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On Tee's Lonely Grief
I've seen people talk about New's and Phee's grief, Pimpa's grief but the gang has never been considered that much on account of their guilt. This episode, however, brings attention to that. Especially in Tee's case. Especially in the scene when he finds Non dead.
And I have to say, I fucking love this scene. So I'm here to tell you why.
PS: For the sake of this post, unlike what's normally my policy, the pictures used will not be edited in any way, shape or form unless stated otherwise. I think it would be taking creative liberties with the photography and it would diminish the validity of my analysis.
So:
Tee finds Non's body upstairs with his uncle's goons (dressed in entirely black outfits which obviously invoke death) very suspiciously looming over it.
So he does what capable and strong Tee, who has to support himself and his father and his uncle's business and now Non (as we saw very clearly this episode) would do: He lashes out. He demands answers. He threatens people. Because that's how he learned to solve his issues.
Yet he gets mostly silence. Arguably, the same exact silence he initially offers the 2 other people grieving Non this episode: New & Phee.
And so he argues with his uncle, makes accusations, mirrors New in the present moment so well it's uncanny.
And then he's alone. Everyone leaves, including Non's body. And now there's no one to perform that idea of a strong ruthless guy to. Now it's just Tee. And the contrast between the act of Tee and Tee is remarkable: one moment he's cold, and the other moment he's completely broken.
So he screams, at the top of his lungs, which is interesting. Because we do see Tee cry but not much. Tee's just not a person who cries. Which, besides being very relatable, is also terrible. Why? Because crying relieves you. It helps you cope, it releases the tension from you, at least a bit. Tee not crying here means this (Non dying), unlike the guilt of what happened before with him and the gang bullying Non
(something he is allowed to shed at least a single poetic tear about) Is a burden he can't be relieved of. At least, not at that moment.
So we watch as Tee screams helplessly. And the environment is so telling. GOD, I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW
There's an empty space. Virtually nothing is there with Tee. Because, of course, he's alone in the room, we know this, but he's also alone.
No one else knows this story like Tee does. No one else has been with Non when he was a creative student trying to make a film, when there was life to him in all senses of the word and also saw his dead, lifeless body. No one else has been the cause for both Non's problems and Non's death. No one has liked Non as a friend and cared for him and watched him die without being able to do anything about it. No one in Tee's life knows what he's going through, what it feels like. No one in Tee's life is able to share his grief. And he can't escape it either.
You see that weird ass mirror there? Why is it there? There are curtains around it. But it's not a window. That's odd. But while it makes no sense decoration/architectural-wise, it makes so much sense from the point of view of symbolism.
There's no escape. Even when it really feels like there should be. Because Tee, the guy with all the solutions, should be able to find a solution, shouldn't he? Besides... We come to care so much for him and for Non... So how come there's no solution? Because, we, like these teens do to adults, naively trust the narrative. Of course, there's no solution. We all knew this from the start. We're only here because of this: Non is dead.
So, instead of a way out, a hope for something better than what's going on in that room, we get just more of it. Tee and we alike, have no escape. We're both forced to face that scene, forced to accept it. And Tee, if he dares look for that way out, will only have to face himself.
But interestingly, he never does. Tee never looks at the mirror on the wall. He doesn't even acknowledge it. Which, of course, might be a reflection (pun intended) of how he tries to pass the blame of Non's death to his uncle.
He repeatedly claims he didn't know what would happen, that he wouldn't have brought Non back if he did but... Is that true? As Perth's character (BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE, btw) says:
"You already knew, right?" Because, let's face it, it was obvious. Things could only go poorly for Non if Uncle Joe got his claws on him. Tee had to know that wouldn't end well.
So this scene also tells us that, despite deep down his immense amount of guilt telling him he is guilty of Non's death, Tee doesn't want to acknowledge it. He maintains that position, in fact, nearly all the way until the end of episode Ep.11. where he slightly changes his narrative.
He never planned to.
Right now, he's a new person. One that would not make the same mistakes as in the past but that, despite the changes, is inevitably the one who somewhere in the past did make them.
But back to the scene.
