the restaurant the only seats left were on the end of the table.  Daniel sat in the next to the last seat, and Mia sat on the end being left handed, and Jaiden sat across from her.  She noticed everyone else was there.  Hana, Penelope, Maxwell, Olivia, Leo, Rashad, Neville, and Liam.  No Drake.  He probably doesn’t do Sushi.   Can’t blame him.  They passed out menus.  Mia looked nervous.  She ordered a green tea, and when the server came back for her food order, she couldn’t remember what roll Jaiden said he was going to get.

“She’s with me,” Jaiden said.  “We’ll get two philly rolls.”  

She smiled at him.  “Thank you,” she mouthed to him.

“You’re welcome.”  he whispered back.

She stared at her plate.

She poked a piece of the sushi.

“It’s not going to attack you, Mia.”  

“And this is cooked?”

“Yeah.”  

“You’re sure?”  

“Yeah.”  

“Do you like spicy stuff?”

“Not really.”

“So that green stuff, stay away from that then. That’s wasabi.”  

“Ginger?”

“Meh…”

“Yeah, we won’t mess with that either then.”  

“So put some soy sauce on a piece.”  

Mia mimicked him.

“And just one big bite. Eat it.”

He popped it in his mouth and chewed.  

“It’s good, now your turn.”  

Mia did as he did.  She dry heaved.  

Jaiden almost fell out of his chair, because of the look on Mia’s face.  It was clear…. Mia was not a fan of sushi. Both Jaiden and Daniel both were roaring in laughter.  

“Chew it up, or spit it out.  Do something Mia!!!!”

Liam looked in their direction in all the ruckus they were causing.  Liam wished he was sitting with Mia, they looked to be having so much fun.  

Mia managed to swallow the piece of sushi.

“Want another then?”  Jaiden  asked seriously for a second, then burst into laughter again.  

“No thanks.  I’d almost would have rather had the air and sadness, you offered earlier.” 

When it was time to leave and the check was passed out, Jaiden paid for Mia’s share even though she didn’t really eat anything.

They walked  down the street together.  

“So… how about a pizza?” Jaiden asked.

“I’m always in the mood for pizza.”  

“Let’s go get you some dinner then Mia.”  

Mia smiled as Jaiden led the way back to his vehicle.

[alphaofdarkness]

not me here for the oc ask ! can't wait to answer the ones you asked me, tomorrow i have my exam and then i shall live again haha ! but now i'll ask you 1, 2, 17, 18, 19, 20 and 31 — i know, it is a lot ( you don't have to do them all 💕) , but i really want to know something more about your wonderful babies and Dany ofc ! I missed her sm during this semi-hiatus 🤧💕💕💕 hope you're doing fine, sending you lots of love 💞💕💘

@carmenio Edgy!! 🥺 so happy to hear from you! ✨ I love these kinds of asks, especially on my many, many OC babies! I hope these answers are good and interesting to thee! I’ll present more info on Dany to some way, some how cause I love her 😭💖

I have gone and included the other questions you asked as well! 🤗 Let’s dive in! 😳

1. Gone and Answered Here ! UwU

2. Do you have a personal favorite among your OCs?

Personal favorite is often shown in the one I draw the most lol, which for a long time was Danielle LWW, but just because she was also my wolfsona at the time. After I made my own personal one I think I went onto Sam for a good while, also eventually going to Dany from Bsd!

So a tie between two beautiful girls, Sam is definitely my favorite LWW Oc, she is just precious and the one I hold the most and most always feel terrible and bad when I put her through it TM. 

Also Dany is my self insert, U//w//U, she has definitely allowed me to slowly self love and allow me to appreciate myself, especially the parts of me I didn’t think to much about or consider so appealing, I think? She has definitely been changing gradually into more of myself since I first came up with her almost 2 years ago! Watch me slowly knock her down to my height of 4′9″, let her have her 3 inches for another year maybe lol.

My dearest Atsushi agrees lol ✨🐯

17. Any OC OTPs? 

👀 lol yesss~ so many and so many crack ships too, which I'll answer next 😂

I’ll just go on and list them off, plenty more of them but~:

DanyJay

SoraYama

LidiaTom

AlikLucy

IsabelleKayla

AlexanderIsabelle

DarkwolfmonJatomon

JatamonRaiwolfmon

EarthamonHounmon

HumaamonWolverimon

And lastly TakaSam is the one I have definitely drawn and thought of the most! They are the top OTP and just best trope of Childhood Friends to Lovers trope, also filling in that trope of Oblivious to both of them but everyone else 🙄. While SoraYama may have been the OG Couple in my story, my love and warmth for TakaSam is unmatched TwT.

It is wild cause I always draw anguish between them as could-have-been-lovers-had-it-not-been-for-death, but recently been drawing them purely happy and content. Total sweethearts, the love everyone wants, excluding possibility of being old friends or not!

18. Any OC crackships?

L o l, I never seem to focus on the main couples because of this specific thing.

I’ll again just go off in list an maybe add a trope or something to get an idea of them:

DanyYama: Rivals, Constantly arguing, and can be petty as heck, but oh the potential and just possibility of opening up after the traumaTM 👀 also the couple that is always in your face about being in a relationship.

DanySora: Sparing partners, the sass and stubbornness, BiPan solidarity 👀

DanyLidia: Pure, wholesome, best friends and so much hugging and lifting from the tol to smol, the nature love vibes

SamJay: Wholesome, soft, healing together from traumaTM, protectiveness, also their Digimon were lovers and married in their previous life, what does that make us? 😳

SamDany: Mostly sibling-like relationship, but damn they have that Sun and Moon tropes?! How can you not possibly ship them!

SamLula: Shy and Confident, Bisexual/Lesbian solidarity 💕✨

JaySora: Opposite of the DanyYama tropes, why are our partners constantly arguing, can they please stop, pure and soft together.

DanyTaka: Digimon Au specifically, Oh you and I are the voice of the revolution? We are rallying up the troops together? Oh boi my Digimon feels love for yours, am I falling for you or are we falling together? Depression buddies but also each others hope and spirit boost ;;w;;

Any of the Warriors with the Sins: A whole lo t of mess, and just not healthy ... but I can already seen fandom people sayin g otherwise~

LustWrath: Spicy, no strings attached kind of deal.

WrathEnvy: ...Oof um, not healthy, kind of manipulative, we are devils there is nothing but toxic vibes.

PrideWrath: Rulers, King and Queen vibes, Yeah we are toxic for each other, f*** off.

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Definitely Darkwolfmon! I am sure I explained in the first question why, but again I consider her to be that other half of me, the part of me I never discovered or the parts that essentially fill in the gaps within me. She is my precious partner Digimon and has honestly come a long, long way since I first created her. I believe sometime in 2009-2010, so almost 11-12 years since. She was the first ever OC of mine and is one I hold closest too in my heart.

For the longest time, even too now, I have always wanted her to just manifest at my side. Go on this journey of life together. While she might not be physically here like my child-self would want, she is still in my stories, my imagination, my inspirational drive. I think that is definitely more than enough, I don't know where or who I would be without having created her. I probably wouldn’t have a whole tale of OC’s and stories to tell if it wasn't for her. 

I am more than grateful and thankful that I am who I am because of this lovely Oc of mine. I can only hope to have her at my side for the rest of my days!

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Most, if not all, my OC’s can sing! Their voices and tones vary, to which I cannot give a straight answer on how I headcanon most of their voices right now ^^; I will say that Danielle has a British accent to her voice as well as Spanish speak, and Sora has a Russian accent to her voice, so may be just lightly deep, but not to much.

I will definitely go with my Bsd Oc/Self Insert Danielle Mika Mason, however! Because I have gone and done a thing on how she would speak in her Japanese and English Dub! Other than me also being her voice, her Japanese VA would be Yui Ishikawa, same VA of the queen herself, Mikasa 💕 English VA would be Barrett Wilbert Weed, with an English accent, good Veronica from the Heathers! You can have a listen to her here in this post! 

Dany is meek when it comes to her singing, she will often be caught humming and softly singing something, but quickly tends to stop around others. She is often back and forth with how she sounds and often shuts down when she hears someone she considers better than her. She just needs some encouragement and a gentle push from someone she really cares about. When she does feel the push and genuineness from someone she will sing her heart out. But of course prefers to sing for only that one special person~ can ya guess~ 🐯

31.  Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really).

Oh boi! I literally have moodboards to add to this! I pick Samantha, or Sam! 

