#tbqh everything's going 2 fucking hell

[envymourn]

Things are rlly bad atm, but I have a cute hat so it's ok...? 😬🩷

[somecunttookmyurl]

sorry if there was another part of this post/those tags that i didn’t see but… i don’t think that doctor was trying to say that doctors know more about drugs than pharmacists do?

i’m an md also, i graduated from medical school a few years ago. and that person is right. we do learn about pharmacology and drug mechanisms and interactions in medical school. at my school (which was broken up into long blocks by body system), this was all integrated into everything else we were learning, meaning it was on every test. and it’s continued to be on every test i’ve taken since graduating. the point isn’t that we know more or even nearly as much as pharmacists about pharmacology, but that we know enough that someone who completely ignores the concept of drug interactions or the idea that different patients may metabolize certain drugs differently is a bad doctor. and i’m sorry that you’ve run across so many of them

the thing about medicine is that there is so much to know about human anatomy and physiology and disease that it’s basically impossible for any one person to know it all. medical school lays the groundwork, but there’s a reason we specialize, and spend 3-7 years in additional training in our particular field. it’s important to know what you don’t know (which is a lot, no matter what kind of doctor you are or how long you’ve been practicing). that means consulting with pharmacists when prescribing a new med or changing a dose whenever possible, just like you’d consult, say, a nephrologist when treating a patient with kidney disease. but when there isn’t a good pharmacist available, it means looking up that information yourself. i may not remember every single drug that interacts with warfarin, for example, off the top of my head, but i sure as hell know that it’s a long list and i better check everything else a patient is taking before prescribing it

anyway, good pharmacists are an incredible resource and i wish we had more of them at my hospital. and if you can’t admit that there are things you don’t know, medicine is not the field for you

yeah i've had like. no joke. 2 good doctors in 31 years. and one of them i don't even get to see again it was a one-off. but i am surgically attached to my GP until one of us dies and by god i hope i go first.

(incidentally those 2 doctors are the only ones i've ever met who even knew that differing drug metabolism on different pathways was even a thing like at all. my old psych straight up said "never heard of that, don't think that's true" even when i was presenting him with literal medical journals to the contrary like okay buddy good talk let's never do this again. i wish so much this was an uncommon experience bc i for one am tired of giving the TED talk)

readmore bc this got long

the fact you guys don't learn stuff to the same depth as pharmacists was really like my entire point. i mean, sure, you have some knowledge on it but normally pretty limited to within whatever field you practice. you've only got a limited number of brain cells. if you did have all that knowledge then pharmacy wouldn't exist as a separate degree in the first place.

so a doc coming onto that like "oh we do know side effects and get tested on interactions" is uh. i mean do you? a little, sure, but there's a limit to that knowledge by design. it's really the pharmacists who know, you know? they're the experts on it, and it kinda struck me as "i did a bit of training on this so i know everything" which is an attitude i encounter.... a lot with doctors, sadly. along with the assumption a patient can never know anything about their condition/have any input or ideas of any value/that there may be gaps in their own knowledge.

[also along with complete lack of intellectual curiosity which always baffled me like "welp, don't know what that is goodbye forever" do you not... want to know? not even a little bit? god why are you even here. if all you wanted to do was flowcharts and tick boxes there are plenty of careers in the data entry field. not quite sure why you went to medical school my man]

you sound like a good doctor. hold onto that. sadly you're more the exeption than the norm, as pretty much anybody with a chronic illness or unusal presentation/response can attest. also women, and POC.

if you've got it in you to keep at it without having a nervous breakdown (rather have you in the field than out of it babes) absolutely chew out any other doctor you catch acting like a Supreme Unquestionable Being Who Can Never Be Wrong though.

honestly? i think, genuinely, most do start out like you (you said you only graduated a few years ago right? so you're still new really) and... at some point along the way they become fucking insufferable.

i don't know if it's burnout bc it's a stressful job, or if having power over the health & wellbeing over other people eventually goes to your head, or you get stuck in "what i learned 20 years ago is still unquestionable" or "i've been doing this for years pfff i don't need to check things anymore" complacency or what but there is for sure SOMETHING that changes in a whole lotta doctors. hold on to how you practice now. be one of the few who STAY like that 10, 20, 30 years from now. please. stay curious, stay cautious, stay sharp.

i don't hate doctors (i say it jokingly, true, but don't take it personally) but i have absolutely met enough of them that don't listen, or check, or investigate that i heavily side-eye a new one until they demonstrate otherwise. you're listening to me and working with me and checking things? cool! i'm still gonna double-check anyway because even good doctors make mistakes,

but a good good doctor doesn't take offence at that anyway. i mean. it's my health you're in charge of here. remaining alive and not hospitalised is generally preferable.

hey, maybe it's a bit harsh to judge from a couple tags but coming onto a post saying that pharmacists are the real drug nerds here and doctors have limited knowledge about that (with a heavy dose of complacency a lot of the time, tbqh) so please make sure stuff is checked with "we do know about interactions we get tested on it" sent up a HUGE "i can't admit when there are gaps in my knowledge and can't handle being questioned" red flag.

[elfyourmother]

Ysayle for the meme!

How I feel about this character:

Love of my life light of my heart my queen my angel my everything!!!

...this got very long.

I mean I was pretty much doomed to stan Ysayle considering Shiva has always been bar none my favorite classic FF summon (alongside Phoenix), and the XIV design is my absolute favorite after X's Shiva. But Ysayle is one of my very favorite characters in the game and always will be, because of so many reasons I could go on and on and on about (and have), but mainly because of how unapologetic she was in her convictions even as she was incredibly vulnerable as a person. This is a woman who lost absolutely everything there was to lose as a young child and was dealt the most rotten hand imaginable, but when presented with proof of a profound injustice, threw herself into fighting it with everything she was. On the surface, in another other game (*cough*WoW*cough*), she could very easily have been a 2 dimensional one note sort of villain, but she has amazing amounts of depth to her, and her redemption arc is the gold standard to me as these things go, much less in XIV. They haven't gotten it right since her tbqh. Way too often in these kinds of stories, the heroes can't actually end up finding any lasting common ground with the antagonists and there's these arbitrary roadblocks put up largely to underscore ~the tragedy of it all~ and it just ends up being frustrating as hell, but Heavensward threw that right the fuck out and had us go on a roadtrip with Ishgard's Public Enemy #1 and she was reasonable. She wasn't some cackling stereotypical witch/femme fatale type leading us to our doom or we talked out of what she believed. Fuck, she was even right! It's just how she was going about things was awful, and she expressed genuine regret about it, even as she accepted the blood on her hands and the loss of her personal virtue as the price for peace. She was even willing to team up with the Azure Dragoon, someone she considered a genocidal butcher, if it meant peace. How could I not fall in love with her??? And she loves moogles. fhdsfksd

In short, Ysayle is literally everything I could have ever wanted in an Enemies to Friends story, except in how it ended obviously. Wonderfully complex character. Pretty.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Gisele is obviously #1, for all the reasons I've gushed about before and will continue to gush about, but first and foremost because they are absolutely perfect foils for each other in nearly every respect, and they compliment each other stunningly well. Only Emet has these two beat for Enemies to Friends to Lovers goodness and that's only because he's got the reincarnation romance angle to add to it. But Gisele x Ysayle have this air of capital-F Fate about them that is so fucking intriguing to me, there's the battle couple thing because they fight Primals together, but also in that of all Gisele's lovers, only Ysayle understands what it means to be chosen by Hydaelyn. I keep thinking of Tia Dalma's "touch of destiny" line every time I think of Gisele and Ysayle.

After Gisele, there's the lads ofc and Estinien foremost among them, with the heavy caveat that I'm very particular about that pairing to the point it honestly squicked me out for the longest time and I only started to ship it very recently. But in a not-grossly-heteronormative context, it's such a fantastic ship because much like with Gisele, Ysayle and Estinien are great foils for each other, have a ridiculous amount of things in common, and the adversarial distrust they had turning to grudging respect turning to low key affection turning to love is such a wonderful progression. And that's before the whole love triangle-to-metamour angle.

Aymeric and Haurche both have the metamour-to-lovers dynamic with her as well, but Aymeric is especially tasty given how very fraught it is--there's a forbidden fruit vibe with those two and I am a weak and simple femme. Her and Haurche are just...sunshine, really. They make me feel warm and cozy, and they will forever be bound by their love for Gisele making them nearly lose their lives to save her.

Y'shtola because Magic Baes but mostly because they're very alike, in that they tend to keep their cards close to their chest, are incredibly stubborn, and will go their own way and damn what anyone thinks. Them fucking off from the Crystarium and building a life together among the Night's Blessed is probably one of my fave ShB headcanons.

And Urianger, which I talked about when I did the chart.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Before I actually started shipping them, I would have put Estinien here, and everything I said up there also counts. But I would also add Emet, among the Scions she's not romantically involved with, bc that metamour relationship they have is incredible and I need to write more about it. And the twins obvs, most especially Alphinaud, who is very much a little brother to her.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

One of my few criticisms about Heavensward is that there's parts where it felt like they didn't know what to do with certain characters after a while and Ysayle's ultimate fate is probably the worst example. After having such a central role to the story for the heart of the xpac (the Great Dravanian Road Trip), she just kinda inexplicably fades out after quelling the riot, only to just come back for a Heroic Sacrifice. And she absolutely deserved better than to be treated like a loose end they forgot about and needed to tie up real quick.

She also deserves much more than to be treated as more than a footnote in Estinien's journey toward healing and being a Real Dragoon. I mentioned it above but I used to think Estinien x Ysayle squicked me so bad because I saw Ysayle as a lesbian, but then I realized I actually didn't, and I was just grossed out by how heteronormative the stuff I saw with them was. How often she was reduced to being a footnote in his character development, and that similarly to the way Haurche often gets treated in Haurche/WoL ships that follow canon, too often her whole role in teh content I saw was to be a love martyr and die so Estinien grows as a person and she's the Lost Lenore or w/e. Like fridging on steroids. And I find it repulsive (which is him naming his armor after her gave me hives). For a long time I mistook that for being squicked by Estinien x Ysayle period.

Then I realized what my pain point actually was with that ship (because I realized she had a ton of chemistry with Haurche in a thing I was doing), and that none of that gross shit actually applies in my verse, not just because she survives but more importantly she has a whole ass story of her own that he has absolutely nothing to do with Estinien. Ysayle's post Dragonsong arc involves her journey as a Scion, reckoning with what she did, and trying her best to atone. She continues to work for peace between Dravania and Ishgard as a Scion but she has a similarly parallel journey to Estinien's in that she has to figure out who she is now, if not Lady Iceheart the reincarnation of Saint Shiva. She's her own person with agency and a life and struggles and healing to do, not just some sad ethereal angel watching over him as he lives on. I still think that is a tragically unpopular opinion in some quarters.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

First and foremost that she had survived to join the Scions, like in Gisele's verse. But if we couldn't have that, that her memory actually be honored the way Haurchefant's continually is. I love Haurchefant to death of course and I'm not upset about that (insofar as much as I am angry and sad that canon took him away too) but there is a glaring discrepancy in how the legacies of these two characters are treated in the game, and it absolutely reeks of misogyny. We are constantly able to make call backs to Haurche and what he meant to us, we talked to random people in Gridania of all places about him, during the Firmament quests.

Meanwhile, there was the E8 debacle which I've ranted enough about previously (and at length) but it will suffice to say that given our emotional connection to her, it was a slap in the face to Ysayle that she apparently warranted all of 1 fucking offhanded line and wasn't even an afterthought, when she should have been the emotional touchstone of the whole damn tier.

