#technically I wouldn't even need it to be a long term happy ever after

[canisalbus]

im so glad that vasco whisked machete away from everything (in denial) and took him to florence where they lived happily ever after (im denial) and im glad alonso wasnt ever mean to anyone (in denail) and and and (explodes) (this is a joke but also i wanted to say i love ur work and ur ocs :).)

;v;

You know, every now and then I think about that potential alternate ending, a scenario where things come close to falling apart but somehow the final blow is avoided, very narrowly. And maybe the bad times have taken their toll, they've changed for worse irrepairably and have to learn to live with themselves now, but it's comforting to think that there could be some light at the end of the tunnel for them, some kind of karmic reward. That after years of living on survival mode they get some peace and succeed in buying a little bit more time for themselves.

I've grown sappy and as much as I veer towards and appreciate good tragedy, sometimes it simply feels earned when characters somehow manage to save themselves and each other from a hopeless situation right at the end, even if it's a little cliche and unrealistic. It's nice to daydream about that.

It's just hard to figure out how that aforementioned whisking away could be arranged though. They're pretty backed into a corner as far as I'm concerned.

[raeflora]

Hi, I think you're a GG fan too, I'm wondering about something. For example, it was obvious that she loved Chuck when she was with Dan and Louis, but Chuck acted like he completely forgot about Blair with Eva and Raina, so it seems like it casts a shadow over his love for CB, what do you think? He said to blair 4×4 "eva changed me" or make a room for raina on Valentine day. "You're sacred to me"

I know He loved blair the most. But If it couldn't happen with Blair, he was ready for other alternatives.

hi!! yes I'm v much a gg fan sksfjkdk so ur in the right place 💕💕 so I don't think he exactly forgot about blair with eva or raina. with eva he ultimately wasn't his true self, yes he claimed she changed him but it wasn't really him, he became henry prince and it was more that he had the freedom to become the kind of man he felt was more worthy of having a good life than it being just eva's impact, and that after everything that happened he didn't want to be himself anymore. I think with eva he was trying to be something he's not, and actually his relationship with blair enabled him to be more open and affectionate as he was romantic and loving with her. also after eva leaves he doesn't really think of her much. yes that's why he starts the war with blair but as she pointed out he was still clinging onto his henry prince dream which wasn't what he truly wanted and that simple life wouldn't have really been sustainable for him, and he's actually the one to say I love you first to blair in 4x09 so he forgot about eva and his revenge plan pretty quickly bc blair's the one he truly loves. him calling raina sacred always felt ooc to me, I think he did like her but I don't think they could've lasted long. at the time she was kind of what blair was aspiring to be and, as chair put their relationship on hold purely so blair could become powerful in her own right, I think she was a good fit for chuck and blair did feel threatened by her bc of this. however, he still openly schemes with blair and mentions her plan so he hasn't forgotten her, rather he's found someone who he needs to seduce for his business to continue and ends up having an actual connection with. that being said, he knows raina's temporary and he clearly doesn't envisage a long term future with her bc he knows blair's still around. aside from one or two lines where he's kinda annoyed at nate for dating her so soon he doesn't actually seem to have a problem with it and moves on from her quickly, much like his initial anger over eva leaving fades quite quickly. the only times he ever actually tries to move on from blair are when it's what he thinks she wants or needs, and even while she's with dan he's still technically waiting for her to sort herself out so they can finally be together. 5x24 is the only time he says he needs to move on with his life without her, and that's only bc he's sick of waiting while she's with dan. he waits for a year for her only for her to jerk him around, and obviously he can't put his life on hold for her forever. I wanna take a minute to say that the idea of blair being able to date who she wants while chuck has to wait is so unfair, bc she's stringing him along when she knows who she really wants to be with. I think that although chuck could have been with an alternative woman he ultimately wouldn't have wanted anyone else as much as blair, and he wouldn't have been as happy

[vanikolya]

Idea: armed detective agency sigma x reader who works the night shift

cw: none

reader info: any pronouns, no gendered terms used

notes: fun fact! in my friends group chat, i have to say "sigma bsd" instead of just "sigma" or my friend mari will post gifs of sigma overwatch. also thanks for your request! i adore ada!sigma fr

ADA!SIGMA WITH A READER WHO WORKS THE NIGHT SHIFT

honestly the two of you only properly met by chance, he'd seen you around every now and then of course but nothing really to warrant anything more than conversations about work

however, sigma happened to be staying late to finish up some work on a day you were working

an unexpected shock for you ngl, expecting everyone to be gone by the time you showed up and then just seeing a whole guy still sitting there

if he scared you he feels really bad and will apologise a few times 😭

i'm imagining a night shift at the agency as like; finishing up any odd jobs that weren't finished during the day, doing any outstanding paperwork and organising, honestly mostly just a role created so there would be people in the office at night to call people in in case of a mafia attack

so generally pretty slow. and kind of boring ngl, especially when having to do it alone

ever diligent with his work, sigma sits in a comfortable silence with you as you each do your own tasks, but when he's done and about to go home, he stops to ask if it's just you on this shift, and offers to stay and keep you company since he's not working tomorrow, so staying up wouldn't be so bad

bro insists fr

he helps you with your work where he's able to, and by the time it's done and you're technically just there in the case of an emergency, you start talking and getting to know each other

kunikida (yes he is always the first in in a morning don't tell me otherwise) sees sigma leaving with you when your shift is over and bros baffled god help this man

sigma probably booked himself a lecture of "ok doing extra for your job is good and shows enthusiasm but that doesn't mean taking an extra shift unannounced and unpaid straight after your actual shift thats not good for you" from kunikida with that stunt but oh well

becomes a weekly thing that he'll just join you for that shift since he isn't working the next day

likes walking you home to the silly little agency provided apartments at the end of the shift- eventually, after you've gotten to know each other enough for that to not be strange

at some point he ends up telling you about his old casino, opening up about how he still sometimes struggles with trust despite the ada having been a safe space for him, and how he's thankful that he's been able to make friends with you and that you both enjoy spending time together

anyway so not long after that little heart to heart about being good friends you start dating- SJDJFJ

i don't think he's the type of person to make a big deal out of the fact you're dating- like no big announcement, not really any announcement. it's not really something he wants to keep secret he just doesn't want to seem like he's showing off

the only people on his shift who know are probably atsushi (sigma and atsushi are besties don't tell me otherwise), ranpo (because of course he would) and dazai- i feel like sigma would mention it to dazai after some time but he already would have known bc idk he seems really good at picking up on things he'd probably clock how happy sigma is about things to do with you etc

he gets super worried and goes to like stay with you if he hears that like someone tried to infiltrate the agency while you were on shift

like even if he knows you're not hurt. he wants to stay with you to make sure you feel safe and not alone

if you are hurt though? he's so gentle and caring. if it's not something so bad that you'd need yosano's treatment, he'll do everything he can to look after you until you're better

he's never really done this before but he's trying his best. and it's also really sweet and wholesome ;u;

someone needs to give him back the several guns he used to own (i still think it's hilarious that he's randomly pulled out 3 guns in the manga so far) though so he can protect you if someone breaks in when you're on shift together

i feel like stay at home dates would be common, they're easier to do with little to no planning and are generally more spontaneous which fits your conflicting work schedules

sigma also doesn't want you to be too tired out by going on a day out and be tired for your shift 😭

baking probably cookies, cuddling while watching a film, etc

he'd probably also stay over with you a lot, not too much to be overbearing, but still often. as due to work schedules he wants to make the most out of free time- when you're willing- to spend time with each other

just, like.. you're there. and you're probably the first person he's been with, and there's just something comforting about being able to be with you (he's touch starve-)

[astercontrol]

my essential job (pharmacy tech data entry) was also an office job and i am absolutely in agreement that i did not get the worst of it. stuff like warehouse and retail jobs must have been absolute hell then.

and a data entry job would have actually been my dream, if it wasn't also a call-center job at the same time

nobody was happy. especially the nurses calling us (their job was absolutely worse than ours, enough for their misery to overflow into our world). we had almost no resources to help them. if the tech receiving a call couldn't figure out a solution to a problem there was no one to ask. the pharmacists would also be on phone calls or otherwise busy enough to scream at you if you asked a question.

phones were constantly ringing. CONSTANTLY. nearly all the callers were nurses in long-term-care facilities. often calling about coverage problems that were the insurance company's fault, or missed orders that were their own fault, or calling long after the cutoff to demand a last-minute next-day shipment. the delivery run would get pushed well into overnight, and I was told I could not leave between when the last pharmacist left and when the overnight team arrived, even if that meant working hours and hours of overtime

the manager would yell at us for accepting orders after cutoff and she'd yell at us for NOT accepting orders after cutoff, there was absolutely no consistent rule that you wouldn't eventually get reprimanded for following

I am VERY sure we didn't get all the overtime pay we should have. there was 1 person working in finance and her entire mission in life was to pinch every penny to maximize profits. she kept the toilet paper cabinet under lock and key. we got pay automatically deducted for a 30-minute break even if we didn't take it, and she openly said that she increased the deduction if she thought she saw someone taking a too-long break. if she had that kind of power I am certain she abused it as much as she could get away with

we were technically allowed breaks but it was the sort of workplace where the "best" employees worked through all their breaks and snarked at anyone who didn't (because any time less than 100% of people were on deck, calls went unanswered, meaning patients ultimately went without meds)

i stopped taking breaks at all, and the boss obviously must have known it because she called me into her office saying she'd been watching me at my desk on the surveillance tapes. but she did not mention my lack of breaks, only the fact that she sometimes saw me staring at my screen zoning out and not typing, which was a problem and i needed to shape up

when I left I had $600 worth of vacation time i hadn't gotten to use and I didn't cash it out because they wouldn't let me unless I'd signed an outrageous form that included non-disparagement and agreeing to testify for the company if they ever went to court (and also included a clause that said the contract was binding on me but not on the company, so who knows if they'd have even given me their $600 side of the deal). my roommate read through it and went off to look up how many laws it was breaking and came back to me with 40% of his remaining faith in humanity gone, telling me sorry but this is legal in pennsylvania

(the absolute only thing that i think was good about the fact that i lived in pennsylvania in 2020 was that it was a swing state, so my vote probably came closer to having an actual influence on the 2020 election than it did any of the years i've voted in blue states. other than that the whole experience was absolute ass. but NOT the worst experience anyone had. not by a damn long shot)

im not saying office jobs aren’t bad in some ways but its always very telling when people treat it like the WORST job at the bottom of the rung…because they have never had to face manual labor as a real option they would ever be forced to take.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Which couple marry first hinny or romoine in your opinion? Please do share.

Can I just say that I love that "please do share"? It makes me feel important.

OK, now, about the ask...

Short answer: Harry and Ginny

There are several circumstantial reasons but there's one in particular that I believe to be the essential point and weirdly enough I've never seen anyone bring it up. So, without further ado, let's start with the long answer:

The circumstantial reasons are these (to understand some of the following points it's necessary to remember that we are working on a pretty small window of years. James Sirius was born in 2004 and the first year after the war Ginny and Hermione were at Hogwarts):

Harry and Ginny have basically a whole year over Ron and Hermione. While they were technically broken up for several months, they were emotionally together. When they got back together, the romantic dynamic was not something new that they explored for the first time. And even the first time around they fell into it extremely easily. We also see that after nearly a year apart, they are still perfectly in tune with Harry who needs one single look to make Ginny calm down. Ron and Hermione get together in an extremely complicated time and, while having feelings for each other for years, they are also both people with a tendency to overthink, so there might be some awkwardness at the start (obviously it would be much easier to make a correct assumption on this if we ever saw how they interact alone).

Ginny and Hermione go back to Hogwarts. While for sure not easy for Harry and Ginny, we already know that they dealt with a year apart in the worst possible conditions, they also display a secure attachment style. Ron and Hermione are far from used to being apart, their romantic relationship is newer, and they do not display a secure attachment style (even if I like to believe that they eventually gained some of that maturity), so it's pretty easy to imagine how that year of long-distance relationship was far more difficult to manage for them.

Marriage is not something far away from Harry's mind. In DH we have him imagining Ginny in a wedding dress, addressing her as his family, then there's the whole death sequence with the comparison between the family he'll have in death and the one he can have living. Ginny's declarations between the end of HBP and the start of DH all point to an everlasting love that she is comfortable labeling as such out loud. All of this while Ron and Hermione are still playing the "you love me, you love me not" game.

Harry and Ginny had Teddy to set them already in a domestic mood. If a Teddy of age spends four dinners a week with the Potters, imagine how much time he spent with them as a child. Not that children and marriage need to be necessarily connected but they are undeniably on the same line of thinking, especially for two people who want both marriage and babies and have a romantic streak. Ginny is far more explicitly romantic than Harry, but I think we can all agree that Harry "her blush is like the setting sun" Potter is a closeted romantic.