She would totes have a Tumblr blog, and Instagram! You always look forward to see what she post and just feel an instant calmness and warmth when you see it! She is always tagging her things appropriately, a soft and warm spring like layout that is shades of yellows, golds, orange, white; an occasional blue and teal as well! She would reblog anything of her aesthetic, golds, yellows, dance and ballet related things (may even post videos or poses of herself in practice and dance related things), cafe shops, sweets and desserts, warm night lights, cats, lots and lots of cats and felines of all shapes and sizes! Her best friend/boyfriend, Takaru always cameos in her stories and posts 💖

She would also reblog or spread awareness of any issues happening in the world, marking them and making her own voice heard as well. In spur moments, you may see her not tag things, but will likely go back to name things accordingly. She would also reblog anything of Bi Pride too!

28. Your most dangerous OC? 

Hmmm,,, my most dangerous Oc, I am taking the notion that they are just plain dangerous and likely of evil intent in their actions. Because plenty of my Oc’s on their own are dangerous in their own right, such as the Legendary Wolf Warriors, who have a great power at their paws. They can be destructive in their actions if they lose control or use it for the wrong intentions, which they wouldn't do of their free will. 

I will say Danielle and Sam are the strongest of the seven, because of their powers of Darkness and Light, respectively. Their souls created the others, so the other Warrior’s power does not match theirs. They can definitely be lethal together if used for the wrong reasons or if they are under the control of a Human or Deadly Sin.

Which leads me to say that the most dangerous of my OC’s with the worst intentions and evil thought processes that makes them dangerous is likely the Deadly Soul Sin Pride, or Mikka Penelope King/Pride as her solid name goes. 

She is definitely the most sinister of the seven sins, even worse than Wrath, who you may figure would be the worst. She has a calculating mind and is very precise in her actions and ways of manipulation. She has a poison within her veins that is just as deadly, capable of blinding others or even killing without remorse or care. While she may be a ghost like entity in my stories, a person/digimon holder in my Digimon College Au, she has enough power to influence people to fall under pride and vanity in the most dangerous level possible, heck even possess them if she wishes. That makes her stronger, as well as the other sins. Does not matter if she is dead or fades away for a while, her influence remains and if it does, than she can exist for a long as she desires.

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Lol I saw cinnamon roll and instantly had a list of ocs ready, honestly any child OC I have is instantly a cinnamon roll and to good and put for this world, please treat them all kindly!

Current top Oc’s that come to mind are Haruko Mason-Nakajima, along with their nameless sister/pup! They are the sweetest babies ever and love them so much. Too good and pure, especially nameless pup with her love for tigers; she wants to grow up and be like her sibling and papa 🥺🥰  You can see the post on them here!

Next up is my precious flamey boi named Alik Azure Mizuhara! A next gen. LWW, son of Sora and Yamato! A little sightless boi with the softest heart and warmest empathy for others. Very much like his mother in likeness and pure curiosity of the world’s secrets and tales. His father worries for him a lot, but gradually learns to trust in his ability to guide himself. Don’t worry too much about him, he is very smart and knows how to care and guide himself!

Thank you so much for the time and questions you asked me Edgy! I had so much fun with these and gave me a chance to gush about my dearest OC’s! I do hope you find them of interest! 🤗🥺🥰

May your day be beautiful and amazing!! 🥰✨💖

[mikenewtonhateblog]

My oc’s aka too long of a gd post

The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.

Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?

Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.

Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human

Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.

Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone

Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human

Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)

Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)

Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin. 

Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.

That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

Tag Game

Tagged by: @theslytherinterran haha thanks for this btw, i really like getting these things cus im just such a needy bish hahaha

Name/Alias: hahahahaha i dont think im ready to give out my real name on tumblr so i have this thing where like i kinda just wanna be called smells instead hahaha. yknow cus of my url? like yknow how mel is short for melody (pond hehe), i want to be called smells because it's short for smelly hahaha

plus i think it's hilarious to be called smells cus i actually am kinda gross irl hahaha

Birthday: Dec 20 🤟😘

Zodiac: Saggitarius... i think? is that even how you spell it? haha lol

Height: 5'5"?? tbh i aint rlly dat sure haha

Hobbies: bingewatching (tv shows, movies, yt vids), writing (fanfics, poems, analysis/posts/captions/thoughts), hanging out in tumblr haha, reading (once in a blue moon, i binge a couple fics on a list or a book that i kept on pause haha), and then lastly, hanging w/ meh doggos hehe 🥰😄🥰😊

Favourite Color: Pink (i wonder if that seems unexpected for me here or nah haha)

Favourite Books:

there's this author in my country, Bob Ong, i think he's pretty much the most mainstream author we have and i fucking love his books. i've only read 2 of them (so far) abnkkbsnplako?! and stainless longganisa but i fucking loved them. they are so relatable n honest n FUNNY n smart n truthful n emotionally resonant. they're basically memoirs n rando thoughts about school and writing. but i honestly really really loved them

Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover - whew holy shit this book was a doozy for me. one, she's like only the 2nd fem author i've read (i'm not much of a reader if i'm being honest, dont have the patience for it), it is such an emotional love story with great characters and it had me saying i love you to the loved ones in my life after reading it (but that may or may not have to do with the fact that i just have a lotta repressed emotions that this book, and sleep deprivation from binging it, managed to wring out of me haha). it's also pretty funny n quirky n cool n haha it's the first time i read a sex scene that wasn't on fanfic haha

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (aka Daniel Handler irl) - i. love. these. books. they are so freaking smart and funny and amusing and lemony snicket's voice is just so effing good. i havent read all of them tho. an unfortunate mistake that i still feel guiltyabout to this day haha lol

Last song listened to: when i first started answering this, it was Euphoria by uhh jung kook is it? tbh i only listened to it cus kat and ethan's romantic confession was literal goals haha. but then i listened to vacation by the gogos while writing this probs cus i was lssing to it after ffh haha

Last movie watched: i thought the last movie i watched was endgame too (every time i watch it is a memorable af experience) but i am just now remembering it's actually mamma mia hahaha. i've rewatched that film so many goddamned times already it literally just slipped my mind haha. and then after putting this on pause, i watched like 3 romcoms (10 things i hate about you, begin again, and half of flipped haha)

Inspiration for muse: hhmm well i think it usually happens when i read/watch something and then my mind fixates on how my ship could be applied to that as well haha dunno

Dream Job: comedian-writer-director haha

Meaning behind my URL: hahaha ngl i kinda feel like i've been waiting for someone to ask me this ever since i came up with it hahaha. like the explanation has just been sitting in the back of my mind for so long and now i can finally explain the quirky cute weird insanity that is my url haha.

each word is related to something significant from a fandom of mine

smelly is from smelly cat from friends, phoebe's infamous song haha

cinnamon is rajesh koothrapali's adorable lil dog (CINNAMON, MY LITTLE LAMB CHOP 😂😂🤣) from the big bang theory

thundah, i think, is from cat in the hat. where the cat has thing 1 and thing 2 and thing 2's nickname is chocolate thundah hahaha (overcompensating with the nicknames because of he's number 2 hahaha)

and lastly fudge is from how i met your mother because marshall erikson calls himself/is called big fudge and subsequently judge fudge hahahaha <3

and thus smellycinnamonthundahfudge was born. i have no idea what past me was thinking hahaha. i think i was trying to be all WEIRD AND QUIRKY YAY which i think i succeeded at haha cus i was finally going to join tumblr. i also have a hard on for references that i wonder if ppl will get or nah hahaha. plus i really like its flow, like you can say it really quickly despite it being long af hahaha

imma just tag familiar faces around here haha (yknow the gist, do wat u wanna do, im not forcin u or anythin)

@mytamakomysookee and @hello-em75 (the first pips i actually chatted with when i first got here hehe), @suplosers (the first one ever to tag me in something like this hehe) and then just a buncha pips i've seen around here somewhere... cant really place you, u guys just seem familiar enough haha lol @you-guys--are-losers @the-real-illi-vanilli @nicehandsfeet @justaleapoffaith @jennifer7585 @orntrnk @mllefangirl @dhallia @untitledandrandom @spiderman-homecomeme @kanakalala458 @xfandemoniumx @justanotherfangirlpassingthrough @justlookatthosesausages @bubbleuwu @timey-wimey-drew @ironchilddragon @walkingcherrysoul @sexylordpalpatine @ohthedreamsofeuphoria @mattsavocados @missjordie @across-the-pond

and finally @tare8chan even tho you've not just been tagged to this already (by the same person who tagged me for that matter), you managed to finish this before i tagged ya hahaha darn

this was so effing long and sharey i dunno maybe i was just bored or on a confident streak hahahaha lol

well i think the lesson here is that i'm a very intense person with a lot of feels. thanks to anyone who actually read this entire thing for some reason haha. i know my intensity can be really offputting sometimes but eh pips gon be hu pips gon be. dey cant help it

[fluffybunnybaekhyun]

matchmaker! reader x emperor hwang

- okay so

- every time it's near valentine's day or something like that

- like idk prom or something

- people always looked to YOU for advice

- yes Y O U

- you were kind of a love genius?

