#tequila is my favorite way to get drunk ngl

[weixuldo]

Tinder and Tequila

Linecook/Roommate! Anakin x F!Reader

a/n: ngl this really has nothing to do with linecook ani- it’s more just tinder shenanigans lol- there’s more abt the context of the universe in the notes at the end- also to the anon who asked abt not putting padme in fics…. don’t read this one lol (i have nothing against padme, she’s one of my fav characters) this one’s v long

NSFW mdni!

After a night out with some friends, you decide to swipe on tinder…what happens when you see your very attractive roommate pop up on the screen?

Warnings: gn!reader, cursing, banter, past relationships mentioned, female anatomy, hand job, oral sex (f!receiving), blow job

________________________

You turned the knob on your shared apartment open and thrusted the wooden door open. Good thing Anakin was staying at a friend’s because you were completely wasted from a night out with your friends. One too many shots of a particularly strong tequila. 

You giggled at yourself as you stumbled your way through the living room. You flopped onto the couch before pulling out your beloved phone so you could mindlessly scroll. 

Before long your inebriated brain started to wander.

It was definitely good that Anakin was gone, because if he were here… You may not have been able to contain yourself. 

You licked your plump lips as you eyed his door… What if he were home though?

You hoisted yourself up and creeped towards his shut door. He had a woven piece of decor on his door; he told you his mom had made it for him before she passed unexpectedly in his last year of school. 

Nosily, you knocked before prying the white door open. 

Nothing.

You exhaled a shaky breath, it would have been so embarrassing if he caught you sneaking. Though, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he wasn’t here to keep you company.

You headed back to your spot on the couch and pulled out your phone again. Time to play your favorite game- Tinder. 

You knew it was a toxic mentality to have a stream of people constantly at your fingertips; judging them off only a glimpse of who they were. But it was so amusing to quietly scroll through people who potentially wanted to take you out. 

The first few people were average; bad angles, boring bios, and conflicting views. 

Whatever. 

Soon you were getting bored with the whole thing and were about to log off when your heart stopped. 

Anakin, 24

9 miles away

Hobbies: cars, cooking, movies, nature, travel

His initial photo was an amazing pic of him at a rooftop bar in NYC from the trip you guys took with some friends. His black shirt was unbuttoned enough to see his strong chest and the sleeves were rolled to his elbows to show off his muscular arms. 

He knew he was fine. 

Your eye twitched- his hair fell perfectly in front of his angular face and his smile was simply radiant. 

God really had his favorites, huh?

You swiped through his pictures with laser focus; gym pic, him on the couch, him shirtless…. him with his damn backwards cap on, and finally one that you took of him sitting in your shop.

You were really conflicted, you wanted to swipe right, obviously- but what if he didn’t reciprocate? What if he thought it was weird?

And he's on tinder! He probably just wants a hook up.

You sighed and prepared to swipe left when another thought popped into your hazy mind. 

Maybe he “played'' tinder like you did? He’d never brought anyone back to the apartment… and his bio does suggest he would cook for you (something he would rather do in his own kitchen). 

Ya know what? If he asked- you could just say you thought it would be funny! Yea, sounded like a great idea to your stupid drunk brain. 

With a deep breath you swiped right. 

A subconscious part of your mind was praying for the screen to pause and “match” to light up your phone- but sadly that didn't happen… oh well, maybe he just hadn’t seen it yet? 

You sighed and headed off to shower and go to bed. 

________________________

Anakin sat on his friend Ahsoka's couch with a chilled beer in hand. It had been awhile since his whole friend group had had time for a night and he was excited to catch up with them all. 

The living room was lit up with a neon LED strip that Ahoska had gotten back in her party days. The den had one large sofa, a few bean bags, some fluffy chairs, and her flatscreen that was currently showcasing the ROKU city with her music playing in the background. 

On the couch sat Anakin, his closest friend Obi-Wan (or “Ben” for short), and his girlfriend Satine. Ahsoka sat on the beanbags with Cody as they shared his new bong. And on the chairs sat Rex and their other friend Padme. 

“So when are you gonna get cuffed Skyguy?” Ahsoka asked with a smile after taking a rip from the blue tinted device. 

Anakin took a swig from the bud light he had in his hand and sighed, “Ya’ know? I’m not quite sure myself, Snipps” he lamented. 

Obviously he knew he wanted to- and he knew with who. But how to get there was a puzzle he hadn't quite solved yet. 

Padme’s eyes darted towards Anakin as he spoke. Throughout highschool Padme and Anakin had been flirty but nothing much happened between the two- nothing serious at least.

A few make-outs here and there at house parties, that one time after senior prom, and a couple late night hook ups when she was back in town from school, but nothing really since she graduated.

Anakin knew she wasn’t for him but she didn’t seem to get the hint. 

There was absolutely nothing wrong with Padme, she was a lively woman but Anakin just wanted something else- Maybe it was because she always made him feel inadequate, dumb even.

He knew it wasn’t her fault, but she had gone to law school and he always felt lesser when she would talk to him. Everything about her spoke class and refinery and he was… well, he was him. 

He spent his younger years wondering what a relationship with her would be like but as he got older he realized he only fantasized about her status- not really her. And that was fucked up. 

Another factor that got her off of his mind was when you started coming into his restaurant- The first time you ordered your wild combo he just had to sneak out of the kitchen to see what kind of person ordered cinnamon instead of butter on their mashed potatoes. He never in a million years guessed such a beautiful person would be sitting at booth 5. 

And when he found out you were his new roommate- he completely stopped flirting with Padme, how could he when you were right there?

He remembered when you first started living with him, Padme had called drunkenly to come over; of course Anakin usually would have said yes but tonight you had invited him to watch your favorite movie with him and he couldn’t pass up an opportunity with you. 

“Well everyone seems to have someone, we need to get you cuffed!” Ahsoka laughed. 

“Yea, get my bro a partner” Cody joined in. 

“Doesn’t seem like Anakin’s really into anyone- maybe he wants it that way” Padme chimed in, playing with a strand of her brown hair. 

“I never said that,” Anakin responded quickly. 

“Well- do tell then Ani” Padme’s voice lilted with passive aggression. 

He absolutely hated when she used that tone. 

“Well honestly it’s none of your business M’lady” Anakin shot back using a nickname she hated. 

“You’re such a child Anakin” she rolled her eyes before taking a swig of her martini. 

“Nothing you haven’t said before,” he remarked under his breath. 

She was about to fire back when Ben spoke up, “Guys, let's take a step back- Anakin, how’s the new roommate? Well, I guess she isn’t that new anymore-how long has it been?”.

Padme leaned back and crossed her arms as Anakin began to answer. 

“Oh, um it’s been a little over three months?” he said, even though he knew exactly how long it had been- three months and eighteen days. 

“And how is it? Will we meet her sometime?” Satine chimed in with a smile.

Anakin felt his mood lighten once he got the chance to talk about you, “Oh, it’s been really nice- She works in the cafe near my restaurant so we always have good food around” he smiled, playing with the rim of his bottle. 

“Well now you really have to have us over,” Rex laughed. 

“Soon guys, just gotta clean up a bit”.

“But you guys get along?” Ahsoka asked, “because you're not the easiest guy to deal with in a small space” she laughed. 

“We get along just fine- She happens to enjoy my company” he boasted. 

“Sure” Padme scoffed.

Anakin tried to ignore her but she spoke up again.

“Well if she can deal with you, why don’t you try to date her?” Padme said, trying to provoke him. 

“Maybe I will” he snapped back, making Padme’s face go white. 

“Good luck- once she finds out what an immature asshole you are, she’l leave just like everyone else does” she huffed before excusing herself to the bathroom. 

She definitely had one too many drinks- she was getting emotional. 

Anakin was annoyed at Padme’s outburst, but he also felt bad- he knew she fell for him back in the day and she never really let go of it. But life changed and so did he- he hadn’t flirted with her in over a year so it wasn’t his fault if she was still hung up, he hadn’t led her on in the slightest. 

“I’m gonna go check on her- I’ll be right back” Satine said, excusing herself to tend to her very drunk friend. 

Anakin sighed.

_______________________

It was around two in the morning and everyone except Ahsoka, Ben, and Anakin had gone home. Ben offered to go home with Satine but she insisted she took Padme back to her apartment alone. 

Ahsoka had fallen asleep on her bean bags, Ben retired to the guest room and Anakin was lying on the couch; he was drowsy but not quite ready for bed.

With a belly full of warm alcohol he decided scrolling on Tinder might be fun. 

He tapped on the flame icon that was buried in the deepest depths of his phone and waited for the app to open. Anakin wasn’t a big fan of dating apps or social media in general, but every once in a while he logged on. Some people crave cigarettes when they drink- he liked to swipe on tinder. 

Most of the girls on there were people he’d never actually go out with or were bots. He yawned after he had swiped for a few minutes and got ready to log off for the night when he saw a familiar face…. You. 

There you were, in all your glory; a radiant smile plastered on your face as you ran a hand through your hair. 

Fuck. 

He physically sat up and brought the device closer to his face; he scanned every detail of your profile as if he had a test on it in the morning. 

He slowly tapped through your photos, lingering on each one longer than the last. Maker, how were you real?!

His heart raced as he analyzed a photo you took in your shared living room. What he wouldn’t give to be able to get pics like these directly from you. 

He saw your profile said “short-term fun, open to long-term”. Damn. 

But then the thought… you never brought anyone home and you rarely went out… so, you wouldn’t have time to see other people.

Maybe this was his chance. 

With a shaky finger he swiped right and held his phone close to his chest to conceal the screen (like a stupid lovesick teenager). 

He shut his eyes and slowly peeked them open to see the bright pink lettering flash across the screen “Match”.

No fucking way. 

No. FUCKING. Way.

He stared at the chat box and thought about what to say for what seemed like hours; he didn’t want to come on too strong but also didn’t want to be forgettable (he could never be forgettable). 

He decided to go with a sarcastic but teasing line. 

“Hey sweetheart, don’t see me enough at home? I know I’m irresistible, but if you wanted me that bad, you could've just asked”. 

And send. 

Anakin snapped off his phone quicker than he ever had and slumped back onto the couch- now he definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep. 

_______________________________________

You woke up with a big yawn accompanied by a long stretch. Last night was fun, but you did have things to do today. After a few minutes of lying around you finally hauled your ass up to start preppring for your closing shift. 

It probably wasn’t the best idea for you to have drank so much, since you had a terrible headache now… but at least you had fun last night.

After showering, getting dressed, and eating a light breakfast, it was already quarter after one and you were suposed to be at work by two. You threw on your jacket and rushed out the door. 

As you hurried to work you mentally checked off everything.

Brushed teeth? Check. 

Showered? Check.

Cleaned dishes in the sink? Check.

Turned off the toaster oven? Check.

Grabbed employee card for the bakery? Check. 

Seemed like everything was in line! 

But there was something you hadn’t checked, something sitting snugly in your back pocket, something in a little app with a red flame. 

A new message from Anakin. 

To be fair, you never took tinder seriously and never had notifications on so you wouldn’t have seen it. But also you were pretty drunk last night so there was a big possibility that you didn’t even remember seeing him. 

Either way, you would receive a pleasant surprise when you finally did open your app. 

_______________

Anakin’s heart raced as he reached your shared apartment- you never responded to his message. 

