#teacher!paz vibes

[maybege]

inspired by Abbott elementary I need a high school teacher AU in which paz is like the burly handyman or sports coach or something who’s hopelessly in love with frilly dressed English teacher!Reader 🥹🥹🥹🥹

[raving-raven-writing]

Recom Headcanons

So, some of this is from my mind, but some of these headcanons I'm sure are based off others' headcanons I've seen. Also, some of these headcanons may actually be written in terms of some of my fics that I have written for Avatar. Particularly if you have read my story Lost and Found or any of my Recom Smut series. @hellpmeimobsessed You asked me to tag you, so here you go! Warning: Some of these headcanons may contain mention of past abuse/past child abuse/past sexual abuse, and may also contain content in terms of what the character enjoys in the bedroom Brown: -Was SAed when he was younger -Loves karaoke, even though he might be a bit tone deaf -Enjoys cuddling naked with his partner -Did modelling for a brief period of time before he decided to join the marines Fike: -....I got nothing for him, sorry. No hate to him, just don't have any at the moment.

Ja: -Was raised by his grandparents -Seeing the EMTs work on his grandma sparked his interest in wanting to become a medic -A sensitive soul, rather quiet and reserved -Enjoys movies, most genres except for horror; is a bit of a baby when it comes to the scary movies -Has minimal sexual experience compared to some of the others; but has always wanted to titty f**k his partner -Him, Prager, and Lopez are close

Lopez: -Is a masochist and will openly admit to it -Comes from a large family, a middle child of five. Very close with all of them. -Has problems with authority figures, always having to hold his tongue so he doesn't get himself into trouble -Very protective to those he loves or is loyal to -A rather horny drunk...this may or may not be how he and Ja got it on Mansk: -Has a light sensitivity, hence the sunglasses all the time. But also uses the sunglasses as a layer of protection of being perceived by others -Sits somewhere on the autism spectrum but was never diagnosed, comes across as just being "socially awkward" -Gives off the "strong and silent type" vibe -Was sexually abused by his uncle as a child well up until his late teen years -Definitely a mama's boy - The younger of two kids. Has an older sister named Nora -Turned to cooking as a way to cope with his trauma--found he had a gift for it and just kept at it. But also enjoys making others feel good by being able to give them a good meal

Prager: -Is a pothead -Grew up with alcoholic/drug addict parents, but was eventually fostered by an old teacher who took him under their wing -Likes most types of card games and board games -Stress cleans -Enjoys rollerblading and skateboarding -Easy going/go with the flow type of person--both in day to day things and in bed Quaritch: -Grew up on a farm -Raised by an abusive/alcoholic father and a mother that fell ill when he was in his teens -The oldest of three children---lost connection with his siblings when he left to join the military -His relationship with Paz started as her simply flirting with him based on a dare, but eventually turned into a fling as Miles was impressed by her boldness -Smokes when stressed but turns to alcohol as a bad coping mechanism if given the opportunity -Enjoys camping and hiking and being able to be out in nature so he can reflect upon life and to be able to get more in touch with his emotions -Likes to take charge in bed, but Paz is able to persuade him into being a sub in some situations Wainfleet -Has a bit of a crush on the Colonel. He thinks it isn't obvious, but some of the others see it -Is a switch in the bedroom. But prefers to be the sub when he is with his girlfriend, Mina. -Makes jokes constantly despite the fact that he struggles with his mental health--saw being the funny man as a way to make others like him -A middle child of three; has an older brother who is also in the military, but joined the Army branch, and a younger sister, who died when he was about thirteen -Grew up on a farm, although not many people know this -Grew up being rather sensitive and a "cry baby" as his brother dubbed him. Was a big mama's boy and her death damn near broke him -Smokes when stressed

Walker: -Likes to scrapbook in her spare time -Her and Z-Dog have flings with one another, but neither of them would label themselves as an "item" -Likes to sit down with a good book on a stormy day and curl up by the fire with some comforting snacks Warren: -Gives off the "strong and silent type" vibe -Has a crush on Mansk (initially unrequited?) -Is gay, but no one knows this (at first) -Is very much a wallflower, people forget he is there sometimes -In sexual relations, is very straightforward and a take charge type of guy--but makes sure that he is never rough with his partner

Z-Dog: -Grew up in a house full of men. Her mother left when she was young, so she just had her dad and her three brothers -Was very much a tomboy before realizing that she liked girls more then she liked men -Her father was a mechanic so she knows her way around a car -Enjoys physical sports like boxing and kickboxing -Chews gum as a way to manage her anxiety as well as to curb any emotional eating Zhang: -Is one of the three "strong and silent types" (with Warren and Mansk being the other two) -Rarely smiles -Enjoys shibari (Japanese rope bondage) and 69ing -Looks mean since he has a "resting bitch face" but can be quite gentle and doting with his partner -Joined the marines as a way to rebel against his parents since they wanted him to become a doctor or lawyer or engineer.

That's all I got for now. Might eventually develop some headcanons for Fike and might add on to what I have here. Hope you enjoyed reading!

[inkformyblood]

Starting this fic over again as I wasn’t vibing so take 2!

“Remembering when Din first got his jetpack.”

“Oh?” Cobb sits up, drawing one leg up to sling his arm across it. There’s a flash of hunger painted in broad strokes across his face, his pupils dilated to the point of exclusion, and his mouth curled in a grin that’s two teeth shy of being a snarl. Paz would give him everything sweet and soft thing in the universe if Cobb would let him, he’d disembowel everyone who’d raised a hand to the other man and leave them bleeding and gasping at his feet, so he’s more than willing to give him this small piece of himself.

“Set the thrusters wrong.” Paz grins, catches sight of his reflection in the curved window of the ship, and pauses. It’s him, his face of skin and blood and tufted fur, not the one he is used to seeing with painted metal and a sharp visor, and he still doesn’t look like himself. He tips his head to one side and the reflection moves as well, the scar across his nose making it seem like there’s a crack in the glass.

He continues, never breaking his stare with this new fragile version of himself. ”Wound up upside, all tangled up in the ropes, and trying to swing himself free before Teacher saw.”

[mostlyjels]

2 out of 100 days of productivity

જ⁀➴date: October 16, 2023

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ���。 goals for today: 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

- finish beneficiaries for practical research - make pr2 reviewer

―୨୧⋆ ˚ entry: - we had to read a lot of literary pieces from the american period and all of them were interesting, but what we discussed today was “dead stars” by paz marquez benitez. i was this close from dying, because of how infuriated i was with alfredo. that little piece of shit. my favorite part of our discussion was at the last part, where it was concluded that alfredo only loves himself and his idea of love (because he is a cheater!!!!!!) - another significant event today was the entrep quiz that i studied for yesterday. i think i did fine. - i was looking forward to biology today, because my teacher is really great at teaching. unfortunately she wasn’t available to teach class so she just made us jot down lecture notes. ngl, i kinda liked the vibe of just focusing on writing with music playing in the background. - for the first time in forever, i finally went home on time! i didn’t have to stay back at school anymore for random group works or what not. - i’m starting again at 6pm, because i clearly like doing everything aside from my schoolwork! procrastination is really getting the best of me, but atleast i didn’t push this onto midnight like i did last time. - finished my task at around 7:25pm...

