#tess journal

[silverklar]

had a wonderful little picnic in the park with my friends today. the sun kept us company all night and gave us a beautiful sunset on the walk home too. my heart is so full 💌

[litandlifequotes]

...she moved about in a mental cloud of many-coloured idealities, which eclipsed all sinister contingencies by its brightness.

Tess of the D'urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

[stylesispunk]

"Silent Strain" | Part ii

Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

previous chapter | next chapter

summary: Joel and you knew that bringing a child into this mad world was a mistake, but he wanted to give you the best that was left of that world after all.

w.c: 9,8k

warnings: established relationship, age gap (Joel is 43 and Reader 32) angst, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion, mentions of miscarriage, fluff, not proofreading, sorry. (The events in this story happened 10 years after the outbreak.) paragraphs in cursive are reader's journal entries.

a/n: Let's continue with this story. This was supposed to be only three LONG chapters but will be divided into four. Thank you to the ones who read the first part and shared their thoughts with me, you have no idea how happy reading your comments makes me. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated.

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

August

“We lost Tess.

I don’t know what to feel after losing Tess. She was always the strong one, the one who knew what to do. I’m angry at her for leaving, but I understand. She believed in something—believed in Joel and me, in Ellie. Maybe that’s why I can’t find the words, because if I admit she’s gone, then I admit I have to keep going… without her.”

A few days later, the three of you were on the road in Bill’s battered truck Joel had managed to get running. The engine growled low, the sound vibrating through your bones as you sat in the passenger seat, trying to stay awake. The steady hum of the road beneath the tires, combined with the rhythmic sway of the truck, made it hard to keep your eyes open.

Joel kept glancing over at you, his eyes softening every time he saw you fighting sleep. He was quiet, his hands gripping the wheel tightly, the muscles in his jaw working as he navigated the broken highways. You could feel his concern, even without him saying a word. Every few moments, he would sneak another look at you, checking if you were okay, if you needed anything.

Ellie, meanwhile, was in the backseat, her head pressed against the window as she took in the world outside. Her eyes darted around, watching the overgrown trees that lined the road, the crumbling buildings in the distance, and the occasional abandoned car. Everything was new to her—every stretch of landscape, every broken-down sign. Despite the grim situation, there was a light of curiosity in her eyes, a small spark of wonder.

"Never thought I'd get to see the world like this," Ellie murmured, mostly to herself, but loud enough that Joel and you could hear. "It’s kinda… pretty, in a messed-up way."

You smiled faintly, your head leaning against the cool glass of the window. "There’s a lot of beauty left," you agreed softly, your voice thick with sleep. "You just have to look for it."

Ellie shifted uncomfortably in the back seat, her eyes flicking between the two of you. She hadn’t known Tess for very long, but she could tell Tess's death weighed heavily on you. "Hey," she said softly, leaning forward between the seats. "You okay up there?"

You didn't respond, your gaze fixed on the road ahead, the passing scenery a blur of green and grey. You felt numb, your hands resting on your lap, fingers interlaced tightly as if holding on to something unseen. The guilt was an anchor, pulling you deeper into yourself, further away from everything and everyone around you.

Joel’s grip tightened on the steering wheel, the leather creaking under his fingers. "She’s just… processing," he said, his voice rough. "We all are."

Ellie frowned, leaning back against the seat. "Yeah, I get that. But it's not like it's your fault, you know?" she said, glancing at you.

Your eyes darted to her for just a second, then back to the road. You wanted to say something, but your throat felt tight, your chest heavy. It was like there was a barrier between you and the world, and you didn’t know how to break through it.

Joel cleared his throat. "We just need some time," he muttered, more to himself than to Ellie. He understood the pain, the way guilt could wrap around your heart like a vice. He knew that trying to force you to talk wouldn’t help. All he could do was be there, steady and present, like he promised.

The truck continued on, the road stretching out before you, endless and uncertain. You could feel Joel's occasional glances, the weight of his concern pressing against your silence. He wanted to comfort you, to reach out, but he knew there was no easy way to heal the wound Tess's death had left behind.

Ellie seemed to sense the tension and turned her gaze back to the window.

"I want to sleep," you murmured, your voice barely above a breath.

Joel glanced at you, his expression softening, the hard lines around his eyes relaxing just a fraction. He nodded, understanding in that quiet way he had, not pressing for more, not asking questions you couldn't answer. “Okay,” he said gently. “We’ll find a safe place to spend the night.”

He knew you needed rest, needed a break from the relentless march forward, both on the road and in your head. He’d seen this before — people carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, burdened by guilt and grief that wasn’t always theirs to bear. But it didn’t make it any easier to watch you go through it.

Joel's hand tightened on the steering wheel, and he glanced around, scanning the road for a place that looked secure enough to stop for a while.

Joel spotted a narrow dirt path leading off the main road into the dense woods. It was risky — the woods always were — but it was also a place where they could hide, away from the prying eyes of anyone passing by. A place where they might find some peace, at least for a few hours.

He turned the truck onto the path, driving slowly to avoid the deep ruts and branches that stretched across the way. The trees grew thicker around them, the canopy overhead blocking out the last bit of fading light. The woods felt quiet, almost too quiet, but Joel knew that was a good thing. The less noise, the fewer chances there were of running into trouble.

Eventually, he found a small clearing, just wide enough for the truck to fit without being seen from the road. He pulled the truck to a stop and turned off the engine. The silence was immediate, almost a relief, as the engine noise ceased and the sounds of the forest took over — the rustle of leaves in the breeze, the distant chirp of crickets.

“We’ll stay here,” Joel murmured, glancing at you. “For tonight, at least.”

You nodded, feeling the fatigue weighing down on you even more. You just wanted to sleep, to shut your eyes and escape from the heaviness that seemed to settle in your chest. Joel got out of the truck first, moving to your side, opening the door for you. He offered his hand, helping you out carefully.

Ellie hopped out after, her eyes scanning the trees around them. “Seems quiet,” she whispered. “But I don’t think is a proper place for a pregnant lady.”

You couldn’t help but smile a little at Ellie’s comment, despite everything. “Well, there aren’t exactly a lot of options,” you replied softly, squeezing Joel’s hand for support as you stepped down.

Joel’s face softened as he looked at you, his hand steady around yours. “We’ll make do,” he said quietly, glancing around the darkening woods. “Just for tonight.”

Ellie wandered ahead a bit, her eyes wide and alert, taking in the surroundings. “I’ll check around, see if there’s anything useful,” she offered, trying to sound casual but with a hint of concern in her voice.

Joel nodded, his hand still holding yours, guiding you carefully toward the truck bed. “Just stay here and don’t give more problems” he replied, his voice taking on a protective tone.

Ellie gave a mock salute, “Yes, sir,” she joked, but there was an underlying seriousness to her words.

You let out a small sigh as you sat down on the edge of the truck, your legs feeling like lead. Joel crouched in front of you, his eyes searching your face. “You okay?” he asked softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing motion.

You nodded, though you felt anything but okay. “Just… tired. My ass feels numb” you murmured, trying to make Joel smile.

Joel’s lips curved into a small, appreciative smile, though the concern in his eyes didn’t entirely fade. “Yeah, I bet it does,” he said softly, no long after, Joel's brow furrowed with concern, and he reached up, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “You need to rest,” he insisted. “We’ve got a long way to go tomorrow.”

You knew he was right, but the thought of closing your eyes, even for a moment, felt impossible. “I just can’t stop thinking about everything… Tess, the baby, all of it,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel’s face tightened at the mention of Tess, but he quickly masked it with a determined look. “We’ll figure it out,” he promised, his voice steady. “We’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”

You nodded, moving a little bit to accommodate the pain on your back and legs.

Joel reached over, gently rubbing your back to ease some of the tension you were feeling. “I know it’s hard,” he said softly, “but we’ll take it one step at a time. We’ve faced tough shit before, and we’ll get through this too.”

You took a deep breath, trying to focus on his words and the comfort of his presence.

“I just… I keep thinking about what’s next. About the future. What if I’m not strong enough for this?”

Joel shook his head, his eyes meeting yours with a fierce determination. “You’re stronger than you think. We’re all in this together, and we’ll make sure the baby’s safe.

Ellie, who had been quietly listening, looked up with a sympathetic expression. “It’s okay to be scared,” she said softly. “But you’re not alone. We’ve got your back.”

You managed a small smile at Ellie’s words, feeling a flicker of gratitude for her support. “Thanks, Ellie.”

Joel squeezed your hand gently, his voice unwavering. “We’ll take this one day at a time. For now, try to get some rest.”

As you leaned against Joel’s shoulder, exhaustion finally started to overtake you. His warmth and steady presence made it easier to let your eyes close, the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing lulling you into a much-needed sleep. You felt his arm wrap around you, pulling you closer, his thumb gently brushing against your arm as he tried to make you comfortable.

Joel shifted slightly, careful not to wake you, his eyes never leaving your face. He moved his other arm to support your head, cradling you as you slept. The lines of worry on his face softened for a moment, replaced by a rare tenderness.

Ellie watched the whole scene unfold with a quiet intensity. After a moment, she broke the silence with a soft, almost teasing voice. “You really love her, don’t you?”

Joel glanced at Ellie, caught off guard by her question. He hesitated, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his face before he responded in a low, steady voice, “Yeah… I do.”

Ellie nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “Good,” she whispered. “She deserves that.”

Joel’s gaze softened even more as he looked back at you, his fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “She deserves a lot more than just that,” he murmured quietly, almost to himself. He sighed, his eyes turning back to the darkness outside, staying vigilant for any signs of danger.

Ellie sat back, her gaze still on Joel, observing the shift in his expression. "You know," she said quietly, “I didn’t know you were this protective over her.”

Joel’s jaw tightened slightly, and he gave a small nod, his eyes still scanning the woods. "It’s different," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "It’s not just about me anymore. It’s about keeping her safe, keeping you both safe. And the baby."

Ellie watched him for another moment, her expression softening. "You’re doing a good job, Joel," she said earnestly.

Joel gave a faint smile, though it was tinged with worry. "I hope so," he replied, his voice filled with a rare tenderness. He looked down at you, still asleep against his shoulder, and felt a surge of protectiveness, stronger than ever.

For a moment, there was silence, only the sounds of the forest around them. Then Ellie shifted her weight, wrapping her arms around her knees. "We’ll be okay," she said, almost as if trying to convince herself too. "We just have to keep moving… together."

Joel nodded, his hand gently caressing your arm as you slept. "Yeah," he agreed softly.

"I didn’t take you for a softie.” Ellie joked.

Joel let out a low chuckle, his lips curling into a slight smirk. "Don’t go spreading that around, kid," he replied, keeping his voice light. "Gotta maintain my reputation."

Ellie grinned, enjoying this rare moment of teasing between them. "Your secret’s safe with me," she whispered, her tone playful. "But I think she already knows."

Joel’s smile softened as he looked down at you, still resting peacefully against him. "Yeah, she does," he murmured, his thumb tracing small, soothing circles on your arm. "And that’s all that matters."

Ellie watched him for a moment longer, a glimmer of warmth in her eyes. "You know," she said quietly, "I think you’re good for each other. Even if you’re all grumpy and stuff."

Joel scoffed, but his expression remained tender. "Grumpy, huh? You got a lot of nerve, kid," he replied with mock seriousness, but there was a lightness in his voice.

Ellie laughed softly, enjoying the back-and-forth. "Hey, I call it like I see it," she replied with a grin, leaning back against her pack. "But seriously, it’s nice to see you… you know, care about someone. Makes all this less… bleak, I guess."

