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hoe4sports · 5 months ago

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How this ends p4

Alexia Putellas x Fridolina Rolfo x reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

A note from the author: Yehaw, this took an unexpected turn. In the phone calls, Alexia’s dialogue is blue. It’s a bit long, but very divided into different scenarios on the trip to Sweden. It’s a different one, but it’s still about alexia. Use your imagination on the social media post.

The next part will be the last part.

This is based on Lewis Capaldi’s “how this ends”.

Warning: None, a curveball perhaps. A healthy dose of angst.

Summary: You try to go on vacation with Frido, but Alexia won’t leave you alone.

"Okay, fine, but what about this!"

You strike a pose showing off your outfit which made Frido laugh. Her eyes were as bright as a christmas tree, and you couldn’t help but think about how Alexia never bothered to watch you show off your lastest purchases. The attention was something you had craved for years. But as the good woman you were, you waited for your turn to have time with Alexia. Fridolina on the other hand, she loved spendning time with you. Ever since you met Fridolina went she came to Barcelona years ago, she had been your bestfriend. Your go-to. The one you confided in. The pair of you had over the course of your and Alexia's breakup developed your own everyday routine.

She would wake up at 5.30 to get ready for work, before making a breakfast for you both to enjoy together prior to you driving her to the stadium. During the drive, you would talk about a good thing that happened yesterday before singing along to Taylor Swift. The duo did the same thing after work: you would pick her up from work, she would hop into the shower and you would make dinner for the pair of you.

You couldnt help, but admit that it felt good to have someone appericiate you the way Frido did. It had been ages since Alexia had made you feel anything but bad about using her previous time or wasting her seconds. Frido was kind, attentive and what could be best described as warm. She made time for you, and if she had plans; she would always ask if you wanted to join.

“Sorry, did I forget to tell you that we are going to Sweden, not Antarctica?” Frido teased you which caused to you cross your arms over your chest. Your sent Frido a sassy look.

“Atleast I would look cute meeting all the polar bears!” You fired at her while pouting. The comment made her giggle which brought a redness to her cheeks and a sparkle to her eyes. The kind of glow that you only see in movies. It made her tan skin compliment her eyes, and she was definitely a sight for sore eyes. For your sore eyes.

Time had been moving fast, and you were to go travelling with Frido to spend time with her family in Sweden in only one day. The thought of spending time with her parents and siblings made you a bit nervous, but you tried to not stress over it since this was supposed to be a fun get away. Frido had even introduced you to her parents over FaceTime to make you feel better.

“Here, try this on instead. It’s something I bought earlier, but it’s too tight-it hurts my biceps”

“Are you implying that I don’t have big muscles, big strong athletic football beats?”

“Uh,wait, no, I-“

“Relax babe, I’m kidding! I’ll try it”

You take the sundress and flip it off your body, before grabbing Frido’s hot pink linnen dress and slipping it over your head. You reached down to pull the dress below your bum. Your eyes moved to see the reflection of the dress in the mirror behind Frido. Her eyes were glued to your reflection, and you tried your best to pretend that you were looking at yourself. But your eyes stole a gaze whenever you could. It felt good to have someone look at you like Frido did. Your hands played around with the fabric of the dress before you settled on a fit. It perfectly complimented your breast, butt and waistline. You felt like a million dollars.

“Fridolina, I love it”

The material of the dress was light and the lace on the edges of the dress felt like a nice touch to the look. The cut complimented your shape perfectly. It made you feel as close to being Scandinavian as you possibly could. Your gaze turned around to meet Frido’s, she was smiling at you with a heartwarming smile.

“See, I knew you would look stunning in it! You look so good in everything, Skatt ”

The compliment from Frido made you blush to an extent that you didn’t even want to admit. And the nickname? Oh gosh, don’t even start about the nickname. She stood up next to you before reaching for your hand, and sending you around in a twirl. The moment felt illegal, but magical.

“Thanks babe, I honestly love it. It makes me feel like I was born to be Scandinavian” you giggled.

Frido looked see into your eyes as she winked before tucking your hair behind your right ear.

“Becoming Scandinavian, huh? That can be arranged”

Your jaw dropped dramatically before looking at Frido who just smirked back at you. You couldn’t help, but start to question your and Frido’s friendship. You rolled your eyes at her before playfully slapping her shoulder. Then you flipped the dress of your head, and placed it in the “yes” pile.

The evening went by quickly with Frido teaching you all about her family while laying together in Frido’s bed eating your favourite crisps. She told you about her weird cousin, Emil, who would essentially play tricks on everyone that came along. Her niece, Dina, who was just the most adorable little toddler. And her grandmother, who gave the best hugs, but made the worst coffee. Watching her talk about home, was a real eye opener to you. You could tell that she really loved home; both the place and the people.

“Passport?”

“Yes”

“Wallet?”

“Yup”

“Phone?”

“Uh-huh”

“My cool and obviously super special Sweden jersey for my favourite person to wear?

“Don’t get too high on yourself, Rolfo”

A part of you felt confused. Your heart hurt terribly at times, even so bad that sometimes; you thought you were about to have a heart attack. Your heart crumbling up into pieces of glass laying in a pile at the ground. It was all that was left of you and Alexia.

The jersey Frido had given you to wear for her match was her special jersey. It was one of her Jesery’s from the World Cup with the opponents flag sown into it. The opponent was Australia, and it was the match that gave her her first worlds bronze medal.

Normally, you would’ve worn Alexia’s Spain jersey during international break. She never gave you her special jersey anymore. At one game, you even used Mali’s jersey to prove a point. When Mapi confronted Alexia about it, she had just shrugged. She didn’t know that she was about to experience the biggest loss of her life.

You held the jersey up from your backpack and waved it at Frido. Somehow, she had convinced you to place it in your carry on just incase they would lose your suitcase. Then you still had something to wear for her big match, and you happily obliged.

“Good, special jersey for my special girl.”

The excitement and the buzz of the airport were bringing forwards feelings you had deprived yourself of feeling. The truth was that you loved to travel. You would be searching up an adventure whenever you had an availability in your packed calendar. Something deep in your soul craved to experience the world and its wonders. Cultures had always been fascinating to you, and you loved to share the wonders you stumbled upon with your followers.

One that was not as impressed with your wish to travel lately, was Alexia. She had seen the countless photos of you and Frido hanging out. Pictures of the pair of you doing anything from making pasta to going to the beach. And for Alexia? It felt like the world was ending. She had tried to reach out. But you refused. She tried talking to Frido, who also refused. It sparked an anger, almost a jealousy in her. How could her teammate just swoop her ex-girlfriend off her feet?

As you grabbed your phone from the tray at the security check, you noticed a missed call. Your attention was quickly changed when Frido was ready to head for the kiosk to get herself a book and a bottle of Pepsi. You agreed to sit outside to watch over her stuff, but secretly; you were planning on returning the call. Your hands trembled as you picked up your phone, and pressed call on the contact that had already tried to reaching you. Your throat felt dry, and your skin felt itchy. You could feel yourself getting hotter by the second, which ended up with you sitting in your lululemon tank while feeling anxious. “God”, you thought to yourself. “Why am I so nervous? It’s just the same good ol-“

“H-Hola, uh, hi, please don’t hang up on me”

“Alexia, what do you want?”

“Uh, lo siento, how..How are you?”

“How am I? Really? How am I??”

“No, no.. Vale, I’m sorry, lo siento. Can we talk?”

“…About what?”

“Us”

“There is no us anymore, Alexia. I’m sorry.”

“But, I just, please.Hear me out?”

"Ai, give me damn a good reason»

«Because you were my first love, my only love”

You sighted loudly. She pulled the first love bullshit.

“…Vale, im busy right now. Estoy con Frido en el aeropuerto, et-“

“Que? Con Frido? Fridolina?”

You rolled your eyes. You were allowed to do anything you wanted.

“Si! We are going to Sweden to see her family”

“Que? Para ver a la familia de FRIDOLINA??”

“…Si?”

“No, no mi amor! No, lo sien-“

“I’m not your amor anymore, buttercup.”

“Por favor, escúch-“

You looked up, and your eyes immediately caught Frido moving towards you with her bright smile. Frido who took care of you. Who brought you with her to Sweden in a heartbeat. Who loved you for you. It felt like your throat was drying up. Like it was thick with air.

“-I’m sorry, Alexia. I have to go. I’ll call you after the trip. Don’t expect too much . Goodbye.”

Your hand instinctively turned off your phone not wanting to hear more from your ex-girlfriend. Your ex who didn’t want to travel with you. Who didn’t get around to purpose to you in the span of 13 years. Who promised you another cat when you had to wait for kids. Who never kept her promise.

Frido came walking towards you with a bag in her hands. Her face was lit up and she was looking like her usual happy self. She could be best described as a golden retriever whenever she was off the field. You loved her for that. When she was on field, she was hard, bad, tough and intense. But at home, she was soft and kind and gentle and just.. perfect?

“Girly, wanna see what I got?”

You nodded before sliding over to make space for your bestfriend.

“I got you a Pepsi, a magazine about exotic places to travel, a book about loving yourself, a box of Pringles and a bag of gummy bears. I hope you like them, if not then I’ll always switch with you”

Your eyes teared up from the thoughtfullness. It felt good to be cared for, Frido’s natural warmth was healing for your heart. It felt like she was slowly collecting all the pieces of your heart to glue them back together.

"Thank you, Fridolina. Really, for everything"

You tried to choke a sob, but it ended up sounding more like an owl. It sent you both into a giggle before Frido wrapped her toned arms around you. She was slightly taller than you which made you feel safe in her towering presens. She pressed a kiss to the top of your locks.

"Anything for you, sötnos"

After travelling for hours between Spain and Sweden, you had finally reached Frido’s hometown where you had plans for the next few days. Frido’s parents had come to the airport to pick you both up, and you could feel some nerves creeping up on you after moving towards the luggage claim.

Frido spotted her parents immediately who was both standing there with flowers and a Swedish flag.

“Hej, Fridaen min!” Her mom cheered while her dad waved the flag towards you. It made you smile sincerely. Her mom wrapped her arms around her daughter. The similarities were striking. You could definitely tell where Frido had her looks from. Her mom then looked at you before pulling you into a bear hug.

“And there is the girl that Frido has been talking about! Välkommen, Y/N.”

Safe and sound in her childhood bedroom, you walked around and admired all the posters that teenage Frido had put up. A few of them were of big footballers while others were popstars. One picture, showed Frido as a young girl with another young girl. A blonde. Both wearing a Swedish jersey that was just a little bit too big with shiny gold medals around their necks . The girl, you recognised as Magda Eriksson.

“Wow, Magda Eriksson right?”

“Starstrucked?”

“Well, yes! She’s a-mazing!”

“Then you are gonna die when I tell you that I have personally volunteered you as her babysitter for the games”

“Babysitting? Do you want me to walk around and make sure she doesn’t trip over herself?”

“Girl, are you jet lagged out of your mind? Her kid!”

You maked an o shape with you mouth slightly embarrassed that you didn’t know that she has a kid, but also somewhat excited that you would get to babysit. You loved all types of kids, and it had been your dream to become a mom since you were just a little girl.

Later that week, you found yourself sat in the family and friend's section with Frido's mom and dad, You also had baby Eriksson sitting on your lap chewing away on her fingers because Pernille was also on national duty. Their little girl was only shy of a year old, but already rocking the sweden shirt. She was the sweetest little girl, and she adored you right back.

"Look, Look, Elsa, Its your mamma!" you cheered at the toddler as you pointed towards Magda. Magda waved at Elsa which made Elsa kick her feet in excitement. "Did you see her? I bet you did, you are such a lucky little girl!" You cooed at the happy toddler. You couldn’t help but feel odd. You had imagined having your own baby by now, maybe even two. One baby and one toddler to keep you on your feet. To point out their mami on the field to. But instead, you were stuck with being a babysitter.

After the game was over, Sweden had won 3-2 to Ireland. Magda and Frido came over to you, and you immidiatly moved down towards the fence. Magda reached her hands towards you, and you expected her to grab the baby: but instead, she forced you and the baby over.

"Look at you, Y/N! You look like you have never done anything but been a mother, absolute natural!"

Frido cheered at you which made you blush. Little Elsa was a joy to be around. This was one of the things you had imagined would be your life by now. Bringing you and Alexia’s daughter to matches in her little Barcelona jersey with “Mami” on the back. Taking her down to the field to kick the ball around and say hello to the girls. Alexia giving you and her little girl a cuddle while the media took cute pictures for you to repost and get frames. You and Alexia with a little family was all you had ever dreamed of.

“Do you mind watching her? I’m just gonna go take pictures and sign a few jerseys”

You nodded immediately. The toddler had just started walking, and she was becoming increasingly wormy. You giggled at the toddler before walking over to get a ball. You sat the toddler down and passed the ball towards her. She kicked it back a few times before falling on her butt. You ushered towards her as you made a surprised face.

“Uh-oh! Did you jump on your butt? What a cool trick!”

It made Elsa giggle, and you scooped her up in your arms before spinning with her a couple of times. The girl was giggling like only a toddler can, her smile wide with happiness.

“More, More!” She yelled when you stopped.

You immediately shifted your grip on her and threw her up in the air before catching her. It reminded you of when you father would do the same with you; you loved it and so did Elsa.

“Y/N, thank you for watching her! Alright, Elsa. Say «byebye” to y/n” Magda gratefully said before taking Elsa into her arms.

“Really, Y/N, thank you so much. She loves you already, please come to our others games too. Elsa would love it, and I’m sure someone else does too”

She looked towards Frido who was talking to a fan. You blushed before saying your goodbyes with Elsa and Magda.

Later that night, you got a notification on your phone. It was from instagram. Frido had tagged you in a post, and you immediately clicked the notification.

Fridolinarolfo

Liked by MagdalenaEriksson16, pharder10 and 84 962 others.

Fridolinarolfo Sötnos

MadalenaErikkson16: Newest Swedish wag?

User277 Wait, is this a hard launch??

User252 Isnt this @AlexiaPutellas girlfriend??

User2737 I would’ve never guessed?? Im here for it!!

You closed your eyes. Partly in confusion and partly in happiness. You loved the picture. A picture she snapped on field when you were playing with Elsa. That’s was when your phone buzzed again. But this time, it was Alexia. It’s was a message from the woman you once called “mi vida” and “mi sol”. You open the message up even though you probably shouldn’t. With trembling hands, you open the message.

Mi vida

Por favor, te amo. Por favor no digas que frido y tú están saliendo. Lo siento muchísimo. Quiero hacer las cosas bien, darte lo que te mereces. Lo que debería haber hecho todo el tiempo. Sólo dame una oportunidad más.

It made your head spin. You felt physically ill. In a few days, you would be heading with Frido to Ireland, to watch her play. All before going back home to Barcelona. Back to your ex-girlfriend’s country. Where you have to deal with this whole situation. Clean up Alexia’s messes. You think that probably shouldn’t have gone to Sweden, but then again: Alexia missed her turn. And you and Fridolina are just bestfriends, right?

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso community #barca femini x reader #fridolina rolfo x reader #fridolina rolfö #alexia putellas x reader #alexia x reader #alexia putellas #swnt #magdalena eriksson

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bensolosbluesaber · 2 years ago

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Nowhere to Run: Part 2 (Miguel O’Hara (Spider-Man 2099) x Spider-Woman!f!reader)

Read Part 1 Here

Pairings: Miguel O’Hara (Spider-Man 2099) x Spider-Woman!f!reader

Warnings: Miguel helps reader through a panic attack (descriptions based on my own experiences but not necessarily perfectly written down), mentions of isolation and isolation-related trauma, references to child loss, scars

Summary: Living in Nueva York and working with the Spider Society is pretty great... except for Miguel O’Hara, the man who injured you, saved your life, and now refuses to speak to you. Luckily, Peter B. Parker loves interfering in Miguel’s life, so when you’re at your lowest, it’s Miguel who is there to help you through it. ~ 2,200 words

Angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending

A/N: This is still dedicated to the Miguel O’Hara editors on TikTok as well as the people leaving the comments. There are light spoilers for AtSV (I made up an ending for BtSV since this is set after that).