[korechthonia]

korechthonia ITPE2024 Dear Podficcer

Dear Podficcer,

I'm so glad you're maybe making me a thing! I'm really looking forward to seeing (hearing!) what you come up with! To help us both on this journey, here are a bunch of lists!

Here is a brief list of tropes I adore:

Soulmates (both played straight and subverted, of varieties romantic to cracktastic)

Background characters getting their day in the spotlight

Canon divergence AUs & fix-it fic (including time travel shenanigans)

Polyamory

Mutual pining

Identity porn

Enemies to lovers

Fake dating

Arranged marriages

World-building

Rarepairs

Politicing - laws and negotiations and diplomacy and all that jazz

Fusions - daemons, Pacific Rim, Temeraire, but also if i don't need to know too many details and the second universe is loved enough, I'm interested

Women being awesome and empowered to succeed in whatever their definition of succeed is

Here are things I very much Do Not Want:

Teacher/student or parent/child shipping, even in AUs where that isn't their relationship

Non-con (allusions to past occurrences excepted)

Reader-insert fic

Unhappy endings (bittersweet/ambiguously optimistic is okay, just not nothing but sad)

Highly explicit and/or lengthy sex scenes

Podfic preferences:

I appreciate and listen to all lengths, but definitely have a soft spot for the 1-2.5 hour range (for chores listening!)

Massive weakness for epistolary & non-traditional formats

Very happy for sound effects and/or music, except for general ambient sound effects under long stretches of reading, but also very fine to not have any!

Repods of things I've done are totally okay!

I have blanket permission to podfic, but there's definitely some of my older fic that I've written that I am not strictly proud of - feel free to podfic any of it! But not all of it would make a good gift for me.

Peruse my bookmarks and works created for an idea of what is making me happy/intrigued right now and over time, and feel free to take up any of them if they inspire you! (But things in the "podfic me maybe" collection may have ended up there for specific challenge reasons, it's not a perfect system)

Here are details about my biggest/always happy to return to fandoms that you should know:

Star Wars

The prequels are my general focus. Massive multi-shipper of Obi-Wan Kenobi, but particularly with Jango Fett, Cody, Fox, Jaster Mereel, and Jango/Obi-Wan/[a third] (eg. Jango/Obi-Wan/Satine, Jango/Obi-Wan/Myles etc).

I love the clones! I was about to start listing favourites and then was pretty sure I was just going to list every clone I could think of. Neutral-to-positive on cloneshipping.

Adore rarepairs with Jedi and clones or Jedi and Mandalorians

Rogue One-wise, Jyn/Cassian always and forever, everyone lives AUs preferred

Mandalorian-era, I like Boba/Din, Boba & Fennec & their Tatooine crime family thing, Din & Grogu family vibes, but not Din/Paz or Din/Omera or Armorer/Bo-Katan

Sequel-wise, Rey/Finn/Poe, Rey/Poe, and Rey/Jessica Pava are the preferred ships.

Mandalorian culture, jedi culture, Tatooine slave culture, any other space culture, I will be intrigued and delighted to hear. EXCEPT the First Order or the Empire - they are space!Nazis.

Absolutely NO master/apprentice ships or Kylo Ren related ships.

Tortall

Protector of the Small era is my preferred point in the timeline!

Keladry/Dom is in fact my OTP, but aroace Kel is also good.

Incidental Daine/Numair and Aly/Nawat is fine because they're canon, but not the focus. Any of those characters individually is great.

Never really got into the Bekah series

Les Miserables

Enjolras/Grantaire or Les Amis de l'ABC-centric (excluding Jehan/Montparnasse)

Canon era or AUs that are not high school or college AUs - either different historical eras, or with added magic or specific workplaces or *something*

Greek Mythology

It is all about the ladies, honestly. Particularly like Persephone stories!

A Song of Ice and Fire

Sansa/literally anyone where she gets to realise her own power and escape from being traumatized all the time is a MUST (Jon, Tyrion, Jaime, Oberyn, Willas, and Margaery have all been hits in the past but that is not an exclusive list).

Not a fan of Dany, but dislike genocidal maniac versions of her even more.

Don't particularly care for the Bran storyline or the Iron Islands ones.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus)

Annabeth Chase, my beloved

Their later teenage years (Heroes of Olympus era) are more interesting to me than their first few years

Still haven't read the Trials of Apollo, so nothing based in that era

Pride and Prejudice

Elizabeth/Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth/Colonel Fitzwilliam are both acceptable!

Be nice to Mrs. Bennett, she's not wrong to be stressed

Goncharov

It is about Katya/Sofia and the vibes, not any relation to anything people have tried to reverse-engineer about what the plot is.

Star Trek: AOS

Jim/Bones, whole crew fic, anything with Joanna McCoy

Check Please!

Parse/Bitty/Jack is OT3, but I'm interested in any Kent ship except Jack/Kent exclusively, and as long as there's no Kent bashing I'm interested in Jack/Bitty as well

Crossover with hockey RPF is a-okay!

Hockey RPF

the Canucks are my team

Quinn Hughes/Matthew Tkachuk, Elias Pettersson/Brock Boeser, Matthew Tkachuk/Leon Draisaitl, Ovi/Nicke are some favourite ships

will not read/record anything with any players involved in assault (alleged or otherwise) or who have been vocally racist/homophobic/etc

not interested in featuring Boston or Chicago, or players born after 2000

[mikeisthricedeceased]

Ask Prompts & Headcanons

Current ~*~*~*~

Confidence | AO3

Based on Asks ~*~*~*~

Star Wars Boys

Mando

First kiss | omega!Din | Thigh ride and BJ | Huddle for warmth | Comfort after a bad experience (Earth!Reader) | Clan of Three

Paz

Thigh riding | Gloves off

Boba

Hungry | Smother with love

Poe

Spanking | Soft

Pedro Boys

When they know they have feelings for you

Ezra

Choking | Hug | You always smell so good | Is that so? | Job gone wrong

Oberyn

Riding him | Knifeplay | Dirty Talk | Thankful

Marcus Pike

Praise and BJ | Using a vibe | It’s like magic | Hurt/Comfort

Marcus Moreno

Riding him (soft) | Riding him (rough) | Hot | Rivals to Lovers

Frankie

Type of Dom | Fork | Flirting with Teacher

Javi G

Eating Out | Put Him In His Place

Whiskey

Rope | His lasso

Javi P

Riding his face | Wink | Broken

Tovar

Melody

Dio

Kinks

Oscar Boys

Santi

Type of Dom | Kinks and Fantasies

Marc Spector

Omegaverse: Alpha!Reader

Steven Grant

Omegaverse: Alpha!Reader

Jake Lockley

Omegaverse: Alpha!Reader

Mayans MC Boys

Angel Reyes

Bite | Heart | Lick | Go

EZ Reyes

Soft praise

Marvel Boys

Frank Castle

Cock slapping | Spanking | Pegging + Ass eating | Titty Worship + Pegging (implied) | Lick

Matt Murdock

He passes out during play | Tied up

Billy Russo

Teasing him (kinky) | After a Long Day | Werewolf!Billy | Edging

Shadow & Bone

The Darkling

Spare time

Multifandom

Driving

~*~*~*~

Taglist

~ Mike

[sanctimoniousscrawlings]

Prompt #1 : Lull of the Forest

 Greenvale is quaint. At least that’s what the townsfolk say. Personally, I’ve never been fond of life here. Half the people here are ignorant and bigoted. They’re nosy and self-serving. Nine times out of ten I’ve found that the thick veneer of kindness and good ol’ fashioned neighborliness is born of duplicity, and to be quite honest it’s exhausting.