- it all started when you first started secondary school

- you were alright

- not EXTREMELY popular and not UNKNOWN

- you were in the middle, ya know 

- you had friends and there were about 4 or 5 of you

- it was like a whole entire squad of besties

- prom for the people about to graduate was coming 

- the two year groups like year 12 and 11 were having prom basically

- your friends had some friends that were in year 11 and 12

- they're a bit more social than you but they all love you and stuff

- turns out a person in year 12 is having problems asking out a date

- your friends try to help them so they all meet up after school + you

- they're all giving suggestions and stuff but it's not really !!!!

- until you give a suggestion

- 'what if you talk to her in private instead of doing a grand gesture if you're shy. you don't wanna get embarrassed or mess up in public'

- and they'll all turn to you because they're shook 

- cus you didn't speak the entire time you were there lol

- and he'll slowly nod in agreement

- and everyone will agree cus that's pretty smart

- 'thanks, y/n'

- turns out that year 12 student spreaded the word about you

- the next week people were coming up to you asking you for love advice

- you were known as matchmaker! y/n

- fast forward you're in year 11 now

- you're still matchmaking

- by match making you're putting two people together !!

- you were helping this guy jisung ask out this girl he liked

- he was in year 10 and he was pretty shy 

- his friend chenle had this cute dolphin laugh

- that is beside the point

- anyways you helped him out and he and her started dating

- turns out it was one of your younger friends in year 9

- anYWAYS

- 2 year 12 students came up to you one lunchtime

- one was daniel the other was called jaehwan

- daniel explained to you that he needed like DESPERATELY needed to find a date for his friend

- you asked who she was and jaehwans like ??? we don't know lol

- and you're like ?? huh ?? hows that meant to work

- but daniel's like if we get to know you then maybe he'll know what to do cus you're a girl

- and you're like alright lol

- when you asked for the friend's name he wouldn't tell you

- he just told you his name was emperor hwang

- jaehwan would laugh at the look on your face 

- jaehwan caused you to laugh

- you laughing caused daniel to laugh

- then you were all laughing in the middle of the lunch hall getting these strange looks

- anyways you agreed to help them

- they began walking away to their table and you were walking to yours

- when they suddenly called out to you

- 'y/n! aren't you sitting with us?'

- and you'll be shooketh cus ??? what ??

- you'll tell your friends you'll be sitting with daniel and his friends whatever they were called

- daniel would tell the others that he had a plan to help their shy friend - emperor hwang

- you laugh when you hear that

- causing jaehwan to laugh

- then daniel to laugh

- their friends would be like ?? what's so funny ??

-  this is really long iM SORRY

- the guys get to know you but daniel knows the most about you

- you are good friends with them

- then prom comes round

- its a week before prom and you've mATCHED EVERYBODY

- except yourself

- daniel's like ?? don't you have a date ??

- and you're like ...no?

- he's kinda shooketh

- why not ?? didn't you match yourself ??

- nah, i'm not really into that 

- and he's like: // 

- you tell him not to worry as you're happy seeing everyone happy

- and you were but you had at least a little hope your crush would ask you

- you would ask him but mskidjufhfhurhegfrhgreugre what is confidence

- and who was your crush?

- hwang minhyun

- you ask daniel if that friend of his asked out that girl

- and you're like wtf????

- and he’s ??? wtf ?? too cUS HE EXPECTED HIM TO ASK HER OUT BY NOW !!!!!

- it's the night of prom

- you're helping other students set up the hill when suddenly someone taps you on the shoulder

- it's hwang minhyun

- oOOOOOooOOOOoOoOoo sAUCY

- wait

- his name is HWANG minhyun

- and his friend's often refered to him as emperor

- wAS EMPEROR HWANG-

- why didn't you notice before

- stoopid

- he did stare at you and always looked out for you

- when he could

- :')

- minhyun: hello matchmak- sorry y/n

- you: hello emperor hw- sorry minhyun

- minhyun: i have brought you flowers, food and a letter as an apology

- you: apology for what?

- minhyun: for not doing this sooner

- and he'll get down one knee and hold your hand 

- and ask

- 'y/n l/n, would you like to be my date to prom and also be my girlfriend?'

- and yOULL BE LIKENKERGIUHUGITGEIHGYURGTIUTGIUTHJNGRIOTJU WOW

- you'll take a deep breath

- and be like

- ' i would love to emperor hwang'

- and he's all smiley cus ifuofhrhref 

- 'here are your christmas presents :)'

- 'thanks, minhyun'

- 'i don't know what to do now'

- 'um i need to go home to change so we will meet up and go together?'

- 'yeah, i guess. we don't have to though because we can go with guanlin and his date in the limo'

- 'a limo???'

- ' yes - he's very rich'

- 'wow!'

- 'please don't leave me for him'

- ' i wont!!! don't sAY THAT MINHYUN'

- you guys hug and you go home jdnwjfer

- you change into your amaZING PROM THINGY

- can you tell im inexperienced

- anyways 

- guanlin pulls up in front of your house

- cus you had all of their numbers lol 

- minhyun is in the limo and knocks on your door

- he’s in a suit

- 'yOU LOOK SO PRETTY WOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE Y/N L/N IS MYYYYY GIRLFRIEND'

- basically gasses you tf up

- and you gas him up too !!

- lemme skip the car ride and the whole entire prom cus we all know what goNNA HAPPEN !!

- guanlin drops you off and minhyun walks you home

- 'i had a really great time tonight, emperor hwang'

- 'i had an amazing time too, matchmaker y/n'

- you both laugh at the nicknames you had for each other

- daniel: ' hURRY TF UP AND KISS HER'

- you both blush at that

- and minhyun's like: can i?

and you nod not trusting your mouth cUS WE BOTH KNOW YOU ARE GONNA SXCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

- he puts one hand on your cheek, the other on your waist

- you place your hands on his chest

- he leans in and sPARKS FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

- IT FEELS AMAZING !!

- you touch lips basically

- and like 15 seconds after you both pull away

- and you smile at each other before you have to go inside

- 'good night, y/n'

- 'good night, minhyun'

- he pecks your lips 

- you hear the cheers of your friends and you giggle before going inside

- you two are a chill couple though and love each other very much :)))))))))))))

[wannaonerella]

Pt.1 (I dont have a title yet so if u want to suggest anything, please go ahead)

Presetting:

• You are a B2M Ent. musician and artist (not an idol) (the co-managing company of Daniel besides MMO) and fairly new to the Korean music industry.

• You’ve been living abroad for quite some time and have been posting your music on diverse music platforms such as YT, Soundcloud etc. Since you also write music in Korean and did covers of various K-artists, you’ve become fairly viral there; thats how you signed with B2M.

• You’ve studied creative directing so you were always fully in charge of your music from creating beats to the editing of your videos.

• Since you have lots of qualities that are helpful in the industry you’ve been working on a lot of projects besides your own music like co-directing music videos of other idol groups and artists such as Dean and the DPR Crew. u̶̶h̶̶m̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶e̶̶a̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶i̶̶a̶̶s̶̶e̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶r̶̶u̶ lol

• Unless there were bigger company events like Lunar New Year or chuseog (korean thanksgiving) you’ve not really talked a lot with Daniel. He’s your seonbae since it has been 3 years since he had debuted as Wanna One, so it has been a lot of 90° bowing, polite small talk and self-promoting from your side. You’ve been quite a fan since the past Produce 101 S2 days but quite some time has passed and the over heated populary on Daniel has subsided a bit after Wanna One’s disbandment. Nonetheless he’s still popular due to his own activities and one thing that def has stayed is his bunny smile. 🐰

• On the other hand you are quite close to Yoon Ji Sung. He’s been the quirky, friendly oppa since day one. Showed a lot of interest since you were from abroad and he also told you that you are quite a showstopper when you get into a room because obvi you have that foreign unnie/noona vibe. Sometimes a bit too sseununni, he said. w̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶u̶̶p̶̶ ̶̶j̶̶a̶̶e̶̶b̶̶i̶-̶d̶̶u̶̶l̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶o̶̶p̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶o̶̶p̶ Nevertheless he sort of sneekily noticed that you ask about Daniel from time to time but he is aware that you are a supporting fan. So nothing to be suspicious about from his side. Yet.

