#tbh this started out very differently.... & now i dont even know what this is

[kameyyy]

#recs

this didn’t fit anymore lmao😭

try again

part 0.11. HERE TO STAY

“on the other side of the wall, she’s listening to her client with a smile on her face. she’s a professional; she’s been trained to multitask and take notes while still listening and providing feedback to her clients. right now, she’s clicking off a tab back to the one filled with bullet points on things her client has said. she always knows when he arrives. she hears the left door open, which she knows because it squeaks more than the one on the right. he always uses the left door (she thinks it has something to do with the fact that more people touch the handle of the right door on their way in) and his paces are always steady down the creaky hallway. her last sign that he's here is the chair he sits in every time, the one right next to the door into her rooms. the legs are the slightest bit uneven and the back of the chair will lightly tap against the wall as its way of letting her know of her welcome guest. she already has her queue of songs up. she’s always hated her thin walls until he started coming in. a lot has changed in her life since he's come back, hasn't it?"

content warnings: the big finale which isn't that dramatic! i'm sorry for my bad writing! y/n dad reveal! breaking news: her dad is an asshole! tad bit of violence, one mention of blood and also just cursing and abusive fathers </3

he insists on paying and she doesn’t argue with him about it for long; she’ll have countless more opportunities to steal the check from him, she hopes.

she feels better when she's finally eaten after a day of nervous nausea and time spent anxiously bouncing her knee. on top of that, she’d been with him for the majority of the day, distracting her from what had happened in the morning. he even listened to her issues, and she’s finally starting to believe the promise that he’s here to stay. 

they’ve just stepped off the train, and her apartment building is only a few minutes away. he walks alongside her the entire time, their arms brushing each other ever so often. whether it’s on purpose or not, neither of them will fess up.

he’s only distracted from his time spent mindlessly reaching his arm out just the slightest bit more to hit hers ever so often when he feels a buzz in his pocket. he slips out his phone quickly to check its screen:

akaashi’s a moment too late, because they’ve just made it up the stairs to her floor.

she’s already seen him, and he’s already seen her.

she wants to puke. 

he’s there, arguing with iwaizumi outside their door. his sunken eyes and gaunt face make her stomach twist with guilt, but a brush from omi’s knuckles reminds her where she is again. it’s not her job to take care of him. it never was, and it never will be.

"you," the man is pointing a finger towards her, stumbling forward and she immediately shrinks back like a shriveling flower, losing her confidence. omi's already standing in front of her without even thinking about it, putting a barrier between the two.

the old man keeps talking as if he can see right through him, though “you’re a disrespectful worthless piece of shit, you know that? can’t ever in your life put even a single person about yourself. here you are living with a bunch of boys. what are you, a whore? do you suck them off so they’ll keep the bad guys away? they’re doing a shit job at it. i’m standing here after, all, aren’t i?”

“it’s not like that,” her voice is quiet and weak, and she’s not even sure it makes it to the man’s ears.

“you can’t think about anyone else. you're too selfish. you won’t even answer your own father’s calls much less say anything to him at all–”

“i told you to back off!” her voice comes out loud this time, louder than she means for it to, “i’ve told you to back off so many times but you just don’t listen,” she steps out from behind omi, standing next to him instead while the man in front of them stops at the sound of her voice, “these are my roommates and my closest friends. i'm living with them because they genuinely care about me and aren't using me for any purpose, something you can't even dream about. the only reason you’re still standing here is that they have enough self-control and respect for me that they won't beat up the man i regrettably call my father.”

omi’s gaze slides over to hers, trying to see if she’ll meet his eyes. he’s simultaneously trying to communicate how proud of her he is and let her know that he'll support her no matter what happens. 

“take that back,” her father spits, starting to curl his fingers into a fist. she stays silent, and his face begins to flush an angry red. “you’re only proving my point. you’re just an ungreatful little girl who thinks she no longer has to care about anyone else because she's older. i took care of you your whole life and i will not have you ignoring me for the rest of my fucking life!” the smell of beer invades her senses as he steps closer.

“you did jackshit in my life! you never helped me with anything I asked you to. never bought me anything i needed, you've never cared about me. i’ve grown up and moved out. i can do whatever i damn please and i told you to leave me alone. maybe if you respected me i wouldn't ignore you, but that's impossible for you,” she retorts, standing her ground.

“don’t you fucking talk to me like that–” he nears her, only a few steps between them and she starts to feel the panic in her chest, “your stubbornness is the reason your mother left–”

“my stubbornness?” she can’t help but fight back. that’s what separates her from her past self. her younger self ran away, left home as soon as she could to live on her own, but now she’s grown into who she is today, and she won’t let him ruin that. “you treated your wife like shit and refused to change no matter how many times she screamed and argued with you right in front of me about how horrible you were. you've never fixed anything because you’re so stuck up and think you’re so high and mighty that she decided to pack up her bags and leave–”

“then why did she leave you behind too?” 

it’s like her heart stops beating for a second. her blood runs cold before her vision is a blur and the face of the man is crushed right in front of her, sending him to the ground groaning. his hand is covering his nose, preventing her from seeing how badly damaged it is, but she can’t find it in her to care.