 I’ve been saving money to leave since I turned sixteen and got my first job in the town’s only book store- a tiny thing, barely larger than my room back in my apartment. I’ve been thinking of moving to a big city- it may be too crowded for my taste but I’ve found that it has the opposite vibe to small towns. People start out assholish and then turn out to be kind. It’s a pleasant surprise.

  Here I am ten years later with only half the cash I would need to get my own place somewhere I’d actually like to be. I’m scrolling through real estate sites and beginning to reconsider the whole roommate thing, much as I revile the thought of having to live with random strangers when my phone pings. It’s my best friend, Demeter.

 D: omg Riley did you hear  Me: oyg did I hear what?  Me: and are you sure I can’t convince you to come with me  D: Dylan is gone and certainly not, you know I can’t stand urban environments  Me: pls tell me he absconded from the woods with his tail between his legs and the only thing he left behind was a trail of urine  Me: I really don’t want him living next door to me again  D: ...  D: i heard the fairy house is a pretty grizzly scene  Me: wow  Me: guess i won’t have to live next door to him after all. neat.  D: i know he was an asshole but do you need to be so blase about it?  Me: only as much as he needed to chase me with a MIG torch  Me: look, i know you aren’t supposed to speak ill of the dead (but honestly he shouldn’t have been such a dick) and I wouldn’t wish death on anyone- but I definitely don’t have to care that he’s gone  Me: besides, he probably pissed off whatever’s in those woods. haven’t you noticed that when the people who live in that house are super cool, the hidden folk just play (mostly) harmless pranks- and they have never ever attacked children  D: no, they just kill the parents and steal the kids  Me: the bad parents. We both know the Bonners were abusing their kids. And pretty heavily. How many times did you call cps on them?  D: ...monthly. But that doesn’t make it right. Those kids are probably scarred for life- and scared.  Me: maybe. I think I might try buying the place tbh- I don’t even have half the money for a place in any of the cities I wanted to move to but I have more than enough for that place. It’ll be a dent in my funds, but I think it will be worth it.  D: what  Me: hear me out: I’m a misanthropist. They are clearly also not fond of people. Maybe we’ll get along. Plus, I can keep the deed to this place to protect the forest from the idiots in town moving in.  D: First of all that’s a stupid idea. Second of all, you’re too kind to be a misanthropist. You’re just a curmudgeon. A philanthropic curmudgeon.  Me: what  Me: that doesn’t even make sense  D: you’re grumpy af but I’ve never seen you do anything to cause even the people you hate the most harm. Hell, how often did you help Dylan with his homework or share your food with the delinquents who couldn’t afford lunch when we were in school.  D: the whole “I hate humankind blah blah blah destroy all humans” thing is just a front because you always had this complex about helping everyone and it kept backfiring. And then after Ashe...  Me: sorry, Demi, gotta go. I’ve got paperwork to fill out.  D: DON’T YOU DARE MOVE INTO THAT HOUSE I S2G RILEY ANDREW FERGUSON

 I know she cares but I really can’t deal with this right now. I’ve got a house to buy.

 For the next two weeks, I avoid Demeter. I love her but she’s overbearing sometimes and I’m not gonna let her talk me out of this. All the paperwork is taken care of and fortunately, my lease was ending at the end of the month so this should prove to be a smooth transition. All my packing is complete and I get to move into my new place in another few days.  My shift ended at the bookstore so I head back to the apartment only to find a grey slip of a man waiting for me.  “Riley Ferguson, there you are. Your presence is required at the law office of Paz & Squalor. If you have some time to accompany me there, I urge you to.” His voice was strained and gravelly. “It concerns the property in the woods.”  “Sure thing. Let’s go.” I wonder if there’s a hitch in the bureaucratic workings and if there is I’m damn well gonna sort it out.

 An hour later and I’m in Ms. Paz’s office. She peers across the desk at me with a grave look on her face and I can see that she’s mulling something over. The look of concern in her eyes is disconcerting.  She starts abruptly, clearly having decided to get on with whatever I’m here for. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Ferguson.”  “Loss?”  “Dylan Daniels. You are Riley Andrew Ferguson, correct?”  I nod, but the confusion on my face doesn’t assuage her concerns.  “He left the house to you in his will. And everything in it.” She opens a dwarer of her desk and pulls out an envelope, clutching it to his chest. “He also left you this.” She extends the envelope across the desk. “Sorry it took so long to get this to you. The police only found his will a few days ago- everyone was unaware he even had one until then. I just need you to sign some things.” She pushes a stack of papers and a nice pen across the desk. I’m too stuned to respond. “Riley.” She pauses and reaches a hand across the desk to squeeze mine. “I know this must be very hard for you. Take all the time you need.”  The next few hours are a blur. I find myself at my desk, clutching the sealed envelope. There’s no way this isn’t some sort of prank. He probably has the entire town in on it- they have always distrusted me here. People gossip about what sort of mental issues I may or may have. “He has the autism,” is the most favored line I hear from the elderly ladies at the old rumor mill. I am a hundred percent sure they don’t even know what autism is- and to be honest that gets to me far more than them actually suggesting I’m on the spectrum. There are worse rumors of course. I have schizophrenia and murdered my own family in a hallucination. Or I’m a sociopath and did it in cold blood. Of course, it doesn’t matter that I was asleep in the back room at work at the time- trying to avoid going home. My boss is a little scenile and his word isn’t good enough to assuage the good people of Greenvale.  They’d probably accuse me of doing Dylan in, too, if it weren’t for his proximity to the woods.  Deep breath. I open the envelope. There’s a letter inside. When I pull it out, another piece of paper drifts down to the floor. It’s stained with graphite- the pencil must have been smeared. I reach down to pick it up and freeze before I can. I recognize my own writing on the small paper. What the actual hell?  I pick it up and read it, wracked with anxiety. It’s a poem. It’s a poem I wrote in eighth grade. A flashback takes me back to when I wrote it. My first real crush on a guy. It was a boy I had P.E. with every year of middle school. I had just started dating a girl I rode the bus home with when I realized that I liked this guy and the poem quite bluntly reflected the turbulent emotions I was feeling at the time. I had a firm grasp on metaphors but even now subtly and nuance elude me when I experience emotion- which happens far more often than I would prefer. More importantly, why would he have this?  How did he even- I’m hit with another memory. I wrote that the day that little demon stabbed me in the hand with a pencil. I still have the black mark under my skin. Bastard gave me my first tattoo. He must have taken it from my binder when I was in the nurse’s office. Okay. But why would he keep this? It was fuel he could have used to burn me before I came out my senior year.  I remember the letter. With some trepidation, I begin to read it.

Riley,

 I was really hoping to tell you this in person. Frankly, I’ve been trying to for years but you evaded me at every turn. You can’t evade me at this one, though. My death ensured that- that is unless you’re not reading this and I misjudged your caliber on the whole fairy house thing. I don’t know, I figure you’d thrive there for some reason. I think Walt Whitman said something about the strongest tree in the forest is the one that sprouts against all odds.

 My eye twitches at the butchering of the quote and that he confused Walt Disney with Walt Whitman, but I carry on.