• One day you are called in for a meeting and your manager said its with MMO so you think it is just a small project again. You are quite stressed out since you’ve been working on your own album and also going to a lot of small University events to perform since you do need an income. You go to the meeting. _______________________________________________

You push open the heavy glass door into the meeting room. Right away Daniel’s grinning face come shooting at you. You have a wtf-moment since you have no clue whats going on.

“Hey (x/y)! Nice to see you again. It has been quite awhile hasn’t it?” “Ah hello, Daniel-seounbaenim. How have you been? Good day, Director Lee and Kim, how are you as well?”

You want to take a seat but Daniel stands up and pulls out the chair next to him. Further confusion also because you’ve slept very little after working on your title song over the night. You thank him politely and he gives you a big smile again.

Oh god, I think I am def reading into this situation, did I never notice that he’s this nice or was it just because we only met in a crowd and hectic settings? You brush your thoughts off and by the time you are out of your head you hear the directors switching from small talk to business.

“So (x/y), the reason why we scheduled a meeting with you was because Daniel got a visual MV coming up. The track is a special one for his fans of his Wanna One debut 3 year anniversary. We’d like you to take over the project because we think you are more fit for this project since you have experience in dancing as well as creative directing.” (You’ve been dancing ballet since you are 5 years old and also tried other styles such as Jazz, Bgirling, Voguing etc but Contemporary, you like that the best so far besides ballet.)

“Oh wow. What an honor! But I am guessing you will be around too during filming Mr. Lee and Kim right?”

“Not at all. We have so many other things going on that we would be happy to give the whole project to you.“ You are baffled but sort of happy since you like directing things from start to finish and it would be the first bigger project in Korea. Plus, it's with Daniel, your low key crush. But you know you gotta keep it professional so you pop the bubbly thoughts again.

After all the details were discussed, the Directors leave the meeting due to their next schedule however you and Daniel stay behind to do a quick brain storming. First time being all alone with him. Awkward. Daniel just seems very cheerful for some reason and it distracts you. ̶y̶̶a̶'̶l̶̶l̶̶ ̶̶k̶̶n̶̶o̶̶w̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶n̶̶o̶̶b̶̶o̶̶d̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶a̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶r̶̶e̶̶s̶̶i̶̶s̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶p̶̶e̶̶a̶̶c̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶u̶̶m̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶m̶̶i̶̶l̶̶e̶

”(x/y), how old were u again? You look really young but seem so experienced. I heard you do so many things in the industry. Maybe I can call you noona?“ Daniel asks a bit shy but still very confident. You almost choke on your saliva because that was unexpected.

“Haha no, Daniel I am a 96er. I don't think we are that far apart. You are probably my oppa.” You obviously know his birthday since you are barely a couple of months older than him. Those old fan days weren't for nothing - gathering all Daniel information. lol

“Wow cool! Then we are donggab (same age in Korean) so we can be friends! I will drop the politeness from now. Let's be more chill, I prefer that honestly.” Your cheeks slightly turn peachy. You didn't expect things to get so comfortable with each quickly. “Since we are already at this, can I have your Kakaotalk? Then I can ask you more things or send you more ideas about my choreography.” Daniel takes out his phone from his bag and gives you the unlocked cell phone screen.

Squealing internally you slowly type in your number and your full name and give it back to him saved. “Uhm, hey since we exchanged contacts I think we can brainstorm another day? I have more things to do today that cannot wait for too long. I’m sorry about that. But you can text me whenever you want.” “Sure no biggie. I’ll call u asap” said Daniel and gives u a wink.

You freak out and stand up as fast as possible and therefore stumbling against the chair and Daniel catching you at the arm. You feel his grip and your heart starts pumping blood through your whole body, concentrating on where his warm hand is gripping onto your arm. You scuffle a short thanks and sorry and storm out of the meeting room. You do not dare to look up since your peachy cheeks have turned into the color of cherry tomatoes by now. Embarrassing and so typical of clumsy me, you think. I have to be more careful around him else I don't look professional.

Daniel left behind in the room sighs and smiles simultaiously and mumbles: “She’s cute, has always been.”

___________________________________ to be continued

[r-o-se]

EXACTLY 101 comments over P101 S2E4 wow how did I manage that don’t ask me also sorry for the shit screencaps lmao NOTHING THAT CUTE OR COOL HAPPENED IT WAS JUST SAD

Yo those eps are getting subbed faster than they used to idk whats going on but I’m definitely not complaining lol lets get riiiiiiiiiight into the neeeeeeeeews

1.      Flashback scenes to Jisung and Jinwoo’s teams losing are not appreciated at all stop the MMO abuse

2.      ‘3000 votes is too many’ I AGREE the Be Mine team is training everywhere and all the time poor fucking kids

3.      Who edited this and thought that ‘wow a piano rendition of out song would be a great and dramatic choice’ newsflash it’s not I’m already done with this song lmao

4.      SHINEE SHINEE SHINEE REPLAY TEAMS YOOOOO

5.      Pink team Ren and Yuehua chinaliners vs green team Sanggyun  and MMO Jaehan and Taewoong

6.      The pink cutesy Ren team is…. Too aegyo-ish  I’m older than 80% of them yet I feel like a pedophile watching this SAVE ME SOMEONE

7.      Sanggyun and Justin are the centers and both fucking wreck their roles in the best way possible

8.      Justin is so overacting and cheesy I’m rotting lmao love my kid tho

9.      Lee Gunhee aka the (RBW?) kid whose intro vid was him singing while getting hit by shit to show how stabile he is keeps getting out of tune I’m sad and worried

10.   The vocals trainers in this show I stg their method is just singing the high notes and then looking at the trainee like ‘what u cant do this lol? Try harder’

11.   Ren is comforting the kid whos dying of self doubt u g h

12.   AND HERE WE GO LMAO THEIR SMILES ARE SO BRIGHT SOMEONE STOP THE PINK TEAM

13.   U get the most flowerboyish pretty boy that has ever lived (Ren) and u give him the ugliest haircut u can think of pretty sure this counts as a crime

14.   GUNHEE DID IT IT ONLY BROKE A BIT IN THE VERY VERY END HE PULLED IT OFFFFFF AND HE PULLS OFF ALL THE NOTES AFTER THAT TOO

15.   Zhu Zheng did a frontflip of course he did lmao also Jihoon is probs pissing his pants because everyone around keep winking lmao

16.   Team 1 is playing around and being cute w the camera but team 2 look a bit troubled also ugh they are too hardcore for this fucking god Zhu Zheng kiddo I love you but you put them into such a shitty position aaaaa

17.   Here we gooooooooooooo green team lookin cuter than I expected holy damn Sanggyun is SINGING and it’s SO GOOD FOR A RAPPER

18.   HE IS ALSO SHOWING HIS ABS LMAOOO THIS ISNT THAT SORT OF SONG AAHAHAH FUCK

19.   Their performance is really good? A Lot cuter than I predicted and the vocals are so goooood

20.   Why do all other trainees look so sour did u want them to fail or some shit just let the kids live they were forced into such an uncomfortable concept aaaaaaa I WANNA VOTEEEE

21.   Time for pain and results team 1 won with ~70 votes im SAD Sanggyun was the only one who took the position points win aaaahhhhhh  ngl I was rooting for #2 eventho #1 had Ren and Yuehua kiddos also 3000 votes is TOO FUCKING MUCHH I HATE P101

22.   Now its Mansae aka power vocals vs the leftovers rip

23.   Woodam is one of my fav vocals overall this season all of the shit he’s done his intro clip his evaluation and reeevaluation clips are all so golden I love that dude and obvs he’s SLAYING THIS SONG TOO AGH

24.   Team 1 Yoonsung left due to health problems this is what happens when u don’t give kids food and make them get stage ready within a week and rearrange within 2 days

25.   It stressed Woodam the fuck OUT and he messed up a looot during rehearsals, missing notes and whatnot

26.   Their rapper reminds me of cube Soyeon last season with his kinda small and cutesy looks yet super charismatic stage presence

