#tell me if I should add any other tw

[blackberry-s0da]

Day 16: decomposition

[pinkpoweredpunk]

last post was. semi a joke but genuinely since I was a kid I wished I could be a pokemon. it was probably a stress response thing to school and being bullied and loneliness but whenever I played with my childhood Lilipup I always pretended I was one too (he probably thought I was nuts lol)

but like. that’s normal kid stuff right? most people wish they were a pokemon at some point. but the thing is like. I Don’t Think those feelings ever um. went away? like they were supposed to?? I feel like. I kinda forgot about them after I became a trainer but lately I feel like they’re still. kind of there.

I spent the last three years trying to gain more confidence in my body, and like- in a way I have, I don’t carry any of that internalized fatphobia that I got ingrained into my skull growing up, for the most part anyway, but now it’s like. objectively I’m proud of my body but still when I look in the mirror there’s still something that seems. off? again not in an internalized fatphobia way I. Don’t know how to explain it grr

and also!! sometimes whenever I’m happy I get this like. EXTREMELY vivid imaginary sensation of a tail wagging. or ears pinning back if I was upset. it’s so weird.

sorry I’m. probably not making any sense I’m gonna go take on the gym now

[seaweedstarshine]

Eleventh Doctor Chronicles: Sins of the Flesh is really good. Really really good. Experience with certain attitudes can be so isolating, surrounded by people who won’t bother to understand the impact of growing up in that environment (because the world's so progressive now, right), and so — I'm so glad it exists. I also liked the discussion in the interview commentary about how being a monster and doing monstrous things are not mutually exclusive. Like most things, homophobia is pervasive because it is structural. Religious fervor is not inherently bad — “your god is love,” Valarie says to Lily — but as soon as hellfire is brandished around, it's used routinely to empower monstrous things, in a way that becomes unsafe to debate. Especially for young & dependent people who can't escape it.

Conditional love. Moral panics. Purity culture. Self-hate. Mob mentality. This audio. It's timely.

I appreciated what they said in the interviews about not only about the research, but the four rounds of sensitivity readings. I wish the TV show had that level of care sometimes…

[asiadoesstuff]

Ok, So…

TW for themes of War, and what’s going on in Gaza being taken lightly!

My Dad is very strange for saying this, but…

Every day, when the Geyser Event in Sky COTL comes around, my Dad comes over to me and says: “It’s time for Gaza!! Are you going to Gaza?? You should go to Gaza!!”

And I’m sitting here like: “…..What???😀”

The first time he did this: I told him that that was quite insensitive to say that, along with asking why he called the Geyser Event that.

He just responded with that “A Geyser Exploding sounds like a Bomb”.

WHAT.😦

So now, every single day, he says that exact same phrase, and I keep telling him to stop, but he just calls me “Sensitive” and “Can’t handle Dark Humour”.

Now:

Yesterday, he told me to write down all the times Sky COTL Events happen. Now it is Today, he has yelled at me to do it.

He handed me a piece of paper, with the top labelled “SCOTL”, and then had all the Event names (that his minuscule brain can remember) written down below it.

He missed out Sunset/Turtle, even though I have told him many times that that Event exists; I have also told him all the times Sky COTL Events happen, yet he seems to always forget; He also yelled at me for “Not telling [him]” (I did) About the Clock changing over, thus making all the Events happen an Hour Forward, even though I had told him as soon as the Hour jumped on Sky COTL.

Anyways:

He hands me the Paper with all the labels, and guess what he has written down?

SCOTL

GAZA :

G’MA :

And at this Point, I thought: “That’s it”; And decided to make this Post, because I can’t be the only one thinking that this is insensitive, right?

Right??

I really don’t know what to do in this situation.

[tana-draws]

So I have never seen NBC Hannibal but I know it’s popular on Tumblr so I feel the need to come clean on something.

I thought Hannibal was a real person for multiple years. Like since I first heard the name when I was like eight or nine I assumed he was a real cannibal serial killer like Jeffery Dahmer. So make of that what you will.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I don't know whether I'll continue to work on this, because as it is I'm surprisingly happy with it, and my skill doesn't extend much beyond this at this point.

I've put this particular piece of art under the cut, because while it's not graphic, it contains (stylised, if that's the word I'm looking for) a depiction of self-harm cuts, otherwise known as 'what my wrist looks like at the moment', although the colouration is for style/effectiveness alone and is not indicative of the damage itself.

It's certainly not gory, but I figured it should be under the cut anyway. I don't know quite what else to say. I don't mind feedback or otherwise. Reblogs are encouraged but not reposts thanks. :)

Actually I would love feedback please and thankyou.

[i-set-my-autism-on-fire]

Feeling so proud of the writing I've done so far for the fic

I've captured King Sombra's personality exactly how I wanted to, and it feels vile to hear his thoughts read outloud.

✨ Sneak Peek at what I'm working on ✨

Guess now is as good a time as ever to create the ship tag lol

Btw, this fic is about two villains meeting, falling in love, and redeeming themselves for each other. Letting you know in case that isn't your cup of tea, especially with this in the prologue.

[mockingbirdshymn]

coughs sputters gives you a thumbs up

hi have some harrison angst for tongue tied the fic im working on WOAHHHH WOWIE

pov harrisons parents shun him for his magic and he internalizes it till all of it spills out in front of the two people he cares about the most

i have no clue if the dnd part is accurate and i don’t like how i described harrison’s hands as gloved twice in a row but whatever that’s what drafts are for

[howoffcentre]

You've been the only one I love, and love believes but-

and death is the love of what hurts you the most, so you drink your day away till you're warm as paradise

[dededone]

Ana Mendieta was an amazing artist. Her art covered topics such as sexual violence, abuse and sexism but if you're okay to see art with those topics, then you should definitely check it out. she died in 1985, murdered by her husband Carl Andre. He was acquitted, though, despite the fact that there were reports of them arguing minutes before she died, her yelling the word no before falling to her death and the fact that his face was covered in scratches afterwards which were not there beforehand. She had been pushed out of a window on the 33rd floor of the apartment building. Her art is amazing and i hope that she is never forgotten and that her art continues to be an inspiration to artists around the globe.

[hymenoptera07]

being trans and disabled myself i really don't get why you would WANT to be either of those things. like. willingly . it's not fun or cute or quirky like????? i just don't get it

reminder as well, it's useless to harass people over it, there's too many people like this for it to really amount to anything, it's best to just ignore them instead of going out of your way to give them shit

For those wondering what all this “cis” and “trans” disability stuff comes from, here you go.

Makes no sense and is offensive to me tbh.

I’m sure some of my actual transgender friends think it’s offensive too.

Update: hid the names so people don’t get harassed or anything.

[aurorawritestoescape]

WALLET PHOTO || DBF!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel and you are in a secret relationship but one day Joel notices that you’re not very careful at keeping the secret.

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, fluff, age gap (how big is up to you), soft!Joel, taking nudes, praise kink, f!oral, unprotected piv (wrap it up), squirting, creampie. Reader wears a skirt. Pics are only for the mood, reader has no physical description.

Word count: 4,3k

A/n: written for @justagalwhowrites ‘s Joel Miller Birthday celebration! I chose dbf Joel and secret relationship. Thank you for a wonderful challenge, Kit 💕and Happy Birthday to tloml, Joel Miller!❤️ Kisses to @milla-frenchy for beta-ing😘 I’ve never written dbf and I hope y’all like it! Love you! Dividers by @/saradika-graphics

MASTERLIST || more soft Joel - Good Girl || Sweet Cherry

After an afternoon movie date with Joel you’re sitting on your bed in your room with a shoe box on your lap. Joel’s leaning against the door frame, watching you with a soft smile. Your noisy roommate is not in so you two are enjoying each other’s company in the quiet apartment.

Joel knows about your big collection of movie tickets and doesn’t ask any questions when you take today's trophy out of your wallet with a content smile and place it in the box. You’re telling him how much you hate the introduction of electronic tickets when Joel interrupts you.

