#telemachus would be so unimpressed with him

[brainrotroulette]

still reeling from discovering today who Herodotus and the Romans thought Pan’s mother was 🤢

hint hint— she’s a certain loyal wife and queen of Ithaca and her name begins with a “Pen” and ends wit an “elope” 😭

@dkmbookworm and I were GAGGED

[literallyjustforlurking]

Fight Little Wolf (Wolves)

The idea is that Jason is Telemachus reincarnated. This would make the beef between Percy and Jason on the Argo hilarious because it's like Jason's version of a teenage rebellion but also Jupiter having to deal Poseidon claiming Jason as his grandson. Because obviously any version of Poseidon's son is his son even if it's before his son exsisted. (He still refuses to acknowledge Odysseus as his son-in-law)

Athena is cooing over having her nephew/little brother back. Hermes and Poseidon are arguing over whose grandson Jason is.

Jason does not want to be anybody's grandson. Jason gets no say in this.

The best part though is when Annabeth and Jason are stuck in CHB for months while Percy is in his coma. Jason/Telemachus finally understands how his dad felt the entire time he was away from them. Annabeth/Odysseus doesn't understand why they can't just have their family together for one day, please.

Percy keeps hearing about this Jason dude at CJ and something about him makes a shiver runs up Percy's spine. Percy (incorrectly) identifies this as hatred. It is infact Penelope just being really upset that people keep forcing responabilites upon her son.

Because of this Percy is kinda hostile towards Jason when they first meet. Jason (who is excited to see his mother, the woman who raised him, who protected him from the suitors and who he protected in turn, the only solid presence in the first twenty years of his life) totalty doesn't break down crying when Percy gives him a slightly unimpressed look when they first get to New Rome, Why Would You Say That?

Neptune is really confused on when he got a grandson but is also will to fight Mercury over grandparental rites just for the lols.

Athena is planning on duking it out with Hera for mentorship rites.

I also have the feeling Hera really likes Penelope, who in Hera's opinion is the perfect mortal wife, so she is willing to co-parent Jason with her and just cut Zeus out of the equation entirely. Hera is not willing to share with Athena.

Odysseus!Annabeth is not willing to share with Hera who not only kidnapped Percy but also used magic to force Jason to be with Piper cheat on Reyna. This all reminds Odysseus!Annabeth way to much of Circe and Calypso and, just like everything else in her and Percy's lives, is giving the poor girl war flashbacks.

(I don't know whether or not Reyna and Jason were actually dating before Jason was taken but I think it would be funnier if they weren't and Odysseus!Annabeth is just desperatly projecting while Jason is despertly projecting becasue I just got you back please don't piss off another major olympian we're demigods I won't survive the ten years it takes for you to get back home)

Did this entire idea come from a post I saw that called Jason Lupa's little wolf? Yes, your point?

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA CONTINUES

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1

next: part 3 part 4 part 5

a continuation because I have no impulse control and am in dire need of more Aeolus content

first of all, let's establish one thing - and I think we can all agree on that - Aeolus loves to fuck with people. they are a benevolent(-ish?) trickster deity, and they revel in harmless pranks

as a consequence, they are on pretty good terms with Hermes. while Hermes doesn't care much for the 'small fry' and doesn't pay that much attention to the wind god most of the time, Aeolus has their winions follow the messenger god religiously (pun intended), because? where Hermes goes, shenanigans always follow.

so when they get the tea that he's apparently hanging out on that one random Greek island, playing nanny? oh, they know it's gotta be good. so naturally, they go to check it out.

well, turns out that Athena is also there, and both of them are sooo bad with babies, it's hilarious

Athena, holding baby!Telemachus: Ehhh, shouldn't it be eating more meat? it's body is so weak, it can't even hold a spear! Hermes, exasperated: oh my me, 'thena, that's not how humans work!! babies eat liquids first!! how can you not know that!! here you go, champ, drink some wine!! Aeolus, hiding in the leaves: holy shit these guys are dumb

so now they can't just leave Telemachus alone with Athena and Hermes! they might not be an expert on child rearing, but surely they can do better than those two dorks! and the baby is adorable.

so they decide to stick around. just for a little bit. a week tops.

fast forward a few years, and they have been raising the prince of Ithaca

Aeolus: *shocked pikachu face*

and Aeolus is the much needed chaotic good influence to Hermes' chaotic neutral and Athena's lawful neutral.

the thing is, Aeolus is really good at hiding. so good, in fact, that no one but Telemachus had even realized they are here. everyone else just thinks that the prince has an invisible friend which, well… they're not wrong?.. and it's not like other kids are exactly lining up to be his friends anyway, cause everyone thinks he's weird (or their parents don't want to catch the attention of the suitors)

and the gods think that it's because they hang around too much and Telemachus can't make friends because of them. so maybe they try to spend less time in Ithaca, for his own good. which only makes things worse, because now the boy is upset, and Aeolus and winions have to try extra hard to cheer him up, which pisses them off.

Athena & Hermes: oh, goodness us, we shall try not to interfere too much with the mortal affairs, so that the young prince grows up healthy and happy ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Telemachus: (T⌓T) Aeolus: ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ

and then they have to subtle bully the two dumb fucks to come back.

on a less serious note, Aeolus also has a sweet tooth, especially for marshmallows (idgaf there weren't any marshmallows in Mycenaean Greece, they're a god. they can make all the damn marshmallows they want)

and of course, since they are sooo generous, they always share with Telemachus.

what they don't know(?) is that winions, who all get their own treats, also collectively share them with the baby, because they are secretly evil adorable little freaks.

which results in a very hyper prince sugar rushing seemingly out of nowhere.

Telemachus, running all around the palace and crackling madly: I AM SPEED- Penelope, unimpressed: and who, pray tell, had given my son sweets right before dinner? Athena, equally unimpressed: yes, I would also like to know. Hermes, sweating nervously: heyyyy, why are you all looking at me like that???? ( ಠ‿ಠ ) Aeolus, from behind a tree, unseen by anyone: (｡•̀U-)┘

Hermes always gets blamed.

It's the only time he doesn't do the thing

and he's seething, because nobody believes him.