 Anyways, sorry not sorry for rambling. I like you. No, that’s putting it mildly. I think I’ve been in love with your weirdness since we first sat together in that class. I had hoped you wrote this poem about me but was too afraid to ever ask you about it. I know it’s no consolation for the animosity I displayed toward you, but I was just so terrified. Your presence left me unsettled and we got stuck together so much after that. So I reciprocated and instilled the fear in you that you put in me. It was wrong and I really am so sorry. Now you know how I feel, though. I bet the creatures of the forest got me. If I’m right, you owe me a kiss when next we meet, wherever that may be.

         Love,              Dylan Daniels. P.S. And I mean love. P.P.S. I know I got the quote entirely wrong. I bet you did that thing where your eye twitches when you can’t correct someone cuz you’re frustrated. That will be another kiss. P.P.P.S. No dictionaries were harmed in the writing of this letter. P.P.P.P.S. Well, I might have lit one on fire after.

 I feel disgusted after reading the letter. He was an asshole and a creep.  A knock at the door startles me into yelping. I catch my breath to answer it and Demeter pushes her way in.  “Sit. We’re talking.”  I do as she says; I’m still reeling from everything I just found out and Demeter is the last person anyone should ever piss off. She may be a kindly teacher and a great friend but not even the gods can save someone incurring her wrath.  “You got the house, didn’t you.” It clearly wasn’t a question but I nod quietly anyways. She sighs. “Well, if anyone from this town could thrive there it would be one of us, but still. What were you thinking?”  I stare into the nether. “I don’t know anymore. I don’t even want the house now,” I murmur. “It’s tainted. He even ruined the fairy house for me.”  “What do you mean? You knew he had lived there when you made the ridiculous plan to swoop in on it.”  I silently proffer the letter and poem without looking at her.  She lets out an incredulous whistle. “Well... He tried to put his heart in the right place. I think. Ooh, girl, this boy was a mess.” She pauses, squinting at the letter. “Wait. Did he leave you the house? Holy hell.”  Demeter stayed the night.  I woke up the next morning to a note on my bedroom door: I’ve reconsidered the roommate thing. Be back soon, packing my stuff.  If they didn’t already, the townsfolk were about to think Demeter insane, too.

 Days later and we were moved into the house, though I was still uneasy. He left a lot behind- including some nearly new furniture. Probably for the best given how spartan Demeter and I both lived. I brought a desk and computer while she brought house plants and a bed.   The house was old and quirky and had an air to it that we both adored. The rear garden was pressed right up against the old forest; with the fence having rotten away long since the tenants before Dylan had lived there, a new one was half built in its place- and wildflowers had overtaken most of the space. All except for one tree that sat in the center of our new yard, between the forest and the house. The entire rear half of the house had large beautiful windows that faced the forest, as well as a massive section of glass doors that opened up to the rear garden, almost like an entertainment area, thanks to the simple stone porch.  “Oh, I am so fixing this up.” Demeter sounded giddy, standing in the decrepit garden. “We’ve totally got this.”  “I hope so.” I can’t shake the uneasy feeling I’ve had all weekend. “I’m heading in to set up some of my supplies.”  I leave Demeter to her own devices and get to work in the back room with the enormous glass doors. After a few minutes, it feels as though the very air is weighing on me. I open the doors wide, not paying any mind to the dangers of the forest. Let them come, they’d probably make better company than 99% of the good townsfolk of Greenvale. The invigorating scent of the forest fills the room and I’m suddenly in the mood for oil pastels.

 It’s been a week now and I still feel trapped whenever I’m in the house. I feel as though I’m being watched any time I’m on the property. The eyes from the forest seem more curious than anything- it’s inside that I feel I’m in danger. After going on an unnecessary shopping trip for the umpteenth time since moving in, I decide to be productive and prepare a basket of food for those that dwell in the forest. Fruits, nuts, pepitas, and even some actual food I cooked up. I set the basket out back, near the treeline, and go back to the room I claimed for my studio. When next I look outside, the basket is empty and moved closer to the house.  I hope they enjoyed it.

 I get home earlier than Demeter and begin to make a habit of leaving food out for my new neighbors- including a dish of milk on my window sill. Each day, the basket is returned closer and closer to the house. I begin finding gifts of seeds, flowers, and odd trinkets in the returned basket. Demeter joyously nurtures the seeds into all manner of strange and exotic plants.  One day, when the house is feeling particularly stifling, I decide to go to the forest edge to get away from it. I find a cozy spot beneath a tree and start writing. I hear the basket being moved but I’m too in the flow to pay any attention- that is until I notice a curious fox looming over my notebook. I don’t want to spook it so I continue writing. Eventually, the fox lays its head on my wrist, watching the pencil soar across the pages. I suppress the urge to make a high pitched noise in joy at this blessing.  My trips to the forest edge became more frequent- as did the fox’s joining me. I started bringing treats for my new friend who cozied up to me as I worked. One day, when Demeter was out later for student conferences, I went out to the back porch- still outside but sheltered from the storm that had rolled in. I mistakenly drifted off to sleep to the sound of rain- and far more easily than I could have fallen asleep inside the house.  I awakened to find myself wrapped in a fine silk cloak lined with the softest fur I have ever felt in my life- and I pet a lot of cats. I also note that I am now inside and the doors are shut. It’s already morning, as well.  Demeter is in the kitchen, making herself a quick breakfast before she heads off to work.  “I’m glad to see you made it home safely. Did you bring me inside?”  “What? No, you were asleep on the floor when I got home last night. I feel like it’s the first time you’ve slept since we got here.”  I grunt noncommittally and leave the room.  Later on, I return the cloak, folded in the basket with yet another assortment of tasty goodies. This time I'm reading rather than working on one of my projects. The fox returns once more and- to my joy- curls up in my lap. I stroke his soft fur while I read and eventually I can hear the soft contented snoring of my vulpine buddy. I'm so comfortable that for the second day in a row I make the mistake of falling asleep outside.  This time, as the beams of morning sunlight drift through my eyelids, I’m in my room. The luxurious cloak is covering me once more and the fox is curled up next to my head. The Prompt Next

[faustocas-blog]

Garden + Tennis Marathon

The following two weeks are going to be very challenging, I have very limited time to work in my garden and I have to leave it set up for spring break, which is around the corner. The most important step is to buy a water timer, Im planning to go tomorrow to this warehouse to see if they have any. Installing the water timer isn't simple, I have to talk to maintenance to see when we install the device. From my research I found that the device is expensive, meaning I have to talk to Miss Amy to see what my budget after the tennis Marathon fundraiser this past weekend. 

Currently I have encounter a very big challenge that have even set me up in a bad mood the past days, one morning I found most of my tomatoes falling halfway almost breaking completely. I was able to rescue some but not all, which made me realized how in a matter of hours I could loose all my project, dragging my effort and time with it. One of the reasons tomatoes are falling is because we don’t have much space for them to grow and currently have too many of them, I know it sounds ridiculous, I never though that was going to be a problem. With some help from mr. Sean my biology teacher, we have concluded that we need to start transplanting and killing some of our plants to guaranty effective growth on the others. I have been cutting and transplanting some but It hurts to kill my babies, I have literally planted them from seeds and killing them is very difficult because they have been connected to me emotionally since day one. Pruning  and killing has to happen these days and hopefully it will help the strong tomatoes. Currently we have very strong ones and one of the plants its starting to produce our first tomato fruit.  Other than this I haven’t had much time to work, hopefully I cut some of the tomatoes, install the water timer and build a new bed by the end of the trimester, thats my goal. 