“don’t blame her for your faults. grow up and take responsibility for your shit. she deserved better than either of you,” omi is talking down on the man now, and she looks up from her father’s body to the fist of the boy beside her, bruised and a little red.

he’s been by her side since day one, and maybe he disappeared for a section of it, but now he’s back. they're back together, and she stands proudly beside him, “she left me too, but i can’t be mad at her for being sick of you. or us. whatever it is, you’re both selfish and her absence nor yours is something i’m mourning over. i’m happy to have left you too and for the last time, i never want to see you again”

iwaizumi has joined them, standing above the man, no trace of sympathy in his eyes despite the blood that's streaking down her father's face. he tries to get up, only for iwaizumi to keep him down on the ground with a foot on his shoulder, “you heard her. don’t ever show your fucking face around here again. i’ll kill you the moment i lay eyes on you.” iwaizumi’s olive eyes move from the ground to meet hers, slightly softening when he sees her, “are you done with him? i’ll make sure he gets out of here and stays away for good.”

omi’s words from the diner rush back to her head, and she doesn’t feel so bad for relying on her friend. she believes he's willing to help her, and she won’t let her father’s words get to her head. she’s cared for others, unlike him, and developed relationships that she’s earned by giving out her own love. “yeah, i’m done,” her voice is quiet again as she keeps looking at her friend, searching his eyes for any sort of annoyance. but she can’t find any, and she smiles, walking towards him, wrapping her arms around him. “thank you, iwaizumi.”

he has an arm around her shoulders, his foot still resting on her father. “always,” he replies simply before she leaves him embrace, gesturing for omi to follow her. “i’m going to take care of his fist, now.”

iwaizumi only nods, turning his attention back to the man on the ground omi following his gaze as he passes by. iwaizumi will do more than a good enough job at keeping his word, he knows that, but he feels like he should have some part in taking care of the man whose plagued the girl in front of him for her entire life.

but she hasn’t asked him to take care of the man in front of her, and he knows its not his place. she knows she does not resent the man to the point that she wishes harm upon him, she simply wishes that he would leave her alone. and iwaizumi will make sure that wish is honored, and omi should be satisfied with the hit he landed on the man’s nose.

before her hand can even reach the knob of the door, it swings open and she’s pulled inside by the arms of a black-haired man who he recognizes to be akaashi. kita is standing beside him, a hand on [y/n]’s shoulder as they both check on her for any injuries or harm.

he hasn’t seen kita since his days in high school when he was the captain of inarizaki; atsumu told him he had moved out to the countryside but he must have come back after some time. he feels like a weight is lifted off his chest at the sight of her in the arms of his roomates, and he knows that she is cared for. that she has found her people, just like he told her earlier that night, and he hopes that she’s starting to accept his words as the truth.

he’s happy just watching her from afar, but she breaks apart from akaashi’s hug to gesture him in, and kita shuts the door behind him. “omi, this way,” she says with a smile on her face, beckoning him with a hand.

it’s the first time she’s called him by that old name since high school, and he thinks he’s falling even harder for her if that’s possible. she makes him sit on a stool in the kitchen while she searches her cabinets and a nearby closet for medical supplies. she’s begun to apply an ointment to his hand when he opens his mouth, “i can’t believe you think your roomates would ever leave you. look at how they all came to make sure you were okay. mine are one fight away from starting to vote people to kick out of the apartment nearly every week.”

she laughs at his comment, unwrapping a roll of bandages, “i’m sure no one would ever vote for you if that happened, but i guess you’re right, they’re pretty good, aren’t they?”

he nods, watching her face while she’s focused on his hand, “are you doing okay?”

she hums back in response, “yeah. the thing about my mom leaving me behind too kind of stung, but i don’t think life would’ve been any better with her, so it shouldn’t really hurt that bad. i’ll be okay. what you said at the diner really helped, you know. i feel like I can trust myself to say what i'm thinking rather than being scared i'm wrong or selfish. i can trust that it's not egotistical to believe my roomates don’t actually hate me. and that you don’t hate me. so i feel like i’ve finally escaped the weight of my dad’s words always crushing me and playing down anything i do.”

he reaches a hand up with his uninjured hand to wipe away tears from her face she didn't even realize were falling. and then he keeps his hand there, caressing the side of her face. “i don’t hate you, i never have. this entire time…how i feel about you is quite the opposite,” the words are slightly too intimate for him and as soon as they escape his mouth, it becomes hard to swallow and his face feels a little hot, but he doesn’t remove the hand from her cheek. he opts to say something more neutral next, “you did well, talking back down to him. i think you could’ve taken him down yourself.”

she chuckles at that, tying a knot to finish his bandage, “that’s what you think, but i’m sure i’d break my thumb or something. and if i have a hot man to defend me? i’m not lifting a finger.”

“you think i’m hot?” he says with a smile.

her cheeks grow warm under his hand, but she can’t look or move away from him, “i’m pretty sure thousands of people think so. it’s like a fact; newspapers can make money off of just having your face on the front page even if they barely mention you or don’t focus on sports at all.”

“well none of that matters,” he’s smiling softly now, and she’s still looking into his dark-colored eyes, hands holding his wrapped hand, “it just matters what you think.”

“what i think?” she repeats. and maybe it’s the adrenaline from the encounter they just had, or his boldness rubbing off on her in this current moment, but her next words come out clear and confident, “i think i love you, and i have for years. even when you left, i never stopped loving you.”

“i’m gonna make up for those years, you know,” he whispers back, pulling her by the sides to stand between his legs, bringing her closer. “i know i love you. i’d be a fool not to. and i loved you back then in high school too, even if i didn’t know it. i swear, losing you made me realize how much i took you for granted and everything became clear. letting you disappear was the worst mistake i ever made. i’ll make up for that lost time. make it up to you to the the point that you’re sick of me and you forget we were ever even separated for a time in our lives.”

“oh? and how are you gonna do that?” there’s a breathless feeling growing inside of her chest, where her heart beating fast with his confession and the way she's allowing him to pull her face close to this.

“starting with this,” his breath is hot against her lips before he closes the gap between them, and she’s kissing him back. she doesn't mourn or wish for the past, or for anything to change. he's come back and that's all that matters. she's happy with the word again. she likes it better than a phrase like "we fell in love at first sight." instead, she can say, "we met again. we fell in love again.

"we tried again."

it sounds like a story that reminds people endings aren't set in stone. she likes it.

.

.

.

“by the way, have you been playing songs for me in your lounge room when i’m waiting for you?”

