#tbqh I’m not even sure it counts but it felt funny

[arabella-strange]

Omg the ants carrying enormous leaves up the stick — I threw my head back and cackled

[janiedean]

It really sucks how judgmental you and some people in this fandom are of anyone who doesn't interpret the text the same way as you or who you deem as intellectually inferior to you. I agree with so many of your ideas about the characters, but I hate how high and mighty you are about those ideas. Someone isn't an idiot if they interpret Jon or Cersei differently than you.

......

lmao

okay anon, thing is: one thing is being high and mighty, one thing is telling you that you’re not reading the text.

like. I read yesterday someone being like ‘omg I read someone dared saying C. abused people and murdered someone before puberty HOW STUPID CAN PEOPLE BE’. it’s textual evidence that a) she molested tyrion sexually and that’s even without taking account my opinion re lann*ncest, b) that SHE KILLED MELARA WHEN THEY WERE TWELVE THROWING THE POOR GIRL DOWN A WELL, which means that whoever said it cannot fucking read the text because it’s black on white that she did both those things and refusing to accept it is Not Reading The Text. that’s not even text interpretation, that’s basic textual reading.

now: never mind cersei who gets a pass for about every fucking shit she pulls because she’s a woman, and don’t tell me she doesn’t because if she got as much shit about robert’s fifteen bastards that she ordered dead without even blinking as theon got for two kids that he’s felt guilty about since it happened then we could discuss it but she doesn’t and that’s not even the beginning of it. now: do you see me tagging my opinions? like, honestly, if I think something shitty about cersei, do you see me tagging it? I didn’t even tag the one time I ranted about the valonqar prophecy with her, I only tagged it with the prophecy/meta/the two characters I thought were the v. and the younger and more beautiful queen, because in the middle I said that imo cersei only cares for herself and I know ppl on her tag aren’t into reading that opinion. so: I didn’t tag it. now: how many people came in my inbox informing me my opinion of c. sucked, was biased and so on never mind lann*ncest never mind actually harassing me for it? well, enough that I had to shut down anon to avoid feeling like shit for two days about it. so like, I’m so high and mighty that I keep my opinions about people I don’t like untagged even if I think that the other side can’t read. but okay.

now, about jonc: listen, fact is, there’s exactly ten people in this fandom that I know of who give a shit about jonc period and three of them are fanartists who show up once in a while. like. exactly TEN. I made peace with the fact that no one gives a fuck about jonc, I 100% embraced that if I want content I have to do it myself, fine, whatever. but what I’m really getting sick of is that every goddamned fucking time I see the jonc tag updating (as in, five times each month if it’s a good month), it’s someone informing us of how selfish, pathetic, useless and dumb he is FOR THINGS THAT ALL OF THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY DO ALL THE TIME and for which fandom at large praises them. or something about how him being in love with R is the most horribly pathetic thing that’s happened to adwd, or how he’s an idiot because he apparently hasn’t understood that aegon is fake because his eyes aren’t the same color as R’s when not even dany’s or viserys’s are, but no one says they aren’t targs for THAT now, do they? and sorry but reading that this dude would treat either rhaenys or jon snow like shit when this is canon:

Last night he'd dreamt of Stoney Sept again. Alone, with sword in hand, he ran from house to house, smashing down doors, racing up stairs, leaping from roof to roof, as his ears rang to the sound of distant bells. Deep bronze booms and silver chiming pounded through his skull, a maddening cacophony of noise that grew ever louder until it seemed as if his head would explode. Seventeen years had come and gone since the Battle of the Bells, yet the sound of bells ringing still tied a knot in his guts. 

Others might claim that the realm was lost when Prince Rhaegar fell to Robert's warhammer on the Trident, but the Battle of the Trident would never have been fought if the griffin had only slain the stag there in Stoney Sept. The bells tolled for all of us that day. For Aerys and his queen, for Elia of Dorne and her little daughter, for every true man and honest woman in the Seven Kingdoms. And for my silver prince.

now: it’s there black on white that he feels guilty for BOTH elia’s and rhaenys’s death, it’s not interpretation, it’s what is fucking written in there same as you can’t interpret that ned’s head got cut or cat’s last thought before she died was about ned loving her hair. so excuse me but I’m tired of going into a character who’s in my goddamned top ten and have to always, always run into people assuming he’s a pathetic selfish asshole (and the one time I tried to argue that there’s no way he’s *selfish*, maybe all the contrary to a pathological degree, the answer was basically ‘lol cannot hear you’ and not even a reblog but nvm that) rather than actual content because any of those people who have a obvious hateboner for jonc can’t just fucking tag it with *anti* jon connington. no, they have to use the character name and it’s never *content*, it’s just this drivel over and over again. and since I don’t do it with characters I don’t like, I’d appreciate if I could have the same courtesy spared for this asshole.