Two Months Later…

Miguel O’Hara kept his promise. His Spider Society ran all kinds of tests, searching for an explanation for the rapid evolution that provided your the ability to travel the multiverse. Best they could guess, you had been close to the epicenter of your world’s implosion, close enough to absorb some of the energy leaking from what was essentially a black hole devouring the universe.

Another Spider-Woman had given you a more advanced goober - no, gizmo - to keep you from glitching and destabilizing the place they called Nueva York. It was Miguel’s home, she’d explained, and the home base of the Spider Society that kept watch over the multiverse. You’d started volunteering for missions with them, happy to be doing some good. It made you feel like a hero again, like there was a point to all the sacrifices that led you here.

But you hadn't seen Spider-Man 2099 since he dropped you off at a Nueva York hospital and huffed an order to “make sure she gets stitched up, and for god’s sake, get her some food.” That was two months ago.

“I can’t believe you bring a kid here.” You waved to Mayday who was sitting on her dad’s lap and trying to steal his food with her webs. For some reason, Peter had given her a web-shooter… as if toddlers weren’t difficult enough.

“Neither can I, honestly. But she loves these guys. Especially Miguel.” He frowned and took a bite of empanada. “She’s borderline obsessed with Miguel actually. I think it’s because he has such climbable shoulders. It’s good for him to see her too.”

“Meaning?”

“Ah nothing.” Peter waved off your question.

An awkward pause filled the space between you and Peter B. Parker. Just ask him, you told yourself.

“Is Miguel avoiding me?” Blunt. Right to the point.

“Ummmmm…” He drug out the word for far too long, looked to his daughter for help, seemed to remember she couldn’t do more than babble random sounds, and then sighed heavily. “Yes. He feels bad about…” Peter gestured broadly to you. “About a year ago we had a little situation with this kid - I mentored him. Good kid. Smart,” Peter added proudly. “This kid, Miles, made Miguel rethink a lot of things. We started handling anomalies... differently, a bit more gently.”

“He calls this gently?” You touched your scarred shoulder.

“Ummmmm… no.” Peter scooped Mayday out of the air where she was now dangling from the ceiling. “You freaked him out pretty bad. I mean you are a huge anomaly. Dangerous. He sort of, uh, how would those kids say it? Oh, yeah, he ‘went off the deep end.’ You should hear him tell the story.”

Mayday babbled incoherently.

“Yes ma’am, it does all seem a bit romantic when he tells it doesn’t it?” Peter cooed to Mayday then grinned at you.

You blinked once. Twice. Romantic?

Mayday went zipping away. Peter stood and sighed.

“Gotta get this kid, but I’m sending him to see you.” He took off after his daughter who was expertly navigating a minefield of other Spider-People (and animals). “Promise!” Peter tossed over his shoulder.

You seriously doubted Peter B. Parker would be able to convince Miguel to talk to you. And that was just as well because by the time you made it back to your room, it was turning into one of your bad nights. It was illogical. How could you could be fine for and suddenly a panic-stricken nightmare-ridden mess one random night? But then, the human mind is an enigma even to itself, the traumatized mind even more so.

It happened when you walked into your room and found yourself suspended in complete darkness. You followed the same routine every night, but today was different. Blackness surrounded you and closed in. You could see nothing, not even the hand in front of your face, and something tightened in your chest, clamped down on your lungs. For a second, you had control of the thing, were reaching for the light switch. Then you were spiraling.

Your mind was no longer in your safe room in Nueva York surrounded by the Spider Society who had taken you in and protected you and even become your friends. No. It was trapped in the silent and endless darkness of a collapsed universe, utterly alone, smothered in deafening silence. Your breath came in rapid, shallow pants, and you stumbled back until your knees hit the edge of the bed. You sat down on the soft mattress, drew up your knees, wrapped your arms around yourself, bowed your head, and tried to breath through it.

Caught in your panic attack, you didn’t even hear two familiar voices arguing, or see the light from the hallway fall across the room as the door was pushed open, or notice the shadows that loomed in the doorway.

“I know what you’re doing, Peter,” Miguel snarled.

“I’m not doing- why’s the door open?”

Miguel noticed you first. The dim room was the perfect environment for his sensitive eyes to make out your hunched form and trembling shoulders. In an instant, he was kneeling in front of you, an act that confirmed every one of Peter B. Parker’s suspicions. He watched for a moment from the doorway before taking a step back and closing the door with a click. Miguel had this under control. He was sure of it.

A deep voice, gravelly as if it were being drug over stones whispered your name. It wrapped around you, held you tight, and pulled you above the thrashing waves. That crushing feeling in your chest relaxed ever so slightly, and finally, you managed a deep breath. Then a second. It’s okay now. The worst is over.

After the third breath, you looked up and searched the dark room in a search of the voice’s owner.

Two dimly glowing red orbs shone in the darkness. You knew exactly one person with red eyes. Slowly, your own eyes adjusted, and the broad outline of Miguel O’Hara materialized. He wasn’t wearing his usual vibrant suit, just a dark colored sweater. Even kneeling on the ground he was still tall enough to be eye level with you. The two of you stared at each other for a long second before Miguel slowly raised a hand and... and brushed his thumb across your cheek?

What was happening? All you could do was blink stupidly at him, but when you didn't shy away he brought his other hand to your face. He smoothed his thumbs over your cheeks. He was wiping away your tears so gently and with such concern it seemed impossible. His hands were soft, softer than they had any right to be, and those dangerous claws that had done so much damage to you earlier were nowhere to be seen.

“You’re safe. You’re here with me.” Miguel’s voice was so commanding; he was obviously accustomed to giving order, but that actually made it more reassuring. “I’m here.”

I’m here. For some unexplainable reason those words reassured you more than anything. You didn't even think, just did. You slid forward on the bed and buried your face in the broad muscles of Miguel’s shoulder. His sweater was as soft as anything you could have imagined, and his warmth seeped through the fabric. He smelled like fresh laundry and something more woody and musky.

Miguel haltingly wrapped his arms around you, awkward at first, before he pulled you in closer. He held you like that for several long minutes, running his hands across your back and drawing small circles with fingers until your breathing synced with his.

Since coming to this place, the most physical contact you had with anyone was the occasional hug or handshake or Mayday crawling up your arm. Before that it was Miguel holding you in the rain while he sucked his venom - you had confirmed that it was venom - from your body. Before that you had been trapped in a collapsed universe or on the run. Before that... well, being Spider-Woman was a lonely job.

To be held like this was the most comforting experience you had in longer than you cared to remember. You didn’t want to let go. Even when you realized that in this position Miguel was kneeling between your legs you didn’t let go.

Eventually, he shifted with a quiet huff. You pulled back immediately. What were you doing? Miguel definitely didn’t want you all over him. What could you have possibly been thinking, using the man who actively avoided you for comfort?

Miguel stood and stretched. You looked away, suddenly self-conscious.

“Thank you. I’m okay now,” you muttered.

That was an obvious lie. The man tilted his head as he gazed down at you. He knew what this loneliness was like, how it felt to have wallowed in solitude for so long that you forget how to feel anything but alone. His eyes shifted to your shoulder where a tank top did nothing to hide the four long scars he had left in your skin. You tracked his gaze and immediately tried to cover them with your hand.

“I’m okay,” you repeated, hinting that he could go even though part of you - an insane, irrational, needy part of you - wanted him to stay.

Miguel ran his fingers through his wavy brown hair with a sigh before sitting down, uninvited, on your bed. Next to you. He sat down next to you. On your bed.

Miguel O’Hara was handsome. You never denied that, especially now while he was inches from you smelling the way he smelled and radiating much needed warmth. The temptation to lean into him was strong, but not strong enough to override your embarrassment that he, of all the Spider-People, had seen you at your lowest point.

“I thought you were jumping through the Arach- the Spider-Verse with bad intentions. I had no idea you were running… from me.” The explanation came out of nowhere. Miguel turned to look down at you. “You had the potential to cause a lot of damage, and I panicked. I forgot you’re one of us, and I hurt you, and I’m sorry.” Another long pause. “My claws have never poisoned anyone before.”

The apology was genuine, you could hear it in his voice. Some invisible barrier between the two of you shattered then.

“Are you saying you didn’t mean to kill me with your venomous talons, you only meant to seriously maim me with your regular talons?” You could feel a smile growing as you tried joking with him.

Miguel looked back at the bed spread. Should you? Was this a good idea? You threw caution to the wind and leaned over to bump your shoulder against Miguel’s.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ve all made mistakes. Glad I was threatening enough to scare you like that.”

“That’s not what- okay.”

“You can look at them. If you want, I mean.” You nodded to your scarred shoulder.

Slowly, as if afraid to scare you off, Miguel smoothed a finger over the scars. They were deep and jagged, but had healed rather well all things considered. His hand on your neck startled you for a moment before you realized what he was doing. Four tiny scars from his fangs still decorated your skin, and he was tracing his thumb over each one.

Miguel felt you swallow, realized what he was doing, and then froze. A single second stretched into an eternity during which you could confront every thought racing through your head. He’d chased you for months, but he had a good reason. He’d hurt you. Then he saved your life. There was that thing Peter said about Mayday being good for him. And Miguel’s sad eyes and ever-present frown. And how warm he’d felt while he held you. And the ripples of muscle across his entire body.

He’d kept his promise not to send you back. And he was handsome. Handsome and sad. So instead of pulling away and kicking him out and going back to avoiding each other, you leaned into him.

There was nothing awkward about Miguel’s movements this time. He wrapped an arm around you and maneuver you both until you were laying down, curled up against his side, head on his shoulder, his arm around your waist.

“What is going on?” You whispered.

“I’ll stay here until you fall asleep,” Miguel whispered back.

“Okay, but why?”

“Because... because I know how it feels to lose everyone and have no one to hold you.”

You looked up at him then. He was staring at the ceiling, some memory you couldn’t see dancing across his eyes. Peter said Mayday was good for Miguel then refused to answer any more questions. The frown lines. How ferociously he protected the multiverse. Mayday was good for Miguel. Mayday. The kid.

It hit you then, and it should have been the most obvious thing in the world. Miguel had lost his family, probably in circumstances not too different from your own. You wanted to know everything about the Spider-Man with the fangs and venom and the saddest eyes you had ever seen. Not now though.

Already, you felt sleep tugging at the edge of your consciousness, a sense of safety and comfort brought on by Miguel’s presence.

“You could stay until I wake up,” you offered drowsily and splayed a hand across his chest. “If you want.”

Miguel ran his fingers lightly over the back of your hand.

“I think I might.”

A/N: There is a teeny tiny potential for an 18+ Part 3. No solid plan yet, but possible. Thanks for all the love on this fic!

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ponderingmoonlight · 8 months ago

Text

Chapter 3: Window of Opportunity

Pairing: Gojo x fem! reader

Warnings: language, Gojo being well Gojo, domestic violence, thank y'all for sharing your experience with me, it helped me so much understanding childhood trauma and made me transform it into this fic <3

Synopsis: Being the daughter of the Zenin clan made it your mission to defeat him. Him, Satoru Gojo, the honored one. Him, who makes your life a living hell. Him, who begins to get so much more than your curse...

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Romance, Hurt to Comfort

<- Previous Chapter l Next Chapter ->

„Oh, did you say something? I can’t understand you when you’re crying like a baby”, you purr as the eyes of the man who writhes in front of you like a little worm fill with tears of sheer fear.

Your grin grows wider and wider, satisfaction filling you to the brim. Maybe that mission isn’t so bad after all when you’re finally able to use your special abilities again.

While you are a skilled combat fighter, the director strictly forbids you to use Phobia Projection against another member of Jujutsu High since your former classmate almost hung himself because of it. You roll your eyes out of instinct.

As if it was his fault that his mind is so damn weak.

“I know he tried to kill us a few seconds ago. But don’t you think you’re going a little too harsh on him, (y/n)?”, Geto questions while manspreading the whole couch and eying you up and down.

“I’m not harsh on him. He’s seeing his own fears, I have nothing to do with that”, you defend yourself with a casual shoulder shrug.

How is it your fault that this guy acts like a baby? You let yourself sink next to Geto, watch from afar how the little bug continues to cry out in agony.

Unfortunately, your powers don’t allow you an insight into what your opponents go through. Is his worst fear a spider, a monster, or even worse…a human? Too bad there’s no way to find out since they never tell you afterwards. Maybe you’ll be able to torture it out of him. With a little bit of cutting and a whole lot of punching-

“P-please, make it stop!”, he yells out over and over.

The violent ringing of Geto’s phone rips you out of your chuckling and more than entertaining thoughts with an annoyed groan. Urgh, who the hell is interrupting that wonderful moment?

“Did you beat him already? I hope the dirty Zenin brat wasn’t in the way.”

You don’t have to look at the screen to know who’s calling, pulse rising to the rooftop. It’s him, the white-haired douchebag. Much to your liking, Geto decided it would be best if you accompany him instead of Gojo. But even if you’re not forced to be next to him physically right now, you’re still doing this mission together. Which means that he’s always there – like herpes.

“Spare your stinky breath. We were done before you decided to-“

“HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME!”

“Can you shut the fuck up? I’m having a serious call with a douchebag right now”, you bark at the man rolling on the floor.

“You’re an evil witch”, Gojo comments dryly on the other side of the phone.

“Evil, huh? Well, at least I’m not as dumb as-“

“Can you two just stop? We have him here as well as the vessel. I’ll send you the location. Don’t cause trouble.”

“Tell that this little-“

Oh right, the plasma vessel. You eye the girl lying opposite of you up and down, her dark hair falling into her closed eyes like a curtain. Must be rough, knowing your only reason walking on this planet is the stinging fact that a part of you will get killed within the next years.

How is she different from you, though?

You, with your family pressuring you into pouring your heart and soul into training, who never accepted you despite your heart work. You, who lost a part of herself in the process of forcing the best version of (y/n) onto you. You, who slowly but surely turned into a frightening resemblance of her family’s shadow, crossing a path she never imagined she’d land on as a kid. You sacrificed your smile, your dignity, your heart for the mission to become better than Gojo Satoru.

Aren’t you just like her?

“Hey, are you good?”

The sheer feeling of Geto’s warm hand resting against your shoulder rips you out of your daydreaming immediately.

“I’m not that Gojo weakling. You don’t need to watch over me”, you reply dryly, gifting him with the deadliest side-eye you have in store.

Well, maybe not the deadliest. That gaze is reserved for Naoya and Gojo only.

“Is there a reason apart from Satoru being a member of the Gojo clan why you hate him? I never understood what’s the deal between both of you.

You can’t help but tilt your head to the side, mind going blank for a second. Now that you think of it…Is there really a reason apart from the fact that your family taught you to hate him for your huge dislike? When you two first saw each other that one evening, he was nothing but a nice boy your age through your innocent eyes. A boy with a quite charming smile, who always had a cheeky reply in store. A boy with a strict family himself. Yes, you actually had a lot in common. And to some point, you began to like him in the few minutes you talked to each other.

Until you came back home and realized who exactly you were talking to.

“You did what?”, your father hissed through gritted teeth.

Another ruthless slap. Blood spilled to the ground, discoloured everything around you crimson. Eyes widen and teary, lips trembling when his flat palm crushed into your face again.

Over and over.

Again and again.

Until you weren’t able to feel your face anymore, eyes so swollen that your vision faded.

“Let me remind you of wrong little thing.”

He grabbed you by the hair Gojo complimented just a few minutes ago roughly and yanked you into the air.

“You are nothing, the biggest disappointment in my whole life. If it was for me, you’d be dead already. But because of your other lousy family members, you get the chance to surpass that Gojo brat. And you?”

Another slap, your feet tangled in the air like a wind chime.

“You actually befriend him. You disgust me, (y/n). And you always will. You’ll never bring honor to your family.”

“He’s himself, that’s enough”, you press out.

“What do we have here, dreaming about me, (y/n)?”

Speaking of the devil. Before you’re even able to accept his existence in the same room, he stands in front of you and grins you down.

That fucker, the reason for your suffering, for the fact that your family doesn’t accept you…

Your hand reacts faster than the rest of your body. A ruthless slap sends Satoru Gojo straight back to reality, echoes through the room without mercy. Your palm begins to burn like hell while your uneven breath hangs in the thick air between both of you.

“What was that, huh?”

He roams closer, his redden skin showing your act of violence way too clearly.

