#thaide

[thyla]

LOVE IN THE AIR | episode six

[riphimopen]

The LGBTAIQ+ Community Has condemned him to hell!

[keepontalking]

WAIT. KING HAD A BROTHER THIS WHOLE TIME???

[creator-eliminator]

huh

[sissy-tyler]

“Widdle Cupcake”

“Bu….but Mommy…..chu thaid I could make googoo’s on my birfday,” he pouted incoherently.

James had been diapered, sissified, and locked in chastity for the last year without even a milking to relieve his sexual tension, let alone an actual orgasm.

“Awwww, my widdle Jamie,” his wife, Cynthia, replied. “I said you could make googoos on your birthday if I felt you were mature enough, and little girl I don’t think you’re nearly there yet”

“How am I thupposed to be matuwe, mommy?”

“Well sweetie, for starters, can you even call me by my name? Sound it out cutie, Cyn-thi-a. And for seconds, nobody using a pacifier is close to being big enough for a big girl, adult orgasm. So I’ll cut you a deal, my *widdle cupcake*, if you can spit out your pacifier and say my name; I will let you out of your frilly, little frock right now, and I’ll give you the best sex of your life.”

Will Sissy Jamie be able to spit out her paci and call his wife by her actual name? Will she finally get the release she’s been craving for the last year? You’ll have to join my discord, Sissy Tyler’s Padded Palace to find out!

Over there you can access an entire treasure-trove of my content that’ll keep you rubbing your diaper for hours, and there’s even plenty of free community features to help you interact with your fellow sissies. Join Today!

[scorchieart]

That Time Jin Had a Toothache 🍭🦷

Jin: Make hathte! Look upon your ailing brother and heed what becometh the man who over-indulgeth in pleathure!

Yves: You ate four candied apples and chipped a tooth. 

Jin: Excuthe me. A chipped tooth, three cavitieth, and thwollen gumth. Don’t thkimp out on my eulogy. 

Yves: I’ll be sure to mention your noble sacrifice— 

*Jin reaches for a bear-shaped cookie. Yves swats his hand away* 

Yves: Are you serious right now? 

Jin: Cut me thome thlack. Luke made thothe when he heard I fell in the line of battle.

Yves: Stop acting like a martyr, you glutton.

Jin: Everything I do ith in martyrdom, little brother. The eldetht readily thaccrificeth himthelf for the betterment of the flock.

Yves: Be quiet, we’re not birds. And you’re melting the ice with all that hot air you’re spewing. 

*Yves adds a fresh pack of ice over the melting one on Jin’s cheek* 

Yves: Euugh! And you got spittle on the cushions, too! Keep it in, will you? I cannot understand half the words you’re saying anyhow.

Jin: Aww, but you had the cutetht lithp ath a child, Yves. Made the whole palath thquee every time you opened your mouth. I remember it took yearth till you finally got Thariel’th name right. Thariel… Th-th-thariel… Yiketh, that’th a toughie.

Leon: Ah, dude. Now you’re getting spit all over my fancy suit.

Jin: Hey, you do look fanthy today… Hold it. What ith that in your handth?

Leon: Exactly what you think it is. A gun!

Jin: Leon, don’t lie to me. I played Luke’th route. I know what a gun ith.

Leon: No, you big goof. This is a heat gun. Totally harmless! On the lower settings, anyways.

Jin: Uhuh. And where did you get it?

Leon: From the All for Love! celebration event a few years back. Remember that photo shoot for the chibi dolls?

Yves: Don’t remind me. Nokto wouldn’t stop making jokes about how big my hand mirror was.

Licht: At least they didn’t stick you in a giant makeup bag. They made me pose for hours with those brushes and wands poking into my gut. I still have the bruises.

Jin: Uhuh. And how come I’m jutht finding out about thith now?

Yves: Maybe if your smile wasn’t so at-risk for cavities you would’ve been invited.

Jin: Pleath. The ladieth love a man with a thweet tooth—OUCH! Leon! What the heck, man!

Leon: Sorry, bro. I’m under strict orders from Yves to puff you with hot air anytime you make an allusion to sweets.