"Hey! Show me that.”

With his expression serious all of a sudden he steps up towards you, his arm stretched and waiting.

“What?"

"Your wallet. Give me.”

“Ehm... no.”

You're hurriedly trying to shove it back into your tiny handbag but Joel’s too fast. He bends down, yanks the wallet out of your fingers and opens it. You sigh deeply when he looks down at you with a heavy scowl that speaks volumes.

You don’t say anything and after a few moments of heavy silence he breaks it.

“Baby”.

You probably should feel concerned but the thunder in his voice sends shivers of excitement down your spine, your heartbeat increases and you gush into your panties.

"What?"

"Why do you have my photo in your wallet?"

You pout your lips and reply with defiance,

"To look at you."

He puts his hands on his hips, his usual stance when you behave like a brat, your wallet still clenched between his thick fingers, and his usually warm but now fiery eyes under the furrowed brows are boring into you.

“What if your dad sees it?”

"He won't."

"How can you be so sure? I’ve noticed it. He might as well."

"Well..,” you start and pause, looking everywhere but his piercing eyes.

"Well what?"

“I don't know, Joel! Stop grilling me!” you exclaim, finally breaking under pressure. Then you look up at the man with your best puppy eyes and explain, “I love this photo. I love looking at it when I miss you.”

Joel sighs and his arms fall in defeat. His softness washes away the displeasure off his handsome face as soon as he notices that you’re upset.

His voice is warm and comforting again when he argues,

"But you have a bunch of my photos on your phone.”

"Yeah, but… This is different. I love having it here. I open my wallet and BAM! You’re staring at me. So handsome and mine.” Your eyes downcast, you add, “My heart feels warm and shit when I see it.”

"Warm and shit. Jesus. You'll be the death of me, missy."

With a deep sigh he hands you the wallet back and when you are about to grab it, he clasps your wrist and gently pulls you off the bed and into his embrace. You press your nose to his warm chest, hidden behind the softest flannel, and take a deep breath of his scent. His big heart is beating steadily under your palms, his arms, muscular and strong, shield you from the outside world that is unfortunately not receptive to your relationship.

You feel a kiss planted on the top of your head and look up at Joel. Your eyes lock as you talk without speaking, confess the things that both of you have no guts to verbalize yet. Instead you connect by sharing the warmth of your bodies, letting your heartbeats harmonize with each other.

As always when you’re with Joel, the warmth quickly morphs into scorching fire and your body starts demanding him just as much as your heart. Your core ignites, sending flames of wet desire to your aching pussy and you lick your lower lip, inviting your secret lover to get a taste.

“My beautiful girl”, Joel whispers, as his pupils dilate, eyes slide over the curve of your mouth and he leans down. The kiss, gentle, slow and wet, soon overwhelms you, makes your whole body tremble with need and you cuddle into his arms as close as you can.

Joel seems impatient to have you too and when he slightly bucks his hips, you feel him stiff against your lower belly. You breathe out his name and take a step back, pulling him by the hand towards your bed. He sits down on the foot of it and you swiftly straddle his thighs.

“Damn, baby,” Joel growls as you plant a soft kiss on his cheek and your hips start rolling gently against his hard bulge. He throws your open wallet on the bed and you turn to look down at the photo.

Joel follows the direction of your eyes and says with a soft smile, “I remember that day.”

“Yeah, it was my birthday. You looked so hot in that blue shirt.”

“Really?” Joel beams at you like a cat sitting in the sun and his dark eyes are darting between yours while his hands are gripping your hips tighter.

“Yeah. We weren't together yet but I was already… I already liked you.”

“Oh,” Joel mumbles and then tilts his head, brows furrowed. “Didn’t ya have a boyfriend back then? I remember some guy being there with you.”

“Yeah, I did,” you smirk and then nuzzle his scruffy cheek, purring against it, “but the entire party I was wet because of my dad’s buddy.”

Joel growls and squeezes the softness of your hips as you sit straight and admit, locking eyes with him,

“ ‘s why I took that photo. Wanted to have something of you.”

Joel’s looking up at you as if you’re an angel fallen

from heaven. Not used to expressing his feelings, he pulls you closer, kisses your cheek and hugs you tightly.

“I… never thought I’d feel all this again. Never thought you’d be mine. ‘m lucky to have you.”

You hold your breath and freeze in his arms, scared to ruin this beautiful moment.

Joel pulls away from you and searches for your eyes.

"I want your photo too, sweetheart. Wanna feel warm and shit when I open my wallet," he quotes you with a wink and adds, "Your dad be damned."

You giggle, the sound ringing with excitement, and swiftly get off him.

“Let’s take it now!”

You hurry to your desk, open the first drawer and look for your Polaroid camera. Then you return to Joel, handing it to him.

“Where should I sit?”

You look about your bedroom, chewing on your lip, searching for the best place to pose at.

“Not the bed, baby. I should have at least the benefit of the doubt if someone sees it.”

You laugh and then take a seat in your chair at the desk, thighs pressed together, covered partially by your short skirt, hands clasped in your lap.

Joel gets up, and when you give him your most innocent smile, he pushes the button.

The picture slides out immediately and Joel pulls it out and starts shaking it, stepping up to you, waiting for it to develop.

“If I look bad, we’ll take another one, k?” you ask, your big eyes directed at Joel.

“You couldn’t look bad even if you tried, baby.”

Warmth fills your chest as he cups your cheek and you nuzzle his warm palm. Then you impatiently take the photo from his hand and look at it.

“It’ll do,” you comment with a happy grin.

You show it to Joel and he bends over and squints looking at it.

“Do you need your glasses?” You ask with a naughty smile and Joel throws you the look.

“I don’t,” he straightens up and takes the photo from you to inspect it closely.

“Huh. You look like such a good girl.”

You fake gasp, plant your hands on your knees and bat your lashes at him with exaggeration.

“Ain’t I a good girl, Joel?”

The man puts the photo on your desk and steps up so close that his jeans brush your naked knees. You squirm when he pinches your chin and tilts your head up to face him.

“We both know how bad this good girl can get.”

The way he says it, voice low and gruff, eyes blown out and full of fire, sends shivers down your spine and you feel a new surge of wetness spill into your already soaked panties.

“Yeah,” you agree and bite your lip when an idea lights up in your mind. “We can take one more photo. Of your bad girl.”

Joel’s chest expands, and he shifts his jaw while his hungry gaze is sliding down your body.

“You’ll let me?”

You nod, melting under his scorching look.

His expression is serious, almost dark, when he takes the camera off the desk. You try to contain your excitement, calm down the fire burning deep in your core, before you take a deep breath. Joel steps back and sits down on the bed, thighs spread, holding the camera in his big hands but not lifting it to his eyes.

“Show me what you wanna do, baby.”

“Ohh.” You raise your eyebrows playfully at the man. “You can be unhappy with my pose?”

“What if my bad girl gets too shy to come out?” He smiles and you bite your lower lip, giddy with the challenge presented to you.

After a few moments of contemplation you start by taking your top off. You give Joel a little show, sliding the clothing off your body slowly, gliding your hands over your exposed skin. Soon you’re left sitting in your lacy bra and a skirt and Joel seems to love it. He throws his thighs wider and adjusts his prominent bulge.

Wishing to show him your assets in the best way, you lean against the chair and arch your back, pushing your tits out. Your nipples are hard under the thin lace and Joel definitely sees them.

“You’re beautiful, baby,” Joel praises you in a soft tone but then tilts his head to the side, a smirk twisting his lips. “Wish you showed me more.”

You narrow your eyes at the man.

“I hope you’re ready for what’s coming,” you say and seductively pull down your skirt. Joel’s eyes immediately dart to your lacy thong. Now you’re sitting only in your underwear in front of Joel, who’s still fully clothed. When you glide your palms over your body to entice the man, your arousal spikes and you desperately wish for it to be Joel’s big hands.

