#thank god none of my siblings use tumblr so i have a place to complain lollll

[naomiknight-17]

My oldest sister does NOT get gender and sexuality stuff oh my goddddddd

Tried to tell her a family member of ours transitioned and her immediate response was

"So she has a PENIS now!!?!??"

Like. Where do I even start.

He. And whether he has a penis is not your business.

And when I mentioned being nonbinary she was like "but you still have boobs so you're female" and I was like. Sis. Biology and gender are not the same thing

Just because I don't want to go have surgery about it, doesn't mean my gender is not valid

God bless her I love her she is my sister but oh my god she Does Not Get It

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. What do you like to do in your free time? So what do I do everyday? Tumblr, surveys, watch TV, watch YouTube, eat, sleep... sometimes read and color.  2. Are you more of an indoors or outdoors person? I am an indoors person all the way. The only exception is if I’m at the beach. 3. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met? Hmm. 4. What was the last book you really got into? Burying the Honeysuckle Girls by Emily Carpenter.

5. What are some movies you really enjoyed? There’s several. 

6. What amazing adventures have you been on? I haven’t really been on any. 7. What pets have you had? Dogs, fishes, hamsters. 8. What’s your favorite alcoholic and non-alcoholic drink? I don’t drink alcohol anymore, so none, but my favorite non-alcoholic drink is coffee.  9. What are you kind of obsessed with these days? My food obsessions come to mind at the moment. My appetite is all over the place and I’m either an endless pit or hardly eating anything at all. Each week is different in terms of that and what I’m into. This past week it’s been breakfast burritos, deli sandwiches, deli pasta salads, and ramen. I also had a really good pizza last week that I’m craving again. 10. Where have you traveled? To beaches, mountainous areas, Disneyland, Arizona, Idaho, Georgia, Mexico. 11. What’s your favorite international food? Italian. 12. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I’m barely a person. 13. What’s your favorite restaurant? Applebees. 14. How many siblings do you have? 2. 15. What would be your dream job? I don’t have one. :/  16. What would you do if had enough money to not need a job? Travel.  17. Who is your favorite author? I have a few. 18. What was the last show you binge-watched? Orange is the New Black.  19. What TV series do you keep coming back to and re-watching? I’ve seen The Golden Girls, Roseanne, and I Love Lucy countless times in syndication.  20. What hobbies would you like to get into if you had the time and money? Hm. I don’t know. 21. If there was an Olympics for everyday activities, what activity would you have a good chance at winning a medal in? Taking surveys. 22. What would your perfect vacation look like? Somewhere involving a beach house and private beach area. 23. Among your friends, what are you best known for? I don’t know. 24. What music artist do you never get tired of? There’s a lot. Well, at least their music itself I never tire of. I may not necessarily keep up with the artist.  25. What are some accomplishments that you are really proud of? I honestly don’t feel proud of myself for much of anything in my current state. It used to be getting my BA, but now not even that because I’m doing anything with it and I really don’t have any plans to. I feel like it was a waste and I’m a total failure and disappointment. 26. What are some obscure things that you are or were really into? *shrug* 27. What are some things everyone should try at least once? I don’t knowww. 28. What fad did you never really understand? There’s been many where I was just like, wtf, why??

