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apocalypseornaw · 4 years ago

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Keep Me From You

For the square "Temporary amnesia" on @girl-next-door-writes make me feel bingo

Warnings: mention of injury,cursing

Word Count: 10,201

Smidge of angst but lots of fluff

“Dean I’m fine. A few scratches but I’ll be home soon and you’re more than welcome to play nurse” You’d left a few days before to help Claire out on a hunt and had called him to say you were only about an hour out from Lebanon. “So you want me to wear the uniform and all?” he teased and heard you laugh. That was a sound that he’d always loved. “Of course I want the uniform, why would you even ask?” A smile slipped onto his face as hearing just how truly happy you sounded to be coming home to him. He’d never imagined getting this. Someone who really did love him and not only understood the life but lived it as well. “I’ll see you soon sweetheart” “Better be waiting for me at the door….” Your sentence was cut short by the sound of tires squealing then a hard hit.

Dean knew a wreck when he heard one and his heart fell to his feet “Y/N!” when you didn’t reply he screamed your name again which brought Sam running into the room. “What’s wrong?” Dean was already on his feet grabbing the keys to the impala “Y/N’s been in a wreck. We gotta get to her”

By the time Dean and Sam rolled on scene a passerby had called 911. Multiple cop cars, a couple ambulances and even a fire truck had the night lit brightly. Dean barely stopped the car from rolling before he was jumping out. Your car was on it’s side, the driver door crumpled in. “Y/N!” before he could get close Sam grabbed him along with three of the firemen on scene “Sir! We already got her out! She’s in the ambulance!”

Dean looked to see the ambulance in question pulling away “Is she alive?” The firemen nodded solemnly “She’s in critical condition but she’s alive” Sam pulled him back towards the impala “C’mon we’ll beat them to the hospital. We know her Dean she’s strong” Sam nodded to the firemen that he had Dean so they headed to finish cleaning up the scene. Dean looked at your car once more before following Sam “If the other driver isn’t in bad shape..I’ll kill em”

------

Sam took the lead to speak with the doctors because by the time they got to the hospital he didn’t really trust Dean to not throw a punch. “Mr Evanson..your sister in law is in critical condition as you were told at the scene. She was hit by a drunk driver that ran a red light. She’s got multiple contusions, a fractured skull and a dislocated shoulder” the fake names had you as Dean’s wife should something like this happen and Eileen as Sam’s. Helped to have insurance and provided a cover story so all of you could get updates on each other should injuries ever occur severe enough to warrant a hospital trip.

Before Sam could open his mouth to ask any questions further about your condition Dean spoke up “Let me guess the bastard that hit her is just fine right?” Sam couldn’t really blame Dean. You were one of his best friends and knowing you made it out of a hunt just fine to turn around and get hurt this severely by an idiot who drank too much and chose to get behind the wheel was more than upsetting. “Mr Evanson I know you’re upset but I assure you we’re doing everything for your wife we can” Sam could tell Dean was doing what he did best which was to lean into anger more than any other emotion so before he could fire off threats to a doctor or worse Sam grabbed his arm then looked back at the doctor “When can we see her?” “As soon as she’s settled into the room I’ll send a nurse out to get both of you”

The moment the doctor stepped away Dean spun around and hit the wall hard enough his fist left a hole in the plaster. “She was talking to me Sam. What if I distracted her? What if she would’ve seen him sooner if she hadn’t been on the phone?” “Dean, don't do that to yourself. This isn’t your fault” It shocked Sam more than anything to see Dean wasn’t trying to hide the tears in his eyes when he faced him “I can’t lose her Sammy” “You won’t. I’m gonna call Eileen and Jody to let them know. She’ll be ok. Let the doctors do what they can then if need be we’ll find other means to help her. She’s strong, she’s a fighter and honestly I think it would take a lot more than a wreck to keep her from your side” “Let’s hope you’re right”

------

A little over an hour passed with Sam and Dean pacing across the waiting room. The other inhabitants of it and staff alike were giving both men a wide berth, Dean even moreso. The air around him was thick with the mixture of anger at you being in this shape and fear at the possibility of losing you.

When a nurse finally walked in and asked “Mr Evanson and brother?” Dean snatched his head up “Over here” she smiled warmly at him “Your wife is out of surgery and stable. Would you and your brother like to see her?” “Please” Dean managed trying to remember it wasn’t this woman’s fault you were hurt.

------

The walk to your room felt longer than anything Dean had even endured. When he walked in to see your still form he could feel his hands ball into fists. You were the single most important person on the face of the earth to him besides Sam. Your head was bandaged, your left shoulder was in a sling and both arms had gauze nearly covering every surface. “When’s she gonna wake up?” Sam asked knowing Dean needed an answer but also knowing his brother wouldn’t be very good at communicating at the moment.

“That’s a tricky question. It’s really up to her. She’s in stable condition, there’s no bleeding on her brain. Now it’s just up to her body” “Thank you. Can we stay with her a while?” “You both can stay an hour but only one can stay overnight” “Thank you” the nurse walked away and Sam turned back to see Dean was motionless at the foot of your bed.

“Dean?” Sam called jarring him out of his thoughts. “She’s a hunter. I’ve seen her hurt and I’ve known that there was always a possibility of something happening to one of us but she was fine, she was headed home and laughing” Dean had walked up next to your bed and left his fingers barely brush against the leather bracelet tied around your wrist. It was a gris-gris gifted to you by a witch in New Orleans three years before, just a couple months before you and Dean had gotten together actually.

You’d helped her out and it was supposed to protect you from evil. You hadn’t taken it off since citing that it was a lucky charm too considering you hadn’t gotten seriously injured on a hunt in quite a while. Turned out it only worked on supernatural beings not human actions. “She’s gonna be ok Dean” Sam repeated as Dean gently took your hand in both of his and sat down in the chair next to the bed before looking up at his little brother “How can you be so sure?” “I’ve seen her fight and I’ve seen how much she loves you. She’s not leaving us like this”

------

The two of them stayed like that for the next hour barely talking, simply watching you breathe. When the hour passed Sam headed back to the bunker while Dean stayed rooted in the chair holding your hand. “Remember when we first met? God I thought you hated me because of my dad..he had a habit of turning people into enemies. I’ve never seen Bobby laugh as hard as talking about the time you backed dad down on a hunt by calling him a washed out jarhead that didn’t know a vampire from a rugaru. Baby you’ve survived so much..you’re stronger than anyone I know” he didn’t even realize he was crying before the droplet hit your hand.

“Please come back to me. I don’t want to do this without you. I love you” he nearly whispered the last part willing you to hear him and open your eyes.

------

For three days Dean sat at your side. Sam would bring food and clothes. Eileen had of course headed back to Lebanon when she heard what happened and Jody along with all the girls had been in near constant contact. You had so many people behind you but the horrifying reality was it didn’t matter how much backup you had this time. This fight was a solo one.

The nurses and doctors assured him that you were healing. Your body was simply mending itself and keeping you asleep to save energy to do so. He didn’t care about anything they said he needed you awake to see for himself that you were ok.

It was during visitor hours so Eileen was sitting across the room flipping through a magazine while Sam had gone after coffee. The hardest thing for any of them was simply being forced to sit around and wait to see if you’d wake up on your own. Of course Rowena was digging around to see about some spells to help speed up healing but those were a bit fragile and out of her usual wheelhouse which was to cause damage to someone instead of healing them.

“Dean they were out of sugar so I had to put artificial sweetener in yours” Sam spoke from the doorway as he walked into the room. Dean shrugged “I don’t care” Sam shared a look with Eileen when he handed her coffee over. She signed “I’m worried about him” so Sam nodded and mouthed “Me too” before walking over to hold Dean’s coffee out to him.

Dean took it then looked back at the bed “Why isn’t she awake yet Sammy?” “Head injuries take a little more to heal Dean” Sam offered but knew it was of little solace. All of them wanted nothing more than for you to wake up. Sam walked back over to stand next to Eileen but a movement of your hand had all of them on their feet and next to the bed “Y/N?” Dean spoke first and when you opened your eyes they all shared a sigh of relief “Thank god baby” Dean breathed moving to press a kiss to your lips but you snatched your head away “Dean, what the hell?”

------

Your head felt like it’d been run over by a truck. You felt like you were drunk and there wasn’t a body part that didn’t hurt. When you finally forced your eyes open you realized you were in a hospital room. Sam, Dean and Eileen was next to your bed meaning you must have gotten hurt on a hunt but you couldn’t remember how.

“Thank god baby” baby? Did Dean just call you baby? Before you could ask he leaned forward as if to kiss you so you snatched your head away not missing the look on his face as you said “Dean, what the hell?”

“Y/N? What's the last thing you remember?” Eileen asked stepping closer to the bed while Dean backed away obviously hurt but you weren’t sure why he’d called you baby or tried to kiss you. You were friends yeah but he’d never acted like he had those feelings for you. You realized your head hurt even worse when you tried to think of why he would be hurt but a memory finally came to you of you and Eileen working a shifter case in Austin. “The shifter?” you asked hesitantly and saw her eyes widened.

“Eileen? What’s wrong?” you asked grimacing when you tried to sit up further only to realize your left arm was in a sling. Sam moved to help you and you noticed Dean looking rather lost standing off to the side of the room. She looked over at him sympathetically before finally saying “Y/N that case was over three years ago”

------

Three years? You’d lost three years worth of memories. Dean had slipped out the room after alerting the Doctor Rhodes you were awake and once Eileen assured Sam she’d stay at your side he went after his brother. You were only half listening to the doctors as they gave a run down of the wreck you’d been in and the injuries you’d received. “Well if you’re saying my brain is fine why the hell do I have a three year gap in my memory?” you knew you were being a bit blunt but given the circumstances you felt it was warranted.

“Mrs Evanson this is common in an injury like yours” the nurse nearest you spoke so you cut your eyes at Eileen silently questioning the name they’d called you. She smiled and touched Doctor Rhodes on the shoulder. When he turned to look at her she motioned to you “Can I have a few moments alone with her before you take her for tests?” he looked back at you then nodded. After he and the nurses finally exited your room giving a warning that transport would be there in twenty to take you down for a cat scan Eileen came over and sat gently on the side of your bed facing you “Ask” You looked around the room eyes settling on Dean’s jacket that he’d left draped over the back of one of the chairs “What have I missed?” she followed your line of sight over her shoulder then smiled sadly before looking back at you “The shifter case was only a month before you and Dean got together” “We’ve been together three years?” you asked making sure you were facing her fully as you spoke. “Yeah. For the insurance he’s listed as your husband and Sam’s listed as mine since me and him have been together two and a half years”

You felt tears sting your eyes as the realization of why Dean had looked so hurt when you pulled away from him hit you at once “Why don’t I remember? God he must hate me” She covered your right hand with hers lacing your fingers together and the familiarity of that small action bought a smile to your face as she leaned down to look you in the eye before saying “Believe me when I say there is nothing on earth you could do to make that man hate you sweetie. Now I’ll be here when they get you back from the tests but I’m gonna go find him and Sam in the meantime ok?” you nodded not trusting your voice at the moment so she kissed your forehead then nodded to the nurse that had just just stepped into the door before walking out.

------

Eileen found Sam and Dean outside in the parking lot. They were leaned against the side of the impala staring at the entrance of the hospital. When they saw her they both pushed off the car Sam getting to her side first while Dean was a little slower to approach “How is she?” Sam asked and Eileen shrugged “She found out she’s missing three years. How would you be?” Then her eyes drifted over to Dean “She’s afraid you’re gonna hate her because she doesn’t remember being with you” “I could never hate her especially for something that’s not her fault” he quickly replied and she nodded “That’s what I told her but I think you need to be in the room too when she gets back from having her scans done”

------

You were in short terrified. The scans showed that your skull was healing quite well actually and as far as structural wise your brain was in good shape and according to Doctor Rhodes your memory loss was more than likely temporary. The bad news? In cases like yours those memories could return in a matter of weeks or a matter of years. There was no way to estimate the amount of time it would take from one person to the next.

“When can I go home?” you asked adding in your head the fact that you weren’t exactly sure where home was these days. “In a couple days at this rate and I’d say within two to four weeks you can return to normal life” There was a knock on the door and one of the nurses peeked her head in “Her husband, brother in law and sister in law want to come in” Doctor Rhodes looked back at you so you nodded with a small smile “Do you remind going back over what you’ve told me?”

“Of course” he nodded to the nurse so she stepped back out and a moment later Eileen walked in trailed by Sam then finally Dean “Mr Evanson your wife asked me to go over the findings from her test with the three of you” you barely met Dean’s eyes while he listened to Doctor Rhodes despite the fact that his gaze never left your face. When the doctor mentioned you’d be going home in a couple days if you stayed healing at this rate Dean shared a look with Eileen that you didn’t miss before the three of them thanked the doctor then he excused himself.

“So turns out I was right Dean, you do have the harder head” you tried to tease but heard your voice fall flat at the end. You wanted nothing more to remember the last three years of your life. The three people standing in front of you meant the most to you yet you could only remember so much and apparently now shared your life with one of them but couldn’t so much as remember ever sharing a kiss with him.

“Y/N..Eileen told me what you said” Dean spoke, stepping closer to the bed. He tapped the bed close to your leg but didn’t touch you “Sweetheart there’s nothing that could make me hate you. I was on the phone with you when the wreck happened. I’ve never been more afraid in my life and just seeing you awake? That’s a win for me” “I want to remember if that helps any Dean.I wish I did because it seems we’re happy” “I’d like to think we are” he replied with a small smile. You moved your leg closer to his hand so he took the hint to gently touch you near your ankle.

“While we’re all here talking..can someone tell me where is home for me?” you asked embarrassed over not being able to remember such a small detail “Um you live at the bunker” Sam answered cutting his eyes at Dean who nodded “You’ve been living there for about two years full time” “Oh then I guess we’re really serious then huh?” your voice was low enough you weren’t exactly sure Dean had heard you until he said “Yeah” meeting your eyes for a second before clearing his throat “Um visitation is over in an hour. I was gonna stay but if that’s weird for you I’m sure Eileen or Sam would”

“Of course” they both spoke over each other then shared a small smile. Your heart ached seeing the look on Dean’s face at the two of them so in sync while you didn’t remember him. “Maybe Eileen could stay? She can help fill in some blanks since I remember hunting with her last?” you offered and Dean nodded “Of course sweet..Y/N” you noticed how he stopped himself from calling you sweetheart. Christ you’d been friends with Dean for so long. He was the best man you’d ever known but you also knew he had the self worth of a grape and you could only imagine what this was doing to him. “Thank you Dean” you whispered and he smiled slightly “Of course”

------

Dean didn’t really talk much before him and Sam left for the night but he did ask if you wanted him to bring you a change of clothes since the nurse said you could shower with assistance the next morning. “Please” you told him and with a sharp nod he was out of the room. Sam left a quick kiss on Eileen’s lips then one on your forehead before quickly following after him.

You watched the door where they’d disappeared for several seconds before Eileen touched your arm gently and you jumped which pulled a small smile to her face “Are you ok?” she asked so you nodded then turned your head to look at her fully “I was in love with him wasn’t I?” she slowly nodded. You let out a breath then leaned your head back against the pillows before asking “How did that shifter case turn out anyways?” she laughed then went into the story talking and signing what had happened trying to catch you up to speed without overwhelming you.

------

Sam found Dean sitting in the library at one of the long tables around three in the morning. There was a bottle of bourbon in front of him and a glass with a piece of ice watering down what of the brown liquid was in it. “Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, pulling the chair out across from Dean after grabbing himself a glass. Dean cut his eyes up at him “Would you be able to if it was Eileen?” “No” Sam wasn’t even going to attempt to lie, Dean knew him too well. “I don’t want to put any stress on her because she doesn’t remember”

“You’re not. She knows now that you’re not mad that she doesn’t remember. Give Eileen a little time to ease her into the last few years besides Doctor Rhodes said her memory could be fully back within a couple weeks” “Or a couple years” Dean interrupted which earned him a glare from Sam “If you’ve ever had faith in anything..have faith in Y/N” “What if this is nature’s way of a course correction? She deserves better than me and maybe this is the universe trying to say that”

Sam reached over and pulled the glass out of Dean’s grip then moved the bottle for good measure before saying “The only thing this says is that assholes shouldn’t drink and drive. She’s coming home in a couple days Dean and the familiar setting may help her memory..Rowena is getting there with the spells especially now that she knows to tweak it to memory wise. We’re gonna get her memory back Dean..we will” “I hope you’re right Sam, I really do”

------

Today was a big step in the right direction. You were finally checking out the hospital to head home. Eileen had mentioned Cas would be at the bunker when you got there so that meant at least for your physical wounds you could get healed, who knows maybe angel mojo would effect your memory as well? Not likely but it didn’t hurt to hope did it?

When the nurse knocked on the door she smiled to see you were tying your sneakers onto your feet. Eileen had stayed in the room with you while Dean went to pull the impala around to the exit you’d be coming out of. “Must I ride in the wheelchair? I mean I think I’m capable of walking” you asked and she grimaced “Sorry Mrs Evanson it’s hospital policy” Eileen winked at you then teased “Besides you get to ride in style out” riding in style was the collection of get well soon items that had found their way to your room from your friends. The one you liked the best was the little stuffed wolves that Garth and Bess had sent by Donna. The nurses didn’t quite understand the significance of them but you’d seen even a small smile work it’s way onto Dean’s face. Over the next few days though it was only supposed to be the four of you at the bunker well plus Cas. You weren’t being anti-social but you could also only bare so much guilt at a time from not remembering certain things.

