#teetotal problems

[too-antigonish]

Morse and drinking in the 70s...

Long....because I can't write short. And obviously, a lot of you will already know this stuff...

Just want to take a moment to talk about alcohol and alcoholism in the context of the early 1970s and remind folks of how totally and completely different it is from how we see it today.

Drunk driving had not been outlawed in most countries. Not only that, it was widely regarding as funny—funny enough to be used as a regular “gag” in movies. Problem drinking was also seen as funny. There were regular cartoon strips about it. The “drunk” was a funny stock character in all sorts of plays and movies.

Alcohol was ubiquitous. We’re not just talking liquid lunches. We’re talking drinking at work, while you work—just as you see in Endeavour. Think about that for a second.

And politely saying no wasn’t something you did without social consequences. It wasn’t just seen as a personal preference. Unless you had a specific, acceptable reason, turning down a drink was often seen as stand-offish and judgmental or as a social snub. Teetotalism was regarded as rather naive and ridiculous—not something any man or woman of the world would embrace.

In the early 1970s, there was no widespread understanding of alcoholism as a disease. It was still seen very much as the consequence of personal weakness—still a matter of “If you cared enough or tried hard enough, you wouldn’t do this so it must be a character flaw.”

Plus, most people, “normal” people don’t have problems with alcohol, so if you do then there’s something abnormal and defective about you—most likely something you brought upon yourself.

And as a “personal weakness” and a “defect,” the shame around it was profound and the secrecy matched. If someone went away for treatment, it was very much akin to an unwed mother going off to have her baby and then returning without the child. You never spoke of it. You pretended that it had never happened.

If you were a kind person, you also didn’t go out of your way to parade babies in front of her or talk constantly about children when she was with you. But refer to it directly? Never. Ask for help? Never. It was always something to be hidden. Everyone did their best to forget that it had ever happened and saw this as the "kindest" thing to do.

When Morse returns from his “cure,” it would simply be assumed that everyone would pretend that nothing unusual has happened. Why he’s  just been off on a tour of the West Country and nothing else! Hope you had a lovely time! That sort of polite fiction was exactly what he would have expected upon his return. Anything more direct—at least in a public setting—would have been shocking to him and everyone else.

Where things break down, however, is in the more personal interactions. His relationship with Thursday is such that they can at least broach the topic of drinking. When they do, my impression is that Thursday is well-aware that Morse not “cured.” However, in the context of the time, saying this would be akin to saying, "You failed," because there was no disease model of alcholism in widespread use. You went to be cured and it worked or it didn't.

However, I'd also add that Thursday is almost to the breaking point with the cumulative strain he is under. He can’t cope with the “burden” of Morse being in a precarious state and he knows it. He feels desperately guilty about that—as well as about other things like Strange and Joan or about life having moved on so much while Morse was gone—and so he just shuts down. 

Shutting down is Thursday’s go-to strategy when he’s overwhelmed. We’ve seen him do it many times before. And part of that for him, is that he pretends that the people around him are ok—even if they are anything but ok. Not surprisingly, he does it the most with the people he has the closest emotional ties with—Win, Joan, Sam, and Morse.

So the only way that Thursday can cope is by having Morse be perfectly fine. Conveniently, his preferred coping strategy fits exactly with his society's expectations about how alcoholism works. If Morse is "cured," you don’t need to worry about sparing him the constant offers of alcohol in the same way that the young unwed mother might hope to be spared babies. You certainly wouldn’t embarrass him (especially after he’s been through the humiliation of rehab) by drawing attention in any way to a possible to the idea that he still has a problem. 

And finally, a last note on time context. The scene in the pub where Morse has that first drink after finding out that Joan is marrying Jim is utterly heartbreaking for so many reasons. One of those reasons, however, is that we know it’s the first drink—and that the first drink leads to the second, and so on and so forth. Then Morse says to Thursday, “They said the, the odd beer, the odd shot, does no harm…"Everything in moderation," they said,”  and we automatically assume he’s lying.

I’m fairly sure that those scenes were meant to be interpreted through our modern viewpoint. However, it’s worth noting that again, the model of alcoholism in the 1970s was nothing like what we have today. The idea that someone with a drinking problem/addictions needs to abstain entirely was not even close to universal at that point. It’s perfectly possible that the advice Morse is quoting is the advice he received!

[artist-issues]

Quick question. Have you read any of Brandon Sanderson's books before? If so, what books would you recommend?

Also, what books of C.S. Lewis, would you recommend and why.

I want to start reading them, but I'm uncertain what books I should pick out and try.

Hello my friend!

I've never read Brandon Sanderson, or heard of him! Do you hear good things about him? Should I look into him? Sorry to turn it back around on you.

C. S. Lewis is unlike any other author to me. What he has to say resonates with me and feels like he opened up my heart and put what was in there into order every time I read his stuff. Feels like going to the chiropractor—like my thoughts and emotions and vague ideas have been out of alignment, and he pops them back into place where I didn't even know I needed alignment.

That said, I love all his stuff. Fiction, non-fiction, essays, letters to friends, lectures, everything. So I'm almost...the wrong person to ask, because I would recommend ANYTHING he writes.

I'll try to give you a little recommendation-by-starting point?

If you're looking for fiction: Read the Chronicles of Narnia. If you've already read them, read them again 😅 I read them on loop. They're on my phone. I'm never not reading them.

If you're looking for deeper ("adult") fiction: Read Out of the Silent Planet, then Perelandra��but I don't recommend reading That Hideous Strength until you've tried to read...

3. If you're looking for commentary on fundamental worldviews: Read The Abolition of Man. It's an essay on what C.S. Lewis believed about the idea of "progressivism," but it has a lot to say about objectivity versus subjectivity, and where logic and emotion belong in the priority-list of a person...I just recommend that everybody read The Abolition of Man. Then read That Hideous Strength to finish the Ransom Trilogy, because it's kind of a modern-fairytale picture of what Lewis was trying to say in Abolition. Reading both will compliment his thoughts!

4. If you're still looking for more fiction: Read The Screwtape Letters and The Great Divorce, then Til We Have Faces and The Pilgrim's Regress.

5. If you're looking to set your mind on the things above with C.S. Lewis: Read Mere Christianity, and The Problem of Pain.

6. If you're looking to hear what C.S. Lewis had to say about stories or critical thinking: Read his essay in response to critics of the Lord of the Rings (I think it's called "The Dethronement of Power") and read An Experiment in Criticism. (He has so much good stuff to say about enjoyment, and how humans can use their critical thinking skills to actually get in their own way. C.S. Lewis really believed that people should enjoy what is good to enjoy, in the proper way, and that that was one of the most God-honoring things you could do. He also hated teetotaling along the same lines 😅)

Remember that everything C.S. Lewis writes is very "thematic." He wasn't exactly making allegories all the time, but he was making "supposals" all the time. For example, Narnia is "suppose God created other worlds; in those worlds there had to have been a Jesus; in a world of talking beasts, what would Jesus look like? A lion." Or, "suppose God created life on all the planets in our solar system, not just Earth, and suppose Satan was put in charge of ours while other angels were put in charge of other planets; then what would space travel look like?" And many thematic lessons are tied up in there.

Also, if you read his biography Surprised by Joy and Perelandra, you might come to realize something about C.S. Lewis' beliefs that I'm only just starting to grasp: he thought we make WAY too drastic and exclusive a distinction between "story" and "reality." He believed that there was something in every story which points back to the one great story God made up, which is reality. So he's not afraid to include pagan mythology in his own Christian stories because to him, knowing their history and the cultures they come from, some of those pagan myths and stories tie neatly into truths about God. It might be a hard thing to grasp depending on your Biblical upbringing, but the spirit of what he means is not unbiblical.