29. What’s the best thing that has happened to you this month? Going to the beach last week was great and very much needed. 30. What would your perfect morning be like? I’d be in a house with a beautiful ocean view and I’d be out sipping my coffee on the balcony overlooking said view.   31. Is there any art or artist you are really into? No. 32. What are you always game for? Coffee. 33. What do you do to unwind? Listen to ASMR. 34. What’s your favorite app on your phone? I use YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Kindle app the most. 35. Cutest animal? Ugliest animal? Awwww I think majority of animals are cute.  36. Who is the kindest person you know? One of my nurses. 37. What’s your favorite piece of furniture you’ve ever owned? My bed. 38. Who are your kind of people? People with a good sense of humor. 39. Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever been? Uhhh. 40. What’s the silliest fear you have? I have a lot. Like for one, sometimes when I’m in the shower I get this scary thought about the pipes just bursting. That’s just one of many. 41. What would be the best city to live in? I don’t know. 42. What household chore is just the worst? I’m not a fan of any chore. 43. If you could give yourself a nickname, what nickname would you want people to call you? *shrug* Steph is fine. How original, I know. 44. What odd talent do you have? I don’t feel I have any. 45. If you could give everyone just one piece of advice, what would it be? Just try and be kind and understanding. 46. What would you like to know more about, but haven’t had the time to look into it? Hmm. 47. What country do you never want to visit? Any country where it would be dangerous for me to be in? <<< Yeah, I agree. 48. What wrong assumptions do people make about you? People think I’m “strong” and “brave” and give me way more credit than I deserve. I’m none of those things. 49. Do you prefer to work in a team or alone? Alone. 50. What has been the best period of your life so far? Childhood. 51. How have you changed from when you were in high school? That was over 10 years ago and a LOT has changed. Not for the better, either. 52. How techie are you? Uhh techie enough? I don’t know. I mean, I like the latest phones and laptops and stuff like that.  53. Where is the most fun place around where you live? Nowhere in my city, that’s for sure. You gotta travel out of town to do anything fun. 54. Have you ever joined any meetup groups? No. 55. Where would your friends or family be most surprised to find you? They’d be surprised to find me out at all at this point, ha. 56. What’s the most relaxing situation you could imagine? Lying out on the beach. 57. What is the most beautiful view you’ve seen? Ocean and mountainous views. 58. What’s expensive but totally worth it? For me, it’s my MacBook. 59. When do you feel most out of place? I often feel that way. 60. What’s the most recent thing you’ve done for the first time? I can’t think of something at the moment. My days are very routine and I do the same the things. 61. How did you come to love your one of your favorite musicians? Probably first seeing their music videos on MTV back when they actually played music videos. 62. How did you meet your best friend? She gave birth to me. 63. What small seemingly insignificant decision had a massive impact on your life? I don’t know. 64. Where would you move if you could move anywhere in the world and still find a job and maintain a reasonable standard of living? I’m not sure, but somewhere where it doesn’t get unbearably hot and has actual fall and winters.  65. Would you like to be famous? (If yes, what would you want to be famous for? If no, why not?) No. I don’t want that attention and focus on me. I couldn’t handle it. I hole up at home and have avoided people in my personal life, why would I want people all over all up in my business and judging my every move? No thank you. 66. What did you do last summer? Complain about how hot it was and was dying, mostly. What I do every summer. 67. If you lived to 100, would you rather keep the body or the mind of yourself at 30 until you were 100? What. 68. Before you make a call, do you rehearse what you are going to say? Oh god, yes. I HATE having to make calls.  69. What are you most grateful for? My family. 70. What’s the most essential part of a friendship? Being able to trust them and talk to them about things and enjoying common interests. 71. When was the last time you sang to yourself or to someone else? Yesterday. 72. If you knew you were going to die in a year, what would you change about how you live? I don’t like questions like this. 73. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Yearssss ago.  74. What did you do for (last holiday)? Or What will you do for (next closest holiday)? We didn’t do anything for Memorial Day. Next holiday is Father’s Day, and we’ll probably go to lunch and/or see a movie.  75. Best and worst flavor ice cream? What would make for an excellent new ice cream flavor? Strawberry or mint chocolate chip.  76. Who’s your favorite actor or actress? Alexander Skarsgard. 77. All modesty aside, what are you better at than 90% of people? It doesn’t have to be useful or serious, it can be something ridiculous. I don’t feel I’m great at anything. 78. What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had? I don’t know. 79. How much personal space do you need to be comfortable? I don’t want someone all hugged up on me. 80. What’s the most interesting fact you know? I couldn’t choose just one. 81. What fad or trend have you never been able to understand? A lot of them, honestly. 82. Who’s your favorite character from a TV show, movie, or book? I’ll just pick one of the many shows I watch, Riverdale: The main crew, Betty, Veronica, Judghead, and Archie. 83. What TV shows did you watch when you were a kid? Stuff on Nickelodeon, Disney, PBS, and WB Kids. Oh, and the Saturday morning cartoons that came on ABC like Recess and Pepperann. 84. What do you like but are kind of embarrassed to admit? I don’t feel embarrassed about anything I like. 85. What’s your favorite smell? When an attractive guy smells good, oh my. <<< That really is nice. And the ocean/beachy air, rain, patchouli, sandalwood, fruity scents, minty scents, cinnamon, coffee, freshly baked goods and the smells of my favorite foods... 86. What skill or ability have you always wanted to learn? I wish I took piano more seriously back when I used to practice. 87. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had? Recently, it was the pizza I had last week.  88. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid? Anywhere with my cousins. 89. What’s the most amount of people you had to present something in front of? Like 30+. Presenting in front of anyone is a nightmare. 