that said, the situation is that *one* single person (that I blocked but that’s apparently not enough for tumblr to spare me from seeing them on the tag) has asked that question to multiple blogs which all agree on jonc being shitty which means that it has popped up on the tag a whole lot in the last month and like....... if you don’t like that character why do you care so much, IDEK, but wow, I wrote one post, that I tagged with the character only, saying that ppl don’t bother to read his chapters (btw, one of the people who replied that he’d have been shitty to both jon and rhaenys was someone I ended up blocking because they were on the tag like ‘lololol grayscale I’m sure elia is laughing from the afterlife’ and when I told them it wasn’t funny and if they could avoid tagging that stuff I got told to fuck off but fine I guess, that was me being holier than thou I suppose...) which is true because they don’t, they only base their reading of jonc on that ONE line about elia which is a) obv. proof he’s jealous, b) way less bad than anything cersei and barristan think about her just to say two but lmao I don’t see them getting dragged for it, but everything else? what? two full chapters? do they exist? tyrion’s chapers? never knew them.

like.

anon, tbqh at this point if you wanna think I’m holier than thou just think that because while I like to think I’m not, if there is one thing I know I’m good at is text analysis (okay, last time I said I got two degrees based on text analysis I got told ‘ah okay so if she studies she’s obv. bragging so she knows nothing’ by someone whose main theory was robb stark is the unsung villain of these books but lol I mean having studied this counts for nothing, right???) and it irks me that in a fandom based on books/text analysis I have to read **meta** which is obviously made by people who haven’t read the text and then when given a counterargument ignore it. but even with that, do you see me engaging with it? nah. I can 100% assure you none of the people I would like to see out of the jonc tag actually go on the jonc tag nor follow me, so they will never know that I think their opinion is shit unless they go looking for it. and this because I might have engaged with at least two of them on the topic once - and nicely, not *judgmentally* - and no one gave a shit or reconsidered their stance, so like, excuse me if once per month I write a post on my own blog venting about how imo a character I like gets a shit treatment.

and for the love of god, anon, sorry, glad you like my opinions, but the fact that you’re coming at me assuming I am judgmental when I come from a fucking month and a half of people literally harassing me on anon over my fucking triple-tagged opinions on c/ersei and lann/incest and ignoring anything I said about how uncomfortable it was making me just because I happened to, in the most generous explanation, WRITE A META WHERE I C/P-ED CANON QUOTES WHERE C. WAS AWFUL TO J. WHEN IT CAME TO HIS DISABILITY which GRRM wrote, certainly not *me*, and it happened to get reblogged by asoiafuni, is really, really rich.

like, I tagged that shit to hell and back so people who aren’t interested in jb wouldn’t find it, I made sure to warn every time, I even tag anti-c/antijc posts so they don’t show up on mobile search in case ppl don’t have the anti tag blacklisted because I’m THAT invested into making sure other people can blacklist if they feel like it, but I can’t fucking say on my blog that I think some people in this fandom pull their meta out of their asses and haven’t even read the chapters of the character they’re supposed to discuss? like... really?

also, I’ll tell you a secret: I don’t remember 90% of what happened in dany’s adwd chapters and I don’t remember about 60% of what happened in her got-asos chapters. zero. now: do you see me meta-ing about dany and/or discuss her arc if not in extremely broad terms unless asked? no, because while I don’t particularly like her, I also don’t think it’d be fair for me to meta about her BECAUSE IF I DON’T REMEMBER HER CHAPTERS THEN I’D BE PULLING OPINIONS OUT OF MY ASS, and I don’t go judging anyone’s opinion re dany beyond the basics because mine is that her chapters are so boring I can’t even remember them. at most I’ll discuss the show version and I can swear to you that even if I’m not a fan or anything I’m still more lenient with her than about 90% of people who aren’t fans, and since I don’t pull meta out of my ass for people whose chapters I haven’t read, I would be extremely grateful of the rest of this fandom paid jon connington the same damn bloody effort, especially when he has TWO of them and hating on him that way is like... why would you, just ignore his fucking existence and let us ten ppl into him have a decent tag.

btw, the ONE time I dared say on a post that wasn’t tagged to hell and back to avoid people finding it ‘it’s kind of hypocritical that people fight themselves over bi!CHARACTER headcanons *because asoiaf doesn’t have lgbt POV CHARACTERS* when they ignore jonc exist and he actually is an lgbt pov character so maybe it’d be nice if they cared about the rep’, I got someone like WELL HE ISN’T LGBT REP ENOUGH, and on the other side I’ve had people actually giving me shit for liking him/writing him content because I’m straight so how do I dare writing a gay dude, and like, idk, since I can’t like him in peace in that sense, can the universe allow me to at least not see bullshit on the tag or is that too much to ask?

