#tell off your ex husband right in the song title

[jellogram]

song titles that make it obvious how much this man listens to classic country

[senipsenipsenip]

The Pines family sat at the table, quietly eating their breakfast, when Mabel slammed her hands on the table and shouted “KERMIT THE FROG”.

Dipper leapt forward to right his orange juice glass, gathering nearby napkins to sop up the puddle. “What?”

“Kermit the frog! He plays the banjo!”

“Yyyyes?”

Ford raised his hand. “Who’s Kermit the Frog?”

Stan snapped his head up from his plate. “Who’s Kermit the Frog? The Muppets, Pointdexter, you were around for The Muppet Show. They had a movie and everything.”

Ford frowned. “Muppets.”

“Yeah, they’re a riot! There’s this Bear whose got some great puns and this pig who really know how to throw a punch. You’d love it, they’ve even got a scientist!”

Ford raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you were such a fan of children’s television.”

“Children?!”

Dipper stirred his cereal. “I’m just impressed you remember all that. Yesterday you forgot you were married.”

“That’s because The Muppets are forever!” Mabel exclaimed.

“Wait, Stanley you were married?”

“Yep. Actually, unless I’m forgetting a divorce, I might still be married.”

“You didn’t,” Mabel chirped. “I’d have it on my Romance Chart if you did. You’ve missed a lot of anniversaries.”

“So has he!” Stan argued. “I’m not the only bad husband here!”

Ford spluttered. “Husband?”

Dipper frowned. “I think we’re getting a little too far away from why Mabel screamed Kermit the Frog and knocked my orange juice over.”

Mabel nodded. “Right, so, I was thinking of Mr. McGucket -

“Stanley you have a husband?“

“I was thinking of Mr. McGucket,” Mabel interrupted. “And how he could maybe help around the Shack. And he plays banjo! He could play banjo and people could put money in his lil banjo case like a real musician.”

At the mention of money, Stan leaned forward.

“But like, no one knows banjo music,” Mabel continued. “So I was like, maybe pop hits banjo? But then BOOM! Kermit the Frog! People love that frog. He could play the rainbow song. He’d be a hit!”

“Interesting,” Stan muttered. “Preying on people’s nostalgia to milk them for cash. I love it!”

Ford hummed. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea, Mabel. Activities like playing musical instruments have been proven to help patients with Alzheimers and dementia. Not that Fiddleford’s condition has the same root cause, but it may prove beneficial to memory recovery.”

“Eugh, don’t ruin this for me.”

“If playing an instrument helps with memory loss, maybe Grunkle Stan should learn an instrument,” Dipper suggested.

“Ooo!” Mabel squealed. “What about guitar? Or the piano? OH!” She clutched Stan’s arm with a fervor. “The triangle!”

Ford grimaced. “Maybe not that one.”

“Sorry, kid. I’m not exactly a music guy,” Stan shrugged out of Mabel’s grasp. “Let’s leave that to the professionals.”

Mabel frowned, but let the topic go.

Ford stood from the table. “Well, I happen to be visiting Fiddleford this afternoon. I can broach the topic and see what he thinks.”

Fiddleford, as it turns out, loved the idea. To the surprise of everyone, Fiddleford admitted that he had always wanted to play in a jugband when he was younger, but could never get over his stage fright enough to audition for the local band. Then he went off to college and then…everything else.

“Maybe I zapped away that scared bit enough to play!” he had cackled, knocking at the side of his head with his knuckles.

It was settled. “Fiddlin’ Fridays at the Mystery Shack with Fiddleford McGucket”. Dipper tried to point out the title didn’t make sense since it was a banjo, not a fiddle. Stan argued that “customers are suckers for alliteration”. The set up was just Fiddleford dragging an old rocking chair onto the porch and opening up his banjo case. Mabel had made a large glittery banner, but it was quickly absconded by Fiddleford’s raccoon.

“Tell your wife to give me back my banner!” Mabel had yelled, chasing the raccoon into the bushes.

“Ex-wife,” Fiddleford sighed sadly. “Apparently I was too emotionally available.”

Ford pulled at his hair. “Did everyone get married without telling me?”

“Excuse me?” A voice piped up. Fiddleford and Ford turned to see a little boy standing at the bottom of the porch. He was dressed in hiking clothes that were obviously new. In the distance, a young woman was unstrapping a baby from its seat in an SUV. Obviously city folk coming to the “wilderness” for the first time.

“Are you a real hillbilly?” The boy asked. Suddenly the door slammed open, Mr. Mystery striding through, eyepatch in place.

“Sure is!” Stan grinned. “Our very own genuine hillbilly just waiting to play you a tune! All you gotta do is put some of your mom’s money in his case there.”

The little boy’s eyes widened, turning around to race towards his mother.

“Stanley,” Ford admonished. “Fiddleford isn’t some show monkey to throw money at.”

“During work hours he is.” Stan turned to Fiddleford. “So, did Mabel teach you that song she was so excited about?”

Fiddleford sat frozen, watching the little boy yank at his mothers pants to try and get her attention, the baby beginning to fuss.

“Well…” Fiddleford cleared his throat. “Some good news and bad news fellas.”

Ford furrowed his brows. “What is it?”

“Good news is, my mind ain’t all broken.” Fiddleford hugged his banjo and turned to look up at Ford. “Bad news is I knows it ‘cause I still got stage fright.”

Stan scoffed. “Stage fright? C’mon it’s one kid and a couple o’ city slickers who would probably think you playing three wrong notes and spitting is ‘authentic’.”

“Stanley, be supportive.”

“I am! Look I’ve been at this job forever. All you gotta do is smile and if something goes wrong, you blame a ghost or something. They eat that up.”

Fiddleford shook his head. “But this is music. If’n I mess up music, ‘specially somethin’ they know. Music is real special to people, I can’t spoil it.”

Ford knelt down next to Fiddleford’s chair. “You don’t have to play that song Fiddleford. You don’t have to play at all.”

Fiddleford looked anxiously between Ford and the family. It seemed the little boy had finally gotten his mother’s attention and was excitedly pointing toward the porch.

“I…” Fiddleford shook his head. “I can’t let the little ‘uns down. ‘Specially not those ones.” As he said this, he gestured with his chin towards the other end of the porch where Dipper and Mabel sat bickering in lawn chairs. Mabel had returned from her raccoon chase covered in twigs and holding a surprisingly docile raccoon. Dipper was leaning away from the pair while trying to convince Mabel to stop feeding it gummy worms before it developed a taste for human food and tried breaking into the Shack.

Ford's gaze drifted to the twins. "Alright," he relented. "But you still don't have to play Mabel's song."

Fiddleford bowed his head.

"Yet!" Ford offered. "Not yet. She'll understand I'm sure."

Fiddleford frowned, looking unconvinced.

"Of course not yet!" Stan interjected. "You can't go playing the grand finale right out of the gate! You gotta warm 'em up first, keep 'em wanting more." Stan slapped his hand on Fiddleford's back. "If you give 'em what they want right away, they won't come back! Hold that one off until tomorrow or...uh...next week. Tease it or something."

Stan had started rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand as he spoke, a tell Ford was quick to recognize. It was the same one he did when he would "begrudgingly" let Mabel choose the movie for movie night or let Dipper rope him into another game of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons. Covering the most vulnerable part of his body while he let his emotions go soft.

Fiddleford seemed to perk up at Stan's words.

"Well," Fiddleford offered. "I do know some proper jugband music. Only, it don't have the same ring to it without a jug."

"We've got a jug!" Mabel cheered from the other side of the porch. It seemed the raccoon argument had reached enough of a truce that the twins were once again paying attention to the concert. "I used to keep pond water in it, it's in the kitchen!" She hopped off of her chair, lugging the racoon along with her like it was a rather expensive lap cat.

Dipper followed her. "Why did you have a jug of pond water?"

"Because, dummy, if I met a frog prince he would need something in the shack to remind him of home."

"Aren't you supposed to turn him into a person though?"

Whatever Mabel's retort was to be was cut off by the door swinging shut.

"There ya go," Stan grumbled. "You're getting your jug. Just in time too." He gestured toward the SUV. The mother was walking toward the Shack, one hand holding the baby, the other gripping tightly to the little boy's hand. The little boy gripped a few dollars in his fist, eyes alight with excitement.

Fiddleford looked frantic. "I can't sing and play the jug at the same time!" He gripped at his hat, pulling it down over his ears.

Ford sighed. "Then don't play the jug."

"It won't be the same!" Fiddleford shook his head. "A jugband without a jug that's...that's like a body with no heartbeat!"

The door swung open and Mabel emerged with an old ceramic jug.

"Here it is!" she exclaimed. "And it only sort of smells like pond scum."

"I don't think that will be necessary," Ford smiled gently. "It seems Fiddleford can't play both simultaneously."

Mabel frowned. "But it's a jugband. It's in the name!"

"How about we wait another day," Ford offered, patting Fiddleford awkwardly on the back. "Maybe someone in town will join you."

"Oh for Pete's sake, give it to me." Stan snatched the jug out Mabel's hand, sniffing at the top and giving a grimace.

Fiddleford stopped pulling at his hat, peeking out from under the brim. "You'll play?"

Stan grunted. "I'm not missing out on good money just because you have a case of the heebie jeebies. Besides, how hard can it be? It's like blowing on the top of a beer...er...I mean soda bottle."

Dipper crossed his arms. "Grunkle Stan, we know what beer is."

"Not from me you don't."

Mabel squealed. "It's happening! Grunkle Stan is learning an instrument!"

"It's not an instrument, Pumpkin. It's dishware."

"It's a scrapbookortunity!"

Mabel dashed into the house once more, leaving Dipper to grin at their Grunkle Stan.

The family was only a few yards away now. Fiddleford looked between Stan, Ford, and Dipper, and straightened up in his seat.

"Alright. Alright!" He clapped his hands together. "Stanley, you get down here with me, otherwise your feet are gonna get mighty sore from standing." He yanked at Stanley's hand until he sat beside the rocking chair with a grumble.

"Now when I tap my foot," Fiddleford instructed. "You blow on the jug. One short note at a time." Fiddleford tapped his foot in demonstration. "You got that?"

Stanley rolled his eyes. "Gee, I don't know. Seems pretty complicated for the guy without a PhD."

Mabel burst through the door, camera clutched in her hands. "Got it!"

"Excuse me?"

The little boy stood on the porch, approaching the banjo case with far more trepidation than before. Eyes darting between the assembly, he dropped a few dollars in the case.

"Is this enough to play a song?"

Fiddleford didn't bother looking at the money. He turned his gaze to Stanley, who shrugged and raised the jug to his lips.

Fiddleford grinned. "You know ‘Boodle Am Shake’?"

The little boy shook his head.

"Well you're about to!" And with that he was off.

By Fiddleford's standards, it wasn't a horribly complicated tune. Ford had heard him pluck out more complex riffs while waiting for the coffee pot in their dorm room to brew. But Fiddleford was smiling. His shoulders had dropped from around his ears, and he was nodding at the little boy to tap his feet along with him. Ford hid his smile behind his hands as he watched Stanley, eyes focused on Fiddleford's bare foot with as much attention as one would give to diffusing a bomb. Next to him, Mabel was snapping pictures of the pair. Dipper stood on his other side, wearing the small smile he tended to get when feeling introspective. Ford laid his hand on Dipper's shoulder, and Dipper leaned into the touch.

The mother was smiling at her little boy, her baby having finally stopped fussing. Maybe it wasn't the grand attraction Mabel had planned, but Ford thought it was worth far more than those few dollars anyway. Nothing could be worth more than his family standing around him, his closest friend singing again.

I know this song, it don't mean a doggone thing. Just do that good old Charleston swing. When you sing...

[shefanispeculator]

Album review: Gwen Stefani - Bouquet

Fans have been begging for a new Gwen Stefani album, and lo and behold us, we can finally say we have one. Bouquet, the singer’s first proper studio album in eight years (seven if you include her Christmas album, You Make It Feel Like Christmas) arrives after a few false starts. After initially teasing what many assumed was going to be a reggae-pop album in homage to her early No Doubt career, Stefani got married to country-singing husband Blake Shelton and felt inspired to pivot in another direction. Taking a more ‘70s, yacht rock approach with hints of country, Stefani takes influence from the music from her childhood while documenting where she’s at in her life right now.   

Kicking things off with the anthemic pop-rock single “Somebody Else’s,” Stefani makes it clear that she’s never looking back again after realising she deserved better during a previous relationship. “I don’t know what a heart like mine / Was doin’ in a love like that” she opens the song. Continuing to recognise her self-worth, Stefani sings, “If I could go back in time / I would erase you, ooh / But I could never go back there / I might be wild, but I ain’t that crazy,” in the second verse.

With her ex-lover out the way, the majority of Bouquet hears Stefani gushing about one thing and one thing only: her relationship with Shelton. Telling the story of how the pair blossomed and fell in love, the wholesome title track stands out as one of the album’s key moments. Boasting Shelton’s ability to make her feel as if she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, Stefani has never been happier on sweet ballad “Pretty,” while on the uptempo “Late To Bloom,” she proclaims that “good things come to those who wait” after having to hang on until she was well into her 40s to meet the man of her dreams. 

For an album that could alienate a lot of long-time listeners of Stefani, she appears slightly more on brand for the record’s latest single “Swallow My Tears.” The Queen of Emotive Songwriting, fans might argue that the song feels like an accidental ode to some of Stefani’s previous heartfelt material. The same could be said for another standout, “All Your Fault,” which features an irresistible chorus that wouldn’t sound out of place on 2016’s This Is What The Truth Feels Like. Rounding off the release with her duet with Shelton, “Purple Irises,” the choice feels rather fitting. After all, the evident case is that this album wouldn’t exist without his influence. 

Just like a bouquet of flowers, Gwen Stefani’s most recent offering, Bouquet, is a pretty album packaged with 10 tracks. Is it her most exciting? No. Does it further demonstrate her ability to be a musical chameleon and a top songwriter, however? Yes. Do we secretly deserve the album she intended to release a few years back? Most definitely.

[alicewonderao3]

Title: The Fool

Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Haley Hotchner, oc female character.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x oc female character

Summary: What happens when you run into your boyfriends ex wife on a date? Should you really go confront her about how she’s messing with his feelings before you talk to your boyfriend?

Word count: 1,391

Authors note: Okay, so I was inspired by another song for this one, as usual. I’m still running with the whole Haley cheated on Aaron theory, at least for this story. I wrote this quickly and barely edited it, so I had no beta and all spelling and grammar mistakes are mine. I borrow the song lyrics from the song that inspired me: ‘The fool,’ by Lee Ann Womack. I don’t own the song. Tagging @sadgirlzluvdilfs

Warnings: slight angst, some fluff, mentions of cheating.

It was a rare Friday night off, no new cases, nothing urgent, so Aaron had picked me up for a date. I'd slipped into his favorite dress of mine, a gorgeous green sundress with tiny white flowers scattered across the fabric. The hem hits my thighs, and with my dark curls left loose around my face, pulled back a flowery clip, my honey-brown eyes sparkle as he leads me into the nice restaurant.

It's also a night he doesn't have Jack, so I already know he's gonna take me back to his place, which will be nice, a rare night sleeping with him. We order our drinks and as we sit, someone from the FBI notices Aaron as they walk by. He gives me an apologetic look as he gets pulled into some shop talk, and I stand up, letting him know I'm heading to the bathroom while he talks.

On my way back from the bathroom, I pass through the bar area and spy her. Haley. Aaron's ex is there, a new man on her arm. One of many, anyway. She throws her head back and giggles and flirts and my heart and mind have their internal battle. I only know her from pictures I've seen of her in Aaron's apartment, pictures he keeps because Jack's in them.

Aaron and I have been dating for a few months now. He's a handsome man, reserved to those who don't know him, but his love of musicals and his warmth drew me in. Along with those big brown eyes of his. He keeps telling me it's not the right time to meet Haley yet. He's barely a year out of his divorce, sure, and I know enough to know it wasn't a good one.

You don't know me, but I know who you are. Mind if I sit down?

I know I shouldn't approach her, but I can't help it, tapping her on the shoulder, as her date goes to the bathroom. She turns to face me, her eyes landing on mine. I take a deep breath and introduce myself. She shakes my hand, her voice hesitant. "Alice, right, you're dating my husband, if memory serves." She says, and I can't help but clear my throat. "Ex-husband."

My words fall into silence, and she glances around me. "Where is Aaron?" I can hear the want in her tone, and the excitement as she fixes her hair. "He's at our table, still," I say and I watch her noticeably deflate at my words. "Can I buy you a drink?" I ask her, and she nods. She offers me the chair to her date has vacated, and I buy her and myself a drink.

If you've got a minute, I'll buy you a drink, I've got something to say...

The bartender brings it to us, and she eyes me as she sips it, her eyes narrowing as she takes in my outfit. We make pointless small talk about Jack and the weather before she says, "What do you have to say to me, Alice?" I swallow down my drink and meet her eyes. "You're leading Aaron on."

She doesn't say anything to me. She doesn't deny it. She just flicks her blonde hair back, her eyes meeting mine. "So? He was mine first." I nod, meeting her eyes. "I'm not disputing that. But as much as he's trying to move on, you're making it hard for him. What, is he supposed to pine over you forever, while you go on dates?" I ask her, setting my glass down, my honey-brown eyes meeting hers.

I'm the fool, in love with the fool, who's still in love with you...