Eileen bumped your arm and when you glanced her way she signed “Stop it” “You don’t read minds” you replied and she winked “No but you I can read” you sighed and climbed into the wheelchair while Eileen grabbed the bag carrying your presents. Sam was back at the bunker apparently switching your belongings to a different room. Eileen had let it slip that he offered to do it so Dean wouldn’t have to.

“Take me away” you told the nurse who smiled “I can say you have remained in good spirits the entire time you’ve been here and that bodes quite well for your recovery” you shrugged your good shoulder as she pushed you out the door “I can wallow or deal. I always work better by gritting my teeth and doing what I gotta do regardless”

------

The sun was bright in the sky when you finally were wheeled out of the exit. When Dean saw the three of you he quickly came around to open the passenger door and moved to help you but stopped just sigh of touching you then looked at your face for the ok. When you reached for his hand his whole body seemed to relax slightly “Mrs Evanson you have a follow up for a scan in three weeks but if any new symptoms occur such as headaches, blurry vision, dizziness feel free to come in before and if any pain outside the expected occurs feel free to come back in”

“She will” Dean and Eileen answered in unison so you shot the nurse a smile “I have a lot of people looking after me. I’ll be fine”

After you were in the passenger seat the nurse waved then headed back inside. Eileen climbed in the backseat behind you and reached up to pat your shoulder reassuringly while Dean walked around to climb in the driver’s seat. “Ready to go?” he asked and you nodded “Let’s get home”

------

You vaguely remembered the internal set up of the bunker. You’d been there a time or two and even stayed the night once but as far as knowing it as well as you should considering how long you’d apparently been calling the bat cave home? You were far from it.

Eileen headed down the stairs first followed by Dean then you walking slowly down. Everything in the map room was pretty much how you remembered it including the angel sitting at the table talking to Sam who smiled when he saw the three of you “Y/N” you pulled him into a hug as best as you could “You’re a sight for sore eyes there Cas” he ducked his head and started to explain “I couldn’t exactly come to the hospital to heal you” “I understand Cas. Just saying it’s good to see you” he nodded then looked to your left arm “Can I?” “Please” you replied with an excited smile.

Cas had healed you before but it was always a bit surreal. He laid his hand palm down on your forehead and you felt the warmth spread throughout your body. You closed your eyes and felt your shoulder stitch itself back and the tender spot in your head from the fractured skull fade to a dull ache then disappeared all together.

When you opened your eyes everyone in the room was staring at you expectantly. You tried to force memories of being with Dean into your mind but they refused to come. You shook your head sadly “Healed me physically” “I’m sorry Y/N. Memory is something different than physical injuries” Cas apologized but you shook your head “No Cas. Thank you. Since the physical part is no longer an issue I can start trying to concentrate on my memory”

You didn’t miss the disappointed look in Dean’s eyes and apparently neither did Eileen because she touched your arm “Y/N why don’t I show you your room?” you smiled appreciatively at her “Sounds good. Cas are you staying?” he shook his head “No I’ve got to get back” you hugged him again “In that case be careful out there and thank you again”

------

You heard the three guys talking while you let Eileen direct you down the hall and tried to block it out. One worry at a time. She pointed to one door “That’s mine and Sam’s room” then pointed to the next door “This one is empty” the door a little further down the hall she pointed to “Um this is Dean’s room” you swallowed hard at the unadded words which were “Until a few days ago this was your room as well” and followed her down to the room right to Dean’s “This one is yours”

You walked in behind her and looked around the room. You recognized the weapons laid about as your own. That was definitely your jacket tossed across the chair in the corner. A black blanket with red swirls was folded on the foot of the bed. When you touched it she smiled “That’s your blanket you usually want. Dean’s been using it but he got me to wash it and fold it for you” you nodded feeling very much overwhelmed “Um Eileen is it ok if I say I want to be alone?” she nodded “Of course. I’ll be in the library with the boys, your phone is on the charger so if you need me cause you know hollering for me won’t work” you managed a small laugh at that and signed “Thank you” since you know had use of both hands again.

She walked out and shut the door gently behind her. You sat on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. There was a since of familiarity tugging at you being in the bunker but you weren’t sure if it was true or just the fact of your own desire to remember. After a while you started feeling tired so you laid down across the bed pulling your blanket over you. A small nap wouldn’t hurt then maybe you could wander around a bit after everyone else went to bed.

------

You weren’t sure how long you’d been asleep when you heard a small knock at your door. You sat up smoothing a hand over your head “Yeah?” then kicked yourself when you realized it could be Eileen but the door opened before you could cross over to it and it was Sam standing in your doorway instead “Dean and Eileen ran into town to grab some food and a few other things we needed. I had to convince them both I would check on you” you smiled at that then stepped back so he could come into the room.

He sat down on the chair that your jacket was draped across so you sat down on the foot of the bed right across from him “How is he?” you asked and Sam raised an eyebrow “How are you?”

You sighed “Apparently I am in a stable relationship and can’t remember past being friends. At least Cas could get the wounds on the outside healed?” he nodded then glanced around before rubbing at the back of his neck “He’s ok” “Sam” you warned so he half smiled “He’s blaming himself of course. You were on the phone with him when the wreck happened” “Christ could it get any worse?” you groaned and Sam leaned up to gently touch your leg “Yeah. You could’ve died. We can deal with this. I know we can” you nodded and laid your hand on top of his “Thanks Sam” he smiled “So do you want to check out the rest of the bunker while it’s just the two of us or go back to sleep?”

“Can I sneek a peek in Dean’s room?” he shrugged “Hell why not?” You followed him out into the hall and stopped him right as he put his hand on the door leading into Dean’s room “Are you sure I should?” He nodded “Yeah. It may help” you took a breath and followed him in. The room didn’t look that much different then the one they had moved your things into at first then on second glance the differences popped out to you.

There was your shotgun on the wall underneath Dean’s. A photo of you, him, Eileen and Sam was on the nightstand. A few albums that were clearly your taste in music was next to his radio and there were two sets of headphones instead of one. You walked over slowly and picked up the photo. The boys were sitting on Jody’s couch and from the looks of it had pulled you and Eileen down into their lap probably seconds before the photo was snapped considering you and her were both laughing. “It was the day Alex got into nursing school” Sam explained coming to stand next to you looking over your shoulder at the photo.

“We all look so happy” you whispered running your fingertips across Dean’s face. “You’ll get your memory back just give it time” he replied and you sighed then sat the photo down “I know. Let’s check out the rest of the bunker so maybe I can have my nerve enough to face Dean by the time they get back”

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You had made your way into the library by the time Dean and Eileen came back from town. The few times you could remember coming here you’d been impressed by the extensive collection of lore this place held. You trailed your fingers along the spines of the books reading different titles. “I think you’ve read most of the books in here at least once” you heard from behind you and turned to see Dean leaned against the doorway watching you with a small smile on his face.

You sighed and said “Hopefully I’ll actually remember reading them sooner rather than later...well and other things too” the last part you added in a whisper but you saw the way his expression changed “Y/N I don’t care how long it takes I’m not going anywhere. You may not remember the last few years right now but I do, I know this is worth fighting for” “So you don’t blame yourself then?” you asked crossing your arms over your chest and saw the barest hint of a grin pulling at his lips again “Ok that look is too familiar and I’m guessing by you asking me that you’ve talked to Sam while we were gone?”

You nodded “Dean they said a drunk driver hit me. It wasn’t your fault hell if I hadn’t been on the phone with you it could've been a lot before all of you knew what had happened to me.” He nodded slowly “Not like you have always had a habit of kicking my ass if I’m too hard on myself” that made you laugh lightly “Ok that I do remember and yes someone needs to!”

He nodded back towards the kitchen “We got some food. Eileen tried to remember what your favorite was but couldn’t quite remember so we got a few different things” You smiled “I’m sure I’ll like whatever I’ve never really been picky” the two of you stood there after that staring at each other for a few heartbeats before you heard Sam call yours and Dean’s names “Guessing that’s our cue to come eat?” “Guessing so”

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You sat next to Eileen at the table turned halfway towards her so if you said anything she wouldn’t have to turn to read your lips. Sam was sitting across from her and Dean was across from you. You always loved california rolls but now you were simply pushing them around in the little tray. “Not hungry?” Sam asked motioning to your plate. You shrugged “Guess not. Want them?” Eileen reached over before Sam could move “I’ll take them” you laughed at the look on Sam’s face “Snooze ya lose Winchester”

You glanced over at Dean’s plate to see the burger in front of him was barely touched as well “Dean you’re not gonna eat?” he shrugged “Not that hungry” you sighed and drank the last little bit of your lemonade then stood up “I think I’m gonna grab a shower and call it an early night” “If you need anything” Eileen started and you nodded then signed “I know” Dean glanced up so you smiled “Night Dean” “Night Y/N” “Night Sam” you called over your shoulder before you walked out the kitchen and heard him say “Night” as you stepped into the hall.

------

Everything felt wrong. The bed felt wrong, your clothes felt wrong. There was a gaping hole craving the memories of the last three years and there was nothing you could do. You tossed and turned most of the night until finally calling it.

You dug around and found a thicker pair of socks so you pulled them onto your feet then grabbed the black and red blanket to wrap around your shoulders before stepping out into the hallway. You weren’t sure what part of the bunker you were headed to but you hoped maybe to clear the confusion in your head. The library called to you so you let your feet carry you in that direction.

You walked aimlessly around the rows of books letting your fingers graze some of them. God there was everything from classic literature that book collectors around the world would sell their souls for all the way to books describing just how bad of an idea that would be and why. You ended up not picking a book and instead just pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat down.

You smiled when you saw Sam and Dean’s initials carved into the tabletop. It matched where they’d carved their names in the impala back when they were kids. You traced Dean’s initials and seriously considered waking him up to talk but decided against it. Just like you needed time to adjust you were quite certain he needed some time too. One moment he’d been with a woman for three years the next that woman didn’t even have a memory of a shared kiss.

You sighed and pushed away from the table. You had seen a laptop in your room hopefully it wasn’t password protected,maybe you could watch a movie or something.

Within a week and a half of being released from the hospital you were going absolutely stir crazy and what was even worse you knew everyone was sitting out of cases to be there with you.

You walked out of your room after grabbing a shower and headed towards the kitchen. Sam and Eileen were normally up before Dean you’d learned so you were hoping it was just the two of them again. When you walked around the corner you nearly froze in your tracks to see Dean pouring a cup of coffee. He cut his eyes up and almost smiled when he saw you then motioned with the coffee in his hand “Want a cup?” You mentally kicked yourself as a reminder to speak and forced a small smile onto your face “Please”

He nodded and turned to grab another cup. You stood there not missing the looks Sam and Eileen were sharing while Dean poured the coffee and held the cup out to you. You took it from him letting your fingers barely touch his hand “Thanks Dean” “Sugar’s on the counter and creamer’s in the fridge” he replied with a tight smile then walked over to sit next to Sam.

You couldn’t help but over the conversation between the three of them which consisted of the fact that Donna apparently needed help and that Garth had asked Sam if him and Dean could check in on some strange occurrences. “Why don’t you all go?” you asked turning to face the three of them and repeating yourself in asl for Eileen. “We don’t want to leave you alone” you nodded slowly then said “I have a cell phone. Sam just gave me a new one all set up yesterday. Not to mention I’m in literally one of the safest places on earth. I think I can manage for a day or two. Seriously I feel horrible that I’m keeping all three of you cooped up, go I’ll be fine”

The three of them knew you well enough to know that if you had your mind set on something you were far too stubborn to let it go that easily. Sam and Eileen shared a few hushed words followed by Sam and Dean having a whispering match before Dean finally sighed loudly “Fine! I’ll meet you outside in twenty”

You watched him walk out then glanced at Sam questioningly “What was that about?” “He still doesn’t feel comfortable leaving you but he agreed to go check out Garth’s lead” Eileen looked up from her phone with a grin “I texted Donna that I’ll come help her and she said to tell you and I quote can’t wait till Y/N is back in action. I miss her face” you laughed lightly and said “Well be careful and tell Donna I miss her face too”

------

Sam and Eileen left to go grab what they needed so you wandered back towards your room but stopped when you saw Dean’s bedroom door was open. You knocked lightly on it and half a second later he stepped around it and stopped in his tracks when he realized it was in fact you and not Sam or Eileen. “Y/N..something wrong?” you shook your head “No I was just wondering if maybe I could talk to you just for a second?”

He stepped to the side and waved a hand into the room “Of course” you walked in and sat in one of the chairs at the small table in his room so he sat across from you. You took a deep breath before saying “Dean..if my memory doesn’t come back” “It will” he cut you off and you couldn’t help but smile at just how certain he sounded “Please let me talk” “Sorry go ahead”

You reached across the table and grabbed his hand. He stared down at your intertwined fingers as you started to speak again “If my memory doesn’t come back and you want to move on there’s no hard feelings” his eyes flew up to yours “Sweetheart I knew you’d hit your head hard but damn I didn’t realize it’d done you that bad” “What?” you asked with a shocked laugh.

He slowly raised your joined hands up to his mouth before just barely letting his lips brush across your knuckles “Y/N listen to me good here darling....I love you more than I ever dreamt possible. A future for me? Naw I never really thought about it before you but since the moment you first told me you love me I feel like maybe one day I can actually be the man worthy of you. I’m never walking away from you. If it takes two months or twenty years, I’ll still be right here” you had tears in your eyes by the time he’d finished talking “Christ no wonder I’m in love with you. Who would’ve thought Dean Winchester is a romantic at heart” he chuckled before saying “Only for you sweetheart..only for you”

You pulled your hand from his and saw his face fall slightly before you said “Come home in one piece?” “Nothing could keep me from you” he replied and you had a sense of almost dejavu as if that was something that was said a lot between the two of you but you didn’t want to ask and get his hopes up just for dejavu.

“Dean..you ready to go?” Sam called from the hall but stopped when he saw the two of you sitting across from each other “Or we can wait. A few minutes wont hurt” you held Dean’s eyes as you said “No Sam, you two need to get going. I’m gonna go see Eileen off” you stood to walk out but stopped to pat Sam’s shoulder “I expect you both back here just the way you’re leaving”

“Bye Dean” “Bye Y/N” you smiled at Sam then headed to tell Eileen your usual parting and wish her a safe hunt.

------

Everyone was due back to the bunker within a few hours so you were currently folding laundry in your room. Things were starting to hold a sense of familiarity to them but you weren’t certain if it was true or if you were simply wanting to remember so badly you were tricking your own brain into saying it remembered when it truly didn’t.

You’d started texting with Jody, Alex and Claire. You felt horrible that you didn’t remember Claire’s girlfriend Kaia or the newest addition to the wayward daughters as you called them Patience but the girls were more than understanding and were wading in little by little to catch you up on any and all memories involving them.

Your phone chimed from where it sat next to the bed so you walked over to pick it up and saw a text from Sam which read “We’re two hours away and Eileen is an hour out” you smiled knowing everyone was safe and texted back “Make it back in one piece and then I’ll be happy” then sat the phone down and returned to putting your laundry away.

You pulled out one drawer and stopped. Your socks and undergarments were in it but you had a flash of t-shirts being in the top drawer. Must have simply been mistaken. You finished up then headed into the library where you’d been scrolling through news websites to catch up.

------

You must have been invested in the article you were currently reading because when Eileen tapped on your shoulder you jumped. When you looked up she said “You’re a hunter and I scared you!” “You didn’t make any noise! Besides my guard is down in here” she shook her head but laughed “Nice to see you in a good mood” you motioned around “It’s starting to feel like a sense of being at home here” you knew you could confide in her without it reaching Dean and possibly getting his hopes up for nothing.

Her smile grew as she pulled out the chair next to you and sat down “That’s really good news” you and her sat there talking for the next while and were still talking when you heard the bunker door open so you signed “Our boys are home” she smiled and glanced over her shoulder about the time Sam and Dean walked down the stairs but both of your faces fell when you saw the cuts and scratches littering both of their faces.

She was on her feet to Sam’s side and without hesitation you were at Dean’s side before you could even think about it. “What the hell happened?” you asked gently touching the deepest cut that ran right across Dean’s left cheek “Couple witches hexed a couple vamps. Made them a little harder to kill. No big deal sweetheart” he replied flinching slightly as you turned his head to look at the different cuts and you shook your head then glanced at Eileen “You got your idiot cause I’m gonna go patch this one up and call Cas to see when he came come through the heal them” she nodded so you grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him behind you out of the library and down the hall to his bedroom.

------

Dean sat on the side of his bed while you fussed over the cuts on his face and neck. “Did you kill the witches? Because if not I’m gonna find them and shove their damn broomsticks up their asses” you finished cleaning the cuts and stopped when you realized he was staring at you

“What?” he shook his head letting just the barest hint of a smile play on his lips “I love when you’re all fiery” when you dipped your head just enough that hair fell in front of your face he knew that was one of your tells that you’d gotten embarrassed so he reached up to push the hair back gently and felt his heart flip when you actually leaned into his touch “I love everything about you Y/N. I don’t mean to embarrass you or make you feel weird about it since you can’t remember but you patching me up and fussing about me being hurt? It feels normal or normal for us anyways” you covered his hand with your own and smiled “I want us back Dean”

“We’ll get there sweetheart. Rowena said a few more days and a few more continents she should have her hands on everything she needs” you nodded then pulled away from him slowly “I need to put this first aid kit up” he watched you move around and wanted to say something that would make you feel better but really didn’t have an idea as to what to say.

