#tear it down if you wanna; I'm cool with discussing this

[vigilante-3073]

Cancer

James Wilson x Female Reader

Summary: Wilson gets diagnosed with cancer and decides to administer his own treatment. House and Doctor Y/N L/N assist him and have a discussion about the future.

TW: ANGST, pre-established relationship, cancer, treatments, pain medications, mentions of grief and death.

James Wilson had cancer.

A Stage 2 Thymoma that had started invading the surrounding tissue.

Wilson knew that his chances of survival with conventional treatment were slim to none. He managed to stockpile supplies in order to administer his own treatment.

L/N thought he was crazy, but promised to be there for him in whatever decision he made.

Wilson convinced House to assist him, knowing that the side effects alone would make L/N want to discontinue the intense treatment he had decided on.

Wilson needed someone who was going to stick to the plan, even if he thought it was an idiotic one.

They started his treatment in the living room of House's apartment. House was able to utilize his stash of morphine and vicodin to lessen the pain, but the side effects were still atrocious.

L/N was kneeling on the floor beside Wilson, dabbing the sweat from his forehead with a cool cloth. He mumbled incoherently, his cold hand wrapping loosely around her wrist. She lowered her hand, sending him a reassuring smile as he stared up at her with tired eyes. His skin had lost all color, dark bags forming underneath his eyes as his entire body shivered.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled, she shook her head, "You don't have anything to be sorry for," She assured, brushing his hair away from his sweaty forehead.

His fingers tightened around her wrist minutely, "You don't have to stay," Wilson said softly, "I would understand if you wanted to go," He continued.

"I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I'm not letting you go through this without me being right here to hold your hand," She said.

"I'm tired," Wilson stated, grip loosening as his fingers slid down the soft skin of her forearm.

"I know... Why don't you try and get some sleep? The infusion still has a while to go," L/N said, palm resting against the skin of his chest. His hoodie was saturated with sweat despite the chills that rattled his bones every few seconds.

He shook his head, "I wanna look at you," Wilson said, eyes flickering over her face.

She smiled slightly, "I'll still be here when you wake up, I'm not going anywhere," She assured.

He inhaled, breath stuttering in his chest before he began to cough and gasp. L/N reached over and turned on the oxygen, bringing the mask to his face as he wheezed.

"You're okay, deep breaths," She instructed softly, holding the mask in place for him. Wilson rested his hand over her's, muscles trembling with the effort before letting his arm fall aside limply again. He blinked up at her, taking deep breaths before he allowed his eyes to flutter shut as his exhaustion took over.

"I'll be right back, okay?" She said, he nodded without opening his eyes. L/N lifted the band of the oxygen mask over his head to keep it in place before standing up.

House watched her walk into the kitchen, he knew that seeing Wilson like this couldn't be easy for her. A selfish part of House wanted to tell her to leave, he could handle Wilson on his own without crumbling under the pressure like she inevitably would. But House knew that L/N loved Wilson and she would be beside him no matter how things ended.

House grabbed his cane and stood up, making his way into the kitchen. L/N stood in the farthest corner of the room with her hand over her mouth and her other arm wrapped around herself as she sobbed quietly.

L/N quickly wiped her tears away when she noticed him, taking a shaky breath as she attempted to calm herself down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want him to see," She said softly, breaths stuttering in her chest as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

House walked over, hesitating for a moment before pulling her into his arms. He could feel her body trembling before she let out a quiet sob, pressing herself against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him as she broke down in his embrace. He could feel her tears soaking into his shirt, allowing her to release her pent up emotions.

She had put on a brave face for Wilson, focusing all her attention on him throughout this process. L/N had attended every appointment and been in the room for every scan since his diagnosis. Then she stood by her husband even in the face of his god-awful plan to give himself treatment.

This treatment regimen was not recommended and there was definitely a reason for it.

L/N pulled away, leaning back against the counter as she wiped the tears from her cheeks with a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry for crying on you," She said softly.

"Don't apologize," House replied.

They stood in silence for a moment, listening to the soft hiss of the oxygen in the adjacent room.

"I-I don't know how to do this," L/N admitted quietly, twisting her wedding band around her finger, "I know that you're probably the worst person to ask, but you won't sugarcoat it... How am I supposed to let him go if this doesn't work?" She asked, voice shaking as she tried to keep from falling apart again. More tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked up at him, waiting for a reply.

House let out a breath, "You don't," He stated.

L/N nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks before more quickly fell to replace them. House looked down at the floor between them, tapping his cane against the wood.

"You love him... You're going to keep loving him even after he's gone," House stated, grip tightening on his cane.

"You either feel everything or absolutely nothing when you first get the news. Then you go numb or you shatter under the weight of your loss. You'll see him everywhere and miss him every second of every day. It could take a year or more for you to get through that initial wave of grief... Some people never get through it," He continued, eyes briefly meeting with her's.

"Then maybe you'll miss having someone around, the silence will feel like it's suffocating. You'll go out on a date, but realize how different they are and you'll miss him."

He glanced into the living room to where Wilson was laying on the couch before his eyes returned to the floor, "You'll grieve again. You'll feel like nothing will ever be right without him. Every day will feel like a battle until one day you can think about him without crying. You'll pack his things away, pretend that life didn't stop when he died. Then you'll see something that makes you think of him, smell his cologne on someone or hear a stupid joke that will throw you right back into that grief," He stated.

He looked up at her, finding her staring up at him with tear-filled eyes, "The pain never stops, you just learn to live with it," House said.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Strawberries and Cream

Pairing: Eddie x Reader

Word count: 5.1k

Notes: TAKE MY HANDDDDD ILL TSKD THE LEADDDD AND EVERY TURN WILL BE SAFE WORH MEEEEE

✨🍓Strawberries and Cream playlist🍓✨

Warnings: Eddie does have a small PTSD attack in this chapter and im ugly laughing it actually gave ME a panic attack to write so it is short and sweet and will probably not be discussed in the future I apologize if its not a very good scene but I couldn’t take my time on it

Episode 5: Drivers License

“Oh come on, will you just tell me?”

Eddie is relaxing in the passenger seat of Bucks jeep, he’d lent it to you for the night. Not that you two weren’t practically sharing it at this point, you’d drop him off for the day and he’d let you go crazy with it. 

“It’s not a surprise if I tell you,” You tell him for the 6th time. He’d let you blindfold him as soon as you got into the car

“I’m just supposed to trust you? A total stranger? You know you blindfolded me, the least you could have done was take me to dinner first you know. I'm not saying I'm not totally into this but still” 

“Oh shut up” You whack him in the stomach and he snickers 

“You wanna know what else I’m into?” His voice is deep and sultry and it shoots straight down to your core

“You wanna know what else I’m into” you mock him, your voice high-pitched pitched and he laughs at you, reaching over and feeling over your torso. You whack him again and he snickers 

“Hey! Fresh!!” 

“I’m just looking for your thigh, sweet pea, that's all. Again, can’t freakin see remember?” 

You take his hand and set it on your thigh and he squeezes lightly, rubbing it softly. 

“Thank you, brat” 

Your mouth drops open and he can hear the little sound it makes when it does

“Go ahead, fight it.” 

You take his hand and throw it back at him and he laughs at you. 

“You know that’s what I love about you, how irritating you can be” He sticks his tongue out at you and you punch his side, he shrieks and cringes away from you and your mouth drops wide open 

“Oh my god” You poke his side and he jerks, snorting before slapping his hand over his mouth 

“Oh my god!!!” You shout “You’re ticklish right there aren’t you?!?!!”

“No, fuck! No!” 

You poke him again and again and all he can do is scream and laugh, he tries to hold his sides but he’s blindfolded and he can’t stop your little onslaught. You’re laughing gleefully and absolutely torturing him and he’s wheezing trying to protect himself and full-on ugly laughing 

“Stop!! Please! Please, I'm gonna pee!” He’s kicking his legs and sinking into the chair and cackling as you wipe away tears from how hard you’re laughing at him 

“Nah you gotta ask nicer than that!! Beg me!!” 

“Are you shitting m-“ 

You needle his side as he protests and screams again

“Okay, fuck, fine you win, okay!!” He’s trying to catch his breath

“I’m waiting” you giggle in a singsong voice 

“Please Y/N will you stop tickling me” His voice is flat and lifeless and you poke him a little. He jerks again and you snicker 

“That sucked”

“Fine!” He turns to you and you giggle, turning his head so he’s actually facing you 

“Y/N will you please? Stop tickling me?” He makes a little pouty face “Please? I’m defenseless and that’s not fair” He whines a little and reaches out for you pathetically 

You gulp. Okay. That was kind of attractive. 

He leans forward, tilting his head sweetly and you know the eyes he’s making at you, even if you can’t see them. He pouts even more, even giving his lip a little nibble

“Are you done now? Please, baby?” 

Your mouth drops open and he chuckles at the little noise it makes. He sits properly in his chair with a smug little grin on his face 

“Thank you”

Taking care of Eddie over the last week has been nice. He’s an easy patient. Although incredibly stubborn at times, constantly says he can do things on his own when you know- he can’t. 

And it’s kind of cool to be living here temporarily, though the spare bed isn’t getting much use, Eddie claims he prefers it if you sleep in his room so in case he really needs something at night he doesn’t have to get out of bed. He never wakes you though and he holds you tightly, his face nuzzled into your neck. 

It’s been four days since Eddie’s accident and his recovery is going well…just a bit slower than the doctor thought and neither of you are having a problem with that. 

He refuses your help in the bathroom, saying he’s perfectly fine and he is but he turns into a complete baby everywhere else. Especially when it comes to being in the living room. He traps you on the couch with him each time, wrapping his arms around you like he does when you sleep together and keeps you there all day. 

He doesn’t leave your side often which is funny considering it’s supposed to be the other way around. He’s sat on the counter drying dishes slowly just so you can talk. 

It’s purely domestic the way you two are living but all good things must come to an end. 

And they do, on a night when there’s a storm raging outside and the power goes out and you hate the dark and the way it causes you to panic…and a quick flash of lightning accompanied by a jarring bang of thunder causes him to have a flashback, the ones he wouldn’t address, he refused to address 

He knew it was coming, there were signs, signs that he ignored. Signs that his friends…his family tried to point out and he refused to acknowledge them in any way whatsoever and now here he was, losing control on the only person who made it okay again.

And it reminds you that maybe you don’t know everything about him like you feel you do. Because you don’t know how to calm him down in that moment and he’s screaming at you and you’re screaming back and you’re not sure when Buck was called, maybe it was when Eddie knocked your phone off the nightstand, but he’s there now and he’s shoving you out of the room and locking the door and Maddie is there, with a flashlight as she pulls you into your room while you sob. 

And then it’s quiet again. And the storm settles down and you don’t hear Eddie anymore. Maddie lays with you, your head on her chest as she strokes your hair. You’d long since fallen asleep but she stays up for you, watching you. Because she knows how the dark makes you feel. 

Buck comes in, he looks exhausted and worried and pent up and she smiles softly, reaching her arm out and he lays on the other side of her. She’s going to be an amazing mother. 

“Hi” 

You jump at the sound of his voice, it’s the next morning. He looks awful and you know you look the same. He looks… pitiful and it hurts. 

“Hi” 

You grab another cup from the cabinets and pour the coffee, holding it out for him. He walks over slowly, taking it by the rim and setting it down on the counter 

“A-are you okay?” He whispers, his voice shaky and nervous. His hands slide up your arms, as he bends forward and puts his forehead against yours 

“Are….we? Okay?”

“I don’t know…” you hear his breath hitch, his grip on your arms tighten just the littlest bit and you sigh, kissing him softly. It’s nothing like it’s been, this is quick and a bit hesitant. Like you’re worried it might set him off again 

“And yeah of course we are Eddie… I’m not- I could never leave you. You’re my friend…“ 

He snorts and his head falls to your shoulder, you can feel the tears falling down your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck, careful of his shoulder he clearly reinjured. 

“Friends huh?”

It still sounds stupid for you both to say, especially after this last week, but it’s true for now. You know there’s a future here, that’s clear. But… it’s a little more obvious now that there’s more to Eddie than his good looks and flirting skills. 

“Friends” you smirk, pulling away from him. He still holds you, his arms wrapped around you as you lay your head on his chest. He rests his chin on your head and you both just stay there for a little bit while he calms down, his tears drying up. 

“I didn’t….hurt you did I?” He asks quietly and you shake your head 

“No, just scared me. But I guess it didn’t help I was already scared about the power”

“Yeah, I’m… fuck- I should have taken care of you. I’m sorry” 

“Stop saying that” you scold him, worming your way out of his hold 

“You apologized sincerely already and I accepted it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore”

“Are you sure? Because we can… I don’t want you to have to hold onto that” 

The look you give him as you blink slowly and purse your lips. 

“You know what shut up” He smirks, pushing your head away from him. He flicks you off and you whack his chest 

“You got some nerve. Asshat” 

He chuckles, picking up the cup of coffee from the counter and taking a long, slow, sip. He turns away from you, clearing his throat 

“I’ll talk to someone” 

That’s what brings you to today, four days later. A little surprise outing. 

He compliments your new shorts and you roll your eyes at him 

“Thank you”

You’re listening to the directions through a pair of earbuds because you know he’s gonna know where you’re taking him if he hears the directions and you want it to be a surprise. His hand tentatively finds its way back on your thigh and he strokes it softly, enjoying the way you feel under his fingertips. Your soft, buttery skin, the various little bumps, and dips that make up you. He likes his hands on you.

You finally pull up to the drive-in, you missed The Mummy but tonight they were playing The third Transformers movie, Dark of the Moon and you’re so excited about it. You flash the guy your tickets on your phone through the window and he waves you through 

“Okay, we’re here,” You say pulling into a spot on the grass and letting down the windows. “You can take that off now” 

Eddie pulls the bandanna from his eyes and blinks a little, getting used to the lights around him. He chuckles softly and shakes his head, looking at his hands 

“Tadaaaa” You wiggle your fingers then unbuckle your seatbelt 

“I’ll go get us some popcorn before it starts! Do you want anything to drink?” 

Eddie pulls you back into him and kisses down your hand 

“Absolutely not. I’ll go buy it” 

“Hey! No fair this is my thing now! I buy you popcorn and whatever else you want” 

“I’m a damn gentleman, you already paid for the tickets. And I know they were expensive”

You bat at him with your hands trying to get him to stay and he bats at you with his good hand trying to make you stay. 

“Compromise!” You huff and he nods 

“Okay yeah! You buy the tickets, I buy the refreshments!” He opens the door and flicks you off, blowing a raspberry at you as he leaves 

“You’re a child Eddie!!” 

“Your mom’s a child!” 

Your mouth drops wide open and you gasp indignantly, as he walks away laughing. 

Eddie comes back with a ridiculous-sized popcorn and a shopping bag. He hands you the popcorn and climbs into the jeep, setting the bag on the floor. 

“Alright, I got candy, sodas, and weirdly? Mini muffins. Blueberry ones. Oh! And-” 

He pulls out a paper bag and hands it to you and your eyes roll back as you inhale slowly 

“Oh these are fresh aren’t they” You take a completely unladylike bite of the churro and moan dramatically while slumping against your seat “So good” you whimper and he snickers, taking a bite of his own and falling back with you 

“Okay maybe you weren’t exaggerating” 

As the sun sets you get comfy next to him, scooting as close as you both can and leaning your head on his shoulder. He kisses your head and smiles softly 

“Thanks for tonight” 

“I thought we could use it” 

You and Eddie snack and joke as the movie rolls, it’s nice being with him, and had this been a real date it would have been the perfect first date. Maddie was right, this was kind of a romantic vibe. His arm is draped over your shoulder and you’re nestled into his chest now while he rubs soft little circles on your arm.

It’s soothing and comforting… and the smell of his cologne and the grey sweatpants he’s wearing is shooting straight down to your core. You shift a little, trying to ease the heat between your legs but it’s absolutely no use. The way he’s gently tickling your skin just amps you up even more. It definitely doesn’t help you two have been together every waking moment of every day for the last week or so. 

“You okay princess?” He whispers, his hand sliding down to your hip and giving it a squeeze 

“You’re tense, the movies not scaring you is it?” He smirks and you slap his leg, rolling your eyes

“No! What am I a baby? No, I'm just- uh- I need to go to the bathroom” You sit up out of his arms and open the door, hopping out 

“Alright, hurry back. Call me if you need me, Baby” He winks at you and you glare at him giving him the finger and walking off to find the bathrooms. 

There’s not much of a line and you’re thankful for that, just a little cold water on your face and you’ll be good. 

“Y/N??” 

You whirl around, to come face to face with Hen and her wife, they’re holding drinks in their hands

“Oh hi, Hen! Hi… you?” 

“Karen” She laughs, shaking your hand. 

“What are you doing here? I didn’t know you knew about this place. Buck drag you?”

“Uhh… no??” Your voice is high-pitched and you twiddle your thumbs in front of you 

“So who are you here with? You’re dressed pretty cute” Karen asks and you feel your cheeks flush, you shrug your shoulders 

“Oh my god. Oh- you’re here with Eddie aren’t you” 

Hen pulls out her phone and immediately snaps a picture of you. You groan loudly and slap your hands over your eyes 

“It’s just a friend thing!!! I swear!!” 

“Friend my ass” Hen snorts and Karen shakes her head with a smirk. 

“You’re all so invested in their love life” 

“Are you gonna act like you weren’t eating up everything I was telling you when I told you they made out” 

“You told her we made out?!” You yell and people around you look at you like the crazy person you currently are 

“Uh…sorry..” you say sheepishly 

“Of course, I told her, she’s my wife” 

You frown. Cause dang, she’s got you there. 

“So why aren’t you with him now?” Hen wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and Karen elbows her 

“Because I just needed to use the bathroom I just needed to splash some water on my face okay I just needed some air” 

“Air? This is an open field girl” Karen raises an eyebrow “Why did you need space?” 

You groan and spin around, stomping your feet like a child 

“He’s… overwhelming in small spaces okay?! He just- he smells so good and his hands are so big and he’s wearing grey sweatpants-“

“Damn I’ve seen him in grey sweatpants” Hen mumbles 

“Exactly!!! And oh my god I just… I want to- “ 

“Let it out girl, let it out” Karen rubs your shoulder

“I want to rip those stupid sweatpants off and ride that cowboy until the cows come home…and I don’t even know what that means!!!” 

Hen barks out a laugh and holds her stomach 

“And god have you seen his lips?! They’re so pretty, they’re so so pretty I know he’s good I just know it!!” 

