#telefrag

[g0atfac3]

Introducing SPECTACULAR TELEFRAG & WRONGWARP!

It's The G0ATFAC3 Corner's anniversary today!

In celebration, I've taken a creative leap and wrote a whole entire comic book! I also made this video as a framing device:

...But if you wanna skip the Gogglehead shenanigans, you can read the comic right here!

[dunmeshistash]

Yeah the manga/show has briefly talked about how dangerous teleportation spells can be, which is why a lot of the time the characters tend not to use them

I just don't remember where it was mentioned, I'll probably read back once I have time, I only remember this extra.

[threetrollsandadryad]

You know, I think Roboworld kind of had a point not wanting the race to be held on their planet.

[anonomi]

Got into a powerhouse match. 1 point for red, 1 for blu. 1st stalement people kept quiet but there was something bad in the air, something I could see in my team's eyes. 2nd stalemate some guy on the other team started reciting his villain manifesto in how dogshit his team was and how he was going to kill everybody on mine. 3rd stalemate one of our snipers lost his mind and started schadenfreuding after every kill, even in the sightline of 3 snipers. They kept sending spies in by the dozen but they all fell. So many spies. By the 4th half of both teams were on their knees begging to let the other win but both teams had powercouples that practically puppeteered everybody into fighting like dogs. "please let the enemy team win I want to see my family." the answer was always never.

Somewhere along the way we lost our f2p engineer to the drums and our best soldier couldn't take it anymore.

Enemy powercouple eventually dragged 6 people on point and we lost. But honestly it felt like we lost a long time ago. Not just the point, but something inside of all us. It doesn't feel like they won either. Just escaped. There are no winners in powerhouse.

[colloidalamber]

Draw Parkson with the time machine. what will he do.

it dosent go well

[kingofdinosaurs]

we do not make nearly enough jokes about minazuki (and by extension sho postgame) being able to teleport

[lemonofthevalley]

Grant dollification anon here hi,

So forcefem grant am I right? 👀

hell yes >:3

[leadendeath]

*guy whos only played doom voice* woa. didn’t know u could get telefragged in tf2

[penumbralwoods]

*telefrags you cutely*

[c-53]

Durandal's Plan

Show up to lhowon, pfhor occupation, lots of ships, piece of cake.

Obliterate all of them with a telefrag + laser barrage. leaves them devastated. no survivors.

No one does it like me.

LHOWON IS UNDER OUR CONTROL

(Fuck theres still a lot of guys on the ground though and they called for help???)

PIVOT: Wake up the BoBs and my crazy powerful cyborg

They werent expecting that. Keep them on their toes, launch a surface assault on all their major command centers

LHOWON IS UNDER OUR CONTROL

(Oh my god they killed the BoBs with lava??? I wasn’t expecting lava, thats on me)

PIVOT: its fine. They were just a diversion. blast meteor hole in the roof of their base of operations

drop my awesome cyborg in (only he can survive the fall)

My guy cleans up. Easy. outpost destroyed, unrecoverable,

LHOWON IS UNDER OUR CONTROL

Endgame achieved

(Battlegroup 7 is on its way, and they have Tycho???)

PIVOT: ditch my crew and singlehandedly outplay and outmanuever battegroup 7. I need to be alone.

Lock in.

I’m like a hawk picking off field mice. No one does it like me.

My guy on the ground gets the intel.

Alien ai located, lost s’pht clan confirmed, but the ai won’t help me if I’m winning.

We don’t need them yet.

(I am shot down)

PIVOT: its fine. We can recover from this. preform controlled landing and prepare to go on the defensive

Mix it up. Get my guy back in board to clean up shop. They’re not ready for him.

LET tycho trap me

use cyborg to lobotomize me so tycho can't get anything from me (this will make sense later...)

I’m taken to the flagship.

Cant check in on cyborg right now but figure he's with the BoBs

blake can handle this part. I need to be on the down low. no extra guns from me though. get your own s'pht manufactory

Alien ai thinks I’m dead, forced into action. Calls k’lia, and the s'pht'kr. (Lobotomy purpose revealed)

Defeat tycho. Self explanatory.

Might as well move into the flagship while I’m at it… I deserve a treat

LHOWON IS UNDER OUR CONTROL

Endgame Achieved

(just a little more cleanup..)

Find my cyborg. Reveal myself. 100% sure he missed me. Fortnite. Epic moment.