As I mentioned before the annual Tennis Marathon is a big fundraiser for CAS and scholarships that our class got to organized this year. First of all I want to mention that it was a complete success, everything turned out great and the vibes and music was very positive throughout the whole event. Overall the positive aspects in the event was the constant positivity, the food and drinks and awesome tennis games. Next time overall I would guaranty the 24 hours of tennis and chaperons.  My particular job was actually obtaining those chaperons and I went a little above and beyond and actually help with some marketing and organization during the event. Personally we did have chaperons every hour including our class but at the last minute most of the adults cancelled witch left us with no choice but to take responsibility ourselves. In terms of my mini marketing work, With the help of some of the actual marketing team I managed to send some personal emails to the parent of La Paz trying to obtain more donations and pledges. I still don’t know the result of the emails but hopefully we got some online donations thanks to the emails.  Personally I think I did well in not stepping up to take control of the whole event, its hard for me to not give my opinion in events like this and try to become the leader, this time I hold my self and gave the opportunity to others. The positive aspect about this was as a class to obtain a different leadership style, and gave me more time to work on my CAS project and if need it help in other jobs within the event. I could have really make sure that chaperons were coming, but honestly they cancelled last minutes and its hard to predict if they are coming or not. 

As a end result I consider the Tennis Marathon a complete success and hopefully I can use to money from the event to make my project a success.

[aesthetic-dani]

It it 12:28 am and it is a school night. 

I should be sleeping instead of writing this post, but I promise to myself it will be short.

I love my new art teacher Ms. A and I am so sad she won't be here next year, she is like my mom in many ways. Blue hands compared me to her a couple times and oh god, I am so flattered. She really motivates me to put all that energy and thought behind my work, in a way empowers me to be more me. and confident. 

Quick thought:

-There are constellations on my face

-"We Are an Island" (Brandon Boyd)

- I love the design of urban cities like Tokyo , New York,  Bogota, and Downtown Miami. Yet I want to create spaces that relieve the tension of living in such places.

-I am growing to be comfortable in my body, even if it is not how I desire it to look

-I will be fine, wherever I go. Everything will be okay.

-I love my family so much, and my friends too. As the rabbi has said, "Uno puede Tamar a todo el undo, per no tine que asociarse con todo el mundo".

-quiero estudiar toda mi vida! Me encanta aprender... aunque claro que el aprendizaje nunca para, estés en la escuela o no.

-quiero enamorarme de mi cultura, saber mas de mi paz, por que siempre serán una parte muy grande de quien soy.

-I need to read up on some art history and research.

Wow this has not been so quick..... Oops!

I hope my boy is out there somewhere and that he is okay. I hope he feels good about himself and everything he does is done with love. I do not know him yet, but he is somewhere. He is real. I like to think that he is fun and intelligent. A musician, an artist, a poet, or someone immersed in culture and art and humanity. Oh please do be real. I love you already, and I do not even know you. And the not knowing helps me wonder. Just the silly little things that are so good in theory and I hope just as good in practice. Oh boy, take care... be happy.

Last thing or two...

I love love love love my family. So much. I do not say it so often but I do. I love you all so much. My parents, brothers and sister. My inlaws and niece. I love you, I really do. I am sorry for how I have been. 

Surprisingly now I see the surgery on me. I can bear with how I currently look but I can visualize the change the surgery would do on my face.... And I would look soooooooo pretty. I love it!! I know it is a while until that happens, but I am excited for it. Only thought is, will I feel guilty when people say I am pretty since it is not in a way my natural face?

I men it will be, but.... you know what I mean. I hope it all turns out good. I really do. The surgery doesn't represent me getting rid of all my insecurities, but it will help. My face and head will still be asymmetrical and a bit odd but that is okay.

NOW VERY LAST THING I PROMISE!!!

I cleaned my room because my mom is arriving in 6 hours (morning) instead of at night as I somehow expected. and it look so nice!!! I cleaned it, my desk is clear and I just have to throw away like a couple water bottles. Then voila! I hope I can become more productive, like do more things like this... because they matter and make life better.

I am going to start taking daily walks. I think they are very important, and freeing. Good for the body and soul. 

I am getting my drivers license soon (I think) and well that should open some doors, give me more independence and responsibility, but I think I can take it tbh.

Ohh and about my tattoos. I want to get my first one with my mom being around. But if she doesn't really agree with it in the end, I'll just get it on my birthday the which is fair from now, but I think could work. I'm excited to get it done.. I really am. 

About college, I am just going to make a hell ton of artwork and see what happens I will be okay.

Now I am off to bed because I want to eat waffles for breakfast in the morning, and my lazy butt won'’ do them if I am this tired. 

I love you world, please spread love and positive vibes. 

We can do it

" While there's life, there's hope"- Cicero 

12:58 am. 

09-28-2017

[mayankoren-blog]

Ruta La Paz 17′ Run For Education.

On May 6th I participated in the annual Ruta La Paz race our school hosts. I have run the 5km in this event seven years in a row and have never been disappointed. The event changes a little every time, this year it was located at the Sailing center and the whole race was run on the beach! Both of which have never been done before. Because of the early rainfall it was not the brightest day, the sky looked dull and I was not motivated to go to the race in the first place. Aside from that the last time I had trained was a few moths back. I did not feel prepared. A few hours later we drove to Flamingo beach. We spent the car ride guessing what color the shirts would be, since it is usually kept a surprise. Walking into the Sailing Center I could tell there were good vibes, and overall good energy, teachers, students and community members all came to run for a good cause. A few friends and I were in charge of handing out medals to the 100m and 200m race the little kids run, it reminded me of when I was their age and how excited I would get very year when this day approached. Everyone gathered around to listen to the route of the race and shortly after we began running. At 4:30 we were off! What I like about this race is that the main focus is not a competition, I found myself running with people I usually don't talk to or don't even know. At the end I was happy with my results, I still don't know in how long it took me to run 5km but I feel like it will be my best year yet! I am so glad I went to the race, it is a fun get together with the community while participating in a fun physical activity.