“oh, you noticed?”

.

.

.

"the more you love your friends the more their features start to blur until all you remember is a pair of warm, welcoming eyes and laughter that feels like home."

prev. | m.list

extras <3

this is the end! thank you for reading try again <3

that last little quote is something i should've included like two chapters ago but it got lost in my gallery so here it is now <3

y/n's a good therapist i swear!!! she takes like one second to hit a play on a spotify playlist she's not playing games on her computer for entire sessions 😭

this is all i have tbh! i hope you enjoyed a little bit of this story <3 thank you so so much for being along on this ride w me!!

taglist: @eggyrocks @wyrcan @guitarstringed-scars @strawberryuri @violetesensou @kakeru-eem @glmge @heytheredemonsss @mollyrolls @bemebiu @daszy @snail-squasher @0moonii @thiisisntlovely @todorokiskitten @rory-cakes @iiwaijime @iatethemochi @yuminako @savemebrazilhinata @kismyscars @bokutoko @nobodybutnnoorr @wolffmaiden @daisy-room @softpia @lees-chaotic-brain @v3nusplanetofluv @crispchocolates @phoenix-eclipses @hhoneyhan @encrypta @rockleeisbaeeee @cr4yolaas @zombriesworld @localgaytrainwreck @moucheslove @hibernatinghamster @notverymarley @certaindreampost @akaakeis @ciderscape @lucien-luna @strawbrinkofdeath @wave2mia @samuel1004 @01trickster10 @dazqa @cosmiicdust @chemiru

[sturnsmadl]

enemy!chris headcannons!

warnings!-mostly just angst and chris being a huge dick, swearing, mentions of self harm, slight bodyshaming, bullying, mentions of nudes, kissing, male masturbation, mentions of sex, light fluff, player chris.

enemy!chris who hates all your boyfriends and ex's.

"wheres the ugly guy your always with lately?"

"we broke up.."

"thank god. he bored the shit out of me."

enemy!chris who makes you feel like shit for fun.

"im gonna go get lunch if you wanna-"

"of course you are. always eating."

enemy!chris who still denys he likes you.

"your in love with her. we all see it."

"no im not.."

"the denial is crazy."

enemy!chris who doesn't let you go on dates.

enemy!chris who constantly makes sneaky comments.

enemy!chris who is always looking at your body.

enemy!chris who never lets you get your own way.

"can we go target instead?"

"oh yeah! i love-"

"actually walmarts good."

"can you just fucking decide?!"

enemy!chris who makes excuses like crazy.

"i was drunk." "i dont know. i was tired." "phone got hacked."

enemy!chris who you regret hooking up with.

"wasnt saying all this when you were under me."

"shutup. i regret that everyday."

"oh.."

enemy!chris who goes through your phone while your asleep.

enemy!chris who is always harsh with you.

"im gonna go to the gym when i-"

"thats a shocker."

enemy!chris who blocks all the boys off your phone.

enemy!chris who always asks for you to send.

"hi."

"what?"

"you tryna send something?"

enemy!chris who doesn't let you get a word in.

"oh nick did i tell you about-"

"god no one fucking cares..shut the fuck up for once."

enemy!chris who hooks up with girls all the time so you know your just a number.

"u said i was.."

"different? yeah. i say that a lot huh?"

enemy!chris who breaks your lock when he finds out you hurt yourself.

"fuck..where are you?!"

"bathroom.."

enemy!chris who keeps an eye on you at parties.

enemy!chris who shows you up when your in a group.

"i got this new shirt and its like-"

"suprised you could afford it."

"chris.."

enemy!chris who feels slightly bad when he finds you crying because of his words.

"are you...okay..?"

"do i look okay?!"

"uhh..no..?"

enemy!chris who stares at you when you scream at him.

"AND YOU CANT KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS CAN YOU?!"

"well..i-"

"EVERYTIME I TRY SPEAK YOU HAVE TO INSULT ME!!"

enemy!chris who kisses you to shut you up.

"chris your really starting to-"

kisses you

enemy!chris who hugs you to his chest when you cry.

"shh..your okay.."

"its not i-"

"your getting makeup on my white shirt."

"oh fuck off chris."

enemy!chris who gets caught jerking off to your pictures.

"fuck!..nghm..y/n.."

"chris have you seen-"

"what?! get out!!"

enemy!chris who finally admits everything.

"sorry..i was just too scared to admit my own feelings.."

"oh..i mean..nick said-"

"doesnt matter. im sorry."

enemy!chris who actually feels guilty.

"but..you said all that stuff so quick like you didnt even think.."

"i know..i didnt mean it. i was just a dick."

enemy!chris who loves make-up sex.

"yeah? fuck your tight..you feel that?"

"yeah! fuck chris.."

a/n this is a lot but its kinda my favourite one lol. i like angst so thats probably why :) needed to put some warnings which i probably should from now on for all tbh. im very aware that chris would never act like this!!! mafia matt might be out tommorow depends how im feeling tbh.

taglist! @bellaonthelow @hrtsdollie @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii @stvrlighht @asherrisrandom @amelia-sturniolo3

[strnilolover]

strnilolover’s appreciation post !!

i’ve been seeing everyone do this and i feel as though it’s only right to do the same because i have to many amazing people who i’ve gotten to know and interact with on the time i’ve been on here for. <3

i want everyone to know that i love you ALL. i am so proud of each and everyone of you and i’m ALWAYS here when ever you need me or what to talk!

there’s so many more amazing people, but these right here are pretty much my ride or die’s and i would do anything for them just to see them happy!

@hearts4werka - vera, you were one of the first people that i talked to in my dm’s ever. tbh i was so nervous to at first because you are one of the people i look up to. you’ve always been so supportive and such a sweet soul every-time we talk. your writing is amazing and i love when we’re able to share ideas with one another. you’re full of so much energy even when it’s late at night for you or early in the morning. always saying good morning to me or telling me to get my ass to bed when i need to. i love all of your series and im so excited to see what others you come up with in the future as well as au’s! please dont ever die. i love you!

