#tell’em king!!

[fonmythenmetz]

[ericleo108]

02/03/2023 Click here for Spotify or Apple Music. This is my 30th official release. “Bo Peep” is socio-political rap about American politics and religion. It’s an intellectually meditative track with an energetic beat. Some would probably think it’s controversial, especially if you're Christian conservative and religious. I took advice from Rick Rubin and made some music some people will probably hate because of their worldview. I didn’t have a real vision for the cover. I finally thought of the perfect cover concept for this two days ago but it’s too late.

The beat is from They Call Me Heat. The cover art was made by xoxodesigns from fiverr who did a great job. The track was professionally recorded, mixed, and mastered by Cracka Lack at Crack House Recording Studio in Lansing Michigan. You can stream or download the track wherever music is sold. Thank you for your support. Be sure to follow because new music is released every first, third and if there is a fifth Friday of every month.

Lyrics:

I been waitin in the bullpin       To make these hits and go get 'em Drink sloe gin with cole Bennnet  Feel like Weezy with no ceilings, No limits I pop pills, am gangsta, pack gats, and got a full clip I’m just kidding, I ain’t into all that bullshit

I’m not like you, I try to think things through Ask why not, and what it is, and why it is true Study arguments, see it from a different view Put ideas together, and see things through Support the poor people’s campaign the last dream of Martin Luther King,  The People’s History of the United States is a must and great read Congress beholden to the oligarchy and they lobby for cheap Say take money outta politics, and homie I’ll agree

I write books and make music All non-fiction uses I got it and the fuse lit I’m thrown up the duces Like bye bye bye, Miss America shy Cuz Trump grabbed her by the pussy and violated rights I can’t believe what you’ve become on 11/9 Your Johnny Walker eyes, with love lost and rye’d Get your shit knocked Get got, figure not, salk, rot  I need you to simmer down now Cuz I’m exactly what they call hot  A fallacy logician  Go and peep this syllogism want limited government But our military dominant Therefore I’m republican And the irony above my head I think the things that Tucker said Ad nothing to the subject matter

These people don’t think, they rather be sheep They call them Republicans and Christians you see They know one religion, no history, science, or perspective If they ain’t bo peep why do they call Jesus their shepherd I’m not like you, I try to think things through Ask why not, and what it is, and why it is true Study arguments, see it from a different view Put ideas together, and see things through Support the poor people’s campaign the last dream of Martin Luther King,  The People’s History of the United States is a must and great read Congress beholden to the oligarchy and they lobby for cheap Say take money outta politics, and homie I’ll agree

If Jesus not a blood cult Why you drink his blood bruh? Worship what he bludgeoned on  And eat the flesh from which you saw If Jesus not a blood cult Why you drink his blood bruh? Worship what he bludgeoned on  And eat the flesh from which you saw

I don’t use reason I fight for my feelings Oh god no, please, save me Jesus Don’t make me think critically  I like thinking I’m spiritually  Morally, ethically, and overall superior  I’m a good Christian Cuz i don’t listen  To any other world religion  I’m an atheist, to Alla,  Vishnu and Krishna  While I feel superior  And tell’em they live in sin

These people don’t think, they rather be sheep They call them Republicans and Christians you see They know one religion, no history, science, or perspective If they ain’t bo peep why do they call Jesus their shepherd I’m not like you, I try to think things through Ask why not, and what it is, and why it is true Study arguments, see it from a different view Put ideas together, and see things through Support the poor people’s campaign the last dream of Martin Luther King,  The People’s History of the United States is a must and great read Congress beholden to the oligarchy and they lobby for cheap Say take money outta politics, and homie I’ll agree

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

you know what, i'mma add some fuel to the fire, and describe seventeen as strippers, including their favorite song to dance to. do it. - matcha

I’m sorry matcha, adding music to this ended being too big of a task. I might one day but for now I’m gonna leave it with the descriptions