“Who the hell do you think you are, little bitch?”

Your throat begins to tighten uncomfortably, the veins in your arms throbbing in an all too familiar way.

Hatred. You feel nothing but hatred.

“You’d deserve even more than that, asshole”, you bite back.

He’s so close that you’re able to sense the heat radiating from his body and how his breath wanders over your face. You feel like burning alive, so unusual aroused that it’s hard to keep a straight face. Did he always look at you with his lips slightly parted, his eyes glowing like they normally do in serious fights? You are trapped between both of his arms, roasted by his heat, defeated by the way he looks down at you without saying another word.

What is that? And most importantly, do you want it to stop?

You can’t decide for yourself. In the split of a second you find yourself surrounded by broken glass, free fall down from the 15th floor.

Fuck, who’s responsible for this? Did Gojo go this far, would he actually throw you out of a skyscraper just to get rid of you? He might be the biggest asshole walking on this planet, but he’d never do something so damn basic. No, it has to be someone who is chasing after the star plasma vessel, someone who kept an eye on you this entire time.

Well, who’s responsible for this mess isn’t your biggest problem. At the moment, you are on your rapid way to crash into the ground, your guts feeling as if they’ll spill out of your mouth any given minute. And even though you’re able to inhibit the impact, this will still hurt like hell.

Do you have another way out of here, though? Getting hurt is better than crying for anyone’s help, after all. You close your eyes, embrace yourself for multiple broken bones and a wave of pain as soon as you hit the ground.

But it never happens.

“Aren’t so brave anymore, huh? If you only had told me that I would have to throw you out of a sky-high window to get you to shut up, brat.”

Just to let y'all know, I'm still over here giggling like an idiot over the title of that chapter hehehehe

Tags: @whereismysane @risuola @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @livmarauder @sapphireandange

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@m0k0k0

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whatdoeseverybodywant · 8 months ago

Text

Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 7

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

❤ Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

All OC Characters belong to me

Prequel (All Falls Down)

Series Masterlist

“Soo.” Elijah trailed off as he and Kiyana were driving to the restaurant. “That was your ex-husband huh?”

“Yeah.” She said “I’m so sorry about that..” She apologized again. “He wasn’t supposed to be there.” she paused. “Him or his cousin.” Elijah laughed.

“It’s no big deal. Trust me. I’ve dealt with worse from my ex-wife. Her brothers are still on my ass to this day.” He chuckled again.

“Oh you were married?” Kiyana asked, perplexed because he never mentioned it.

“Is that a problem?” Now Elijah was confused. Not even 10 minutes ago, he thought he was about to have a melee with her ex husband and his cousin. He cut his eyes over to her before looking back at the road when she didn’t answer. “Ki?”

“No, it’s not a problem.” She shrugged. “I just thought you would mention it by now.” She paused, and turned her head to look at him. “It’s not a big deal though.”

“You sure?” Elijah asked as he pulled up to a red light, now turning his full attention to her. “I don’t wanna start us off on the wrong foot.”

“Ohh, there’s an us?” She teased with a smile, feeling her cheeks heat up.

“There’s definitely an us. I normally have a rule that I don’t date coworkers but, it’s just something about you Kiyana.” There goes them butterflies again. She thought as their faces inched closer. He cupped her jaw and Kiyana felt her heart rate spike. Just as their lips were about to connect, the car behind them honked causing the both of them to jump away from each other.

“Fuck!” Josh cursed as he watched Kiyana get into Elijah’s car and drive off. This was exactly what he was afraid of. He stomped past Joe and into his former home. “Samara!” He called out, softly though, still mindful of his sleeping children. “Mara?!” He called out again, rolling his eyes as she strolled out of the kitchen munching on his children’s Doritos.

“What?”

“What restaurant did they go to?” He huffed when she shrugged and pushed past him to sit on the couch. “Samara ,please.” Josh begged. “I know I fucked up by doin' what I did. But shit, I can’t just give up and go let her fall in love with someone else. I won’t be able to take it. So please, just tell me what restaurant they went to.”

Samara felt her hatred for Josh slip away. While they were never close she still considered him a friend and one thing about Samara was that she hated seeing her friends hurting. “Fine.” She sighed out. “But you have to answer my question first.” Josh nodded immediately.

“Aight, whatever you wanna know.”

“Why did you do it? What made you cheat on Kiyana?” oh Josh gulped. “Josh?”

“I don’t know. “ He said and Samara sucked her teeth. “I- we were arguing about her not listening to the doctor about not stressing. I just wanted her and Kairo to be okay.” He walked over and sat down on the couch next to her and put his head in his hands. “You know the same thing happened when she was pregnant with Kehlani.” Neither one of them heard Joe as she entered the house and stood right by the entrance to the living room, listening to their conversation. “Her auntie died and..” He blew out a breath. “She wouldn’t relax, she wouldn’t just stop and not stress. I already have one dead kid. I didn’t want another.”

Samara nodded, remembering how Kiyana blamed herself for years for the death of Kehlani. “So that’s why you cheated?” Josh scoffed and shook his head.

“Hell no. I just- I wanted to vent. Everyone around me kept talking about how Kiyana felt and..” He paused and sniffled, wiping his eyes. “I- it’s selfish but damn, Kenneth was like a dad to me too. When Kish and my mom were going through it Ken and Ms Imani welcomed me with open arms. I just wanted to vent to someone who wouldn’t say oh well it’s Kiyana’s dad. And Shanté was there at the right time. It wasn’t my intention to start the affair, I just wanted someone to talk to and things went too far.”

Joe let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He couldn’t intervene with Josh and Kiyana nomore. He had already done enough damage by sleeping with Kiyana and truth be told, Josh was his favorite cousin and even if Joe thought that Kiyana should be with him, he didn’t want to hurt his cousin more than he already did.

“The Grand Marlin.” Samara said after a minute of silence between her and Josh. “He took her to The Grand Marlin.”

Josh pulled Samara in for a hug and thanked her. “Do not fuck this up again Joshua. I swear on my life I will make sure she fucks every single one of your family members.” Josh sucked his teeth and pushed her away from him.

“Damn Samara.” She shrugged and pointed towards the front door.

“Go, before she falls in love with him or something.” Josh nodded and rushed towards the front door, only to be stopped by Joe blocking it.

“Uce come-on. Don’t do this to me right now. You proved your point already.” Joe shook his head and put his hands up defensively.

“I just wanted to apologize to you Josh. You my family and I should have never took it there with your wife.” Josh sucked his teeth.

“You don’t mean that shit. What you want me to go get my wife back so you can fuck her again.” Josh felt the urge to pummel Joe so he took a deep breath. “ Getcho’ big ass out my way Joseph.”

“Josh, this is the most serious I've been with you in years. I’m sorry.” Josh narrowed his eyes at Joe. Not believing him in the slightest. But he couldn’t worry about Joe right now, right now he needed to get to Kiyana.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Kiyana smiled over at Elijah as he pulled out her chair for her. “I’ve never been here before.”

“No problem Ms. Jackson. I plan to give you a lot of first time experiences” He winked back as the waiter came over and asked for their drink orders.

Elijah kept a smile on Kiyana’s face all throughout dinner. And if Kiyana was being honest, this was the best date she had been on in years.

Her weekly ‘dates’ with Josh were just them going out to dinner, nothing special or spectacular. He stopped making her feel special a long time ago and she had just gone with the flow because she loved him.

“Hey that’s your ex-husband right?” Elijah’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she turned her head in the direction he was pointing to see Josh arguing with the maitre’d and pointing in her direction.

“Oh my god.” She muttered, covering her face with her hands. “This is so embarrassing. Just give me two minutes please.” She said, biting her lip as she stood from the table and walked over to where Josh was making an ass out of himself.

“All you had to do was let me through dickhead.” He sneered at the man, who was only trying to do his job.

“Joshua.” Kiyana hissed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and dragging him outside of the restaurant. “What are you doing?!”

“Tryna stop you from making a mistake. I’m so fucking sorry Key.” He whispered, cupping her face in his hands. “About everything. About Shanté.” He swallowed hard when he saw her flinch at Shanté’s name. “About not sticking up for you at J’s party. About everything.” He repeated and Kiyana started shaking her head.

“No.” She laughed as tears started to well up in her eyes. “You can’t just come here and ruin my date. You have no right Joshua.” She pushed him away from her. “You cheated on me, there is no apologizing for that, not after the shit I put up with from you and your family for years.”

“Kiyana please - “

“Go home Joshua.” She muttered, blinking her tears away. She was done crying over him. “I’m trying to move on, you need to do the same.” Josh felt as if Kiyana just reached into his chest and pulled his heart out, as she gave him one last look before turning and walking back into the restaurant to continue her date. Leaving him heartbroken and empty.

🙃

Y'all think Josh can actually win her back or y'all think Kiyana is over him and nothing her can do will fix or change anything. ?

❤ Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

A/N: Sorry this took two weeks 😭. I was just feeling a bit stuck with this chapter. Hopefully chapter 8 won't take another 2 weeks.

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dontlookatmytmntcollection · 8 months ago

Note

(I didn’t find any info if your askbox is closed or not, if you are not taking up requests you can ignore this!)

But hi :) how are you? how you are doing well

this is a bit personal, but would you mind doing either a Headcanon or scenario with reader x turtles (romantic/crush stage) with a…Hopeless reader? Kinda someone who had to tell themselves that love isn’t on their life journey and that seriously bother them? Lol

this weekend I’m gonna attend a friends wedding, while meeting with some shared friends before the wedding, one of them quoted corpse bride’s scene “to Emily, always the bridesmaid, never the bride” for me (most of my friends are married or dating long term), usually I handle the lack of a love life fairly well (by not thinking about it or just making jokes about it lol) but tonight it kinda really bothered me, a lot.) a lot of my friends treat me being single as something I don’t out efforts in it? But holy shit I do, and it really hurts to see them saying or acting like I’m not doing enough? Anyways. I guess the request would be how the turtles would react to a reader who kinda just lost hope, who agrees with the quote even if it makes her very sad? Kinda trying to wing the night lowkey but turtles can sense it hurt her (maybe Vern said the quote lol, or something similar… that’s something stupid enough for the falcon to do 😅)

I hope makes sense, if not I apologize for the messy ask. Have a good day / night

I'm sorry that happened. Your friends definitely need to stfu about that lol dating and relationships are fun, but nobody NEEDS them. If they need a RELATIONSHIP to feel fulfilled, they have shit to figure out.

Definitely been there tho. And being single can be horrible. I see you

Scene: Your turtle has been secretly pining for you for a while now. Hasn't got the guts to say anything yet.

TMNT x Lonely Reader

Leo

- He could sense your reaction instantly, despite how well you hid it.

- Your micro expressions, the slight but sudden shift of your bodyweight away from Vern- Leo almost didn't catch that you had smiled and laughed at the comment.

- His own reaction was visceral and overwhelming, at least it was to him.

-He remained still by your side, but the urge to...he didn't even know. Hide you. Push hard at Verns shoulder- something.

-Geez. He hadn't felt like this since he was a child. Like he could protect his little brothers or you from judgment or cruelty.

-He couldn't.

-He sucked in a breath through his nose, scrambling for self-control; watching you handle the interaction like an adult. Forcing himself to as well.

-But it did satisfy him to see that Vern physically felt his animosity. The guy took once glance at Leo before he instantly stuttered an excuse to walk to another conversation.

-"Vern is an idiot." Leo scratched out, desperate to keep what he really wanted to say to you at a minimum. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."

-You seemed surprised at that, glancing up at him. But your quite, sincere smile made it it worth it.

Raph

- "Always the brides maid, never the bride, huh?"

- "What?" It was a reactive response. Before you could even register what he had said, or the sudden amount of hurt- or embarrassment you felt.

- Raph had turned wide, expectant eyes on Vern as well, something Vern noticed instantly.

- "Well, yunno." Vern stutteres, trying to stay focused on you. "I've seen ya at these events a lot but you never bring a guy around...or-"

-"See that girl over there?" Raph suddenly said, leaning down a little to point your gaze in the right direction.

- "Yeah." You said quietly.

-"Who's that girl, Vern?"

-Vern looked back at you guys, shrugging and putting his hands back in his pockets with an air of pride. "She's my girlfriend."

-Raph smirked, his voice somehow both condescending and unusually soft. "Vern met her a week ago. That makes her..." Raph trailed off, looming back into his full height, towering over Vern. "The sixth one this year, right. Makin' you real good at givin' advice to pretty girls, Falcon boy. Careful with that."

-"Jesus. I'm just- I'll be over there." Vern sighed, awkwardly stepping aside then walking out of sight.

- Raph said nothing, instead turning to you. "You alright?"

-You were desperate not to say everything you wanted to. "Much better." You said instead, looking up at him. Hoping the softness you saw there was a reflection of what you felt for him too.

Donnie

- Donnie couldn't even react or register the words before you were handling it. Shrugging and waving Vern off.

-He was horrified. His eyes were glued to Vern, completely confused that the guy had missed how rude of a statement that was.

-The conversation came and went, and while he had a wonderful time, he was entirety focused on you.

-While you didn't seem MISERABLE, you were different. Something had obviously changed. And it was Verns fault.

-You had no reason to feel pressure of that kind. You were perfect the way you were! No one should ever, ever, ever make you feel anything less.

-The thought that you did made him physically sick to his stomach.

-He might not have caught it in time to say anything in the moment.

-But Verns apartment locks, car, computer, and bathroom pipes all giving him a hard time all in the next 24 hours?

-A complete and utter mystery...

Mikey

-"Yeah you should listen to him." Mikey said.

-Shock coursed through you. "What?" You looked at him, wide eyed, heart in your throat- "W- I should-"

-"You should listen to him." Mikey repeated, noding solumley, starting to confidently strole around Vern. "This guy has fantastic dating advise. You don't even know, girl. Look at him!" Mikey's smile was as bright as the sun, gesturing to Vern as if he was a plater he was showing off to you.

-"He's been on this earth so long, his life experience exceeds our very comprehension, girl."

-Vern made a sudden puzzled expression while yours melted quickly into a smile.

-"He's got recipes too. Qualifications, evidence, the whole nine yards. Guy has like- twelve grand kids-"

-"I- C'mon, Mike-" Vern was catching on.

-"Ohhh.. yeah, that's right. No grandkids. But he does have a wife. They just had their fiftieth anniversary-!"

-"I'm not that o- He's joking with you." Vern tried to explain. "I'm not married."

-Mikey snapped his fingers as he had remembered something, suddenly getting much, MUCH closer in Verns personal space.

-"Oh yeah, that's right. You're not married. I forget that your on, like, your sixth girlfriend this month. Maybe actual advise sounds like..."

-Mikey stepped away from Vern, standing infront of you. "Keep those standards up, girl. Pretty face like yours? You could have anyone you want."

-You couldn't stop smiling.

#bayverse #raphael #leonardo #tmnt #donatello #tmnt bayverse #bayverse tmnt #my writing #tmnt headcanons #raphael x reader #bayverse leonardo #leonardo x reader #bayverse donatello #donatello x reader #tmnt michelangelo #michelangelo x reader #michelangelo

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pixiesfz · 11 months ago

Note

Is that Jessie fic getting a 3rd part? I want to see them reunite 🥺

I wrote this in my study I:

ALSO: I changed the club that y/n moved to because I was told Gotham wasn't near Portland and then I felt stupid but I'm not that familiar with NWSL

the set up j.f

plot: Your teammate is giving you a hard time about Jessie

warnings: angst part 3 of hey there

You had finally settled into your new home and had made your debut for Seattle Reign FC.

You had made some new friends and even kept in contact with almost all of the girls from Chelsea, Christine had come over every now and then to make sure you were okay but in reality there was only ever one girl that you wanted to see.

Jessie.

You hated yourself for it.

You were the one who broke her heart, you were the one to tear your relationship apart.

She has every right to ignore you.

But it still hurts when you would see each other in public and she wouldn’t even say hi.

But today was different. Today Seattle Reign would vs Portland Thorns and as both you and Jessie were midfielders you knew there would have to be some sort of altercation between you two.

Lauren Barnes, a friend you had made since your move was waving her hand in front of your face, trying to gain attention as you sipped on your hot chocolate. “Earth to y/n” she sang out and you looked up at her “Sorry?” you asked

“I said are you worried about the game but I think I already got my answer” she smirked “Oh” you shrugged “I guess”.