@adoreechxmpion - bri, when we first started talking it was so fun right off the bat. and the way we met was undeniably hilarious. i love talking to you when i get the chance, you always brighten up my day and make me feel happy. your writing too is just *chefs kiss*. i also love hearing about your day and how you’re doing when you tell me. you’re always so so sweet and such a lovable person, even when things get rough for you. i love you!

@sturniqloo - lili, we started talking through bri and honestly it’s been AMAZING. you are such a hype woman fr and your bots that you make are to fucking die for. you’re always so kind and was willing to help me with my dealer!chris when i was having a hard time trying to figure him out. i always love talking to you even if we have such a big time difference. i love you!

@endereies - kay, we just started talking about a week ago (or less) and it feels like i’ve known you for a while which is crazy. i love spilling my thoughts to you and it’s always fun to see little pictures or videos of what you’re doing when you send them to me. if i’m being honest, i was also nervous to talk to you because i see you as one of the bigger accounts on here, and your writing is to die for. but, you’re such a sweet person and someone who isn’t afraid to share their mind (dirty or not LMAO). i love you!

@victoriassadcorner - vee, i met you through bri as-well. i know we haven’t talked much, but it’s always fun seeing you and bri interact and knowing that i can jump in the conversation and you guys won’t mind. you are such a kind hearted soul and deserve every good thing that you get. (we need to talk more!!). i love you!

@phone4pills - slow, we don’t talk very often or interact as much as i want to but i will make sure to do that more! you’re such an inspiration and someone i also look up to when i’m writing or making au’s. you are so so sweet and gentle, letting me come into your inbox and talk about anything and everything when i do decide to. your writing and au’s are LITERALLY amazing. i’m so glad i was able to meet someone like you. i love you!

@cayleeuhithinknott - caylee, we may also not interact much, but when we do i absolutely love it! i was here for your other account before it got banned, being an anon on it because i still get scared to make requests for things or send in ideas even when i shouldn’t be. but when i did reveal myself, you were so happy and it felt like such a relief. i’m still sad that tumblr decided to remove your other account for no reason because your works on there were amazing and your works now still are! i definitely want to talk more in the future! i love you!

@bernardsbendystraws - rose, you were someone i didn’t even think i would be mutuals with. but i’m glad that we are. when ever i talk to you or pop up in your inbox, you’re always so kind and sweet. you’re someone i definitely look up to big time when it comes to writing, seeing how you piece your works together and how good they are and how much sentimental value they have to you makes me admire you that much more. and you’re such a talented writer. we may not talk much, but it’s always so fun when we do! i love you!

@sagesturns - sage, i always love when you pop into my inbox! telling me about what you’re doing or how your day is going and asking about mine in return. i always love hearing about what you’re working on too!! and your writing? i absolutely love it. you’re such an easy person to talk to and ease into conversations with! and i just want you to know that i am proud of you! i love you!

@sturniololuv08 - bri, honestly it was a surprise on how easily i slid into conversation with you one day when you started talking to me. we’ve only been talking for a little over a month and you’ve been nothing but an amazing person! and you’ve introduced me to some really great people like @chrissbug333 and @abbilmao . your writing is absolutely amazing and i love hearing all the wild ideas that run through your head and what things you’re writing and hearing the process of how they’re written out. you work so hard, not just in writing, but in real life too. always busting your ass and not getting enough sleep, that’s something i admire because i want to be just as hard working and driven as you are even if it’s hard to be. i love you!

@marrykisskilled - i absolutely ADORE you. you always like my posts and when you talk to me you’re just the SWEETEST. you also reblog my writing when i post and it makes me so so happy. i would absolutely love to talk to you more! i know you’re such a kind person just from how you interact with others and myself. i love you!

@strniloslvts - angie, you are such a talented writer!! your book that you’re writing right now is absolutely amazing so far and i LOVE IT. i also love when you come into my inbox a million times a day to ask how i’m doing or to tell me about what you’re doing. you always interact with my posts too and it makes me happy to know that you enjoy them! i definitely want to talk more to you whenever you have the chance! i love you!

@bluestriips - adelaide, you are SUCH A HYPE WOMAN. you’re always reblogging my posts and writings and i absolutely adore you for it!! you’re always so sweet to me and everyone i see you interact with! i haven’t gotten a chance to read your stuff on wattpad but i promise i will get to it and when i do i will let you know how much i LOVE IT. we don’t talk much but i want to! you seem like such a nice person and i can see it in little pieces that are here on tumblr. i love you!

@biieberfever - you are always sending me ideas and asks about my writings and au’s! i have you to thank for my adhd!reader au that i write for. we may not talk much, but your writing is amazing even if you’re only starting out! i love when we’re able to talk because you’re ideas are so good and i just know that when you post more writings, theyre just going to get better! i love you!

@ariestrxsh - aries, your writing is LITERALLY AMAZING. every-time i read it, it literally makes me just want to keep coming back because you have such an amazing way of constructing your works. your pizza boy chris and chratt fics? 😮‍💨 blows me away every time i read them. you’re so sweet to your anons and to whoever talks to you! and your advice you give them or telling them it’ll be okay really shows how much of an amazing person you are. i would love to talk more! i definitely have to pop into your inbox more lmao. i love you!

@chrislilcumslvt - marls, you are normally always one of the first people to like any of my things when i post and are just so so active. i literally love how sweet you are and how funny you are when interacting with others. and i see the way you comfort people, i know it takes a toll to be a person to comfort others but you are such an amazing soul! and how the first time we ever talked in my dm’s was to show you what i looked like and how SWEET YOU WERE TO ME??? i literally love you so much and want to talk to you more!!