“Wanna take a pic now?” You know that Joel’s on the verge of getting up and ripping the last of the clothes off you but he surprises you with his reply, as he places the camera on the bed next to him.

“Not yet, sweetheart. You can do better.”

Your jaw drops at his audacity and you wriggle in the seat, trying to alleviate the ache between your legs, probably leaving a wet stain on the chair.

‘He wants to play? Let’s play,’ you think and purr,

“Careful what you wish for, Mr Miller.”

Joel’s nostrils flare and a low growl rises up from his chest when he hears what you called him.

Your mischievous smile indicates that you know exactly what you’re doing and you don’t plan on stopping. Joel is always gentle with you but sometimes it’s fun to wake the other side of him, a passionate man driven by desire, ready to grab, manhandle and fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before.

So with a half sigh-half moan you hook your thumbs under the straps of your bra and slide them off your shoulders while Joel’s dark eyes are following your every move. His gaze glosses over when you pull your bra cups down and expose your breasts to his hungry eyes.

“Ohh, that’s my girl,” he croaks, moving closer to the edge of the bed, as if he’s ready to pounce on you any second.

“Still a good girl, Joel?” you purr, kneading the soft plush of your tits, and spreading your thighs a little wider.

Joel seems to be lost for words as you take the bra off and languidly move your hips back and forth, riding the chair, desperately wishing it to be Joel’s hips. Your sexy taunting backfires as the friction on your aching pussy spikes your need and you plead,

“Can you already take the pic?”

Not tearing his eyes off your body, Joel grabs the camera off the bed but still doesn’t direct it at you.

Your heart beats faster when you realize what he’s waiting for.

You’ve started dating Joel recently so every time you show him THAT part of you, your pussy, your whole body still trembles with nerves and excitement. Joel never pushes you, never asks for more that you wish to give him but you can’t help but feel a little anxious.

Before you step over the edge, you take a deep breath and spread your thighs wider. You trace your seam under the panties with your middle finger and your skin erupts with chills at the light caress. You tilt your hips up to show him more and Joel leans slightly forward and wets his lips when his eyes land on the wet spot on the fabric.

“Shall I take my panties off, Mr Miller?” Your voice is shaky with lust, as you press your finger to your hardened clit over the soaked panties. A needy moan flies out of your parted lips and Joel echoes it with a groan.

“Yeah, sweetheart. Please, show me.”

His self control is crumbling, judging by the strain in his voice. You don’t make him wait for long. You lift your hips and in a second your panties fall on the floor.

“Ohh, baby.”

Joel’s soft moan at the sight of your naked pussy gives you the needed courage, drowns your shyness in a deep pit of desire, and you slowly lift and plant your feet on the edge of the chair, one and then the other.

Your pussy opens up, weeping hole clenching, calling for your lover, and your chest and belly heave when you caress your mound and then slide your middle finger between your wet folds.

“Joel,” you whimper and his will breaks.

He gets up, brings the camera to his eyes but then lowers it to ask,

“Can I take a few photos of you?”

You smile and whisper a sultry ‘ yeah’ and Joel pushes the button, taking a photo of you sitting on the chair, your nipples perked up, legs bent and spread, hand resting between your thighs as you look up at him with your gaze lustful and needy.

He’s inching towards you and every few seconds takes another photo. Click-click-click.

“Damn, I — you’re— fuck, so hot.”

You giggle and, wanting to give him more, run your hands over your naked body so he could capture your fingers pushing your breasts together, twitching your nipples, gliding through your puffy folds. The pictures are falling on the floor, one by one, blank yet, creating a path as he’s slowly walking towards you.

Your pussy is crying, clear desire trickling from your hole and onto the chair, and you whimper when he kneels in front of you and glances up, waiting for your approval. Your cheeks burn but you nod with a smile, letting him capture the most sacred part of you.

Joel’s breathing heavily as he brings the camera to his eyes and directs it at your glistening cunt.

When the photo appears, he doesn’t look at it. Instead he’s focused on your expression, pained and needy, and your desperate ‘Joel’ falling off your lips drives him crazy. He puts the camera on the floor and clasps his big hands around your ankles.

“Are you achin’, sweetie? Do you want me to kiss your sweet pussy?”

“Yes, Joel, please, ye—”, he doesn’t let you finish, his warm lips immediately press to your cold wet folds.

A string of your loud moans fill the room after he grabs your hips, throws your thighs on his shoulders and begins eating you out. He starts with open mouth kisses to your inner thighs, slowly moves to your sopping center and licks a path from your hole to your pulsating clit. He gently sucks it into his mouth and you clench your fist in his curly graying hair, your pussy gushing onto his chin. Joel feels your wetness on his skin and lowers his mouth to drink everything you're offering him, like it’s nectar of the gods itself.

“Sweet—sweet little pussy—mine—ya mine, baby,” he mumbles and his words vibrate against your cunt, making you writhe and whimper, as he’s bringing you higher to the peak.

“Oh my god, Joel,” you whine as his tongue begins a lascivious dance over your clit, his wet hot muscle swirling around it, rubbing it tirelessly and it’s not long until you cry out into your palm and shake, twitch, jerk against the chair, against Joel’s unyielding lips, still caressing you through the hard climax.

You sigh happily when your body relaxes, and completely drunk on endorphins, with half-lidded eyes, see Joel’s face looking up at you from between your thighs. His gaze is lustful, chin glistening with your slick, and you sit up to kiss the man who has just rocked your world.

Joel reaches up to you and you meet him halfway, wrapping your arms around his neck. The kiss lets you taste the tang of your juices on his tongue, and you hum at the delicious mixture of him and you.

“Need you, baby— need you now,” Joel murmurs against your lips. Eager as well you get up and lead him to the bed.

With impatient hands he starts unbuttoning his shirt, but you stop him.

“Let me, Joel, please,” you ask, your eyes pleading, and he grants your wish. You take his flannel off and then his undershirt. You know that he’s desperate to be inside you yet you can’t help but to glide your palms over the expense of his hairy chest and shoulders, marveling at the strength of his body, so big and broad and all yours. You unbuckle his belt and pull his jeans down together with his boxers.

Joel’s chest is heaving as you both look down at his hard cock, standing proudly at attention.

You bite your lip and your eyes gloss over. It’s gorgeous. You wish you could kiss it all over, take it in your mouth, let him spill his hot cum on your waiting tongue. No, he needs your warm wet pussy.

You wrap your hand around his stiffness and Joel moans, hurriedly trying to hide the sound with a fake cough.

“No, please,” you whisper, placing your palm on his chest. “I love hearing how good you feel.”

Joel slithers his arm around you and cups your butt, pulling you closer to him, and his wet tip pokes your lower belly.

“YOU make me feel good. I can never get enough of you,” he whispers in your ear and you melt under the heat of his naked body against yours, his lips leaving kisses along your neck.

“Wanna ride you,” your murmur tells him.

Joel lies down on your bed and you straddle his thighs and take his cock in your hand before lifting your hips and hovering over it. He’s still training your pussy to take him and his big cock is still a challenge for you. You brace your hand on his chest, guide his tip to your entrance, take a deep breath before starting to sink on his member, inch by inch.

Joel shuts his eyes and tilts his head back, dipping it into the mattress.

“Oh—ohhhh—fuckin’—,” a string of pleasured sounds is leaving his open mouth and you follow him, reveling in the sensation of him pushing your walls apart, filling you nicely like no one has ever had.

Finally you’re fully sitting on his cock and he opens his eyes to look down at the place you’re joined, his length completely sheathed inside your cunt.

“Will never get used to it—warm and wet— and so fuckin’ tight. Sorry, baby,” he apologizes for cursing and you reassure him with a hazy smile,

“ ‘s ok. You’re so big inside me, Joel. It’s like I can feel you here.” You put your hand on your chest and he chuckles,

“I ain’t that big, sweetheart. But thank you for the compliment.”