I sigh. "Haley. You divorced Aaron. I can't pretend to know why, since Aaron won't tell me, but I can guess. Sure, he says his job had a hand in it. The late nights, the missed anniversaries, the long periods away. But I know that's not all of it." I said, my words falling into silence.

I know she knows what I'm getting at when she takes a sip of her drink and sighs. "What's your point, Alice? If I want to flirt with him I will." She says, and I sigh. "You cheated on him, Haley. He may think I don't know, but I do. I can see it. I don't have to be a profiler to see how you hurt him."

She stays silent, waving her hand for me to continue. "I see it. It's in the way he holds me closer when men approach me when we're out together. It's in the way he freezes when I get a text message or a phone call. It's in the way he's constantly checking in on me, making sure I know how much he cares about me. Sending me small things. You hurt that man, and you expect to just keep him on string, forever?"

I know love, is a fragile thing. And I'm trying hard to make it last. But it ain't easy, holding onto my dreams when he's holding onto the past...

She sighs. "It's not fair, Haley, and you know it. I love Aaron. He means the world to me but he won't take that step and tell me he loves me, even if he feels it. You don't love him, that's a fact. I've seen you around. But you hold Aaron's heart in the palm of your hand, and it's breaking right in two."

Just one more thing, before I go. I'm not here to put you down...

I see a sort of guilt on her face, as I finish my drink, unaware of Aaron, standing behind me, his eyes moving between me and Haley as I pour my heart and soul out. "You say that you're moving on, that you're in love with someone else. It's cruel to tease Aaron that way, holding the promise of your love in front of his face when you don't mean it. He doesn't deserve that. No one does. Let him move on. Let him be happy, for crying out loud. We both know no one deserves that more than he does."

Haley speaks, for the first time since I started speaking seriously to her. "I know." It's just two words, but I don't attribute it to the fact that Aaron's standing behind me. "I know you love him, Alice. And you're right. It's cruel. Especially when you consider what I did to him. He didn't deserve that."

I nod. It's not a lot, but it's something. "I should go. Aaron's probably wondering where I am." She nods. "See you around, Alice. Oh, and good luck."

I turn around and there he is, looking at me. For a second, I wonder how much he heard. He says nothing to me, just pulls me close, and wraps his big strong arms around me. I can smell the cologne he's wearing as he holds me, his voice a whisper in my ear. "I love you, Alice."

I look up at him, pulling back. "I love you too, Aaron." I know he's heard everything when his hands cup my face, as he stares down at me like I'm the most precious thing in his world. "So much, you don't even realize it." He says, his voice is husky and soft. "I'm not holding onto the past, Alice. I'm looking forward to my future, to our future."

His words make me tear up a little, and he wipes a tear that slips down my face. "Now, let's go have dinner, I wanna take my favorite girl back to my place and show her just how much she means to me." I lean up and kiss him, my lips soft and warm on his, as his large hands hold me close.

He guides me back to the table, and as we walk out, I see Haley at the bar with her date. She's still flirting, still giggling, but as her eyes meet mine, I see a sort of understanding flash through her eyes. She nods, holding her drink up as she spots my small hand entwined with Aaron's. She doesn't acknowledge Aaron standing beside me, just smiles, and turns her attention back to her date.

I'm the fool, in love with the fool, who's no longer in love with you...

[sadbi-hours]

I was hoping for a blackout, but at least I got a bingo! The list of fics and their square fills are below. I hope you like these fics as much as I did!

@ficreadingchallenge

Free Space: Obviously by lovelybattle

Fandom: Top Gun: Maverick

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin/Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Summary: Jake groaned into the kiss, gripping at Rooster’s shoulders. Rooster pushed him against the door, hand roaming up and down his sides. He reached under Rooster’s shirt, running his fingers over the muscles that flexed under his touch.

Rooster groaned and moved his lips down to Jake’s neck, making Jake moan under his breath. “Um- I should probably-” Jake fell off into a moan as Rooster sucked a spot into his pulse point.

“Hang on I-” Jake tried again, “Rooster, I need-”

Rooster just hummed, running his tongue over the mark. “Bradley, I need to tell you something.”

Rare pair: with and without by thedevilsgarden

Fandom: Yellowjackets

Pairing: Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor

Summary: It's Jackie's brilliant idea to rent out the guest room, to add another person to this fucking mess. And even though Nat hates the idea, she isn't stupid enough to pick a fight over it. She and Jackie have been arguing enough as it is.

(or, Jackie and Nat are girlfriends on the verge of a break-up, until a cute blonde nurse moves in with them)

Small Fandom (<1000 fics): Fuck My Label. Fuck My Ex-Husband. And Fuck Deacon Claybourne by orphan_account

Fandom: Nashville

Pairing: Juliette Barnes/ Rayna Jaymes

Summary: It didn't relieve any of her annoyance that Juliette was being, well, normal.

Not the peroxide drama on legs that Rayna really wanted right now to take her mind off of things. Talking about her feelings – shit, having feelings.

Feelings that ranged from 'fuck my label' to 'fuck my exhusband' to 'fuck Deacon fucking Claybourne.' Three feelings that Rayna was familiar with inside and out. Rather acutely as of late.

Under the Influence: Late Night Wanders by Ember_andRain

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter/ Pansy Parkinson

Summary: When Harry shows up drunk in the middle of the night, Pansy takes pity on him and decides to take him back to the Gryffindor common room; turning a boring evening into a rather eventful night.

Long Fic (>25,000 words): the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine by inlovewithnight

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt/ Roy Kent/ Keeley Jones, Rupert Mannion/Jamie Tartt

TW: Dead Dove, please read tags

Summary: Rupert had blackmail material and offered Jamie a chance to buy it back--with his body, not with money.

Jamie would do anything to protect his people. He didn't know how far anything would go.

Superpowers/ No Powers AU: Accidental Perfidy by EvilPeaches

Fandom: Split (2016) & Glass (2019)

Pairing: Casey Cooke/Kevin Wendell Crumb, Casey Cooke/Dennis

Summary: Twenty-two year old Casey doesn't expect to meet someone she connects with at her Abuse Support Group. She never thought she would let anyone in, anyone beyond the protective wall she's meticulously built around her soul. Kevin is different though, different from other men. He understands her, understands her pain. For once, Casey thinks she can live freely again. Only, Kevin doesn't tell her everything. No. He left something out. Otherwise known as your boyfriend neglecting to mention he has DID.

Lyric Title- Listen to the song too!: for you, the sun will be shining by margctbishop

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Ted Lasso/ Rebecca Welton

Summary: Most days, Ted Lasso thinks he's a pretty good dad.

Today is not one of those days. Today, Ted Lasso somehow managed to lose his son in a public park.

aka "we've only just met but my kid is obsessed with you and I don't know why, I'm so sorry, I really don't kn– oh wait... you're kinda cute" with a dash of soulmatism

Slow Burn: jolie laide by canardroublard

Fandom: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Pairing: Illya Kuryakin/ Napoleon Solo/ Gaby Teller

Summary: It's a strange term, Napoleon thinks. Jolie laide. "Pretty-ugly". A self-contradiction, banal words elevated in American ears by the exoticism of French. He's never understood why it's applied to girls with strong jawlines and sharp features. "Vogue girls". He's always thought it much more fitting for those with frayed and damaged edges on the inside. For those with tangled snarls of history but hope for the future.

Maybe all three of them are jolie laide. In their own ways.

(Or, the fashion AU which was supposed to be short but sprouted wings and flew away from me, featuring photographer Illya, model Gaby, and Napoleon, who brings everyone together.)

Unfinished/ In-Progress: Lady Flowers by beepboop (permanganato)

Fandom: House of The Dragon (TV)

Pairing: Alicent Hightower/ Rhaenyra Targaryen

Summary: Otto Hightower brings his bastard daughter to King’s Landing in the hopes that she might become close to the new Heir to the realm.

Found Family: A Dweeb in a Leather Jacket and a Punk Band by beezyland

Fandom: Orange is The New Black

Pairing: Lorna Morello/Nicky Nichols

Summary: Despite what her band says, they don’t go to that tiny, grimy 24-hour diner after every gig because Nicky has a crush on the cute, clumsy diner girl. Nicky just likes the milkshakes. And maybe she kind of owes that cute, clumsy diner girl her life.

High School/ College AU: if you could see that i'm the one by blanchtt

Fandom: Barbie (2023)

Pairing: Margot Robbie's Barbie/Gloria

Summary: She gets her exam back from her professor and a proposition along with it – tutor a fellow student for a few extra points.

Barbara hardly has to think about it. She has free time since volleyball ended, and she’s aiming for veterinary school after graduation, which is nothing if not competitive. If there’s anything she can do to up her GPA over her classmates - as well as help a fellow student, of course - then why not.

Future AU: I'll settle for the ghosts of you by FunkyinFishnet

Fandom: Sense8

Pairing: Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar/Rajan Rasal

Summary: When Rajan witnesses Wolfgang and Kala embrace, Wolfgang lifting her up off her feet while smiling more broadly than Rajan has seen so fat in the few hours that he has known the man and with Kala’s happiness seeming to make her face sparkle, he thinks, “Oh, I *see*.”

Rajan thinks Kala really doesn't love him in the same way that he loves her, and there’s no way that Wolfgang can love him at all.

Gift Giving: but if we could kiss and just cut the rubbish by mirniy_miro

Fandom: The Witcher (TV)

Pairing: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg

Summary: Jaskier's love is in every word of his songs.

Yennefer and Geralt figure their own ways out.

Bodyswap: Eat Your Heart Out, Wolfgang Pauli By ishie

Fandom: The Big Bang Theory

Pairing: Sheldon Cooper/Penny

Summary: Of course, the answer is standing right in front of him. In the mirror. There's a bed and wall reflected behind him, a riot of color that clashes with tanned skin and rumpled pajamas and a cloud of blonde, blonde hair.

He's Penny.

Fanart: we are strange in our worlds [podfic] by aethel

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: Eleventh Doctor/Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Eleventh Doctor/Rory Williams

Summary: "Your boyfriend doesn't like me," the Doctor said, then winced. It sounded even more pathetic out loud.

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Reader : BAILE CON MI EX

A/N read this first ——> 💃🏻

“So are you and Y/N good?” 

Urban furrows his eyebrows, “Yeah, more than good. Why do you ask?” 

Nickie shrugs “Her new song that’s all.” 

Urban was currently in the studio with Jack, Nickie and Clay. 

“What about it? I haven’t heard it but she did tell me she was going to be releasing a few songs during the week.”

“Maybe it was during your break but her song title and what it says had me questioning if you two were good.” 

Urban sighs “So are you going to tell me what it says?” 

“She’s trending on Twitter, wait you are too.” Clay says.

Urban then decides to check Twitter himself and it leaves him even more confused. 

He saw people saying all different kinds of stuff.

Mainly “Is Urban okay?” 

Or “Was this with Maluma.” 

And the last one was, “Not Y/N dancing with her ex when she has a whole husband and kid.” 

“What the actual fuck?!!” Urban says. 

“So what does the song say?” Clay asks 

“Just that she danced with her ex and basically she felt some type of way and all the feelings came back up again.” Nickie answers.

“Dude I’m sure it’s just a song, she probably doesn’t mean anything by it.” Jack tries to reassure his best friend. 

Urban tries calling his wife but it goes straight to voicemail. 

“She’s not answering me.” 

“Urb, relax before you do or say something you’ll regret later. Let her explain before jumping into conclusions. She married you, you two have a beautiful daughter, if she felt some other way she wouldn’t have settled with your ass.” Jack says meanwhile texting his wife and letting her know what’s going on so she can warn Y/N. 

“Your wife puts out a song talking about her ex, you’ll be cool with that?” 

Jack shrugs “No but to be fair she’s only had one ex and he was a dick so I know she would never.” 

Urban scratches at his beard “I need to smoke and think about this bullshit.”

He stands up. “This was probably when she went to Miami and people on her comments said she danced with that fucker.” 

“Talk to her first Urb, without coming at her neck.” 

“Yeah whatever, I’m out.” He says and walks out the studio and into his car, driving home.

******* 

“Bitch, why did my husband text me asking if you’re cheating on Urban.?” Your best friend asked you on FaceTime. 

“Huh? Why would he ask that?” 

“Jack said something about a song and that  you are trending on Twitter.” 

“Shit.” You say.

“Shit? What shit? Y/N que hiciste?.”

You were about to answer her when you heard the front door being slammed. 

“Jess, I'll call you later. He just got here.” 

She’s nodding “Suerte.” 

“Y/N?” Your husband is yelling.

You look down to the baby camera to see your daughter still taking her nap. “Don’t be too loud, Cassie just went down for her nap.” You say walking into the living room. 

“What’s with the song? And what people are saying on Twitter?” 

“It’s just a song babe, I can’t control what people say online.” You shrug. 

He chuckles. “So you just wrote that song, recorded and put it out for shits and giggles? No meaning at all.?” 

“I mean no but It’s not what you’re thinking.” 

He rolls his eyes at that. “When you went to Miami a few weeks ago, did you dance with your ex?.” 

“What? What does that have to do with anything? I told you about what happened. I thought you were over that situation.” 

“Did you or did you not write a song about dancing with your ex.?” 

“Yes but-“ 

“No fuck that.” He says and starts walking towards your shared bedroom. 

“Urb, Urban let me explain.” You say, following after him.

“Explain what? We’re married, we have a daughter together. Why would you make a song about feeling your ex? What kind of shit is that?” 

He’s sitting down on your bed glaring at you. You can’t help but smile and look at him. “Oh so this is funny to you? Cool.” 

You go up to him and straddle his lap. “Hey.” He tries to push you off. “Baby, look at me.” 

“What? I can’t believe you right now. I thought we were finally in a good place and you go and do that. It’s out there, people are sending me shit saying how you played me.” 

You grab at his chin and make him look at you. “Do you remember when the whole video with Stassie came out? And how I ended things with you?” 

He rolls his eyes, “How can I forget?” 

You nod, “Do you remember how I was with some guy just spending time and making you jealous?” 

“Y/N I don’t want to talk about that right now.” He tries to stand up but you hold your place and hold him down on the bed.

“You and I, we met up and we drank, we spent the whole night together. We danced, you were technically my ex boyfriend. The song is somewhat about you.” 

“What?” 

You nod smiling, “It won’t make sense to anyone but it makes sense to me. We were broken up and I was missing you and the night we decided to meet up was when all those feelings came back and I knew I couldn’t stay away, even though I tried really hard.” 

“So the song is not about some other guy?.” 

You shake your head. “No, I promise. Babe, we’re better than we’ve been in years, you really think I’d ruin that? Ruin our family? No, you’re stuck with me.” 

“Please, next time just  give me heads up when you’re about to release a song that can cause shit to hit the fan.” 

“Wait, who translated the song to you? Or was it just Twitter and Instagram that filled your head up with these scenarios?” 

“Nickie did.” 

You roll your eyes, “I’m about to beat his ass for that. But I promise you, it’s not towards anyone else and it doesn’t have a deeper meaning to it.” 

He nods “I was worried and hurt when I saw what people were saying online.” 

“Understandable, I’m sorry you had to see that. I was going to tell you about it but you were out late last night and then you left early this morning.” 

“So any other songs I need to know about?.”

“Well…..” 

“Y/N!!” 

You laugh, “I’m kidding, totally kidding.” 

You both just sit there, wrapped in each other's arms until you hear movement come from the baby monitor. 

“Princess is waking up.” Your husband says. “Let me go get her.” 

You get off from him so he can go get your daughter. 

You grab your phone and FaceTime your best friend.

“Is he alive?” You hear Jack ask. 

“JACKMAN!” 

“What? I’ve been calling him like crazy. I need to know if your best friend killed my best friend. Wait no, I don’t want to know because then I’ll be an accomplice.” 

“Do you really think Y/N will kill her husband? The father of her baby?” 

“YES SHE’S CRAZY LIKE THAT.” 

You laugh, “He’s well and alive dramatic ass.” 

At that your husband and daughter walk into the room. 

“Says you, I don’t see him. URB BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED SAVING.” 

“Bubs. How would you know if he blinked if he’s not on camera?” Jess asks him.

You shake your head “Look at him, he’s fine.” You then turn the camera towards Urban and Cassie. 

“THANK FUCK YOU’RE ALIVE.” Jack says. 

Urban is rolling his eyes, “Bro you’re so dramatic.”

“Oh okay, you were about ready to punch the wall at the studio earlier.” Jack tells him. 

“Well we’re happy everything is okay between you two. Forgive Jack and his dramatic tendencies, poor baby has been on timeout.” Jess says. 

“Give him the kitty already Jessica, he needs to release  all that tension.” You say. 

“Bitch I’m sore, he needs to let me heal.” 

“Okay and that’s us hanging up. Bye, see you tomorrow for dinner.” Urban says and hangs up the phone. 

You smile and look at him carrying your daughter.

“What?” He asks. 

You shake your head. “I could never ruin this, our family.” 

He smiles and bends down to peck your lips. “I love you my crazy wife.” 

“I love you.” 

************** 

Side note: Originally. This fic was going to go a whole different route but I feel like I’ve made them suffer long and enough, they need some happiness 😂😂😂

TAG LIST

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[holylulusworld]

Htfbh (1) - Boulevard of broken dreams

Square filled for@anyfandomangstbingo​​​: Free Space - Cheating

Title: How to fix broken hearts (1) - Boulevard of broken dreams

Summary: It’s over, and you are not ready to move on. Are you? What about the man stepping into your life? Is he ready to move on?