@sweetshuga - isa, i am SO proud of you and how far you’ve come in such a short amount of time. the hype and love you get on your fics are so very deserved. your writing is phenomenal and i eat it up EVERY time. i loved our little talk session we had the other night, you just get me and i LOVE IT. you are literally so pretty and so so so talented and kind. i’m so glad i was able to stumble across and meet you! we definitely need to talk more <3

@ifwdominicfike - avery, your writing is so so so good (especially that sub!chris blurb earlier? OMG) i love everytime i get tagged in a new work of yours because i know it’s going to be good every time. i also love whenever you interact with me or reblog my things! it’s always so fun having our little interactions. i’m definitely going to talk to you more because you seem like such a awesome person! i love you!

@shadowthesim - honey, you are someone who i will talk to here and there. and everytime we do, i enjoy it! i’m so glad you decided to start posting your writings because you are AMAZING! and i had such a fun time trying to teach you how to use the gradient text and even helping you when you needed it! i’m so glad your fics get attention because they deserve them!! never stop writing boo, you’re doing amazing! i love you!

and to @her-favorite-deactivated2024111 who is no longer on here - kendra, you were the first person i ever started to talk to when i didn’t even have any writings on my blog. i always sent you ideas i had or little requests as talking to you through your inbox was such fun. you are such a sweet and kind person and i was lucky enough to have found you because if i didn’t, i probably wouldn’t be posting my writings and i wouldn’t have found all these amazing people i know today. you pushed me to post what i wrote, telling me that the right audience would love it and support me for it, and you were right. your writings were so amazing and i’m still sad that you decided to leave. but, i know it was for your own health! i’ll still be here when you decide to come back, for now i know you deserve a break to focus on yourself. i love you so much <3

[changbinsboobs]

what is something u came to learn abt each skz member that really did surprise u or that u might not have thought abt if u were just observing them as a fan?

I def want to answer that again in the future when i have done more readings on them but for now its this:

1. how easy going I.N is. Tbh i though he's pretty stuck up and kind of a snob😅

2. how sneaky felix is. He seems like an innocent sunshine but i think he has a very different side to him that otherwise stays very well hidden.

3. how girlypop chan is. He has a more of a daddy/therapist perona within the fandom and other than that seems very serious and workaholic so i thought his energy would a very "no bullshit" kinda energy but he's very very cool and as i said gives me "girly pop, tea" typa energy.

4. how stuck up hyunjin is. Tbh i did sense that already when watching 2 kids room but i thought its just a small part of him, as we see so much of his fun creative side, but after doing multiple readings on him i believe he's a VERY difficult person to have an relationship with (platonic/romantic whatever, just very difficult)

5. how family oriented seungmin is. Very very mature. If tomorrow news cane out if him having a wife and a 3 year old child, with another in the way - i wouldn't be surprised AT ALL!!!

6. han being much more stable than i thought. Honestly i thought he's a mess and definitely has big problems mentally - doesn't seem like that at all tho in my readings. Gives off a pretty stable energy at least comparing to what i thought before.

7. for leeknow i dont have much as he seems pretty similar to what I've picked up on him beforehand - aside from the fact i thought he's way spicier than he actually is. Now it makes total sense to me, and i actually see where that come sfrom through his behaviour in interviews and more insight that we've gotten about his prsonal life etc, but somehow back then i still thought he would be spicier, being a double scorpio (or scorpio gemini) and all.

8. for changbin theres nothing that surprised me as I've picked up on his energy soooo strongly from the moment i started stanning the group. He's actually the reason i started using tarot, because through him i found out i actually have a gift for things like that. Like i would be cooking(or doing something), and suddenly i get a weird urge to like vent and ramble(with like really specific details), and feel so annoyed and hurt and i keep seeing him and like getting an urge to be held - even tho I have never had thought and feelings of that kind before. Idk how to explain it - u just know its not yours. And i endure it for a few 10-20 minutes, and it doesn't go and suddenly i decide to look if something's happened and then i see a certain live or a video or whatever and everything I've been feeling and hearing suddenly makes perfekt sense. Also had periods of times where he's in my dreams, but disguised and its like really intense. But yeah anyways I've went into too much detail😂 basically everything I've found out about him through tarot, i already knew before. I became interested in tarot primarily because of him and the intense energy I was CONSTANTLY picking up on.

[cure-typhoon]

please please please talk more about the beta troll’s friendship 🙏

You have summoned me in my favorite subject: 🎉🎉🎉🎉 FRIENDSHIP!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Take a sit because this is going to be long, so long i may end up dividing into different posts!

Okey so sadly we don't have a lot of info of the full group dynamic besides some clues and what we know is them literally at their worst thinking they we're going to die in a meteor,after a full one month campaign in the game they had won yet was taken from them being chased by an undefeatable enemy that destroyed their planets and probably their lusus too. And at the end three of them going on a rampage and killing the rest of the team

So not the most reliable info of how their normal dynamic as a friendgroup would be, but tbh it could never be "healthy friendgroup" in a human sense because, well, they live in Alternia.

But even in hell, the flower of friendship can blossom, so lets talk about the fucked up friendship between these kids:

We know little about how their friendship started, contrary with the Beta Kids that we know because of June's birthday presente for Jade arriving in the past to young Jade with her pesterchum and her probably looking at the clouds in Prospit and seeing there the pesterchum of Rose and Dave following suit

Because the Beta Trolls are a much bigger group and we dont really know if they actually celebrate their wriggling days, as none of the trolls mentioned it but it could also be in part because of Karkat's disdain for the celebration or them maybe not knowing because he is a very private kid after all

Maybe Kanaya was the first troll that befriended all of them, like Jade was and both of them being the assigned Space player of their group and the first ones to wake in Prospit, but i also doubt that considered she didnt went through the birthday gift shenanigan that young Jade went through

So what most likely happened: The trolls who we're closest to eachother (Equius and Vriska, Eridan and Feferi, Aradia and Tavros, Terezi and Vriska* (not totally sure about that one) and maybe Sollux and Aradia/Feferi) befriended eachother first and meet the rest (Karkat, Nepeta, Gamzee, Kanaya) online and just shared their info between eachother.

