#terrible influence tour manchester

[you-go-too-slow-for-me]

Anyone else going to the Dan and Phil Terrible Influence show in Manchester?

Thinking of setting up a group chat and we can all meet up at the show 😊

I'm going solo so it would be nice to have other people to get excited about it with

[niamhthefae]

GUYS I MIGHT BE GETING TIT TICKETS AAAAHHHHHHHHH

update: I GOT TICKETS

[terribleinfluence-tickets]

Hi! I have a ticket for Manchester on Phil’s birthday and Birmingham on 13th January for sale - ideally for face value but I can negotiate a little on price. Please drop me a dm if you’re interested 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Tickets for Manchester and Birmingham here!!

[dansevilpianotea]

i hope they do multiple shows in scotland like they did for ii (saves me money for hotels and also they really should do more than one show here,,, like if london gets multiple then we should do)

[rodeo-wrangler]

if you’re going to TiT manchester night 2 (jan 30th) and would like a print of this piece i’ll be bringing some to give away!! pls like or reblog if this is something people would care about and i’ll be sure to print some cool bits with me

❄️the ice that binds him❄️

✨the glittering spirits that feed him✨

6️⃣the sigil of his house6️⃣

🩸the vermillion that will set him free🩸

i loved making the first stained glass window so this time i made on based on the danandphilcrafts series!

[blossoms-phan]

i know that I know and you know and we know that I know that you know that we all know but is anyone else dealing with remembering the fact that this is dan and phil. the same dan and phil from pre 2009 as little boys as chronically online as you could be in that era. to the dnp that met each other and got on amazingly in person and shared all the same interests and decided then and there they were gonna be intertwined for the rest of their lives the same dnp that moved into that flat in manchester the same dnp that were normal young adults that went to uni and were maybe a little lost about their futures the same dnp that were just tiny nerds but people liked them being themselves enough to host a radio show the same dnp that moved to the big city with no money just each other and a dream the same dnp that built a media empire through merch and books and tours but always doing everything for their audience and wanting to cement this crazy thing they’d built in history the same dnp that were maybe struggling on the inside but still committed to giving us the people what we wanted the same dnp that took time to themselves to learn who they were outside of the internet but always chose each other over and over again the same dnp that committed to a lifelong home together the same dnp that wanted to do another one of these tours and decided to come back to the gaming channel for the love and whimsy of it the dnp of today who are so lovely and special and cute as a matching pair of buttons maybe a little freaky but ultimately doing whatever the hell they want and putting so much love into it and at the end of the day it all comes back to their story. without the internet they never would have met. dan and phil against the world. even if that’s not the name of this tour and they’re terrible but also wonderful influences it’s always gonna be just the two of them

[10yearsofdnp]

what is the december anniversary theory? i was really confused when they said december in the show

you've come to the right place, friend! the december anniversary theory basically says that dan and phil consider their official anniversary as a couple to be in december, specifically the first week of december since that was when dan spent an entire week at phil's house in 2009 and they were both extremely sappy that week (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) and for the rest of the month (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x).

my personal theory behind this is that throughout october and november 2009, they were still feeling each other out and experimenting with other people since they weren't sure if they'd even work out as a couple. also it's important to note that dan was in the process of breaking up with his high school girlfriend when he met phil. and even though it seems like he wasn't very attached to her by then, that's still a tricky situation to go through, especially as an 18 year old. so my guess is that dan and his ex broke up around the end of october, right after he met phil. and after that, dan took some time to experiment with the old school youtuber crowd while he and phil slowly started chatting more and building the connection dan talks about in basically i'm gay. i'm guessing that dan and phil officially became exclusive when dan bought the train tickets to spend a week with phil, since that's quite a commitment. either then or when he arrived in manchester for the week or somewhere between then.

and THEN phil blew us all out of the water yesterday at the first terrible influence show when he said "it'll be 15 years of dan and phil in december." verrrrry interesting that he said december instead of october and didn't backtrack! also some very astute phannies have pointed out that they have that entire week off of touring this year, sooooo...!

btw, if you scroll through the y:2009 tag on this blog, you'll see all their posts from 2009, starting with the end of december! so if you want the full picture of their relationship timeline, i'd highly recommend starting there! have fuuuun! ☺️❤️

i personally love this theory since i feel like it explains so much about their early relationship, plus there was a definite shift in their interactions around the end of november/beginning of december 2009. it gives me hope that things could work out for us and our crushes too, you know?

[doverchivost]

Selling my tickets for #TIT

There’s even a golden one 😭

The other day I’ve received a devastating letter stating that my UK visa application got rejected:

The sole purpose of this trip was to attend D&P’s TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR

And as I won’t be able to come and tickets seem to be non-refundable, I hope there are people who’d like to buy them:

London, 26 Jan, 7:00 PM, 1 GOLDEN: Stalls A8 ⭐️ - 178£

Brighton, 19 Jan, 8:00 PM, 2 tickets: Stalls (Centre) C 57,58 - 72£

Manchester, 30 Jan, 7:00 PM, 2 tickets: Circle D 18,19 or 19,20 - 104£

TOTAL: 354£

#DANANDPHIL #terribleinfluencetour

@danielhowell @amazingphil

[goldenpinof]

a list of Terrible Influence Tour shows (24.06.2024)

Europe (September 2024):