27.   Woodams VOCAAAAAAAALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

28.   Ok now the leftover group I really hope they will do alright they make me really sad ugh I really really really hope they’re okay u g h

29.   Theres this kid Hadon who is really salty about being in that team and leaves in the middle of practice and then won’t cooperate during trainers thing aahhh kid please

30.   Neverminddd they got nothing to show shit this is gonna be bad I am Very Worried

31.   Kahi is so nice I love her so much she’s so friendly and sweet and good truly the queen of this show without her it would be so much worse

32.   Hadon got his confidence back and their teamwork is so much better now and literally all of this got started by Kahi I LOVE KAHI SO MUCH BEST GIRL

33.   Their energy is a lot better than I expected I’m so glad they went through with their training and everything

34.   The Kim Youngjin kid has absolutely acceptable vocals I’m so glad they didn’t make any mistakes and just agh this team makes me sad

35.   Team 1 wins with overpowering 500 votes they got 500 votes MORE than team 2 it’s just so fucking sad dude 600+ vs 150

36.   But WOODAM ALONEGOT 207 VOTES WHICH IS MORE THAN ENTIRE TEAM 2 HOLY SHITTTTT THIS IS WHAT A POWER VOCAL DOES

37.   SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

38.   I’ve waited for this stage for sooooooo long they got all of my fav kids in Minhyuns team and then Ha Minho and Seonho and Namhyung in the other team aaaaaaahhh I’ll call them red and black since that’s their suits Minho ‘s team is red and Minhyun’s is black. They all look so good truly nothing wrong with a nice suit

39.   Minho and Namhyung want to insert a self written rap since they’re both rappers and Sorry Sorry has no rapping parts

40.   Minho really really wants to rap but Seokhoon (the vocal coach) doesn’t want to let him and also is mad at him because he wants to rap instead of singing like wow what? A rapper wants to rap instead of singing?? Wow unbelievable

41.   CHEETAH CAME IN AND SAID HE WANTS TO HEAR THE RAP THANK U THANK U THANK U Minho kiddo looked like he’s gonna tear up when he saw her

42.   Seunho was chose to jump on other’s backs since hes so handsome and APPARENTLY ALSO A PIANO GENIUS WOW WHAT ON EARTH DID HE JUST PLAY

43.   I really hope this group will do good since their opponents are sooo strong

44.   Aaahahahha fuck their choreo is so good and the harmonizations I might be biased but the Sorry Sorry stages are literally The Best of this show so far

45.   Seunho is like what 16 yrs old who let him look so good go away his body build makes him look so much older

46.   DANCE BREAK IS SO GOOD DUDE WHAT AND SEUNHOS JUMP WAS SO GOOD HIS EXPRESSION AFTER THAT WAS SOO IMPACTFUL AAHAHAH FUCK DUDE some dude in the audience screamed like someone bit his leg off honestly same

47.   I’ve watched maybe 3 original SuJu sorry sorry versions yet I can sing almost the entire thing that’s what an impactful song means lmao

48.   TEAM 2 AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH THERE THEY ARE MY ULT KIDS

49.   JR is taking care of Hyunbin this is like Sejeong and Sohye last season honestly SO CUTE I LOVE JR SO MUCH THAT KID IS THE SOFTEST LEADER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

50.   Their vocal coach tried to drag JR’s leadership uhh maybe kindly fuck off that kid doesn’t need your picking to hate himself when will he stop BLAMING HIMSELF

51.   Hyunbin is making mistakes and their dance coach keeps bullying JR like fuck no other leaders got this much shit even when their teammates couldn’t get it done right

52.   He takes all his time to take care of the others like help Hyunbin and Jaehwan with their dance and sleepy/sick Daniel

53.   JR finally broke when Hyunbin isn’t taking it seriously enough

54.   Sorry Sorry black team laughing together in deliriously sick sleep deprivation and choking stress is still probably the most beautiful ray of hope and sunshine in this ugly show I LOVE THIS TEAM SO MUCH

55.   There we go the best stage of this cursed show is here Seungwoos expressions are SO ON POINT ITS SO GOOD JUST DEBUT THEM NOW

56.   They all look so good I’m shook Daniel with a middle part was something I didn’t know I needed before I had it

57.   Lmao Jisung jokingly doing the moves along when Daniel appeared

58.   JAEHWANS VOCALS AND HARMONIES!!!!!!!! F U C K !!!!!!!

59.   I’m so biasaed towards this team if u decide to bring my follower count into single digits for this it’s understandable

60.   But I still really love team 1 too please don’t misunderstand Ha Minho is my lil kid with enough balls to speak his mind even if he gets fucked by rude coaches for it

61.   ‘Result is important but other team did well so I told them that too’ I love JR ok friendship is magic

62.   HYUNBIN GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE OF THEM ALL. WHAT THE HECK DUDE LIKE BRO FELLA BROTHER I LOVE HYUNBINN HAVE LOVED FOR A WHILE BUT. THE HIGHEST SCORE?? BRUH? HIS OPPONENT ONLY HAD 7 VOTES THIS IS SO SAD IM SAD THIS KID IS DEAD INSIDE

63.   Everyone in team 2 besides Seunho got really low votes I’m so sad…… bruh…. They’re so so so so SO talented but they went against the popular kids…

64.   Showing individual votes is so cruel and 3000 EXTRA VOTES IS TOO MUCH IM E M O THIS IS SO UNFAIR FUCK THIS SHOW!!! Team 1 looks so wrecked I’m so sad they have almost a 300 vote gap

65.    It is BEAST TIME ONE OF THE BOYS HAS A CRUTCH WHAT THE HELLLLLL

66.   The crutch boy is Dongmyeong and he’s in team 1 as well as Sunghyuk with thick lips and looks a bit like Shownu

67.   Team 1 has a loooot of problems distributing parts and practicing in general while team 2 was almost ready

68.   Sunghyuk is sadddddddd and crying bc he feels like they’re gonna lose but in the end the practice went better tho thank god

69.   They look great Dongmyeong’s hair looks like vanilla ice cream with strawberry swirls and he’s sitting in a chair and singing doing the choreo with his hands SO CUTEEE

70.   The second team is very vocally gifted and has AMAZING HARMONIES WOOOO their main vocal Jinhyung is AMAZING

71.   Dongsoo from S.How I think got forced into a rap position and has a leg injury but he’s covering it up from teachers

72.   DONGSOO DID SO WELLL SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEYE SHOWED IN PRACTICE THANK U MNET FOR SHOWING HIS PROGRESS

73.   EVERYDAY I CHUG (CHUG) EVERY NIGHT I CHUG (CHUG)

74.   Team 2 won by like 100 votes, all of the team 1 members are very hopeless, esp Sunghyuk,  Team 2 Park Heeseok only got 5 votes holy shitt POOR BABY THIS MUST FEEL SO BAD HE LITERALLY TAUGHT THEM THE DANCE

75.   BE MINE BE MINE WOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK THIS SONG WAS MY FIRST EVER KPOP FAVE

76.   Hwiseung already did his military service holy shit he looks so young

77.   I don’t even know who I am rooting for both those teams are great team 1 has great vocals and teamwork+FNC Hwiseung the power vocal. Team 2 has great dance, more popularity + the little Woojin, Takada Kenta, BNM alpaca Youngmin and oldie Sungwoo

78.   Team 1 has an injured ankle too, Yehyun, but he’s still dancing  without crutches or anything

79.   HWISEUNGS VOCALS SAVED MY LIFE I WANT HIM, JAEHWAN AND WOODAM IN A TRIO PLEASE

80.   They changed Sungyeol’s ‘Can you hear me?’ into ‘Pick me pick me’ im ded

81.   Kahi is the best teacher I love her so so so much she’s the best thing in this entire show

82.   I FORGOT TIPTOES WAS SUNGWOOS NICKNAME THIS IS AMAZING

83.   I’m so glad they’re doing Infinite honestly I love Infinite can we do B.A.P or Teen Top or VIXX next

84.   Team 2 wins almost exactly by one hundred and the votes are veeeeery equal and Youngmin barely got anything why are the dancers not appreaciated

85.   AVENGERS VS BAEKHOS TEAM YOOOOOOOO Baekho has also Sangbin and Guanlin and RBW Lee

86.   IM CHOKING THE AVENGERS ALL SOUND LIKE BABIES WHY DID THEY CHOOSES THIS SONG IM CHOKING

87.   They can’t really sing, the avengers, damn. They lay it all on Daehwi but like cmon hes 17 and just tryna survive with the popular kids lol

