#teresa liveblogs billions

[neverheardnothing]

OH????? BEN KIM JUST STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF TO DOLLAR BILL. FUCK YEAH. YOU GO BEN KIM ILL KILL HIM FOR YOU JUST SAY THE WORD.

[neverheardnothing]

ill kill douglas mason with my own two hands.

douglas: *misgenders taylor at every opportunity*

douglas: but u know i care right?

me:

[neverheardnothing]

HELLO??????? BILLIONS 3X11 KOMPENSO???????

what the FUCK IS THIS???? IS THIS A REFERENCE TO THE SALT BAE MEME? WH A T

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INTENTIONAL. WHAT THE FUCK.

HELLO????? BRIAN KOPPELMAN AND DAVID LEVIEN???????? HELLO??????????????????? WHAT THE FUCK.

[neverheardnothing]

this is exactly how billions s1 e1-6 went

[neverheardnothing]

wendy after ben walked to that elevator probably:

[neverheardnothing]

dfsdf the fbi stalks taylor to a coffee shop and right before they order, bryan flexes on them by giving their full name, coffee order, and using the correct pronouns to the barista for them. 

[neverheardnothing]

IM SORRY I JUST NOTICED TAYLOR MADE BEN KIM START FUCKING CRYING DURING THEIR MEETINGS WITH AXE CAP EMPLOYEES. 

[neverheardnothing]

this is taylor’s signature and now im wondering if asia actually wrote it themselves. 

[neverheardnothing]

amount i care about/like billions characters as of the end of s1 (but also not without influence from what i know happens later on):

the financial side

bobby axelrod: 4/10 he does some nice things every once in a while but thats because you have to be up his goddamn ass. literally the only way this man knows how to show any “compassion” at all is money. axe i hate to break it to u but theres More To Life Than Money. he has three goddamn emotions: anger, dick measuring time, and money.

dollar bill: 2.5/10 gotta respect him in that scene where he fucks over both his families at the drop of a hat for axe, and the line about being able to afford a 3rd family is fucking hilarious.

wags: 1.5/10 eh hes around. body sushi was funny i guess. 

wendy rhoades: 5/10 would like her more but its tempered with the fact that i know how much she fucks over taylor later on. one of the most sympathetic mains so far. maggie siff is a good ass actor. her face as she realizes chuck stole info from her is Amazing. 

lara axelrod: 5/10 i dont like her but i like her as a character. trying to protect her family at all costs. trying to beat some goddamn senses into her piece of shit rich kids. 

donnie caan: 5/10 gotta also give him respect for spending his last months on earth just fuckin with a guy. i mean he wanted to see his family well off when he was gone which is reasonable.

dudley mafee: 7/10 give him a break. please,,,,,,, watching s1 has made me appreciate how much more love mafee gets at tmc later on. axe fires him to prove something to himself and minutes later is just like “aww man cmon u know u cant trust me when i do something like that” STOP FUCKIN WITH MAFEE DUDE. 

ben kim: 7/10 give him more scenes. the one where he comes into the bathroom jammin to some music is great. wags can fuck off with the sTeP tHe FuCk Up BeN kIm. stop being mean to my boy. hes trying his best and he deserves better than everyone else at axe cap.

that random woman june who tried to publish a chapter in her book Exposing Axe: 5/10 fucking get him!! but also she’s a rich bitch who had a meltdown about her son not getting into yale or whatever and was sad about having to sell her yacht.

the legal side

chuck rhoades: 4/10 he tries to be a good guy but hes a giant fuckin hypocrite. maybe dont be a goddamn lying snake liar for once in your life bud. ex: takes a peak at wendy’s confidential patient files to get info on something illegal axe did and totally fucks over wendy in the process. he does makes some pretty baller moves though, which is fun to watch go down. please stop showing me bdsm scenes with him. rooting for him over axe but really they both suck ass. 

bryan connerty: 6.5/10 he’s actually a decent guy, really honestly trying his best. tries not to be a goddamn hypocrite like chuck. maybe im biased because he was cool in daredevil but this guy is alright.

kate sacker: 6.5/10 i hope she becomes the president, i honestly kinda space out during the law scenes no matter what but from what i remember she seemed pretty decent.

ari spyros: -1000000/10 ill kill him with my own two hands. everything about him is so terrible.

still in school (?) but probably kicking ass

taylor mason: 1000000/10 come on show up. please i beg u. im DYING here. i need someone i care about to be on screen or else im just playing sudoku on my phone the entire eps.

winston <lastname>: 1000000/10 i know ur out here in the billions world just hanging around. at this point ur also prob in college but who knows. we certainly dont how old winston is or how long it is between s1 and s3 when he shows up. 

[neverheardnothing]

HE WON!!!!!!! HE MOTHERFUCKING WON!!!!!!!!!! HE’S A WINNER BECAUSE HE WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE MOTHERFUCKING WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i love WINston so much...........

[neverheardnothing]

i wasnt really on board with oscar/taylor until RIGHT NOW when they were both sitting in bed together, doing whatever on their laptops. taylor looks over at him and takes a bite of twizzler and smiles. that was so soft. im about to start crying.

[neverheardnothing]

oh man this episode of billions requires the brain of someone who has been paying WAY more attention than i have

[neverheardnothing]

found taylor’s reaction at the end of this clip to be very interesting. 

context: farpoint ceo (fictional elon musk) had his rocket explode with him inside it. taylor bet it would happen so they put axe cap in a position to profit if things went south. well, things did. they don’t feel good about it so they go talk to wendy. wendy has uh. some choice words. 

[neverheardnothing]

brazil: *gets fucked by a tsunami*

everyone at axe cap: okay how to spin this so we dont lose too much money

ben kim: uh.... is no one worried about the people...... u know....... in brazil???

[neverheardnothing]

i dont think ive seen this clip on youtube so im putting it on here for us to enjoy.

context for the clip: mafee (who foisted the assignment onto ben kim) has been assigned to prove that they should short this company because they need evidence so it doesnt look like insider trading (i mean it is, thats how they know in the first place) but the numbers dont support the move they want to make. he asks taylor to take a look at it because he doesnt know about the illegal stuff, he just thinks axe made a wrong call and doesnt want to be the one who brings it up because the last time he did something like this, he got fired. taylor takes a look at it and goes to have a Talk with axe.

[neverheardnothing]

me, after 3x10: :(

billions 3x11: kompenso

me: :)