#tell me how u perceive me
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i do NOT care how other people perceive me. it doesnt matter to me, and im not a little obsessed with it. anyways *reblogs more things that ask people to describe their perception of me*
#my affirmations#im a liar#i do love to know#tell me how u perceive me#i literally love those little ask game things n stuff soooooo much theyre so fun#yet another amazing one note shitpost thank u rex#random#yap yap yap
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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovskĆ½ but thatās my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#thatās my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#āyeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah weāre gonna make them lose.ā & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post iām about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovskĆ½ hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more āvaluableā capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency theyāre doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy š¤·' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovskĆ½#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovskĆ½ posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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doing my blog browsing morning paper (at 9pm. morning š«¶š») so if iām in ur notifs annoyingly let me know and i will get out of there expeditiously
#can u tell i have complexes on complexes abt how iām perceived and how much i struggle accepting that people want me around#i mean. what???#who said that#must have been the wind.mp4#thoughts from the void
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wanting 2 finish my education but 2 do so u need 2 have a camera like
hey
thats y i failed in the 1st place
im gonna cry
#ANXIETY I H8 UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU#āu cannot talk u cannot write things down u have 2 b quiet u have 2 b in a private close off spaceā THIS SOUNDS LIEK TORTURE#i ahve 2 hype myself up 4 this wtf#WTFFFFFFF#spoken like a true scardy cat me WOO#my options r either b perceived or b perceived#WHICH i dont rlly HAVE a problem w/#its jsut THE FACT THAT IN MY HEAD I FEEL LIKE IM GETTING JUDGHED 4 MY SMARTS I H8 ITTTTTTT#next thing yk if im on camera theyre gonna give me a strike 4 sitting ānot normalā#this is actualyl awful#u can tell how awful it is in my head bc im rambling about it on tumblr tags 2 distract myself#i want 2 continue my education but @ what cost jesussssssssssssssssssssssssss
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I support the "Batman was unfairly biased to Stephanie for XYZ reasons" crowd so strongly bc DC claims that Bruce is a master planner who is able to understand anyone's psychology but he didn't realize that literally every single one of Steph's problems as a teenager would've been solved by her joining a shitty punk band. If he couldn't figure that much out then he didn't understand her for a minute
#ramblings of a lunatic#PLEASE TALK TO ME I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON STEPHANIE IN A SHITTY PUNK BAND#her bandmates have turned into ocs it's stage 5 at this point boys#anyway what is steph dealing w/ pre-52 as spoiler that got her in hot water?#1. the anger issues. easily fixed by her getting to scream about beating her dad to death without actually doing it#2. nobody fucking listens to her (including batman). well when u are playing music ppl are definitely fucking listening#3. has no non-batfam friends and thus ends up feeling abandoned almost every time she gets kicked out of the group. bandmates are friends!#don't like being in your shitty house? go to your band mates house and jam!#need to articulate the anger issues in a way that doesn't disturb your frazzled paranoid boyfriend? write angsty songs!#also I do genuinely have a lot of thoughts on how music was applied to Stephanie's character and what it tells us about her#like she loved it. clearly. and she was GOOD at it too. steph is constantly perceived as a screw up and has pretty low opinion of herself#piano was something she could take pride in. in i believe issue 113 of tims og robin series-#-tim is AMAZED at her playing all these years later. so is nocturna a few issues earlier#there's a standard visual language in comics for good or bad music- notation drawn in either shaky or smooth lines#stephs are all smooth and golden. she's good even after all these years of not practicing#but all she says to tim after he compliments her is ''i used to be better...'' SHE SEES THE WORST IN HERSELF AND HER ABILITIES#SHE DESERVES A CHANCE TO FEEL GOOD AT AT LEAST ONE THING LIKE SHE FINALLY GOT TO AS BATGIRL IN HER SOLO#and onto my final point: dinah has several times expressed some degree of fondness/admiration for steph. steph has likewise trained w dinah#and thinks she's cool as fuck. which makes sense. bc dinah is cool as fuck#and what is dinah in??? that's right. a band#steph should join dinahs band for her mental health. this has been an essay#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#dc batgirl#batgirls#<- since that series re-canonized pianist steph!! bless them!