Joel’s face softened further, a rare warmth breaking through his usual guarded demeanor. "I care about her, more than anything.” he said quietly, his gaze shifting from Ellie back to you, still sleeping soundly against his shoulder. “Now, go to sleep, Kid. I’ll make sure you both are safe”

“Three.” She said, before turning his back to Joel “me, her, and the baby.”

Joel's expression softened even more at Ellie's correction, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yeah," he murmured, his voice low and filled with a tenderness he rarely let show. "Three of you."

Ellie settled down, pulling her jacket tighter around her as she prepared to sleep. She glanced back one last time. "Goodnight, Joel."

"Goodnight, kid," Joel replied softly, his focus returning to the dark woods around them. He kept one arm protectively around you, his thumb still tracing gentle circles on your arm, feeling the steady rise and fall of your breathing.

For a moment, everything felt almost… normal. Peaceful. The world outside was still dangerous, still uncertain, but right here, in this tiny clearing with you and Ellie, Joel felt like he had something worth fighting for again. A reason to keep going, to stay vigilant.

He glanced down at you, his heart swelling with an emotion he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in years. "I won't let anything happen to any of you," he whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

the night wore out, and you woke up with a blanket wrapped around your body. It took you some seconds to realize where you were, until you saw Ellie sleeping next you. You immediately look for Joel, until you saw him, standing some feet away, holding his riffle on his hands.

You slowly pushed the blanket aside, careful not to disturb Ellie, who was curled up beside you, her breaths deep and even in sleep. The blanket’s warmth still lingered on your skin, and it took you a moment to realize Joel must have covered you with it sometime during the night.

Quietly, you got up and made your way over to him, your steps soft against the damp ground. Joel heard you approach; his posture relaxed slightly, but he kept his gaze fixed on the distance, always alert. As you reached his side, he glanced down at you, his expression unreadable in the shadows.

“Hey,” you whispered, your voice still thick with sleep.

Joel’s eyes softened at the sight of you. “Hey,” he replied just as quietly, his voice gravelly in the early morning air. “Did I wake you up?”

“You didn’t,” you assured him. “I just… I woke up and saw you over here.” You looked out into the woods, the thick trunks of trees barely visible in the dawn light. “You’ve been up all night?”

He gave a small shrug. “Someone’s gotta keep watch. Couldn’t sleep, anyway.” His tone was matter-of-fact, but there was an undercurrent of something else — concern, maybe. “You should get some more rest. Still got a long way ahead of us.”

You shook your head, moving closer so your arm brushed against his. “I’m okay,” you whispered, “but you need to take care of yourself, too.”

Joel huffed out a quiet laugh, though there was no humor in his eyes. “I’ll rest when we’re safe,” he replied, his hand shifting on the rifle. “But thanks for the concern.”

You reached out, placing a hand on his arm, feeling the tension coiled in his muscles. “Joel, you can’t do everything alone.”

His gaze flickered to yours, something vulnerable passing through his expression. “I know,” he murmured. “I just… I can’t risk anything happening to you or Ellie. Not again. Not after…”

He trailed off, but you knew what he was thinking — Tess, all the others they had lost. You leaned in closer, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, feeling his warmth seep into you.

“We’ll be okay,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his torso, leaving a trace of kisses on his neck.

Joel stiffened for a moment as your lips brushed against his neck, his breath hitching at the unexpected touch. His hand tightened on the rifle, but slowly, he relaxed into your embrace. He let out a soft, shaky breath, his free arm coming around you, pulling you closer.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice a little rough, "don’t go getting all soft on me now." But there was no bite in his words, just a quiet plea masked by his gruff exterior.

You smiled against his skin, feeling the way his body responded to your touch, the way his heart beat a little faster under your palm. "Just admit you love it," you murmured between kisses, your lips trailing gently up his neck, finding the spot just below his ear that made him shiver.

Joel swallowed hard, his fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt as if holding on to you for dear life. "You’re gonna be the death of me," he breathed out, but his voice was thick with emotion.

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him. His eyes were dark, filled with fear, longing, and something else, something softer, more vulnerable than he usually let himself show. "I’m not going anywhere," you said firmly, your hand moving to cup his cheek. "And neither are you.”

He let out a shaky breath, his forehead resting against yours. "Goddamn it," he muttered, almost to himself, "you make it so damn hard not to…" He didn't finish, but you understood. You always did.

You smiled softly, brushing your thumb over his cheek. "Not to what?"

Joel chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that was rare but welcome. "Not to fall harder for you every day," he admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Joel's eyes searched yours for a moment, as if weighing your words, his breath still coming a little too fast. Then, without another word, he leaned down and kissed you. His lips were urgent, needy, as though he was trying to pour all his unspoken fears and desires into that single moment.

The kiss deepened quickly, his hand moving to the back of your head, tangling in your hair as he pulled you closer. You could feel the roughness of his beard against your skin, the way his heart pounded against your chest. There was something desperate in the way he kissed you, something that spoke of all the things he couldn't say, all the things he had lost and was afraid of losing again.

You kissed him back with equal fervor, your hands moving to his shoulders, then sliding up to cup his face, feeling the strength and the fragility all at once. His lips were warm, his breath hot against your mouth, and you could feel the way he was holding back, afraid to let go completely, but wanting so badly to let himself feel this.

When he finally broke the kiss, his forehead rested against yours, his breath ragged. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you," he confessed, his voice thick, barely above a whisper.

You smiled softly, brushing a thumb over his cheek. "You won’t lose me," you promised. "We’ve come too far for that."

Joel’s eyes softened, his thumb gently tracing your lips as if memorizing the feel of them. "I love you," he said, the words coming out almost like a prayer like he needed to say them out loud to believe them. You felt a warmth spread through your chest, your heart swelling with emotion. "I love you, too," you whispered back, leaning in for another kiss, this one softer, sweeter.

A few hours later, you were back on the road. The sun had just started to rise, casting a soft orange glow over the landscape. You sat in the back seat, your journal opened on your lap, a pencil in your hand. You leaned against the window, writing carefully as the truck bounced over the uneven road.

You wrote to your baby, your thoughts spilling onto the page.

“It’s been a long road so far. I hope one day you get to read this, to know that even before you were born, you were loved. Tess… she would have liked you, I think. I wish she could be here, but I promise you this: Joel and I will do everything to keep you safe. I know it’s not the world I wanted for you, but it’s the one we’ve got, and we’ll make the best of it.”

You paused, glancing up as you heard Ellie’s voice from the front seat. She was perched in the passenger seat, her feet up on the dashboard, and she was peppering Joel with questions — as usual.

“So, Joel,” Ellie asked, her curiosity unbridled. “You ever have a pet?”

Joel shot her a quick glance before returning his eyes to the road. "Nope," he replied gruffly.

“Really? Not even a goldfish?” Ellie pressed, leaning in closer with a grin.

Joel huffed, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Not even a goldfish," he confirmed.

Ellie rolled her eyes dramatically. "Well, that's sad. Everyone needs a pet. I used to have a stuffed bear… I named it Captain."

Joel chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Captain? What kind of adventures did Captain go on?"

Ellie’s face lit up. "Oh, you know, saving the world, defeating the evil cat empire… normal bear stuff."

You couldn't help but smile as you listened, their banter a small bright spot in an otherwise harsh world. You looked back down at your journal and continued writing.

“And Ellie… she’s something special. Smart, tough, got a mouth on her, but she’s got a good heart. She keeps things… lighter. Reminds us why we keep going, even when it feels like the worlds against us.”

Ellie’s voice cut through your thoughts again, her tone curious. “Joel, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

Joel shifted in his seat, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “Crazy, huh? Well… probably sticking around to watch you try to figure out a joke for three hours.”

Ellie laughed, a bright, infectious sound. “Hey, that was a good joke! You just didn’t get it.”

“Maybe,” Joel replied, his eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror, catching yours for a brief moment. His expression softened, a silent reassurance passing between you.

You closed your journal, tucked it back into your pack, and leaned back in your seat, feeling a little lighter. Despite everything, there was hope in these small moments.

The truck came to a sudden halt, jolting you forward in your seat. You looked up, startled, as Joel’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched. The road ahead was a mess — cars scattered everywhere, some piled on top of one another, blocking the path completely. The remnants of a long-ago traffic jam, abandoned when the world went to hell.

Joel muttered a curse under his breath and cut the engine, the truck rumbling to a stop. He glanced back at you and Ellie, his expression tense. "Stay inside," he ordered firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Without another word, he pushed open the door and stepped out, his rifle slung over his shoulder. You watched him carefully as he moved towards the edge of the road, scanning the area, his eyes sharp and wary. The wind rustled through the trees, the only sound breaking the stillness around you.

Ellie leaned forward, her hands gripping the dashboard. “What’s going on?” she whispered, her voice low.

“Road’s blocked,” you replied softly, your eyes not leaving Joel as he stepped closer to the cars, looking for a way through. “He’s just checking if it’s safe.”

Ellie’s brow furrowed, her fingers tapping nervously. “Yeah, but what if it’s not?”

You didn’t answer immediately, your stomach tightening with a familiar knot of anxiety. You hated moments like this — the uncertainty, the vulnerability. “We wait,” you finally said, though your voice was tinged with the same concern.

Joel moved carefully, his eyes sweeping over the surrounding area, every sense alert. He disappeared around the side of a truck for a moment, and you felt your heart rate quicken, every nerve on edge. You leaned forward, trying to keep your gaze on him through the windshield.

After a few tense moments, Joel reappeared, his face set in a grim expression. He looked back towards the truck, his gaze locking with yours. He shook his head slightly, signaling for you both to stay put.

He approached the edge of the road, where a gap between two cars revealed a narrow path leading into the woods. His posture was tense, his rifle raised and ready. He paused, listening, and you could see his muscles coiled, ready for any sudden movement.

Ellie bit her lip, glancing at you. “Should we…?”

“No,” you cut her off gently but firmly. “If Joel says to stay, we stay.”

Seconds stretched into what felt like minutes, and your hand found its way to your belly, instinctively protective. The air felt heavy, thick with anticipation. Then, a distant sound — a faint rustling from the trees, maybe an animal, or something else. Joel stiffened, his head turning towards the noise.

He moved further down the line of cars, his rifle up, every step deliberate and cautious. You held your breath, your fingers gripping the edge of the seat, silently willing him to be okay.

Ellie shifted beside you, restless. “I hate this waiting,” she muttered under her breath, her eyes darting to the window.

You couldn’t help but agree, the silence growing louder with every passing second.

You glanced at Ellie, then at Joel, who was still moving cautiously among the wreckage. Your instinct to help was overpowering, and you made a decision.

"I'm going out," you said, your voice firm despite the trembling of your hands.

Ellie’s eyes widened. "Are you sure? Joel told us to stay—"

"I know what he said," you interrupted gently but resolutely. "But I can’t just sit here while he’s out there alone. Stay inside and keep the door locked."

Without waiting for a response, you grabbed your gun from its place in the truck and slung your arrow bow over your shoulder. The weight of the weapons felt reassuring for a moment.

You stepped out of the truck, the cool air hitting your face as you scanned the area. The sight of Joel moving between the cars, his rifle up and ready, filled you with a mix of anxiety and determination. You approached him, keeping your movements deliberate and steady.

Joel turned sharply as he heard you approach, his expression a mixture of surprise and concern. “What the hell are you doing out here?” he snapped, though his voice carried a note of relief.