Antwerp, Belgium

Copenhagen, Denmark

Berlin, Germany

Warsaw, Poland

Frankfurt, Germany

Stockholm, Sweden

Oslo, Norway

Helsinki, Finland

USA/Canada (October-November 2024):

Seattle, Washington

Portland, Oregon

Vancouver, Canada

Oakland, California

Phoenix, Arizona

San Diego, California

Los Angeles, California

Salt Lake City, Utah

Denver, Colorado

Kansas City, Missouri

Grand Prairie, Texas*

Austin, Texas

St. Louis, Missouri

Detroit, Michigan

Akron, Ohio

Indianapolis, Indiana

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Chicago, Illinois

Toronto, Canada

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

New York City, New York

Tysons, Virginia*

Atlanta, Georgia

Tampa, Florida

Orlando, Florida

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Durham, North Carolina

Nashville, Tennessee

Boston, Massachusetts

Reading, Pennsylvania

Red Bank, New Jersey

*Grand Prairie - near Dallas, Tysons - near Washington DC

Australia/New Zealand (December 2024):

Brisbane, Australia

Sydney, Australia

Sydney, Australia

Perth, Australia

Melbourne, Australia

Adelaide, Australia

Auckland, New Zealand

UK + Europe (January-February 2025):

Cardiff, UK

Plymouth, UK

Brighton, UK

Birmingham, UK

London, UK

London, UK

Manchester, UK

Newcastle, UK

Dublin, Ireland

Belfast, UK

Glasgow, UK

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Reykjavík, Iceland

60 shows, 58 cities

[pseudophan]

soooo how many times have you seen them irl then

simultaneously so excited to answer this yet aware it makes me sound extremely annoying i'm sorry i will be checking my phannie privilege

uhh both of them nine times, just dan five, just phil once. or both ten and just dan four if you count seeing phil in the audience at london wad lmao

full list in chronological order: summer in the city 2015 (when they got their silver play button for danandphilcrafts lmfao), dapgoose london (you can see me in the recording in like the upper corner of the audience looking so bored, i swear i was actually having the time of my life), the boncas (i definitely never mention this one..), interactive introverts brighton, milton keynes, london and manchester (anyone remember when i sat right next to phil's mum throughout all of ii manchester what the fuck was that about), dan at london pride 2019 (surreal experience), phil at that random dog show/convention he attended (i told him i'd just dropped out of uni and he said aw thats great and then almost walked directly into me later as i was minding my business having no idea he was there), we're all doomed london and oslo and then both of the extra london wad shows he did back in february for the recording and lastly terrible influence antwerp and oslo

i also narrowly avoided them at a muse concert once when it turned out they'd been sitting in our section or the section right next to ours the entire time and we had no idea, though the worst almost encounter was pj's space trip tour (amazing show btw) because that room was SO SMALL and while dnp arrived after it started and left before it ended to avoid being spotted the knowledge that they were sat so ridiculously close to us the entire show haunts me to this day

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

Spoilers for DnP Incohearent!!!!

I’m having so much fun trying to solve these that I made a list to keep track! Message if you can help me fill in any I’m missing or if I’ve got any wrong!!!

Also lmk if you see any I’ve missed!! I’m going to keep updating this and have it unrebloggable but you can reblog this post to have a link to it!

These are all gathered from this post and this post so check the notes on those first to try to solve them then look here if you need answers!

Sow march cheer ray = so much cherry

Wee nay urn for uke oye yer tub = we’ve never fucked on youtube?

Ta fold in fig = the golden pig

Feed hay hid eho = vday video

Tat he won ape hit morse him he = daddy want a bit more simmy

Watt ken ice hay = what can I say

North key bus teabag king = naughty busty baking

Fool tie enter nit hobo / fall tie mint her nepo moe / fault aye mint earn are ohm owe/ foul thyme inch hermit hole mold = full time internet homo

Cumin mile aid deed or = come in my ladydoor

Hum hay zinc tan = amazingdan

Elven ower fug sedge own = eleven hour fuck session

An berry moth ribeye adam stir = and every month we buy a hamster

March rest array = Manchester eye

Cyst herding yell = sister daniel

Add a ding teps = editing tips

Cop dubai khaki luna = topped by kakuna

Late eat tore = ladydoor

Half tugger etch two eggs cyst = have the courage to exist

Perish she end wink = Parisian twink

Coal ten big/ goal then pick = golden pig

Cyst ordain yell = sister daniel

Train youth inks = try new things

Gay mean moss/ gain ink mass = gamingmas

Soften need = soft and neat

A wools lied = owl slide

Topper bought them hill = top or bottom Phil

Coat fit firenze = golf with friends???

Few ours pig meow fits = viewers pick my outfits

Read less tar = red lester

Eye eight soup igloo = I ate super glue

Insight youth era too walls = inside you there are two wolves

Mine amy stan = my name is Dan

Clap hella = glabella

Hiss teeth rent = hits different

Eel eyes apron kay kiss = Eliza pancakes

See pram haze ink bra jet = super amazing project

Feels lie yawn = phils lion

Fuel ease snot dawn fair = Phil is not on fire

Jaw shush ear son = josh hutcherson

Ball bull him tour food = bauble in your foot?