Jin: Who died and made Yves king? I’m not thaying that in mockery, by the way. I’m jutht upthet thith ith yet another event you didn’t invite me to, it theemth.

Yves: It’s for your own good! A man at your age needs proper discipline to keep out of trouble. And since words haven’t worked, we’ve elected to resort to other means.

Jin: *gasp* You didn’t.

Yves: I haven’t yet. But if you don’t show any progress soon I’m calling in the royal dentist. I mean it, Jin.

Jin: Thcary. Back me up here, Licht.

Licht: …

Jin: What’th up, buddy? Cake got your tongue—Yeowch! What wath that for?

Licht: You said the c-word. 

Jin: Not you too! Why d’ya thmile when Yves thaid the d-word? And do ya have to poke me with that giant lanthe? 

Licht: Increasing the surface area of pain deamplifies the sensation at its source.

Yves: Who taught you that?

Licht: I read it in a book. *poke*

Jin: ACK! That’th it. I don’t want you talking to Chevalier unthupervithed anymore. 

Licht: As soon as you learn to stop poaching others’ pastries. Horse and I were looking forward to those candy apples all week.

Jin: Fine, fine. I’m thorry. There, can you let me go now?

Yves: Not until you’ve proven you’re completely cured of your nasty saccharine habit. We’re not leaving this room until you can go a full day without eating these cookies.

Jin: You’d let them go bad like that? That’th too cruel!

Leon: Yeah, I’m with him on this one, Yves. Couldn’t we just use a picture of cookies instead? Would hate to see Luke’s work go to waste.

Yves: Oh, lay off it. They’re not going to spoil. And anyways, we’re feeding them to the horse at the end.

*Horse whinnies happily*

Leon: That’s one weird horse.

Licht: He’s Clavis’s.

Jin + Leon: Ahh.

Yves: Speaking of, will you lot please keep it down? I had to abandon my post for this and I don’t want a certain someone to find out.

Jin: No one appreciateth your thaccrifith more than I.

Yves: Then you’ll take it up with you-know-who should my room be defiled?

Jin: If you’re that worried, let’th end thith confinement early and you can go keep a lookout for Clavith. Trutht your big bro. I’m completely cured! 

Yves: I trust my trust in you has plummeted since you gave yourself that second cavity this month.

Jin: Thothe éclairth were worth it—Ouuuuch!

Leon: Keep your eye on the prize, Jin. And your drool off my pants.

Yves: Leon, try to avoid the ice pack when you blast him, please.

*Yves adds yet another ice pack*

Jin: You know, I’ve been waiting for thomeone to explain, but what’th with the cat hat, Yves?

Yves: Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, we all had to sneak away from our typical duties to set this up. Licht disguised himself as a guardsman. The most adorable one in the entire palace no less, but it served our purposes. Leon is a dapper gent, which for some reason this place seems to always have an overabundance of. 

Jin: And you’re the pretty kitty to round out the gang?

Yves: *face turns red* I am the phantom cat who travels by shadow and blends in with the night, obviously.

Licht: It’s noon. You just shut the curtains.

Leon: Plus we didn’t need to sneak around. We’re kind of in charge of the place.

Licht: And it wasn’t so hard. I rode this horse all the way up here and no one noticed.

Leon: Hmm, maybe we need to review the guard rotations.

Jin: Licht, I don’t want you talking to Clavith unthupervithed anymore.

*horse grunts in agreement*

Yves: Back to the point! Maintaining the secrecy of this mission is of the utmost importance. What would it mean for us if word got out that the First Prince still gets cavities at his age? 

Leon: Sounds like a good excuse to set up that kingdom-wide dental hygiene education campaign we’ve been talking about. Jin can be like our mascot.

Jin: I can keep my lollipopth then? Thweet! Ouch!

Licht: Stop encouraging him, or we’ll never get out of here.

Yves: Um, hello? Did anyone even listen to what I’ve been saying?

Leon: You mean ninja cat? Looking sharp!

Yves: Is that all you…? Never mind. Just pipe down before someone hears.

Licht: If you mean someone besides us four, they already know.