90. If you could go back in time as an observer, no one could see you, and you couldn’t interact with anything, when would you want to go back to? Ooh. I’d have to really think about that. 91. What’s something that most people haven’t done, but you have? Hmm. 92. What says the most about a person? How they present themselves. 93. What machine or appliance in your house aggravates you the most? None, really. Unless it’s not working for some reason. 94. What places have you visited that exceeded your expectations? Certain vacation spots and restaurants. 95. If you opened a business, what type of business would you start? I wouldn’t. 96. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a really bad movie. 97. What’s the best road trip you’ve been on? Trip to Idaho back in the summer of 2010. A lot of my family on my mom’s side went and it was really fun. We had no idea it would be the last time we’d see my grandpa before he died the end of that year. It happened really fast. He wasn’t even sick like that when we visited him that summer. At least, he didn’t appear to be. That trip ended up being even more special. 98. If you found a briefcase filled with 1 million in 100$ bills in front of your door, what would you do with it? Check for ID or if anyone has reported it missing. Otherwise, I’d keep it. 99. What’s the worst advice someone has given you? I don’t know. 100. Besides your home and your work, where do you spend most of your time? I’m always at home.  101. If you could have the answer to any one question, what question would you want the answer to? Hmm.  102. What are your top 3 favorite things to talk about? Common interests, celebrity/entertainment gossip, some current event type stuff. 103. What do you care least about? It would seem like myself. 104. Where would you like to retire? I’m not even thinking about that right now. I’m not even working. :X 105. Who is the most bizarre person you’ve met? Uhh. 106. What are people often surprised to learn about you? What happened to me that made me a paraplegic. 107. Would you rather live full time in an RV or full time on a sailboat? RV. 108. What would you do with the extra time if you never had to sleep? I really wouldn’t want that. I want my sleep. I need that escape. 109. When you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being a grown up? You think you can do whatever you want. 110. What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? I can’t think of any strange ways. 111. What’s your go-to series or movie when you want to watch something but can’t find anything to watch? If I can’t find something to watch on TV then I tend to just put it on the ID channel. 112. What were some of the turning points in your life? My accident, surgeries, graduating, health related things. 113. What companies made you so mad that you would rather suffer bodily harm than give them any more of your money? I’ve never been that upset with a company.  114. What small things brighten up your day when they happen? When what happens? 115. What sports would be funniest if the athletes had to be drunk while playing? I still wouldn’t care to watch sports. 116. What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done because you were bored? Just sleep. 117. If you could send one letter to yourself in the past without the goal of making yourself rich (no lotto numbers, stock picks, etc.), what age would you choose and what would the letter say? I’d go back to like...high school days and warn myself of some things and tell myself to take better care of myself. 118. How many other countries have you visited? Just one. 119. What’s your favorite band NAME (not necessarily your favorite band)? Panic! At the Disco. I just like the “Panic!” part, ha. And why at the disco? What happened? 120. What do you miss about life 10 or 20 years ago? My life wasn’t ran by my health. 121. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas.  122. What’s getting worse and worse as you get older? What’s getting better and better as you get older? Worse: health and life. Better: .... 123. Where’s the best place in (your town or city) to have a picnic? I guess a park. 124. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors? Go to the beach.  125. How often do you dance? Silly/ironic dancing counts. I may bob my head while listening to music. 126. What do you never get tired of? Coffee. 127. What habit do you wish you could start? Better self-care things. 128. What’s the best way to get to know who someone really is? Just spending time getting to know them. Oh, and seeing how they act in public situations.  129. What’s the last new thing you tried? A new type of pizza last week. 130. Who besides your parents taught you the most about life? I’d say experiences have. 131. When are you the most “you” that you can be? In other words, when do you feel most like yourself? At home in my comfort zone. 132. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done? *shrug* I’m not very spontaneous. 133. What’s happening now, that in 20 years people will look back on and laugh about? A lot of things, I’m sure. Like how easily people get all up in an uproar about literally everything. 134. How much social interaction is too much? I can’t handle much. 135. How different do you act when you are with acquaintances vs. people you are comfortable with? I’m just more guarded and aware, I guess.  136. On a weekend or holiday, what’s the best time of day and the best time of night? All the days are the same to me.  137. What are you looking forward to that’s happening soon? Beach trip. 138. What really cheesy song do you love? There’s plenty of those. 139. What’s the worst or best job you’ve had? I’ve never had one. 140. What’s been the most significant plot twist in your own life? I never saw this downward spiral coming after I graduated in 2015. It really went downhill after that. 141. Where did you take family vacations to when you were younger? Disneyland and beachy, touristy places. 142. What’s your go-to funny story? I don’t know. 143. If the company you work for / the college you go to had an honest slogan, what would it be? I don’t work and I’m done with school. 144. If you could instantly receive a Ph.D. in any discipline including all the knowledge and experience that goes along with it, what would your Ph.D. be in? I don’t want one, though. I’m not even doing anything with my BA. 145. How well do you cope when you don’t have your phone with you for an extended period of time? I’m fine. 146. What were some of the happiest times of your life so far? Various times in my life with family, childhood, vacations. 147. Would you rather have an incredibly fast car or incredibly fast internet speed? Incredibly fast internet speed. 148. What are the top three social situations you try to avoid most? Any social situation? ha. 149. What friendship you’ve had has impacted you the most? The friendship Ty and I had. 150. What’s something you’re interested in that most people wouldn’t expect? I don’t know. 151. What’s your favourite quote or saying?

