#tfw + war

[shallowseeker]

It's not Sam's fault that Lucifer got out of the cage in season 11. It's Castiel's.

I mean, yes? I'm not here to assign blame solely to one person. What I'm saying is that Sam's rousing "I'm not your bitch," speech is sometimes held up as proof that Sam would never have given into Lucifer in this moment, and my reading is this: that's clearly not the case. Even if he hadn't given in, when you back up a sec and look at the actual situation in 11x10 The Devil is in the Details, it's Sam who's backed them into a corner (and Sam is cognizant of that):

(Image from Mikael)

==My brother will protect me==

One, Sam feels confident in part because he has an older brother/parent figure he thinks will come rushing in to protect him. This support fills him with resolve and bravado. Sam knows that even if he screws up? His family will be a soft place to fall, to borrow a modern parenting term. It's the hope speaking:

SAM: Yeah. You’ll taunt me and you’ll, ah, torture me, and I’ll say no. And eventually, sooner than you think, my brother’s gonna walk through that door and kick your ass. LUCIFER (laughing): Dean? You’re betting on Dean? SAM: I always have.

Is it nice that he has faith in the support of his brother? Absolutely. I mean, it feels nice. But let's look at the facts, Sam went off on his own and put himself in a dangerous position. He was manipulated by Rowena, so it's not like he did this on purpose.

But the consequence of his risky play is that his family now feels the pressure to step in to protect him, because they love him. This is an eloquent nod to the theme of, "You're free to make your own choices, but the reality is that your choices don't affect just you." Every member of TFW makes that mistake. Hell, nearly every major character makes that mistake!

///

==Dean and Cas aren't in any shape to fight==

As Sam rushes to try to solve the issue on his own, Dean is reeling from grace poisoning, and he's been suffering from his uncomfortable link to The Darkness. And Cas certainly was not ready to fight.

Back in 11x06 Our Little World, Dean voices his concern about Cas, and Sam said it would be, quote, "insane" to leave such a strong fighter on the bench.

Sam’s impatient. Just like he needs Dean to process quick and get off the bench, he also wants needs this from Cas:

DEAN: Well... finding her victims is still the best shot we got at finding her. SAM: Not actually true. (Sam and Dean look at each other across the hood of the Impala. Sam raises his eyebrows and looks at Dean expectantly) DEAN: Oh, what? You think he's ready? He's had a pretty rough go of it lately. SAM: Which one of us hasn't? Seems insane to leave our one and only angel friend on the bench. DEAN: (Resigned) I'll call him.

…

(The scene switches back and forth between Castiel sitting in the bunker and Dean pacing back and forth in front of the Impala as they talk. Sam is waiting in the background)

Dean knows Cas is not ready, but he calls him anyway. Although Cas is stealing Sam's room, Cas is Dean's spouse partner friend. Dean shoulders the decision, and Sam comfortably can be backseat driver in order to sidestep any consequences if this is a bad leadership move.

Now, could Dean and Cas have said no? Yes, they're responsible for their own decisions, sure. But the pressure to support despite floundering mental health is a tough familial dynamic nonetheless.

(Castiel sighs as Dean hangs up. Dean looks at his phone, shakes his head, and walks toward Sam who is on his phone.)

///

==Then, Sam goes for Lucifer's bait==

Sam falls for Lucifer's "God talking to you," shtick, and Rowena double-crosses them. Lucifer yanks Sam into the cage. Again, it's not about fault. But he and Dean had a conversation about this, and Dean is uneasy and warns him under no circumstances is he to go to the Cage:

DEAN: Can we focus on the big picture here okay? Can Sam meet with Lucifer or not? SAM: In the Cage. DEAN: No, not in the Cage. That’s not going to happen. SAM: Okay, then I don’t meet with Lucifer. Dean, we can’t let him out.

Sam takes Rowena to the bunker to research safe ways to chat the Cage from a safe distance, and Dean goes out to investigate Amara's massacres. Rowena puts pressure and pokes at Sam's impatience, luring him directly to the cage under the promise that it's safe: "It's now or never, Sam."

///

Then, Dean gets wind of the situation going sideways and calls Cas, because Cas is a critical component of Dean's support system:

DEAN: Hey Cas, I know you’re fighting the good fight right now, but, ah, I need you at Third and Pine, Kenesaw, Nebraska, because, ah, I’m going to Hell. Dean knocks on the door of a building and a slot window opens.