I honestly wonder who thought of the idea of all sharing their Trollian between eachother, maybe Feferi? maybe it just happened overtime? but what matters right now is the

F R I E N D S H I P

So today we will talk about the underrated friendships between the group

Starting with Aradia and Tavros! Both members of Team Charge, i see very few people talk about them as friends even though they were obviously very close considering they we're part of a Flarp campaign together.

Both seem to match pretty well personality wise, both adventurous and wanting to have fun in the game, Aradia knows that Tavros picked a hard class for himself yet she still encourages him and tries to cheer him on and advice him in the case of Vriska trying to get under his skin.

When Vriska starts to surrond him, she tries to communicate with her first, but sadly she and terezi where distracted by Doc Scratch, so he gets paralized

Side note: After Aradia and Terezi, his third option for asking for help is Karkat, which is...interesting, they dont talk a lot but when they do its Tavros trying to get advice/help from him (2 out of 3 convos), so either Karkat and Tavros have more convos besides the ones showed (very likely) or Karkat just having a reputation of helping with issues that he is the first one who comes to Tavros's mind

also Karkat calling him bro is so fucking funny cdbhd, idk if its sarcasm or if its genuine like with Eridan but he seems worried for a little before going on a rant about how stupid this is, only to come back trying to advice him to do this in private (also he winks at him as GTavrossprite but thats smt for the Tavkat shippers)

Anyway, back to Aradia, after her death we dont know about their relationship that much, we know that the whole reason that this whole revenge cycle was because Aradia wanted to avenge Tavros

But after her death, we don't know if they talk or if Tavros even knows she is dead, as it was mostly secret that only Sollux, Vriska, Terezi and Equius seem to know,

What we know is that Aradia keeps Tavros close to her heart, as the only reason she didnt straight up kill Vriska is

Because he was there to see it

And thats all the info we have of their relationship while Aradia was a robot, is more than likely Tavros confronted Vriska (besides creating Bec Noir) because Aradiabot had just exploded and he was blaming her for that too (especulation)

Their post-death/revival shows them having the same relationship pre-aradia's death, after they find eachother in the afterlife

Theyre big pals :)

Staying with Tavros, another friendship people dont seem to talk a lot about is Kanaya and Tavros, which tbh, we dont have a conversation on screen between them, but we know they talk and Kanaya tries to mediate to help him when Vriska is bullying him

And also, even after she cut Vriska out because of the whole ''Having a crush on her but finding out she has a crush on Tavros'' (probably because she was sulking) she seems to have a fine relationship with Tavros, as she made a Tinkerbull plushie for him

To other friendships, Kanaya and Feferi! Another group of trolls with very few coversations, but we can easily tell in those that they cared for eachother

They have a lot in common, being of the few trolls who woked up in their moons before the game, having a huge responsability as their lusus can either kill or revive their entire civilization, being in a unhappy moiralliagance (with their cases kinda mirroring eachother, with Feferi not wanting to be in any quadrants while Eridan wants to change them, while Kanaya wants to change quadrants while Vriska seems to be fine with where they are) and knowing their lusus were going to die when they were 13

Feferi and Kanaya seem to have very a similar relationship as Karkat and Eridan, where they advise eachother about their moirals + possible romantic relationships. And their very contrasting personalities helps them balance eachother out

Feferi is even comfortable enough to invite Kanaya to the horn pile and knowing Kanaya's expressions enough to guess that she is nervous about coming off as meddling with them

After Feferi gets killed off, Kanaya is already ready to attack, only waiting to see what Eridan is planning to do, attack her first or trying to escape

If it weren't for Kanaya distracting herself with the matriorb, and Eridan inmediately picking on this opportunity

To piss her off enough to set her off and attack him first

So she is an easier target that he can kill her off without a fight

Speaking about this two, next time we will to talk about the complicated (annoying) friendship between these two, why next time? because this post is already getting to fucking long!

Come here for Part 2 -> Here! (when its done this will get updated with a link lol)

[letters-of-libertas]

Given the climate we're in, it is political when women refuse to partner or reproduce with maIes but at the same time when choosing to commit to this lifestyle, it is very important to have non-political reasons for it aswell. I think a lot of women struggle to commit to this because they get into it for political or reactive reasons but when that energy dies down they find themselves left with nothing else. They feel empty and would want to be with a maIe for non-political personal reasons to them.

Before I continue, this is not a change-your-mind post (or page). If you're actively looking to partner with a maIe then stop reading here because this isn't for you. This is for women who dont want to ever deal with dating.

This is not to downplay or invalidate political reasons behind choosing to not date or reproduce with maIes, but it cannot be your only or main reason(s). When I say reactive I also mean women who do this to get a positive reaction from maIes, hoping they'll apologise, 'change' & beg you to be with them when you say no.

Now obviously life happens & it doesn't suprise me as I'm blackpilled but I've seen many osawomen who mainly have reactive or political reasons for not wanting to deal with maIes eventually end up partnering with maIes regardless of how staunch of a separatist, wine aunt, lesbian, etc they were.

The thing with reactive politics is that it tends to get exhausting especially when things are not going in the direction you anticipated. So when the energy of whatever politics is tied to your decision for not wanting to date maIes at the moment is gone, then the reasons for wanting to not partner with maIes also goes. That pillar begins to breakdown.