Seungcheol: Private party stripper, he’s fantastic at making a connection with clients, especially when at birthday or bachelorette parties. He can make whoever he dances for feel like the only person in the room.Song: Pony - Ginuwine

Jeonghan: Male revue, he dances mostly on stage and travels between locations. He has such a beautiful look and when he catches someone in his gaze as he rolls his hips he knows he has them entranced.Song: Pour Up - DEAN ft. Zico

Joshua: Dance club dancer, he dances at the club to keep people moving. It’s not uncommon for him to end up with people flocking around him and fawning over him as he dances, bringing in a lot of attention.Song: Like I Love You - Justin Timberlake

Junhui: Male revue. He has such a cool look when he’s on stage. He gets nervous and shy about talking to customers too much but he knows he has stage presence and his gaze makes people melt.Song: Sexuality - TAEMIN

Soonyoung: Strip club dancer, he does very well on stage but he loves when he gets to leave the stage and dance up on people. He has no qualms about showing off and during special events he’ll strip until he’s fully nude.Song: Swalla - Jason Derulo feat. Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign

Wonwoo: Male revue, he confident and cool on stage. He looks so composed and his moves are aggressive. He has the crowd swooning for him very easily, even though going into the crowd and interacting always makes him nervous.Song: Chained up - VIXX

Jihoon: Private party, clients love his duality. They love that he can look sweet and cute one moment, but then his demeanor changes as he grinds up on them. He swallows down his own shyness easily enough when his clients get so flustered.Song: Short Kings Anthem - TMG & Blackbear Artifical Love - EXO

Seokmin: Strip club, he’s always a crowd favourite. Strong features and stronger dance moves. He’s not shy about getting up close and personal with the crowd and his composure rarely cracks but when it does it only makes him more endearing.Song: Carry Out - Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake

Mingyu: Male revue, he loves that he gets to travel with it and see different crowds all the time. He has a knack for making connections fast. Someone in the crowd only needs to make eye contact once to feel like he’s dancing just for them.Song: Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

Minghao: Dance club dancer, he gets a lot of attention. Everyone wants a chance to dance with him and they spend a lot of time focused on how beautiful he is and how well he moves. He’s quiet but his gaze is enough to have people coming back.Song: Strawberry Bubblegum - Justin Timberlake

Seungkwan: Private party, he’s very personable and makes a connection with his clients very fast. They love how sweet he looks and how his movements and expression get more and more heated thought the performance until everyone in the room is sweating.Song: My House - 2PM

Hansol: Dance club dancer. He’s got such a relaxed and laid back vibe. But he’s also cool, he doesn’t dance with just anyone and everyone in the club is clambering to get close to him and see the way he moves and be in the presence of his charisma.Song: Pretty Boy Swag - Soulja Boy Tell’em Don’t Hurt Me - DJ Mustard, Nicki Minaj, Jeremih

Chan: Strip club, he has an energy and charisma on stage that few can match. His moves are powerful and the crowd is always very worked up by the time he starts working the floor, getting close to everyone and making everyone he dances for squirm and pant.Song: Mommae - Jay Park

[overwatch-fanatics-blog]

Could you do some McCree relationship headcanons? Thanks so much!

Ngl it’s 1:30 AM, so we put in some shit-post tier stuff in the nsfw, but it was funny to us in the moment. Hope this is somewhat what you wanted and that you don’t mind the nsfw at the end

King of PDA.

Loves giving you kisses on the forehead or cheek.

Very loyal obviously.

If anyone gives you shit while together at the bar, he’ll usually tell’em off, but if they continue being vulgar or too pushy, he’ll probably punch them, pay for your tab, and drag you out of there.

Super flirtatious with you, even as you get more comfortable with each other.

You could think you look like shit, and he’d still say you’re beautiful and call you sweetheart.

Pet names are a must. He’d call you sweetheart, sugarpie, muffin-baby, lovely, sweetie, baby, etc.