But it happened again, in a more subtle example, in 5.5. The entire patch Estinien is walking around in armor that he named after Ysayle and yet when we return with him to the place of her death--Azys Lla--on a mission to free a member of the First Brood no less, there's not a fucking peep about Ysayle. The talk you have with him about Fandaniel, where he expresses concern about what your plans are for him? There's a dialogue option like "I want to understand him" or something, I forget verbatim, but the point is it would have been a prime opportunity for him to respond with something like "not all your foes are like Ysayle" given that she was a foe we tried to understand, and eventually did, and became allies with. Shit, Ysayle is alive and well in my 'verse and went with them to free Tiamat, and Estinien and Gisele still had that conversation in my headcanon (with the added benefit of Emet being a good point too). And if that wasn't enough, later on in that (frankly infuriating) scene w Fordola after Paglt'han, Estinien says something like "some dreams are worth fighting for" and like...Ysayle's thing was referring to her dream of peace between man and dragon, she literally mentions it right before she turns into Shiva for the last time to make her big sacrifice. And we get nothing. Another opportunity to reference her and the impact she had on WoL AND Estinien, totally wasted. When I talk about it feeling a lot like they treated her as a loose end that needed tying up, so they killed her and then forgot all about her? This is the type of shit that I mean. And it just keeps happening, and it's so infuriating.

They just did Ysayle absolutely dirty and they continue to do her dirty and it's why I'm so adamant about writing her the way I do and giving her all the happiness ever.

[scowlowl]

Hi c: I remember a post, I think it was from you, about long covid and getting it? Was that you? A friend of mine is struggling and I was wondering if you had any advice about what she can do :< Thank you!!

Oh no, I hope your friend feels better soon! That might have been me, I think I posted about it here a few times and there have definitely been twitter threads.

Standard disclaimer stuff: I am not a doctor. What I found helped me might not help someone else. Long covid is kind of fucked up to deal with because it seems to hit everyone in different ways, in different areas, and months later something that wasn't a problem before can suddenly become one. The long haul groups talk about it as something that feels like it moves around the body, like a total shit gremlin.

The thing that helped me the most initially was joining the facebook groups with other people figuring shit out. This was back April/May for me but they're still very active and full of people sharing resources.

Survivor Corps is I think the big one and they've been the ones reaching out to media and doctors to try to gain some recognition with the medical community initially (as far as I know, all kind of a blur tbh). There's also a long covid group here, and if your friend searches for like, long covid + the country they're in there are usually more local/regional ones for resources closer to home too.

Because we don't really know what specific mechanism is triggering a lot of the long covid stuff yet, most of us are just treating symptoms. Some people have been diagnosed with mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) and I don't know diddly squat about that but it might be something for your friend to look into. My whole thing has been inflammation and my immune system basically attacking itself because immune systems are both very complex and compellingly fucking stupid. Not to victim blame the immune system or anything.

What helped me depended on what was going wrong at the time, obv, but it means it's a long list.

This is just going to be a brain dump, sorry.

- I never had pneumonia. Mine started in my throat, probably damaged my vocal chords, but never turned into pneumonia. I still had shortness of breath, pressure in my chest, and my oxygen levels dropped. I could breathe but with great difficulty and described it to the EMTs as "breathing is like work." It took all of my energy and focus to breathe in enough. If you are that this point, ever, like, literally fucking ever, call an ambulance.

- Tylenol for a fever. 

- Blood thinners if necessary, I never had any but we know now that a lot of problems are blood clot-related. Tbqh my blood is more thin now than anything but I always had anemia and some sort of “your blood is too small actually?” problem and we don’t know why. I just bleed a lot and bruise easier now. 

- If they try to tell you it's anxiety or in your head or you're not that bed, tell them to go fuck themselves and go to the hospital. Get tested if you can. A lot of the problems long haulers ran into was that we got sick before tests were available, or we were talked into staying home by the emergency workers, and we never got tested. This opens the doors for doctors to tell you it's all in your head, psychological, anxiety, allergies, etc. Just. Go when you first feel sick if at all possible. Get tested before it turns into long covid. 

- I was not sure in the beginning what "shortness of breath" or "pressure" actually felt like, and it made me delay calling for an ambulance for a few days as well. For me, it felt like there was an elastic band of pressure around my lungs. I couldn't fully inhale. My diaphragm was fucked in ways I still don't understand. My lungs also felt heavy, like there was a weight on them or like my lungs themselves were too stiff to inhale. That all counts as pressure/tightness/shortness of breath. So does air hunger, or feeling like you want to be swallowing air.

- I know I'm being super obvious but seriously shortly before I got sicker, I hit up twitter to ask what "pressure" was supposed to feel like because I couldn't tell if what I had "counted."

- Breathing: lying on my stomach with my chest propped up by pillow, in bed helped. So did  pursed lip breathing: here.

- I was prescribed salbutamol initially, which did help with the worst of the wheezing and opened up some of my lungs so I could breathe easier. When I went to the ER again a couple months later, they gave me like 5x the usual dose and sent me home.

- I'm also taking Flovent/fluticasone twice a day for asthma maintenance.

- Histamines are a problem for a lot of people. Some develop a histamine intolerance, which can be helped by eating a low histamine diet.

- Antihistamines helped me the most. I was taking Allegra-D daily. Pepcid AC also helps, because it targets a different kind of histamine. There was such a run on Pepcid when this started that it was actually impossible to find in my area and I had to order some online. 

- I was recently prescribed Singulair and it has been life-changing this past week or so. As far as I know it's not really an antihistamine but blocks/inhibits a particular receptor involved in inflammation that comes into play when allergies do.

- Electrolytes. I don't know why, but my electrolytes are permanently fucked and too low now. If I don't go through like a litre of gatorade a day (or whatever, pick your brand of supplements), I am even more tired and brain foggy than usual. Helps a lot.

- Inflammation is a major problem all around. Sometimes I go for the naproxen or advil and it will help any really major acute flare-up now (like, I can feel when my gallbladder is getting inflamed and about to spasm and I can cut it off sort of), but mostly it's also daily maintenance. I take cucurmin and black pepper daily.

- Other supplements: vitamins A & D, a multivitamin, NAC.  

- CBD oil. This worked wonders for me for a lot of the side-effects of covid, costochondritis and shingles pain especially.

- Diet. I mentioned the low histamine one above. Other people have had some success with a low inflammation diet. Some folks also have so many GI problems that they basically ate chicken and rice and slowly reintroduced foods to see what would trigger something. I appear to get super fucked by nightshades now, e.g. Alcohol is an absolute no. I had to cut caffeine for months because of my heart. (No caffeine/alcohol/red meat was my doctor's first and best advice for heart stuff at the time.)

- Speaking of the heart stuff, if your friend is dealing with that: electrolytes again. I have pedialyte freezies that I would suck on whenever heart palpitations started and it helped calm it down some. My heart was so, so fucked for months that whenever I ate or stood up or sat down it would hit like 140bpm and I had to spend an hour moving as little as possible or I'd just about pass out. There are a LOT of long-haulers now dealing with POTS and I can't really speak to what helps that in particular but if your heart is messing up at all: call a doctor. I still don't know how damaged my heart is from all of this because doctors and wait lists, etc. Get a jump on that.

- Insomnia was absolutely the worst I’ve ever had and I’ve had lifelong, “I’m awake for three days wee” insomnia. The Singulair knocks me right out at night, so that's a bonus, but there has not been a single night since getting sick where I didn't have to take something to help me sleep. I was on Zopiclone before getting sick, at least, but seriously talk to someone about insomnia if necessary. The sleep deprivation alone was making so many things worse.

- Brain fog? Brain fog. I don't have any or many answers for this. My short-term memory is wrecked and usually I'll remember something 2 weeks later, so I live my life on a 2-week lag now.

- Related to brain fog, fatigue. Don't fuck with it. Do not. Chronic Fatigue and Myalgic encephalomyelitis are both brought up often with long covid. I am dealing with it but don't know what to say about it yet because I haven't had a single doctor give a shit thus far. I've spoken to a relative who's an occupational therapist about it and her most helpful advice was about "energy envelopes," which is basically spoon theory. If you feel tired: stop. If you don't, or if you try to push through, we relapse hard and fast and you can pay for one day of walking 10 minutes too long with weeks of being stuck in bed. It's miserable. It will take longer to get back to normal. Some of us can exercise and feel amazing after; others are exercise intolerant and it wrecks them. (I feel best after like, 10 minutes of walking and sunshine right now, which is after months and months of being bedridden.)

- Treat mental exertion the same as physical. Doctors told me to drink Gatorade after mental work because it's still work, and it has helped a lot for whatever reason. It also helps to work on one thing at a time, take a break, switch gears, take a break, etc. I can't multitask anymore anyway.

- Eliminate whatever stressors you can. Stress will make everything worse. 

- It comes and goes. Every relapse was a bit shorter and a bit easier for me, so that now when I fuck up it's like 2-3 days instead of weeks, but it's a rollercoaster.

- It can be random as hell. For about two months my gallbladder just decided to up and die, basically, and we were talking about having it removed. And then it was fine. Hasn't bugged me again lately. I know I said it's symptom management, but it's also like... symptom chasing and trying to figure out what's happening every time the sun rises. This is also exhausting. Everything is exhausting.

- Brain shit. Some of us have serious trouble reading. Sentences swim together. Letters wouldn't turn into words. I took this as a Challenge and started reading children's books and then Animorphs again, like... slowly, as much as I could do without pushing it, and it's still not perfect or great but it was an okay place to start. Honestly the hardest part was the embarrassment and going from a PhD program to reading kids books, but. Do what you have to. Do what you can.

- Sticky notes and labelling things around the house so I could see them when I needed them. I am not fucking around when I say brain fog. I can open the fridge, know I have milk, know it is in the door, and literally not see it to find it. I will put the cream in the dishwasher. I will spin in circles in the kitchen remembering and forgetting and remembering why I’m there again. Sticky notes. Also: journals, index cards, write literally everything down if you need to remember something. Put it somewhere obvious. I like writing on the bathroom mirror for the important shit. (Don’t use lipstick.) 

- Unsurprisingly, a lot of us are struggling with anxiety and depression. Don't let doctors get it backward: it's not anxiety making us sick, it's being sick and ignored and fighting to be helped that's making our mental health worse. So many doctors tell us it's all in our head. I did not move across the country because I was too sick to take care of myself because of ~allergies~ or ~anxiety.~ Fuck off.

- So, so many people report that they relapse whenever they menstruate so if your friend is in that group, they might want to prepare to feel like fucking trash every 4 weeks no matter what they do. I don’t have any advice on this one, I’m sorry. There are a lot of people discussing it in the FB groups, though, and those are searchable for symptoms. 

- So... a tl;dr list of things that might help: anti-inflammatory diets, anti-histamine diets, pepcid AC, allegra or other allergy meds, vitamin A/D/E, multivitamins, electrolytes and gatorade, albuterol, fluticasone, zopiclone (or anything that helps with sleep), CBD oil, singulair, anti-nausea meds (buscopan), muscle relaxants (spasming gallbladder). Rest, so much rest, do not fuck with The Rest if you can help it. I also encourage just getting high and edibles as much as you can because it sure helped me chill out big time and I think was a big factor in my recovery, at least as far as helping me calm down and helping my heart were concerned.

- The actual most helpful part outside of what to take or do was other people. Friends would go out and get me things when I could not, including like, cat food deliveries and all. I had co-workers ready to step in to take over my work on days I could not. I had friends calling doctors because I was too tired to fight them or self-advocate. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say they helped save my idiot life this year. Literally. It's a lot to ask of anyone but it's also that level of support that some of us need, and there shouldn't be any shame in it. (I still feel bad about it anyway but what are you gonna do.)