Another cool thing I'm learning from Lewis is that he didn't think of all mankind as monsters. Oh, he believed that the Bible was correct when it says "all have sinned; there is none righteous," etc. He certainly didn't believe there was anything good left in man. But what he did believe was that man was kind of like a broken mirror, I guess. Like, it's in pieces on the floor. Good for nothing but the trash. But you can still look hard at the shards and figure out what it should be doing, and in that way, you can see traces of the mirror's creator. So in his biography, there's this interesting part where C.S. Lewis actually says that heartlessness is a worse sin than, say, homosexuality—they're both sin, but at least one points to a twisted version of what we were made for, which is love. At least someone could look at those broken shards and maybe come to the conclusion that there is a God who made us creatures for love, and therefore learn something about Him, even if we mucked it up. But with a heartless person? Lewis seems to condemn that person as not human at all, because there's no trace, not even a broken trace, of what humans are meant to be in them.

I just thought that was interesting. Because it makes you realize that mankind's story isn't "bad to good." It's more like, "good, to bad, back to good." Which is why any of us recognizes the need for God at all.

Anyway! Sorry for the ramble, I know you didn't ask for it 😅 I hope that gets you started? I also hope you blog about what you think of any of Lewis' stuff; I can't wait to read it. He's near and dear to me, so I like the thought of "sharing" his writing with anyone. Thank you'

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, 24M ISTP here hoping to help my 25F INFJ girlfriend, or at least understand her. It’s a persisting problem that’s taking a noticeable toll on her mental health and I’m a little lost on what to do.

We live in the UK, and drinking culture is HUGE here, particularly regarding an almost obsession with pubs. They’re seen as a community hub in a way for a lot of people. I personally only have one or two drinks on special occasions and my girlfriend is teetotal, so neither of us feel the need to go to these places ourselves. The problem, for my girlfriend, is how this interferes with the rest of her social life. She has a lot of online friends, but aside from myself and her sister, she only really hangs out with her work colleagues. Most of these outings involve drinking to an extent.

My girlfriend said herself, several times, that she doesn’t like the pub crowd. It’s not her scene, it’s noisy and cramped a lot of the time and she just finds it boring. Honestly I agree with her. She’s even had some people grilling her about why she doesn’t drink, which obviously won’t help. When it’s just the two of us, we usually go to some sort of cafe, or an actual activity like arcades or museums, because that’s what we both enjoy. Whenever she goes out with her colleagues, though, she comes home miserable and deflated. I suggested offering to go someplace else with them, but she’s apparently asked a few of them around the weekend time and they always say they’re busy.

I’ll see her obsessively scrolling on Reddit or Twitter at sometimes 4AM, looking into why people love drinking/pubs so much and to see if anyone feels the same way that she does. It seems to start this vicious cycle of guilt if she can’t find the answers she wants because she’ll see people praising pubs and what they mean to them. She tells me how she feels like she doesn’t fit in here, and it’s warping her view of the world generally, because so many people love and revolve their leisure time around an activity that she hates. Basically she thinks that there’s something wrong with her.

She’s tried to branch out a little over the last few weeks by taking music classes and volunteering, but she’s really shy and hasn’t formed any friendships so far, which is making her feel even worse. So she falls back into her usual routine of going to places that she hates because people want her to. I take her out to do what she likes as often as I can, but honestly I think there’s a deeper problem at play here.

I asked her if she feels lonely, and she said no. She doesn’t miss the connection of an actual friendship, she actually enjoys having lots of alone time. She told me it comes from a need to feel socially competent, and this does line up with her behaviour. The way she talks, acts, dresses, is all done so she can be perceived a certain way. She wants people to see her as someone that has friends and a fulfilling social life. But like I say to her - she’s not a public figure, she’s not a fictional character. There’s no audience here aside from the people she chooses to be around. Why is she sabotaging herself?

----------------------

Consult the article about Caring for Emotional Needs for tips about how to offer comfort to people in distress. Questions about how to help are always complicated because there are so many factors that could influence the outcome. The most important factors to consider are: 1) how open the person is to receiving help, 2) whether they possess enough inner and outer resources to carry out good advice, and 3) whether your presence has the potential to hinder them. From your description, it is unclear how these factors will play out.

Have you read the study guides and do you understand functional stacks and type development? It sounds like she is having difficulty with auxiliary development and reaching a point of auxiliary resistance, which can potentially trigger a gradual descent into tertiary loop. It is a common issue across all types.

It's possible there's something awry with her intentions. Approaching function development with the wrong intention often leads to negative results. She works very hard, perhaps too hard, to fit in, which indicates Fe overindulgence, but then also claims that she does not need the Fe things she's working for. She claims to want "social competence", which is ostensibly about healthy Fe, but then rejects vital opportunities to develop genuine social competence. Denial and ambivalence are major factors behind why people get stuck in developmental ruts. In essence, people want auxiliary development but also want to avoid the difficulties of it, which can lead them to choose dead ends and overlook viable opportunities.

Yes, it is self-sabotage, but it's important to remember that these "choices" are generally made unconsciously from a deep and dark place of pain, suffering, ignorance, or desperation. Although it might seem irrational to onlookers, it is rational to do what is necessary to alleviate short-term pain, in an effort to regain enough mental capacity to tackle long-term problems. However, when pain cannot be adequately alleviated (usually due to not having learned the right tools for coping), it starts to wreak havoc psychologically.

I often say that the easy path isn't usually the right path when it comes to personal growth. Ideally, she should go through the arduous process of making new friends with people who are better suited to her personal preferences and needs. Branching out is the better choice but also the more difficult choice because it involves facing up to painful truths about herself, i.e., to nakedly expose the shyness and deep insecurities that lie at the heart of the struggle. She has yet to realize that it is precisely through facing up to those vulnerabilities that genuine social competence is eventually achieved.

Since she isn't ready to face up to the real underlying problem, she's leaning on her colleagues at the pub. As you said, pub culture is huge in the UK, so enjoying it would allow one to quickly fit in with a significant swath of the population. However, as huge as pub culture is, there are also huge numbers of people with other interests, but it might be difficult to meet them without making a big change to one's immediate social environment. From my observations, spending too much time with people at work can really limit one's perspective, like putting all your eggs in one basket. I generally don't recommend seeking out personal relationships in the workplace unless you just happen to meet someone you really, really click with.

If she lacks the wherewithal to change her social environment, she might be feeling out of options and that might be why she's trying to force the pub situation, as it helps maintain some illusion of control. The misery she feels as a result is an extremely important warning sign but she's ignoring it, which indicates poor self-care and a need to improve emotional intelligence. Chasing these existing relationships is the golden path of least resistance, but it only seems easy on the surface. In the end, it's also an incredibly difficult path because she must deny herself and sacrifice her integrity for the pretense of fitting in, which basically amounts to self-violence.

In short, both paths are difficult, but only one will lead to proper function development and personal growth. In cases of auxiliary overindulgence, the dominant function doesn't work optimally. Without healthy Ni, it's difficult for her to understand the longer term implications of her choices. All FJs need a strong sense of belonging and community in order to flourish in life. Fe-related needs are legitimate and she must learn to fully embrace them as an integral part of her identity. Ideally, she should be encouraged to fulfill her Fe needs and be offered support as needed/requested. However, though it's hard to watch someone you care for struggle, you can't compel or force them to develop a function when they are not psychologically ready for it. It's something she ultimately has to decide to do on her own, for her own good.

Since her auxiliary function is your inferior function, you are in a dangerous position. You could inadvertently be a negative influence if your inferior Fe distorts her view of auxiliary Fe. It's important that you are mindful about your own relationship to Fe. You have to understand that auxiliary and inferior functions are very different animals that require very different approaches in type development. You should avoid expressing inferior Fe in a way that gives her a convenient excuse to withdraw from auxiliary Fe development entirely. This would be the worst case scenario from the perspective of type development.

[steelbluehome]

"The two leads are fantastic: Stan navigates from naïve wannabe to glowering mogul and never loses his way or slips into parody. His vanity about his hair and his looks is on display from the beginning, but in the early years he is unsure of himself and there is a vulnerability about him. Strong is also utterly believable as Cohn, a man as vain as his disciple and certainly as dangerous."