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader; Andy Barber x Reader

Word Count: 2,3 k (minus the lyrics)

Warnings:angst, language, cheating, sad reader, Steve being an asshole, mentions of divorce, mentions of the desire of having children

Rating: Mature

A/N: First chapter got inspired by Boulevard of broken dreams by Green Day. Lyrics in Italics taken from the song.

AFG ANGST BINGO masterlist

How to fix broken hearts masterlist

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me, and I walk alone

I walk this empty street

 On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

 Where the city sleeps

 And I'm the only one, and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk a-

2 am, and you are still wide awake. The clicking clock on your nightstand reminds you of the lonely hours you spent waiting for your husband to come home and join you for dinner – or even recognize your existence.

Once upon a time you and Steve were the perfect match. A power couple meant to rule the world or, get happy. These times are long gone.

He comes home right after 4 am, waking you as he loudly slams the door shut. Months ago, he would’ve sneaked into your bedroom to hide he came home later than expected. Now it feels like he wants to get caught.

Not that you didn’t see the lipstick stain his white dress shirt or smelled the cheap perfume on him. You saw the love bites and scratches she left all over his body. Once your property, now someone else’s playground.

“Did I wake you, honey?” he whispers, believing you are going to ask him where he has been. “Y/N, doll?”

You don’t answer him, pretend you are still fast asleep. He doesn’t need to know you waited for him to come home and tell you this is all just a bad dream. “Sorry if I woke you.”

Silence greets your husband as he just looks down at your sleeping form. You hold your breath and push the tears away as he starts to strip his clothes off. He doesn’t even shower anymore to get her stink off his skin. Steve lies next to you, his wife and partner, reeking like another woman.

He tips your shoulder, hoping to wake you, to finally get what he wants. A fight ruining your marriage. – As if he didn’t do it himself the moment he started fucking his ex.

You always knew Peggy Carter never left his mind. Nothing and no one could ever get rid of her.

The moment Steve told you, Peggy is back in town; you knew he’ll fall for her all over again. It was only a matter of time, a ticking bomb making you count the days until your marriage got thrown under the bus for the sake of Peggy Carter’s happiness and Steve’s libido.

“Baby? Do you want to talk?” he tries again. Steve is a coward when it comes to breaking things off. He stayed with Peggy until she left him, even though he knew, she was seeing someone else the whole time. “Y/N?”

You take a deep breath, ignoring Steve is wiggling behind you to get you to talk to him. Now is not the time. You will not fight with him. No. This is not your style, never was. If he wants you to fight in a war you don’t can’t win, you rather surrender and admit your defeat.

Since the day Peggy returned you tried anything to make Steve see you are the woman by his side. You dropped everything and turned your full attention toward Steve. You changed your hair, your style, cooked and cleaned the house, even gave up your job to have a baby with him.

All for nothing…

“Goodnight,” Steve finally says, turning around without kissing your neck like he used to do.

Another thing you miss, but this can’t be helped. You can tell Steve only stays with you to make sure you are the one ending your marriage.

The words you want to say are stuck in your throat. Yes, you want to scream, yell and cry but there is no use. Your Steve is long gone. If he ever was your Steve…

“Mrs. Rogers,” the lawyer you called three days after Steve came home late once again greets you with a bright smile. He guides you toward his office, offering coffee and a warm hand on the small of your back. “How can I help you?”

“I want to file for divorce, Mr. Barber” you always were the kind of person getting straight to the point. This meeting is no exception. “I know I was very vague on the phone but I—” you shake your head, take a deep breath, and sit down opposite his desk. “I wanted to give him one last chance. Yesterday was our wedding anniversary and he not only forgot it was our special day, but he also dared to fuck his ex that night too.”

“Oh,” Andy clears his throat, nodding silently as he reaches out for your hand to squeeze it softly. “I’m sorry to hear. I know how hurtful a separation can be. What do you want? I will do anything to help you.”

“I want to move out as fast as I can,” you sniffle silently. “I should tell you a bit more right?”

He nods, giving you a soft smile while offering a tissue to dry your tears. “Take your time, Mrs. Rogers.”

“Y/N. Please call me Y/N. I don’t want to be Mrs. Steve Rogers anymore,” cracking a smile you take the offered tissue. “One year and two months ago his ex-girlfriend Peggy Carter moved back to New York. It was the beginning of the end. Steve is like a brainless puppy close to her.”

“I’m sorry,” Andy apologizes as a snort left his lips. He struggles to keep a straight face as you rant about Steve being a dick and more.

“Nah, it’s true. He’s an idiot thinking with his dick. He ruined our marriage for a woman who will never settle down with him. The moment I file for divorce and he’s free,” you shrug, “she will leave him once again.”

“That’s what he gets for cheating on his lovely wife, Y/N,” there is mischief in Andy’s eyes, and you chuckle, feeling a weight gets lifted off your chest. 

“I tried anything to save our marriage. A year ago, he came up with a baby again. I wasn’t ready but—” you drop your gaze to the wedding band around your finger, “I quit my job for him, and gave up all my dreams to have his baby. A month later he started using condoms again and another month later, he stopped having sex with me.”

“I see,” Andy takes notes while you try to sort your thoughts. “What do you want, Y/N?”

“I tried to ignore every sign. He came home late, smelled like cheap perfume, and—” chuckling humorlessly you look Andy straight in the eyes. “Steve is such a cliché, Mr. Barber, me too. I was still fighting a war I couldn’t win. At least I tried to save our marriage. Now I’m just tired, angry, and done.”

“Let me help you, Y/N,” your lawyer gets up to round his desk, offering his hand. He guides you toward the plush couch at his office, sitting next to you to hold your hand. “It’s my job to dismantle your husband.”

“I found a new job, here in Boston,” you give Andy a cracked smile. “A fresh start. My boss told me about your law firm and gave me your number. All I want is to keep my grandmother’s furniture, the money she left for me, and my books. All first editions. He can have the house and everything else.”

“Nothing else?” Andy asks. “I need to know if you want more. How about we make a list of every article you want to keep?”

“I already did,” you open your handbag to get the manila folder with all papers and your lists out. “I listed everything I want and what we own. You’ll find all you need in the folder.”

“Perfect,” flashing you a smile Andy takes the folder out of your hands. “When do you want me to deliver the divorce papers?”

“Give me a few weeks to take care of a few things and to hire a removal company for my things…”

A few weeks later, ...

“Doll? Y/N?” Steve enters the living wondering why you put all of your books into boxes. “Baby, why are your books in boxes?” He can hear you rummage in the bedroom upstairs. “Y/N, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to take them with me, Steven,” you call from upstairs. “Can you not yell through the house, I’m on the phone.”

“What?” your husband grunts. “I didn’t get that.”

“Andy, I’m ready,” you whisper on the phone, sighing deeply. Your bedroom looks empty without all of your clothes and the decoration you took off the walls. “My books are packed, everything else too.”

“We will be there in ten,” Andy shushes you as he can hear a sob escape your lips. “Y/N, this is the day you’ve been waiting for. I’ll deliver the divorce papers myself and the removal company will do the rest.”

“I’ll be waiting for you then,” you close your eyes to take another deep breath. “I-I hate him so much, Andy. How could he do this to me? How could he throw away eight years for a woman leaving him so easily?”

Andy is silent at the other line. He doesn’t know how to soothe your pain. Over the last weeks, he prepared the divorces papers and helped you find a nice apartment. He didn’t mention it’s not far away from his new home, though.

“We are almost there. Just hang on, Y/N. Don’t let him get under your skin,” ending the call you feel your heart shatter all over again. Your days as Mrs. Steve Rogers are counted, and the realization hits you harder than expected.

“Doll, I was calling for minutes and—” Steve stops in his tracks as you turn around to face your unfaithful husband. “Y/N?” he dares to look hurt, sad even as his eyes land on your packed suitcases and bags.

“You’ve done well coming so far, Steven,” you take off your wedding band to place it on his nightstand, “don’t act all surprised now. This was what you wanted, right? You wanted me to be the one ending our marriage. Well, it’s over Steven.” You chuckle lightly but it lacks humor. “You can call Peggy in a few and ask her to come over. Maybe you can fuck her on our bed. Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Y/N, it’s not what you think…really,” huffing you take your handbag and phone. “We can still talk things out. Look, Peggy is…”

“A slut worming her way into a married man’s bed, Steven,” you pat his cheek on your way to the door. “Please don’t hurt yourself. We both know she rules your life since she came back, maybe she always did. I was just a placeholder.”

“Wait…please,” Steve places his hand on your shoulder, begging you to not look back in anger. “We had good times too.”

“We had, Steve. I had hoped we will grow old together and watch our children find love too. Sadly you turned your back on me the moment she came back into the picture,” you walk out of the room. “My lawyer and a removal company will be here in a few.”

“You want to leave today?” Steve gasps. It’s all too real out of a sudden. “Wait. This is not what I want...”

You don’t turn around to face Steve one last time. “Yes, it is what you want since you saw her again. I will put my keys on the coffee table before I go. You can give them to her…”

Ten minutes later Andy and the removal company arrive to take over the hardest part. You don’t have it in you to watch them carry your belongings out of the house you called your home for almost ten years.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Andy mumbles while opening the door to his car for you. “I will deliver the papers and you can wait in my car, okay.”

“Thank you,” he squeezes your hand before he turns to walk off to talk to Steve. You watch him for a moment, smiling as he straightens his tie. “Andy?” you call out. 

“Yeah?” he stops in his tracks to turn around and look at you.

“Can I…can I invite you for dinner? You know, to thank you,” Andy smiles softly, nodding as you give him a shy smile. “Only if you want to, of course.”

“I’ll bring the wine.”

“Mrs. Rogers only wants to take the things listed on here,” Andy hands Steve your list. “You will see the things belonged to her long before you became a thing. Against my advice she wants you to keep the house and the car. In return she wants you to only talk to me and never contact her again.”

“What? She’s still my wife!” Steve gasps. Finally facing the consequences of his wrongdoings is the hardest thing he ever did. “She hates me so much?” He whispers.

“You broke her heart, Mr. Rogers. She gave up everything for you and then, you just ran off with some girl. Let me tell you this,” your lawyer’s features darken, “you made your decision over a year ago. Now you will act like a man and leave Y/N alone. For once think about her needs, and stop being a selfish prick.”

“Did I promise too much, my dear?” Tony chuckles as you try to focus on work. “Andy is the best, isn’t he?”

“Stark, stop trying to play the matchmaker,” you grumble. It’s only been two months since you move out of your home and filed for divorce. You are not ready to move on or open your heart for someone new.

“Well, if you would’ve listened to me in the first place—” your boss places his hand on your shoulder. “Sorry. I just wanted you to know I never trusted that asshole.”

“I know,” giving Tony a cracked smile you feel more tears well up in your eyes. “And I’m sorry for quitting my job back then. I did what I thought was best for my marriage.”

“Good thing I opened a new office in Boston, right? Now I got my best employee back and can find you a new guy. A good one this time…”

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one, and I walk a-

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes, I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then, I walk alone

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[pasiveagressive]

One Direction Quizzes//h.s

all of the quizzes i used are actual quizzes on buzzfeed so i don’t mean to take credit for any of the questions.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N,  and I am here in association with Buzzfeed to take some quizzes!” you say smiling to the camera.

“Ooo, let’s start with this one. ‘Choose A One Direction Song From Each Album And We'll Reveal Which Of The Boys You're Most Like’ and then in the bio it says ``Do you give off Zayn energy?” you giggle, and start scrolling “Okay, Up All Night. What Makes You Beautiful is such a classic, but I feel like Taken is underrated… hmmm. Taken.” You click it and then read the next prompt.

“Next Take Me Home, my all time favorite is Last First Kiss it's just,” you chef kiss “mwah. But out of these options I am going to have to go with Little Things, cause I mean come on, the boys with Ed,” you chef kiss again.

“Midnight Memories, Don’t Forget Where You Belong is so good, it’s on my Homesick playlist.” you laugh lightly “Also on that playlist is Homesick by Kane Brown. If that man weren’t married and I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I would be all up in those DM’s.” You hear footsteps in the background and turn around. “Figures he would show up as soon as I mention another guy's name.” you pretend to whisper to the camera. Harry leans down to kiss your forehead  

“ ‘ello love. What are you doing?” He asks, clearly unaware of the camera recording.

“Recording an interview for Buzzfeed.” You motion to the camera and only then does he notice.

“Oops sorry darling.” He kisses your forehead again and starts to walk away.

“You can stay if you want.” You tell him, grabbing his hand as he turns, smiling at you. “ I am like two questions away from finding out which One Direction member I am most like so you might be interested.” you laugh as you speak

“Kay,” He nods his head with a small laugh and pulls up a chair.

“Okay I am at Four.” you say after a few minutes and you have repositioned everything. “Which do you think I am going to pick?”

“Well if Girl Almighty was on there that would be the answer no doubt, but because it’s not….No Control?” 

“Yeah I think so. I mean don’t get me wrong, all of these songs are good but none of them are on my top five from the album, but I do think you are right with No Control.” you click it “and next, Pick a song from ‘Made in the AM.’' you read “Well History is one of my all time favorite One D songs so it's gotta be that one. Okay are you ready to find out who I am most like.”

“Yes, let's do it.” you click history and it takes you to another question.

“Oh.” you stare for a second “Pick a solo song.” Harry starts to move the mouse to Sweet Creature “Uh-uh. I love you babe but you know that Heartbreak Weather is one of my all times.” Harry huffs

“Yes but I am your boyfriend not Niall.”

“Yeah but the quiz is ‘who am I most like’ not ‘pick my boyfriend's songs’.”  you roll your eyes at him and click Heartbreak Weather.``Oh my gosh is this quiz ever going to end?” you ask and laugh “This time I am picking Adore You,” Harry starts to speak up “And no it's not just because it was written about me.” you smile at him and kiss his pout. “Alright drumroll please.” Harry taps a rhythm on the table.After you click it your result pops up. “Louis. Awe babe you did fall in love with Louis anyway.” Harry rolls his eyes and smiles at your giggling form. 

“It looks like the fans were right all along huh darling.” he says and you just nod, unable to stop laughing.

Once you get yourself under control you open the next quiz and then you lose it all over again. Harry reads out the title for you 

“‘Harry Styles Would Either Be Your Husband, Friend, Ex, Brother, Or Enemy — Take This Quiz To Find Out Which One’.”

“Babe just so you know if I get either brother or ex we will have to break up.” you say with mock seriousness.” he just ignores your comment and reads the first question.

“What’s your favorite One Direction Song? Well yours isn’t on here but out of these it’s 18 right?” he turns to look at you, you smile and nod.“Okay, next favorite Harry Styles song. Talking about myself in the third person is weird.” he says and shakes like he had a bug crawling on him.

“Out of those it's either Golden or Falling. You pick for me I can’t decide.”

“Okay then Golden it is. Oh and the next one is so easy, Who is your favorite member of One Direction? It’s obviously me, right?” he waits for your agreement “Right?!?” he askes again when you don’t answer

“I mean what era are we talking about, cause during midnight memories I was a total Niall girl.” you laugh as he narrows his eyes at you. “Kidding, kind of, it's totally you babe.” you lean and kiss him. His glare doesn’t completely vanish but you know he knows you are actually kidding and just putting on a show for the camera. You read the next question “What is your favorite fruit? Well mine is actually Kiwi, which little known fact is part of the reason Haz has a song called that. But if I have to pick one of these options I suppose Watermelon.” you and Harry lock eyes and then both break out into the song 

“Sugar High!” and then you laugh

“Okay, okay,” you calm down, “how would you describe yourself?”

“Well I think you are quite lovable.” he leans in and you push him away

“You have to say that you are in love with me, you dingus. Maybe adventurous? I am always down to try new experiences and foods.” He scoffs at the name but then nods agreeing with your choice.”Alrighty next Pick a singer, the options are, Ariana Grande queen, Ed Sheeran whom I have already declared my adoration for this video, Taylor Swift another queen, Beyonce I mean c’mon another freaking queen, and Selena Gomez who is like a sister to me on top of being a queen. So I obviously have to pick Selena.” you click her name. “Pick a color.” 

“You are going to pick blue.” Harry states and moves the mouse to the color.

“Wow, okay, way to make me seem predictable babe.” you joke with him

“Was I wrong?” he looks at you 

“Well I mean no but-” he cuts you off

“Y/N, there is no but if I was right. Pick another color.” He reads

“Oh okay you know what I am going to pick here to?” He just looks at you 

“Say it on the count of three, Ready love,1-2-3, black like your soul.”

“Purple.” you say at the same time. “Ha.” he rolls his eyes but clicks it nonetheless. 

“Okay the last question is to pick a group. I feel like as a supportive girlfriend I have to say One Direction.” Harry nods his head agreeing with that. “But have you listened to Why Don’t We? They are phenomenal.” you bit your lip thinking about it “But One Direction are my OG’s so I suppose I should pick them.” You click the box

“HUSBAND!” Harry shouts “We are destined to be darling.” He says and pulls you off of your chair onto his.

“Babe we are on camera.” You remind him after he kisses you.

“Oh, right.” he grimaces and then smirks “Oh well.” but he lets you go back to your chair anyway.

“Okay last quiz. ‘I'm Gonna Give You One Line Of Lyrics — Can You Identify Which One Direction Song They're From?’” you read “Should we take this one together or should we see how well you remember your own lyrics?” you tease him.