Depending on where you live, some places are setting up long-haul covid clinics to help people. Reports are mixed: some demand you had a positive test even if you were sick before tests were available. Some people are getting a lot of help regardless. Some are being sent home and told not to come back anyway. It’s kind of a gamble right now but either way, there’s at least some medical recognition making headway now so my fingers are crossed.

Anyway you basically sound like a good bean and your friend is lucky to have you asking around. I have absolutely forgotten something at some point in here because, well, brain fog and no memory, but if you have any questions or want something clarified please just ask. Stay safe!

[dedicatedfollower467]

DIRK’S PESTERQUEST ROUTE REACTIONS AS THEY HAPPEN

spoilers etc. yada yada yada i’ve been waiting for this for fucking EVER.

this is fucking massive, for the record.

“The one and only” lmao suuuuuuure whatever you say dirk.

i fucking adore his metal scuba suit though holy SHIT

“[talking in meatspace] isn’t exactly my forte” akdfsljkadsfhksadf you bet your ASS it isn’t mr. strider. (at this point i’m assuming this is actually hal, wouldn’t be the first time that we met “dirk” and it turned out to be hal)

the power of his own “voice” is almost too much for him MY CHILD.

OH HELLO HAL. GOOD TO SEE YOU USING YOUR USUAL RED. LOVE THE THEME MUSIC CHANGE TOO. IT’S GOOD MUSIC.

i fucking KNEW it i fucking knew that was hal lmao

so in that case HI DIRK HELLO MY ASSHOLE BABY CHILD.

“The use of the speaker system is new, but it makes sense he’d up his game for interfering with relationships I’m busy forging in 3D. I guess I should go ahead and be proud of him for it.” god i really wish dirk and hal could get along but they both hate themselves and therefore each other way too much for that...

“Every line of muscle in his body is held in excruciating placidity. You’ve never seen a jaw so purposefully unclenched” dIRK!!!!

“you’ll prove it to him with your deeds. it seems like that might be his love language” BOY FUCKING HOWDY IS IT. also how did i never put that together before ofc dirk’s love language is acts of service practically everything he does is an attempt to serve his friends in some capacity and he’s SO BAD at telling them with words.

(his secondary love language is gifts, evidence: brobot and detective pony)

god i’m so excited and so nervous lmao

i love this sprite with the verrrrrry slight smile he looks so sweet.

hell yes the fucking ROCKET BOARD.

“this is a much more comfortable thing for him than the conversation was” I’LL FUCKING BET IT IS.

“with Dirk it’s almost like he’d be less penetrable without [his shades]” oh well now THAT’S an interesting thought/observation.

holy shit that’s a cute fucking smile holy shit holy shit look at that grin AHHHH I’M DYING MY BOY IS SMILING.

“Not sure how well my deep, personal beef with the imagery of the sea will land for you, but there it is.” WELL THAT CERTAINLY MAKES THAT ONE LINE FROM HOMESTUCK 2 A LOT MORE EMOTIONAL, WHICH IT ALREADY DEFINITELY FUCKING WAS.

“Ace Attorney monologue” OMFG HAS DIRK PLAYED AA??? WHO’S HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER? WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE GAME?? i mean he’s definitely got the hair to be a fucking ace attorney character especially in pesterquest lmao

OH MY FUCKING GOD IS HE HOLDING BACK A LAUGH. IS THAT WHAT THAT MOUTH IS. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE THIS ALKJADSFLADHADS

“He’s leaning forward, laughing, dimples carved into his freckled cheeks. There’s a small twist in your heart about it, and you can’t place why.” A *SMALL* TWIST? A SMALL TWIST? TRY A TWIST THAT’S WRENCHING MY HEART WIDE FUCKING OPEN AND SPILLING ITS CONTENTS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.

“At least make me try and earn it first.” THAT’S THE MOST DIRK THING I’VE EVER HEARD AND ALSO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

“I can just fold [my hand] and hope your shit works out instead.” Ah yes, dirk’s incessant and almost pathological need to be in control at work again.

“I want to be the only one in charge of endangering my own life. You got me.” oh dirk. oh honey.

“How much has this boy wanted to be known?” oh okay yeah that’s fine i didn’t need my heart anyway pesterquest, you can have it.

oh. hi ultimate dirk. i fucking knew this was gonna fucking happen.

“i can’t believe i was ever this pathetic” LEAVE HIM ALONE. (but also i know you can’t because you fucking hate yourself and it’s fucking tragic)

OH. OH OKAY WE’RE NOT JUST GONNA BE FUCKING NARRATIVE WE’RE GONNA BRING THE ACTUAL FUCKING DUDE HERE.

AND WE’RE GONNA PLAY AN OMINOUS-ASS VERSION OF "BEATDOWN” HOLY SHIT. CHRIST CAN WE GET ANY MORE HEAVY HANDED HERE????

also holy shitting christ ultimate dirk is swole. ‘twink ass bitch’ my ass, he’s at least a twunk.

“You fuck off and let people live their arcs.” NO FUCKING WAY, NOT IF HIS IS GOING TO END UP AS YOU, DICKHEAD.

“Oh fuck.

You remember it.

You remember Homestuck.”

well, probably not all of it, it’s pretty goddamn long, and very hard to remember all the details. i should know, i’m currently re-reading it.

oh no.

oh no, this looks like regular dirk but ominous “beatdown” is playing which makes me very fucking nervous.

“You cared about him before you knew every tiny fucked up detail about his life, and now, with a reminder of where his story leads leaning smugly against the railing, you find you still do.” YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I DO!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

“He’s intense and pushy and profoundly complicated, and right now he is helping you to your feet, his hand steady and firm on your back as you find your balance.” I’M CRYING.

“This isn’t as simple as an evil Dirk and a good one. If you’ve learned anything from your travels it’s that everyone has the capacity for hurt inside them, and everyone the capacity for love.” I’M STILL CRYING.

“The combo of all splinters of Dirk, fermenting in his flesh container and not holding onto his shit nearly as well as he likes to pretend” an apt and succinct description of ultimate dirk.

“No, I can see it. If anyone was going to pull off an “I’m you, but stronger,” it would be all of me, combined.” DIRK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

“Your allegiance is not to the story, but to the people within it.” A-FUCKING-MEN MSPAR!!!

“The ends always justifies the means, Dirk.” I feel like that’s the breaking point there. IDK what’s going to happen next but that line sure was a line about philosophy, aka one of Dirk’s biggest special interests.

“[Ultimate Dirk] doesn’t have to work overtime to create more pain just so he can feel like he’s in control of how much punishment he gets and how badly he deserves it!”

oh.

oh wow.

oh WOW that’s hitting it on the fucking nose, MSPAR.

“He’s going to drown in [longing and loathing and Ultimate Dirk] if you don’t do something” STOP COMING BACK TO THAT GODDAMN LINE PESTERQUEST YOU’RE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE.

“You know how he loves -- though it’s fierce (to a definite fault), he does not do it easily.” STOP MURDERING MY HEART WITH PERFECT SNAPSHOTS OF DIRK AS A PERSON EVERY TWO SECONDS MSPAR I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

AHHHHHHHH IT’S DAVE!!! IT’S FUCKING. CANDY DAVE. I JUST. I CANNOT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

“you look like someone ironed the mayor so that’s a million more points in your favor” DAAAAAAVE!!!!

“Dave pulls him into a short, back-thumping bro hug which Dirk weathers like a wet cat not trusting a towel to dry him off.” AAAAAHHHHHHHH I’M FUCKING DYING I’M DYING I’M DYING HELP I’M DYING GOD HELP HOLY SHIT, FIRST OF ALL, THE SPRITE/ILLUSTRATION, SECOND OF ALL, THAT DESCRIPTION OF DIRK, THIRD OF ALL I’M FUCKING DYING

CANDY DAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

you deserve so much better than the raw hand the candy epilogue dealt you jfc.

“Bringing fucking guns to a knife fight here.” I mean, did you really expect MSPAR to play fair when the health and happiness of all their best friends is at stake, UD?

SAD ENDING IS SAD.

“Be good to that me, will you? Treat him right?”

dirk, this is yourself. you’ve never treated yourself right. ever. tbqh you probably never will. ultimate dirk is absolutely no different.

(but also this makes me wonder if we’re gonna see “Trust yourself” timeline Pesterquest Dirk showing up in Homestuck 2? That would be fucking wild I’d love to see that.)

“are we anti-ocean here”

“Oh yeah, extremely.”

YES, WE FUCKING ARE, AND AGAIN WITH THE REFERENCES TO HOMESTUCK 2 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

oh, of fucking course ultimate dirk’s a sore loser, he’s ultimate dirk, fucking duh.

“You did it. You got him a good end.” i fucking love that this game is literally just. explicitly saying exactly what i was freaking over and desperately wanted.

like i’m just gonna take a moment here to admit that i was really nervous that dirk would end up like candy timeline dirk and just off himself. i was really afraid that a good end just straight up wasn’t possible.

i love that it’s not. and i equally love that the game acknowledges that a FUCKTON of us really wanted to give him that.

“Maybe [Doc Scratch] and Ultimate Dirk were working together the whole time.” maybe doc scratch has been ultimate dirk this whole time. or vice versa.

“There are just so many details to remember” lmao i made that point like a dozen paragraphs up.

i.... do not recognize the text style of whoever just say “hey. we can talk about this.”

IT’S HUSSIE. HOLY SHIT. IT’S DEFINITELY 100% HUSSIE.

i....... don’t know who that is? the woman?

is this like. the person who’s been running pesterquest?

it totally is.

i don’t know who that is i don’t know enough about the homestuck machine to know who that actually is.

lmao ultimate dirk and the irl director are fighting over how incredibly self-indulgent this metanarrative is, which is fucking amazing. i kind of love this? i really kind of adore this.

i can’t help but notice that the director has blank white eyes.

i.e. the Author is already dead, yo.

“They’re just an artifact of the medium” HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS FANTASTIC. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN HERE.

“I’d say thanks but I feel like you all got more out of it than me” I’M DYING I LOVE THIS HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY.

“Stop flirting with my audience you anime ass motherfucker” LMAOOOOOOOO

“I wouldn’t look like this if you didn’t want me to” I KNOW I’M JUST QUOTING BASICALLY THIS WHOLE THING BUT LISTEN I LOVE IT, I FUCKING LOVE IT, IT’S FUCKING PERFECT, GOD. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS SO GOOD.

“I actually let the artists have a lot of creative license” somebody’s horny for ultimate dirk.

eridan DESERVES that gender arc and i’m excited for him.

“Happy people don’t get stories told about them.” I’m sorry, I’ve read enough Domestic Fluff fanfic to tell you that’s just blatantly not true, Ultimate Dirk.

wait.

wait wait wait wait.

pesterquest is a RETCON???????????

THAT was not something i was expecting

you click “don’t” betray your friends and pesterquest just fucking closes like this is fucking undertale jesus fucking christ.

but....

i don’t wanna betray my friends.

but i wanna see what happens....

god dammit this is exactly like the murder run of undertale, i don’t wanna do it but i have to know.

“Andrew Hussie would never do this to me” yeah well, Andrew Hussie barely ever interacted with you soooooo...

and if i throw the beta in the sewer again pesterquest quits. again.

i mean, i knew it would but... *sigh*

that’s a fucking depressing ass ending.

... except that “Savior of the Waking World” still hasn’t been unlocked...

Huh.

I’m... gonna see what happens if I start John’s route over again.

oh duh, of course it’s a retcon, MSPAR touched the Homestuck juju. i forgot about that.

(a big part of me wants to look up the process of getting the true ending. but a bigger part of me wants to figure it out for myself.)

hmmm. okay so replaying john’s ending once didn’t do it.

i guess i coooooould try replaying the whole thing? that sounds. like a lot of effort.

or i could try not betraying my friends approximately five million times let’s see what happens if i do that.

i’m going to do that experimenting in another post cuz this is already huge. see ya in part two.