You giggle but the smiles are quickly wiped off your faces when you finally move on his cock. You start riding him, rolling your hips back and forth, smearing your slick over his crotch, and then bounce up and down, alternating your movements.

Joel's hands are gripping your thighs but you need him so much that you take them and hold them up, feeling your connection brighter. Joel’s looking up at you with adoration and piety, taking in your ecstatic expression, your bouncing breasts, your skin, dewy with sweat, your glistening folds, spread around his girthy cock.

“Fuckin’ angel,” he mumbles and shuts his eyes.

“Joel, look at me. Please,” you murmur.

“Can’t, baby— can’t— I’ll come too soon—you’re too sexy.”

“I don’t care. Come. I want your eyes on me.”

He doesn’t deny you and soon he’s drinking the sight of you fucking him with full gulps.

You don’t give him any respite when you place his hands on your breasts and he begins kneading them, twitching your perky nipples. Yours meanwhile travel back, as you turn slightly and find his balls under your moving pussy. You caress them in your palm, one and then the other, then gently tug on the sack.

“Jesus, baby, want me to burst? Oh, yeah—“

You both are moaning, chasing your climaxes with increasing intensity. You tilt your hips a little to press your pulsating clit against the fluff of his pubic hair and grind, grind, grind your pussy over his lower belly. Joel’s cock moving deep inside you, your clit twitching in his coarse hair, all the sensations combined light up your body and when Joel lifts his torso on his elbow and unhinges his jaw to take as much of your breast into his hot mouth as he can, you explode with a loud cry.

He’s sucking and licking your tit as you bury your nose in his soft hair and your pussy starts clamping around his cock. A surge of wetness floods your core and you moan his name desperately, soaking his stiffness.

“I’m here, baby. I gotchu.”

Joel lies back down, plants his feet on the bed and starts thrusting his hips up, plunging his cock deeper into your squirting pussy.

“Take it���take it—,” he grunts through gritted teeth, fingers digging into your soft thighs as he’s fucking you, your walls squeezing him hard, until he roars and begins spurting his cum inside you, adding to the ocean of ecstasy already filling your core. The squelching of his and your cum mixes with your moans, the music of your unity.

As soon as he stops twitching inside you, you fall on his chest and you both relax, catching your breaths, his cock slowly softening inside you.

The sweat on your skin soon cools down and you shiver.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Joel coos and, still staying under you, covers your back with a bedspread.

You get warm and almost fall asleep, lulled by his steady breathing, but Joel squeezes you and whispers against your temple,

“Got something for ya.”

He moves you off him, and you shift on the bed, after feeling a wet spot under you. It’s not the first time you squirted with Joel but it still fascinates you what he can do to your body.

Meanwhile Joel gets off the bed, picks up his jeans off the floor and shoves his hand into a pocket.

He retrieves something and sits back down next to you.

You sit up, not bothering to cover your naked breasts, and crane your neck to see what he’s got in his hands. It turns out to be a long velvet box.

“Wanted to give it to you next week. For one month anniversary. But you said that you’d wanted to have something of me. So —ehm—here.”

You see a soft blush bloom on his cheeks as he speaks and butterflies dance in your belly at how cute and sweet he is. He opens the box and with two thick fingers pulls out a gold necklace. He holds the ends of it and you see a pendant hanging on it- a little heart.

You gasp at the surprise and then squeal, throwing your arms around his neck. Joel chuckles and asks you to turn around so he could put it on.

You look down at the beautiful gift, lift the heart and press it to your lips.

“Thank you, Joel,” you whisper and then hurry off the bed.

You grab your Polaroid camera where Joel has left it and direct it at yourself. You return to Joel with another photo in your hand - a close up of your neck and Joel’s present, resting on the top of your chest.

“Here. Your wallet photo,” you smile, handing it to your lover. “Only you know it’s me. We can keep our secret.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he croaks with his eyes sparkling and pulls you in for a kiss.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

MASTERLIST || more soft Joel - Good Girl || Sweet Cherry

General tag list: @milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @evolnoomym @keylimebeag @joelmillerisapunk @pascaltesfaye

[tpwk-formula1]

Lando Norris, Thin Crust, Red Sauce,Pineapple, BBQ Chicken , Vodka redbull, Sparkling Water, Coke, Yes

With a plus-size reader, if you can. I fear there's not many plus-size fics out there with lando. If you could please and thank you. 🧙‍♀️

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

thin crust brother's best friend red sauce rough sex pineapple "Look so pretty wrapped around my cock" bbq chicken “Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby” vodka redbull squirting sparkling water spitting coke spanking dessert yes served by Lando Norris

Lando x Plus size Fewtrell! reader

TW unprotected sex, squirting, spanking, creampie, rough Lando, talks of insecurities

WC 1600+

Y/N POV

"Love, I'm not feeling the best. I think I'm gonna stay in for the day," I tell Lando softly while he was talking to my brother about the plans for today.

"You were okay this morning, what's going on? What are you feeling?" Lando asks clearly getting worried.

"It's nothing major just think I ate the wrong thing this morning," I tell him softly not wanting the whole house to hear the conversation.

"Do you need us to get you anything?" Max asked clearly being worried. I just shake my head no before turning on my foot and heading towards Lando and I's room that we have been sharing while here on Holiday for summer break.

"Hey love, what's really going on? I can see this perplexed look on your face clearly showing me that you're overthinking something," Lando asks me after he had followed me into our room.

"No I promise I'm just having tummy issues," I continue to uphold the lie. Said lie falling from my lips far easier than it should, but I was used to faking illness to get out of something.

"Love, drop the act," Lando says softly making me groan at being caught.

"Lando, I- um- I'm just a little worried about the hike to the clay. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it as fast as the rest of you guys. Don't wanna hold you back," I tell Lando softly making his face drop in realization.

"Baby, no one cares if we have to take it slow," Lando tells me making me groan and shake my head.

"You don't get it love, you're an athlete surrounded by other athletes, your 'take it slow' is basically my sprinting," I tell him softly trying to hold back tears.

"i'm sorry. Maybe I'm not the best fit person for your lifestyle," I add softly watching Lando's face snap up and turn into a dark expression.

"Hey Max I think I'm gonna stay back with Y/N and take care of her," Lando walks to the bedroom door where he opens it and shouts to my brother.

"Okay! Maybe we can go again tomorrow if Y/N is up for it," Max shouts back before Lando is closing the door and striding towards me.

"Do not turn this into our breakup. As a couple it is our job to figure out how to make our lifestyles mesh. I don't give a fuck if you're not some Olympic athlete, I don't care if a one mile walk took us 100 years to complete, that's 100 years spent with the love of my life, so I'll be fucking damned if you think you're not 'good enough' to be with me," Lando stays while striding closer to me.

"Lan, I just think you might be happier with someone who can keep up with you and your friends," I tell him softly. I wasn't trying to argue and I sure as hell don't want to break up but it's a tough conversation we need to have.

"I've grown up with you and Max our entire life, I'm used to walking in the back with you, not because I was that slow but because even at 12 I genuinely liked you and any time I could spend with you I would," Lando tells me making me think back to when we were younger and he really would walk in the back of the pack with me always the last two to arrive. Even having Lando defend me a few times against my brother and his teasing words.

"I'm sorry I've just really been in my head a lot lately," I tell him softly making him hum and pull me into his arms.

"I know I could tell, but I thought it was cause you were stressed with work not because you had been stressing about our relationship," Lando tells me softly before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm sorry for not talking to you sooner. I was just embarrassed," I admit making Lando scoff.

"I'm embarrassed that my own girlfriend was too worried to talk to me about what was bothering her pretty little mind," Lando tells me while kissing my forehead and leading us to the bed where we climb into it and throw on a random movie to watch.

Midway through the second movie Lando leans down and places a kiss on my lips and climbs into my lap.