Sure eck = shrek

High ate dust = hiatus

Add a dink deps = editing tips

Ga hay shoom air age = gay shoe marriage

Pope eat plate aim = poppy playtime

Eat aches stu = it takes two

Goo gal few ed = google feud

Baze ick lee eye meg ay = basically I’m gay

Ko min yout ti ew = coming out to you

Ender knit subvert grew oop = internet support group

Phylis turn yar a sheen yes = PHIL LESTER YOU’RE A GENIUS

With Audi intern yet wean ed brr wood halve mat = without the internet we never would have met

Gum ban yins drool I’ve = companions through life

Reed sons wide answer flail = reasons why dans a fail

Ewan dam ah some are reed = you and Dan are so married

Denver sis fill/ Denver cis full = Dan vs Phil

Or lawn huffing = all or nothing

Dunk rye core raft = don’t cry craft

Mortal jester roam and thick/ Morph adjust row antic = more than just romantic

So wall how debris poll light = swallow to be polite???

Oar hinge art = orange heart

Foray virgo em = forever home

Chai reel loop/ share real oob = cherry lube

Cad boyd anne = cat boy dan

Far turf ill lip = father philip

Tess lit hen ink = the slittening

Forth house indie rolled or touches = four thousand year old tortoises

Hey moth swish roundup floating = a month without uploading

Jam march let pet tea an farms = Je mange les petit enfants

Day lion howl tour = Dalien Howlter

Ima let all kit = I’m a little kit

Feel pearl lays shell ter = Phil plays shelter

Fewer blue key app ending = viewer spooky happenings

Hell low iam tour reel = hello I am Toriel

Laugh tuh gey mile kuh = left to get milk

Villas eek wreck why vuh = Phil’s secret wife

Footy strain gin said dent = ___ strange incident????

Snow core play sum = snokoplasm

Nope puts cereal sleeping mage innit = no but seriously imagine it

Tear rip pulling flu hence = terrible influence

Jeff why eye aisle hike vague liner = fyi I like vagina

Eggs intense all cry cis = existential crisis

List of contributors

@fletthewreck @dandp @deadandphilgames @manchesterau @thephouseplants @awrfhi @jonsaremembers @rachosaurusrex @dapgolf @dan-whoell @dnphobe @dreamingalto @steveandscraggy @phanbeats @danandfuckingjonlmao @pepper-pastry @yonpote @un-interactive-introvert @spaniel-trowel @sisterdanieldyke @queerdnp @morganadelacour @amid-fandoms @spectral-kitkat @goingpheral @angelzonearth @wdapteo @2009phan @dansevilpianotea

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fic Titles Based On Common Sayings (2) Masterlist

part one

A Leap in the Dark (ao3) - Bleeding Phass Incident (doctorwhat420)

Summary: Dan’s fingers brushed Lester’s face on the screen. Cold, plastic, hard… Yeah, it was probably just like the real deal.

a night to remember (ao3) - grievingwarwidow

Summary: roxie, who prefers the label exotic performer over stripper, is a star amongst people who are out when the sun goes down. who better for a close-minded phil who has despised what he labels as lowlifes to suddenly obsess over than Roxie himself?

aka the one where phil gets pathetically hung up on dan, better known as roxie and is desperate to get to know him better.

cat got your tongue? (ao3) - megiaolf

Summary: A near wholesome cat cafe au.

(TW) Catch You on the Flipside (ao3) - Amorist (dead_on_the_inside)

Summary: Dan is holding himself together by the seams after running away from a religious cult. He has to ask himself why he keeps going, but deep down, he knows the answer already. It's the same answer it was long before his parents packed up and moved him to a thinly-veiled conversion camp in America—Phil.

Or, my excuse to write self-indulgent angst, because sometimes we need that.

Come Clean (ao3) - castrotophic

Summary: Dan thinks Phil might be in love with him, but he's not quite sure how to figure it out.

Communication Is Key (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: In which au Dan and Phil are friends with benefits despite the fact that neither of them want to be friends with benefits and Dan just sucks at talking about his feelings

connected at the hip (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Are Dan and Phil connected?

Falling for you (ao3) - dnpangels

Summary: Dan and Phil are cuddling in Phil's tour bus bunk. When Dan slips and falls out of the bunk, he wakes up the entire tour crew. Fluff and teasing from the crew ensues.

heart skipped a beat (ao3) - dontcrydraft

Summary: Dan and Phil have a day to spare in Stockholm - cue the seals and the meese, it's time to go to the zoo!

Just A Scrape (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: Phil falls off stage at the Terrible Influence Tour and minorly injures his leg. It should feel like nothing, but after the long string of medical emergencies that he's suffered, Dan can't help but panic.

Lost In Thought (ao3) - microwaveoven

Summary: Based on that one part in pizza mukbang 2 where DNP talk about why the hiatus started and how Phil felt lost for a while

Made for Each Other (ao3) - BREAD2000yeet

Summary: Dan and Phil 2009 Halloween YouTube meetup but it's insanely sweet. Based off some of the videos other people uploaded of them standing off alone during it. More emo boys kissing vibes.

make it work (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: dan is on vacation at the bahamas, where he meets phil - someone who's in the same rut as him. they connect and swoon over how compatible they both are but realise they only have a limited amount of time to spare together.

Making the cut (ao3) - philsbignaturals

Summary: In which Dan is a single-dad lawyer and Phil is his barber.

marriage is just a piece of paper (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: In the middle of the night in Manchester sometime in 2011, two young men get engaged.