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

[ournewoverlords]

Booksmart slaps. It’s just a huge amount of fun to watch - the key word here for me is “good-natured”. This is a good-natured movie that teases and pokes fun at a lot of people - a lot of *kinds* of people, from the queer drama kids to the dopey jocks to the Gen Z overachieving feminist types who have pictures of Michelle Obama on their wall and can quote Susan B Anthony from memory - without ever making fun of anyone in a mean-spirited way, and highlighting that no one is ever “just” their tribe. The ending ties the story up neatly with a feel-good bow about how no one is really what they seem on the surface, especially not in high school, when everyone’s trying so hard to be invulnerable… which also means they can’t be *seen*. There’s a lot of great character work here that I think could’ve been fleshed out even more (the 1 hour 45 min runtime feels shockingly short in the day and age of Endgame) but still feels natural and sincere, and the huge array of secondary characters - real characters, not just insert-famous-cameos - gives this movie not just humor but so much life and buoyancy.

(Warning: light spoilers beneath cut)

What keeps it from reaching the top tier for me, though, is that it somehow still feels like something I’ve seen before, even though the window dressing is so different. It’s definitely rare to see female best-friendship displayed so frankly, genuinely, and *hilariously* on the big screen, and I can’t remember another movie where the nerdy valedictorian is a boss and knows it, not to mention one where one of them is a lesbian (my young baby lesbian Amy!! protect that cinnamon roll), but the story of two blood-sworn, childhood-, everything-friends reaching the last chapter of their adolescence together in fun and games and boozy celebration, all while the fear of how they’ll face the great unknown without the other is this silent undercurrent churning beneath… that feels familiar to me? That doesn’t keep me from loving this particular theme, because it IS a great one, I just mean it’s not as original as Ladybird, so it lends itself to comparison more easily. 

Superbad, for instance. I actually kinda hate how every review (including the one linked here, which is totally in line with my sentiments) keeps calling this “the female Superbad”. Yes, it’s a coming-of-age comedy about two friends at the end of the senior year trying to go out with a bang together, and yes, it’s a little raunchy, and yes, it really is all about the friendship between the two main characters at its core… but the whole texture, color, and point of Booksmart are completely different. 

By texture, I mean that even as the two girls are the “heroes” of this quest, it’s still interested in the characters outside them, such that you really get the sense that they are their own people, with their own lives and inner life. In the briefest of screentimes you grasp instantly why someone like Molly would be attracted to easygoing jock Nick (but then connects to the hopelessly-messy-but-sweet Jared), and why Amy likes the skatergirl with the big toothy grin. The other kids and love interests aren’t just vessels for Molly and Amy’s own awakenings. In fact, some of them have their own troubles, and they’re all really pretty good kids.

It’s interested in the way that the two mains are, in their own way, not the most perfect people. How the world’s really not out to get them; in fact, they’re the ones who have to learn to fit into it. I talk more about this below, but this was the part I liked the most, because it feels particularly true to life in a way that I don’t think I’ve seen in many other coming-of-age narratives, much less light-hearted comedies.

Speaking of light-hearted, the whole tone of the humor is waay different from Superbad’s too. It’s funny as hell, which is probably the most important thing at the end of the day — there were a few scenes that had me and my entire theater howling — but amazingly for a coming-of-age comedy, I remember very few of the jokes being gross-out or sexual, or even all that cringe. Booksmart mines a lot of physical humor just in their sheer facial expressions (if a picture is a thousand words, Beanie Feldstein’s face does the work of a thousand punchlines), but it’s mostly the little throw-away lines and hilarious sketches (the attempted robbery in the car! Amy’s overly-well-meaning parents! everything GiGi and Jared do) that string everything together and carry the day. That’s not to say that there aren’t serious moments that are given due weight too — Amy under the water, submerged in that song is just an absolutely beautiful shot. 

It reminds me a little of Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, which I think is a more interesting comparison than Superbad here. Booksmart tries to capture some of that raw realness that Eighth Grade had, underneath all the silliness and humor; it is, in many ways, about how hard it is to be vulnerable to someone else, even (especially) the people you love. It pulls at a lot of strands and among them are the idea that this is what high school is really like, that to be honest all these boys (and girls!) who hold your heart in their clumsy, sweaty fingers will be like leaves in the wind years from now, that standing on the entrance to adulthood isn’t a physical change, it’s not about booze, or losing your virginity, or getting accepted by your peers. Becoming an adult is inner work, alright, but it’s also not work you can do on your own. Because it’s about how you treat yourself, but it’s about how you treat other people too. 

But I think where Eighth Grade really succeeds is this it has this kind of specificity to it — it really, really is about this awkward girl, and her lonely existence, and about being a girl who is becoming a woman in a certain context. And that specificity gives it a kind of honesty that rings painfully true to me. Booksmart — probably because it is trying to avoid stereotypes and do something entirely new here, which is totally commendable — almost feels a little too universal. It feels like you could replace Molly and Amy here with dudes, and it wouldn’t be a huge change in dynamics outside the pussy hats and Malalia worship, because these two are defined more by their identities as “overachieving party-pooping best-friend NERDS” than by being girls per se. These are two whipsmart dorks who are best friends, and happen to be female, rather than a portrayal of female best friendship per se. And the other kids treat them that way too: no one gives a shit Molly’s chubby or Amy’s a lesbian, they give a shit that they’re exasperating know-it-alls.

Which is REALLY refreshing. I’m being unfair here — it’s *because* it’s so rare to see female friendships or just girls in general depicted this way on screen that I think it doesn’t quite “fit” my own intuitions about real life. But I’m a weird case of someone who really struggled in high school, and definitely didn’t have friends much less deep ones like theirs, and I bet other women would recognize themselves in these two and their relationship much more. The frank vagina talk and the fact that Molly and Amy are actually really self-assured and even pretty damn well-liked are just super freakin’ cool anyways. In particular I LOVE the way they’re still dorky, in a way I so rarely see female characters allowed to be because female characters written by dudes tend to be so poised and “above” the main male protagonist (probably because the screenwriters are thinking back to their own high-school crushes, who must’ve seemed so mature and unattainable to a nerdy teenage boy). 

It goes back to what I said about this being an affectionate, feel-good movie where everyone turns out to be pretty decent in the end. It doesn’t set out to be much more than that, and I’m not sure if I wanted it to be, but I think it’s that fact they didn’t go all out that keeps it from being a 10/10 for me. It’s just very sweet and knowing and funny and always making sure to laugh with these oddball kids, but that same gentleness keeps it from being something great; it’s like you need some claws to expose something “real”.

It’s a little strange to me, for example, that the movie dishes out a lot of high-school tropes — all the kids are playful representatives of some stereotype — but doesn’t seem to have any real bullies, and happily accepts the two not-very-outcasted outcasts at the party with open arms. And the girls each get their heart crushed, but only for like five minutes before they (tbqh) each get an upgrade. Every Gen Z tribe gets represented — from the failing stoner who actually has an offer from Google to the misunderstood school slut to poor Jared, my sweet beautiful mess of an unloved richboy — in this kind of Glee grab-bag kinda way, but without Glee’s sense that what ties us all together is this fucking shared suffering called high school; Booksmart’s high school is more like a utopia where everyone wears what they want and gets to be quirky and different and much cooler than you think in their own individualistic way. (They even have Jessica Williams as a teacher! UGH, so jelly.)

There’s something that’s actually really subversive about this, because 1) no one’s a villain and 2) to the extent that Molly and Amy are unpopular, it’s kinda brought on by themselves. *They* were the ones who chose never to hang out with the other kids, because studying was more important. *They* are the ones who have to learn something. Molly was the one who judged everyone by the school they got into, even as the others never gave a shit about it. Amy came out two years ago, but the reason she’s never had a kiss isn’t so much because she’s a lesbian, but because she’s too timid and unassertive as a person. Molly’s character arc is discovering that she’s too freaking judgey and she needs to stop assuming she knows everything from the cover, Amy’s is to realize herself as her own person outside of the (admittedly powerful) centrifugal force of her best friend. 

Those are GREAT ideas for arcs, it’s just that the execution of them didn’t completely land for me — maybe because the jokes were competing so much with the serious bits for screentime, it had to scramble at the end for the moment of character growth. So it didn’t feel fully “earned” to me, even as it worked on the thematic level of truly seeing people when you aren’t blinded by your own assumptions. 

Still, it’s a really satisfying movie with a different take on a common trope, and packed with killer lines and secondary characters like Jared that are just so great (he’s one that feels especially on-point to me because I recognize one of my old classmates in him — a great kid, just… swimming through life in a different lane). The cameos by the adult actors — Jessica Williams, Lisa Kudrow, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte — were predictably fantastic. In fact all the acting and casting was SO GOOD (I found out later that the casting director was the one who did Freaks and Geeks!). I’m impressed by Olivia Wilde in her directorial debut here, it’s clear that she has an ear for comedic beats and some of the shots were wonderful — in a lot of comedies the camera is just kinda static and it’s all talking heads, but here the angles, the POV shots, the longer takes that move in and out of sound add so much dynamism. Excited for what she does next.

[myrxellabaratheon]

About me and fanfic tag game

Tagged by the wonderful @amethyst-noir <3 thank you so much, dearie!

1. At what age did you start writing fanfiction? So, I arrived in the fanfic world when I was super young, during the last year of middle school/first year of high school. I was 13/14, I don’t remember right now, and I started to write Harry Potter fanfic when EFP was still a thing in Italy (Italians fellows, tell me you remember of the hell pit that site was oof). 

2. Who is your favorite author? Ok, so, I think this is a hard question for me because I usually read a lot from the same authors and I don’t really look around, at least in the asoiaf fandom (mostly because if I can avoid the hate mess that this fandom can be, I’m happy) so, I’d say that my faves are absolutely @janiedean and @bloggish 

In the ironstrange/stephen strange’s fandom, totally @amethyst-noir @visionarygalaxy @notjustamumj and I LOVE all the gen/missing scene fics that @aelaer writes! I’m generally not over obsessed with ships and very much like gen ones and their fics are totally on point! 

And, well, those are the only two fandoms I read fanfics about so, that’s it, folks.

3. Favorite type of scene to write? It mostly depends? I really love to go deep into the characthers’ minds, if this is a type of scene. Dialogues scenes are fun to write, too. 

4. What is your favorite fanfic? I don’t know, really, I’m sorry I just love a lot of them and I never bookmark anything so I can’t really tell. 

5. What tags do you avoid like the plague? A/B/O, except for very rare exceptions. <<<< Excessive jealousy, possessiveness. Crossdressing and genderswap. 

6. What AU do you wish to write but feel like you won’t manage? Decent smut?! Like, I can write it but it always seems so dull when I read what I wrote. Seriously speaking, the Sherlock Holmes inception AU, I think, like, I have so many ideas about that one, but I can’t bring myself to start to write it. Also the Shutter Island AU.

7. Do you outline, or write as you go? No outline. If I outline the story is finished. I write because I have an idea and don’t know how it’ll turn out. I discover the plot as I write. I quote Amy again here! The only things I’ve an outline for are the charity fics (because of reasons) and those outlines are more a brainstorm than everything defined, and the “Tony is Peter’s real father ironwidowstrange fic” because it’ll be a monster and I don’t really think I can go through it without an outline. 

8. What has been your favorite story to write so far? Why? Ok, so, I have to answer with two fics because there’s one for fandom. For asoiaf, totally “This will be more fun than any prison sentence has any right to be” because it was my first Throbb fic and I put my mind into writing it while watching one of my favourites tv shows for like the 10th time or so and I really, really think this is the fic which had me “fuck everything I have fun while writing them, I’ll post my fics!” 