Hermione is not exactly someone that I would call family-oriented seeing how little time she spends with her parents. She obviously is enough to get married and have children but what we know about her character suggests that they wouldn't be a short-term priority for her.

In the most likely correct assumption that Hermione's parents weren't too happy about being shipped off to Australia without their consent and that Hermione cared about healing her relationship with them, it would be reasonable for Hermione to find it necessary to keep the family dynamic stable for some years. Especially considering that, despite it all, she still goes back for her last year at Hogwarts separating herself from them once again.

Harry and Ginny started having children sooner. Obviously, it's pure statistic here.

I think that Ron and Hermione dancing around each other for a million years proves quite clearly that Harry and Ginny are far more impulsive people.

Also: I've seen some people say that Ginny would want to wait a while to get married to affirm her independence or something like that but when exactly did Ginny Weasley, who took the surname Potter and decided for a career change to have more time with her children, ever gave you the impression that she would take such decisions on how others might or might not perceive her? Or that Harry's fame is something she struggles with and wants to avoid like the plague? Doesn't it sound a lot more like Ginny saying "I'm gonna destroy all your arses on the Quidditch pitch and I'm going to do it with whatever surname I prefer"? Plus, I might add that it didn't take much time for Ginny to become famous in her own right. According to Rowling, Ginny was a celebrated Quidditch player. Considering that she played for only four/five years but also simply how the careers of great athletes work, if she weren't a first-string player when she entered the team (but she most likely was) then she became one during her first year playing.

Now these were all points that suggest that Harry and Ginny would marry sooner but there is one very specific reason that I think gives us pretty much certainty on the answer:

Marriage is not just about how much you love each other. There's a very strong economic component to it.

Harry and Ginny are, to put it very plainly, rich. Harry has both the Potter and Black fortunes and, even if I highly doubt they lived there after they got married, he has already a house at Grimmauld Place. Ginny is a celebrated professional Quidditch player who plays in an elitist team. In short, she instantly made a lot of money. Add to this that between being a great player, and conventionally good-looking, she probably sold an insane amount of merch. Yeah, Ginny was loaded even without Harry's money.

Ron and Hermione have normal jobs. Hermione having two parents that are dentists was definitely from a family who was comfortable money-wise but there's no indication of her being a trust-found baby. Ron was an Auror for two years (it's not clear if it's meant as the three years of training plus two years or just two years) and then he went to work with George. Now, if it was only two years, training included: while we know that the twins could afford things they would've never dreamed to afford before, it's always in comparison to what the Weasleys could afford. At the end of the day, they are still two young men who have to provide only for themselves and live in the little apartment above their shop. This is to say that, while the business is successful, they are not rich (the shop was also probably closed for a while). Now, for the life of me, I can't imagine Ron Weasley, who throughout the series is so sensitive towards money, being ok with marriage without being 100% sure of having the economic safety to afford a house and to provide an economically comfortable life for eventual children. Also, even with less money apprehension, Hermione probably had an entire plan with goals to reach before taking every important life step. If there's something that Ron, the chess master, and Hermione, the organization obsessed, have in common is that they think things through a lot, which is what brings them to occasionally overthink.

This said, I still think that Ron and Hermione married before James Sirius was born, I don't think they married a lot of years after Harry and Ginny. Rose is after all just two years younger than James. Even if the idea of Ron and Hermione dealing with an unplanned out-of-wedlock baby is hilarious.

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch.10

Ch1 ch2 ch3 ch4 ch5 ch6 ch7 ch8 ch9

Summary: scary moms are scary

---

Nicole stilled.

Moms.

Well this just got a million times worse.

Surprisingly enough, Nicole could count on her fingers the times she had crossed paths with either of the Ladies. Lady Dimitrescu was often busy and not bothering with the staff. Most things that needed communicated went through the Steward. Mistress Esteria was, as some would call her, a ghost. She preferred her solitude or time with family so it wasn't unheard of for new staff members to take months before they even see her around the castle. Paired with Nicole's job that had her in the dungeons almost all the time, she never got an actual introduction to either of them.

Not that she complained. It didn't take a genius to realize that both women were to be feared.

I think I'd like to bleed out now.

"What about?" Her voice was barely audible, due to fear or pain was anyone's guess.

"... I don't know." Cassandra's quiet voice mimicked her own.

"Should I assume it is about your um… choice of partners?"

The realization that, to anyone outside Cassandra, she was little more than a maid turned butcher hit Nicole almost as much as the bullet that until not long ago was wedged into her flesh. Would they forbid Cassandra from seeing her? Or perhaps decide that Nicole has committed an unspeakable offense to their family and punish her? She gulped and Cassandra's reply wasn't of much help either.

"I don't know," she repeated.

Nicole sighed, a slow drawn out exhale, all too aware of the pain it would cause otherwise. "When?"

"Soon. They told me to let them know when you wake up."

Nicole just nodded and laid back into the cushions. May as well be comfortable before facing death. But Cassandra didn't move. Instead, she interlocked their fingers and brought Nicole's hand to her lips, leaving a kiss on bony knuckles. They stayed like that, silently, for a full minute before Cassandra got up and, with a be right back, exited the room.

Left alone, Nicole looked down at herself once more. To say she looked awful was an understatement. Definitely not going to rely on appearance to make a good impression. The painkiller was also yet to do its job and any movement still shot jolts of pain through her body. Wonderful.

It wasn't long before the door opened again and Cassandra came in followed by Lady Dimitrescu, her trademark hat making her look even taller and more intimidating than she already was. Immediately behind, Mistress Esteria took light steps, her long white hair flowing behind her like a silky mantle.

They looked so in contrast with each other, and it went beyond the almost opposite color schemes. While the Lady had the expression of a mother about to scold her child for carelessly running up the stairs and scraping a knee, the Mistress looked about to take out the bandaids. Her eyes, blue and gray, looked at her with something akin to kindness.

"What's your name dear?"

God her voice sounded like rivers deep in the forest. Flowing and ancient and just as powerful as she probably was.

"Nicole," she gulped.

The Mistress came to a stop right by the bed, tall frame bending down and grabbing Nicole's chin between two fingers. She moved her head from one side to the other and hummed.

"My my, what a pretty face. You've always had quite the taste in women, love." She looked at Cassandra who only nodded stiffly.

Then, she was up again and moving towards the other matriarch, who by now was sitting in an armchair. The Mistress leaned on the armrest, opting to ignore the many other places to sit and Nicole had to wonder for a moment if they were the clingy type. What an oddly human trait.

A long drag of a cigarette was drawn out before golden eyes finally fell on Nicole and the Lady spoke.

"I was actually surprised to learn about how… deeply Cassandra cares about you. To actually come to me and ask for help saving your life." She narrowed her eyes slightly, just enough for it to be a clear warning. "I sure hope such kindness was not wasted on you."

Sensing where this conversation was going, Nicole groaned internally. Of all things, she would rather not have the break my daughter's heart and I'll break your legs conversation with Cassandra's mothers while a damn hole in her abdomen was still sending waves of pain through her body if she didn't move just right. In her defense, the painkiller was yet to kick in and there's only so much holding her tongue she can do while in pain.

"With all due respect my Ladies, I'd rather throw myself off the highest tower in this castle than pretend to love Cassandra. Have you met her."

That got a snort from the brunette, who quickly masked it with a cough. The Mistress however laughed. A melodic laugh that, in another situation, would be the most soothing thing.

"Oh dear. While the reassurance is appreciated, we do trust Cassandra's judgement."

"For the most part," Lady Dimitrescu added, eyes still narrowed.

"And we would love to have you for dinner soon," the Mistress went on, ignoring the small glare from her wife.

Another drag of the cigarette. "Well anyways. We didn't come here for a welcoming party. We'd like to make you a proposal."

Judging by Cassandra's furrowed brows, she probably knew as little about this as Nicole did. A proposal from Lady Dimitrescu could either be wonderful news or a death sentence. She couldn't help a gulp when the Lady continued.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do care about my staff. At least those who prove themselves useful." The cigarette was finally done and now Nicole had the luck of having her full attention. "And, as you may have guessed, medical training is not particularly common around here. I do happen to want a castle physician, a position that could be filled by someone skilled that also has a good reason to do a good job and be loyal to my family."

Wait what-

Nicole blinked in confusion, an expression mimicked by Cassandra. Did she mean…?

Lady Dimitrescu raised an eyebrow. "Do you accept?"

"Y- yes." The words spilled from her mouth without a second thought. And why would she have second thoughts after all?

Lady Dimitrescu watched her for a long moment. Then, when she seemed pleased with her findings, she rose to her feet.

"Very well. We will discuss the technicalities once you're in a better state. Now try not to bleed out before you even start your job. And," she sighed, "you are expected at dinner as soon as you're able to join us."

The last part caused her wife's lips to turn into a warm smile. The Lady simply turned around and ducked out of the room while Mistress Esteria lingered by Cassandra. She whispered something only the brunette could hear and then leaned in to kiss her forehead. The Mistress had a couple inches on Cassandra, which meant she was towering over Nicole. Then, with a smile in her direction, she too was out of the room, leaving only the two of them to stare at the door in disbelief.

"Well that went… well."

"Oh for the love of Mother Miranda," Cassandra sighed in relief, hands running through her hair.

Her shoulders lost their tension when she came to sit by Nicole's side, a smile now present on thin black lips.

"Your mothers seem… lovely women."

"Shut up you were scared shitless."

There goes Nicole's attempt at being polite. Not that Cassandra was wrong by all means, but part of her wanted to be on good terms with her lover's family. Maybe it was simply due to her relationship with the brunette, maybe it was due to how her own family never seemed to care much for each other. Not the way the Dimitrescus did, despite how they were seen as monsters by most outside eyes. She didn't let herself dwell on it, instead she took one of Cassandra's hands and started to play with slender fingers.

"Are you hungry? I can ask Cynthia to fix something for you."

Nicole smiled at the effort to make her feel better. She would never get tired of seeing Cassandra's caring and gentle side, especially when she knew how ruthless she could be otherwise.

"In a bit. I'm waiting for the painkiller to fully kick in so I can actually sit up."

Cassandra nodded and looked to the side, seemingly lost in some kind of thought. Nicole wanted to ask what got the brunette pensive all of a sudden, but before she could, golden eyes snapped back to her.

"Also. Don't you dare jump in front of a bullet for me ever again. It wouldn't have hurt me anywhere near as much as it hurt you."

There was a subtle growl in her voice that would have scared any other person. But Nicole recognized how the anger was just veiled worry at how much worse their situation could’ve gotten.

"Sorry. I just saw him with the gun and panicked." There was a reason she didn't pursue her father's idea of becoming a surgeon after all, and pissing him off was only part of it. "And I'm glad you didn't get hurt at all."

Cassandra narrowed her eyes, but her expression quickly softened. The big bad sadist couldn’t stay mad at her lover and Nicole almost teased her about it, but a gloved hand slowly caressing her cheek stopped her.

“I’m just happy you’re alive.”

[senterya]

It's been an absolute joy reading people's takes on the OC interview that has been floating around recently.

The idea of a Pale Rose interview (read: Fyarh and Nym dragging ex-courtier Reln into this) sounded so oddly entertaining that I wrote it for myself for fun but it turned out... surprisingly okay? So I'm gonna leave it here.

OC Interview: Pale Rose edition

(Draw (or use an old drawing, don’t worry!) or take a screen of your character in an interview setting and make them answer the following questions!)

1. Can you introduce yourself?

Fyarh: Sure. I’m Fyarh, founder and – formally – leader of Pale Rose. I’m also the head of the Dreamers’ division in our guild. (turns to the other two) And they are Nymeleia and Reln, head of the Soundless and Courtiers, respectively.

Nymeleia: (with a wide smile) Glad to be here!

Reln: (remains silent – just nods a little)

2. What is your gender identity, orientation, and relationship status?

Fyarh: (after a few seconds of thinking) I’m male, maybe prefer others who identify as that too? Didn’t think too much about it before.

Nymeleia: I’m looking both ways. I’m female and taken, you could say.

Reln: Why is this even– (exhales) ...I’m male, I don’t care what my partner identifies as. And my relationships are not for the public to chew on.

3. Where and when were you born?

Nymeleia: Back in the Grove, all of us. I awoke at Dawn and the boys are both Night blooms.

4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

Fyarh: I’m best at stealth and surprise – daggers work just fine with that. If it’s an open confrontation, I prefer a light sword that doesn’t hinder my agility. But I’m trained and still training in hand-to-hand combat too.

Nymeleia: I was trained at the Vigil to be the shield, not the spearhead of the attack. I stay behind and make sure nothing hits that shouldn’t. I utilize shades and magic so technically I don’t need a weapon – a staff or scepter can help, though. I also carry a dagger on me, just in case.

Reln: I’m best with a bow. Two-handed sword if it comes to that. But whatever does the job, really.