“I couldn’t stay in the truck,” you replied, your voice steady. “Ellie’s inside, but I needed to be out here. Let’s see what’s going on.”

Joel’s eyes softened slightly, though his brow remained furrowed. “You shouldn’t be—”

“We don’t have time for that,” you cut him off, your tone leaving no room for argument. “I’m pregnant, not broken.”

Joel studied you for a moment, then nodded reluctantly. “Fine. Just stay close and stay sharp.”

You moved alongside him, your senses on high alert as you navigated through the maze of abandoned vehicles. The air was thick with the scent of decay and rust, the remnants of chaos that had long since passed.

“Looks like we’ve got a narrow path here,” Joel said, gesturing towards the gap between the cars. “We might be able to push through, but it’s risky. You see anything suspicious?”

You kept your gaze moving, scanning the area for any signs of danger. “No, but I don’t like how quiet it is,” you replied.

Joel nodded, his grip on his rifle tightening as he led the way. The two of you moved cautiously, Joel checking every corner and crevice, while you kept watch with your bow ready. The silence of the forest pressed in on you, making every sound feel amplified and ominous.

As you carefully made your way through the narrow path, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of adrenaline and focus. Despite the danger, there was a strange sense of purpose in being out here, working alongside Joel to tackle the challenges ahead.

“Be careful,” Joel said quietly as you approached the end of the blockage. “We don’t know what’s beyond this.”

You gave a quick nod, your eyes scanning the area beyond the obstruction. The path led into the dense woods, a faint trail barely visible through the underbrush.

“I’ll go first,” you said, taking a step forward. “Stay close.”

Joel followed close behind, his eyes constantly scanning the surroundings. The two of you moved with practiced efficiency, navigating the difficult terrain with careful steps.

Once you reached a safer spot, you looked back at Joel. “We should make sure Ellie stays safe in the truck while we scout the area.”

Joel nodded in agreement. “Alright. Let’s head back and check on her.”

You made your way back to the truck, your senses still on high alert. As you reached the vehicle, Ellie looked up with a mix of concern and relief.

“Everything okay?” she asked, her voice edged with worry.

“Yeah, for now,” Joel replied, his gaze shifting back to you.

“We’ve got a way forward, but it’s going to be tricky. We need to keep moving.”

Just as you were about to get back inside the truck, a sudden, sharp crack split the air. The sound was immediately followed by a searing pain in your shoulder, knocking you back against the side of the truck.

“Shit!” Joel’s voice was a mix of shock and urgency as he turned, diving towards you. He pulled you away from the truck and crouched beside you, his face a mask of fear and determination. “Are you alright? Where were you hit?”

You winced, trying to focus through the pain. “Shoulder,” you gasped, your breath coming in short, painful bursts. “I—”

Another shot rang out, the bullet whizzing past dangerously close. Joel threw himself over you, pulling you closer to the truck. “Ellie, get down!” he shouted.

Ellie’s panicked eyes darted around as she scrambled to find cover inside the truck. “What the hell is going on?” she yelled, her voice trembling with fear.

Joel’s hands were already working to assess your injury, his movements quick and practiced. “You stay put,” he ordered, though his voice was gentler than the command. He ripped a strip from his shirt, pressing it against your shoulder to staunch the bleeding. “Ellie, stay inside and stay quiet. We need to figure out where those shots are coming from.”

You gritted your teeth against the pain, trying to keep calm. “Joel, we need to—”

“Not now,” Joel interrupted, his voice low but firm.

He moved with purpose, taking cover behind the truck and advancing toward the trees. You could hear the muffled sounds of gunfire as he engaged the unknown threat, each shot echoing through the woods. Your breaths came ragged, the pain in your shoulder a constant, throbbing reminder of the danger you were in.

Ellie peered out from the truck, her face pale with fear. “Is Joel gonna be, okay?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Ignoring the sharp pain in your shoulder, you struggled to get out of the truck. Ellie’s eyes widened in panic. “What are you doing? Stay inside!”

“I can’t just sit here,” you insisted through gritted teeth, moving carefully but determinedly towards the edge of the truck. “Joel needs help.”

Your movements were slow and pained, but adrenaline pushed you forward. You gripped your bow tightly, using it as a crutch to steady yourself. Every step felt like a battle, but you forced yourself to keep going, the need to help Joel outweighing the pain.

As you reached the cover of the trees, you saw Joel crouched behind a large trunk, his eyes scanning the area. He spotted you immediately, his expression shifting from concentration to alarm. “What the hell are you doing out here? Get back to the truck!”

“I’m not leaving you,” you said firmly, your voice carrying a blend of determination and desperation. “I can help.”

Joel’s gaze softened for a moment, but he didn’t waste time with arguments.

You took the gun, nodding as you aimed it towards the area where you had seen the movement. Your hands were unsteady, but you focused on the shadows darting through the trees. With Joel’s guidance, you managed to locate the attackers, your aim steadying as you fired a few shots, trying to provide cover for Joel.

The sounds of gunfire continued to echo through the woods, but gradually, the attackers’ shots grew less frequent. Joel’s movements were precise and calculated as he picked off the remaining threats. The tension in the air began to lift, the immediate danger subsiding.

When the firing finally ceased, Joel emerged from his cover, moving quickly back to your side. “You shouldn’t have come out here,” he said, his voice rough with both relief and frustration.

“I couldn’t just leave you to handle it alone,” you replied, your breath coming in ragged bursts. “How bad is it?”

As you caught your breath, Joel’s relief was short-lived. From the corner of your eye, you saw Ellie running towards you, her face a mask of fear and urgency.

“They’re coming back!” Ellie shouted, her voice trembling. “They took the truck!”

Joel’s eyes widened in shock, his expression hardening with determination. “Damn it. We need to move, now.”

You barely had time to process the information before the sounds of footsteps and shouts echoed through the trees, getting closer. Panic surged through you, but you forced yourself to stay focused. “The journal!” you cried out, the thought hitting you like a jolt.

“What?” Joel asked not even processing the moment you ran out of his sight.

You sprinted back towards the truck, the urgency in your steps driven by the desperate need to retrieve your journal. The pain in your shoulder was now a distant throb compared to the rising panic. As you neared the truck, you could see the man who had earlier hurt you rummaging through the cab, apparently searching for anything of value.

Your heart pounded as you reached the truck. The man’s back was turned, and you seized the opportunity to grab your journal. Your fingers closed around it, and you yanked it free from where it had fallen.

Just as you were about to turn and run, the man spun around, his eyes locking onto you with a menacing glare. “Hey!” he shouted, recognizing you. His hand reached for his weapon, but before he could aim it, you raised your own gun, your aim steady despite the adrenaline coursing through you.

“Stay back!” you commanded, your voice firm, though it trembled slightly with fear. The man hesitated; the tension palpable as he assessed the situation.

“You shouldn’t have come back,” he growled, his expression a mix of anger and surprise.

Without another word, he lunged towards you. Reacting instinctively, you fired a shot. The bullet struck him in the shoulder, causing him to stagger back, a pained cry escaping his lips. He dropped his weapon and clutched his shoulder, glaring at you with fury and frustration.

You didn’t wait to see his next move. Gripping the journal tightly, you dashed back towards the cover of the trees where Joel and Ellie were. The sound of gunfire and shouting had intensified, blending with the thumping of your heart.

When you rejoined Joel and Ellie, the fury in Joel’s eyes was palpable. His face was set in a hard line, his jaw clenched tightly. He glanced at you with a mix of anger and relief as you came back, clutching the journal to your chest.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Joel's voice was sharp, cutting through the chaos. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

You tried to catch your breath, the weight of his anger hitting you hard. “I—” you started, but the words were caught in your throat. You knew he was right, but the urgency of retrieving the journal had felt so immediate, so necessary.

Joel’s eyes softened slightly as he saw the journal in your hands. “Is that really worth risking your life for?” he demanded, his frustration evident.

“Yes,” you replied firmly, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and resolve.

Joel’s frustration boiled over. Without warning, he snatched the journal from your hands and threw it to the ground, the impact sending it skidding across the dirt. The sound of the journal hitting the ground was sharp, and you watched in shock as it lay there, dust and dirt mingling with the pages.

“Damn it!” Joel shouted, his voice echoing through the trees. “This isn’t worth risking your life over! Not like this!”

You stared at the journal, your heart sinking as you saw it lying there, a symbol of everything you had been trying to protect. “Joel, no!” you cried out, stepping forward to retrieve it.

Joel moved quickly to block you, his face a storm of emotion. “Just... stop,” he said, his voice strained. “We can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep risking everything for things that can be replaced.”

The raw emotion in his voice cut through you, and for a moment, you could see how deeply he was affected by the constant danger. You swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure as you looked at him. “It’s not just a journal,” you said softly.

You bent down slowly, picking up the journal with careful hands, brushing off the dirt. You looked at Joel, your eyes meeting his with hurt.

Joel’s jaw was clenched as he watched you carefully retrieve the journal. His frustration was palpable, and though he wanted to say more, the sight of your hurt expression made him falter. His gaze shifted to the journal on the ground, and then back to you, his anger still simmering beneath the surface.

Ellie stepped forward, her voice cutting through the tension with a mix of authority and concern. “Stop, Joel,” she said firmly. “She’s okay, right? That’s what matters now.”

Joel’s eyes softened as he looked at Ellie, his anger meeting the reality of the situation. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “Yeah,” he muttered, his voice low. “I guess you’re right.”

You carefully brushed off the last of the dirt from the journal and looked up at Joel. “I understand why you’re angry,” you said quietly. “I really do. But this journal...You don’t get it” you said, walking past him towards the new direction.

The old building was a welcome refuge, its once-abandoned state now offering a semblance of safety from the dangers outside. Inside, you set up a makeshift camp, trying to focus on tasks that would help you ignore the pain and tension.

Ellie had been quietly assisting you with cleaning and bandaging your shoulder wound. Her hands were careful, though her gaze occasionally flicked towards Joel, who was sitting a few feet away, his expression a mixture of guilt and frustration.

After a few hours, Joel finally rose from his seat, his movements deliberate. “Ellie,” he said, his voice firm but softened with an edge of weariness. “I’ll take it from here.”

Ellie looked at him with a mix of surprise and relief. “Sure thing,” she said, standing up and giving you a reassuring smile. “I’ll go check on our supplies.”

Joel moved closer; his eyes focused on your wound. “You doing okay?” he asked quietly, his hands steady as he started to clean the area with a fresh bandage and antiseptic. His touch was gentle, despite the roughness of his hands.

You looked at him, the silence between you feeling heavy. “I’m fine,” you replied, your voice quiet.

Joel’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, the frustration and anger seemed to dissolve, replaced by a deep, aching concern. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I just… I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

You sighed, letting your gaze drop as you felt his hands working on your shoulder. “I understand,” you said softly.

Joel's hands paused momentarily, his voice carrying a hint of desperation. "No, don't give me that tone," he pleaded, his eyes searching yours for any sign of understanding.

You looked up, meeting his gaze with a mix of weariness and compassion. "I'm not trying to give you a hard time," you said quietly. "I know you’re scared. We all are. It’s just sometimes it feels like we’re caught in this endless cycle.”

Joel's expression softened, his fingers resuming their careful work. "I know," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t mean to take it out on you. It’s just... hard, you know? Seeing you get hurt, and having to face the fact that I can’t always protect you."

You sighed, wincing slightly as he adjusted the bandage. "We’re all just trying to survive. We’re all scared and doing the best we can."