Was this going to be awkward now? Were you going to have an uncomfortable boundary talk with him? How would you react to seeing him? Had you even seen the message? What if you were making fun of him with your friends?!

He legitimately could not turn his brain off.

But regardless of his restless mind, he opened the door. 

Nothing.

Anakin leaned against the doorframe and sighed when he realized that you had work today. Good. He got to avoid you for a few more hours as he sat around overthinking everything-wonderful. 

Being the hyperfixating overthinker he was, Anakin couldn’t help but check your status on tinder every so often

His stomach dropped when he saw you were active five minutes ago…

You hadn’t responded to his message, not even a “like”.

Fuck. 

Anakin had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life; should he just delete the message?

On the other side of town you were closing the shop when you pulled out your phone to check the time just to see your phone was already unlocked and on the tinder home screen.

No way your ass was scrolling through matches. 

You closed the app with a laugh; it didn’t really matter who you matched with you never really did anything serious on tinder. 

You finished your tasks and finally headed to your car. Once you got in you pulled out your phone again to see what matches your butt chose. 

Once you opened the app you could tell it had been open in your pocket for a while with the amount of people you wouldn’t have chosen yourself.

You scrolled and deleted profiles you weren’t interested in when you came across…Anakin?

Holy shit, you did see him last night. 

Anakin: [New Message]

A tiny rectangle holding only his circular profile picture and his name indicated he had swiped right on you too… and sent a message. 

You audibly gasped as you scanned the notif- was this real?? 

“Hey sweetheart, don’t see me enough at home? I know I’m irresistible, but if you wanted me that bad, you could've just asked”.

Home?

Electricity coarse through your veins; you secretly loved when he would refer to your shared apartment as home, it implied the two of you shared the space in a more intimate way than it really was.

His text was purely Anakin, every word just carried his personality. You were still stunned you were even in this position; never would you have thought he was actually interested in you.

The message was sent early this morning- you had left him on delivered for hours… 

Before you could think of the implications you jumped to respond; you wanted him to know you were very interested. 

“Road goes both ways Skywalker, obviously u like what u see too haha- yk I’m just one wall away ;)”

And send. 

After you sent it your stomach dropped again once you realized… you just sent your crush (and roommate?!) basically an open invite to come into your room whenever. 

You sat in the parking lot behind your bakery for a good 15 more minutes before finally heading home. 

___________________________________

Anakin usually didn’t have tinder notifs on, but he put them on today just in case you replied. So when his phone dinged while he was in the middle of making spaghetti for dinner he dropped the noodles into the pot and ran to the small device. 

It was you.

“Road goes both ways Skywalker, obviously u like what u see too haha- yk I’m just one wall away ;)”

A large smile plastered itself on his face- he was worrying for nothing!

He laughed and set the phone back down; just wait til he told the guys at work tomorrow morning!

Sooner than he anticipated, he heard the familiar sound of your keys jingling to open the door- he debated opening the door for you to save the hassle, but he stopped himself because he was worried he’d come off too desperate if he did so (you woulda been just fine if he did). 

You opened the door and were met with the savory aroma of marinara sauce and boiling noodles. After breathing in the scent you sighed, “someone’s been busy today, huh?” you smiled. 

“Well when you leave me home all alone…” Anakin trailed off with a stupid grin. 

Maker, you loved that look.

“Someone has to be the breadwinner in this house” you joked before setting your bags down. 

“And speaking of bread… I brought this back today- guess great minds think alike” you winked holding up a baguette from the bakery. 

Anakin’s face lit up and he eagerly received the bread, “Great! I was actually going to have to disappoint you since we’re out of garlic bread, but now we can just make it”. 

You nodded and went back to your room to change. It was pretty hard not to squeal at every little thing Anakin said, but you thought you were holding your own pretty well too.

Unintentionally, you changed into a rather enticing outfit- it was just a white tank with a lace trim and some flannel shorts (well, they were rather short). 

Anakin’s eyes observed your figure as you pranced out of your room and into the kitchen. 

“Why so fancy Ani?” you teased, batting your lashes. 

Both of you knew there was an obvious elephant in the room but neither of you wanted to address it. 

“Just ‘cause I wanted to, don’t get too excited princess” he laughed making you roll your eyes. 

“I’d never get excited over you” 

He arched an inquisitive brow and turned towards you, “oh really? Then why’d you swipe on me?”. 

There it was. 

You felt your face heating up quickly. Fuck. 

“Why’d you swipe on me?” you retorted back. 

“Uh Uh” he scolded, shaking his head while slowly walking towards you. 

“We both know you swiped first” he said, closing the space between you quickly. 

“I-I thought-” you stuttered, trying to come up with a witty response. 

He shook his head with a smile, “No sense trying to come up with a lie, pretty girl- you can tell me”. 

His tone was playful yet commanding- you felt compelled to confess everything to him right then and there. The burn of his striking blue eyes seemed to cut through all of your defenses. 

“Because I wanted to,” you admitted. 

A smile spread across his face as he leaned in, impossibly closer to you. 

“atta girl”

His confidence gave you goosebumps and you felt yourself leaning in to graze his lips with yours when he backed away abruptly to stir his pot of noodles- right. 

This was Anakin Skywalker we were talking about- the annoyingly charming linecook who could get anyone he set his sights on.

Maybe your intuition was right, he was just a playboy- how could you have been so stupid to think he actually wanted you?

With shame, you retreated to the couch as he strained his noodles and finished dinner. 

Unbeknownst to you, Anakin actually chickened out. He cursed himself as he stirred his famous spaghetti sauce; he was so close… and he blew it. 

Your sweet perfume flooded his senses and suddenly all of his charm just vanished. He felt like the awkward teenager Ben had to introduce to people because he was too shy to speak for himself. 

So in his moment of panic he went back to something he was comfortable with- cooking. 

Once he was finished he made two plates: one for him and one for you. Gingerly, he walked towards the couch with the plates in hand. 

“Here ya go princess” he attempted to sound normal. 

You didn’t meet his gaze as you took the plate and mumbled a “thank you”. 

He couldn’t blame you; from your perspective it probably seemed like he had just been leading you on- that’s not how he wanted to make you feel…at all. 

He set his food on the coffee table next to yours and sat beside you with a heavy thud, making the cushions deposit you next to his side. You were about to move away when he lightly grabbed your upper arm. 

You met his gaze in surprise, “Anakin, what-”.

You were silenced by his lips crashing into yours; your hand quickly found its way into his sandy hair just as he gently held the side of your face. 

Synapses were firing and you felt warm. With an unspoken agreement, he laid you down on the couch and continued to passionately kiss up and down your neck. 

“Anakin-” you said breathlessly, “What has gotten into you?”

“Nothing that hasn’t already been there for weeks” he responded through sloppy kisses. 

His touch was somehow better than what you’d imagined all those lonely nights in your room. How was this real?

You sat up and placed a hand on his chest; he sat on his heels with a worried expression, “What’s wrong?” he asked (did he do something wrong?).

“Weeks?” you parroted back to him. 

He huffed out a laugh and relaxed his tense posture before tenderly holding your face in his strong hands. 

“Yes, weeks. Don’t you know you drive me absolutely insane?” he asked in a playful tone. 

You shook your head in confusion. A lopsided smile settled on his beautiful face before he drew you closer for a soft kiss. 

“I thought- I thought you swiped on me as a joke… I had no idea” you admitted. 

His blue eyes scanned your face before shaking his head lightly, “No, no I’ve wanted to do this since the day I met you ''. 

Your confused expression slowly turned into a full blown grin before you pushed him into a seated position and straddled his lap. 

“Good to know, ‘cause so have I”. 

He let out a soft groan before resting his large hands around the bottom of your waist, his fingers gripping onto your flesh. His eyes were completely focused on you- they were hungry.

As you straddled him you felt his hardening member against your aching core. You wanted nothing more than to rip off his pants.

Just as you had wrestled his tight shirt off, his phone began to buzz. He rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed “fuck” when he saw it was his work. 

“I’m sorry, I gotta answer this” he said picking up the phone. 

“No worries” you said with a mischievous smile. 

What were you up to?

He ignored your tone and answered the call; just as he pressed the device to his ear you unzipped his pants. His eyes widened once he realized what you were so smug about. 

You were looking up at him through batted lashes as you freed his aching cock from the constrains of his boxers.

He was big- bigger than you expected; you licked your lips in anticipation, hypnotizing him with your ambition. 

You there Skywalker?

Anakin blinked himself back into reality, “Y-yes sir, I’m here”. 

Sorry to have to ask, but two of the other cooks just called in sick and we have abunch of parties booked tonight…would there be any possible way you could come in tonight

Anakin groaned loudly as you took his large member into your mouth, he had to cover his mouth with his free hand as you skillfully bobbed up and down on his dick. 

Now, I know it’s your day off, but I can offer you double time if you can just cover this one shift

His employer had no idea his head cook was getting the best head of his life on the other side of the line. 

He stifled a moan as you applied pressure with your tounge, thankfully he was able to disguise it as him thinking. 

“I-I guess I could swing it if there’s overtime-”

You’re a lifesaver! That’s why you’re my favorite linecook, when could you be in?

Anakin shuddered as you worked his tip. 

“I-It’ll have to be a lit-” 

He was cut off by the feeling of your moans sending vibrations up his shaft. 

“Have to be a little later, I’m a bit caught up at the moment”

No problem, how late we talking though?

“Just an hour, maybe hour twenty”

Done, see you then! And thanks again Skywalker. 

He hung up the phone as fast as he could and threw it against the recliner beside him. You laughed once he met your gaze again. 

“You’re wrong for that” he huffed out breathlessly. 

“For what?” you played dumb. 

He laughed bafore grabbing a handfull of you hair. 

“You know exactly what- now, I have work in an hour and I think you should finish what you started” he said with a playful yet demanding tone. 

“Yes chef” you said before taking him in your mouth once more. 

“FFuck” he groaned as your throat squeezed around his weeping cock. 

Without thinking he began to move his hips back and fourth to chase his high. You gagged around his length and clawed at his thighs. 

“Fuck baby, this what you wanted? You wanted me to fuck your throat raw? Better hope you don’t have to work the register tomorrow” he said with a smirk as he thrusted in and out of your mouth. 

You moaned around him and your tears began to spill over. This is exactly what you wanted- you wanted him. 

“God- You feel so damn good, I’m close” he said in a strained voice. 

In a moment of boldness, you removed yourself completely from his cock and began to vigorously pump his length, making his legs shake. 

“Ah- I’m gonna- I’m cumming! F-fuck I’m cumming” he babbled as his abs twitched with every rope that spurt out of his red, swollen tip. 

Once he finally settled down and caught his breath he sat up and wiped his mess off of his chest with the tissues from the end table. 

You wiped your mouth and smiled before nodding to the spaghetti, “You should probably eat, you’ve got work in a few”.

It was his turn to lick his lips, “Yea, I should eat”.

His eyes traveled down your body, “But I don’t think I’m really feeling spaghetti right now”. 

“Oh?” you said with a curious grin, before he pulled you into his lap. 

You kissed him passionately once more before asking “how hungry are you, Ani?”

Maker, you already had a nickname for him- you were perfect. 

“Absolutely ravenous” he responded before laying you on the couch. 