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a taste of poison paradise by khaotunq (stilinski)
i'm not tagging anything or anyone but i am apologising for it preemptively
#i'll tell u all it's boston/ray and that's it#read the tags and do not perceive me#time to rb a bunch of stuff#bc i was being brave by posting it and now i'm being a coward by burying it#i just noticed i didn't userlock this#i'll leave it open for now#because why not i'm already squirming about having posted it#but i will be locking it#if anyone wants an ao3 invite message me and i'll figure out how to do that i'm p sure i have a bunch of invites
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I am so rusty at writing that I hesitate to ever talk about writing things, because I almost never finish them, and even if I did, I'm not sure I would share anything publicly right now lol sob, but I'd still like to try to write something for the KPTS Prompt Fest. So I wish to once again use polls to make my decisions for me! (Thank u all for ur help in the tv poll btw; having a great time w/ Theory of Love & Little Women!) Tl;dr: Help break me out of my decision paralysis and choose one thing for me to focus on writing! (Detailed prompts after the poll)
Excerpts of full prompts beneath the cut.
1. Vegas/Porsche arranged marriage:
Bonus points for Vegas resenting Porsche for being the son his father has always wanted (or in the version where Gun's already dead, for stealing his birthright), and plotting little schemes before their marriage to ruin him and the like, and Porsche disarming him the more they get to know each other. Extra bonus points if Vegas betrays him anyway, just like in canon, but the fondness is still real (for both of them), and makes it hurt more on both sides.
2. Vegas wakes up main family heir: Vegas goes to sleep wishing, not for the first time, that he'd been born to the main family. He wakes up in an alternate universe where his grandfather made Gun the main family heir, not Korn. Gun is not a better father in this timeline. 3. Vegaskinn arranged marriage: Korn strong arms the minor family into a marriage agreement to, he claims, ease the tensions between them, but actually because he would like to collect Vegas and Macau under his roof, like chess pieces or pokemon.
It would be fun if this were set after Vegas's big betrayal, as his punishment, instead of being blacklisted and going to the safehouse, but it can also be something AU/pre-canon. The hilarious idea popped into my head of Korn having already arranged Tankhun/Porsche and Kim/Chay marriages long before he decided Kinn/blood-related nephew should happen. Alternatively, maybe Kim/Chay and Kinn/Porsche as preexisting relationships make Korn confident in his hold on the Kittisawats, and he assumes Kinn/Vegas will be a loveless Emperor/Empress marriage up against Porsche as Kinn's most beloved noble consort. 4. Porsche and Big bodyswap: Cue Big experiencing the exquisite pain of Kinn looking at him with adoration and want, but it's not actually HIM he's looking at, and fighting himself on what to do when Kinn wants to touch him. Cue Porsche having to get along with Ken and pretend he loves doing nothing but shittalking himself all day. Cue Porsche picking up on the fact that Chan is completely gone for him (for Big) after years of Big missing all the signals? Comedy, angst, any ships you want!
5. Tankhun and Kim start hearing each other's thoughts, and can't turn it off. It's actually worse when they're not in the same physical vicinity, they start hearing more of what the other is thinking and worse, so they have to start spending a lot of time together to keep the thoughts calmer and less invasive. This means Kim joining Khun for horror movie night, and yes, he does have to dress up, and Khun joining Kimā¦on tour? Can he do it? And what do they learn about each other when they are physically separated? What lurks in the deeps of their psychologies?
RAPE/NON-CON WARNING FOR THE REST OF THESE
6. Vegaspete, puppyplay. Vegas makes Pete wear puppy ears and a puppy tail butt plug and bark. Totally up to you if it's noncon at the safehouse or consensual after that.
7. Vegas sex pollens Kinn: Kinn is at a very important professional function surrounded by very important professional contacts when Vegas, who is also at said function, slips a drug with aphrodisiac properties into his food/drink/expensive cologne/whatever. Kinn valiantly tries to maintain his self-control, but he's only human, and before the end of the night someone ā or even a team of someones ā ends up having to somehow fuck Kinn until he cries while not giving any rival crime families any inkling. (@vegaseatsass note: I would 100% write this as Vegas planning to leave Kinn alone to deal with his situation, hoping he will fail but counting on Kinn superhumanly outlasting the drug, and then getting possessive about it and rushing in to take control the second it looks like Kinn's going to capitulate to unworthy outsiders. Apologies in advance to the anon that I am a Vegaskinn sicko and not a Kinn whump sicko; I hope they get this filled by a gangbang connoisseur!)