"Lando, right now?" I questioned in a hushed tone as if anyone was still home.

"No one is here, and I need to show you who you belong to," Lando tells me while starting to pull his shirt over his head leaving me to start at his tanned chest.

Once Lando had discarded his shirt somewhere in the room he made quick work of pulling off my shirt leaving us both completely bare from the waist up.

"Fuck, love these tits so much," Lando mumbled before leaning down and sucking one of my nipples into his mouth.

"Oh, Lan," I moan softly while arching my back bringing my tits even closer to his face.

Lando pulls away and roughly flips me onto my stomach where he pulls me up by the hips so I was presenting myself to him. I was only wearing a flimsy pair of sleep shorts I had thrown on a little bit ago to get more comfortable. Lando just yanks them down my legs and lets the pool at my knees where he starts slapping my ass.

"Ow, what is that for," I whine when I feel the continued spanking.

"You need to realize how fucking beautiful you are. I'm not gonna let you walk around thinking you're anything less than perfect. So everytime you sit down for the next day, you will be reminded," lando explains with a cocky smirk.

Once Lando had reddened my ass to his liking hi quickly yanks his briefs down before roughly burying his cock into my pussy and giving me no time to adjust before he is roughly thrusting into my sopping wet pussy.

"Look so pretty wrapped around my cock," Lando groans while still keeping the brutal pace.

"So good, Lan," I whine burying my face into the pillow to try and muffle my moans but lando roughly grips on my hair and pulls me face up.

"I wanna hear your screams," Lando tells me while thrusting harder and faster to try and pull the loudest noises from me.

"Fuck," I scream out when Lando continuously hits my G-spot only bringing me closer to cumming.

"Cum for me," Lando groans when he feels my pussy clenching around his cock in anticipation.

I let go almost instantly cumming all over Lando's cock and squirting all over the bedspread.

"Fuck such a messy girl," Lando groans while helping me ride out my orgasm before he picks up the pace again.

"God, I love when you get like this," Lando groans.

Lando pulls out suddenly before he flips me over onto my back and roughly starts fucking me in missionary.

"Fuck Lando," I scream at the new angle not fully prepared for the way I was feeling Lando.

In the midst of my loud moans, I feel Lando lean down over my face before roughly spitting in my mouth. Most of it went straight down my throat but some of it sprayed my face making me whimper slightly.

"Fuck, I love seeing your tears, the way you take my cock, opening your mouth like a good slut to take my spit, fuck you were made for me," Lando groans before starting to place with my sensitive clit again.

"You're gonna cum with me this time," Lando groans while speeding up his actions making me feel the build-up of my orgasm again.

"I'm gonna cum," I warn Lando knowing I wasn't gonna be able to hold back much longer reaching the point of no return far quicker than I would have liked.

“Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby,” Lando groans out.

"Yes, fill me up Lando, wanna have your baby," I beg desperate to cum again.

"Cum with me," Lando groans before his hips started to falter from their rough thrusting before I feel his cum start to paint my walls making me cry out in another squirting orgasm.

"Fuck," I scream as I feel my squirt spray all over Lando and I making a proper mess out of our bedding.

When Lando and I finally come down from the highs of our pleasure Lando is softly pulling out of my pussy before watching his cum leak from my gaping pussy with a smirk on his face.

"God, I love making you mine," Lando groans before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"So good," I mumble out before turning into Lando's chest for comfort.

"Did so well, gonna have to clean this up before everyone gets home," Lando tells me with a smirk on his face making me groan in embarrassment.

Lando quickly got out of bed before turning the bath on where he let it fill up before coming to get me and he gently placed me in the bath before going into the room again to clean up the bedding so we had fresh sheets for when everyone arrived back.

After about 10 minutes Lando climbs into the bath me, letting my beck rest against his chest.

"I cleaned up all the evidence of how messy you get for me," Lando tells me with a smirk clearly laced in his voice. I just groan and try to hide my face in his neck while he just laughs.

"On a real note though, next time you feel like that promise me you'll talk to me," Lando tells me softly making me turn my head to face him.

"I promise," I tell him softly before leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips.

"i love you," I tell him softly making him smile before he tells me he loves me too.

[gaybutterflynerd]

Okay this is gonna be a more controversial one-

I hate to say it, but I get why. On here, on tumblr yes. Absolutely, we need to push for more acceptance of people higher on the spectrum, as well as other metal types that are still heavily stigmatized. The fact is often on here people will completely ignore people on the heavy side of any mental condition (illness or not), and pretend the most marginalized of the community do not exist be it autism, bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD, ect.

This is a problem and it needs to stop, I have always found that the same people who are constantly pushing for “neurodiversity” and “accepting all types of brains” are the same people who will assume everyone with bipolar is an abuser, or refuse to use tone indicators or speak directly even when someone says they are someone who naturally doesn’t understand social cues. Most people on this site believe that everyone regardless of any marginalized trait should be treated with equality, and respect, yet we really need to examine the biases that can cloud that in how we present these issues.

The problem is most neurotypical people do not care.

They don’t care if it’s negatively impacting people on the spectrum, some barely view them as people. They view it as a disease, an “other�� something to be cured. That’s starting to change, but only barely. Growing up I remember the disgust with which my mother always used to talk about people higher on the spectrum in private, and all the jokes people would make about people being “autistic” if they’re stupid, or how they “bet you rode the little bus to school”.

Often people make the assumption that every person inherently believes that people of different groups should be treated with equality and respect, but that assumption is wrong for many people.

It’s similar to how most view the issue of chocolate and slavery. The vast majority of people say slavery is wrong, but when it comes having to spend a couple of extra dollars or going without chocolate, most won’t ever do it and just don’t care. It’s not a problem that affects them. They have so much power over the lives of these people, there actions heavily affect these peoples lives, but if you tell them that they’ll get annoyed because “they don’t want to think about it” and “chocolate shouldn’t be expensive”. They are an “other” they’re not personalized to those people, and they don’t care what happens to them.

This is what a lot of advocacy is for and needs to do if it wants to exact change with the majority of people. As unfortunate as it is “I’m just like you” or “I can be useful and do some things better” is a much easier sell than “accept me assuming I’m a person deserving of respect”. Most people view respect as something that needs to be earned by marginalized groups, or that if they do respect those groups they’re doing them a favor. Part of normalization is trying to break down that perception and making the wider populace start viewing new things they previously did as normal and stop seeing those people as another group.

And unfortunately, mostly that comes from the people most normal to society leading the charge and being the representatives of said community. There’s a reason why lesbians headed the gay rights movement, a reason for the “straight gay” being the face of the gay rights movement, and a reason why most African American characters or people who represented the movement in the popular mind do not display any aspects of their culture. This is what is most “normal” to mainstream audiences and the process of normalization often first applies to the people who themselves are most mainstream. We’re starting to finally see mainstream representations that break out of that but the process is slow. Real progress unfortunately tends to come in baby steps. The person that gets really into TV shows is easier for most neurotypical people to accept than the person who can’t speak and has meltdowns in public.

That being said casual representations of neurodiverse and ASD traits absolutely can help especially in media. Having a character that is non verbal or stims without having that be their whole personality is not something I’ve ever seen but needs to be done more (if you know of any series and let me know I’d love to support them). We’re at the coding stage, like what happened with lgbt rights for awhile, we’ll get tons of adhd or asd coded characters but never any that can be confirmed as having specific and distinct traits of adhd or asd. I’d love to see characters that stim, characters that are nonverbal, characters that don’t understand social cues and that’s accepted and accommodated. Often fiction is a great tool for humanizing marginalized groups and I’d love to see this more.

I get this is a debate with- well basically every rights movement when it’s just starting out, but it’s still personally where I fall on it. I’m not claiming any of this is objective or not open to debate, these issues are complicated and these kind of arguments have been being had for as long as there have been groups pushing for acceptance. I just wanted to present the other side and provide another perspective.