The Standard

The Apprentice review: Sebastian Stan shines in drama about how Donald Trump went from wannabe to mogul (click for article)

This origin story does an excellent job of showing the rise and rise of Donald Trump

Jo-Ann Titmarsh

4 out of 5 stars

One of the hottest tickets in Cannes this year is Iranian director Ali Abbasi’s The Apprentice, his tale of the rise and rise of Donald Trump.

The apprentice in question is Trump himself (Sebastian Stan), while the master he serves and later usurps is Roy Cohn (Jeremy Strong), a lawyer who hobnobs with leaders and has the ear of the president.

Cohn is ruthless and will stop at nothing to attain what he wants, often in the name of a patriotism which equals hard-right conservatism.

The film opens in 1970s New York. Donald is a baby-faced teetotal rent collector for his dad, but he yearns to break free of his father’s grip and strive for greater things, obsessing over the tycoons and millionaires that frequent Le Club.

This is where he meets Cohn who takes Trump under his wing and instructs him to follow his three essential tenets, which are all about achieving, denial and how even a defeat can be turned into a win.

Abbasi deftly recreates the feel of the city and the darkness of those years. And what starts gritty becomes colourful once Ivana (Maria Bakalova) appears her platinum blonde hair, scarlet dress and matching glossy lips.

The other important people are his family members. Martin Donovan plays Fred, the abusive and monstrous family patriarch. Donald’s mother Mary (Iona Rose MacKay) is a less forceful presence, while Trump’s brother Freddy (Charlie Carrick) is sympathetically depicted as a man slowly but irrevocably broken by his father’s contempt.

As the film moves into the 1980s, the look changes completely as the Eighties vibe comes clearly into focus, like walking into the neon-lit bathroom of a dingy club.

There is nothing but tackiness here, that harsh lighting revealing the deals in Atlantic City, the over-the-top décor of the Trump home and the gaudiness of the couple’s life together, even as their relationship falls apart.

The harshness also highlights Trump’s ascension as Cohn begins to falter and the apprentice becomes the master.

The film ends with Trump drafting his book The Art of the Deal, in which he dictates those three tenets drummed into him by Cohn. Nothing about Trump is original. Nothing has been gained by him alone. And there is nothing he won’t do to get what he wants.

The two leads are fantastic: Stan navigates from naïve wannabe to glowering mogul and never loses his way or slips into parody. His vanity about his hair and his looks is on display from the beginning, but in the early years he is unsure of himself and there is a vulnerability about him. Strong is also utterly believable as Cohn, a man as vain as his disciple and certainly as dangerous.

It’s hard not to bring up comparisons with Succession here: a New York dynasty, a tyrannical father, the wealthy elite, the presence of Jeremy Strong who played Kendall Roy… there’s even a fleeting glimpse and mention of Rupert Murdoch, whom Cohn says Trump should cosy up to. And then there’s the excellent music by Martin Dirkov, which has echoes of the Succession theme.

There are some problems, the story is too linear and the screenplay, by Gabriel Sherman, full of scenes seen many times before, such as Cohn chasing after Trump in the street begging for an audience or Donald refusing his calls, and the director could have been more inventive in the fil. However, there is a lot of humour here, particularly thanks to the character of Cohn, and almost always at Trump’s expense.

The Apprentice is not going to change anyone’s mind about Trump, who is so vain that he will almost certainly love this film, despite the references to his plastic surgery and big butt.

But Abbasi does an excellent job of showing us how and why Trump became the Trump of today and how his path to presidency was paved.

[queen-scribbles]

something stupid

21. Dance (early act 3 WotR; Trinne/Lann)

Spirits were high--or flowing freely, depending on the kind you meant. Soldiers and civilians alike danced in the street, drinks in hand, or lounged around to watch the celebrations. Despite the clean-up than remained, liberating Drezen was worthy of celebration, so Trinne was more than happy to sit on the steps with a mug of cider to nurse and watch her people have fun. All of them knew the road ahead was still long, but they'd righted a wrong festering for seventy years. Let them enjoy one night.

"Those two are creative, huh?" Lann commented as he joined her, nodding toward a young couple who were indeed quite imaginative.

"I'm not gonna judge," Trinne laughed. "'Specially not someone who can make an Andoran waltz into something fun."

"Oh, so there's a real dance like that?" he said, leaning back to brace his elbows against the next step up.

"Only the broad framework." She sipped her cider and arched a brow at his empty hands. "No drink? Don't you wanna have fun?"

Lann chuckled. "I already polished off two. Thought it might be smart to take a break. So I don't say or do something stupid."

"That is smart. But not everything has alcohol in it, y'know." She swirled the remnant of her drink for emphasis, then took another sip.

"Teetotaling, Commander?" he teased.

"More like very aware how low my threshold for drunk is," she snarked. "In the interest of not doin' something stupid."

"Smart as well as brave-" Lann clamped his mouth shut on the rest of the sentence.

"You gonna finish that thought, Lann?" Trinne smirked over the rim of her mug before throwing back the last of its contents.

"Don't think so," he said, suddenly very interested in studying the cobblestone between his feet. "It would fall under 'something stupid' and I'd like to avoid putting my foot in my mouth around you."

She bit back a smile, rubbing her thumb absently over the rough clay of her mug, then set it down and pushed to her feet. "Dance with me?"

Lann's head snapped up and he looked askance at the hand she held out toward him. "What?"

"Dance with me," Trinne repeated. She wiggled her fingers and gave her most persuasive grin. "C'mon, it'll be fun."

Shelyn help her, he was kinda adorable when he blushed like that. "You sure there wasn't anything in that cider, Commander?"

"I'm not drunk, I wanna dance with you." She wiggled her fingers more insistently.

"Hmm, only problem," the blush was still there, but he had a teasing glint in his eyes, "I don't know any of your fancy uplander dances."

"Ah, well, then..." Trinne snickered, playing along even as she grabbed his hand and started tugging him to his feet. "We have a few options. I can teach you, you show me a neather dance, or we make it up as we go." A wink. "Or mix up all three."

Lann let her drag him up. "And what makes you think we have dances?"

He hadn't let go of her hand, which was probably responsible for the giddy headrush, "Two reasons," she grinned starting toward the nearest bonfire with him in tow, "you said you don't know uplander dances, and every culture I've ever seen has dancing."

He chuckled, eyeing the other dancing pairs. "You caught me there."

I wish. "So I can have a dance?" she asked playfully.

Lann heaved an exaggerated sigh, grip on her hand turning more deliberate. "I'm just tipsy enough to think this is a good idea, so sure. Long as you won't be embarrassed by me tripping over my own feet."

Trinne's face hurt, she was grinning so wide as she pulled him into the flow of the dance. "Never."

She wasn't sure exactly how long they went, rush of celebration carrying them along, but it was definitely more than one dance by the time they collapsed, laughing, back on the steps for a break.