You stopped at the doorway and glanced back at him “Is it weird if I ask you to take me for a ride in the impala?” he shook his head “Not at all. When do you want to go?” your smile pulled one to his own face “Let me grab my jacket” you glanced at his dresser for a second then added “Are your t-shirts in the top drawer?” he looked between you and the dresser then nodded slowly “Yeah..why?” “No reason” you replied then went in search of your jacket and to return the first aid kit to the kitchen.

------

You weren’t sure where Dean was headed but sitting next to him watching him drive felt so natural. You’d known him for years but it was like your heart was remembering even when your brain was refusing to. “Want to pull over or just keep driving? It’s a quarter moon but it’s pretty bright out if you want to park and talk?” he suggested and you nodded “Please”

You watched as he found a pull off and drove back to an open field. When he killed the engine he cut his eyes at you “You coming?” you smiled and climbed out behind him. He walked to the front of the car then sat on the hood leaned back against the windshield so you sat next to him making sure your boots were hanging off the side to not scratch the paint. Thousands of stars were dotted across the sky and although the moon was only a quarter it was bright. You could hear a few crickets far off and a slight breeze was in the air not enough to make it cold but enough to make your jacket comfortable.

You cut your eyes at him twice before he said “You can lean your head over on me Y/N. I won’t bite” “What if I asked you to?” you joked but had another sense of dejavu hit you. He pulled you over onto his chest leaning further back while you got comfortable “You know you said that to me the first night we slept together” he spoke after a moment.

It was the first time he’d actually talked about your relationship. You knew it was because he didn’t want to push your memory. You had your head laying against his chest and could hear his heart beating steadily under you. “Who kissed who first?” you asked and his answering laugh vibrated through your entire body “Believe it or not you kissed me first” you turned to look at him and he shrugged so you asked “Tell me?”

He nodded and leaned his head back to stare at the night sky “We were fresh off a possession case. Me and Sam had been working it and you rolled through nearby. Eileen was with the twins working a case so you offered to help us. After it was all said and done Sam headed back to the hotel but me and you decided to grab a beer” you hadn’t realized just how much you were hanging onto his every word until he grinned “You’re staring there Y/N” “Oh hush. You’re telling me about our first kiss I get to stare”

“Fair enough” he replied with a nod then continued “Anyways. We got to the bar, grabbed our drinks and then headed to a corner table. We were talking about the job, the life we live. You were the most beautiful woman in the place and you were sitting there in jeans and one of my flannels since your shirt had gotten torn during the fight and you had a scratch right across the top of your collarbone that flashed when you moved just the right way. I’d been trying to figure out a way to ask you if you’d ever consider being with another hunter for weeks by that point. You got up to grab us another round and I admit I watched your ass while you walked to the bar but you hadn’t even gotten the beer yet when some drunk asshole decided to grab your ass”

“How did that go over?” you asked pretty much already knowing the answer. Dean tilted his head with a hint of a smirk “I may have broken his jaw in a few different places. Luckily the bartender saw everything so she snuck us over the bar and out the back about the time the police were coming in the front. We hightailed it out of there and headed back to the hotel. I walked you to your door even though you were right next to us. You told me you could’ve handled it and at first I thought you were pissed at me for stepping in but then you added that you thought it was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen. You kissed me then asked if I wanted to grab coffee the next morning before we all headed our different directions”

The happiness in Dean’s eyes as he spoke about the two of you made your heart ache. You loved him, that much you were sure of even if you couldn’t remember the details as to why. “Was it just me for you from there on?” you asked and when he looked at you god your heart skipped more than a few beats at the emotion those green eyes held “No one else would’ve stood a chance” you leaned closer to him and just barely let your lips brush against his in a tentative kiss. When he didn’t push you away you deepened it moving closer to him. He groaned into the kiss when your hands slid across his chest coming up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

One of his hands came to grip your thigh closest to him and he gave it a tug pulling you on top of him never breaking the kiss. You straddled his waist breaking from his lips to kiss down his neck. The grip on your hips tightened when you kissed on top of his pulse point “Y/N...sweetheart..baby stop” you froze the moment he said stop and looked at him in confusion “What’s wrong?” he swallowed hard before saying “Don’t get me wrong because fuck I’ve missed kissing you but we can’t do this. Not until you get more of your memory back. The moment you do I promise to keep you in bed for days but for now we can’t”

You nodded and left another quick kiss on his lips before sliding off of him and the hood of the car. He stood up after you and wrapped both arms around you “I love you Y/N” you nodded leaning back against him “I know Dean” the two of you stood there in silence for the longest just enjoying being close to each other until you shivered. “Let’s get back” he said so you nodded with a sigh “Will you watch a movie or something with me when we get back?” he nodded and kissed your cheek “Of course”

You paced across the floor glancing towards the table in the center of the room every now and then. The redhead working over the large silver bowl stopped in the middle of a movement “Y/N..dear I have grown quite fond of you actually but if you don’t stop that incessant pacing I will lock you out until I need you”

You held your hands up defensively “Sorry Rowena. I guess I’m just nervous” “Understandably but just take a breath” you nodded and sat down at the table across the room. She smiled then went back to her work. You looked up when the door opened and gave a small smile to Eileen “The boys are on their way back” “It’ll be done before they get here” Rowena said not looking up so you repeated it to Eileen who questioned why your eyes got wider.

Eileen sat down next to you and drew you into a conversation about a few hunt years back and that managed to keep your attention until Rowena cleared her throat. The both of you looked up so she waved you over “It’s time” Eileen walked next to you so you gave her hand a small squeeze before stepping over to the table “Give me your hand” Rowena spoke so you held your hand out palm up. She picked up a silver dagger and slid it across your skin. You watched as your blood dripped onto the mixture in the bowl and it glowed a deep silver.

Rowena spoke the incantation of which you only caught half the words because while some was latin the rest was a language you didn’t recognize. After a moment the silver turned to a shimmering black. Rowena dipped a red wine glass into the bowl and held it out “Drink it all” you looked at the liquid and swallowed hard. You’d drank worse before. You looked at Eileen who nodded so you toasted her and Rowena “Here’s to our health ladies” then tipped the entire glass back in one go. “How do you feel?” Eileen asked and you started to say you felt fine then the world took on a fuzzy haze and you felt yourself falling right before your vision went black.

------

“Y/N..wake up..sweetheart” you could hear Dean’s voice and forced your eyes open. “She’s awake” he breathed in relief. You were laying on a makeshift pallet in the armory. “Told you I know what I’m doing” Rowena chastised then crouched down into your view. “Y/N..how do you feel dear?” you looked at Dean before answering Rowena “I feel amazing. I remember everything” you could hear Eileen and Sam both thanking Rowena but your eyes were glued to Dean who whispered “I love you Y/N” you pulled him down into a kiss before whispering “I love you too Dean. Nothing could keep me from you either”

Tagging @girl-next-door-writes for the bingo challenge and @akshi8278 cause it's Dean

#spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x female!reader #girl next doors make me feel bingo

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carpsurprise · 3 years ago

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Do you have any headcannons on what the bachelors we like getting their first tattoos, (if they get any at all) please and thankyou! 💞❣

yupyup!! sorry it took a while hehe but thank u for sending a req in!! <3

alex:

-omg i can def see him with them and not having them. def something on his bicep/shoulder area he just screams that energy. definitely on the fence about him having them. my gut says they stereotypical tribal shoulder to chest piece but i like alex enough to not torture him </3

-i think he had no problem getting the tattoo in terms of pain and was talkative w/ the artist!! depending on the tat artist he might have even been a bit TOO obnoxious but overall i think he was still and easy to work with!!

-haley had to keep reminding him to aftercare it though. alex kept forgetting and haley knows better than to leave him to his own devices. that thing would be infected/peeling/scabbing just bc i think alex would be too focused on how cool it looks

elliott:

-mmmm i am leaning more towards no… but if he does…. TWO. at most. but sleeve elliott may also be a beautiful thought in my head. i can’t decide oh god, but im sure he talked his tattoo artists EAR off while getting done. half as a way to distract himself physically and mentally bc im sure he regretted it the second the tattoo gun hit his skin (until after and he got used to it on his body hehe)

-but v simple!! def something symbolic but even like those really cool moth tattoos?? i don’t put it past him. cow or deer skull? w/ horns? mmm i love it. def something like that with something like a book quote elsewhere! like hmmmm the quote on his inner shin and the other whatever on his ribs or so?

-i don’t think he’d have any on his arms tho!! aside from sleeve hc i just threw out sdlkfdlk but like in general!! the writing would be smth like that would peek out when he wears his high waters <3

harvey:

-ok gonna ride on no tattoos realistically but tattoos and harvey is also a good thought. but yeah i'm gonna teeter to no tat harvey.

-i think the pain would be a good deterrent, even if it wouldn’t actually be that bad for him. although he is a doctor i DO also think he is a weenie. like if he had seen someone bleeding from a tattoo… why put urself in that position on purpose?

-but with that being said if someone is going to get a tattoo he will help them take care of it when it's healing. he’s got all the aquaphor in the world. he just wants to make sure it’s clean and kept good.

sam:

-i don’t think he’s TATTED up but i def think he's got a good 7-8 kinda spread out everywhere. some on his arms, legs, chest/ribs. some of them have some meaning to him or music… others were just for fun!!

-ummm patchwork style tattoos! and i think he’d def want more just bc they’re such a good way to express urself!! the first one and the second one gave jodi a heart attack but after that it just turned into an exhale through the nose

-i think for his first tattoo he was kinda jittery and definitely trying not to jerk around but the pain was not something he had expected. it wasn’t unbearable but for how long? yeouch. but after that he was like hmmm this is not so bad. definitely didn’t eat beforehand though. he makes that mistake everytime

sebastian:

-mmmm definitely Up There. i think he is the stick and poke KING like he has a million all from abigail. i think the fanon is abby is doing art school online and i stick towards tattoo artistry for her!! but def when they were younger i think seb had no issue being a test run for her

-but i think him and sam have a similar tattoo style!! i think he’d stick with stylized stuff like skulls w/ cigarettes, horror themed, maybe a frog in there… just like generally spooky stuff. spider webs...

-with him and coding i think he’d make a good bit more than sam and can afford a lot more!! like sam i am sure he’d also be v laidback and have no issues getting tattooed. even his first one (i bet he travelled to get it done underage), it was like nothing to him!!

shane:

-ok controversial take: sleeve shane. or shane with like a leg COVERED. like i think the man is tatted up. once again, like seb, probably not too bad getting his first tattoo. i feel like shane’s first tattoo was probably on a super painful spot

-like. he went into it like yeah it won’t be too bad getting it on a super painful spot and then. god. did he regret that. like full intricate tattoo on a bone… it’s not fun. his leg may have jerked once. and ofc he felt bad when the artist was like :/ don’t do that

-mmm i think most of those tattoos are from friends in college or at parties/bars!! a lot of non-sober ideas and tats on him. some of them make him said to think about… like friends from college he no longer talks to etc!!! but also like… some make him happy tho!! good memories

#stardew valley #alex stardew valley #elliott stardew valley #harvey stardew valley #sam stardew valley #sebastian stardew valley #shane stardew valley #alex #elliott #harvey #sam #sebastian #shane #anon

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hermitknut · 3 years ago

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god damn tumblr

so apparently if you put double quotes in your tags

it bumps the tag/s with the double quotes to the top of the list?

which, 1) why

but also, more importantly, 2) hey no this is bullshit

that was fun to find out today as I went back through my own blog and found that in my reblog of this doctor who post:

[ID: the hands gripping each other meme, where “Russel T Davies” and “ABBA” are united by “returning when the world needed them most”].

My tags as I wrote them originally read:

[ID: tags reading #genuinely excited about the return of RTD #though it was a big of a downer because I went looking on twitter for people being excited about it #and almost everyone I found was shitting on Jodie??? #I even saw one person being like #thank GOD we can finally get back to PROPER DW #no more WOKENESS #bahhhhh #honey have you seen the RTD era lmao fuck you #doctor who]

but because I’d put the person-being-a-dick’s-words in QUOTES, this is how it looked:

[ID: tags reading #thank GOD we can finally get back to PROPER DW #no more WOKENESS #genuinely excited about the return of RTD #though it was a big of a downer because I went looking on twitter for people being excited about it #and almost everyone I found was shitting on Jodie??? #bahhhhh #I even saw one person being like #honey have you seen the RTD era lmao fuck you #doctor who]

which, needless to say, SOMEWHAT CHANGES THE MEANING. Sorry if I gave anyone a bit of a scare.

anyway, I did a full body cringe when I found it and I’ve moved the tags back, and now I’m trying to figure out how to make sure I remember not to use double quotes in the tags anymore (unless I don’t care about the order, I guess).

Anyone know why it does this now? I swear this is at least relatively new?

#just noticed when I fixed it I put the bahhhh back in the wrong place lol #oh well #god this really through me when I rediscovered it #ugh I feel like I need to like #make my blog have a shower or something #and also remember to double check my tags after posting #in which hermitknut is herself

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jensengirl83 · 4 years ago

Text

Unexpected Situation

Dean x reader

Word count-4105

Warnings- Angst, unplanned pregnancy, fluff

Summary-The reader has been sick, thinking it was just a virus, Her and Dean get a shock to the actual cause.

The sunlight streaming through the curtains, bright and offending, is letting me know it’s time to get up. I groan wanting to just stay in bed all day, but we are heading back to the bunker today. This hunt has been absolute hell, just a simple witch hunt, turning into a four-day fiasco. On top of that, I am not feeling well, this stupid stomach virus is kicking my ass. Dean, being an overprotective ass, tried to make me stay in the hotel the whole trip. Thank Chuck I did not listen, or they would still be hunting that damn witch. I want to go home to the bunker, in my own bed, my own shower. I stretch my aching muscles, normally not this tired and groggy, on my way to make our coffee. That is one thing Dean and I have in common, our love for coffee.

“Morning sweetheart, feeling any better?” Dean leans down to kiss my temple, rubbing circles on the small of my back. Not many people get to see this side of Dean. To the hunter world, he is Dean Winchester, one of the best, a hard ass no one wants to cross. At home though, he is so sweet, caring, gentle, my big teddy bear.

“Morning babe. I’m feeling a little better, still not back to myself.” I lay my head back on his chest, his arms circling my waist. We stand there in silence waiting on the coffee to finish brewing, enjoying our quiet peaceful moment before Sam gets back from his morning run. Dean moves to get his cup and fill it up, turning to fill mine as well.

“I hope you feel better soon baby. I don’t like when you are sick, there’s really nothing I can do.”

“I know you do Dean. You know it’s not your job to take care of everyone all the time, right?” He rolls his eyes at me and I can’t help but giggle. He smiles down at me, his big bright smile, the one that reaches his eyes, the smile that lets me know he is genuinely happy.

“I’ll always take care of my girl.” He leans in to place a kiss to my lips, soft and sweet, beginning to grow in intensity. He licks my bottom lip asking for entrance, our tongues moving slowly together. I can taste the coffee he has been drinking, the taste instantly making my stomach turn. I break the kiss and run for the hotel bathroom, dropping to my knees to empty what little contents I have in my stomach.

“Oh sweetheart….” Dean is behind me in an instant, sweeping my hair out of my face, placing a cold washcloth on my neck. I haven’t been this sick in years, the muscles in my abdomen twitching from all the dry heaving.

“Want me to call Sammy and have him pick you up some medicine?” Dean says as he is running more cold water on the washcloth. I nod my head, afraid if I open my mouth to speak, I will be sick again. I lay my head on the toilet seat, too weak to even care. Dean is back with the cloth patting it on my face and neck, being very gentle as to not jostle me, in hopes I don’t throw up again.

“You think you’re done for now and can make it back to the bed?” I sigh laying there for a moment longer, praying this sick spell is finally over.

“I think I’m ok now Dean, help me up?” I just want to lie down. I honestly believe this virus is going to be the death of me.

“Of course, darling.” He puts his hand under my arms to steady me as I stand, my legs weak and shaky. Once I am on my feet, he swoops his arm under my legs, picking me up to carry me to the bed.

“I can walk Dean. I’m sick, my legs aren’t broken.” Another Dean eye roll.

“How about you be quiet and let me take care of you please?” I’m to weak to argue, letting him continue carrying me towards the bed. He lays me down gently, sitting beside me, running his hand over my head. I am almost asleep again when the hotel door swings open.

“Damn short stack, you look awful.” Nice choice of words Sam.

“You sure know how to make a girl feel good Sam.” I say with a roll of my eyes.

“I didn’t mean it like that Y/n. You look like you feel horrible.” The blush on Sam’s face makes me smile.

“I know you didn’t Gigantor, throwing up your spleen has a way of making you look pretty rough though.” Both boys curling their noses up in disgust like they were picturing me actually throwing up my spleen.

“Nice visual sweetheart, a little dramatic wouldn’t you say?” Dean chuckles leaning down to place his lips on my forehead.

“I don’t have a fever Winchester.” I know what he is doing, the worry wart.

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t checking you for a fever.”

“Whatever you say Dean.” I close my eyes again hoping to just rest for a minute, the nausea finally easing. I have never been this tired in my life, this virus must be a doozy, I think to myself as I drift off to sleep.

I open my eyes just a little as I roll to get more comfortable. I don’t remember the hotel bed being this comfy, the thought making me open my eyes a little wider. I look around to see I am back in our bed in the bunker.

“Hello there sleeping beauty.” I turn my head to see Dean lying beside me, arms under his head like he has been there awhile watching me.