Oh and to anyone who is higher on the autism spectrum, or a part of any other non romanticized community, how you are is completely valid, and problems you may deal with (especially in a society that others you and doesn’t respect you) are as well, and it’s okay to be the way you are even if society doesn’t like or accept it. It’s okay for you to be who you are, and you will find people that will accept you. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re broken or diseased. I hope one day we’ll live in a world where I don’t have to say that.

as things start gearing up for Autism Acceptance Month I am going to make an effort to share stuff from nonverbal, high support needs, and other words for "severely" autistic people (especially from marginalized groups like autistic people of color) and I think others should too. I chose to do this because I am very deeply opposed to the way low support people have gone about destigmatizing autism.

me, I am the epitome of the white "geeky" autistic that I read about in books from specialists and historians: I had no speech delay, I'm capable of many self-maintenance tasks like hygiene and food, but I still am not independent and I struggle greatly with social situations, show repetitive behavior, and have sensory integration problems.

by making it seem like autism is just a label for quirky people that get really into tv shows, prefer small silverware, and fidget sometimes, you've come all the way back around to encouraging ignorance. you've started to push people with more disabling autistic traits into the background of your activism or even tried to pretend your activism doesn't apply to them.

obviously it's important to acknowledge and share the ways that autistic people who can speak and maintain independence still struggle immensely in a neurotypical world, because that is something the vast majority of people still don't understand. but we need to do better at emphasizing the ways people's autism affects their lives, and advocating for the rights of people with different needs than our own.

this might seem harsh to say but it really seems like some of you are ashamed to be associated with people from different parts of the autism spectrum than you. why claim the label then?

when you see someone talk about an experience you didn't have, always make an effort to learn something from it.

come together with people from all points on the autism spectrum. make friends with them and listen to their voice, whether it's spoken or not.

it is called neurodiversity for a reason. our brains are extremely diverse, and that's why it's important to make sure you are not your only source.

if you look at one person on the spectrum, even if that person is you, that is one autistic person, and you can't make claims about autism based on that person alone.

[lcriedlastnight]

Idiots in love with Oscar

"Can you stop smiling? I'm literally having a seizure suppressing the urge to kiss you."

omg anon, i literally love you so much.

tw: fem! reader, tried my hand at a little goofy story idk if it's good if it's not ignore it pls :), lmk if you want me to add anything.

w/c: 1k

oscar was a quiet a reserved guy, this almost everyone knew. he was private and did not like discussing anything outside of racing or letting it take up much space in his mind. but there was a few times where his guard was down completely and he was free to act how ever he felt like and that was when he was with you.

it could not have been any earlier than one am and both you and oscar had just come back from a lovely date night. you had both done your nightly routines, standing right next to each other just like you always did and had both clambered into bed. you could tell oscar was in a happier head space compared to earlier on in the week. loving touches and little jokes were scattered all the way home and even when you were both brushing your teeth before you had gotten into bed.

instead of getting into bed and turning the bedside lamps off, you sit against the head board as you watch oscar walk around to his side of the bed.

"what you looking at, missy?" oscar asks, cheeky smile on his face as he sits down beside you.

"you, sexy boy." you smirk back while oscar grimaces.

"ugh what's wrong with you! you know i hate that word." he groans, his head falling back but he had clearly misjudged how far the top of the headboard was and his head thumped against it. another groan comes from the man, while you fall into a fit of giggles. you are quite literally doubled in two in laughter as you lean into his side.

"are- are you okay?" you ask once the laughter has calmed down a little. oscar rolls his eyes at you, hand clutching the back of his head.

"no i'm not okay! i just banged my head! i could have a concussion and here you are pissing your pants!" oscar complains. it sets you off again. maybe you should have skipped that glass of wine with dinner. you know oscar does not really mean what he says, he has always been a crybaby.

"yeah, you just sit there and laugh. i'm sure that'll make me feel better." oscar moans.

"what do you want me to do, you want me to kiss it better?" you tease, crawling back up his side. your smile was blinding as you felt genuine happiness for the first time in a while. in your opinion, nothing beats times like these with your boyfriend, they were some of your fondest memories.

"fuck off." is all you get back. it makes you chuckle.

you sit there grinning at him like an idiot for a while, replaying the incident in your mind, trying to not laugh again. oscar just stares back with an almost constipated look, is what you would call it.

"can you stop smiling? i'm literally having a seizure trying to supress the urge to kiss you." oscar finally pipes up.

"oh, you definitely have a concussion." you tell him, acting serious. your hands come to clutch at the back of his head, feeling for the sore spot. you know once you find it because of the high pitched yelp oscar lets out.

"why would you do that!? it really hurts!" oscar scolds, you just smile at him. a sweet "sorry" escaping your lips. oscar lets out a "hmph." and pulls you in closer to have you straddling his thighs. your hands come to rest just underneath his ears.

"you gotta kiss me now to say sorry." oscar tells you, a smarmy smile on his face, meanwhile you look at him with one brow raise, comically, in suspicion.

"yeah? what do i have to be sorry for, osc?" you question him.

"this was all your fault!"

"it's my fault that you banged your head on the headboard?" oscar nods and pulls you in a little closer by your waist.

"yeah and now you gotta kiss me to say sorry, and to make it better. two kisses minimum." oscar explains while you just smile at him, trying desperately to not laugh right in his face.

"is that right?" you question his words. oscar only hums and pulls your lips towards his with one hand on the back of your neck.

oscar had ended up complaining about his sore head all the way until you two had decided to go to sleep at near enough three am. you had to let him rest his head on your chest because the poor boy just could not lay his head on his pillow the way he usually did at night because of his sore spot. you were more than certain that it would not even be sore in the morning because it did not sound like oscar had even hit his head that hard and you knew how much oscar liked to play up his injuries just to get a little extra love and affection from him, as of you would not just give him it if he just outright asked for it.

that weekend he went around telling the entire paddock that you had pushed him into the headboard and other variations of that story. all of them ended in you causing the injury. you had to go around defending yourself to all of your boyfriends friends and co workers.

it was one of the first times anyone else other than you had even had a glimpse into that side of osacar ans as much as you wanted to gatekeep it and have it all to yourself, you kind of liked the fact that everyone else, including the media, got to see oscar as something other than the deadpan, racing loving, sarcastic boy that they knew all too well. unfortunately for you, lando constantly brings up the incident and no matter how many times you try to tell him the truth and how stupid oscar was actually being, lando was quick to ignore it and jump to the side of his teammate and defend him to no end.

[f1goat]

regret + lando norris (one shot)

In which Lando breaks up with you, but starts to regret it even more when he sees you back on the racetrack. Can he still fix things?

lando norris x fem!y/n tw: small mentions of a panic attack & not proof read requested: yes

masterlist - playlist

“Y/N?”

This is exactly something you hoped that wouldn’t happen this weekend. Since your breakup with Lando, you haven’t seen him anymore. You also didn’t went to any races anymore. Until today. During your relationship with Lando you spent a lot of time on the different race tracks. You were with him almost every race. That resulted into getting to know a lot of the drivers personally, you quickly became great friends with Alex and his girlfriend Lily, but also with others like Daniel, Oscar, Max, Charles and Carlos. It took them a while before they could convince you, but they are exactly why you’re here right now.

And that makes them also the reason behind your unwanted meet up with Lando himself. 

“Hey,” you say with a soft tone. What if Lando will get mad that you’re here? Fuck. The first free practice didn’t even start yet and you already ran into Lando. Where are your friends when you need them? Now that you think about it, weren’t you walking here with Daniel? Where has he gone off to?

“What are you doing here?” Lando asks you confused. He doesn’t mind you being here, at least he thinks so now, but he wonders how you have gotten here. Normally he was the one who took you with him to a Grand Prix. He’s quick to wonder if someone else on the grid is dating you and took you here with him.

“Uh, a few friends invited me,” you explain, “I hope you don’t mind.”