Send my cyborg to destroy the survivors. S’pht’kr providing reinforcements.

Mercifully let the humans go - we don’t need them anymore!

Ignore weird message from Blake. He’s just obsessed with me

(They’re blowing up the sun)

PIVOT: We don’t need Lhowon, K’lia can fold space time.

K’LIA IS UNDER OUR CONTROL (true endgame reveal)

Well on our way to escaping entropy. We win. As long as theres nothing that devours reality hidden in the sun

Endgame achieved

[g0atfac3]

"Sidenote: I've lost all feeling in my face!"

[foone]

It's a time gun. A gun that shoots time. Not a gun to shoot time, that's a terrible idea. Time is messed up enough as it is without some fool shooting holes in it.

No, it shoots bullets of concentrated time. How much depends on the caliber. This gun is chambered for 24 hours. (Although the weird thing is that despite anti-time definitely existing, this gun has no anti-version: there's no anti-gun of time. Instead you just load the gun of time with anti-time bullets.)

So what's it do? Well, you know the saying that time is a river? Well, rivers have splits and tributaries, where some of the stream is split off and eventually catches up with the main body.

This shoves you off into one of those, as you're given more time than the general world has. You get some time that no one else has, until you resynchronize. You're in a frozen world of no time, with only you and any other simultaneously desynchronized people able to move and interact.

This may seem powerful and useful for those hit by time bullets, but it's less useful than you'd think. Your ability to interact with the world is quite limited. And the length of the time you have is critical: 24 hours is a good amount because it's quite survivable, any longer and you're likely to die of thirst or hunger. You can't eat atemporal food or drink atemporal water. Some nasty chronomancers have been known to build time guns of months or years, meaning their victims are instantly replaced with a shriveled corpse, knowing it wasn't a quick death, but a slow and painful one in a lonely world of unfeeling statues where the sun never sets.

You can still breathe, though. That one is... Well, if you can figure out why, there's a prize from the University of Towers for you. Since the existence of the temporal aether was disproven we really have no idea why that happens.

Still, a short trip into personal time can be safe and useful, if properly prepared. Pack provisions and books and writing implements and take it in short jumps, and you can get weeks worth of writing or studying done in a single night.

Anti-time bullets are simpler, at least simpler to explain. They similarly desynchronize your personal time stream, but it results in you Not Being until the timelines align. From your perspective, that happens instantly, with a moment of the standard temporal nausea. For everyone else, you're just gone until you can make up the missing time. So it functions very much like a time jump forward. A 24-hour bullet of anti-time brings you to this time tomorrow, with no time having passed for you, due to your temporal deficit.

It seems safer, at first glance. No risk of starvation, no isolation, just a blink and it's later.

But there's always the problem of telefragging. The universe doesn't like when two things occupy the same space, and while you're gone, your former and future location are accessible. There may be nothing but air there when you return, or there may be a wagon, a person, or a rock. And the results when you return are not pretty, or even explosive.

It's been experimentally verified* by chronomancers that the end result depends on how much of the returning being overlaps with the existing matter. Less than half, and they merge, in ways that are gruesome and almost always fatal. At best, you might lose a limb or a digit due to the overlap. At worst, you're dead instantly and your body is now merged with some other object in ways that will make the funeral closed-casket, and the casket will be an unusual shape.

More than half... Well, the universe REALLY doesn't like it when matter overlaps with other matter. It explodes, violently. Very violently. One chronomancer even suggested this might be used as a weapon of war, by building a siege engine that collides a large animal like a ocean-whale with a large block of limestone, utilizing a short anti-time trip to overlap them. This idea was shot down immediately, as was the chronomancer who suggested it. She'll be officially censured when she reappears, around 28 years from now.

* the tests were performed on standard laboratory voles**, not human (or other sapient) test subjects. All experiments were done with ethics board approval and whenever possible, time loops were employed to unperform any experiments that resulted in the death of test subjects.

** rats, often used elsewhere in science, can't be used here as their natural temporal abilities interfere with the experiment. See "there is only one rat", V. Tollens, U. of T. Journal of Time, TE 436.