“What about his work suspenders?” Karen asks and you practically melt into her arms 

“Please, dear god please don’t get me started on his damn uniform”

“Double cheeked up constantly”

“For no fucking reason!!” You practically scream and Karen loses it, laughing at the both of you. 

“Hello ladies, fancy meeting you here. There you are sugar cube” Eddie comes walking over, his hands in his pockets. Hen elbows you repeatedly and you swat her arm away praying he didn’t hear any of that  

“I got worried” he bends down, kissing your forehead and you stand there dumbly as he wraps his arms around your waist. Karen wolf whistles and you roll your eyes 

“Were you able to use the bathroom?” He asks, staring down at you and you take a second, just staring into his pretty eyes…his pretty face… 

“Y/N?” He hums softly, nuzzling his nose against yours “You’re missing the movie sweet girl” Hen and Karen coo behind you and you flick them off 

“Oh, we can go back now! I’m all good!” 

You all say your goodbyes and as soon as Eddie turns around they make lewd gestures and your mouth drops. They walk off cackling and you stomp off after Eddie. Eddie opens the door for you, helps you in, and shuts it behind you. You smooth your hands over your thighs, watching him walk around the car. He’s… fine as hell. Even when he’s just walking. 

“Okay this is getting out of hand” you mumble under your breath as you pull out your phone, going straight to your health app. You scroll through slowly before groaning and shoving your phone back into your pocket

You’re right in the beginning of your fertile period. 

“So you think I was cute enough?” He snickers as he shuts the door 

“Hm?” You ask distractedly, his shirt has ridden up a bit and you can just see the little happy trail leading to your buried treasure. 

“I was just trying to embarrass you” he chuckles, handing you a box of your favorite candy “but you seem distracted… I didn’t upset you did I? It was just a joke honestly-“ 

“No no!! No, it was funny!! Uh, hilarious! Haha! So funny” you ramble and he looks at you like you’ve grown six heads 

“Are you sure?” He asks, he does look worried about you now and you blush deeply 

“I’m fine Eddie I swear” You lean over and kiss him on the nose and he smiles, his cheeks blushing 

“Alright… if you say so” His finger trails along your jaw, hooking under your chin before he pulls you in slowly, his lips meet yours pressing together softly as they move in sync. He groans quietly, you taste sweet, like those gummy bears you’d eaten. Sweet and warm and inviting

His tongue dips into your mouth, slow and languid and the way he wraps it around your tongue is absolutely sinful. Your thighs tremble as you scoot closer to him and he smirks against your lips. He pulls away a little, just to look at you.

“Fuck you’re pretty” 

“So are you” You whisper. The movie is long forgotten, which not gonna lie sucks a little, it’s a good movie. 

He smirks, kissing along your jaw and down your neck. You gasp softly when he bites down on your sweet spot, causing you to moan. He snickers, licking and sucking until he leaves a love bite. 

“Your shirt is too low” 

He says suddenly, biting and sucking on more exposed skin and your heart flutters under his lips

“W-what?” Your brain is hot and fuzzy, your panties aren’t even an ocean anymore they’re just fully soaked through 

“Need a necklace baby girl” he mumbles against your neck and your mouth drops wide open 

“Eddie Diaz!” You scold him and he pulls away. His eyes are intense, and he licks his lips slowly, looking at you like he could just eat you up and maybe he will… 

“Hm?” He asks playfully, booping your nose all innocently like his dirty ass wasn’t going to take you in the backseat if you’d let him 

“We should watch the movie, you know the whole reason we’re here!!” 

You’re flustered and hot and you’ve never wanted to jump a man more than you want to right now in this moment. He’s just so…Eddie. 

“Yeah, I suppose… you did buy the tickets after all… but I don’t know, I’m getting kind of cold” 

“Oh!” You’re surprised he’s cold at all, personally, you’re ready to rip off all your clothes with how hot you are…for multiple reasons “Here let me turn on the-“ 

“No this is fine” 

He unceremoniously pulls you over into his lap, leaning the seat back some so you’re both laid back together. You can feel him. Those pants do nothing to hide that from you in the least. His cock strains against the material and your mouth waters. 

“There we go! Nice and cozy” he puts his arms around you, cuddling you into his chest. 

Eddie holds you tightly in his arms for the rest of the movie. You shift and wriggle and he just lets you, a sneaky little smirk on his face but he won’t let you go, hell no. 

Eventually, he spanks you. He actually spanks you, right on the butt as you’re trying to climb from his lap for the fourth time. 

“Settle down or I’ll make you” 

There’s no room for any sort of argument in his tone and god is it sexy. Which is just embarrassing the way you stop fighting him almost immediately 

“Good girl” 

You pick up McDonalds on the way home, it’s pouring rain and you can barely see. Eddie watches the way your hands grip the steering wheel, your knuckles are practically white, he’d drive for you if he could, but he’s not allowed to.

“Pull over into that parking lot” He nods with a fry in his mouth as he takes your phone and starts typing “You can barely see any way it’s not safe”

“You’re not safe” you mumble, as you pull over and park in the empty parking lot. He’s not wrong, you can barely see anything in front of you. He sets your phone back on the dashboard and gets out of the car

“Eddie?! What are you doing?!” You yell over the rain when he opens your door 

“Making you relax”

He takes your hand, pulling you out into the rain with him, he leans back into the jeep and cranks the volume. You look up at the sky as you step out, letting the large drops soak into your skin. He walks you in front of the headlights and bows 

“Can I have this dance?” 

You hear the beginning notes of the song playing and you immediately melt, looking down and giggling 

“Yeah” 

He carefully wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest as he holds your hand in his. You rest your head on his chest and dance with him in the rain, the song isn’t very long but you’re both soaked through by the time it ends. He pulls off his sopping wet shirt and tosses it to the front of the Jeep and you blush, your hands slide over his chest and rest on his shoulders and he smirks 

“That’s it? Not gonna get handsy?” He takes your hands from his shoulders, putting them on his torso and you groan, letting your head fall against his chest 

“Quit it!” Your cheeks are flushed as he slides your hands over his chest, letting you feel him up and you’re trying so hard not to enjoy the way his body feels underneath your fingertips

“But I’m cold and your hands are so warm” He pouts, and you laugh at him, pulling your hands away 

“You’re being such a fuck boy right now. You know you almost had it too! Dancing in the rain and everything!”

His head falls back as he laughs and you take the second to just… enjoy the way the rain falls over his body. The little droplets you just want to lick off his body, you almost wish you could take a picture of him just like this. 

“Did I ruin it?” he asks sincerely, with a sweet smile on his face as he looks back at you, and you melt under those gorgeous brown eyes 

“Nah, I don’t think you could even if you tried” You put your arms around his neck and he surprises you by lifting you up and walking you backwards 

Your back hits the front of the jeep as another song starts to play, he holds your thighs, sliding his hands up a bit so he can hold your ass. His lips find yours automatically 

You moan softly into the kiss, your hands settling around his neck. He grins and shakes his head, pulling away and kissing down your jaw

“I love that sound,” He says, his voice low and seductive in your ear so you can hear him over the heavy rain 

“I don’t know if I can wait anymore Y/N”

“What does that mean?” You let your head fall back on the Jeep as he kisses down your neck and over your breasts, you dizzily watch him leave even more hickies, he’s making a little heart out of them and your hips move on their own, grinding against him. He looks up at you with a little smirk, watching you desperately try and get off against him. 

“The next time I get you in bed…any bed I’m going to make you want me as much as I want you” 

“I already do” you pant softly “And I thought we agreed no sex” 

“Oh we did…and I still agreed. But it’s just messing around…s’ not really the same thing if I don’t put it in baby” 

You laugh breathlessly because that’s such a childish way of making you do that… and he’s not really making you is he? Because god the way he’s kissing you, you’d let him take you in the backseat if he asked

“Well since you’ve made such a great argument” You purr softly, scrunching his wet curls in your fingers. He chuckles as the water falls down his face and he kisses your nose 

“That’s my good girl” 

“You really… really have to stop saying that” you sigh as he carries you over to the passenger side door and opens it. The rain has finally settled down some and you guys can probably drive again. He sets you down and you blush, looking down at your legs and shrugging. He pulls your soaked shirt over your head and rings it out as best he can

“And why’s that hm?”  He reaches in and turns on the heater, his body is so intimidating as he leans in close to you. Your heart pounds in your chest as he turns down the stereo and stands back in front of you 

“Just um… you just have to” you say, twiddling your thumbs. He looks at you curiously then bends down to your height so he can face you 

“What’s wrong? You don’t like being called that?” 

“Nooo…no it’s uh- it’s not that…”

“Oh?… Ohhh” he says quietly, Standing up and tilting your chin up to face him. A shit-eating grin on his face. You groan quietly and roll your eyes, he chuckles and boops your nose 

“I’ll remember that one pretty girl” 

He drives home, even though he isn’t supposed to. The heater blasts as he holds your hand, enjoying the way you play with his fingers shyly. How you’ve both ended up in this Jeep almost naked twice he’ll never know… he’d have two nickels though 

“He’s gonna kill us if we keep getting these seats wet” He jokes as he pulls into his driveway, he looks over at you, leaned back in the seat, almost asleep and he’s crushed his shoulder is hurt and he can’t carry you in like he wants to. 

“Hey… Wake up sugar cube we’re home” He gently rubs your thigh, but you don’t really come out of it much. He helps you stumble into his house, guiding you to his bedroom. 

He grabs a shirt from his drawer, watching you sway on your feet a little. Chuckling, he quietly puts the shirt over your head and places a little kiss on your forehead. It’s a little awkward but he doesn’t want you getting sick, he reaches under the shirt and takes your bra off, setting it gently on the dresser to dry. 

“This is gonna be a little uncomfortable” He mumbles before he reaches down and does the same with your panties, just tossing them into his hamper out of the way. 

“Alright, come on sleepy-pants” 

He walks you over to his bed and pulls the covers back, patting your butt and urging you to climb in. He tucks you in and smiles a little when you snuggle into the covers and let out a calming sigh. He goes to get changed into his pajamas when you whine a little, reaching out for him

“I have to go change” He bats your hand away “Unless you wanna see me naked I have to go change in the bathroom honey”

You manage to find the edge of his boxers and hold onto them, tugging a little

“Oookay... I guess I’m staying” 

He puts his hands on his hips, looking around for something to make this as easy as possible. It’s not that he doesn’t want you to see him naked, because he would drop his boxers in an instant if you asked. But you’re clearly not thinking straight right now… 

“Okay well, guess we just gotta get this over with” 

He drops his boxers quickly, hiding his cock with his hands, and reaches for a t-shirt. He covers himself up with it and reaches for a pair of dry boxers 

“Mmmm nice ass” You mumble and he snorts loudly, looking down at you. Your eyes are heavily lidded as you blink slowly, your lips slightly parted 

“Thanks, it’s natural” he snickers as he pulls on his boxers finally. He pushes you back a bit and you scoot slowly, making enough room for him to get in with you. He puts his arms around you and you snuggle deep into his chest, inhaling slowly

“Smells nice,” You say and he smiles, liking the feeling of your soft breaths against his chest 

“Thank you again… Go to sleep pretty girl, I’ve got you” 

“G’night Eddie” You mumble into his chest, he runs his hand over your hair and kisses the top of your head

“Goodnight Sugar Cube”

[meowmeow-motherfucker]

Covenant- Chapter 14

Summary: With the five year anniversary of the attack on New York approaching, Odin and Fury come to the agreement that an arranged marriage between Asgard and Earth would show good faith toward all future interactions. When Odin refuses Jane’s candidacy, Agent Coulson is tasked with finding a suitable wife for the prince of Asgard.

Pairing: Loki x OFC Claire Fisher

Word count: 10k (prepare drinks and snackies as always)

Chapter warnings: idiots in love being idiots, violence, discussion of women being abused and treated like property, things in Asgard are not what they seem

Taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @gigglingtiggerv2 @icytrickster17 @mysteriouslyfriedjellyfish @lokislilkitten @justjoanne242 @amlocked @ddmariegirl @mags-04-blog @sharris8 @meepycheep @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @the-fantasy-loving-angel @jaidenhawke @smolvenger @ladymischief11 @huntress-artemiss

Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist! Thanks for coming along on this journey with me! Buckle up gang :D

Read it on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51197938/chapters/129363727

Loki stared at the note he'd received with disdain.

Come over? I need to talk to you.

His wife was persistent, he would grant her that. She’d sent him yet another missive, this one more desperate than the last. In the two weeks since they’d returned from the coast he’d seen neither hide nor tail of his wife, and instead of knowing a moment of peace like he’d hoped, he’d been kept up to date on her goings-on by his meddling mother. Not that Claire needed the help; she’d found a way to occupy his mind on her own. He glanced down at the note once more.

What drivel. Loki tossed the note into the fire and watched the flames turn her words to ash.

“Shall I tell the princess not to expect you, Your Majesty?” Astrid asked from the doorway.

“If it pleases you.” Loki replied, turning back to his work. He had a stack of reports to sift through before the next council meeting in two days and he did not have the time to coddle annoying Midgardians.

“I shall inform her on my way to collect your supper,” Astrid replied, curtsying before she left the room and made her way across the palace. “A message for Her Majesty.” She announced at the door. Before Gunnar could so much as turn to knock, Claire ripped the door open eagerly.

“I heard footsteps and-” her face fell as she realized it was Astrid at her door. “He's not coming, is he?”

“I'm afraid not, Your Majesty.” Astrid said apologetically. Claire swallowed, her eyes downcast.

“Oh. Okay. Cool. Thanks Astrid,” She said dejectedly. “Gunnar, will you send for Ragna, please?”

“Right away, Your Majesty.”

Ragna arrived less than ten minutes later to find the princess pacing angrily in front of the fireplace.

“Fucking asshole-too good to even tell me to fuck off himself-I’ll show him!” she muttered as she turned, her stormy expression brightening as she noticed Ragna. “Ragna! Hi!”

“You asked for me, Your Majesty?”

“Yes! I’ve had an idea- I wanna have a party.”

“A party?”

“Yeah! Nothing fancy, just a couple friends, lots of snacks and drinks, games...you know, fun.”

“Would this be related to His Majesty the prince rebuffing your invitation?” Claire burst out laughing, the joy a welcome change from her crushing loneliness.

“Way to read me for filth, Ragna, jesus.” she chortled. Ragna’s face transformed into a mask of horror, her eyes welling with fearful tears as her eyes cast about for a lifeline.

“Oh no-I didn’t- you’re not filth, Your Majesty I would never-!”

“Ragna, it’s okay,” Claire soothed her. “I promise. You’re right. But let’s not think about that asshat-” Ragna whimpered as she dropped her gaze to the floor. “What do you do for fun here? Anything, anything!”

“Me?”

“Yeah! Sky’s the limit.”

“I...well- I like to dance.”

“Excellent!” Claire cried excitedly. “How about I teach you some Midgardian dancing?”

“I am invited?” Ragna asked in surprise.

“Of course; you’re my closest friend in this place.” Claire laughed. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“Well…” Ragna worried her lower lip between her teeth before a sheepish smile stole across her delicate features. “If you insist.”

~~~~

In Loki’s office, silence reigned apart from the scratching of Loki’s quill. Intently focused, Loki wrote diligently until the sound of the heavy doors to his chambers opening announced Astrid’s return. A few moments later, her footsteps arrived in the doorway to his office.

“Supper is on the table, Your Majesty.” she announced, curtsying when he glanced up at her.

“Thank you,” Loki murmured as he finished writing his sentence. “Something else you’d like to say?”

“Just that Her Majesty seemed rather disappointed,” Astrid replied, eyes darting up to meet Loki’s. “Perhaps His Majesty was too hasty in his decision?”

“No,” Loki shook his head. “She is playing a game, nothing more.”

“As His Majesty wishes,” Astrid deflected, dropping her gaze to the floor. She looked up at Loki sharply with a short huff. “You didn’t see her face. Her disappointment was genuine.”

“Her Majesty is a self-described excellent actress; of course it seemed genuine,” Loki said dismissively. He strode past Astrid, leaving the office in favor of sitting to eat his supper. “You may go.”

“I suppose even princes can be wrong,” Astrid curtsied, ignoring Loki’s icy glare as she walked toward the door. “Good night, Your Majesty.” Loki huffed as the door closed behind her, the vein in his temple pulsing as he flexed his jaw angrily.

~~~~

Claire glanced around the room with satisfaction, a feeling resembling happiness welling in her chest. She’d had an extra lounge brought in for additional seating, and plush cushions to allow for more seating around the room if desired. The low table in the middle of the room was adorned with a small selection of games and Claire’s portable speaker- ready to be pushed to the side to create an intimate dance floor when they were ready. The desk, freshly burdened with an array of delicious looking snacks, gleamed in the candlelight from the tall candlesticks standing sentry behind the heaping platters of food. A sweating pitcher of delicate glass stood alone on the desk corner, the sweet red wine inside coloring the translucent glass a ruddy brown. Freshly cut flowers dotted the room with color, their sweet scent filling the air.

It was nowhere near what Claire would have done back home, but it was nice. She wasn’t sure how many ladies were going to show up, but she was determined to enjoy tonight regardless. She looked down, hands smoothing her soft cotton tee. The shirt was a favorite, the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo emblazoned on the chest long since faded and balding in patches. A black halter top sat snug against her skin underneath, tucked inside a pair of black leggings.

So definitely not princess levels of sophistication, but it was comfortable and something she would wear to a party back home. Claire wanted to feel normal tonight, and anyone who took issue with it could kick rocks.

Gunnar’s soft knock announced the first guests arrival, the golden doors swinging inward to let whoever it was inside.

To Claire’s surprise, it was all of her ladies. They’d changed their clothes- their servants uniforms long gone and replaced with comfortable looking tunics and loose bottoms resembling yoga pants. All seemed apprehensive, uncomfortable outside of their uniforms perhaps, but stepped inside when Claire welcomed them.

“Please, help yourself to snacks and wine,” Claire said, taking the time to greet each woman personally as they passed. “I know tonight is a little different than what we’ve been doing, but I really do hope you all enjoy yourselves and that we can have a good time together.”

“It looks lovely, Your Majesty,” Kari praised, squeezing Claire’s hand when the princess clasped them together. “Whoever helped you did a lovely job.”

“Oh I did it,” Claire said. “The spare lounge and cushions were delivered, as were the flowers and the snacks, but I arranged it,” she explained. “It’s not quite like home, but it’s nice.”