152. If you had the power to change one law, what law would you change? Uhhhh. 153. What’s the hardest you’ve worked for something? My BA degree. Ha. What a waste now. 154. What took you way too long to figure out? My stubbornness caused me a lot of problems. I didn’t think things could get the way they are, but they sure did.  155. What nicknames have you had throughout your life? Steph and Sis. 156. What do you do differently than most people? A lot of things, probably. 157. Where’s the last place you’d ever go? Space. 158. What fact floored you when you heard it? I can’t think, man. 159. If you unexpectedly won 10,000$, what would you spend it on? I’d want to travel for sure. Take me awayyyy. 160. Who is the best role model a person could have? That depends on you and what you’re aspiring to be.

[a-writing-bear]

[AmeriPan] Chapter 1: The ‘Hell on Earth’ Task Agency

Ao3 Link:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13286367

This Has been cross-posted onto Ao3 under Aliases: BearBooper

You can read this Fic on tumblr under ‘Keep Reading’

Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers

Main Pairing: Alfred F. Jones & Kiku Honda (America & Japan)

AU:  Demon AU/HellTaskAgency!AU - Demon!America & Businessman!Japan

Age Rating/Mature:  Teen And Up Audiences (12+ due to mentions of mature themes as well as swearing)

Trigger Warnings: None in this chapter (Future addiction to mention themes such as crime, murder, corruption etc.)

Summary: The ‘Hell on Earth’ Task Agency is a project run by the Underworld offices in hopes of integrating localised haunting and corruption on earth by assigning Demons a human identity in order to get closer to their victims- err…persons of interests, thus creating a more sustainable and longlasting reign of chaos over mankind.

Alfred and his brother had been assigned to this new department of hell after a small disagreement with his higher-ups. Now tasked with pushing a Japanese businessman to screw over a major tech company and overall commit a huge betrayal to the human’s friend, Alfred discovered humans are more complex than just souls ready to commit sins.