“Show me”.

He smiled and quickly slipped off your shorts and panties in one swift motion. You could already tell this was going to be a top three experience. 

Before you could register the feeling, he was already buried in your pussy. He lapped up your arousal and all you could do was toss your head back in bliss. 

“Oh Anakin” you moaned as he kneaded his large hands at the fat of your ass and your thighs. 

“Fuck, you taste so good- you’re so wet for me” he panted through licks. 

Once his tongue swiped over your swollen clit your back began to arch. You clenched your thighs around his head and tangled your fingers into his hair; this was heaven. 

His mouth worked on your pussy as his hands roamed your body, he seemed to just know what would drive you absolutely insane. 

“Maker- Oh my god Ani!” your breath hitched as his long fingers skillfully pushed into your aching core. 

The combination of his tongue and fingers alone, made you see stars (imagine what his dick would do). 

Embarrassingly, you felt your high coming; usually you lasted longer, but damn did Anakin know how to use his talents. 

“Wanna cum for me sweetheart?” He asked through hooded lashes. 

You nodded vigorously and with another curl of his fingers, you were coming undone in his grasp. 

_______________________________

Anakin threw on one of his work shirts and zipped up his pants; once you came, he gave you the most aftercare he could until he knew he had to leave (Luckily the two of you had time to get cleaned up). 

“Fuck, ‘m so sorry I gotta go, I’ll be back though” he said as he rushed around looking for his keys. 

“I’d imagine so, you live here” you laughed as you stretched on the couch. 

He sighed and walked up to you again, “You know what I mean, I don’t want you to think this was a one time thing- we will be discussing this later”. 

You nodded with a small smile before he leaned down and ran his fingers through your hair; he drew you in for a soft kiss, “I really don’t wanna leave you right now, I look like an asshole”. 

“Don’t you always?” you joked, nipping at his lower lip.

“I’m serious, I don’t want you to think that is all I want from you…”

“I don't” you assured him.

“Alright” he smiled before kissing your forehead once more before leaving. 

_________________________

“Someone’s in a good mood, what’s got you so happy, playboy?” one of the cooks asked after Anakin didn’t immediately get annoyed when one of the servers rang in an order wrong. 

Anakin smirked and shook his head, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m always in a good mood-”.

“Bullshit! You were just skulking around the kitchen the other day ‘casue you saw someone flirting with your little roommate” another butted in. 

“Yea, are you ever gonna ask her out? You’re supposed to be a player, ain’t ‘cha?”

“Nah, man- I’m retired, i’ve been retired for awhile” Anakin said, cringing at his past flings. 

“What made you change?”

Anakin smiled and turned towards his co-workers, “this”.

He pulled out his phone and on the lockscreen were a few texts from you, the top one saying, “Can’t wait til you get back home ;)”.

The chef’s eyes all widened before the kitchen became loud with their excitement. 

“Skywalker’s actually tied down?!”

“Ya finally asked her out!?!”

“When are you bringing her ‘round here?” 

“We wanna meet this little roommate”

Anakin slipped his phone back into his pocket with a smile, “hold on, hold on- we’re not official yet, but i’m pretty sure by tonight we will be- I really like her”.

“No shit, Skywalker! We could all tell you had a crush ever since you moved in with her” one of them laughed to which the rest agreed. 

Anakin smirked before going back to work, “Whatever guys” he said, rolling his eyes, but he couldn't shake the warm blush that was climbing up his cheeks.

***

a/n: so this is taking a point from the linecook headcannons (matching on tinder) but it’s in the universe of pancakes and pastries (roommates- cook ani and bakery reader). i’m not acc sure if i’ll end up writing anything with server reader and cook ani that work in the same restaurant- but we’ll see haha

[chimsuga]

Voltron (Klance) College AU

(all of them are roughly the same age here, in order for it to make sense)

Shiro: Aviation Engineering Major, Senior

Pidge: Computer Engineering Major, Junior

Keith: Civil Engineering Major, Junior

Hunk: Mechanical Engineering Major, Junior

Lance: Biochemistry Major, Junior

Allura: Biochemistry Major, Senior

So, Hunk, Pidge, Keith, and Shiro are all part of this STEM Major Club, and one day their advisor, Coran, suddenly says “We have too many engineers in this room,” so he demands them to get more non-engineering members of their club. 

So, Hunk goes to his roommate and BFF, Lance, who is a biochem major, which it counts, who after a bit of coaxing agrees to go to ONE meeting, and brings Allura around cuz GOd knows he ain’t going into a room full of engineering majors alone. 

The rest of the team does try to bring other non-engineering majors but it’s not much, and pretty soon it’s really just Lance and Allura that stick around. 

But now it is Allura that drags Lance to the meetings and study groups because she fell in love with Shiro at first glance and now it trying to “ride his dick into the sunset” “that is NOT what I said Lance!!!” 

Lance hates the club, well no, he hates Keith, self-righteous asshole with nice hands, soft hair, and a ridiculously cute smile who SCOFFED when he heard Lance was biochem, “So, college of the arts, huh?” “and SCIENCES, bitch” 

So Lance and Keith bicker and fight at every meeting and study group “so, keith, was mech eng too hard for you or??” “busy studying for unemployment, arts student?” until it was the weekend after midterms and everyone was over at Hunk’s and Lance’s getting drunk. When Pidge would think it great to lock them in closet, “so their gay asses can chill”

Somehow they are able to do that and so now a drunk Lance and Keith are trapped in the closet. They sit in silence for a few minutes until Lance speaks up, “do you hate me?” “what? No. More like you hate me” “well you were an asshole to me at first” “well, I was nervous, I’m a dick when I’m nervous”

Pretty soon, they clear the air and start telling each other some truths, how Lance wants to be doctor, either a pediatrician or an oncologist, because he wants to do service trips back to Cuba (Keith tries not to melt to how Lance said Cuba), too many people die from things that can be cured. Keith shared that he wanted to be a civil engineer because when he was staying with a foster family once, and the father was a civil engineer and explained to him how he helped people get places by building roads and bridges, that how he is super proud of that because those roads and bridges brought him to them, and so he studies to do that. 

Pretty soon Lance is telling Keith how sexy he is and Keith is arguing back, “noooo, you are way sexier lance,” Lance admits he finds that when he Keith wears his hair up and so he can see the back of neck is super sexy for him and how he just wanted to lick it. then Keith is admitting that when Lance speaks spanish, it is super hot to him and hopes that Lance can just wrap his thighs around his head. “So, you get a boner when I’m talking to my mom?” “shut up.” “Oh, my GOd you do!!” 

But then, Lance just crawls over Keith, sits on his lap, and places his hands on the back of his neck and whispers “dame esos labios, guapo” (give me those lips, handsome) 

Both Lance and Keith are both smiling into the kiss which makes it a little awkward, and it tastes like the tequila Lance had earlier with the cheap beer Keith had but it was like tension was rolling off their backs so they didn’t care, it was perfect.

That was how Allura found them, to which she started crying (drunk off vodka) and Lance to usher her into his room so fast, because “I’ve been after shiro’s ass for MONTHS, and you literally fight with him all the time and there you are making out with him, isssnotfair, LANCE”

then Lance calls shiro over, then whispered into his ear, “i swear to god if you don’t make your move to ask allura out right now, I’ll fight for my med degree early so I can legally cut and bury your balls, do you understand?” 

A pale shiro nods. Lance quickly pats his back happily, “great! don’t have sex on my bed, or rather don’t at all cuz you’re both drunk. now I’m gonna go make out with Keith some more” “wait, wha-” “later!” 

Lance then grabs and stuffs keith back into the closet where they proceed to make out and then pass out huddled around each other. 

(Meanwhile, Hunk and Pidge are eating all the popcorn and chips watching Shrek)

Hope you enjoyed!

[whosjunglejim4322]

SMUT, collegecrush!au, tattooed Johnny agenda, bff Jaehyun! And brief mentions of him being drunk, all the yearning, Johnny is whipped for you but you didn't hear that from me, he's got a big dick, brief dry humping, finger fucking and pussy eating bc....I'm a whore, sensual fucking cause he thinks ur precious teehee ngl I have a crush on this Johnny

A month ago, if someone would have told you that Johnny Seo would be watching The Matrix trilogy with you while sitting on your living room floor under a blanket that he'd brought to the routine occasion - you would have thought them to be crazy. Insane, even.

And not because Johnny is unpleasant to be around, quite the contrary. Despite his popularity he's one of the most levelheaded, endearing frat boys - for lack of better term - you've ever met, and you also happen to think of him as a superhero of sorts, always there the moment you need him.

It had been a party, where the two of you met - sort of. Not shocking, in the least bit, but also not the first place you would have planned to be on a Saturday night. Jaehyun, being the stubborn and puppy dog eyed best friend that he is, insisted that you come along with him - that he'd keep you glued to his side all night long.

Of course, in proper Jaehyun fashion, three tequila shots in and a game of beer pong had him barely cognitive and passed out on some ones bathroom floor within two hours. The house was big, but filled with people and between trying to lift him up while he giggled about your hair smelling so good and sweet - you also feared anyone seeing him like this. Even if it weren't the first time.

His presence spooked you, at first, a light tap on your shoulder from somewhere behind you just as you attempted to lift your aforementioned best friend for what felt like the hundredth time that night. You nearly dropped him back on his head, if it weren't for quick hands and a sturdy grip on the drunk boys slumped shoulders.

He looked like sunshine, honey skin and dyed blonde hair with the dark roots growing out - a soft, comforting smile across the smooth planes of his face. Dark ink peaked out from where the collar of his shirt had drooped, appearing to be spilling from his shoulder. Your arms felt weaker than before, and embarrassment regarding the situation began to make your skin hot.

"I got him, don't worry," he'd assured with a gentle grin, lifting your bestfriend with an ease you almost wanted to scowl at. His height had been startling too, and not just because you were sitting on someone's bathroom floor. "did you guys drive here?"

You shook your head, a sigh of frustration leaving your lips and slumping your posture as you remembered that you both had walked here. Johnny slung Jaehyuns arm over his broad pair of shoulders, and jerked his chin towards the door, which you opened warily.

"I'll drive you home, it's no problem," his voice was soft, reassuring and you were taken aback. He obviously knew Jaehyun, and you'd never met any of his friends that were so...pleasant. "let's get him to my car first."

It wasn't nearly as painful and humiliating to push past crowds of intoxicated people with Johnny leading the way, as it would have been if it were just you. No one even batted an eye at the way he was dragging Jaehyun like a ragdoll, while the boy grumbled under his breath like a child.

People looked at him, of course. Oh, they looked at him. But not because of his human luggage, and it felt odd to see so many eyes on one person, to realize that his presence has the same effect on everyone else as it did you.

He kept looking back, making sure you were still close behind him, and it wasn't until you were outside in the open that you realized he'd been clinging on to the fabric of your jacket, making sure you didn't stray. Your heart felt like it was bursting open. Focus. You'd thought to yourself.

"That's my car over there, can you open the door for me?"

You jogged towards the sleek, onyx colored SUV that looked like a shadow against the dark bushes, and in just a split second Johnny was behind you, maneuvering Jaehyun into the backseat.