On Top of the World (ao3) - dnpangels

Summary: Dan Howell is known at Cedar Creek High School for being the star quarterback and for having dated every girl in the junior year. Phil Lester is known for almost always getting the lead in the school play and being a straight-A student. Dan is popular in the stereotypical way, while Phil is popular within the groups that he chooses to be a part of. Another thing that almost everyone knows is that Dan and Phil are definitely not friends.

An AU in which Dan is the school's quarterback, and Phil is a theater kid.

one & only (ao3) - daliddl

Summary: Dan just finished his very last We‘re All Doomed show in London and a certain unexpected guest is waiting for him in the dressing room.

One and Only (ao3) - clcprint

Summary: dan meets a new phil and his phil gets jealous.

or

phil loses the idgaf war

One of Those Days (ao3) - cats_with_no_tails

Summary: Based on the anecdote from Dan’s birthday stream that Phil dropped his ice cream and cried, featuring Autistic Phil + Dan comforting him during a meltdown.

out of the blue (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: “Did you know my first word was ‘light’?” Phil asks. His pale skin reflects the blue so strongly he may as well be glowing too.

Dan smiles. “Explains a lot.”

Risk and Reward (ao3) - domisnotonfire

Summary: This work is inspired by Appetite & Defiance by jestbee and is supposed to be a continuation of that series, read that first or this one won't make sense. All credits for the idea of this fic and any original characters goes to them.

Side By Side (ao3) - SpiritsDJH

Summary: Dan and Phil, reeling in all the feelings of tour, and finally being able tour the world together again.

take on the world (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: just some soft, post-show intimacy <3

that's what friends are for (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Long before Dan Howell was a rock god, he was in a band.

The Dance That We Do (ao3) - husbants

Summary: Prince Daniel of Howellot and Prince Philip of Lesterall share an evening together at the summer ball. Unbeknownst to them, this night will change the trajectory of their lives forever.

the man of my dreams (ao3) - mel_m_a_o

Summary: He first dreamed about this man maybe two months ago. The dream wasn’t really something out of the ordinary and Dan didn’t really remember what it was about, but it stuck out to him, because he wasn’t usually someone who remembered his dreams. He often thought he just doesn’t dream at all, but that certainly changed. He keeps dreaming about the same pale, black haired man and his bright eyes that make Dan wake up in a sweat. He starts to see the face everywhere all the time until he actually does.

Time and Time Again (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: Have you ever met someone for the first time, and felt at ease immediately? When you looked into their eyes, you saw a movie of your lives together, and when you shook hands, warmth surrounded you. A strange form of recognition, though you had never met them before.

Sometimes, when you meet someone new, it’s less of a “nice to meet you.” and more of a “glad to see you again!” Soulmates, some people call them. Two halves of one soul, torn apart only to meet again. Kindred spirits, others call it—two separate souls who have known each other for many lifetimes. No matter what you might call it, that recognition is there.

When Dan Howell saw his first AmazingPhil video, he felt a longing that was like nothing he had dealt with before. He needed to know this human as well as he knew himself. Though he hadn’t met the other man yet, he knew that they were destined to be friends, lovers or 4000-year-old tortoises together. How many lifetimes had they already shared?

Time is on our side (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: In 2010, AmazingPhil decided to make a video trying to time travel. He ends up meeting his boyfriend Dan in the year 2023 as well as himself, and he has a lot of questions.

'tis the damn season (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan is the coffee shop regular at the shop Phil just started working at. Phil quickly learns that Dan is a bit of a Grinch who refuses to try the shops' holiday drinks, or anything new really. Phil's determined to change Dan's mind about the holiday drinks.

Viva Las Vegas (ao3) - evermorepeyton

Summary: Dan and Phil go to Las Vegas on October 19th. For what? Honestly, who knows? But maybe we should all seriously imagine it anyway.

[phregnancy]

It’s the UK leg of the terrible influence tour, Manchester night. Tensions are high. What will happen? This is the night people have been waiting for for months, what will they do? Phil walks on stage for the preshow. He’s wearing a Victoria’s Secret babydoll in varying shades of baby blue and light pink. His stomach looks rounder than normal, prompting audience members to gasp and raise their eyebrows. Maybe he indulged too heavily in his coworker’s cummies the night before, leading to heavy distention- this certainly wasn’t expected. Phil says he feels a bit of incontinence as the preshow ends. During the show, his babydoll lifts up during the boxing scene, right above his silicone set of abs- the babydoll tears off (sticking to the silicon) before blowing away. Shock- Phil’s huge titties are now on display, and lactating everywhere on that note. Dan growls, grabbing a titty and twisting to prevent the milk from coming out “that is only for little defanny jr you slut.” The crowd gasps “marital abuse” but obviously didn’t hear the profanities. They are concerned about Phil’s twin pus-filled chest tumors. “Get him to a hospital” a lesbian calls, concerned for the small white dog on stage. Phil collapses, his legs spreading!!!! He has on another babydoll but it’s kind of tiny around his feminine hairless twink legs. His pussy glistens and he says Daniel please my twink cunt is very birthing. Dan says shit! Fuck baby!! Not now not during the Terrible Influence Tour (Manchester Night 1) you CANNOT give birth right now your beautiful pussy will rip and then what. And Phil whines and water spurts everywhere so Dan thinks that it’s good enough so he dresses back up as sister Daniel and does role model or no model. Because Phil’s birthing Pussy is basically a water gun. And Phil cries as he Gives birth and Dan runs over, “Please don’t give birth baby. Not my twink baby baker. You can’t. You’re asexual.” And then the pheal pops out and Phil says “this is just like pound puppies or those other dog toys (kid toys shaped like dogs not toys intended to be used for dogs) that gave birth and probably gave me a weird fixation on pregnancy as a young Boy,” and Dan says You’re not a boy You’re a Twink Philip. How many pets has your family had?”