5. Lastly, are you happy?

Fyarh: (smiles and glances at the others) I am. I’m on the path my Wyld Hunt laid out to me and I got great allies and friends that are with me every step I take. I’m truly grateful for that.

Nymeleia: (with a soft smile) I feel like I found my calling here. I’m working on a cause and with people that are amazing. I’m pretty happy with that, yes.

(both look over to Reln)

Reln: (after a few seconds of silence, with a cynical smile) Are we just supposed to say yes or no to that? Like happiness is that easy to define. (he glances to the side for a second.) But it’s been better here. Take that as a yes.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Fyarh: The guild is the closest I have to a family in a sense you ask. I think? I’m on good terms with everyone – luckily, I mean... (he laughs a little nervously) ...it’s as it should be.

Nymeleia: I’m with Fyarh on this one. The sylvari in Rose are the closest people to me.

Reln: It really is pointless to ask sylvari about “family” – we’re all technically related, but are strangers at the same time.

Nymeleia: (with a smile she barely tries to hide) You are dodging the question.

Reln: I’m not dodging anything, I’m being reasonable. I have close friends, and allies – call that a family, if you want to.

2. Have you ever run away from home?

Nymeleia: We’re all sort of runaways, aren’t we? (she laughs) I’m Soundless, I left the Grove quite early, then joined the Vigil. Does that count?

Fyarh: It counts. But just so that you don’t feel left out. (Nymeleia gasps and mimics trying to kick him in the shin, they both laugh. Takes them a few more seconds to get back on track.)

Fyarh: I used to sneak away a lot when I was supposed to be in lectures. I loved discovering Caledon, I knew every corner of it so well when I was a sapling. Maybe I’d still remember if I walked around.

Reln (after everyone looks at him): ...I’m from the Court. I think that’s self-explanatory.

Fyarh: But didn’t you also wander away a lot?

Reln: You could say. I preferred being alone. Hunting was a good excuse.

3. Would you consider marriage or having children?

Fyarh: In the far future, maybe? I’m still very young though, and my hands are full with my guild and my Hunt. It’s definitely not something I think about a lot.

Nymeleia: Marriage sounds cute – I like the idea of honoring commitment with a little ceremony.

Reln: Neither of those seems to be for me.

Nymeleia: (quietly) Ah, my heart.

(Reln glances at her, but doesn’t respond.)

4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Fyarh and Nymeleia: No...?

Reln: (slightly annoyed) Is it even a friend if you hate them? Next question.

5. Which friend knows everything about you?

Fyarh: Maybe Daleien? We've known each other for the longest, and he was with me through thick and thin. Nowadays I share a lot with Nym and Reln too. I used to be very secretive about myself but I’m working on it.

Nymeleia: We chat and gossip a lot with Dia – she’s another Soundless from the guild. She’s lovely and so supportive, I’m really glad I have her.

Reln: I’m not the one to share everything about myself. But my second-in-command knows the most.

Nymeleia: Oh don’t listen to him. He and Lavan technically read each other’s minds – no words, just half a gesture, and they know all they need to know.

ASKED BY FANS

1. Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fyarh: I’m literate, and I’ve been mentored as much – well, maybe a little less – than any other sylvari.

Nymeleia: I actually struggled with reading and writing for a while – I could, just not well, as I never really had to. Paperwork has been a nightmare for the first months in Rose, but by now I got the hang of it. I’ve been reading a lot of novels recently, too.

Reln: I’m literate, and was mentored like all other saplings. The latter didn’t reach its purpose, though.

2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

(They all look at each other, but neither of them seems to have an answer or anything they’d be willing to share.)

3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

Fyarh: Oh. I somehow never really talked about my Wyld Hunt in.... sufficient detail to my mentors? Not before the Wardens arrested me for hiding thorn pups in a forsaken outpost. It was a real journey talking my way out from there. One of the most embarrassingly funny things that happened to me, in retrospect.

Nymeleia: I was always too caught upon not handling the concept of pain, and death, very well. I don’t regret working on it and toughening up, I just wish I had realized sooner that I should hone my strengths instead of desperately trying to “correct” what I perceive as a weakness.

Reln: ...I guess I haven’t realized soon enough what real understanding means. (he seems mildly uncomfortable by the question, and does not elaborate)

4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?

Fyarh: Fighting takes a toll on everyone, I’d say. But nothing other than that.

Nymeleia: (nodding along – her eyes wander off to the distance)

Reln: A few scars here and there. Had a lot to deal with after coming back from the heart of the jungle, but I have worked through most of those by now.

5. What is your current main goal?

Fyarh: I’m dedicating all my time to the guild. It’s been coming along so much better than what I prepared myself for, and I’m not about to waste the opportunity.

Nymeleia: I’m not satisfied with my level of skills on the field yet – I’m spending as much time on training as I can, next to Rose. There are some other necromancers in the guild with who we share our knowledge, and I have gotten some general good advice and lectures from Firstborn Trahearne himself. It’s crazy how far Fyarh’s connections go.

Reln: I’m busy training and supervising my own division. Most of us are reliable and trusting, but there are and will always be a few loose cannons I need to keep an eye out for.

CHOICES

1. Drink or food?

Fyarh: A drink, maybe? I tend to forget to eat. It’s getting on Nym’s nerves at times.

Nymeleia: Ah don’t even mention it. I’m picking food – nothing tops a good, warm meal after a long day.

Reln: Food, if I have to pick.

2. Cats or dogs?

Fyarh: I love cats. I wouldn't mind adopting one, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to take good care of them.

Nymeleia: Can we pick both, maybe?

Reln: (glancing at the thorn wolf lying next to him) I’m more of a dog person. But cats are good too.

3. Early bird or night owl?

Fyarh: I’m a night owl. Waking up with the rest of the guild at early hours is a nightmare for me. I tend to oversleep so much, it’s almost comical.

Nymeleia: That’s not a problem for me though. I’m up before everyone else. And so is Reln.

Reln: (nodding)

4. Optimist or pessimist?

Fyarh: Optimist.

Nymeleia: Same, some will even say naive for sure.

Reln: Middle ground. I’m more of a realist than any of the two.

5. Sassy or sarcastic?

Fyarh: Maybe... sassy? With close friends. I don’t feel like either most of the time, honestly.

Nymeleia: Would you say I’m more sassy or sarcastic?

Reln: (to her) Is that really a question?

Nymeleia: Oh entertain me.

Reln: (gestures towards her; she laughs)

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?

Fyarh: Once, when I was sneaking out of a Court camp with two stolen thorn pups. Barely got away. Didn’t dare to show myself around there for a while.

Nymeleia: Several times. Did a lot of bathroom cleaning in the Vigil for it too.

Reln: If I was, I doubt I would be here today.

2. Broken a bone?

Fyarh: Miraculously, no. I don’t even know myself how’s that possible.

Nymeleia: My left arm. Open wound, too – wasn’t a good experience.

Reln: Nothing that a field medic couldn’t fix.

3. Received flowers?

Fyarh: If you mean it like, in a romantic way? No, not yet.

Nymeleia: I received a few, but in my experience Vigil soldiers are more of the blunt than the romantic type.

Reln: No.

Nymeleia: How dare you. I gave you potted herbs a while ago!

Fyarh: (leaning forward) Potted herbs?

Nymeleia: It’s because he takes his food back to his room all the time. And then he complains about the seasoning. Go figure!

4. Ghosted someone?

Fyarh: I did... use to run away from confrontations a lot. But people say I’ve gotten better with that too.

Nymeleia: I prefer to just tell people if I’m not interested in talking to them. As kindly as possible, of course. But I think it’s ruder to leave them hanging.

Reln: I did leave from places – the Grove, the Court – suddenly, but then again, I didn’t have many connections to either in the first place.

5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Fyarh: That happens. Easier than trying to go back to it and figure it out, takes away the flow of the conversation.

Nymeleia: Everyone does that from time to time, no?

Reln: I don’t. If someone’s not funny enough, that’s not my problem.

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 39

The Road So Far

Is this still worth it?

The SEVEN Inch Wound

Gary 'Roach' Sanderson

Task Force 141 Base - Gym

Roach finally got his seal of approval. After weeks of physical therapy and daily check ups, he was now finally fit for battle and he was lucky enough that Nero was still under the radar. He wouldn't want to miss out on the battle he started. He was lucky enough that they were exonerated when Shepherd surrendered, because if they continued to be fugitives, Roach would not have access to appropriate medical attention.

It has been almost a month after the events in Afghanistan and Task Force 141 was already re-established, Samantha and Maxine were housed on a nearby compound where veteran's families lived under the safety of government protection. During his time in the infirmary, Maxine was always there to visit, telling him tales about dreams she recovered as time went by. Roach was glad she was returning to normal and that no matter how her memories came back, her treatment towards him was the same.

"Good to see you back on your feet, my man." Rocket went up to him and did their fist bump, a series of elaborate claps then finished off with finger guns accompanied by their almost realistic attempt at pistol fires.

"Haha. Yeah? I'm glad I'm back." He waved as Rocket pointed at his back. Roach turned to see Maxine, carrying a packed lunch, waiting at the end of the hallway.

"Hey you. Just in time for lunch as always." He smiled, wrapping an arm around her as they made their way to the mess hall.

"Glad to see you smiling and walking about." She says, as her palms ran across his firm chest, tracing the scar that changed his life.

"Yeah, finally passed the damn physical test." He grinned as they sat down at their usual table, the only table which consisted of two tables stuck together to form an eight seater.

The rest of Roach's closest comrades were already there. Alex, guessing what Samantha packed for him. Soap and France arguing which meal choice was best for them and Ghost, who was already halfway through his lunch while the rest of his comrades haven't even started yet.

"Good to have you back, buddy." Ghost greeted with a wide grin on his face, well technically only half of his face was shown.

"Hey man. I sure am glad. How have you been doing?" he joked. They constantly visit him in their free time, so there was actually nothing to catch up on.

"The rest of the squad proceeded to badger Roach with questions about everything they wanted to know. Roach enjoyed the hot seat as the military mess hall felt like the university cafeteria.

"So, any news about Nero?" He finally asked as soon as everyone was done with him. The table felt awfully quiet.

"None." France was the first to speak up. Everyone else nodded and frowned.

"Shit. Guess our only choice is to wait." He added.

"Shepherd didn't have any leads towards Nero. Their last contact was the exchange of blueprints and after that, he was gone." Soap explained the situation.

"The missing persons?" Gary asked.

"Still missing." Alex commented.

"And there are still a few additions every other day as indicated by the FBI and DHS." Ghost added.

"Is interpol still involved?" Roach turned to Ghost.

"They're still after the traces of EMP equipment from the missing persons. Their new lead is that Nero's team is trying out a lethal kind of grenade. One that explodes without damaging property. If he's planning invasion, this is actually a good idea without ruining too much of the invaded country." He replied. Roach nodded at the theory. EMPs only damage mechanical equipment and this was a good call for the bad side.

"I never knew they'd think of this kind of weaponry. I always expected bioweapons being the last of modern warfare." Ghost muttered.

"Well, that was what happened in Verdansk and we stopped it. We could do that again." Alex tried to boost morale.

"Yeah. We'll do whatever it takes." Roach agreed and they continued lunch.

By the time he started training, Roach focused back on his Sniper techniques. His wound may have affected his previous breathing training and it was only inevitable that he'd train it again. He wanted to master the long ranged rifle as it was vital towards his development as a soldier.

"Back on the scope huh." Ghost huffed as they reached their 200 yard mark, by the hill just outside the base.

"Glad you could help me on this one." Roach unzipped the sniper bag and began scouting the area.

"You sure this is your spot?" Ghost asked, using his hand as a visor against the hot afternoon sun.

"Yeah. This fits."

"Suit yourself." He chuckled as Roach snapped every attachment of the rifle, from the bipod stand to the clicker adjustments.

He peeked at the scope and looked at his target. Five small cans standing on top of a log 200 yards away.

"Remember what I told you." Ghost mused as he looked at Roach steadying his breathing.

"Damn." He added as he noticed the change in wind.

"Yeah, damn. I just was about to fire it." Roach muttered as he took another deep breath and began to hold still as his crosshairs adjusted to the shift.

A loud fire echoed across the hills as dust scattered on the ground where Roach fired. He was about a few inches off.

"Great. Do that again but change your adjustments." Ghost said as consolation.

"Yeah got it." He rolled his dial once again and accounted for the wind, easing his breath and fired again. The loud sound once again echoed through the hills, followed by a soft metal can flying away from the log.

"There you go! A clean hit." Ghost congratulated as he tapped Roach's back while he reloaded his sniper and aimed again.

Roach stayed at that spot until it was too dark to continue and Ghost accompanied him until such time. On their way back, Ghost opened up to something that has been bothering him ever since.

"Roach. Do you mind if I say something important?" He asked and it made Roach stop on his tracks.

