#tftsmp the bandits

[mairen-marionette]

Tftsmp Incorrect Quotes, Wild West Bandits edition

Jack: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Mason: The cow??? Jack: What? Connor: Mason, W H Y?

~

Jack: Mason, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Mason: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Jack: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Connor.

~

Jack: If Mason and I were drowning, who would you save? Connor: You two can’t swim? Mason: It’s a hypothetical question, Connor! who would you save? Connor: my time and effort.

~

Jack, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing. Mason: Okay Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink? Jack: Orange soda, please! Mason: I'll have the strawberry soda. Connor: Me too, strawberry soda. Jack:

~

The squad is trying to con some random guy Mason: Um, Jack, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family? Jack: We need money! Mason: You're scamming him? Jack: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him? Mason: What?! No way! Jack: Why not? We already stole Connor! Connor: Hey guys Mason: No, we didn't. Connor can think and talk for himself, he can do whatever they want! Connor: I wanna steal

[neon-u-dumb-shxtty-child]

“How am I supposed to focus when you’re looking at me like that?” for Jack and Mason please. We love gay cowboy bandits in this house for real.

“Focus, Jack. We can’t rob the bank if you keep missing.”

Mason threw a bottle in a random trash can as Jack struggled to shoot at a target. He needed target practice before they decide to rob that bank, maybe then they can get a shot out of the sheriff.

“How am I supposed to focus when you’re looking at me like that?”

Jack lifted up his scarf to cover up most of his face as he shot and missed the target once again. Dang it.

Mason looked at Jack confused for a second before chuckling.

“What? Am I making you nervous? Can’t shoot when you have eyes on you?”

“Shut up!”

Jack’s face was flushed as he shot again and managed to hit the side of the target. Well, better than not hitting it at all.

“Hm, that’s an improvement.”

“Shut up.”

[zecoritheweirdone]

[slowly pokes my head inside the tftsmp tag] hullo? hullo hullo? anybody there?

i kept seeing tftsmp posts on my dash occasionally, recently,, and like. i was reminded of this really really old wild west fic idea i made a while back? so long back that i don't actually remember when,, because i only really shared it in a few discord servers, and never got that much of a response from it,,, and so i never did anything with it.

but since the tag is actually, like. sort of being used, now? i figured... i'd give y'all an offering, mayhaps?

n-e-ways,,, hehehehhhhoooo au where john john and the bandits are ghosts, ft. my rushed art.

it's been, like– maybe a year or so since i even thought about this idea,, so i'm afraid i don't have much to share outside of a small handful of snippets,, sksjsksjsk. but like. basically, all four of them become ghosts, and then... ghost shenanigans, basically.

[esper-eclipse]

The Wild West

[kiloxy]

Character Names:

Ranboo: John John (was bullied for bein two legged)

Sapnap: Mason (Part of the democrat haters)

Quackity: Jack Kanoff (Part of the democrat haters)

Connoreatspants: Connor (Part of the democrat haters)

Tubbo: Percy (Has a pet bee that later dies)

Technoblade: Sheriff Sherman Tomson (One week from retirement have a feeling he won’t make it to that)

Corpse: Crops (The town cannibal... He’s horrifying and honestly acts so well)

Fundy: Ron Ronson also Michael (Has a chicken for a wife)

BBH: William (Owns a store :D)

[donniemines]

ex-bandit sir billiam running off with all the money the bandits stole and thats how he becomes rich and thats why the bandits come back to rob the town again even though they’ve robbed it before

[ksqwildwest]

i think the bandits would occasionally go try to rob percy because he guards the bank and stuff. but since percy is such an evil little chaotic shit he would just never care and threaten to release honey the casino bee. chaotic energy meets dumb bitches. in the end they go to john john’s bar. but the two minors drink literal grape juice together. just a little brain thought

Thank you for the ask!

Percy would be a little shit about it. Yah, Honey is seemingly the only thing between the bandits and the bank vault but Percy is 100% willing and ready to bite anyone who tries to rob the place. Besides, it's easier to just keep winning at cards against him then trying to fight him.