everybody’s so creative

[unholytriumph]

a decade under the influence

I prepared an entire post about my past decade, then I remembered nobody would remotely care about it. so here’s a quick summary instead.

things can be divided in two halves: 2010 - 2014 / 2015 - 2019.

2010 - 2014

heartbreak, which eventually led to my terrible mental health.

gaining weight after high-school.

attempting to go to college, but failing. trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. plan things, but not follow through on them.

doing anything to find work and still getting rejected for even the most stupid jobs.

learning to do things on my own, instead of always depending on others and potentially missing out on stuff.

2013 marks a turning point when I purchased my first bike. both a blessing for my physical and mental health, I originally bought it to commute.

2015 - 2019

riding almost 4000km on my bike over a year. doing a 100km ride. taking things more seriously. purchasing my first real bike.

four years after quitting college I finally get hired somewhere. it’s a dead-end job that I loathe, but at least I can pay the bills.

start traveling. going to shows by yourself is one thing, going to a foreign country by yourself a whole other thing. I can be an anxious mess back home, but on holiday I’m the most relaxed person you’ll meet.

been to a handful places already, but none are as special to me as Bologna is. been there twice already, simply love it there.

attending major sporting events: Tour de France in Antwerp, La Grande Partenza for the Giro d’Italia in Bologna, Bologna - Parma / Manchester City - Liverpool / AS Roma - Napoli.

getting fired from my job, and after unsuccessfully applying there close to ten time finally being hired by H&M. I’ve been working there for almost 2 years now and I enjoy it so much.

last but not least. right before the end of the decade, right before turning 29, I moved my own apartment. been thinking about it for a couple of years, but I felt now was a good time to take the step.

[kalluun-patangaroa]

An Audience With… Brett Anderson

UNCUT Magazine

December 2010

Interview: John Lewis

Brett Anderson has some fans in odd places. This month, Uncut’s email boxes are positively heaving with questions from adoring fans in Peru, Serbia, Japan, New Zealand, Belgium, South Africa, Slovenia and Russia. “I’m quite popular in odd places,” he says. “Suede had No 1s in Chile and Finland. We were massive in Denmark. If asked why Denmark, my stock answer was that, well, I’m a depressed sex maniac and so are most Scandinavians. We toured China long before most Western pop groups. I remember playing Beijing, to a crowd divided by armed soldiers facing the audience. That was pretty scary.” Anderson is currently back in the Far East, speaking to Uncut as he overlooks Kowloon Harbour, preparing for solo dates. Later in the year he’ll be in London for a big O2 show with Suede (sans original guitarist Bernard Butler, although the two remain good friends). “I wanted to check out what the stage was like at the O2 Arena,” he says. “So I went to see The Moody Blues with my father-in-law. Come on, you can’t argue with ‘Nights In White Satin’. What a tune!”

I presume you’re aware of the ‘reallybanderson’ Twitter account purporting to be by you. Amused or offended? Helen, Birmingham

Twitter is one of those strange things, like Facebook, that I don’t have anything to do with. But I have to grudgingly admit that the reallybanderson Twitter updates are rather funny [starts giggling]. And the guy doing it is obviously a bit of a Suede fan, because there are some very detailed references to b-sides and bla-di-blah. I can’t exactly complain about it without coming across as a real tit. It’s just fun and no-one really thinks it’s me, it’s a cartoon version of me reflected through some fairground mirror. I don’t think anyone reads it and thinks, ‘Oh, Brett Anderson has Jas Mann from Babylon Zoo doing his washing up, or Brett punched Damon in the street.’ It is, ha ha ha, quite witty. Having shown them the picture inside the Best Of Suede CD, my kids would like to know why you refused to feed me for five years? Also – can my mum have her top back? And are you around for a trip to the Imperial War Museum? Bernard Butler

Yes, what most fans don’t realise is that we kept Bernard in a cage for five years, and fed him edamame beans and tap water. Regarding his mum’s top – he should know that it’s long been ripped up and destroyed by the front row of the Southampton Joiners, or somesuch venue. Now, the Imperial War Museum – me and Bernard were talking about getting older the other day and he said: “Are you finding yourself increasingly interested in British military history?” And I have become oddly fascinated with watching WWI docs on YouTube. It’s not just the personal tragedies, but the sense of it being a shocking transition point between the Victorian world and modernity. The idea that they were going into war on horseback, and by the end of it they were in tanks. Blimey. So tell Bernard I will be going to the museum, soon… What’s your favourite Duffy song? Kris Smith, Wembley