“Let’s take it together.” he smiles at you 

“Nervous Styles?” 

“There are alot of songs, okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Who’s guessing first?” you ask 

“You are ready?” you nod your head yes “Up first ‘My judgement’s clouded, like tonight’s sky’.” you sit there and try singing it to come up with the right melody. Once you find it you continue the song.

“‘Hands are silent, voices numb, try to scream out, my lungs’.” Harry joins in harmonizing with you.

“‘It makes this harder’.”

‘That's ‘Moments'.’' you state and even though you know you're right he waits to announce it til you click the answer.

“Correct!”

“Okay, I will read the next one. ‘Had the best time and now it's the worst time

But we have to say goodbye’.” He sits there dumbfounded for a minute 

“Honestly love, I have no idea.”

“Yeah this one is super hard, it’s ‘Summer Love’.” you tell him, but the clueless look doesn’t leave his face. 

“I have no recollection of ever singing a song called ‘Summer Love’.” he grimaces “All the directioners are going to come for me now aren’t they?”

“Possibly, but I will protect you from the big bad fan army.” you talk in a baby voice and Harry rolls his eyes at you.

The two of you continue the quiz, correctly guessing all of them. You then speak to the camera one last time

“That was me Y/N Y/L/N and my beau Harry Styles taking One Direction Buzzfeed quizzes. We hope you enjoyed watching as much as we enjoyed filming it! Check out my new album Killing Me Slowly on September 17th!” you and Harry wave to the camera and then shut it off. 

“What do you want for dinner love?” He askes as he pulls you in and holds you.

“Sushi?” 

“Sounds perfect.”

[jaemrkist]

speak now

pairing: mark lee x gender neutral reader

wc: 1,400+

genre: fluff and angst i think

warnings: none

summary: weddings are days full of love and joy for the happy couple. you wish you could be someone who saw this day as a joyful day but how could you when the love of your life is marrying someone else?

a/n: happy late valentine's day! i wanted to have this posted earlier but i got super busy with school so it's late. inspired by the taylor swift song if the summary and title weren't obvious enough.

—————

it was a nice day outside. the sun was free from the shadow of clouds and the weather was not too hot but not too cold either. you were dressed in formal attire, as one would at a wedding. you weren’t here to celebrate a wedding though. you weren’t the type of person who would do this on someone’s wedding day, but you couldn’t let mark marry someone else without knowing how you felt about him.

mark was your ex-boyfriend. the two of you dated for almost 4 years before you broke up with him. you knew you were a stupid person for breaking up with someone you loved so much but you felt scared for the future. you felt that it was impossible for someone to see a future with you despite mark telling you multiple times he wants to be with you for eternity. 3 years later and you still regret your dumb decision, but you came here to fix that. you and mark stayed in touch after the breakup via social media and having mutual friends. when you found out he was seeing someone else, it broke your heart. it also didn’t help that his girlfriend hated your guts.

“y/n y/l/n.”

“i’m sorry but your name isn’t on the list. are you sure you rsvp to the ceremony?”

you rolled your eyes at the poor man who was just trying to do this job by managing who came in. you knew you said you were coming but it seemed likely that the bride had your name taken off the guest list without mark knowing. when you were thinking of how you could get into the church, someone put their arm around your shoulder.

“we actually came together. my name is na jaemin.”

you looked over at were greeted with a smile by jaemin. you and jaemin had been friends since college and he was the one to introduce you to mark. jaemin was one of the mutual friends you and mark had after the breakup, so he knew how it affected the both of you.

“oh great. welcome, you guys can head right in. enjoy the wedding,” the man said.

you and jaemin walked in. jaemin still had his hand on your shoulder until you guys were away from the door so you wouldn’t get caught.

“thanks for doing that,” you said.

“no problem. i’d do this for all my friends who strangely attend the wedding of their ex,” jaemin said, laughing at how ridiculous the sentence sounds.

you shoved his shoulder and laughed with him.

“no but seriously don’t you think it’ll be a little awkward for you to come? i mean i’m glad you did don’t get me wrong.”

“i don’t know. i just felt like i had to. i wanted to see mark one last time i guess.”

“you act like once he’s married you two will never speak again.”

“oh come on, you know she doesn’t like me. i doubt she’ll let her husband speak to his ex once they're married.”

jaemin nodded along. you did have a point, mark’s fiance has been a little controlling of mark’s life recently.

“well, i’m gonna go to the grooms’ room and check on him before the wedding starts. whatever you secretly have planned in that head of yours, i hope it goes well,” jaemin said, adding a wink at the end of his sentence. he began walking towards the hall and you were left standing alone.

how obvious was it that you had an idea? maybe it was just because jaemin knows you so well but you began to overthink and worry that others know you still love mark. you walk around the venue to clear your mind and accidentally cross paths with the bride’s family. they were all dressed in pastel pink, the accent color of the wedding. you tried to casually hide behind a waiter who was walking around so you weren’t stopped by someone. sure the family didn’t know who you were, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t stop to ask how you know the couple.

you ended up walking to the bathroom and hiding in there while you gathered yourself. you began to daydream about possible ways this could end. you could tell mark before the wedding starts, that way it is private and only the two of you. you could also just walk out and pretend none of this even happened. or, you could tell him while he’s at the altar.

while in your thoughts, you hear someone outside say that the wedding will start shortly. mark must already be at the alter so your first idea is a bust. i can’t just walk out now. i’ve already made it into here, you tell yourself. you shake your head to clear your thoughts and walk out of the bathroom.

you make your way to the room where the wedding will take place and sit in the far back. you look over to the altar and see mark with his best man haechan and groomsmen johnny and jaehyun. you wonder if mark wishes it was you who will stand with him at the alter.

the organist began playing a melody indicating that the bride was on her way. the usually happy song sounded like a death march to you at this moment.

everyone stood up and waited for the doors to open. once the door opened, flower girls began throwing white and pink rose petals down the aisle. the bride followed after them. you thought her dress made her look like a pastry but she still looked pretty. she walked down the aisle as if it was a beauty pageant runway.

when she reached the alter, mark put his hands out for her to hold. they held hands while the preacher gave a speech. you rolled your eyes at the preacher describing their lives as if it was some epic love story.

“if anyone has any objections speak now or forever hold your peace,” the preacher said.

he looked around the church. there was silence as people waited for the officiant’s sermon to continue. surely, they didn’t expect anyone to actually object to the wedding.

this is my last chance, you thought to yourself. you took a deep breath. am i really going to do this? the answer was yes. yes, you were really going to interrupt a wedding. you had to do this. when you finished thinking about it, you stood up and began fiddling with your fingers.

“i object,” you said.

there was a gasp from the bride’s parents as well as mark’s parents. other guests had horrified looks on their faces at your action. you didn’t pay attention to them though. you looked directly at mark who was looking back at you.

“i love you mark. i always have and i always will, whether you’re in my life or not. i just want you to know that. this wasn’t something i wanted to do in a million years but i couldn’t watch you marry someone else without knowing that i love you. i wish i could take back the heartache i caused all those years ago but i can’t. i hope you don’t hate me for anything i’ve done because i really wish i never did it”

mark was surprised by your speech. he didn’t think you still loved him after you broke up with him 3 years ago. he kept his eyes on you the entire time you declared your love for him. the bride-to-be looked at you and then mark with anger.

when mark stood there longer than you had hoped without saying anything, you began to walk out of the row you were in and headed towards the door. you took this as a sign of defeat and that maybe mark was truly over you.

“wait!” mark calls out.

you turned around when you heard mark’s voice. mark drops the girl’s hands and ran over to you. you smiled when you realized what was happening. he grabbed your hand and ran out of the church with you. you ran to your car and got in. mark sat on the passenger side and turned to grab your face when you got in. he pressed a long-awaited kiss on your lips. he had waited for this moment for years.

“i’m so glad you said something when the preacher said ‘speak now.’”

[celestialevie]

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

✧ - angst ✿ - fluff ✯ - smut

✧ WEDDINGS AND WHAT COULD'VE BEEN'S one shot, 2.5k

┗ You’ve been friends with Fred since forever. But what happens when the one you love is not feeling the same, and now he’s getting married to the girl he loves.

✧ DON'T YOU one shot 0.9k

┗ Running into your ex, brings you some well deserved closure. (inspired by the same titled Taylor Swift song)

✿ Fred telling you he loves you for the first time headcanon

✧ Leave before you love me one shot, 1k

┗ Fred and y/n are best friends during the day, but sometimes when the night comes, they're more than that.

✿ Flower Boy one shot, 1.7k

┗ AU where y/n is working at the tattoo shop, while their best friend is an owner of a flower shop. What happens when expecting to see your best friend for lunch, you end up meeting a tall ginger man.

✿ George confessing his feelings towards you by accident headcanon

✿ Dance with me one shot, 1.6k

┗ Admitting to your boyfriend that you’re not an expert in dancing, he offers his skills to teach you just in time for the Yule ball.

✿ Superhero one shot, 1.7k

┗ When someone decides to play a prank on you, not knowing your fears, Cedric ends up saving you and befriending you. Being friends with someone is not easy when you have feelings for them, but they're seeing someone else.

✿ Wedding confession between 0.9k - 1k

┗ based off of this request

✿ Sunshine one shot 1.7k

┗ Being in love with your best friend is never easy, no matter how much love there is.

✿✧ Love Quarrel one shot, 1.5k

┗ Having a fight with your boyfriend Charlie about your future right before graduation and his final quidditch game as both capitain of gryffindor qudditch team and final game ever for Hogwarts is not an ideal situation. Will the fight be solved or be the end of them?

✿ Career Day one shot 1.5k ┗ It's career day in Hogwarts for fifth years, and you decide to invite your husband along with Mad Eye Moody and Tonks to talk about auror career.

✿ Take a risk one shot 3.1k ┗ Your best friend Lily Evans is getting married and you're the maid of honour. The best man? The nortorious Sirius Black.

✿ Four is a magic number one shot 3.3k

┗ Whilst being back in Hogwarts for the new school year, you discover you're pregnant and along with Remus' help you reveal the secret to both your nephew/godson and husband on your husband's birthday.

✧ Forbidden love one shot 1k ┗ After having an affair with your defense against the dark arts professor for couple of months now, you finally had enough wondering what does this affair mean when your graduation is nearing close. (Reader is of legal age)

✧✿ Young! Remus thinking he has competition headcanon

✿ Regulus proposing to you after coming home from a long mission headcanon

✿ SPEAK NOW headcanon

┗ Regulus stops you from getting married to someone you're not in love with.

✿ Flowery Surprise headcanon ┗ headcanon about celebrating your first anniversary with Neville

[tressasinterlude]

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 #𝟑: Female Public Figures Dating Men with Questionable Views That Contradict Their Image & Alleged Politics

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗥: These rant blog posts are really just reflective of my thoughts at the time that I make them and are posted here because I need an outlet to release all of this shit I have going on my busy ass mind. That’s it and that’s all. Now let’s get into it..

This rant was greatly inspired by none other than Ms. Robyn Rihanna “Tell Your Faves To Pull Up [in regards to social injustices directly affecting black people]” Fenty and her openly colorist boyfriend, A$AP Rocky. Aside from the fact that Rihanna tends to slip under the radar and is never held accountable for her problematic ways due to her conventional beauty (i.e. Her heavy usage of anti-Asian slurs, particularly targeted towards Chris Brown’s ex gf, Karrueche), it’s very alarming that a woman who has an entire makeup brand with a campaign based around the inclusivity of ALL black women is publicly flaunting a beau who once said that DSBW do not look good with red lipstick.

And yes, I’m very much aware that Rakim said this tasteless comment over 8 years ago but from the looks of it, not much has really changed with him. Don’t @ me about it neither because I don’t care.

Also peep how he compares a hypothetical darkskinned woman to a man (Wesley Snipes) while trying to explain how his antiblackness isn’t wrong because he said something about white women as well. Gaslighting at its finest. Don’t you just love it! 😀

Furthermore, you would think that somebody of Rihanna’s level of stature would know not to associate themselves with someone as messy as A$AP Rocky but... Stupid is what stupid does, I guess! I can’t even begin to place the blame on him anymore because he’s revealed his true colors and we all have made the deliberate choice to either accept it or don’t and have discontinued all support for him. Unfortunately, misogynoir is never the dealbreaker for most people and the hatred for [dark-skinned] black women is so engrained in society that it’s frowned upon when we publicly speak out against it. Very ass backwards if you ask me but that’s society for you. Now, enough about that. Let’s focus back on Ms. Vita La Coco.

As a woman who claims to be a girl’s girl and is always presenting herself to be someone who is the epitome of a pro-black feminist bad ass, it just makes her alleged activism come off so disingenuous when she’s also laying down with the same man that actively attacks the demographic she’s supposed to be standing in solidarity with. It’s “Black Lives Matter” on the IG posts but your vagina is getting moist for a man who openly stated he doesn’t relate to what goes on in Ferguson because he lives in Soho & Beverly Hills. Ferguson being the exact place where a 17-year-old black boy’s lifeless corpse laid on the hot concrete for FOUR hours after he was murdered by a police officer. He couldn’t 'relate' to the fate of so many black men, women, and children who are murdered or seriously injured from state-sanctioned violence because they’re poor and he is not or so he thought.

But then again, what can I really expect from a woman who identified as being “biracial” until as recent as roughly 6 years ago? What can I really expect from a woman who called Rachel Dolezal a ‘hero’ for cosplaying as a black woman? I’d be lying if I said my expectations for her were high in this regard because sis has always shown us she was lacking in this department. And just for the record, this is not a personal attack on Rihanna at all for the die-hard Navy stans in the back. I admire her latest fashions and bop my head to her music just like the next person but she’s getting the side-eye from me on this one.

Trust and believe me though, she’s not the only woman who I can call out for being a hypocrite. Of course not! This stone can be cast at a few others. So without further ado, why don’t we bring Ms. Kehlani Parrish to the front of the congregation? Prior to Kehlani’s recent declaration of identifying as a lesbian, her last public relationship with a man was with YG. Yes, the same YG who felt it was necessary to say him & Nipsey had ‘pretty light-skinned’ daughters to raise in the middle of his deceased friend’s memorial. By the way, Nipsey’s daughter is not even light (or at least not in my book anyways.) She’s a very deep caramel tone just like her father which makes what he said even more moronic. Yes, the same YG who thought it was clever idea to use slavery as an aesthetic for a music video to a diss track about 6ix9ine. And yes, also the same YG who has derogatory lyrics targeted at bisexual women. Just to end up sweating the red carpets with one. I swear the jokes just continue to write themselves.

This raises the question once more; How high of a pedestal can I really put a multiracial woman who has a song titled ‘N*ggas’ and when received backlash for the song in question, she used the ultimate ‘I’m mixed’ copout while not having a visibly black parent in sight?

It’s also kind of suspicious to me that many were not privy to Kehlani’s secret romance with Victoria Monét (pictured bottom right) until Victoria did an interview with Gay Times revealing she fell in love with a girl but they subsequently broke up because Victoria had a boyfriend and that girl was pregnant in a polyamorous relationship. Fans began to speculate because both Victoria & Kehlani previously candidly spoke about their sexual orientations, Kehlani had just had Adeya and they both were seemingly close. Their short-lived fling would later be confirmed when Victoria released the song ‘Touch Me’ on her last project and Kehlani hopped on the remix. Meanwhile, Kehlani’s relationship with Shaina (pictured bottom left) was very overt and all over her Instagram feed from my recollection. And as you can see, Shaina looks absolutely nothing like Victoria. They look like the complete opposite of eachother in every aspect which is kind of alarming(?) to say the least because why is it that the women she proudly claims as her partners tend to have a very racially ambiguous look such as herself but her ‘sneaky links’ on the other hand are undoubtedly black women? Again, it could just be me jumping conclusions. You know, I’m kinda good for that however something tells me I’m not. Y’all be the judge of the material though.

Last but not least, I’d like to touch on Ms. Raven Tracy very briefly. I was very weary about even including in this segment and if I should just put her in a entirely separate blog post with other women who openly date abusers despite their checkered past (alongside Nicki Minaj & her r*pist murderer of a husband, India Love & Sheck Wes etc.) being this particular blog post was based around the theme of lightskinned/mixed women dating men with extremely problematic views about DSBW. Raven obviously isn’t lightskinned or mixed however I refused to ignore how contradictory her [former] relationship with an alleged (I used this word very loosely and mainly for legality purposes.) serial r*pist while promoting a brand that is all about feminism & body positivity. This also traces back to A$AP Rocky by default being that Ian Connor is his very close friend and he came to Connor’s defense when several women came forward detailing accounts of Connor allegedly s*xually assaulting them. (I wish I could place the actual video of what A$AP Rocky said verbatim but Tumblr only allows one video per blog post. 🙄)

Back in June of this year, Ian & Raven had a back & forth on Twitter after Ian tweeted about Raven “fucking everybody” behind his back. I can only assume that he was alluding to Tori Brixx posting a video of her ex, Rich the Kid & Raven kissing on her story. Disgusted is not even the word to describe my feeling when she admitted she stuck by Ian despite of his many allegations of s*xual abuse because she loved him and her being a empath causes her to want to help everybody. Imagine aiding and abetting a predator and even paying for his bail & legal fees just to turn around and expect sympathy because this same individual cheated on you and exploited you all over Twitter for the public to see. The same man that you would get back with not even a WEEK after the fact & turn off your IG comments because it isn’t our “business” after making it our business...