“So it’s true then,” Lauren said, leaning closer to you “What is?” you asked

“That you and Jessie dated before she moved to Portland”

You rolled your eyes at her eagerness “Yes we did Lozza, now go off and pester someone else” you whined, and the girl shook her head “Why’d you break up?” she asked “Because she was going to Portland and I thought my forever home was London” you told her “but you’re back here” she pointed out “I am” you nodded “So…” she trailed off “So?” you asked.

“So get back together!” she whisper yelled and you flinched away “Jesus Lauren” you whisper yelled back and she backed away sheepishly “Sorry”.

The girl didn’t stop making comments about the Canadian to you on the bus and in the changing room as you all got ready.

“You are not helping me,” you told the girl as you laced up your boots.

“I’m being honest I saw her looking at you when we were all checking out the pitch” she excitedly told you “No she wasn’t” you denied “She was! It was like you guys were playing tennis, every time you looked away she was looking at you and every time you looked at her she was looking away!”

“Do you mind focussing on the game?”

“Nope”.

You rolled your eyes in defeat and shrugged off your jacket “let’s go games about to start” you huffed and walked away.

Christine saw you walk out with a scowl as she was also planning to get an early start on the line-up.

“Kiddo what’s up?” she exclaimed and grabbed your shoulders, you turned your head towards her “Just a bad day,” you told her “Was it Lauren teasing you?” she asked and you shot your head up “How Did you-“ “I may have asked her to ask about Jessie to you” she admitted and you stepped back “why?”

“Because I have been pestering Jessie”

“Well stop,” you told her “Me and Jessie broke up a year ago” you started, not hearing the boots that were walking behind you “It’s been a year and I haven’t even got the courage to start a conversation with her and you guys are telling me to ask her out again, do you even know if that’s what she wants” you ranted.

Jessie has always been an early bird, to everything. It usually gave her peace and quiet but when she decided to join Christine at the line-up she definitely wasn’t expecting to see you waving your hands around whilst complaining.

“I haven’t even got the courage to start a conversation with her and you guys are telling me to ask her out again, do you even know if that’s what she wants?”

Your words were clean off your tongue and Jessie stepped away and hid behind the corner.

Ask her out again.

But you didn’t love her.

At least that’s what you told her.

“I’m sorry” you apologized to Christine and hugged her, sighing in relief when she smoothed her hands over your back “Freshen up kid, I’ll see you on the field”.

You walked away, thankfully to the front so Jessie didn’t have to worry about you but as soon as you were out of sight Jessie stepped to Christine.

“Why are you meddling?” she asked the older Canadian who was shocked to see her “Jessie-“ “She told me she didn’t love me and I moved states, I thought I was over her” she gritted her teeth “god” she cursed “you guys can at least talk about it,” Christine said and Jessie scoffed “she might have something that you’ll want to hear,” the older woman said softly “like what, how much she didn’t love for those two years of us dating”

“Jessie” Christine tried to reason but the girl back away “I’ll come when Janine does” she said and walked back to the room, opposite of where you had gone.

Christine watched her walk away and lifted her arms in surrender.

“Fucking kids”.

#woso x reader #woso #jessie fleming #jflem #jessie fleming x reader #part 4 coming right after

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redheadspark · 10 months ago

Note

Barry Keoghan March Prompt 2 please and thank you 💙

A/N - Aww this is adorable! I made this nice and short and cute for you to read, I hope you like it! Thanks for requesting!

Hold

Summary - Barry loves holding your hand

Warning - Just fluff :)

“Alright, how does your month look for our holiday?”

“Looks, good. The awards season is done and I have a solid month open before my next project,”

“Perfect! And….done, we’re officially going on holiday,”

Barry chuckled as you slammed the Laptop shut in relief, he reached over to lace your fingers together from across the tiny coffee table between the pair of you. The rest of the shop was mostly deserted, except for a few patrons who were working on their own computers or reading. With the pattering of rain and the sun attempting to push through the storm clouds that were rolling by, you and Barry wanted to hide out in a coffee shop and have some one-on-one time together. It was one of your favorite coffee shops, you found a spot tucked away from the windows and out of the public eye since Barry was not being recognized out and about. He loved his stardom, he truly did, but he also loved having time away from set or paparazzi could be your boyfriend.

One of his favorite things to do with you was hold your hand.

Sure it seemed like it was such a simple thing to do, but he loved having your hand in his. Anytime he could, he would hold your hand and keep it tucked tight. Walking together shoulder to shoulder, watching a movie together cuddled on the couch, even falling asleep together when he would cuddle you close in his embrace. Something about having your hand in his, it felt like Ana char for him with how fast things were moving in his life.

“Where are we goin’?” He asked you as you took a long sip from your latte.

“Not going to tell you,” You hummed as an answer, seeing him cock up an eyebrow at you, “As someone who has connections to travel agents, this holiday is going to be amazing for us. Just be prepared to dress for warmth,”

“Ah, so I need my speedo?” He joked, and you giggled as he grinned from ear to ear.

“You would want to bring your speedo when we go under the sun,” You teased, “But you can’t get a sunburn or else your publicist will kill me,”

“Eh, she won’t do a thing to you,” Barry reassured you as he scooted over to be right next to you, wrapping a spare arm around your shoulders to tuck you in a bit closer next to him. Your hands were still connected on top of the table, his thumb stroking your skin back and forth along our hand as he spoke again, “She’s a great publicist, but wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“I know, that’s why I like her: she's kind but she keeps you in check when you’re away,” You explained, Barry kissing the top of your head.

“You make it seem like I’m a bad boy,” he commented, though he saw you smile as he poked your side, “You think I am, don’t ya?”

“Never said that,” You replied with a laugh as he poked your side again. Barry loved this banter between the pair of you, ever since you met two years ago thanks to a mutual friend who introduced the pair of you at a wrap party from one of his independent films. Barry instantly liked you, from how you laughed at one of the corny pickup lines another bloke tried on you, to how you were asking him plenty of questions about acting and what method he liked the best. He could tell you genuinely liked him as a person, not as an actor or a movie star. He asked you for your number, and you two have been a pair since then.

He was an actor who thrived and craved privacy, especially when it came to his personal life. He wanted to have his relationship with you as private as possible, not wanting to have public dates or extravagant vacations. In fact, he was the opposite, wanting to find little tucked-away restaurants to eat at or small getaways with no prying eyes. He saw now that acting life can tear families and relationships apart, and the one main thing he never wished for was to have his life with you tainted and ruined. But you never cared, not when you had your own life to deal with and your workload keeping you busy most days.

Still, little by little, you were known as his girlfriend. Barry taking you to a couple of premiers, dropping your name at interviews and talk shows, even walking with you side by side with the paparazzi catching the image at the right moment. He could see that you were no wallflower when it came to being in the spotlight from time to time. Sometimes the gossip columns and tabloids did get to you once or twice, but you were they were lies and not even close to the truth.

Barry loved having your hand in his when times were tough or when he was too stressed, It brought him inner peace and tranquility. If he could, he would hold your hand all the time and never let you go. Sure it seemed possessive, but he didn’t care. Barry cared about you and how you moved him from the inside out. Even seeing pictures of the two of you holding hands out in public, at a premiere or a party would always put butterflies in his stomach and make his heart swell.

He never felt like this with any other girlfriend, not for a long time.

“So, this warm holiday, am I going to be seeing you in a gorgeous swimsuit?” He asked you in a coy tone.

“Maybe, along with some of my favorite books to read and plenty of sunshine for the pair of us to share together,” You explained, “And it’s going to be at least 5 days too, so pack plenty of clothes…or not.”

“Hey!” He snorted, the pair of you laughing at the light antics between you two in your booth. He looked down at your joined hands, feeling the warmth of your palm against his own and your soft hands against his calloused fingers. He knew he wanted to hold your hand forever and beyond that as well.

Inwardly, he was glad that you planned this holiday out for the pair of you to enjoy. He had other plans that he was going to make with you, given the small ring box that he stored away in his dresser drawer back at his flat. He dreamed of placing a tiny diamond on your finger, for some time actually.

But you planning the holiday made it just a pinch sweeter.

The End

Spring Prompt Session

#barry keoghan #barry keoghan x reader #barry keoghan x female reader #barry keoghan imagine #barry keoghan x oc #barry keoghan x you #barry keoghan angst #fanfiction #writing #my love

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artiststarme · 2 years ago

Text

Exes and Oh’s

Based on a prompt from @nburkhardt and some comments from @i-less-than-three-you. I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

Title brought to you by @kissaphobic-kas

~*~*~*~

When Robin told Steve that she and Nancy were dating, he was happy for her. Of course he was, his best friend was finally in a true relationship and he was thrilled that Nancy could be who she needed. He had no reason not to be happy and supportive of them. And yet, there was still something holding him back from giving them his full support.

While it had been literal years since they dated, Nancy had broken his heart. She’d torn it from his chest, trampled all over it, looked at the bottom of her shoe, and called it bullshit. Deep down, Steve was afraid she’d do the same thing to Robin.

Robin was his best friend and he didn’t want to see her hurt. He’d already had to coach her through the disappointment and dejection of losing the potential of dating Vickie and he’d seen how upset she was after that. He couldn’t even imagine how she’d react to getting her heart broken by Nance or how depressed she’d get when Nancy called her bullshit. It had taken Steve months before he could even look at Nancy without feeling his heart break and he certainly didn’t want that for Robin.

With every happy smile he gave them came a look of wariness and after a few weeks, everyone started noticing it.

Robin started creating more distance between them, Nancy started glaring at him when she picked up Robin from work, and even the kids started calling him out on it. Dustin, in particular, made sure to voice his thoughts on the matter.

“You have to move on from Nancy, Steve! She’s with Robin now. You had your chance with both of them and now it’s just pathetic!” Dustin told him one night when he picked him up from DnD. The little bastard had staged some sort of subpar intervention for him.

Steve was not amused and was quick to come to his own defense. “What the hell are you talking about? I don’t have a thing for Nance or Robin. I’m happy for them!”

“Steve, we can see that you still like Nancy but Robin is with her now. You have to get over her,” Lucas said gently. The other kids nodded in agreement and even the other Hellfire guys tilted their heads in agreement. The only kid that didn’t nod or make a nasty remark was surprisingly Mike Wheeler. He had a look of understanding in his eyes like he understood why Steve was hesitant and it was throwing him off.

Steve sputtered at them, unsure of what to say to make them believe that he truly was 100% over Nancy Wheeler. Eddie, as usual, came to his rescue.

“Hey, listen up you little shits. Steve says there’s nothing going on so that means there’s nothing going on. Drop it or your characters are going to take some serious hit points.”

The kids grumbled a little bit but they did drop the subject for the time being. They all shuffled around to collect their items before marching outside to plan yet another ambush on him, probably.

Then there was Eddie. His boyfriend that he’d been dating all summer, the best friend turned boyfriend that no one knew about yet. Steve could tell that he was curious. When wasn’t he? But he was trying his best to be respectful despite the obvious tension between Steve and the rest of the Party. Steve couldn’t help but love him just a little bit more for having his back when no one else did.

Steve mentioned it to Eddie the next day while they were lounging around the Munson’s trailer. “You know I don’t love her still, right? Like Dustin said? That ship has sailed, definitely.”

Eddie’s eyebrow quirked and his face brightened with a cocky smirk. “Yeah Steve, you had my dick in your mouth an hour ago. That ship hasn’t just sailed, it sank to the bottom of the ocean and disintegrated into dust like your heterosexuality. What’s the real issue that’s got you so upset?”

Steve gave him an unimpressed look at his crass but he had a point. Eddie had absolutely nothing to worry about between him and Nancy. He deserved to hear the full story.

“You remember what happened at Tina’s Halloween party?” Eddie nodded. He’d already told Steve in the past that he’d heard the entire train wreck of a conversation through the thin walls of Tina’s house so he’d had a front row seat to their breakup. “Nancy really hurt me. She called our entire relationship bullshit. She called me bullshit! And that really fucked me up for a long time, still does sometimes. I can’t even hear the word ‘bullshit’ without feeling like a failure even still. I just�� I don’t want Robin to have to feel like that. You know?”

Eddie thought for a second before he nodded. “You’re worried about her, that’s understandable. Nancy hurt you and she might hurt Robin too. But she might not. And Robin knows the risks, you told her about how Nancy hurt you, right? She knows what she’s getting into and she’s willing to take that chance.”

“Um no, I haven’t told Robin about it.”

Eddie’s head jerked over to him and he looked at him in shock. “Why not? She’s your best friend, why wouldn’t you complain about your crappy ex with her?”

“Well first of all, that crappy ex is her current girlfriend-” Steve started.

“I mean before she started dating her and you know it-”

“Second of all, it’s embarrassing. What was I supposed to tell her? ‘Hey Robs, I wanted to let you know that Nancy broke my heart and hurt my feelings because I was a bad boyfriend and I don’t want her hurting you’? That wouldn't go well.” Steve shook his head. No, he didn’t quite know how to fix things with her but talking about his past heartbreak wasn’t going to do it.

“Stevie, baby. You just have to talk with her and she’ll understand. You guys are Platonic with a capital P soulmates. Just tell her and she’ll understand,” Eddie murmured to him. He kissed the back of Steve’s hand and rubbed the back of his neck.

“You really don’t care?” Steve asked him.

“Do I care that you’re concerned for your best friend? Stevie, you could be doing so much worse. Caring for your friend isn’t a red flag. I was accused of murder, which is a pretty big red flag, and you’re still with me,” Eddie laughed.

“Well that’s because you didn’t do it!” Steve protested.

“Steve, you could do anything and I would still love you,” Eddie told him earnestly.

“What if I actually killed someone?”

“Then we’d have to bury the body and then move because my reputation can’t handle any more murder accusations.”

What was Steve supposed to do in response to that besides kiss him?

He did end up talking to Robin a few hours after his talk with Eddie. There were tears, hugs, and a particularly memorable shovel talk between Steve and Nancy. Everything went back to normal and it stayed like that until Mike Wheeler walked in on Steve and Eddie making out. Then, the tentative understanding that existed between them flew right out the window.

Permanent Tag List: @doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @pyrohonk @straight4joekeery @ksherlock15 @conversesweetheart @estrellami-1 @suddenlyinlove @yikes-a-bee @swimmingbirdrunningrock @perseus-notjackson @anaibis @merricatty @maya-custodios-dionach @grtwdsmwhr @manda-panda-monium @lumoschild @goodolefashionedloverboi @mentallyundone @awkwardgravity1 @anzelsilver @jestyzesty @gregre369 @mysticcrownshipper @disasterlia @lillys-weird-world @messrs-weasley @gay-stranger-things @pnk-lemonades @coolestjoy30 @strangerthingfanfic @dangdirtydemons @bookworm0690

#Steve told Nancy that if she hurt Robin he would steal one of her guns and shoot her with it #she told him that if he even tried to touch one of her guns she would shoot to kill #Robin and Eddie watched them like a tennis match until Nancy started threatening Steve about his relationship with Eddie #Then Eddie conveniently disappeared through the back door #I'm too tired to proofread this- if you find a typo let me know #stranger things #steddie #fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #hellfire

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somethingvicked · 7 months ago

Text

True love of mine part 10.

An Eddie Munson story

Stranger Things AU (no Upside-Down)

warnings: female reader, angst, mentions of sex, weed and death of minor character, fluff.

Chapter 9.

Now

Y/N

You were lying in Eddie’s arms, both of you damp with sweat, the comforter kicked down to your waists.

You two hadn’t spoken since he rolled off of you, only the sounds of him stroking your skin was heard in his bedroom.

You could feel his spent running out of you and down your thighs and made an effort to sit up but he held you back.

“But… I’ll ruin the sheets,” you told him and he shook his head.

“Don’t care. I can’t let you go when I finally got you in my arms again, even if it’s just for a moment.”

You smiled at that, lying down and letting him hold you again. You ran your fingers over his tattoos and he played with your hair.

“It’s shorter,” he commented and you nodded.

“Yes. When you… after you left… I cut it off and kept it short. It just hurt every time I saw it and remembered how you used to love playing with it…”

Eddie had tensed up when you brought that up and you could feel your own muscles go taut from the stress of bringing it up.