“How long have I been asleep?” I say with a yawn as I sit up, arms over my head stretching my aching muscles.

“A little over 8 hours. I was starting to worry you weren’t going to wake back up.” The look of worry written all over that handsome face. I must admit, I am starting to worry myself. I am not one to sleep like this. “If this doesn’t go away soon please go see a doctor sweetheart.”

“I will Dean, I promise.” I lean to press a kiss to his forehead, feeling bad for making him worry so much.

“Jody called, she needs me and Sam to help on a case.” I know he doesn’t want to go, but he can’t neglect Jody just because I don’t feel well.

“Go help Jody Dean. I’m just going to take it easy and hydrate myself, nothing you can really do for me.”

“You sure? I don’t like being away from you when you might need me.” I intertwine my fingers with his, bringing them up to kiss the top of his hand.

“I’m sure babe.” I put on the biggest smile I can muster, hoping he will buy it and not be too distracted helping Jody.

“We will be back tomorrow evening baby, promise.” Dean grabs the back of my neck pulling me down to place a sweet but passionate kiss to my lips “You call me if you need anything. I mean it Y/n.”

“I promise, now get out of here.” I laugh while pushing him out of the bed. He finally stands and grabs his duffle, making his way to the door, turning to look at me once more. I smile letting him know I will be ok, reassuring him that I understand he has to go. It works, he smiles that beautiful smile, winking at me as he closes the door. I lie back down thinking of what I can get done while they are gone. My brain still seems like it is in a fog, my stomach is doing better, but I still feel tired. My mind ponders on what could possibly be making me feel this way, nothing comes to mind as fall back into a deep sleep.

I wake up with a start, a shrill ringing filling my ears. I look to my clock to see that I have slept through the night. What the hell, this is starting to freak me out. It dawns on me that the shrill sound is my phone, grabbing to see who’s calling, Dean’s picture lighting up my screen. I answer hoping he can’t tell I just woke up.

“Hey babe, how’s it going?” I say as cheerful as I can.

“It’s good sweetheart. I was calling to let you know the hunt is over and we should be back this afternoon. How are feeling?” His voice is even, not being able to tell if he suspects anything.

“Better, my stomach is still weak but not as bad as it was.”

“Good. I love you sweetheart. We’re getting ready to hit the road.” I have a few hours to get myself together.

“I love you babe. Be safe.” We end the call and I jump out of bed. I need to get my ass in the shower and get some stuff done so he doesn’t know I have slept the whole time. I grab my clothes and make my way to the shower, turning on the water and hopping in to quickly get clean. I wash my hair, my body and shave in record time. I dry off quickly, thinking I should paint my toenails. It has been awhile, and they definitely need it. I throw on one of Dean’s shirts I stole a long time ago and my sweats, squatting down to get my nail polish from under the sink. I see the box and my heart stops, my tampons, staring me in the face. I fall back to the floor and my mind goes into overdrive, trying to remember my last period. Oh my god, it has been almost two months! I reach to the back for the pregnancy test I put back there from when we had a scare last year. I stand, ripping the test open and yanking my pants to my ankles, the urgency to know sending me into a frenzy.

I lay the test on the sink as I wash my hands, praying that it is stress causing me to skip my periods. We have been hunting nonstop for months. That is it, it has to be. Me and Dean have never really discussed kids. Our scare last year not really bringing up a conversation, so I assume it’s not what he wants. What am I going to do if I am pregnant, what will Dean think? The timer on my phone bringing me back to reality. I flip the test over but keep my eyes on the wall, wanting to know but then again not. I take a deep breath and look down to the stick in my hand, trying not to cry. Positive. I grab the edge of the sink to keep myself from falling, my knees trying to buckle beneath me. Steadying myself, I walk out to our room and lay the test on the table beside the bed, not knowing what else to do with it.

I make my way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, my mouth being dry from the realization of the impending arrival of the small human in my body. I need to go sit down, all this so overwhelming. Reaching the library, I don’t sit, I just keep moving.

I could not help but to pace around, the boys were on their way home, due back at any time. The anxiousness of the talk I need to have with Dean churning in my belly. How did we end up in this situation? This is going to be one of the scariest conversations I have ever had. I just hope Dean will take the news better than I am expecting him to. I instinctively reach down to place my hand on my stomach, my baby, our baby, the thought has my eyes brimming with tears. I never thought I would want to be a mother, now I can’t imagine our unexpected bundle not being here. I pray to whoever is listening that Dean will accept this, not panic and push us away. Raising a child in this life will not be easy, but he/she is a part of us, isn’t that worth the extra effort? I want this for Dean, I know he doesn’t believe it, but he would be such a good father. Loving and protecting, doing everything he could to make sure his child has better than he did. What if he doesn’t want this though? There is no other option for me but to have and love this baby with everything I am. If Dean will not accept it, I will have to leave, that’s not what I want, but this child is my priority now. Just the thought of having to leave has tears streaming down my face. In my onslaught of the worst-case scenarios, I didn’t hear the bunker door open.

“Honey I’m home! I love saying that.” I can hear the happiness in his voice, boy am I about to rip that away.

“You’re such an idiot Dean.” Sam is laughing as they make their way down the bunker’s staircase. I am trying to wipe the tears from my face and hope they don’t notice.

“There’s my girl! How ya feeling sweetheart?” Dean is right behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. I stay silent, afraid my emotions will be heard in my voice, not ready for this conversation. “Y/n, honey, you ok?” He turns me to face him, no need in trying to stop it. His face drops seeing me in the state I am in.

“Y/n what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Looking up to see those beautiful green eyes, so full of love and concern, has me breaking down, the thought that this may be the last time he looks at me this way, more than I can take.

“I’m so sorry Dean! I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just happened. Please baby don’t push me away. I love you. I don’t want to do this on my own.” My body is wracked with sobs, his arms the only thing holding me up.

“I need you to calm down honey. Take a deep breath, whatever it is we can fix it.” Dean is trying to be comforting but I can hear the worry in his voice.

“There is no fixing it Dean! It’s happening whether you want it to or not!” I know I’m not making sense, which is not helping at all.

“Mind giving us a minute Sammy?” I look over to Sam who has a look of confusion, but also compassion, on his face.

“Sure man, I’ll be in my room if you need me.” Sam pats Dean on the back and places a kiss to the top of my head on his way out.

“C’mere, sit down and talk to me Y/n. I can’t help you figure out what to do if you don’t talk to me.” Dean is leading me over to one of the chairs, his arms wrapped around me like he is scared I’ll run if he let’s go. “What happened baby? You were fine when I called this morning? Is this about you being sick?”

“It’s about why I have been so sick, Dean.” My voice is barely above a whisper.

“You know why you have been sick?” I just nod my head. “What is it sweetheart?” The fear in voice is breaking my heart.

“I…I’m….” I can’t say the words, my breath caught in my throat as I begin to cry again. Dean’s arms are around me pulling me into his lap.

“Please tell me Y/n. You’re scaring me.” His eyes are brimming with tears, always thinking the worst. I have to just say it, not let him keep thinking it is something really bad.

“I’m pregnant Dean.” I feel his body tense beneath me. My worst fears realized. He doesn’t want this.

“How Y/n? Aren’t you still on your birth control?” I take his question as an accusation, my frazzled mind not thinking of it any other way. I jump to my feet and turn to face him, my hands in the air.

“Of course, I’m still on my birth control Dean! Why would you think I wasn’t? You think I did this on purpose?!” I’m yelling, my fear fueling the anger I now feel. “I didn’t plan on this any more than you did Dean, but here I am, pregnant.” He just stares, a look on his face I can’t quite make out. I take that as my cue to keep going.

“I know this is not what you want Dean! I didn’t think I wanted it either, but now I do. I want this baby more than anything! If you want me to leave I will, but I am keeping it Dean. I know it will be hard raising a child in this life, but I am willing to put in the effort, quit hunting, whatever I have to do. Why aren’t we worth it to you for a little extra effort Dean? Why would you not want this with me?” I can’t keep going, the tears and the thought of doing this alone, bringing me to my knees.

“Whoa sweetheart, be careful!” Dean is in the floor pulling me to him as soon as my knees touch the ground. He is rubbing his hand down my back and peppering kisses to my hair, forehead, cheeks.

“What makes you think I want you to leave Y/n? I have never said I was against having a baby with you.” His tears finally making their way down his face. “I love you baby. I don’t want you going anywhere.”

“When we thought I was pregnant last year, and it was negative, you didn’t have anything to say. I figured you were glad it wasn’t going to happen.” I am so confused. If he wanted a baby, would he not have said so?

“I didn’t say anything because you seemed to be relieved Y/n. Of course, I want this with you. I didn’t want to say something and make you feel obligated to have a child if that isn’t what you wanted. I know it’s going to be hard, but with you by my side we can do anything.” His words are shocking me speechless. He really wants this, to be a father to our baby.

“Really Dean? You want to have this baby with me?” His smile is breathtaking, reaching his eyes, so green and bright. A look of pure joy on his face. He cups my face in his hands and crashes his lips to mine in a bruising and passionate kiss. We pull apart, the need to breath becoming to much. He places his forehead to mine, still pecking my lips. A full body laugh erupting from his chest makes me jump back. He falls over, laying in the floor, still in a fit of laughter. Well fuck, I broke my boyfriend.

“What is so funny Dean?” I look at him like he has finally lost his mind, but not being able to keep my laugh in. He jumps to is feet, dragging me up with him.

“I’m really going to be a father. We’re going to have a baby Y/n!” His excitement is the most adorable thing I have ever see. To think, an hour ago, I thought I would be doing this on my own.

“Yes Dean, we’re having a baby.” I can’t contain my excitement anymore, laughing as he wraps his arms around me. Before I can comprehend what’s happening, he is spinning me in circles.

“Dean!” I scream, a little louder than I meant to, the surprise of being flung around the room startling me. He finally puts me back on my feet, dropping to his knees, his hands on my waist. He starts placing kisses on my belly, making me giggle.

“Hey in there, this is your Daddy. You need to give your mom a break and stop making her so sick.” I laugh, running my fingers through his hair. I look down at him with a look of awe. This big strong hunter already wrapped around his son or daughter’s finger. “I love you so much peanut. I will always be here to protect you, make sure you and your mom have everything you need, make sure you’re both happy.”

“Dean! Y/n!” Sam yells as he skids around the corner, gun drawn. Dean and I jump, never expecting Sam to run in, guns blazing.

“What the hell Sam? Put the gun down before you hurt somebody!” Dean is on his feet, putting his body between me and Sam.

“I heard Y/n yell for you! I thought something had happened.” Sam looks to the two of us, a puzzling look on his face. I can’t imagine what we looked like when he burst into the room. Dean on his knees in front of me, tears in both our eyes. It must have been a sight. The thought causes me to bust out in a fit of giggles.

“What is going on in here?” Sam is looking at me and Dean waiting on an explanation.

“Calm down Uncle Sammy. We’re good.” Dean says with a smirk, waiting to see if his brother catches on to what he just said.

“I’m glad. The situation looked dire earlier. I was….Wait! Did you just call me Uncle Sammy?!” He is whipping his back and forth between me and Dean. His eyes as big as saucers, with a look between hopeful and confused.

“He did Sam. We’re having a baby.” The proud look on Dean’s face makes my heart swell. I so hope this baby looks like him.

“Oh my God! I’m so happy for you guys!” Sam rushes to wrap both his arms around me and his brother.

“Is that why you were crying earlier short stack?” Sam asks as he releases ne from his hug, looking down at me.

“Yes. I was letting my anxiety get the best of me, thinking Dean wouldn’t want a baby, but it’s all ok now Sam.” I smile up at the giant of a man.

“Y/n, he would be an idiot to not want this. If he didn’t, I would have to kick his ass.” We both bust out laughing at the look on Dean’s face.

“Well thanks a lot Sammy.” Dean huffs faking a pout.

“Alright boys. I am exhausted and going to bed. See you in the morning Sam.” I lean up to give him a kiss on the cheek, turning to head to mine and Dean’s room.

“I still can’t believe I am going to be a dad Sammy. It is still so surreal, but I have never been so happy.” Dean is looking at me with so much love. Like I just gave him the world.

“Some of the most unexpected situations turn out to be the ones we never knew we wanted. Night guys.” Sam heads back to his room with a smile. I hold my hand out for Dean to take, wanting him to follow me to bed. He takes the invitation, intertwining his fingers with mine as we make our way to our room. I head straight for the bed, laying down and getting comfortable as Dean turns out the light, and stripping down to his boxers, climbing in behind me.

“How did I get so lucky? I have the most beautiful woman in the world, giving me the most precious gift I could ever receive. I feel like I won the lottery Y/n.” Dean whispers in my ear while placing soft kisses in my hair.

“We’re both lucky Dean. This little bean is a gift for the both of us.”

“I love you so much sweetheart.” His words soft and sweet, his hand moving to protectively lay across my belly.

“I love you Dean.” I smile as we both start to drift off to sleep. If you would have told me a month ago, I would be laying here, pregnant with Dean’s baby, both of us this happy, I would have never believed it. Here we are, the two of us getting ready to embark in one of nature’s most beautiful but scariest adventures, parenthood. Who knew that such an unexpected situation could bring so much joy? A joy that will last a lifetime.

Tags: @flamencodiva @waywardbeanie @sorenmarie87 @foxyjwls007 @emoryhemsworth

#dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural family #supernatural #spn fanfiction #angst #pregnancy #fluff #reader insert #spn famdom

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atc74 · 4 years ago

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Soul to Souls - Nineteen

Warnings: Pregnancy, labor, lots of language, fluff

Summary: Since she was four years old, Annaleigh has seen the same boy in her dreams. For twenty-five years, she grows to love the boy that has now turned into a man. Dean Winchester just lost the only family he has ever known. The guilt drives him to work harder than ever before. He works to forget the pain, until he meets Annaleigh and she turns his world upside down. What she learns changes both of their lives forever, but what will he do when he discovers the truth? Will he accept it or run back to the only life he has ever known?

Pairing: Dean x OC Annaleigh

Word Count: 2259

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches, @katehuntington, thank you both for being my guides! Dividers and cover art by the amazingly talented @talesmaniac89.

A/N: This was my very first series I ever wrote four years ago in September 2016 and I am so happy and proud to bring this back home. Thank you to everyone that is enjoying the story so far. You’re probably going to get a couple chapters a week, trying to wrap this up before the new series starts.

Only one chapter left! 😢

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Soul to Souls Master List

Previously...

Only a few days from her due date, Annaleigh sat quietly in the nursery one night, sleep eluding her as she was not able to get comfortable much anymore. Her eyes were closed, and she absentmindedly rubbed her swollen belly, thinking about how happy she was with their life and how much things had changed over the last five and a half years, how much they had lost and how much they had gained. She didn’t even open her eyes when she heard the fluttering of wings in the room.

“Hi Cas,” she said quietly.

“Hey, girl.” The gruff voice had her bolting upright, her eyes flying open.

“Bobby?” her words were barely a whisper, as she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing.

Now...

“Yeah, Kid, it’s me. The powers that be finally decided I could show myself to you. It’s been hard being here with the kids most nights and not being able to talk to you. I know Dean is treatin’ ya right though; I can feel it in him. That boy loves you.”

“Dean!” Annaleigh wanted her husband to be here with her, with Bobby. Anna heard him call out to her, and she laughed as he turned the corner too fast in his socked feet, slipping as he entered the nursery.

“Red! Are you okay? What’s wrong?” She heard the fear in his voice as he reached her side.

Panic had rushed through him when he heard Annaleigh yell for him and she wasn’t in their bed. They only had days to go until the newest Winchester arrived and Dean was nervous she would go into labor any minute.

Standing before him was Bobby, stopping Dean dead in his tracks.

“Bobby?” He couldn’t really believe it was him.

“Yeah, it’s me, Son.” Dean embraced Bobby with all his might; he was so happy to see him.

“God, I missed you, old man,” Dean whispered over Bobby’s shoulder.

Bobby looked around the nursery casually. “I love what you’ve done with the place. I think she is going to love it.”

“Thanks, Bobby. Sam and I have been working on - wait, what?” Dean stuttered. “Did you say ‘she’?”

“Oops, I don’t think I was supposed to tell. One of the perks of being an angel, I guess,” Bobby replied sheepishly.

“It’s a girl?” Anna asked, getting up from the rocker and slowly walking over to Bobby. “Are you sure?”

Bobby reached out and placed his hands over Anna’s stomach, a pale blue glow emanating from his palms. “Yeah, Annaleigh, I’m sure, and she is as beautiful as her Mama.” A single tear rolled down his face and disappeared into his unruly beard.

Dean watched as Bobby embraced his wife before he joined, wrapping his arms around both of them, really feeling like their family was complete. Even if Bobby couldn’t be here physically with them, they knew he was always here.

Despite her due date coming and going, Dr. Sullivan had assured Anna and Dean that their baby and Annaleigh were perfectly healthy and, as long as that didn’t change, she didn’t want to risk inducing labor and causing undue stress on both mother and baby. Cas dropped by every few days and confirmed the doctor’s decision. Number three was just not ready to make her debut just yet - the Winchesters liked to make a dramatic entrance. Robby and Millie certainly had, arriving almost a month early.

Dean’s birthday was coming, and the birthday tradition for her husband meant pie, not cake. With the kids at preschool and Dean at his brother’s, Anna took advantage of the quiet and spent the morning making a pecan and an apple pie for him, since those were his favorite. She had invited Sam, and of course Jody over for his birthday dinner the next night, along with Bobby and Cas, if they could manage.