and to end this rant: anon, not to be that person, but fyi I’m hardly the person who dictates how the wind flies in this fandom unless we count maybe theon/robb fandom as a ship, my opinions aren’t nearly as popular as opinions belonging to ppl who imvho don’t read these books and that’s fine, I don’t particularly care beyond cultivating my garden as voltaire used to say and see if anyone else wants to come and see the flowers and in case they’re more than free to take some, but like...... the idea that me expressing an opinion about the fact that people in this fandom don’t use the same standards when judging characters and some haven’t read the book or forgot it and assume they know anyway is somehow being high and mighty when I also don’t tag that shit 99% of the time (with jonc I do it just because I know no one but me and ten other ppl goes on that tag) when there’s people in this fandom who outright deny what’s written black on white and actually literally harass you on anon for it when I can 100% swear to you that the only times I’ve gone on anon in my entire life were for a) memes that required being on anon, b) sending people headcanon requests, c) sending people I ALREADY KNEW and who KNEW IT WAS ME personal things that I didn’t want ppl to attach to me because I don’t owe 100% of my life history to tumblr dot com and I always put my face to my opinions.

like, glad you like my opinions, but honestly, if you think this is me being judgmental, fair enough but maybe I’m also tired of having to read stuff that’s based on not having fucking read the book.

thank you.

[deepdickdaniel]

Ong Seongwu | Comedian

prompt: request - you’re a theatre major cursed with ong as a classmate - safe to say that you don’t like him and his annoying desire to be funny all the time. as fate would have it, you get paired with him for a project and discover that he’s more than just a comedian.  

note: this one is dedicated to my good friend @mingmingexpress who requested it and is complete ong trash - finally, i’ve somewhat fulfilled your thirst

you were just living your best life as a theatre major - you were determined to get your degree with as few obstacles as possible

overall, you really liked what you did, your classmates, and the classes you took since you felt like they really helped hone your acting abilities

this all changed when your junior year of college came around

you walked into one of your theatre major requirements to see a bunch of classmates surrounding a guy sitting on a desk

he was just doing silly gestures, tucking his ears in, and making cringey faces but the crowd loved him

a few seconds later, you found out his name was ong seongwu when a girl screeched it and pretended to be annoyed at how corny his joke was even though she was giggling...but that was none of your business *sips tea*

you already didn’t like the guy and this feeling would only intensify

almost every class, you would have to make yourself refocus on the lecture because you’d get distracted by a funny story of his (he didn’t know how to whisper) or the loud laughter that followed after his jokes

tbqh, you just thought he was an idiot who only knew how to fool around

one day, ong was making his usual jokes during class 

and while you would usually be annoyed and not say anything, you had a particularly rough morning 

this was thanks to your guitar major neighbor who was practicing his midterm piece all night long (cough we know who this is cough)

therefore, you were already pissed at your lack of sleep and ong wasn’t making it any better

so you went up to his desk and said his name harshly, making him look up curiously, a smile still on his face at the thought of being able to make you laugh 

“can you please shut the hell up? you aren’t even funny! some of us actually take our major seriously!” 

his smile wiped off right away and he nodded weakly 

you saw that a few of the girls around him were about to give you some attitude but you couldn’t care less

you just huffed and walked back to your seat, ignoring the whispers

but you also didn’t see the change in his mood

later on that day, daniel the dance major approached you in the hallways 

you had seen him around a couple times and he was in your basics of performing arts class a semester ago but you weren’t close

which was why you were surprised that he looked so conflicted while walking up to you

“hey, I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but could you be a little nicer to seongwu?”

“excuse me?”

“i heard what happened in your class”

“what, is he snitching on me now?”

“what? no, i just noticed that he’s in a really down mood and i found out why from one of our friends”

“is he gonna send his fangirls to tell me off or something?”

“listen, i know that he comes off as arrogant and obnoxious sometimes, but i promise that’s not how he really is. you’d see that he’s a great guy if you just gave him a chance”

“i’ll have to see that for myself”

you walked off, knowing you would never actually try to find out for yourself

annnnnd you wouldn’t ever have to because the universe did it for you

for your next class, your professor put you into pairs for the final project to give you enough time to prepare with your partner

as fate would have it, ong’s name was called right after yours

you sat stiffly in your seat as the class grew quiet, remembering what had happened last time

ong decided to be the bigger person and walked to you with a small smile

“hey there partner”

“...”

he sighed and tried again,

“can i have your number or email so we can stay in contact to write the script for our final project?”

you still refused to speak, watching him with a wary expression

“i know you aren’t my biggest fan, but this project counts for 45% of our grade and i’m sure you care about your grade”

“are you going to make me do all the work?”

he was speechless, shaking his head and looking offended

“do you really think i don’t try?”

you just shrugged, “i just don’t really know how you got this far in the first place”

ong’s eyebrows furrowed; he closed his eyes and when they opened back up, they contained a certain spark

he turned to look at you like you hadn’t just attacked everything he’s worked for

“okay, i’ll prove it to you. just work with me like you’d work with anyone else and you’ll see that i do care about my major”

tbh you were impressed with how he was taking your insults and pessimism, but you wouldn’t let him know it

“mhmm, we’ll see”