Yes, the minors drink grape juice, they have both accidentally grabbed the wrong drink/bottle before and both agree that it tastes terrible. The two act like two wine moms keeping an eye on their children while gossiping every time the drink grape juice. It's a really funny image to see.

[withersys]

Who wants to bet his name is Mason Kanoff.

[wiresandwifi]

FUCKING OK SIR

[starwither]

tftsmp: the wild west recap

“I know you don’t want to lose your friends, I don’t want you to either.”

Tales from the SMP: The Wild West

Cast: Karl Jacobs, Quackity, ConnorEatsPants, Sapnap, Ranboo, CorpseHusband, Tubbo, Technoblade, Fundy

This episode takes place a little while after the Masquerade. There are wanted posters around town, looking for Sir Billiam. Church Prime exists in the town. 

In this old western town, the regular townspeople go against the Bandits (Quackity, Connor and Sapnap) who has been terrorizing them and stealing from them for months. After multiple duels, Connor, Quackity and Ranboo. They have funerals for them in Church Prime. 

Afterwards, Karl is back in the Inbetween. There are dozens of other Karls wandering about the courtyard, all wearing the same white outfits. 

A book warns him that if he continues to lose his memories he will start being wary of his friends. The writer urge him to search the castle for answers. Another book tells him that the Inbetween is far too big for him to explore in one visit, and that it is alive and constantly changing for his needs. 

There is a book hidden in a nook in the wall, telling him to “look under the tree,” which ends up being the large white tree just outside of the castle. A book underneath the roots, which has the sentence “DON’T STRAY FROM THE PATH” repeating. The book is 87 pages and we only see the first page, but we can assume that the entire book is just this repeating. He runs away. 

Finally, a last book tells him that they know that Karl does not want to lose his friends, and that they do not want him to either. He says that this will be the last time that he will be able to travel back to his original library and that it might look different the next time he goes there. 

Note that all of the books are written in first-person perspective. 

[mairen-marionette]

John John and Ranbob idea

Ranbob scares off the bandits every time they try to bother John

They are very naturally unsettling and scary, so the bandits already don’t really like them to being with. But it does a pretty good job at intimidating them into leaving the bar

If Sherman and Ranbob are both in the bar, the bandits just don’t show up at all

Hehe yeah, that sounds about right lol. Sherman's intimidating in his own right, and while the bandits know that he's a very capable person when it comes down to it, they're used to him. Ranbob though, well, frankly, they're terrifying when mad, as the bandits have had the misfortune of discovering.

So yeah, generally, if they see Ranbob there, they just leave honestly. And meanwhile, John's just happy that they're not being trouble for once. Those tend to be good days for him.

I like the idea of the bandits being scared of Ranbob, it's funny.

[neon-u-dumb-shxtty-child]

So like, since it's Pride month and stuff, any related headcanons about like, any tftsmp character? Like, that haven't been shared already I mean. I feel like I could be wording this a lot better but I am very tired and like, yeah. Hi.

Queer headcanons real

Billiam is definitely the kind of person to just deck their entire house in pride merch and proudly show it off

Ranbutler has a couple flags in their room, nothing too much or too little

John paints his beere bottles rainbow and a bunch of pride flag colors when he sells them

The bandits try to use the “it’s pride don’t be homophobic” tactic on on Sherman (trans man me thinks) and it never works

Ranbob researches about pride month and its history a lot during pride month, and they place pride flags in the different idol rooms

Hubert does pride makeup, both very flamboyant and apparent that it’s a pride flag inspired look, or just subtle enough to be seen as regular makeup looks

[conarcoin]

i kind of want to write a tftsmp wild west fic eventually bc i care the bandits . love those crazy sons of bitches

[appleflavoredkitkats]

I feel that a big problem with the tales is that casts are too large and the characters are very forgettable. And like I don't mean this in a mean way but like I don't understand the point of some episodes. Like what was the point? They do put a lot of effort into them but it is overhyped