Darlin’ and sweetheart are his two favorites

If you didn’t give this full grown man a cute pet name he would be destroyed

Sass-master

You’d say “fuck me” when angry and he’d ask you when and where

He’s super chill around you, so even when you’re angry he’s still smiling his butt off

When you sleep together he takes all of the bed up, so you’ll probably have to lay on him

Moves in his sleep

Probably dreams about you and talks to you in his sleep

Could be something as sweet as “I love you” or something as creepy as “guess I’ll have to take you away.”

Sounds bad out of context, but he promises that the dream was sweet and well intentioned.

Country accent gets increasingly prominent as he gets more tired.

Would love to cook

Whether he’s the best or not, he still loves the idea of being homemaker-ish

Loves the little things like how you laugh and how goofy your hair looks in the morning

NSFW

You ride that ‘stache all night long.

Very giving.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy ;)

Can be dominant but loves when you take over.

High-key has a slight roleplay kink

Loves to roleplay as a horse lmao

Loves calling you princess

Body adoration 110% of the time

He loves starting things either late night or early morning

He’d probably have a preference for nipple play, but would also adore your thighs.

Expect hickeys on hard to hide places and everywhere else

Would whisper in your ears all sultry-like

[verdandir]

5 gifs that inspire your character!

I did a similar meme about a year back which I took rather jokingly (using marshmallows and Fluttershy gifs, since that one was ‘gifs that DESCRIBE your character...) so this one was a bit harder to do. Inspiration for Ver, narrowing it down, was actually very tricky?? Naturally the largest and most prominent source of inspiration for her is Amalthea ‘The Last Unicorn’, given both her voice claim and general nature (that whole transformed mystical creature thing...). Galadriel from ‘Lord of the Rings’ is another little nod to myself, though not a huge source, since she’s far grander than my little lady will ever be. But there are aspects of her, a touch of her other-worldly grace, her tenderness towards those like Sam and to Mithrandir, whom she loved in her way, etc... things like that which I draw from. That aspect of the Tolkien ageless elves for the ageless dragons of FFXIV. Then there are the various dragons in media... I’m using a gif of Smaug, though he doesn’t FIT for what Ver is. Still, it’s bloody hard to find good dragon gifs, ya know? So moving on? Next is Sarah from ‘Labyrinth’. A young naive girl-becoming-a-woman who stumbles into a journey about growing up. I like some of the things from this. (And I bloody love the movie. Though I think her decision at the end was DUMB, even as a kid. XD Keep the Goblin King, just tell’em to send the baby home!) Finally, Chezra of ‘Wolf’s Rain’. Created to sacrifice herself to open paradise, could heal her beloved wolves and soothe/sing them to rest/sleep... was horrified/screamed when they were harmed. Hunted down by those who wished to use her for their own ends. And that’s that. Hm... too long, sorry about that.

Tagged by: @mazinkhin Thank you ♥ Tagging: @lordofcrowns @wayward-whelpling @goloria @ofthefirstbrood @finalvalor @manawalls and anyone else who hasn’t already done this? (I’m late getting to it, I’m sorry... if you’ve already done it forgive and ignore!)

[sheinthatfandom]

Rush is out!!!! Passed out by Jon Moxley

THATS MY CHAMPION!!!

Ugh fucking Jericho seriously FBI you missing some people from 1/6 just saying

Oh Anna what have they done to you?

Nobody cares Jericho nobody cares TK!!!! Fucking stop giving him unlimited promo time this is why matches are always feeling rushed

Oh god she’s being so ducking whiny

I woulda just laid in the middle of the ring and take a nap

Mox is the first ever 2 time aew champion literally nothing can ever change that

YES FUCK’EM TELL’EM MOX!!!

Thank you it’s PATHETIC!!!