"Yeah. What's up." Roach asked.

"I've already sent my formal letter, but I just wanted you to have a heads up on the matter." Formal letter. Roach's heart started to pound as his mind automatically thought of him quitting or leaving.

"Letter about?" he asked. His mouth almost felt dry. He didn't want him to leave. Not again.

"Transferring department. Alexandra offered me a spot on the Interpol. I told you this first because I knew that if you were on my shoes, you'd go too, right? Do whatever makes you happy?" he said, quoting Roach's famous words.

He isn't wrong about doing what makes him happy, but his decision didn't feel right either, or maybe because he just doesn't want Ghost to go.

"Well, you bet I'd go for that option too!" Roach said, trying to validate his decision despite not wanting it. It was sad to see him go, but for the first time in ages, Ghost actually acknowledged the term happy.

"I knew you'd understand." he smiled and continued their trail back to the base where Roach remained quiet until they reached the base just in time for dinner.

After dinner, Roach opted for a night jog around the base to clear his mind off of Ghost leaving. After the second lap, he soon noticed Alex catching up to him.

"Wonderful weather for an evening run, huh?" He asked all cheery as he's quite used to his heavier and more realistic leg.

"Yeah. It is. Good to see you're liking Samantha's surprise." Gary nodded and removed his earphones.

"You know, it's really a surprise when I'm the only one who doesn't know about it." He commented.

"It feels like a real leg, actually. The wonders of modern technology never ceases to amaze me." He mused as they both took the turn.

"Yeah? That's good to hear. Pretty sure Samantha loved the way you thanked her." Roach teased as Alex chuckled, like he recalled some memory.

"Oh yeah, she did." Alex nodded suggestively, the kind that Roach didn't want to ask anymore.

"This your last lap?" Roach asked as Alex slowed down for his cooldown, turning to the set of exercise bars.

"Yep. See ya!" He waved as he started his cooldown.

Gary took three more laps just to make sure he's exhausted for the night, so that once he got in his bed, no more thoughts would assault his mind, hindering him from sleep.

There was only one way out of it. And it was accepting Ghost's inevitable departure from the 141.

The next morning, the 141 was briefed on a possible lead on Nero. This time, Ghost wasn't in the room and that meant that his letter was now approved.

"Okay lads. We've received word on a supply drop activity from Nero. We intercepted an unencrypted call signal to an abandoned port just off the coast of Sierra Leone, Africa. If intel is correct, we're going to be dealing with someone who goes by 'Volt', Nero's bomb maker." Price paced in front of the huge screen showing details regarding their mission.

"Volt is a high value individual who must not be killed. He's our only hope towards Nero. The intercepted call came from the USA, and it's quite impossible that Nero is here, so he must've used a secure line. Jack will be staying in the base as our new Operations Command as suggested by Laswell. Overlord will continue his role as our commanding officer as well." Price added making clear about the jurisdiction.

"Damp and dry Africa." Soap muttered.

"Have you been there?" France asked.

"Only in Egypt. My mom used to tag me along her trips." he replied.

"Recon suggests a high chance of militia activity, so our standard rules of engagement; treat anyone as hostile. Volt's compound will be surrounded by his own personal army and they're willing to shoot any unwanted visitors. He also has access to a port, so I'm sending the Charlie team to stand by the shore and make sure they're not planning an escape." he added.

"I'm leading the Alpha team and our task is to infiltrate his base and secure Volt for intel. Bravo team, led by Alex, will act as our support when things go south. As bonus, we need to destroy any trace of bomb making equipment.

Roach, I want you to man our new air support tools from above as soon as we confirm that there are no SAMs on his base." He shot his glare on Roach and he nodded. Guess he isn't on the ground tomorrow.

"We leave tomorrow at 0300. Make your necessary preparations especially on our brand new comms equipment. Ones that are immune to EMP blasts. Dismissed." He said as everyone got up and went on their way. Gary purposefully left himself behind so he could ask Price about the Ghost situation.

"Hey there lad. You feeling good?" Price approached as soon as he noticed Roach.

"I just have a question about the mission."

"Sure. What about it? Any suggestions?"

"No no. The plan is fine. Where will Ghost be?" Price gave him a worried stare.

"Ah. Didn't he tell you about his transfer?" He crossed his arms and stared at Roach.

"He did… but why did you allow it?"

"Well, it certainly looked like he was happy to go there. And I had no power over his commendations." Price reasoned as they walked out of the briefing room.

"Oh. I thought he was going to have one last mission with us." Roach smiled as he walked back to the room. Ghost wasn't a fan of goodbyes. Maybe because he knew they'll meet again.

0300H

Sierra Leone, Africa

"This is Hunter One-One requesting sitrep, over." Roach phoned his allies who were already on the ground for support. This mission was their vital lead towards Nero. He wished that the guy Volt was here so that they could finally finish the war before everyone else gets hurt.

Before he could man the air support, he needed to confirm that there were no SAMs present on their base so he could safely provide suppressing fire from above.

Next Chapter : The SIXth Ship

Notification Squad my Beloved

@whimsywispsblog @ricinbach @bumblingbee1 @smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio

[sideshow-wolfie]

Coming Out...

I've been happy with these terms for so long, I feel like I need to express it to you... Even if it felt a bit painful...

I'm proud to announce that I'm Genderfluid. I've been having a Gender Dysphoria for a long time, since 2 months into my Sophomore (11th) year, and I finally found out who I truley was... Previously I was Demigirl, meaning I was full girl, but different. THAT didn't suit me anymore as I got to February... I just went off as genderless, Aka Nonbinary. Nonbinary suited me for a little bit, until that wasn't the case either as Spring Break started. I looked through the information, and I finally found out why my Gender Identity changed constantly... In the end of April I discovered I was Genderfluid... What does that mean?

My gender identity changes around infinitely, and it concludes that my gender was never meant to be confirmed.... I was previously a girl, but I'm fine with They/Them Pronouns. ❤️

Here's an example:

Day 1: Nonbinary

Day 2: Bigender

Day 3: Pangender

Day 4: Demigirl

Day 5: Transgender

and the gender list goes on and mixes around everyweek and day.

Lastly, for the gender part, I have been connected to wolves for so long.. both mentally and physically.. so long that I did not realize what I was until now. (I was like this all the way back in 2012, when I was in elementary)

I kept thinking I was something else. I constantly howled when I'm home alone, and that I wish I had someone to do it with me... And I bark, like other wolves or werewolves...

Not that I'm Genderfluid, but I am also WolfGender. WolfGender means that I connect with Lycanthrope/Wolf/Werewolf Life, and that I was a wolf in the first place...

I have been questioning to myself if I was always going to be with a boy, girl, whoever else, or remain single for the rest of my life when I was a girl...

In 2014, I had watched a show that eventually made me feel this... attraction to people.

You guessed it...

Inanimate Insanity

But so to let you know, it is NOT season 1. It is season 2.

The character that started to make me attracted to a gender was Microphone... Microphone was a hyped contestant, but eventually things got deep for her... I had loved this character for 6 1/2 years, and I kept constantly drawing her as a werewolf... Whenever I drew Mic, I felt happy. When I was 10 years old, I got a T-Shirt of her... My god I felt like life was complete ❤️

Throughout Middle School, I have had my first relationship with someone... Zero was my first crush that I had ever hung out. However, long story short, we broke up due to multiple toxic reasons (Involving me, and It was my fault...).

That took me a whole year to move on, and breakups aren't that easy to get over sometimes. I thought I couldn't be happy anymore, until I found Cory...

Cory was also a girl, like how I was... We both met on deviantart, and we would always hang out with each other. We both liked the same thing, and we like the same kinks (Aagh, I apologize for mentioning!!), But they weren't NSFW, don't worry! Me and Them would always chat on Discord... But then I developed a crush on them... Cory felt suprised when I told them how I was starting to feel... It had been 2 years since I fell in love with someone, and I was happy that the feeling came back.

However, we didn't start a relationship just yet... and was called off early a week after I told them in March, due to the fact they were shy... I understood that feeling. What honestly almost lost my future was the prom. Originally, Cory DID have a prom date to celebrate their night, but he cheated on them for another female... When they told me that he cheated on them, I knew It was time for me to become who I was meant for...

I wanted to be a Lesbian for the rest of my life... And it was my time to have that chance again... I was NOT desperate, but I wanted to make our future into a perfect never-ending chapter... We got together in April 2020 (during the COVID-19 pandemic), and I am happy to announce that we are still a couple! Though there ARE a few changes...

Cory eventually became Genderqueer and Bisexual, because they fell in love with a person (which is now a girl), and... I kinda felt anxious, but hey, it's all settled... Cuz, love is love.

I became Genderfluid, but I mainly identified as a boy, and considered to myself as Gay (I still did NOT want to be reminded of my previous relationship with Zero nor the Guy that had used me for Sexual Assault).

Both of us had felt more... And I realize that Love can and will be infinite 💙❤️🖤♾

So Everyone, Yes I am gay, but I'm also Polyamorous! Unfortunately it IS illegal in the United States, so this is why I'm not telling my school or my family about this... They do accept me for being Gay, but not the Polyamorous part. Again, I'm not telling them I'm Poly, in order to keep myself from being attacked and teased.

To Finalize my Coming Out Blog, I am also feeling attracted to something else... Kinda like how I fell in love with Microphone, but was from another show.

The show was called The Simpsons.

The Simpsons is one of the oldest animated sitcoms, yet it is still the funniest hits I had ever watched from Fox. Without them, I wouldn't have typed this final part...

However, I was not attracted to Marge, Homer, Lisa or anybody... In fact I was in love with a phsycopath... It isn't Snake Jailbird, or Homer's Killer...

I'm In love with Sideshow Bob (Robert Terwilliger).

At that moment when I felt flattered whenever he spoke, or was shown in some scenes of the show (old and new seasons, EXCEPT FOR HIS OLDER APPEARENCE)... I had drawn him for the first time, but it was kinda crappy, because I never drew a Simpsons character in my life. When I was younger I drew Itchy and Scratchy... For a while I stopped... I had a crush on both Itchy and Scratchy... Now it's that Palm Tree Haired Cutie. ❤️

I suddenly got curious if it was possible to love an character like him as a babe... Google gave me and answer, and It found out what my puzzle was.. it's not Bisexual, which I kinda figured...

Apparently, I am Fictosexual. I am in love with animated characters, whether from an adult animated show, teen animated, and POSSIBLY all-family animated show... Which Technically for me, I would always lay my heart on Bob's.

In Conclusion, it's ok to love who you care about, and what you care about, and it is okay to be true to yourself. You can be who you are, and who you think will make you happier, even if it is animated X3

Happy Pride, everyone! YOU ARE ALL VALID!!

#LoveIsLove

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 3 for the first time. Random thoughts.

Episode 1: I know in the original series She-Ra was the sister of He-Man so I'm curious how much of that will be carried over to this series. Not saying He-Man has to make an appearance, same as how Batman didn't need to show up in Teen Titans. That was Robin's story, not his, and similarly this is Adora's story, not Adam's. Regardless, it makes sense why Hordak was so annoyed with the baby Adora in Shadow Weaver's flashbacks. To SW, there was something different and special about the baby, but to Hordak, whom seems familiar with the world before Mara separated Etheria from the rest of the universe, including Eternia potentially, Adora is just another "First One" child like he's seen many times before. Special in comparison to those who only know Etheria.

Great clap-back from Catra to Hordak, and not entirely unfounded. It's debatable how much he actually cares about conquering Etheria. He has others leading his forces in his war yet all his focus is on his portal creation.

According to Entrapta, productivity of the Horde is up 400% ever since Catra became Hordak's 2nd in command. I wondering how much of that is Catra's direct doing? Is she genuinely just that good of a commander? Is it because she's properly delegating and Scorpia has been handling most of the load? Or is this just because it's in comparison to Shadow Weaver? Entrapta said Catra's focus on First Ones' tech has been greatly aiding them and SW definitely focused more on magic, which was an aid mostly to herself since everyone else in the Horde seems to fight only with weapons and technology. And most of what she saw of SW while she was Hordak's 2nd was her being obsessed with bringing back Adora rather than fighting the war.

Episode 2: Let's see... Hordak's easily an adult and Entrapta is...[checks google] late twenties, early thirties. Oh good, then let's sail this ship!

But yeah, that was a heck of a backstory for Hordak. This reminds me of a video by a Youtuber named Savage Books comparing the villain Steppenwolf in the theatrical and Snyder Cut versions of Justice League and how, while he still wasn't a great villain, just a small addition made him a much better villain, that being a failure in his past and the desire just to go home. And in this case, Hordak is the much better, or at least way more developed, version of that. One of many clones of Hordak Prime but having a defect that labelled him a failure and had him cast out to Etheria, a "backwards world" as he's called it before. If he can conquer Etheria, perhaps by building a portal that'll bring forward Prime's army, he believes that'll prove to Prime that he is not a failure and that he can return home to rejoin his forces. Just this bit of backstory adds SO MUCH to Hordak, including new insights on his past interactions, and keeps him from being a flat character like theatrical version Steppenwolf. His lack of tolerance for failure makes sense when he himself is trying to prove that he's not. It gives him compelling motivation to want to conquer Etheria beyond just power and greed. Not motivation you're meant to agree with but one you can still understand.