That being said, I just genuinely want to know: Why do these women completely go against what they stand for in regards to these men? Maybe it was never genuine from jump street and if that’s the case, why jump on the bandwagon of performative activism? Is it because it’s profitable right now? Is it because disrespecting black women is not an immediate death sentence to your careers and more often than not actually helps you advance even further? I guess that’s the billion dollar question that’ll never truly be answered. I just want the world to stop using black women as their stepping stool to get to where they need to go and then discarding of us when we’re no longer beneficial. Support us all the way or don’t support us at all. We deal with enough disrespect as is so we’d appreciate if y’all would stop straddling the fence and partake in your misogynoir out loud if that’s what you choose to do. We have no use for fake allyship and quite frankly, it’s doing more harm for us than good. Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

- 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙰𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝙴. 💋

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Investigations (Part 3): Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

synopsis: when things are uncovered, can you handle the truth? Or are you doomed to make a mistake you can't rectify?

wc: 2.1k

tw: violence

masterlist

song recommendation:

Ran's past was a lie.

When you met him at the country club five years ago, your pasts had been explained in hushed tones and excited flurries of memories; sharing photos of the time before he was an executive of the communications company he worked in and the time before you were a journalist.

Ran said he had gone to jail twice, both for crimes he had been an accessory to as a delinquent kid, but that he'd cleaned up his act after and made his way up the corporate ladder. Nothing about gangs or being a Heavenly King in Tenjiku made it past his lips.

You had been honest, too. Your tales included the time you'd accidentally happened upon a massive gang fight, and that's how your investigative journalism skills began to bloom.

Who was fighting?

What were they going to do after?

Where did these gangs come from?

When did this argument start?

Why were they fighting?

How did gangs form in the first place?

Those were all the questions you sought out answers for that night and the next five years after, devoting your time and effort to finding the truth about everything.

"Babe?" You freeze, hands hovering over the keys at the sound of Ran's voice. You don't turn around - you can't even look at him the same these days - but he fixes that by walking over to you and turning you around in your chair. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Just doing some writing." His violet eyes search yours for the truth, but you know he won't be able to find it. Not while you're still trying to unravel his past. Ran kisses your eyelids sweetly, cupping your face in his large palms and littering his love across your face as you try your best to remain still and not confess about your research.

"Come to bed. It's late."

"I've got a few more paragraphs," you explain, motioning to the small print on your screen. "I'll be in bed soon."

But your lie is discovered shortly thereafter. It's five a.m. when Ran returns, seeing you slumped against your desk, arms cushioning your head, laptop screen blank. Instinctively, Ran pulls you out of your seat - making your notebook fall to the ground - grunting softly as he scoops you up into his arms and cradles you against his chest.

You willingly allow your husband to carry you to bed, where your two-year-old is also nestled among the sheets and pillows, thumb tucked into his mouth. And for a moment, Ran appreciates the view, seeing the two people he loved the most - besides his younger brother - laying in the bed he paid for, in the house he built, in the city he owns.

But then he remembers the slight disarray you left your things in at the desk and returns, picking up your pencil and notebook before laying them beside the laptop. Then his eyes catch "Ran's past?" written in bold, red letters, along with the words: "Tenjiku" and "Tandai" also written in the web of other words surrounding his name. "South Terano" is also on that web.

He'd have to take care of that in the morning.

And for the first time in a long time, worry bubbles to the surface of his mind, and Ran rips the sheet of paper from your notebook, tossing it into the kitchen trashcan and considering his deed done. He concealed his past to protect his family. And he's concealing the present to achieve the same goal; all for the future to be revealed later. That's how everything should be.

Right? _____________________________________________________________

"Ran," you whisper, lips running across his knuckles. His fingers cup your jaw, and his own lips press against your forehead, violet eyes darkening slightly. "It's six am. Where are you going this early?"

"I have to go into the office for a little while," he murmurs, kissing your forehead again. "I'll be back around lunchtime." Thoughts of Tandai and Tenjiku flash into your mind for a moment, but you smile at him sleepily anyway, absolutely sure these things are part of his past and not in the present.

"We'll be waiting for you, my love."

Despite all of your best intentions, though, you can't help but be consumed by the idea of Ran out, fighting, stealing, maiming... You consider asking him about these things, these concerns, but you decide against it as you're helping Kai with his lunch. If he wanted to leave it in the past, there's a good reason for it. He would have told you if it would be a problem later. Right?

Ran wouldn't jeopardize your family, your home, your life for something so... juvenile.

Right?

The clatter of keys on the counter in the living room brings you back to the present, and you perk up, your two-year-old mimicking your expression.

"Daddy!" Kai slides down from his seat and runs to greet Ran, clutching his father's legs with all his little might.

"Hey, buddy," Ran laughs, stooping to pick up his son with excitement. "How are you doing?" As son and father have a very stimulating conversation about playtime, you watch them in wonder, observing the way Ran makes his child a priority, just like he makes you a priority. But your countenance falls as soon as you see the blood spot on the bottom of Ran's lavender suit jacket. You know its blood because of the way it dried - that's no ketchup stain.

You fake a smile anyway, giving Ran a kiss on the cheek and tugging his jacket off after he sits Kai back on the tile floor.

"Hard day?"

"Kind of," Ran mumbles, and you catch the sight of a long scratch down the side of his neck. "But I made it through." You hum, taking the pin-striped jacket to the laundry room and slinging it over the side of the washer. You'd need that later.

"Need to relax?" you wonder, and Ran grins at you mischievously.

"Maybe later, after bedtime?"

_____________________________________________________________

But "later" never came.

Instead, Ran and Kai fell asleep on the sofa, watching a kid's movie, and you retreated to the office, powering up your laptop and pulling your notebook closer.

You immediately notice something's wrong, as the notes you had before were missing. Everything is gone. Not even a word of all the research you had done was there. Hadn't you written meticulous notes and names and things about Ran's past that could be interconnected? You break out in a sweat and search in every drawer of the desk, every place it could possibly be. You come up with nothing, and let out a frustrated sigh before slumping down in your seat and pulling up the computer history from yesterday. If you had to rewrite every single thing, that's fine. You'd just need more time to gather your evidence for the meeting on Saturday.

You're knee-deep in articles and police reports when you stumble across a more recent - actually as recent as this morning - article titled: "Ex-gangster found dead in meat factory". The picture of South Terano startles you, and you click on it, feeling a sense of dread as the article details how he was found hanging upside-down in the warehouse with a bullet hole in his head. And just like that, your newest lead has fizzled out. You groan, writing down "South Terano, deceased" on your notepad, then exiting the tab.

There had to be someone else you could ask. Shuji Hanma only provided you with Ran and Rindou's names, no one else.

"What's this?"

The door to the office shuts softly, and you look over your shoulder at Ran, who is walking toward you with measured steps, his eyes taking in your exhausted expression and the way you're hunched over that notepad. Again.

"What are you doing? You look tired, babe. Let's go to bed, yeah?"

Suddenly, pieces begin to click as Ran leans his hip against the desk, staring down at you in the chair with squinted violet eyes. "You threw away my notes... Didn't you?"

"What are you doing in my business, y/n?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were in two gangs?" you counter, fingers shaking slightly. "Ran, this is something I needed to know before--"

"You wouldn't have married me if I told you." Ran's tone is cold, almost as if he's turned into the past version of himself without batting an eye.

"You don't know that." Ran leans forward, coming to eye level with you a smirking.

"I know you. And that's all I need." Ran reaches out a hand to close the laptop, still smiling and maintaining eye contact. "Now here's what you're going to do. First, you're going to stop digging into my past. There's nothing there that you need to find. Second, you're going to come to bed. It's late, you're tired. Finally," Ran cups your chin like he did this morning, except his fingers aren't so tender this time. "You're going to cut off contact with both Shuji Hanma and Taiju Shiba. I'm not really fond of either of them, and I'm not a fan of having them tell my business to my wife."

"They were only doing it because I asked."

"Taiju, maybe. Shuji isn't so eager to fuck you. I doubt he did it out of the kindness of his heart." You can't say anything to refute his claims. Ran is probably right. But you can't get one question out of your mind.

"Why are you trying to hide your past? What's there that I won't like?"

"What isn't there is the real question."

"What can you tell me about the gang that's just surfaced in Tokyo?" Ran's face slackens, transforming into a half-surprised, half-blank look that you realize is one that means he's been caught. "Oh, my fucking god," you breathe, tears stinging your eyes. "South, the fish, the murders, the crime... It's you. It's been you this whole time. I've been chasing my own husband down." Panic begins to set in, and your mind whirls around as you shake in your seat, bringing your hands up to your head. "Just tell me Rindou isn't in this," you breathe, but Ran doesn't answer you, still wearing that dumb look on his face. You let out a cry of shock, covering your mouth and trying to back away from Ran as much as you can.

The source is a lot closer than you think.

You slide down the wall, shocked into stillness as your sobs quiet, and Ran straightens up, placing his hands in his sweatpant pockets. The long nights, the early mornings, the bloodstains, the damn suits... It all led to this. Ran had never really left his old lifestyle behind. He'd gotten caught up in it, and brought you and Kai into it unknowingly.

"I never meant for it to get this... unhinged." You can't reply, tucking your knees into your chest as you stare past Ran and at the opposite wall, wondering how you'd missed the signs, the obvious signs that Ran was up to no good. "I know this is a lot to take in, but we can--"

"I can't stay here."

The words fall from your mouth and Ran flinches, shaking his head.

"No. You can't leave."

"Yes, I can," you mumble, standing and wiping your tears. "I can do whatever I need to do to keep Kai safe, and--"

"Kai is safer here than out there," Ran snaps, pointing at the window. "I'm not letting my son out of my sight. Your snooping has caused enough trouble as it is; I wouldn't have had to go and clean up this morning if you hadn't--"

"Don't blame this on me," you retort, pointing at Ran accusatorially. "You're the one who joined a gang and is still in one! What kind of role model are you for our son now?"

"I provide the best way I can," Ran grits out, clenching his fists. "You've never gone hungry, cold, or ill-clothed a day in your life while you were with me."

"I would rather die than enjoy a life paid for with blood money."

"Blood money? You really think--" You try to push past Ran, but he grabs your shoulders, yanking you back in front of him. "You're not going anywhere except to our bed."

"Let me go, Ran Haitani," you mutter, hands balling up into little fists. "Or I'll scream."

"Who will hear you? Kai?"

How had you been so foolish? Ran's lips press together momentarily as his violet eyes run over your figure, taking stock of all your five-foot-six stature. You're no match for Ran. Not mentally, and certainly not physically. Ran notices your defeat and his hands slide down to your wrists, tugging your delicate hands up to his chest.

"Everything will be fine," he whispers, drawing you close. "I'm taking care of us. Just trust me."

Just trust me.

[ladyartemesia]

Yooo your love story straight out seems like an e2l slow burn tumblr fic. Do you have any plans using at as a plot?? I would def read it 👀

I don’t know if I would truly call it enemies-to-lovers because—although I got irritated with him and his behavior and did snap at him from time to time—we were not really enemies. In fact we were barely friends for most of the years we knew each other—

Well.

Ok. So that’s not totally true...

We fought online constantly. From the time we graduated college (where his crush first developed and I routinely forgot his name) the two of us were always fighting on social media—usually about politics—and occasionally about other things but both of us were too smart to ever truly get the better of each other so there was a grudging respect, (his mom said he used to yell at his computer screen about me). We had it OUT several times online even though we rarely—if ever—spoke in person.

My poor sweet boy DID get himself in trouble over me in more ways than one though—even if we’re weren’t close yet...

His college girlfriend set him up to fail asked him who he would date if the two of them weren’t together and he answered immediately—vehemently—

“Viola. I would definitely date Viola if I could.”

🤦🏻‍♀️ (oh...honey...no)

(That would become a huge THING in their relationship. Every time they got into a fight his ex would shout “why don’t you just go date VIOLA then?!”—When he married me he said he felt like a real winner in that particular collection of conflicts. Playing the long game I guess 🤣😂)

Back then I was all about the music/dramatic arts scene and I was dating a string of empty headed pretty boys who bored me nigh unto death because I was young and completely stupid.

In contrast my someday-boo was painfully quiet and shy (though not really with me because he was too busy trying to prove me wrong), but everyone who met him or spoke to him really liked him and respected him.

After college we were were still in the same extended social circle (and—as previously mentioned—fighting online), but I went to grad school and my not-yet-husband decided to chill for awhile and take a job as a landscaper while he figured his life out and... here’s where it gets complicated because...

—that’s where the girls came in. You see... he’s always been a really nice guy... maybe a little too nice 🤦🏻‍♀️

The term fuqboi tends to conjure up impressions of a cocky frat bro who slyly shags his way through a mountain of willing women with disconnected efficiency and a subtext of emotional constipation.

But that would not be the case here.

You see my husband is a listener. He’s an INFP. He, unlike many of his brethren, understands emotions and can really make a woman feel seen. Combine that with his good looks, brilliant mind, and broody nerditude and you have a recipe for women who were ‘just friends’ randomly dropping to their knees (and a lot more) for him.

Never one to stand in the way of a lady’s dreams, pre-me-hubby figured that if they were that determined to (*insert miscellaneous sexy stuff here*) with him then—well—he’d let them.

I mean why not, right? No harm done.

Wrong. 🤬

And here is where our paths truly began to merge (in the real world) for the first time.

As the FOURTH girl (just in my friend group) he graciously allowed (🤦🏻‍♀️) to have her wicked way with him sobbed in my arms, I became determined to put this ridiculous man-child IN his PLACE—this time in the tactile world as well as the virtual one.

...Poor Liz

She realized that he had absolutely no desire whatsoever to be in a relationship with anything other than his WoW account and she was insistent that he had broken her heart.

So I cornered him and we had it out. (Call me meddlesome, but to be fair he was four friends deep at this point.)

The problem was that... the more I talked to him...the more he was not really what I expected... I found myself...oddly...intrigued?

Later it would come out that I was the first girl—ever—that he actually pursued. And I was not even aware of it for like the first three months.

He was pretty slick after all when it came down to it.

That man convinced me to ‘help him’ with women—to make sure he didn’t get himself into another situation where some girl with heart eyes was tearing off his clothes and expecting commitment.

HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS ‘EXCUSE.’

🤦🏻‍♀️(...I know. I’m an idiot.)

“We can hang out. You’ll teach me how to spot if a girl is about to catch feelings and take off my pants. And I will have an excuse when they call as to why we can’t hang out” (—and ...they really were always calling. It was wild.)

....I mean he WAS shy! It SEEMED plausible!

So yeah my dim self agreed to it. (🤦🏻‍♀️)

I considered it a valiant attempt to save the rest of my social circle from the most clueless ‘accidental’ fuqboi on planet earth and maybe even an opportunity to teach him how to be a real human being and what not.

And before you think ‘fake dating’—we weren’t. We were just hanging out as friends. You see when I went to yell at him (and chased him down after he laughed at me and tried to escape) we ended up talking in his car for like four hours. And then that happened like three more times randomly so... I... actually... wanted... to be his friend... 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was still 110% not interested romantically.

Your girl (me) was after some bland banker dude (🤦🏻‍♀️) and so I blissfully fell into friendship with my actual soulmate without a single second thought. And I never worried about either of us catching feelings because I had a crush on someone else and he had heavily implied that I was not his type. (He told me later that I just assumed this and he simply never corrected me 🙄)

I don’t remember falling for him. I never decided to. I never thought about it...

But one day after the whole crew was hanging out at a restaurant (and the waiter kept giving me free drinks which may have pissed my once-and-future man off) the two of us went out to his car to have our customary three hour post-chill chat...

I was teasing him about something—some girl he was still attempting to untangle himself from—and I said—as had become my habit (seriously I said this so many times as a joke)—“It’s too bad I’m not your type—you could just tell her you have a girlfriend.”

(Now. I know what you’re thinking. But I was still firmly on team platonic ok! I was just a flirt. And maybe part of me was starting to feel weird things about him—but those feelings weren’t like anything I recognized so I thought I just needed to cut back on sugar or something.)

(Have I mentioned I’m an idiot?)

ANYWAYS he looked me right in the eye. So serious. And instead of saying “that’s too bad”—LIKE he ALWAYS did—he said—

“You...are my type, Viola... You’re exactly my type.”

To which I responded—“....What? No I’m not. You said I wasn’t.”

“Never said that. You assumed.”

“You LET me!”

—followed by a good ten minutes of me having an existential crisis/yelling at him for allowing me to believe he didn’t find me attractive and lulling me into a false sense of security. He was infuriatingly unapologetic.

At the end of it all he asked me to give him—give us—a chance.

And I agreed to go out on a few dates with him (mostly to prove to myself that there was nothing there).

(🤦🏻‍♀️)

The only thing I ended up proving was that I was wrong about what I wanted and even more wrong about what I needed.

You see...

Those weird feelings turned out to be love.

(🤦🏻‍♀️)

And it was a really special experience to sit in a room full of girls who had cried in my arms over him—girls I had lectured repeatedly on the dangers of his heartless ways— and admit that I was his girlfriend.

🤦🏻‍♀️

Love was—and continues to be—nothing like I expected and frankly I couldn’t be happier.

... to answer your questions

1. I have considered writing a fic based on our story called Broken Road. The title is taken from an old Rascal Flatts song that—as insanely cheesy as it is—really reminds me of us. Don’t know if I will actually write this. Thought about it a lot though.