[thewertsearch]

@sunshinev3 asked: kind of off topic but you mentioned like 30 liveblog pages ago that jade is probably an anime fan and i literally havent stopped thinking about jade watching/reading one piece since. do you think she used to daydream about the strawhats sailing to her island… finally having real life, in person friends for a change…

Pictured: A battalion of Marines attempt to apprehend notorious pirate outlaw Jay D. Harley, seconds before being telefragged into the sun by her horrible devil dog. (1522, colorized)

[profilozof]

Goddess of Salt

So, I read @chaoticdumbassrogue 's of the fountain and of Manhattan fanfics of Athenide au, and I love them and the au as a whole.

But the thing is: I LOATH PJO!Athena. Seriously, I forgot most of the series but I remember hating the bitch. So out of my salt for her, this au was born (also I am a filthy Percabeth supremacist so no Apollo romance, but they will be besties):

What if Perse was born as just a Naiad of the fountain?

After the contest, Athena rejects Perse, which makes Percy happy (sidenote, but Percy was a guy before being telefraged to ancient Greece), which makes her storm off "because how dare this fountain spirit be happy that she doesn't want her"

Adoption by Amphritrite goes very well (later on, she will even give Percy a domain over salt together with Hades, so Perse is goddess of all salt used by man)

Anyway, Perse is very well loved by her siblings despite having one eye be grey like that bitch athena (I like heterochromia okay)

She eventually does something extremely Percy-like and intervenes to save a city in Ionia (the Anatolian side of Greece) despite being just a naiad and her fountain, i.e., her true self, being very far away. Because a mortal (the first demigod of Hephestus) that she befriended was in danger.

Because of that, she fulfils her ascension condition and becomes the goddess of Loyalty and Patron of that city (either the city of Ionia itself, Doris or Halicarnassus, whichever is closer to a volcano)

Cue Athena trying to get custody. Like a century after Perse's birth...

Perse wasn't denied by Styx's oath because, as much as I prefer modern-day Poseidon, he isn't as clever to pre-emptively protect Perse. So yeah, Perse will need to castrate someone (probably Helios, who would want a newer model (eugh))

Perse gets an awesome temple/home that doubles as an Orphanage and school where she actively lives most of the time.

I have a lot of thoughts about said temple, but that's for later if anyone will care to ask

The last important thing is that Perse tried to make a "new rome but in greece this time" after Lamia cursed the demigods (and Perse torn Lamia into so many shreds that she never risen again); so Camp half-blood was a downgrade which Dio and Chiron remember and will told demi-gods in the future.

Perse has elf ears that blush and wiggle when she thinks of Annabeth (she is a simp)

[catadioptrics]

He listened to Koko’s story, smugly brushing off the internal comments that suggested a low opinion of his intelligence since he’s not the one in a predicament right now, and as he heard about what happened he couldn’t help but think about what kind of lunatic would come up with the idea to use a teleportation Z-Move to essentially bend the laws of the universe.

Well, other than Lucas, apparently.

“Not exactly, but there were a few similar incidents. Like, when I stopped paying attention while teleporting an object and ended up spawning it inside something else, or when I didn’t account for the Earth’s rotation and ended up chucking things into outer space. If anything, getting you to switch places with him is one way to make sure those things don’t happen…” Nico’s voice trailed off as he continued to speak because he was thinking about the implications of that experiment, but then he caught himself and continued to explain what he knew.

This is totally not going to have serious consequences down the line.

“But there was actually something like that in another region that I heard about. You know, there was this scientist that was experimenting with teleportation devices and ended up switching bodies with his Nidorino because his machine didn’t have enough power to complete the process. It was a pretty big deal at the time, but that’s basically what happened to you, right? And since that story didn’t end in complete tragedy, that means you can get your body back if you do something similar.”

"Hopefully soon. It's weird when you look like this."

"Somehow I doubt that, but at this point, I'll take all the help I can get." Ugh, maybe he shouldn't have admitted he was desperate for help like that knowing Nico. Still, it was true. The faster he gets out of this situation, the less likely that something bad will happen while they are stuck like this.

Still, couldn't he get someone smarter than Nico to help out? Ugh, beggars can't be choosers, can they?

"Lucas tried to teleport me out of the Region's boundaries with a Z-Teleport. Instead of that working, we ended up switching bodies." It really was a stupid idea in hindsight. Although that could be the worry and paranoia talking.

"I don't suppose something like that happened when you tried teleporting objects and people before?"

[phaeton-flier]

Did they ever learn to farm on the planet where everyone can teleport or did they just get used to telefragging buffalo and going to random jungles for fruit