88.   AAahahahahah they’re just little kids this is so funny to watch I’m sorry all Avengers fans but like shit when they break into the chest pounding part I just start to laugh their voices are so high don’t get me wrong I looooooove Samuel and Sungwoon but fuck this is funny

89.   They should’ve gone with Seventeen or SHINee something with a morer fitting image

90.   The Real Fuckbois team is now up fuck I love this team so much aahahahah like no shit they will lose to all of those popular kids but still

91.   Oh nooooo Baekho pointed out that the Avengers were cheating and using a third vocal for thhe high note without telling anyone WHAT AN EVIL MAN anyways Baekho produces music and does vocal coaching he knows what he’s talking about lmao lmao

92.   THEY LOOK LIKE SUCH DIRTY FUCKBOIS HOLY SHITTTT THIS IS BEAUTIFULthis stage is SO LIT dude I love it they just carried Guanlin as if he was on a throne now both Cube kids get to sit/step on other trainees lmao

93.   SOMEONE DID A BACKFLIP WHOS THAT IT’S THE BLONDIE KID WITH A LOOSE TIE ITS LEE INSU

94.   Team 2: are fuckbois

Entire dressing room: stands up and claps

It’s true I was there, clapping

95.   Guanlin trumped Samuel, Baekho trumped Sungwoon, all other wins go to team 1

96.   Am I salty? Yes I am Team 1 won with abt 200 votes. They have more views and likes on YouTube though.

97.   Mansae first team got the most votes out of all teams and gets to go to MCountdown IM SO GLAD ALL OF THOSE KIDS WHO AREN’T ON SUCH HIGH RANKS GOT SAVED I’M SO GGLADD

98.   I’m SOOOOOOO FUCKING ANGRY SO MANY A AND B RANK TALENTED KIDS ARE IN SUCHHHHHH LOW RANKINGS THIS IS DEPRESSING

99.   Lbr for a moment this show really isn’t about talent it’s about popularity and visuals

100.  WOODAM GOT FIRST THO IM SO FUCKING AMAZED THIS KID DESERVES IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH DUDEEEEE THAT KID IS SO TALENTED I’M SO GLAD PEOPLE RECIOGNIZED IT

101.   SANGBIN FELL TO LAST PLACE WHY ARE THEY GETTING SO SO MANY VOTES 3000 IS TOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO MAD ALSO THEY SHOWED JINWOO FOR A MOMENT AND SANGGYUN IS WORRIED IM SSO SO SADDDDD THE NEXT EP IS ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY ITS RELEASING ON THE SAME DAY AS BAP ARE IN GERMANY

YOOOOOOOOO Sorry for the screencaps again also pls message or talk to me I am... So Emotional over this show I love everyone i will cry when this is over and I won’t see like 40 of my kidws ever again

[oxfordeliterp]

CONGRATULATIONS, RO!

You have been accepted to play the role of NICHOLAS MERCER with the faceclaim of DOUGLAS BOOTH. Please create your account and send it to the main in the next 24 hours. I am well aware of your first choice, but trust me when I say that I would have done you a great injustice not giving you the role of Nick. The twists you have picked for him, the paragraph sample you have masterfully done, every tweak and change and elaboration convinced me that you are the perfect player for him. You understand a character that I have always found tricky and have captured him to the last detail. A simple compliment regarding the twist on his relationship with Lucas wouldn’t suffice, for it is a detail that deserves endless praise. You are an incredibly good writer and, it seems, one of the friendliest people on this site  — and I cannot wait to see more of both you and Nicholas. Thank you for your cooperation and dedication, and know that they did not go unnoticed.

Name and pronouns: Ro - He/Him

Age: 26

Time-zone: PST

Activity level: I am a film student in third year, about to head into the summer. I tend to be very busy, but I’ve also been committed to RP as a part of my regular life and creative outlet for upwards of ten years. I should always make activity (and I’ll always contact you if I run into any issues) and I’d likely be doing replies a couple times a week. I try to lurk on the daily, but if I work in the industry again this summer, the hours are insane so I tend to be on the most on the weekends!

Triggers: removed for privacy

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION

Desired character: Nicholas Mercer - Nick is a very enthralling character to me. I’m drawn to the way he is at war with himself - the distaste and discomfort he feels when he looks in the mirror and can hardly meet his own gaze. I’m drawn to the compulsion he has to keep up this act and web of lies, despite the growing shame he feels at his own actions, because the shame he feels by his own roots is worse. I love that he’s a charmer, and has always been praised for his looks and brains and potential, and yet his smiles and confidence are in many ways an act carefully designed to hide the deep seeded insecurity and uncertainty underneath.

Gender and pronouns of the character: Male, He/Him

Changes: FCs: Man, this is hard to choose. Douglas Booth (I didn’t know he was in the film actually, haha, I’d never seen it) he’s a good fit with appropriate charm in his gifs, Daniel Sharman, who would maybe be my first pick, were it easier to find smiley-charmy gifs of him, and Zayn Malik - a less stereotyped approach, but I kind of like that and he’s got great gifs for it. If i get this role you may have to help me choose LOL. I’m unsure who’s best. I keep flip-flopping. At first I thought Douglas was the best bet but now I’m not sure.

Traits: Nicholas grew up believing that his value lied in how unlike the rest of the world he was. He was praised for his looks and his sharp, surprising mind. His teachers, classmates and parents spoke of little other than what a spectacle he was; how he stood out from the crowd, how his shine would make so many envy him. He was taught that these were the things that mattered because these were the things those who were meant to care for him seemed to value most about him. These were the things they were proud of.

And so growing up he developed followers and admirers, but not friends. He grew up having to protect these material and shallow things about himself because they were the only things his parents seemed truly invested in. Money and admiration were what he needed to be somebody. To matter and to make a mark, to not disappear into irrelevance. In short, he is deeply insecure and has a skewed sense of self worth. He only values in himself what he believes others have valued in him, and has become obsessed with protecting that ‘It-boy’ image in order to maintain his reason to be seen.

Headcanons/plot ideas:

Nick is a hard one to pinpoint, and I could go a few different ways for what he’s studying. Currently I’m thinking Law or Social Anthropology.

Nick is gay. I think it says something remarkable (and remarkably sad) about his determination to marry for money and status, and it speaks loads about his self-image. It makes me absolutely ache, how trapped he feels, how desperate and how self-loathing, and that’s the real reason he can’t look himself in the eye when he looks in a mirror. He’s ashamed on one level, for being ‘poor’ and not good enough, and ashamed on a whole other level, for being fraudulent, a liar, a deceiver and a coward. His levels of self-loathing and pain are bone deep and twisted around his ribs in a way that truly inspires me as a character driven writer. I could explore him endlessly. He has so much potential and I love him so much!

I’m interested in looking at his relationship with Lucas. I don’t want to rush any decisions until I get my feet wet and explore him a little and let the character show me how he feels, but I could see his relationship with Lucas as being one potentially unrequited of feelings Nick may be keeping tucked under his tongue. With everything else he’s feeling and hiding, and the fact that Lucas is one of the few people he feels really connected to at school, I could see that as being something he struggles with or something that develops. Either way, however, it’s a complicated and precious dynamic I’m excited about.

PARA SAMPLE

Scholarship.

The word felt filthy on the edges of his tongue. Before it even left his throat, stuck there at the wall of his too-white teeth. It felt like a betrayal. It felt like a confession that would tumble him apart. It felt like a truth so ugly it made all his lies feel like beautiful, caressing companions.

Scholarship. He lived in fear of the way the word exposed him, and as he stood in the men’s room, palms gripping the edge of the damp, marble counters, he hoped to God it never came up with his date sitting across the table from him. Hoped she hadn’t heard, somehow, through a furiously whispered rumour that he sometimes felt certain was ghosting at his tailcoat as he strutted through the corridors of Oxford. He was haunted by any remnants of his past still surface enough to peer through the veil of glass and sand he’d tried to bury it with.

He’s spent years perfecting his walk, his talk, his privileged smile and he’s so good at it now that he at times can even convince himself. Some days, he’s almost reinvented the truth. Has become so familiar with the lies that they’ve made him a nest in a safe, new reality.

But the rest of the time he lived in constant fear of that other shoe dropping.