I like the story with Huntara too. It's a nice little tie-in to something Adora was talking about with Glimmer and Bow last episode. Adora defected from the horde, not because she was different but rather very much in spite being very much like every other soldier there. She wanted to believe Shadow Weaver may have at least some goodness in her too and now we have Huntara as a fellow defector who realized the evils of the Horde, even if she chose to stay out of the war entirely after.

Episode 3: I legit thought Catra stabbed the goat lady for a second.

After Scorpia asking her why don't they just stay in the wastes I'm seeing a bit of a parallel between Catra and Hordak. They've both found a place where they can be the top dog, where they can do and have basically anything they want; her with the wastes and him with the Horde. They can be happy. ...But there's still this pull they're feeling to somewhere else. Catra back to the Horde and Hordak back to Prime. Because they feel they have to prove something; prove that they're not failures. They could be happy but they can't let go.

And that scene between Adora and Catra at the end. That was such a great line read from Catra's actor. "She left me for you. Everything that's happened is because of you." I got chills.

Minor note: While I'm only judging off the Mara hologram, which didn't have color, I do think the She-Ra outfit looks better with pants than shorts like Adora's She-Ra form. I think it makes it look sleeker, if that makes any sense.

Episode 4: Catra's spiral has turned into a drill and its taking her down as far as she can go. Though something I had to a laugh a little at myself over was that my biggest "Catra, no!" reaction wasn't to her wanting to open the portal but rather when she lied to Hordak and said Entrapta let the princesses in. She was actually a positive influence on Hordak's life and Catra with one move just destroyed that relationship and all progress Hordak had been making.

I'm guessing there's going to be some kind of long-term effect from Shadow Weaver continuously siphoning off Glimmer's magic. The woman is basically a parasite and the magic she uses is very different from the kind Glimmer does. I can't believe it never occurred to me that since Shadow Weaver trained Glimmer's father there might be a connection there between the two of them later in the story. While we don't know about anything that might've happened after she left, SW clearly had enough affection for Micah still to not kill him. I could see her trying to take Glimmer on as a student later like she did him.

Episode 5: There is something kind of hilarious about it being Scorpia's jealousy of Catra and Adora's closeness that causes her to be the first one after Adora to pick up that something is off.

11 is my favorite of the Doctor Who Doctors so naturally I'm comparing all this to the crack in Amy Pond's bedroom wall. Whatever goes in gets forgotten about and basically never existed. Though does that mean Bright Moon isn't going to remember the Horde? Basically that entire place got sucked up in the collapsing reality. There shouldn't be at war anymore because their enemy literally no longer exists.

Adora and Catra had their own little Star Trek 3 moment there.

Adora: "If we don't help each other, we'll die here!"

Catra: "Perfect! Then that's the way it shall be!"

Catra's just so far down her spiral she doesn't even care about getting her own win, just so long as Adora doesn't get one, despite just minutes ago clearly loving having Adora back in her life and on her side, to the point was trying to resist remembering the old reality. Her "perfect" world was them together again but when given the chance (another of many. I love those cuts to their past woven in there) she slapped the hand away.

I'm sure I'm wrong but I'm starting to theorize Madam Razz is actually Mara and just at some point went kind of crazy and started thinking as and Mara were two different people.

Episode 6:

"You are everything I ever wanted in a son. This... This is everything I ever wanted in a life. ...But I've got responsibilities, Van. And...I have to...go now."

-Superman, Justice League Unlimited: For the Man Who Has Everything

That was my favorite episode of JLU, where Superman is trapped in this world that isn't real but still perfect in every way, and the only way out was to give up everything he'd ever wanted, including a son he remembers watching grow up, even if it never really happened. With a similar premise, this definitely helped elevate Angela up a bit for me, whom I was kind just meh with before. I didn't dislike her but I didn't really care much for her either. This episode gave her a lot to work with though, with the heavy sacrifice she made. Not just saying behind to pull out the sword but just simply forcing herself to accept her husband is gone and not coming back. I was right that they wouldn't remember the Horde, but I definitely didn't think of the full effects of them never existing. They never exist, Bow never becomes a rebel instead of a scholar like his dads wanted. They don't exist, Micah never dies in battle against them. Glimmer gets to grow up with her father in her life. Everyone, most especially Angela, has to reject everything they would love to be real in favor of what actually is.

I'm guessing we're going to have Shadow Weaver taking advantage of this situation, trying to act like a teacher and mother-figure to Glimmer now that she's basically a orphan.

I talked before about how Catra and Hordak seem to have a parallel between them, especially regarding failure. Catra seems like she has a very hard time accepting her own failures and mistakes and thus why she more or less uses Adora as a mental scapegoat for all of it. Nothing is ever really her fault, it's Adora's, or Shadow Weaver's, or Hordak's. It makes for a great moment when Adora finally punches back, both literally and figuratively. She's not going to accept responsibility for Catra's actions anymore. She gave Catra every chance to make the right choice and she didn't, so now she has to finally live with the consequences. Heck of a glare She-Ra gave Catra at the end. Very much a "If I ever see you again..." and it certainly scared Catra, at least for a moment.

Now, someone go save Entrapta from Beast Island!

Season 3 verdict: Easily the best season thus far. I know this was technically the second half of season 2 but even in comparison to the full season 1 there was just so much that happened in this, so much that got revealed, and so, so many moments of emotion or tension. Weirdly I feel kind of disappointed that Hordak Prime is probably going to come in now and be the new big villain. I really like our Hordak's motivation and Prime seems like he might just be the generic conqueror for power that Hordak seemed like he was going to be at first. Not saying those types can't work. I love All For One from My Hero Academia and Frieza from Dragon Ball. Those guys are pure evil and selfishness, but they also have a captivating presence/charisma to them.

Naturally, since I bring her up the most out of all the characters, I'm very curious to see what happens with Catra now. She's basically nuked every positive relationship she had with anyone. Entrapta's gone, she threatened Scorpia, Hordak's not going to trust anyone including her anymore now that he thinks Entrapta's betrayed him, and Adora firmly sees her as an enemy. She has no one (those under her direct command don't count) and it's entirely her own fault.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o0trfz/going_in_blind_watching_season_3_for_the_first/

[6ftslytherin]

Queer OC Questionnaire

Name: Sabine V. E. Lowell

1. What is your oc's identity?

Androgynous lesbian woman

2. When did they realize their identity?

In a way she's always known.

3. How did they feel when they found out?

(Trigger warnings: internalized homophobia and a suicide attempt)

Sabine had always felt like there was something different about her than the other girls. She never really understood how they could dream about getting married to a handsome gentleman. When she finally heard about other girls liking girls it was in a negative connotation. She hadn't thought that what she felt was bad but this was a respected adult saying it.

Her family being the famous Lowells taught her that one of the most important things that she could do was continue the bloodline by marrying a man and having children. When she asked about having children with a woman her grandfather Virgil laughed and told her it was ridiculous. She never brought the question up again.

Over the years the shame would build. It wasn't just her sexuality that made her feel bad. Her weird behavior caused her family to be ridiculed. She had indirectly killed her brother John. She was the cause of the argument that made Jacob leave. She wasn't feminine. Her parents deserved better. Being herself dishonored the Lowell name. She wasn't even sure if her parents actually loved her anymore.

She tried to be the best daughter she could be but she always felt bad about who she was. She couldn't even tell anyone because she didn't feel like her problems mattered compared to other's. Eventually all the shame and guilt built up which is when she decided to end things. She couldn't deal with the pain anymore.

She was fourteen when she stole a bottle of sleeping pills from a muggle pharmacy with the intent to take the entire thing. She decided on a date when the fewest people would be home and made peace with the people in her life. When the day came she wrote a note explaining everything and downed the bottle with a glass of wine. She became light headed and passed out a bit later.

She woke up in a bed at St. Mungo's. She didn't have the strength to argue when she was offered a spot in the pediatric section of Waterhouse Psychiatric Hospital and agreed.

4. How long did it take for them to accept themselves?

It wasn't until she was being treated in the psychiatric hospital that she began to let go of the guilt. Her parents hired a private psychiatrist to help them. The psychiatrist, Dean Garth, would help her and her family come to terms with their feelings.

She still sometimes has moments where she feels less than because of who she is. She now has technics and a stronger support system for those moments.

5. Are they open about their identity? Did they come out subtlety or dramatically?

She came out in her suicide note. She wasn't expecting to live so she didn't feel like it would be a big deal. When she woke up the day after she remembered the note and felt instant regret. When she had her first session with Dean she found out that her parents had read the note and given it to him. She felt deeply embarrassed about it.

After a few sessions with Dean he asked if she would be willing to have a session with her parents. She agreed. Sabine was surprised by how much her family really cared about her. They wanted to help her with her problems and felt like the worst parents in the world that Sabine thought the only way to stop the pain was to die. For the first time in years she cried in front of them. She no longer doubted she was loved.

She would slowly come out to her friends and extended family over the coming months.

She decided to be openly gay starting on September 1 1988.

6. What were the inital reactions of their friends and family?

Overall very positive. They were more concerned with Sabine's mental health at the time.

7. Did anyone know before they came out?

Her mother had an inkling by the time Sabine was 11. She thought she had a crush on Rowan. Her grandmother Colette knew by the time Sabine was 5. When asked to elaborate Colette responded with, "I just knew." Looking back on it, her grandmother had always been pro-LGBT. It turns out that Colette's uncle had been a closeted gay man that lived a double life until his death.

After she got out of the hospital she was hanging out with Rowan and told her. Turns out Rowan already knew. Not only that, but Rowan also liked girls and identified as a demigirl.

When she told Jacob his response was, "Yeah, no shit."

8. Was it a complete shock to some people?

Martinius Lowell, head of The Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, a job that requires the ability to see minute details, had no idea.

Her oldest brother Sef came back from Switzerland to spend time with her. Turns out he wasn't aware either. He was embarrassed about never noticing.

One day when Marie was visiting Sabine in the hospital she told her cousin she liked girls. Marie responded by saying she also liked girls. That was when the girls realized they were both the gay cousin.

9. What has their love life been like?

There was a girl that went to the same ice rink as her when she was eight that made her feel strange. She loved watching her skate and talking to her. She wanted to say something to her. Then she remembered how her fellings were wrong. So she didn't say anything to her. She started avoiding her. Eventually her crush for the girl died off. They went to the beach when she was twelve and she saw an older girl she was unable to stop looking at.

Sabine joined the Slytherin quidditch team in her second year. There she met Skye Parkins. After months of training and playing together Sabine considered her a friend. Sometimes Penny Haywood would talk to Skye and make Sabine feel weird. For some reason she only wanted Skye to talk to her. After awhile she realized she was attracted to Skye. She felt awful for liking a girl again. She started to hang out with Skye less.

In the Summer of 1987 when Sabine was fourteen she met Yvonne Silverpot, a fifteen year old girl. She was doing some modeling work for Sabine's mother at the time and needed a place to stay. Yvonne took an interest in Sabine. She often asked Sabine to spend her free time with her, which she obliged.

Whenever Sabine or Yvonne were free they would be with each other, quickly becoming friends. One day Yvonne asked Sabine if she had ever kissed anyone before. She answered truthfully that no, she hadn't. Yvonne offered to be her first. This surprised Sabine. She tried to explain that girls aren't supposed to kiss other girls.

Yvonne closed her eyes and said, "I'm going to keep my eyes closed for five minutes. Kiss me if you want. I'd like it and I think you would too." Sabine fought against her instincts before she gave in and kissed her. Yvonne left a few days after that. Sabine knew she would probably never see her again.

It was late September when Sabine accidentally outed herself to Merula. She had felt so comfortable in the conversation they were having it had slipped out. It had clearly freaked Merula out. She didn't say anything. She just got up and left. Sabine sat there, marinating in her panic induced nausea. She closed her eyes and started to use deep breathing techniques.

Sabine could tell Merula was avoiding her. She wouldn't even look at her when they had potions class, even though they sat next to each other. In between classes Sabine asked Merula if they could talk in private. Merula agreed. Sabine asked her if she had told anyone, she hadn't. Sabine was relieved. She explained how she didn't want her to tell anyone. Merula agreed but stated it still made her uncomfortable. Sabine didn't like it but was glad she was being agreeable.