Yves: WHAT?! Who knows?

Jin: Who knowth? Hehe.

Yves: Quiet, you. *covers Jin’s face with another ice pack* Answer me, Licht.

Licht: Well, Nokto for one. Technically he caught me on the horse, but I didn’t think it counted cause it was when we were still outside.

Yves: Curse him and his impeccable detective skills. I bet he deduced Jin was in trouble just by looking at your endearing getup.

Licht: No. He said, “What’s with the horse?” so I told him. He gave me that bunny to pass along to Jin as well as his well wishes.

Jin: *laughs beneath the ice* 

Yves: Licht, I don’t want you talking to Nokto unsupervised anymore. 

Leon: Lighten up, Yves. They were just trying to help. Like how Luke made those cookies. And that pillow there is the beta version of Clavis’s latest invention, or so he told me. Even Chevalier—

Yves: WAIT! You saw Clavis? When?

Leon: On my way over here. He flagged me down in the hall to talk about how happy he was to see so many dapper gentlemen around as of late.

Yves: But you didn’t tell him about you-know-what, did you?

Jin: *giggles beneath the ice* 

Leon: Nah, got him hooked on an even bigger scandal, if you catch my drift.

Licht: You didn’t tell him I nabbed his horse, did you? I’m telling you we were really looking forward to those apples.

Leon: No. I told him Yves left his room unattended.

Yves: You what?!

Leon: So much for keeping our voices on the down-low. Listen, I promise I’ll take care of whatever he leaves in there myself. Prince’s honor.

Yves: I may just cry.

Jin: Hehe, me too! Ouch, thith ith tho cold.

Leon: If you must, do it right into that pillow. Clavis said amusing things will happen when it gets wet.

Yves: And you let Jin rest on it?!

Licht: You’re the one who keeps piling melting ice bags on him.

Yves: Oh no, Jin!

*Yves removes all ice bags. Jin looks up with a twitchy smile.*

Jin: I can’t feel my fathe. Hehehe.

Leon: I gotcha bro.

*Leon sets the heat gun to a comfortable temperature. The boys sigh with relief once Jin’s face unfreezes.*

Licht: That was brutal.

Leon: Oh, yeah. I ran into Chevalier, too.

Yves: Oh, I knew this was a bad idea from the start! Why did you put me in charge, Leon?

Leon: Hey, you’re the best man for the job and you’re doing amazing. Plus, it’s fine. Chevalier was cool about it.

Licht: He never really does care when we get hurt.

Leon: He didn’t mention Jin, but he did save my behind. See technically I was supposed to return the heat gun right after the photo shoot. Something about preventing anachronisms and fourth-wall breaks, or whatever. But, I mean, come on! Who’d pass this thing up? Winters have been so easy ever since. Goodbye freezing toes! And you should see how it cooks meat!

Yves: Get to the point.

Leon: I’m getting there. So Clavis dumped the pillow on me because Sariel was chasing him. Caught me off guard so I didn’t get a chance to hide my gun. Before Sariel got too close, Chevalier showed up out of nowhere and blocked his view. That cloak of his is really impressive, I’d bet he could hide the horse behind it. Luckily, Sariel was too preoccupied with hunting down Clavis to stick around and ask questions.

Jin: Aha! Told ya Chevalier’th a good man at heart! Thweet ath pie, that guy—OUCHIE! Come on, Licht, it’th a figure of thpeech!

Leon: Chevalier said to make sure no outsiders knew we had access to such a hi-tech weapon. Personally, I think he just wants a turn at it. They stuck him with that giant lipstick tube at the photo shoot, remember?

Jin: Et tu, Chevie? I take it back, he'th rotten and I don't want any of you talking to him anymore.

Yves: Whoa, so not even Sariel’s allowed to know? I feel unworthy to have access to such illicit information.

Leon: Hey, you’re a worthy prince and a valued member of this team. Don’t you forget it.

*Licht and horse nod in agreement*

Yves: *blushes* You mean it? Gosh, I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you all today. Guess the pressure got to me. But no more! We’re a team, and we’re in this together. Through the good and the—ARE YOU KIDDING ME, JIN?!