Joel nodded, his eyes still fixed on your wound as he finished wrapping it, and placing a kiss over the bandage.

Joel finished wrapping the bandage and leaned in to place a tender kiss over the newly covered wound. The gesture was both soothing and deeply personal, a silent promise of his care and commitment.

You looked at him, feeling the warmth of his touch linger even as he pulled back. “Thank you,” you said quietly, your voice filled with gratitude.

Joel’s eyes met yours, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier,” he said quietly. “I was just... scared. Scared of losing you.”

Joel nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before he looked back up at you. “I just wish I could make it all easier,” he said, his voice carrying a note of frustration.

You took a deep breath, deciding to share something important. “The journal,” you began, “it wasn’t just any journal. It was from my sister. She… she gave it to me before everything went wrong. It’s all I have left of her. That’s why it means so much.”

He glanced at the torn pages. “I didn’t realize it meant so much to you,” he admitted, guilt heavy in his voice. “I didn’t mean to… to break it.”

You took a deep breath, finally looking up at him, tears in your eyes. “It was my sister’s,” you explained softly, your voice breaking. “We got separated when everything went to hell, and I never… I never found her again.”

Joel’s face softened, his eyes filling with a deep, aching sadness. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

“I’ve been writing in it,” you continued, your voice trembling, “like I was talking to her. Telling her what’s been happening, telling her about… about you, and Ellie… and the baby. I wanted to believe that maybe, somehow, she’d find it someday, and know that I never stopped looking for her, that I never gave up.”

Joel’s expression crumbled with understanding and regret. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, his hand finally settling on your shoulder, squeezing gently. “I didn’t know. I never would’ve…”

“I know,” you replied, wiping a tear from your cheek.

Joel’s eyes widened slightly, a mixture of surprise and understanding crossing his face. “I didn’t know,” he said quietly.

You nodded, feeling a bit of relief in having shared the significance of the journal. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” He said, “You helped me so much when I told you about Sarah,” he said, his voice catching slightly. “I should’ve understood why this means so much to you. I’m sorry.”

You reached out, placing a comforting hand on his. “We’re all dealing with our own pain and loss,” you said softly. “It’s okay. We just have to keep supporting each other.”

Joel’s eyes met yours, a glimmer of appreciation in his gaze.

As you spoke, a sudden, low growl interrupted the moment. Both you and Joel looked down to see your stomach growling audibly, the sound breaking the tension between you.

Joel’s eyes widened in surprise, and then a chuckle escaped him, his earlier frustration momentarily forgotten. “Well, someone’s hungry,” he said, his tone lightening.

You felt a flush of embarrassment, but the sound of his laughter was a welcome relief. “I guess this one is hungrier than me.” You say.

Joel’s laughter deepened at your comment, and he shook his head with a fond smile. “Guess we’ve got a hungry little one in there,” he said, his tone softening. “We should definitely get some food in you.”

Ellie, catching on to the lighter mood, chimed in with a grin. “I think that’s a good idea. I’ll help,” she offered, heading towards the supplies.

“I think we’ve got some dried fruit left… maybe a bit of jerky.”

You chuckled quietly, shaking your head. “Anything will do,” you assured him. “I’m not exactly craving a five-star meal here.”

Joel nodded, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. “Sit tight, I’ll get somethin’,” he said, moving toward the pack he’d dropped by the door.

As he rummaged through the bag, you took a moment to study him—his face lined with worry, his movements still a bit stiff.

He returned with a small handful of dried fruit and a bit of jerky, holding it out to you. “A feast for a queen,” he joked softly, though his eyes were still serious.

You took the food with a grateful smile, feeling a wave of love wash over you. “Thanks, Joel,” you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity. He nodded, his thumb brushing against your hand as he handed over the food.

“Just tryin’ to take care of you,” he murmured. “Both of you.”

You smiled softly, a hint of warmth blooming in your chest despite the cold reality of the world outside. "I know," you whispered back. “And you are, Joel. More than you know.”

"Oh, I forgot," Joel said suddenly, turning back toward his bag. You watched as he rummaged around, pushing aside supplies until he seemed to find what he was looking for. He straightened up, a small smile playing on his lips as he held out a slightly crumpled chocolate bar. "Got this at Frank's house," he explained, his eyes twinkling a little.

Your eyes widened in surprise and delight as you took the chocolate bar from his hand. "Seriously?" you asked, a grin spreading across your face. "You’ve been holding out on me?”

Joel chuckled softly. “Just savin’ it for when we needed it most,” he replied, his tone light. “Figured it might come in handy, and I guess now’s as good a time as any.”

You looked down at the bar, your heart swelling at the thoughtfulness behind such a small gesture. Chocolate had become such a rarity—a luxury, even—that you hadn’t even thought of it in ages. "This is… thank you, Joel," you said softly, your fingers tracing the edge of the wrapper. “You have no idea how much this means.”

Joel gave a small shrug, but you could see the hint of satisfaction in his expression. “Just want you to have a little bit of comfort,” he murmured, his hand brushing your arm briefly. "You deserve it."

You felt a lump form in your throat, a mix of gratitude and affection. “You’re sweet, you know that?” you said with a playful smile, tearing open the wrapper.

He chuckled, his lips curling into a small, sheepish grin. “Don’t go spreading’ that around,” he muttered, his gaze softening as he watched you take a small bite.

You closed your eyes, savoring the taste, the rich, sweet flavor melting on your tongue. For a moment, the worries and fears faded away, replaced by a small, simple joy. “It’s perfect,” you whispered, opening your eyes to meet his.

Joel’s smile deepened, his hand settling on your shoulder as he leaned in a little closer. “Good,” he said softly. “You deserve perfect, even if it’s just a piece of chocolate.”

And for a moment, in that quiet, fragile space, it felt like everything might just be okay.

Joel’s gaze lingered on you, his eyes full of warmth and a hint of something more. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. The touch was soft, tender, and you could feel the weight of his affection and apology in that simple gesture.

As he pulled back slightly, his expression searching yours, you heard a muffled, teasing voice from the other side of the room. “Gross,” Ellie said, her tone a mix of mock disgust and amusement. You turned to see her peeking out from under her blanket, a smirk playing on her lips.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound breaking the tension in the room. “Sorry, Ellie,” you said, trying to keep your voice light. “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “Just keep it PG, alright?” she said.

You reached into your bag and pulled out a piece of chocolate, offering it to Ellie with a playful grin. “Here, Ellie. Since you had to witness that, you deserve a treat too.”

Ellie’s eyes widened in mock surprise, and she grinned as she took the chocolate from your hand. “Thanks,” she said, unwrapping it with a bit of dramatic flair. “I guess I can’t complain about a bit of chocolate, even if it comes with a side of grossness.”

Joel chuckled softly, shaking his head at the banter between you and Ellie. “You two are something else,” he said with a smile, his earlier tension seemingly melted away by the lighthearted moment.

As you settled back with your own piece of chocolate, you felt a sense of calm and contentment that had been missing for a while. The simple pleasure of sharing a moment like this with Joel and Ellie, amidst the chaos and danger, made the world seem a little brighter.

Ellie took a bite of her chocolate, and her expression softened with genuine appreciation. “This is really good,” she said, her voice carrying a note of surprise. “Thanks for sharing.”

“You’re welcome,” you replied, your gaze meeting Joel’s once more.

As the night settled in, the room grew quieter. You could feel the exhaustion from the day catching up to you, and you rubbed your shoulder, still feeling the dull ache from the earlier injury.

Ellie yawned and stretched, then looked over at the lumpy couch against the wall. “Hey,” she said, her tone light and playful. “The pregnant lady deserves the couch.”

You raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, so now you’re feeling all generous?” you teased.

Ellie grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I mean, yeah. But only because I don’t want to hear you complain all night about sleeping on the floor.”

Joel chuckled from where he was standing by the window, keeping watch. “She’s got a point,” he added, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.

You shook your head, feeling a warmth in your chest despite the soreness in your shoulder. “Alright, fine,” you said, pretending to be reluctant. “I’ll take the couch, but only because you insist.”

Ellie smirked. “Yeah, yeah, take it before I change my mind.”

You moved over to the couch, sinking down onto it with a grateful sigh. The cushions were worn, and it wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it was better than the hard floor. “Thanks, Ellie,” you said, your voice more sincere now.

She waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t mention it. Just don’t hog all the blankets.”

Joel came over and draped a blanket over you, his touch lingering for a moment. “Get some rest,” he murmured softly, his eyes meeting yours with that familiar, protective look. “I’ll keep watch for a while.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of the day settle in your bones. “Okay,” you whispered, pulling you whispered, pulling the blanket up around your shoulders.

Ellie flopped down onto the floor nearby, wrapping herself in her own blanket. “Goodnight, guys,” she mumbled, already sounding half-asleep.

“Goodnight, Ellie,” you replied, and then you turned to Joel. “And… thank you. For everything.”

Joel gave a small, almost shy smile. “Get some sleep,” he repeated, his voice softer this time.

A few hours later, the darkness of the room seemed to press in from all sides. The only sound was the soft, rhythmic breathing of Ellie, fast asleep nearby. You had drifted off into a restless slumber, the exhaustion of the day pulling you under.

But suddenly, you were jolted awake by a sharp, searing pain that shot through your stomach. Your eyes flew open, and you instinctively curled forward, your hand clutching at your abdomen. The pain was intense, radiating outward in waves, and it stole your breath, leaving you gasping in the quiet room.

You sat up abruptly, trying to steady your breathing. The room seemed to spin for a moment, and you felt a cold sweat break out across your skin. You gritted your teeth, pressing your hand firmly against your abdomen, as if that could somehow steady the panic coursing through you.

Joel, who had been keeping a watchful eye from across the room, noticed the change immediately. He was at your side in an instant, his face etched with concern. “Hey, hey, what’s going on?” he whispered urgently, his hands hovering near you, unsure of what to do.

You struggled to speak, your breath coming in short gasps. “I… I don’t know,” you managed to say, fear lacing your words. “It just… it hurts.”

His brow furrowed, and his hand moved to your shoulder, squeezing it gently but firmly. “Okay, try to breathe through it,” he murmured, his voice steady, though his eyes betrayed his worry. “It might just be… the stress or the baby kicking. We’ve been through a lot today.”

You nodded, closing your eyes for a moment, focusing on the rhythm of your breath. The pain had subsided slightly, but a nagging fear still clawed at the edges of your mind. “What if something’s wrong?” you whispered, your voice trembling.

Joel’s grip tightened, his voice firm yet soothing. “Nothing’s wrong,” he insisted, his tone filled with determination. “We’re gonna get through this, okay? Just breathe… focus on me.”

You looked up at him, his steady gaze anchoring you as another twinge of pain rippled through your stomach, less intense this time. You forced yourself to nod, trying to push the fear down. “Okay,” you whispered, trying to trust his words, even as the anxiety lingered.

Joel continued to hold your gaze, his thumb gently brushing over your shoulder. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” he promised quietly. “Or the baby.”

You nodded again, trying to let his reassurance wash over you, even as a lingering dread whispered at the back of your mind.

But then, just as you began to feel the fear subside, a distant sound broke the stillness — a soft, almost inaudible creak coming from outside. Joel's eyes snapped toward the door, his expression instantly shifting to one of alertness.

He looked back at you, his eyes narrowed with concern. “Stay here,” he whispered, reaching for his gun. "Something's out there."

You held your breath, every nerve in your body suddenly on edge as you watched him move toward the door, the darkness outside seeming to press in, waiting.