Exhaustion calling her as she yawned widely, Anna laid down on the couch for a little snooze, texting Dean first.

Before she knew it, Dean was waking her gently from her cocoon on the couch. The kids were already washed and seated at the table, waiting patiently for supper. Dean helped her to her feet, and she shuffled off to the bathroom before her bladder exploded.

Dean was serving dinner when she returned to the dining room, and she gladly accepted his offer to make her plate and pour the milk. He has been taking such good care of her, a girl could get used to it. Robby and Millie led a short Grace before they ate.

“Thank you Lord for this food and for Mama and Daddy,” Robby started.

“Thank you for the snow and for Grampa. But, God, if you are listening, could you please bring my baby sister?” Millie ended the Grace with Amen, and Dean and Anna both chuckled a little.

“Millie, I am excited for her to get here too, but sometimes babies don’t come when they are supposed to. You and your brother didn’t,” Anna offered.

“I know, Mama, but I’m just really excited to meet her and give her a real name besides ‘baby sister’,” Millie confessed to her parents.

Once dinner was over, Dean cleared the dishes and put away the leftovers. It was nearing bathtime for both kids, and Anna slowly made her way towards the stairs when she felt the warmth trickle down her legs.

“Dean!” she called from the base of the stairs, holding onto the banister for support.

“Yeah, Red?” Dean answered as he rounded the corner from the kitchen. He saw Anna clutching the banister with a puddle at her feet.

“Dean, my water just broke,” Anna grimaced, trying to stay upright as the first contraction hit her.

“I know, Red. I can see it.” He helped her sit down on the stairs. “Stay right here. I’ll be right back with a change of clothes for you. I’m gonna call Jody to come stay with the twins.” He raced up the stairs, yelling for the kids and reaching for his phone.

“Jody, it’s Dean. Yeah, it’s time. Can you come stay with Robby and Millie?...Yeah, I’ll have Sam stay until you can get here...I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sticking around and helping...Thank you so much.” Dean placed the next call to Sam.

“Sammy, it’s time. Jody’s coming, but we need you right now,” Dean panted as he rushed from room to room. “Yes, Sam...I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you stuck around...now can we worry about your love life when my wife isn’t in labor?...’Kay, thanks, Sammy.”

Robby and Millie ran into their bedroom, holding hands. “Daddy?” they said in unison, watching him scramble around the room looking for clothes for his wife.

“Uncle Sam is going to come stay with you until Jody gets here. I’m going to take Mommy to the hospital. I think your baby sister is finally going to come tonight,” Dean said excitedly to the children.

“YAY! Baby Sister! Baby Sister!” They screamed in unison, jumping up and down.

Dean ran back down the stairs to find his wife still sitting there, breathing and counting. Easing her to her feet and into the small bathroom off the kitchen, Dean gingerly held her while helping her slip off her soaking wet pants and underwear, then pulling on clean bottoms. “How far apart, Red?”

“Best guess is four to five minutes, I don’t really know,” Annaleigh breathed out.

Sam was waiting for them when they emerged, a child in each arm. “Don’t worry, guys, I got this. Go have my niece! Call me with updates.”

Dean grabbed the two bags that had been packed by the front door for a month, running them out to the car, then went back for Anna, helping her slowly down the porch steps and into the car. Once they were both secured, he backed out of the driveway and sped off towards the hospital.

Dean was grateful for the cakewalk this pregnancy had been, for Anna’s sake. Even almost two weeks overdue, it had been much easier on her than the first. Dean was also ecstatic to have another baby with this extraordinary woman. About fifteen minutes later, he pulled up in front of the hospital’s emergency entrance. He jumped out quickly, grabbing a wheelchair and helped Annaleigh into it, pushing her through the double doors.

After they were checked in, a nurse came to get her and gave Dean her room number. She let him know they were going to get her settled. He knew she was in capable hands, but he reluctantly left her side to park the car. Immediately upon returning to the maternity ward, he could hear his wife screaming his name and swearing. He wasn’t sure he deserved it; it wasn’t entirely his fault, but he would gladly take whatever she dished out. Dean entered the room, and a nurse threw him a set of scrubs. He quickly changed into the scrubs and rushed to his wife’s side. She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down to her, her face flushed, sweat already beading on her porcelain skin.

“You did this to me! You fucker! I hate you!” Anna bellowed at him and he let her, taking it like a good husband should when their wife is pushing the next generation into the world.

“Ok, Annaleigh, all done with that one. Take some deep breaths and the doctor will be right in to check on you,” the nurse spoke calmly and Anna stopped yelling.

Reaching up, she cupped Dean’s stubbled cheek, and he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes, relishing in the calm her touch provided, even when she was the one doing all the work. “I love you, Dean. I am so happy we are having another baby. Thank you for giving me a family.”

“I love you too, Red. We wouldn’t have this family if it wasn’t for you. You are strong and brave. You are my rock. You are the best mama ever and we are lucky to have you.” He placed small kisses over her head and forehead, trailing down to her mouth. She kissed him with a passion and energy he didn’t think she could muster during labor, but he had learned long ago never to underestimate her, ever.

They were interrupted by a throat being cleared as the doctor entered the room. “Hi Annaleigh, how are you doing?” Doctor Sullivan inquired, coming around the foot of the bed. “Let’s take a look at your progress. The nurse says your contractions are pretty strong, so let’s see how far along you are.” The doctor lifted up the sheet and did a quick exam before she removed her gloves and turned to them.

“Okay, mom, you are dilated to six centimeters and are moving along well. This baby should be making an appearance in just a few hours. I’ll have one of the nurses come check on you in a bit.” With that, she was gone.

“Dean, did you hear that? There is a good chance she’ll be born on your birthday.” Anna looked up at him with those beautiful blue eyes, glistening with tears.

“Red, I couldn’t ask for a better birthday present,” Dean leaned down and kissed her again.

The next couple of hours went by quickly, nurses checking in every few minutes during contractions until, finally, it was time. The doctor came into the room and told Anna to start pushing, which she did like a champ. Their daughter arrived kicking and screaming in less than ten minutes, weighing seven pounds, fourteen ounces and just over twenty inches long.

Doctor Sullivan looked at the clock, officially announcing the time of birth as 1:07am, January the 24th. They had a birthday baby, and Dean couldn’t hide his smile or tears. He turned to his wife, kissing her full on the mouth. “Red, I am so proud of you. Thank you so much for this gift.”

A nurse handed Dean a pink bundle, and he looked down at her with so much love in his heart, kissing her little head before passing her to his wife. “She is so beautiful, Red.”

“We never talked about it, so what are we going to name her, Dean?” Anna and Dean exchanged options quietly, sneaking glances down at their new daughter, finally landing on the one they both loved.

No one else would have noticed over the hustle and bustle in the room, but if you knew what you were listening for, you could hear it. They both glanced up to see Bobby standing silently in the corner, waiting for everyone to clear out so he could be alone with his family and meet his new granddaughter. Once the delivery staff left the family alone, he made his way over the edge of the bed.

“Hey pretty girl,” he cooed over the new baby, just like he had with the twins.

“Bobby, meet your granddaughter, Samantha Karen Winchester, but you can call her Sammie,” Anna declared, watching the old man cry for only the fourth time in her life.

“She’s gonna be tickled pink when I tell her,” Bobby sniffed as he cradled the newborn in his arms. His wet eyes flicked up to meet Dean’s. “Thank you.”

“No thanks necessary, Bobby. We couldn’t think of any better way to honor her memory than to name this little one after her,” Dean expressed. “She would have been a wonderful grandma.”

“Yeah, she woulda,” the old man sniffed, letting his emotions take over.

Bobby stayed at the hospital for a little longer, until Anna was too tired to keep her eyes open. She tried to deny it, but he knew better. He left the hospital to check in on the rest of his family. The twins were sleeping soundly, holding hands as usual. Bobby slowly made his way down the stairs, knowing it would be faster to fly, but not wanting the flutter of his wings to wake Sam. He didn’t expect to find him curled up on the sofa with Jody in a cocoon of blankets to ward against the chilly winter night. He found himself smiling, proud of the boys he had raised and the men they had become.

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

Soul to Souls tags: @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @iwantthedean @jensengirl83 @deanwanddamons @smol-and-grumpy @kbl1313 @waywardbeanie @whatareyousearchingfordean @princessmisery666 @shy-violet-soul @lastcallatrockysbar @winchesterxfamilybusiness @fangirlxwritesx67 @squirrelnotsam @michellethetvaddict @magssteenkamp @wonder-cole

#dean x annaleigh #dean x ofc #dean winchester x ofc #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst #dean winchester smut

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stusbunker · 4 years ago

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Questions: Who?

A Supernatural Fan-fiction Series

Featuring: Sam Winchester x Wife!Reader

Setting: Starts in Season 12, ends in Season 13

Sixth and Final Chapter of my Questions Series

A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading this through! I really appreciate the support and feedback! xoxo Stu

Warnings: Torture, blood, vomit, hospitals, fate, free will, pregnancy and childbirth, stupid levels of fluff at the end, which I meant to write all along.

You had worn many hats through the years: Daughter, Friend, Orphan, Hunter, Cousin, Fraud, Thief, Prisoner, Girlfriend, and now Wife. But nothing held the power of who you were like looking into his eyes.

This was it, this is what it meant to be insane, possibly feral. It was beyond reason, beyond anger or fear. It was a desperate, frustrating lack of control. The moment she came into the room you snarled at the woman. Prim and proper and utterly infuriating.

God, you wanted to snap her neck. That thought stopped you in your tracks, rank air pulled through your nostrils as you tried to get back to yourself. It would have been easier, if you weren’t still bleeding from the gunshot to your calf.

“We seem to have started off on the wrong foot. Understandably, a woman must defend her home,” she driveled on. “Now, we came to bring in the Winchesters, but you don’t really count.”

She paced in front of you, crisp suit unsullied from the dingy basement. You tried to remember what her partner or partners looked like, they couldn’t be very far. She hadn’t be the one to drag you in, let alone Sam. Sam. Where had they taken him?!

Your mind flitted through the chances of an escape, for either of you, while she prattled on.

“You know those boys stir up trouble wherever they go. We can help you. Give you a fresh start,” Toni attempted to give you a reassuring smile.

“Who do you think you are, lady? If you think I am going to turn on either of them, you are clearly not as smart as you look,” you spat out, chills racking your body, accentuating every aching joint bound by unforgiving knots.

“Give it time, some bacteria growth, and you’ll be crippled. Not much for hunting by then. I wonder what happens to those too weak to keep up?” She eyed you suspiciously. Then continued with breathy exasperation, “I’ll be back. Maybe then we can talk about where your loyalties lie.”

You woke to the sound of Sam’s screams, muffled and haunting. Lips chapped and with barely enough strength to lift your head you called back.

“Sam! Sam! Don’t--- don’t let her win! You hear me?!”

He broke off suddenly, the fear and rage resurfacing as you came back to your surroundings. Your head throbbed and you realized someone must have gagged him or knocked him out. You counted your own shallow breaths waiting for them to do the same to you.

The pain in your leg had changed, slowly you were able to squirm to see that they had sewn you up. The fact that you had been unconscious long enough for them to do any number of things to you made your empty stomach clench. You waited for the British Barbie to return as you worked through your options.

No one had come for you, despite the obvious rounds of torture Sam had endured. You sat and waited, pain and thirst battling for your attention as you tried to undo the ropes at your bleeding wrists. Suddenly a very different sound was pulled from Sam’s throat, a moan so specific that you finally lost the acid that had been building in your gut.

What the hell was going on?

You started to spiral, possibilities of what was to come scaring you more than anything else had ever before. As you slipped into unconsciousness once more, you started to dread waking back up.

Everything blurred, one moment you saw Sam’s face bloody and alarmed then Dean’s barking over the backseat. Cas’s voice was stern, but you couldn’t understand why he was so insistent.

Then there was a woman’s voice, one that was as soothing as it was foreign.

The air around you was clinically comfortable. The morning light slanted as it peeked through the vertical blinds, you were still tied down, but these were very different bindings. The I.V. and heart rate monitor kept you on a short leash. Sam’s snoring at your bedside the only thing that told you this was real. The sight of your husband so mutilated brought tears to your eyes.

The fact that you were in the hospital bed when he wasn’t told you how bad you must have been.

You cleared your throat, mouth sour and voice hoarse. Sam startled awake, wincing as he adjusted in the vinyl chair.

“Hey,” you whispered.

His hand snaked over the rail and grabbed yours, heavy and familiar.

“How you feelin’?” Sam asked, brow pitched.

“Surprisingly not bad. Why am I here, Sam? Couldn’t Cas---,” you started.

Sam cut you off, “He said it was best to bring you in, you were really dehydrated and needed two blood transfusions.”

“What about you?” You tried to sit up, brushing your fingers over the places where you remembered he had been bleeding.

“I’m fine. Cas took care of me. Listen, Baby, the reason Cas insisted you got to the hospital is, well,” Sam cleared his throat and cocked his head, debating on what to say next.

“Because I’m pregnant,” you answered.

“You knew?” Sam gaped, floundering so much that you almost laughed in his face.

You nod. “The world was ending, I wasn’t sure it was going to last. And couldn’t put something else out there to worry about.”

“You still could have told me.” Sam sniffed, the news overtaking him in a way you hadn’t seen before.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” you breathed out, gripping Sam’s forearm as you braced yourself for reality. “Am I still? Did we lose--,”

“Hey, it’s okay, you are. The doctor had strong and steady heartbeats from both of you.” Sam smiled down at you as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead.

“Is it bad that I don’t know how I feel about it yet?” You asked nervously, praying he wouldn’t judge you for your honesty.

He barely even hesitated, bless him.

“Of course not. The lives we lead, this is going to take some adjusting. For all of us. But if you’re in this, I’ll be right there beside you,” Sam gave you a watery smile. “Alright?”

You nodded and leaned in to give him a simple kiss, lingering in the calm of sharing his oxygen.

“Sam?” You asked. He hummed in reply. “Who was the woman in the car with us on the way here? I don’t remember seeing her, just a voice.”

“Well, apparently Amara decided Dean needed something in return for him, I don’t know, reconciling her and Chuck, God, whatever. So she, uh, she brought back my mom.”

Being benched after the Brits kidnapping you was understandable, your body and psyche needed a breather. But now it was getting frustrating.

“Sorry, pregnant chicks don’t get to hunt, not on my cases,” Dean tossed you one of his petulant company smiles.

“You’re being ridiculous! I’m barely showing, no one needs to know,” you argued with your stubborn brother-in-law as Sam and Castiel shared apprehensive looks behind Dean’s back.

“Yeah, well, I know. Look, I get it, you can take care of yourself. But this is big, alright? If Lucifer gets wind that Sam’s got a fresh meat suit on the way,” Dean puffed himself up to unload on you.

“That’s enough, Dean,” Cas chided.

Sam was visibly stunned by Dean’s comment, the possibility of Lucifer using you or your baby made him recoil with disgust.

Of course you hadn’t thought of that. Vessels were linked by bloodlines, you carried a part of the fallen archangel’s true vessel. As you processed the gravity of what Dean was saying, Sam seemed to slump with guilt.

“Oh, god,” he said underneath his breath.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll stay back on this one,” you tried to reassure him.

“I didn’t even think--- you have to be careful. I mean it, until Lucifer is back in the cage or dead, none of us are safe.” His hands latched onto your hips, thumbs rubbing tight circles over your growing belly.

You pulled his jaw up to look him in the eye, the man you trusted beyond all others, the love of your life, your rock.

“We will be fine, Sam. Go do what needs doing and come home safe. All of you.” You looked to Dean whose jaw was set in agreement. You nodded to Cas and leaned up to kiss Sam goodbye.

It hurt to watch them go where you couldn’t help keep them safe. But you had a different job to do now and it just kept getting bigger.

Days turned into weeks and there were no leads on Sam or Dean. Mary and Cas were doing everything they could, but nothing would ease your anguish until you had answers.

Your body continued to grow, the constant reminder that time progressing was just one more thing beyond your control.

The fear of raising your baby alone increased with each passing day.

Jody called out of the blue and a tidal wave of emotions hit you. You had a village, even if they were widespread. You could do this if you had to. You would do whatever it took to keep your family safe, even if it meant eventually having to give up on finding Sam and Dean.

They charged in through the garage on a gray afternoon, gaunt and exhausted. Time, finally seemed to stop as Sam’s face flushed with relief as you ran into his arms.

“Do you know what you’re having?” Kelly Kline’s bright eyes flitted to your matching bump.

You shook your head. “Nope, decided to let it be a surprise, we aren’t really the decorating type. You?”

“Half spawn of Satan, but I feel like it’s a boy,” she teased, you appreciated her snark.

“What’s that like? Do you have to deal with wings in there along with all the kicks and elbows?” You pulled your knee up on the couch in the cabin’s small living room. Getting as comfortable as possible as you got to know Lucifer’s baby mama.

She groaned out a sigh. “Probably? Who knows? He’s growing so fast!”

You caught Castiel’s eye as the unspoken worry passed between you.

“The baby is human shaped, his wings are not corporeal on this plane,” your angel friend explained dully.

“Who needs an ultrasound when you’ve got this guy?!” you broke the awkward silence as Kelly internalized that her son, in fact, had wings.

“I’m sorry, how is it you know Castiel, Y/N?” Kelly tried to change the direction of the conversation.

“Uh, well, I’m a hunter. Do you know what I mean by that?” You offered.