Tee is framed right in front of the blueish-grey curtains and we all know what that means, I do not need to cite the ancient scrolls. But I wanna add that grey is also:
a colour associated with sadness;
seen as a colour of death, as it is literally in greyscale, hence colourless, lifeless AND because it can also be interpreted as a mix of white and black, both of which are mourning clothes colours, depending on the culture;
a reflection of Tee's grey morality because, naturally, while we understand Tee's motivations and background, he did some pretty fucked up things that his good intentions and unhelpful help attempts cannot erase.
And then Tee finds a small paper, written by Non (in vivid blue, properly highlighting not only Non's depression but also Tee's).
And the paper reads: "I'm gonna get out of this place. I'm not a loser." And it hits him even further because Non (at least in Tee's vision, I'll leave Non's death up for debate, I'm sure people will have theories) wanted so bad to be victorious once, to succeed just once. He wanted to get a chance to live normally and it didn't happen.
This, of course, ends up shaping Tee's own path, as he meets White and gets a chance to do things "right" and as he becomes this "new person" and gets away from his uncle. But, in that moment, none of that is relevant because it hasn't happened and Tee cannot know it will, he can only know, with written proof, that he failed. And now Non's dead.
And so, in the last part of this scene, we see a more zoomed-out shot. And Tee's still alone but now we have a more clear vision of just how tiny that space is. And how he's nearly taller than the frame. How his grief is bigger than the space in which it was brought to him. But also how the weight of it, represented by the walls, is nearly crushing him. Another gigantic, and perhaps the biggest of all, responsibility on Tee's shoulders.
Furthermore, as @shannankle has marvellously described and explained in this post about sex scene framing, the framing gives us a level 3 visual gaze which is used to remind us as the audience of just how intimate and profoundly shaping of Tee this moment is: we are not supposed to be here, this moment is Tee's and Tee's alone. Because, of course, he is alone. In all senses. The access we're getting is nearly forbidden. Even to the other characters. Because they don't get to see it, they only hear about it (or we assume they do).
And, to top it all off, the cherry on top of this great scene: all of this happens while Tee is wearing his school uniform. Because, of course, it had to. Because we need to be reminded: this is a teenager. Tee, who's mourning his dead friend whose corpse he just saw and whose death is largely his fault is just a teenager.
#So yes#I might hate that Phee is apparently omniscient#but BY THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF US IN IT#do I LOVE the care and thought put into the details of this story!!!#it's so good!!#dff#dff the series#dead friend forever the series#dead friend forever#dff meta#dead friend forever meta#dead friend forever ther series meta#dff the series meta#dff tee#tee dff#dead friend forever tee#tee dead friend forever#dff the series tee#tee dff the series
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Today in Non & White/Phee & Tee parallels:
This disgust, which reverberates from White's hallucination into Tee's own hallucination, reminds me of Non reading slut-shaming Twitter posts:
Which highlights the stigmatisation of overt queer sexuality, and the idealisation of purity as opposed to "unethical" or non-monogamous sex, specifically between young, gay men. The connotation of "filthy" is obviously sexual here -- White is filthy, even diseased (the lesions...) because of the assumptions Tee makes about his fidelity. I don't think White cheated, but to me, that's not even the point. What is important here is White's anxiety about Tee's paranoia.
Tee's accusation in White's hallucination represents on a personal level what the twitter posts that Non reads represent on a systemic level -- the disgust, and the underlying fear, of deviant sexual desire. In DFF, there are several kinds of deviant sexuality: queer, non-monogamous, crossing the boundaries of hierarchy -- the latter with Keng and Non.
All three are conflated within this anxiety, there isn't a separation between Non's queerness, for example, and Keng's coercion of Non, even though there should be, because all kinds of non-normative sexuality and sex are seen as a threat against the status quo, against the importance of social reputation that mandates a certain level of "cleanliness". It's why those twitter posts at once condemn Keng for having sex with a student under 18 and, at the same time, shame Non for his perceived lack of chastity, and don't seem to see the contradiction.
It's not incidental that Non breaks so thoroughly after this video is posted, after his reputation and that of his family is irretrievably damaged, after he loses his boyfriend who is morally disgusted with him. Non, and White who is his mirror, absorb the anxiety about sexually active gay men, young gay men in particular who are perceived as especially filthy for their defying the purity associated with their youth. Phee and Tee who condemn them are also affected -- Tee's disgust is especially relevant because he fears being touched by White, by catching his disease.