[bisluthq]

the only time we ever saw taylor come out with a glass of wine on tour was at the end of the us leg…it was a celebration. your obsession with painting her as a liar is a bit strange ngl

I’m not obsessed with painting her as a liar at all but she has a very odd relationship with alcohol and has a looooong history of lying about that (often sensible white lies like when she was underage why would she admit to drinking lol? That’d be very irresponsible). Taylor was publicly drinking making and promoting Midnights, in November 2022 she was drinking at the EMAs, the pic of her and Joe out at dinner in December 2022 has them both drinking, she drank from Matty’s glass in Jan 2023 and hung out with them after as we know, she was drinking fuck heavily at the Grammys and afterparties (5 Feb 2023), and tour started on 17 March 2023. So the longest she could’ve “stopped” drinking to prep for the tour is… one month. Lmao. That’s not stopping drinking dude? That’s “I did a dry month challenge” lmao??? 🥲🥲🥲 She was going out pretty consistently after the breakup and I doubt she was teetotaling every time, and in May she was spotted with a glass of wine in her hand at dinner with Matty and Jack, and at Questlove’s party in July quite clearly has a drink in hand. Then in August there was that backstage pic, and she was seen drinking at Jack’s wedding, and then she started hanging with Travis and drinks publicly with him when they’re out pretty much every single fucking time they’re out. I’m sorry bestie but she… never “stopped” drinking. That’s just reality.

she very likely cut down in the lead up to tour and the first few shows and also while she was deciding what to do re Joe - I’m not saying she totally made it up and I guess maybe it felt like stopping lol because it was so hard for her to do and she probably needed to since she exercised a lot more and lost weight and stuff - but she never STOPPED because we have her drinking on tape pretty constantly? When are you thinking she stopped lol? Like… when? 🥲🥲

POTY came out in December 2023 so the fact that she was still popping off about the (maybe) month she “stopped” drinking is like… yea lulz.

again, it’s not me wanting her to lie. It’s that she demonstrably did. If Taylor Swift “stopped drinking” then I’m a survivor of an alien abduction lmfao. There’s as much credibility to both claims.

maybe she did a sober month. I’ll even give you that. But you don’t say you “stopped drinking” after a sober month lol unless you reallyyyy have a big problem (which fwiw I don’t think she does lol I think she just talks about this stuff weirdly and always has because she’s got hang ups around it idk).

[nephytale]

Fact about my muse: senritsu might avoid strong Alcohol nowdays beside a after-work-beer for understandable reasons, but she very much is undestructable when it comes to holding her drinks. How are the pirates holding up?

Tell me a fact about your oc and I will respond with a semi-related fact about mine

Oh dear, you've touched a point xD

Ryoko: During her depressive/self-destructive times, Ryoko drank until she fell unconscious on the floor because of sake, it was her only solution to her problems. Luckily she has an iron stomach and has never vomited, but she has fainted. After finding her brother and her place in the world, she became much more responsible and now knows how to enjoy a good glass of alcohol. She still enjoys going to taverns but she hasn't gotten drunk again, she just got to the point of "being happy." Anyway, now, being a much more finest woman, she enjoys drinking a good glass of wine from her homeland while she has a nice chat or a nice moment with herself. She prefers not to lose track of her senses and to always be ready.

Kosei: Kosei was raised under protocol and good taste. Despite his more rebellious nature, he doesn't usually drink much, just the occasional glass of wine from his homeland from time to time.

Ronin: He was teetotal, as heir to a family of guardians, he could not afford to have a drop of alcohol in his system, however, when he joined Ryoko's crew and promised to protect the princes with his life, he also learned to relax a little and be able to indulge in a little alcohol from time to time

Nozomi: She doesn't usually drink unless she's invited, but she doesn't go beyond one drink. She knows perfectly well the benefits and cons of drinking alcohol so she is very careful with it. Furthermore, due to her condition, she needs to have her senses at 100%. "A glass of wine a day is healthy. But just that, ONE"

Hideki and Kurayami: Oh my goodness. These two drink a lot. The difference is that Hideki becomes more talkative (or rather, talkative, since he speaks very little) and Kurayami becomes depressed

Sadashi: She doesn't drink alcohol, only energy drinks. There's no way you're going to change her mind.

Natsu: Although he wants to try alcohol, no one on the crew allows him to touch a single drop, because "he's underage" (He's 17, but they really enjoy teasing him about it), so instead, every time he wants to drink something, they give him non-alcoholic beer, or a glass of milk.

[desperatelyseekingcannibals]

Couldn't Wait (Martin/Markus/Grigg) - Shortfic

Explicit // M/M // Grigg (Jane Austen Book Club)/Martin (Druk)/Markus (Riders of Justice) // Tagged: Post canon Martin, Post canon Markus, AU Grigg, Martin and Anika didn't reconcile, guilt, divorce, trans male characters, trans Grigg, reconciliation, make-up sex, kissing, frotting, front hole fingering, hand job on a trans man, voyeurism, front hole sex, light choking, anal sex, double penetration, double penetration in two holes, threesome, m/m/m, squirting, potential future poly relationship, implied happy ending. Prompt fill.

Five years after his marriage ended, Martin's increasingly distant ex-wife gets back in touch via her new boyfriend.

Couldn't Wait (4.3k):

Martin woke up with a headache and promptly pulled the pillow over his face to block the light.

He’d been up late creating his lesson plan for next term so that he could enjoy the school break, but he hadn’t eaten dinner, and was suffering for it now. It felt somewhat unfair to wake up feeling like you were hungover having not touched a drop in years.

Martin wouldn’t say he was teetotal, but alcohol held guilt for him now, and especially drinking to excess. Ever since Tommy had died. Would that have happened if they hadn’t all been so foolish as to think they could all drink their problems away under the guise of a ridiculous experiment? He was never going to shake the guilt over Tommy having died because of their stupid group attempt to essentially be less boring.

Was he still boring? Yes, and he was fine with that. Not the same kind of boring he had been before that time, the time he now thought of as a bit of a midlife crisis.

Anika had no time for him then, but how much of that had been because he’d had no time for her? Looking back now, it was clear to him that they had both been deeply unhappy for quite some time.

The plan had been to hold each other’s hands when they got old. They had the kids, she had nursed his dad as he died, but none of it was enough when the joy was gone.

The last affectionate message he’d had from Anika was her message “I miss you too. A lot.” Which he’d hoped was the path to reconciliation, but instead it had been goodbye.

After that the only conversation had been through their lawyers and via text messages. Neither of them actively used their kids as communication, though occasionally something would slip. Enough that Martin knew Anika was still with the man she’d started seeing when she’d cheated on him.

He had a kid of his own, the boys got on with her, and he treated the boys well. That was all he allowed himself to care about. He hadn't seen her in person since the divorce was finalised. She hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes, and all he wanted to do was ask her about that final message. Why send it? What was the point? Did she still miss him?

None of it mattered now.

The boys were off at university so communication had been limited. In fact they barely messaged at all now. Mostly just to arrange which holidays they would have the kids. This school break they would be with her.

So it was a surprise when there was a knock on the door, and then another, louder knock. He’d never expect anyone this early unless it was the boys being dropped off.

Martin groaned and pulled himself from the bed, his head hurting all the more as lumbered to the door in just his boxers and t-shirt.

“Hello?” He said as he opened the door, blinking against the sun as he tried to focus on the man at his doorstep.

His hair was clipped short and he had a big beard, a haunted look in his warm eyes. He looked expectantly at Martin, as though it was Martin who had knocked on his door.

“Can I help you?” Martin asked, trying to ignore his banging head.

“Are you Martin?”

“Yes?” Martin squinted in both confusion and from the searing daylight.

“My name is Markus, I’m with… uh… with Anika.” Despite seeming not only confident but slightly menacing, it was strange that he stumbled over the words. “Can I come in?” He added as Martin continued to stare at him.

Continue on AO3

[blackfemalecountryartistonradio]

Country Music has been in black folks "LANE" FOR OVER 200 YEARS. LEARN HISTORY LUKE BRYAN: BEFORE PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH. Black women musicians such as Elizabeth Cotten & Etta Baker developed major country music guitar & banjo-picking styles: that are still used in country music today.

Valerie June is a Grammy-nominated artist who has her own brand of country music. Yola is a four-time Grammy-nominated country music artist. Reyna Roberts is talented black, female country artist. Tiera Kennedy IS a wonderful black female country artist. Tanner Adell is a talented black, female country artist. Ashlie Amber is a black female country artist: who has received favorable nods from the CMA & CMT. Julie Williams received the honor of CMT Next Women of Country Class of 2023. She is very versatile & talented with a bright future in country music.

Chapel Hart received the blessing of Country Music Legend Loretta Lynn shortly before she passed away. Chapel Hart is a talented trio.

Ray Charles, Deford Bailey, Charley Pride are 3 black people in the country music Hall of Fame. Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery with: 1. African banjo, 2. African Drums, 3. African guitar. 3 instruments still used in country music CURRENTLY!