“and i’ll even get to hear that cute little laugh eventually because i’ll do my best to hit your sense of humor!”

you couldn’t help but blush, coughing to hide your sudden nervousness at his words

he insisted on meeting with you at least four times a week to write out a script that would hit both your acting strengths

but there was a lot of conflict in the first few meetings

he wanted to take a comedic route and suggested that you guys act out a cute little skit

you, on the other hand, wanted to go full on angst

knowing the two of you weren’t getting anywhere and that you still weren’t really comfortable with him, seongwu suggested that you compromise

“okay, i know this will sound kind of cliche, but let’s do an angsty love story that won’t involve one of us killing ourselves”

you didn’t miss the look he gave you - shade was being thrown

but you agreed nevertheless, especially when he commented on your strength in acting like you had to hide your emotions

“could it be because that’s what you’re like in real life?”

damn, he got you there

anyway, once the two of you finally agreed on a premise, writing the script alongside ong surprisingly felt natural

he always took your ideas into consideration and whenever he had suggestions, they were actually great and made a lot of sense

you didn’t want to admit it but you were really starting to respect his work and even admire his personality a bit

it didn’t help that you got to see how attractive he was more and more with every rehearsal

your performance’s plot revolved around your character asking ong’s to break up because you’ve been hanging around the wrong crowd and you believed ong deserved better

but ong’s character refused to let you go and the way he pulled off the role really made you feel like the two of you were actually in a relationship

all of his facial expressions were so genuine: the furrowing of his eyebrows, the shine in his eyes that revealed he was about to cry at the thought of losing you, the locked jaw that showed conflict in case he was preventing you from doing what you wanted

the lines he wrote for his part also stuck with you, as they made you feel like he would follow you to the ends of the earth

by the second to last rehearsal, you knew you had fallen, but you didn’t want to risk messing up the performance in the case of you confessing to him and getting rejected

for your last rehearsal, you became a little quieter, the reality of not having one on one time with ong after this finally hitting you

he noticed and tried to comfort you, joking around as always

and finally, you laughed

he was honestly so surprised that he forgot to unfold his other ear, simply staring at you in awe because of how cute your laugh is and trying not to blush

you really wanted to confess then and there, but again, you wouldn’t risk your final performance, so your last rehearsal ended professionally

on the day of your final project’s performance, you saw ong briefly before class began and decided to thank him for a great partnership

“no matter what our grade is...thank you for being a good partner. you’ve proved me wrong once and for all”

he didn’t have a chance to reply because class began and the first duo went up

you guys went last and he gave you a comforting smile before closing his eyes and getting into his role, allowing you to do the same

“i don’t think we should be together anymore. you know the reputation of my new friend group and you know what i’m becoming. you shouldn’t be seen around me anymore. it’ll ruin your chances at a good life and you deserve better than a burden”

he breathed in sharply, as if your words physically hurt him, and stared at you with intense, emotional eyes

“you think you’re a burden? after all the happiness you’ve brought to my life, you think you’re going to ruin me? you made me. all of the motivation that led me to my opportunities, all of that stemmed from you. you are nothing but good for me and i...i wouldn’t be anything without you in my life”

you fulfilled your role’s duties, remaining silent while staring at him with teary eyes

a final hug was supposed to be the end of your performance, but you were surprised to see ong improvising

he grabbed your hand softly, as if afraid that you’d run away if his grip was any tighter, and pulled you to him gently

he wrapped a hand behind your head and brought you in for a hug - your arms came naturally around him

“i will always love you, even if you feel like you aren’t deserving of it. you will always have my heart”

a few tears slipped out at the sheer intensity of his words and you stayed quiet, only realizing that you were performing when you heard the loud applause of your professor and classmates

the two of you pulled away and you noticed ong wiping a few tears of his own, but before you could say anything, he grabbed your hand and pulled you down for a bow as the class gave you a standing ovation

“thank you, thank you!”

he quickly regained his positive mood, smiling at the adoring faces of your classmates

his beautiful smile then made you know what you had to do

after the class started piling out, you shyly grabbed onto ong’s sleeve to pull him away from a few friends

“can you stay for a bit?”

he raised an eyebrow but nodded nevertheless, waving away his friends and allowing the rest of the class to leave before asking what was wrong

finally, the classroom was empty and you breathed in and out

“it’s funny to think that a few months ago, i yelled at you in this very room”

he laughed and nodded, but his smile seemed a little pained

“i know, you must have hated me”

“i wasn’t your biggest fan, but that’s changed now”

his eyes widened and he was biting his lip, urging you to continue

“you proved me wrong - you’re an amazing actor and you work hard. you’re respectable and still have the ability to make people laugh. i’m sorry i judged you so harshly”

he smiled, “you’re forgiven! i see you’ve developed an admiration for me”

this was your chance: “i’ve developed a lot more than that”

he went speechless and you confessed everything you felt for him, all of the adoration he made you feel

at the end of your confession, you could’ve sworn he was blushing and smiling shyly before his teasing grin came back

“wow, i won over the hardest person AND got a relationship out of it”

“?!?! excuse me?!?!”