Hey Kip sabían

King of trademarks lol

And him beating Chris will prove that BCC is the new hartdungeon which is what I’ve been saying for months

[hellokpopoutfit]

me @ bighit : listen here, i need my boys to shine, not just shine-shine ya kno, i want the sun to shit his pants okay? Their outfits must be lit af, must bring fire to the red carpet idc, i want a katniss everdeen-shit-ish outfits get me? My boys are outstanding so does their outfits imma being clear?? I don’t want to know how much, i just want them to break necks, i want every-damn-one turn their heads to see them. You better call bbmas staff  and tell’em to bring some water bc bts will make stars sweating hard while questioning their sexuality and their path career. I want all the paparazzi and journalists loosing their shit around the boys asking to book them. I want all the stylists shakin realizing their error and directly send a cv to burger king okay? I want that the only sounds that my boys will hear during the red carpet are gasps, feel me enough ? My boys need to look expen$ive

Do i make myself crystal clear? bc i’m dead serious now

[rem-is-best-almond]

[Review] Dance with Devils Urie Sogami/ Urieganof Fuser’s route

The token Flirt of the group (or in his case , the fuck boy) who’s the vice president of the Student council. He’s childhood friends with Rem but his route seems to trample all over their relationship.  At first, I thought Urie was charming in a way but boy did his route slapped me in the face cause of how full of shit he was. Honestly, I sort of had expectations for Urie to NOT be as bad as what some reviews say but turns out he is and I honestly didn’t think his character development was anything great because he never owns up to the things he did wrong even at the end of it.

[Spoilers under the cut , this is a summary of his whole route, including some CGs] 

Left Door routes:      Rem   Lindo   Roen

Right Door Routes:  Mage  Shiki

<< Previous (Mage)    Next (Shiki)>>    Final thoughts >I

After finding out the truth about Ritsuka, Urie wants to use her to his own advantage to make Rem jelly of him so he requests Rem to assign him to watch over Ritsuka . He invades her dreams and acts all sweet taking her around his in-dream Carnival until onii-chan cockblocks him. Despite this, Ritsuka wants to confront Urie and finds him in the school’s Greenhouse with his thirsty fangirls clinging onto him. Things get heated up when Urie claims that Ritsuka is his special Butterfly ,so his 蝶々ｓ start chasing her and shoving her around. He pulls her into hiding but instead of defending Ritsuka , he just goes “Oh, but they aren’t bad girls” like they didn’t just tried to claw her eyes out over him =.=

Unfortunately, Ritsuka does trusts Urie so when he pulls the victim card that she was doubting their trust, she takes off her protective pendant and this gives him the chance to turn her into his own blow up doll that only knows how to say “UwU Urie” 24/7 == Also, he blames it on her for being stupid and because she was something important to Rem (being the Grimoire that is) . He goes to show her off to Rem but Rem doesn’t want to deal with his bullshit and leaves. Urie acts all sad because Rem-senpai won’t notice him but continues to treat Ritsuka as his blowup doll anyway. His UwU sessions with her are so gross and cringey even Mage and Shiki are sick of his behaviour. Rem gets reprimanded by his father for letting Urie have the Grimoire first so Urie thinks it feels great to surpass him but somehow thinks it’s boring too and I’m just 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

Due to the effects of Urie’s magic, Ritsuka gradually turns into a zombie and doesn’t even remember who she is. Rem asks if Urie had found a way to get the grimoire out of Ritsuka and tells Urie that he shouldn’t treat her as his blowup doll anymore or he’ll turn her into a real doll but Urie’s like “pfft, relax she won’t die, you’re just jealous.” (;¬_¬)  Ritsuka eventually starts calling out for her mother and brother despite her trance so Urie shits bricks and tries to gain control over her by forcefully kissing her and groping her but she manages to free herself from his spell and tells him to fuck off (You tell’em gurl) .