“I’m most excited for my first Midgardian style party.” Kari said eagerly before moving on to the snacks. Another knock on the door announced another wave of guests, and Claire was excited to see another cluster of serving women. She welcomed them all and urged them to help themselves to snacks. The women seemed somewhat hesitant, but fell into rank behind Claire’s ladies at the snack table. Gunnar knocked yet again, and Clairelooked over to see far more of the ladies of the court than expected standing at the threshold.

“Ladies! Welcome!” she crowed, a genuine smile lighting up her face as they crossed the threshold. “I wasn’t expecting so many of you!” The serving ladies at the table had all paused, their training forcing them to abstain from selecting snacks before the noblewomen.

“One does not simply ignore an invitation to a Midgardian style party,” one lady piped up, stepping through the group eagerly. Claire did not recognize her right away- she’d not seen many women with red hair in Asgard. “I deeply appreciate the invitation, Your Majesty. One doesn’t often get party invitations from a stranger. I am Lady Ingrid, from the northern province.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Claire stuck out her hand on instinct, smiling when Lady Ingrid shook her hand. She was dressed in a deep blue dress, not overtly fancy, but classy and understated. Her deep red hair was pinned in plaits at the back of her head, but otherwise floated loosely about in a cascade of fire. “I was right then; we haven’t met before.”

“Not until this moment,” Lady Ingrid laughed warmly. “My husband, Lord Bjorn, and I arrived just earlier today to announce the impending arrival of our firstborn.” Claire’s eyes were drawn to the small but noticeable bump on Ingrid’s lower belly.

“Congratulations!”

“Thank you!” Ingrid beamed. “We are most excited. My husband wants a boy, of course, but I am so hoping for a little girl,” she swooned, her hair floating gracefully around her shoulders. “I am also most excited for tonight’s party, and a chance to become friends with Asgard’s first princess in an age.”

“Oh, please,” Claire cringed. “No titles tonight- just fun. I desperately need friends,” she stage whispered to Ingrid, who smiled brightly. Ingrid squeezed her hands, and left to join the other ladies at the snack table so she could greet the other ladies. Claire overheard her encouraging them to grab what they wanted- they were there first, after all. Claire turned to face the waiting highborn ladies, clapping her hands together. “That applies to everyone. There are no ranks or titles tonight, simply a group of women enjoying good food and good conversation. In this room, we are all equals and we will treat each other as such. If this bothers anyone, you are free to leave.”

Claire wasn’t sure if it was curiosity, or actual acceptance of what she offered, but no one left. The highborn ladies greeted her one by one, thankfully reminding Claire of their names. The seats on the lounges began to fill up, and cushions were put on the floor to give more seating. It was kind of amusing to see the highborn ladies sitting on cushions on the floor while serving ladies sat on the lounges, but Claire kept that to herself. Grabbing her own plate of snacks and a goblet of wine, Claire found a perch on a comfy cushion on the floor by the games.

“So what does one do at a Midgardian party?” Lady Ingrid asked, breaking the ice.

“I have an assortment of games we can play as a group. This one asks a question and everyone answers. I thought we could start with this one, and get familiar with each other. I have other games that smaller groups can play too.”

“Yes! Ask away!” Kari said eagerly, practically bouncing in her seat. Ragna cast her a dubious glance, her more reserved nature making her feel embarrassed to be near the center of attention. Claire opened the small box and flipped over the first card inside.

“Who is your celebrity crush?” she asked the group.

“PRINCE THOR!” Kari shouted, her eager response earning a chorus of shrieking laughter. More names were called, names that Claire didn’t recognize. Someone shouted the Gothi, which made Claire chortle to think about the Asgardian flavor of a priest kink.

“I think Hogun is very handsome.” Lady Agatha announced demurely. She was seated very primly, thin fingers holding her goblet delicately. Her blonde hair shone in the candlelight, giving her an ethereal glow.

“I think so too.” Claire agreed. “Especially when he puts his hair up in a bun-” she sighed wistfully. “He’s adorable.”

“Your Majesty-” Ingrid clucked from Claire’s left, shooting her playful side eye as she sipped from her goblet. “Lusting after a man who is not your husband?” she teased.

“Oh please, like I’m the only woman who’s ever done that,” Claire chortled. “I’m not saying I want to sleep with him, I just think he’s easy on the eyes. Agatha, want me to introduce you?” she offered the blonde, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Agatha’s cheeks blazed pink with embarrassment as she shook her head.

“At least Hogun has a sense of honor, and dignity,” Holga offered from her seat. “Unlike a certain member of the warriors three.” she mumbled into her goblet.

“Oh Norns above, yes,” clucked an older serving woman. “That Fandral has not a lick of decency- he spends far too much time thinking with the head below his belt if you know what I mean.”

“Which by all accounts is not that impressive.” Ragna offered scathingly.

“It isn’t.” Kari confirmed quietly.

“Neither are!” the women erupted into laughter once more at Fandral’s expense.

“I feel pity for whoever’s had the misfortune of being under that lout,” the older serving woman sighed. “Prince Loki however…” she grinned at Claire conspiratorily. “Stories abound about that one.”

“Oh no,” Claire shook her head, already sensing where the conversation was headed. “No no no, I am not discussing-”

“Oooh, but whatever happened?!” Agatha asked. “You were both so enamored with each other!”

“Like smitten younglings!” Ingrid cackled beside Claire, giggling like an unrepentant toddler when Claire glared at her.

“How would you even know?!” Claire squawked.

“Palace gossip, of course,” Ingrid winked. “Sooo...what happened?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Claire insisted. “I mean yes, things used to be different, and now they are the way they are now,” she said somberly, shaking her head to clear her darkening thoughts. “Anyway, who’s ready for some music?” An excited air filled the room as Claire turned on her portable speaker. A chorus of eager chatter was drowned out by the table scraping as it was moved aside to clear space for the women to dance.

~~~~

Loki stabbed at his meal with defeat. The half-eaten venison inched across the charger, metal tines squeaking. The offensive sound made Loki grumble with anger, discontent bubbling in his belly the longer he sulked. Astrid’s words ate at him, turning his voracious appetite into acid.

Was he being too harsh?

Perhaps Astrid was right. He should at least check on his wife. Chair scraping against the floor, Loki abandoned his dinner and made his way across the palace.

Instead of a morose wife, Loki turned down her hallway to hear the echoes of music and merrymaking. The tune was an unfamiliar one, with a low beat and frenetic pace.

As he came to a stop outside the door, he heard the unmistakable sound of his wife laughing.

“Who needs husbands?!” she shouted gleefully, a cacophony of feminine laughter joining hers.

Disappointed, indeed.

“Shall I announce you, Your Majesty?” Gunnar asked tentatively.

“Absolutely not. I’ve heard enough.” Loki made a swift departure, his stomach sinking with each step he took.

~~~~

The party finally died down well past the midnight hour. The snacks were all eaten, the drinks all consumed. The women had danced until their feet ached, and laughed until their faces hurt. It was a very welcome change, in Claire’s opinion, as her herd of new friends said their goodbyes. As she waved the last guests off, Claire breathed a sigh of relief as Gunnar closed the door. Only she and Ragna remained, and Claire was ready to collapse.

“Is there anything else I can assist you with, Your Highness?” Ragna asked politely. Claire looked up to see the servant standing by the door, waiting to be dismissed. Though she did her best to appear calm, Claire could see that something was bothering her. Ragna was acting strange tonight, and Claire could tell she was unsettled about something. It was later than Claire would usually dismiss her, maybe that was it? Claire had had the feeling in the weeks since Kari’s murder, if she was honest. Whatever it was, Claire hoped Ragna took her up on her offer.

“Um…” Claire looked about the room, trying to think if she needed anything else. She had the feeling that Ragna didn’t really want to leave, but could think of nothing to ask for. Ragna had already cleaned her chambers top to bottom so well that they were practically sparkling. “I think I’m all settled for the evening, Ragna. Thank you.”

“As you wish, ma’am.” Ragna curtsied, obediently turning to leave her chambers even though she felt numb inside.

“Actually- Ragna?” Claire called after the woman.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Would you like to stay for a bit?” Claire asked. “Maybe hang out?”

“Hang out?” Ragna gave a soft laugh of disbelief, blocking the doorway as she stared at Claire in open confusion.

“You work really hard and I thought you might like to stick around and enjoy yourself for a little while.” Claire had been trying (and failing) to convince Ragna to tell her who’d been abusing her. Her bruises had long since faded, but Claire remembered them vividly, and she had no doubt Ragna did too.

“Enjoy myself?” Ragna murmured the words as if they were a revelation.

“You know, relax,” Claire said. “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, it’s just that…you never seem to want to go wherever it is you go when you leave me for the night.”

“I sincerely apologize, Your Majesty,” Ragna gave a deep sweeping curtsy. “I never meant to impose upon you.”

“No, no, it’s fine; I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay. I know someone is abusing you. Whoever it is, I want to help.”

Ragna was panicked. She desperately wished to stay with the princess, but she’d said she didn’t need anything else, and she wasn’t supposed to linger. She was supposed to do whatever was asked of her and leave.

“Is there anything else you require?” she asked meekly. Please. Ragna begged silently. Please need something.

“Oh, um...I was just offering. I don’t need anything, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, that’s all.”

“I couldn’t, Your Majesty, I- I have to rise early to prepare your breakfast and-”

“Okay, that’s fine. Really, it’s okay,” Claire said soothingly, offering the nervous woman a smile. “I truly was just offering. Enjoy the rest of your night; I’ll see you tomorrow.”

No! Ragna screamed internally. She didn’t want to leave. But she had to. Her master was waiting.

“Ragna?” Claire’s voice broke Ragna out of her thoughts. “Are you okay?” Ragna nodded shakily. “You know you can talk to me right?”

Could she? Could the princess actually help her? As long as her needs were met, would she even care what odious things happened to her? No one had ever cared.

“I am fine,” Ragna lied, every word tasting bitter and wrong. “If you’ve no further need of me, I shall retire.”

“Okay then. Good night.” Claire smiled again, not a trace of ire on her face. Perhaps Ragna could trust her after all. But not yet. Not until she was sure.

“Good night, Your Majesty.” Ragna left, hating her cowardly behavior more and more with each step.

Claire let her go, even though every instinct in her told her not to. She couldn’t force Ragna to talk to her; it had to be her choice. But if she let Ragna leave, she could be hurt again.

Claire jumped up from the lounge and flung open the door, catching Gunnar by surprise.

“RAGNA!” Claire shouted down the empty hallway, eyes scanning for her friend. There wasn’t a soul in sight except for Gunnar. She was about to have Gunnar send for Ragna when she heard footsteps racing back toward her door. Ragna appeared from inside a hidden door along the hallway, looking flustered and (dare Claire hope) relieved.

“Your Majesty,” Ragna greeted her, her curtsy seamless as she came to a stop in front of Claire’s doorway. “You called?”

“Yes, I…” Claire trailed off. “Did you come out of a secret passage?”

“It is not secret, simply used only by staff,” Ragna replied perfunctorily. “Did you have need of me?”

“Yes.”

“Forgive me, I...thought you dismissed me for the evening.” Ragna looked at Claire questioningly.

“Yes, well...I changed my mind,” Ragna’s expression brightened, and her lips curled into a smile. “Come in.”

“What can I do for you?” Ragna asked.

“Absolutely nothing,” Claire replied. “You work too hard. I insist you take some time and relax.”

“I can relax in my own chambers-”

“Are you sure about that?” Claire offered. “Because that’s not the vibe I’m getting. Look-” she held up her hands to stay Ragna when the other woman looked ready to bolt. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s okay. I just want to make sure you know I am a safe person to talk to.”

“If it pleases you.” Ragna said softly as she bowed her head.

“It pleases me to know you are safe, that you feel safe,” Claire insisted. “I’d like you to stay here tonight.”

“What?!”

“I’m sure you have a long walk back, right?” Ragna said nothing. “C’mon, I’m dead on my feet and so are you.”

“I couldn’t-”

“Yes you can. The bed is huge and it’ll be easier on your back than the lounge,” Ragna shuffled after Claire without further protest, her silence testament to her exhaustion. Claire stepped behind the teak partition, stripping off her clothes and stepping into her waiting pajamas. “Do you want some pajamas to sleep in?” she asked, but Ragna didn’t answer. Claire peeked around the partition to see Ragna sprawled face down across one side of the bed. She hadn’t even bothered to get under the covers. Claire snorted quietly, padding across the floor to drop her weary frame into the bed beside her friend.

“Sorry I laid down first,” Ragna murmured. “I could barely stand.”

“It’s okay,” Claire replied. “Did you have a good time tonight?” she asked softly.

“This was the best day...I have had in many years,” Ragna smiled, the slow curl of her lips lighting up her face despite the tired slant of her eyes. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” Claire sighed as she turned onto her back. “You deserve it,” Ragna gave a soft noise of assent, and Claire grinned as she glanced over at her friend. It was far later than Claire usually released Ragna for the night, and her pleasant face was usually scrunched with anxiety by now. It was a nice change to see her happy and relaxed. “Ragna, you know you can tell me what’s going on, right?” Ragna looked at her like a deer in headlights for a moment, seeming to come to her senses as her eyes darted away.

“I cannot.” she said, her voice tight. Claire turned on her side to face Ragna.

“Whatever it is, I’ll do anything I can to protect you.” Ragna sniffled as tears welled in her eyes, and she avoided Claire’s eyes as she used the pillow to wipe her face.

“You will think less of me.” she murmured, her voice soft and warbled as she fought not to cry.

“I promise you, I won’t,” Claire swore. “You are my friend, and I want to help you. There is nothing you can say that will change that.”

“I...I can’t,” Ragna cried. “You don’t understand, I...I cannot...I have no rights. I am nothing.”

“You are not nothing,” Claire said vehemently. “You are a living, breathing person, and you have rights. You are kind, and funny and good, and you have value just because you exist.”

“Your Majesty-”

“Claire,” the soft-spoken word corrected Ragna gently. “When it’s just us, you can call me by name. You’re my closest friend, Ragna.”

“Perhaps you need better friends.”

“Please, I’d be lost without you,” Claire snorted, rolling onto her back. “I meant what I said Ragna. It doesn’t make any difference to me what it is.”

“Why are you so desperate to help me?!” Ragna hissed, her anger finally boiling over. “Why do you need to know?! Just...enjoy your privilege and leave me be.”

“Because I can tell that something is wrong and you’re lying through your teeth about it!” Claire snapped back. “Whoever it is, whatever it is, stop deflecting and just tell me!”

“No!”

“Why not?!”

“Because what if you can’t help? What if I let myself hope, and nothing changes?” Ragna asked shakily.

“Ragna…” Claire reached out to grab her friends hand in the dark. “I can’t help unless I know what the problem is.”

“Please don’t be angry with me, I- I could not bear it,” Ragna pleaded, squeezing Claire’s hand like a sailor lost at sea clutches a life raft. “I want to tell you, I do, but I simply cannot.”

“Whoever is doing this conditioned you to think no one will help.” Claire realized.

“No one does,” Ragna said bitterly. “Instead of helping, they are like bilgeshnipe, taking and taking until there is nothing left.”

“I’m not like them, Ragna, please-”

“You are not-” Ragna began to sob. “You are the only person who is kind to me, I would never-”

“Come here, honey,” Claire got up from the bed, offering Ragna a hand up in the dark. “It’s okay, come on,” she steered Ragna into the large bathroom, helping her sit at the edge of the tub. Claire started running the water, making it warm enough to soothe their feet. As the tub filled, Ragna continued to cry, her pitiful cries muffled somewhat by the running water. Once she was satisfied, Claire shut off the water before sitting on the ledge beside Ragna. “Are you okay?” Ragna nodded weakly.

“Why are we sitting in the bath?” she asked softly. Claire smiled kindly.

“My mom used to do this for me when I was upset. Something about it is just soothing, and you clearly need it.”

“Thank you.” Ragna allowed herself to be hugged, her tired frame sagging against Claire’s.

“You’re welcome,” Claire took Ragna’s weight, letting her friend cry as she finger brushed her hair. “I’m not going to push you to talk anymore. Just know I’m here when you’re ready.”

“I don’t like keeping secrets,” Ragna said piteously against Claire’s shoulder, fresh tears falling as she squeezed her eyes shut. “I want to, but I’m afraid.” Claire rubbed her back soothingly, wishing she could choke the life out of whoever hurt Ragna.

“When you’re ready to talk, I will listen,” she promised. “I would like for us to agree to always be honest with each other. To be true friends. I realize there is a power imbalance at play and if you don’t feel comfortable, I understand, but I want you to always feel safe and welcome with me. You have been kind and helpful ever since I arrived and I would like to repay that as best I can.”

“It is my job, Your Majesty.”

“I know, but I think we’ve become closer than our respective titles, don’t you agree?” Claire asked. Ragna nodded, a sheepish smile gracing her delicate features. “You’re not a servant to me, Ragna. You’re my friend. And friends call each other out, like you did earlier.”

“When you said I read you for filth?” Ragna asked, pulling back to look at Claire with confusion. “I don’t even know what that means. Are you...upset?” she cringed.

“To read someone for filth just means that you’re being brutally honest with them. I was upset about Loki and you saw right through me,” Claire laughed. “I’m not mad at all. I’m honestly glad someone saw what I was going through. I need that, because I have a terrible habit of ignoring my feelings and it helps to have a friend remind me when I’m being a dumb ass.”

“I am still your servant, Your-” Ragna stopped herself. “Ma’am.”

“Claire,” Claire nodded suggestively when Ragna looked at her with wide eyes. “It’s okay, you can call me by name.”

“I couldn’t.”

“You have my permission,” Claire promised. “Not that you need it, but it’s there.”

“I remember, from your lessons earlier tonight. You are giving me consent.”

“Exactly. I know you won’t always be able to because of rules, but I want you to feel free to call me by name when it’s just us.”

“Free,” Ragna said wistfully, kicking her feet in the warm water. “I haven’t been free in...I’ve lost track of the years. Decades, perhaps?”

“Decades?” Claire ogled the young woman beside her. “But...you look so young.”

“Bless you,” Ragna smiled. “My people have long lifespans. Not as long as the Aesir, of course, but longer than your people. I am not quite middle-aged, but I shall be soon.”

“Can I ask- what does middle-aged mean for your people?”

“I am just under two hundred years. My people tend to live close to five.”

“Wow,” Claire gasped. “That’s amazing. And you’ve been in Asgard for- you said decades?”

“Yes,” Ragna said sadly. “I have forgotten precisely when my master brought me here. I imagine it is written within the records.”

“What records?” Claire asked.

“My master was required by law to declare what property he brought back from the war,” Ragna explained softly. “All of the soldiers are required to do so.”