The fear of being a social outcast is another reason, on top of personal betrayal, why Phee and Tee so viscerally reject Non and White, why they push them away and literally tell them to "get lost". Of course, Tee acts this way in White's hallucination because White is the one who has this once latent and now overt disgust at his own perceived deviance, which is only compounded by Tee's actual jealousy.
I don't have anything coherent to say, really, but it's worth looking into the fraught relationships among what is perceived as deviant sex/sexuality, stigmatisation of said deviance, outcasting from within and outside those spaces, and reputation/social standing/face.
#dead friend forever#dff the series#non dead friend forever#white dead friend forever#phee dead friend forever#tee dead friend forever#apologies for the terrible quality of the screenshots lmao
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Tee standing in front of a gun for White? Okay yeah, now I'm feral over these two.
White was my son, but now Tee is my bestie.
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DEAD FRIEND FOREVER | Ep 9
#deadfriendforeveredit#dffedit#dead friend forever#teewhite#tee x white#dead friend forever the series#dff the series#jjayfuaiz#horror#tvedit#*#this was so cute actually
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WHAT THE FUCK HOW DOES HAIR DO THIS HOW IS THIS THE SAME DUDE???
#dead friend forever#dear dead friend#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#jjay patiphan#I knew the actors for White and Tee were gonna get back together again#lol
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Dead Friends Forever as text posts (episodes 1-5) part 2
(Part 1)
Bonus:
#dead friend forever#dff#dff the series#pheejin#TeeWhite#Jin DFF#Phee DFF#Tee DFF#White DFF#Por DFF#Top DFF#Non DFF#DFF memes
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"since i've met white, i started knowing what happiness was"
DEAD FRIEND FOREVER - EPISODE 11
#u don't deserve happiness tee 🔪🔪🔪#put off making this for 24 hours because although the lighting is very pretty on screen it's terrible for my broken eyes#dead friend forever#jjay patiphan#fuaiz thanawat#jjayfuaiz#teewhite#whitetee#dead friend forever the series#dff the series#thai bl#boyslovesource#deadfriendforeveredit#dffedit#asiandramasource#userbeoncloud#gif
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DEAD FRIEND FOREVER || episode 11
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A Tee x White Gifset | "Don't act like you're the only two people in this world, okay?"
This is the scene that sold it to me folks. The unabashed PDA. Tee's proud and fond little smirk as he ushers White onto his lap. The fact that White looks adorably pocket-sized and at home perched there. The arm around his waist, the hand on his knee. White only has to say 'please' nicely and Tee's resistance crumbles in 0.2 seconds. Oh and we come to learn that Tee has chronic resting bitch face except for when he's looking at White.
#dead friend forever#dff#dff the series#tee x white#teewhite#jjayfuaiz#jjay patiphan#fuaiz thanawat#they kinda grew on me
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#dead friend forever#gifs#dead friend forever the series#dff the series#teewhite#tee dff#white dff#usersasa#uservix#userbon#userblmpff#not a shipper tee still sucks but this was cute#i feel bad for tee but what he did was Terrible so#fuaiz thanawat#jjay patiphan#naomivents#dff.gif
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Dead Friend Forever (2023) 1x11
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There's something absolutely hilarious about an alleged ghost running away with your scooter
#a ghost stealing your scooter was probably not on tees' list of things that may happen to you#neither was it in our when we signed up to watch it#but here we are#dead friend forever#dff the series#thai bl#bl series
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Echoes of Guilt: Exploring the Thin Line Between Tee's Redemption and Salvation in Dead Friend Forever, Episode 11
This week, I'm really enjoying what DFF is trying to say about the humanity in making shitty choices and having to live with the outcome. The framing of Tee's journey, about how in trying to survive the hell he's in with his father, he inadvertently causes Non's death, gives a reason to why he makes the decisions that he does, rather than excusing them. Arguably, this was never supposed to be Tee's redemption arc, rather it's the story of his salvation and reformation.
Non isn't meant to be an ingénue in this story. He's flawed and he makes some bad decisions, but he's still a victim. Yes, Non has, to a degree, had his own autonomy digging himself further into the shithole, but in the end, his actions were all reactions to an already existing shithole that he was forced into. While the bullying may have not started with Tee, man, did the kid know exactly how to lay a trap and let others burn in it. He was calculating, so much more than his peers, likely because he has been dealing with shitty adults in his own personal life. Before White, Tee was turning into the terrible adults that he was surrounded by. This episode is explicitly showing the journey of Tee's realization of the consequences of his actions and his attempt to change while still dealing with a dirty past.