“Hah, The landlord tried to flirt with me.” the door behind him slammed, pushing into the room he flopped onto their new blood red couch, “She even called me ‘devilishly handsome’! If she only knew.” His company who was busy fixing up their new home let out a chuckle himself. It seems to be that people of late, have severely forgotten that the power of seduction was genuinely a tool of the devil; which by all means is an incredibly worrying thing to forget. Of course, the lowest setting a demon could maintain was a great amount of attraction that he could naturally elicit from any passing victim - Alfred, being the good rascal he was, tried not to draw too much attention to his otherworldly skill, or at least attempt to not use it to sway over his new human companions. Now that he thought about it, Matthew could have made it easier for the both of them if he had just flirted with the real estate agent…but of course his twin’s attempt to ‘get used to mankind’ got in the way of easy living, as if creatures like them could be apart of this whole ‘humanity’ thing.

It just didn’t make sense to have demons residing on Earth.

Not that he wasn’t used to earth, he had been overloaded with useless duties and tasks of tricking people into convoluted sins before, however whispering into a teen’s ear to lie or persuading a priest to lust was entirely different to actually interacting with their former victims. There would no longer be any more retreats back to the underworld.

“Why the FUCK did we agree to this again?” he groaned out to his fellow being who had been mulling over their belongings. Matthew had sighed, answering uninterested as he unpacked a cardboard box which had bluntly been labelled ‘Ritual Candles’. “ I didn’t agree to anything. You got us stuck up here. If you hadn’t complained about our last assign-” Alfred whined once more, his new body heaved in a grumpy manner. Ruffling his new golden locks of hair he lamented his past decision regrettably.

He didn’t mean he found things boring, he had only complained to Arthur that hovering around unemployed youths and deranged psychopaths was…too easy. His brother and himself were young demons capable of changing the world, of creating more chaos! And his complaints absolutely did not mean transfer the duo to the Hell on Earth Task Agency (HETA for short). The green-eyed devil who had been their handlers decided that this ‘small complaint’ of his deserved unfair treatment - a sentence to a 200 year assignment based in the worst conditions: Living among man and playing pretend human to conduct more research into integration programs. Recently the underworld has become open to the idea of placing task forces onto earth long term in order to proceed with mischief in a localised constant area - HETA was notorious for making talented demons die of overwork as it seemed that to create long-term issues through small factors was apparently harder than people thought.

One thing that was strange about working with HETA was they weren’t allowed to use cloaking anymore and instead were given human forms to fit in - no one would trust horned winged monsters if they saw one anyway. It was fitting that he and Matthew looked similar, ‘twins’ even in these bodies, but the differences were more prominent in the new forms - while he had been clad in a bomber jacket the other was given a red hoodie, his brother was given a pretty shade of strawberry-blonde hair while his shone like gold in light, both charming in their own ways. Honestly, Alfred felt guilty as he had dragged his brother into this mess and could hear the clear disgruntled murmurs of ‘I miss my wings’ or ‘Fuckin-why did they give us glasses?’ but they had always been a duo. It didn’t make sense for them to be split up so Arthur had allowed the request for both the boys to be transferred.

As if a miracle (Did God even grant miracles to demons?) Alfie had struck solid luck as his assigned victim- er ‘Research Candidate’ was a 24 yr old Japanese man destined to ruin betray his friend’s business. Sounds fun. According to the profile given, Kiku was not exactly innocent but not clearly sinful to the point where he had already been given a ticket to hell.

You Have Been Assigned to:

Name - Kiku Honda

Age - 24

Sexuality - Unconfirmed (Pending)

Summary -

Business and Tech Grad, Recently moved to America to work with his friend’s expanding company, HyperTech. Has conceived thoughts of deception and thievery via betrayal, Set to go. Quiet and reserved.

Task -

Assist Honda to claim control of HyperTech within 20 years in order to allow for corruption scandal in year 2XXX.

Alfred hummed contently, his target appeared relatively interesting, not to mention the photo of the guy was good-looking, although the report’s statement in terms of the man’s preference was a blur. That didn’t matter, sometimes if lust couldn’t convince then greed surely coaxed humans into silly games. Besides, this man was a typical businessman….yawn. Had he to follow an overzealous money muncher? Did Matthew get a better pick?

“Yo Mattie, who did Artie assign you?

Nonchalantly Matthew recalled the info from this folder: “A banker and his personal assistant. Siblings too.”