“All of them?” Claire felt like the air had been punched from her lungs. Military service was mandatory- Loki had said every man served at his majority. Faces flashed behind Claire’s eyes- Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, Thor, Loki-

“More do than don’t.” Ragna said softly.

“And- what does that even mean- they can’t just take people-”

“But they can,” Ragna replied brokenly. “They can and they do.”

“And what- they just force you to work in their houses or palaces like-” Claire stopped, horrified eyes darting to Ragna’s face. “Like slaves,” Ragna’s gaze dropped in shame. “No...” Tears clouded Claire’s vision as the rug was swept out from under her. It all made perfect sense now- the extravagance, the finery- all of it was to cover the massive pile of shit they’d carved their home out of. And she’d walked right in. “Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick-”

“I thought you knew.”

“No,” Claire lamented. “Ragna, I swear I didn’t know. I thought- I don’t know what I thought. I assumed you were getting paid.”

“Paid?!” Ragna laughed. “What use does a slave have for wages?”

“I’m so sorry,” Claire sobbed. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know! This is fucked up! How can I fix it? Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“I appreciate the offer, but it is such a widespread problem...I do not know that it can be fixed.”

“How do I help you then?” Claire asked. “Please. Let me help.”

“You...truly wish to help me?” Ragna asked hesitantly.

“Absolutely. What can I do? I’m stuck in this miserable place; let me use my position for something good.”

“I am afraid,” Ragna admitted tearfully. “My master...he is a powerful man, and I fear that no matter what you do-” she sobbed. “It will not be enough. I hate him so much.”

“Is he cruel to you?”

“Always. He-” Ragna burst into fresh tears, dropping her face into her hands. “I cannot speak of it- you shall hate me. I hate myself! I-”

“Ragna, listen to me,” Claire said gently, pulling the weeping woman into her arms. “Remember what I said- there is nothing you can say that would make me hate you. You’ve done nothing wrong. Please let me help you.”

“My master-” Ragna sniffled. “You already know him.” Dread settled in Claire’s stomach like a stone.

“Who is it?” she asked quietly. “Please tell me it’s not-”

“I cannot say, I...you don’t know what he is capable of,” Ragna’s chin quivered as fingers blotted the corners of her eyes. “I’ve given up all hope of escaping him. Sometimes it feels like the only escape will be death.”

“I can teach you how to defend yourself, but let’s focus on getting you safe. What do you need?”

“I’m so sorry. You’ve been nothing but kind to me.”

“That’s not going to change, I promise. I’m gonna do everything in my power to get you away from him.”

“But how?” Ragna hiccupped. “I belong to him.”

“You belong to no one but yourself,” Claire replied sincerely, clasping Ragna’s trembling hands in her own. “I swear to you, on my life, Ragna. He will never touch you again.” Ragna burst into fresh tears, collapsing into Claire’s chest and allowing herself to be cradled. Claire rubbed her back soothingly, letting her cry herself out. Inside, she burned with rage and resolve. Tears streamed down her face as she glared up at the golden ceiling. She didn’t know how she would fix this. She and Ragna were two birds trapped in a gilded cage, relentlessly poked with sticks by shady masters, but she’d be damned before anyone ever put their slimy hands on her friend again.

~~~~

Claire waited until Ragna’s breathing evened out before she tiptoed out of her bedroom. In the near darkness of the dying fire, she penned a short note and handed it off to Gunnar to be delivered.

“This goes directly to the prince royal- no one else is to look at it.” she commanded.

“Right away, Your Majesty.” Gunnar said as he accepted the note. Claire breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped back inside to go to bed. She’d sent her plea for help. All she could do now was hope Loki would answer it.

~~~~

At this time of night, very few people were awake. Gunnar was able to find a page wandering by and command the boy to deliver the message. From there, the note was brought to Loki’s chambers by the page and handed to the guard at the door. The guard, much older and wiser than the boy, leveled a deadened stare at the nervous boy.

“Please,” the page murmured. “Her Majesty’s guard said it was urgent.” The guard heaved a sigh, knowing full well the tongue lashing he was about to get. His meaty fist banged upon the gilt door, causing an almighty noise. From within the chambers, the prince’s thundering steps approached, growing louder and louder until the door opened and his murderous face came into view.

“ARE YOU MAD?!” he shouted. “What could possibly be so important in the dead of night?!”

“My deepest apologies, Your Majesty,” the guard said, holding out the folded note to Loki. “You received an urgent message from Her Majesty the princess royal.”

“Oh for Bor’s sake,” Loki growled. “It’s not enough that she must plague my waking hours; now she must plague the night as well?” He ripped the parchment open, brows furrowed deeply as he read the scrawled words. “What am I meant to do with this?”

“I-I-do-don’t know-”

“Speak up, boy.” Loki snapped.

“I don’t know, sire! Her Majesty directed it be brought straight to you; that is all I know!” Loki ticked an angry brow at the frightened boy before crumpling the missive into a ball.

“Well, all I know is that I am going back to bed. Her Majesty is a grown woman and is perfectly capable of handling her ‘urgent matter’ on her own.” A glimmer of green slammed the gilt door, making the page flinch.

“I did warn you.” The page collected the discarded parchment from where Loki had thrown it and returned to his duties.

The next day

When Kari and the other ladies arrived in the morning, Claire and Ragna were still fast asleep.

“My lady!” Kari’s harsh whisper brought Claire out of her slumber, her mumbled “Whua?” lost in the harried murmurs of her ladies. Surrounded by a gaggle of women and their owl-eyed expressions, Claire could only think of one question.

“Whattimeisit?”

“It’s past breakfast, my lady. I’ve brought you a tray since...well, since none of us had seen Ragna.”

“Thank you.”

“Is...is everything alright?” Kari asked, eyes darting to Ragna’s sleeping form.

“Everything is fine. Ragna was exhausted and I offered her a place to sleep, that’s all,” Claire rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she sat up. “She’s not in trouble, is she?”

“Her absence has been noted,” Holga said solemnly. “But if she has been with you, all is forgiven.”

“Great! Hey, since we’re all here- I want to talk all of you. Let’s go in the other room so Ragna can sleep.”

“Is something wrong?” Koza asked as Claire padded into the sitting room.

“I was hoping you could tell me,” Fingers raked through Claire’s hair as she sat cross-legged on the lounge. “I know we had a good time goofing off last night and telling jokes about Fandral and all that. But I want to make sure that you’re all safe.”

“Of course we are safe,” Kari scoffed. “This is Asgard, not Muspelheim.”

“All the same,” Claire insisted. “It’s important to me that no one is taking advantage of you, especially Fandral or anyone like him.”

“Fandral is a rake, everyone knows this,” Holga said. “But he is not a predator.”

“But like it or not, he does rate higher on the social ladder than each of you,” Claire argued. “And that means the playing field is uneven. So, just to be sure, he’s never pressured you into doing something you didn’t want to do?” The three women shook their heads. “He never made you feel like you couldn’t say no, or that something bad might happen to you if you did?”

“Men always make passes at pretty women; it has been that way since the dawn of time, Your Majesty,” Holga looked annoyed by Claire’s questions as she crossed her arms over her chest. “If they offer and we are not interested, that is the end of it. We are free to lie or not lie with whom we choose. Besides, there are always the pleasure houses!”

“Pleasure houses?” Claire balked. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; brothels exist all over Earth too.”

“The pleasure houses of Asgard are quite popular, as they house people from across the realms.”

“Oh?” Claire glanced up skeptically. “People travel to Asgard to work in the pleasure houses?” She shouldn’t judge; people did the same thing on Earth. It just seemed at odds with the purity culture Asgard seemed to cultivate.

“I suppose some might,” Holga replied. “But more likely they were brought here as trophies of war and their masters sold them off.”

“WHAT?!”

“It is perfectly legal.” Holga’s defensive shrug made Claire’s blood boil. How could she be so blasé?

“It’s disgusting,” Claire spat. “And you should be upset about it.”

“What is the point in my being upset, Your Majesty? Who would care for the opinion of one such as myself?”

“I care, and so should you,” Claire sank onto the lounge with an angry huff. “What do you know about them?”

“Not much, beyond the fact that being sold to one is a fate worse than death.”

“I can imagine. So you’re telling me that men who go into conflict have the right to bring back whatever or whoever they want?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“And they have the right to do whatever they want with their...stolen property?” Claire asked. “I’m only asking for clarification. I in no way think of people as property.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. But every action must be documented,” Kari explained. “If a man chooses for example to bring home a woman-” a collective cringe colored the women’s faces. “He is entitled to keep her or sell her, but whichever he chooses must be documented so that proper taxes can be collected.”

“So if he keeps her, he pays the taxes, but if he sells her-”

“Whoever purchases her pays, Your Majesty.”

“And there’s no restrictions on this?” Claire asked.

“None. A man is entitled to claim what he wants after battle.” Koza said quietly.

“It is how Ragna came to be here.” Kari muttered. Holga gave her a shove, clicking her tongue in anger.

“It is not our place-”

“It’s okay, I already know,” Claire held up her hand to stop the women from fighting. “Ragna told me herself. What I would like to know, if you’re comfortable telling me, is how each of you came to work in the palace.”

~~~~

Later in the afternoon, with fury still boiling in her veins, Claire took to the training field. Thankfully, Sif was there and the two were able to train together.

“Can I ask you a question?” Claire asked as they took a water break. The afternoon sun was unrelenting, scorching everything in its path, and Claire’s lungs felt like she’d swallowed fire. The soreness in her hands and ache in her bones felt good after such a long period of inactivity.

“Of course. Does something trouble you?”

“Yes, actually. What do you know about this trophy business?” Sif lowered her tankard, her brows high with surprise.

“Who told you about this?” she asked. “It is ugly business, and not something anyone with honor would take part in.”

“It turns out that several of my staff are victims of it,” Claire said darkly. “I want to help them, but I don’t know how.”

“I’m sorry to say that you likely cannot,” Sif replied. “The staff in the palace belongs to the crown.”

“To Odin.”

“Yes,” Sif nodded. “Take heart, Your Majesty. The crown does not actively abuse its staff; they are vital in order for it to survive.”

“I don’t care how nice they are- they could just as easily hire staff, instead of stealing them,” Claire hissed. “I’m sure the soldiers who brought them to Asgard got nice bonuses?”

“They were paid handsomely, if that is what you mean.”

“And where would I find records of this?” Sif’s brows furrowed, her jaw tightened as she shook her head.

“Your Majesty-”

“Don’t tell me not to look into this Sif. I need to know. Where?” Sif sighed quietly as she relented.

“Property records are kept in the library,” she said softly. “Just...I am very old, Claire. This practice has been going on since well before my birth. It is very upsetting.”

“Yes, it is,” Claire stilled, frowning as a familiar figure came into view across the field. “Son of a bitch.” Sif followed her gaze, a matching frown crossing her features as she laid eyes on Loki talking with Hogun.

“What irks you today, Your Majesty? New grievance or old?” Sif asked playfully, eyeing Claire warily as she reached for the knife on her belt.

“Both.” Claire said, letting the knife fly. It zipped through the air, pearl handle glistening as it spun end over end. A satisfying thwunk echoed across the field as the blade jabbed the wooden boards mere inches from Loki’s face. Both Hogun and Loki flinched back, startled by the sudden intrusion. The pearl handle caught Loki’s attention right away, and he reached for the knife with an angry sneer.

“Are you mad?!” Loki hissed as he wrenched the knife free. “You could have struck me.”

“Or me.” Hogun added.

“If I wanted to, I would have,” Claire said breezily as she joined the two. Sif lingered behind, warning Hogun not to get involved with a shake of her head. “I’d like my knife back.”

“Why, so you can actually strike me with it this time?” Loki scowled.

“You’re such a baby.”

“Am I meant to be grateful?”

“It would be nice if you simply remembered I exist. Not being ignored all the time would be great.”

“I’m terribly sorry you feel slighted. Shall I fall to my knees in penitence?”

“You could at least be grateful. I am the only reason you're here and not six stories under,” Claire glanced at the ground, and Loki glared at her angrily. “Why didn’t you answer the note I sent you?”

“Which one?” Loki asked flatly. “They were all so very annoying, you will need to be more specific.”

“Wow,” Claire whistled. “You are such an asshole, of like...epic proportions. Monuments should be erected to your dickishness.”

“If they were, would you be happy?”

“You think I’m happy?” Claire scoffed. “Loki, in what universe could I possibly be happy?”

“Is it truly so terrible here?” Loki asked.

“Um, obviously?” Claire rose to the bait. “I have maybe a handful of friends here, everyone I know is millions of miles away, and the one person I should be able to rely on for companionship ignores me. That’s you, by the way, in case you didn’t know.”

“I gathered that. I apologize for not coddling you; it was my understanding you were an adult. Perhaps I should furnish you with some children’s toys since you wish to act like one.”

“I’m a child because I have the audacity to hold you accountable?! To promises you made?!” Claire shrieked. “I’m not asking for much, you know. Just that you put in some kind of effort to make this work!”

“We are still married, are we not? Therefore it works,” Loki flipped the knife, holding it out to her with a guarded expression. “I’d thought you would be smarter not to attempt assassination around witnesses.”

“I was making a point, jackass.” Loki glanced sideways to the new hole in the wooden boards.

“I’d say you succeeded.” He pulled the knife back when she reached for it, delighting in the fury in her gaze when she looked up at him.

“Why are you ignoring me?” she asked. “I really need your help.”

“With what? Planning your next party?” Loki asked scathingly. “Astrid told me you were upset and I came to...apologize,” he sneered. “You didn’t seem upset at all.”

“I’m very good at ignoring my feelings; something we have in common,” Claire replied. “But I sent you another note later. I really do need-”

“I’m afraid I’m unavailable,” Loki replied. “Speak with Astrid, perhaps we can schedule something in the next...six to eight weeks?” he suggested as Fandral joined their little group. Sif wisely kept to the fringes of their bubble, scaring away anyone who strayed too close.

“You’re joking.” Loki’s arms crossed over his chest, his shoulders squaring as he closed himself off.

“We could book something further down the line, perhaps in a decade? Why not two?”

“You’re unbelievable,” Claire shoved at him, fury welling in her chest when he barely moved. “Something stinks here, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it whether you help me or not.”

“It’s not me,” Hogun offered from Loki’s side. “Maybe Fandral fell into a latrine again.”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME!” Fandral screeched. Hogun shook his head at Claire as Fandral launched his body at Hogun’s middle. The two rolled in the dirt, trading blows like overstimulated children. Claire and Loki both took exaggerated steps aside to escape the brawl as Sif waded in to break the two apart.

“I went to see it, you know.” Claire muttered as Fandral screamed about Hogun ‘embarrassing him’.

“My cell?”

“No, the bifrost. Yes, your cell.” Claire rolled her eyes, watching Sif haul Fandral up by his collar.

“Why?” Claire shrugged. A thin trickle of blood trailed down Hogun’s face as he got to his feet.

“I thought maybe it would help me understand you better,” she replied. “Whatever you think of me, that's all I've ever wanted.”

“I do not want your pity.” Loki sneered.

“You don't have it.” Loki grunted angrily and walked away, scowling when Claire followed after him with a shout.

“Leave me be, you miserable woman!”

“No! Why are you acting like this? I can't make sense of it- you promised to help me do this shit and then you just dropped me- you lied to get me to stay!”

“No, you lied!” Loki shouted. “How many times must I explain it? I am the god of lies; I sense lies, I don't tell them.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You are a talented liar, madam. I almost respect you for it,” Loki let a sarcastic laugh escape him. “You managed to fool me longer than anyone else ever has. Perhaps your government will give you a medal. You certainly deserve it after all your heroic efforts.” He threw the knife at her feet, a cloud of dirt licking at her shoes. He stalked off, leaving Claire behind speechless and furious.

~~~~

With her husband exhausted, Claire made her way to see the queen bee.

Frigga greeted her happily, offering her tea and a seat at her table. As Claire sat, Frigga set aside her needlework.

“What brings you to see me today, my dear?” she asked kindly. “Is my son still being a buffoon?”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Claire huffed. “I wanted to ask you some questions.”

“Of course, dear, what about?”

“I recently learned that Asgardian soldiers are allowed to claim trophies after battle, and that several of my staff were brought to Asgard against their will.”

“Sadly, it is still a widespread practice,” Frigga acknowledged with a sigh. “I have tried to persuade Odin to outlaw it, but he insists it is necessary.”

“Why does he think that?”

“He is of the mind that Asgard would cease to function without the practice,” Frigga shrugged. “I’ve told him that there are plenty who would jump at the chance to serve, but he is adamant this is the best way.”

“He doesn’t think Asgard can function without stealing slaves?” Claire scoffed. “If that is true, then Asgard shouldn’t exist.”

“Don’t say that, dear girl-”

“I will, because it’s true,” Claire said firmly. “If a kingdom cannot function without slave labor, then that kingdom should not exist.”

“None of us can get by without assistance,” Frigga said. “Can you honestly say you can function without your ladies to clean your chambers, to help you bathe and dress?”

“Yes, of course I can, because I’m an adult and I was taught how to care for myself and my home,” Claire replied heatedly. “Becoming a princess doesn’t change that.”

“Claire-”

“I need to leave. Excuse me.” Claire beat a hasty retreat from Frigga’s chambers with a sour taste in her mouth. What had she been thinking? Sif had said all the staff belonged to the crown; of course Frigga would be in support of it. Even if she found the practice distasteful, she still benefited from it. She wouldn’t be any help.