The misdirection of the Redemption Arc in Tee's story
First things first, the redemption arc deals with the characterization of a deep internal struggle within the character. A character undergoing a redemption arc deals with personal guilt, remorse and the desire for atonement. The redemption journey is usually initiated by the character themselves after being confronted with their flaws or wrongdoings. Broken down into steps, a redemption arc typically involve: (1) a flaw, (2) acknowledgement of the effect of their actions, (3) seeking atonement, (4) struggles with guilt or remorse, (5) significant growth because of their struggles, (6) tangible manifestations of their acts of redemption, (7) seeking forgiveness. A redemption arc typically resolves when the character achieves some form of personal redemption, whether it be through forgiveness, closure, or inner peace. Redemption arcs emphasize personal responsibility and the inner journey of the character.
The reality is that Tee doesn't redeem himself. He never has the opportunity to because Non dies two weeks after Tee delivered him to Uncle Joe. Non's dead (as far as Tee and we, as an audience,know so far). Sure, Tee was working towards redemption, with his several attempts to save Non from his Uncle's grasp, but he'll never reach redemption because Non is gone. He doesn't even get the chance to seek forgiveness, nor I'm sure that he needs any forgiveness from Non. The guilt that is consuming him, the realization and acceptance of how much pain he has caused a fellow human being is not redemption, it's remorse. And you first have to have remorse to find the road to redemption. So while episode 11 might have shown that Tee was starting on his redemption arc, by the end of the episode, he's still not redeemed. In comparison to all the pain that he has caused, working a second job to help Non get out of the debt he caused doesn't erase the extent of harassments and suffering he subjected Non to. Here, the story was never truly centered on Tee's journey to atone for the pain he caused Non but rather it seems to make it a point to show his guilt. That's not redemption.
Also just from a writing stand point, Non's confrontation, and ultimately, Tee's decision to attempt to get Non out of being his Uncle's slave is part of Tee's progression, but is not the climax of his story. Even if you consider Tee's emerging guilt after realizing that his uncle was planning to sell Non for body parts, it's only serves as a catalyst for Tee to realize and confront the pain he has caused. The true change that we see in Tee comes the moment he meets White. White's presence is the turning point in Tee's life, that makes him want to change.
The initiation of Tee's Salvation Arc
The Salvation arc of a character focuses more on the development on the relationship between the "savior" and the one in need of salvation. Particularly, this arc highlights the external forces that shape a character's transformation, leading to a new direction or purpose in life. The resolution often involves the one in need of salvation finding a sense of change, sometimes without ever fully achieving complete redemption. Both arcs deal with the change and growth in a character, yet while the redemption arc often leads to a cathartic resolution where the character finds peace or closer, the salvation arc focuses more on external influences and the power of compassion. This arc doesn't particularly signify that that the character will fully find true redemption. Instead the character may become reformed having changed into a better person and acknowledged their wrongdoing, but not particularly working to make amends for their past mistakes.
No person exists in isolation and Tee's change is interconnected with White's appearance. Tee frames it himself. "Since I met White, I started knowing what happiness is. I started having my goal. Wanting to start over. I wanted to become a better person." That very moment is the climax in Tee's story, the moment where Tee needed to make a critical choice of who he wanted to be. Every moment that he had to witness Non's suffering and ultimately come to the realization that he is in large part the reason for Non's death is a lesson that he's learned of has shown him who he no longer wants to be. Non is the journey, but it's only assists in Tee's growth, making him ready to be a better person for the moment that he meets White.
Tee was going to stew in the regret and remorse he felt for Non's death, but Tee wasn't making amends FOR him. He was stagnant. He accepted his culpability and thought that being unhappy would be the proper punishment that he deserved. Yet, he didn't seek to right the wrongs, he didn't reach out to Non's family to let them know their baby boy had died in obscurity. That is a far cry from atonement and redemption. Instead, White gave him new purpose and direction in life. Humans are always capable of change, it's just depends on an individual's want or need to do so. Dead Friend Forever seems to be making a message about how even though Tee has the capacity for growth, change, and healing, Tee still has to respond for the pain and hurt he caused beyond Non.