“No!” Lando is quick to reply, “uh no of course not, you’re free to come here,” he adds awkwardly.

“Great,” you say even more awkward then Lando’s earlier words.

“Who uh invited you?” Lando continues to ask.

“Uh you know that one group text right? With the boys we always did the most things with?” You ask Lando. He nods. “It comes from them. So uh Alex, Max, Charles, Carlos, Daniel and Oscar,” you tell him.

“Oh uh nice,” Lando replies.

Before Lando or you can make another awkward statement, Daniel is already reappearing next to you. You’re thankful that he has showed up again. Hopefully he will save you from this awkward conversation. Of course you knew you would see Lando somewhere this weekend, but you didn’t expect it to happen on the first hour you were around. 

There isn’t any bad blood between Lando and you. At least you think so. Lando broke things off a couple weeks ago after the two of you almost dated for a year. He didn’t gave a great reason, he just told you he needed to regain his focus on racing and that he couldn’t manage that with you around. At first you didn’t understand, but later you heard from mutual friends that things were a bit different. It seems like Zak had a bit more influence in Lando his decision then you thought at first. But still, Lando chose this himself. 

You can safely say that you miss Lando and everything you two had together. Even now when you see him again, it pains you that you can’t hug or kiss him. While Daniel makes conversation with Lando, you focus yourself on him as well. You take a good look at him. Lando doesn’t look good. His face seems white and his eyes are puffy. He seems tired. You almost ask him how he’s feeling, but Daniel is quick to walk away with you from Lando.

“Let him feel bad,” Daniel tells you, “remember this is his own fault. He chose to broke up.”

You sigh. “I know Dan,” you reply, “but you can’t blame me for caring about him. He looks bad.”

“He should.”

Lando can’t shake off his negative thoughts when he sees Daniel walking away with you. He keeps wondering about what Daniel is doing here with you. Is it possible that you already forgot about him and moved on with someone else? Someone like Daniel maybe? Lando didn’t want to break things off with you, but he felt like he had no choice. 

Now he knew that he should have talked about it with you, but it’s already too late. His friends have told him about his mistake and how he should have handled things. But it’s still too late. He can’t change what he did anymore. He can only life with the consequences. 

It wasn’t his own idea to break up with you. Zak came to him after the race in Qatar. The weekend was already shitty, but after talking with Zak it became even worse. You weren’t there that weekend. You had a birthday that you couldn’t miss and Lando had lied to you that he would be fine without you for a weekend when you told him you could fly in later. His whole weekend was about you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and how much he missed you that weekend. He almost bought plane tickets so you could still come.

Then there was the qualifications in which he lost his fastest lap to track limits.

Then there was the sprint race, where his rookie teammate was better then him.

Then there was the actual race, where he wasn’t allowed to overtake his rookie teammate.

He doesn’t blame Oscar, but he does blame himself. The weekend was bad. You weren’t there to talk to about everything. Of course you texted and called him, but every time you asked how he was he lied and told you that he was fine. 

Then Zak came to him after the race. He didn’t say much, only that Lando should think about his priorities if he ever wanted to win a race. That was the last drop for him. Instead of getting mad at Zak for even suggesting something that ridiculous, he became mad at himself. Zak was right. He wasn’t focused lately. He only thought about you. This weekend was the perfect example. Without even giving it a second thought he called you on FaceTime. He broke up with you without giving you an explanation. 

He’s a dick.

And now you’re here with his friends. He told a few of them what really happened. They told him they would try to help him to fix things. But now he only thinks that they were lying. It seems like they have chosen your side. Something he can’t blame them for.

Fuuuuuck. He hates himself.

And he misses you.

In the mean time Daniel brought you back to Lily. It’s time for the boy to get into their cars and start the first practice. Together with Lily you spend some time at the Williams motorhome. You can’t help yourself and start to inform Lily about your encounter with Lando. 

“Is it bad that I still want him back?” You ask Lily softly. You almost feel ashamed for your question. What’s wrong with you to want someone back who broke up with you over FaceTime? 

“No,” Lily is quick to reply with a firm answer, “and to be honest with you, I get it.”

“You get it?”

“Girl, you were so happy with him,” Lily sighs, “of course I get it. I don’t know if it’s right, but I really get it. If you can keep a secret, I can tell you exactly why I get it.”

“Of course,” you quickly react. You’re already glad that Lily gets the way your feeling. Earlier today you tried to tell Daniel, but he didn’t get it. 

“Alex and I had a similar experience,” Lily confesses, “When he was still with RedBull a similar thing happened to us. Alex had a massive fall out that he wasn’t focused enough and that is was because of me, that he was going to lose his seat if he didn’t fix it. We took a break then.”

“How did you fix that?”

“His focus became worse,” Lily laughs, “after five weeks he came crawling back. It pained me, don’t get me wrong, but I have had similar conversations with some coaches. So I knew what he was hearing and how bad the timing was, so I forgave him. We’re stronger since that break then ever before.”

“Do you think there’s hope for Lando and me?” You ask Lily hopefully.

“If you can forgive him then there is,” Lily answers directly. 

“What if he doesn’t come back?”

“Believe me girl, he is already a mess,” Lily laughs, “Maybe he just needs a final push, but he won’t last long anymore. Look at his results from the last week, he’s even more unfocused since the break up.”

“Final push?” You ask a bit confused.

“Lando is a bit more unsure then Alex, you know? I think he needs a final push to make him snap and confess. Otherwise he won’t stop sulking. But don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of that push.”

“Thanks Lily.”

+++

You don’t know if Lily has already thought of something, but you notice that Lando is surprisingly close to you during the weekend. It seems like he’s always around. He isn’t speaking to you, but you feel his eyes on you everywhere you go. 

It’s already Saturday, the weekend is going by fast. It’s almost time for qualifications. You’re walking with Daniel. You have spend a lot of time with him the last days. He can easily distract you from your thoughts about Lando. He’s fun to be around, mainly because he’s always joking. But still, he’s not Lando. Fuck. 

It doesn’t surprise you when you notice Lando again. This time he’s walking towards Daniel and you. You wonder if he’s going to say something. It seems like he’s getting ready to say something to Daniel, you or the both of you.

“Can I talk to you Daniel?” Lando asks when he’s standing in front of you. Daniel nods and walks away from you with Lando. He quickly says that Lily is already waiting for you at the Williams garage to watch the session together. You wish him good luck and turn around as well. 

Lando doesn’t know where to start when Daniel is standing in front of him. He wants to say many things and ask even more things. 

“What is it Lando?” Daniel asks him a bit annoyed. It’s clear that he took your side, it’s written all over his face. Lando gets it. Of course he does.

“Are you seeing Y/N?” He asks at first.

“Seeing Y/N?” Daniel asks confused.

“Yeah, are you dating her on something?” Lando asks further.

Daniel laughs loudly. “You’re joking right?”

“No? You’re spending a lot of time with her,” Lando continues.

“And so what Lando? You broke up with her,” Daniel says mad, “On fucking FaceTime. You don’t have the right to ask every boy around her about his intentions with her. She isn’t yours anymore!”

“Fuck, sorry,” Lando mutters before he quickly walks away from Daniel.

He’s glad when he’s sitting in his car a couple minutes later. This should help him to focus on something else then you. Right? But even when he’s driving as fast as he can manage, he can’t stop thinking about you. He only thinks about you. He can’t focus on where to brake or when to increase or decrease his speed. 

It doesn’t even surprise him when his board radio tells him he wasn’t fast enough for the next session. He’s out. 

Fuck.

“I told you, he isn’t more focused,” Lily states while watching the session on the big screen. Together you watch and hear Lando his disappointed reaction to hearing he’s out. You feel bad for him. 

“Should I go to him?” You ask Lily.

“I don’t know,” Lily answers honestly, “I get it that you want to, but maybe he needs to get a bit more frustrated with his choice.”