Black musicians incorporated African melodies & traditions into country music. Black slaves found new ways to use the bow on the fiddle: that are still used in country music today. The steel guitar was invented by: Native Hawaiian man of color named Joseph Kekuku. Black Slaves found ways to combine the fiddle, drums, guitar, & banjo into ensembles that influenced & make up the very back bone & back beat of modern country music, bluegrass, & folk music.

AS country music became popular with white audiences, African American recognition wasn't acknowledged at all. Country music remains predominantly white & RACISTS.

Other Black artists besides BEYONCE: who've recorded country albums include: Ray Charles, Solomon Burke, Bobby Womack, Esther Philips, Otis Williams, Millie Jackson, MICKEY GUYTON, RISSI PALMER, THE WAR & TREATY, BRITTNEY SPENCER, MIKO MARKS, KANE BROWN, Tina Turner & MANY OTHERS.

Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery: SO COUNTRY MUSIC IS In OUR "LANE." I consider myself a patriot as a disabled USA Navy Veteran: & I served in the military with honor. It is sad: that as a black woman I'm good enough to serve in the military & possibly get killed or become disabled: but BLACK WOMEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST IN COUNTRY MUSIC. IT IS EVEN WORSE: BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. YOU CAN NOT EVEN PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC WITHOUT THE 1. AFRICAN GUITAR, 2. AFRICAN DRUMS, 3. AFRICAN BANJO. BLACK PEOPLE LIKE 1. DEFORD BAILEY, 2. RUFUS TEETOT PAYNE, 3. LESLIE RIDDLE, 4. RAY CHARLES, 5. CHARLEY PRIDE, 6. LINDA MARTELL, 7. LAMELLE PRINCE ALL HELPED CONTRIBUTE TO COUNTRY MUSIC. THE TIME TO END RACISM AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE & ESPECIALLY BLACK WOMEN IN COUNTRY MUSIC. STOP THE HATE NOW!

Racists have a problem in country music not Beyoncé. Ignorant, uneducated people who think country music is ONLY old white guys, beer, & tractors.

The founders of country music were enslaved African Americans: who brought the 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, 3. African drums to the USA along with Native Hawaiian Joseph KeKUKu who invented the steel guitar another staple of country music.

Country music was founded & rooted in the Black community. Racist Minstrel shows renamed the country music black people created as “hillbilly music:" which whites appropiated the country music that black people created even though country music can't even be played without the African instruments of the guitar, banjo, & drums. Country music was brazenly & blatantly stolen from African American Culture, hymns, & African American Slave, field songs.

The term cowboy was a name originally given to black slaves: who herded cattle & would wear cowboy hats, jeans, boots, & attire as they herded cattle for slave masters. Black slaves invented country music: & BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. Black people invented country music, banjo, drums, & guitar. Lesley Riddle was a black man: that wrote & created many songs with the Carter Family. There is a statue of Deford Bailey a black man that contributed to country music immensely in front of the Grand Ole Opry. RAY CHARLES ALSO CONTRIBUTED TO COUNTRY MUSIC. Rufus Payne aka Teetot taught country music, country singing, & country guitar playing to Hank Williams, a part Native American & White country music artist: who was told not to acknowledge his Native American roots nor his lessons from Rufus Teetot Payne. Charley Pride is a country music legend. LaMelle Prince was the first black lady, country artist. Ignorant racists: who don't know country music was brought to USA by black slaves along with the: 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, & 3. African drums are the problem NOT BEYONCE!

[usanavydisabledveteran]

Country Music has been in black folks "LANE" FOR OVER 200 YEARS. LEARN HISTORY LUKE BRYAN: BEFORE PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH. Black women musicians such as Elizabeth Cotten & Etta Baker developed major country music guitar & banjo-picking styles: that are still used in country music today.

Valerie June is a Grammy-nominated artist who has her own brand of country music. Yola is a four-time Grammy-nominated country music artist. Reyna Roberts is talented black, female country artist. Tiera Kennedy IS a wonderful black female country artist. Tanner Adell is a talented black, female country artist. Ashlie Amber is a black female country artist: who has received favorable nods from the CMA & CMT. Julie Williams received the honor of CMT Next Women of Country Class of 2023. She is very versatile & talented with a bright future in country music.

Chapel Hart received the blessing of Country Music Legend Loretta Lynn shortly before she passed away. Chapel Hart is a talented trio.

Ray Charles, Deford Bailey, Charley Pride are 3 black people in the country music Hall of Fame. Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery with: 1. African banjo, 2. African Drums, 3. African guitar. 3 instruments still used in country music CURRENTLY!

Black musicians incorporated African melodies & traditions into country music. Black slaves found new ways to use the bow on the fiddle: that are still used in country music today. The steel guitar was invented by: Native Hawaiian man of color named Joseph Kekuku. Black Slaves found ways to combine the fiddle, drums, guitar, & banjo into ensembles that influenced & make up the very back bone & back beat of modern country music, bluegrass, & folk music.

AS country music became popular with white audiences, African American recognition wasn't acknowledged at all. Country music remains predominantly white & RACISTS.

Other Black artists besides BEYONCE: who've recorded country albums include: Ray Charles, Solomon Burke, Bobby Womack, Esther Philips, Otis Williams, Millie Jackson, MICKEY GUYTON, RISSI PALMER, THE WAR & TREATY, BRITTNEY SPENCER, MIKO MARKS, KANE BROWN, Tina Turner & MANY OTHERS.

Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery: SO COUNTRY MUSIC IS In OUR "LANE." I consider myself a patriot as a disabled USA Navy Veteran: & I served in the military with honor. It is sad: that as a black woman I'm good enough to serve in the military & possibly get killed or become disabled: but BLACK WOMEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST IN COUNTRY MUSIC. IT IS EVEN WORSE: BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. YOU CAN NOT EVEN PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC WITHOUT THE 1. AFRICAN GUITAR, 2. AFRICAN DRUMS, 3. AFRICAN BANJO. BLACK PEOPLE LIKE 1. DEFORD BAILEY, 2. RUFUS TEETOT PAYNE, 3. LESLIE RIDDLE, 4. RAY CHARLES, 5. CHARLEY PRIDE, 6. LINDA MARTELL, 7. LAMELLE PRINCE ALL HELPED CONTRIBUTE TO COUNTRY MUSIC. THE TIME TO END RACISM AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE & ESPECIALLY BLACK WOMEN IN COUNTRY MUSIC. STOP THE HATE NOW!

Racists have a problem in country music not Beyoncé. Ignorant, uneducated people who think country music is ONLY old white guys, beer, & tractors.

The founders of country music were enslaved African Americans: who brought the 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, 3. African drums to the USA along with Native Hawaiian Joseph KeKUKu who invented the steel guitar another staple of country music.

Country music was founded & rooted in the Black community. Racist Minstrel shows renamed the country music black people created as “hillbilly music:" which whites appropiated the country music that black people created even though country music can't even be played without the African instruments of the guitar, banjo, & drums. Country music was brazenly & blatantly stolen from African American Culture, hymns, & African American Slave, field songs.

The term cowboy was a name originally given to black slaves: who herded cattle & would wear cowboy hats, jeans, boots, & attire as they herded cattle for slave masters. Black slaves invented country music: & BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. Black people invented country music, banjo, drums, & guitar. Lesley Riddle was a black man: that wrote & created many songs with the Carter Family. There is a statue of Deford Bailey a black man that contributed to country music immensely in front of the Grand Ole Opry. RAY CHARLES ALSO CONTRIBUTED TO COUNTRY MUSIC. Rufus Payne aka Teetot taught country music, country singing, & country guitar playing to Hank Williams, a part Native American & White country music artist: who was told not to acknowledge his Native American roots nor his lessons from Rufus Teetot Payne. Charley Pride is a country music legend. LaMelle Prince was the first black lady, country artist. Ignorant racists: who don't know country music was brought to USA by black slaves along with the: 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, & 3. African drums are the problem NOT BEYONCE!