While in the Marvel fandom, I’m having a lot of fun writing the new Ironstrange Big Bang fic and its outtakes, but I haven’t posted this yet so, between the posted ones, I think  'Cause people believe That they're gonna get away for the summer But you and I, we live and die because it’s me trying for the first time the dynamics of a poli-ship I thought a lot about before. 

9. Do you prefer to write one-shots or multi-chapters? Why? One-shots! Multi-chaptered fics are fun and all, but they require a lot of commitment and I just feel sorry when people ask for updates and I run out of ideas. (Don’t worry, I’m continuing both the CxJ and the fix-it one)

10. What is your favorite kind of comment? There isn’t a single type of comment that I like, I just love all of them! The only exception is the ones in which people question my choices in the matter of the plot, because, you know, my story, my ideas, my plot.

11. Why did you start writing fanfiction? Why are you still writing? I started thanks to a friend who introduced me to the world of fanfics, she was the person who told me about EFP and we started to write a fic together, always in the Harry Potter fandom, even if we never posted it. I’ve always love to write and because of the fact that I grow bored with everything (which is the reason why I never finish anything), I couldn0t commit myself with an original story. 

For a long time, I haven’t read and write any fanfic, until a different friend sent me a Throbb fanfic, not only bringing me to ship them romantically but also letting me discover AO3. After I while spent reading fics on that site, I started to wish to go back writing myself. I don’t think the reasons why I write changed, tbqh. 

tagging: @janiedean @wynafryd-manderly @motherofkittens94 @like-a-word-on-a-wing @vi-is-strange @visionarygalaxy (if you want to, of course *w* )

[fuckyeahbellarke]

So no romantic Bellarke this season and Jason's interview talking about Bellarke being 'non-romantic soulmates' and Be/cho hasn't broken up. I feel baited.

1.) You’re not being baited. I’m getting kinda sick of people using that word. Jason and the writing team ARE giving you Bellarke. They have been for five seasons. They’re just not giving it to you in the exact way you want it and within the timetable you think it should be.

This is not their problem, it’s yours. You were never promised romantic Bellarke this season or any other season. 

You were promised them being the heart of the show–the center of the show–and Jason and the writing team delivered on that. Hell! They ended the season (which was designed to be a series end if S6 didn’t get greenlit) with Bellarke.

2.) Be.cho is such a non-issue TBQH. All season long, B/E has existed ONLY WHEN Bellarke were not together. 

B/E existed in space in 1&3, but then Bellamy found Clarke. 

Episodes 4&5 had Bellarke working seamlessly together

but the end had the B/E reveal

Ep. 6 had Clarke and Bellamy working apart and at cross-purposes. 

Episode 7&8 had Bellarke working together while E was gone. 

Episode 9 consisted of the fight, but we didn’t get any more B/E than we did Bellarke from then until…

Ep. 12 where B/E reunited, but was hardly a focus. There was more of a focus on Clarke’s change of behavior…prompted by her feelings for Bellamy that episode.

Then, in this episode B/E were in the first half but E just…vanished…as soon as Clarke came on the scene and reunited with Bellamy.

That is so damn obvious.

Bellarke got scenes before the cryo and after the timejump. B/E got…nothing.

3.) If I’m not mistaken, that interview contains so much ‘right now’ and ‘at this moment’ wording that it’s laughable that so many people are upset. This is how writer’s work. They’re not going to outright say “Yeah, eventually they’re gonna bang” or “They’re never gonna even kiss, so get over it.”AT THIS MOMENT, he is absolutely right.

Bellamy and Clarke are not overtly romantic. There may be some implicit romance sprinkled in, but that’s all part of the ‘soulmates’ part of that quote.

BELLAMY BLAKE AND CLARKE GRIFFIN ARE FUCKING CANON SOULMATES, EVERYONE!!!!! 

And, honestly, even if that’s all it ever is between them, it’s so damn wonderful. Because these two are each other’s person, and they pretty much always choose each other, even over their current love interests.

Clarke chose Bellamy over Finn all the time in S1-2.Clarke’s plan was to go back to her people and Bellamy in 3.07 before everything went crazy.Even Raven commented that Bellamy was more devoted to Clarke than to Gina.And, as stated above, Bellarke always took priority over Bellamy/E.cho.

4.) If you’re still so upset about the development of Bellarke up to this point, please, for the love of everything in the universe, do what is best for yourself and walk away if you wish. Stop putting yourself through things you don’t enjoy.

I did this with Gossip Girl and TVD years ago. I loved the first few seasons of Gossip Girl, but eventually found myself not being excited for new episodes and sometime around season 4 or 5, I jumped ship. Same for TVD, it used to be my favorite show, but after what happened with a certain character or two, I realized I didn’t like what the show was becoming and decided to stop watching and only pay attention to what was happening via gifsets on Tumblr.

It is not healthy for you or for others for you to make continual posts about what you don’t like about something. It won’t actually make you feel better, and it certainly won’t make those who do enjoy it any happier.

Find a new show to love. A lot of the Bellarke fandom seems to be starting Queen of the South or Cloak and Dagger. I haven’t seen them, so I don’t have any opinions on them.

I’ll recommend some of my favs that I love endlessly:

From Dusk Till Dawn (darker, grittier supernatural-themed show)

Outlander (sometimes dark historical drama and adventure series spanning decades, based on a book series)

Veronica Mars (a teen drama centered on crimes, has a 10 years later wrap-up movie already made)

Bones (a long running crime drama series where the main characters have a lovely friendship that becomes a romance, and a lovely cast of characters and relationships to fall in love with)

The Mentalist (another crime drama but with a continual plot in the background)

Timeless (a present day time-travel sci-fi adventure drama, has a wrap-up two-episode movie in the works)

[girlbookwrm]

MEMECEPTION:

THE MIGHTY PRE-ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES

happy galentine’s day. we did this, like, a week ago for The Roommate ( @goteamwin ) ‘s birthday and i just took f o r e v e r to type it up sorry

in my defense, it’s hard to meme-efy a movie that’s already extremely meme-eful. Hence, memeception. although tbqh if Guardians of the Galaxy is giving me trouble because it’s already making fun of itself, I don’t know WHAT I’m going to do with Thor: Ragnarok. Remember when GotG was the memiest Marvel movie? We were so young.

It is important to me that y’all know that because of cacw, whenever The Roommate and I see any kind of... title page? whatever? We bellow the word at top volume even if the font ISN’T inexplicably filling the entire screen. 

and so, I say to thee:

E A R T H ! ! ! 1 9 8 8 ! ! ! ! !

stealth reagan in the background to let you know it’s the 80s in case you were confused.

In What Sense is he like his father At All???

Honestly, to anyone who was surprised at Starlord’s actions in IW, they set up his tragic flaw right here. it’s page one. i don’t know why u were surprised.

B- grandfathering, but extra credit for difficult circumstances. u tried

Day Whatever, I Still Miss The Old Marvel Logo.

26 Y E A R S L A T E R

so, 2014 confirmed, for all the other timeline enthusiasts out there.

This is. The WEIRDEST gadget.

why is it like this

what is it doing

and how

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

I love this scene because up until this point it could be literally any other marvel movie and then 

BOOM

it’s GotG, bitch. get ready to Have Some Fun.

also it pretty firmly establishes that Peter Quill is our protagonist, but he is No One’s Hero.

there are giant fucking eels here? what the fuck? what HAPPENED to this place???

stop trying to make star-lord happen, it’s never going to happen.

i have questions. 

specifically about Ronan’s whole. everything.

Is he literally sleeping in the blood of his enemies?

is it necessary to have all these people help him get dressed?

what is up with this Immortan Joe Esque powder tossing business

what sorry sucker gets to put THAT on their Kree Resume

“Ronan’s Makeup Artist”

seriously

what is his fucking deal. how did he get the name “accuser” and will Captain Marvel give us these answers?

anyway, moving on.

POOTER!

people DO NOT call you star-lord

Gamora is a real #Icon in this whole scene.

SUPERHERO LANDING!

love that Rocket’s entire plan is to put criminals in a literal bag

and that it’s foiled because Groot doesn’t get gender.

also, John C Reilly has some of the best lines in this movie and I think he deserves more recognition for that.

“I am Groot.” “That’s gonna wear real thin real fast”

WEIRDLY NO??? srsly how did they prevent that from getting old fast?

Me: was it witchcraft?

The Roommate: No, it’s just Groot.

can we appreciate that Gamora is One Of Us? like. She’s into that.

if you don’t know what I’m talking about i am not going to explain it

Don’t Worry About It.

the moment we all went ho lee FUCK ANDY DWYER??? YOU GOT RIPPED MY DUDE YOU GOT FUCKING HUGE

oh no they gave me feelings about Rocket

the real hero of this movie is that prison lady and her telenovela

good job drax u found ur light

Rocket’s Bedhead is An Entire Mood.

how can Thanos take you seriously with all that shit on your face you look ridiculous.

“my favorite daughter” DUDE NEBULA IS R I G H T. T H E R E.

 Rocket’s UGH face is also An Entire Mood

i love how the others are like. wanting to get out. but Drax just joins in for shits and giggles? like? he’s having a good time? wholesome.

“Oh. yeah.” Rocket is maybe explosion-sexual. which. ok yeah mood there as well.

I will never tire of the fact that the prison uniform prints their rap sheets on their legs and Quill’s is the shortest

like, it’s even shorter than Rocket’s. And let’s remember that Rocket is definitely less than 20 years old since he’s A Raccoon.

Rocket just casually putting bombs together just to have something to do with his hands.

Let’s pull this apart: No one is phased by the Jackson Pollack reference. They seem to know exactly what Quill is talking about.

Jackson Pollack is an alien. CONFIRMED.

oh hey it’s a dark elf

GROOT: CINNAMON ROLL, 2 GOOD FOR THIS WORLD 2 PÜR

“he killed my parents in front of me.” I mean. kkkkkkinda

The Gal Pal, who teaches English Language Learners: “Sticks up their butts” is actually a prime example of the ELL struggle and why English is hard to learn

Rocket one drink in is sad AND angry

oh yeah? how many friends do YOU have, petey boy?

We firmly believe that the Collector kept them waiting so he could do his hair. He truly is the Grandmaster’s brother.

oh hey it’s exposition time

wait is that the planet we were on earlier? is the power stone why it’s Like That? did they just leave the power stone there after it did that? it’s the reality stone all over again honestly what the fuck

whAT DO YOU STILL HAVE IT FORRR?????

seriously. “the accuser” is a hell of a name.

aw drax. don’t you hate when you realize that someone means more to you than you do to them.

it’s like bumper cars but there’s a winner!

spinal fluid is an extra gross way to drown

omg it’s the frog all over again SHE’S EVEN GREEN

Quill’s eyes here are red and that feels right but also I HATE IT

everyone thinks they’re Groot’s dad, when in fact Groot is everyone’s dad.

This whole argument/discussion scene is Solid Gold

12% of a plan

IT’S REAL

Rocket understanding everything Groot says

basically Rocket tbh

“To Give A Shit”

The Roommate: I feel like this is when Quill becomes Quill instead of the superhero Andy Dwyer imagined. 

wait did they say sakaaran???

freaking Glenn Close wth man

Random Extra #2056 has amazing hair and she knows it

Drax is having too much fun

Honestly I’m typing this up and in my notes it just says “And This Happened” and even I don’t know what I mean there

Honestly, they had to kill Yondu. He’s too powerful. Thanos wouldn’t have stood a chance

“Star-Lord” oh my god it’s happening.

the way peter slides around in this movie -- does he have ball bearings in his ass or what?

Groot’s Smile. TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD TOO PURE

“YOU STAND ACCUSED” OF? WHAT??