I thought “Rockferry” was a very beautiful, stirring track. So that’s the only one I know well, but I’m really pleased for Bernard that that was a big success [Butler co-wrote and produced much of the album]. He’s an incredibly talented person and works incredibly hard, and he’s one of those people who is just obsessed with music. People like that deserve success. Did I ask him to join the Suede show at the O2? No. I told him about it, but he’s moved on so far from Suede that it would have been odd, and we’ve had a completely different lineup since he left. I don’t think he’d want to be jumping around a stage again! He’s much happier doing what he does now, I think he’s really found his calling. Do you still have your cat, Fluffington? Claire Vanderhoven, Holland

Unfortunately, he’s ascended to cat heaven. He had 15 long years of adoration. Am I getting another cat? Well, I recently got married, and my wife brought two Italian greyhounds with her. I don’t know if anyone is aware of them, but Italian greyhounds are like little cats. Ours are eight years old but look like miniature foxes, bonsai greyhounds. But incredibly fast, like little bullets. When they’re not running they spend their whole life under the duvet. Someone once told me they were bred by the Pharaohs as bedwarmers! Brett, do you have a copy of the single I recorded with Suede: “Art” b/w “Be My God”? If so, could I have one? Mike Joyce

Mike, I think I destroyed my copy years ago. I’m not one to keep memorabilia. They’re about 100 quid on eBay. Mike was an early member of Suede. We were advertising for a drummer and listed The Smiths as an influence. Then at an audition, their drummer pokes his head through the door and says, “Hello, lads!” Ha! It was a bit Jim’ll Fix It. I don’t think anyone thought it was going to last, Mike was far too big a name for us. But he just took us under his wing, guided us through the industry, and was so charming. I still keep in contact with him. What’s the weirdest story you’ve heard about yourself? Badabingbadaboom

Someone once told me that they’d heard a story about me wanting to shit in someone’s mouth. But I also heard the same story about David Byrne, so I think it’s one of those urban myths that gets transferred from one slightly kooky pop star to another. That’s probably the most unsavoury thing I’ve heard about myself. Maybe I should give it a go. Which actors would you like to play the lead members of Suede in a biopic? James Kumar, Manchester

This is the kind of thing we talk about on tour. Matt Osman is convinced I should be played by Peter Egan, who was in Ever Decreasing Circles. I think Nic Cage should play Matt. Arsène Wenger reminds me of Bernard. That’s what Bernard will look like when he’s 60. Billy Idol could play Simon Gilbert, couldn’t he? Would you ever consider working in musical theatre? Neil Tennant

It’s funny he should ask that, because only the other day, I was listening to the album Neil and Chris did with Liza Minnelli in the late ’80s. Results, I think it’s called, with “Losing My Mind”. That sounded great, so emotive, and real. I’m a big fan of the Pet Shop Boys, they’re one of those amazing bands that almost created their own genre. But anyway, musical theatre. Yeah, I think I would. Sondheim? Rodgers and Hart? Definitely. I’m always open to new ideas. Musical theatre sounds like it’s going to have camp undertones, but I’d love to do it in an interesting way. What’s the worst song you’ve ever written? Mark Catley, Christchurch, NZ

That’s a good question. I wrote lots of terrible songs that were never recorded in the early days. But there’s a song called “Duchess” – a B-side to something from the Head Music era [actually to 1997 single “Filmstar”] – which is pretty rubbish. I’ve often regretted the production on certain songs, like “Trash” and “Animal Nitrate”, even though they’ve been pretty good songs. But you can’t go messing around with things like that. You start to interfere with what people originally liked about it. I also think people like your mistakes, as they give your work humanity. I quite like that about Prince. He seems to throw stuff out – some of it genius, some unlistenable – but all quite honest. I respect that. Do you enjoy art? Excited about Gauguin at the Tate? Katarina Janoskova, London

Absolutely. I’m a big fan of Gauguin and the post-impressionists. My favourite visual artist, if I had to narrow it down to one, would be Manet, the pre-impressionist. Not Monet, who doesn’t do it for me. But Manet had this revolutionary technique of painting on black, which gives his pictures a real depth, there’s something very sumptuous about his paintings. And further back, the kind of medieval-style stuff like Holbein and Brueghel – they’re so well observed and so real. You look at these pictures of people who lived 500, 600 years ago, you can imagine them walking down Tottenham Court Road now, the same face, they’re so real. It’s a little window into the past. I’ve quite got into art recently. It’s all part of expanding yourself and your education, appreciation of beauty in life, innit? Now that you’re no longer coming to work in Bow, how are you coping without the salad pitta? Leo Abrahams, musician and producer

Ha ha! I’ve been working on an album with Leo, in his studio, and I have an unhealthy obsession with East London’s kebab shops. You don’t get many good kebab shops in west London. It reminds me of being a student. I’m surprised Leo’s got the time to email you questions! He’s far too busy producing Eno or Grace Jones or Florence & The Machine. He also does these bizarre things where he plays entirely improvised gigs, no rehearsals. And that inspired the latest solo LP I’ve done with him. It was based on improvs. Me, Leo, Seb Rochford on drums, and Leopold Ross on bass just jammed for days, cut up them up and improvised, and did overdubs. It’s a full-on rock record. I love Leo, he’s great. He never takes the easy option. He pushes you a bit, which can be terrifying. Can you give us not-so-slim-in-2010 Suede fans some health tips? Simon Quinton, Oxford