[maybege]

I'm obsessed with this now, teacher paz watching/reading readers favorite books and movies because he wants to understand why she likes them

Oh yes I love it! Maybe she has her class always watch a certain movie or read a certain book each year because it turns out it’s one of her favourites. 🥹 and then Paz reads/watches it too so he can have something to talk about with her and see what her interests are 😭♥️

[filemp3]

📢 VA - Beatport Future Classics Indie Dance 2020 🏷️VA - Beatport Future Classics Indie Dance 2020 zippy free download, Genre: EP / Packs / Albums, Label: Beatport, Released: 2020-07-08, BPM: 100, 320 kbps #va #beatport #future #classics #indie #dance #2020 #ep #packs #albums #beatport TRACKLIST: Acid Hamam - Djinn of Death (Original Mix) AIMES - We Are Eternal (Que Sakamoto & NT Remix) Alejandro Manso - Awakening (Original Mix) Alejandro Paz, Local Suicide - Peacock (Original Mix) Alex Medina, ELNA - Golden Teacher (Original Mix) Applescal - Synthlove (_The Sky) Biesmans - Dr. Electric (Phunkadelica Re-Interpretation) Eliezer - Corona Maradona (Original) Hanzo & Yaman - Francisco (Original Mix) Hefemony - Breguet (Original Mix) Jac The Disco - Goddess (Juan Maclean Remix) K.E.E.N.E. - Missing Point (Kiwi Remix) Kasper Bjrke - Venetian Blinds (Panthera Krause Remix) Mala Ika - Weirdos (Original Mix) Margot - Goblin (Prins Thomas Diskomiks) Middle Sky Boom, Eliezer - Bias Boys (Middle Sky Boom Remix) Niv Ast, Cornelius Doctor - Poisson dargent (Original Mix) Talking Machines, Nick Purple, Psycho Weazel - Just For You (Psycho Weazel From Hell To Space Remix) Tony y Not - Last Night (Original Mix) Yes Father - Everything You Say (Justin Robertsons Deadstock 33s Remix) #filemp3 #audio #vibes #hifi #stereo #music #djs #clubbers #party #disco #exclusive #djmusic #housemusic #electro #freemusic 🌍 filemp3.net

[maybege]

Hi, May 😊

Thinking about Paz watching you punch a guy, that makes an innapropriate comment towards you. Like, you just walk for grocery shopping or something, and there is one annoying dumbass, throwing such comment to you, and you turn back and slap him/kick him into his ballsack/punch him, after he keeps going on with his bullshit.

Paz hears something's happening and your angry voice, since he is nearby, and rushes to you as a big protector he is. And he only comes to see you putting that dumbass in his place. Paz is like 👀👁️👄👁️

Okay, I don't know if any of your remember but this fits so well into the self defense teacher!paz AU, I could cry 🥺 He sees this guy hanging around from afar and before he can do anything, the stranger has approached you and is trying to talk to you/touch you in a way you do not want.

And then you punch him. Like a proper punch just how Paz showed you in the course and after he is so fucking proud but also makes sure that the guy is gone for good before he checks you over and throws his arm around your shoulders.

[maybege]

I saw your idea for the Teacher AU with Paz (which I absolutely love by the way) and it made me think of this

I am SO in love with this. 🥺 he looks so soft and so nice and has such puppy eyes and I bet reader sometimes just sits on the bleachers and pretends tu grade papers but actually just observes him and when he spots her, he smiles so widely because he’s so happy to see her and maybe he even decides to demonstrate a few exercises a bit more thoroughly to impress her 🥺🥺

[maybege]

May I have some thoughts for you on this rainy (at least in Maine) day. I recently came across the song beauty and essex by free nationals, unknown mortal orchestra, and Daniel Caesar and all I can think about is having 💕 relations💕 with Paz in a club bathroom while it is playing and I’m 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

I have thoughts 🥵 I’m not gonna say it’s self defense teacher!Paz and reader at a Halloween party but I’m saying it’s self defense teacher!Paz and Reader at a Halloween party. And he’s treating both of them to something ✨spicy✨

[maybege]

Unexpectedly Expecting

Summary: You have big news and Paz doesn’t know what to do. (Part 6 of LPOH)

Pairing: biker!Paz Vizsla x fem!teacher!Reader

Wordcount: 4.2k | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: Modern AU, Biker AU, pregnancy stuff, slight angst, mentions of bad parenting and addiction

I kind of forgot that I had a whole chapter for biker!Paz still complete in the drafts so I thought I would celebrate the start of fall (and my soon tk be birthday) with a new chapter. We now get into the main plot stuff and I just want to put in a disclaimer that I have never been pregnant and therefore the depiction of pregnancy will be very inaccurate and just give the kind of romcom vibes that we need lol. As always please let me know what you thought in a comment or reblog ❤

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

“For the last time, you cannot come with us!”

“Meow!”

“Kitten,” he warned, seeing the little cat climb her way back into his duffel bag.

At first, he had thought that it was the colourfully patterned socks (a gag gift from Grogu and Din for one Winterfest) that had caught her attention. But as he had removed the offending piece of clothing to his bed and Kitten had stayed curled up in his packed bag, he knew that she simply did not want him to leave.

Which had led to the discussion they were currently having.

“That hut is not a safe place for kittens,” he heard himself say, scooping her up and placing her on the floor, “You will stay with Grogu and Fennec.”

Kitten climbed back onto the bed, eyeing the bag as if she was calculating the best place to jump into it.

He sat down with a sigh, knowing that it would be futile to fight with her. “C’mere.”

She purred, climbing onto his knees and curling up. His fingers disappeared into her fur, petting her as he thought about the weekend ahead. Years ago, he never would have thought that he would have a girlfriend(?) to bring with him to a weekend trip with his friends.

And now here he was, packing his pack so he could pick you up first thing tomorrow and drive with you to the coast. He smiled.

The ringing of his phone forced him into action and he practically fell over his feet as he reached for the blinking device.

“Hey, everything alright?”

“I am so sorry, Paz,” you mumbled, sounding struck down, “I think I must’ve caught a bug or something from the kids but I,” another pause, “I don’t think I can come with you today.”

“Do you want me to stay?” 

The words were out of his mouth so quickly, it was almost like an instinct. You chuckled weakly and he felt something tugging in his chest at the way you sounded so pained. You did not sound well. At all.

“Thank you for asking,” you replied, “But I don’t think I would be very good company today. I have the doctor’s appointment this afternoon and then I think I will just need to rest for the weekend.”

Something in him wanted to ask if you were sure. That he could stay with you, no problem. He had Boba on speed dial, after all, it would take less than a minute to pull out of the trip and then make his way to your house.

But he also knew that whatever it was between the two of you, it had not been going on for very long. Barely two months. Could that be considered long? It felt like an eternity for him, certainly after the long years he had been without a partner. But objectively … could two, three months even be considered a relationship?

“Are – are you angry?”

He shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts.

“No!” he protested quickly, Kitten jumping from his lap in fright, “Sorry, I was just lost in thought. It’s okay for you to stay home, love, just – just text me if you need anything?”

He could hear your tired smile, his heart strings thrumming. “You can’t send me food from up the coast, Paz.”

“No but I’d drive home,” he replied, “I could get you some soup, some tea and, uh, those salty cracker things you like so much.”

You chuckled, sounding tired and sad and his heart clenched. “You’re the best, Paz, enjoy your tip, okay? And give Kitten lots of scritches from me.”

*

You: Hey, can you come over when you’re back? We need to talk.

He had been staring at the notification for three hours now, not even daring to open the text so you couldn’t see that he had read it. We need to talk. That was never a good sign, was it?

What did you want to talk about? Had you changed your mind?

Three days by the coast, surrounded by his friends and family, all seemed like a waste of time now that he knew something bad was about to happen. Stars, he felt stupid now. How happy he had been to see you again, to tell you al about his weekend, to tell you how he had spoken abut you to the others. How happy Ahsoka had been to hear that the new teacher was doing well.

“Why the face?” Din sat down next to him at Ahsoka’s breakfast table, “You look like Kitten just ran away.”

Paz tilted the screen so his friend could see the notification, “She wants to talk.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Paz sighed, “Oh.”

*

He knocked on your door, taking a deep breath. Whatever would end up happening, he would get over it. He could live with it. The most important thing was that he could remain your friend. That you would be happy and he somehow still had a chance to see that.