"Mmm...leather." Your best friend's giggle made you all the more grateful for the fact that you hadn't had to do this alone, his cheeks bright red and eyes crescent moons from the way he gleefully grinned. Still, you love him nonetheless.

You pulled your jacket off and prepared to drape it over his body before Johnny stopped you with a gentle hand, shaking his head. "I've got two on, let me."

His jacket probably sufficed more anyways, a heavy denim that would actually cover most of Jaehyuns body. You thanked him with a shy smile while he closed the door, and headed towards the passengers seat.

This experience had been the beginning, the car ride home that night being one full of conversations - genuine conversations, and he didn't leave once you both arrived at your apartments. Jaehyun snored in the background while the two of you talked, laughed. It was hard to look him in the eyes, to not make it so obvious - it's hard now, too.

Neo and Trinity kiss on the screen in front of you, and you wonder how Johnny sees you. Sure, he's flirty, overtly sometimes, but there's never been a definitive line to mark where the both of you really are on the friendship spectrum. If you even want to call it that.

Every time he touches your cheek or catches you staring, even when you're walking to your classes and his hand graces the small of your waist just before he waves you goodbye - you have to assume that he knows what he's doing - that the tension hasn't ever just been one sided.

His hair is a light chestnut brown now, longer than usual and flopping into his eyes from the sides. It's unfair, how he doesn't even have to try. The sharp slope of his nose, the bow of his lips, even the elegance of his neck and jaw. That awe from when you first saw him, has never left.

Not to mention that you often times forget he has so many tattoos whenever he decides to wear short sleeves, the art inky and stark against his olive skin - riveting down from his biceps like silk, cascading over his thick forearms and ending at his knuckles.

You turn your attention back to the laptop upon realizing that you've gotten caught up, heart still rattling underneath your ribcage. It makes it worse, the fact that the heat of his body is so close, that you can smell the scent of dryer sheets clinging onto the fabric of his shirt along with the natural allure of his skin.

"Why were you staring at me?" His breath is warm against the shell of your ear and you shudder, surprised by his sudden closeness and the timbre of his voice. You turn to face him with an incredulous expression, feigning innocence - but he makes it damn near impossible with the way he's looking at you - a dark eyebrow raised and a sly smile playing on his heart shaped lips.

"I was looking at your tattoos, cause - uhm, I forget they're underneath your clothes sometimes." You confess, and his knee knocks against yours underneath the blanket.

"Mmhm, so you think about what's under my clothes?" He teases, and takes pride in the way your eyes glower at him, a scoff leaving your mouth. It's hard to be annoyed when he's so vibrant, right here in front of you.

"Just the art, this one's my favorite." Eager to not have the pressure on you anymore, you reach out to grasp his wrist - not realizing how deeply of a need you've had all this time to do so, until you're tracing the flower that's decorating the top of his hand.

In hindsight, it's a bold move - but you can't go back now, not when he's staring down at you so fondly, scooting closer and placing his hand in your lap while you admire his body art.

"Yeah? Why's it your favorite?" He asks, genuinely curious. He nudges your shoulder with his when he sees the shy smile spreading across your lips, your skin hot to the touch. His comfort level has you less nervous than you were before, and the whole thing feels oddly natural, being so close together.

"I don't know, it just suits you. Your hands are so big, and the little vines looping around your knuckles really makes them look...delicate."

You don't dare look up, not when you realize his chest is rising and falling faster than it was before, just like yours is as you spread his fingers out and play with the digits, his face just inches above yours, voice warm in your ear.

"Second favorite." It's not a demand but it's not exactly a request either, and there's a safety in the energy pulsating around you both - mutual, rippling like a current through your bones.

Your eyes deliberately trail up the length of his long arm, scanning, and your fingertips press against the belly of the dragon that wraps around his bicep, sinewy tail tapering off just below his elbow. You've secretly admired this one for a long time, sneaking glances whenever you can. He turns more towards you just the slightest bit, and the closeness begins to make you feel dizzy.

"Your hands are soft."

This time, you can't not look at him, belly filled with a need to see his face, to save the memory of his features so up close in the back of your mind. However, once you do, look up at him - you almost wonder how you'll be able to handle it at all, his amber eyes boring into you as if he's trying to read your thoughts.

"So is your skin." Is what you manage to reply, willing yourself not to look at his soft, inviting mouth - afraid you'll give yourself away. You feel something stroke the side of your cheek and it takes you a second before realizing he's touching you, apparently giving yourself away isn't an issue. You feel like you're being set ablaze.

"Is it really just the tattoos, you think of?" You're not imagining things, he's definitely moving closer - you can smell the starbursts that he ate earlier still sweet on his breath, the wrappers crumpled on the coffee table next to the laptop.

It's all settling in, the realization that this hasn't been just you, fantasizing and daydreaming about someone who hasn't even realized how his natural charm has made you feel.

You're afraid to speak, so you shake your head as a response to his question, the atmosphere thickening impossibly now that he's cupping your chin between his fingers, the tips of your noses almost touching. You've placed your palm against his knee without even realizing it, steadying yourself.

"I've wanted to kiss you since the day we met," he confesses, dark eyebrows furrowed as if he's restraining himself, waiting. "is this...is this okay?" Your lower belly flutters, and you're almost afraid to move, to change anything about this moment and the way it is right now.

"Me too. I've wanted to kiss you, I mean." You breathe out, and now your lips are ghosting against each other, a moment of hesitation that feels both infinitesimal and fleeting. "It's more than okay." A heartbeat passes and he presses his mouth against yours, so pillowy soft that you gasp, surprised.

It's just a second, that he pulls away to look down at you, and your expression is so heavenly - so hazy and delicate. He kisses you again and this time your lips begin to overlap, from top to bottom, suckling and getting used to the feel of each other. He's still holding your face, but with both hands now, thumbs on your cheeks and fingers wrapping around to the nape of your neck.

You cling onto him like you've no other choice, desperate to have him underneath your fingertips, reminding you that this is really happening and that your mind isn't just creating very vivid daydreams. He pulls you closer and you grip onto his broad shoulders.

"Mm, you're so sweet," he lilts between his kisses, tone somewhere between bliss and desire. You're not expecting to be so worked up already. "even better than I imagined." His tongue slips past yours, wet and warm and it's like your body is being put on vibrate.

He senses this too, with the way you're almost in his lap, breath unsteady. His arms are around your waist before you can move any further, pulling you on top of him and locking you to his torso.

"Johnny." You strain, as the feeling within you becomes overwhelming, craving his touch, his mouth. It doesn't help that he's being so vocal, as well - the sounds sweeter, and more desperate than you'd expect from him. It has something feral igniting within you.

What shocks you the most is that he's already hard underneath you, and the thought alone is enough to have you keening further against his chest, tightening your thighs' grip around his trim waist- not to mention you can feel him snug against your ass, material of your shorts so thin it's palpable when he twitches.

So, naturally, your whine is petulant when his mouth departs from yours, his plush lips a deep blush, matching his cheeks in their hue. He's just as worked up as you if his erratic breathing and the way that he grasps onto your sides is anything to go by, and you shouldn't be as surprised as you are about it.

"You...have no idea," he pants, smoothing his thumb over your bottom lip. "how badly I've wanted you. In so many ways."

Your heart feels like it's attempting to burst through your chest in an effort to be closer to him, his sharp eyes lowly lidded but fierce in their honesty. You take this brief moment to touch his face, his soft cheeks and the smooth, taut ridge of his jaw. It all feels too real to be a dream. This must be reality.

"I'm only stopping because, well I like you," it's hard to pinpoint if the trembling of his hands is fueled from his desire or his nerves, but either way he's got your rapt attention. You doubt anyone could look away from those eyes.

"I like you a lot and...fuck, I don't want to do anything you aren't comfortable with or...sure about. Because I'm sure about you." He finishes, sincere and stoic while holding you against him. You feel like you're floating.

"I have a really big crush on you, Johnny," you kiss his mouth and he smiles against it, humming in contentment. Suddenly, your nerves are replaced by pure adrenaline. "and I like you a lot, too." When you pull back from his lips with a soft smack, his expression causes your skin to burn hot.

"So it'd be okay if I did..." he tilts your head to the side, and a flurry of goosebumps descend across your skin, his breath warm against your throat. "this?" A kiss, soft but purposeful, is placed there, and you shudder.

All you can do is nod in affirmation, heartbeat in your ears among other places. Your fingers run through the hair at the nape of his neck while his mouth begins placing warm, wet pecks against yours, and his body lurches when your thighs tighten around his torso.

It only manages to work you up further, of course, brain already high off of the fact that Johnny likes you back...in fact...he truly is as good as you've always thought, sweet and kind and nasty, groaning when you rut your hips against him.

"Baby, you're shaking." He mouths against your jaw, wondrously and laced with an undertone of hunger. His strong arms hold you tight, eyes softening when he looks down at you and realizes just how worked up you really are.

"I just want you really bad, Johnny." Your body emphasizes your point, chest pressed against the firmness of his, nipples hard behind your shirt. He can practically feel you throbbing.

It's a little fucked up, honestly.

No ones ever had him this head over heels, he feels himself melting against you, your voice sweet and syrupy, dripping with this ache just for him and he's losing it.

"Yeah?" He muses, the wide palm of his hands sliding down the curve of your back, and over the swell of your ass where it's planted so firmly atop of him - massaging you there. "Where do you want me, honey?"

The pet names have you too worked up, you really could get off of anything right now and he's tracing the back of your thighs now, swirling his soft fingertips around, leaving a wake of searing heat in their path.

"Want you everywhere, just - mmph." This kiss interrupts you, bruising in it's intensity and he cups your face softly as a silent apology despite the fact that you're letting out small coos of satisfaction, tugging at the ends of his messy hair.

For a second you feel like you're being lifted, not realizing he's just moved you both to the couch until your head is resting against the cushions, inky arms caging your body against the length of his. He groans when you palm at his stomach, touching and rubbing his sides and then the broad of his back.

All the while his free hand, the one that's not attached to the arm holding himself up, does some exploring of its own, palming your breasts through your shirt and squeezing with just enough pressure to have you arching into his touch.

Automatically, your legs wrap around his middle and your heels dig into the dimples of his back, and his hips pivot downwards to nestle right in between yours. You're both instantaneously struck by the sensation of your centers meeting, his length jerking inside of his pants, your clit throbbing in yours.

"Gonna touch you..." nimble fingertips dance over the skin of your inner thighs. "...here, is that okay?" The warmth of his hand cups your sex and now you're positive that wetness has begun to soak through your underwear, senses gone haywire from the way he's rubbing you, up and down.

"Mhm that's - yes, that's okay." You pant, desperate to feel him as well and reaching in between your bodies in an attempt to grasp at him - his height doesn't make this as easy as you thought and your pliant hands meet just his navel, the faintest of happy trails soft against the skin here.

He switches to his thumb now, instead of the heel of his palm to rub you through your shorts. He searches, for a short moment, finding what he's looking for and pressing the pad of his finger against your bud.

He kisses your whimper, shifting his hips and shuffling upwards just a smidge so that your hands can reach his hard cock. You have to maneuver your arm underneath his but it's working out fine so far, your eyes widening once you feel the twitch of his length.

"Oh." You gasp, expecting to have felt it all while you were on his lap, but missing by a longshot. He's big, bigger than anticipated and you're a bit too flustered as you follow it's bulge through his sweats. He groans your name, and you might be short circuiting.