It was time to regroup and plan her next steps.

~~~~

Frigga found Loki in his chambers, fresh from the bath and frowning at the heap of papers on his desk.

“Mother,” he shot to his feet when she stepped inside the study. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I wasn’t expecting to be here myself, but I have concerns I wished to discuss with you.”

“If it’s about what just happened on the training field-”

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” Loki said quickly, smiling nervously when Frigga gave him The Look™. “What concerns do you have?” he gestured for her to have a seat, waiting until she’d sat down before he took up his spot behind the desk.

“I fear that Claire is going to do something drastic,” she began. “She just came to see me and was most upset about the practice of war trophies.”

“Any sane person would be; it’s barbaric,” Loki shrugged. “What of it?”

“The girl is isolated, in a foreign place with very little support in what she no doubt feels is a hostile environment,” Frigga scalded her son with a heated look. “I do not know Claire as well as I know you, but you are similar enough that I’m beginning to worry that she will attempt to take on the problem by herself.”

“That is a bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Loki scoffed. “What could she possibly do if she is, as you say, isolated?”

“I would prefer not to find out. Loki…” Frigga sighed heavily. “I simply do not understand why you are so determined to treat the poor girl so heinously.”

“Me?!”

“Yes, you!” Frigga said tersely. “Whether it be childish impudence or stubbornness, I care not. I am beyond weary of this. The entire palace speaks of little else except how you and your wife are all but at each other’s throats; even the most respectable ladies are full of gossip! You must do something!”

“Why should I care what empty-headed dolts have to say? Let them talk themselves to death; we should all be the better for it.”

“I thought you wanted to improve the public’s opinion of you. Is this the way you think to do it?” Frigga challenged, clucking her tongue in disappointment. “Like it or not, Claire is your wife. She will be your partner for the next several thousand years!”

“Then you will forgive me if I don’t hasten to make amends,” Loki rolled his eyes. “And why should I be the one to do so when she is the entire reason for it?”

“What in Bor’s name could that girl have done that is so odious-”

“She is nothing but a spy! She has no genuine affection for me at all; everything she has done since arriving in Asgard is a falsehood.”

“If she did, your loutish behavior has certainly squashed it by now!” Frigga chided him harshly. “I have eyes, Loki, as done everyone in the palace. No one would ever assume that girl was faking anything. If she didn’t like you, Claire would not suffer you at all. For Bor’s sake, Loki, you are far too intelligent to genuinely believe she was lying to you,” she chuckled breathlessly. “How could she possibly hope to fool you?”

“Well…” Loki floundered in the face of his mother’s laughter, a surge of embarrassment drawing his shoulders up to his ears. “What of this then? Anyone would make the same assumption!” he produced Claire’s folder from his pocket dimension, handing it over for Frigga to read. Frigga’s eyes darted to his as she turned a page, her eyebrows growing higher and higher as she read the remarks Claire had written.

“The girl is astute, I will credit her that,” she remarked. “I’ve also long held the suspicion that you did not act alone on Midgard.”

“Mother!”

“I know, I am old, but I am your mother and I know you better than you think!” Frigga argued. “The son I raised would never do what you have done. To the Midgardians you are still a threat; of course the girl would gather what little information she could! Did you bring this to her? Give her a chance to defend herself?”

“So she could lie even more?” Frigga got up from her seat and crossed to his side of the desk.

“Did she lie, or is it easier for you to believe she did?” Her arm snaked around his shoulders as she leaned down to hug him. “I know how your mind works, my darling. You don’t believe anyone could truly care for you, but they do. And if you truly think that girl lied to you, you are a bigger fool than you believe your brother to be.” She pressed a kiss to his temple, set the folder on his desk, and breezed out of the room.

Loki sat motionless, dazed as he stared down at the folder in front of him. Was he a fool? Had he let his insecurities ruin something before it truly began?

He’d never sensed a lie from Claire, not once. He could admit that. He’d been panicked when he first found the folder; he could admit that too. Loki cringed as he recalled how he’d behaved.

Norns help him. He owed Claire so many apologies.

But would she accept them?

~~~~

Across the palace, Claire was ready to make a move. She’d managed to procure the chambers next door to hers, claiming she ‘needed space’. She was waiting for Ragna to arrive with dinner, pacing back and forth in the sitting room.

Thankfully her wait was short, as Ragna arrived only moments later.

“Hi Ragna!”

“Good evening...Claire,” Ragna gave her a small smile, as if they were sharing a secret. “How was your day today?”

“Oh, can’t complain. Ruffled some feathers, threw a knife at my husband-” Ragna’s grip on the cloche covering Claire’s plate faltered, and it clattered to the floor noisily. “All in all, it’s been a good day. I have exciting news.”

“Oh?” Ragna asked as she plucked the cloche from where it landed. “More exciting that threatening the prince royal?”

“What’s the big deal?” Claire scoffed, shrugging as she made her way to the table. “If I wanted to hit him, I would have.”

“The prince is well, then?”

“The prince has no new holes in his annoyingly handsome face,” Claire sighed. “Would you like to hear the news?”

“I’m uncertain my heart can handle more news,” Ragna replied flatly as she dropped into the seat opposite Claire. “But I’d like to hear it anyway.”

“I put in a request for the apartment next door. It now belongs to me, and I learned it has a secret door that leads right into this room!”

“How lovely,” Ragna smiled. “Why did you feel the need for more space? Are you planning to relocate so the prince cannot find you?” she chortled at her little joke.

“Actually, no,” Claire shook her head. “The rooms are under my name, but I got them for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes. You can move in whenever you like.”

“I...You…” Ragna slouched back in her seat, disbelief written clearly upon her face. “You obtained...housing...for me.”

“Yep,” Claire chirped. “I also took the liberty of sourcing a number of guards for your door, of which you will have final choice. We can meet them first thing in the morning.”

“Your Majesty, I-” Ragna swallowed thickly. “I cannot live in rooms such as these.”

“Of course you can. I’m updating your job description. From now on, you go where I go, at all times. Which means I need you close by, day or night. No more having Gunnar find a page to find a messenger to blah, blah, blah. I want you-” Claire pointed at the secret door in the wall. “Twenty feet away.”

“But…”

“Would you like to hear the second piece of good news?”

“Is it better than the first piece?”

“I am equally excited about both.” Claire grinned.

“Somehow that concerns me,” Ragna muttered. “What is it?”

“I had a meeting today with the palace accountant. He’s helping me set up accounts for each member of Loki’s staff and mine, so that you can all be paid wages for your work.”

“You’re going to pay us?!” Ragna asked incredulously.

“It’s about time; don’t you think?” Claire smiled. “It’s going to take some time; I wasn’t sure what counts as a living wage here so the accountant is supposed to draw up estimates for me.”

“Can you do that?”

“No one said I couldn’t,” Claire shrugged as she polished off her wine. “I took charge of the household accounts when Loki and I married, so I figured it was time to put them to good use. You deserve to be paid for your labor.”

“When-” Ragna cut herself off, trying to contain the eagerness on her face. “When can I move my things?”

“Let’s go get them right now,” Claire offered. “You can crash with me again tonight if you don’t want to be alone.”

“I’d like that,” Ragna beamed. “But...my master will be waiting for me.”

“We could always wait until he’s distracted and get your things when he’s not there.”

“We would have far better chances of succeeding if we go during the day- he is always busy with meetings.”

“Great, we’ll go tomorrow after you pick out your guard,” Claire smiled. “Which leads me to phase two of my plan: exposing your ‘master’ for the cunt muffin he is.”

[qhoaaaa]

Milo with piercings and other features I imagine he has (and some hcs with Sweetheart hebehebeeheb)

Piercings!!/jewelry

He has them Dahlia piercings (lol) look them up they’re so cool

Has piercings on his ears, a few studs as well as a nose ring

Definitely buys different kinds of earrings and stuff to decorate his ears depending on the event

Brow piercing, especially on the right brow UGHH

They’re all gold colored, he also has some regular silver and black, has a few green colored studs as well

He’s gotta own a few gold chains (as a gold chain haver myself lmao), he keeps them in good condition

Sweetheart got him one as a gift and he teared up, kept asking them how much it was and they only said for him to not worry about it(it was expensive) - he wears it everyday and night and even in the shower

His neck sometimes gets nipped by the metal and when Sweetheart sees him bring a hand to rub at it, they ask, "Why don't you take it off?" And he says, "Eh, I don't wanna... it's from you, sure as hell I'm not gonna take it off."

Features:

Symmetrical beauty marks under his eyes (Sweetheart absolutely LOVESSS them, kisses his eyes a lot because of them), and on his cheeks too (genetics are INSANEEE)

Sharp canines,,, yesssss

Few patterned beauty marks on his shoulders

Most of his skin is just bare and smooth but Sweetheart loves when they see his beauty marks on his shoulders or his face when he’s taking a shirt off or resting

His back has a few long scars from sparring with the other wolves when he was younger, he didn’t want them healed fully, let them scar as a learning experience, Milo lets Sweetheart massage them or put a balm on them so the tissue doesn’t get weird, he feels all mushy (in a good way) when Sweetheart unexpectedly kisses down his scars (he makes sure to tell him it feels good too AWGWGW)

Really REALLY soft hands

Light chest hair (HSBSHS WORK WITH ME OKAY LET ME COOK)

Chest tattoo, it’s a singular design he made up himself (drew it and everything), it’s probably a symbol that’s important to him/his mother and his way to honor her, he has accompanying designs on his fingers

Tattoo of Sweetheart’s name on his nape (tell me that this wouldn’t look nice,, I’ll wait)

(Off topic but I saw a post where Marie and Colm have tattoos of Milo’s first paw prints of when he shifted for the first time and he would def do the same if he and Sweetheart have kids)

He and Sweetheart get ring tattoos on their ring fingers when discussing getting rings (I love that audio), they wear the actual rings on their thumbs

My personal opinion but he would not have grills ❌❌ (never liked those but to each their own !)

He has golden eyes (all wolves do and it’s just a variety of shades but his are golden golden and they’re so pretty, he wears brown contacts/Unempowereds see brown to cover the color)

Sweetheart has smile lines, they popped up after meeting and getting with Milo, Milo ADORES them

They used to hide their smile before meeting Milo, needless to say, they smile widely now, teeth and all and its the cutest to him, seeing that smile is how Milo knows that they're comfortable and relaxed and having fun

Theyre at least 6'3 , buff and curves THEY GOT IT ALL

Sweetheart works out at the gym semi regularly and Milo practically drools when he sees them and their muscles , they have long legs(LEG MUSCLES TOO) and he's all over them

Sweetheart loves his arms, no reason, they just do

They like to feel up and down his upper arms and his shoulders, he likes the touch

He has super curly black hair, got it from his mom (we love you Mama Greer) while most of his sisters have straight/wavy hair like their dad, no facial hair

He’s just reaaaaaalllllyyyty hot in general ouughhhhh 🫣🫣🫣

[chimerahyperfix]

RECIPE OF THE DAY

[OR: This was the most upsetting alternate looper option]

Long post because i have been cooking this in my brain for like, two months, and it's all-consuming. Also I'm not in the Discord yet because Anxiety so my ramblings had to go somewhere, and what better than one big fucking post yknow. I cast spell of fuck you mind blast on the tag/lh /j

TLDR for below: Siffrin words his wish differently, Bonnie gets trapped in a time-loop, and despite saying they're in a timeloop repeatedly nothing works and no one can help them. The normal ISAT absolute horrors ensue.

CONTENT WARNINGS: the normal ISAT tags [death, violence and trauma, suicide, self harm and unreality], Notable Pin on child endangerment and death, poisoning.

most of these get discussed ^ even if shortly

SO. THIS AU.

This is it this is my big one. Ignore me pushing the literal 12 other isat aus I have into a pile pls this is THE big one. I’m looking at the note I’ve stored all this lore in on my notes app,and it’s like. 35 fucking pages?

I've looked at a ton of alternate looper aus [that's part of the hyperfixation babeyyyy I need to consume ALL content forever and ever and ever] and I was like “oohhhh I wanna do that!!” So I literally just listened to music until I caught an idea and yikes. Looking at the AUs playlist now [it’s about 100 songs! Oops!] and I’m like [cartoony image of me laying face first on the floor]

This is a bit scattered because I wrote it over 3 days instead of working on the fic I’m supposed to be writing ooopsieeeee. Ramblings belowvvvvvvvvvv

It begins as simply as the game does. No one knows how to wish properly; so Siffrin wishes, because they know how to. The same folded leaf, repeated three times wish. Close to what is said in canon; different enough for the Universe to read it differently. No longer does Siffrin loop, because the wish isn’t about him, it’s about Bonnie and their sister. Siffrin’s wish is construed as “I wish Bonnie’s wish would come true,” and even if the Universe can’t hold onto Bonnie’s wish as they did it wrong, it CAN hold onto Siffrin’s.

And that’s the base point: EVERY LOOP, Siffrin wishes, because he wishes after he talks to them and that's where they loop back to, and its wish craft goes to Bonnie. A recipe for disaster with how much time they have!

They loop back when Siffrin gets crushed by the rock, because they can’t win while being down a party member. When they touch a tear, or when the sadnesses get the jump on the party and they all go down, or when they use the dagger equivalent [a poisoned snack], or when they get to the King. They Never Beat The King. Think SASASAaP but ISAT.

Bonnie doesn’t fight with craft, but rather craft-infused weapons. The wok and their pan for rock, a pair of kitchen shears for scissors and a cookbook for paper. Snacks for healing and buffs. And they have a cool friend that lives in the favor tree! [they get in fistfights like every five loops. Maybe it would be funny, someone just as willing to spar with them instead of trying to find the right words they can’t find because they’re a kid, if their friend wasn’t ALSO another version of themself, which bonnie clocks pretty late.] They pick up little quirks from their friends, like biting their nails like Belle, and puffing up to look bigger like Isa and stealing Dile's curses and closing an eye to match Frin's in focus. And maybe they start forgetting a little bit, just a little! The same thing over and over will get to you.

So everything essentially boils down to this. Bonnie specifically needs to be strong enough to beat the King, as the rest of the party doesn’t keep experience through loops. For a good chunk of the loops, they take advantage of Siffrin asking them if they need help and drag him into a training lesson that slowly goes from a whole emotional conversation to them quietly listening to Siffrin’s every word. [Siffrin fills this silence with random star facts that pop into their mind. This Is Important It WILL Be On The Test] Eventually the training becomes too tedious, so they start sneaking off to go fight sadnesses— and eventually just punch trees, which busts their knuckles— to get stronger faster! Everything goes downhill from there, with them forgetting to make food to them sneaking out at night to fight more to them getting reckless and uncaring; it snowballs down into “oh this could be considered suicidal confidence”.

Every loop, you say "hey, I'm trapped in a time loop", and EVERY time it is a big emotional thing that exhausts you to the point of going to bed immediately after, and everyone gets antsy and worried, and in the end the anxiety and trouble NEVER ends up mattering because the King still flattens the party every time. [And (shuffling through the sea of my notes for the au), imagine this from their situation for a second; Today, you tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that makes you cry, and you go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they will protect you, and you will protect them. You make sure he doesn't get squashed by a boulder, you make sure they find the key, you make sure they don't die. Tomorrow, you will tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They will drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that will make you cry, and you will go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they've failed to protect you, but they're trying this loop, and you'll still protect them anyway.]

And then the King fight. He grabs them and he kills them and it fucks them up. [it fucks them up, until it too happens again and again, and eventually it simply is just another obstacle you must pass, because the second his stupid hand wraps around you like a ragdoll it’s over, so you just spit in his face to make him press the trigger immediately and not drag it out for forever- imagine the most traumatic event in your entire life, repeated over and over, until it looses all meaning. It’s still traumatic, it’s sewn into your brain forever you will never forget this.]

They tell the party ‘hey, I just got murdered’, and if this au was ISAT, it would go from having a memory that gave everyone a defense buff to a memory that literally stops you from winning, randomly attaching to a party member. You couldn’t get rid of it. They’d take every hit for you, and you’d have to loop back, because you couldn’t win with an unremovable memory like that. and that’s why they stop saying things, because if the people you loved would die to protect you, something you don’t want and have the ability to stop, would you stop them?

And so everything collapses, and from that point [the start of act 4] it collapses fast.

WHICH LEADS US TO ENDLESS MY FAVORITE LITTLE THANG

if this is transparent or not I don’t fucking know and honestly. After 2 hours of fighting ibisPaint X to make it transparent I stopped caring. o7

Slight design notes tangent: the fucking. Wispy things around their limbs just kinda move around them- yknow because black holes pull things in and they are one. Their like,,,, face spike design??? Question mark on what 2 call it? It’s designed to look like their hair lol. The little star-dot things on their knuckles are important smile. Eventually I’ll post a full thing 4 them (I have like 2 pages of random doodles of them it’s craaazy)

Endless (or Ness, later on) is Bonnie’s loop-alike. They’re a little angry hater and I based them on the song Black Hole Sun [therefore they double-dip in the space theming, the little scoundrel! Imagine being both a black hole and a partial eclipse!! Damn why you taking all the space theming for!!] which was the song the whole AU was based on! Woah! Damn you carrying ALL the out of AU lore in you! They’re anger over fear while Bonnie is fear over anger.

They make me SO fucking upset. Like. I’m not being funny anymore. This is THE most upsetting character I’ve ever written. They make me cry. My entire schtik is making horror and this little creature is the most upset I've ever been at a creation of mine.

Endless is a Bonnie who, without exaggerating, literally imploded from having too much wish craft in them— hence the black hole theme. They went through an unreasonable amount of loops [i think I noted down 400??? Probably not that many, but hey, leveling is slow when half the time you rely on a scripted event that has like 3 enemies. Never really pinned anything down, but it’s a CRAZY upsetting amount.] and just couldn’t win,, and they eventually broke, and begged for it to stop— and, well, with so much wish craft in them, even without the proper rituals the Universe just couldn’t ignore ALL this wish craft, overflowing, in one spot. They asked for help and it killed them.

And then they were at the tree! And they’re helping a DIFFERENT Bonnie, who they’re upset at because what. What why is this happening? They asked for it to stop, not for a whole NEW Bonnie to exist and to do it all over again, what is this what, stop stop it. And they have to keep watching Siffrin wish, and doom them to their endless loop, and they have to tell Bonnie no, the party can’t help them like they want the party to do because the party never could help them, and it’s just going to bring them distress and heartache. Bonnie does it anyways, until the very beginning of act 4: it goes downhill from there, until they’re worried This Bonnie will end up like THEM.

They’re not the most self-confident type. They give themself the most un-nicknameable name [Bonnie still finds one that fits— Ness. They reluctantly accept it.] [Endless vc: Ness? Like? From Earthbound???] they can think of because nicknames are a love language and they speak it, and they don't think they deserve it anymore because they've Changed, and trade out the nicknames they have for the party for things they learned from Siffrin in their own many many training loops: The Sun, The Moon, The Star, The Sky, and Bonnie is Supernova, because its cool as hell and Siffrin told them that’s what happens when a star dies, and they died. Open foreshadowing. They take to closing the same eye they made Siffrin the Star loose, because if he doesn’t get to see anymore neither should they— even if that eventually becomes a natural thing, something they do now to focus. They talk about a sister they have— had, because their world is gone and she never got unfrozen, they never learned if she was alive under all that icy craft or not, and they’re not Bonnie anymore. Ness is Bonnie, but Bonnie is not Ness.