The door swung open and he swallowed when he saw how sick you looked. You were wearing your pyjamas, still, the fuzzy ones with cookies printed all over them. And it looked like you had cried and his heart ached.

“Hey,” he smiled quietly, holding up the bag, “I, uh, I brought you some soup.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, your hand still on the doorknob, “Would you like to come in for a coffee or something?”

He swallowed again, his dry throat protesting at the movement, “Sure.”

You both were silent as you made your way to the kitchen and he followed you like a lost puppy with the soup in his hands. He noticed the dirty dishes in the sink, the blinds half closed even though it was bright daylight out.

“That bug really got to you, huh?”

He tried to hide the way how nervous he was and set the takeout bag on the free space on your kitchen table. The coffee machine whirred to live and he watched as you grabbed a mug from the cupboard and setting it under the machine.

Your silence did not go unnoticed by him and something in him already regretted accepting the cup of coffee. The slow drip of it made him even more nervous, skittish somehow, as he tried to prepare for the inevitable. For your rejection. For playing like this had meant just as little to him as it had to you. For playing like his heart did not shatter into a million pieces.

“So how –“

The cup cluttered and he watched as coffee spilled all over the counter. He wanted to reach out to you, kiss your fingertips and ask you what was wrong. Why your hands were shaking just like his heart. Why you looked so afraid.

“I’m pregnant Paz.”

“What?”

“I’m pregnant,” you repeated, taking a deep breath, “I know that this is – this is a shock and please just, just listen to me, okay?”

Feeling completely dumbfounded, he nodded.

“I am pregnant and I know it is yours. I take the pill and I don’t know how – how this could’ve happened but I’m definitely pregnant. In the third month too,” you added, “And I have decided that I would like to keep the baby. I know this is not ideal and this is not something you signed up for. And … I guess I just wanted to let you know. I understand if you’re not ready for that kind of commitment yet or if you didn’t see this relationship go anywhere. I promise I won’t bother you with it too much. But you have a right to know and –“

“Are you well?” he blurted out, interrupting your rushed monologue. He felt bad because he wanted you to know that he listened to you but in all this hurry, the panic in your voice had just sounded more and more prominent and what

You tilted your head, questions in your eyes, and he cleared his throat, trying to get his words out better than before.

“Do – are you sick, I mean?” he clarified, rubbing the back of his neck, “Do – do you want to sit down or have a water or –“

“I’m fine, Paz,” you smiled, “Thank you for asking. I’m – I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“Yeah,” he huffed out, his heart beating a mile a minute, “Me too.”

Silence.

His brain was still trying to catch up on the information you had just provided.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant. With his child.

A baby would change everything and it was like he could watch his entire world turn upside down in front of him.

“I know this is a lot of information, Paz,” you said soothingly, your hand landing on his forearm and he hated how you looked at him as if he would push you away, “I just – Please take the time to think about this, okay?”

“Yeah, I,” he took a deep breath, “I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry, this is – it’s a lot. I thought –“

“Thought what?”

“I thought you called me here to, uh, to break up.”

“That’s the last thing on my mind,” you smiled sadly, “But it might not be on yours.”

*

“What’s gotten into you, big guy?”

Ten hours later, Paz still felt like the world was reeling around him. He did not even know how he had gotten to the bar or what he had done in between listening to your words and sitting in front of a pint of beer, looking at the foam as if that would give him the answers he needed.

“She’s pregnant,” he said lamely, still staring at his hands. Everything felt like it was moving so fast and he was stuck in place, his heart tugging between pure elation and straight panic in a roller coaster of emotions that made him want to throw up, “She – she is pregnant.”

“Is it yours?”

“Of course, it is,” he hissed, turning to glare at his older friend and boss.

But Boba did not seem to be fazed. The older man simply met his stare, calmly taking a swig of his beer. “You barely dated, what, three months?” he guessed, “I wanted to make sure.”

“She’s not like that,” Paz muttered under his breath, his heart feeling strangely warm when thinking of you. Anger at Boba was at the forefront because how could he – Boba knew you for fuck’s sake! He knew how important you were to him. “She – We – There is no one else. Won’t be any one else, either.”

“Man, you are head over heels already, huh?”

He did not say anything. The truth was, yes, he was. Hopelessly so. Ever since he had first seen you at school it seemed like life had gotten so much lighter. Maybe it was too early to call it love but his heart was counting the days until he could tell you what he felt for you.

“And now a baby?” Boba probed further, “What did she say?”

“She said she wanted me to know about it,” he recalled slowly, barely able to piece everything together from memory, “That, uh, she wants to keep it, either way. And she did not want to break up with me.”

“Glad we got that covered,” Din said dryly and Paz threw him a glare. But the dark haired man simply shrugged and raised his beer to his lips, half looking at the football game that was shown on the TV in the corner.

“What? Every time I see you two together it is hard to say who has more heart eyes for the other – you or her,” he mumbled absentmindedly, “The last thing I thought she would do was break up and I was proven right.”

“Taking all emotions out of this, she is doing the right thing, I think,” Boba said, “She made her decision and now she is offering you the choice if and how you want to be involved in your child’s life.”

Your child.

“Why are you all so much fucking calmer than I am about this?” Paz asked, taking a big swig of his beer, trying to let the bitter taste wash away the anxiety that bubbled up. As if that had ever worked.

“I – Shit, Boba look at me,” he growled, resting his forehead on his hand, “I never thought I would be a dad. Not with my family, not with this town and now – “

“Now you have a chance to experience it,” the older man nodded in understanding, leaning back against the low backrest of the barstool. He had crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking as serious as ever and just like always, Paz had trouble recognizing how his friend actually felt. “Do you think you are ready for a kid?”

Paz scoffed, “We all know Djarin is the only one I ever would entrust a kid with.”

Din made a sound at the back of his throat, rubbing his beard. “Paz, it was you who took care of Grogu those first few weeks. Yes, he is my son and but don’t tell me you wouldn’t have been ready to adopt him if I had not.”

“And what about her?”

Remembering Boba’s previous implied question about your fidelity, Paz perked up, ready to come to your defence in case his friend decided to be stupid again. “What about her?”

Boba shrugged, “What do you feel for her? Yes, a baby is a big responsibility but there is also the question of who you are raising that child with.”

He relaxed at the question, nodding in thought. “She will be a great mom,” he murmured, thinking of the way you had laughed with Grogu in the car, how gentle and understanding you were with your students. Honestly, if you hadn’t been pregnant now, he doubted it would have taken him long to have the first thought of you holding his child.

But that was the problem. You weren’t going to be the only parent. That was his child as well.

“You both know my family,” he sighed, avoiding the mustering stares of Boba and Din, “You know about my father. That man was an asshole and a drunk addicted to poker. How can I,” he took a deep breath, finally voicing his fears as his voice broke, “How can I ever be better than that?”

Memories came rushing back. Of the fun summers in his uncle’s garage. Of the horrible winters at home, how sad his mother had been, trying her best to make up for a mostly-absent father. Of the moments his father hadn’t been absent but instead chosen to destroy any confidence his son had.

A heavy hand landed on his back and Paz flinched, blinking before finding Boba’s dark eyes. “I know what you are thinking,” the man said, “But you are not your father, Paz Vizsla, and you never have been. You are already so much better than him by trying to be honest with yourself. The question is do you want what your father did to you keep you from having the life you want?”