You realized though that sooner or later you two should talk about everything. You didn’t know if Wayne had told Eddie that you knew, but you needed to talk to him anyway.

“Eds?”

“Hmm?”

“We do need to talk about it,” you told him softly and he closed his eyes, his face looking pained but he nodded.

“I’ll start. Wayne… he came to see me the other day. He’s the one that gave me the ticket to your concert.”

Eddie’s eyes widened and he shook his head. That wasn’t what he had expected you to bring up when you said that you needed to talk. The little reprieve from the hard memories, even if it was just a second, made him smile. “That old man… always has to meddle. But… I’m glad he did.”

“But… he also told me some other stuff. Why you left all those years ago,” you carefully continued and you heard Eddie inhale sharply.

“… he told you?” he whispered, so quietly that you could barely hear him.

“Yes.”

Eddie was quiet, but you could feel that his skin underneath your fingertips had gone ice cold and that the tenseness of his muscles had turned into tremblings. You wrapped your arms around him.

“I killed her,” he whispered, his face suddenly wet with tears. “I didn’t mean to, but I killed her.”

“No!” you exclaimed. “It was an accident, Eddie. A horrible accident that never should have happened, but an accident nonetheless. If she hadn’t gotten the pills from you she would have tried somewhere else. And… don’t forget she overdosed and mixed them with other pills. Had she taken the recommended dosage she would probably still be alive. I’m not saying it was her fault, but it wasn’t yours either!”

Eddie still trembled and cried, but you could feel he was listening to you.

“I don’t understand… if you knew… why did you show up tonight, follow me home? I was going to tell you, I was but… then I got so caught up in seeing you again and then… don’t you get it? I would have led you on if Wayne didn’t tell you! I’m a pig.”

“Eddie… I don’t think you are a pig. I wanted this as much as you did. My goal tonight was talking everything out with you, but I got caught up in the moment too. We still love each other and we haven’t had the chance to show that to each other for eleven years. It needed to happen.”

“So you mean, if I had slept with you and then dropped the bomb half an hour later, you wouldn’t have felt disgusted?”

You sighed. “Not disgusted, no. Shocked, maybe. And incredible sad, both for your sake and Chrissy’s. But I wouldn’t have felt taken advantage of. I don’t know if that makes me insane, but… Eddie, I don’t think any different about you! I’m just… so sad for your sake, that you had to go through that alone. I wish I could’ve been there for you but… I know why you felt you had to protect me. Protect us. I can’t even imagine how you feel about what happened, but… you did your time. Isn’t that what the society should really be about. You pay your dues and then… you should be given another chance?”

Eddie couldn’t help but snort at that. “In theory perhaps, but we both know that in ninetynine cases out of hundred it doesn’t turn out like that.”

“It did for you,” you pointed out. “You have made your own success after this. And… Wayne told me that you have stayed away from drugs and alcohol completely?”

Eddie nodded. “Yes. There were so many times after I came out of prison that I was tempted to take a joint, take a pill, drink myself stupid, just to forget… but after what happened to Chrissy I swore I would never go near any drugs again, neither to sell them or take them myself. And… even though I wanted to forget it all I also wanted to remember it. Maybe to… torment myself, I don’t know. But the main reason was that it happened around the same time I had you; if I forgot that… then I would forget you too.”

You felt tears run down your face. “Oh, Eddie,” you whispered, hugging him harder.

“My first album was about drugs, but not to honor them, more like to spread awareness. I made one song in honor of Chrissy on that one. But I felt bad about that too.”

“Why?” you wondered, stroking his cheek.

“Because it was in honor of her and not you. And that felt wrong as well, because she died. You were alive, but… you are my true love, the only one I ever loved. Yet I didn’t dare write about you in a way people would understand, or you would understand if you heard the songs. I…”

You ran your fingers through his hair, leaning in to kiss his nose. “I actually never listened to many of your songs. It hurt too much. But… when Wayne had told me everything last night I looked online and listened to the songs of your first record. It all made sense.”

It had. You remembered the name of the songs clearly.

That was the record where Eddie had made a remake of Metallica’s Master of Puppets, which had earned him his title in the music business. Metallica themselves had even said the song belonged to Eddie, even though they had written it.

The rest of the songs followed the same theme, all of them having some kind of connection to drugs.

Crack of the whip

Mother’s little helpers

Thy will be done (You had understand that that was in honor of Chrissy and her nickname as being the ‘queen of Hawkins high’)

Soaring on the dragon’s wings

Toasting with demons

Dark (Mary) Jane

Dead men tell no tales

Break the habit

“I know what Jason told you,” you said, returning to the conversation at hand, wanting him to know you understood his actions back then. “But that was a long time ago. He wont hurt us now, would he?”

Eddie shook his head. “He may still hold a grudge agianst me, but he’s a loser who peaked in high school. I’m not the defenseless freak I was back then. I can protect us both now. For the last years, my biggest fear in reaching out to you has been that you… you would see me as a killer. Then… then I heard through the grapewine that you had met someone else and I figured… you had moved on and it was time to let you go. It was only when I got your letter I understood that you couldn’t move on. Just like I couldn’t.”

“I didn’t,” you agreed, shaking your head. “Brent was… he was a good man but he never made me feel like you did. I still thought about you for at least thirty seconds every day and I realized that wasn’t right to him. That’s when I decided to write that letter to you.”

“I’m glad you did. I’m just… I’m sorry that I hurt you so badly. And everyone else. But I was terrified that Jason would come after you. Anyone of you. He had more power as a teenager than he does now, now that his old man is dead.”

You nodded. “I understand. It doesn’t mean I’m still not upset about it. I wish… I wish you could’ve just talked to me. But I also understand that you felt the need to protect more people than me – Wayne, for example. He needed that job, he barely made ends met even with it.”

Eddie pulled you close, kissing your forehead.

“That was why I started to sell drugs in the first place, you remember?”

Of course you did.

Then

Hawkins, 1984

Eddie

Eddie was concerned. He had turned eighteen a few weeks back, but he had also understood that he would have to repeat his senior year, because his grades hadn’t been good enough to graduate. In a way he was almost glad about that – it meant he would spend the next year with Y/N and they would graduate together.

He had another problem though; it was clear Wayne was struggling with bills. At first he didn’t understand but then it hit him. The child support. The one his dad was paying – or more accurately, his lawyer, since his dad was in prison – had dried up because now he was legally an adult.

Eddie had tried to find a part time job for a long time, wanting to help Wayne in any way he could. But no one wanted to hire the town freak.

That’s why in desperation he visited his dad’s old pal, Reefer Rick, and wondered if he needed another hand with his side business.

He felt ashamed of himself, even before he made the suggestion. Eddie had never wanted to follow in his dad’s footsteps, but he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Wayne had done so much for him already – and technically he had no obligation to support Eddie after he had turned eighteen. Especially since Eddie wouldn’t graduate high school this year and at least have a diploma to show for it when he looked for jobs.

No, he needed to pull his own weight, and who knows – perhaps it would even give him enough money to help Wayne, pay him back for everything he had done for him?

Rick was symphatetic. “I could need another seller. Nothing hard core, I take care of that myself. Just weed. The occasional prescription pill. Maybe K . Ketamine,” he clarified when he saw Eddie’s confused glance.

“You buy it from me, half price. Sell it on your own terms to your customers, keep the difference.”

Eddie nodded. He had no choice.

“Okay,” he said. “Would… would it be okay if I pay for this batch later?”

Rick smiled again. “This one’s on me, kid. I know how hard it is when you can’t pay your bills. Why do you think I am where I am?”

Eddie couldn’t help but snort. “Seems you’ve gotten it pretty good from where I stand.”

Rick had a nice house, a boathouse connected to the house, filled with fishing gear and even a boat. Didn’t seem like he was struggling.

Rick barked a laugh. “And I am how old, son? I’ve been in this business for years. The pay off will come, just not immediately.”

“Well… if I’m lucky I won’t need to continue this until I’m your age,” Eddie say, accepting the bag with the pot as he got up.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Rick told him with a shake of his head. “That’s what I did. But sooner or later, this becomes your glue.”

“Glue?”

“Yes. Like the glue from tape you can’t scratch off. There will always be something you need, some bill that can’t wait, some favor your owe… and the drug trade will never disappoint. Because there is always the poor bastards that needs the wares, just like we need the money.”

Never, Eddie thought as he left Rick’s house. Yes, he would do it for now. Until he and Y/N graduated and they could leave this dump of a town that had been stuck in time since the 1950s.

He was just worried about how Y/N would react to him starting to sell drugs.

Eddie hadn’t need to worry though. No, Y/N wasn’t thrilled that he was going to sell drugs but she also knew that life wasn’t the rainbow fairy tale it was made out to be. Sometimes you just needed to do what you could to survive.

“As long as it isn’t any hard drugs, those that can kill people easily and get them addicted from the first batch,” she begged him and he agreed.

And he had kept that promise. But as he was to find out two years later, circumstances could be more powerful than promises.

taglist: @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @mewchiili @melodymunson @ches-86 @jenniquinn @eddiemunsonfuxks @stolen-in-moonlight @alastorssimp @pandemoniusstuff

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please, like, comment and reblog!

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#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #older!eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things au #joseph quinn #v's writing #true love of mine

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lum13 · 2 years ago

Note

is it possible for a Wednesday x Reader where Wednesday meets Reader again and she thought reader died long ago but is actually alive and reader helps Wednesday in her investigations? (Reader actually died but made a bargain at some deity or something and Reader protects Wednesday from Thornhill from a gunshot and before Reader disappears, Wednesday confesses her love for reader for the first and last time)

The ghost of you

“You’re not real.”

You smiled softly.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

Wednesday Addams x fem! Reader

Looking up from her typewriter, her orbs met yours. Moonlight tracing her skin, she has never been more beautiful.

“I’m back,” You said, “Did you miss me?”

A pause. She stared blankly, before getting back to her novel again.

“I thought I told you to get out of my head.” She replied– her face remaining unchanged.

“Too bad.” You giggled softly, “I’m not inside your head.”

“You died six years ago.” Wednesday snapped, her lips turning into a scowl. You pursed your lips, your eyebrows knitted in a thin line.

“I'm back now.” You tried, but was silenced by a glare. Your eyes averted, you drowned in a mix of guilt, pain, and everything else. Though those feelings screamed otherwise, you smiled bitterly, locking eyes with the raven haired girl.

“Stop trying to make me delusional.” She growled.

“Deny all you want, Wednesday. I’m not dead.” You chuckled, bringing yourself closer, leaning on the desk. “I’m living, can’t you see?”

She didn’t want to admit it. She wasn’t going to admit it. She didn’t want to go through all of it again– she didn’t want to go through the heartbreak again.

She loved you, but the universe seemed to prefer the two of you apart.

“I saw that marking on the statue.” You commented, peeking over, alarming the raven haired girl. “In the hallways? You know what statue I’m talking about, right? Uh, Edgar Allen?”

Wednesday took her moment to compose herself, before turning to look at you.

“Why are you still stuck in my head?” She said, shutting her book close. “I thought I had gotten rid of you.”

“I’m not in your head.” You whined, burying your face into your hands. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

“No matter how many times you repeat that false statement, I will not believe it.”

You sighed, before giving up. This girl can not be convinced, you realized.

“You could’ve just said a thank you.” You raised your brows, huffing.

“I don’t thank ghosts.” She claimed, crossing her arms. She scanned your standing figure, before turning back to the stacks of books on the bookshelves. “Be thankful you have your feet. Most don’t.”

You gasped, seemingly offended by her remark. You clutched your chest dramatically, “I’m hurt, Wednesday addams. You think I’m a ghost now.”

The girl scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Because you are.” She said, before grabbing her things to leave you alone in the library. You watched her growing smaller as the distance between you two enlarged, sighing.

It wasn’t her fault. It was your fault– you and your stupid younger self.

“I never knew that ghosts party, too.”

Your lips curved upwards at the familiar voice. “Hello to you too, Wednesday.”

You felt the tilt of the couch from the girl’s weight as she sat beside you. Faint music played in the background, making you hum to the melody. You leaned back sleepily, sinking in the chilly atmosphere.

“Why are you here?” You heard her say.

You lifted your head to scan the girl’s form. Her hair was tied up, out of her usual braid. Her dress fit her perfectly– she was magnificent.

“Ghosts party too.” You grinned, swaying your legs in the air. You could feel her glare, but decided not to bother.

“Who are you with?” You asked.

“Elaborate.”

“Your partner. Who is it?”

The girl paused, as if hesitant to give an answer. “Tyler.”

“Ah, the weathervane boy.” You giggled, tucking your hair behind your ears. “Do you like him?”

“No.” Wednesday said swiftly, too fast for her liking. “No. I don’t.”

You hummed in reply, wrapping your arm around yourself. You sighed– you were tired. You were tired and wanted to sleep more than anything else. Being in this party sucked all your energy.

“I recommend not to. He has a bad vibe.” You muttered, before drifting off to sleep. It probably isn't the best choice to fall asleep here, but you didn’t really care about anything at this point.

It’ll work out, you figured.

“What if Xavier isn’t the murderer?”

Wednesday glanced at you– lying down on her bed, facing the ceiling as you played with your sleeves.

“He is.” She replied simply, dusting her leather jacket, grabbing her flashlight from her desk.

“He might not be.” You said, “Always think of the variables.”

“If he’s not the killer, we’ll have to do it over.” She said, “Find out who’s behind all this.”

She stared at herself in the mirror, before her eyes flickered back to you.

“Hopefully we get it right.”

“--but at least I’ll get to kill you, Wednesday.”

You watched in horror as the scene emerged before your eyes. With Thornhill’s gun pointed to the raven haired girl’s head, you felt yourself freeze, panic washing over you.

Run, your mind screamed, run and save her.

But your feet stayed planted on the ground. You couldn’t do anything– you couldn’t do anything.

Bang of the gun rang through the school.

Are you really going to let it happen again?

Your feet moved on their own. You tackled the girl out of the way, a piercing pain following.

The excruciating pain made it hard to breathe. Were you even breathing? You couldn’t tell. Blood stained your uniform, the red blooming from your collarbone– slowly reaching out. You heard muffled gasps and screams, though it was hard to form words due to your extreme pain.

Then you saw Wednesday– her eyes wide and round, shaking your shoulders, desperate to keep you awake. Her mouth was moving– what was she saying?

Then you saw it.

I love you.

You felt the stinging of the tears threatening to come out. It didn’t take long for it to drop.

Familiar feelings of guilt stabbed you in your heart. I’m sorry, you wanted to say.

I’m sorry for making you go through it again.

You closed your eyes, letting darkness take over.

Maybe in the next life, you can be happy together.

Maybe in the next life, the universe would let the two of you be.

Oh, how you hoped it would be true.

don’t we hate angst.. :)

also not proofread bc it’s like 4am in Korea rn I am this close to falling asleep

#Wednesday Addams x reader #Wednesday Addams x you #wednesday addams #jenna Ortega x reader

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marimitozpen · 1 year ago

Text

how to find a family and yourself, too

Summary: He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is.

Or, Zoro realizes he is not as cis as he thinks he is, and that the crew doesn’t care, and that he really loves his family.

★★★★★★★★★★

Hi! This fic was originally uploaded to ao3 exactly two years ago today, and in honor of its second birthday I wanted to crosspost to tumblr. This is the only fic I've ever uploaded, and I wrote it as a way to process the fact that I am agender. A lot of Zoro's thoughts and feelings are based on my own. I know there's not a market for agender Zoro, but I know that this fic helped people from my ao3 comments. The original fic is under a different name, and I went through and edited this one before crossposting, because I have improved over the past two years. Anyways, enjoy!

*slight spoilers up to and including fishman island*

★★★★★★★★★★

The first time it happens, Zoro is ten years old.

The day isn’t going well, anyways. Zoro has been training tirelessly at the Isshin Dojo for an entire year already, dedicating all he has into finally defeating Kuina. She is his last obstacle, and just that day, she had beaten him in their 2,000th match. 2,000 times, Zoro had taken up the bamboo swords, and 2,000 times Kuina had struck him down. She’s still so far away, this unreachable pillar that Zoro just can’t defeat, no matter how hard he tries. Zoro is at his wits end, trying to understand how he is ever going to get out of this dojo, how he is ever going to move forward.