YES, THIS. I do think that most TFTSMP episodes do have a point, and right now, I’m leaning towards TFTSMP’s main takeaway to be “We cannot fix anything and everything that has happened in our past, present, and future. Nothing can be perfect, and things sometimes should just Happen because that’s how we progress as a society.” This could explain why c!Karl’s involvement in some TFTSMP episodes is practically useless, like in The Village that Went Mad, the Pit, the Masquerade, the Haunted Mansion, etc. So, you know, basically if there’s no point to Karl’s time travelling, I think it all connects to the takeaway I mentioned earlier.

But I agree that it’s definitely overhyped, but I think people do recognize its flaws but are too afraid to speak out because Karl works so hard on its build. The problem definitely just has to be on how badly it’s structured narratively, because in episodes like the Pit, the Haunted Mansion, the Beach Episode, and the Village that Went Mad, there was no BUILD UP. In episodes like the Masquerade and the Lost City of Mizu, there was a build up, but it was executed much poorly. The Masquerade falls victim to the Pit’s problem which is that it dragged on for too long, and some parts were kinda boring, but the Lost City of Mizu’s problem definitely goes with how terribly the characters were acted out/established. I’m looking at you Ranbob, you’re given too much credit for a poorly executed character, sorry Dream KJGKLJGLG

I think the episode with the BEST execution overall has to be the Wild West. I’m sorry guys, it’s literally the only episode I feel Something for. Its character establishment is quite literally the best out of all, and we take our precious time understanding and liking the characters one by one. Not to mention its setting helped us visualize and understand each character better because each of them had their own designated builds and houses. Additionally, it was pretty funny throughout, and all cc’s were IMMERSED in their acting. No “haha I’m a shitty actor” energy, except from Karl, but that’s kind of just a Karl acting thing in general. Also, the Wild West followed PLOT STRUCTURE.

I’M TELLING YOU GUYS, IF TFTSMP ACTUALLY FOLLOWED THIS? IT’D BE SO GOOD? AND WILD WEST WAS PROOF. Exposition introduced the characters one by one, and the rising action introduced the problem easily too with the republicans. Climax involved the shooting ring and the campfire where the bandits intruded, falling action involved the duels, then the resolution was the bittersweet resolution where Karl had to leave. IT WAS GOOD, IT WAS CONSISTENT, AND IT HELPED MAKE THE FUNNY BITS NON-REPETITIVE BECAUSE WE WEREN’T STUCK IN THE SAME SCENE AGAIN AND AGAIN.

TFTSMP would honestly be MUCH better if we followed this one plot structure we learned in fourth grade,,,

[galaxy-lilies]

Ello!!! What's your favorite fics that you've found? Do you have a fav for a specific ship?

*stretches fingers* let's see right here anon:

(also: im positive the second question will be answered in the recommendations)

Starting off strong we have the KDGS series by Kitchenspoon which is a series featuring poly dream team + karl. Join the polycule as they try to navigate through life, through hardships, and their relationship. It's super sweet (there's a bit of spice in some of the fanfics apart of the series, you can skip over that if you desire to do so) and hella domestic plus the characterization is *chefs kiss*. I highly recommend.

Next we have Time Forgotten by writingtheend which is a TFTSMP inspired Wild West AU featuring Karlnapity as the main ship. Karl is a city boy who decides to head out west to learn and explore the wild terrain and the stories that lie there. Along the way he runs into a pair of bandits who always seem to run into him at the best and least convenient times. What adventures await them, and where will it ultimately lead to in the future. Last time I recommended it, this fic was still not finished but I'm happy to announce that it is finally complete! Plus there's a cute lil spin off, one shot that I also recommend reading after :3c