Curse Boba and his occasional words of wisdom.

“What are you thinking?” Din asked him, watching, curiously as Paz stood up, fiddling to his jacket over his arms.

“I’m taking a personal day tomorrow.”

Boba grinned, probably already knowing what was going in his head. “Don’t you have that Whistledown car inspection schooled?”

“Then I’ll come in later, I don’t care,” he muttered, slapping a few bills on the counter, “I need to talk to her.”

*

It was way too late and when the cab passed your street, he saw that all the lights were out. That when it hit home that maybe it was way too late to talk to you. (3am the dashboard clock let him know.) Besides, he had had too much to drink and could not think straight. He could wait.

And wait he did. Paz had never slept as badly as in that night, getting up at 6am to take a shower and prep breakfast, his hands trembling excitement and nervousness. For a moment, he lamented that Kitten had decided to stay at the garage (Boba had bribed her with treats, of that he was sure) but on second thought he would probably have driven her crazy with his pacing and tossing and turning.

No, he could wait.

He was out the door at 6:10am, making his way to the bar from last night to pick up his bike. This was too early still, he tried to tell himself, he did not want to seem like a maniac when he standing in front of your door. He wanted to look responsible and thoughtful and mature and –

Passing the gas station, he decided to turn around, his bike roaring under him.

Maybe a coffee would help settle his nerves.

*

You felt like shit and by now you were sure that both your heart and your stomach had decided to riot at the same time as you sobbed into the toilet, your gagging turning into dry heaving when your stomach had no more contents to throw up.

Cold sweat had built up on your forehead and you tried to remember Doctor Kaida’s words that ginger tea could sometimes help. You just needed to be able to make it to the kitchen.

You sniffled, flushing the toilet before quickly splashing some cold water on your face and trying to rinse your mouth of the acid taste that seemed to have burned itself into your throat. At least you had not gotten dressed yet, it would have been so much worse if you would have to think of another outfit to wear.

A look in the mirror reminded you that your feeling of misery did its best to be translated on the outside and you felt tears prick in your eyes again. You did not know what you had expected Paz to do and you tried to reason with yourself that he needed the time. Stars, it hadn’t even been 24 hours since you had told him about the pregnancy. You had had a whole weekend to think about it, it was only fair that you would award him that same courtesy.

But that was said so much easier than done when all you wanted was to just spend time with him. You wanted to be with him, every second of every day, and spend weekends on the couch with Kitten on your lap and, later on, with your baby.

A real baby.

You slipped your dress over your head, making sure it fell right before pulling on your tights. There was no hint of a baby belly yet but according to the internet there would be – soon. Which meant that not only would you have to tell your students about it but also their parents. And most importantly your boss.

Another wave of anxiety washed over you and you felt your stomach rumble. Principal Gideon would not be pleased, that was for sure, especially since you had just started working at the school. You just weren’t sure if it was going to be the pregnancy itself or rather the father of your baby who would be the thorn in his eyes.

You pressed your lips together, refusing to be late for school, when you made your way out of the house, bringing your little bag with you. Already, you had started a countdown in your head of how many hours were left of the work day. It being Monday, maybe you could get away with giving the kids some own occupational time where they could work on their art projects? That would at least give you a bit of respite and time to plan the next few days ahead.

You opened the door, immediately forgetting if you had packed your lunch or not and if you had forgotten it, did you have enough change to get a quick bite at the sandwich shop? And why was there a bike in your driveway?

You blinked in confusion, your hand tightening round the key in your hand until you recognized the dark blue paint on the bike, slightly chipped in places but generally well taken care of. Paz. It was Paz who was standing beside said bike, looking a little worse for wear but most importantly nervous. He was nervous.

The large man spotted you, straightening his posture and you smiled when you saw that he seemed to have put a bit more effort into his appearance. His hair was curly and fluffy, like when he had just stepped out of the shower, and you spotted a little patch on his denim jacket where there previously had been an oil stain. And you had never seen that flannel on him before …

“I, uh, I did not know what kind of flowers you liked,” he brought out, holding a little bouquet out in front of him. The clear plastic crinkled and you recognized the sticker from the little flower shop down by the gas station and you smiled.

“Thank you,” you said, your heart beating so fast you almost forgot how horrible the morning had gone. You walked closer, trying to hide the trembling in your hands as you reached out to take it from him. His fingers brushed yours and you both paused and you watched his fingers flex, carefully skimming over the inside of your wrist.

Stars, how you had missed his touch.

Paz shuffled and you noted he still had one hand behind him. You tilted your head, seeing something brown and furry behind his back.

“Is that a stuffie?” you asked, your heart skipping a beat.

He looked at you as if he didn’t understand the question before gathering himself, bringing his other hand in front of him. It was a small dark brown teddy bear with a little red bow tie and it looked like the softest thing you had ever seen. “Uh, yeah,” he said, taking in a deep breath, “Babies like soft things and I had this one teddy bear that my uncle gave me that I loved and I thought the baby might need one, too, and – and, uh,” he looked at you, “I want in. Like, all in.”

“All in?” you whispered, tears pricking your eyes and you could not help your hand landing on your belly, “Like, for real?”

Paz looked at you with wide eyes, nodding eagerly. “For real, sweetheart. All in.”

You sniffled, your mouth pulled wide in a grin as the first tear ran down your cheek. “I’m going to find some water for these,” you held up the flowers, “You want to come inside? I’ve got a few minutes to spare.”

The dark haired man nodded, following you and you could not hide the emotion on your face. Paz wanted this. He wanted this with you.

As soon as the door closed behind him and you were both shielded from the curious eyes of your neighbours, Paz was in front of you, his heavy hands on your shoulders.

“I am sorry that I wasn’t better at taking in the information,” he apologized, eyes searching yours, a furrow between his brows when he spotted the tears, “You’re, stars, you’re pregnant, sweetheart, and I should’ve been happy and not disappeared on you and I promise –“

“Paz, hey,” you interrupted him gently, your hand coming up to his chest, “You are allowed to panic. Stars know I panicked, too. But I’m,” you lowered your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks, “I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice soft. His hands came up to frame your face, making you look at him and he was so … he looked so happy, it made your heart clench.

“Yeah,” you grinned, breathing out a laugh and he did too.

“Can I kiss you, love?” he asked quietly, his nose brushing against yours and even with the softness of the teddy bear against your back and the flowers in your hand, you did not even hesitate a second.

“Yes please,”

And he did.

It was soft and slow and absolutely perfect. His hands were pulling you closer, the stubble on his chin slightly scratching the sensitive skin of your jaw as his lips moved against yours, coaxing your mouth open so he could slide his tongue over yours.

Your breath hitched, whining when he pulled away from you.

“Can I drive you to work?” he asked, breathless, “I – I could pick you up and we could eat dinner or something.”

You nodded, biting your lips and you were so close he could feel your body heat through your cardigan and he wanted to raise your baby together. He wanted you. He wanted all of this. This was the best Monday ever.

“I’d like that,” you nodded quickly, “We – we could talk some more about all of this?”

“That sounds wonderful,” he kissed your neck, “We could order in from the diner?”

You groaned, “Paz Vizsla, you are the best man on earth.”