Bucky and Nebula would really get along. I hope they get to meet some day.

More Questions About Ronan “””THE ACCUSER??”””

did he spend the last few hours just like

“ugh he WAS familiar”

“where the FUCK do I know him from ugh ugh ugh”

“OH RIGHT! I DID KILL HIS FAMILY!”

“Their screams were pitiful”

“I should tell him that.”

WE! ARE! GROOT!

Did they not evacuate the city? wasn’t that a thing?

EYYYY THEY SAID THE NAME OF THE THING

oh buddy you need like. all the skin cream.

Gamora = Peter’s Mom?? REALLY? YOU JUST WENT AHEAD AND MADE THAT SUBTEXT... TEXT. ALRIGHT. YOU WENT THERE. OK.

So is Ronan... not mortal???

like, he says 

Anyway.

How much time has passed between the battle and this end scene? coupla weeks? months? What are we thinking? I need to know for timeline reasons.

[corvidexoskeleton]

the hierophant, death, the devil, temperance

The Heirophant: Do you believe in ghosts?

Kind of????? I mean, I lived in a obviously haunted house for several years, and both myself and my family have seen plenty of shit that could technically be classified as “ghosts”, but I’m still a little on the fence about it. ‘Cause I mean, yeah, it was probably ghosts, but there’s still the chance that there was an actual, logical reason for those things happening, y’know?

Death: What are three things you want to do before you die?

1) Punch someone in the face (breaking their nose if preferable, but optional)

2) Visit another country 

3) Become entirely fluent in another language

The Devil: Do you enjoy thunderstorms?

Oh HELL yeah, I love thunderstorms so much, dude. We used to get a lot of them where I lived in Washington state, and I’d always go stand out in the rain and listen to the thunder

Temperance: Can you describe a strange dream you’ve had?

Tbqh, most of my dreams are pretty strange, I guess, but they usually actually have like and actual story line/some sort of plot. The strangest (more like horrifying) one I can remember clearly was one I had earlier this month where I woke up in the ruins of some huge underground bunker-type place, kind of like the beginning of Portal 2, except waaaaayyy worse. 

TW for graphic descriptions of blood, gore, and death

I was in this tiny metal bedroom, and when I got up and looked around the bunker, EVERYTHING was destroyed and covered in very old, dried blood. The further in I went, I started to get an idea of what happened based on the shit I found and “remembered” from before I had gone to seep (in the dream). 

From what I could tell, humans had partially started to retreat underground the wake of climate change and the discovery of some freaky illness that completely fucked people up in agonizing ways before finally killing them, and what had completely driven us underground for good was we had made contact with giant cephalopod-like aliens, who seemed to have some kind of beef with us. While underground, humans had been working on/experimenting with the weird illness to try and find some kind of cure or treatment. I think the illness had been artificially manufactured, but I can’t remember if it was made by us or the aliens.

Unfortunately, the aliens had managed to use our own technology against us, and what few we had in containment in the bunker broke out and turned the bunker’s defenses against us. They had also set the illness loose among us, and most people who weren’t brutally slaughtered by the aliens had to suffer a long, agonizing death while trying to hide from the aliens. 

There was a brief, bloody war with massive casualties on both sides, but eventually, all the humans in the bunker either died or, in my case, went into a coma for a long ass time. 

As I continued to explore the ruins, I began to reach what seemed to be major battles areas; huge hallways strewn with rotten corpses, destroyed machinery, entire sections of the walls and ceiling collapsing. At one point I found the mangled remains of a huge press that had thick, meter-long spikes on it and was apparently supposed to descend from the hall ceiling. It was obscuring most of the hall width and was resting on top of several carcasses impaled by the spikes. 

A little further, I found a room filled with large vats full of yellowish liquid, most broken and empty, but some were still intact, and contained some of the aliens suspended in the liquid. It was around this area that I started to feel like proceeding further would only lead to some of the aliens still alive, and my death, so I decided to backtrack to the room I woke up in. 

The last thing I remember before waking up, was I was trying to get part of the bunker cleaned and repairing the power so I could find a way out of there. Not really a “strange” dream, by most definitions, but it was strange enough to me, as my dreams normally don’t contain nearly that much violence and death

[flamewyrmz]

a late night rant from twitter im putting in one place, because its a trainwreck of several threads there. mostly copy/paste and still not proofread, but a collection of thoughts on gender, sexuality, personal identity, and love and support within the lgbtq community. i do really lay myself bare here so id like to ask that if you disagree or have criticism you do so respectfully and with that in mind, thank you <3 and if this means something to you itd mean the world to me if you shared it

dunno if ive said this here before but like. if you think you might be bi/pan but youre on the fence cos maybe youve never had a crush on a nonfictional guy or get more crushes on guys than on girls and you find yourself tied up in knots like "well im gay but im also attracted to nonbinary people unless theyre mostly woman-aligned but i dont wanna say im bi/pan because then people will think i like girls and like i like them theoretically but--" let go. just say fuck it! im bi/pan! 

try it out and if it doesnt feel right it doesnt feel right and thats fine and in the end no matter what youll have learned a little about yourself. this is actually my advice on any gender/sexuality dilemmas you might be having. go wild. try it out. see how it feels. dont feel like you have to confine yourself to something just because youve stuck with it for some amount of time. 

if youre questioning dive right into the deep end! no matter how it goes youll be a better swimmer in the end. its all not quite rigid and a little fluid anyways (for some more than others obv) so if youre unsure, man... go for it. its ok to backpedal

--

this is important advice to me because ive struggled with it multiple times in the past and this has only recently clicked and i really wish it had sooner. first it was with being... not straight in general. like i was actively dating someone of the same gender and i never considered that that meant, uh, im not straight. always "do you like boys or girl?" "uhhhhhhhhh. uh. UH" 

then with being in the range of aro/ace spect. then with being nonbinary! then with being nb but primarily male. and then goddammit im just a boy. accepting that God I Love Men And Only Men (and with it that i *wasnt* aro or ace in ANY capacity) and then, very recently (like up until a couple months ago. like im p sure this year. not 2017), going back on that and admitting i was bi. it is so so freeing to just say "fuck it" and test those waters!

hell, you find something you resonate with but looks a little silly? go for it! use those bun/buns/bunself pronouns. go with stargender! ace-flux demibiromantic? hell yeah rock that shit! it can always change and you can always decide its not right and go back! h4y dudes

--

all of that especially goes for teens who dont know what the fuck theyre doing. im only 20 yea and barely 20 at that but man i wish id heard this sooner

and please dont take that as me saying "well if youre a lesbian sexuality is fluid and maybe youre actually bi"! hell no. if youre a lesbian and you KNOW youre and lesbian and couldnt ever be anything else then rock on you funky little lesbian! but if you id as a lesbian but are teetering on something like "well im attracted to some fictional and theoretical men but not any real ones and maybe its just compulsory heterosexuality but im not sure and--" dont be afraid to try a different label. its all what feels right to you and theres absolutely no harm

--

people bash on like. """mogai genders""" and nounself pronouns and the split attraction model and all that and like. yeah! those things can hurt people! personally i struggled with the split attraction bit combined with how broadly people define the ace spectrum. it can be used to hurt. and it is used to hurt. sometimes its deliberate, sometimes its not. but the hurt is there. but its not inherently good or bad. 

and yeah, some of it sounds silly. hell, it sounds silly to me sometimes! but to some people hearing that label makes everything click into place, even if just for a little bit, and i take that very seriously. it is one of the best feelings in the world and i want as many lgbtq people (of any age) to experience it. 

for some people it feels right to zoom waaaaaaay in and section it into lots of little bits and for others its "fuck it! i dont know shit! im just queer!" and those are both equally valid (that words been thru 12 garbage disposals but i cant think of a better one) maybe you go back n forth and thats fine too! as long as youre open to it changing or being wrong it cant hurt and, like i said, its one of the best possible feelings to have it click like that

--

as an aside: being bi can *totally* mean "im attracted to men and nonbinary people are long are they arent primarily woman-aligned" or it can mean "im attracted to everyone fuck it" personally? i use bi over pan because i feel like it better encapsulates that i *do* have preferences (i say this all the time but God I Love Men) but ultimately gender doesnt really matter to me cos everyones cute and hot and generally attractive and im not leaving anyone out because im just a little more inclined to kissing boys. but thats me!

--

as Another aside: i do still to some degree identify with uhh this is gonna sound contradictory but agender boy? or more like boy agender? boygender with left none? i just dont personally feel like its worth taking the time to explain over n over. but it used to be, for me, n i dont regret that a single bit! i wouldnt regret that even if i *didnt* still feel that way in any capacity. honestly? 

i dont regret any of the ways ive identified in the past even though feeling stuck and cornered into some got a little harmful to me (and if youve gone through somethin similar and DO regret it and wish youd never heard whatever term you used thats good too. im very strongly advocating for "use whatever labels you want and if it dont fit it dont fit" here but if they did hurt you and youre still hurting about it i understand 100% just dont use it to pull others down. if it concerns you say your piece and let them decide)

--

this is personally a little hard to admit so bear with me here 

honestly? ANY sort of strong identity didnt start developing in me until i was.... 14 or so? and very slowly at that. like gender evened out around 18 and sexuality just a few months ago LMAO. but up until i was a teenager i didnt really feel much of anything re: gender or attraction (and the attraction thing is pretty normal for kids and even teens tbqh!) 

and i just.... didnt really think about it! i had This Name and apparently was a girl and i didnt really get what it was like to BE a girl but thats what people said and i didnt know there were other options so i went with it! the name didnt bother me either (except for when people made jokes about a Certain Historical Figure with the same one. just thinking about that i get tired) 

and when it came time to actually grapple with the whole concept of being *into* people i just kinda... slunk away! no joke until like 10th grade if someone started a rumor that i was dating x or y had a crush on me i would start to avoid them entirely. lost a friend in 4th grade that way but then in hs hed turned into a TOTAL DICK so no loss there. i think part of that was also people making the assumption that i was straight though? big shrug! 

i didnt even realize attraction was a thing i had until i got asked out and just kind of "oh wow??? that sounds so nice??? i feel the same??? yes??" and thats WHY i went thru varying aro/ace labels. cos it unfolded slowly (which again is totally normal if youre a teenager, so dont worry about it if youre going thru that. roll with the punches. and if youre a teen and youve got it figured out? thats totally normal too!) 

and the gender thing was similar once i learned that it was an actual possibility (especially being nb, and ESPECIALLY especially being agender) i slowly just... poked at it until i figured something out (fun fact: what set me off to finally go "fuck it im not a girl at all" was being stuck in an awful hair salon chair while my mom got a haircut that took FOREVERRRRRRRRR and i was having godawful period cramps. like i knew not being a girl wouldnt DO anything about them but i made that decision then n there n didnt look back!) 

and then i kept pokin at it and watching it like the seed id planted finally started to sprout and i realized i didnt actually know what kind of seed it WAS. i guess ive always been very nebulous in those aspects and its just now forming into something solid. like i said, its a little hard to admit and i... dont think ive actually talked about this in this depth before to, like, anyone? 

because the "oh ive always known" narrative is the only one you ever see in popular media and sometimes even from the community itself! and theres nothing wrong with having always known! but theres also nothing wrong with being like me! but i still feel a little anxious talking about it like it somehow means im a sham. 

hell, id even go so far as to say i WAS a girl as a kid! i WAS varying shades of agender and nonbinary and ???? as a teen, and i AM, like, 95% a guy right now! maybe in a few years ill be something else. none of those things contradict each other. things like that can change! its not set in stone (but like i said: for some people it is! or, like, set in slime that you left out for 5 years so now its pretty much a rock but if you really try it still squishes into something else?? none of these things invalidate the others! were all unique). 