The back splash tiles of the bathroom sink were pitch black and so shiny he could see himself in them. It was like even the room was laughing at him, and his reluctancy to look himself in the mirror with any kind of conviction. Too cowardly to face the twisted boy that Oxford had mangled him into. It was easier to blame the school. Easier to say that the pressure of the Riot Club and the prestige he was so constantly cloaked in, was responsible for his poorly justified choices, for his backburner-ing of integrity. His pride was forged in the cold grey slate of his artifice, and if you looked too closely you could see the places it was chipped.

The echoing sound of the door opening, of cutlery and chatter swooping into the space before the door slid shut again, shook him from his reverie and he twisted ornate taps with hurried fingers, running his palms under the flow as the sound of fine-Italian soles clacked behind his back and stopped at a urinal.

He breathed. Exhaled the breath he’d been holding, actually, and cupped cool water into his hands to splash it over his face. He didn’t always lose his cool. In fact, in company, he rarely did. The fact that he’d gotten so God damn good at this was half the reason guilt feasted on him as savagely as it did. He didn’t crack with an audience, but the pressure to perform so consistently made his solitude more of a place of unwanted reflection than of refuge. The silence gave him time to stop and think and hate and regret; all things he neither needed nor had the energy for. What he needed was to be kept busy. Moving constantly, his performance uninterrupted, so that in doing so he might forget everything it was he was running from. Everything he was covering up.

It was all Lana’s fault. He’d been holding the door open for his date (a pretty blonde thing with jewels around her neck worth the same dollar value as the tits sitting too-high and too-solid on her narrow ribcage to be natural) when Lana Chambers had strolled passed clutching her handbag and ducking under the umbrella of whatever current company she was in. And he’d seen it in her eyes—the nugget of truth she wielded, a weapon that could so easily destroy him. He’d seen the shadow of knowledge flick across her raven’s wings eyes as she’d glanced at him, then at his date.

He hated the way she looked at him—regardless of what she was thinking, he could’t shake the feeling she knew what he was up to. Knew all his darkest secrets, all the workings of his seduction on these women who would stabilize his status as top-tier. Couldn’t help but fear she would find a way to air his dirty laundry for the world to see—even if she hadn’t been privy to much of it. There was no way she could know the things he’d never told a soul. No way she could know how deeply his seduction of these women was a lie. No way she could know the way he looked at Lucas.

She couldn’t know. But his best friend was the only thing in his world among the elite that felt genuine and he couldn’t help but fear she’d find a way to take that from him. She was the only one with the power to.

So fragile, he was, for such a God among mortals. So tenuous was his falsified confidence, his calculated swagger. He could be taken apart so easily by a woman who knew too much. One thread was all it would take to unravel his web of lies. How long until he cracked under the heavy choke of his sacrifices? What he was giving up in order to obtain the one thing that he could count on making him memorable? Maintaining his significance.

And there was nothing worse he could think of, in this world of material, power and prestige, than being rendered insignificant.

[womenofcolor15]

EXCLUSIVE: Meet Your New Little Sis In Your Head, Rayven Symone Ferrell – Colorism Isn’t Stopping Her Hustle & Neither Is Somebody’s Ashy Son + ‘The Kamiyah Mobley Story’ Premiere Flicks!

TheYBF.com chopped it up with “The Kamiyah Mobley Story” star Rayven Symone Ferrell (not the Raven Symone you’re thinking) and the YBF chick is all about progressing in her acting career. And nothing is going to stop her. What she told us about colorism in the industry, dating in 2020, and more.

Rayven Symone Ferrell is a fresh face on the acting scene you DEF want to get familiar with.

No, she’s not “Cosby Show” alum Raven Symone. We’re sure that’s who came to mind when you first read the name. There’s actually a story behind her famous name. Rayven's mother named her after the Disney Channel actress because she knew her daughter was destined for greatness in the acting world. Did Rayven feel pressure having a celebrity name? Nope. She knew her capabilities and didn’t allow a name to add more pressure on her.

        View this post on Instagram

                  Told my mom if she rode this wave with me it’d be worth it...then just 3 years in we walked out on that red carpet #myrider Happy Muthas Day! @crystalirvin812

A post shared by Rayven Ferrell (@rayvenferrell) on May 13, 2018 at 7:53am PDT

The 24-year-old moved from Ohio to Atlanta in 2013 - when she was 18 - to attend Kennesaw State University. At the time, producing was more her passion and acting was more like a hobby. It didn't take long for that to change in her new environment. The acting bug crept back on her after behind exposed to how TV and film was created in ATL. That made her start pursuing acting as a career verses just a hobby.

Rayven began booking gigs in 2015, where she nabbed a short appearance in ��Greenleaf,” and then got her first big break when she starred as late rapper Tupac’s younger sister, Sekyiwa Shakur in the feature film, All Eyez On Me. She then scored roles in TV and film, including Lee Daniel’s “STAR,” BET’s “The Bobby Story,” The Hate U Give, and “Chicago P.D.”

        View this post on Instagram

                  Make sure you check out @thehateugivemovie movie this weekend. Ya might catch ya girl do a little cameo to shake some shit up lol. #Denasia

A post shared by Rayven Ferrell (@rayvenferrell) on Oct 6, 2018 at 10:49am PDT

Eventually, she moved to L.A. after being bicoastal, and now, she’s ready to take over Hollywood.

She’s starring as Kamiyah Mobley in LIFETIME’s ripped from the headlines feature, Stolen by My Mother: The Kamiyah Mobley Story, where she plays Kamiyah Mobley. The film is executive produced by “Good Morning America” anchor Robin Roberts.

Rayven’s career is taking off and she’s for sure not letting anything stop her. Nope. Not even colorism, which is very present in this industry.

“I think in today’s society black is beautiful,” Rayven told TheYBF.com in an interview.

While colorism is prevalent in the industry, it hasn’t slowed her down one bit.

“It’s not like one of those things where it has prevented me to pursue my dreams,”Rayven said. “I do think that in today’s society everyone is kind of noticing how great we are and are really giving us a chance to create and make our own projects. You have to look at Issa Rae & Tyler Perry - people who create opportunities for us. We have a lot more voices. I just hope and pray that I become one of those people, so the next brown girl can look at me as that for her as well.”

        View this post on Instagram

                  Mood...tomorrow is Monday which means the team about to bless me with more opportunities for an opportunity.

A post shared by Rayven Ferrell (@rayvenferrell) on Oct 14, 2018 at 4:03pm PDT

  Rayven may be young, but chick has her head on straight. She’s all about working hard and pushing through even when things get hard. She even dropped some gems for other young, black actresses aspiring to get in the game.

“It gets better. It gets better,” she told TheYBF.com

People will look at her now and think she has it all together as she continues to grow as an artist, but, it hasn’t been easy. And she acknowledges that.

“It’s so easy to not to feel as confident. It’s so easy to give up. It’s so easy to feel like you’re not in the right spot, at the right age at the right time. It’s so easy to fall into the negative of it and not look forward to the outcome. So, to anyone pursuing… really anything - not just acting – just know that if you put in 100%, you’ll get something out of it. It does get better," she concluded.

A WORD.

Having tunnel vision to make it big (she aspires to work with her faves Regina King & Viola Davis), Rayven doesn’t have time for anyone’s ashy son!

“Right now, I’m really, really focused on my career, so I kind of limit my love life until I feel comfortable where I don’t have to go as hard. I don’t need any distractions right now,” she explained.

And we couldn’t agree more.

“One thing I’ve realized about relationships, it’s a job,” she shared. Once things take an unexpected turn, it can affect you career and focus and she just doesn’t have time for the foolishness right now.

Speak.On.That.Ish.

Recently, "The Kamiyah Mobley" cast - including lead star Rayven Symone, Niecy Nash (who plays the mother who abducted her character in the film), Ta'Rhonda Jones (who plays her character's biological mother) and executive producer Robin Roberts - reunited for the NYC premiere held at the The Paley Center recently. Peep the carpet flicks below:

Niecy always slays a red carpet. Sheesh!

OK, Robin with the see-thru! Get it!

Ta'Rhonda pulled up an edgy look that we're feeling.

          View this post on Instagram

                  One hell of a mood

A post shared by Rayven Ferrell (@rayvenferrell) on Jan 13, 2020 at 8:08pm PST

            View this post on Instagram

                  Last night was literally perfect. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and support. I’ve been smiling all morning #stolenbymymother #kamiyahmobley

A post shared by Rayven Ferrell (@rayvenferrell) on Jan 14, 2020 at 8:23am PST

  Robin Roberts Presents: Stolen By My Mother: The Kamiyah Mobley Story will premiere January 18th at 8/7c on LIFETIME. Set your DVRs!