It’s hopeless, really. How could Zoro ever hope to become the greatest when he can’t even defeat the girl in front of him?

So, he takes up his swords, real ones made of steel and sharp enough to slice anything, and challenges Kuina. He finds her outside, sitting by the side of the road, and starts yelling. “I plan to make this our last fight, I’m going to end this! Fight me with a real sword!”

It is exhilarating , the most exciting thing in Zoro’s short life up to this point. Bamboo swords and sparring do not compare to the thrill of putting your life on the line, the danger of getting hurt for real, the scent of steel and sparks in the air. Kuina is just as difficult to defeat as ever, always faster or stronger than him. Zoro’s arms ache from the weight of the swords, and Kuina teases him, and she still manages to toss him in the air like a ragdoll. Their 2,001st match; Zoro’s 2,001st loss. The weight of the defeat is crushing, and as much as Zoro doesn’t want to, he starts to tear up.

But then, for reasons Zoro just can not understand, Kuina tells him that he shouldn’t cry. She tells him that eventually, just because she is a girl, she will start to get weaker. That she won’t be taken seriously. That just because of her gender, she can never be the strongest .

It makes Zoro feel a lot of emotions, a lot of which he can’t really decipher right now. If Kuina is giving up on being the greatest for some stupid reason like being a girl, where does that leave Zoro? All of his training so far has been just to defeat her, and here she is, saying she was just going to lose someday. What about all of this strength I’ve worked for? Zoro thinks. What about the strength you worked for? Does it all just disappear, because you grew up and that makes you weaker?

There was something else, too, something a lot harder to put words to. Just as Kuina is accepting defeat because she was a girl, she’s basically telling Zoro that he’s destined to win because he was a man. He’s everything she wishes she was, born to be stronger and faster and naturally more talented, and Zoro just can’t stand it. It feels like an unbelievable weight on his shoulders, just another thing he has to work for and grow into. Who says I have to be a man like that? Why does it matter? None of this matters, just our training!

Zoro finally gives Kuina a piece of his mind, yelling about the things that were easier for him to understand. He tells her that when the day comes that he finally beats her, it will be because he worked for it and earned his own strength, not because of her gender. And that she can’t just give up on being the greatest, because he is going to surpass her. Kuina smiles at him, and under the moonlight, they make a promise. One of us will become the world’s greatest swordsman.

Zoro gets everything out that night, but he still goes to bed feeling like something was wrong. But how could he explain the sinking feeling in his stomach, the gut instinct that Kuina was wrong? He’s already gotten her to agree that her strength and training were more important than something like her gender, so why does he still feel so odd?

She just… told me I was a man. I never thought about it until now, but am I? What does that mean? Does that mean beating Kuina, becoming the strongest? Zoro’s thoughts run wild for a minute, and he lets them, before he thinks about how swordsmanship was mind as well as body. Whatever was happening, it didn’t matter, it was just a bump in the road. He just decides that Kuina was what made a man, that if gender matters so much, he’ll just earn his when he beats her. It’s simple enough, and Zoro finally drifts to sleep.

He never gets the chance to beat Kuina. The next day, his world comes crashing down. Kuina had died, slipped down the stairs and away. Forever out of Zoro’s reach.

It was really, really hard to accept for a long, long time. Zoro throws himself into his training, trying to ignore the way he could still see her out of the corners of his eyes, focused only on becoming stronger so that he could live up to their promise. Zoro never settles for anything less than the best, and now he has to carry Kuina’s dream, too.

Kuina’s father hands over her sword, and it feels heavy with expectation but perfectly balanced in Zoro’s small hands. Carrying along Kuina’s legacy was still difficult sometimes, but sometimes he feels like having someone there with him makes it easier. Zoro pushes forward, both striving to surpass Kuina and to bring her along with him.

Zoro doesn’t think about his weird feelings from that night again for a long time. It’s easy to ignore in the monotony of the dojo – he doesn’t stand out from the other kids in anything but strength. They all wear the same uniforms, sleep in piles on the floor, train and live and fight together. Zoro pushes himself a little beyond what was reasonable sometimes, but that’s all just training to become the strongest. Some days, the pressure he feels is so overwhelming that every “he” he hears stings, but that’s okay. He can ignore it.

He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is. He doesn’t get to seriously question it again until nine years later, when Zoro finds himself as one member of a two-member pirate crew, sailing away from a Marine base and on to something new.

----------

Zoro wakes up to Luffy singing, loud and bright and right in Zoro’s ear. Zoro doesn’t regret joining up, because he can tell this kid is going to take him far, but he also really wants to sleep right now. He’s not made of rubber, he can’t just bounce back into place after being injured the way his new captain can. Zoro cracks one eye open and turns his head in Luffy’s direction, intent on giving the younger boy a piece of his mind.

Instead, his eyes fall on Luffy’s chest. Luffy’s vest is open, and there are two long, thin cuts on either side of his chest. They look old, already healed, but Zoro still panics.

“Luffy, your chest! Did you get hurt back at the Marine base? Why didn’t you tell anyone!” he shouts, sitting up as quickly as he can.

Luffy just cocks his head, looking terribly confused. Then, as if a lightbulb has gone off in his head, he smiles. “Oh, are you talking about my scars?”

Zoro nods, swallowing. Those scars look painful , and Zoro is kinda shocked that Luffy is being so nonchalant about all of this. He is pulled out of his thoughts by laughter.

“I got surgery a year ago! Pretty cool, right? I told Gramps I wouldn’t become a Marine unless I got it, so he paid for me to have surgery, then I became a pirate anyways. I sure showed him, huh?”

Zoro’s head is spinning. He doesn’t know who Gramps is or why he wanted Luffy to become a Marine, and he still doesn’t know why Luffy got this surgery. His confusion must be clear on his face, because Luffy starts explaining again.

“Are you confused on why I got the surgery?” he asks gently. Zoro nods.

“It’s cause I’m trans!” Luffy announces with a grin. “Do you know what that is?”

Zoro shakes his head at that. Is this something I should know? he thinks, but Luffy is quick to dispel his worry.

“Don’t worry, lots of people don’t know! I didn’t even know for a long time. Basically, it means I wasn’t born as a boy. My brain and my heart always said I was a boy, even though my body didn’t. So I had to change my body to match.”

Luffy’s explanation makes sense to Zoro, but he still feels confused, although for a different reason. Not born as a boy… Zoro just didn’t know that was something that could happen. He is silent for a long time, and Luffy just starts humming beside him. Zoro thinks he might recognize the tune.

After a long time, Luffy finally speaks up again. “Zoro, you’re… okay with it, right?”

Zoro startles a bit, then processes Luffy’s question. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

Luffy shrugs, one hand playing with the brim of his straw hat. “I dunno… it’s just that some people aren’t. You went all silent on me, I didn’t know what you were thinking.”

Zoro smiles at Luffy. It’s weird, because smiles used to be rare for Zoro, but it seems like his captain is able to draw them out of him so easily. “It’s okay, captain. I was just thinking about something else.”

Luffy laughs again. The sun is dipping lower on the horizon, washing their boat in shades of orange and purple, but Luffy’s face is as bright as the sun. “That’s good, cause I would’ve had to fight you if you weren’t okay with it.” He sways a little where he sits, coming to rest with his head on Zoro’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna fight my crew. That’s not what nakama’s for.”

Zoro just looks ahead, still deep in thought. He is vaguely aware of Luffy falling asleep on his shoulder, but for some reason, he doesn’t push the boy off. He just sits, thinking. Not born as a man… so how did you know, then? Did someone tell you that you were a man, just like Kuina told me?

What does all of this mean? I never just… felt like a man, I had to make myself feel like one. So am I a woman, then? Is that an option? Zoro’s racing mind halts for a second as he considers this train of thought. He snorts as he realizes how stupid it is. Okay, definitely not a woman. I guess this is what Luffy felt, then. Just not a woman.

It all starts to make a little more sense to Zoro. If all it takes to be a man is just not being a woman, then Zoro has that down pat. The rest will be easy. And yet, Zoro still feels strange. It feels like a door is opening up to him. Something is starting to change, and he can’t tell what yet.

----------

Zoro hates Sanji the moment he sets eyes on him. The cook is pretentious, starting a fight with a Marine over some soup, and Zoro can’t stand how preachy Sanji is. Then, he starts getting all flirty with Nami, which also pisses Zoro off. This Sanji guy is a real idiot, and if Zoro didn’t respect Luffy so much, he would be really worried about this guy joining the crew.

But there’s something else about Sanji that irks Zoro, something he can’t quite put his finger on. He could go on for days about how Sanji is loud, and rude, and stuck-up, and stupid; but it feels like Zoro is skirting around some other issue. Luffy and Zoro are just as loud and rude, and according to Nami they’re even dumber than Sanji. Most of these qualities don’t even bother Zoro, so why does Sanji just have this way of pushing all of Zoro’s buttons?

After a few weeks and a few run-ins with death (and a very valuable reality check for Zoro), Zoro begrudgingly accepts Sanji’s presence on the crew. He has to admit, the other man is damn good in a fight, both as an ally and as an opponent. He’s also a very, very good cook, but Zoro would never tell him that. He doesn’t need Sanji’s ego getting any bigger, the thing is already threatening to sink the Merry.

But Sanji still pisses Zoro off to no end.

The two of them get along like a house on fire. They will argue about anything and everything, much to Luffy’s amusement and Nami and Usopp’s chagrin. Zoro will insult the cook’s stupid eyebrows and Sanji will insult Zoro’s unusual hair color, and they will exchange blows just as often as they have each other’s backs. It makes things slightly tense, but still interesting.

Sanji is everything Zoro hates about men, Zoro realizes one day. He is cocky and rude and he pushes himself onto women, he is over-the-top and annoying and oh so performative. Zoro can’t stand him, because he’s everything Zoro’s not and he’s everything Zoro doesn’t ever want to be and he’s so damn loud about it.

This realization does absolutely nothing to remedy Zoro and Sanji’s relationship. Zoro is not only mad at Sanji at this point, he’s just as mad at himself for realizing what Sanji is and what he’s doing and feeling threatened by it. Seriously, Zoro has no reason to be questioning himself right now, and yet Sanji just manages to get under his skin and make him actually think. Zoro doesn’t like thinking all that much, he much prefers actions.

It makes Zoro wonder why Sanji is like this and how exactly his masculinity or whatever has the power to make Zoro so mad. It has Zoro questioning his own masculinity, because he is so different from Sanji so how can he be sure he’s doing it right? It makes Zoro think about his place on the crew, because it used to be easy; there was Luffy, the captain; then Zoro, then Usopp and Nami. Now there’s Sanji, and he has the potential to be Zoro’s equal in terms of strength, and Zoro just feels so strange about all of this.

Zoro deals with it the way he deals with all of his non-physical problems: he ignores it. If Zoro can’t slice through a problem, it simply can’t be solved, from his point of view. Not that he doesn’t try slicing through Sanji, but the cook is quick enough to put up a fight. And besides, Luffy would probably be pretty upset if Zoro hurt or killed his beloved cook.

The two of them continue to fight, and Zoro might even be starting more fights on purpose now, because he’s just angry with himself and Sanji and what better way to take it out? Eventually Nami puts some sort of stop on it and gives them both a stern talking-to, but that’s only because Sanji can’t say no to her and she’s threatening to raise Zoro’s debt if he keeps starting unnecessary fights. This doesn’t end the fighting entirely, not by a long shot, but at least some semblance of peace returns to their small ship. If Sanji were gone , Zoro thinks, peace could return entirely. But unfortunately, Sanji is there to stay, and he is there to be a thorn in Zoro’s side for the entire rest of their journey.

----------

Zoro did not expect to be literally facing his past when he woke up this morning and departed the ship to explore Loguetown, but here he is. Staring into the face of a dead girl who is shouting words at him that he hasn’t heard in almost a decade, and Zoro just feels so many things he might not be able to handle it.

Tashigi has been popping up around Zoro all day; he saw her on the street and accidentally broke her glasses, she dragged him to the Marine base for chores, he escaped but met her again at the swords shop, she finally recognized him and chased him down. And here they are, standing in the rain, as she taunts him.

As if it weren’t bad enough that she’s forcing her stupid ideal of justice on him, insulting his bond with his sword because he’s a “criminal” or whatever, Tashigi starts repeating the words that Kuina shouted that day all those years ago. She seems insulted that Zoro isn’t taking her seriously, interprets it not as an offense to her own skill, but an attack on her gender. Kuina’s face and Kuina’s words… it’s all too much for Zoro.

“Is it because I’m a woman?” Tashigi screams. “You view me as weak, you won’t finish me off! Take me seriously! You don’t understand what it’s like, to wish you were born a boy!” She’s so loud and so pushy and Zoro finally just snaps. He whirls around and starts yelling back, even though he knows it’s childish.

“Everything about you pisses me off! You have the same face as my close friend who died years ago, and then you start shouting the same things as she does! Give me a break, you copycat!” Zoro breathes in, and Tashigi starts arguing back, but Zoro continues. “I’ll tell you what I told her; your gender has nothing to do with it, only your skill and mine. And if I didn’t take you seriously, take that as an offense to your skill, because I held back because you were weak! Don’t blame it on gender!”

Tashigi just stands there, staring at him. It’s clear she’s never been talked to like this; her jaw is hanging open and Zoro is pretty sure that there’s tears mixing in with the rain on her cheeks. He scowls at her, then turns back to go find his captain, leaving her in the dust.

Later, when Zoro is back on the ship, he starts to think a bit more about what Tashigi said. It brings back everything from the night of Kuina’s death; the confusion and the anger and the weird, unplaceable feeling that Zoro was sure he suppressed but is coming back to rear its ugly head. What is it about swordswomen and their ability to shake me up like this? Zoro thinks to himself, allowing himself to just wallow in his confusion for a few seconds. He then stands up, shakes himself off, and decides he must become stronger, so he can get past this stupid gender stuff.

Of course, he can’t fully relax yet, because Nami is approaching. “Thinking over there, Zoro? I don’t see you doing that often,” she teases. Zoro flips her off.

“Awww, c’mon, don’t be like that. Tell me everything! I’m a great problem solver, you know.” She encourages as she sits down on the deck and pulls Zoro down next to her. And Zoro really doesn’t want to tell her anything, but… they’re cooped up on a ship and Nami is the only woman here so maybe she will at least have some perspective on this whole thing?

“I just got in a really weird fight today, with one of the Marines. After I defeated her she started yelling about how I wasn’t taking her seriously just because she’s a woman. It reminded me of my childhood friend, she used to say the same thing. It’s strange, because I don’t think about who my opponent is when I fight them, only their skill.” Zoro explains. His voice sounds weak and it hits Zoro that this is really stupid, but he’s already said it so there’s not much he can do now.

Nami hums as she thinks. “Well, she’s probably feeling insecure a little bit. All women are used to being underestimated. Some of us, like me,” Nami accentuates her statement by pointing to herself, “like to use it to our advantage. I’ve got Sanji-kun wrapped around my finger, you know? Just because I’m a girl.” She pauses, then looks at Zoro before starting her next point.

“Well, I guess some women don’t view it the same way. They want to be seen as equals, instead of having to constantly prove themselves by exceeding expectations. I guess that Marine and your friend are both like that, they see that you’re not taking them seriously and they think it’s because you’re underestimating them. But if it’s just because of their skill, like you say, then there’s not much you can do other than ignore them.” Nami pats his shoulder. “Got that, stupid?”

“Yeah,” Zoro grumbles, not rising to the bait for once. “Although Kuina, my friend… I never underestimated her. She was always stronger than me. I never once beat her in a fight.”

If Nami notices the use of past tense, she doesn’t comment on it. “I’m sure I would’ve liked her, if she could take you down a peg,” Nami laughs. She leaves a little while later, and Zoro is kinda glad he had this talk. He’s still a bit swamped by the weird feelings, but at least the other things are starting to make a little more sense.

----------

“Hey Robin, whatcha readin?”

The response from the crew is instantaneous. Everyone who is on deck, Zoro included, falls silent and stares. Zoro himself sits up from where he was sprawled across the deck to watch as his captain leans over Robin’s shoulder to inspect the book she has laying open on the table.