"You're so hard...and b-big, Johnny you're really big." The incredulity of your voice only has his hunger growing, threatening to swallow him whole. In one breath your hands are pulled from him, pinned above your head with his gentle fingers barring your wrists.

"You're so fuckin' cute," he professes with an awed lilt, moving his hips in circles between yours - his shaft, heavy and thick, nudged against your lips. "wanna make you feel good...mm, wanna make you cum."

Butterflies threaten to flutter into your throat and suffocate you, his breath warm and sweet against your cheek before he's nipping at your earlobe. You feel like you're high, spinning yet completely grounded by his weight above you, against you.

"I want you Johnny, want you to fuck me." You try to turn your head, bashful of the way you're being so shameless but he's not having it, keeping his gaze on your every expression, trying not to lose his sanity when you grind yourself against him. Your voice, petulant and needy, is enough to have him at his wits end alone.

"I will baby, I will," he promises sweetly, accentuating his point by letting go of your wrists, and using one of his hands to pry your thighs open. He rolls his agile hips against you and the friction has you reaching out to grasp at his waist - trim and firm underneath your fingertips. "just gotta get you ready first."

He sits back on his haunches and you pout about the lack of content, his pleased grin a beacon as he hooks his fingers into your waistband, pulling your shorts off your hips and past your thighs - till they're at your ankles, and it feels surreal when he throws them somewhere behind the couch, too eager for his own good.

You're brought back to current reality when his big hands caress the tops of your thighs, before creeping down into the soft crease where they're shut closed in embarrassment, and pulling them apart.

He outwardly marvels and you wonder if he can see you clench, the moment overwhelmingly intimate with the way he's staring directly at the wet spot that’s soaked through the crotch of your panties. He takes only a moment to reach out and press his thumb against the dampness, balls tightening with the need to release each time you whimper or gasp.

With his cock leaking in his pants, he wastes no time, taking the flimsy piece of fabric off so fast you don't even have time to by shy about him seeing you naked and glistening in front of him. Furthermore, you don't think anyone could feel even the least but bad about themselves if he looked at them like this - slack jawed, and starved.

"Fuck...you're so beautiful," two long, inky fingers formed into the shape of a V, spread your lips open and then he's moving further away - no, scooting down onto his stomach, and suddenly his breath is a warm puff against your most sensitive parts. "so wet for me, hmm?"

You're not sure you can look away, too enraptured by the visual stimuli that's correlating with the circling of your swollen clit. You want to cry, a little bit. Scream, maybe. He's so beautiful you can't help but to reach out, running your fingers through the front of his chestnut hair and then his eyes are piercing through you like the shock of ice water.

Your body seems to register the feeling before you can process the sight by itself, back bowing off the couch, hips bucking. His hot, wet tongue licks at the hood of your clit, starting slow and picking up pace when you start to squirm. The blossoms painted across his skin decorate the arms that hold you down while his pillowy lips envelop the bud, suckling lewdly.

"O-oh, oh fu-mmm." You're already blubbering, lost and falling into the sensation of everything all at once. You've no doubt that he's had years of experience but this, you're not sure you've felt pleasure like this before.

"Feels good?" He mumbles between the flick of his tongue, hands traveling up the length of your body to grip your waist, kneading your skin. You almost laugh at the question, assuming your trembling body and the way you're involuntarily bucking against his mouth would suffice as an answer. Still, you humour him.

"Mmhm, feels- ohh, mhm feels good." Your voice is barely there, strained and whiny but he feeds off of your every utterance as if it's something he so desperately needs. The smacking between your legs becomes louder and like a magnet, you're drawn to the sight again, coil in your belly tightening impossibly.

He's a muss of hair, the dark strands tickling your thighs when his head moves from side to side. Your thighs attempt to clamp shut but then he's looking up at you again - purposeful in the way he maintains eye contact while he dives down and licks a stripe over your entrance.

You're not going to last long, and he knows this, from every twitch and squirm and whimper - he's preparing for your demise, humming in contentment while the lewd sounds of slickness continue.

He slips a finger inside of you, and then another once he realizes how soaked you are, and this proves to be the beginning of the end. You grip onto his forearms, needing to be grounded to something while he buries the digits inside of you, curling in a come hither motion.

It's all beyond what you thought pleasure could be, it's violet and red and all things euphoric behind your eyelids and the sound of his pleased groans are what finally have you giving out, melting against the couch cushions.

You're not sure if you're making any sound at all, honestly. It comes so quick, violent in it's force and you're hazy headed - tears welling in your eyes from the way he's still massaging you, licking you while your walls squeeze and contract around his fingers.

"That's it baby, mmm, let go."

The velvet voice is warm against your sensitive sex and you're still twitching as you peel your eyes open to peer down between your legs and see him there, staring up at you like you're the sun, slowing his movements while the aftershock of your orgasm seeps through you.

His knuckles are buried to the hilt inside of you and he pulls them out slowly, petal pink lips kissing your clit gently, adoringly. With your brain still foggy and embarrassment no longer present, you grab his wrist, bringing his slick soaked fingers to your mouth and wrapping your lips around them.

He moans an expletive and then he's hovering over you again, watching with a soaring heart as you suckle your juices clean from his digits, lashes fluttering when you open your eyes.

For once in his life, he's speechless. You have to pull him down to kiss you in order to breaks him from his reverie and it's now that he's realizing how excruciatingly hard he is. He doesn't remember the last time he's ever been this worked up without his dick even being touched for more than five minutes.

It's safe to say he's taken by surprise when your hand slips into his bottoms and briefs to palm him this time, and his body lurches against you while a desperate sound bellows in his throat.

"Baby." he coos, relishing in the softness of your palm, the difference in size of his own. He wants to protest when the intense bliss of it is gone, momentarily, only to feel your fingers attempting to pull his sweats down.

You're still buzzing from your orgasm but you've never been more positive about something; about someone. Your whole body feels as though it can't be satiated, not until you have all of him after having such a sweet taste.

"Please, now, want you now." You nibble on his bottom lip and he has to pull himself away or else he'll get too caught up in your mouth by itself, but he's on a mission - searching for his wallet and scrambling for it when he sees the leather square sitting on the floor.

The tips of your fingers and toes tingle with a mixture of unbearable anticipation, and nerves for what's about to come when he pulls the condom from his wallet and tears the corner of the foil.

It's just a second but it's enough to admire him silently, the twitch of his mouth, the elegance of his fingers even when they're eager and uncoordinated. A part of you feels overcome by the need to be encapsulated by his presence, for his skin to be a permanent silkiness against your lips.

He catches you in the midst of staring and it's like he's glowing from the inside out, pulling his pants down his thick thighs along with his black briefs, kicking them to the floor.

Without thinking your arms are reaching forward, gripping the small of his waist as if to still him, and he pauses at your will. He's cupping your chin with one hand while your fingertips explore underneath the hem of his shirt, and you're grateful that he's allowing you to soak this in, that he's not rushing despite the fact that both of you are like exposed lit wires.

"Here, let me take it off." His arms are reaching behind him before you can blink, biceps curling as he pulls his shirt off of his broad shoulders before discarding it with the rest of his clothing.

Your breath is audible, pupils blown wide while you examine the length of his torso and the permanent shapes that are marked there. Only patches of his honey skin peek through the array of tattoos he's got climbing his sides, over his chest, and you swear you've never seen someone so beautiful.

"Take mine off too." You barely manage to get out, and he's kissing your lips again with a soft sort of fondness, while his knuckles graze your skin and your shirt is being stripped from your body. He's back to kissing you and your naked chests meet for the first time, a fierceness gripping you by the throat when when when the shaft of his cock nudges your clit.

"You're sure about this?" He asks, gentle in the way he strokes your cheek with the back of his hand, pecking your mouth between glances at your nipples where they rub against him. His touch travels to your jaw and down your neck, before he's tweaking the buds between his fingers, and your legs wrap around his middle in an effort to solidify your answer.

"Yes, I'm sure," you run your fingers through his hair. "very sure."

Lips press against your cheek and then you're presented with the sight of him again, bare in front of you, just a few inches away. It's now that you really find the courage to look at him, not expecting to be out of breath and shock stricken once you lay your eyes upon his dick.

It's pretty, as pretty as you knew it had to be; curved just slightly, the tip swollen with arousal and a shade deeper than that of his lips that you've come to have photographically memorized.

You watch with probably more fascination than most while his slim fingers roll the condom onto his length, down the shaft that protrudes with a small vein right in the middle, until it's snug and securing the fact that you and Johnny Seo are about to have sex.

As always, here there right when you need him most, aiding you in forgetting about anything that isn't crucial to right now. His arms are wrapping around your thighs and pulling you closer - your small gasp doesn't go unnoticed.

And then, there's also the way he's looking at you, again. It's like he's compacted every emotion you could feel in a moment like this, and somehow managed to reflect it's opacity back at you through the glimmer of his irises.

You jerk your hips against him and he grins at your urgency, diverting his attention to the space between your legs and holding you steady by the hips with one hand while the other goes to grip his cock.

He levels his pelvis with yours and brings the pink head down to your entrance where it leaks for him, gathering the slickness and smearing it through your folds, around your clit.

His fingers search for yours and suddenly he's interlocking them while you feel the initial stretch of his dick finally entering you, a soft expletive leaving his mouth while he pushes himself into you halfway, peering down with half lidded eyes as a silent affirmation.

Your expression must be as expressive as the soft mewls that involuntarily fall from your lips, and he bottoms out while leaning down to kiss you as he's come to realize that this action is single handedly way more addictive than it should be.

You feel so full it's impossible not whine, and within seconds he's pulling himself out of you nearly all the way - mouth hovering over yours so he can watch your features contort when he sheathes himself back in with a snap of his hips.

With the need to hold on to something becoming incessant, he allows you to throw your arms around his neck while your thighs tremble around him, his hips creating a slow but steady pace that draws lewd sounds from between your bodies with every slow drag of his thick cock.

It's strange, how you provoke such tenderness within him when you shudder and pant beneath him despite the fact that he's barely done anything yet- a juxtaposition to the feral, nagging type of ache that brews in the center of his belly to have you even more a mess.

It's not that he's fairing any better, though. Even you can see that, feel it in the way he keeps his lips on your skin, trying and failing miserably to hold back his groans while your nails create crescent moons on the broad of his back.

"You - f-fuck you feel s-so good." He stutters, and if you could find your words maybe you'd even have the confidence to tease him, but right now all you can comprehend is the feeling in which he's providing, the nudge of his tip so deep inside of you.

"Faster, can you - oh yes, yes." It's like he knows what you want before you get it out all the way, and his tongue is warm against your throat while he obliges your request, furthering your haziness.

You're quick to realize that Johnny is a generous lover. Despite the fact that he's holding himself together on the edge of his coherency, he's already atuned to each tense of your muscles, the strain of sweet sounds you coo in his ear. He uses this as a guide, working his hips skillfully, circling when he pushes himself back in.

The fact that you're sopping wet helps as well, audibly soaked and your walls are taking him in so generously he doesn't know what to do with himself. Your hands are in his hair and tug at the dark strands without thinking, drawing a sweet, serene moan from the back of his throat.