2. Tags I would use for this story?

#enemies-to-lovers / #idiots-to-lovers / #college au / #outgoing!fem reader(me) x shy nerd!accidental fuqboi / #reader is also a huge nerd actually / #she’s just a loud one / #frenemies-to-lovers / #the love is requited / #they’re just idiots / #pining (his) / denial (mine) / #reader has terrible taste in men / #except for that last one / #she really redeemed herself there at the end

[songficsbyrissi]

You’re Mines Still (Erik X Reader)

“They say time heals She can't see her life without me, she's so blind still Fuck that nigga, you can tell him that you're mines still” - Yung Bleu feat. Drake

A/N: heyyyy y’all! Back from the dead again! 🤣 here to drop my shit and dip as always. I’m trying to stop that, I swear. Hennyways, I wanna put a disclaimer here: I have nothing against MBJ. I couldn’t care less about the nigga but I thought it’ll be interesting to have this nigga as the boyfriend, instead of making a character up in contrast to Erik. I think it’s perfect because I’m pretty sure they’re two completely different niggas. And I know “mines” isn’t proper English but I’m going with the title of the song so don’t start with me 😂😂😂 Aight imma let y’all read lol. Hope you enjoy it!

**************

You were doing it again.

You found yourself observing your boyfriend Michael, and comparing him to your ex, Erik. Right now, Michael came into the kitchen and gave you a swift kiss on the cheek to say good morning. It was sweet and nice but Erik would’ve grabbed you by the waist, pulled you in for a long, juicy kiss, followed by a smack on the ass. You found yourself low-key missing that, but you moved on so you had to let that go.

“Michael?”

“Yes, cookie?”

You held yourself back from rolling your eyes. It was a cute nickname, but ever since you told him your favorite dessert was chocolate chip cookies, here this nigga go, making it your nickname.

You shook your head. “Never mind.”

“You seem so distant, babe. What’s on your mind?” He asked from his seat at the table.

You avoided eye contact with him. “Nothing. I’ve just been tired.”

He snorted at this. “It’s because you work too much. I told you to chill.” He got up from the table and kissed you on the cheek. “Alright, I’ll see you later. I gotta go to the office.”

“Bye.” You said faintly as he walked out of the door. That was another thing. Erik could tell when something was bothering you and knew you avoided eye contact when you were lying. Michael just let anything you tell him slide. At this point, you could have a gunshot wound in your stomach and tell him you were fine and he’ll believe it.

You sighed deeply and got your things together so you could go back to your place. Michael asked you to move in with him, but you knew you weren’t ready for that. Not with him.

On your way to your apartment, you remembered you needed to do some grocery shopping, so you pulled up to the supermarket and pulled out your list of essentials on your notes app. The supermarket wasn’t too busy, thank God. You were able to weave back and forth through the aisles with ease. You got to the soup aisle and the broth you needed was all the way on the top shelf. You looked to the side to make sure no one would see you embarrass yourself. Before you could climb, a man’s arm reached up, grabbed the carton of broth, and handed it to you.

You smiled softly. “Thank you so much. I was about to embarrass myself climbing this shelf.”

“I could see that.” The man replied in a familiar voice that caused you to break your neck to look at him.

“Erik....” you breathed nervously once your eyes fell on him. He was still fine as always. The day you run into him, he would be wearing a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. An outfit that gets any girl’s faucet running. You wanted to sneak a glance, but you stopped yourself because you knew he would catch it.

He licked his bottom lip and looked you up and down. Damn him.

“Hey ma...it’s been a while.”

You nodded, looking down at your shopping cart. “Yeah, it has....”

“You still fine as hell.” Erik cracked a smirk and you were getting more and more nervous under his gaze. What the fuck is wrong with you?

You decided to breathe and ignore his statement. “How have you been, Erik?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, which something he always did when he was nervous. Holy shit, he was nervous around you. Why did that bring a pang of joy into your heart?

“I’ve been chilling. I'm still an architect. Still designing houses and getting people to buy them. It’s been aight. I’ve been successful.”

You gave him a genuine smile. “That’s good. I’m glad everything is going good in your career.”

“Yeah, it is. If only you were with me to see it all.”

You sighed deeply, shaking your head. “Erik-“

“I should’ve never let you go, Y/N. You were a good ass woman and you motivated me. I know I messed up but-“

“Erik, I’m kinda seeing someone else right now.” You spat out, preventing him from continuing the monologue he had going. He seemed taken aback by your outburst. Then came denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance all on his face.

“I’m sorry, Erik but I have a new boyfriend now. His name is Michael and he’s great. I figured you should know that.”

Erik let out a dry laugh in response and held his hands up in defense. “Yeah, you know what? I should’ve. A woman like you, of course, a nigga gonna snatch you up. That’s my fault. I hope he treats you well.”

“He does.” You swallowed hard and pushed your cart forward. “You take care of yourself, Erik. I’ll see you around.”

You didn’t wait for a reply. You just continued pushing until you heard his voice.

“You too, Princess.”

You stopped in your tracks for a bit, hearing that nickname for the first time in forever but you continued on your journey, refusing to look back at your ex.

You wrapped up your grocery store trip and went home. Even while you were cooking for your new man, Erik was still on your mind. You couldn’t help but think about all the times you had with him. One memory came back to you and you cringed. The night you two broke up.

“All you can think about are these damn houses! What about our house, Erik?!?!” You screamed coming closer to him, with your fists clenched. “What about all the shit you promised me?!”

“You’re still getting it, Princess! I promise!” He tried to pull you in a hug, but you pushed him away. All you saw was red. You didn’t want him touching you. You stuck a finger in his face.

“Bullshit! I’m tired of your empty-ass promises! I’m better than this! I’m better just being your damn girlfriend for all these years! It’s either you’re wanna be with me forever or you don’t! It’s that simple!”

Erik gathered up all the anger building to yell back. “No! It ain’t that simple! You just don’t get it.” Your angry demeanor softened at his words and you took a seat on the leather sofa. You wanted to cry because this shit was so fucking frustrating. You looked up at him with all the sincerity you could muster.

“Help me get it, Erik. Please. Because I just don’t.”

Erik took your trembling hands into his larger hands. “I just...I just don’t see myself as your husband right now. I got a lot of shit to work out before I can make that type of commitment to you, ma. I just need you to understand that and stick with me. I’m not saying it’s never going to happen. I’m just saying now’s not the right time.”

As much as you tried to prevent it, it happened. Tears were rolling down your cheeks. Erik began wiping them off, but you backed away.

“You keep saying that. When is the right time, huh? When?” You asked then sneered once you saw that once again, he couldn’t supply you an answer. “Just admit it, Erik. You don’t want to marry me. You don’t want to get a house with me, you don’t want to have kids with me. You don’t...” you swallowed hard, trying to find the strength to say this. “You don’t want forever with me. Now I get it.”

Erik shook his head vigorously as you rose from the sofa and he grabbed your hand. “No, baby girl! You’re not getting it! I love you! I love you so much! Please!”

You used your free hand to wipe some more of your tears. “You don’t love me the way I love you, Erik. I’ve been dying to be your wife, but you don’t want to be my husband. So I’m not gonna waste time with you when I can find someone who will.”

You released yourself from the grip he had on you, both figuratively and literally, and packed all your shit up. Despite the protests and guilt-tripping coming from Erik, you still made it your mission to get the fuck out of his apartment and get the fuck out of his life.

After mourning and healing from the loss of your long-term relationship, you met Michael. He was a nice man who looked similar to Erik but was completely different, personality-wise. Your friends noticed how much Michael looked like Erik, but they decided not to bring it up because they knew you would deny it. You were in denial, convinced it was all a coincidence. Deep down, you knew damn well he looked like Erik.

However, he was nothing like him and you thought that would work out in your favor. It didn’t.

You laid wide awake in Michael’s bed. He fell asleep after one round of sex and you were not satisfied. The sex was good, but one round??? Erik used to go at least 3 a night. Erik also would spoon, but Michael was turned away from you, snoring away. Your phone buzzed on your nightstand and you picked it up to see a text from your ex. You sat up in shock and opened it.

Erik:

Ik I shouldn’t b but I can’t stop thinkin bout u. I never stopped.

You took a deep breath and fixed your thumbs to respond.

You:

I’m with someone else, Erik. U gotta respect that.

Erik:

I do I just don’t like it. Can we at least be friends?

You contemplated your answer, then constructed a text back.

You:

Fine. We’ll be friends.

Erik:

With benefits? 👀

This caused you to stifle a laugh that would’ve been loud enough to wake up your boyfriend.

You:

Lmao no! Just friends, Erik.

Erik:

Lol I’ll take what I can get. Good night, Princess ❤️

After that last text, you were smiling yourself to sleep. It didn’t take long for Erik to invite you to group outings with mutual friends to eventually just you and him. It felt wrong but felt so right at the same time. You were alone in Michael’s apartment once again when Erik hit you up asking if you would like to see a house he built that was being pulled off the market. You agreed since you had nothing else to do. It’s just a house.

Needless to say, The house was gorgeous.

“Shittttt look at this fucking closet!” You cooed, entering the large walk-in closet in the master bedroom, and turned around to look at Erik with an enormous smile on your face. “Erik! You did that shit! This is my dream house! If I had the money, I would buy it right now!”

Erik chuckled with his arms folded. “It’s already bought, Princess.”

You scrunched up your face in disappointment as you stood against the marble island table in the middle of the room. “Ughh for real? I bet they don’t even like it like that!”

“Nah...I do.” He walked up to you slowly.

It didn’t click for your slow ass what he just said. “Of course you like it. You designed it.”

“Nah, we designed it.”

A record scratch went off in your head and you turned to see Erik right next to you. You gazed into his eyes to see an emotion you couldn��t describe. He saw confusion in yours.

“You ain’t noticed how this house is exactly your dream house? Everything you wanted in a house is right here. Baby girl, after you left me, all I could think about you and us and how I fucked us up. I was designing other houses and buildings, but there’s one that was most important to me that I never focused on and that was ours. I remembered our discussions and you didn’t know it, but I took notes of everything we wanted in a house. I finally had the motivation to get it designed, built, and bought.”

Erik built a house for you. He actually listened to you. Even when you thought he wasn’t, he was listening to every detail of what you wanted. You had so many questions to ask, but you were speechless. What were you supposed to say to this?

“I don’t want you to think I was on some creepy nigga shit because I wasn’t. It’s just that this design was gonna go to waste and I was going to let them sell it to the highest bidder, but I just couldn’t. This house was the last piece of you I had left. If I sold it, it was like me officially giving up on the possibility of us. I still had that hope. I’m a stupid ass nigga, I know.”

Your right hand grasped his left hand and he finally spared you a glance to see unshed tears in your eyes.

“I wanted this....from you....for so long. For so long! Why are you giving it to me now?! When I have someone else?!” You threw his hand out of frustration and exited the closet. You didn’t make it far. You just went into the master bedroom and cried your eyes out. You waited so long for this and he’s giving it to you now? When Michael was in the picture? Well, It’s too damn late.

Erik got on his knees and grasped your knees. You stared at him through the tears in your eyes.

“I know you’re building a life with this nigga, but stop. Stop that shit. You know he ain’t the one for you. Fuck that nigga. You’re mines still.” Erik was pleading with you. He began to shed a tear. Holy shit, he meant every word. “Baby, I’m on my knees. Take me back.”

Your ex began planting tender kisses on your knees and traveled up to your thighs, still holding you. Your heart raced at his actions, but you didn’t want him to stop. You missed him. You missed him so damn much. As much as you tried to lie to yourself, you still loved him.

“Erik, get up.”

He obeyed and you took his face in your hands, caressing the sides.

“You’re such a fucking manipulative motherfucker and I hate that I love you so fucking much.”

Erik took your hands into his and kissed the insides. “I ain’t trying to manipulate you, baby. I swear I’m not. I love you and I just wanted you to know that I heard you. You just wanted a nigga to show you that he was serious about you. I get it. While you were gone, I focused on myself and fixed myself because I admit I was dragging my ass with doing that while we were together. It was because I thought you were here to stay so I had all the time in the world to get my shit together. When you left, I saw that I was wrong. I was wrong as fuck.”

You didn’t say anything. You just let him keep talking.

“I love you, baby. All I’m asking for is a second chance to make this right, but if you say no, I’ll sell this house and leave you alone for good. I swear on my Pops’ grave, I’ll leave you the fuck alone, Y/N.” His words were so heartfelt. “I don’t wanna go unless you make me.”

You were hyperventilating through your tears, then a smile formed across your face. “Erik, I love you. I love you so much, baby.”

Erik tackled you with frequent kisses on your lips and it turned into a whole passionate make-out session. He planted kisses all over your neck while he unbuttoned your blouse and you could feel his hard dick through his pants.

“Fuck. I missed this. I missed us.” You breathed when his lips met yours, once again.

“I missed us too, baby.” Erik rested his forehead against yours and stared into your eyes with so much love. “Be my wife.”

You backed away from him and furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

“You heard me. Marry me, baby. I don’t wanna waste any more time.” He saw the look on your face and his joyful expression turned somber. “You don’t want to marry me?”

You shook your head. “It’s not that, Erik. I always wanted to but just because we getting back together doesn’t mean I wanna rush into a marriage. We gotta fix us first. We can’t even fix us right now because I still have to break up with Michael.”

Erik put a hand through his hands and blew air out of his mouth. “You right.”

“And the way you asked sucked.” You deadpanned but found yourself laughing afterward and he face palmed himself. “Seriously? After all this time, I deserve a better proposal than that.”

Erik chuckled and placed a soft kiss on your lips. “You right. Once again. Imma do better.”

And when he said he would do better, you knew he wasn’t just talking about the proposal.

“You better. I ain’t giving you a third chance. This ain’t baseball!”

This caused him to guffaw, pull you into a tight, loving embrace, and kissed you once again. He had a grin on his face that rivaled the Cheshire cat.

“You’re mines still,” Erik said as a statement and a question.

“Yep. I never stopped being yours, baby boy.”

TAGS:  @lifelover4u @dessianna1 @brattywriters-anonymous @marvelmaree​ @purple-apricots​ @blackpinup22 @ljstraightnochaser @slimmiyagi @cancerianprincess @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @vibranium-chakra @nerd-lovely @chaneajoyyy​ @ohliyaxoxo @chefjessypooh @yourfavoritefavorite @airis-paris14 @ljstraightnochaser @quietstorm-73 @msincognito67 @sociallyawkward18 @mychemicalimagines @nerd-lovely @marvelpotterlove   @destinio1 @madamslayyy @thehomierobbstark @fd-writes​ @semianta​ @raysunshine78​  @lifelover4u @dessianna1 @brattywriters-anonymous @marvelpotterlove @guccixcucci​ @blackpinup22 @ljstraightnochaser @slimmiyagi @cancerianprincess @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @vibranium-chakra @nerd-lovely @chaneajoyyy​ @ohliyaxoxo @chefjessypooh @yourfavoritefavorite @airis-paris14 @ljstraightnochaser @quietstorm-73 @msincognito67 @sociallyawkward18 @mychemicalimagines @nerd-lovely @marvelpotterlove   @destinio1 @madamslayyy @thehomierobbstark @fd-writes​ @semianta​ @raysunshine78​ @fd-writes​ @rbhp @fandom-fangirl22​ @bigchoose​

(Sorry if you got double tagged or I missed you. I need to get my tags together I know )

[lacrimosathedark]

Hamilton Inaccuracies/Corrections (because why not?)

Okay so, I saw a post on reddit that was like, “what’s some inaccuracies in Hamilton off the top of your head?” and I got a whole bunch...and then I had to double check to make sure if I was right...and I’m pretty long-winded...and  now I have this 5,000ish word monstrosity. And apparently you can only post 1000 characters at a time on reddit. Laaaaame. So here’s some Hamilton facts I’ve gathered in my brain. Since it was kinda off the top of my head despite being so long, it’s kinda vague in some places, so if anyone wants to expand on anything (or correct me if I oopsed somewhere) please do! Though nicely please.

Also I am also awful at citing things, but I know I learned some of this from @john-laurens and @ciceroprofacto so thank you.

LET’S BEGIN!

Act 1

Rachel Faucette was not a prostitute, but she was a “whore” in the sense that she did what she fucking wanted with her body. During her first marriage she may or may not have been sleeping around, but she refused to stay with John Lavien, her husband, anymore. So he had her arrested. And he could do that. Because patriarchy and theocracy. And she was essentially put in solitary confinement. You can see why she tried to leave, right? She tried to get their marriage annulled or get a divorce. I forget what the issue was but she couldn’t and eventually she just moved to another island where she met James Hamilton.

The intro song makes it seem like Alexander was an only child. He actually had an older brother, James Jr., but he kinda fucked off after their mother died, working and taking care of himself. They also had an older half-brother Peter Lavien, but I don’t think they really knew him other than as the son of their mother’s abusive ex who took everything from them when she died. John Lavien was able to do that because when Rachel was with James Hamilton, she had not been able to get legally divorced from him so she wasn’t really married to James Hamilton, so James Jr. and Alexander were illegitimate ie bastards. He was an asshole. I don't think Peter had anything against the Hamiltons, but I think he grew up to be a Loyalist so. He actually made some trouble in South Carolina for Henry Laurens, John's dad! But I think I read somewhere he also left money for Alex and James Jr. In his will, which is sweet.

This is more visual since it’s not specified in the song, but in the show, Hamilton’s cousin mimes hanging himself. Peter Lytton’s cause of death if I recall was inconclusive, but he was in his bed and there was a lot of blood. So, yeah, he didn’t hang himself.