He thinks he heard about this happening once before, of Luffy showing an interest in Robin’s books, and that the crew had been just as shocked then. It’s just that books and Luffy… they don’t really go together. Luffy has been listening in to some of Robin’s story times and she is more than happy to read out loud for some of her younger crewmates, but it’s rare that Luffy is the one to show interest.

“Oh, it’s a book about different identities. It’s rather interesting, do you want me to read it to you?” Robin hardly seems phased by Luffy’s sudden interest, taking it in stride. She’s always happy to indulge her captain on his more tame shenanigans.

Luffy shakes his head. “Nah, the pictures just caught my attention.” At this, most of the crew lets out a collective sigh. Nami goes back to watering her flowers, and Usopp and Chopper start making noise on the upper deck again. Sanji prattles away in the kitchen and Franky stays below deck, neither of them having heard the initial question. Zoro wants to keep watching, for some reason. Luffy hooks his arm over Robin’s shoulder, fingers running across the page. “Like this one! The colors are pretty. What’s it mean?”

Robin smiles, and it is unlike the smiles Zoro has seen from her up to this point. “That flag represents transgender people, Captain. Do you know what that is?”

Now it is Luffy’s turn to smile, the toothy grin taking up his whole face. “Like me!” he exclaims cheerfully.

Robin looks shocked for a second before she reigns her expression in. Zoro thinks this is the first time he’s seen her smile with teeth. “I’m like that too, Captain,” she replies. “How funny that we should meet on this broad sea.”

Luffy is positively beaming at this point. He finally pulls up a chair and sits across from Robin. He is gesturing excitedly as he speaks, telling Robin it is so cool that they met and that he’s never met another person like himself before. Zoro smiles a little, in spite of himself. It’s nice to hear his captain so happy, and seeing Robin smiling fondly isn’t so bad either. He is about to drift back to sleep when Luffy is suddenly calling to him.

“Zoro, hey Zoro! You should come look too! This book is so cool, they have a flag for everything!” Zoro cracks one eye open to glare at his captain. Robin is giggling from behind her hand.

Zoro sighs. Yes, it’s nice that his captain is taking interest in a somewhat quiet activity, and that Robin is opening up a little too. But to be honest, Zoro has no interest in the book himself. He figures that nothing in there is going to apply to him, since he already realized he’s not like his captain or Robin.

“I think that the swordsman wants to sleep, Captain.” Oh, nice save Robin! Zoro makes a mental note to thank her later. Luffy protests a little, grumbling something about how all Zoro does is sleep, but he’s drawn back into the book when Robin flips the page.

“Robin, look, this one looks like Zoro,” Luffy comments. Robin agrees, telling him that those colors do look a lot like Zoro’s hair color and outfit. Zoro can still feel Luffy’s gaze on him, but he ignores it. He closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep for real, this time.

----------

Zoro wakes up in a bed in a room he does not recognize. Not that he’s never done that before, but it seems different this time. Zoro shouldn’t be here.

The last thing he remembers is running for his life. Zoro had been gravely injured, and there was an admiral and all these robots, and they really stood no chance…

The weird, spongy, not-earth of the Sabaody Archipelago is making it hard to run. Zoro’s legs ache and he’s sure he’s reopened several of his wounds. It took a serious joint effort just to take down that one Kuma robot, and Zoro isn’t honestly sure he has it in him to take on any more. He hates feeling so weak, but of course he couldn’t have changed the outcome of Thriller Bark. Zoro would gladly do it again to save his captain.

Still, this is a very bad situation, and no time for reminiscing. Zoro has crewmates to protect, and he has robots to escape. Of course, it is then that the real Kuma shows up. He quips about Zoro still being alive, and Zoro gives him the best answer he can in the moment. Of course, he does owe Kuma in a way, but the man still poses a huge threat.

Zoro’s lungs ache and his legs are about to give out. His arms are weak, he can’t do anything to save himself. He is aware of people yelling, trying to save him, but it’s too late. Kuma raises one huge, ungloved paw and swings it. Zoro’s world fades away immediately.

That’s the last thing Zoro remembers, so how the hell did he get here? He can feel bandages covering his skin, but they are not wrapped with the professionalism and care that Chopper’s usually are, which tells him that he’s no longer with his crewmates. He wonders what happened to them and starts panicking, bolting out of bed to start taking in his surroundings.

Then, he sees her out of the corner of his eye. The weird ghost girl from Thriller Bark, what was her name again? Perfume, or something?

“It’s Perona, you dumbass!” she shouts. Oh, so Zoro said that out loud then.

She explains to him that he came down in a bubble and how it was part of Kuma’s power. She doesn’t know where they are, but she bandaged him up the best she could, and he really needs to wait and rest before he does anything stupid.

Zoro doesn’t listen, of course. He’s not so weak and helpless that he can just lay in bed when his crew probably needs him, when his captain probably needs him. He just keeps going out and getting into fights with the weird monkeys that inhabit the island, pissing Perona off and injuring himself further.

A few days later, Mihawk shows up to tell Zoro about the war, and this is probably the worst Zoro has ever felt. To think, while he was out here unable to defeat some stupid baboons, his captain was fighting in a war and losing his only brother in such a horrific way. Zoro is useless, useless, useless, and he’s so weak it hurts.

Then he gets the orders: stay where you are. You have two years. Get stronger. It’s painful, but it’s simple and it’s what needs to be done. It makes Zoro’s heart ache that he can’t be there to comfort his captain, but he quickly decides that he will spend these two years getting stronger so that he won’t miss this kind of situation again. Better yet, there won’t be one at all. After some begging, Mihawk agrees to take him in, and Zoro throws himself into his training.

It is slightly reminiscent of his time at the dojo. At the time, Zoro’s need to become the strongest was so that he could carry on Kuina’s will and achieve their dream. But now, Zoro has people, a family , he wants to protect. The training is grueling and bloody and mind-numbing, and Zoro wouldn’t have it any other way. He loses sight of everything other than his goal and his crew, the two things he is doing everything for. Two years, and Zoro will be strong enough so that nothing has to happen to hurt the Straw Hats again.

----------

Zoro has to admit, being back with the crew after two years of separation is really, really nice. Two years apart was far too long. He had missed everyone, even that stupid cook, and he missed being on the ocean. He understands why they spent two years apart, and everyone is much stronger for it, but he is glad that those years are behind them.

Just making it off of Sabaody was an ordeal. Luffy manages to attract trouble everywhere he goes, though, so the crew is used to this. Zoro almost missed the nonstop action and the daily near-death experiences, but action is not the only part of a pirate’s life. Zoro loves just being on the Sunny, surrounded by his crew – his family – exchanging stories about their training over the past two years.

Zoro learns where everyone spent their two years: Luffy trained with Rayleigh, Chopper mastered all of his forms and learned a lot about medicine, Brook went on tour but still managed to strengthen his skills. Robin mentions something about staying with Luffy’s family in the Revolutionary Army, and it seems innocent enough except for the fact that Robin is wearing her “I know something you don’t” smile. It’s easily brushed off though, because Robin says she can’t share classified information.

Zoro is not really one to give praise, but he does compliment Usopp for surviving two years on an island that was literally trying to eat him. Seriously, Usopp has developed a lot since Zoro last saw him, and he seems a lot more confident than the insecure liar they picked up in Syrup Village so long ago.

Everyone seems a lot more confident, actually. Robin is smiling much more, Chopper is so much more enthusiastic than he’s ever been, and the cook seems weirdly relaxed for once. Zoro hadn’t noticed it much in Sabaody, but the cook seems… different, somehow. He isn’t quite as pushy as he had been in the past, and his mere presence isn’t aggravating Zoro the way it used to.

Zoro gets his explanation soon enough. Sanji is second to last to share his adventures from the last two years, and he takes a shaky breath before doing so. Robin, sitting next to Sanji, places one hand on his back and gives him an encouraging nod.

“I spent my two years on Momoiro Island.” Sanji starts. He is met with mostly blank stares, except from Nami, who raises her eyebrows. Sanji scans their reactions before he continues.

“So the island is home to a huge community of LGBT people, who wanted to create a place where they could exist without judgement. They’re led by Emporio Ivankov of the Revolutionary Army. I actually got to see Robin a few times over those years, because she visited the island on business once or twice. Ah, but that’s besides the point…”

Sanji trails off, still acting nervous. Luckily for him, Luffy interrupts. “I remember Iva-chan! He was so nice! Did he train you, Sanji?”

Sanji whips his head in Luffy’s direction so quickly that Zoro thinks it might fly off. “You think he was nice?”

“Yeah, he saved my life,” Luffy says matter-of-factly.

Sanji shakes his head. “That… doesn’t matter right now. Yes, he trained my cooking and my fighting abilities, but he also made me learn a lot more about myself. Like, that my views on the world and people in the LGBT community were really outdated. And… that I’m genderfluid.”

“Great for you, bro!” Franky congratulates, tears already forming in his eyes. “What does that mean, though?”

Sanji laughs, Franky’s antics lightening the mood for all of them. “I just don’t feel like a man all the time. Sometimes, I feel like a woman, or sometimes I feel like I’m somewhere in between. It changes all the time. Oh, and I use any pronouns now.”

Franky nods, and Usopp also nods along with one hand on his chin. “Right, I get it, but what are pronouns?” Usopp asks.

“It’s like he, she, they. You can use any of them to refer to me, just make sure to use all of them at different points. It’s not great if I’m hearing only ‘he’ all the time.”

Zoro can practically see the steam coming from Luffy’s ears as he processes this. Finally, Luffy speaks. “So, is it like, ‘this is Sanji, they are my cook, and they make the best food ever?’” he asks before looking between Sanji and Robin with an expectant look on his face. Robin giggles softly, and Sanji smiles.

“Yeah, just like that. Or ‘Sanji is my cook, she makes the best food ever.’ You can use any of them,” they assure their captain.

Luffy smiles wide and laughs. “Okay, I get it now! Thank you Sanji!”

After Luffy, everyone else offers thei support and congratulations. Nami, Robin, and Chopper each wrap Sanji up in a tight hug, while Brook and Usopp remind Sanji that he’s always a valued member of the crew. Franky continues crying because of how much strength it must have taken for Sanji to come out.

Zoro… Zoro doesn’t really react. He nods at the cook when she looks his way, but Zoro doesn’t really know what to say. He’s confused, too, because he doesn’t really know what feeling like a man or woman is like, and he’s never even heard about that “somewhere in between” that Sanji was talking about earlier.

The rest of the crew moves on quickly. Zoro is the only one left who hasn’t shared his whereabouts, and he knows the crew will enjoy this. Not only was Zoro staying with and training under his greatest rival, but that ghost girl too. As expected, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper get a kick out of that. Zoro pushes his worries about Sanji’s coming out to the back of his mind and focuses on enjoying his time with his family before Luffy inevitably drags them into some mess again.

The descent to Sabaody takes forever; long enough for Sanji to prepare and serve dinner. It’s actually quite a meal, featuring each of the Straw Hats’ favorite dishes – meat on the bone, cheeseburgers, sandwiches, even rice balls for Zoro. It is great to be home, defending his food from Luffy’s sticky hands and dodging the peas that Usopp has been launching across the table. Dinners on the Sunny are no calm event, but Zoro loves it. He loves the chaos of it all.

Normally, Zoro is one of the first few out of the kitchen. He usually has something better to be doing like training, napping, or getting pulled into playing tag with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper. But Zoro has questions, about Sanji’s whole gender thing, and he can’t just ask that in front of everyone. Hell, it’s embarrassing enough to ask the cook about it.

Zoro sits at the table long after he’s finished his dinner, even after everyone has left. He watches as the cook cleans up and washes dishes, ignoring Zoro’s stare the whole time. She doesn’t even try to start a fight, which is unusual, because usually if Zoro stares for that long it’s like asking for a shoe to the face.

Finally, Sanji has apparently had enough. The dishes are washed, dried, and put away. There is nothing else to do in the kitchen, so they turn to Zoro, planting their hands on the island bar and leaning over.

“I’ll bite, is there a reason why you’re watching me, marimo?” He starts. It carries the usual tone of annoyance, but maybe a little more. “This ain’t about earlier, is it? Better not be, cause I will–”

Zoro interrupts by shaking his head. “It’s not… Well, it’s not what you’re thinking. I just. I don’t get it,” he mumbles, staring down at the table in front of him, one hand coming up to play with his earrings the way he does when he’s stressed. He can still feel Sanji staring at him, and he waves his hand, gesturing at nothing. “The, uh, the gender thing. I’m having trouble understanding it. I want to understand it.” He looks up, meeting Sanji’s eyes. Sanji sighs.

“Ok, well which part don’t you get? I don’t really know how else to explain it, other than what I said earlier. Sometimes I feel like a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes in between.” Sanji starts. He speaks slowly, as if he were explaining this to a baby or something. Slightly annoying, but Zoro doesn’t push it.

Zoro furrows his brow, frustrated about the explanation, because it doesn’t really explain anything . At least, not the way Zoro needs. “That’s the thing! What the hell does feeling like a man feel like?”

Sanji falls quiet. “The hell do you mean?” Zoro can hear the usual burning edge to her words, the fight he’s used to. He doesn’t want to make Sanji mad, goddamnit, he wants to understand! Sanji takes an angry hit of their cigarette, blowing smoke in Zoro’s direction. Zoro glares back.

“I mean, how do you know when you’re a man? Since you’re other things sometimes, how do you tell the difference?”

“What’s this about, marimo?”

“Just.. Just answer the question! My reason doesn’t matter!”

“Okay, just… give me a minute, okay? It’s a weird ass question, you caught me off guard.” Zoro nods and leans back on the bench, satisfied for now. Sanji sits down on one of the barstools, spinning slowly as they think.

“I mean, to start off, did you know all this gender thing is fake?” Sanji speaks up after a moment, stopping so he is facing Zoro. “One of my, uh, friends? Yeah, one of my friends back in Kamabakka told me that everything we know about gender is just gender roles. It’s what we tell each gender they’re supposed to do or feel, not what gender actually is. Like, some people think women are just supposed to cook and clean and be quiet while men are supposed to go off and make money for the family. The way my old geezer raised me, women are better than men, and we’re supposed to protect and serve them in any way we can. It’s really different from person to person.”

Sanji pauses to take another hit as she continues. “Let's see… To me, being a man still feels more like responsibility. But there's more, too. Masculinity is loud and brash, it’s like a jungle or like the sea during a storm. The way my legs heat up when I do Diable Jambe, that feels manly too. But it’s different from when I feel like a woman; that’s all light and airy and stuff. It’s like helping Nami-san take care of her tangerines, or laughing with my crew and getting compliments on my food. Femininity is like caring for people, while masculinity is taking responsibility. And then there’s some times when it’s more than that… when I feel charged up and everything is uncertain but it doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like the early mornings when I’m the only one awake, or the moment before lightning strikes.” Sanji pauses, smiling, clearly patting themself on the back. “Eh, I’ve never had to think about how to describe it all before. I think Iva-san would be proud. That help at all, marimo?”

Zoro sits silent for a while, trying to take it all in. He’s never felt like… like a forest, or a storm, or like his legs are heating up. He had taken responsibility for things plenty of times, but it wasn’t related to his gender or anything, it was just what he had to do. There’s one thing that definitely stands out about Sanji’s descriptions, though.

“So, being a man, it doesn’t ever feel like you’re just performing it? It’s not like a job?”

Sanji just… blinks at Zoro, then they stand up and start moving around the kitchen again. He pulls down a mug and starts brewing some tea. Zoro isn’t a big tea person, but he still understands the gesture.

“No, it doesn’t feel like a job.” Sanji finally says after filling the kettle and placing it on the stove. “It used to, though. Before I discovered all of this, and the possibility that I could just not be a man. You feel like it is?”

Zoro ignores Sanji’s gaze, suddenly very interested in the top of the dinner table. He knows Sanji understands, though, as she continues to talk. “I won’t press you, cause god knows I hated it when Iva-san did that to me. But just think about it, okay? There’s a lot out there, and the crew won’t care, you saw them today.” Sanji pauses to place the mug of tea in front of Zoro. “I won’t tell anyone either. But don’t start expecting me to be nice to you or anything! We’re still enemies!”