///

The rest is history. Sam goes to the cage, Lucifer yanks him inside, and after that, Sam, rather admirably, stands up to Lucifer. It's bright, it's quirky, it... doesn't change the reality of the situation.

SAM: Is it? Really? 'Cause this is what I think, I think that whoever wins, you or the Darkness, everyone else loses. So, no. My answer is no. This isn't because of Dean, or the past, this is about me having faith in my friends, having faith in my family. We will find a way. I'm ready to die and I'm ready to watch people I love die, but I'm not ready to be your bitch. LUCIFER: Okay, plan B. Lucifer punches Sam, who cries out and falls to the ground. His cries are heard in the adjacent room, where Rowena is still working on the spell. DEAN: Sam! Dean and Castiel run out of the room, heading to Sam’s aid.

///

==At Sam's anguished, cry, here comes the fam==

At first glance, Sam does not give into the time-honored SPN trap of, "I and I alone can fix this." On second look, it's clear that he already has. In believing he was God's chosen, and in acting impatiently at the behest of Rowena, Sam's already inside a sprung trap.

No amount of "brave Sammy talk" will change that.

This leaves Dean and Cas scrambling to get to Hell to save him, and when Lucifer hurts Sam, here they come barreling in. Because psychologically, this is how we work. To us, our families and loved ones are our little world, and that's what we work to protect:

Lucifer punches Sam in the face twice and he falls heavily against the bars of the cell, raising his hands to defend himself from more blows. CAS: Hey, ass-butt! Lucifer turns to face Dean and Castiel. LUCIFER: Dean, ah, the other one. (Lucifer snaps his fingers and they are all in the cell.) Welcome to the party. Sam gasps and chokes on his blood. Lucifer faces off with Dean and Castiel. LUCIFER: Scared? DEAN: Not even a little. Castiel gets out his angel blade, preparing to fight.

And right after his rousing speech, Sam actually loses his gutsy spirit. Now, he's pretty shook, because his family is suddenly in danger, too.

DEAN: Are you okay? SAM: Yeah. Lucifer and Castiel are still struggling. LUCIFER: You know I’m right Castiel. You know it? (Castiel continues to struggle.) You wanna play that way? (Lucifer punches Castiel.) SAM (despairing): We can’t win. DEAN: We don’t have to win. We’ve just gotta last a few minutes. Lucifer continues to punch Castiel.

///

==Then, Lucifer plays dirty==

In the cell, Dean and Sam rush to Castiel's aid, punching Lucifer, trying to hold out until Rowena performs the spell. Lucifer is restrained by Sam, while Dean punches him. LUCIFER (mocking): You hit like a human. Lucifer kicks Dean across the cell, and then turns to punch Sam. Both go down. Castiel joins in but Lucifer puts him down too. Sam gets to his feet, only to get an elbow to the face from Lucifer. Dean tries again, but he goes back down. Lucifer kicks Sam in the stomach. Dean bounces back up, but Lucifer grabs him around the neck and slams him against the bars on the cell. Dean grimaces, as Lucifer lifts him off the ground. Dean is choking. Lucifer looks around at Sam, who is in pain, lying on the floor, covered in blood. LUCIFER: Alright Sam, I’m gonna make this real easy for you. You say the magic word or your brother dies... and we both know you won’t let that happen.

And JUST as Sam is about to have to reckon with that choice? This happens:

In the cell, Castiel charges at Lucifer, allowing Dean to get out of his clutches. Lucifer punches Castiel repeatedly, as Rowena continues on the spell. Castiel falls to the ground and Lucifer stands over him, putting his foot on top of Castiel’s angel blade. Rowena says the incantation: Anan avar karvak! LUCIFER (to Castiel): So, last words...

I'm not a gambling man, but given Sam's doubt in the very next scene and Dean's mortal dilemma, I'm at least 95% sure he was about to say yes. And even if he wasn't, he's still culpable for this plan gone wrong! And if Cas hadn't been there, one of them would very likely be a vessel, or one or both or all three of them would be dead. That's an important context to this whole situation.

Quick note: Crowley feels responsible for this, too, which is why he works to help in season 12.