Alexander did not punch the bursar. However he did return to Princeton later during the war and blew a canon through the school and apparently decapitated a painting of King George lololol. He was under orders, but yknow. Probably felt pretty good after he was rejected for accelerated courses. He wasn’t the only bastard rejected, though! Ben Franklin’s bastard son was too. The guy in charge of admissions, Witherspoon, hated bastards as a concept and Princeton was a very religious school at the time I believe.

It may have been the plan by Aaron and Esther Burr for Aaron Jr to graduate Princeton, but like, he couldn’t really be sure of that? He was like 2 years old when they died, and his older sister Sally was 4 I believe, maybe 5.

Hercules Mulligan met Alex in 1772. His older brother Hugh knew Alex’s old employer in St. Croix and helped him get to mainland America. Alex and Hercules lived together for a long while, and Hercules is actually who got him interested in the revolution.

John Laurens was in England in 1776. He wouldn’t meet Hamilton and Lafayette until he accepted his post as Washington’s aide-de-camp upon his return in August of 1777.

Lafayette couldn’t have met Hamilton before August 1777 because that’s when he met Washington, and he was appointed as a volunteer to the Continental Army only a week prior, and before that he had been in France. But Lafayette later declared their relationship to be like that of brothers, Alexander his closest connection in the states besides Washington.

Lafayette admired and absolutely adored Laurens and they were besties, but neither of them knew Mulligan. They may have met in passing, or heard about him from Hamilton, but nothing more.

“Lafayette” was actually a nickname based on his title of “Marquis de la Fayette”. In his autobiography, he wrote: “It’s not my fault I was baptized like a Spaniard, with the name of every conceivable saint who might offer me more protection in battle.” I’m glad he thought it was funny at least. His name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de la Fayette.

Hercules Mulligan is not known to fuck horses.

The Revolution had already sorta started. Actually, Hercules and Alexander had been part of local militias before 1776.

This is more of a miscommunication since the actors are close in age, though the lyrics try to get it across. There’s a reason Mulligan says he’s got the others “in loco parentis”. In 1776 Hamilton and Lafayette would have been 19, Laurens would have been 22, and Mulligan would have been 36.

I think we all know “Laurens, I like you a lot” does not cover the scope of their relationship but that’s rather self explanatory so unless someone asks I’ll leave it at that. And for other clarifications. But at the very least I’ll share this: Anyone who saw them knew they were like attached at the hip (without knowing how attached *winkwonk*) and you could almost always contact one through the other. Laurens was notoriously bad at answering letters, to Hamilton too (and Alex did bitch about it because he is insecure and needs love), but it became quickly known he got back to Hamilton fastest so people would be like “Tell Laurens I said hi!” or “Hey, I need to get these to Laurens, you send them to him.” Which is hilarious. I just imagine Alexander going, “Why me?”

While all of them are Revolutionaries, Laurens is the only one you could solidly call an abolitionist, and Mulligan’s even shaky on the manumission part. He was supposedly part of the Manumission Society Hamilton helped start, but Mulligan also personally owned slaves and was never known to have freed them (One helped him with spy shit. His name was Cato!). In fairness, Hamilton and Lafayette wholeheartedly agreed with Laurens, and Hamilton was the biggest supporter of his battalion plan, and both of them did try to continue working towards equality after the war, but it was never the top priority for either of them and their lives kinda went to hell, so it fell to the wayside. Lafayette actually did some nifty stuff worth looking at, and Hamilton might have tried to keep one of John Lauren’s freed men from Henry Laurens! But as slavery stuck around for a while, it clearly wasn’t anything significant.

Angelica would meet and befriend Thomas Jefferson in Europe, but she would never manage to convince him to put women in a sequel because he’s a huge misogynist and told her in multiple letters that politics isn’t for women and I think he deserves a shoe up his southern backside. Side note, it always bothered me that Lin played up the misogyny in the musical. I mean, yeah, all of them would be misogynists compared to us, but for their time, Hamilton wasn’t so bad. If there was anyone to play up misogyny with, it was Jefferson, because he would tell Angelica for years and years that politics could never make women happy, and that the women in France were foolish for trying etc.. Hamilton would actually discuss politics with Angelica frequently and openly. And there’s a proto-feminist in the cast that was never recognized—Aaron Burr! He respected Theodosia Sr. as an equal and she was his most valuable political ally, and he made sure Theodosia Jr. got the same education any boy of her time would have. He actually respected women to a decent degree. Not to say he wasn't as much of a ho as Hamilton cuz yeah that's accurate (but they were both disaster bisexuals more on Burr's sexuality later)

Farmer Refuted was an essay Hamilton wrote arguing against Samuel Seabury's posts. They weren't shouting in the public square(but Lin got the sass right. I love his face when Hamilton and Seabury are fighting over the podium). Seabury was also really really old, not young and cute like Thayne, hence the line about "mange". Blech.

General Montgomery didn’t take a bullet in the neck, it was a grapeshot from a canon in his head (and his thighs), but close enough I guess. Side note: Burr actually served a short interim on Washington’s staff, but only for like 10 days because they hated each other lolol.

Alexander didn’t bring Laurens, Mulligan, or Lafayette to Washington. Lafayette joined up with the Continental Army in 1777 and quickly convinced them he wasn’t like the other French nobles; he was a glory-seeking kid with a boner for America (for some reason???). Laurens was requested by Washington to join his military family and he arrived also in August 1777 just after Lafayette. Like previously stated, Mulligan was doing shit even before Hamilton did.

Alexander would not have been in charge of spy shit (though may have been somewhat involved). Washington had people like Mulligan for that, who actually saved Washington a few times. But also, the "King’s men who might let some things slide" was the tactic Mulligan used. He was actually very charming, and his wife was very high in British society and he was a skilled tailor, so they were thought of well among the redcoats, and he got a lot of information through chatting with his customers. He also could usually smooth-talk his way out of trouble. Actually, Mulligan blended in so well, when the war was over, people in the city wanted him out cuz they thought he was a Loyalist. So George fucking Washington paid him a visit and commissioned I think a coat from him, and that cleared that up. He got a LOT of business after that.

Alexander would not be Washington’s right hand man, or at least, not his only one if Lin was using that to mean aide-de-camp. In that case, Laurens would also be Washington’s right hand man, along with many men not named in the musical.

John Laurens may have been reliable with the ladies (comes with the territory of being hot, rich, and a perfect gentleman), but he most certainly didn’t want to be. His father noted, rather proudly at the time, that as a young teenager he expressed no interest in girls. John was also married by 1780, and at least Alexander knew. (he told John he'd found out in the well-known April 1779 letter. You know... “Cold in my professions...find me a wife...the length of my nose...” That one.) Because John apparently didn't tell people he was married. Laurens. Sweetheart. Get. Your. Shit. Together.

John also would not be at this ball. February 1779 to March 1780 he is fighting down south, and this ball was early 1780.

The tomcat thing may be half true. Martha Washington did supposedly name a cat Hamilton, but it was an affectionate thing. The slang tomcat meaning ho wasn’t a thing at that time, so it couldn’t be named to tease Alex for his promiscuity. I believe this was one of the many things John Adams made up to slander Hamilton.

Hamilton and Eliza had met before 1780. They had met once two years prior at a dinner her father had hosted. Also, Hamilton had been courting her friend Kitty Livingston, and his friend and fellow aide Tench Tilghman had been attempting to court Eliza, and they’d actually done at least one sort-of double date (which is adorable). So this shouldn’t have been the first time they’d seen each other. Could still be when they fell in love, though, since they started courting after this. Which is cute to think about.

Speaking of Tench and Eliza! I don't remember when this took place but Tilghman journaled it, he went out on something of a hike with a few ladies and they got to a cliff. Of course, he had to help the girls climb up. Except Eliza who started climbing by herself like a natural to the bewilderment and likely horror of the other ladies. Elizabeth Schuyler was a bamf okay?

Of course everyone knows by now, Angelica was married before Eliza. During the Winter’s Ball, she’d already eloped with Jack Carter aka John Barker Church and run away to Boston.

Their courtship was not that fast. Not like, weeks. More like months. Fun fact, Eliza is the only of the five (yes FIVE) Schuyler sisters who didn’t elope and actually got her parents permission! But here’s a heartbreaking fun fact: while Alex was courting Eliza, Laurens was taken prisoner and then on probation. He wasn’t allowed to leave the state of Pennsylvania. He was mentally in a very dark place. Alex kind of procrastinated telling Laurens about Eliza, didn’t say he was courting anyone until they were already engaged.

I can't leave this alone if I'm sad you have to be too. Alex was hella depressed during this time too. Of course he was a soldier so he couldn't see Eliza as much as he'd have liked. On top of that, he kept pushing for an exchange for John and kept getting rejected because they couldn't show preference for him. And then Laurens was sending him very few letters, of course, and the ones he did send were very depressed, even suicidal sounding. He had to work while dealing with that. He had to keep begging Eliza to write to him to be reassured that she still liked him.

No one could show up for Hamilton for the wedding. Some sources say fellow aide James McHenry showed up, but he’s the only one. Alexander even invited his deadbeat dad, offered to pay all his travel expenses and everything, guess how that turned out. So Eliza’s side of the hall was packed and his was empty. God, can you imagine how sad that is?

Another heartbreaking fun fact! John Laurens was out of probation and could have made it to the wedding, was invited (Hamilton, I kid you not, jokingly invited him to a threesome with his new wife in a letter: “I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania. I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.” (emphasis is original to Hamilton. As is the misspelling of Pennsylvania. Yes, seriously.)) and John did not go. Instead he went back to work trying to talk his way out of getting sent as an envoy to France and suggesting Alexander to take his place. You know. His boyfriend who just got married. Sure, he was right that Hamilton was better equipped for the job, but yknow. Another fun fact, one of the guys who voted for John to be the one to go to France was John’s ex-boyfriend Francis Kinloch. Who was a turncoat, and had been a royalist when he and Laurens split. How’s that for some twisty bullshit.

Sorry, this one isn’t about the musical, it’s a tangent, I just got excited about that quote. Both that style of innuendo and the misspelling of Pennsylvania are consistent in Hamilton’s writing. Listening to john-lauren’s podcast about the April 1779 letter can really help you understand how Hammy uses innuendo but also I just love listening to it it’s insightful and hilarious and I love John Laurens but y u do this and my heart hurts for Hamilton but he is also a ho but aNYWAY. As for Pensylvania...well, he kinda made that mistake on an important document. ...It’s The Constitution. He misspelled Pennsylvania on The Constitution. No big deal. Not like something that could haunt his legacy forever. Oh my god I’m so sorry.

Philip Schuyler did have sons. Five in fact. Two of them died pretty young though I think, considering there are three kids in a row named John Bradstreet Schuyler. The other two were named Philip Jeremiah and Rensselaer.

Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan were all married before Hamilton. Hercules Mulligan married Elizabeth Sanders in 1773. Lafayette married his beloved Adrienne in 1774. John Laurens was regretfully obliged to marry Martha Manning in 1776.

Sigh. Again with the misogyny. Anyway, I wanted to comment on the marriage as a loss of freedom. From what I can tell, Elizabeth helped Hercules with his spy work at home. John was literally fighting a war across the ocean from his wife, and probably having an illegal affair with Alexander (though to be fair to him, he was kind of running away from Martha because he didn't marry her for love, gosh, there are no winners here). Lafayette absolutely adored his wife but still was also fighting a war an ocean away, and had multiple affairs, at least one with his wife’s blessing. So yeah, losing your freedom with marriage? Bullshit.

Despite where it is in the musical and Eliza singing the beginning, Stay Alive is roughly about Valley Forge, which would be December of 1777 through June of 78. So before the ball and wedding. (Fun fact! A lot of people theorize Valley Forge as when Hamilton and Laurens’ relationship may have escalated into romantic and/or sexual territory. They may have had more privacy, as small temporary buildings were being made to better withstand the cold, and Hamilton was sick a lot during that time and did need tending a lot. West Indian boi did not like Northern winter.) But yeah, Congress being stupid and the army resorting to eating their horses sometimes and not being able to buy food and equipment? All true. It was a real bad winter.

Mulligan wouldn’t have to go back to New York, he never would have left. He remained there as a tailor and a spy throughout the war. He wouldn’t have been traveling with Washington.

Hamilton and Laurens didn't write essays so much as start working out John's battalion plan and writing letters trying to push for it.

This duel happened in 1778, so like. This timeline is so fucky.

Stay Alive makes it seem like Hamilton was the one who wanted to duel Lee, but it was 100% Laurens from the start. The off-Broadway version demonstrates it a bit better. Hamilton was Lauren's second to save his ass. Hamilton had a rough relationship with Washington, but Laurens admired him greatly and would have willingly defended his commander’s honor. John was a Good Boy who always bowed his head to his asshole father, even at first for his battalion plan, but John wouldn’t let even his father talk shit about Washington. Fun fact about this duel, Alex and John were late to the duel because they “got lost in the woods”. Oooookay. Suuuuuuure. And Baron von Steuben was straight. (Fact: Steuben was very gay and pretty much pushed out of Europe for it. And he actually also had challenged Lee! They talked things out before this.)

Aaron Burr was not Charles Lee’s second. His second was a Major Evan Edwards. Lin wanted a parallel with the final duel. To be fair, that was a really cool way to do it and I like it better that way.

Alexander Hamilton could NOT agree that duels are dumb and immature. He was in 10 duel challenges as a participant in his lifetime, 9 of which he was the challenger. One time he challenged two people at once. One time he challenged an entire politcal party apparently. No, I am not kidding. He had a bad day. And I think you know the one time he wasn’t the challenger.

Lee did not yield on the first shot, nor was Laurens satisfied. Lee was pretty much like, “It’s just a flesh wound!” and wanted to go another round and Laurens agreed, but Hamilton and Edwards managed to talk them down. Yes he was shot in the side. But that wasn’t all because Laurens absolutely roasted Lee at his court martial. 

Lee: Were you ever in an action before?

Laurens: I have been in several actions; I did not call that an action, as there was no action previous to the retreat. 

I love this man. So much. The sass of this man.

We don’t know if Washington was angry about the duel with Lee. We do know that Laurens, and probably Hamilton, had Christmas dinner with him two days later. When Hamilton left, it was because Washington had snapped over a misunderstanding (caused by Lafayette actually, and he really tried to make it better because Lafayette is a sweetheart), and then continued to deny Hamilton the command he requested, and he resigned. It was entirely unrelated to the duel and Laurens. However, the daddy issues are real.

I don’t know if Lafayette went to France for more funds and came back with more guns, but Laurens certainly did! Ben Franklin told him to chill, but he actually got super impatient and ended up supposedly disrespecting and maybe kinda threatening the court, demanding what he needed, and walking out. They were were kind of shocked and impressed into giving more than had been requested. Any existing deities bless John Laurens. I love him.

Lafayette actually nominated his own aide to lead the charge and Hamilton appealed for himself and Washington finally gave in to Hamilton.

Laurens was not in South Carolina. When he finally got back from France, he was sent to Yorktown. He actually was commanding the group Alexander led. (Power couple lol) He also helped with negotiations after the battle. Also, supposedly making the British play ‘The World Turned Upside Down’ on their way out was Laurens’ idea because boy is made of sass and spite.

Henry Laurens would not have sent a letter to Hamilton about John’s death. Even if he would have, he couldn’t. At that time, he’d been locked up in the Tower of London as a prisoner. We have no idea when or how Alexander found out, or who might have told him. We know he wrote to Nathanael Greene on October 25 and Lafayette on November 3 (literally 2 months after Laurens' death), and the mentions of Laurens were very short. It’s thought that he really couldn’t talk about Laurens. People have compared it to the stories of how Benjamin Tallmadge apparently couldn’t hear Nathan Hale’s name without crying.

After Yorktown Alexander resigned and John went down south to flush British troops out of the southern states. His group was ambushed at Combahee River and he decided to charge instead of wait for backup and he died. Many people think it was a combination of his usual recklessness, suicidality, and glory-seeking mixed with a desperation with the war coming to an end. It was such a small skirmish. He deserved better. He left his daughter, Frances, whom he had never met, orphaned, as her mother had died months earlier from sickness. She was adopted by John’s oldest younger sister, also coincidentally Martha Laurens (though married was Martha Laurens Ramsay).

The Levi Weeks case was years later than that, in 1800, though it was alongside Burr. Hamilton actually lost his first trial as a defense lawyer and was not with Burr.

The whole conversation where Hamilton proposes Burr help him write the Federalist Papers is fake. Lin made that up entirely.

John Church’s wealth kinda...varies. He was a gambler. At first, he was actually in quite a bit of debt. He did make it big eventually and he and Angelica moved to Europe. He really didn’t seem to be a lot of fun to most people, but Angelica eloped with him. She chose him against her father’s wishes. I don’t get why Lin kept writing lines saying she didn’t love him, at least at first. He also does this in the cut song Congratulations where she says “I languished in a loveless marriage” bish you eloped wat She also lived as a socialite and was adored by anyone who met her apparently, so like???? da fuq Lin. Didja really do Laurens dirty for these lies or at the very least uncertanties? Could you not prop up that romance without making her say she hates her husband?