Weirdly Sabine and Merula started to get closer. Merula didn't seem capable of the venom she used to spew at Sabine. They even had a private sleepover to celebrate Merula's birthday, Sabine's roomates being gone due to Christmas. Merula had gotten comfortable enough to share a bed with her. Sabine had got to sleep happy that they had finally buried the hatchet.

That morning she woke up to an asleep Merula holding onto her. Sabine almost had a heart attack. That was when she had a thought; hold her back. She almost did. That was when she realized she once again had a crush. She would have to distance herself to keep her from getting hurt. She wasn't able to fall back asleep. When Merula woke up she apologized for holding her. Sabine said she didn't mind, even though she did. The day after she began to distance herself from Merula.

The problem with this being in the same house, having the same classes, and sitting at the same table. Merula often asked if Sabine wanted to hang out or study together. Everytime she would decline Sabine could see the hurt in Merula's eyes, even if she acted like it didn't bother her.

Then one day in spring Merula had enough. She challenged Sabine to a private duel at night. Sabine arrived at the location expecting an angry Merula ready to fight her. Instead Merula was quietly waiting for her. It was almost eerie. Sabine asked what was happening. Merula simply said, "Do you hate me?" Sabine would have been surprised by the boldness if it had been anyone else, she said no.

Merula then demanded to know why she was avoiding her. Sabine couldn't think of anything to say. How could she explain that she had developed feeling for her? Then something shocking happened, Merula hugged her. She said she wanted to be around her again. That it hurt not to be. Merula buried her face in Sabine's chest. She said, "I need you to stay in my life because your the only person that treats me like I'm worth a damn. I think I like you. And that terrifies me."

Sabine was in a daze. She liked her? Sabine was scared. She slowly moved her hand onto Merula's head. Sabine breathed in deep. She said everything she had been holding in her heart. She told her how special she felt Merula was. That was when a thought came to her. Sabine swallowed hard and said, "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Merula looked at Sabine. She said yes. The two of them started to cry out of happiness. It was almost bitter when they had to part. They agreed to meet up in Hogsmeade the week after, Sabine would come up with a date plan. They went back to the Slytherin common room while holding hands.

A month later Sabine asked if she could refer to Merula as her girlfriend. She agreed.

Strangely, Sabine's never been romantically attracted to Rowan. That was when Sabine realized she had a type. Tomboys.

How do they feel about their identity now?

Sabine is significantly happier since she was able to get the help she needed. She accepts the fact that she isn't going to magically wake up one day as a feminine heterosexual and she's glad she won't. Her family likes her girlfriend and she wouldn't want it any other way.

Blank questionnaire here:

[laytonsartblog]

Okay so I'm dumb here's a one shot

I know I said everything that's a story would be posted on AO3, but, I have dumbass energy and was inspired by the reblog I made earlier and it is 2 am on a school night so WOOO incoherency is at an ALL TIME HIGH

@infinimay whoop tagged u for what I'll call the Bus Duty AU

Perhaps I'll make this a series?? Something light, fluffy, nothing too heavy on the angst (okay I lied)

--

The Wheels on the Bus (Spin the Tales of Love)

Chapter 1., Like Patton

Virgil and Damian woke up to get to school at precisely 7:30 am, and to be ready by 8:10 for when their bus arrived, every school day.

Their mother, which is now Virgil's stepmother, always said that a tight schedule and tighter patience is what wins people over. That must be how she got Virgil's idiot dad, who took nearly three years of coy smiles and teasing touches to even start dating. They had married this year, and while Virgil is certainly happy about it, he didn't realize that it came with having to deal with a new stepbrother.

That's why, instead of 7:30 and 8:10, Virgil rises at 7:15 and is waiting by 8:00. Their mother never notices, never needing to wake up this early for work, and their dad works night shift. They were by themselves, but they handled it for nine year olds. Virgil especially figured out how to handle it as soon as he figured out that despite all this change, he was still by himself.

"Vi! Vi!" Damian, or DeeDee as he liked to be called, shouted as he approached Virgil at the bottom of the street. "Why do you never wait for me?"

Virgil shrugged. "I don't know, you give me a weird feeling, like cooties, but nice? Like wriggling worms in my head. It's sticky."

There was silence between them as they waited for their bus.

"You give me wiggly feelings too. Truce?" Damian suddenly said after what seemed to be forever to their adorable little minds, and he outstretched a hand.

Virgil took it. "Pleasure doing business, Worm boy."

Damian pouted and pulled his hand back, but didn't need to wait much longer in cute anger as the bus pulled up to their street. Seemingly forgetting the nickname, he pulled Virgil along onto the bus.

"Hey, kiddos!" their favorite, and only bus driver greeted as they sat in the front row.

Virgil never liked the bus, despite how early he was this year. It was loud and cranky and he had to sit next to DeeDee and there were always the mean kids who flicked his head as if a ping-pong ball on the way to their seats. The one thing that made it bearable was the fact he got to sit close to Patton.

Patton had allowed them to use his first name from the get go, inspiring names like "Patting!" from the kindergarteners or "Shatting" from the mean sixth graders. Virgil never tainted the name for he saw no reason to change what was already his favorite part of the morning.

Patton gave them treats on their birthday, never forgetting a single one. Patton hugged them when they were sad and showed them that crying was okay. Patton never yelled or screamed when things got too loud; he knew better than to plague these children with learned behavior, scorn, and hatred. Instead he'd play games that involved the whole bus to busy everyone, or at the very least play music and encourage them to sing along or guess the song.

Patton made things better. But Virgil knew he was sad.

Today, even with Damian's unwavering questions at everything he saw and with the fake stories he kept saying to the kid in the seat next to them, even he could tell that their bus driver was tired.

The two observant fourth graders watched as their second father didn't smile as brightly as he usually did whenever he greeted the kids getting on. He sagged; sluggish and baggy. Virgil noticed he looked a lot like his cousin Remy before a test under his eyes.

However, despite how observant, Virgil never knew how to comfort the gentle man. It's why he and Damian are in the front row. The doctors said he has a "speech impediment" where he couldn't put the words in his head to the outside world quite right. They said his brain was wrong. He knew Damian had a streak of lying and throwing tantrums. It's why he didn't like his new brother; he only served to make him look stupider.

Still, that didn't stop Virgil from putting a hand to Patton's shoulder, at least not entirely. He didn't expect for him to gasp and jump, but Virgil didn't exactly know what to expect anyway. He just pulled his hand back and looked down at his ripped pants in shame the rest of the bus ride.

--

They got there slower than Virgil had thought, but no, they were on time. Perhaps his brain was being weird again? He couldn't tell, but either way he walked begrudgingly by Damian into the school.

They passed by their school's office on the way into the gym, which is where you wait until school started. Virgil, again, ever the observant one, saw his school secretary in the window.

He was what was best described as professionally squabbled, or in Virgil's terms, cleanly messy. Mr. Nguyen had hair that was combed back just so and glasses that hid all his worries and fears. He had impeccable pressed ties that, on the occasion, got festive when a holiday came around. He had skilled hands and Virgil hadn't walked by a day where he wasn't working or presenting a board meeting or, if he wasn't doing that, wasn't there at all for the whole day.

Virgil never really disliked Mr. Nguyen. He had no reason to like him either. But right now, Virgil could see he looked exactly like Patton did; utterly miserable.

"Hey, DeeDee, y'see Mr. Nguyen? In the window?" Virgil whispered as he sat right at the entrance so he could get a good look at him.

Damian merely ignored him. "We always see him. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is," Virgil started, already frustrated with the words that wouldn't come out. "He like- he- he's Patton today."

Damian rose a brow, a suspicious trait he most likely picked up from his mother. "You mean he looks like Patton did today?"

Virgil could only nod in relief. "Yeah! He looks Patton today. Do you think the teachers look like that today?"

Damian scanned around the room. He saw nothing out of the ordinary on the teachers' face. However, he did spot a certain trashy boy that Damian all but felt puppy love for. He waved him over. "Rem! Rem!"

The boy, peeking from the corner around his preoccupied brother at his name being called, grinned a crooked and partially toothless grin and ran over to Damian. They merely embraced before Remus took out his backpack, no doubt to reveal some gross frog from his collection.

Virgil cared less and just kept staring at the office, seeing Patton and a few other drivers come in for their mandatory morning report before they head out to go back to whatever they do when not driving. Patton still looked like a walking corpse.

Virgil vowed to take that frown away.

However, the school bell had other plans.

--

Virgil thinks that time really has slowed down, and maybe it isn't his stupid brain.

Every minute of class felt not as much a blur as it usually was. Usually, class was as easy as it got, and today he even got to skip out of gym for speech classes. He liked the speech teacher, Valerie. She allowed him to say her first name like Patton did. Virgil liked Valerie too.

But even his marvel at how fantastic his day had been so far didn't distract him from the fact his bus driver was unhappy.

Virgil sat with Damian and all the other broken kids at lunch. Remus was there too, and as much as he loved Damian off his back, the two talking about frogs and the fact the French eat frog legs was already starting to get on his nerves. He just focused on his sandwich and juice box, never saying a word.

It became time to throw out the food, and Virgil knew it was gametime. He looked to everyone at the table before rushing, the other two running to throw out their styrofoam plates the fastest.

Sadly, like always, Virgil's dreams of success were barred by Remus's long, nimble legs and long, skinny arms.

Virgil wanted to pout and tell them that Remus always wins, but Mr. Glover came in to clean and one look sent the three of them scrambling to recess.

--

Today they had art time, and Virgil had never been more determined in his life.

He grabbed construction paper, glue, crayons, markers, tape, and a How-To: pop up book. They were supposed to be making Thanksgiving cards for one of the staff members, and technically he was following what he was supposed to do. It was just that Patton's name hadn't been listed on the board to write to for their fake post office.

No matter. He would make the best card ever to cheer up his favorite and only bus driver. Damian seemed more interested in watching Remus eat the glue stick and then calling for them to go to the nurse.

Virgil ignored the two's antics in favor of focusing on his masterpiece.

--

Finally, at the end of the day, with high hopes and spirits and even better hope for Patton, Virgil all but ran to the bus he remembers so clearly beyond anything else. Damian followed close behind, sitting beside him in the seat they always sat.

Virgil heard Patton greet him, as always. Virgil could still hear how tired he was. He looked as pale as Virgil did.

Virgil, without prompting, took out his card and shoved it into Patton's hands before taking his seat and covering himself up with his hoodie as far in the seat as he could go.

Patton watched the young boy sat back down in a hurry before looking down at the card. The craftsmanship, of course, could be better, but honestly Patton could hardly care. He read the "I Think Your Cool" at the top and then a hand drawing of a turkey, covered in glitter and Patton's signature blue.

Patton almost cried, and then did cry when he saw the inside.

It held handwritten words with a picture of presumably Virgil fighting away the storm clouds over Patton; the bus with muscles and also beating up the stormcloud. The words wrote "I saw your sad face. I want to fix it. See! Fixed it!"

When Patton looked up, sniffling and holding the card dear to his heart, he saw Virgil peaking out from his jacket. That little boy held the softest smile and even Damian stopped for a moment to grin, gap tooth apparent but not even a hint of malice could fill Patton at this moment.

Last night had been so awful, but maybe today hadn't been so bad. No, today had been fantastic. Virgil fixed his heart for just a moment.