And in that suspended moment, you felt it — the unmistakable sensation that something, or someone, was coming.

"Hey, little one,"

"I don’t know if you can feel it yet, but I hope you’re okay in there. I felt a pain that scared me more than anything has in a long time. Maybe it was just the stress, or maybe it was you letting me know you’re still there, and making your presence known.

I wish I could tell you everything is fine, that we’re safe, and there’s nothing to worry about. But the truth is, it’s hard out here. Harder than I ever imagined. Every day is a fight, a struggle to keep moving, to keep believing that there’s something better on the other side of all this. And some days, I wonder if I’m strong enough to do it — to keep us both safe, to bring you into a world like this."

"But then… I think of you. I think of holding you in my arms for the first time, feeling your heartbeat against mine, and suddenly, I know I have to keep going. For you."

"I’ve made some mistakes — like going after this journal, even when it wasn’t safe. I’m sure Joel would say it wasn’t worth it, but I need you to understand… this is all I have left of my sister. She was strong, like I want you to be. And she would’ve loved you, just like I already do."

"I don’t know what the future holds, but I promise you this: I’ll do everything I can to give you a chance. To give us both a chance. I won’t let fear win. I won’t let the darkness take that from us."

"So stay with me, little one. Hold on, just like I’m holding on to you. We’re in this together."

Always. “

Tags: @jasminedragoon @orcasoul @missladym1981 @hiroikegawa @eleganthottubfun @lumpypoll @cuteanimalmama @thespookywookies @goodvibesonly421 @karaslqve @greenwitchfromthewoods

[64reprieve]

masterlist ch.1

cw: mentions of self-harm ideation, meanish!ellie, loser!ellie, miscommunication, disassociation, mentions of trauma, alluding to internalized homophobia, oc is a mess and a little dramatic, compulsory heterosexuality, mentions of blasphemy, slight angst wc: 1.7k a/n: first chapter of my new fic. haven't formally written a story in a while so i'm a bit nervous about this. it's a little short but i didn't want to overwhelm the character introductions. all feedback helps! taglist: @user01o2kd @liasxeatt @wa-awa-awa @layalisthings free palestine

chapter 1: two moonshiners on the cusp of a breath

[Dorms, Boston University in Boston, MA, 3:37pm, Move-in, Ellie’s Journal Entry]

Flew back to Boston last week. Tess has been hovering since she picked me up from the airport but she hasn’t bugged me about not picking up Joel’s calls. I won’t see Dina until after she gets back from Jesse’s parents. Her side of the room’s already put together. I’ve made my bed if that’s anything. Dina said to leave the door open so I could meet people during move in but I don’t really care about talking to strangers and I didn’t transfer here to make friends.

[Dorms, Boston University in Boston, MA, 7:25pm, Move-in, Ellie’s Journal Entry]

Unpacked half of the boxes I brought. I want to put up this picture of Riley but I don’t want Dina to think it means I’m getting bad again and I don’t want to talk about her. She came back to the door locked because I forgot to keep track of the fucking time and now she’s having me go to some bar with her and Jesse’s friends so I don’t spend my first day here holed up.

[Bar, Cask ‘n Flagon in Boston, MA, 8:24pm, Group Dinner]

Eden tucks her face into her elbow as she coughs, earning a glance from Abby. She’s been under the weather for two weeks and thinks it’s starting to worry her roommate.

“Who are we waiting on?" She asks with a gravelly voice, clearing her throat. 

Abby shrugs, scrolling on her phone and briefly scanning the bar for any sign of her friends as she replies,“Dina and her boyfriend.” 

Eden nods and coughs into her arm again. Abby sighs, placing her phone face down on the table. 

“Do you have COVID again?” She asks, blankly.

Eden shakes her head in response, eyebrows pinched together. She pauses to sip her pink thermos when Abby probes another question, “Are you pregnant?” 

She scoffs, polished fingers flicking Abby’s muscular arm earning her a playful hiss. She’s confident she’s not pregnant–unless it’s the second coming of Christ. 

“No! I’m not pregnant,” She argues, brows easing, “I just have a cough and that’s not even a symptom.”  

Abby raises a hand in mock surrender, lips quirking in amusement, “I’m narrowing it down. Kidding, I know your boy toy doesn’t have it in him.” 

Abby’s mention of Erik earns a half-hearted frown. Erik, a family friend of Eden’s turned potential suitor by the pressures of her ever-so-attentive parents. She doesn’t even like love him, no, but he adores her–dotes on her which is enough for Eden to work with. The furthest they’ve gone was holding hands for half a date while walking through a park. It’s ingrained in her memory but how could she forget? His hands were so clammy. 

She palms at her denim-clad knee in a subconscious effort to reassure herself. Of what–she doesn’t know. “Did Dina say when she’d get here?” Eden asks, shifting the subject to something that doesn’t make her skin itch.

Abby’s back on her phone, scrolling through what looks like a medical TikTok page and landing on a video of– something on some part of the human body being removed. How is that even allowed? She mumbles a reply, “Like ten minutes ago.”

The bar is teeming despite it being a Wednesday. The brick walls combined with the mass of screens playing some variation of a sport and the smell of beer lingering in the air. Eden nods and tries not to dwell on how she’d rather be elsewhere. Preferably in her and Abby’s shared dorm, laying in bed with the lights off and Abby’s white noise machine playing a little too loud. She promised she’d make an effort to be more social this term and this is her first attempt. It’d be embarrassing to mess up. 

The squeak of a chair being pulled out from across the table cuts her anxious thoughts short. Dina’s sitting down with a sheepish smile, her black ponytail swaying softly as Jesse joins beside her. “Sorry, we ran a little later than I thought.” She apologizes. 

Jesse stretches his arms above his head with a relaxed smile, humming out a quip, “Yeah– my nails wouldn’t dry.” Abby laughs in return, flipping him off.

Eden’s lips part to reassure Dina, when the chair beside her sharply scratches against the tiled floor, silencing her. She’s convinced a stranger’s decided to join them until Dina clears her throat, hand flicking toward the auburn-haired girl as she explains, “Guys, meet Ellie. Ellie, this is Abby and Eden.” 

Ellie spares the two a curt nod to which Abby smiles. Eden’s not as impressed, her nerves getting the best of her as she stares for longer than socially acceptable. Ellie stares back, expression blank. She’s unsure of the obscure weight that suddenly builds in her stomach. It’s not something she’s felt before meeting someone new, but Eden wants to be polite–she’s going to be polite. 

The girl is beautiful in a way she’s not used to. Short, choppy strands akin to a mullet. Freckles pepper every inch of the girl’s skin and the green of her eyes reminds Eden of a summer she’d spent in Oregon– are those tattoos? Ellie breaks eye contact first, turning her head wordlessly. Eden follows suit to behave, tracing the dip of her nose until the skin blends into the curve of her lips in her peripheral view. The girl smells of fresh laundry and mint. Should I cut my hair like that? No– her parents would probably kill her. At the very least, they’d pull her from school. She wouldn’t want to prove them right and then be subjected to a lecture on how college is the devil’s playground. 

She coughs into her arm again then breathes in shakily, rattling with mucus and lips curling into a small smile as her hands sink into her lap– unsure of where to put them. She directs her attention to Dina instead, "Your new roommate?"

Dina nods, intertwining her hand with Jesse's on the table. Eden ponders the idea of his being as clammy as Erik’s. Maybe it’s a guy thing. She wonders if Dina enjoys touching him or if she does it out of formality. "Yes and no. She just moved back, but she's spent every summer here with us," Dina flicks her head toward Jesse who's staring at her–immersed in her existence. Is that what she and Erik look like? "Ellie's mom lives next door to his."

Abby hums, sipping her water as she comments, "Cute," She sets the cup down, curious, "So is this your first year or are you a transfer?"

Ellie’s leaning forward and looking past– overlooking Eden. The weight in her stomach sinks further at the action. It reaches her throat, prickling her insides like a rare disease making her tense and speculate if everyone at the table can read her. Did she eat something bad before coming here?

Eden pushes her thoughts to wade in calmer water as she struggles to bury the ripple of Ellie’s voice, “Transfer. I–uh, went to UW in Wyoming.” It’s soft, raspy, and slow. Fitted to her appearance like divine coincidence in a way that makes Eden’s mouth sticky. She pulls the collar of her sweater over her nose, muffling another cough into the fabric.

Abby nods, pushing her tongue against her cheek teasingly, “Was the program shit there?” 

Eden notes how Ellie’s veined hand twitches atop the wood table at Abby’s simple inquiry. “Something like that.” She mumbles. 

For a moment, Dina watches Ellie as if she’ll break. If Abby notices, she doesn’t say anything, accepting the topic’s end with another nod. Eden’s not as indifferent. The silence at the table makes her want to pick at Ellie’s brain until the hours bleed into days despite having just met her. She wants to know if something happened in Wyoming. She wonders if the sickness that’s plagued her these past couple of weeks is some form of a brain-eating amoeba. She’ll check WebMD later, but for now, she’ll settle with being impolite.

She doesn’t know why she says it– why she couldn’t let someone else steer the conversation into something more palatable. She’s never been skilled at reading a room, but even this she could feel. “Bad enough to run away?” She asks, quietly. Her words held no malice or intent, yet Ellie’s lips pressed into a subtle, tight line, and worse of it all– it was directed at her. The girl squints briefly, resembling agitation and Eden worries she’ll be yelled at any second for doing something wrong. She’s suddenly ten again, hiding behind a sheer curtain and clawing into the fabric with her nails, secretly willing it to rip through and pierce her skin while awaiting the blow. Instead, Ellie drops her gaze and turns away from her. “It’s alright.” She imparts.

Her shortness is just as damaging. Eden realizes the pressure in her stomach has festered into an ache. She wants Ellie to like her, and she doesn’t know why. She knows she’s done something wrong again because her ears ring like a flatline and she wishes she was. 

The waitress returns as a savior and a bucket of cold water. Dinner isn't tense, thanks to her non-socially inept friends. Eden doesn’t attempt another effort to guide the conversation, humiliation fresh. Ellie orders chicken tenders with fries to pick at them and scrunches her nose when Jesse’s coffee is poured. Eden is half intrigued, half nauseous at the other's presence. She rode The Zipper at the fair with a friend last summer– the same tempestuous swirl in her gut.

She waits for the three to part before she slides off her stool, heart in her stomach. It must show on her face because Abby tosses a twenty on the warm receipt, looking at Eden tiredly. “Done for the night?”

Eden forces out a breath, nodding promptly. “Please.”

[Dorms, Boston University in Boston, MA, 10:36pm, Ellie’s Journal Entry]

I met Dina’s friends. And I tried to be nice the entire time for her and Jesse. They were nice. The girl next to me coughed more than she spoke. She wore converse too except they weren’t fucked up. I hope she got me sick. I don’t want to do anything. I texted Joel back. The chicken tastes like shit at Cask n’ Falgon(?)

comment/reblog for taglist! likes and reblogs appreciated!