///

==The "choice" was not clear-cut==

Here's Sam, some minutes later, still second-guessing his choice. (Also, I'm bolding his cute half-salute, because Sam, for once, seems very, very aware of how much Cas just made the difference in them getting out alive):

DEAN [to CAS] (softly): You alright? CAS: I think so. I will be. DEAN: You want me to give you a lift? CAS: No, you two go on ahead. I’ll catch up. DEAN: Okay. Dean walks to the impala. Castiel watches him go, with a half-smile. Sam gives him a half-salute goodbye. Sam and Dean get inside the impala. SAM: Is he alright? DEAN: Tough day. SAM: Yeah. Tell me about it. DEAN: You good? SAM: I don’t know. I mean what if Lucifer was telling the truth, you know, what if he’s the only...

Later, Sam is actually pretty decently supportive letting of Lucifer and Cas try against Amara. It’s “the smart choice.” I’d wager Sam is pragmatically relieved that he gets to give Lucifer a shot, without running his own personal risk.

///

I guess all I'm saying is, it's not so simple as "brave Sammy mouthed off to Lucifer and was a hero that never gave in!" I'm just saying, don't put so much stock in Sam's feisty lil' speech that it blinds you to the actual situation: Sam made a bad gamble.

Dean got caught in a chokehold, and a mentally unstable/psychologically wounded Cas stepped in to shield them both. Thus began a domino effect of bad TFW decisions.

(Aside// Later, Sam says he's respecting Cas's sacrifice, but I'd wager a tiny, pragmatic voice in the back of his head hopes Lucifer will beat the Darkness--that he'll win without Sam having to bear the brunt of the consequences! It's only human to hope for that.)

///

And to be fair to Sam... Post-season 11, he doesn't shrug off this responsibility. When subsequently talking about Lucifer, he labels it a shared responsibility (in order to muster stronger peer support and better in-group mental health). I don't always agree with Sam making things a group sin, but in this case, I think he's right that it's not all Castiel's fault.

It's the fans that want it to be a cookie-cutter, black-and-white, solely Castiel's fault kinda deal, and I think it's just...myopic.

[shallowrambles]

Hunter Heroici haunts me, because it says chasing happiness can’t be solely about running away

i.e. you have to face your actions and integrate the good and the bad parts of your psyche

Apple Pie Life for Sam is, in this view, a meager half-life, a false “Charming Acres” wrapped in golden hues, like a happy gas that blots out all the harder parts of living. Compared to Hunting, the Romanticized Home Life is The Balm of Escape.

And in this same episode, we have Cas goofing off with the whole “becoming a hunter and interrogating the cat” stuff. He’s having a grand ole time and he knows he’s Being Silly with it. Here, the Idealized Hunting with Friends Life is Cas's Apple Pie, The Balm of Escape from brutal soldierhood.

As mirage-home is to Sam, silly-hunting is to Cas. (Here, perhaps Sam & Dean are Cas’s symbolic Ben & Lisa, which is also why he tends to want to shield them from harsh world of Heavenly War.)

The specter of The Apple Pie life, when carried to its extreme, can be a false, idealized happiness. (It's not happiness itself that is the problem. It's that it's not an integrated happiness when it's weighted too far into escapism.) This "fantasy-life” is in sharp contrast to the messy business of living your life as your complicated, imperfect self and showing all your warts to those around you.

And yet it’s important to note that the tempting traps of penance & suicide loom large in this season, too...

Dean's blood-donation (coded-as-organ-donation-in-the-form-of-a-cooler) symbolizes his tendency to sustain the life of Others at his own expense; i.e. sustaining Benny’s addiction-in-order-to-keep-him-on-the-straight-and-narrow (and even bearing some of Sam’s parallel struggles)

Dean's simplified Purgatory world of black-and-white kill-or-be-killed (no-mistakes-can-be-made-here-no-one-can-let-me-down-here) is his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with hunting in a complex world AND maladaptively dealing with disappointment

Cas's staying-behind-in-Purgatory is metaphorical-suicide for what he did to Heaven (and yet, Heaven comes to rescue him; he cannot escape)

Later, Cas's Heaven trials are his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with Endless Heavenly Wars

And of course, Sam's Hell trials are his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with hunting in a world overrun with threats

These are ALL different kinds of extremes of “checking out of life,” and they will all learn that this extreme of not integrating both the Good & Bad parts, and of giving up Self to serve Others, is as unsustainable as is diving into the drunken happy kind of escapism.