8. Vegaspete handcuffed together: Vegas and Pete are kidnapped at the auction. They wake up naked and handcuffed together. Vegas makes the most of it.
#so like realistically i will be posting any of these anonymously because that's the beauty of kinkmemes and also what i need to tell myself#to get over my brain's constant self-monitoring!#but you have no vested interest in whether it is ME writing these things or just SOMEONE! vote based on SOMEONE writing these things#kpts#polls#i MAYYYYYY delete this but any feedback u give me will help i promiseeee#this is just the number one top thing i have not learned how to handle being Perceived in#(well it's two things. writing and horny)
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i truly think youāve reached peak chronic internet user if u start saying shit like āif u call an idol by their real name u have fallen victim to the parasocial relationshipā
#bitch thatās their name#what do you do during fanchants.#saw something that annoyed me. being partially brave abt it#like it all goes back to yāall being insanely worried abt how ur perceived when it comes to kpop specifically#just exist. u donāt have to tell me how normal YOU are every two seconds
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there is smth to be said abt how chihiro is always always always depicted in feminine clothing in merch + supplementary material despite her horribly written backstory like.
at some point, if she really wanted to 'stop pretending', she could easily make the choice to wear smth more unisex and 'subtle' but she always goes for the cutest, most feminine looking outfits and its like girl........ girl.....!
#and do NOT tell me its for non-spoilery reasons that shes still included with the girls and always wears cute feminine outfits in merch#pretty much everybody whos brushed against danganronpa knows whats going on with junko#if chihiro really truly was just A Cis Boy Crossdressing To Avoid Bullying (which inherently doesnt make much sense to me)#then like. you think said Cis Boy would... idk... at least try toeing the line between feminine and masculine expression more...#nobody is forcing 'him' to wear cutesy outfits and frilly dresses and brightly colored tops and short shorts in the summer...! just sayin#her internalized transphobia was absolutely self-devouring. honest to god#it ate her from the inside#junko probably took a lot of her self realization and mental peace away abt her gender expression w that memory wipe#its so fucked up. jesus christ#and then u play the game and sakura is forced to touch her corpse to discover the 'truth' and everyone just instantly switches#to masc pronouns with no struggle#its so badly written lmao#lets not even talk abt the whole physical strength = masculinity thing going on with her#also ive entirely given up on caring abt how other ppl perceive her gender#its a battle nobody will ever win#canon says shes a cis boy#her continous choice to express femininely#even in scenarios where she'd likely have 'come out' to her friends#saying otherwise#its just like#as long as you arent telling me to kms over a trans hc#then i dont have the energy to care#bc ppl who see her as a cis boy will not listen or change their minds#and i will not change my mind abt seeing her as a girl#i will say tho ppl who make older chihiro designs#and give her an out of nowhere square jaw and broad shoulders#and is like 6 feet tall#you are weird. i know what ur doing
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how are you the cutest lil thing to ever be cute and precious?
you know that parasite cats give u that makes you like cats a little more? imagine that but itās me and also very metaphorical because the whole thing with parasites and how you contract that specific one kinda skeeves me out
#if i charm u a little then i got u baby#or not actually idk how iām perceived we all know this#if you found the cat parasite answer cute and precious then my answer actually stands because thatās dire darling like down so bad#but idk you tell me how am i cute and precious? i wanna know more (:#oh the flirty little anons of tumblr my beloved#ask#anon
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if u are perceiving this blog, i implore u to stop. close the tab. close ur eyes. it is gone.