[lamelleprince]

Country Music has been in black folks "LANE" FOR OVER 200 YEARS. LEARN HISTORY LUKE BRYAN: BEFORE PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH. Black women musicians such as Elizabeth Cotten & Etta Baker developed major country music guitar & banjo-picking styles: that are still used in country music today.

Valerie June is a Grammy-nominated artist who has her own brand of country music. Yola is a four-time Grammy-nominated country music artist. Reyna Roberts is talented black, female country artist. Tiera Kennedy IS a wonderful black female country artist. Tanner Adell is a talented black, female country artist. Ashlie Amber is a black female country artist: who has received favorable nods from the CMA & CMT. Julie Williams received the honor of CMT Next Women of Country Class of 2023. She is very versatile & talented with a bright future in country music.

Chapel Hart received the blessing of Country Music Legend Loretta Lynn shortly before she passed away. Chapel Hart is a talented trio.

Ray Charles, Deford Bailey, Charley Pride are 3 black people in the country music Hall of Fame. Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery with: 1. African banjo, 2. African Drums, 3. African guitar. 3 instruments still used in country music CURRENTLY!

Black musicians incorporated African melodies & traditions into country music. Black slaves found new ways to use the bow on the fiddle: that are still used in country music today. The steel guitar was invented by: Native Hawaiian man of color named Joseph Kekuku. Black Slaves found ways to combine the fiddle, drums, guitar, & banjo into ensembles that influenced & make up the very back bone & back beat of modern country music, bluegrass, & folk music.

AS country music became popular with white audiences, African American recognition wasn't acknowledged at all. Country music remains predominantly white & RACISTS.

Other Black artists besides BEYONCE: who've recorded country albums include: Ray Charles, Solomon Burke, Bobby Womack, Esther Philips, Otis Williams, Millie Jackson, MICKEY GUYTON, RISSI PALMER, THE WAR & TREATY, BRITTNEY SPENCER, MIKO MARKS, KANE BROWN, Tina Turner & MANY OTHERS.

Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery: SO COUNTRY MUSIC IS In OUR "LANE." I consider myself a patriot as a disabled USA Navy Veteran: & I served in the military with honor. It is sad: that as a black woman I'm good enough to serve in the military & possibly get killed or become disabled: but BLACK WOMEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST IN COUNTRY MUSIC. IT IS EVEN WORSE: BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. YOU CAN NOT EVEN PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC WITHOUT THE 1. AFRICAN GUITAR, 2. AFRICAN DRUMS, 3. AFRICAN BANJO. BLACK PEOPLE LIKE 1. DEFORD BAILEY, 2. RUFUS TEETOT PAYNE, 3. LESLIE RIDDLE, 4. RAY CHARLES, 5. CHARLEY PRIDE, 6. LINDA MARTELL, 7. LAMELLE PRINCE ALL HELPED CONTRIBUTE TO COUNTRY MUSIC. THE TIME TO END RACISM AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE & ESPECIALLY BLACK WOMEN IN COUNTRY MUSIC. STOP THE HATE NOW!

Racists have a problem in country music not Beyoncé. Ignorant, uneducated people who think country music is ONLY old white guys, beer, & tractors.

The founders of country music were enslaved African Americans: who brought the 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, 3. African drums to the USA along with Native Hawaiian Joseph KeKUKu who invented the steel guitar another staple of country music.

Country music was founded & rooted in the Black community. Racist Minstrel shows renamed the country music black people created as “hillbilly music:" which whites appropiated the country music that black people created even though country music can't even be played without the African instruments of the guitar, banjo, & drums. Country music was brazenly & blatantly stolen from African American Culture, hymns, & African American Slave, field songs.

The term cowboy was a name originally given to black slaves: who herded cattle & would wear cowboy hats, jeans, boots, & attire as they herded cattle for slave masters. Black slaves invented country music: & BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. Black people invented country music, banjo, drums, & guitar. Lesley Riddle was a black man: that wrote & created many songs with the Carter Family. There is a statue of Deford Bailey a black man that contributed to country music immensely in front of the Grand Ole Opry. RAY CHARLES ALSO CONTRIBUTED TO COUNTRY MUSIC. Rufus Payne aka Teetot taught country music, country singing, & country guitar playing to Hank Williams, a part Native American & White country music artist: who was told not to acknowledge his Native American roots nor his lessons from Rufus Teetot Payne. Charley Pride is a country music legend. LaMelle Prince was the first black lady, country artist. Ignorant racists: who don't know country music was brought to USA by black slaves along with the: 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, & 3. African drums are the problem NOT BEYONCE!

[beyhivecountrymusicradio]

Country Music has been in black folks "LANE" FOR OVER 200 YEARS. LEARN HISTORY LUKE BRYAN: BEFORE PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH. Black women musicians such as Elizabeth Cotten & Etta Baker developed major country music guitar & banjo-picking styles: that are still used in country music today.

Valerie June is a Grammy-nominated artist who has her own brand of country music. Yola is a four-time Grammy-nominated country music artist. Reyna Roberts is talented black, female country artist. Tiera Kennedy IS a wonderful black female country artist. Tanner Adell is a talented black, female country artist. Ashlie Amber is a black female country artist: who has received favorable nods from the CMA & CMT. Julie Williams received the honor of CMT Next Women of Country Class of 2023. She is very versatile & talented with a bright future in country music.

Chapel Hart received the blessing of Country Music Legend Loretta Lynn shortly before she passed away. Chapel Hart is a talented trio.

Ray Charles, Deford Bailey, Charley Pride are 3 black people in the country music Hall of Fame. Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery with: 1. African banjo, 2. African Drums, 3. African guitar. 3 instruments still used in country music CURRENTLY!

Black musicians incorporated African melodies & traditions into country music. Black slaves found new ways to use the bow on the fiddle: that are still used in country music today. The steel guitar was invented by: Native Hawaiian man of color named Joseph Kekuku. Black Slaves found ways to combine the fiddle, drums, guitar, & banjo into ensembles that influenced & make up the very back bone & back beat of modern country music, bluegrass, & folk music.

AS country music became popular with white audiences, African American recognition wasn't acknowledged at all. Country music remains predominantly white & RACISTS.

Other Black artists besides BEYONCE: who've recorded country albums include: Ray Charles, Solomon Burke, Bobby Womack, Esther Philips, Otis Williams, Millie Jackson, MICKEY GUYTON, RISSI PALMER, THE WAR & TREATY, BRITTNEY SPENCER, MIKO MARKS, KANE BROWN, Tina Turner & MANY OTHERS.

Black people brought country music to the USA via slavery: SO COUNTRY MUSIC IS In OUR "LANE." I consider myself a patriot as a disabled USA Navy Veteran: & I served in the military with honor. It is sad: that as a black woman I'm good enough to serve in the military & possibly get killed or become disabled: but BLACK WOMEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST IN COUNTRY MUSIC. IT IS EVEN WORSE: BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. YOU CAN NOT EVEN PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC WITHOUT THE 1. AFRICAN GUITAR, 2. AFRICAN DRUMS, 3. AFRICAN BANJO. BLACK PEOPLE LIKE 1. DEFORD BAILEY, 2. RUFUS TEETOT PAYNE, 3. LESLIE RIDDLE, 4. RAY CHARLES, 5. CHARLEY PRIDE, 6. LINDA MARTELL, 7. LAMELLE PRINCE ALL HELPED CONTRIBUTE TO COUNTRY MUSIC. THE TIME TO END RACISM AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE & ESPECIALLY BLACK WOMEN IN COUNTRY MUSIC. STOP THE HATE NOW!

Racists have a problem in country music not Beyoncé. Ignorant, uneducated people who think country music is ONLY old white guys, beer, & tractors.