Unfortunately, Ritsuka goes back to being his prisoner in exchange for him helping an injured Lindo. Even so, she doesn’t let him treat her as his play doll so he gets butthurt and fucks his harem of girls instead. Ritsuka wants to know why he’s being such a jerk so she asks Rem about Urie. He tells her that Urie has an unquenchable desire to make everything around him his and would do anything to get what he wants.As a result, he was never satisfied with anything.So when it came to Rem, Urie wouldn’t stop comparing himself to him because he sees him as a perfect existence and wants to surpass him in hopes to gain some sort of satisfaction within himself. Ritsuka wants to know why Urie’s like this but Rem says that she should ask Urie himself if she wanted to get to know him better. So Ritsuka confronts Urie and he tells her about his family.

Urie’s father is no ordinary fuckboy cause with the amount of women he fucked , he ended up having 36 children and Urie’s the oldest. Because of this, his mother criticises his father’s womanising ways by fucking other men as well and is never home. She hates Urie because he was also following his father’s fuckboy ways. So Urie continues to fuck multiple women and eat their souls because he doesn’t believe in genuine love anymore. He also thinks that by surpassing Rem, he could somehow fill the void in his heart  ಠ_ರೃ

Ritsuka wishes for the best for him but he’s like “ You’ve lighted a fire under my ass by saying that so will you be my bride instead?” and at first, she agrees out of pity but he ends up kissing her in her dreams and abacadabra she’s madly in love with him now ! (´∀`) They go around the school during the school festival and at some point were chased by Urie’s 蝶々ｓ but manage to escape from them. Urie takes her to the dance yet Rem and Ritsuka end up being the king and queen so Urie gets jelly and pulls Ritsuka out of the ballroom because he realises that he can’t hand her over to Rem. They danced and he ends up confessing to her and she says that she loves him too. Jek crashes their party but Rem and Co come to the rescue. Jek is defeated but before he dies, he exclaims the method to obtain the Grimoire like he’s high on drugs and vanishes into ash.  

Devil route:

The King of Vampires, Nesta (I’ll call him Nestle from now on :)) ) invades the school with his hoard of Vampires. He’s after the Grimoire and because he’s too OP, Rem tells Urie to take Ritsuka and run. They run to Urie’s eden and find Lindo already awake. They explain the situation to him and Urie assures Lindo that he would protect Ritsuka. Lindo tells them to go to a cave where he used to do his exorcist training to kill time until the Grimoire vanishes. While in the cave, they found Professor Tachibana’s diary and find out that Ritsuka is actually a half devil. The diary also recorded down the method to make the Grimoire vanish from Ritsuka’s body, that is to turn her from a half devil into a full fledged one. Urie offers to do just that but since he’s an incubus, it can only be achieved if he fucks her ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So they bang in the cave but they don’t bang happily ever after because this ends up turning Ritsuka into his love doll ＼| ￣ヘ￣|／

Urie brings Ritsuka back to school to tell Rem what had happened and although he’s bummed that the Grimoire’s gone, he decides to go settle the score with the vampires and bring Maria back. He tells Urie that he has until midnight to figure out how to break Ritsuka from her love doll state as they had to go back now that the grimoire’s gone. Urie tries taking Ritsuka to the places they had spent time together but it’s all for naught as she doesn’t recall a single thing.

Devil end 1 (Good end):

Rem manages to rescue Marie  and Urie offers to take her back home along with Ritsuka. He leaves her at the front door and although Ritsuka saw both Lindo and Maria, she still didn’t break from her doll like state. In a last resolve, Urie decides to take her to the school’s garden for a dance, he kisses her and this magically returns her back to herself. In the epilogue, Urie brings Ritsuka back to his home in the demon realm as she’s one of them now and they ichaicha all the way in their love shack (￣ω￣)

Devil end 2 (Bad end):

Urie ends up bringing Ritsuka to see Lindo but she doesn't recognize him. So he brings her back to school as they patiently wait for Rem to bring Maria back, Hoping that seeing her would jog Ritsuka's memory.  Nesta comes to them instead and reveals that Rem and Co are dead. He then kills Ritsuka and heavily injures Urie. She returns back to herself right before she dies as Urie cries in anguish. In the epilogue, Urie kills Nesta in a fit of rage and eventually dies too. 