And so, when act 5 hits, they’re desperate. They can’t see it happen again, because it erased them as a person and it was terrifying enough why would you want to see it happen again? they prepare to storm the house, bevause theyre strong enough to tear it apart themself, get stopped by the party, and essentially they’ve replaced Bonnie for a loop; which would be okay, if failing didn’t mean there would probably be Two Endlesses and No Bonnie’s. By the end of the au, Bonnie, lvl 99, is like bringing a brick to a stare down. Endless, in comparison, is like bringing a bazooka to a fistfight. They can’t face the King, they can’t, it would probably mess something up [the party has them pinned as being a kid by this point— wether they realise Ness acts a lot like Bonnie or not, who knows] so they panic and wave the party off into the King’s room and fights off the remaining sadnesses to calm down.

And the Party brings Bonnie down, and they fight a fake version of their sister [who they win against, even if barely, because Nille is their sister and damnit, Nille would never hurt them, not after giving up her life for them] and they have a breakdown, and then there's two of them. There's Bonnie and there's Ness. Bonnie confronts them and they get in ANOTHER fistfight, bveause how else would two angry ultra-powerful preteens settle things, and Bonnie convinces them to come along, because their identity has been found out and damnit Nille really won't care, Ness is her sibling too.

[Nille approaches the situation carefully, but Bonnie is right: Nille sees the two of them and immediately decides she has two siblings and she wants to protect them. Both of them went through so, so much, and they saved the country and damnit it would be monstrous to throw Ness out to the wolves because they Changed. Aka I was physically incapable of letting Ness dissapear or have a bad ending they deserve the world too.]

I just I jsutt. Auguhghghghhh. au too big in my brain spill it out on the floor it goes everywhere. When you hyperfix on your own au

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics With Titles That Start With Y (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

You and I, We don't wanna be like them (ao3) - phasamtasie

Summary: Phil tries to appear cool when Dan comes to visit him for the first time, but struggles to fall asleep without his favourite plushie. When he admits to his secret, Dan answers with a confession of his own that inspires Phil’s first christmas gift to Dan.

You and Me (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Birthday sex after Dan's birthday livestream

you and me (that's all we need it to be) (ao3) - bunnyslipper

Summary: 🧡

you can hear the river from my burial bed (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: "And then Dan's flat on his back, looking up at Phil with worshipful eyes, all but supplicating, begging, as Phil looms over him like he's the god and Dan the mere mortal."

Dan brings Phil home for good.

"You look at my face a lot" (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil has a pretty new eyebrow slit but Dan decides that he could use a little make-up to highlight it. They end up in bed with Dan hovering close to Phil's face trying to do a good job while he's also trying not to ravish him or get (too) sappy.

you make me happy when skies are gray (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: “Did you mean it, Phil?” Dan asks, knowing the answer, but needing Phil to confirm it before the imprint is permanent. Dan pulls away from Phil just enough to see his face—he needs to see Phil right now. Somehow, Dan finds his eyes, barely visible in the darkness, and sees those blue eyes starting to shine with tears.

“I did.” Phil speaks resolutely, with no ounce of hesitation present in his voice. It’s the most serious Dan has ever heard Phil be, and he knows that Phil is telling the truth.

you'll find me waiting here for you. (ao3) - commonemergency

Summary: Walking down the streets of London is like walking down a ghost town, missing people posters filled the streets along with trash and cars. They’ve had many discussions of relocating somewhere safer, somewhere with more possibilities of food and other resources, but it’s hard letting go of the place that shaped you. or Dan and Phil (+ two lesbians) vs. a post apocalyptic world.

you're gonna love me (i'm gonna make you) (ao3) - handsandknees

Summary: At the end of the day they tear each other apart in preparation of putting each other back together. They glide together, in a poorly lit room on a shitty carpet in Manchester, and in the heat thick air on a balcony in Singapore. This is what love is.

you’re home (ao3) - ordanary (ghostsofjersey)

Summary: They’re halfway through the tour and Dan’s feeling homesick and guilty, so Phil reminds him that home is a feeling, not a place.

You’re Not Alone (ao3) - MiraculousBookworm02

Summary: “Hey Phil? What’s with the mistletoe?”

“I just, you know, kept thinking about all those Christmas movies with mistletoe in them and thought it would make a nice addition to the flat.”

"You're the one Buffy" (ao3) - thewakeless

Summary: Phil Lester, and his ethereal, eternal, and (at times) all-consuming affection for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Frequently featuring a certain whiny and jealous boyfriend.

you're the only place I call home (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: With one world tour already under their belts, Phil thought the second one would be a piece of cake, but as they're finishing up the American leg, the exhaustion is settling deep in his bones. He's craving more of their London home than the tiny taste his blue and green pillow can offer him. He can't quite understand why Dan isn't feeling the same homesickness he's experiencing, until he realizes that home has been a little closer than the 5,000 miles away that he thought it was the whole time.

Your eyes look like coming home. (ao3) - smallbump

Summary: Another week passes of Dan and Phil being utterly in love, they're ending it on top of a mountain, saying yes.

(TW) Your Freudian Slip (ao3) - TheOceanIsMyInkwell

Summary: “Why the fountain?”

“I don’t know. I guess I needed to feel something.”

“You feel a lot of things.”

“Not this, on most days. Not clean.”

Trans!ftm!Phil Lester is trying to start a new life at university away from his abuser, but the grip of his past seems impossible to erase. Though his best friend from online, Dan Howell, saves him from his thoughts by showing up on his doorstep one New Year's Eve, nothing is at it seems on the surface. Thrust together at the darkest time of their lives, Dan and Phil have yet to trust one another with their secrets. Then an accidental kiss, a crisis of sexuality and a subpoena for a court appearance all begin to unravel the web of pretense.

you look so good it hurts (in my favorite t-shirt) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Phil is gifted with a "Mega Dilf" shirt. Guess who picked that shirt out?

your love is my drug (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Phil wakes up with a migraine.

your love is my turning page (ao3) - buggieb

Summary: “If it’s okay, I’d like to send an email to the rescue center. Ask about a meeting for her.”

Dan pauses to mull it over, but it’s not even a full five seconds later when he says, “Alright.”

“Good, because I already did, and we’re meeting her this Friday,” Phil says, patting Dan’s knee and scampering away.

Dan wants to be upset, but instead, he throws his head back and laughs.

or the one where dan and phil get a dog

Your Mind Is A Wonder and Your Eyes are the Stars (ao3) - ThingsThatRuinedMyLife

Summary: Phil is an aspiring writer and is happily married to his high school sweetheart Sara. He has finally found peace after running from his past for so long. That is, until he meets a cocky, leather wearing, ill-mannered man in a coffee shop and everything he's ever known is altered. Including his perception on love, self acceptance, and morals. Will Phil take the risk his heart has always yearned for? Or will he forever be tied down by his past?

your own little universe (ao3) - larry_hystereks

Summary: dan considers his existence irrelevant, minuscule compared to the complexity of the entire universe. and then he meets phil, who's strange and likes plants, and leaves dan with a sense of intrigue he hasn't felt in years.

or in which dan's an existentialist, phil wants to be a gardener, and the duo journey into a new beginning neither quite foresaw.

[the-belle-siblings]

💦*Knocks on Ivan's door* Do you wanna build a snowma-

🗿I'm not in the mood for this. Go away.

💦You're upset about the Caden situation.

🗿Why shouldn't I be? I mean it would clearly be uncomfortable to cough up flowers and–

💦And you've harbored some "Unfavorable mushy feelings" for him

🗿...he's just- just a tolerable presence...

💦You're just afraid!

🗿No! What would I be afraid of!?

💦You're afraid that you'll mess everything up and ruin his life and use him until he doesn't know what to do with himself but listen to you! You're afraid you'll do to him what you did to me!

🗿SHUT UP, MISRA! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

💦NO! SCREW YOU! You're scared because it makes you feel weak and stupid and less manly! Being in love with a guy doesn't make you a girl dumbass!

🗿I- Misra- Misra please just-

💦Does having a girlfriend make me a man, stupid!?

🗿No but it's differen-

💦Different how? We're both just people and Caden obviously just sees you as a cool guy that he can somehow find a way to adore.

🗿I'm just not.... *sniff* I don't deserve anything! I don't deserve you! I don't deserve him! I don't deserve henchpeople! I don't deserve to have anyone around me! Why would someone choose to stay!?

💦...will you please let me in...? I won't make fun of you I swear.

🗿*After a moment of hesitation, he opens the door for her. He rubs his face of tears.* I'm... I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted at you...

💦 I yelled back, it's water under the bridge.

🗿I think we need to actually try to communicate... I've been... I've been a terrible older sibling to you and I've shut you out time and time again... and I...

💦*deep breath* Alright, you're not gonna like what I have to say though.

🗿I need to hear it anyways, you're my sister and.. I'm tired of treating you like an annoying prick that just lives with me.

💦 *nods quietly*

Then the two enter Ivan's room to have a long talk about their sibling dynamic even though this was originally supposed to be about Ivan and Caden. This has long gotten out of hand. It was more than high time to sit down and have a discussion about it.

[dojimas]

i've fallen mad in love with human sexuality. had an awesome professor who focused heavily on gender and queer based stuff ontop of the typical stiff "here's the reproductive system". jesus christ. so amazing. i recommend their class to all of my friends lmao.... i actually just wrote an analysis on a research report that focused on the sexuality of paraplegic and tetraplegic men. i don't like to yap online because it's stupid and pointless tbh i'm here to have fun and have a break from how stressful life is but... wowow..... i've so badly wanted to rant about things regarding sexuality, gender, even getting into kink. but man. i'm here for the cool pictures. if you wanna have an actual discussion... idk. this is not the place for it with how everyone is like locked in echo chambers and dead set on their beliefs. all i have to say is idk tear down ur panopticon?

[invisibleraven]

17. Julie introduces Reggie (and maybe Luke if you wanna go PeterPatterLina) to their family, plz?

The first year the three of them get together, they don't really discuss the holidays. Their relationship is a bit too new to really get into all that, so they have a tearful goodbye as they all leave campus. Luke is spending his time up in Canada with his grandparents, Julie here in LA with her family, and Reggie is off to Georgia to have a quiet winter break with MeeMaw and Pops.

They have an even more tear filled reunion, grasping each other tight, murmurs of "I missed you", "Together next year", and very tentative "I love you's" that lead to them having some quality time together before classes start up again.

The next year, Julie floats the idea of the guys coming home to meet her family. Luke's parents are staying in California this year, so he's cool with it. Reggie is a bit more hesitant as staying here means staying with his parents, something he doesn't exactly relish. "Nonsense," Julie says, "you can stay with me, my dad won't mind."

Reggie is fairly certain that Mr. Molina will mind, but Julie calls him right then and there, telling him that she's bringing guests for the holidays, and could they stay?

"The more the merrier mija!" Ray replies. "Just let me know about any diet things, and I'll make up the guest room."

After the phone call, a thought comes to Luke, and he has to ask. "Does... does your dad know you're dating us?"

"Do you really think I keep stuff like that from my father?" Julie asked. "I told him months ago, when I knew it was serious. He took some warming up to the idea, but he's cool with it now. I'm sure he knows I meant I was bringing you both home with me."

"Do your parents know?" Reggie asks Luke.

Luke rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, they aren't crazy about the idea, but they'll have to get used to it. If you wanna meet them over the holidays we can, but staying over is definitely not going to happen."

Neither of them ask if Reggie's parents know, because they've already had the uncomfortable discussion about the type of people his parents are, and how little of a role they play in his life. "I told MeeMaw and Pops last Christmas," Reggie admits. "They can't wait until we have a chance to come visit them in Georgia."

"Maybe over the summer?" Julie suggests. "I'd love to go horse back riding."

Plans set, they start getting together their things for the drive to the Molina household. It's not a long trek, but Julie had wanted the full college experience of dorm life, so she lived on campus, though she and the guys were debating finding a place come the new year.

She was almost bouncing as Reggie pulled the truck up her street, pointing out the neighbours who had put out the luminaria, then gasped as she saw her house. Her father had seemingly gone all out this year, all the trees in the yard were covered in lights, and the house was almost blinding from how bedecked it was. And there on the porch, beaming widely, was her papi.

As soon as the truck was in park, Julie leapt from the cab, dashing up the drive and jumped into her dad's arms, the two of them embracing fiercely, talking to each other quietly in Spanish. Luke and Reggie shared a grin, unloading their bags. Luke was going to stay for a few nights, but had to come home for dinner on Christmas Eve and stay until all the family left the next day. His parents had also demanded the three of them come over for a meal before the holiday madness, so that was planned for the next day.

Finally, Ray puts Julie down, and tries his best to look like a big intimidating dad, though he's sure after that display he comes off more as a teddy bear. Julie rolls her eyes at him, then waves at the boys standing before her, the both of them looking a little shy and apprehensive. "Dad, these are my boyfriends, Luke and Reggie. Guys, this is my dad."

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Molina," Luke says, shaking his hand, wincing when Ray squeezes, just a little. He then steps back, the polite smile never leaving his face.

Reggie bounces over, all smiles, though Ray can see a tinge of fear in his eyes. But Ray doesn't think he's the cause, so he softens his expression just a little. Gives Reggie a gentler handshake, which Reggie returns with enthusiasm. "Hi Mr. Molina, I'm Reggie. Thank you so much for letting me stay here over the holidays, I really appreciate it."

"We're happy to have you Reggie. You too Luke. Now let's go inside, get some hot chocolate and snacks on the go before we watch a movie together. Heads up, it's Carlos' turn to pick, so we're probably watching Die Hard again."

"It's still not a Christmas movie, I don't care what anyone says!" Julie exclaims as they come into the house. Ray directs Reggie to the room he'll be staying in and give Luke the option to have an air mattress in the guest room or sleep on the couch. "I will be checking beds too," he says, looking at the three of them sternly. Look, he knows they sleep together at school, and Julie has already confessed they are looking for a place to live, but under his roof, it's his rules, and they maintain that no unmarried couples share a bed. He'll have to readjust that rule should these three ever decide to do some sort of commitment ceremony, but until then-separate sleeping arrangements it is.

As the holidays go on, Ray finds he really likes Julie's boyfriends. They come back from dinner with Luke's parents a little stilted and stiff, but soon enough Reggie had them laughing, and then playing an uproarious game of Scrabble. Ray looks the other way when they spend time out in the studio, seemingly checking out the piano. He was young once, and rules were meant to be bent.

On Christmas Eve, they have to split up, as Luke did promise his parents his presence, but he vows to return on the 26'th, and they'll all be staying there until after New Years. Ray finds the house a little quieter without him, even if Reggie and Julie try to find ways to distract themselves from missing him. Ray sees how they function as a unit, and he must admit, the missing member makes all the difference.

When Luke returns, he smiles at them like he's been away for years, not two days, and Ray turns his head at their reunion, biting back a smile. During a quiet moment, he pulls Julie aside. "I like them."

She beams up at him. "I knew you would. They like you too. Neither one of them have great relationships with their families. Luke is trying with his, but Reggie.... let's just say that we all appreciate how nice you've been to him."

"Well they can both come back any time," Ray promises.

And they do. Every year without fail, the three of them return for the holidays. Some years Luke stays with his parents, but most times he just visits for dinner and comes right back. Julie and Reggie go with him some years, but not all the time. They never talk about Reggie's family aside from his grandparents, who they've visited a few times, and Ray has video chatted with. Between them and the Patterson's, they're all just waiting for the engagement announcement once school is done.

Ray relaxes on bed checks after it comes, and by the next Christmas, they're unnecessary anyways.

Plus once Danny and Luna come along? Well those two are prone to walking in on their parents all the time, so Ray just chuckles, and lets them. He considers it payback for all the time Julie did it to him.

That year, Ray sits back, watching his family open gifts around the tree, and thinks back to that first holiday together with Luke and Reggie. How he knew right away that they were special, and now he couldn't imagine a Christmas without them.

Julie smiles at her dad, then her husbands, loving her family, as unconventional as it was. And smiled as her kids shouted about the bikes they got from Santa. Reggie pressed a kiss to her temple, Luke squeezed her shoulders, and Julie relaxed back into their hold. Their arms were her home, and she was so glad that they always had been, and always would be.

[ladymariayuri]

From your time playing ffxiv, how would you say WoW compares? I’ve not tried WoW but I am intrigued.

I cannot compare the endgame sadly which I think is the most important part to discuss since I didn't reach max level but I'll give it a shot. I also only played dps in FFXIV so I can't really speak for the other roles as well as that's pretty much all I play in both games

The most glaring difference between both is that WoW's GCD is MUCH MUCH lower than FFXIV. 1.5 at the VERY worst, with 0 haste (ill get more into haste in a sec). FFXIV had a lot of off cool down abilities to compensate but those early levels were an absolute nightmare to get through.

I played Samurai in FF so I didn't even have a wealth of OGCD abilities but I genuinely enjoyed Samurai regardless. I started out as Bard until 50 and that was quite possibly one of the most miserable experiences I've had in gaming. It was boring to tears, but that's personal preference.

Anyway, WoW combat at its very slowest is usually going to be way faster than FF. You have a secondary stat that can appear on gear called haste which is usually the de facto best for a lot of classes just by nature of how it works. It reduces GCD, reduces cool downs of abilities with less than some threshold of time, I wanna say 30 seconds, increases resource regeneration, and attack speed. It's a VERY loaded stat which is why it's so good.

There are some blisteringly fast specializations in WoW. (I know FFXIV doesn't have specializations as you only get one playstyle per class; you get 3 different playstyles for class in WoW, one has 4 and two have 2.) My class/spec, havoc demon hunter, is probably the fastest in the game. It's APM can get into the 100s on a very slow day, and is notorious for its carpal tunnel button mashing, and it's a very simple class. You get haste for casting your most powerful ability, Eye Beam (if talented into this haste increase, which is another thing FFXIV sorely lacks; character damage customization). You get a fucking mind blowing 25% haste increase for using your best cool down which lasts 25 seconds and can have a 2-4 minute cooldown depending on talents. Most classes increase their haste with their cool downs in some way, which aids my case of it being extremely fast paced when you breach endgame. Whether this is good or bad is up to personal preference; personally I couldn't stand the GCD in FFXIV, even with all the OGCDs.

That's probably the longest segment I'll get out of the way since I'm autistic about it.

FFXIV also has the unique concept of positionals for melee (which I play) which ended up being frustrating as hell to play with imo. WoW has none of these (it used to have a few frontal/back requirements in the early days), except for Backstab, a Subtlety Rogue ability, getting a 20% damage increase when casted from behind. FF is overloaded with positionals in comparison.