#this is not a place of honor etc etc#occasionally someone will follow me and im sitting here like. idk how to tell u this#this is just a place for me to put posts that dont go on my main#i am not here#do not perceive me
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#snapped at my mom because im stressed about my preboard results and then i apologized and explained that i was rly stressed and accidentally#lashed out and she started saying that im always rude to her and taking my stress out on her ??? and that i never do this to my dad#and then she said i never talk to her about anything even though she's the only one who does everything for me yet i still dont talk to her#and well. maybe if she didnt tell my brother 'if u do this u will end up like ur sister in the future. u dont want to fail in life right ?#then dont do this' (nearly exact words) when she was scolding him . i mean maybe then i would actually want to talk to her#and it sucks because i cant rly talk to anyone irl about this because i still feel scared that they'll like. judge my mom#because i still love her a lot and dont want people to think badly about her#but its getting harder ! to exist here ! and the fact that i am constantly used as an example of what my brother should NOT be#especially when i work this hard partly because i want to be someone my brother can look up to#and to have that come from my own mother . it's really hurtful and makes me feel like nothing i ever do will be enough for her#not to mention the fact that i have come out to her 4 times and she still constantly asks me if it's just a phase#<- i thought that part was getting better but apparently not#but i've stopped expecting anything from anyone in that respect so it doesn't really come as a surprise lmao#anyway rant over i just needed to get that off my chest because i really dont know how long i can keep crying and then forcing my voice#to be normal so that no one asks what happened because wow it is taking a toll on me! who knew#do noooot perceive this
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I feel like you kinda came out of nowhere for the lb and became an icon ā¤ļøā¤ļø I know me and a bunch of others think youāre the funniest ever lols
oh no Iām in love with you
in seriousness I love all of the lb so much and this is the highest compliment Iāve ever received šš
#guys if you have things to say to me PLEASE SEND ME ASKS#I LOVE ASKS#PLEASE PERCEIVE ME AND TELL ME HOW U PERCEIVE ME#ILY#bruins lb#anon ask
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Remember when my abuser and their cult of followers proved with their whole ass they keep tabs on me cuz the moment I change the URL for my roleplay blog, they went in to take the old one and put 'get yoinked' in the bio like some haha gotcha
Never forget
#'get yoinked' very much reminiscent of 2 ppl i can put on blast in particular#but im gonna be good#LMAOOAOAOA#tell me you guys stalk me without telling me you guys stalk me#im not surprised. they kept saying they never stalk ppl and yet were constantly in my dms telling me what their ex before me#was posting on their twitter. like okay and you know what theyre posting HOW?#'im not looking at them my friends are' LMAO and u let them? lets not act like they do it despite#u not wanting them to. you want to know what ppl are saying and keep reacting. thats a YOU problem#never gonna learn. LMAO.#'they dont move on i wish ppl would stop posting about me and perceiving me' oooohh too bad buddy#ppl tend to talk and not move on when you break them then never apologize and in fact turned around to blame them for everything#thats what happens! surprise!
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Can't decide if I want to write abt green or gold rn smh . I haven't written a green fic in a while but on the other hand the johtrio fixation,,,
#also the idea i have for a gold fic might be slightly redundant with baby hotline#bc its just exploring how i perceive Gold's Issuesā¢ļø which is more or less what baby hotline started as#but it got kinda distracted by the Horrors#i guess me doing this without the Horrors wouldnt be awful bc i know not everyone enjoys the Horrors#and also a more comfort route where baby hotline was whump adds some flavor to it#the green fic is also mental health exploration specifically in regards to unhealthy upbringings#sort of the exact in-between timeline wise between it splits your head in two and you work too hard#him talking w Blue. them working out their Complexes . etc#anyway rotating these concepts in my brain#feel free to tell me which sounds more interesting to you if u read this far LMAO sorry 4 rambling#š
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guys should I be put down šš
#Iām stupidddddd Iām so. behind. socially mentallyā¦#Even academically god. Everything is bad. Iām so tired and scared all the time. Nothing really has changed since highschool.#thĆ© parent stress has become friendship stress and I havenāt had 18 years to learn how to manage that ā¦#what I need to do is get out of bed. That will be step one in my. day.#ugh. I donāt wanna deal oTL#also every once in awhile I remember bpd šš I think I need to go to therapy I need someone to tell me whatās wrong w me.#I think I kind of ruled it out bc of sensory stuff + like. the ways I am šš differential diagnosis not as thorough as could be possible..#I don wanna go to doctorā¦ā¦. And did u know u can have 2 things at once.#anyway the last few days definitely feel like splitting šššš and was in fact triggered by perceived abandonment. So.#I might also just not be able to cope w shit from lack of experience though šš
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