“Yikes. What’s your end goal? I’m guessing it’s not petty thievery..”

“Nah they’ve committed that already- the brother has contemplated murder, his younger sister’s also in the same boat. Apparently, it ties into your case.” Alfred looked at his brother in awe, envying how he had been given 2 targets with a higher chaos rating, way cooler than his pitiful 1 target corruption. Tutting with annoyance he got up from the woven couch and assisted his brother with unpacking their materialised goodies they had brought from the afterlife.

Mornings- contrary to popular belief- always sucked, Nevermind the fact it was an unusually bright clear New York city morning. Usually, Kiku was organised enough to leave his apartment full on a good breakfast and a mind ready to sit down over paperwork his fellow co-workers dumped on him yet today was just not vibing well with him. He wondered if he should just call in sick, deciding not to as he realised Yao would skin him alive for trying to lie (they’ve known each other long enough to tell when one is acting). Call it the ‘friday spirit’ or whatever he managed to get up. It took every ounce of motivation to roll out of bed and change into a pressed suit for an early morning meeting. Leaving his clean and immaculate apartment, The Japanese man had fumbled into the hallway with distracted disinterest over a handful of business documents. Bumping into a tall yet less than a graceful figure who had been carrying a heavy box, they had both been caught off guard.

Just as the Asian nearly fell face forward to almost crumpling his nice suit, the mystery man had grabbed him by his satchel, quickly pulling him back before he touched the hallway floor. Kiku turned to say a polite thank you, only to find what must be the biggest and goofiest grins he had ever witnessed. Introducing himself, the American man, now known as Alfred, explained he was to be a new neighbour along with his sibling and that he would expect to ‘see each other around’. Kiku hoped his monotone face and his friendly hum in reply would suffice as he was already running late. Yao was gonna kill him.

Hastily he bidded farewell to the new occupants and made his way to the elevator, dusting off his shirt and readjusting his satchel. it was only then he realised his cheeks were warm. There was something interesting about Alfred. Shaking his head, Kiku huffed and somehow got to the office with five minutes to spare. A small smile and slight of the head towards the secretary, he entered the meeting room just in time to face his childhood friend, rival(?) and boss all in one.

“ おはようございます, Yao before you interrupt me: Yes I’m later than usual. Not Late though.”*

That teasing smug face melted into an expression dipped in familiarity. The Chinese man always looks incredibly different in a western suit, as if the red tie was the only thing that reminded Kiku of Wang Yao’s Chinese heritage. Pre-meeting conversations such as plans for the weekends, or that co-worker’s new promotion bored him but his respectful nature kept the black haired male nodding, feigning interest as Yao spoke about his new intern he was mentoring. Suddenly out of nowhere someone had asked about his morning - clearly not aware of his unresponsive behaviour this morning.

“Got new neighbours. Hoping they aren’t loud, they look quite young- like those millennial types.” he answered quietly, Yao stifled a laugh before commenting on how Kiku could accidentally be mistaken as an old man if he kept describing them like that. Finally, the meeting began, along with his drifting head which was not in tune for a morning discussion.

Offhandedly, towards the end just as he was packing up to leave back to his office, the Chinese man reminded Kiku: “Don’t forget on Monday you’ve got people coming in, you need to interview them for that personal assistant job soon.” Grimacing, he did not look forward to that. He worked well alone. Looking on the bright side he considered that at least he’ll have someone else to deal with schedules and admin work, this could be a little bit of a break- It’s not like it could be that bad.

Besides, there would be hell to pay if Yao had drafted any annoyances for the job.

[naomiknight-17]

Next time she visits I should wear a binder

It'll break her brain lol

My oldest sister does NOT get gender and sexuality stuff oh my goddddddd

Tried to tell her a family member of ours transitioned and her immediate response was

"So she has a PENIS now!!?!??"

Like. Where do I even start.

He. And whether he has a penis is not your business.

And when I mentioned being nonbinary she was like "but you still have boobs so you're female" and I was like. Sis. Biology and gender are not the same thing

Just because I don't want to go have surgery about it, doesn't mean my gender is not valid

God bless her I love her she is my sister but oh my god she Does Not Get It