It's about integration: family + past actions + mistakes + internal wants + personal needs + duty & obligations.

The path to the Apple Pie Life is in obliterating its Romanticization. The path to Penance is in truly valuing the Imperfect Self.

[shallowstories]

AU Earth was Mary Winchester's Purgatory. It was war. She was useful and full of purpose for the first time since her Resurrection.

That's why she wanted to stay.

///

(This time, Dean's the one who gives up, who gives into despair and completely checks out of life: hopeless and in pain and without faith and believing in nothing. And Sam's the one who keeps looking.)

[snawleyy]

[mirensiart]

I think the zelda au @/linkeduniverse comic is cool

anyway, here’s my two fave links 🥹💖

[ominouspuff]

Gift-piece for @ghosts-of-rishi for some ideas we were playing around with. Fives discovering Echo is alive but possibly even more cursed than they already were.

They say there’s no good that can come from making deals with the Piper, but what Jango’s after is hardly what most people’d call ‘good’.

(Featuring Cursed!Jango, who went looking for a son in the wrong places, made a deal with a sea-god, double-crossed said sea-god, and now has three million cursed children.)

“Flesh and blood, you said,” the sea-witch taunted, gloated, condemned. And they are, they are — Jango’s split up, every bit of him, flesh and blood he never even had, divided between every blessed child — but no amount of clever carving of meat can account for a soul, and that’s the real curse. It is not Jango, not Jango alone, who is caged within the unnatural ribs and skull and pounding veins. “Watch them grow, fool; nurture them.” The sea-witch sentenced, and Jango does, he does; silently screaming, unable to separate himself from a single one, unable to sleep even when they sleep, too split up in too many inhuman ways to speak or think beyond wishing it was over… but they know he’s there, and speak to him sometimes. He can hear them cursing, over three million souls better left dead at the bottom of the seas, plucked and borrowed and wiped clean with new flesh sewn together. Why didn’t you leave us be? One is sobbing because he knows he should be dead and they say that’s as good as being at peace, and he is neither of those things.

His children are his spitting image, but they have old, old eyes and no memories of how they came to be that way, and there are three million of them — and not a soul that ever knew Jango Fett before — before — before — can explain it. He watches them all try through six million eyes.

[agir1ukn0w]

MANNY!!!!!!!!!!🥵

[cedyat]

Reference and a bonus video under the cut (did you know you can't upload more than 1 video in a post? Cause I didn't 🫠)

Bonus video of me repenting for my sins for forgetting a certain someone...

[djo]

I swear on my name. And the names of the Ancestors, that I shall walk the way of the Mand’alor... and the words of the Creed shall be forever forged in my heart.

DIN DJARIN in THE MANDALORIAN Chapter 18: The Mines of Mandalore

[phoenixyfriend]

"Obi-Wan did a war crime."

Incorrect.

Obi-Wan attempted a war crime. However, the Separatists are so bad at following the Geneva Yavin Convention that he couldn't actually get past the first step.

[human-rocket]

WIP Wednesdayyyy

She’s very done

[spicynectarines]

I’m on a Thrawn frenzy today it seems

[shakespeareallanpoe]

*Damian, lounging on Nightwing's chair in the bat cave petting Titus*

Jamie over the intercom: "Damian! Some anti-demon cult intercepted Raven during patrol and they're going to kill her! A fight started up downtown and I'm requesting immediate backup stat!!"

Damian, internally: Those morons. She'll kick their asses real fast. Knock them down habibiti 🥰

Damian, out loud: "Tt. Lol."

- Later -

Jamie: "Raven, I called Damian for backup earlier tonight when you were in trouble and he snickered. I'm just telling you this as a friend but I don't think he really cares..."

Raven, washing blood off her hands: "I was in trouble? When?"

[elvisqueso]

"...What is it?" "The drums...they mean trouble. I shouldn't be here—" "I want to see you again—" "I can't—" "Please don' t leave—" "—I'm sorry." "..." "...I have to go now."

—Pocahontas (1995)

[citrine-elephant]

some joke about marcus being extremely sheltered despite practically living with dom as family

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

have a shitty unfinished comic from ages ago