“let’s date. this might be the end of our script, but this is the start of our story”

[undercovermcdfan]

title: seven minutes

prompt: seven minutes in heaven, college au

a/n: I’m screaming. This is a good prompt. Lmfao. Based off this ask @crybabytime gotten a week or so ago?

warning(s): kisses, fluff and travis is done w/ vylad tbqh

.

.

.

.

If he had to describe himself, it would be careful.

He didn’t have the aloofness of Zane or the charisma of Garroth, a weird in between both and to some, this was a boring option but to Vylad, it was safe. He preferred being safe.

“Well, the next game is about to start, so join us,” Laurance grinned, pointing a thumb at the circle gathering, “You been so lonely over here—even Katelyn’s joining us.”

Vylad paused, looking from the group back to Laurance as his heart quietly fluttered; as perceptive as Laurance always claimed to be, his obliviousness always wanted to make Vylad want to chuckle. Downing his cup of soda, he nodded and replied with a shrug, “I guess I could.”

He never was an adventurous teen in high school—nor an adventurous adult. Party games often seemed the sort of fun that invited heavy drinking, odd rules and funny memories to recount in the morning through recorded videos and posted pictures to regret in the morning. And if anybody else offered him to join, he would’ve naturally turned them down because party games weren’t his things.

But Laurance wasn’t anybody in Vylad’s book.

He settled beside Laurance, who smiled before launching into explaining their next game: seven minutes in heaven.

Naturally, this caused mixed reactions; some cheered, some rolled their eyes, and some took a swig of their drink, whining how they much rather Truth or Dare or Special Shots. Laurance silenced them with a hand wave. “Anyways, since I finally convinced Vylad to join us, I think he should have first honors.”

Vylad steeled his nerves from flinching as everybody’s gazes suddenly turned to him and he gave a nonchalant shrug with a quiet, “Sure.”

The bottle spun, and only did he realize how long were seven minutes would, did the bottle tip pointed at the one person spending those minutes with would be especially slow.

Laurance clapped his hands, getting up to his feet before offering a hand to Vylad, who now felt immensely shy, took. In the corner of his eyes, he could see Kawaii-chan’s eyes light up before turning to Aphmau; she must’ve seen his distressed look and by the gleeful smile she wore, taking joy in his suffering.

Oh, it’s dark too? Vylad thought, watching the door close and on the other side, Lucinda said “Starting the timer now!”  in a sing-song voice. He pressed his back against one side, Laurance sat across the other and soon silence settling in between them as the third.

A moment passes.

Then two.

Then three.

“So…” Laurance begun, Vylad could hear the struggle in his voice, wanting to break this silence.

It took another moment before he spoke again. “How’s photography? I saw you won that contest the university hosted—congrats, ha-ha.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you still keeping up with French? I was planning on taking it this semester but it ended up conflicting with my major, so I had to drop it.”

“It’s fine. Professor Nadia teaches this semester too.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

Even in the darkness, Vylad suddenly felt as if he was fifteen again and couldn’t muster the strength to look in other’s direction. The conversation was stiffed and stilt, he knew it was—but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know the science behind it and ten minutes ago, he could hold small talk and not having his tongue tied like this, but now being near, alone with him, and Vylad was robbed all ability to speak properly.

Maybe I should just kiss him and get this out of my system. The thought startled him but… it wasn’t a bad one. At least, if he kissed Laurance, it would get one thing out of the way even though the crush properly rooted itself deeply now. Just a small one. Nothing too serious. I’ll back off if he doesn’t like it.

“A minute left!”

Now or never.

Vylad took in a deep breath. “Um,” he started, and he could feel other’s gaze upon him, “Sorry. This is my first time… doing something like this.”

“Huh? No, nah, don’t worry about it,” Laurance piped up, “You always been the quiet sort, so it isn’t a big deal. I’m sorry if this all is a little uncomfortable for you.”

“It isn’t,” Vylad shifted a little, sitting up now, “I was just a little nervous.”

There’s a pause. “…Why are you nervous?”

“Because what usually goes on in games like these,” he’s on his knees now, it’s not a long distance to cross in this small closest; he places a hand on Laurance’s knee, and he could make out the outline of his face, his hair, “Kissing. Other stuff. I was hoping…”

“Vylad?” Laurance softly questioned.

Laurance didn’t stop him. Whether stunned or something else, Vylad took his chance as the others outside started to count down. And frankly, he could confirm two things: 1) he spent a year and half pining after Laurance, and he can cross this off as one of his fantasies because yes Laurance’s lips are as nice as they look; 2) is it healthy for a heart to race this fast?

A hand rest on the small of his back and Vylad felt him kiss back, other hand gripping his hoodie while Vylad’s pushes back his bangs, cradling his face. The kiss deepens, but only for a moment because the door rattles, the knob turning.