“Like the Winchesters?” Her voice grew tighter as she looked to Cas to ensure she and her baby remained safe in your presence.

“Like the Winchesters. In fact I--,” you tried to ease into it.

“She is Sam’s wife, Kelly. I brought her here for you to understand that though their actions might seem extreme, they are good men,” Cas explained.

“But they’re also idiots,” you broke in. “We all have our baggage, for Sam, a lot of that baggage is Lucifer. Do you know who my husband and his brother are?”

You let your guard down, breathing through your inner defensiveness and spoke to Kelly as a civilian. Because she was still such an innocent, despite everything that had happened since Lucifer jumped into her boyfriend.

Kelly looked to Cas before shaking her head.

“Sam was Lucifer’s power suit, his true vessel. He was destined from the beginning to bring forth the apocalypse. And Dean was Michael’s. Two sets of brothers meant to end the world.”

“I don’t understand, why wasn’t he--,”

“Because Sam, and Dean, chose a different path,” Cas concluded.

“And so, I’m here to let you know that your child will be allowed to chose the right path for himself.” You sighed, feeling the weight of destiny in your words. The offer to bring her child into your family despite his parentage as a sign that the world held more good than chaos.

You didn’t know who you were reassuring more, Kelly or yourself.

It was nothing like you had expected, yet just as horrendous as you had imagined. Your muscles seized as you bore down, again. The clothed faces of the doctor and nurses were a sea of unfamiliarity. You needed Sam.

But he wasn’t there.

You groaned, trying to push harder than ever before. You had to be nearly done. You needed your baby to finally arrive so you could rest. As much as you wanted to meet them; you were exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally depleted.

“And relax,” the doctor coached. “Great job, Mrs. Campbell. Breathe.”

You nodded, mouth closed as you tried not to cry.

You had never felt so alone in your entire life, not in foster care after the wendigo had slaughtered your parents or in the years after losing Rafe. Not even the dank cell that Crowley had left you in, had you felt this terrifyingly and helplessly alone.

You were going to be a mother. And there was no one at your side. No matter how certain you were that Sam wanted to be there; he wasn’t.

Before you were ready, you were pushing through another contraction.

“Big push, keep going, that’s it, don’t stop,” the doctor’s voice was firm and insistent. You wanted to swing your machete. Or a solid baseball bat.

You screamed as your body burned, clenching and pulsing against the child inside you. You needed it out.

“That’s it, you’re doing great,” a voice like heaven broke through your anguish as Sam peeled your hand from the bedside rail.

“You prick!”

“I know,” Sam acquiesced, giving you his determined furrowed brow as the doctor regained your attention.

“Glad you could make it, Dad. Mom? We need another series of big pushes from you. Are you ready?”

“No--- I need a break--- fuck!” You felt the contraction attack your body and you couldn’t help but whimper.

“You can do this, just a few more, Baby,” Sam promised with quiet insistence.

You gave a faltering effort, which the doctor acknowledged.

“Alright, we missed that one, don’t stop again. Let’s go, big finish,” the doctor barked, her voice insanely controlled.

You were not made for the calm approach; you unleashed, grunting and pushing through as you fought with every once of strength you had left. It hurt so much suddenly you had stepped away from the moment, trying to focus on the effort without maintaining a full grasp on your body.

Your hearing muffled as your body resisted.

There was no way around this, but through it. You bucked against the stirrups and bore down one last time.

“We have a head!” The nurse exclaimed, excitement blooming in your chest.

You looked at Sam. Your tears of relief and wonder matched in his eyes. You pushed again, teeth clenched as an unholy growl escaped from deep inside you.

“It’s a boy!” The doctor cried.

You fell limp as they moved to clean up your son. Sam was called over for the cord. Somewhere in the chaos, the doctor got you through the afterbirth. Then, at long last, you were able to hold your baby.

Sam handed him to you as you adjusted to lay him flush to your chest, feeling his clammy skin to yours. He was so tiny, and warm, a wrinkled bruiser, and the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

“Ohhhhh,” you cooed through more tears. “Hey, buddy. It’s good to see you.”

You kissed his downy head, feeling peace float through you. You looked up to Sam, who remained standing, watching you with such reverence in his expression that you laughed at him.

“We did it,” you gushed.

“Nah, this one is all you,” Sam winked before he brushed his thumb over the back of the baby’s head.

“Where’s Dean?”

“He and Jack are in the waiting room,” Sam answered, not looking away from the baby’s face.

You nodded before you looked down to find the baby squirming against your breast. “Let them wait.”

Sam hummed in agreement.

“Alright, little man, this is your first lesson: driver picks the music, while carseat sleeps the whole way home. Ya got it?” Dean crooned down to your son as you snapped the last latch in place.

“That’s cute that you think I am going to let you drive him home,” you teased.

“What?! Come on, you can’t drive; I heard the doctor! You guys can ride with me and my baby! It is only right that his first car ride be in the Impala,” Dean argued. Sam sighed and Dean spun on the spot. “No, not you too.”

“There isn’t really the right kind of hook ups in the backseat, Dean,” Sam reasoned.

“Oh don’t you get all safety patrol on me now,” Dean huffed.

“I mean, we could always install some brackets----,” you started, smirking at Sam.

“I’m not even going to let you finish,” Dean cut you off. “Fine. Take your crappy import back. But Little Bobby is going to ride with me, sooner or later.”

You knew he was right. And you would have bet that Dean was already figuring out what hidden adjustments he could make without “yuppifying” his prized Chevy.

“Little Bobby?” Jack questioned, looking to Sam in confusion. Your husband just shrugged.

“What? You name my nephew Robert and don’t like it when I call him Lil Bobby?” Dean looked between you and Sam with an exasperated dead eye.

“We named him Robert Rafe John Winchester, Dean,” Sam clarified.

“We’re calling him RJ,” you finished.

“That’s nice,” Dean replied before leaning down and fist bumping your son’s little knuckles. “See ya at home, Lil Bobby. Your folks are nuts. Tough break, kid.”

“Right,” Sam chuckled as he picked up the handle on the bucket carseat, following you as the five of you made your way out of the hospital room. You walked behind Jack, who was lost in thought, as he kept up with Dean.

All your boys.

The only person missing was Mary; you felt her absence like a proverbial gray cloud hovering over your heads. There was still work to do, baby or no.

Sam and Dean wouldn’t quit until the world was safe. Their mother’s safety was only the next hurdle.

And you wouldn’t expect any less from your family. You knew your child would be protected; he didn’t need normal to be happy and healthy and neither did you.

You had everything you needed, you had your husband and your son. The hunt was out there waiting for when you were ready to get back to it.

You were complete.

Series tags: @dontshootmespence @ericaprice2008 @chucksnotonanyflatbread @reid-fiction @madlu45 @mogaruke @akshi8278 @mrswhozeewhatsis

#questions: who #spn fanfic #sam winchester fanfic #sam x reader #sam x reader series #sam angst #supernatural fanfiction #questions series #sam winchester fanfiction series #sam fluff #we're going to let uncle dean be ridiculous #we need a happy ending here okay?

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percywinchester27 · 4 years ago

Text

About a boy (Part-15 Final)

Word count: 2.6K

Warning: Feels, mentions of physical abuse and child-trafficking. Did I mention feels?

Characters: Dean, Cas, Gabriel, Benny, Michael, Will, OCs and… Sam?

Summary: Dean Winchester has a secret. A secret that could really land him in trouble. He never expected to connect with anyone when he walked into the ‘Blue Stone Orphanage for Boys,’ but even then, the walls he has put up are slowly coming down. Now, a series of strange events are threatening to expose him. When everything starts falling apart around him, will he still be able to save the one person that matters the most?

A/N: The last one, guys! Thank you for all your love <3

All my love to @thing-you-do-with-that-thing and @deanssweetheart23 for beta reading this story <3

About a boy masterlist

“All your stuff is in here,” Dean said, putting the bag on the counter. “Your clothes, books, and everything else.”

The last thing Dean had wanted to do was to go back to the Orphanage, especially now that there was no one there. Better him than Will, though. Which was why he had made up his mind and asked Bobby to make the detour. The place looked haunted, now that it was completely empty, save for the few cops doing rounds and working on the evidence.

Shuffling through Will’s things had made him realise how impersonal all of them were. Most of his clothes were used and donated ones. The five pairs of clothes, including those that he slept in, did not fit him well. The majority of the trunk under his bed was just books- Old, yellowed and tattering books.

Dean had been staring out of the window lost in thought when Bobby made a pit stop outside a shopping centre.

“We have to get something his size for the kid. He can’t step out of the hospital tomorrow in these clothes.”

Dean had to admit; Bobby had been pretty awesome about the whole deal. It had been all trial and error when it had come to raising Dean, but now he knew what he was doing. Will had thanked both Bobby and Jody profusely for wanting to adopt him, and it had taken some convincing to get it through his head that it wasn’t charity or a favour. They really wanted him to be a part of their family.

Convincing him had been mostly easy. The hard part was the Kensingtons. They weren’t willing to let go of Will and were ready to get dirty about it. With all the drama, child services had stepped in. It wasn’t like the Kensingtons could drag Will away with them, but this meant a substantial delay till the paperwork was sorted. Will was stuck here, and Dean wasn’t going to leave him alone in all this. It meant renting a cheap motel for the month, but hey, it was still a million times better than the orphanage.

Presently, Will blinked at the bag. “You went back to that place?”

He could walk now and manage to do most things by himself.

“Sure! Here, try this one on,” Dean said, throwing the new t-shirt on the bed. It was black and had ‘π-rate’ printed on it next to the face of an eye-patch wearing bearded man. “We picked this for you on our way here. See if it fits. There’s a few more inside the bag.”

Will stared at the t-shirt like it was something alien and the expression tugged at something inside Dean.

It was the little things that broke Dean’s heart. Before, he wouldn’t have cared about getting a new shirt, but all this was so new for Will. No one had ever bought him anything; something specially for him and completely his.

This was just the first of many, and Dean was going to be there for all the rest.

It was still subduing to walk Will to the temp centre at Child services. It was a comfortable place, and Dean had promised Will that he would be here as much as he could. Though Will still looked morose going in, like he was doubtful his happiness was lasting.

That night, Dean couldn’t get much sleep between nightmares of Will calling out to him as Andy dragged him into the car and cries of baby Sam when Dean had carried him out of their burning house. He spent the whole night tossing and turning, then woke up late in the morning. It was already too bright outside the window when Dean sat up groggily. Beside him, Bobby’s bed was empty.

He checked the clock. 10:17. Dammit!

What would Will think? Dean had promised to be there early in the morning and now even Bobby had disappeared to some place.

So he did all he could. He washed himself and got dressed for the day, then paced around the room waiting for Bobby, fixing the tiny messes in the room, like empty food bags and burger wrappers. Eventually Dean found himself back on his bed, his bags emptied on the covers.

God, there was so much mess.

He should have cleaned his trunk at least once when he had been living in the dorm, because now there was a gross mouldy half eaten bagel there that he didn’t even remember having touched. Ever.

He hadn’t added anything to what he had left with from Sioux Falls, except some school books. Underneath the pile of clothes, his hand hit something solid. Slowly, Dean pulled out the long rosewood box that Bobby had given him. In all the crazy mess, he had never had the time to actually go through it.

Dean opened it cautiously. The contents had of course remained unchanged, though he was stuck by the power of them all the same. He ran his fingers lightly over the baby angel, and the silver charm bracelet. Maybe it had belonged to his mother, maybe it was an anniversary gift from his dad. The small folding knife was jammed at first, but when Dean pried it open, it gleamed wicked sharp. The inside was etched with H.W. Maybe it had belonged to some long lost family member. Each of the objects was a ‘maybe,’ a story in itself. A story which Dean would never know.

He turned to the black and white pictures, especially to the one where his mom was holding him from behind. If Dean hadn’t known for sure that it was in fact him and his mom, he’d have never believed it. For one, he was smiling too widely. He didn’t ever remember smiling so much, even as a kid, and secondly, mom was beautiful. She was so beautiful. Her eyes were so full of love, that it hurt to look at her, and then it hurt to look away.

If Dean was being completely honest, this was why he had never opened the box again. He couldn’t look at those memories without feeling this ache in his chest. He flipped through the pictures. His parents in front of their car, his dad holding a huge fish, laughing with a friend. His mom kissing baby Sam on the forehead, while small Dean was looking at his little brother. The baby’s hand was tightly wrapped around Dean’s finger. Like he was holding on to something important.

Dean sighed.

What would his mom think of him now? Would she be disappointed in him that he had stopped looking for Sam? Stopped looking for her baby?

If he closed his eyes and concentrated really hard, he could almost hear her voice, humming the notes of ‘Hey, Jude.’

Dean looked at the picture again. She was just so beautiful, and the baby was so happy. Little Sam’s face was turned towards the camera. The hand not holding Dean’s finger was fisted and turned towards the camera, a dimpled smile on his face. His mother's face was looming right above his, her lips hovering over the tiny black spot next to his nose… The spot was just like…

“Shit!” Dean swore, jumpin out of his bed, his things tumbling onto the floor.

“Shit shit shit,” he muttered, shoving the picture in his pocket and hurriedly pulling on his shoes.

The door opened and Bobby came in. He had the weirdest smile plastered to his face. Another time, Dean would have called it creepy and laughed over it.

Today, he ran to Bobby and grabbed him by the arm.

“Bobby! You won’t freaking believe this!” He yanked the photo out of his pocket and shoved it in Bobby’s face, “Look! He has a mole next to his nose. That’s exactly where-”

“Will has it,” Bobby completed, the grin on his face stretching further.

What was happening? Dean felt his breath coming up short and he sat down at the edge of his bed, feeling faint from either excitement or fear that this was all just a dream.

Bobby pulled out an envelope from his back pocket and handed it to Dean. “You might want to take a look at this.”

Dean’s fingers trembled as he reached out and took the envelope. Inside was a medical paper of some sort. He could spot his name on it, but most of it was gibberish to him in the keyed up state of his brain.

“What’s this?” he asked, waving the paper around.

“It’s a DNA test,” Bobby said. “It proves that Will really is your brother.”

“What?”

Bobby sat down next to him. “I asked the doctor to run it right after they operated Will. I mean it was a crazy coincidence that your blood group matched. And that’s one hell of a rare blood group in America. Did it not occur to you that it might mean something more?”

Dean was too shocked to react.

“That, and his eyes are shaped exactly like John’s. You didn’t spend that long with your old man, but for me, it was hard to miss.” Bobby shrugged. “I didn’t want to tell you before I got the results and knew for sure.”

“He’s really Sam. He’s really my Sammy, isn’t he?” Dean whispered wonderingly. The burst of energy that had come to him had all dissipated just as suddenly. He was cold and clammy. “He was right in front me all along.”

“This means one other thing.” Bobby looked at him sideways. “The Kensingtons have no case now. Nobody is taking him away.”

And then Dean was crying in his hands. Years and years of exhaustion, worry and fear just ebbing away. This was unbelievable, too good to be true.

Bobby put an arm around him, and it felt right. Of course Will was Sam. Of course he belonged.

“C’mon, let’s go tell your brother,”

*******************************************

Will had been waiting for them in the lobby of the Child welfare Centre, nervously pacing as if he was scared that Dean wouldn’t show.

When he saw them, the relief spread quickly through his features before morphing into annoyance.“Where were you?” He demanded. “You’re an hour late.”

Dean didn’t retort like he usually would have. He simply couldn’t stop looking at his brother. His brother.

“I have something for you,” he said quietly.

Will scowled. “Don’t think you can get out of keeping me waiting by buying me a cool t-shirt or something!” But the anger was already leaving. “And you’re looking at me weirdly. Why’re you looking at me weirdly?”

“Here,” Dean pulled out the picture. “Take this.”

Will took it, then gave him a puzzled look.

“That’s me,” Dean pointed out. “And this is mom.”

Will’s eyes glazed over and a small smile tugged at his lips. “She loves you. I can tell,” he said. It was quite obvious from the picture. “Is this Sam?”

Dean put his finger on the baby. “This right here,” he took a deep breath. “This right here is you.”

Will looked up startled. “Dean!”

“It really is you. Look, look at that mole. It’s exactly where you have it.”

Will shook his head, eyes wide, like he was scared of believing.

Dean took hold of Will’s hand and thrust the DNA report in it. “Here, take this. It’s a DNA report.” In low voices they quickly explained to Will what Bobby had told him at the motel.

“All that time in the record room, all those nights, we were looking for me?” His voice was strangled.

“Yes, Will. Yes.”

Will was staring hungrily at the picture now, as if he couldn’t get enough of it. His eyes lingered on their mom and then where his tiny palm was wrapped around Dean’s pinkie finger.

He gave Dean one disbelieving watery look and then flung his arms Dean’s waist, burying his face in the front of Dean’s shirt.

Dean gave a watery laugh himself. “So I guess you really are stuck with me now, huh, little brother?”

Will gave a sob.

“Sure you don’t want to run away with those rich ass Kensingtons?” Dean said it mostly as a joke, but the apprehension was still there underneath it all.

Will shook his head. “They wouldn’t have wanted me if I wasn’t some sort of protege or whatever they were calling it. You… you wanted me even when I was nothing… when I wasn’t even your brother…”

He sniffled. “I don’t want any of it. I want you.”

“Yeah, alright now... hush,“ Dean said, rolling his eyes to stop the tears. “Don’t go wiping your snot on my clothes. That’s still not allowed.”