i wouldnt say that at any point ive been cis or straight, cos even when i just went with being a girl and stuff it was always a little ??? but, yknow. even if i HAD been those things at some point it wouldnt matter to me? things just are the way they are and were the way they were

--

im making myself really vulnerable here and my thought process is a mess and i ramble and repeat myself and my memory and attention span is like 2 seconds and i dont proofread but. its important i think. i dont have a lot of followers and fewer still thatre active but... that really doesnt matter. 

maybe someone will retweet at least one of these messy, messy threads. maybe link it to a friend. maybe screenshot it and post it on tumblr [note: LMAO YEAH AND ITS YOU DUMBASS], or to keep for themself. if any of my words help anyone out even a little then it matters and honestly? then its the most important thing in the whole danged world. if even one person sees any of the things ive said tonight and it means *anything* to them, even if just "oh, im not alone in this" then ive succeeded here. 

i dont want any of us to ever feel trapped or alone because shit! lifes too fuckin short for that! its goddamn hard being anything but cisgender and straight! sometimes it sucks! like really sucks! there have been so many times ive broken down completely over being trans and felt like, for myself, its the most awful thing in the world. its why prides so important. its why community is so important. 

because even when the pressure of the world brings you down so low you think youll never escape theres something or someone there to take your hand and pull you back up, put you on your feet, and say "i know its hard. and itll get hard again. but i believe in you, and youre strong enough for this, and im here with you through every step". that goes for anyone but especially goes for us. and im not just talking about lgbtq youth here. all of us. which is *why* im laying myself completely bare here. 

most of this stuff? ive either never talked about or only vaguely mentioned. but im putting it out there. because there was a point where i needed it but didnt have it, and even if its just one person, i want to give someone this advice so at least they dont have to deal with the same stuff i did. and if youre reading this? i love you. im here for you. im my dms are always open and if for some reason they arent its almost definitely an accident and if you say something ill reopen them. 

and if youre someone who hates me? maybe even mutually? if it came down to it id let you come to me at your lowest moment, no questions asked, no judgement held, and at the end of it still be the same kind of enemies we were before and never speak again. there are some exceptions of course but honestly ill forgive a lot for someone who needs that kind of support. and if youre one of the people this applies to, i know youll probably never take me up on it. i dont expect you to. i dont expect you to even for a second be comfortable with that idea. thats fine. but if for some reason you ever need it, its there. 

i can count on one hand the ex friends that i wouldnt give that to and thats ONLY because theyve legitimately hurt me and left lasting damage (and for some of them? its mutual. and im sorry for that, regardless of how i feel about your treatment of me im truly sorry for my actions. that probably sounds fake and anyway i digress) 

and if youre a complete stranger? someone who follows me but has never interacted with anything ive posted? a mutual i havent spoken to yet? im here. and im bumbling, and awkward, and not the best at comfort but you can always come to me if you need someone. im only one man and im under a lot of stress but i swear ill do the best i can, even if its only reading and replying 3 days later and even then just listening and offer whatever gentle comfort or reassurance youll accept. 

because thats important to me. thats the impact i want to leave on this world. i dont ever want anyone to feel as small, as scared, as worthless, as alone as i have. im no fighter. im not going to lead any revolutions and hell im too anxious to even go to protests but im here for support. im here to help and heal. and thats important too

--

and if you listened to that? thank you. if you just skimmed? thank you for that too. if you shared it with someone? thank you (so much). and if you dont? thank you anyways, just for the time

just know this: i love you. i dont care who you are, if youre reading this i love you and im behind you 100%. im here if you need it. stay strong, do something that makes you smile if only for a moment. take that leap of faith. dont restrict yourself for even a second

i meant to go to bed at least two hours ago so goodnight <3 be safe, drink some water, if you have any kind of pet give it some love. take care of yourself. youre the most important person in your own world and never forget that, even if you dont think you are. even if theres something or someone you treasure above everything else. dont diminish your own worth! you are alive, and you are here, and theres nothing more important than that, really. the things you love matter more than anything else. hold them close

[chromsai]

i didnt want to answer this using the actual ask because since the full, untagged name is there, i just know that tumblr will find a way to get it into its main tag and just out of courtesy to its fans, i don’t wanna be that person.

that said, and out of courtesy to any of my followers that like it, i’ll put my actual opinion under the cut as extra precaution because, again, i dont wanna be that rude ass person.

(long rant ahead tbh)

it’s my least favorite ygo. i mean, setting vr aside for now just to be fair since it’s still not done yet, it is without a doubt my least favorite ygo because its writing is just that piss poor. 

tl;dr: it’s a fucking mess of a show, it doesn’t appeal to me, i find it to be (ironically) superficial (in terms of themes and messages), i dont like the decks, character arcs? god they’re wasted, the writing is just a bunch of asspullery nonsense, and “foreshadowing” is actually just spoon fed self-fulfilling prophecies. it’s my least favorite show and it almost made me quit yugioh altogether. but i still don’t discourage anyone from watching it. because maybe it didnt appeal to me or click with me, but maybe it would for someone else, and i’m not afraid to admit that. because people have different tastes.

its characters overall get little to no development, what little development most of them get (like shark and ........i wanna say kaito, but i dont wanna include kaito in here because i think his development was the only one that was actually decent, but idk who else to put here since... most characters didnt actually get development? as/t/ral, i guess?) is completely ruined sooner or later when the plot decides to inevitably asspull. i will admit i did like where shark’s development was going but the fucking moment he was revealed to be na//sh is when his development went completely down the fucking shitter. oh so JUST cuz some “destiny” says you’re “destined” to fight against yu//ma you just... go with what it’s telling you? you don’t even like your own destiny or some of the people you’re working with but... like... just cuz you remembered some memories of your past life you gotta finish the mission? even tho... 1) you didn’t actually want to, 2) you can just talk this all out (seriously this plot CAN be resolved with just talking things out, the card games are notably forced up this plot’s ass), 3) wtf happened to yu//ma being your friend??? you don’t wanna fight him but you will because you must, it’s your destiny?!? what kind of fucking non-explanation is that. fygdshbjkl honestly there are so many more questions that can be asked about just na/csh’s logic for fighting ALONE and i am still left dumbfounded. the amount of utter STUPID going on in this writing is incredible, honestly that i’m left without words.

ze//al’s plot & writing is NECK DEEP in allll that kind of stupid nonsensical logic, literally i could probably go on all night asking so many questions about where the fucking common sense went while writing this show. like i have so many fucking issues with ze//al II’s writing i just don’t understand how people think of it as legitimately good? it was all drama for drama’s sake with no real consequences since everything was reversed back to normal anyway??? fuck, i have less issues with ze//al’s first season and i actually liked it better. but anyway, moving on....

the aesthetic... is ... well before vr, i would say it was horrid, but at the very least ze//al gives us colors... it’s very colorful and the animation is pretty nice, ngl... but do i care? not really. not when i didnt really like almost any of the character designs... IV, Kaito, Mi//sael, and A//lito, Du//be, Rei/Vec//tor’s designs imo are nice... the rest... “what about the other arc//ights or [insert character here]”. no, if i didnt mention them by name just now, i didnt like their design. Yu//ma’s design... it’s... it’s very generic shounen protag. he is definitely, imo, the worst design of all the ygo protags, but i don’t think he’s HORRIBLE to look at. at least not most of the time, anyway. and actually you know what, i’ve never been into alien stuff but As//ral’s pretty, i’ll give him that. i guess perhaps that’s why i didnt like the aesthetic... too... alieny for me (gross, imo....... i just... absolutely hated the Ba//ians).

the little foreshadowing it gives us from the beginning through the end is spoonfed to us, and you literally gotta be foolish to not understand what it means straightaway. not only that, some of it uses retcon as a mechanism to seem like it’s foreshadowing (that fucking door from the first episode telling Yu//ma that he’ll lose his most important thing... and then at the end it turns out it was As//ral?? did Yu//ma not have anything important to him at the time he dreamt of the door??? or like... wtf is this door a prophet or smth or is it trying to make a contract, which is it??? make up your damn mind!!)... so yeah... it doesn’t actually give us any real “foreshadowing” as much as it uses self-fulfilling prophecies...

leading us to my next ironic point: this show is superficial af. as i just said, everything is literally spoon fed to you. literally all of its themes are plainly spelled out to you and laid out on the surface, you don’t really need to actually think to to get its message, and there is certainly no point in digging deep to find richer subtext... because there is none. there literally is none. and you know what? i know this is a very subjective preference; i personally love to delve deep into the symbolic and get analytical with the stories i enjoy because my brain is just naturally curious like that... but... even with a naturally curious brain... i just... no matter how much i try... this show is all bones and no meat. there is an established foundation of a message and it’s nice but it’s... way too straightforward and, as i said, spoon fed for my liking.

if you like that kind of story-telling, that’s completely fine, i get that. we’re not all here to watch YUGIOH, of all franchise, trying to give us some deep, meaningful message. hell, that’s not even the reason why i’ve enjoyed yugioh ever. i’m here for the same appeal that everyone else is here for: teens saving the world with stupid ass card games. but i just strongly prefer when a story, ANY story, shows enormous amounts of attention to detail and hints at deeper meanings in its context that i can use my brain to work around with and delve into. ze//al doesn’t give me even a hint of this. past ygos have, but ze//al doesnt even try. it’s meant for a younger audience tho, even for ygo’s usual demographic, so i get it. but... it’s because of this that i find it so lackluster.

speaking of the card games.... this show literally... has my least favorite decks. i’m not so into the OCG/TCG that i’m an expert about it so i dont wanna delve into something idfk much about, but just... that’s my taste... this show’s decks are terrible for the most part. the card effects are all too particular and disturbingly OP (one OP card after another... it always happens and it always makes the duels a drag to watch, even if they’re just one or two episodes long at the most)... plus... aesthetically... i guess they’re not all terrible, but still none of them wowed me either...

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again... this show nearly made me give up on yugioh. my logic was “if they’re just gonna keep making ze//al after ze//al, i’m just gonna stop.” thankfully... well i think you know what happened next...

even after all that’s said and done and i’ve pretty much ranted and ripped this show a new one, I STILL DON’T WANNA DISCOURAGE ANYONE FROM WATCHING IT IF THEY REALLY WANNA TRY IT. because i know that maybe this show just wasn’t for me and it didnt click with me, but it might for someone else. i’m not here to tell you that it’s a piece of shit abomination that should never have happened and it should be whipped out of existence and you should go watch something else instead (HUR DUR GO WATCH VANGUARD INSTEAD) . i’m not here telling you what you should and shouldn’t like. if you like this show, that’s awesome. tbqh with you, i still enjoyed some of it and i’m not afraid to admit that. but overall? it was super lackluster and unimpressive, IMO. at best, i’d say it’s forgettable so for the most time i’m just like... “oh ze//al? yeah it happened i guess” and move on without a second thought and let its fans enjoy it as if its the best thing in the world even tho i personally do not see it that way at all. 

but again, i’d say watch it and make up your own opinion over it. i think that’s honestly the best course of action for any media that might even slightly interest you. don’t let people spoon feed their opinions to you. this was all MY experience of the show. go have your own.

p.s. (more of my opinion) i LOVE music and soundtracks of things. they’re always also a big factor of my enjoyment of the media i consume. the soundtrack for this show is decent at best. no track really stood out to me (like maybe one did) but for the most part... the soundtrack is just... i wouldn’t say it’s bad, it’s just... again not memorable... not my style... and my biggest gripe is that a lot of the tracks have this pseudo-grandiose feeling to it that just ultimately fall flat and don’t convey actual emotion. it mostly just seems like it’s music for music’s sake. personally, i think good soundtracks should be able to tell a story or convey an overwhelming feeling without the context of its source material being present. i... i just never got that with ze//al’s soundtrack. maybe once, as i said, but... even then i dont remember it.

on a more positive note tho... i have to admit all of the ED themes are really good (Challenge the Game was literally too good for this show, who the fuck allowed this). i’d listen to them way more often if i didnt associate them with ze//al tbh. not a huge fan of any of the OPs tho. no, not even the second OP. like it’s nice for the first few times but then, to me personally, it starts getting really grating and wangsty.