The collected gasp of Lucinda and others, as six pairs of eyes focus on them. Laurance looked at him dazed while he glanced at the grinning or surprised faces—well this wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. He quickly untangled himself from Laurance, awkwardly stepping out of the closest with his head low.

He mumbled something about forgetting an assignment due. He remembered Lucinda calling out that it’s a Saturday, followed by “Wa- Wait, Vylad.”

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.

.

.

Of course, Travis didn’t let him live with his embarrassment. The moment he stepped in that morning after crashing at Katelyn’s, he looked Vylad up and down, a cat-like grin forming on his face.

“Dude.”

“Don’t.”

“Duuuude.” Vylad wanted to groan, to toss his pillow at the white-haired roommate and tell him to leave his presence. But Vylad didn’t and Travis took up beside him, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“So, you and Laurance— ““There isn’t.” “Oh, yes there is; have you checked your messages? Laurance been trying contact, we all were.” Travis laughed, “I had to convince him not to run after you when you left.”

Vylad looked up from his cereal. “I… see…”

“You should talk to him.”

“And why?”

Travis paused, looking incredulous as he grabbed and puts Vylad’s late breakfast on the coffee table. “Because Laurance, the only guy you ever been into so far while on university, wants to see you again. Because you kissed him last night and he wants to properly talk about said kiss. Because he literally had a break down over what you wanting to kiss him, since… you know…”

Vylad stared blankly at him.

“Are you really that dense?”

“I feel like if I answer that, either way you’re going to tell me I am.”

Travis whispered, “You really don’t… know…”  

“I feel like I’m missing something,” Vylad reached for his phone, wincing at the number of messages left—voicemails, texts, dms, from various people. He opened his voicemails first, one from Travis, one from Laurance, and two from Kawaii-chan.

“Oh boy,” Travis laughed, “Oh boy, oh boy.”

Vylad glanced at him suspiciously, clicking on Laurance’s.

“Hey. Um. Hey, this is Laurance.” There’s a pause, a shaky sigh and Vylad frowned. “Everybody’s telling me I should give you some space and I should. But, uh, I wanted to tell you I liked the kiss? Is that weird to say?” Travis coughed, biting back his laugh. Vylad shot him a glare. “I like you. Like for a while, since that French project we did together. Just wanted you to know. Call me back whenever. Or don’t, if you don’t want to? I don’t know. Um. Bye.”

Vylad paused. He stared at the phone in his hand, clicking out of the voice messages.

“I think I need to make a phone call.”

Travis grabbed the remote, rolling his eyes, “He’s at Lucinda and Cadenza’s place.”

“I’m going to Cadenza’s then.”

“See you, dude,” Travis grabbed the cereal box, and through his mouthful, said, “You can thank me later.”

[00001100x-blog]

8:05 AM; 6915

To my senPAI # 0, My one and only.

Before you start reading this, I would like to tell you that my head is 99.9% full of you so this thing probably won’t go as sane as I planned it to be (Okay, fine. I didn’t really have a plan buT I PLANNED IT TO BE SANE OKAY-). The other 0.1% is probably about me not being able to finish it since you know—I never really did finish a letter. (Okay maybe I did but that wasn’t counted okay. unu)

If you don’t notice, I’m a little bit of a neat freak. I want everything organized. From the font size to how it will be bolded or whatever. Please don’t mind it. I just—I just am reaaallly organized when it comes to details. Heh. (And for some reason I feel so gay doing it.)

This letter is going to be soooo fucked up. I just write whatever I think about so most likely, the thoughts would be mixed and messed up. I’ll try to fix it up and make it look as decent as I can, okay? ouo

oKAY ANYWAYS,

I’m sure I would feel a little regret sending this because 1- #manlinessgoneonceagain and 2- I really think I shouldn’t let you die down in a pool of embarrassment and cringey-ness because you may not be able to breathe or something. Actually, even if I find your embarrassment cute, I just end up worrying a lot because who knows if you suddenly do a weird thing because of it and get yourself hurt (Please don’t fall on whatever or wherever you’re rolling at, okay-). /shot just bcs/

But yeah. For now, I’m gonna accept my unmanliness and write you something again just because I had the need to. I don’t really think I would like to hand this to you as soon as I finish it because after writing it, I’m sure I would ask myself this: “Why the hell did I write this gay again?” and sob + laugh at myself after thinking about it for quite some time.

Since you told me what happens when you get embarrassed, I think I should tell you my little um… habit whenever I think of something. Something most likely evil to you, that is. I actually tend to laugh at my own idea. I once laughed so hard I choked on my own spit and end up coughing for quite a time. You can laugh at me—I’m not stopping you because actually, thinking about it, it’s really a pretty funny sight.

It wasn’t entirely Soojung that persuaded me to go here. As far as I could remember, Jessica did too—and actually, I really didn’t plan on joining Sbliss. I wasn’t really convinced with their promotion /sHOT TWICE/, okay- I was actually really busy with daebak that moment, being admin and all + I was also busy with sch—Not really.