Will snorted amidst the waterworks and Bobby handed him a bottle of water. It took a while to calm him enough to talk without hiccuping.

Bobby had gone to handle the paperwork with the Child services. They were heading to the precinct next to clear the formalities and were taking Will with them.

“Hey,” Dean said softly. Will, who was leaning against him, jerked a bit. All the crying had exhausted him. Dean worried that the emotional and physical strain was messing with him.

“What do you wanna be called?”

“What do you mean?” Will sat up straight in his chair facing Dean.

“I mean you can go by ‘Will’ or ‘Sam,” whatever you want.

Will was quiet.

“You can take time to think about it,” Dean suggested

He shook his head. “Sam. I wanna go by Sam.”

“What? Don’t you want to think about it?”

“No, I don’t,” he said. “I can come out and say this now, but I was a bit jealous of the way you talked about Sam… the longing when you said the name. It meant something to someone.” he hesitated. “Mom… and dad… this meant something to them. ‘Will’ is probably just a lottery name or the matron just loved Shakespeare too much.”

“But it has been your identity for so long,” Dean said gently. “You don’t have to give it up just because you found out your real name.”

“It’s not it,” Will said. “I want to be Sam Winchester.”

Dean caught his breath. Sam Winchester. It felt like such a big name for such a small boy.

“Alright then,” Dean said. “Sammy,’ it is!”

Will’s… Sam’s eyebrow quirked up. “I agreed to ‘Sam,’ not ‘Sammy!”

“Yeah whatever, Sammy,” Dean grinned.

“Sammy’ sounds like a five year olds name!”

“You can whine all you want. I ain’t gonna stop calling you that.”

Sam huffed, then crossed his arms. Dean could see he was trying hard to not laugh. “Fine. But you’re the only one who gets to call me that.”

Dean smirked.

“Boys!” Bobby had appeared at the far end of the lobby. He was already carrying Sam’s bags, gesturing to them to hurry up. “C’mon! Time to go.”

Both of them slid down from the chairs, standing besides each other.

“You ready?” Dean asked.

“Mhmm.”

“Let's go home, Sammy.”

With that they both walked out into the evening sun. Neither of them turned to look back.

*******************************

A/N 2: I cried while writing the end. The epilogue is based one year later... I so hope y’all like it also <3

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#dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #spn fanfiction #weechesters AU #supernatural fanfiction #aab 15 #aab final part #anawrites #anawritesspn #Ana writes aab #q

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thinkingaboutyoungroyals · 4 years ago

Text

Carrying On

A/N: So... I ended up writing a thing.

AO3

Dean knows he’s dying.

The warm blood running down his back and the excruciating burning pain somewhere near his spine only confirms that he got himself into a situation that he has no way out of. He’s been stabbed and burned so many times that he’s almost numb to the idea that he’s not long for this world.

A nail in the back.

What a fucking stupid way to die.

It’s not how he thought he would go but at least it’s a death he has control of.

But, truth be told, he’s scared. There’s so much he still wants to do. So many monsters to slay. Places to see. New pie flavors he’s yet to try.

And Sam... Sam...

Even with his vision darkening, all he can see is Sam, his baby brother. The most precious and most important person in his life. His dorky, giant, book nerd of a brother.

Dean is so proud of him. Now, Sam can go wherever he wants and do whatever the hell he feels like without Dean holding him back. He should look for Eileen, she's good for him.

He hopes Sam takes good care of Miracle, go on walks with her, and let her eat the leftovers off his plate. It’s funny how he and Sam always wanted a dog when they were kids but John wouldn’t let them. And now that they finally got one... now that they finally have some semblance of a normal life, Dean has to leave.

But, despite all that, he really has no regrets.

He can be at peace now.

Well... he's got one regret.

But, maybe… just maybe…

The thought leaves him as his eyes finally close and his mind blanks.

He’s not sure how long he’s been out for but there’s a whispering in his ear. Various voices he can’t name. What they’re saying, Dean can’t decipher. But, they’re there. They’re kind of annoying.

Is this hell?

God knows he doesn’t belong in heaven. But, then again, if Jack’s in charge now, maybe he’ll get special treatment.

Dean wants to laugh but finds himself unable to do so.

Is he allowed to laugh in hell?

He continues to stay in darkness with the whispers. He strains to hear what they’re saying but every time he thinks he’s caught a glimpse of a familiar word or phrase, it escapes him again.

He tries to think of other things, then. Brighter things.

Like Sam. And Miracle.

Bobby. Jodie. Charlie. Donna. Kevin. Claire. Ellen. Jo.

Crowley. Rowena. Heck, even Ruby and Meg crosses his mind.

His mom. Dad, too. And, Adam, why the hell not?

And…

Is this his special brand of hell? Boredom? It’s pretty effective.

Dean will do anything for a spot of entertainment.

And another thing about this weird state of nothingness is that he can’t feel anything. Not his hands and feet. He can’t even wiggle his toes or twitch his nose. He can’t smell anything, either. He can't talk.

There are only the voices.

And they’re getting louder now.

“…octor says….. blood….”

How long has it been?

“…. Sam….”

What about Sam?

“…… wake up….”

Wake up from what? He’s dead.

“….. please….”

If Dean still has a beating start, it has surely stopped at hearing that voice.

That familiar, gravelly, pleading voice.

And, suddenly, he can feel.

Very light touches, at first.

Almost a whisper against his skin, if he even has any.

And, then, the pain followed.

It’s not the familiar burn of a stab.

More of a tightness of a wound after it’s been treated.

His wound has been treated.

Then, slivers of bright white light come peeking through the void.

Dean tries to squint and the light disappears again… and then reappears.

What the fuck?!

And, then, he feels, hears, and smells it all at once like a giant punch to the gut.

The pain of the wound on his back.

The voice talking.

A beeping.

The smell of antiseptic.

Fingers gently caressing his arm.

He can feel his arm.

He. Can. Feel.

Slowly, he uses all his strength to peel his eyes open. To finally see.

Blinding light momentarily forces him to close his eyes again.

“Dean?”

He’s pretty sure the pace his heart is beating right now is not good for his current condition.

He forces his eyes open again, slowly this time, so he can adjust to the light.

At first, everything looks blurry. He blinks a few times until things came to focus.

The familiar white walls of a hospital. A plastic chair. A closed door.

“Dean…”

Dean moves his gaze upwards.

Messy black hair. Ice blue eyes. The 5 o’clock shadow that never seems to go away.

And an ugly trench coat that never looks good on anyone but Cas always manages to pull off.

Cas.

Castiel.

He’s here.

“Y-You…” Dean tries but his voice refuses to cooperate.

Castiel smiles and it shoots an arrow right at Dean’s heart as he’s reminded of the last time he saw that smile.

“Hi, Dean.”

“Dean!” a new voice joins them.

Within seconds, Sam comes into view. He looks awful. The mop that he calls hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed in days. The dark circles under his eyes are even darker like he’s some kind of giant raccoon. And his clothes are the same ones he wore during their hunt.

The hunt. With the vampires and the clown masks and the missing kids.

The hunt where he died.

Or… almost died… right?

“S-Sam…” he manages.

“Don’t talk,” his brother says, coming to his side.

Castiel moves to make room for him and, for a moment, Dean panics.

If this is Hell’s way of torturing him… showing him his brother and Castiel and making him believe he’s alive only to take them all away again… damn them all.

The beeping sound he has been ignoring grows frantic as he tries to get up.

“Dean, no!” Sam pushes him back down and Dean realizes that he’s laid on his stomach.

That makes sense, he was stabbed in the back, after all.

“Lie back down, you shouldn’t try to get up yet. The doctor said you lost a lot of blood. And it’s a miracle you pulled through.”

Sam looks like he’s aged ten years as he sighs and occupies the empty chair next to the bed. “Can you not... do that again, please? I really can’t…”

Dean opens his mouth to answer but, again, his voice refuses to cooperate. And he’s tired again all of a sudden.

“It’s okay, you can go back to sleep,” Sam says, managing to smile at him.

Dean forces his voice out as his lids get heavy. “C-Cas…”

The angel comes into view again. “I’m here Dean. I’m not leaving. Get some rest.”

Dean loses the battle to his eyelids and closes his eyes. He feels himself drifting off and this time, the void of darkness no longer feels like hell. He doesn’t dream, though. And he’s scared again.

Scared that it’s not real.

He’s not sure if he’ll survive if it’s not real.

He’d rather die again.

The next time he wakes up, he’s less confused. Still a little suspicious. But upon seeing Castiel the moment he opens his eyes, he allows himself to hope that it’s all true.

He’s here. He’s still alive. And Castiel has returned to them. To him.

He’s still on his stomach and he struggles to move himself to a more comfortable position. He’s hooked to an I.V. and a few other wires, which is really annoying.

But, Castiel moves forward to help and Dean lets him.

“You shouldn’t be moving this much, yet,” the angel scolds, fondly.

Sam appears behind him with a cup of water and helps Dean drink.

He gulps it down, greedily. Water had never tasted as good as it did at that moment.

He drinks and drinks until he couldn’t anymore and Sam moves out of view again to put the cup away.

Dean focuses on Castiel.

“You’re here,” he finally says, his voice much better than it was the last time.

Castiel nods. “Yes, I am.”

“How did you…”

How did you get out of the Empty? Was there a way all along and they hadn’t known? Why didn't he back come sooner?

“Jack saved me,” Castiel answers. “He got me out. Took me to heaven.”

Of course, Jack did. He’s a good kid. Better than all of them.

There’s silence now. There’s a lot to say but Dean doesn’t know how to start. The last time they talked…

What little blood he had left rushes to his cheeks. He hopes Sam and Castiel don’t notice.

A throat clears and Sam comes into view again. “I’m gonna go get a coffee. Cas, you want one?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay. I’ll… uh… leave you two to catch up.”

Sam smiles at Dean, patting his leg before heading out of the room and shutting the door firmly behind him.

Castiel settles on the empty chair, pulling it closer to Dean’s bed.

“Sam hasn’t slept,” he says, avoiding Dean’s eyes. “I told him I’d watch you in his stead so he could return to the bunker but he refuses to do so. He only went once to make sure Miracle has enough food. You adopted a dog. She’s beautiful and so well-behaved-.”

“Cas,” Dean interrupts, happy to hear that Castiel likes his dog but there are important things he needs to say. “Did Sam call you?”

Castiel shakes his head. “No, he didn’t.”

“But, how did you…”

“I heard you... Dean.” The angel finally makes eye contact. “You called for me and I heard you.”

Dean vaguely remembers thinking about Castiel before he fell unconscious. How he hoped that they would meet wherever he ended up. He knew, even back then, that it was a long shot.

Still… he had hoped.

Turns out that hope was well-placed.

“So… you saved me.”

To his surprise, Castiel shakes his head and lets out a chuckle. “No, the paramedics did. Sam called them as soon as I arrived after you lost consciousness.”

Dean blinks. “Oh.”

Less dramatic than he thought but, at least, for once, he wasn’t saved by some outside power he had no control over. Just by human beings. That’s fine.

Then, Castiel’s demeanor saddens. “You gave up so soon, Dean. We almost lost you.”

Dean really hates it when Castiel is upset. He’s like a puppy who got kicked. And who kicks puppies? Monsters, that’s who.

“Hey.” He wants to lift a hand to nudge the angel but his limbs feel too heavy so he just grins. “I’m alive. By some miracle, apparently.”

“Yes.”

Dean clears his throat. “About… the last time I saw you…”

Castiel quiets and looks away again.

Dean almost bites his tongue. But, then, he remembers how he didn’t have enough time to even sort out his thoughts the last time. He didn’t even get the chance to answer before Castiel was taken away.

“You said… that your happiness… is the one thing you can’t have.”

Castiel still refuses to look at him.

“Cas… what if… you can…?” Dean swallows the lump in his throat but forces his voice out. “Have it… I mean… You know…”

Finally, Castiel lifts his head up and meets his gaze, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. His hands, firmly folded on his lap, reaches out to take Dean’s own.

“Thank you, Dean.” But, then, the smile disappears again. “But… I can’t.”

Dean’s heart dropped to his stomach.

Did Castiel change his mind? Is it because Dean didn’t try to get him out of The Empty? Is he angry? Did Dean mess things up before they even started?

Castiel must have seen his face because he shakes his head, smiling again.

“Nothing has changed in how I feel about you,” he explains, squeezing Dean’s hand, comfortingly. “It’s just… I’m not human anymore, Dean. And I have responsibilities again.” His smile widens to that of a proud parent. “Jack is rebuilding Heaven. And I’m helping him. We’re going to get it back to the way it was always meant to be. A place for everyone to come and rest and be happy the way they deserve. But… Dean… It’s not your time to be there, yet.”

Dean protests. “But-.”

Castiel shakes his head. “Everything you did… everything you sacrificed… You saved the world. You and Sam. And you both deserve to see the fruits of your labor. You’re still needed here on Earth, Dean.”

“But… what about you?”

What about us? he wants to say.

The angel laughs. “Me? I’ll wait. Like I always do. It appears that I’m quite good at waiting when it comes to you.”

Dean’s heart skips a beat.

“But, don’t come up too soon. I mean it, Dean.”

He snorts, forcing himself to look away and seem nonchalant. “If you’re that mad about me dying too soon, fine.” He smirks. “Gotta play nice with God’s dad, right?”

Castiel laughs again. He tries to let go of Dean’s hand but Dean holds on, flashing him a look that he hopes says everything he can’t physically say, himself.

And, as always, Castiel understands and leaves their hands entwined.

Now that that’s out of the way, there’s another matter that’s niggling in the back of Dean’s mind.

So, he looks away again, focusing his gaze on the foot of his bed.

“How long are you here for?” he asks.

Castiel doesn’t answer, at first. Dean dreads the answer.

“Until you’re well enough to leave the hospital.”

A couple of days then. Maybe a week. Dean’s not sure. He should have asked Sam.

But, it’s more time than he ever hoped to have.

He’s not stupid enough to waste it.

He turns his gaze back to smile at Castiel again, reassuring the angel that he’s okay. He’s going to be okay.

“So… how’s Heaven looking?”

He ends up staying at the hospital for several weeks. And true to his word, Castiel doesn't leave. He’s there when Dean wakes up and still there when he goes to sleep. Sam is also there most of the time but now that Dean is awake and is, for sure, going to live, according to the doctors, he goes back to the bunker to make sure Miracle is fed, watered, and walked.

Meanwhile, Dean gets his bandages changed and his back poked and prodded by doctors and nurses. He gets physical therapy and regains control of his arms and legs again.

His recovery is unusually fast and miraculous, according to the hospital staff. Dean wonders if Castiel had anything to do with it but decided not to ask.

So, you’d think that when the doctor gives him the green light to go home, he’d be happy. And, he is, really. He can’t wait to leave.

He’s tired of hospital food. He’s tired of only seeing the four white walls of his room and, occasionally, the tiny hospital garden that Sam and Castiel would take him to when he was feeling bored.

But, when he leaves the hospital, Castiel also leaves.

Dean’s not sure if he’s ready.

But, time or fate or destiny or whatever doesn’t give a crap if he’s ready or not.

He’s now dressed in an old Led Zeppelin shirt, his green cargo jacket, and jeans. He’s wearing jeans! After weeks of only wearing an itchy hospital gown, it feels a little weird to be wearing real clothes again.

He fixes the cuff of his jacket. In front of him, Castiel stands in silence. Waiting for him.

Sam is down at the lobby, getting paperwork done so they can check out. He and Castiel had already said their goodbyes, giving each other tight hugs before parting.

Now, it’s Dean’s turn.

He’s not ready to say goodbye again.

When he lifts his head, Castiel is watching him in that close and examining way he often does. As if he’s taking a photo of Dean and imprinting it in his memory.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

No, Dean thinks.

Instead, he shrugs.

Castiel smiles softly and steps forward. He places a hand on Dean’s left shoulder and Dean can almost feel the remnants of that old handprint from when the angel first rescued him from the depths of hell.

It felt so long ago.

“Will you promise me one thing before I leave?” Castiel asks.

Dean places a hand over his, gripping it tightly. “Anything, Cas.”

Castiel continues to smile but there’s now a hint of sadness to it. “Live. Please. No matter how tempting it may be to die, just live. I want you to live.”

Dean nods. “Okay.” He means it.

The angel releases a breath of relief. “I will watch over you. Like I always do. Like I always have from the very beginning.”

He can feel the familiar sting of tears but refuses to let them fall. “Will you hear my prayers?”

Castiel doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Always.”

“Will you and Jack come by and have dinner with us sometimes?”

Castiel laughs, genuinely. “We’ll do our best.”

Dean lets out a chuckle and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Rebuilding Heaven is a busy job. But, nothing you two can’t handle. Can’t wait to see it.”

“Not-.”

“Not any time soon, got it.” He squeezes Castiel’s hand. “I promise.”

Satisfied, Castiel nods.

“Say ‘hi’ to the kid for us? And Bobby, too. Mom and Dad. Charlie.”

“All of them. I swear it.”

Castiel steps closer, his eyes focused on Dean’s face. Dean, too, memorizes his face. Takes a picture of it and saves it in his memory.

This angel who saved him. This angel who taught him to believe. This angel who loved him despite his faults and mistakes.

“I’ll miss you, man,” he confesses.

“As will I.”

With that, Castiel wraps his arms around him and Dean closes his eyes and doesn’t hesitate to return the hug. When he feels lips press to the side of his head, soft and affectionate, his heart swells with joy.

“Goodbye for now, Dean.”

“See you, Cas.”