Act 2

More of a personality miscommunication. Irl Thomas Jefferson was shy, quiet, and hypersensitive, nothing like how Daveed plays him. If you knew a guy like the real Jefferson in real life you might be endeared to him out of pity or because he seems sweet, but in the short time of a musical that would immediately be read as cold and unlikable. So the best way to portray “this guy is a likable asshole” is to make him loud and made of sass which is what Daveed does magnificently. So, not at all accurate to real Jefferson, but gets the concept of him across.

Thomas was not off getting high with the French. Probably. He was making negotiations for the Revolution. And abusing Sally Hemings (his, at the time, 14 year old slave, who was also his sister-in-law, and 30 years his junior, and was brought along to entertain his daughter). And actually probably chatting up with Angelica!

By the time Philip was 9, he had two sisters, Angelica (7) and his foster/adopted sister Frances Antill (6), but he also had two brothers already, Alexander Jr. (5) and James Alexander (3), with maybe another one on the way since William Stephen would be born next year.

The whole comma thing is backwards. It was Angelica who made the initial mistake. Hamilton pointedly and flirtatiously teased her about it before closing it with “Adieu ma chere, soeur” French for “Goodbye my dear, sister”. So it’s more playful and less lovey dovey in context, so the tone is all wrong. It’s not romantic, it’s teasing and snarky.

Say No To This feels like it’s over quick. The affair lasted a year, not just the summer Eliza was away.

Clermont Street wasn’t renamed until many years later.

I don’t know that Alex has always considered Burr a friend. Irl they weren’t as close, and Hamilton was keenly aware of how slimy Burr could be.

Lafayette was NOT fine. He was imprisoned a lot during the French Revolution, the poor man, and many members of his wife’s family were killed. HOWEVER! Hamilton was not just sitting by. Angelica and her husband did make an attempt to rescue Lafayette, and the Hamiltons fostered Lafayette’s son Georges Washington Lafayette (yes that was his actual name). So Hamilton also did not forget Lafayette.

Not all his defendants got acquitted, obviously. Stop being cocky, Ham.

People comment on how Jefferson whines about Hamilton’s fashion sense while literally dressed in violet velvet. The original plan was to have him in browns, but Daveed is just such a friggin star that they just had to give him something brighter and decided to go with a Prince-inspired look. Originally the browns were going to be representative of his supposed representation of farmers. Though note here: Jefferson’s agricultural representation is much the same as modern Republicans’ rural representation. More for show.

Actually, let's get political for a sec. I've done some research in my hyperfixation and in searches for Hamilton shiz I've ended up stumbling into far-right nonsense and I know how to recognize the degrees of nonsense from years of actually paying attention to it now because this is what I do apparently. Which is weird, right? Lin kinda portrays him like a lefty. Well, here's the thing. Any proud historically educated Republican will tell you that their roots are in the Federalist Party. Which is technically true. What they will neglect to mention is the flip between parties that happened when the Republicans decided to use southerners racism to their advantage in elections. Being subtly racist can get the racists and the non-racists on your side! Yeah, it's gross. Federalists are more like Democrats. The corporatists. They clearly care more about companies and Wall Street, but they put actual action into social progress on rare occasion. Democratic-Republicans are like Republicans, conservatives who don't want social change and rail against it and pretend they aren't for corporate interests while being just as bad as the other guys. But Republicans have a tendency to rewrite history to paint themselves as the good guys, or reclaim things that aren't theirs as their own. Just look at the Civil War! Or...literally just...America I guess. Yikes. But yeah, here's your warning. Don't just go looking at and trusting things labelled Federalist. It likely won't be friendly.

John Adams didn’t fire Hamilton, Hamilton left. Eventually. And this is not the only time this kind of verbal confrontation happens, and not the one that destroys the Federalist Party. That actually happens after the Reynolds Pamphlet. But John Adams hates Alexander Hamilton with the burning passion of a thousand suns and really kinda earns this.

I’m not sure if he specifically called Alex a Creole bastard but I wouldn’t be surprised, there were other similar racist and bastard-related insults. You know the tomcat thing mentioned above. He started the rumor of the affair with Angelica. He accused him of being a rake (male version of whore at the time). He also may have behind closed doors accused him of being a sodomite. His (probably gay) son Charles helped with that one, bringing back rumors from a dinner he had with Hamilton (who he was working for) and John Church because Church joked about Alex being fond of a guy. Adams probably thought working for Hamilton was what made his son gay and alcoholic (Charles was an alcoholic and may have died in part because of that; Hamilton was not an alcoholic, but he supposedly could not hold his drink. He was smol).

Jefferson, Madison, and Burr didn’t accuse Hamilton of speculation. It was James Monroe, Abraham Venable, and Frederick Muhlenberg. Lin wanted to keep consistent representation of the Democratic-Republican party. But anyway, the whole thing went to hell because Monroe sent the letters to Jefferson (or I’ve also heard Monroe gave them to Madison who sent them to Jefferson) who, the spiteful gangly fucker, started spreading rumors because fuck Hamilton, amirite? Hamilton challenged Monroe to a duel over that. And who stopped this duel? Aaron Burr. He gets to be the good guy now and then.

It wasn’t just total strangers that got Alex off the island. He was sponsored by his cousin Ann Lytton and his teacher Reverend Hugh Knox. Also, he was kind of expected to get an education and come back and help out the island...guess what he never did. Oops.

This one I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure. I think Eliza was upstate with her family when the Reynolds Pamphlet was released, away from Alex. I also know she had recently given birth to their son, William Stephen. A lot of people think Alexander had been keeping that in mind. Eliza had had a miscarriage once before, when she was under a lot of stress and alone and with the kids and he had to be away (Whiskey Rebellion), so some people think he made sure she was surrounded by her family and waited until the child was born to drop this on her, and gave her distance from him if she needed it. At least he knew he fucked up, and he really did love her.

Those weren’t Alexander’s guns. They belonged to John Church.

It was quite some time between Philip’s challenge and the actual duel.

Another age miscommunication; Eacker was 27ish and Philip was 19 when the duel happened. There was a whole 8 years between them! 

Eacker didn’t shoot early. Actually, both of them stood staring at each other for a really long time doing nothing. But Philip went to make a move and Eacker shot him.

Alex and Eliza had made up from the Reynolds Pamphlet bullshit before Philip died. When he passed, Eliza was already pregnant with the son they would also name Philip in honor of his older brother.

Hamilton wasn’t really the deciding factor in the election of 1800. But he did say that about Burr and it did help swing the vote somewhat. But also, this was before Philip died. Philip died in 1801.

If a vote is that close, you can’t win in a landslide??? That’s not how words work???? Mister Miranda????? You are a writer??????? Sir???????

Burr actually held a term as Jefferson’s Vice President.

The Burr vs Hamilton Duel was in 1804 and was actually about another election and other things Hamilton was saying about him. Burr was running to be governor of New York and lost but heard about Alexander telling people the things he listed Alexander saying in Your Obedient Servant.

Thayne should not have played Alexander’s doctor. Sydney should have played Alexander’s doctor. Do you know why? Philip and Alexander had the same doctor when they died. Alexander took that doctor with him to the duel. His name was David Hosack.

While there’s evidence to suggest Burr experienced immediate regret (he stepped forward as if wanting to see if Hamilton was okay and supposedly asked after him and wished him well before Alexander passed) in the years that followed, until he was on his death bed, he expressed nothing but neutrality or even pride for having shot Hamilton. The ‘the world was wide enough’ comment could plausibly be entirely made up, and even if it were true, it was supposedly said toward the end of Burr’s life. Burr's life was quite a ride after Alex. He tried to make like his own empire out of Texas, and then of course was tried for treason, but he got out of that, but then everyone hated him for that ON TOP OF already hating him for killing Hamilton, so he had some crazy journey around Europe for a while. He kept a journal, writing entries like letters to Theo. The most notable things I think he writes he'd "been amused for an hour with a very handsome young Dane. Don't smile. It is a male!" which implies maybe Theodosia knew her dad was bi and was at least amused by it? And he spent a while living with Jeremy Bentham, who is generally accepted to have been gay (if you want more Burr gayness look into Jonathan Bellamy and Robert Troup. Troup knew Hamilton too!). Unrelated to his sexuality but I find it important, Burr spent, in modern cash, $40 on a coconut, in his own words, "like an ass." He returned to America eventually. I dont remember if it was before or after his foreign adventures, but his beloved grandson (also named Aaron Burr) died, and then not long after, Theodosia was lost at sea on her way to visit her dad. No one knows what happened to her. It's so sad. Anyway he married a wealthy widow named Eliza, spent all her money on charity, and died the day their divorce was finalized. And Eliza Jumel's divorce lawyer was Alexander Hamilton Jr..

Poor Eliza couldn’t go through all of her husband’s papers. Her son, John Church Hamilton, finished the work for her when she no longer could and put together the biography that inspired Chernow’s that inspired Lin’s musical. (He named a son Alexander and a daughter Elizabeth. He even named one of his sons Laurens! Aw.) And we have come full circle.

The End :33

There’s probably more but that’s what I’ve got. Thanks for reading!

[thesibfiles]

Courtney going on tour right after?

Theres a misconception that after Kurts death, Courtney went straight on tour right away. This is false. The album was already set to release a few days after and they couldnt change that on such a short notice. Promotion for the album was cancelled and she pushed back the tour 4 months.

“Live Through This was supposed to provide Love an opportunity to step out from her famous husband’s shadow. “It’s annoying now, and it’s been annoying for nine years, Love said in a 1999 Jane Magazine interview of always being connected to Cobain. Released four days after Cobain’s body was found, the album’s promotion was put on hold. Rather than retreat from the public eye, Love openly mourned and helped fans of Cobain and Nirvana make sense of the singer’s death. She sat with grieving teenagers gathered outside the couple’s Seattle home and recorded a reading of parts of his suicide note that was played at the singer’s memorial that gathered near the Space Needle. In the days following his death, Love showed a very raw and emotional side and admitted that, like many fans, she didn’t have all the answers. 

It was, and still is, impossible for people to discuss Live Through This without noting the irony of the album’s title. Love has said the name was not a prediction at all, but instead a reflection of all she had endured in the months leading up to its release, including a very public custody fight with the Los Angeles Department of Family Services over daughter Frances Bean. Rumors suggested that Cobain had written much of Live Through This (it’s Miss World, not Mister, just FYI). “I’d be proud as hell to say that he wrote something on it, but I wouldn’t let him. It was too Yoko for me. It’s like, ‘No fucking way, man! I’ve got a good band, I don’t fucking need your help,’” was Love’s response to critics in Spin’s oral history of Live Through This. Love and Cobain often shared notebooks and lyrics with each other, and while there is talk of Cobain’s influence on Love’s work, or the writing of all of it, less is mentioned in the press of her impact on his lyrics and music. Rather than sucking all the life out of Nirvana or threatening the success of the band, like many assumed she would do, she inspired Cobain. Fun fact: In Utero, Nirvana’s last album, was named after a line from one of Love’s poems.

Sadly, songwriting rumors would be replaced by other rumors. Women are often vilified and condemned for the deaths of their male partners. Love, like all women, was supposed to save her partner from death and addiction. Fans of Cobain projected all their anger and resentment over the loss of the Nirvana front man onto Love, and soon she was blamed for not only his addiction but also his death. There are even two movies devoted to the theory that Courtney killed Kurt: the awful Soaked in Bleach (2015) and the equally awful Kurt & Courtney (1998). If you think we’ve come a long way, baby, sadly we haven’t. 

One year after Anthony Bourdain’s death, Asia Argento is still being blamed, and in September 2018, Ariana Grande had to take a break from social media after fans blamed her for the death of her ex Mac Miller. A few months later, she would be blamed for new beau Pete Davidson’s mental health and addiction issues. It’s amazing she finds the time to write hit songs what with all the dude destruction she has going on. When women are not being blamed for the deaths of the men in their lives, they are being attacked for not grieving properly. “She wasn’t crying. She’s got $30 million coming to her. Do you blame her for being so cool?” a hospital staffer said of Yoko Ono following John Lennon’s murder in 1980. 

About four months after Cobain’s death, Love went on tour to promote her new album. Some questioned and judged why she would go on tour so soon, but Love has said it was a necessity. She had a young daughter to support. She needed to work. She also, sadly, still needed to prove herself. “I would like to think that I’m not getting the sympathy vote, and the only way to do that is to prove that what I’ve got is real,” Love told Rolling Stone in 1994.

Twenty-five years later, Cobain’s death still hangs over Live Through This. In the days leading up to the anniversary of Cobain’s death, former Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur wrote an open letter to music magazine Kerrang saying she “would not stand for Kurt’s death overshadowing the life and work of the women he left behind this year.”

“We were extremely well designed for each other,” Love has said of her relationship with Cobain. In a letter reprinted in Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love, she calls him “my everything. the top half on my fraction.” The two had similar upbringings, both came from broken homes and spent childhoods shuttling between relatives and friends. They both grew up longing for love and acceptance. When we tell the story of Kurt and Courtney we talk about drugs and destruction, but we don’t talk enough about love.

The two also shared an intense drive and ambition. “I didn’t want to marry a rock star, I wanted to be one,” Love said in a 1992 Sassy interview. Evidence of her drive can be found in the many notes and to-do lists she kept, some of which are collected in Dirty Blonde. There are reminders to send her acting résumé to agencies, to write three to four new songs a week, to “achieve L.A. visibility.” A scene in the documentary Kurt & Courtney features an ex of Love’s reading from one of her to-do lists, which has “become friends with Michael Stipe” as the number one task to complete (not only did Love do this, but he is her daughter’s godfather). This ambition is not surprising from a woman who, when she was younger, mailed a tape of herself singing to Neil Sedaka in hopes of getting signed. Love knew what she wanted at an early age, and what she wanted was fame.

She was certainly living by the “do not hurt yourself, destroy yourself, mangle yourself to get the football captain. Be the football captain!” motto she championed in the 1995 documentary Not Bad for a Girl. Ambition is often a dirty word when it is used to describe women and Love is no exception. She has been repeatedly described as calculating and controlling when she should be rewarded for her blond ambition and viewed as an inspiration. Critics and the press often call her a gold digger who only married Cobain for fame and money. They fail to mention that when the two met Pretty on the Inside was actually selling more copies than Bleach, Nirvana’s debut album. Even post-Kurt, Love’s intentions were always under scrutiny. On the Today Show to do press for The People vs. Larry Flynt, Love refused to talk about her past drug use, despite the host’s repeated questions, saying the topic was not an appropriate fit for the show’s demographic. She was right, but it didn’t stop a writer from describing the move as “calculating” in a 1998 Spin piece.

Cobain was ambitious too; he was just much slyer and more secretive about it. He was known to call his manager and complain when MTV didn’t play Nirvana’s videos enough, and he would correct journalists who misquoted the band’s sales figures in interviews. While success is typically celebrated and rewarded for men and it certainly was for Cobain, he also had to be mindful of the slacker generation that loved Nirvana and greeted success — and especially mainstream success —

While female celebrities like Love are criticized for their rebellion, male celebrities, like Cobain for example, are celebrated and mythologized for it. Cobain and Love both struggled with addiction, but it is Love who is repeatedly vilified for her drug use. “She was vilified for being a mess, for being a drug addict, for not being a great parent — in other words, all of the things we expect in a male rock star,” said Bust magazine in a piece in the magazine’s 20th anniversary issue, which featured Love on the cover.

We make jokes about the drug antics of male celebrities from Keith Richards to Charlie Sheen, idolizing their debauchery and depravity. The new Netflix/Lifetime movie by Jack Daniels, The Dirt, about Mötley Crüe, takes the band’s excesses to almost comic levels. Check out crazy tourmate Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants by a hotel pool! Such zany antics! I would love to see Lindsay Lohan try to get away with that. We never allow women to live down their arrests and their addictions, but we repeatedly allow men to have a redemption arc. Robert Downey Jr. was in and out of jail and on and off drugs for much of the mid to late ’90s, but we rarely, if ever, talk about his past.

When Love isn’t being attacked for her addiction issues, she is being judged for her parenting. Love’s first unflattering press was “Strange Love,” the much publicized 1992 Vanity Fair profile by Lynn Hirschberg. While the piece talks at length about Love’s drug use and constantly questions her parenting ability, it doesn’t paint Cobain in the same light. “It is appalling to think that she would be taking drugs when she knew she was pregnant,” says one close friend in the piece. Hirschberg relies on many unnamed sources and focuses often on the tabloid-like aspects of Love’s life and addictions. “Courtney has a long history with drugs. She loves Percodans (‘They make me vacuum’), and has dabbled with heroin off and on since she was eighteen, once even snorting it in Room 101 of the Chelsea Hotel, where Nancy Spungen died,” she writes. “Reportedly, Kurt didn’t do much more than drink until he met Courtney.” (Even when it is reported by Kurt and Krist that Kurt tried heroin in 1989, way before Courtney, It was also known that he smoked weed and used caugh syrup to get high in 1989 and 1990.)

This double standard was common in coverage of the couple. In Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, the 2015 documentary by Brett Morgen, Love asks her husband, “Why does everyone think you’re the good one and I’m the bad one?” Later in the film we see a scene of Frances Bean’s first haircut. The child sits on Cobain’s lap while Love searches for a comb and scissors. The camera shows Cobain nodding off, and while he maintains that he is just tired, it’s clear he’s not. The scene is painful to watch, especially because those around Cobain carry on like nothing in wrong, giving the feeling this is just like any other day in the Love-Cobain household. The scene is a reminder of how the press treated Cobain’s addiction when he was alive. They just carried on like nothing was wrong, instead directing all their judgement at Love.