Soojung once even had to show me your selcas and stuff because she really thinks I breathe Amber + Maybe it would make me join sbliss for once. (Which in fact was that I live Sullism that time.) I admit though, I did say I wanted to marry you twice. Oh my god- Why am I even telling you this? skjdfhaksdf

But there was a point where I really wanted to take a break from daebak so yes, that’s how I ended up joining Sbliss.

I actually don’t know what came into me when I started liking your stuff. It just felt so right. I was like… “Oh wow, this person looks easy to bully let me spam her then later on I’ll spam the others too but that’s later on hehehehe. /lIKES EVERYTHING” That time, I didn’t notice I was liking your stuff hours straight already and wow, I did forget to eat because I found spamming you so fun. Truth be said though, I do spam when I don’t have anything important to do.

Okay- I’ll tell you a secret, though.

I really didn’t want to have a relationship with anyone nor did I want to enter SBliss because of you from the start. I mean- No. I really didn’t have such thoughts because I just wanted to be friends with people and talk and socialize and you know—

That was when I entered SBliss, at least.

bUT NOPE NOPE nO I WAS TOTALLY WRONG.

And by totally, I mean totally. A really huge avalanche of “wrong”.

That thought was a huge mistake because slowly,

Slowly I start thinking more and more about you.

And goddammit, I didn’t know if that was right or wrong.

I really just wanted to bully and squish you that time. Wha- What happened?

It actually felt like the world was fLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN.

But yes, of course I told nobody because I’m the secretive person I am—Not even Jessica knew about it.

Though it was a given that they reALLY think I came here for you.

You know, there would be times that I really wanted to think of something else but then you just come up my mind and won’t get off of it. I don’t know how I survived that time trying to deny whatever things I feel for you because I really saw you as one of my first friends in here even if you’re quite evil and won’t believe my innocence. (It still does exist but I think it just never appeared before you. unu)

bUT DAMN, You were so fun to be with and I just really forget the time when I’m with you. The cuteness is a bonus, though.

Now I kind of regret typing that out- Ew I’m so embarrassed of myself.

What else should I say—

Hm. I don’t know hehehe. /shot/

oKAY OKAY

I know some of what I say and did might have scared you a lot. I’m really sorry about that, okay? I know I could be one hell of a jerk and I really didn’t mean to be like that. It’s just that… I just—I just say and do these things without even thinking about it first. That was very immature of me. Don’t get too mad at me for that, hmm?

I try very hard not to upset you or piss you off or anything but I still end up doing it. But really- I try my best(est) not to okay- rEALLYYYY. I promise. I really try my best not to upset you in anyways. Actually, I am really very careful of my words. (ok, not all the time, though.)

Also, it doesn’t mean that I kind of bully you and compliment you a lot means that I’m actually going against you, okay? Actually, when I do it, it just means that I really think you’re cute or maybe that I really appreciate your cuteness. eue

Serious, though. Even if you’re scary, you’re still the cutest to me.

You’re never a handful to me, okay? Don’t think that you are. Though you may get really angry, jealous or pissed off for some reason, I never thought of you being a handful. Wow. Why am I so understanding? I’m so nice. Ew. I shall get mad one day. /nods/

If ever I decide on not being to nice. Hahaha

I wasn’t really this nice before-

oKAY OKAY FINE I WAS ALWAYS THIS NICE.

… Half of the time, that is- eue

10:36 AM

–

11:39 AM

So because I don’t really have anything in mind, I thought I should stop for a while and just—roll around and keep talking to you while watching a drama I never paid attention to. (I basically just skip on the cringe-y parts and send you messages as it plays. /sHOT HARD/)

LeT ME CONTINUE WITH MY STUFF–

Actually, I tend to really look down at myself and tell everyone that I’m the worse.

I mean—I really think that I am bad at mostly everything.

Actually there was this time where I think I really can’t catch up to your standards and that I forget everything easily and that I fail.

I feel that even my typos are really unacceptable tbqh

But yeah,

I’m starting to think it’s okay because you don’t mind it.

Because you don’t mind my weirdness and fails even though most of the time I’m pretty much the definition for weird and failure.

You still do make fun of them but yeah-

At times I don’t think I’m actually boyfriend-y enough. (If ever that term exists.) I actually don’t think I treat you the best I could so everyday, I try my best to be better (But most likely, I still end up being the weirdo I am). I try my best to be a little more oppa- like to but yeah. I guess being an oppa type of guy isn’t my style. Maybe I’m really created to be a little kid forever and ever and eveRRRRRRR. I feel bad about that because I think that maybe you think that you should look after me, not the other way around.

I’m sorry I have some weird insecurities—I know you never heard about them at all. eW. I feel like a gay saying this all to you right now but meh.

Wow. This letter is getting long. I haven’t even gone to the best part yet—

So yes.