"Mm, feels good?" He asks despite knowing the answer, your countenance painted with the colors of bliss. He peers down in between your bodies and almost regrets it due to the pulse it sends through his groin - threatening to send him over the edge too soon.

But it's a sight too mesmerizing, his entire length disappearing inside of you with an easy glide, his hips colliding with the back of your thighs and your clit waiting to be played with. You're just as taken by the sight, surrounded by only him, inside of you and around you like a life force. Your hands travel over anywhere and everywhere, down to his belly where the muscles flex underneath the painted skin with every thrust.

"So good, you feel s-so good Johnny." You're becoming even more petulant but he doesn't mind, not when you're clinging onto his biceps and mewling his name. He slips his tongue into your mouth while his hands cup the back of your knees, hiking your thighs up higher around his middle.

Your skin burns where he touches, his pace increasing and now you wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors knew exactly what it is that the two of you are doing, skin against skin and coos of pleasure echoing through your small apartment. You have a hard time forming thoughts that make sense.

"M' all the way up there baby," his voice is deceivingly sweet, hips dangerous and borderline ruthless now that you two are drenched in the essence of lust and desire, driven by your need to come undone. "such a sweet pussy."

He means it, too. Maybe that's what makes this all so much more enthralling. From the clench of his taut jaw, to the way his dark eyebrows are furrowed, even the crimson of his lips from the way he's been biting down on them - Johnny is nothing but honest. It's somehow stripped you of the shyness you'd normally be harboring, compelling your mouth to speak without a filter.

"It's all yours, I'm yours."

This seems to spur him on, more than you thought because now he's all but cradling you in his arms, mouthing his words against your lips, not allowing even a centimeter of space to reside between the two of your bodies. It feels whole, complete.

"Mm, yeah sweetheart? Mine. Fuck, you're all mine."

It's a growled statement and you quiver against his solid form, warmed from the inside out like a furnace and set ablaze. You're still sensitive from his mouth but that doesn't change the orb of pressure within your belly, or the waves of pleasure that spread through your thighs and up your spine from the way your clit is rubbing against his pelvis while his cock reaches new depths.

You should've known his mouth would be filthy, and it's really ticking every box you've literally ever needed to be ticked and you're sort of embarrassed by how far gone you are already, properly mewling with your fingers gripping onto his bulged biceps where he uses them to hold himself up.

His face is a sight to behold in itself, as well - plush lips parted, cheeks hot and a shade of deep, ravishing plum. If he weren't steadily hitting that sweet spot inside of you maybe you'd actually be able to keep your eyes open long enough to admire it more - but it's obvious it won't be long until you're unraveling.

He's thankful, in a way. Because you're sighing out sweet words that profess how good he's doing, and he swears that he's never felt anything as good as this. Through and through. You're made for him, wrapped around his being, tight like cellophane and it's silly but this is all he's dreamed of for months.

"Open your eyes sweetheart," his hips stutter at the same time you involuntarily squeeze around the tip of his cock as he goes to seep back into you and you're drawn to the plead of his voice. "let me - fuck, let me be yours, please?"

His voice is honey, coating you in it's sweetness and you're teetering on the edge of your release. It beckons you soothingly, like a siren in the wake of a wave and it doesn't calm when you pull him down to your mouth by the nape of his neck, your shared groans being swallowed by the other. Your thighs are a vice around his waist, keeping him locked against you as he grinds his cock into you.

"You're mine, J-John- oh, oh please." His fingers have reached down in the limited space between your shared skin to rub your clit in circles and you know this is it - mind and body completely encircled by everything he's made of, the scent of his skin and the heat of his body and even the way he says your name.

"Want you to cum for me, please, please cum for me baby." His breath is warm against your ear, a vibration that wracks through all of your senses and your body knows it's coming before you do - instantly under the influence of his begs and pleas.

You're descending, voice nothing but a gasp and an echo of an expletive when the dam inside of you finally bursts - leaving you to tremble like a leaf beneath him while the feeling threatens to consume you inch by inch, nerve by nerve. 

You've all but gone limp, bright dots of light flitting through your vision and you feel his mouth everywhere, like a soft, warm reassurance that he's not going anywhere while you spasm around him.

"Just like that, oh fuck, yeah just like that."

In this place of completeness, you bask in the rise in octave of his usually low timbred voice, in the way he's holding you so firmly in his arms, as if scared to let go and put even an inch of separation between the two of you.

You're still twitching when you feel him throb inside of you, your name a warm whisper against the side of your neck while he pumps himself into you with no real rhythm; filling the condom with spurts of his cum while your fingers gently scratch the back of his scalp, through his hair.

Your breaths are ragged and have only that in common, his weight comforting despite the fact that both of you are in such a fragile state. It all feels surreal, like maybe you’ll wake up soon even with his cock still buried inside of you, half hard. More than anything, it feels right. Apprehension nor guilt nor worry brews underneath your skin, instead overshadowed by pure elation.

Wet pecks travel across your throat like marks of gratitude and your smile is automatic, involuntary.

"I meant it, you know," he's out of breath but concise, palm cupping the side of your face as he makes his way to your mouth and kisses you there, afraid to look you in the eyes. "about...about what I want. About wanting you."

You actually do laugh this time, suddenly outrageously giddy at the words leaving his pretty mouth, mildly entertained by the fact that someone could be almost as oblivious as you are. Almost.

He looks worried for only a split second until you're kissing his face, over his nose and fuchsia cheeks, a feather against the soft autumn ground.

"I meant it too," your voice is light, airy and he swears he'd believe anything you told him, even if it weren't as absolutely resolute as it is right now; your smile against his lips like a seal of promise. He meets your gaze, and everything within him calms, settles.

"I'm yours. And you're mine."

This, he thinks to himself, is all he's wanted to hear since the day you looked up at him with all the stars in your eyes.

Completely worth Jaehyun stealing his Armani denim jacket, honestly.

[seasickbaby]

Just a Kiss (II)

Pairing: Christopher x reader

Words: 1.7k

Summary: Christopher offers to help improve your *romantic* skills, and he isn’t kidding. When you agree, things escalate and feelings you tried to suppress resurface. 

A/N: Hola amores! Thank you so much for your patience with his fic. Ngl I don’t think this is my best writing but I wanted to get it up anyways. This chapter is short but I’m thinking about making this a series. Please come talk to me about this chapter and what you (want) think is gonna happen next! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and keeps me motivated to write more. Also from now on my notes will go at the bottom! Enjoy!

You can read part one here: 

https://seasickbaby.tumblr.com/post/188487428355/just-a-kiss

------------------------------------------------------------

“I mean,,, t-tips…” You stutter, “Give me tips.”

Christopher clicks his tongue and leans back on the counter.

“Tips will only get you so far y/n… This is more of a hands on activity.”

You roll your eyes and slap his arm playfully. “Come on, I need a guy’s perspective. I could give you some in return.”

Chris, completely unfazed, just takes another sip of his beer. The lack of attention is bothersome so you cross your arms and pout your lip; inner five year old coming out when he doesn’t give you what you want.

Chris steals a side glance and chuckles. He then turns and, with a soft gaze, places a soft hand underneath your chin.

“No offense princesa, but what tips could you possibly give me?”

Forehead wrinkling, you force a laugh.

Wow, that was rude.

“Full offense Chris, but for how much you get gassed up about your skills, I expected more.”

This takes him by surprise. He was used to being teased by the other members, sure, but never about his ways with women. Everyone knew he was a ladies man. Even himself.

“Woah what do you mean?” Visibly hurt and confused, Chris pulls back his hand and dramatically places it over his chest.

You pretend you do not hear.

“Hmmm, maybe I should just ask Zabdi, I bet he won’t mind.” You shrug before hopping off the stool, “I’ve heard good things about him too.” You wink.

“Wait, wait, wait.”

His hand finds yours before you could walk away.

“Fine. I’ll help you, but first take back what you said.”

His ego got hurt, cute.

“And why would I do that?” You smile innocently.

He gives a small tug on your hand and brings you to stand in front of him, pulling you in between his legs when he hooks his hands behind your lower back. Eyes burning into yours.

Funny how people say that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Most would say Chris is an open book; his outgoing, energetic personality makes it seem like such, but his eyes always spoke the words he never said out loud. Full of emotions yet never revealing too much, only showing what he wanted you to see.

You let yourself get lost in them every once in a while, never for too long. But right now, being so close in proximity, staring straight into his doe eyes, made you a little light headed.

Not even kidding, you could’ve kissed him again right there and then... if Erick hadn’t interrupted. The young one came over, ever so happily, and throws his arms over both your shoulders; the movement forcing Chris’ hands to let go of you.

“Ayyyy, compadres.”

“Erick your breath smells like beer.” Chris laughs as he sees you wrinkle your nose in the opposite direction of his face.

“Honestly, who even gave you alcohol you’re a baby!”  

“I am not! Tengo 18 años para su información. I’m a full grown, legal, adult!” Erick sloppily waves his hands in the air.

“Uh huh, we can see that.”

A couple minutes pass of the three of you standing there together, laughing and talking, until Erick stops mid conversation and gasps.

Listen to the song!” He instructs.

You and Chris both give each other a puzzled look as you try to listen over the crowd of drunk people.

“Que sordos… It’s El Guachineo!” He grabs your hand and starts to pull you out onto the dance floor, “Come on, let's dance!”

You swallow the last of your drink and the tequila pumps through your veins, making you feel bolder and confident. Perhaps it was the way Chris was looking at you or the one too many shots you took, you weren’t really sure, but you get the sudden urge to give in to Christopher’s temptations. Nervously biting your lip, you lean closer to him, and you’re sure going to regret this once you’re sober.

“Prove me wrong, and I’ll retract my statement.”

He could've not known what you meant, but the way his eyes widened made you think otherwise. You send him a flirtatious, yet sweet, smile before letting Erick drag you away.

There was never a dull moment when dancing with Erick. The way he flung his arms around everywhere and his facial expressions always had you laughing. Erick was a good dancer, no doubt about it, but he’s also a goofy guy, and that goofiness is multiplied by ten when he drinks.

Eventually the rest of the boys join you on the dance floor; everyone except Christopher. The longer you danced the longer you overthought the comment you previously made; anxiety begins builds up in your stomach. You try to push the thoughts away and instead focus on the boys in front of you, who were arguing over who was better at dancing bachata.

After what felt like an hour, you leave the group to look for Chris. You begin with where you last left him. Upon not finding him, you turn to the person most likely to have seen him last.

“Excuse me,” You smile at the barista, “have you, by any chance, seen a man with sloppy brown hair, tattoo sleeved arms, and looks like,,, a deer… kinda?”

“The Velez guy that was sitting with you over there?”

“Yes! That one.”

“He left not long after you and el otro muchacho went out to dance.” She gave you an apologetic smile.

The way your heart drops a little is unsettling, so you ignore the feeling and, instead, order one last shot of tequila before heading back to the hotel. You shoot the boys a quick text in the groupchat and head out of the club.

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n

I’m going back to the hotel, have fun :)

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Zabdi: Who’s taking you?

You’ve been drinking all night

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n

I called an uber I'm fine

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Richard: I’m coming with you

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n

 I’m F I N E, enjoy your night

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Richard: You’re drunk in a big city we don’t know, 

I'm not letting you go alone

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n                                                            *not drunk & too late :P

Later, xoxo

You throw your head back on the Uber’s seat with a sigh and close your eyes, feeling a bit dizzy.