FF community expecting healers to actually do damage and not just heal bot was surprisingly refreshing and something I did not expect, as in WoW that's not the case at all until you reach considerably high endgame levels. People were expecting this in leveling dungeons which seems elitist at first but it was fucking crazy and awesome to me to see. WoW healers are mostly straightforward when it comes to the damage department, like having 2 whole spells, except for Mistweaver Monk (thematically badass as hell with healing by punching people, but its optional) and Discipline Priest (HAS to do damage to heal; very unique and difficult spec.)

Limit Breaks are very daunting in FF. I don't use them because I'm new LOL. They are really cool in concept though. The closest comparison to this that I can think of is the Bloodlust/Heroism/Time Warp ability in WoW. It increases the entire party/raids haste by 30% for 30 seconds then cannot be cast again for 10 minutes. These abilities are unique to 4 classes so having one of those is a must, and it becomes a little bit like Limit Break when you have multiple in a raid and it's just praying somebody knows when to press it at the right time.

I think in FF healers can resurrect people while in combat which is not true in WoW, they can only be cast outside of combat except for a few classes which gain a unique resurrect usually referred to as a battle rez / brez. The brez classes make them highly desirable in endgame but they are on a 10 minute "timer" in most endgame content (but stack; if you do a dungeon and nobody dies for 30 minutes, you can brez 4 times in a row if people die 4 times on the last boss, which is not the case for Bloodlust)

Thats most of what I have to say about combat which is pretty important to me so some other stuff

Leveling: WoW is much more lenient and lax on what you do to reach max level which is not the case at all in FF. FF is very rigid on completing the MSQ at all costs on your first character which is a detriment imo. I hated FF leveling so fucking much; it was boring and a slog to get through because I don't care about the story, which is a big part of WHY I don't enjoy it. Many people do enjoy it thoroughly because they're normal and read quest stuff LOL. WOW isn't like that at all; sure, for whatever expansion is current you have to play through the campaign but it doesn't take a hundred hours, which was MY gripe with FF.

Good time to mention that wow doesn't have the class/job system for one character like FF does; you can freely swap specializations but you can only be one class per character. If you want to try a new class you have to make a new character. Frankly FF wins here, no contest.

Subsequent leveling of characters in wow is similar to leveling of secondary jobs in FF. You don't get bonus xp but you get to have a lot more freedom in how you level in 60-70 (max level) content. 1-60 is ALWAYS free and open, even on your first playthrough (was not the case last expansion, it is now though) you can go literally anywhere in this 20 year old game that you like at any point in any zone.

Story idk. I didn't pay attention in FF I'm sorry 😭

FF clears in terms of transmog by a landslide. WOW has a lot of great looking badass armor but FF just has more variety on every level. You can't be a cat girl in WoW which is heart breaking on every level; the closest you can get is a cute panda girl that does the caramelldansen.

FF has a lot more unique and interesting music compared to wow. Wow music is always ambience, and can honestly get boring at times. FF has fucking J pop and screamo and rock and classical music and that's before I even got to the end of the game. Wow has... literally nothing interesting sadly lol.

Ummm that's pretty much everything I can think of to cover I hope you liked the wall of text

[athousandbyeol]

helo helo was down for a bit but am back for now

how have you been ???? hope you doing well and fine and alright and OK and healthy and is safe.

the unboxing video is soo cutteee i could literally feel the excitement and I was squealing with yoh also I love ypur chrome bg it's pretty my guncher also the traumatic side of me whenever I saw u handling the cardholder kept seeing the letter from cher O_O am sorry am as traumatised as gun when he wakes up to an empty bed in ep12 and freaks out o.o

annddddd I saw these videos and thought you might like it

https://twitter.com/minty_licious/status/1678478467229265920?t=IKpFS9mgSS8KqPLx_qxDlw&s=19

https://twitter.com/F0XMOCHI/status/1678722424542752769?t=UKbPOeY7vYj0vZFoCJWsMg&s=19

hope it makes your day!!! <3

also that was such a beautiful topmew discussion it gives so much depth to the trailer and the pics and guess what I am someone who focuses and gives attention to eveey little detail while watching something I like tjough i don't k ow how to put them to words it's all in my head I otice it all and reading your discusiions/analysis pure bliss is what I felt <3

also I zoned out for a while and forgot whaf i was about yo say... anyhhoo... have a lovely day/night

#the unboxing video was soooo cute

#atp I feel cherkrub is like a kink for them?

#it was beautiful you are beautiful inside out

#bye see you later

#I am really sorry if I am annoying you with all these asks of mine randomly

<3

hi hi hi :) i hope you're feeling/doing better now. the weather is constantly changing so i hope you'll stay hydrated and just overall, taking care of your health ^^

thanks for asking. i'm doing well. but i'm a bit under the weather so i'm just resting at the moment. i hope your wishes for me will be granted. i appreciate it very much.

AHHH thank you :') i still couldn't believe it came waayy earlier than expected. but i'm thankful it safely reached me before other things happen in my life hahaha. i've changed the background because it didn't show up when i refresh the tab :( a bit sad but it's no big deal. wait— i'm sorry... now you've mentioned it, that moment was indeed traumatising. couldn't even imagine how lost gun felt when cher left him with only a note. <'3

op the first video! i watched it without the audio yet i still blushed! aside from it being a religion, i think it should be illegal... it has awoken some questionable things in me that i choose not to address. xD

it did make me smile :( how cute! p'book is really adorable <3 thanks for always sending me these cute videos. i'm so happy to look at them all.

i think you've seen this before but it's so best friend behaviour and i love that about them :') why are they such dorks? goodness. they need to slow down. and this too... i have tears in my eyes every time these pictures pass my timeline. how wonderful. i hope they'll be happy with each other for a long time.

oh my God, you read my discussion??? i'm going to hide now—

thank you. i haven't seen much discussion on only friends probably because the show hasn't aired yet. but i think it's fun to build up theories and make speculations before we get the real thing (just to see everything crumble because i'm always wrong xD). anyway! i'm glad the discussion provided clarity to your own input about the characters. i'm also thankful that you saw what i saw! which is cool! i'm such a sucker for colours/symbolism so it's nice to know someone sees it too.

hahahaha it's ok. i do that all the time. and i just wanna say thanks for wanting to talk with me. i have a feeling you have a lot going on in your head and i also have many thoughts. therefore when we communicate like this, i feel like my ideas are clarified to an extent, which is liberating. so thanks op for sending these asks. i'm thankful.

[yanderemeganekko]

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so scared for my health, I feel like there's no hope sometimes.

My reflux has been getting worse. Eating small meals every 3-4 hours isn't enough, leaving out all the irritating foods isn't enough, the medicine and all the little changes and everything, feels like it does nothing. I still wake up to the burning at night, I feel nauseous from both eating and not eating. There's no comfort, and there's no help.

Speaking of the burning at night, consistent sleep has become a luxury. At some point last week I started waking up at night, and it's getting worse every night. It takes me an hour or more to fall asleep, and I wake up every other hour to either pain or anxiety, and then I can't fall asleep again. I force myself to fall asleep through the stress and discomfort, and manage to sleep enough hours, but I can tell the quality of rest is worse.

I'm also getting constant hot flashes and muscle spasms, and have trouble getting deep full breaths sometimes. I occasionally feel light-headed and my blood pressure has been a bit low (100/68 on average or so), which is scary as fuck because I have no idea why. Sure, I could chalk up the hot flashes and spasms to stress, but I can't explain the low blood pressure. Isn't stress supposed to raise your blood pressure?

I wish I had an explanation for anything that's happening with my body. I originally thought the hot flashes were just the diabetes lowering my heat tolerance, but I get them constantly even with the weather cooling down.

And the blood pressure and shortness of breath? What if I have a problem with my heart? I'm hypochondriac and one of the things my anxiety fixates on is the thought of developing a heart-related hypofunction. It's irrational, especially given my EKG results have always been good, and any chest pains can be explained away by the reflux. But I've never had anything but a short EKG done, so there's nothing to relieve the anxiety.

Of course all of this could be done away with if the healthcare system wasn't fighting me to death. The doctors I've dealt with have been nice but obviously overworked, and constantly 'reassure' me that I probably don't have any severe conditions on the account of my age and gender.

And the nurses that take the calls at the call center are a nightmare. I just burst into tears mid-call with one because I asked if, in addition to having a gastroscopy scheduled (which she seemed apprehensive about already), I could meet up with a doctor to discuss my other symptoms, but she dismissed it and said, near verbatim, that "well, you just need to find your own method of dealing with the stress that's causing them". I had no idea how to continue, so I just tried to stifle my sobs and told her thank you and goodbye, and hung up. What the hell was I even supposed to say?

I have no idea what to do. I could probably afford a quick check-up with a private doctor, but there's no way I can afford the expensive follow-up tests or examinations they might assign.

I don't even have anyone I can meaningfully talk to or receive comfort. My partner and most good friends live an ocean away, my dad is emotionally constipated and prone to freaking out, and my roommate might just hate me. All I can think lately is how I just want to see my partner again.

I think about my mom a lot, how I'd feel so much better just talking to her. How much I just wanna see her again even once. How I watched her slowly die in pain and misery. How I keep getting diagnosed with all the same problems, how long do I have to live, how little do I have to live, if I get to ever see my partner again, much less have a life with him. I just want to see him. I just want to live.

I'm just so scared and feel so alone. I just want something, anything good to happen. I can't take this anymore. Please.

[jimi-rawlings]

Screwface Capital

"Screwface Capital"

And I want you now with me

And I want you now with me

And I...

I made a link with the Russians

Six figure discussions, dinners in public

My linen all tailored

My outstanding payments swift like Taylor

And boy I owe 'dem men a beatin'

But don't watch what I'm makin'

Just know I put both of the P's in opp

At the same time, I put the "pay" in paigon

Man wanna beef, don't know what the stakes is

Broad daylight, do a nigga want a day shift?

Three scales got 'em livin' on basic

My location changes quicker than gears on a brand new Porsche Cayman

I told RJ put down the line and he did

But he's got another three like H's

I gotta watch for the greed and the hatred

I'm sayin' who's on votes?

We hit up a nigga and see who's on smoke when it's that time

You can run that shit there and it's cool but you can't hear like a bad line

It's been fifteen minutes since me and her fucked and I'm sayin' "What you still in the house for?"

Girls say I'm rude but they won't never leave, 'cause you know the jab right like southpaws

Outdoors, me and my niggas are all outlaws

I tell a man speak with respect

How you gonna say that we beef with your chest

Like Sergei didn't G-lean on your set?

I do not have one neek as a friend

If it's beef on the ends than it's bleaker for them

This ting's comin' like Pokemon GO

'Cause I see man once, never seen him again

Man don't really wanna walk to the shop

Or jump in the train 'cause the ends got tension

One eye on my opps, two eyes on my friends

'Cause at least my opps, man knows their intentions

I turned a loss to a lesson

I turned a curse to a gift and a blessing

Any girl that I've got an interest in

Face interesting, body impressive

I got ninety-nine out of a hundred marks in class on my English questions

I'd get the same if I did it again 'cause I still don't know the definition of restin'

I've put blood in, I've put sweat in

I shed tears when my niggas got sentenced

I spent years with my niggas in Streatham

But you wouldn't know that 'cause you don't live this

What have you done for your siblings?

I made sure that the family's sweet

So many days that I starved myself just to make sure that my whole family eats

The Merc is a beast and I'm blackin' it out

One point nine on the plan for a house

I ain't got a memory of when dad was around

Still a child when I turned man of the house

Tell me what you know about a bag full of bills

And your mom crying out, saying, "Son, I can't take it"

And then staring in the mirror for an hour

With a tear in your eye like, "I gotta go make it"

Ever seen a good friend turn paigon?

A pretty girl glow down, turn basic?

Ever seen a nigga 'nough man rated

Losing his mind 'cause of food that he's takin'?

You're either a lamb or you're Hannibal

Good kid but I grew up 'round animals

No chick can't tell me about attitude

I got a girl from the Screwface Capital

And I want

And I, and I

And I, and I, and I, and I

And I want, and I want

And I want

And I, and I

And I, and I, and I, and I

And I want, and I want

And I want

And I, and I

And I, and I, and I, and I

And I want, and I want

And I want

And I, and I

And I, and I, and I, and I

And I want, and I want

MONTRÉAL

[bitchking-of-angmar]

Is “Kingdom Come: Deliverance” a racist game?

Thanks to the following article written by the German blogger Jan Heinemann there currently is a loud debate about the promotion of racism surrounding the freshly released RPG Kingdom Come: Deliverance in German and international gaming journalism raging over multiple social media platforms. 

Big gaming magazines such as the GameStar have written statements on the matter, there are several interviews with the developers flying around and countless other articles, tweets and blog entries all over the web yelling pro and contra the claims that were made against KC:D’s Creative Director, Daniel Vávra. Most of them are sharing misinformation and are not giving any kind of sources for their arguments.

��I’ll attempt to give an overview on the discourse surrounding this debate and actually provide some links. Very long post ahead.

What is Kingdom Come: Deliverance?

Kingdom Come: Deliverance is a story-driven open-world RPG that immerses you in an epic adventure in the Holy Roman Empire. It is a kickstarted project developed by Czech Warhorse Studios, published by Deep Silver and released internationally across platforms on 13th February 2018. Currently it can be found on the front pages of both Twitch and Steam and seems to be the most celebrated release of early 2018 so far. 

The game strives for a new layer of authenticity at its core concept in a medieval setting, refusing to utilize any sort of high fantasy elements usually found in the genre and reaching for historical accuracy overall. 

Historical Accuracy, Racism and GamerGate

This has been the cause of much debate not only in the weeks surrounding KC:D’s release but as early as 2014, when Tumblr user medievalpoc adressed the claims by Warhorse and Daniel Vávra that there were no non-white people present in medieval Bohemia [link to mpoc post]. 

While basically getting no attention on Tumblr, the post found it’s way to the Reddit subforums and became one of the targets of the GamerGate movement. Incidentally, mpoc’s inbox was filled with a massive flood of the usual death/rape threats typical for GG the next day. A lot of writers are putting Vávra into the same corner as GG quoting this TechRaptor article from 2014 (where he is also directly mentioning the accusations raised by mpoc linked above) and this picture of him wearing a #BASED shirt.

[https://twitter.com/DanielVavra/status/514453510906445825]

Other tweets from 2014 are supporting those claims. Vávra has endorsed #gamergate and compared their favorite scapegoat Anita Sarkeesian to book burning Nazis:

[https://twitter.com/DanielVavra/status/525933062597931008]

[https://twitter.com/DanielVavra/status/534856168238501888]

The debate around the exclusion of PoC in KC:D has flared up again and again on Vávra’s and Warhorse’s Twitter over the course of 2015, leading to some more arguments with mpoc: 

[https://twitter.com/DanielVavra/status/598885090580635649]

[https://twitter.com/medievalpoc/status/571035585412001792?lang=de]

A long article published by Kotaku in 2015 on the current state of development of the game finally makes it’s rounds back to tumblr, where the racism allegations are going viral and making the game known to a wider audience, which is also when I heard of the project for the first time. The Kotaku article is shortly followed by an interview with the alt-right propaganda outlet Breitbart.

 Burzum

Lastly another wave of right-wing accusations towards Vávra was caused by an interview he held at the Gamescom 2017 where he can be seen wearing a shirt of the Norwegian black metal project Burzum. While the lyrics of Burzum’s songs are not qualifying as NSBM, its founder and only member Varg Vikernes, who has been in prison for murder and arson, loves to talk about his Aryan heritage, “n*ggas” and many other subjects on his Youtube channel and blogs which makes him easily identifiable as a neo-nazi. 

While wearing a band shirt does not mean that someone endorses everything the members of said band are saying and doing, the entire context of Burzum in the early black metal scene cannot be seen as “ideologically untainted”, to word it cautiously. 

What does all of this have to do with the game?

To come to a conclusion and offer my personal opinion, let us summarize:

We have now established that the person mainly responsible for Kingdom Come: Deliverance has endorsed GamerGate, claims there have been no PoC whatsoever in medieval northern/western Europe, gives interviews at Breitbart and listens to objectively problematic music in his spare time. 

Does that mean his game is inherently racist?

No. I personally haven’t played the game and therefor have to refer to the GameStar article linked above, but according to them, the only element that can and maybe should be considered racist is the absence of PoC. 

Is this problematic content? Yes. It does sound like some historical revisionist's wet dream of a pure white middle age and this should rightfully be observed critically. Nonetheless it is helpful to put the game into perspective, for it is only taking place on 16 square-kilometers (6 square miles) map. That is tiny compared to other contemporary open-world games. And its creator may or may not rightfully claim that there have been no PoC in this very small recreation of somewhere in the middle of nowhere in 1403 Bohemia, away from centers of trade and cultural exchange. I don’t think the way this situation has been handled by Vávra or Warhorse on Twitter or elsewhere was in any way appropriate, but this does not make their final product, on which a great number of people have worked over many years, an inherently racist think piece. 

On the contrary, Vávra has stated on his Twitter that there are people of multiple ethnicities included in the game:

[https://twitter.com/DanielVavra/status/959954427103907840]

Does this still make Daniel Vávra a neo-nazi?

After a long and hard consideration and many hours of research I think I would carefully like to answer that with a “probably not”?

When I started my research for this article, I wanted to find dirt on Vávra. I wanted to prove that hypothesis laid out very clearly by Heinemann and others. I scrolled through an entire year of his Twitter feed, his follows and some of his Youtube channel and surprisingly found almost nothing that would support that in recent time. There was a liked post claiming that psychology, history and sociology are “bullshit disciplines” that “obey authority” instead of law. Some anti-Europe content. There was a person who was objecting “political correctness & cultural marxism” in their header among his follows. He follows Trump. That’s literally it. 

The evidence I have provided above is strong, but I will leave it up to the reader make up their own minds on the issue . Nonetheless I will definitely advise to read the interviews I linked above before judging Vávra or putting labels on him. I do not agree with him, but came to understand where he is coming from with his statements considering his personal background. 

[barry-j-blupjeans]

@taznovembercelebration - Wood /Gold

Carey was, quite literally, hanging off Magnus's every word. Or rather, she was perched up on Magnus's shoulder as he talked like he was a big boulder and she was a lizard soaking in the sun. His shoulder was starting to hurt, but he wasn't about to tell her to get off, because she had just gotten engaged and this was important. He had a sketch pad out in front of him as they discussed ring ideas. He had carved the ones they had used for the engagement, after all. But these had to be better.

"I was thinkin' more like..." Carey held her hand out and made an angle with her fingers. Magnus, honestly, couldn't tell what she was measuring. "Stabby? More stabby? Can you do that?"