Whereas when you have non-political reasons for doing this, you focus on yourself and what you get out of this - it's a different story, so find non-political reasons for choosing to not date or reproduce. Dont just find/define the reason but actually live it out. These reasons should mean something to you beyond politics or reactive measures. Does it really give you purpose? How do you let it be a part of you? I have my own personal non-political reasons for not dating (or not reproducing) which is why regardless of how my politics changes (& has changed) I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a maIe at the end of the day or give birth.

Another reason to not center political motives as a reason for not dating is so that it feels more natural to you. It becomes a part of you where it doesn't absorb you. It shouldn't absorb you to the point you're blind or feel trapped. As it's a part of you it will feel natural to go about doing your thing without wanting a partner, even to the point where if you saw a maIe & he was fine as hell + appeared to be a good fit; you have your principles + ways of living so you wont want a relationship with him anyways. Tbh only a minority of women will be at this point but that's the headspace you want to be at if you're serious. It should be natural, not something that you force or you make yourself do. Generally ask yourself what it is about relationships that you wouldn't want to get into & why.

On the flip side, many women wont initially date for political reasons but as I said; when the political drive slows down they will start dating. However they dont date for political reasons, they do it because wanting a relationship/love (+ starting a family) is a part of them. It feels natural to them to want love/companionship, or even have kids. This is why so many women will continue to date maIes despite all the maIe degeneracy, risks, and evil in the het dating scene we all see. Even though women know what maIes are like (more than they want to let on), they dont care they still have their reasons for wanting to have a relationship with a maIe. This is why regardless of the hurdles in the way when it comes to dating for osawomen they will jump those hurdles *bounce bounce bounce* to have a relationship with a maIe but when there's one hurdle when it comes to not dating maIes, they start running back. A little thing happens and "it's too hard I cant do this anymore". So again it's about personal objective.

Ik people will say "but we can't control our sexuality!1!", i know I'm straight aswell. I have had times where I've been attracted to maIes & even when they like me back I wouldn't pursue a relationship with them (and no I dont feel like I'm missing something either) because it's just not for me.

Personally, I dont believe this is a lifestyle women choose I think it chooses you tbh. Cause if you're in a position where you feel like you have to force yourself to stay on track & you dont feel comfortable committing, it aint for you. When you're new it can be hard but as time goes on, if it's for you it'll feel natural. It will be a part of you and you can find purpose beyond a romantic relationship or reproducing.

[goddammitjosef]

For the otp question meme. Napalex. Every number except for 26.

(Is this evil behavior?)

fuck you im doing 26

NAPALEX HEADCANONS MASTERPOST WOOOO

Who is most affectionate?

Napoleon, he warms up to Alexander after a while and is very cuddly, pinches his ears when mad and sits on his lap a lot. Alexander thinks it's kind of weird.

Little spoon/Big spoon?

Napoleon is little spoon Alexander is big spoon.

Most common arguement?

Poland, this is canon btw... trading too. Literally anything atp but mostly Poland.

Favourite non-sexual activity?

Taking long walks, and arguing.

Who is most likely to care for the other?

Napoleon, he has to remind Alexander to do stuff.

What is their favourite feature of their partner?

Napoleon likes Alexander's hair, and his facial features, overall anything that makes him look like a greek god.

Alexander likes Napoleon's chub.

What's the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Literally nothing they still hold grudges they just kiss now.

Nicknames? If so how did they originate?

I've been on this hill since day one that Napoleon called Alexander "Alex" and Alexander thought it was weird but now Napoleon calls him Sasha.

Alexander calls Napoleon "Napoleon" to his face but Bonaparte behind his back cause he's a fake ass bitch.

Who worries the most?

ALEXANDER

Who remembers what the other orders at a resturant?

Alexander. Napoleon always orders chicken while Alexander tries ordering something different each time and usually doesn't like it.

Who tops?

COMPLICATED QUESTION NOT EVEN ARISTOLE COULD ANSWER!!!!!

I always thought it would be Napoleon but looking back I know believe Alexander usually tops. Napoleon tops sometimes but everytime he does Alexander has a horrible time and fakes an orgasm. Napoleon is a lot better at handjobs tho which Alexander does enjoy but that's TMI.

Who initiates kisses?

Napoleon does, his are more rough and with tongue while Alexander likes small pecks.

Who reaches for the other's hand first?

Napoleon.

Who kisses the hardest.

As previously stated, Napoleon. He's an OK kisser.

Who wakes up first?

Napoleon.

Who wants to stay in bed a little longer?

Alexander.

Who says I love you first?

NAPOLEON.

Who leaves little notes in the others lunch.

I dont think this one applies here but i'll give it a shot.

If it's highschool AU then Napoleon leaves cringey notes in Alexanders lunch. Modern AU where they're adults then Alexander does, he just tells him to have a nice day. I imagine modern AU Alexander is a lot more loving than the real Alexander.

BTW I wanna flesh out a modern AU where Paul works in the Kremlin and Napoleon is a foreign exchange student in Russia because it was the cheapest place they'd take him. Also it'd be better for designs since most Russian secondary schools don't have uniforms.

Who tells their family/friends of their relationship?

LITERALLY NO ONE KNOWS. Execpt Fredrick William because he could tell.

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

Ok breakdown if they DID know. Paul would kill Alexander, like actual death Ivan the Terrible and His Son. Catherine II would be more supportive. Elizabeth would just not care honestly, she thinks it's interesting it's with a man this time but she's been through him cheating through the hundredth time. But she would poke at him telling him "Why'd you seperate me and Varvara and now you're gay??" Josephine also doesnt care but she doesn't like how Napoleon keeps asking for her to roleplay as Alexander now. Pauline thinks it's kind of cute but calls them the f slur to her husband. Leticia would shoot Napoleon. Joseph thinks it's weird. Konstintine would make fun of Alexander and tell everyone.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Alexander this is canon.

Who cooks/is better at cooking?

Alexander...I think? Not too sure.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

NAPOLEON

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during sex?