*Yves swats Jin’s hand away from the cookies again.*

Jin: What? Through the good and the bad, yeah? My weakneth maketh the retht of you thtronger. You’re welcome.

*Yves grunts and stands. Jin sits up and holds the bunny like a shield.*

Jin: Whoa whoa whoa. Maybe that made you a little too thuper thtrong, haha. Now it’th your turn to share a weakneth tho I can catch up. Okay? 

*Yves grabs Licht’s lance.*

Jin: Come on. Ninja kitty? Pleathe?

*Yves takes aim.*

Jin: Pretty pleathe with sugar on top—Ouch! Actually, I detherved that one. Thankth, Leon.

Leon: No problem, bro. Hey, you might wanna dodge.

*Yves strikes with the lance. It pierces the bunny’s head where Jin’s stomach lay moments before. Water starts spouting out of the doll.*

Yves: Wha—why was there water in that bunny? And why’s it so cold?

Licht: Oh, I forgot to mention. It’s an ice-pack bunny. Nokto got it on his last trip to Jade. He said it’s really popular with the kids there. Guess its guts melted.

Leon: Aww, that’s sweet—OW! Actually, I deserved that one. Thanks, Jin.

Jin: Anytime. I vowed to only uthe thethe fithtth to therve my kingdom, after all.

Yves: Okay, I have no idea what he just said, but everyone off the bed because that pillow is smoking.

*Clavis's pillow shakes and fumes. Everyone rushes to the walls.*

Licht: Maybe we shouldn’t have brought in the gifts.

Leon: And maybe we shouldn’t have tossed the only key to the room out the window.

Jin: It meanth the world to me that you all care.

Yves: If we don’t make it out of this. I want you all to know that it was an absolute honor and disaster working alongside you.

Licht: Ditto.

*Horse whinnies solemnly*

Jin: It wath one heck of a ride, boyth.

*Jin pulls lollipops out from his pockets and pops them into each of his brother’s and the horse’s gaping mouths with a salute.*

Leon: *spits out his lollipop* It’s not over yet.

Yves: Leon! What are you doing? Get back here!

Leon: Prince’s honor, Yves. I said I’d take care of it.

Yves + Licht: LEON!

*Leon straightens his suit and gives a thumbs up over his shoulder. Jin holds Yves and Licht back as Leon jumps onto the bed and covers the smoking pillow with his body. For a few moments, nothing happens. Then Leon begins laughing uncontrollably.*

Yves: Oh! It’s turned him insane! Give me the lance back, Licht, we have to put him out of his misery.

Leon: Relax, hehe! It’s some sort of laughing gas! Look, look—hahaha—the tag here says: THE CHUCKLE CUSHION! Bad dreams keeping you from your good night’s sleep? Simply turn the other cheek and let some of your blood, sweat, and/or tears fall onto the cushion’s surface to release a relaxing dose of bliss to lull you back to a happier dreamland. Warning: maximum of 9 droplets per single use; not recommended for users who suffer chronic excessive crying, sweating, or blood loss. Side effects may include uncontrollable laughter, freezing face, and increased desire to consume sugar. From Series VII of the Lelouch Trap Series™. Hahahahaha! 

Yves: Ohh, we practically drowned that pillow. And now he's caught the uncontrollable laughter.

Leon: Actually, that last 'Haha' was written on the tag, too. The most legible part, no less. Hehehe.

Yves: The loon. 'Blood loss' he writes, can you believe him?

Jin: *eyes the lance in Yves’s hands* At leatht he put a warning.

Yves: As if you ever read the fine print.

Jin: I’d be inclined to thtart today. Printhe’th honor.

Yves: *sighs* Very well. I suppose that’s enough excitement for one confinement. Come on, Leon, we’re taking you to the physician. But I’m keeping my eye on you, Jin. You’re on probation until—Hey! Where are the cookies?

Jin: Wathn’t me. Honetht!

*Jin holds up his hands in surrender. Lollipops and cookies and cakes slip out from underneath his shirt onto the floor in a sugary heap. On the other side of the room, Licht feeds Luke’s cookies to the horse and smiles as he opens the curtains and looks out the window.*

Leon: Scouting out the physician for me, Licht? Hahaha.