When Dean opens his eyes, he’s holding nothing but air. The room is empty. Castiel is gone.

Yet, Dean has never felt such peace.

Miracle is running towards him, barking her head off. Laughing, Dean crouches down, carefully, and opens his arms to hold her.

“Hey, there, girl! You missed me? I missed you! Has Sammy been taking good care of you? I bet he doesn’t let you eat off the pans, does he? Don’t worry, things are gonna be back to normal now.”

Behind him, Sam snorts. “You spoil her you know! She wouldn’t leave me alone when I was doing the dishes!”

Dean scratches the dog’s head, affectionately, before carefully getting to his feet.

“And that, Sammy, is why I’m her favorite.”

He can’t see him but he can imagine his brother rolling his eyes.

Together, they cross the hospital parking lot to where the other love of his life, his Baby, stood parked and waiting for them, loyal, as always.

He was under meds so he’s not allowed to drive. It sucks.

Sam flashes him a look when they reached the car, his hand held out.

Dean sighs, resigned, and throws him the keys. “This is the last time,” he insists, knowing that it’s a lie.

Sam simply shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

Dean opens the back door and Miracle happily hops in and settles down on the seat. He gave her one last head scratch before closing the door and sliding into the passenger side.

Reverently, he runs his hands all over the leather seat and the dusty dashboard.

“Hey, Sam.”

His brother slides into the driver’s seat. “Yeah?”

“Do you think if I died, Baby would have come with me?”

Sam snorts as he inserted the key. “Don’t be ridiculous, Dean. Cars don’t go to heaven.”

“Baby is special.”

“She’s still a car.”

“After all this time, Baby, he never appreciated you.”

Sam snorts as he turns the key to start the engine.

The beautiful rumbling sound of Baby coming to life is accompanied by a voice from the radio.

“Carry on my wayward son… There’ll be peace when you are done… Lay your weary head to rest… Don’t you cry no more…”

Dean grins as Sam pulls out of the parking lot and drives them home.

“Man, I love this song!”

Everything is going to be okay now. They will carry on. They will live.

#supernatural #destiel #i needed to get this out of my system #it was very cathartic

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9or10allgood · 4 years ago

Text

I'm indulging in the Doctor Who marathon on BBCAmerica. It's been wonderful. I'm in the middle of Twelve, now, which is - next to Ten - my happy place.

Thirteen is looming.

Now, before anyone has a knee-jerk reaction and thinks I don't like the Thirteenth Doctor, you couldn't be more wrong. I love her to bits. Jodie Whittaker is awesome. She has poured herself into being the Doctor, heart and soul. I love that she travels with an entourage - going back to the First, the best Doctors do. She's had some really good stories, courtesy of Chris Chibnall - in fact, I give her first series a B+/A-. The second series, however...

Stick with me for a bit.

I like - no, I looo-ooo-oove fan fiction. Partly because it is a fairly consistent reaffirmation of creativity and literacy (yes, I said it!) and courage and daring - because it takes guts to put yourself out there for public critique without getting paid one red cent. But mostly because it is a way of indulging in flights of fancy within a bubble. Because fan fiction is, even when it is "canon compliant", still shading or filling in the blanks or expanding on what the original author set down. And the bubble is a safe place, where everyone (mostly) respects those boundaries between source material and fan fiction.

The perfect example of this is everything that happened in Pete's World post-Canary Wharf. We assume that the Doctor was going to tell Rose he loved her before time ran out, and copious amounts of fan fiction has been written about that. We assume that TenToo rectified that issue at Bad Wolf Bay the second time around. But we don't know, and that's okay because the veil was drawn on Pete's World with the disappearance of the TARDIS, and Pete's World became a creative goldmine. Thank God.

Back in the day (and I swear I still have a point) I belonged to a fan fiction site based on Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time. (Not "Dragonmount", thank you very much!) Between twenty and thirty writers, drawn together by our love for that amazingly complex series of books, we wrote - individually and in small groups - epic fiction based on the Age of Legends and the Trolloc Wars, because neither era was portrayed in the books, other than very brief glimpses. Even so, there was a canonical framework that we existed in, and we respected it. For example, there were hints of Aes Sedai being able to fly during the AoL, but that didn't mean that the Sisters during the TW were going to do it, because canon told us that the miracles of the Age of Legends had been lost with the Breaking and were not recovered until the timeline of the books. As long as the canon was respected, the writing flourished - for years. Eventually, though, lines were blurred and the stories suffered, and it's been years since anyone has written anything there.

And now I'll get back to my point.

When Russell T Davies brought Doctor Who back to television, he respected the canon that had been established. He didn't change Gallifrey, he removed it. It had given us the Doctor and the Master and the TARDIS and a running potential of planets and races affected by the Time War that could keep the Doctor occupied for a long, long time. It's purpose had been served. It's *nebulous hand waggle* demise fuelled the great engine of angst that powered the reboot. It heightened what had become a bit of a stodgy "oh, no, it's the Daleks, again" sensibility regarding a cross between a pepperpot and a wheely-bin, and gave them a renewed sense of villainy. It's what made the episode, "Dalek", such a gut-punch. It's what made seeing a mighty Dalek armada when there was only one Time Lord to stand against it so dramatically Quixotic - in an end-of-all-things sort of way.

It should have stayed that way.

I love RTD. I do. He was an awesome showrunner and he, with Julie Gardner, shepherded the reboot through possibly the greatest comeback in entertainment history. But I wasn't comfortable with the (temporary) return of Rassilon et al as his farewell to the show. And, sure 'nuff, it cracked open a door that Moffat bulldozed through with "The Day of the Doctor". And by the time he was through, the Doctor was popping "home" for soup and a bit o' sedition, and the next thing ya know, Chris Chibnall is turning the whole thing on its ear with the Timeless Children business and a convoluted plotline that would've needed an entire series to unravel and still would have read like fan fiction based on a poorly remembered fever dream.

Yes, I know that "Doctor Who" has been "fine-tuning" itself from the beginning. The First Doctor invented his time machine that his granddaughter named "TARDIS" - for Time and Relative Dimensions In Space. Today's canon has TARDISes grown, sentient, and having numbered in the thousands once upon a time. But there's a difference between an adjustment, here and there, and re-inventing the Time Rotor on the fly, as it were. One is a tweak to make the whole better. The other is throwing a bucket of yellow paint across a classic portrait of the Queen just so you can paint galloping horses on it. Why would you do it?

I'm really sad that Graham and Ryan are leaving. I'm really looking forward to the return of Captain Jack. I hope that bringing back someone as integral to the days of Russell T Davies will remind Chris Chibnall that the basic story of the Doctor has always been that an ancient alien from a fabled world travels throughout space and time with a lucky human or three, faces down injustice, rescues those who need it, and dances around fixed points and moral dilemmas with (occasional) alacrity.

And if Chibnall needs inspiration, I can point him to any number of fan fiction writers that totally get it.

#doctor who #chris chibnall #the difference between #canon #evolving and being blown to smithereens #meta

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apocalypseornaw · 4 years ago

Text

Walk Away-3

After so long apart you finally agree to see Sam and tell him the truth

You groaned as you sat back against the wall hoping this newest wave of nausea would pass.. It was normal according to the obgyn Tasha had helped you get into. You had just entered into your second trimester and found out the gender of the baby at your last appointment. She was growing perfectly and doing a number on your insides in the process. You heard someone clear their throat and looked up to see Max leaned against the doorway leading into the bathroom with a cup of tea in his hand. He held it out to you with a smile “Ginger tea with honey and lemon” You thanked him as you took the cup and allowed yourself a small sip of the warm liquid.

He walked a little further into the room before sitting down next to you his long legs stretched out in front of him “Donna Hanscum called again” you nodded before saying “That doesn’t really surprise me..has Jody and the girls started their rounds again?” he let out a sharp laugh “Not yet, it holds them off when they can talk with you but I had to tell Donna you weren’t here considering you don’t want Sam to know you’re currently starting to move past smuggling a basketball into smuggling a beach ball” “He doesn’t need to know” you mumbled but Max shook his head “He loves you Y/N. I don’t know what happened but he wouldn’t be trying this hard to get you to talk to him if he didn’t”

You leaned your head back against the wall then rolled your head over to look at Max “If and it’s a big if but if I was to agree to see him and Dean could you put a glamour on me?” his eyes went to your ever growing stomach “Oh you mean to hide the bump?” you nodded and he scratched his chin in thought then nodded “I think I can manage that with Alicia’s help. I’ll call Erik too, he's better at stuff along those lines” “Thanks Max and thank Erik for me too” he stood to go call Erik who was his boyfriend of a little over three years. You’d known him for a while but had gotten to know him better over the last few weeks considering his mom was your doctor. “When are you going to call Sam?” he asked from the door so you shrugged “When Jody calls I’ll tell her it’s fine to give Dean my new number then go from there” he nodded then walked out the room.

------

Sam was sitting at the table in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee and trying to ignore just how much the bunker itself seemed to miss your presence. How had he messed everything up this bad? How had Dean been able to see just how much pain you were in but he couldn’t? Christ he was an idiot. If he could do it over he would have never gone on that very first hunt where all of you met Lila.

She didn’t hold a candle to you. You were...hell you were a force of nature. Everyone who knew you was drawn to you. You were caring but strong, courageous but smart. You would dive in feet first to help someone you cared about and even strangers. He’d seen you go toe to toe with more than one demon just to save a life. You were a soft touch when needed but also was the first to make someone shake off any self doubt and get their fire back.

When Alex had needed help paying for college you’d found grants seemingly out of thin air. When Patience would get upset about her broken relationship with her father she’d call you. You were one of the few people Claire would take advice from without rolling her eyes.

As for the way you’d changed not only his life but Dean and Cas’ as well he didn’t have the words for. Dean never got a chance to withdraw into himself with you around because you’d be at his door slipping new cds under it or bribing him out with food and western movie marathons. Cas always seemed to brighten up when you walked into a room because you never let a day pass without reminding him just how important he was to what you called your family group.

When you’d come into Sam’s life you’d knocked him flat on his ass metaphorically speaking and literally speaking. He’d ended up catching a punch from you on accident. Dean had teased him that your right hook was what made him fall in love with you. Looking up to see a woman as beautiful as you were apologizing but calling him an idiot for getting in your way at the same time did help matters. From that day forward you were all he could think about. The day you finally moved into the bunker was the happiest day of his life.

The dreams of a so-called normal life was behind him but with you a new normal started to form in his mind. He never felt more whole than when you were in his arms. Waking up to you curled against his chest or with his arm around your waist was the most peace he’d ever felt. He loved you more than he ever dreamed possible to love someone after losing Jess. He felt like such a failure because he had apparently not shown you that. When you started to talk with Donna, Jody and the girls at least he knew you were alive,healthy and indeed staying with the Banes twins.

He knew they lived near a small town on the upper west coast but that was all he did know. He wanted nothing more than to track them down and beg for the chance to see you but for now at least knowing you were ok was the best compromise he was going to get. He sighed and looked down at his laptop. He had a few news websites up but his heart wasn’t in trying to find a case, his heart was wherever you were. He could hear Dean talking to someone in the library and thought maybe he had a case until he heard Dean say your name.

He quickly moved around the corner to see Dean pacing across the floor as he spoke on the phone. He caught a few words of what Dean was saying “Are you sure?...Yeah I promise...look you have my word...I will...ok...and sweetheart it’s good to hear from you” Was Dean talking to you? Why had you called Dean? Was something wrong? Were you hurt? He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he hadn’t realized Dean had not only hung up but had called his name three times.

“SAM!” Dean spoke harshly and he blinked a few times glancing at the phone still in his brother’s hand “Was that Y/N?” Dean nodded “Yeah she told Jody it was ok to pass her new number on to me..She’s willing to see you but she has a few conditions” “Anything, I’ll agree to anything” Sam answered quickly his mind going into overdrive at the thought of seeing you.

Dean nodded again then said “Grab your stuff. I’ll text her and let her know we’re hitting the road. I’ve got to call Max when we get close enough and he’ll come meet us to lead us up to their place”

------

“Are you sure you can’t tell?” you asked Erik for the sixth time since he’d finished the glamour. He sighed and shook his head “I’m sure. I’ve hid entire buildings, your little baby bump isn’t even a challenge” you smiled then smoothed the shirt you were wearing self consciously.

“Alicia why did I agree to talk to Sam again?” She walked in behind you and held out a bottle of water “Because you’re still in love with him, it’s blaringly obvious no matter what happened he’s still in love with you because they’ve made the trip from Lebanon in record time. Even if today doesn’t go well at least you know you tried” you took a deep breath and nodded. She was right of course. When Erik’s phone went off you nearly jumped out of your skin but his hand on your arm kept you in place “Calm down Y/N, that was just Max. They’re coming up the driveway”

No sooner than the words came out of Erik’s mouth you heard the familiar rumble of the Impala’s engine. Any other time that was music to your ears but now it made you a little queasy. Erik shot you a smile before grabbing his jacket “Me and Max are headed into town but when you want to lower the glamour I showed Alicia how ok?” you nodded “Thanks again Erik” “Anytime”

------

You took a deep breath when you heard the boots on the porch so Alicia moved to answer the door. You weren’t in direct eyesight so you heard Dean first say “Alicia, good to see you” she greeted him then said “Hi Sam” you felt your heart flip when he said “Hey Alicia, I um thank you for being a place she could come to” “She’s always welcome wherever me and Max are and we make sure she knows it” that was one of the many things you loved about Alicia. Her words and tone of voice was friendly but the underlying venom of having comforted a hurt friend was still very much there.

“Y/N?” Alicia called out as she shut the door behind the boys as if she didn’t know for a fact you were hiding in the small hallway between the front door and kitchen. “Right here” you replied stepping around the corner. Dean smiled when he saw you “Well you’re a sight for sore eyes” you were glad when he just hugged you with one arm around your shoulders on the off chance of him brushing against your stomach.

“I see you’ve actually managed to stay alive without me which is a miracle in itself” you teased with a tense smile trying to calm your nerves before meeting Sam’s eyes. God those fucking eyes of his. You stood there for a second staring at each other before Dean turned to Alicia “You got something to drink? Alcoholic or otherwise. I’d settle for tea or coffee” she gave him a small smile before winking at you and herding him towards the kitchen.

Once the two of you were alone you both started to speak at the same time. You laughed nervously “You want to go first?” he nodded then let out a harsh breath “I’m sorry. I know that probably falls flat but I am. You are the most important person in my life. I love you with everything in me and I failed to show you that. I failed to realize how much my actions were hurting you. I made you think I wanted someone else and I pushed you away. I don’t expect you to forgive me and I don’t expect you to come back with me but I’m grateful you chose to let me come here and tell you that face to face” You should’ve known with pregnancy hormones on top of everything else that you’d end up in tears. You wiped them away before they could fall before saying “Sam..god just tell me why? Why did you act like that towards her? Was the attachment to me the only thing stopping you? The fear of all our friends taking my side? Of your brother siding with me?”

“Baby no” he breathed and took a step towards you but when you quickly crossed your arms over your chest and stepped back he froze in his tracks. “I guess it was the feeling of losing someone you love to a demon. I’ve been there before then with what happened to her husband. It got me thinking about what happened to Jess happening to you. That’s not an excuse because you told me that you wanted other hunters backing her and I didn’t listen but please baby please know I have never wanted anyone else since the day I met you”

“But you didn’t listen to me Sam. That’s why I left! That’s why I came here and got them to ward me so you couldn’t find me. I couldn’t sit around waiting for you to break my heart and I’m not coming back with you no matter how much I want nothing more than to jump into your arms right now. If you want us...If you want a second chance before I tell you something I need a promise that you’ll be ok with it taking time, with me being here and you in Lebanon. I need you to actually think about it before you answer me Sam” you were trying so hard not to cry because you knew for a fact Dean and Alicia were standing just on the other side of that kitchen door waiting to intervene if you needed them to.

“I’d do anything for a second chance for us, to prove to you just how much you mean to me” you nodded slowly then called out “Alicia can you and Dean come here?” the door swung open quickly to both of them nearly stumbling over each other. “Yeah sweetie?” she asked so you braced yourself then said “They need to know” “And you’re sure?” she questioned so you nodded “Yeah I’m sure”

“Need to know what?” Dean asked but Alicia was already repeating the words Erik had told her would drop the glamour. The moment it faded and your stomach was back visibly rounded Dean’s eyes widened and poor Sam looked like he may faint or puke. “Is that why you left?” Sam asked quietly and you shook your head “I didn’t find out until about a month after I left. That’s why I came here”

Dean recovered quicker and held a hand out “Can I?” you nodded “She is your niece after all” “Niece, so it’s a girl?” he asked with a grin. Your hand came to cover Dean’s so you could place it on the light movements but your eyes never left Sam’s as you said “Yeah I just found out last week” a light kick made Dean’s grin get bigger “Look at that. She’s strong already” “Just like her mom” Alicia replied then reached for Dean’s arm “Let’s give them another minute” Dean nodded and kissed your cheek before saying “I love you kid and I’m gonna love her too” then followed her back into the kitchen.

Sam had remained silent so you finally looked up at him “Are you going to say anything?” a slight smile slipped onto his face before he quietly said “Can I touch you now? Because I really want to hug you and feel our daughter move” you moved towards him and he pulled you against his chest without hesitation. One large hand held your back while the other rested on your stomach “I love you Y/N. I’ll prove to you that things will be different. Nothing means more to me than you and her” you smiled up at him through the tears in your eyes “I love you too Sam”

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#spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester x female!reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction

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