 Human route:

After the incident with Jek, Urie decides to follow Rem’s orders. He takes Ritsuka on a date and reveals to her the truth about his intentions.He also purposefully leaves the door to his eden open in hopes that she would escape. The next morning, he comes in to find Ritsuka waiting for him. She isn’t escaping cause she loves Urie to trust that he wouldn’t harm her. So Urie decides to strangle her to prove a point. Ritsuka refuses to believe that Urie had intended to harm her, saying that she wants to be happy with him. Urie finally gives in because he can’t bear to kill her so he’s going to ditch Rem instead. Rem’s of course not pleased that Urie’s betraying the Arlond family so he chases them all around the school and out into the streets. Ritsuka manages to fend off Rem and Co with her pendant and she and Urie both escape.

Human end 1 (Good end):

Urie decides to escape with Ritsuka to his dream carnival to kill time until the Grimoire vanishes.Rem and Co manage to catch up with them and he and Rem both have a duel to settle their differences. Seeing his friend’s determination to protect the girl he loves, Rem decides to give up on the grimoire just as the clock strikes midnight, saying that there’s no use to pursue it anymore.  Turns out, it was  a fake clock chime that Rem had anticipated because he just wants an excuse to give up on the grimoire lol. The real time passes and the grimoire finally vanishes. In the epilogue, Urie is playing Shogi with Rem ,who decided to stay with his friend in the human world, but he’s losing so he asks Ritsuka to try instead. She eventually loses to Rem but Rem praises her potential if she practiced. Rem then leaves the room as he had duties to attend to. Urie states that as long as he has Ritsuka, he doesn’t mind losing to Rem.

Human end 2 (Bad end):

Urie decides to put Ritsuka into a deep sleep in the dream world he conjured up until the Grimoire vanishes. He then goes to confront Rem. They both have a duel and Urie loses in the end. As Rem was planning to land a final blow, Urie exclaims that he’ll die where he wants to die and vanishes back into his dream world where Ritsuka was still sleeping. He ends up dying beside her. In the epilogue, Lindo laments about Ritsuka’s comatose state, having found her in Urie’s Eden when he woke up. He blames Urie for all of this but Azuna says that it’s possible that Ritsuka chose to stay this way and that Urie’s not all to be blamed.

Concluding Thoughts:

This route just made me want to flip a million tables and fling my Vita out of the fucking window multiple times (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻  The fact that Rem gets all the blame for Urie’s shit is just wtf and I don’t know how the writer even had the nerve to do that. Things literally went from ‘I’m doing this because I want to surpass Rem for my own selfish reasons’ to ‘I was just doing what Rem told me to’ and the plot fucking follows through with it. Urie never tried to genuinely fix the mess he made and everything falls back onto Rem’s shoulders ლ(ಠ益ಠლ . 

I know Urie’s scum at first so that makes him ‘realistic’ but honestly , this route cut his development short by completely changing his original intentions, that is he wanted Ritsuka for himself and wasn’t locking her up for Rem yet after he kissed her, every bad thing he did before was because he was following Rem’s orders like WTF (Ironically, Rem told him to stop TWICE) . At least in the devil route, he did feel sorry for treating Rem the way he did being envious of him and all but he never really felt sorry for what he did to Ritsuka and she just easily forgives him after he kisses her so I felt that part was kind of Bullshit.  

Also, I’m both surprised and Salty that Azuna and Lindo weren’t out searching for Ritsuka like crazy since I’m pretty sure Urie kept her with him 24/7 and it was for quite some time and not just a few days. Meanwhile, they’re everywhere in Rem’s route =.= 

Overall, I really disliked this route and the character development here wasn’t all that great imho. 

Left Door routes:      Rem   Lindo   Roen

Right Door Routes:  Mage  Shiki

<< Previous (Mage)    Next (Shiki)>>    Final thoughts >I

[londonmcauley]

Soulja Boy - Shoot It Up

.@SouljaBoy Mean Mugs On "Shoot It Up"

Affable nature be damned, Soulja Boy gets mean on “King Soulja 9” highlight cut “Shoot It Up.”