Photos: Getty/Startraks

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/01/15/exclusive-fresh-face-rayven-symone-ferrell-%E2%80%93-colorism-isn%E2%80%99t-stopping-her-hustle-neither-i

[bsaka7]

A, J, K, M

thank u anon sorry that it took me a couple of days but i enjoyed :)

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

hmmmm i will give you a different answer than the last ask with a....tbh i really like "in clover" because it was me giving a shot at a different writing style and i think it both 1) gave me the confidence to write more in past tense and 2) turned out fairly well!!! as i said in a different ask...i love nature writing so this fic is definitely a little bit an ode to that...

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

idk what my FAVORITE trope is...u ask me that and i immediately forget everything about tropes. i do like temporary amnesia (which in my head kind of goes with time loops because they're both about a character learning themselves without being grounded in their own history) and i wrote about 10k of a temporary amnesia fic last fall but it's abandoned. genuinely think it's my only abandoned f1fic. i also haven't written anything to do with time loops. but perhaps i would! the problem is...i feel like its a thin line to walk between moralizing and formulaic and idk if i can do the trope well. but i'm open to it!

K: Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

my guilty pleasure is that i read and write fic (especially that i write rpf) LOL idk if it goes deeper than that...

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with? Did it turn into a story?

last time i said pirates this time i'll say the 1930s au where daniel kills a man and makes max bury him in the southwest. idk if it's THAT weird but its a fic that to me would need to be written in a very different way than all of my other fics and also i have no idea what the audience is. it has not been written yet but i have a few notes on it tucked away...

[kaylanimakacorneau]

I so recommend  THE ATTIC by Franz Kafka . WOw to a lawyerReply  

Kaylani Maka Corneau

2 seconds ago

read next NARCISSUS AND GOLDMUND . wow. or Peter Camizand.. or leap to Kafka. LOL. wow, books are my BFF , like literally, and I do cry lotSs ITReply  

Benjamin Garner

1 day ago (edited)

"I'm confident but I have social anxiety" Holy shit if this isn't meReply 1564  View all 14 replies

varjau

7 hours ago

sameReply 2  

Phandom Af

46 minutes ago

Literally me but I have no confidence or self esteemReply 2  

Kaylani Maka Corneau

2 seconds ago

registeredReply  

Gwynneth Azar

1 day ago

RIP after chat. You were full of lots of different fandoms and song chains...Reply 1102  View all 26 replies

Bailey Nathan

1 day ago

It's pretty good. How about you?Reply  

Gwynneth Azar

1 day ago

Bailey Nathan Pretty good. Going on another Dan and Phil marathon, so...Reply 1  

The Potato Bear

1 day ago

My mum died recently and mr danny is helpful in distracting me thank youReply 689  View all 65 replies

Alicia Thiemann

10 minutes ago

The Potato Bear the phantom is here 4 uReply  

heavydirteesoul

9 minutes ago

The Potato Bear sending my love to you❤️❤️❤️Reply  

Daniel Dream x

1 day ago (edited)

anthony padilla liked my tweet about 'padildos'. should i be proud or concerned.Reply 1671  View all 31 replies

Not Society

23 hours ago

Daniel Dream x I would say bothReply 14  

eemse inoy

6 hours ago

Daniel Dream x Probably both😂Reply 3  

I'm EmøBandTrash

1 day ago

Who else thinks the plushies should be punk Phil and pastel DanReply 633  View all 14 replies

I'm EmøBandTrash

18 hours ago

Beverly Cook Aww thxReply  

taco burrito

4 hours ago (edited)

The girl in green  sorry did i give you the right to have me as your pfpReply 1  

Jordan Carpenter

1 day ago

I HAVE A PICKUP LINE FOR PHANDOM MEMBERS... Did it hurt... when you fell from your chair. Kms bye.Read moreReply 1194  View all 16 replies

allinagayswork

1 hour ago

BLESS THIS COMMENTReply 3  

jenjan Rodri

1 day ago

Bye afterchat it was filled with mcr,Dans diss track,musicals and was overall a mess you will be missed RIP 2017-2017Reply 600  View all 10 replies

Emmynem

1 day ago

jenjan Rodri of course it wasReply 3  

Sara

1 day ago

jenjan Rodri i mean thats literally how it is every time lmaoReply 7  

MayLivKoi

1 day ago

"I just got dumped" Dan: FORGET THAT HOE! Dan helping his fansReply 461  View all 3 replies

King Yareth

16 hours ago

MayLivKoi what was the time please?Reply  

Ikra Aku

14 hours ago

When he said Pim's I thought he meant the biscuits T.TReply 1  

Keisha Taylor

1 day ago

I clicked on when he was saying goodbye whY DO I ALWAYS MISS IT AICJJSWReply 401  View all 12 replies

Daniela Enriquez

23 hours ago

Keisha Taylor I couldn't even watch itReply 5  

Ellie Amara

21 hours ago

Keisha Taylor I was super early. I was there When he was still getting ready.Reply 1  

ChYEEseWhizInAPøshBritishAccent

1 day ago

i just got my braces on this morning and my teeth hurt a lot, this made my day! thank you <3Reply 339  View all 53 replies

ChYEEseWhizInAPøshBritishAccent

1 hour ago

nyree the unicorn well i bought a starbucks cookie and then i remembered my mouth kills so i had to eat it literally one crumb at a time😂😂 i suggest ramen noodles, those are ok to eatReply 1  

AlfietheGreat?

1 day ago

Oh no, phil has laryngitis?! Hope you get better philReply 322  View all 5 replies

Yazzy Isnotonfire

1 day ago

AlfietheGreat? Is it weird that I'm sick at the same time that Phil is sick... or is it just meReply 5  

Rose Brown

1 day ago

that after chat was a disasterReply 339  View all 10 replies

Roxxy Wood

1 day ago

AND I FRICKIN MISSED IT! GOSH DAMMIT.Reply 5  

Rose Brown

1 day ago

YesReply  

Kyzo R6

1 day ago

I feel kind of bad for Dan because i feel like hes trying to evolve but his fanbase won't grow with him because they're all 10+ years younger than him and are still cringy and stuck in their MCR scene phaseReply 354  View all 36 replies

grace price

1 day ago

he should start every liveshow with a g-noteReply 877  View all 29 replies

nerdygirl8338

11 hours ago

grace price I would die every single week...Reply 2  

C Major Lips/Blue-sky Hands

8 hours ago

no please i'll cryReply 3  

Wholesome.Howell

1 day ago

RIP THE CHAT THAT LASTED ABOUT 10 MINUTES ;-;Reply 283  

FangirlWithFro

1 day ago

Did Dan just pronounce  hola like " hoe - lah ?" 😂😂💀Reply 289  View all 17 replies

jemimah zeckendorf

3 hours ago (edited)

He does know it's pronounced ola, like in OrangeReply  

Dora Explorer

1 hour ago

Mille and in brazil people laugh like “kkkkkkkkkk” it confused me alotReply 1  

Rafaela Mello

1 day ago

HE LOOKS SO GREAT WTFReply 276  View all 3 replies

Hey buddy you in London? :3

1 day ago

Rafaela Mello ikrReply 4  

יסמין מיציסלבסקי

1 day ago

Rafaela Mello he always looks great that's danReply 12  

Makenzie Is Dying

1 day ago

Knock knock? Who's there? Definitely not my self esteem...hehe..

cries

Reply 234  View all 4 replies

Makenzie Is Dying

1 day ago

Sara bless uReply  

Makenzie Is Dying

1 day ago

voldemort's nose SOFT AND

N E A T

Reply 3  

lank lonk

1 day ago

made me feel good that dan admitted that he has social anxiety. of course not glad that he struggles, but happy to see someone as successful as him dealing with the same things that i amReply 242  

Phandom Af

48 minutes ago

lank lonk I have social anxiety too love from uk ❤️Reply  

Spøøkyeejim

1 day ago

G NOTE WARNING GUYS

Reply 298  View all 25 replies

yeemophandomtrash

1 hour ago

Spøøkyeejim thank yee so muchReply 1  

Alicia Thiemann

6 minutes ago

yeemophandomtrash anyone who doesn't give a warning needs yeesusReply  Show more

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