“Long night?” The Uber guy asks.

You sigh with a small laugh  “In a way.” Even though it was only two in the morning; at this time people are still drinking non stop.

“Well, I hope whatever is troubling you now resolves itself soon. Remember, everything happens for a reason.”

It was a small but sweet gesture. Maybe your troubles were a bit dumb but he made your feelings validated. Let’s just say, you got back to the hotel safe and sound and with a new friend: Ricky the driver.

The elevator ride to the fourteenth floor was slow and you couldn’t wait to finally relax. You open the door of your room and smile in relief when you kick your heels off. You took a shower, put on your favorite silk pjs, threw a robe over it and flopped on the bed to watch The Lion King (for the hundredth time) with a bowl of grapes. You were in the middle of singing Hakuna Matata when your phone rings.

A notification from Chris pops up.

Christopher:

Did you make it back to the hotel safely? [2:50 am]

Y/N:

I did, thanks for asking [2:51 am]

Where did you go tonight? [2:53 am]

Christopher:

I, uh, had to take care of a little problem [2:54 am]

Y/N

Oh? [1:54 am]

Christopher:

That you caused… [2:54 am]

Y/N:

I’m even more confused  [2:55 am]

Christopher:

Did you mean what you said before? [2:57 am]

Y/N:

What do you mean [2:57 am]

Christopher:

About,,, you know [2:58 am]

Christopher:

Proving you wrong [2:58 am]

Y/N:

Oh, I didn’t not mean it [2:59 am]

Your heart thuds loudly as you anticipate his response

Christopher:

Y/N you’re Richard’s little sister… [3:00 am]

Y/N:

Damn. Bitches just want to be good kissers and end up getting exposed to their brother… I’m bitches :( [3:00 am]

Y/N:

Just say you don’t like me and GO [3:01 am]

Christopher:

I guess I could teach you a thing or two [3:02 am]

That has you sitting up abruptly. Eyes scanning the text over and over. You feel your heart in your throat and, why is it extremely hot all of a sudden? You push yourself off your bed and pace around the room, unsure of what to do or say next.

Your phone dings with another text and you scramble to read it.

Christopher:

Come to my room. [3:05 am]

A101 [3:05 am]

You debate it at first. Coming up with multiple “what if’s” and a long list of things that could go wrong. But at the end of the day you knew this was a one time thing, no strings attached, and a way to practice. So why not?

You’re knocking on room A101’s door sooner than you expected. You look down at your shorts and curse yourself for not wearing something less revealing. A couple seconds pass, enough for you to change your mind, so you turn to walk away.

“A donde vas?”

A voice too familiar says behind you. You slowly face him, heart beating out of your chest and hands a tad clammy.

“Strictly for instructional purposes only?” You raise one eyebrow.

“Nothing more.” He extends his hand and you stare at it for a second before grabbing it. His lips part into a smile and yours return it. Chris pulls you into the room, letting out a small laugh as you trip over your feet. He reaches a hand up to brush through your hair, stopping at your jaw and tracing his thumb all the way to your lips.Your laugh dies down as you see Christopher’s eyes flick to your lips, tongue coming across them in a slow, sultry, motion.

Deep down, you knew you were crossing a line which you couldn’t come back from. And you were worried. Lowkey truly worried. Because there was so much on that line: your friendship with Christopher (one of your best friends), Christopher’s relationship with your Richard (his band mate and best friend) and your relationship with your brother. But all those worries vanish when Chris leans in to press a soft kiss to your forehead, your nose, and then the corner of your lips.

“Step number one.”

[visionssofgideon]

In-depth Reflection on Kingsman: The Golden Circle (Spoilers)

FUCKING SPECTACULAR, EH!

After so much waiting, watching new promos and trailers everyday, I watched Kingsman: The Golden Circle today! The sequel to my favorite movie of all time! And BOY, I have so many thoughts. I am going to try to go as in-depth as I can, and as much in order as I can but BEWARE this is nearly a shit post with me pouring all of my feelings into it and will have random points all over the place, but mainly is me trying to process everything, this is A LOT (it’s 3k) and basically a summary of the movie 

SPOILER ALERT!!! OBVIOUSLY LOL okAY LET’S GO

They started off the fucking MOVIE with Take me Home, Country Roads on a bagpipe FUCK

FUCK YEAH EGGSY UNWIN! GARY UNWIN! MY MAN! MY DUDE! MY SON! YOU LOOK SO FINE IN THAT SUIT, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR DECEASED HUSBAND shit too soon

IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A MINUTE CHARLIE GET THE FUCK OUT IDC HOW YOU SURVIVED GO AWAY also ALL THESE CARS OH FUCK IS THIS ALL POPPY! Anyways Yes yes yes EPIC drifting cab scene! Eggsy has grown so much yeah boy you kick his ass! I love this drifting cab scene, they built a custom cab that could drift how amazing is that! But oh nooo, ugh Charlie’s stupid arm made the poisonous blade kill the driver :(

Eggsy can hold his breath because he was training for the marines but also throwback to his training when he was the only one that was smart enough to see the two-way mirror! The police were like yOu wOt m8 @ Eggsy but iT’S OKAY there’s a secret Kingsman entrance under the lake! By the way HI MERLIN I LOVE YOU YOU SCOTTISH MAN but Eggsy you are a BRAVE man for jumping into shit! On a side not, the hand just hacked into Kingsman holy shite

HI TILDE agh prefer Eggsy with the love of his life, Harry Hart, but you DAMN brave for wanting to kiss a shit-covered Eggsy! Also HI JB YOU’VE GROWN SO MUCH! But wait, EGGSY MOVED INTO HARRY’S HOUSE! Just like the fanfics said! That makes me so happy

Cool transition from a bag of pot to Cambodia! Poppy is FUCKING CRAZY, actual psychopath, I mean cannibalistic burgers, delicious! Those dogs are cool, more realistic than other movies, but rip people who are put through the shredder! Ngl that burger looks pretty good

AW TILDE TRYING TO TEACH EGGSY MANNERS BUT FUCK HERE IS THE DELETED HARTWIN BREAKFAST SCENE FROM TSS! THE MYTHICAL BREAKFAST SCENE IS REAL! Eggsy paying close attention to his lover Harry Hart is

The fact that Eggsy has to hold back tears when simply thinking of Harry is so :( And he even asks Mr. Pickles, because he remembers Harry’s love for him. Eggsy Unwin was in love with Harry Hart, okay.

“Galahad, late again” HAHA just like Harry used to be! Hi off-brand Michael Caine-looking Arthur! ROXY MORTON IS MY GIRLFRIEND HI I LOVE YOU OKAY I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN BUT I LOVE YOU! She looks so fly, so does Eggsy and Merlin! Also bye @Charlie I can’t believe he survived armless and now works for the craziest person ever!

Honestly rip this guy who just got the golden circle tat and is eating his friend in the form of a burger which btw looks pretty good! Welcome to hell!

Oh nice, the dinner scene! Eggsy is such a gentleman but he actually loves Tilde? He’s actually doing this wow and it’s all because Roxy Morton aka my gf is helping him out! Of course he doesn’t know about spanish painter Frida Kahlo! Roxy ugh ur da best from galahad, and roxy asking best friend or best agent? Both ;) AGH also NICE Eggsy started his own wall like Harry’s of the menial news! UGH Eggsy’s friend is so dumb what is he DOING! AHHHH HAND GRENADE and Eggsy cursing 100x in front of Tilde’s parents

NO NO NO BOMBING EGGSY’S PLACE! Everything is gone ALL OF HARRY’S STUFF! NO JB NONO EGGSY’S FRIEND! WHAT THE WHERE DID THESE MISSILES COME FROM oh fucking POPPY

Roxy knew, she knew, she even tried to escape but… Roxy Morton! MATTHEW VAUGHN I am utterly disgusted and disheartened! Roxy had so much potential, and remaining in a platonic relationship with Eggsy, their friendship was amazing! She was a brilliant agent, not to mention um the only female!? DENIAL! DENIAL! Roxy survived, she tried escaping, so she survived! WE WILL SEE ROXY MORTON IN THE THIRD KINGSMAN MOVIE OKAY

Arthur is dead, all the Kingsman including Percival are dead… Poppy is absolutely crazy, and is giving Charlie a new arm! God, from the trailer, the crazy slingshot arm! Agh no no no this won’t be good…

Eggsy, all alone, in despair. And here go Merlin and Eggsy blaming each other, for possible betrayal! And god Eggsy, Eggsy telling it like it is, everybody is dead, JB, Roxy, his friend, everybody… but Merlin told him to not shed a tear, to hold in emotion, as if he has done this before.

Thus, the doomsday protocol ensues- shopping, drinking. Statesman whiskey! Drinking to everybody! Drink to Scottland! Haha, nice try @ drunk!Merlin! But drunk Eggsy slurring his words and Merlin being an absolute mess and crying is just…. Somebody please get Merlin Kentucky fried chicken, please

HAHA that part of Merlin breaking in, opening the barrel! Hello CHANNING TATUM! Agent Teqila HAHA okay! That fighting was great, wow like being an American for once! WOW please don’t set their balls on fire, that would not be good! HAHA Yeah Tequila, go fuck yourself! 

WAIT BUT, HARRY HART IS ALIVE! HARRY HART, SHAVING, BEAUTIFUL MALE SPECIMAN, HARRY HART! HARRY FUCKING HART! EGGSY UNWIN’S SOULMATE! He is alive, and beautiful as ever! Yes Eggsy, we understand, “Fuck me” as in you love Harry Hart we get it! Eggsy and Merlin yelling, but alas, a two-way mirror! YAY GINGER ALE TO THE RESCUE LOVE YOU HALLE BERRY MY QUEEN

Harry looks all smiley! All happy! But he doesn’t know… I predicted this, his amnesia :( Please remember bby! Eggsy is all frustrated, but look at Harry focusing on his butterflies! YES YES THE STATESMAN IN KENTUCKY SAVED HARRY wow cool technology for being American, I would like to thank Ginger! Unfortunately, Harry reverted to his old self. Before kingsman or army, he was a lover of butterflies. Wow. Before being in the army, a kingsman agent, he was a lepidopterist

ELTON JOHN, THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE POSSIBLY! Telling it to Poppy as it should be!

HAHA hello champ! Yay jeff bridges! What a man, he seems so chill, I want to have a conversation with him! Champ>>>>>Arthur. Will never get over the fact that the Kingsman are knights of the round table, galahad, lancelot, percival… the statesman are fckuing alcoholic beverages how American sigh,,,,, also Whiskey, hi pedro pascal!

Harry Hart reading his dear book about butterflies! No, they’re putting him through training again to jog his memory! But poor Harry is struggling no no my bby please stop! Btw Colin Firth is the best actor ever okay thanks! Agh this scene is breaking my heart :(((( Harry’s trying to hard to remember, Merlin is trying so much, but Harry’s just here soaking wet :(((

AW JB 2.0 thanks @tilde aw okay people get people they love dogs to help them…. Keep that in mind for later for what I KNOW is coming up!

Lol mini condom and penis joke bc haha America sucks! Look Charlie’s gf who Eggsy will have to get to for their mucus membrane because the trackers needs to be… Haha Whiskey “tinder-what?” me!