The founders of country music were enslaved African Americans: who brought the 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, 3. African drums to the USA along with Native Hawaiian Joseph KeKUKu who invented the steel guitar another staple of country music.

Country music was founded & rooted in the Black community. Racist Minstrel shows renamed the country music black people created as “hillbilly music:" which whites appropiated the country music that black people created even though country music can't even be played without the African instruments of the guitar, banjo, & drums. Country music was brazenly & blatantly stolen from African American Culture, hymns, & African American Slave, field songs.

The term cowboy was a name originally given to black slaves: who herded cattle & would wear cowboy hats, jeans, boots, & attire as they herded cattle for slave masters. Black slaves invented country music: & BROUGHT COUNTRY MUSIC TO THE USA VIA SLAVERY. Black people invented country music, banjo, drums, & guitar. Lesley Riddle was a black man: that wrote & created many songs with the Carter Family. There is a statue of Deford Bailey a black man that contributed to country music immensely in front of the Grand Ole Opry. RAY CHARLES ALSO CONTRIBUTED TO COUNTRY MUSIC. Rufus Payne aka Teetot taught country music, country singing, & country guitar playing to Hank Williams, a part Native American & White country music artist: who was told not to acknowledge his Native American roots nor his lessons from Rufus Teetot Payne. Charley Pride is a country music legend. LaMelle Prince was the first black lady, country artist. Ignorant racists: who don't know country music was brought to USA by black slaves along with the: 1. African Banjo, 2. African guitar, & 3. African drums are the problem NOT BEYONCE!

[girltrashstl7]

Do not be so worried about people being "WOKE" THAT YOU FALL ASLEEP. GOD SAID "DO NOT COVET ANOTHER PERSON'S SPOUSE." GOD DID NOT SAY "PLEASE DO NOT COVET ANOTHER PERSON SPOUSE: BUT IF YOU DO HAPPE. TO SLEEP WITH A PORN STAR LIKE STORMY DANIELS: WHILE YOUR WIFE IS IN THE HOSPITAL GIVING BIRTH: BECAUSE YOU HAPPEN TO BE A SERIAL CHEATER: WHO NEVER PLANS TO BECOME A NEW CREATURE IN CHRIST. YOU INSTEAD PLAN TO BLASPHEME: HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS, & ME: JUST KEEP COMMITTING THE SAME ADULTRY SIN & JUST KEEP ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS: THAT IS OK. BECAUSE I DO NT REALLY MEAN WHAT I SAID: THAT IS WHY I ASKED NICELY & SAID PLEASE: BECAUSE LOYALTY & COMMITTMENT IS REALLY JUST AN OPTION. OH BYE THE WAY DO NOT USE ANY PROTECTION WHEN CHEATING ON YOUR SPOUSE: SO YOU CAN ALSO BRING HOME SOME DISEASES.

Charlene Smith BLACK PEOPLE INVENTED COUNTRY MUSIC: SO ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE COUNTRY LIKE: DEFORD BAILEY, RUFUS "TEETOT" PAYNE, LESLEY RIDDLE, CHARLEY PRIDE, RAY CHARLES, LAMELLE PRINCE, LINDA MARTELL, POINTER SISTERS, LIONEL RICHIE ALL HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO COUNTRY MUSIC. BLACKS SLAVES BROUGHT: 1. GUITARS, 2. DRUMS, 3. BANJOS, 4. COUNTRY MUSIC TO USA FROM AFRICA: BUT RACISTS WHITE WASHED COUNTRY MUSIC & STOLE IT FROM BLACK PEOPLE LEARN YOUR DAMN HISTORY & YOU WOULD NOT EVER SAY ANY BLACK PERSON IS NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY THE COUNTRY MUSIC OUR ANCESTORS BROUGHT TO USA. TIRED OF RACIST. Republicans are re-writing the 10th commandment by complaining about Beyoncé version of Jolene. So the Bible the Republicans care so much about means NOTHING & GOD MEANS NOTHING TO THEM.

According to Megyn Kelly & all the MAGA FOLKS ON THE RIGHT GOD SHOULD HAVE SAID:

"PLEASE DO NOT COVET ANOTHER PERSON'S SPOUSE: BUT IF YOU DO HAVE UNPROTRCTED SEX WITH A BUNCH OF PORN STARS LIKE STORMY DANIELS OR PROSTITUTES: THAT IS OK BECAUSE I AM GIVING YOU LICENSE TO CHEAT CAUSE I REALLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY NOR DO I MEAN WHAT I SAY."

THE REAL COMMANDMENT SAYS:

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house . . . your neighbor’s spouse . . . nor anything that is your neighbor’s” (Exodus 20:17). The 10th Commandment.

Dolly Parton gave Beyonce permission to remake Jolene: so nobody should be complaining about it: especially Megyn Kelly who is on her second marriage: unless she wants her husband whoring around on her with a porn star like Stormy Daniel's. What is wrong with saying no I do not want my husband cheating on me: because I personally would have a problem with that. What idiot wants to give their spouse a "DONALD TRUMP UNPROTECTED, UNSAFE SEX, MAGA LICENSE TO CHEAT WITH PORN STARS & PROSTITUTES LIKE WHAT MEGYN KELLY IS DOING & SUGGESTING. DOLLY WAS POLITE PLEASE DON'T CHEAT BACK IN THE 1960'S WELL Beyoncé IS WORTH A BILLION DOLLARS SHE IS SAYING DON'T CHEAT PERIOD NO PLEASE IN THEIR CAUSE YOU & YOUR GIRLFRIEND GOING TO HAVE A BILLION DOLLAR PROBLEM.

Instead of saying please don't cheat Beyonce is saying DONT TRY IT: DONT CHEAT. I AINT GONNA STAND FOR IT. Dolly Parton gave Beyonce permission to remake Jolene: so nobody should be complaining about it: especially Megyn Kelly who is on her second marriage: unless she wants her husband whoring around on her with a porn star like Stormy Daniel's. What is wrong with saying no I do not want my husband cheating on me: because I personally would have a problem with that. What idiot wants to give their husband a license to CHEAT LIKE WHAT MEGYN KELLY IS DOING. IS THE RIGHT CONSERVATIVE FOLKS ALL WANT THE SPOUSES SLEEPING WITH PORN STARS & PROSTITUTES WITH NO CONDOMS: WHILE THEY BLINDLY TRUST THEIR MATES LIKE MELANIA TRUSTED DONALD TRUMP. DONALD TRUMP WAS BANGING A PORN STAR: WHEN MELANIA WAS GIVING BIRTH TO BARRON: WHAT IS WRONG WITH SAYING "CHEATING ON ME IS NOT OK." DO YOU WANT YOUR WIFE CHEATING ON YOU: ARE YOU GIVING YOUR WIFE A POLITE LICENSE TO CHEAT?

[gikairan]

Like, I dunno how many people feel the same way.

But when there's something that's considered UNIVERSAL, and you.... do not fit into that mould, it's an extra level of frustration

Like, there's an ingredient you don't like. ... but it's extremely common in your cultures food. To the point where it's actively difficult to find food that DOESNT contain that ingredient, or you have to constantly ask restaurants to remove it from dishes.

You know how hard it is to be British and NOT like cheese? People will grab a load of pizza to cater for a large group, and then you realise.... they ordered JUST pizza..... nothing else. there are whole restaurants out there whose entire menu is covered in cheese. Like, even vegan food is often covered in vegan cheese..... and when the problem is the /taste/, not what it's made of, it's hard to avoid....

Im teetotal. I don't drink. I've NEVER drunk. I actively hate the taste of the alcohol itself. It's frustrating when people assume I drink, just because everyone else does. I'm forever irritated by having to explain why I choose not to drink to people.

But also just assuming everyone has a certain skill...

I chose not to learn to drive. I never felt safe on a bike once the stabilisers came off. I either walk, or get public transport (I don't fancy spending Money on a folding trike I might never use). And for someone to have booked me on a bike tour without considering "hey, can she actually ride a bike?" first is.... just frustrating.