“But he’s probably really mad at himself now,” you say, “and he must be so disappointed. What if Zak tells him more bad things?” 

“I understand you, I just don’t know if it’s smart. If I were you, I would wait until tomorrow. Let him be mad at himself for a bit, it won’t hurt him.”

+++

“You need to help me,” Lando states, “All of you.”

In front of him are Daniel, Max and Oscar. He found them and brought them all together. After his qualification session he realized that he really needs you back. He already knew that after the horrible words left his mouth during that awful FaceTime call, but now he needs to take action. This can’t last longer. He can’t last any longer without you.

“I want Y/N back,” Lando confesses, “It was a fucking mistake and I hate myself for it. How can I deserve another shot with her?”

Daniel laughs. Max and Oscar don’t know what to say.

“That’s rich,” Daniel laughs, “You think you still deserve her after this?”

“Daniel,” Max warns his friend, “Don’t be too hard on him.”

“What? It’s true, he did it himself,” Daniel continues, “If he thought about it, he would have known directly that it was stupid.”

Lando sighs. “I know,” he says, “and I really regret everything I did. But I need to know if I have a chance to win her back.”

“I don’t know if you deserve it,” Daniel replies, “but I’ll try to help. But only because she’s pretty miserable as well.”

Max and Oscar both nod as well showing their agreement with Daniel. Lando lets out a relieved sigh. He knows they mean it well and he’s even glad with the honesty of his friends. He deserves this. 

“To be fair mate, I think you just need to talk to her and explain everything,” Max suggests. 

“Yeah and apologize a lot of course,” Oscar adds.

“I’ll ask her if she wants to talk to you,” Daniel says eventually, “I’ll text you her answer, then you can do the rest.”

“Thanks guys,” Lando says, “Thank you so much.”

+++

Daniel: She is up for it. Ask her to talk with you after the race.

Daniel: And don’t let the outcome of the rest influence you!

Lando: thank you so much

Lando is nervous when he sits in his car. It’s not the race he’s nervous about, he knows it’s already a lost cause. He won’t score any points from his starting position, he’s starting eighteenth for fucks sake. And even if his strategy is good, he’s way too unfocused for the race. He won’t manage anything successful before talking to you. He can only think about all the things he needs to say to you.

How can he find the right words to excuse to you? He has to make so many apologies, he doesn’t even know where to start. He sees the start sign and tries to focus on the race again. He drives away from his spot as fast as he can manage. In the mean time he focusses on the cars around him. 

He overtakes the first car in front of him. Even if he says it himself, it was a nice move. He starts to feel a bit more confident. 

“Good move,” his board radio tells him, “Let’s try to get some points.”

Lando focusses on the next car in front of him. He tries to remember which Williams qualified as worst from the two. He guesses it’s Sergeant. As fast as his car can manage he drives towards the Williams car. He positions himself and makes himself ready to overtake him as well. At first he tries to overtake him on the outside. He misses a bit of speed. The next DRS zone he tries again, this time he’s on the inside.

Right when he’s sure that he’s past the Williams, he feels himself losing the control of his car. Before he knows it he’s spinning off the track. Fucking hell. 

Only minutes later he’s walking back towards his motorhome. That was a shitty race. He sighs. When he’s back at his motorhome he’s surprised to notice that you’re standing in front of it. He must be hallucinating, right? Maybe he hit his head harder then he thought. 

“Lan,” you quickly say when he’s standing in front of you, “Are you okay?” 

“What are you doing here?” Lando asks confused.

“I’m worried about you!” You exclaim, “It looked scary when you went off the track like that.”

“You’re worried about me?” Lando asks even more confused, “Why?”

“You can break up with me, but you can’t expect me to lose all my feelings for you,” you say bitterly.

“You still have feelings for me?” Lando asks you.

“It hasn’t been that long since the breakup,” you tell Lando, “Of course I still have feelings for you Lan. Or did you already lose all your feelings for me?” You feel yourself getting nervous after your last question. Fuck. What if he already feels nothing for you anymore?

“No of course not,” Lando quickly says, “I haven’t lost even a tiny bit of them.”

“You wanted to talk to me said Daniel,” you continue, “Maybe we can talk now?”

“Yes, yes,” Lando replies, “Let’s go to my drivers room.”

Together you walk into the motorhome. A couple mechanics say they’re sorry for Lando and his lost race when you’re walking past them. They greet you as well. One of them even says he’s glad to see you again. You smile at him. You’ve missed this place. Normally you would watch every race here.

“Wait Lando, it’s time for debrief,” you hear someone say, when you look around you notice Zak. You start to feel nervous. You always thought Zak was alright with you. It wasn’t like you were best friends, but you were friendly with each other. Now you think he really dislikes you. If you understand it right, he’s the one who told Lando to break up with you. 

“I don’t have time,” Lando simply states.

“It’s fine Lan, we can talk later,” you quickly interrupt, “You can do your debrief first. I’ll wait.”

“You heard the lady Lando, let’s go,” Zak says.

“No!” Lando almost screams the simple word, “Debrief without me. I don’t have time today. If you didn’t notice it already Zak, I have something more important to do.”

“Real race winner mentality you have here Lando,” Zak mutters annoyed. 

“Fuck off,” Lando sneers. He takes your hand into his own and drags you with him towards his drivers room. You’re thankful when you’re standing inside it. Lando drops your hand and starts to walk around in the tiny space. He seems nervous. 

“What did you want to talk about?” You ask Lando after a while of silence.

“Us,” Lando replies, “but I don’t know where to start.”

You notice the short breaths Lando takes. It reminds you of something. You remember what happened after the first race of this season. Lando had a massive panic attack. The bad team result made him stressed out for the rest of the season. The short breaths were one of the first signs back then. What if this means he will have another panic attack?

With small steps you walk closer to Lando. “Calm down,” you tell him, “let’s sit down together. We can figure it out where to start with this conversation. I’m stressed as well about it.”

Lando nods. He follows you towards the couch. Together you sit down. You move your hand onto his back, slowly you try to comfort him. Lando is still taking short breaths. 

“What.. what if,” Lando stutters, “What if uh, I uh.”

“Talk slowly baby,” you softly interrupt him. 

“What if I can’t fix this?” Lando speaks in one breath. “Fuck, what if I can’t show you that I’m really sorry?” He starts to speak even faster, “What if I lose you for good? Or what if you hate me?” 

“Relax baby,” you say, “I don’t hate you.”

“You should.”

“Lando, please relax before you will stress yourself into a panic attack,” you tell him.

“I can’t lose you,” Lando says. 

“You’re not going to lose me,” you harshly state, “If you were I wouldn’t be here right now. I want to fix things as well Lando.”

That makes him silent for a bit. You notice the tears rolling down onto his face. Softly you sigh. You pull Lando onto yourself. He quickly changes his position and lets his head lay down on your lap. You caress his hair. Lando lets out a soft sob. It pains you to see him like this. How can you fix this?

“I still love you,” you tell Lando.

Lando sobs even louder.

“And I heard from the guys what happened with Zak,” you continue to speak, “We can fix this Lando, it wasn’t only your fault. Lily told me that something similar happened to her and Alex as well and it only made their relationship stronger. We can learn from this as well.”

“You ssst. You still want me?” Lando asks you while sobbing.

“Yes,” you reply firmly, “I always want you Lando.”

You feel how Lando his tense body starts to relax a bit more. You continue to tell him about how everything will be alright between the two of you. That you will forgive him for this and that you still love him. You even tell him things about the future you’re imagining with him.

“You won’t get rid of me this easily,” you eventually say. 

“I love you,” Lando says a lot more relaxed then before. He sits up straight again and looks at you. “I love you too,” you tell him. Lando presses his lips against yours. You taste the saltiness of his tears on his lips, but you don’t focus on that thought. You can only think about how much you missed this.

Of course, there are still plenty things to talk about but Lando and you will manage. The two of you will fix this. Things will be alright again.