Licht: Sort of. I asked Nokto to call for the dentist, and he’s just arrived.

[dont-f-with-moogles]

hello 💫 drunk bestie ✨

prompt:

"you should see the other guy" (/girl/person/titan/whatever)

ship: soukoku or levihan

and i'll leave the vibe up to you (though i'd be partial to some angst bc you're so good at it, but really whatever you feel like). can't wait to see what you come up with! 😘

A Crack of Thunder Characters: Dazai & Chuuya Soukoking; Sigma (Meursault sillies!)

A blurred cacophony of sounds reached Sigma’s ears before he could distinguish the source… there were voices arguing - remotely - obscured as though their enraged tones were reaching him underwater. Then, a distant crack of thunder…

Sigma’s head fell forward; he was caught between sleep and wakefulness. His tongue lay parched and heavy. As he attempted to move it, he took the coating off the roof of his mouth.

“Mmm…” he managed groggily, opening an aching eyelid. The effort was akin to rousing himself from what felt like a month’s worth of sleep. When Sigma finally did open his eyes, a small, white-walled room swam before him. And, standing in front of him was a man of a rather small stature with a shock of red hair beneath his black, pillbox hat.

“…tho… finally awake, theeping beauty?”

“Uh… sorry?” Sigma managed. The man let out a little huff of irritation.

“I thaid are you awake now-” Chuuya shook his head. “…know what? Never mind. We need to thake a leg…”

“…we need to what?” Sigma tilted his head, his white and lilac hair drifting over his hunched shoulder as he processed this unexpected interaction. “If… if you don’t mind me saying, your pronunciation is a little…”

“Thut it,” Chuuya seethed at him. “Think I don’t know that, you walking thcoop of ithe cream?”

Chuuya tried to still the trembling of his fists. Sensing a need to divert the conversation, Sigma decided to change tack.

“Is Dazai-”

“Thon of a bitch,” came Chuuya’s retort; his immediate response to the mention of his old partner’s name had become as instinctive as breathing. In answer to Sigma’s questioning gaze, Chuuya lifted his top lip with a gloved finger.

“Bathard thaid he had a quick way to get my fangth out…” he growled, “…uthed a motherfuckin wrench.”

Sigma inched closer, appalled to see the gap where Chuuya’s incisor had once been.

“Oh shit… I… I’m sure he was just trying to help…” the former casino manager fumbled, “…does it hurt?”

His new companion scowled.

“Yeah right. You thould thee the other guy.”

Wobbling as he climbed to his feet, Sigma peered over Chuuya’s shoulder. A pool of dark blood was spreading rapidly across the floor and, lying with his head submerged in it was…

“Dazai!” Sigma cried, turning his widened eyes to the man’s ex partner. Chuuya uttered a derisive snort.

“…tho what if I thot him in the head?” He laid a gloved hand upon his hip. “You think that wath wrong?”

Sigma, who had pressed his trembling fingers over his mouth, slowly began to lower them. He couldn’t believe that someone could speak so casually about such a brutal act of violence against an ally. Unless…

“Wait… you’re the gravity manipulator aren’t you?”

The casino manager’s legs gave way beneath him, forcing him to sink down on his seat once more. He heaved a great sigh as his shoulders relaxed…

“…thank God. You must’ve stopped the bullet before it went through his skull, right?” he laughed shakily. Chuuya glanced back at Dazai’s body, lying prostrate on the ground, before he quickly looked away.

“Uh… thure I did…”

A dark smile crossed Chuuya’s face, revealing the gap in his teeth once more.

Bonus:

“Anyway, at leathe he died doing what he loved…” Chuuya pronounced with feigned solemnity as he stowed his gun away.

“W-what?” Sigma gasped, appalled.

Chuuya shrugged.

“Dying.”

👉 Drunk Drabbles?

[hrodvitnon]

You know, one thing I've thought before... Since Ghidorah is an alien unlike the other Titans, and its biology is supposed to be radically different... what are the odds that Ghidorah's speech as understood by the Earth Titans might sound slightly off to them?