My wife is a naturopath – she’s conscious of what she eats, so we eat a lot of sushi and seeds. I’ve got into cycling recently, particularly living in London, through the parks and the backstreets. It makes you fall back in love with the city. I cycled to Bow the other day from my house in Notting Hill. So that’s staving off the fortysomething belly. I’m sure I’ll get it when I’m fiftysomething. I’m looking forward to that. What do you think of Gorillaz? Ruiz, São Paulo, Brazil

To be honest, I don’t know much about them. I like the drawings. I guess that’s a veiled question about my relationship with Damon? Well, we don’t have a relationship to talk about. We all have things that happened years ago, rivalries and so on, and people assume that they’re still on your radar and part of your life. It’s like some musical soap opera, often one that’s been fabricated, without much substance. I have different issues in my life now. Is the art of songwriting dead? If it isn’t, who is flying the torch? Paloma Faith

Oh, it’s not dead at all. I’m constantly inspired by new music. If you look on YouTube, there’s a clip of me singing Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful”. When you’re covering stuff it’s interesting to try things that are out of your genre, which gives it a frisson. So I always try songs that aren’t, you know, British indie, stuff like Blondie, or The Pretenders. That Christina Aguilera song is amazing. I try not to look at songs as the finished product, I look at it as the chords and the melody and the words, like sheet music to be interpreted. You’ve got to keep moving with your musical appreciation. I loved the last Horrors record, I liked The National, The Drums, These New Puritans, lots of stuff. I never listen to the records I grew up with. Why bother? It’s all in my head! Brett, you’re from Haywards Heath. What’s the deal with the swimming pool there? It’s deep in the middle, not at one end. What’s your take on that? And were you ever caught out by it? P Newman, Brighton

I don’t know what they’re referring to at all, but funnily enough my dad used to work there as a swimming pool attendant. And I don’t really know how he got the job because he couldn’t swim. It’s lucky there weren’t any accidents. Every Tuesday, we had to troop down to the local pool, and everybody would be pointing at my dad saying, “Oh look there’s your dad, he’s working as a pool attendant.” And I was hoping none of them would start drowning, ’cos my dad wouldn’t be much use. Still, this was the early ’80s, and I guess we all thought the world was going to end any second with a nuclear bomb. Ha ha.

[toyahinterviews]

BBC RADIO TEES, SOUNDS WITH BOB FISHER 17.1.2019

BOB FISHER: Toyah is on the line with me. How are you? TOYAH: Hi Bob! I'm really well. I can't wait to be at the Arc (1.2.2019, Stockton-on-Tees) BOB: Excellent! This is the first date of tour as well, isn't it? TOYAH: Yes. What happens in my year is about mid-November I stop singing and have vocal rest. It's just a really wise thing to do. Not very many singers get a change to have that break. It's not that I haven't been working – I've been flat out! But I've just not been singing BOB: I noticed that you've been in the studio this week because I follow you on Twitter. What are you working on? TOYAH: On the 5th of April I have a new album out. The fans will be familiar with about 50% of it because we play them in the set. The album is called "In The Court Of The Crimson Queen"

So we've been in the studio writing new singles because there is a single due out. I'm  putting new tracks on this particular new album. I can't tell you too much because some of it is press embargoed but there's lots of exiting things happening for the fans. New images, new songs and we're very proud of it BOB: I have to say congratulations on Celebrity Mastermind as well TOYAH: It was a miracle that night, wasn't it? (laughs) BOB: (laughs) And you stormed it! Questions on Boudica. Is she something of a specialist subject of yours? TOYAH: A huge subject for me. There's a movie in the pipeline that I'm really hoping will go into production very soon. I've been studying Boudica for a long time. As a child I was fascinated by her and she is mainly myth. The only writings about her that can be taken as historical fact were 50 years after she actually lived The reason the papers were written in Rome was because Nero, who was the Emperor at that particular time, he was cross-dressing and historians wanted to write about a woman and in Rome a powerful woman was an insult

They created Boudica as this warrior queen as an insult to Nero. And for me that is just fascinating because she did exist. She was a warrior queen in a society were it didn't matter if you were a man or a woman. If you were willing to fight then you could be a leader Whereas in Rome women couldn't be leaders at the time. So there is a lot of myth and legend built up around her. When Queen Elizabeth came to the throne the comparisons started again and you started to get Boudica in plays and in essays and in critiques

BOB: I'm intrigued by the forthcoming film. Are you involved with it at all? TOYAH: I am but I can't tell you any more! She is a big love of mine!      

BOB: Intriguing! I will pick up on Queen Elizabeth because I know you did the stage version of Derek Jarman's "Jubilee" (above) last year -

TOYAH: I loved it!

BOB: I bet! I did see your performance compared to Judi Dench's Queen Elizabeth, which I thought was intriguing. Was that a deliberate homage?

TOYAH: I hope positively compared! (they both laugh) I played Queen Elizabeth in "Jubilee" and it opened in Manchester about 14 months ago and then in London Hammersmith exactly a year ago. I loved the opportunity to play this woman, because, again, Elizabeth was beyond anything we could call femininity. She was highly educated, which people don't tend to realise about queens of that era

She was phenomenally intelligent. She spoke many languages, politically astute, she was terribly barbaric! And very clever in passing the blame to the men. She would have people killed and then put the onus on someone around her or nearby. She was quite phenomenal

BOB: And Derek Jarman himself must've been a huge influence on you because obviously you were in the original film production of "Jubilee"?