BLUE VEIN shit… tequila come on mate! So sugar is 10000x worse than any drug rip :( Elton John is great I love him! Poppy is crazy pt. 2, those dogs are scary, please no! Hey, Elton is friend hell yeah!

Ahhh, can I just say, even though I don’t want Eggsy with Tilde, he is such a decent man to tell her what he is going to do! Despite knowing she’s going to be mad! NO PROPOSAL PLEASE but still, Eggsy Unwin is a good man that is all I have to say! Started from the bottom (literally) now we’re here! Lol @Tilde he actually loves Harry Hart! Anyways, time to travel through the vagina! Matthew Sexist Vaughn everybody! LOL @Merlin being uncomfortable and Ginger being total 100% chill, they are perfect for each other! i ship

HI HARRY! Oh god is this the maggot butterfly scene? YES IT IS! oh fuck fuck fuck. Okay can I say, Harry Hart is so smiley, he loves talking about butterflies. THIS SCENE GOD yes Harry pin Eggsy against the wall! Btw my FAVORITE thing is when Harry says “Perhaps you mean larvae” and smiles. Such a sweet smile! And the smiles are sad at the same time, because he doesn’t know who Eggsy is! And now Eggsy is sad drinking, trying not to think about the old Harry, trying to deal with the whole Tilde situation. God, the scenes between Harry and Eggsy are making me so elated with both joy and sorrow, because Hartwin. BUT THE PUPPY! Eggsy looked up pet store and

OH MY GOD MR. PICKLES 2.0! FAVORITE SCENE EVER! Ahhh Harry smiling, or rather Colin smiling at the pupper, the most precious thing! Young, non-agent Harry Hart is innocent and will love and cherish a puppy. BUT EGGSY, stop torturing him! Eggsy is trying so hard to jog Harry’s memory, but it’s so sad! Also, Colin Firth’s acting in this scene, is just fantastic! Absolutely amazing, to see the contrast! Young Harry Hart or CGId Colin Firth is the sweetest thing, to see his love Mr. Pickles. Because truly, Mr. Pickles was Harry Hart’s pressure point. Saying that Harry would never hurt a puppy, it was a blank, and HARRY IS BACK! Harry Hart, the agent, the man who knew he was an agent, but also a man. A man with feelings, with love, with innocence! No more Eggy, hello Eggsy, your husband! GOSH, THE HUG! Eggsy Unwin on his tippy toes hugging his soulmate Harry Hart and the puppy he got him! YES, remember how Tilde got Eggsy a puppy to help him because she loved him. If you love somebody and get them a puppy, then you know that Eggsy Unwin is deeply in love with Harry Hart. I truly think this is it. Hartwin confirmed #nice

BAR NICE yay Harry is back! Still can’t believe! OH GOD Eggsy holding back tears seeing his eye, but Harry completely and undoubtedly ROCKING those eyepatch-glasses like he was meant to! Okay, who is this redneck guy calling Harry the f-word. Please, Harry Hart may be the gayest man alive (in TSS with Dean’s guy saying that there’s “another rent boy around the corner” triggering Harry just like the f-word did, as well as his smirk in TSS when saying “my black jewish boyfriend” HAHA) but this is just rude. And Harry can’t aim because his depth perception is 100x worse than before now :( Stop punching Harry my bby! #StopHurtingHarryHart2k17! Manners DO Maketh Man, but Harry still needs to relearn! Well Whiskey going to whip them into shape, Diana Prince 2.0? That’s a REALLY GOOD FIGHT SCENE! Wow Southerners are not like what I expected! I hope Harry gets better soon

UGH Poppy is crazy pt. 3! This disease is crazy, but there is Elton John to save the day! ELTON YOU DA MAN! Anyways, yikes! DANCING HHAHA, Tequila could bust some dank moves! Anyways the world is going crazy, but what else is new? OH the US president is a dick… Trump, is that you? Low-key about Trump even though this finished filming before he became president! See, the president here is what I think of when I think of Southerners.

Okay so they’re going to Italy! And Eggsy is not going without Harry! Aw, look at my sons who are so in love with each other! Nice outfits boy! Aw, Harry can’t do too much field work because he’s still recuperating :( He couldn’t aim his watch thing, but a bang will do! BTW Colin actually knows Italian, so this is perfect! HAHA River! Lol I hate @Charlie but SHIT his gf got caught hahahah yikes… Oh no Harry is hallucinating again! And here come a crazy ride, which Pedro and Taron actually felt because Matthew Vaughn wants to make everything as realistic as possible! Because Matthew Vaughn is the devil!! Okay this is hella intense for not being a fight scene but also funny because of them yelling! Lol they stopped because of Eggsy pulling the parachute (tb to TSS) but it’s an American flag wow how American! And the old man said that was the best shit he’s had in a while, so I guessed it all worked out!

Okay cabin scene, Eggsy greets his bf again yay but THERE ARE SHOOTERS SHIT also nice @whiskey really cool fight scene and DIANA PRINCE 2.0! Okay Harry just shot Whiskey and oh no Eggsy don’t blame yourself! It’s not your fault, really it’s not! But don’t yell at Harry, he just saved your life with that cologne lmao… Okay I don’t like Eggsy being mad at Harry :( OH SHIT WUDDUP CHARLIE JUST BLEW UP HIS GF yikes sucks. Btw Merlin and Ginger working together is amazing, they are a new ship!

The president sucks pt. 2 (again, Trump?) Wow this human in cage thing is crazy, dystopian shit, actual yikes! Not to mention everybody has the “dancing disease” lmao! Look, merlehad! Haha so apparently Harry should know Merlin’s favorite singer but he doesn”t rip

Thought the lawyer was Merlin ngl

Ugh Eggsy is sad, Harry make him feel better! MARTINIS! Oh shit, this is going to be emotional. Eggsy talking about Tilde to Harry, but Harry loves him. And god, talking about when he was shot by Valentine. Not thinking of anything, anybody, because he never loved anybody… Brings me back to when he wanted to go back to his mother while he still had amnesia, who most likely passed away :( Please Harry Hart, I know you love Eggsy. Somebody love him. He says love is “worth living for”, and he lived for Eggsy.. WHAT IF HE thought of Eggsy when he was dying, but he didn’t say anything here because Eggsy had just told him that he has a gf SHIT SHIT SHIT no no please hartwin no 

Aw sorry Whiskey :( He lost his gf, but now he is vengeful… wow okay this is a lot

MERLIN IN A KINGSMAN SUIT! YES MERLIN, I LOVE YOU, YES YES YOU LOOK SO FINE!  And the machete is his haha! Wow a baseball and bat, so American.

And so we are here, Cambodia, and SHIT LAND MINE. No no no no, this is where it happens. WHY DOESN’T THE FROZEN THING HAVE MORE THAN 1 USE what kind of faulty fucking kingsman/statesman shit is that if it only has 1 use WHY DIDN’T YOU CARRY MORE MERLIN WHY YOU’RE SO STUPID NO SORRY YOU’RE NOT STUPID ILY BUT WHY   :(((( Merlin sacrificing himself for Harry and Eggsy, because he is fully devoted to Kingsman. Eggsy trying to hold back emotion, but Harry and Merlin fully knowing what being a Kingsman is. “No time for emotion” FUCK

OH GOD.TAKE ME HOME, COUNTRY ROADS! Merlin singing in his scottish accent, yelling out like he was meant to. God, why. Merlin, such a brilliant man, WHY. And he’s distracting Poppy’s men to save Eggsy and Harry! Okay, DENIAL! NO. Did you HEAR that last note?! Merlin braced himself and closed his eyes, but he might’ve not died! Merlin, Hamish, survived! His legs may have been blown off, but we will see him in the third movie, legless or not! I refuse to believe Merlin is dead.

Elton John as low-key performer/drag queen is my FAVORITE! It’s Wednesday FUCK YEAH! Oh, Eggsy and Harry look so vengeful, and they are perfect fighting together! Absolutely amazing! Eggsy taking Harry’s blind side is amazing, and their fighting impeccable. THE BITCH IS BACK ON THE MOVIE THEATER, YES INDEED! ELTON JOHN JUST HIT A MAN I LOVE HIM! Harry Hart, Eggsy Unwin, spy husbands fighting side by side!

Okay, bye @ dogs! ! WOW ELTON JOHN IS A FRIEND YES HAHA, okay low-key thought Elton John was going to say “If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole” to be Harry’s Tilde but he said “you can get backstage passes” which is the same thing OKAY GOD ELTON JOHN X HARRY HART NEW SHIP?? YES YAY wow he blew a kiss to him I’m dead this is so gay I love it harry hart fucked elton john 

Charlie can go die okay thanks bye. Okay the one arm thing is dumb, Eggsy you have an advantage use both arms lol, anyways YES FOR MERLIN, REMEMBER MERLIN EGGSY!

Okay last fights. Poppy is crazy pt. final!  Julianne Moore’s acting is AMAZING, really great! But um, viva las vegans? That’s dumb. Okay anyways OH SHIT BOI WHISKEY Harry Hart knew it! FINAL FIGHT SCENE and this is amazing! Absolutely amazing fight scene of spy husbands vs. Wonder Woman 2.0! Whiskey lost somebody because of drug addicts, man wow Kingsman really focuses on real issues, like the environment and drug addiction, but the villains are some crazy people! 

Okay, Harry Hart is absolutely amazing, and he can fight amazingly now! Also, Colin Firth doing most of his stunts is AMAZING! Still can’t get the fact that Eggsy fit through the lasso! This is like the church scene in TSS and I love it! Epic fighting scenes with gore x rock music is A+!

YAY WORLD SAVED! Everybody is back! And the president sucks, so YAY FEMALE PRESIDENT! I think this is @ the American govt. and Trump LOL wow I love this movie.

SCOTLAND WINE BY KINGSMAN FUCK… Rest in peace Merlin :(

YES, GINGER IS FIELD AGENT! Okay besides the Roxy thing and tracker going inside vagine thing, this is a feminist movie! Female president, female statesman agent! FUCK YEAH!

Harry Hart and Eggsy Unwin, once again together… but Eggsy is getting married which, let’s not think about. MIRROR SCENE PARALLEL TO TSS AHH I want Harry Hart and Eggsy Unwin to love each other, to cherish each other, even if Eggsy doesn’t know “what the fuck is going on.” Alas, denial is key. 

FINALLLY WE SEE EGGSY’S MUM WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHOLE “come live with me” fiasco from TSS HMM ALSO WHERE IS DAISY @ Matthew Vaughn you owe us

Colin Firth’s monologue as Harry Hart made me realize, that I love Kingsman and will never get over it. It is only the beginning, and I can’t wait for more. This had so much emotion, despite it being so intense. RIP Kingsman agents, JB, Roxy, Merlin. Harry Hart, I love you. Hartwin, I will NEVER give up on you.

Oh boi Tequila is kingsman???? damn okay nice hat boi

FUCK

I’m going to cry at 2 am while singing Take Me Home, Country Roads (update: I DID CRY AT 2 AM)

F U C K !

If you read until the end, you are a TRUE Kingsman fan and true mutual/reader. Nice to know there are others out there who are just as crazy as me, but what can you do when you have such an amazing movie!