[jackiequick]

—Fearless in Smallville ~ Dc Comics OC

—-

Face Claim: Sophia Bush

-----------

Full Name: Lucille Claire Kent

Nicknames: Lucy, Lucy Lu, Miss Kent, Claire, Clara

Age: 16-29 (spanning different seasons)

Height: 5’3” - 5’4”

Birthdate: August 3 (Leo)

Jobs: High school reporter, photographer, and reporter for Daily Planet/Gotham Gazette

Family: Jonathan Kent (father), Martha Kent (mother), Clark Kent (brother), Lois Lane (sister-in-law)

Extended Family: Kara Zor-El, Chloe Sullivan, Oliver Queen, Lana Lang, Tess Mercer, Jimmy Olsen, Arthur Curry, Cyborg, Wally West, and more

Relationship Status: Single for the most part, dated Oliver Queen, Lex Luthor, and Bruce Wayne

Personality: Lucy is brave, compassionate, and stubborn, with a tenacious streak that helps her achieve her goals. She is down to earth, determined, and often a quick thinker. Her curiosity drives her to uncover the truth, while her politeness and humor make her approachable. However, she can be headstrong and struggles with emotional boundaries. A bit of a chatterbox, she can present herself as a social butterfly when in the mood to be outgoing.

~~~~

Background: Born and raised in Smallville, Lucy grew up alongside her brother Clark, unaware of his alien origins until their teenage years. She attended Smallville High, where she was involved in various clubs and developed a love for journalism and photography. Despite initially disliking school, she found a passion for English, Art, and History, which influenced her hobbies and career choices.

Hobbies and Interests: Lucy enjoys photography, dancing, reading mystery novels, and volunteering at local shelters. She is an avid fan of classic rock music and loves baking, often trying out new recipes on weekends. Her interest in writing and reading extends to specific texts that capture her curiosity.

Goals and Aspirations: Lucy aims to become a renowned investigative journalist, uncovering stories that make a difference. She also hopes to travel the world, documenting different cultures and stories.

Skills:

Combat: Basic self-defense, proficient with guns and crossbows

Languages: Fluent in Spanish, conversational in French

Technical: Advanced photography techniques, basic hacking skills

Physical Description:

Distinctive Features: Small scar on her wrist from an accident in a cornfield, scar behind her shoulder from a bow and arrow incident on a rooftop, and rough hands due to her activities.

Fashion Sense: Casual and practical, often seen in comfortable jeans, flannels, and her favorite hoop earrings. She dresses more professionally when required for her job at the Daily Planet/Gotham Gazette.

Fears and Insecurities: Lucy has a fear of being alone, misjudged, or misunderstood. She also fears being harmed or humiliated by others, which occasionally affects her confidence in social situations.

~~~~

Education: Lucy initially disliked school and learning but grew to enjoy English, Art, and History in high school. These subjects were entertaining and engaging for her, leading to her interest in writing, reading, and photography.

Relationships: Lucy has a close-knit group of friends, including Chloe Sullivan and Lana Lang. She has had complex relationships with Oliver Queen, Lex Luthor, and Bruce Wayne, each shaping her view on trust and love.

Quotes:

“Sometimes, the truth is buried where no one wants to look.”

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the determination to keep going despite it.”

Daily Life: A typical day for Lucy involves early morning runs, followed by a busy day at the Gotham Gazette. Evenings are reserved for spending time with friends and family or working on her latest investigative piece.

~~~

~~~~~

How Lucy met Lex

You know the tale of Superman, but do you know of his beginnings? Smallville. It’s where he grew up with his family, made friends and foes, fell in love, got his education, explored his powers on his own terms, and became the man he is today.

On that very day, when Clark arrived on Earth, the Kent family were already anticipating another child. However, they couldn’t conceive until the meteor shower fell onto Smallville, nearly crashing down everything within it. In that very ship arrived a toddler not older than 2, naked. Martha, Jonathan, and Lucy were turned upside down in shock at the young boy. Lucille Claire Kent was less than 5 but curiously smiled in her daddy’s arms while her mother gently picked up the boy, wrapping him in a red blanket. Jonathan was confused, looking up at the sky as his wife searched for answers, finding Lionel Luthor and his son Lex Luthor amidst the chaos. Clark became warm and gentle, very much in awe of his newfound world.

Lucille, Clark, and Lex all sat in that truck, never to be seen again until later on in high school.

That same day, they met again, after older Lex, almost fresh out of college, knocked his car across a bridge, hitting Clark as the police, firefighters, and ambulance arrived later on. Along with Lucy and their father to see the damage. 48 hours later, a gift was sent to Kent Farm, a gift from Lex for the accident that happened. A car and a necklace. Their father wasn’t the happiest man alive to be seeing these gifts, knowing Clark is still too young to drive around town and Lucy’s jewelry might not even be real, possibly causing her an allergic reaction or something. But the more pressing matters were how Clark was completely fine after that accident!

Their parents knew the possible reason behind that issue, but the siblings were confused as hell. Even going as far as to test out that theory, noticing that Clark runs rather fast, doesn’t get hurt that easily, and etc. He is an alien! As they found out soon enough by their parents.

Later on that week, Lucy arrived at the mansion to find Lex in his office. They never got an actual chance to properly speak to one another. He was dressed in a navy blue sweater, black pants, and dress shoes in comparison to her green and blue flannel, t-shirt, jeans, and black flats along with her favorite hoop earrings.

She stood in the doorway holding up a basket of fruit, knocking on the door to catch his attention. He looked up with a smile, standing up from his chair to greet the young woman, motioning for her to come inside.

“Hi,” she said with her slight raspy voice and giggly smile, “Oh um, your guard let me in.”

He chuckled, “Hey. And yeah, I was going to ask how you got inside.”

“Charm, I guess?”

“I guess so. So, what brings you by?”

“Uh, I just wanted to thank you for the necklace and the truck. But I don’t know why, because it’s not me you crashed into, it was my brother.”

“Yeah, but you looked rather in bad shape as well. I figured a gift could cheer you up and apologize for the accident I caused.”

“Yeah..Dad’s not too happy about that. He thinks you’re just winning us over or something like that.”

He walked with her around the room, taking the small fruit basket out of her hands and placing it on the desk. Lex asked, “Well am I?”

“I’m afraid to say that you won me over,” she replied with a chuckle.

“That was sort of the plan.”

“Well, it worked.”

“You said Clark is your brother, older brother I’m guessing?”

“Oh no, quite the opposite actually. I’m older by two years. He’s a freshman and I’m almost a junior.”

“Wow, really? You both look rather young.”

“Genetics I guess. But you’re rather young yourself.”

The two smiled and chatted, laughing every so often. Taking a liking to each other rather quickly. Lucy could see what Clark, who had already met up with Lex twice, meant by saying he’s a pretty alright person. Charming, kind, strong-minded, well-mannered, rich, and impressive. Lex found himself taking a great fondness to her. He didn’t know if it was because he hadn’t met that many people in Smallville just yet, or what it was. But he found her sweet, silly, charming, open-minded at times, and a bit of a chatterbox. He didn’t mind it at all.

The two became friends within that week.

Little did they know that friendship would soon turn upside down...

----

How Lucy Met Bruce Wayne Years Later

Meanwhile, while Clark was off training with his powers, Lucy went to Metropolis to start as a young intern for the Daily Planet. Just picking up coffee and donuts for the staff, assisting with actual reports, picking up dry cleaning, and getting things done in general.

Eventually, Perry White gave her the opportunity to start actually doing more writing and photography than just picking up dry cleaning for the staff. She grinned, working with Jimmy Olsen on a few small pieces for the Daily Planet, getting to deal with the morning greetings and nightly specials collection of the paper.

Finding whatever opportunity for what she deemed as interesting subjects that young folk like her and Jimmy would enjoy. Around that same time, Clark returned home, and she hugged her big brother, suggesting that he get a job at the Daily Planet as well. The Kent Siblings at the Daily Planet!

He accepted her request, deciding to take a crack at it and thinking it would be rather helpful for when he gets his real opportunity to save the lives of many. The moment he arrived at the Daily Planet, he met her. Lois Lane. And he was starstruck the second he saw her, fumbling over his words as the pair spoke. He could practically hear his sister coughing down a few giggles from her desk the entire time. Can you blame her? She found it adorable.

But her moment to become starstruck came only a few short days after her meeting with Perry White. He wanted a few reporters from the Planet to fly over to Gotham Bay to get the latest footage and scoop on the Charity Events being hosted there. Lucy was picked out of all the other reporters, being dragged into the mess with people such as Cat Grant and such.

She always heard about Gotham's modern-day elements with that vintage noir style that made it feel classy. Timeless even.

The moment she arrived at Gotham airport in a hurry to reach her hotel and get a feel for the actual city she would be placed into for the next few days, Lucy bumped shoulders with someone, giving a small sorry not realizing she dropped her sunglasses. Thankfully, the person she bumped into did.

He noticed the simple silver dollar glasses that landed on the floor, calling out, “Excuse me, miss?”

She turned around, hummed quietly facing the person who she assumed called her back there. She pointed to herself to make sure, the man noticed jogging up to her.

Once he did, she got a better glimpse of him. Tall, rich bright blue eyes that are as clear as day, and a soft wide smile. Along with a noticeable mark on his upper cheekbone.

“I believe you dropped these,” he said with a smile holding up the statement sunglasses.

“Oh uh-yes I did,” she replied, fumbling with her bag on her shoulder, smiling softly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. Things happen.”

“Thank you, Mr…”

“Wayne. Bruce Wayne.”

“Thank you, Mr. Wayne.”

“No problem.”

“Do you need a hand?”

“Uh um, yes please.”

He helped carry the suitcase out the door, as she held her bag. The two smiled, holding up to a 5-minute simple conversation waiting for the taxi to arrive. He opened the door for the lady, placing the suitcase beside her. She closed the door, thanking him once again for the help.

Before the taxi driver could take off, Bruce leaned down facing the window remembering something, “I didn’t get your name.”

“Lucy,” she replied with a smile.

The taxi driver drove off, leaving Bruce Wayne standing there with a smile. He chuckled at the thought, as he heard Alfred call from him saying that his car was ready to take him home. Alfred saw the look on his face, smiling to himself, enjoying the thought of the young man happy for whatever reason.

Two nights later, the Charity Event arrived, Lucy walked in a short gray dress, that had pockets near the front, red pumps, and her hair tied up with pieces hanging out to frame her face. She wasn’t going for anything fancy, just something business casual and professional.

She took tips and quick interviews from people, getting a feel of the Charity Event as well as the people of Gotham. The elite center of men and women asked for photos to be requested in their inboxes, meanwhile other folks gladly spoke to them answering simple questions. Such as Jim Gordon who spoke to her and Cat Grant with such calm intellect that made them feel comfortable during the event.

A few ladies went running around and past them, finding themselves on the other end of the hallway towards the elegant man who walked into the building. Gushing, asking him things, flirting with the man in question, and requesting a few dances on the floorboard. Hell, even Cat Grant rushed over, hoping to snatch him up for a few minutes to herself. All Bruce Wayne could do was laugh and smile, catching a glimpse of the women in the far right corner loudly giggling. They locked eyes, recognizing each other again. She shrugged at the chaos as he mouthed jokingly, ‘help’.

She jokingly mouthed, ‘You’re on your own.’ The woman walked away sipping her drink, grabbing an interview with a few ladies of the jurying party. Some time later, she found herself on the dance floor with a nice blonde billionaire chatting away mid-laugh, until the blue-eyed man from earlier asked if he can cut in.

The pair nodded, as both men switched places. Now her hands were placed securely in his own, as his other gently lay on her waist. Her arm rested above his shoulder with ease.

“So, Mr. Wayne..” She said, being cut off by a smile.

“Bruce. You can call me Bruce.” He replied with a smile.

“Bruce. I see you escaped the attack of the wild she-wolves.”

“Ah, well, you see I’m a master at escaping situations like that one.”

“It’s a gift then, Mr. Wayne.”