TOYAH: Yeah. Derek cast me as "Mad", a pyromaniac in the film version and it's a very kind of ramshackle film but it's utterly brilliant. It proves that you don't need polished edges for something to be watchable. It's not for everyone. It's a punk movie and it's a very violent movie and the stage play was very violent. But it did ask questions that I think theatre can ask. It can push out boundaries that sometimes only theatre can do. So it translated brilliantly on to the stage

BOB: I saw you as a teenager and it was life changing. Derek Jarman's films proved to me that you can make a film that just stands there as a piece of art. It's almost impressionistic

TOYAH: Derek was a collage maker. As an artist, on canvas, he was an collage artist and with film he was collage. But also I think Derek was very anti the beginning – middle – and end development within film and terribly anti commercialism. So his work is stand alone work

BOB: Can I ask about another film from that era? I know that the tour you're doing this year is marking the 40th anniversary of your first record deal and your first releases on a major record label. And I think you were making "Quadrophenia" at the time you signed the deal. Is that right?

TOYAH: That's true. And "Quadrophenia" is 40 years old this year as well. Yes, my very first album "Sheep Farming In Barnet"  is 40 years young. Even if I say so myself it's an utterly extraordinary album. I love performing the songs of it. They are high energy original soundscapes. They're very vital and they're full of lust for life    

On stage today, I'm sixty now, I absolutely adore performing them. "Waiting", "Neon Womb", "Danced", "Race Through Space". They are incredible songs! And again they don't tend to have an beginning, middle and an end! They're Impressionistic

My show with the band is going to be high energy and it has been forever and it will continue that way. We don't really seem to be settling down as far as energy goes. I think that particular album is very special

BOB: I've seen you wax lyrical about your song "Pop Star" as well, as one that you particularly enjoy performing?      

TOYAH: We've replaced "Pop Star" in the set this year with a song called  "Martian Cowboy", which is beautiful! We've only started performing it live for the first time in about 30 years last autumn (both laugh) Everyone's hair just stands on end. It's absolutely gorgeous BOB: Do you perform anything from "Prostitute" in the live set? TOYAH: No, we don't. It's just me and Steve Sidelnyc, who then went on to programme all of Madonna's albums. There's not the context yet to do that but it's a very good question. I will look into it because I think that would take the fans by surprise BOB: It's such an extraordinary album, honestly. I was listening to it again for the first time in a little while - TOYAH: How was it? BOB: It sounded great! It really did! It's an incredibly experimental album and it's a fascinating album. What prompted it? Did just feel you had to do something very bold and very different? TOYAH: I always have to walk away from the job I've just done. That's creatively, idea wise. I just have to walk away. I feel trapped. Which is why my career is so varied. And I think "Prostitute" came after doing "Minx". That was a signing to Portrait CBS, where I was being told to be everyone but me. I was being told to be like Pat Benatar ... I've got nothing against that but I am me. I'm not trying to be another person. I'm not an imitator       So I remember I'd just got married and the only question I was being asked was when was I going to start a family? Which was never the reason I got married and certainly never the reason I'm here on this planet. So it was an album that really came out of anger. It's a very expressive piece. It's the most critically acclaimed album I've ever done. Billboard gave it five stars and then claimed it was an antidote to Madonna - BOB: I saw that, yes! (laughs) TOYAH: I didn't make it to make enemies, I just made it because I felt powerless. So it's widely considered even today as a piece of genius. I'm not being modest here because your listeners will know I'm not the most successful female artist in the world but I am a persistent tenacious person. It's really nice to have people referring back to past album as pieces of genius BOB: Do you still feel that anger sometimes? TOYAH: I feel angry all the time - BOB: Do you? TOYAH: Well, I just think we look at gender rather than the person and we always compare artists to someone else. I don't think any artist out there is trying to be an impersonator of an other person. So I always feel anger but I always feel driven and I try to use it

For me I'd rather use it creatively writing a song than on forty digits in a tweet. I think you have to explore these feelings and develop them and then share them. And sometimes the results change people's lives and that's very important to me BOB: Is it instantly cathartic for you as well then? Can you write a song and think “that's it, it's down on paper now so I feel better about it” TOYAH: No – success is cathartic! (they both laugh) I'm always having to prove myself. With the new album there's a new song going on ... We finished it yesterday, it's being mixed and mastered tomorrow. That was a wonderful feeling of writing something that you like and a lot of people in my world have heard this song and they're just going “wow!” So that is a nice feeling BOB: So the album will be out in April?     

TOYAH:  The 5th of April

BOB: Fantastic. And the title "In The Court Of The Crimson Queen" is a little tip to one of your husband Robert Fripp's past incarnations. Did he offer a dry smile when the title was offered to him? TOYAH: There is a big surprise on the album - BOB: Is there? You're not going to tell me though, are you? TOYAH: He opens the album BOB: Oh, fantastic! TOYAH: And he's not wearing a guitar - BOB: (laughs) Rather like a prostitute! TOYAH: That's it. It's exactly that kind of part BOB: Excellent! It's been a pleasure to speak to you, Toyah. Thank you for doing this TOYAH: Thank you! And I can't wait to be at the Arc!