Now imagine that when Ghidorah tries to dominate the Titans; Ghidorah is Pontius Pilate, Rodan is the centurion, and Ghidorah's friend [insert other alien Titan here - maybe Gigan or Orga(?)] who's come all the way across the stars is Biggus Dickus. X3

Ghidorah: Titans of Eawth!

Titans: *chuckling*

Ghidorah: Ghidowah is your fwiend.

Titans: *laughing*

Ghidorah: To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons.

Titans: *laughing*

Tiamat: *giggling*

Ghidorah: Whom would you have me welease?

Behemoth: Welease Woger!

Titans: Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger!

Ghidorah: Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!

Titans: Yeahhhhh!

Rodan: Sir, uh, we don't have a 'Woger', sir.

Ghidorah: What?

Rodan: Uh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.

Ghidorah: Ah. We have no 'Woger'!

Titans: Ohhhhh!

Na-Kika: Well, what about Wodewick, then?

Titans: Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!

Ghidorah: Centuwion, why do they titter so?

Rodan: Just some, uh, Earthborn joke, sir.

Ghidorah: Are they... wagging me?

Rodan: Oh, no, sir!

Tiamat: *snickering*

Ghidorah: Vewy well. I shall welease... Wodewick!

Titans: *laughing*

Rodan: Sir, we don't have a 'Roderick' either.

Ghidorah: No 'Woger'? No 'Wodewick'?

Rodan: Sorry, sir.

Ghidorah: Who is this 'Wod'--

Camazotz: Heh.

Ghidorah: Who is the 'Wodewick' to whom you wefer?

Methuselah: He's a wobber!

Amhuluk: And a wapist!

Scylla: And a pickpocket!

Titans: Yeah! Ahh, no! No! Shh! Shh...!

Ghidorah: He sounds a notowious cwiminal.

Rodan: We haven't got him, sir. Mm hm.

Ghidorah: Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?

Rodan: Oh, yes, sir. We've got, uh, 'Samson', sir.

Ghidorah: Samson?

Rodan: Samson the Sadducee Strangler, sir. Uh, Silus the Syrian Assassin. Uh, several seditious scribes from Caesarea. Uhhh, sixty-seven seers from--

Gigan: Let me thpeak to them, Ghidorah!

Rodan: Oh, no. Oh.

Ghidorah: Ah. Good idea, Gigan.

Gigan: Thitizens! We have Thamthon the Thadduthee Thtrangler, Thilus...

Titans: *LAUGH*

Gigan: ...the Athyrian Athathin, theveral theditiouth thcribth from Thaetharea, and...

Titans: *LMFAO*

Gigan: Wath it thomething I thaid?

Titans: *LOL*

Ghidorah: Silence! This man commands a cwack legion!

Titans: *WWW*

Ghidorah: He wanks as high as any on Eawth!

Titans: *WAFFLE*

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Hi love ur writing hope it's ok to ask for some vampdrew!!!!! 💕💕💕

WIP Wednesday (11/1) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 44)

“Oh, fuck Wymack’s coming! Andrew, your teeth. He’s going to see!” Kevin says, as if their predicament isn’t obvious.

“Thh,” Andrew puts his hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “Calm down. I thaid ith fine.”

There’s no actual blood this time, so it shouldn’t be that hard to put his fangs away. He’s not even sure why they popped in the first place. Sure, Josten smells… nice, but this has never happened before. How curious. Something to ponder on the plane ride back when he’s trying not to maim a cabin full of private citizens. And their annoying-ass babies.

Andrew closes his eyes and inhales deeply. One, two, three breaths. And he feels his blood straws start to retract back into his gums. He runs his tongue over them a couple times, then opens his mouth for Kevin who nods in relief. Then suddenly, Wymack is in earshot. And the windows are rolled down.

“Listen,” Kevin starts. Then he swaps to his inside voice. ‘You can drink from me at the airport. We can ditch Wymack and go into the restroom and find an empty stall—’

As hot as sneaking off into a bathroom stall with Kevin sounds, Andrew will have to pass. Their deal is for Saturdays.