Not only does today mark Soulja Boy Tell’em’s 30th birthday, but the occasion also brings forth a new album from the zany and determined rapper. And while there are a fair number of listless moments on the eleven-track King Soulja 9 tape, there do remain some shining moments to be found. Namely in…

[kotilyrics]

Shatta Wale - Dweet Dirty lyrics

Shatta Wale – Dweet Dirty lyrics

Shatta Wale – Dweet Dirty lyrics

Shatta Wale – Dweet Dirty lyrics From one year wey man start sing

Me tell’em say me nuh inna hype hyoe thing

2020 we pile up the money

African Dancehall King

One more touch dem

Dweet dirty dweet dirty

When they touch dem

Dweet dirty dweet dirty

Spanish don touch

Dweet dirty dweet dirty

Nima youth

Dweet dirty dweet dirty

And me Spanish girl

Dweet dirty dweet dirty

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week 27

capsule reviews of the songs which debuted on the 14 July 2007 and 15 July 2017 editions of the billboard hot 100

7.14.2007

25) "Life's What You Make It," Hannah Montana 91) "G.N.O. (Girl's Night Out)," Miley Cyrus 92) "Make Some Noise," Hannah Montana 99) "True Friend," Hannah Montana

It might seem weird that I'm lumping in a Miley Cyrus song with all these Hannah Montana tracks, but I have some theories about Hannah Montana I think you might wanna hear! These are all impeccably crafted pop songs that I should not have listened to. You have to respect the craft, at least. A cadre of pop music professionals opened up a book of things that make listenable pop songs, and they managed to find the right voice to deliver these to teens, and all those people got to live in mansions and send their kids to college in Mustangs. These songs are the biggest pile of sonic trash since 2006, but it's not like the makers just shoved out junk, nah, this is precision engineering. These songs had a job to do, and now multiple people have chandeliers in their home. I get how 11-year-olds would like this, is what I'm trying to say.

52) "Because of You," Reba McEntire & Kelly Clarkson

I don't know how to explain this one. It's a cover of a sad song (albeit one with a nice tempo!) by a legend of country music and the original artist be... cause... it's... emotional? The original dealt with the effects of abuse, and Reba McEntire she decided it could be just a tad more ham-fisted? Most things don't need to exist, but this really didn't need to exist.

77) "Potential Breakup Song," Aly & AJ

This is a fine song, a nice piece of pop sweetness I knew I'd tasted before, but not quite so quality as to make the top 20, which means, via the transitive property, that "Lip Gloss" is better than every Beatles song combined. I hope that young tumblr user is still defending the virtues of this song, as there are many. Like, how do you write about a song when the definitive piece on it has already been written, y'know? What more can I add that the one tumblr user didn't already say? This song goes.

96) "Easy," Paula DeAnda ft./Bow Wow

"Just because I'm a teen, it don't mean that I'm slow" ...I just. I'm so tired. I didn't want to have to deal with a statutory rape banger. It's Independence Day. The sun's out, someone near me prolly got burgs and dogs on the grill, they're about to run some Pokemon at GDQ, I didn't want to have to deal with any of this. She was on The Voice. I wanted to talk about the single-most lopsided battle I ever saw on that show. This is unacceptable. Like, that line is out of context, I get it, Paula DeAnda is singing about how she wraps men around her fingers, that line is still a thing which exists within a song! This was awful.