What else should I say-

Yes, so I don’t think I have told you this but I really appreciate each and everything you do to/for me. I know you try your best to endure all the praising and the bullying I’ve done. All your efforts, every little thing you tell me. I appreciate it, okay? Okay.

Wow I don’t know what to say now-

Oh yes-

So I am really pretty disturbed whenever I wake up at a weird hour in the morning and want to badly talk to you. I mean- I wouldn’t want to wake up and disturb you since you’re a really light sleeper and I don’t really want to ruin your sleep much more.

(The thunder’s pretty much distracting me. It’s getting louder and louder and yeah- It’s distracting. Followed by heavy rains- Wow this reminds me of you so much I–)

There are actually times where I badly wanted to tell you nonsense at 2AM and there are also times where I really don’t wanna go and leave you even if I badly needed to—this is why I don’t wanna sleep even if I really am so sleepy. Wow what even why am I telling you this—

1:12 PM

–

3:06 PM

I actually wonder why I keep on telling myself “Oh. Here’s the romantic part, Here’s the romantic part.” When I actually haven’t even written something romantic- This is the fourth page already and I still don’t get to write you the romantic part. I’m trying my very best of thinking something romantic right now-

So for now, let me repeat the things I keep on telling you.

Again, please forgive me for my endless praises and compliments okay? I just do really think you’re cute.

No.

You’re beautiful. As you said, it’s what the inside that counts. It’s your words okay- I don’t think you will doubt your doctor- ness, right? eue

And though it doesn’t look like it, you are really so innocent. Just like a little kid. A little girl, to be exact. I don’t think I could see someone else as pure and cute and innocent as you are when you talk about the things you like. When you talk about animals, candies, stuffed toys and really cute stuff.

I don’t think I would find someone as cute as you when you suddenly do those ridiculously cute random things when you can’t say anything anymore.

iDK y R U LIKE DIS U TORTURE

But yes ok- No matter how much of a mental torture you are because of your cuteness, I still love you.

I wanted to write every single thing I adore about you but I’m afraid that you’re going to either be weirded out or get too embarrassed so I guess I shall not enumerate each one of them. Besides, I think you would get too lazy reading in the middle of it and fall asleep. Four pages is already quite long, What else if it becomes ten, right?

I don’t want to be the next John Green alright so I’d just stop right here and carry on with this letter. My goal right now is not to end up writing you a novel- like letter even though I’m sure it already is one.

oKAY OKAY

What to say again—

Actually I have a lot of things I wanted to tell you right now but wow, now I’m writing it, it went: “Poof. All gone hehehe good luck Eric, try to remember us all. eue”

Wow so my brain is pretty much going against me- I actually an trying to remember whatever I wanted to tell you but i don’t remember them anymore I’m wtf at myself ene.

I guess my brain really gives me a hard time whenever I try making you a letter because this just keeps on happening to me. I guess I’m lucky enough to reach the fourth page without any hardships. My mind being a bitch plus you being super cute though—I don’t think that this will really result well. My mind is starting to create chaos and I don’t think I would be able to remember what I wanted to tell you since earlier-

5:15 PM

–

7:30 PM

I’m sure I won’t be able to keep the fact that I wrote something for you as I showed you a peek already—A peek of how much of a long and boring letter I made you. This time, I hope that I will end up with a big smile and an accomplishment. An accomplishment that I, Eric the PeaNam, wrote my one and only legit senpai, Amber Liu a more than 2,000 word letter. Awesome.

I think if I wait till the twelfth, this will be long enough as a chapter or two. I guess I shall send this to you as soon as I finish.

And I shall finish it immediately- As fast as I could so I wouldn’t be able to drag it any longer because the longer it stays with me, the more chances I’d be adding a lot of unnecessary things. – Like what I’m saying right now.

I wanted to end this letter with really, really sweet words- God. I don’t think this letter is romantic eveN ONE BIT. Dammit, I wanted it to be sweeter than sugar.

But anyways, I think it didn’t get to the pont. It is a little off. I’m sorry about that. As I said, I really haven’t really written anything legit in a long time. I actually think that more than half of what I wrote is pure crap. I think I keep on repeating my words as well. I do this to most of my letter for some reason- I just keep on going round and round till I think I’ve said enough.

Okay, All I really wanted to say here is that I love you, okay?

I love you, I love you, I love you so much. Very much.

And I’ll do my best to be more and more better each day and make sure I never step off of my spot and continue holding your heart. I’ll make sure to get arrested as well. Because I know and I am sure I have at least to pay back for stealing your heart, right? Heh.

Just make sure to stay by my side because without you I feel so cold. (Geddit, geddit? ouo)

I guess I’d have to end my letter this way- I’m sure I haven’t told you everything in my mind right now but I’m sure that each and every one of my thoughts screams I love you on max volume—Probably even louder than that if possible.

9:09 PM.

By Eric Nam. 6915.

Total words: 2,699 (Time and emoticons included)

Pages: 5(portrait)/ 4 (landsacpe)