[galrakythel]

voltron s6 liveblogging

episode 1:

lance sweetpea

hunk being a diplomat is everything

sendak is making his own BOM   LMFAOOO

shes fucking pERFECT. i need her as my teacher

why woudl you keep staying on that planet if it gets so much radiation like get the fuck off that planet

that doughy face is beautiful

someone call keith because shiro needs help asap

sendak needs some chill. relax my furry king

holy shit sendak’s talking about shiro ‘your new master’s bidding.” lotor or haggar?

acxa zethrid and ezor need a vacation after dealing with this ridiculous imperial family, bless these children

hunk giving orders makes me so fucking happy

“thruster sequence”

haggar really going all out

there goes lance and allura saving each other again, love you babies

tbqh y’all need to evacuate this planet

she fucking cured herself omg she didn’t need nobody’s help for that. not zarkon, not lotor, not alfor. just her. my empress honerva yo

episode 2:

“how are you so sure?” -keith. “I pushed you out of my vag, son.” -krolia.

i love lotor, but stop using allura

lance needs a vacation too. like some good recharge time

oh my god is keith gonna get his mark here

yoooo you aint calling her mom yet?!?!?!

how y’all getting out of there now

yoooooooo this episode is brutal

she’s protecting him so much and i’m dying

yooooo this is so cliche i love it

omg krolia omg omg i love you. i love you and your hubby and your son

lance you are worthy!!!!

holy shit earth was really invaded

KEITH GAVE SHIRO HIS FATHER’S CLOTHES TO WEAR. KROLIA AND KEITH’S FATHER ARE LIKE KEITH AND SHIRO. SHEITH AND ALLURANCE ARE CONFIRMED. I DONT MAKE THE RULES!

KROLIA LOVES HER FAMILY SO FUCKING MUCH OMG

holy shit two years!!!!! so he’s basically an adult and all the discourse was for nothing lmfao

yo they got a family dog now!!!!

omg is that romelle!!!?!?!?!?!?!

episode 3:

yo i wish all rpgs were like this

coran!!!!  i love you!

shiro is playing himself. lmfao. shiro is such sweet boyfriend material. how can ppl not love him? i love him so much

i want to play monsters and mana

a blazing sword wowwwww and shiro is missing!!!! that’s some foreshadowing!!!

more foreshadowing with the twin. twin my ass, clone looking ass

legit weird foreshadowing. 

tbh that’s better teamwork than my own guild in WoW

episode 4:

they going back to daibazaal

that boy using you allura

yes hunk. this is nuts. i don’t like this idea either. 

it revealed them.... well, it’s gonna reveal that lotor is evil, right?

so he literally needed allura as a battery pack because he couldn’t get out either way

i knew there were more alteans!!!!!!!

wow lotor is harvesting ppl. i suppose he might be worse than his father?

HOLY SHIT!

he’s still trying to fucking manipulate her lmfao wowwwwww

this is a lot of clusterfucking right now

holy shittttttt 

oh damnnnnnn

episode 5:

but is it really shiro or just a clone.tell me

y’all should shoot the gate so lotor and haggar don’t do anything

acxa is really calling haggar honerva wow

honerva omfg why are you like this

yoooooooooo lotor you’re really gonna fight her

generals being flippy floppy. was acxa always on his side????

omfg he really is a clone holy shittttttttt 

this is actually really brutal. like. was he ever the real shiro?

did keith’s eyes go galra

ohhhhhh my godddddd he said I LOVE YOU

BLACK COME GET YO BOYS!!!!!!

THEY WOULD DIE FOR EACH OTHER HOLY SHIT OMG

episode 6:

"all good things” ARE YOU TELLING ME HE HAS TO LET HIM GO

HOLY SHIT OMFG HE DEAD

CAN”T YOU PUT HIS mind in that body??????????

that’s what i had said, destroy the gate.

yo lotor doesn’t even care about the empire. like he doesn’t give a fucking damn and y’all thought he did lmfao

like where the hell is the coalition. where the hell is kolivan. you sent keith to get krolia and they’ve been gone a while. keith hasn’t checked in. like go get those blades!!!!

lmfao lotor is really trying

but for real he’s acting more like zarkon everyday and he gets upset because people call him for what he is

keith baby, where you at

lotor has gone full crazy. honerva collect your son

acxa good job

holy shit lotor

acxa, zethrid, ezor. it’s now fucking time to join the coalition and stop this nonsense. y’all seriously could have just gone to allura instead of zarkon and had been treated like actually people than fucking pawns

you could have told allura what he was trying to build all along, instead you thought and you thought wrong. 

PATIENCE YIELDS FOCUS

we don’t deserve keith and shiro at all. they are princes

episode 7

“defender of all universes” welp holy shit. multiple realities?

dark voltron is fast yo

this is literally what alfor was afraid of with this other comet. that’s why he didn’t tell honerva or zarkon. they could have made another voltron or a another lion

the altean empire! omfg

yooo why do i feel like they’re gonna stumble upon some fuckin space monster

oh god lotor is gonna get corrupted

or is lotor gonna become a space monster

lotor is no longer a problem? LMFAO okay keith

they ditching the castle. i guess you gonna go to headquarters now huh

ohhhh and where the hell are the generals

oh my god is allura gonna transfer him

allura going full avatar aslasdlaskjd

OMFG SHE DID IT SHIRO IS IN THE BODY I’M GONNA DIE!!!!! 

“YOU FOUND ME”

he’s leaning on keith jfc

OMG THEY’RE GOING TO EARTH!!!!!!!!!!

[bergarass]

hey nina! who are some of ur fav bfu/worth it blogs?? im always looking for more to follow

yoooooo tessa i’m glad you asked, here are some bomb ass ppl i follow (not all of them tho, but imma have to make a blogroll for everyone soon // THIS IS BY NO MEANS A COMPREHENSIVE LIST, IT’S JUST THAT IT’S ALMOST PAST MY BEDTIME AND I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIME, LO CIENTO)

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

1. @ryansmadejs HAS THE BEST GIFS OH MY GOD WHAT GR8 COLORING!!!!!! and all around gr8 person to talk to, i love bitching abt school and EVERYTHING with carly

2. @boys-and-ghouls keanna has such fucking good fics and she’s such a nice person!!! i love talking to her abt the boys and her amazing writing

3. @raakxhyr has such cute fanart of the bois LIKE RYAN INSIDE A BANANA????? CUTE AS FUCK (amazing artist, y’all, go check out their art), and sends me asks all the time and i love talking to them!!!!

4. @bergaramadejs has been so helpful in my questions abt gifmaking resources (THANK U FRIEND!!), and their edits…. A+++++++++++++ go check them out

5. @rycnbergara has amazing edits, too, and my favorite thing that she made so far is this fanvid that….. speaks to my soul jkdkjhkjsad

WORTH IT

1. @brunchcrush i love jessie sm we’re west coast buds and i talk to her abt everything and her blog is just….. so FAB!!!!! and guess what, her standrew writing is cute as hell y’all

2. @worthjt a quality worth it blog, A1 content, love sam’s posts, sam’s url, EVERYTHING

3. @stevenfact hana has the best thought posts where she waxes rhapsodic abt the worth it bois (LIKE THIS ONE, ONE OF MY FAVORITES), AND SEEING HER POSTS ON MY DASH MAKES ME SMILE BC HER RAMBLES ARE SO CUTE AND SO RELATABLE!!!!!!!!! GOOD CONTENT I LOVE HER

4. @buzzfeedworthit a quality, good content blog, a must-follow TBQH

5. @worth-it-unsolved OH SO YOU WANTED WORTH IT AND UNSOLVED CONTENT BING BONG YOU HIT THE JACKPOT GO FOLLOW, their blog is the best of both worlds y’all (and this edit of theirs is so cute i’m luv)

6. @stcndrews and yet again, keanna is BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH A HELLA LIT BLOG!!! SHE DOESN’T JUST DO UNSOLVED, SHE DOES WORTH IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!! GO FOLLOW HER I LOVE HER SM KASJDKAHFKJDHK

it’s only 9pm, i’m delirious and half-sobbing because i want to pour all my love into this but i’m tired ok good night, and i love you all sm

AND EVERYONE, PLS FOLLOW TESSA GR8 BLOG 10/10 WOULD ALWAYS REC!!!!

[renegade-shepard-archived]

tag time!

i was tagged my @the-shifty-cow & @lilithleelynn thnx friends!

RULES: answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you are contractually obligated to know

TAGGING: @vixilancia @glowsh3p @adventure-butt @thedarwini @you-are-a-program @ta-mars-space @thatswhatshiisaid @bronzeagelove @joufancyhuh @pavustive (u guys obviously dont have to do this but id love it if u did!)

Nicknames: ryn (w/e u wanna call me rly) ive also had a shit ton of gamertags like cid & moh that ppl still call me

Gender/pronouns: he/him

Star sign: capricorn

Height: 5′ im smol

Time: 7:14pm est

Birthday: dec 24th

Favorite bands: i like a lot of bullshit from the 80s and 90s

Favorite solo artist: i honestly have no idea. i just listen to spotify on random

Song stuck in your head: i posted this on here a few days ago but its still stuck in my head not alone - matt & kim

this is rly long so the rest is under the cut if u care ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Last movie you watched?: RIPD

Last show?: i cant even remember i rarely watch shows. probably stranger things?

Why did you create your blog?: as i got older & couldnt hang out w/my gang as much it got a little lonely i guess in the sense that i was constantly surrounded by ppl w/different interests than me. &my family &best friend at the time only ever made fun of my interest in gaming. so tumblr was a nice place to go and create bonds w/ppl who shared those interests. &then a rly close friend of mine at the time that i met on here had sent me over their photoshop &taught me how to make simple gifs. ive deleted a few times and remade but ive never rly left. being able to easily join a community of ppl who all share love for something u love to is rly something special

What do you post?: videogame content mainly with a smattering of random shit i like and a sprinkle of memes

Last thing you googled?: if alistair had a last name hah

Other blogs: i used to run content specific blogs back in the day. i dont anymore yall can suffer in this fresh hell w/me

AO3: i dont have one. i dont think i could find the time to write, create content, draw &do daily life shit. & i actually dont read fanfiction ._. my ideas of characters never match anyone elses close enough so its actually anxiety inducing to read other ppls stuff. but im sure ur all great writers! (i always try to throw a like out to all my mutuals when i see their fanfiction posted on here)

Do you get asks?: lately i do. a few times a week at least. its amazing u r all amazing thank u for being so interested in sebastian &sending me all the nice tidings &everything else D: <3

How did you get the idea for your URL?: i just fucking love renegade shepards sheeeit

I follow: 202

Followers: 899

Average hours of sleep: idk like 4? insomnia blows

Lucky number: i dont have one but my favorite is 2 and idky tbqh

Instruments: i used to play the saxaphone >>

What are you wearing?: zelda pajamas &a tshirt that says the real guy the best guy

Dream job: i had always wanted to be a movie director, laywer, or therapist. right now i just wanna have a job lol

Dream trip: to the fridge

Favorite food: a hearty beef stew or any kind of marinated meat w/some plain rice. i eat like a fkn peasant

Significant other?: nah

Last book I read: probably the satanic bible? god its literally been over a decade rly. ive never been into reading.

Top 3 fictional universes: bioshock, mass effect, world of warcraft