Edit: the card! Made by moi

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: Frank needs a long walk if you guys are free Ava: He's got the Sunday blues James: well in that case, purely for his sake, of course Ava: I've fully cute baby come onto you and it's worked Ava: 😈 IOU some 🐶 treats James: you've got really long eyelashes, irresistibly so Ava: ☺️ Ava: You're irresistible in so many ways Ava: I'll count them James: out loud? Ava: Quietly out loud, anyway Ava: don't need to interrupt my parent's breakfast James: they're actually there? I was beginning to wonder if they genuinely exist Ava: 😏 Ava: surely you saw them once before James: I don't remember them ever being in my line of sight or hearing Ava: How funny Ava: Guess Buster was pretty sneaky Ava: or should we say, good at time management, that's the polished version of that James: you're very good at time management yourself Ava: True Ava: I'll take that as a compliment and ignore the unwanted parallel James: it was intended purely as one, we wouldn't have lasted this long had you not been Ava: I can be the sneakiest bitch if needs be, I don't care James: tempting as it would be for me to immediately insist that we test that out, I don't think we have to James: she definitely will have received the divorce application by now & she still hasn't come back James: or called, or messaged James: it's looking less like any of us can label this a holiday Ava: Wow Ava: How are you feeling? James: I don't know, it won't sink in, whenever my phone goes I assume it'll be her Ava: Of course Ava: It's been your life for so long now, and it's been so Ava: well Ava: for it to just be seemingly over, so unceremoniously James: she could walk through the door any time with a suitcase & a tan though, I'm well aware of that Ava: Has she stayed away this long before? Ava: Without contact James: she typically loves to tell me every detail of what she's doing when she's at her parents' villa, so no Ava: That's a good sign Ava: even if she does come back Ava: you've still filed for divorce, she can't ignore it James: I just feel like James: if it was this 'easy', why didn't I do it before? Ava: because it wasn't before Ava: you didn't have the tools then and she had more control Ava: what's important is you've done it now James: because she's right about me Ava: No Ava: she isn't right about anything Ava: least of all you Ava: she didn't ever take time to know you, how could she be James: because it's all there in everything I've done & not done, I haven't behaved like a responsible adult or someone will any backbone whatsoever James: I've let them all down, her included James: what kind of person marries someone they don't love? Ava: Someone trying to do the right thing Ava: What about all the things you have done? Ava: and not the things you're talking about, all the good, the showing up and being there, for them all James: that's the least I could do, isn't it? Ava: No one else did it Ava: it was you, James James: I know that but Ava: but do you Ava: she's admitted as much, even if she was doing it to be cruel Ava: she picked you for a reason Ava: you're a good person, that's all you've ever tried to be James: I'm the kind of person that's susceptible to her bullshit, a damaged person, a weak one James: it was good for her but it doesn't mean that I am Ava: being weak and damaged doesn't negate you being a good person Ava: just like her abusing that in you doesn't mean she's exempt from being a shitty person just because she's fucked up herself Ava: who isn't Ava: you've been trying, that's the difference Ava: and now you've done it Ava: despite years of being ground down Ava: that's not weak James: why do you love me, Ava? James: what do you even see? Ava: I see Ava: so much Ava: how considerate you are and kind, without even realizing or having to think about it Ava: and you're sharp and funny Ava: you're interesting, I could talk to you all day, about anything Ava: and you are a good person, you just are, I could tell that immediately James: I don't have to think about being kind to you, I want to James: & to be someone that you want to talk to all day, who makes you laugh & smile & who you can say anything to Ava: You are, you just are Ava: you don't have to try, not just because you want those things, you can't help but be those things Ava: I can't help but love you, though I want to too James: I can't help but love you either James: so I don't think we should try & do anything else James: I think we should do this properly now Ava: I can be your girlfriend? James: I want you to, whether she comes back or not James: because I love you, whatever else happens James: I'm in love with you Ava: I love you too Ava: of course I want that too, of course Ava: whatever happens James: I'll talk to your parents with you if you think it'll help James: or I'll continue having never seen their faces, whatever you want Ava: I'll talk to them alone first Ava: but I don't wanna hide you, need to Ava: there's no objection they can have that'll make me want to James: I can't make you the same promise, as much as Teddy had no objection when I initially broached the subject of meeting someone else once I'd finished the application, he's likely to feel different when he finds out it's you James: but even if we did technically need to hide, I don't want to & I won't Ava: Understandable Ava: I'm under no illusion my family will be thrilled but they'll have to get used to it James: as long as we don't also immediately announce an engagement or pregnancy, my parents will be fairly understanding, I'm sure Ava: Pretty much same Ava: It isn't like I'm making myself step-mother Ava: I'll assure them of that James: but I have no idea what I'm supposed to assure Jay of, she genuinely believes Chloé is on holiday right now Ava: The truth Ava: even if it's complicated, or there's parts you're unsure of, it's still the best policy Ava: you can't assure her she won't come back, no Ava: but your truth is that you've ended things and you want to look after them and you will Ava: and right now, it looks like Chloé doesn't want to share but maybe one day that will be a thing Ava: you don't owe Chloé anything, covering the potential hurt that might cause, definite confusion because Jay is so young Ava: but you owe yourself and her the truth of it, and she'll appreciate that, know she can always trust you James: you're right, of course you are James: I'm still trying to protect her, aren't I? She's not even here & I can't stop myself from covering for her Ava: and the kids too, but that's the most understandable instinct Ava: but I think long-term, hell, even short Ava: you can't lie to them, they know Ava: it's worse having this thing you don't talk about, aren't told about James: I know James: I can't remember my mum having a conversation with me about a single thing, not even the weather, my dad talks & she nods Ava: You don't wanna be that Ava: and you aren't James: I think we should move, not literally on this Sunday morning, I've not lost my mind completely Ava: A new place, a fresh start Ava: makes sense to me James: I want Jay to know it's different this time, real & definite Ava: That's a good idea James: the other side of the river maybe Ava: A real move Ava: I think go for it Ava: Whilst they're still young, it's not a huge upheaval, there aren't friends to be left behind really or any of that James: I'll be further away from you though Ava: I can get the tube Ava: anyway, I'm going into my last year, so I'll be moving too after that James: oh right, I didn't even think of that Ava: Don't you wanna know where my first choice is? James: do I, or will I be devastated? Ava: Goldsmiths James: Ava Ava: I told you my top three were in London, I ain't lying, like Ava: Great 🧠s maybe James: so you know what I need to ask, what I am asking Ava: It's best you still do Ava: just incase James: when did you decide what your 1st choice was, because if it was now, it shouldn't be James: not because of me Ava: It wasn't Ava: It was my first choice before I came to see King's Ava: and that didn't change that James: okay, good Ava: I promise Ava: I wouldn't do that Ava: if my first choice was on the moon, I'd still go and I'd still try to make it work with you James: I believe you James: I just had to say it, because that's not the kind of boyfriend I want to be James: one who holds you back from things Ava: You aren't Ava: I might not get in Ava: and that's still over a year away Ava: we don't need to rush anymore, we can just be normal Ava: as normal as anyone is James: you'll get in, we both know that James: & I'll be really happy for you Ava: 😊 Ava: I do hope so Ava: and it can be okay that that's for potentially more reason than one, can't it Ava: not a crime James: yes, it can be more than okay Ava: Good James: [actually adds her on socials because he can] Ava: Oh, hey Ava: you're cute James: that profile picture is James: when did you change it? Ava: a while ago Ava: you gotta catch up Ava: 😘 James: tell me truthfully while I do, am I the reason the relationship status 'it's complicated' exists? 🤔 Ava: Well, that's embarrassing Ava: that's about my OTHER secret relationship 😬🙄 Ava: You fool 😏 James: 😂 James: what's he/she like? Ava: Pretty special Ava: might be serious James: oh really? Ava: Yeah Ava: so I'm gonna be pretty busy now, don't think I'll have time to see you James: far too busy too walk your dog assumedly, I suppose I can do it for you, if only to show there's no hard feelings Ava: I don't even like being fake mean to you Ava: 🥺 James: I really want to kiss you every time you 🥺 Ava: Come for a walk with me and maybe you can Ava: at least kiss me goodbye at the end James: when Jay's distracted kissing Frank goodbye Ava: 😂 exactly Ava: though the way he slobbers is distracting James: he's good with her though, that aside Ava: He's a good boy Ava: he can't help being a bad kisser Ava: you could teach him, if you like James: if theory, yes, but in practice I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to what that would actually involve James: tell him it's nothing personal, but I don't want to kiss anyone but you Ava: 🥰 Ava: that makes my heart happy so I will break the news to him gently James: thank you Ava: 💙 You're the best Ava: Can I change my relationship status then? James: like you said, I've got lots of catching up to do James: of course you can Ava: [does] James: [imagine all the comments like with WHOMST cos she can't put who with obvs since he can't cancel his so it's just in a relationship] Ava: [jump in that inbox everyone lmao, that's how you could start a Nancy convo like oh you ain't ready] James: [that's a good idea tbh]

[witxh-bitch]

"Relax..." Markus x android!reader

Requested by @todorokiwolf, I deliver!

The reader is gender neutral but long hair is implied!

No need for warnings in this one

_____

After the success of the revolution, the androids have gained a lot of rights. Most importantly, no longer were they sold in stores like merchandise and for the first time ever, they were allowed to own property, earn money and make families of their own. There was still however a lot to be done and all that came in due time. The first weeks weren't as easy.

It took months of dialogue to re-establish the androids roles in society. A lot of them ended up on the streets or squatting in whatever shelter was available. The more fortunate ones were given temporary housing and some even stayed with their previous owners, now with much more freedom.

Seeing this drastic diversity in wealth almost made Markus feel like nothing changed at all. Of course, technically the androids won and were in fact freed but what was freedom when many had no means of survival and exchanged serving people for crippling poverty?

The situation worsened when he was assigned an apartment of his own from the government. The idea was that in order to keep the leader on the humans good side they provided him with the best in hopes that he'll be more keen on agreeing to their terms rather than demanding things from them. But alas, no matter how perfect the apartment was, it felt terrible. It felt like he betrayed his own people, leaving them on the streets when he himself was bathing in all of the riches.

______

You sat in the post-Jericho android hideout. With each passing day more and more androids were leaving, now knowing that they were safe to roam the city. Some would come back to their families, some could only hope for the best but decided to leave on their own and some stayed around, waiting for the next step orchestrated by Markus.

You, North, Simon and Josh were sitting in the front, talking cheerfully about the future and what it would bring when you noticed Markus came back. He had just been out, talking with the humans, attempting to negotiate for the first of many times.

“Welcome back Mr leader!” Simon said happily, clapping his hands together once for emphasis but you all quickly noticed that happiness was not welcome now and something was clearly wrong. Markus didn't seem to be in a good mood at all.

“Did something happen? Why are you frowning?” North asked, her eyes lighting up in alert.

“I got the keys to some apartment in town. They said it's mine now and that it's a gift ‘for the great leader’.” Markus scoffed sitting down next to you. Everyone's worried expressions faded away.

“Well that's good isn't it?” You asked, rubbing his shoulder and smiling lightly. You could feel him lean into your touch slightly but he didn't relax even a bit.

“It's not good. They're trying to bribe me. To numb me with meaningless gifts hoping that I'll just drop all the demands and go along with whatever they say.” He explained, gritting his teeth. What followed was a good minute of silence. Nobody really knew what to say. Truth be told, you expected something like this to happen. It was obvious the humans wouldn't just give up so easily. They had to at least try and prevent you from actually getting your rights and then quietly make everything go back to normal again as if the revolution never happened in the first place. You didn't expect however that they'd try to go for Markus first.

“I'd take it if I were you.” North finally broke the silence. Momentarily, all of you looked up at her. “I mean, it's not like you have to promise them anything right? They gave you the keys already, why not use it?” She made a fair point.

“North… I don't… It just wouldn't be right to leave you here in this… mess while I sit in some fancy apartment like a god.” Markus replied. You all silently disagreed, sighing.

“Markus, without you none of us would be here. You deserve something in return for all of this.” Josh said, leaning back in his seat.

“He's right.” Simon chimed in. “You freed us Markus. You should go. Even if it's just for one night. Enjoy yourself for a second, take Y/N with you and forget all of this.” Your eyes widened at the mention of your name.

“Me? Why me all of the sudden?” North chuckled.

“Oh come on, you lovebirds… You're so crazy in love you should just go and enjoy your alone time. RA9 knows...” She glanced over at Markus and winked “...That you didn't have any of that the past week.” You showed her your tongue playfully and put your head on Markus's shoulder shyly.

“And what about the people? What about you, I can't just leave you? I can't leave them.”

“We'll stay here and look after the rest. It's time you take a break.” North said with a smile. Markus looked around at his friends in disbelief before sighing loudly and shaking his head.

“Well I see that arguing will get me nowhere so...I suppose that for one night I could technically leave...Just one night though. That's it.” He stood up and helped you up as well. “Tomorrow we're coming back and I'm giving these away.” The group seemed fine with that verdict and so after a short goodbye, you were on your way out to Markus's new, though temporary place.

_

“Whoa. This place must cost a fortune!” You exclaimed, walking inside the flat. Markus followed right behind you, looking around with a much less happy expression. “If my owner saw me here he'd be fuming.” You giggled at the thought. You noticed Markus wasn't as gleeful as you were though. “Hey.” You said to gain his attention. “Cheer up baby.” Your arms wrapped around his neck, your lips pressing a short sweet kiss to his.That didn't seem to cheer him up too much. “Markus… Relax.” You repeated, now much more seriously.

“We can't be like this.” He said, shaking his head. “We can't be like humans and treat some better than the other. I won't stand for this.” You smiled, comforting him.

“It's just one night. Think of this as a short vacation from all the ruckus and all the fighting.” He clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“It seems wrong Y/N…” He muttered, looking away at the floor.

“You're a great leader Markus. The people love you.” You told him, gently placing your finger on his cheek, making him turn his eyes to you again. “Everybody wants you to have this. Even if it's just for a couple hours. Treat this as a thank you gift from us. Forget the humans, forget it all. This is a gift from your people to you okay?” You reassured. He stayed silent for some time, overthinking every word you just said to him. Finally though, he sighed in defeat and leaned into your hand ever so slightly.

“...Maybe… Maybe you're right.” You chuckled, caressing his cheek.

“Of course I am. Now c’mon, relax a bit and I'm gonna take a shower. I need to wash all this filth out of my hair. Eugh.” You took his hand and lead him down further into the apartment, searching for the bedroom and the bathroom.