Bruce smiled, liking the way it rolled off her tongue, he almost would’ve melted at the sound. His last name came off too sly, tender, and sweetly dressed like a cowboy’s favorite slice of pie on a nice sunny day. She returned the smile, getting lost in his eyes for a moment with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Like what you see?” She teased him with a grin, “Mr. Wayne.”

“Stop that,” he replied with a grin, twirling her around.

“Stop what?”

“The way you say my name, Ms. Kent.”

“Or what?”

“I might have to show you the town and then take you home.”

“A billionaire’s house? No thank you, hon. Wait—I didn’t tell you my last name..”

She landed mid-twirl into his arms, their chests against one another as she let a blush rise to her cheeks.

“It’s on your name tag,” he said with a smile, it was his turn to make her melt a bit tonight.

“Oh um, right,” she added, swaying in place as her eyes landed on his face.

“Yes?”

“I have a question.”

“Go for it.”

“Did you know about me coming here tonight?”

“No, I had no idea they were sending a Daily Planet reporter to Gotham, darling.”

“Fair, are you here for the Charity or free drinks?”

“Oh not exactly, Wayne Enterprises is offering a huge donation to the orphanage and hospitals nearby.”

Lucy smiled hearing that. She remembered hearing from Lois that Gotham men can be trash sometimes, but that's not what she sees. Especially adoring the fact that he was someone with money giving to the less fortunate, it was sweet and showed that he cared.

She smiled softly, “That’s lovely.”

“Now I have a question to ask you.” He added, returning the smile, “If you knew who I was when we met at the airport, would you have thought differently?”

“Hmm, depending on the situation. If I had to rate it, I would’ve given you a 7 for kindness and generosity towards me.”

“I’ll take it. May I say, you’re a good dancer, Ms. Kent.”

“Thank you, Mr. Wayne.”

“You have a slight change in accent, where are you from?”

“Uh, can you guess?”

“Hmm, Tennessee?”

“Close. It’s the southern part of the country, Kansas.”

“Kansas? Never met anyone from there before.”

“Well now you have!”

“It’s my lucky day.”

The pair kept chatting, Lucy being able to get some insight into Wayne Enterprises and the CEO of the company, but still wanting more about Gotham. Bruce found himself very responsive and liking the fact that she didn’t see him as the billionaire or walk away like the other women at the party. His eyes rushed to meet her face, taking it all in.

The two got to know each other fairly well. But it didn’t stop there, as the next morning he showed up at her hotel doorstep requesting to show her the city for the article she was writing. She agreed, following him to the limousine, where Alfred Pennyworth introduced himself graciously.

Little did the pair know that they would be dating afterwards. Spending visits to Gotham and Metropolis, date nights, and meeting friends. That’s how Bruce actually met Clark Kent and Lois Lane. Superman met Batman during those visits, growing respect for one another.

World’s Finest.

//

That's all folks! I have a short story on how Oliver Queen met Lucy but that would have to be for another time ;) Anyways let me know what you think in the comments below!

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @cherrysft @rickb-chaos @starkleila @infinetlyforgotten @meiramel @sherloquestea @djs8891 @buckysteveloki-me @yetanotherwells @nakiaswg @carellmcu @ximehs @xgoddessoffandomsx

[mindblowingscience]

UC Riverside astrophysicist Stephen Kane had to double-check his calculations. He wasn't sure the planet he was studying could be as extreme as it seemed. Kane had never expected to learn that a planet in this faraway star system is covered with so many active volcanoes that seen from a distance, it would take on a fiery, glowing-red hue. "It was one of those discovery moments that you think, 'wow, it's amazing this can actually exist," Kane said. A paper detailing the discovery has been published in The Astronomical Journal. Launched in 2018, NASA's Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite, or TESS, searches for exoplanets—planets outside our solar system—that orbit the brightest stars in the sky, including those that could support life.

Continue Reading.

[mystery-twin-mystery-bags]

🎨 Artists File #30: Tess Courtes!

The Mystery Twin Mystery Bags project is a Gravity Falls-themed fundraiser for Gaza aid. If you’d like to learn more about us, please check our pinned FAQ!

Image Description: A graphic made to look like Stanford Pine's journal entries with aged paper, coffee stains, symbols, and ink splatters on it. Written in the top left corner in bold letters is "Tess Courtes" Below in cursive reads: "(they/them) Instagram: tesscourtesart Twitter: tesscortes" Below is Tess' of a person with their red-haired head cut over to show their brain, that Bill Cipher is playing with the neurons for. An arrow points at it with a note in cursive: "I know a Cipherholic when I see one." Next to that photo is Tess' comic of a human Bill Cipher. The first panel of him smiling with Mabel, wearing a yellow sweater with eyes on it, saying "Granule in Training." The second frame is Bill in the sweater and Stan judging while wearing a Pit-Cola. The last frame is Bill smiling mischievously and showing out the message on the sweater.

Check us out on our other social medias: Twitter Instagram

[women-of-malevolent]

META: The 5 types of female characters in Malevolent: Dead, Girlchildren, Crazy Old Hags, Wordless Employees, Nameless Community Member. (categories sometimes overlap)

Girlchildren - Faroe, Addison, Sarah, Emily, Lilly, Young Girl Daughter Of A Senator, The Witch, Anais Lachlann - these are tokens that prove a male character's good masculinity. Keeping them alive all the way to adulthood makes you a Good Father And Good Man, worth +9999 Man Points, but they're extremely fragile. Knowingly sacrificing one?! That's negative infinity points. You bad, bad man. How could you? Girls are for protecting, not hurting.

Crazy old hag - Unnamed Witches 1 & 2, Unnamed Elderly Woman, The Widow, Wraith Stanczyk, Hattie & Scratch - a Very Scary And Dangerous Old Woman. She is usually explicitly stinky, she is often supernaturally powered, she is always unpredictable and alarming. She is often associated with animal sounds and filthy or naturalistic living quarters, which John and Arthur usually break into. Sometimes she bestows a boon; the boon can be given freely or stolen.

Dead girls and women - Everyone Else Not Mentioned Elsewhere - much overlap with the other categories. Most have strong implications of sexual violence before their death; several are implied to have been died from childbirth complications. Of the ones who have some voice in the story (Sarah, Emily, Anna), most of their correspondences with each other are about men who subjugated and/or ultimately killed them.

Service Workers/Employees - never any dialogue, never any characterization, usually no names. Noel sexually harasses half of them onscreen multiple times.

Members of a community cluster - often these are goodness tokens. Can John & Arthur Save The Community Cluster? With few exceptions, these men and women are not named or characterized.

Marie Pilon - not easily categorized. A good start in that way. Good to have more and more female characters that can't be chunked into the above not-very-flattering categories. Marie Pilon is characterized by her relationship to the Hattie storyline, where the female version of Arthur is characterized as nothing... John and Arthur both literally dismiss the idea that the female version of Arthur could have a journal, because she's old... the Hattie stuff bums me out so much but Marie is a step in the right direction.

Can't wait to see how Lillith and Anna Stanczyk break the mold!

Other exceptions to this categorization attempt: the unnamed woman who John and Arthur gave a baby (because even if she wasn't this specific baby's mother, she had to be a mother of some kind); Tess's mother (mentioned one time; she was sick); offended woman on train and offended woman in hospital (both are one-off gags - a straight-man-type character reacting huffily to Arthur's madman antics)

[year2000electronics]

ok but if my gfsona tess works at gravity falls elementary, she probably ran into journal 2 at some point, right?

[gleefulpoppet]

Moonfall Manor Masquerade: Chapter 22

“Awww,” Kurt says, rubbing his back. 

“My heart is full. Reading Madame Moonstone columns and spending so much time with Alex and Tess. And journal time. I need cuddles and sleep. Are you… Can you feed off me? Or…?” Blaine asks cautiously. 

Kurt leans over and kisses his cheek. “Yeah. Just a bit to help you sleep. Who knew you would turn out to be such a venom junkie?”

Blaine laughs and shrugs. “I love how it stings.”

“I know you do,” Kurt says softly. “After what happened last night, I think we need to take it easy for a few days, but I can manage if we aren’t [...]” 

You can read Chapter 22 [here] or from the beginning on AO3 [here]. (This story started for @klainetober and will have regular updates twice a week until it is complete! ) Chapter posted 12/09/2024.

[sundownpromises]

The Beauty in The Last of Us Part II's Ending

I just want to take a minute to ramble about the ending of TLOU2 because it is one of the most beautiful endings to a game ever.

It’s so easy to watch the ending and feel nothing but sadness for Ellie. Her worst fear came true – ending up alone. But something that I love about this ending is the renewed sense of hope that you feel. Or that I felt, at least.

After the final cutscene with Joel, when we see Ellie’s face, she seems at peace. To me, I see the face of someone who has finally learned to forgive. I think this moment is the moment we finally see Ellie silently realize that the only way to truly heal is to accept what has happened and to let it go. She will never forget everything that happened; that much is clear. Trauma is not something that one can forget, and even if she could, the physical scars and her missing fingers will remain a constant reminder of all that she’s lost and has endured. But now we see Ellie finally reach the point in her journey where she is able to outgrow that trauma. Her trauma, which was once a heavy ball of lead tied around her ankle, has now become small enough that she can walk without the weight. 

And then, of course, we see her leave the guitar behind. I’ve always believed that this symbolizes not leaving Joel behind, but instead no longer resenting him, understanding him, and learning to move on. Sure, she can no longer play the guitar in the same way she used to, and that’s heart-breaking. The guitar was such a clear connection between Joel and Ellie, and it has been said that now that she can no longer play that that connection is broken. But what if that’s not such an awful thing? I believe that there is a silver lining; she will always have other things to remember him by because Joel is always to her. She’s got the pin he gave her for her birthday. She’s got drawings of him in her journal (now that she can finally imagine him not in pain but in tranquility), and most importantly, memories. Yes, she has lost a lot, so much, including the one physical object that directly tied her to Joel -- but what is grief, if not love persevering? (Cheesy and cliche, I know, but so fitting).

 And when we see her walk into the forestry, she walks with determined steps. It is unclear where she is going – but I think at this point, after all Ellie has been through, she sees the futility in unnecessary violence. In a world that is so unforgiving and cruel, what is truly lacking is love and compassion. Ellie is capable of giving and receiving both of those things. She doesn’t have a violent heart; it’s just that the world that she grew up in has shown her nothing but pain and loss. Her circumstances have caused her to react in the only way that she saw fit (further proving that the world Ellie lives in is the true villain of this game, but that is for another post). But we see it with Dina, we see it with Joel, Maria, Tommy, Jesse, and we see it in her survivor’s guilt that she feels toward Tess, Riley, and Sam. We have seen the love and compassion that she has felt for all of these people no matter how short lived the relationship.

This point brings me to a particular line of dialogue from the first game that I absolutely love. It is a line that Joel says to Ellie at the very end:

You keep finding something to fight for.

Is that not what survival is all about? Is that not what enduring is all about? To survive is to find meaning in that survival. When I see Ellie walk off at the end of Part 2, I like to believe that she is going to find meaning elsewhere – whatever that may look like. Personally, I could see her running into another group of survivors who take her in, and she helps them and she cares for them because she knows that that’s how she should be living her life – doing good by other people (or perhaps she truly does go back to Jackson, which I could also envision). She knows that that’s what Joel would want for her. 