"Like, uh, inward stabbing or-"

"No, no," Carey said. "Like, outward stabby, like a cool sword ring. Is that anything?"

"We can try," Magnus said, starting to draw a sword down. Carey shuffled, her feet catching on the back of his shirt slightly. He leaned a little to the right so she'd have more room. Carey made an approving noise at his sword sketch and they fell into a small silence, only filled by the crackling on the fire and the scratch of Magnus's pencil across the page.

After a few minutes, Carey cleared her throat.

"So I was, uhh, I was thinkin'," she said. "I don't know if it's in your skillset or anything-"

"Yes," Magnus said.

"You don't even know what I'm gonna ask!"

"I'm ninety percent sure in my skill set," Magnus said.

"Shut up," Carey laughed, whapping his shoulder. Magnus snickered. "For real, though. I was thinking like, getting these cast in gold? Does that seem silly? Gold looks really good on Killian and she's trusting me with this design so I wanna make it look good, y'know? Is that something you can do or should I find someone else?"

"Hm," Magnus said. He paused his sketch, drawn into his thoughts instead. He must have been quiet for too long, because Carey leaned back a little and asked,

"Magnus? Is that a no, or?"

"No, no," Magnus said, shaking his head. "I mean, yes! Yes, we can do that. We'd have to, uhm. We'd make the wooden ones first, probably, and then make a mold out of those? That'd be easiest."

"I'm down for that," Carey said. "Would you be doing the casting, or?"

"Nah, I'm awful at that," Magnus said with a little laugh. "Julia would have been able to do it. I just- sorry, I was thinking of anyone else who could have that I know and that's- I mean, that was her thing. It's- we can find someone else, I'm sure."

"Hey," Carey said, nudging him with a bone shoulder. "She woulda made the best damn rings in this entire planar system."

"In all of them," Magnus said, smiling. He set his pencil down and fished his wedding ring out from where it was hanging under his shirt. It had worn down over the years, but it still had the intricate they had designed together. Magnus, of course, had down the originals, but they had been destroyed with the rest of Raven's Roost.

He had spent a lot of time thinking about Julia lately. The culmination of Carey and Killian getting engaged and Magnus remembering a hundred years of his life was causing him to reminisce quite a bit. Grief all the way down, sure, but

"Wowza," Carey said, leaning in to look at it. "She did that?"

"Yeah," Magnus said, holding it up to the light. "It's real nice."

"Sure as hell is," Carey said. He tucked it back under his shirt and cleared his throat. Carey patted the shoulder she wasn't laying against. When he picked up his pencil, she continued with, "while we're on the topic I, uh, I had something I wanted to ask you, Mags."

"Go for it," Magnus said, adding unnecessary shading to the sword.

"Me and Kills talked it over and we wanted to ask, if it's okay with you, that we, uhm, we could leave a seat open. For Julia, I mean." Carey paused. "Aw, you're gonna get our sketches all wet with your tears, man."

"Sorry," Magnus said, wiping his eyes. Once more, he put the pencil down. He pushed his chair back a bit and Carey wobbled for a second before he scooped her up into his arms for a big hug. She wheezed a little.

"Is that a yes?" Carey managed. Magnus pulled back and she kicked her feet for a second before he set her back on the ground.

"Yeah," he said. Gods, he needed to keep tissues in here. "It's a yes. I- thank you. You guys didn't have to-"

"But we wanted to," Carey said seriously. "Your family is my family, Mags. Got that?"

"Are we including Merle in this?"

"Unfortunately," Carey said, grinning. She looked a little teary, too. "I love you, man."

"I love you too."

[sunflowershouto]

if your family was toxic - headcanon (oikawa, kuroo, ushijima, bokuto)

𝐚/𝐧: ty for requesting, anon! this turned into bokuto brainrot towards the end ngl i hope you enjoy. -leo

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: "hello! could you please do oikawa, kuroo, ushijima, and bokuto when their s/o's family is toxic?"

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: hurt/comfort, fluffly endings, toxic family members (specific warnings also added individually before each character)

my haikyuu masterlist

𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀

warnings: rocky sibling relationship

✰ You were incredibly nervous about bringing Tooru home for Christmas that year. He'd met your parents a few times before, but that wasn't what you were really worried about.

✰ It was only inevitable, but you'd finally reached the point where you could no longer avoid Tooru meeting your older sister.

✰ Things with her had been tense since you were kids; she always felt a need to compete with you or tear you down in order to make herself look better.

✰ Your past romantic partners had been no exception; she always found a way to taunt you for the partners you chose.

✰ Oikawa plays it cool, but he's really touched to get to spend Christmas as part of your family; it makes him feel even more closely connected to you, and he sees it as something that really symbolizes that you're a big part of each other's lives.

✰ Tooru is looking forward to it, but he can tell that you're nervous before you even leave to your family's house, and he's not shy about asking you about it.

✰ You had planned on warning him before about your sister, but every time you thought it was a good time to have a discussion about it, you chickened out.

✰ What if she ruined things between you somehow? Or what if he decided that he wouldn't want to spend time around the rest of your family just because of her?

✰ You tell him about it, and he's super understanding. He gently asks questions as you explain how things are with her, and is patient with you while you try to find the words to describe your dynamic.

✰ You leave the house actually feeling really confident now that Oikawa has assured you that nothing your sister could say or do would make him love you any less.

✰ Internally he's kind of in fight mode, but he keeps it cool cause he doesn't wanna make you think he'll start problems with her.

✰ When you get to the house, it doesn't take her long to start her usual routine.

✰ "Oikawa Tooru?" she sneers. "Isn't he that playboy volleyball star?" She really leans into the playboy part of his reputation, implying over the course of the evening that he won't be faithful or that he's just stringing you along.

✰ He wants badly to say something, but he can tell that you don't want confrontation at Christmas in front of the rest of your family, and tries to respect your feelings even though he's dying to put your sister in her place.

✰ You're at the dinner table when Tooru finally has enough.

✰ "Wasn't your last girlfriend like, a super hot model?" she asks him, then pointedly glances at you.

✰ "Can you please just-" You're cut off when Tooru interjects, placing a gentle hand over yours as he cuts in.

✰ "Look, I'm not sure what exactly you're trying to imply," he started, lying through his teeth and trying to stay as composed as possible. "But I want you to understand that whatever ideas you have about my relationship with Y/N are completely wrong. I love her very much—I wouldn't be here if I didn't. So I'd appreciate it a bunch if you could stop saying such nasty things, alright?" His hand tightens over yours and he gives her a strained smile, pretending to be his usual cheery self.

✰ You'd never really seen that side of Tooru before, and you can tell that he must be absolutely furious, with how intently he seems to be focused on keeping his cool.

✰ That seemed to shut her up for the rest of the night.

✰ As soon as you two are back out in the car after everything is wrapped up, Tooru finally drops the facade. "What a bitch!" he whined, slumping back into the seat. "I really wanted you to pour your drink on her or something!"

✰ "Thanks, Tooru," you murmur, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

✰ He catches your chin at the last second with his hand and turns to kiss you fully. When you pull back he's giving you his usual trademark smirk.

✰ "I guess that whole speech was pretty suave of me, wasn't it?"

✰ "It was until you said that."

𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎

warnings: food shaming

✰ You'd been dating Kuroo for a little over a year now, and he'd met your family quite a few times.

✰ You always seemed nervous about it, but they seemed nice enough, and he'd never seen you have any problems with them before, so he was eager to accept when you told him that your parents had invited the two of you over for dinner.

✰ It occurred to him then that he'd never eaten a proper meal with your family before, and now he was eager to make a good impression.

✰ the original outfit he had planned was way too formal and you had to convince him to change because "Tetsu- It's just a casual dinner! You're not going to the frickin' Oscars!"

✰ He could tell that you were a little antsy about the whole thing, but when he asked you what was up you sort of danced around the topic. He took note of it, but decided not to press any further.

✰ You got to your parents' house, and everything seemed normal until you sat down for dinner.

✰ "See, Y/N, this is what a meal with vegetables looks like, not the crap you usually eat," your sister teased, nudging you as she walked past you.

✰ Kuroo is slightly irked by the comment because he knows how much you worry about what you eat, but he notices the way you awkwardly laugh it off and tries not to let it sour his mood.

✰ You're halfway through the meal when you reach out to take another piece of meat from the pot at the center of the table, and your dad scoffs.

✰ "Seconds, really? That's why you're so unhealthy, you know," he mutters to you, and you frown, dropping the food back into the pot and setting your utensils down.

✰ Kuroo is so fuckin' taken aback. He just blinks at your father and his face is the literal definition of "whatthefuckdidyoujustsay?"

✰ "Excuse me," Tetsuro addresses your father, a polite smile on his face. "But I didn't hear what you said. Could you repeat yourself?"

✰ Tetsu can feel you grabbing his sleeve to try to get him to stand down, but he's legitimately pissed off, and he plans on making it known.

✰ "All I said was that she didn't need seconds," came your dad's curt reply.

✰ "I think that she can decide that for herself, don't you?"

✰ "You haven't seen how she eats, it's-"

✰ "Her decision. And I do see how she eats, considering I live with her. And I don't see a problem with it."

✰ "I didn't know your boyfriend was so disrespectful," your father muttered in your direction.

✰ "Sorry, sir," Kuroo apologized, bowing his head slightly, before pointedly adding, "I should have known to watch my mouth when it came to matters that are none of my business."

✰ Your entire family is just staring at Kuroo in shock—part of you is dying inside because you really wanted them to get along, and the other part of you is honestly super relieved that he stood up for you so quickly.

✰ As soon as the conversation passes, Tetsu goes back to being his usual charming self. He helps your mom with the dishes, entertains your younger siblings, and sends the occasional passive aggressive stare in your father's direction.

✰ Miraculously, his standing with your family seems to be mostly unharmed, but you can tell that there's now some animosity between him and your dad.

✰ You get back to your place and shut the door, sliding your shoes off in the entryway. "I'm sorry, Tetsu, I didn't think he'd-"

✰ "Don't apologize, kitten. How can you even stand that guy?" he sighs, kicking his shoes off before moving to wrap his arms around you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder.

✰ You run your hand through his hair and he's quiet for a second before he speaks again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

✰ "I just... Didn't want you to think badly of my family. They can say a lot of hurtful things, but I do love them."

✰ Tetsu frowned, holding you a bit tighter and pressing a soft kiss to your neck. "That's not right. You should say something. But look... I think you're beautiful, and I don't want you to listen to whatever crap they've been spewing at you. Your eating habits should be whatever makes you happiest, alright?"

✰ "Thank you, Tetsu."

𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀

warnings: divorced/separated parents ✰ Your parents had been separated for close to three years, and honestly you were getting pretty sick of dealing with it.

✰ Both of them were still lashing out at each other, being petty, and trying to get you to choose a side.

✰ As much as you loved them both, they could drive you absolutely insane.

✰ You were hoping that they'd be able to get it together and act like adults for just one day. You knew that they'd both want to come to your engagement party to Wakatoshi, and you really did want them both to be there.

✰ What you didn't want was all the drama that would end up following them.

✰ Toshi was already quite familiar to the resentment between your parents, but he had assured you that things would be fine.

✰ "Your parents are both adults, Y/N," he had promised you the morning of the party. "They'll know better."

✰ Unfortunately, that had not at all proved to be the case.

✰ "Dad, I thought I told you not to bring your girlfriend," you whispered, pulling him aside before he entered your apartment, where the rest of your family was already gathered.

✰ "She's part of the family, Y/N! You need to stop excluding her."

✰ "You've only been dating her for like a month!" you snapped, bringing your hands to your temples. "Just try not to start any problems with mom. Please? For me and Toshi?"

✰ "I'm not the one who starts the problems," he deflected, before stepping past you.

✰ Great.

✰ Toshi can tell when you walk back in that you're on edge, and he makes sure to stay by your side, arm protectively around your waist as you introduce him to some of your more distant relatives.

✰ You can hear the sounds of bickering from the kitchen, and you sigh as you realize that your mother must have spotted your dad with his girlfriend.

✰ As discretely as you can, you excuse yourself from the room, leaving Toshi to entertain your guests while you head for the kitchen.

✰ "I can't believe you! You bring a different girl to every holiday, it's ridiculous! She wasn't invited, so why is she here?"

✰ "I'm sorry for trying to stay connected to my child!" your father snapped at your mother.

✰ "Oh, bullshit! You only started caring about her once you wanted to take her away from me!"

✰ You don't even know where to start, and you can't get a word in edgewise; they're practically at each other's throats, and that's before your dad's girlfriend started chiming in.

✰ "Will you all stop it?!" you finally shout, not caring if the rest of your guests can hear. "Today was supposed to be for me and Wakatoshi—Why can't you just be happy for me?"

✰ You regret your words, because now both of your parents are angry with you, shouting over each other to chastise you.

✰ "Really, Y/N?! After everything I've done to support you, this is the thanks I get? You've always supported your father over me, and now you won't even defend me!"

✰ "Ever since I split from your mother, you've been cold to me! You want me to support your marriage, but you won't even let me bring my partner to your stupid party?"

✰ You can't speak around the lump in your throat, and they won't stop yelling at you. Panic starts to set in as tears well in your eyes, and it takes you a moment to register the firm hand on your shoulder, and the way that both of your parents have trailed off.

✰ "I would appreciate it if you would stop berating my fiancée," Ushijima tells them, his voice steady and monotone.

✰ You can't see the look on Toshi's face, but it must be pretty terrifying, because both of your parents look as though they've seen a ghost.

✰ "I invited you into our home because I assumed that you would be able to set aside your differences for the day in order to celebrate Y/N's happiness. I see now that I was wrong, so it's time for you to leave."

✰ Toshi's hand moved from your shoulder and slides around your waist so he can pull you into his side.

✰ "B-But—"

✰ "Was what I said unclear to you?" he asked, tilting his head. "Leave."

✰ Ushijima tells you to stay in the kitchen while he escorts your parents (and your dad's girlfriend) to the door. When he comes back and sees that you're crying, he pulls you into a hug.

✰ He's never been good with words, so he just holds you until your tears slowly come to a stop. "Are you ready to go back to the party now, love?"

✰ You nod, sniffling and wiping your eyes. "I look like a real mess, don't I?"

✰ He just shook his head. "Not at all. You're beautiful as always."

𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎

warnings: overbearing extended family, judgemental cousins

✰ Bokuto is somehow both super chill and also super protective.

✰ He'll do stupid shit with you like railing surf down a staircase, but if anyone looks at you funny his hands are rated E for everyone.

✰ And he means everyone.

✰ Bokuto is super chill with your direct family. He loves your parents and siblings, and they all love him.

✰ However, once your uncles and aunts and cousins get thrown into the mix, things get a little dicier.

✰ Bokuto's never met them before, but he's heard you tell a few stories about your bitchy, mean-girl cousins who look down on you for not being an academic prodigy or some kind of super-genius.

✰ Your extended family is quite a bit wealthier than your direct family as well, which just adds another layer of separation between you.

✰ When you told Bokuto that you wanted him to come to your family's New Year celebration, he was super excited.

✰ Honestly just so happy that you wanted him to be at a family event, because that meant you thought of him as family and he just adored that thought.

✰ Does his hair extra special that morning while you're getting ready, making sure that his spikes are extra spiky.

✰ He's in a great mood as you drive over, tapping his hands against the steering wheel and humming while he drives.

✰ You're pretty excited too, but a pit forms in your stomach as you see a luxury car parked in the driveway of your parents' house. You didn't know they would be there, and you weren't exactly happy about it.

✰ Kou's torn between being impressed by the car and getting prickly because he knows the cousins are going to be there, and he wants to size them up for himself.

✰ "Relax, Koutarou," you laugh softly, taking his hand. "I'll just ignore them like always."

✰ "Hmph. I am relaxed!" He squeezes your hand back before knocking on the front door.

✰ Your mother opens the door, and immediately your younger siblings come running to see Bokuto, and he disappears somewhere to go play with them.

✰ You go to sit down in the living room, and immediately you can feel two unforgiving gazes drilling into the back of your head. You shudder slightly, but turn to give your cousins a polite smile.

✰ "It's nice to see you again, Ena, Minako." you tell them, gritting your teeth as they give you their usual fake greeting.

✰ "Our mom told us you were dating someone eccentric," Minako laughs, "but we didn't think he'd be that much of a-"

✰ You clear your throat, your smile dripping with venom as you cut her off with a pointed glare. "Wonderful guy? Yeah, I know, right? I really am lucky, aren't I?"

✰ You'd smile and grit your teeth through whatever they had to say about you, but you made it very clear that you wouldn't be allowing either of them to speak badly about Kou.

✰ Bokuto comes back into the room after a while and takes a seat next to you, giving your cousins a smile. "So you must be Ena and Minako, huh?" he asks, trying his best to seem casually intimidating. "I'm Bokuto Koutarou. I've heard so much about you."

✰ You would have teased him for it if you weren't rooting for it to work.

✰ They practically ignore him, brushing off his greeting with nothing more than thin smiles. "Y/N do you remember New Years in middle school when that boy stood you up to visit the temple?" Ena asked, quickly changing the topic.

✰ "I do remember that, Ena," you mutter, jaw clenching. "I was there."

✰ "It was so funny, Koutarou," Minako adds. "She told everyone that she had a boyfriend and then he didn't show up!"

✰ Bokuto blinks at them, and internally his respect for you multiplies by like a thousand for not having committed murder in all the years you'd grown up around these girls. "What's the point of telling me that? What the hell's your problem?"

✰ "Huh? We don't have a problem! We're just telling you a story about Y/N!"

✰ "Yeah, a mean story! No one's allowed to embarrass my girlfriend except for me!"

✰ "She's good enough at embarrassing herself," Minako snapped, not used to being stood up to.

✰ "The hell did you just say?" you snap. Before you can defend yourself, Bokuto is on his feet, staring down at your cousins.

✰ "Hey. I don't know if you think I don't have ears, or if you think that I won't stand up for her, but you damn vultures better listen: Maybe you should think about why Y/N has a boyfriend and you don't before you say anything else about her. That's my girlfriend you're talking about, so watch it!"

✰ Your cousins leave the room, and you can tell that Kou is proud of himself.

✰ "Bo, that might be the most badass thing you've ever said," you tell him, resting your head on your shoulder.

✰ "Bad...Ass...?" he whispers in awe, going starry-eyed at the compliment. ♫ "HELL YEAH! I'm a badass!"♫ he sings, throwing his arms around you and peppering your face in kisses.