98) "Until the End of Time," Justin Timberlake

apparently there's a version of this song with beyonce, and i just, i don't understand how to solo version charted. this was fine. j. timbies and timbaland calmed the hell for a second and made a fine slow jam, and it was a nice refreshing thing to hear after "easy," but. but beyonce! i wanted for to listen to the duet, with the music hero! why would you make me listen to this. why couldn't you have waited. what a disappointment, 2007. you have all collectively failed aly & aj. this is a confirmed breakup song, now, how dare you

nothing new in the top 20, but one more time for “potential breakup song”

7.15.2017

36) "Signs," by Drake

oh thank the lord a slow-ass song where drake tunelessly murmurs about how sad his extravagant life is. it had been a few weeks, i was worried he had found happiness. Like, can I take a minute to explain to you why Hannah Montana has more artistic validity than Drake? Those four songs were all bad, but they were all bad in ways that were distinct from one another. They were about rolling with the punches and acctepting things don't go your way, going out and having a fun time with the girls, being who you are and being so loudly and proudly, and how friendship was nice. You at least got thematic differences between Hannah Montana songs, I can tell them apart from one another. How is this song any different from any other Drake song? This is a point I've made in the past, but if Drake can put out the same song and be a millionaire, I feel I should be allowed to make the same critique so I can do the things I want to do with my life.

68) "Don't Quit," by DJ Khaled & Calvin Harris ft./Travis Scott & Jeremih

I don't want to do this with my life. OK, Calvin Harris, I get it, yoiu're the king of breezy summer jams. This might be the first time Travis Scott has ever been happy, and I appreciate that, but like... Ugh, I can't believe I'm gonna complain about this after complaining about another never-ending Drake slog, it's gonna sound inconsistent, but like I feel if anyone releases the same song five times in a row then they're purveyors of bullshit and we should expect better. Not a single cut off the Lorde album dropped, y'know. It's an adventurous album by a young woman who knows where she can take her voice, and nothing off that album charted, but this shallow-ass tool-assisted pop song like "You're an attractive woman, still!" is gonna be a top ten hit. (Worth noting: one woman in the top ten this week, and it's Rihanna, and technically she's a featured artist on her song.) You gotta give me something, man.

71) "No Complaints," by Metro Boomin ft./Offset & Drake

oh cool we also get trap drake, too. we get both drakes. what a treat. he's not even doing anything on this track. like he just says things over a beat. (it's a decent beat, metro boomin's good at this, the theme for 2017 is "known commodities doing everything they said they would do.") good lord, we don't even expect these people to try nowadays. just put your name on this track and say things with your voice and that is enough.

88) "On Everything," by DJ Khaled ft./Travis Scott, Rick Ross & Big Sean

I'll say this for DJ Khaled: he's hitting that happy medium, where there's enough variety in his songs that I don't automatically cringe when I see his name appear on the chart. Like, this is a completely different song from "I'm the One," and that's different from "Wild Thoughts," and while I don't always enjoy these songs, I can appreciate that it sounds like DJ Khaled actually made every song and didn't just copypasta something that sounded good for the next three or four singles. Like, I'm OK for not dinging him for "Don't Quit," it's not his fault that's what Calvin Harris decided all songs should sound like.

94) "Crew," by GoldLink ft./Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy

oh thank CHRIST it’s another kid from the south mumbling into a microphone. the charts have so far been bereft of this sort of music, i was worried it might not find representation this year, really really cool that dudes mumbling is a genre of music we’ve all decided is an acceptable thing to listen to, i just, ok, i think, just, let’s just, ok, let’s, let’s do, get to, let’s just say who won and just, just

Who won the week?

2007 and 2007 also won last week because fuck 2017.

2007: 14 2017: 13

I think I’m gonna take a break from reviewing the new pop songs next week because I’m just so tired of 2017′s shit. Also, in two weeks, 2007 only has two new entrants, and while I am sure that the tag-team dream of Three Days Grace and Soulja Boy Tell’em can take on all comers, I’m not going to make a full post about two 2007 classics and a thousand Future songs. Like, I have had this list of all the songs which debuted in 1997 waiting for a moment like this, so next week: The 1997 Catch-Up. Because cripes, I’m sick of 2017 music. 2007 had maybe the grossest song I’ve heard in this project so far (despite two Piles songs!), and I’m still completely over 2017.