(and let's not get into the whole "I do not want to co-inhabit with people, and I actively recoil at the idea of having a Partner" thing)

It feels like the universe constantly saying "hey, you're doing existence wrong!" when there is nothing wrong with my choices. It's people just not considering that MAYBE there's someone who might not Fit.....

And all I ask for in this world is for people to challenge those moments of "well everyone likes x", "everyone can do y", "z is something we all want" and consider

Not everyone likes x. Not everyone can do y. Not everyone WANTS z.

And consider a possibility where someone might not fit in with a particular plan, and arrange an alternative just in case.

[bisluthq]

Tom Holland started an alcohol free beer brand and apparently people were complaining about it. That led to people sharing this video where he says that he decided to do a dry January, struggled with it, he added February to it, struggled again, and then he decided to stop drinking until June, and by then he felt better than ever and didn’t want to drink. That obviously shows he had a problem, and it was very much a cultural thing because he said that he felt like he couldn’t go to the pub or have fun without getting a drink. However, I have seen people say he was an “alcoholic” and I was wondering how you guys feel about that label because it didn’t sound THAT serious to me? I guess I personally would use that label for someone who can’t control it and needs to go to rehab. If you’re able to stop it before it gets there, even if it’s a struggle, I personally think you had a problem but not enough to be labeled an “alcoholic”. Not that that’s a bad thing, but it just sounds more serious to me? But I don’t know because I don’t like alcohol so I can’t really relate to any of that

see, I’m quite bitterly against the focus on the word alcoholic. I’m NOT saying if you use that word to self-describe you should stop, and I’m absolutely NOT saying that if you find AA helped or helps you that you should stop going, and I’m NOT saying that the label hasn’t saved a lot of people when they were in really deep shit. It has. However, I think there are a few problems with the focus on the word. Firstly, there’s deep shame and stigma attached to claiming it (rightly or wrongly). Again, obviously you have people calling themselves grateful alcoholics and shit and I’m happy for those people like that’s all well and good but the vast majority of us don’t want to be labeled alcoholics lol. We use that word pejoratively for the most part. We call people alcoholics when they’re like… really not okay and by calling ourselves alcoholics we’re acknowledging that we’re not okay which can, as I’m saying, be empowering for some but is disempowering for many other people. The whole idea is that it’s an illness right and it’s very debatable if it yk is. Secondly, it creates this us and them dichotomy whereby so long as we don’t meet certain arbitrary and largely subjective criteria - whether that’s the clinical definition of Alcohol Use Disorder or whether that’s us not losing our jobs or our friends or whether that’s us not being homeless with a bottle of fuck alone knows what in a paper bag or whether that’s us not drinking in the mornings or at work idk - we aren’t “them” and like… that’s kind of narrow minded?

At the end of the day, I can only really speak for myself at the end of the day so like it’s time for a loooong story time. I’ve been worried about my drinking since I was in undergrad. Like I was hyper aware that I drink a lot, often more than I plan to or want to, since I was in undergrad. I’ve also been very aware of the fact that I drink almost every day since probably around then and I’ve also been very aware of times I cannot or do not drink and I’ve felt like that’s maybe something I should be less aware of lol? Like why do I KNOW when I didn’t drink? To me, it reminded me of a lot of my ED patterns of thinking and behavior right like the shame and the counting and the control/monitoring. But every time I brought it up in therapy, I was basically told that I’m not an alcoholic and I should ask myself why I drink and stuff and I was like “well I dunno because I like feeling fucked up lol right???” (or I’ve also said “because I like the taste” or “because I enjoy it” but fundamentally it’s because I like being fucked up). Anyway, this year I started experimenting with teetotaling - in part because yes I was also drinking more than I had for a while but not more than I have ever in my life - and I started researching it a lot more and reading Quit Lit and reading AA stuff too although I don’t really fuck with a lot of it and what I’ve found, for me, is that I feel a hell of a lot better when I’m sober. I feel demonstrably happier. I’m less depressed (not saying I’m not a hell of a good time when I’m drunk but like the morning after the night before isn’t exactly sunshine and roses). I’m less anxious. I have more energy. I have less guilt and shame. I have - and this really surprised me because I was sure this was something I needed booze for like overall - MUCH better sex. And what’s also weird is I personally don’t miss it and I don’t want it. Once I got over the initial societal awkwardness and the fact that everyone knows me as the white wine girl, I didn’t fucking want it. I’m perfectly happy to go out for food, to go to social events, to go to people’s houses, and teetotal. I also think most people don’t even fucking notice because unless they’ve got some weird hang up about booze idk why they’d be looking in my glass (so yes I do personally get asked and yes I do have to justify but I genuinely believe the vast majority of my social circle has a fucked up relationship with booze).

I don’t think I’ve quit like for life necessarily because there may well come a time that I really want a specific drink and/or I may actively want to experience something while yk fucked off my face lol but like that day is not today.

Back to Tom, idk that he was an alcoholic or that it matters what he calls himself but clearly he feels a lot better not drinking - as do I - and I commend him for his honesty on that 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

And I think if this is something you think about a lot - not you anon but people - then maybe try a sober challenge and see how you feel. I also have said before and I firmly believe this to be true, if you have a genuinely healthy relationship with alcohol then I’m not sure you’ve ever considered cutting down. My mother considers herself a drinker but she drinks SO infrequently (not because of rules but because she has a healthy relationship with it) that I don’t think Sober October or Dry January have ever crossed her mind. If they have, and if you’re doing mental gymnastics as to why your drinking is okay and falling back on all the ways you’re not an alcoholic, then maybe just try sobriety for a little while. If it’s hard, then try it for a little longer. Try challenge yourself not to like go on a big bender the day after your challenge ends (because I’ve also done that lol “see??? I didn’t drink for 3 months so let’s fucking PARTY!!”) Try like idk just see how you fucking are sober. Because a lot of people - Tom and I apparently - find once we’ve actually been sober a while we prefer it.

And yes it’s very cultural because as I say, as much as people aren’t staring in your glass like it’s the one thing we have to justify. If I quit smoking tomorrow I can guarantee that people will praise me for it but when I say I’m sober for now lots of people ask me like why that is or assume something bad happened. And it genuinely didn’t. Nothing that bad happened. In fact, again, therapists and doctors repeatedly told me alcohol isn’t my problem. But like proof is in the pudding and I feel better when I’m not drinking lol so there is that.

[recovery4ever]

Beating Addiction: Why You Should Consider Living Teetotal

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Living a teetotal lifestyle is becoming more common, as more people become aware of the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, it can be beneficial to become a teetotaler. But why should you be a teetotaler? Here are a few reasons: • Reduced Risks of Health Problems: Teetotalers don't need to worry about the risk of suffering health problems or diseases as a result of heavy drinking. The risk of liver, heart, and other health problems due to alcohol consumption is significantly reduced when you abstain from drinking. • Improved Mental Health: Alcohol can have a negative effect on mental health. When you become a teetotaler, you reduce the risk of depression and other mental health issues related to alcohol consumption. • Financial Benefits: If you become a teetotaler, you won't be spending money on alcohol. This can be a great way to save money over time, and you can use that money in other ways. Whether you’re a recovering addict or if you’re looking to avoid the potential problems associated with alcohol consumption, becoming a teetotaler can be a great option. If you or someone you know is dealing with substance abuse, it’s important to seek help from one of the many drug rehabilitation services available. Addiction treatment centers can provide essential help for those struggling with substance abuse. Letting go of alcohol or other substances can be a difficult process, but it’s not impossible. There are resources available to assist in the transition to a teetotal lifestyle. Talking with a trained professional can make all the difference on a person’s journey towards sobriety. At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that you are not alone in this journey. Alcohol and substance abuse is a major health concern in our country, and if you are considering becoming a teetotaler, know that there are people and resources available to assist you. If you are looking for more information, don’t hesitate to reach out to a resource like Banyan Treatment Center to learn more.