<- previous | first | next->

[wagermanagement]

what are your pronouns?

"That THAID... I THWEAR thomeone called me It onthe and I dunno if they were jutht tryna be MEAN or what, but I wathn't AGAINTHT it..." He snickered to himself. Not against it.

"Davey'th the THAME way, Gay and Cithh, but he maketh for a GORGEOUTH Queen if ya catch my drift!" Buck winked one slot, a wide smile on his face.

"I'm THURE he can thhow ya thome picth'a that if ya want..."

[jahar4ever]

i thaid thorry

[deskjockey16431]

Hey, tell Brian I thaid hi !!!!

Okay Dokey! Can do!

[beckybarnes]

”I thaid I wath thorry how many timeth do I have to thay I’m thorry?”

“Knawk it auwf!”

[wheezethecheeze]

what the fuck ii2 toontown.

ii2 iit 2ome 2ort of human game?

Yeah! it'th a game where you defeat buthineththmen robotth with the power of cartoon anvil dropping pie throwing violence! I'm uh, one of thaid buthineththmen robotth :3

[neogoed12clips]

THAIDE e DJ HUM - Que Tempo Bom

[lordgrimwing]

In Town #1

Three horses stood at the hitching post in front of the general store. The men riding them quickly dismounted and tied the reins loosely around the metal pole. A little boy, he couldn’t be much older than four or five years, stayed mounted on one of the mares, his bare little feet hardly stuck out past her back. The group of elderly women sitting in rocking chairs on the veranda running along the storefront, gossiping and knitting, watched with interest.

“I’ll be back thoon,'' one of the black-haired men said to the boy. “Don’t go getting yourthelf in trouble.”

The boy huffed and folded his arms over his checkered shirt. 

The women watching thought it was very cute. 

The three companions, brothers, headed for the store, leaving the boy to kick his feet idly atop the placid mare.

“Afternoon, ma’amth, Mith Ann.” One of the other black-haired men said as they passed, tipping his hat politely.

“Good afternoon, Caranthir.” Said a woman with long gray hair pulled up in a loose bun at the nape of her neck so it wouldn’t interfere with her yarn. Maryann Richards ran the boarding house on the other side of town with her rheumatic husband. “What brings you boys into town?”

Caranthir paused and his blond-haired brother, Celegorm, smacked the back of his head as he walked past him and into the store. Caranthir looked completely unbothered. 

“Ma sent us for extra flour and sugar.” He said carefully, paying close attention to the ‘s’ sounds. His pronunciation wasn’t perfect, but still far better than the lisp his family usually used. 

Maryann dropped her knitting needles and clapped her hands with delight. “Oh, that was wonderful.”

He grinned and continued. “We got some family coming over the mountain for a while, so Ma wants extra things for them.” 

She nodded, familiar with the motherly desire to have good food for visitors to eat. She intended to ask if he and his brothers would be bringing their visitors into town at all as she’d like to meet them, but just then Celegorm stuck his head back out the door and snapped, “Cara, thutup!”

Caranthir offered the women a chagrined farewell and hurried into the store.

Maryann sat back in her chair with a little smile, knitting forgotten on her lap. The other women, all of them old enough to be his grandmother, tutted and whispered amongst themselves about how he really was as wonderful as Maryann kept insisting. Wasn’t he just a diamond in the rough, and didn’t anyone have an eligible granddaughter in the surrounding counties who might be convinced to visit for a month or two? 

The boy left to cool his heels on his father’s horse watched them for a minute with an expression that said he wasn’t sure what to make of what he just saw. Eventually, he said, “That’th my uncle.”

Maryann leaned forward. “He’s very nice.” She assured him.

The boy made an exaggerated skeptical face that made the women chuckle. “Uncle Cele thaid he needth to grow thome ballth.”

Maryann’s companions dissolved into unladylike laughter.

The mare furthest from them pinned her ears back and snorted.

The boy squinted at them, perhaps confused as to why they found his uncle so funny. Quickly giving up on deciphering the oddities of townswomen, he occupied himself with braiding the mare’s mane, or at least the small section he could reach.