The Last of Us Part II is a game full of so much tragedy and despair and yet… there is hope to be found. Some people don’t like the ending because it is so open-ended and ambiguous. But personally that’s why I find it so profound and beautiful. I don’t have all the answers but instead I am left with a feeling; a feeling of hope. A renewed sense of faith. That is enough for me. To be teased with that silver lining and to be left alone with my own thoughts, to come up with my own conclusions, is an extremely impactful way to end a game. Wherever Ellie is, I just hope she’s happy. That’s what she deserves.

I think as people who consume media (movies, TV shows, books, games, etc), we're so used to seeing endings that feel truly resolved. In other words, endings that answer all of our pressing questions. But the fact that TLOU2's ending just leaves you with a feeling is so beautiful to me. Ellie's new journey is just beginning, and we as players are not going on that journey with her (at least not until Part 3). It is bittersweet in a way. We can only hope.

[silverklar]

in a phase where my anxiety is robbing me of the ability to fall asleep, and at the same time my depression is making me need sleep more than usual. it's fantastic <3

[litandlifequotes]

This hobble of being alive is rather serious, don’t you think so?

Tess of the D'urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

[foxes-that-run]

What are your thoughts on haylor meeting up in late 2016? Do you think there was a slight chance of them getting back together, and do you think they would've made it if they did get back together? I know Taylor chose the safest option, but Harrry and her didn't even seem to talk things out, so why even meet in the first place? Didn't Taylor tell him she loves someone else, too? It's so confusing...

I think they did, there are enough crumbs to give it plausible and they both spent November and December in LA and London respectively. But this is in the same time the Joe stuff was starting so who knows.

This got long, sorry. The TLDNR is:

the canon is Taylor met Joe at the Met, dated Tom, broke up and in October 2016 went to Joe's premiere and started dating him. Although Joe was not in the same country as Taylor for most of that time. In May 2017 they went public and were seen 20 times before Reputation came out in November, it was super public.

An alternate timeline is that after Hendall and Hiddleswift both ended within a month and before Joe/Taylor and Harry/Tess Ward went public within a week the haylor sightings, being in the same city, songs, gifts, blind items, edited videos and friend comments were because they were secretly dating again.

because....

24 August - Hiddleswift over

22 September - Hendall break up again.

28 September - Taylor with Cara, Harry MIA, released Another Man covers/mixtape, Joe London.

October - Harry was in Jamaica recording HS1. Joe in London on 3rd. On 13th Joe and Taylor at Bowery enter separately. Joe is in NY for the Billy Lynn Long Halftime Walk promo tour so unlikely to have ample days ahead in NY given the films budget.

11 October - Taylor went to Joe's movie screening and the Rep book has a 19 November polaroid captioned "how would you feel about having a song written about you?"

3 November - Both are in LA for November with HS1 recorded.

25 November - Harry was seen in LA then disappeared for a week. Taylor posted a lot of photos of friendsgiving in RI. Joe not there. Taylor posted photos so would only show who was public.

28 November - is the first clue things may have been back on in a few months (apart from having both been in LA). Gemma (Harry's sister), Lou Teasdale (Harry's close friend & 1D stylist), Sam Campbell (Lou's sister and friend of Harry, married to one of Harry's friends too) go to Karaoke and post lyrics to WANGBT and Sam captions it "talk to my friends". 👀

Haylor Secrets posts that they are together, which.. that account may be totally fake, or making it up, but had been right about stuff

December - Both in London, IDWLF released, Taylor has a birthday party at her London House the Rep magazine photos are in, Harry MIA but in London. On 28 December there was an unconfirmed sighting of them together and Taylor gave Austin a record signed by friends of Harry's. He thanked them and the band commented that it was signed for 'a friends little brother' who turned out to be Taylor Swift.' Harry knew them for years and Sam Campbell commented 'LOL'

31 December - in 2020 7 photos of Taylor & Joe getting ready in her London house leaked with this date given. Why only 7? The date of the New Years Eve jumping into an icy pool story Taylor Nation edited out. If the story was about Joe why would it be edited out?

3 January 2017 - Lover journal that Taylor has been with someone for 3 months, no one has found out and she is living in London. It had been 3.1 months since the Hendall break up and 2.5 months since Joe got to NY. .....

7 January - Harry records Lately where he sings 'I don't believe what you're saying to me, "that I love him"'

13 January - Taylor records DWOHT and the IDWLF music video.

1 February - Harry's birthday, the rose ring appears. Taylor is in NY/Nashville, Harry NY/London and Joe in London.

April - Harry's Rolling Stone interview where he leaves the table when Taylor is brought up and says he wants to tip is hat to her about 1989, and give his whole cap to the muse of HS1, now over.

7 May - Harry seen with Tess Ward, the first time he has been seen with anyone since having dinner with Kendall in September.

16 May - a week later The Sun reports Joe and Taylor dating 'for months'. First time Taylor seen with anyone romantically since August

Even longer versions are in the 2016 and 2017 timelines.

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

Tess' Sharpuary - 28. Smirk (*)

Aesop finds his sweetheart made a little list about himm. About the various way he smirks at her, that is.

a/n: I *may* have cheated slightly with this one, as the list has existed for a few months at this point, but it is what it is 😅Also, the dressing table is my little nod towads the ruling queen of drawing backgrounds and victorian furniture in general, Cress ❤

chapter specific tags: 15+!, established relationship, sexual themes

relationships: aesop sharp x reader

28. Smirk (0.9k)

tw: sexual themes (mentioned heavily), age difference (reader is an adult)

In Aesop’s defence, the first thing on his mind as he approached his sweetheart’s open diary was to close it and put it back into one of the drawers of her dressing table where she usually kept it. It was not like the two of them kept any secrets from each other (apart from little romantic surprises and presents, of course), but reading a partner’s personal diary without their explicit consent was still a massive breach of privacy in Aesop’s opinion.

And yet, when he finally reached the open journal, he paused. He didn’t mean to peek, but found himself rather unable not to read on when he caught a glimpse of the title of her apparently most recent entry.

‘List of Aesop Sharp’s Smirks’

Under the title was indeed a list of ten points. The potions master’s hand twitched, but wouldn’t move to close the diary. His eyes read the first few points:

We're going to have ourselves a good night.

Come have some fun into my chambers.

He couldn’t stop his lips from forming into a small grin. He couldn’t deny it - he was growing very interested in the rest of the list. Maybe he could chance reading it quickly. It was innocent enough, a little list his sweetheart made for fun. He could beg for forgiveness later.

3. How would you feel about some less-than-innocent activity

4. I'm going to make your toes curl tonight.

Oh, alright! Now we’re getting to the more fun ones. He wondered whether he truly had ten ways of smirking at her when it came to the promise of a passion filled night (or day), and if so, how was she able to determine the meaning? He could admit that there was a way he smirked at her when he was in the mood for a more carnal kind of fun, but he had no idea his smirks had a scale!

5. You're going to moan my name like a prayer.

6. My back will bear the perfect imprints of your nails.

He bit his lower lip. He wouldn’t mind feeling the sting of her fingernails on his back again soon. Feeling them there, under his shirt, following his movements as he went about his day served as a sweet reminder, one that made a feeling of thrill course through his veins, even as he did completely mundane things, like hand out pop-quizzes. His back already bore small scars shaped like small crescent moons, and they were his pride and joy. Maybe he could try to replicate smirk number 6, soon...

7. You'll later be embarrassed from just how wanton your screams were.

8. You'll beg me to destroy you.

Wouldn’t be the first. With a smile, Aesop remembered the various nights during which she did beg him to go harder, faster, deeper, tears rolling out of her eyes. She was so beautiful when she submitted to him completely like this, when she let him manhandle her to his own pleasure, arching against him, clinging onto him for dear life. Of course, even when he did get rougher, he always made sure she reached the peak of her pleasure, preferably several times.

9. You won't be able to speak within the next 24 hours from how much I'll make you scream

Again, not the first. The potions master grinned smugly. Edging, and subsequent overstimulation made his sweetheart release cries that neither of them thought her capable of making. Aesop loved it, though, and he wanted to hear more. Poor darling, she nodded off in exhaustion right after he was finally done with her. Luckily, he always had some potion for a sore throat ready for her in the morning. Among other potions for different sore things. Occasionally for the two of them.

10. You're not leaving the bed for the following two days. Not that you'd be able to.

Hm… Well, he wasn’t aware of this smirk. That is, they did spend a lot of time in bed together, but two days straight? As proud as Aesop was of his stamina, he wasn’t sure he had enough of it for two days. Only one way to find out, he supposed.

“Ace?” came her voice from the door, and the potions master jumped in surprise. Panic filled him as he saw her standing at the door. However, instead of looking mad that he just read an entry in her diary, a small smile played upon her mouth. Nevertheless: “I-... I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop, but…” “It’s alright. There’s nothing secret in there. It’s just a little way to clear my head.” 

She walked towards him, and he silently handed her the journal. She chuckled as she realised what her sweetheart just read

“I was just wondering about number 10,” Aesop said carefully, still feeling slightly embarrassed for having been caught red-handed. “Oh, 10 hasn’t happened. Yet,” she said nonchalantly as she stored her diary away into the dressing table. “Any plans to make it happen?” he asked then, a sly smile finally coming back to his face.

She turned towards him, extending her hands for him to hold. He instantly took hold of them and pulled her closer: “Nothing set in stone, but I don’t doubt there will come a time. What else are honeymoons for?” Aesop laughed softly, before pressing a small kiss against her mouth. And then - he smirked.

“Ooh, trying number 5 on me, are we?” she teased, grinning back at him.

“What? This is number 6, loud and clear! I should know, it’s my own mouth!”

“It’s number 5, trust me. This is a scientific list, tested and confirmed, while it is your mouth, it is I who sees it.”

“Oh, just kiss me, you impossible woman.”

---

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed ❤

[AO3] - [Sharpuary 2024] - [Masterlist]

[cloudmail-bah]

hihi, could we request a peridot from steven universe if its not too much trouble? ^^

WE LOVE STEVEN UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!! i wasn't sure which version of peri to do so take before future peri >W<

☁️ Requested Package 📬 Peri !!

💌 headmates may not turn out exactly as the information below! that's perfectly fine, pick and choose what works💕

Names: Peridot, Peri, Piper, Gadget, Harper, Alien, Zelda, Nova, Tess, Piper, Qwerty

Pronouns: she/her, they/them, zi/zir, vey/vem, xe/xim, Ae/aer, tech/techs, cyber/cybers, code/codes, byte/bytes, key/board/keys/boards/keyboard, glitch/glitchs, zap/zaps, beep/beeps, boop/boops, science/sciences, ⚡️/⚡️s, 🔋/🔋s, 🛰️/🛰️s, 📡/📡s

Genders / Orientations: agender, cassgender, gemcatgender, alienic, crysgender, techoric, stargender, rainbowstaric, idfkgender / aroace, lesbian, queeromtonic, cupioquoiromantic, agnosexual, adventuromantic

Ages: 3,000 years old (bodily around 16-19 years old)

Species: Peridot, Gem (humanoid alien)

Roles: Academic, Influencer, Censor, Socializor, Dehumanization Holder, Autism Holder (if applicable)

Sources: Peridot from Steven Universe

Likes: technology, rain, studying, physiology, science, insects, gardening, plants, journaling, talking, hanging out, telling stories, writing / making ocs, fanfiction

Dislikes: storms, change in schedule

Personality: juvenile, intelligent, loud / bold, paranoid, curious, playful

Faceclaims:

Extra: definitely loves frogs! favourite colour is #96cb19!!!

Sign offs / Emojis: ⚡️, 📡, 👽, 🔋, 🎃