The next fic I recommend is Home by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza) and the unofficial, official sequel Do you feel at home in this place? by notorphanedaccount. George was going through a rough point in his life and as he was wandering the streets, he heard the sound of a lovely violin. He followed the sound, finding the source coming from a magical shop full of trinkets and little knick knacks. He soon comes face to face with the owner ( or maybe there's more than one ) of the shop and from there his journey begins. A dreamnotnap au with witches sapnap + dream and george is vibing in the back LMAO. A lil bit of magic + witches AUs never hurt anybody ;3c

The final fic I recommend is When the Sunlight Dies written by bramble_patch (Marianne_Dashwood) and personalized_radio. There is also a sequel within the Scarecrow series that I also highly recommend. A prince and his knight now on the run trying to escape the fate of the throne, and the threat of bounty hunters following their trail. Sapnap's trying to do his duty as a knight and protect his only remaining friend but it seems George has other plans. Who knew that one little event would lead to two more members joining their escape. A royal AU with prince george + knights dream and sapnap PLUS! it's karlnapity and dnf! Lots of angst in this one, get some tissues :,3c

Hopes this helps anon!

[shepard-ram]

Relationship Headcanons

Wild West Tftsmp (Fluff, Not a request) Includes: Sheriff Thompson, John, Crops

[Tw. Implied Cannibalism]- because you know- crops [Tw. Guns (no violence)]

Not the happiest with this lol

Sheriff Thompson---

That whole "gruff stoic person going soft for one person"

That's it, that's him in a nutshell

Even though you knew each other for a long awhile you only actively spent time together when you wanted to learn how to shoot

You spent most of your time together on the shooting range

Then most of the time you wouldn't even be training, just sitting there and talking

It was extremely slow how his feelings developed

But no matter how deep he was he always refused to accept that he loved you

Even if literally anyone other than you could see how insanely protective over you he was

He refused to let you do anything remotely dangerous, at least not without him around

Pretty much the entire town was betting on when and how you two get together

They all egged both of you to just get together already

When you do get together- you get to see how incredibly soft this man is for you

I feel like he would give really good hugs sooo

Cuddles, alot of cuddles

Seriously man just doesn't let you go, especially when you're sleeping

You're not moving until he wakes up

He will not let anyone look at you wrong, can't be having anyone disrespect his favorite person

John John---

You would help him with the saloon

Mostly involving you standing up against the bandits cause we know this boy doesn't have a spine

You would play just about every card game you knew together to pass time

You even made up quite a few games yourselves

Since it was a tiny town the few people there knew you two as inseparable, wherever one is the other is close behind

All his emotions were slow, or maybe they developed fast but he never noticed

Anyways he was in love, and he was terrified

You were his best friend, if you think he's weird for how he feels- he didn't know what he would do

So he shut up and pretended that your laugh didn't make his heart melt

You'd have to be the one to confess 100% even if he can barely get a sentence out without turning red he'd always deny any romantic feelings

When you do- John is just on cloud nine

Your game time together now involves alot of you flirting to distract him

And a little cheek peck when you fend off the bandits

Local "in your face with pda" couple

He's just so proud his wonderful s/o!

Hand holding, kisses, sappy compliments, anything you're good with he'll do!

Very sweet with you basically

Crops---

You were the Sheriff's deputy

Unlike Sherman you actually tried to keep some order

Which ment that you were alot less relaxed with his "feeding times"

Granted to make up for it you still brought him animals to eat even if he said it wasn't enough

At first Crops didn't talk much beyond saying when he was hungry

But over time he spilled more about himself to you

turns out it's hard to hate someone for something they have to do, his eating habits aren't a choice and you recognized that

Now whenever your weren't dealing with the bandits you were talking with him

There wasn't some big confession, you just got comfortable with each other till one of you are just like "you want to make this official?"

You're still constantly trying to find substitutes for his diet

Still you actually let him out of the cell (or go in with him)

He always tries to eat something before you do cause he's low-key terrified he'll hurt you

Not very lovey-dovey but you still have your intimate moments

Probably definitely made a "I could just gobble you up" joke

Between you being the deputy and his reputation no one messes with either of you