_

You were sitting between Markus's legs on the bed with your back pressing against his chest as he played mindlessly with your hair.

“Your hair is really soft after you wash it.” He said, letting the silky artificial strands slip through his fingers. You smiled.

“I didn't have the chance to do that a lot lately did I?” Markus smiled back and shook his head. He began to tug on your hair lightly, making you squirm.

“Shh stop fussing, I'm trying to braid your hair.” He nudged you in the side. You chuckled and relaxed, letting his hands do the magic. He was done quite quickly and you were left with a perfect herringbone braid. Markus admired his work with a smile on his face and moved the braid to the side, exposing your neck to him.

“You know, maybe this isn't that bad.” Markus said, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. His lips travelled up and down your synthetic skin, nipping at it slightly from time to time. You smiled, leaning back into his body even more.

“We all told you that you needed this.” You replied and leaned over to the side so you could peck his lips lightly. “But you didn't believe did you?” Markus chuffed and laid back on the bed. You flipped around so you were facing him, now straddling his lap. He looked up at you, marveling at your frame. You were just so perfect to him. The fact that he could be with you was the best thing to come out of the revolution. If he couldn't be with you, there would just be no point.

“RA9, you are just a vision…” He breathed out as he stared at you, his eyes glowing with love. You giggled.

“Did you just call out to yourself?” He smirked.

“I never said I was him. I don't think I am.” You rolled your eyes.

“Nonsense.” You put your head down on his chest, sprawling on the bed. Your finger began to trace circles on his shoulder, as you stared into nothingness, enjoying his silent company. “You'll always be RA9 to me. You're my savior Markus.” You said and looked up at him. “I love you.” You kissed his jaw softly, admiring his face.

His strong arms wrapped around your body in a tight, secure embrace.

A disembodied voice resonated in your head ‘I love you too.’

The good thing about being an android was that moments like these could last all night and you were never limited by the need to sleep. It was just you and him, together, laying mindlessly for hours, enjoying the peace and quiet for the first time after so so long. It was nice to think that maybe after all of this was over you could have this every single day. To live and spend every single moment you could together was something you oh so desperately needed. In time, maybe it could even become reality?

[donnabroadway]

SAHM

There seems to be a trend of people sharing their bad, at most, questionable at best decisions on social media in the name of being aspirational and it's not cute. There is nothing cute about getting online and bragging about how you don't know how to pay basic bills as a SAHW or mom or SAHGF. The amount of lawyers and professionals that tell you that being a stay at home wife is one the worst professions they see in family law and divorces should be a warning but for some reason we see a rise of women choosing to be stay at home girlfriends. I am not a hater. I try not to police other women's uteruses, bodies, and vaginas. What someone does as long as they are safe, fairly happy, healthy, and everyone involved is consenting, of appropriate age, and has the faculties to understand what is happening, is not my business. Women seeking to be kept women, mistresses, stay at home moms (not that they are the same, and trophy wives is nothing new and won't change. It also won't change that unless they are an exception or they are able to secure marriage, child support, or some other means of financial protection, they end up with nothing. I have never seen an old, retired sugar baby. Most sugar babies are young women between the ages of 18-25 and if they're lucky, they will get married or in a long term relationship before they're 30. It's an arrangement based on looks, youth, and ego and older women don't do that. Ashley Darby, as beautiful as she is, has found that her time as a kept woman is ticking, especially after having babies and becoming a mother. There is no guarantee with marriage but there really is no guarantee when playing the game of trying to keep a man interested enough to continue taking care of you, in exchange for being young, fun, and cute.

I wonder how many women who spent their teens, twenties, thirties, and part of their forties playing the role of perfect wife and partner to a rich and successful man, shaping their dreams and goals to fit his, and not doing much outside of supporting him, regret it. Even if the man continues to take care of them financially, how many women regret not leaving to find true love and happiness. At some point, youth and beauty become faded and options will dwindle, and not just in the romance department. Even men with money find their options dwindle from women who truly love them and are willing to build with them to women who just want to be taken care of and to some extent, scammers. It does not matter how well you age, all of us will have diminished options once we reach a certain age because the smart ones will stay married and the ones who are loose tend to be the ones who aren't great partners and probably aren't great people either.

There is no such thing as almost married, technically married, or even common law married because even that has to be proven in the court of law. There are only four legally recognized marital statuses, single, married, divorced, and widowed. Common law is not federally recognized and it varies from state to state. It does not matter if you've been with that man since you were in grade school, if he's the only man you've ever been with, if he's always paid all your bills and told you that he wanted to take care of you; the people who are in the business of getting your "husband" in the ground, settling his accounts, and verifying things do not care about your sob story about how in love you were and how he told you you didn't need the government in your business to prove your love, how his kids or mother were **expletives** for kicking you out of the decision making process and how they didn't even know him or he wouldn't have wanted them making decisions for him, or even you cursing them out and threatening to escalate the situation because you know someone who knows someone. If you don't have paperwork, either a marriage certificate, or something filed with the state naming you the executor of his estate, then none of that matters. I also think it's interesting how people think they can Karen their way out of bad decisions with tears or fear. It does not matter how things "should be," this is how they are and until any relationship other than the four I listed above is recognized, if you are going to be with any man long term, then you need to plan accordingly. I will never understand why we choose to be in long term relationships with no marriage in sight. I understand if you're young or there is some benefit to not being married, such as losing benefits or alimony, but two overly grown people having kids, sharing property, a life together, and even a defacto last name won't just spend the $25 to go to the courthouse to make it official. It's not the government in your business, it's being smart. You need to protect yourself because anything can happen to anybody at anytime. There are no guarantees.

Let's say your man is one of the ones who truly would "never," okay what about life? What about tragedy? What if he gets incapacitated? What if he gets a traumatic brain injury? What if he loses his job? Even people who own the company and the "job" lose their "jobs" every single day. None of us are exempt from the realities of life. It is irresponsible for a woman with children to not know how to pay her bills. This is not to say she should be paying the bills with her own money but getting online bragging about not knowing who your husband pays the mortgage to for the house you and your children live in, is irresponsible. and nothing to brag about. The amount of older women I know who trusted their husbands to handle all of their finances but got a rude awakening when they realized the bills weren't being paid how they were supposed to, their husband couldn't afford it, or they were now one step away from homelessness, is astronomical. It happens to women in all walks of life and it is naïve to trust someone with something like that. When it all falls apart, the bank, mortgage company, landlord, credit card company, etc do not care that you didn't know. This is the only scenario when not being married works in your favor because you're not responsible for those debts. You need to know how to pay your bills. If something happens to your husband or partner, you should be able to step in and handle things. If you aren't the one, he should have someone else prepared to handle things in the event of his demise. Young people die everyday. People who were once healthy get sick and become shells of themselves very quickly. Life happens in the blink of an eye and if that man decided he wanted to be the sole provider for you and your family is not stupid and he should have things in place to take care of you and his children when he dies, because he will die because all living things die, even if you don't want them to.

There is an old meme going around about a woman who was a mistress to a married man and she had two kids with him, he died and left her and the kids nothing and she went to the wife with her sob story and her kids asking for help and the question was asked what would you do as the wife. Call me heartless but I would tell her to get a job. If that man was taking care of her and he left her with nothing, that is on her. I guess she thought the children were insurance for child support but dead men can't pay child support and only legal parents, not spouses are responsible for child support, she is fresh out of luck and the wife owes her and the kids nothing. While she was living the high life, spending money, and making babies, she should have made sure she had some tangible assets for herself and her children. That is not the wife's problem and y'all are going to learn to stop depending on sympathy to make it through life. No one is condemning mistresses but make smart decisions. If you're grown enough to sleep with a married man, play house, or other big girl things, be grown enough to sit down and have a serious conversation.

Even if you are not his wife, if he is serious about taking care of you, there needs to be processes in place and someone who knows how to handle everything in the event of his untimely demise. You need to have him show you the mortgage papers and make sure your name is on the deed, even if you aren't married, have him show you life insurance policy, learn how to pay all the bills, or get in touch with who pays the bills, if your man got it like that and it isn't him, and you need to know about the assets he has. You also need to have a way to pay the bills if he's gone. Him giving you an allowance, letting you use the cards, while he pays the bills is not enough. There needs to be an account with money you can access or an insurance policy because it doesn't matter what is in your name, if you have no money to pay it and if you've been a stay at home mom for 20 years, you will not make enough to keep up that lifestyle, even with advanced degrees. You need money. That is a fact. And you should be able to access the money immediately. You don't want to wait weeks or have to go through a lot of red tape. You should be able to access that account and his money the moment he passes or become incapacitated because bills and hungry children don't wait. This goes for SAHH and kept men. If you don't work and are dependent on another person to pay the bills, even if they say you're equal, you still need money.

Too many women bury their heads in the sand because they want to reap the benefits of living the soft life and don't want to rock the boat. Even an Ostrich cannot bury its head in the sand for too long The reason why we don't hear about the bad is because it's not as sexy as bragging about not having to pay bills and having a man that will take care of everything and all you have to do is wake up and do whatever you want all day and people don't want to hear the reality or "negativity." The want positive vibes only. If you talk about the flip side, they will say you're lying, you're ungrateful, you're complaining, that you must have done something to cause that outcome, it could never be them, etc. This is why people don't even waste their breath. I know a lot of advice was wasted on me when I was younger because young people think we know it all and we think we're special and that can change the outcome and it won't happen to us and we don't realize we're new players in the same game.

[sedatedusk]

It still bothers me

Just because you may have had it worse or know people who have had it worse, that is not a reason to invalidate or devalue someone else's pain and trauma. I understand that you grew up in a time when abuse was normalized, and it still is to a lesser degree, but what may seem like a molehill to you could be the most insurmountable mountain that someone else may have ever seen. You wouldn't tell someone to suck up the pain of a broken leg just because someone somewhere is dealing with a brain tumour. Pain is different and relative and while I'm not asking you to make mountains out of molehills or baby everyone and treat them all like they're ceramic and paper-thin glass, what I'm asking you to do is understand that yes, some people have had it worse, but to that person, that is their worst and they need to learn to deal with it, overcome it, whatever the situation calls for.

You can remember the things your parents did to you, congratulations, but not everyone can and that means that not everyone is able to articulate and explain it. Things get blocked off or swallowed into a black hole. Me personally, the only things I can remember without having to sit, network, and reconstruct, are the several times blood work has gone wrong, being yelled at and threatened, being punished over things as insignificant as breathing, the dogs seeking shelter with me, my mother threatening suicide because she was snooping and found out I had told one of my friends that I had gotten into a minor argument with her and was upset about it, being locked in my room for several hours and once overnight - I still don't know what I did wrong but they were adamant that I couldn't come out and put a plastic toilet in there, and that's pretty much it. The earliest happy memory I have is earlier this year when I was at a concert with someone I care for very very much, but even then most of that has been wiped from my memory too.

Things like emotions and being present in body, being grounded, these are all new experiences to me. So many of the things that most of my peers and the practitioners I meet have all had the chance to learn how to be human before becoming whatever it is they're meant to become. They learned what emotions were and what social cues are and what sort of things are acceptable and what are technically legal but may even be punished by law.

It's also important to note that it doesn't always matter how physical or sexual the bad experiences were. The brain and the body don't process trauma and pain the same way conscious awareness does. It can't tell the difference between emotional and physical abuse and many would argue that long-term emotional abuse and neglect is actually worse than physical and sexual abuse, especially since they can only go on for so long at a time. I would've rather my father hit me than what he did put me through, but he didn't. It got to the point where I was absolutely terrified to even be in the same room as him and my heart would sink every time I saw I had a message from him. It was a monumental task just to muster up the courage to call him because every interaction I've had has been overflowing with mind games and puppeteering. He admitted to me once that I'm is legacy and retirement plan, and I don't need an admission from him to know that so long as I was willing to obey and agree with everything, so long as I didn't try to stand on my own two feet and come to understand that I had worth, I was a trophy. I was just something for him to wave around as proof that he wasn't entirely useless. When I came out to him, the drama wasn't over my identity, it was over me wanting to change my last name and because - according to him - I didn't thank him for not kicking me out when he found out. I did, by the way, it was one of the first things I said to him after he finished his questions, and the whole thing with the last name is all this familial trauma he has with his relatives from a young age that he needs to sort out.

Believe me, I understand that pretty much everyone is traumatized, especially nowadays. I don't think I could be this fascinated by dreams and psychology and not understand that, but knowing or experiencing things you deem to be worse than what the other person is going through or has gone through doesn't stop their pain. If anything, it makes it worse.

If you want to end the conversation here or you don't want to talk to me ever again, that's fine. I understand and I appreciate the insight and conversations we've had so far, but this feels like something I'd be kicking myself over if I had kept my mouth shut.