Zoro grins. He knows that he and Sanji aren’t really enemies, they haven’t been in a long time. Sanji learning to accept themself had helped the both of them a lot, and they’re closer to friends at this point. Sanji knows it too, but they have reputations to keep! Still, it’s pretty nice. Sanji doesn’t treat Zoro like it’s anything weird or shameful, he just understands and explains and lets it be. She nods at Zoro, straightening up to leave the kitchen. “Oh, and you’re washing your own mug! Don’t get lost on the way to the cabinets, marimo!” she adds as an afterthought, ducking out of the doorway before Zoro can send him a glare.

----------

Zoro stands outside the door to Robin’s library, mug of tea in hand, for about ten minutes, just trying to work up the courage to enter. He feels so stupid, being scared to ask his crewmate to borrow a book. While talking with Sanji had helped, just a little, Zoro still has a lot of questions.

He is staring into his mug weighing his options and thinking that he might just come back tomorrow when Robin opens the door. She seems surprised to see him, almost dropping the book in her hands. As usual, she recovers gracefully, donning her usual closed-eye smile.

“My, it’s certainly rare to see you here, Swordsman-san. Is there something I can help you with?” she greets, holding the door open and beckoning Zoro inside.

“Uh, yeah, but if you were leaving–” Zoro tries to deflect. I’m not ready for this, he thinks. He hasn’t felt so uncertain in a long time.

“Oh, I insist!” Robin asserts. “It’s no trouble at all. What can I help you with?”

Zoro looks up at her, at her kind eyes and non-judgemental smile. He knows that Sanji was right last night when they told him that the crew wouldn’t mind if Zoro ended up not being a man. He knows that Robin, especially, wouldn’t mind. He recalls a day from two years ago, when Luffy had suddenly found interest in the book Robin was reading and she had confessed she was transgender as well. That moment had felt so inconsequential back then; it was just another instance of Zoro’s captain and crew bonding. But today, it feels like a lifeline.

Zoro takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Yeah, actually, I was looking for a book. I don’t know the name though.”

“That’s no problem at all. Do you know what kind of book it is?” Robin asks.

Zoro scratches at the back of his head. “Uh, yeah. Do you remember that book you and Luffy were reading a couple years ago? He just wanted to look at the pictures, though, I think.”

Robin brings one hand up to hide her lips as she takes a tiny gasp. “Yes, I know exactly which book you’re talking about. Let me go pull it down for you.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulders as she walks away, gesturing at the benches that surround the library. “You can take a seat, if you want. I can leave you alone, too. I’ll just continue my own reading.”

Zoro sits and nods, feeling a little overwhelmed. He hadn’t planned on telling Robin why he was here, exactly, but Robin knows everything anyways and he does find her company to be very comforting. Robin is something like what Zoro imagines an older sister might be like.

“I, uh. I think I would like that, but…” Zoro is unsure of what he’s asking, letting his voice drop out as he continues thinking.

“I’ll stay down here the whole time, if that’s what you want. And you can always ask for help.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulder again as she passes him the book. “I’m just across the room, okay?”

Zoro is grateful, so grateful for Robin’s easy going nature. He shudders a bit as he opens the book, looking for the chapter on gender identities.

The first thing Zoro notices is just how many there are. There’s like, a thousand, each one with a different name and flag and description. It’s a lot for him to take in at once.

Breathe, Zoro, something in the back of his mind tells him. Just go through it one at a time. Zoro sighs. He already knows he isn’t trans the way that Luffy and Robin are, and he’s pretty sure he’s not genderfluid the way the cook is either. That narrows down his search, at least a little.

As Zoro flips through the pages, he just finds himself feeling more and more lost and frustrated. All these terms are swimming around in his head. And to make matters worse, a lot of them seem to rely on what a person is already feeling. Zoro… Zoro doesn’t actually know what he’s feeling. He’s had this vague notion that he wasn’t quite a man for a long time, but he’s also been acting as one for long enough that it still feels like part of him. He’s getting tempted to just slam the book closed and call it a night, but he really doesn’t want to find out what happens if he mistreats Robin’s books. He has a feeling it won’t be pretty.

“Are you doing alright over there, Swordsman-san?” Robin calls, momentarily stirring Zoro from his thoughts. She has worry written all over her face. “You seem a bit frustrated.”

“I am, but I’m okay.” Zoro reassures her as he continues reading. Then, he hits upon the definition.

Agender , the book reads. A person who feels a lack of a gender identity, or does not feel a strong relation to any gender identity. An absence of gender.

There is a second paragraph below, from an agender person describing how they feel about their own identity. It was really hard for me to figure out for a long time, the author starts , because I just didn’t want to face it. I was comfortable enough living with my own assigned gender. But whenever I think of myself and the words I would use to describe myself, my gender isn’t one of them. I was raised one way, sure, but that is as far as the connection goes. I don’t feel like a man or a woman, I just feel like me.

Zoro chokes on his breath. He studies the image of the flag next to it, and another memory from two years ago pops up in his head. “This flag looks like Zoro,” Luffy had said, and Robin agreed because of the colors. The agender flag has green, white, and black stripes. This is the flag that matched him two years ago, and now with the definition…

Zoro breathes in quickly. His heart is racing, hammering against his ribcage like a drum. He thinks back to what Sanji told him earlier, about sometimes feeling like more than a man or a woman. Zoro hadn’t understood it then, still doesn’t really grasp it. But he knows that he doesn’t feel what Sanji was describing. But if nothing is an option…

When Zoro tries to think about his gender identity, it is just his role as a man. He does what men do because that’s how he was raised, that’s what everyone told him to be. That’s his only connection to it. If he thinks any further than that… there’s nothing. He’s always just felt like Zoro , not Zoro the man or Zoro the woman or Zoro the anything else. Just Zoro, nothing more.

Agender. It certainly seems to fit.

And that thought is so world-changing, so scary, so new that Zoro doesn’t know how to handle it. Consequences be damned, he shuts the book quickly and tosses it onto the table, rushing out of the library. Robin stands up and calls after him, but Zoro just ignores her. All he wants to do is run, run away to when things were simpler, when he didn’t have to think about being different. He hurries into the boy’s room and huddles in his bunk, ignoring his crew for the rest of the night.

----------

Fishman Island is a disaster, of course, complete with princesses, some of Arlong’s disciples, and some very valuable revelations about the Poneglyphs for Robin. Zoro does his best to turn his brain off and focus on drinking the castle dry, eating delicious food prepared by the royal staff, and fighting. He ignores the whole gender issue. It wasn’t important for the first twenty-one years of Zoro’s life, so it can’t be that important now.

Sure, the realization that Zoro didn’t have to be a man was a weight off his shoulders. He didn’t have to “perform” if he wasn’t a man. But Zoro had almost gotten comfortable in the performance. He pretty much knew how to be a man. Why try to change things if they were working out already?

It becomes much harder to ignore after they resurface. Out on the open ocean, Zoro can’t rely on enemies to take his frustrations out on. He has to actually face this himself.

He’s especially irritable that day, mostly hiding in the bunk room and trying to nap. Zoro is usually very good at napping, but he can’t seem to calm his mind. No matter how much he tries to avoid thinking about it, the question of Zoro’s gender identity never leaves his mind.

He spots Robin and Sanji having a hushed discussion in the kitchen that afternoon. He just wanted a beer, because maybe the alcohol could push his thoughts back, but as soon as he enters the kitchen Robin and Sanji jump apart. Zoro doesn’t hear any of their discussion, but he has a pretty good idea what it might be about.

Luffy is the one to finally approach Zoro. He does it at night, when most of the crew has already gone to bed, except for Brook keeping watch in the crow’s nest. Zoro is leaning over the rail, flicking bottle caps over Sunny’s edge so he can watch them hit the water far below.

Luffy doesn’t say anything at first, just slowly walks up to Zoro and stands next to him. Zoro knows Luffy is watching him, analyzing him in that weird way he does. Luffy somehow knows things about people that they don’t yet know about themselves just from watching them, and usually Zoro really admires that, but he doesn’t want that knowing gaze turned on him. Especially not now.

But at the same time, it’s Luffy. Luffy who would never even dream of doing anything that might hurt his crew. Luffy, who sees the best in people, who has never judged his friends. Not when Nami claimed she was one of Arlong’s pirates, not when Robin was framed for shooting Iceburg, not when Usopp almost let his insecurities separate him from the crew. Luffy had nothing bad to say to Robin or Sanji when they came out, and he wouldn’t have anything bad to say to Zoro, either.

Zoro throws the last of his bottle caps overboard. There’s no way to avoid this. He sighs and sits down, back against the railing, and Luffy follows him down.

“What’s up, Zoro? Has something been on your mind?” Luffy starts.

“Luffy, how did you know you were a boy?” Zoro deflects. It doesn’t begin to address Zoro’s own issues, but he just needs to ease in for now.

Luffy looks a little surprised, but doesn’t push Zoro. “I actually always thought I was a boy. I didn’t know that my body was different to the other boys I knew, and I didn’t understand why people treated me differently when they met me. Everyone in the village called me a tomboy, so I thought I was a boy.” Luffy’s face softens for a moment, and he lets out a small laugh. “I really surprised Dadan and Ace the first time she tried to give us a bath. But when I told them I was a boy just like Ace, they didn’t push it, and they let me grow up as a boy.” Luffy trails off a little, but nods when he finishes his thought. He looks at Zoro again, and Zoro swears those eyes are seeing right through him. “Are you… questioning? Do you think you might not be a boy?” He asks, cutting straight through the bullshit and right to the core of Zoro’s problem.

All Zoro can do is nod weakly and stare at the floor. “I asked Sanji for help and she helped me a little, and I asked Robin to look at her books but it all just made me more frustrated. I don’t want to face myself, right now. It all just feels wrong.” Zoro’s face feels hot, he isn’t used to this kind of heart-to-heart and he’s starting to feel really embarrassed and–

Luffy reaches out, crossing the divide between them, and places his hand on Zoro’s. “You’re still the same Zoro you were before, right? Nothing’s gonna change, we’re just gonna see you as you.”

Zoro lifts his head up and stares at Luffy. He knows his jaw is hanging open, and he can’t bring himself to close it. Still the same Zoro… how does Luffy always know just the right thing to say?

“Do you want me to go get Robin’s book? We can look at it again, maybe I can help–”

Zoro shakes his head and smiles at Luffy. “No, it’s okay. I think I know which one I am. I was scared, though, about what it might change. I don’t want to change.”

Luffy laughs. “Nothing is going to change, Zoro. Well, hopefully you feel happier, cause you get to be who you really are. But that’s not scary, that’s a good thing!” Luffy’s eyes are bright and his hand is warm on Zoro’s.

“Yeah… happier, huh.” Zoro breathes out. He never really thought about what comes after his realization, but happiness… well that always sounds nice. Under the moonlight, with Luffy holding his hand and watching over him, Zoro is a little less scared to face himself and the truth that he has probably known this whole time.

“Well, Captain…” Zoro stops himself, clears his throat, and starts again. Right now, this is a conversation between friends, not captain and crew. “Well, Luffy… I’m not a boy. I’m agender.”

Luffy is on him in a second, wrapping him in a tight hug and threatening to knock them both overboard. Luffy is laughing and so is Zoro as they rearrange themselves to sit side-by-side, now looking out over the water.

“I’m proud of you, Zoro.” Luffy whispers, and Zoro feels warm in spite of himself. “So, do you know what this means from now on? Are you gonna change how we refer to you, like Sanji did?”

Zoro stills. He has been so caught up in denying everything, he never thought about what comes next. Slowly, he shakes his head. “I… I haven’t thought about it yet.”

“That’s okay! You can think about it now.” Luffy swings his legs over the side of the ship and leans into Zoro’s side. “Are you feeling better now? Do you wanna tell everyone soon?”

Zoro ponders it for a minute. He is feeling better, a lot better than when Luffy had found him. He knows the crew will be accepting, just like they were for Luffy and Robin and Sanji. If telling everyone can finally get this weight off of Zoro’s chest, he’s ready. He leans into Luffy, feeling the rough texture of the straw hat tickle his cheek. “Yeah, I think I’ll be ready soon. Thank you, Luffy.”

“It’s no problem, Zoro.”

Even after his talk with Luffy, the idea of coming out is still terrifying. Normally, the words “Zoro” and “scared” don’t even go in the same sentence. But there is something so much more real, more personal, about this. Zoro’s gender isn’t some enemy he can cut up. It’s him. And he’s trying to adjust to this new view of himself.

He talks to Robin first. He thanks her for letting him use her book, and apologizes for slamming it shut. He tells her how he knew that the term agender fit him, but that it freaked him out, and he tells her about his talk with Luffy. Robin is a patient listener, and she tells Zoro that she doesn’t blame him. “I figured that you saw something that fit you. I also had a hard time accepting myself. It’s normal to be unsure and afraid, but thank you for telling me.” She reassures.

His talk with Sanji isn’t as calm or patient, but it gets the job done. He thanks Sanji for helping him figure things out, using as few words as he can. Sanji teases back, but nothing she says is hurtful. They just acknowledge that Zoro feels differently, but there’s nothing to say about it, really. Zoro appreciates that sort of understanding.

Nami tells the crew that their next island is about three days away, provided that nothing gets in their way. Slim chance of nothing getting in their way, but Zoro is thankful to know. He spends three days getting comfortable. He tries out different pronouns in secret with Robin, Luffy, and Sanji, and he is pleased to realize that being referred to as “they” doesn’t feel as weird as he thought it would.

Zoro finally tells the crew over dinner on the third day. Sanji made rice bowls; a giant pot of rice and three different kinds of meat as well as tons of veggies for the crew to choose from. Zoro loves rice bowls almost as much as rice balls, but he’s sure he never told Sanji that. Sanji doesn’t mention it, so Zoro doesn’t either.

Zoro had already told Luffy and Robin he was going to do it tonight, so they are sitting on either side of him. Luffy is playing with Zoro’s free hand under the table, waiting for Zoro’s signal to call attention to him.

Zoro nods at Luffy, signaling that he’s ready. Well, he’s not, but it’s now or never. Time to take the leap.

Luffy sets his silverware down and addresses the rest of the table. “Hey, everyone, Zoro has something to say. He’s nervous, so be nice.” The last sentence is teasing, and everyone knows it. They aren’t going to be mean to Zoro, and considering how similar his nervous energy was to Sanji’s just a few weeks ago, they have an inkling of what Zoro might need to tell them.

“I don’t know how to start this,” Zoro admits. Luffy takes off his hat and plops it down on Zoro’s head, and the gesture is so meaningful , it gives Zoro the push he needs. Zoro forges on ahead.

“Ok, uh, I guess it starts with the cook. A few days ago, when they came out, it uh… it kinda impacted me a lot too. I didn’t actually know that there was anything other than just man and woman, so it made me question a lot of things.” Sanji’s face looks weird; it’s red like she’s embarrassed but there’s a hint of… happiness? somewhere in there. Robin rubs Zoro’s back to encourage him.

“Well, once I knew I wasn’t just limited to being a man, it made a lot of things from my past make sense. I’ve never exactly felt like a man, I just did it because I thought it’s what I had to do. So what I’m saying is I’m not a man, I’m not really anything, in fact. I’m agender. No gender, just me.”

Luffy is smiling next to him and Robin and Chopper are both wrapping him in a hug. Nami teases Zoro about how emotional he’s become, but she’s proud of him too. So is everyone else. It’s a lot… but it’s still nice. Sanji just nods approvingly, and it reminds Zoro of how he reacted to Sanji’s coming out.

Before anyone else can ask Zoro, he speaks up again. “Oh, and for the pronoun thing. It’s he/they. Kinda like the cook’s, but no she.” Everyone nods and accepts it.

Zoro really, really loves their crew. They never thought they would reach this level of happiness, of acceptance. He supposes he should have known when Luffy accepted his dream without any argument, accepted everyone’s dreams no matter how crazy they were. Once Luffy declares someone as nakama , he is never letting go, and Zoro is so grateful that he chose to follow someone like that. They couldn’t dream of a life that was any different.

Zoro is feeling a bit awkward, so he’s glad when other conversations pick back up and dinner resumes. Usopp asks Zoro if this means they’re gonna be the world’s greatest swords person , and Zoro says that’s stupid, and the table fills with laughter. The night is still young and Zoro is surrounded by people they love and nothing has ever felt better.

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