Final Thoughts
While a redemption arc holds many similarities with that of a salvation arc, the exploration of the complexities of human nature are done through two distinct lenses. I don't think Dead Friend Forever is trying to focus on Tee's personal responsibility and inner struggles while ignoring the damage that he did to Non, but rather seems to be making a stand on the effect of external influence and finding personal salvation from connections with others. The very thing that Non had always been denied by Tee and the others, human connections.
Salvation arcs don't automatically make a character likeable, which DFF seems to be aware of, so I don't think it's an attempt to make him another version of a hero for Non. Rather it lays a foundation to Tee, showing his own struggles with his family, his own flaws, and his own attempt at change. It explains Tee's incentives behind his actions, but doesn't create an excuse for them. It not a redemption story, because he doesn't redeem himself. Non's dead and he can't ask for forgiveness from a ghost. His salvation doesn't even come after Non dies, because his inaction after Non's death was still an action. He still takes part in denying Non proper rest, even in death. His change came after where he learned from his wrongs and chooses to no longer do any more harm because of White. Even so, he still played a role in the complete devastation that he caused Non's family. Tee's actions caused a domino effect, where he eventually had a hand in creating New's pain, thirst and revenge.
As Tee has undergone his salvation arc, it highlights the irreversible consequences of his actions and the cycle of violence and retribution. Tee was a victim of his circumstance. Yet, victims can still create more victims. Despite Tee's efforts to change, it's a change that occurred far too late. Tee's death at New's hands would be an end to a cycle of violence and retribution that Tee inadvertently set in motion. If Tee dies in an attempt to save White, his willingness to sacrifice himself for White will represent a departure from the violence that defined his past. Ultimately, I think it underscores the harsh reality that, despite efforts to seek forgiveness or become a changed man, some sins cannot be undone.
(tagging @slayerkitty for DFF's meta roundup)
#dead friend forever#dff the series#dff meta#dff spoilers#dff ep 11#dead friend forever the series#dff non#dff tee#dff white#thai bl#thai bl meta#barcode tinnasit#mio athens#jjay patiphan#be on cloud#boc actors#boc meta#ta nannakun#dff phee#dff jin#dff new#dff tan#dff theory#dff top#us nititorn#bump pawat#copper phuriwat#fuaiz thanawat
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I am totally in the "Non is still alive" clown car, if anyone cares to join.
He's the character at the center of everything, so for his death to happen off-screen feels off. Sure, this is Tee's flashback, so that was his perspective, but it feels weird to me.
They did work to set it up with Non showing signs of internal injury, but to me it feels more red herring than foreshadowing.
This dude right here. That is a sus shot if ever I saw one.
If the uncle talking to him was just for purposes of exposition, why highlight his face and this expression here?
We still have to know what Perth's deal is. Why introduce a character this late? Why did he get so much attention this episode? What's the point of him being there?
Non has been through some shit, and made some bad choices, but he's also not dumb. The uncle and his other employees are not exactly geniuses.
We don't know for sure where they're going with the theme of the show, but for Non to die in this way is pretty anti-climatic. I just think it would be interesting if everyone else is trapped in this violence and chaos, while he's moved on. It says a lot more about the choices we make, and how they revisit us down the line.
I am fully prepared to be wrong, as I am in all theories, but I do admit it will feel unsatisfying to me if this is the final stop for Non.
#dead friend forever#dead friend forever the series#focusing on theory so I stop feeling sad about Tee and his dad#regardless of the end these boys are acting their asses off
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DEAD FRIEND FOREVER | Ep 11
#deadfriendforeveredit#dffedit#dead friend forever#teewhite#tee x white#dead friend forever the series#dff the series#jjayfuaiz#usersasa#userrlaura#userbon#tvedit#horror#*#sending my therapy bills to that magenta wall
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Dead Friend Forever EP 1 (Tee x White)
#dead friend forever#DFF#DFF ep1#episodio 1#estreno#boys love#series bl#thai bl#couple bl#boys kissing#kiss bl#asian bl series#tee x white#jj patiphan#fuaiz thanawat#BOC#boy kiss boy
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