Both of them tbh, very talkative i would say but Napoleon more than Alexander.

Who needs more assurance?

ALEXANDER.

What would be their theme song?

Already made a song analysis post but to sum it up.

Backstabber - Dresdon Dolls

The More You Ignore Me the Closer I Get - Morrissey

I like you - Morrissey

Let Me Kiss You - Morrissey

You've Got Everything Now - The Smiths.

Once More to See You - Mitski

I ALSO HAVE A PLAYLIST

Who would sing their child back to sleep?

Napoleon.

What do they do when they're away from eachother?

When are they not away from eachother?

One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart.

I hear people say Alexander offered Napoleon to stay with him instead of being at Elba and it's probably not true but...man...

ALSO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM AT THE END OF THEIR LIVES. JUST. HOW DID ALEXANDER FEEL ABOUT NAPOLEON'S DEATH I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO

One headcanon about this OTP that mends it.

I don't know send me your headcanons. MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN FOR ANYTHING BUT ESPECIALLY NAPALEX I LOVE MESSAGING PEOPLE LET'S TOUCH TIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sulfies]

How mad do you think the ancestors would get if they started getting frisky with Desmond and he started bleeding one of the others!

Like if Altaïr just got Desmond's shirt off but now Desmond's eyes are gold and he has Ezio's fucking grin

How do you think they would react to this? Would they be jealous or interested? Anyway hope you're having a good day!

Ur mind is so huge🫣 thats such a good idea ughhh

While their main bae is Desmond They also are into eachother so they would fuck but they just like being w Desmond mainly, and getting to be with the others is like a nice bonus. So they do all date eachother but If Desmond wasnt into and ok w it they wouldnt care about becoming more that close friends idk if that makes sense. So non of them would ever get a bad reaction to a bleed of another but they prob would stop the first time just to make sure Desmond's ok with it as well outside of a bleed. (ı need to make a relationship chart lmao)

Altair

Altaïr would be into it 100% prob would have fun with it tricking Ezio!bleed into it being a dream just to get more reactions or teasing him a lot like "what would people say, Mentoré having a wet dream about the brotherhoods greatest"

Connor!bleed would get him going too because seeing Desmond be more shy ,be impressed when Altaïr throws him around bc he isnt actually built like Connor would be fun. Basically he would enjoy Connor!bleed acting less experianced, blushing like crazy, hiding his face since Altaïr gets to pull old tricks he knows Desmond likes and see different reactions as if its the first time

I think with Altaïr!Bleed would be the only one to make him jelous and feel weird just bc he knows how annoying/smug he can be lol and both would fight a bit on who does what or if they even do anything till probobly Bleed!Altaïr would go "try everything once" lol I can see Bleed!Altaïr even maybe not letting Altaïr touch as he talks like "sucks to be you I get to be in Desmonds Skin feel everything he feels"

Ezio

Altaïr!bleed gets him going also and he likes bickering with a more smug Desmond who is meaner to him and ofc roughhousing. He would def talk about it to Altaïr to annoy him "do you also react that way when I do-"

Connor!Bleed again he is very into a silent, more threathening but shy Desmond that he has to put more work into. Probobly the eye contact 👁️👁️ Connor!bleed does gets to him a lot and effects him more than he lets on. He also enjoys imagining how Connor would look if he did the same lol. He would also Enjoy Connor!bleed forgetting Desmonds actual strenght and tryng to pull his hands to hide his face only for them to not move under Ezio

Ezio!Bleed he is 1000% into it and has the most fun lmaoo not even a question. they just both look at eachother in "oh this is going to be fun~" and the whole hideout has to wear earplugs

Connor

Connor probobly would be the most hesitant and vary of em all, the bleeds would have to make the first move or convince.

Altaïr!bleed scares him in a good way lol, kinda takes the pressure away from him and he enjoys how much more outspoken Des is "do that, dont do this" and he also does enjoy the teasing he gets a bit.

Ezio!bleed would make him blush like crazy and prob he would hide his face 90% of the time bc of the dirtytalk if Ezio let him (he doesnt ofc)

Connor!bleed... I think Connor would be weirded out and would take a few times of it happening for him and the bleed to even be like "lets try if we like it" maybe outside the bleed Desmond has to go "go have fun, If you cant trust yourself who else"

Once both got over their shyness Connor would prob learn a lot about himself lmaoo and maybe is like "maybe I should be more vocal during it hmm" or just enjoy a more silent quiet relaxed fun? But tbh probobly most of the time Connor would just turn it into a cuddling and small touches session.

[lily-onher-grave]

anyway wicked movie round three thoughts

i tried to pay more attention to musical motifs this time around and there are so many gut punches i was sitting there going oh fuck this over and over again. i can't wait to spend the next five years watching music analyses of this soundtrack i swear to god

i won't talk about sad glinda and the effigy again but i will talk about how glinda doesn't even look scared once she says elphaba was her friend. she's so immediately lost in the memories and her wistful smile as we start the flashback is e v e r y t h i n g

if you think ariana and cynthia crying through the entire press tour is ridiculous wait 'til you hear about me crying at the damn fish during the transition to shiz. it's just so magical okay! and glinda is so excited! and it makes me think of how hard book glinda worked to get to shiz, and idk man i just got swept away by the wonder and charm of a magic university alright god

idk how popular/unpopular an opinion this is but i have such a soft spot for dear old shiz and i love that how it plays in the dormitories, it's so sweet

also i finally noticed the time dragon clock this time around

(also fine yes bowen yang's pfannee is the perfect crope/tibbett when he's not being a mean girl. fuck i miss crope and tibbett)

((i need bookverse ideas so i can write crope and tibbett again))

i love the touch of glinda being like no, no way to pfannee and shenshen about the hat but then when elphaba shows up glinda specifically looks down at her sorcery books before deciding to give it to her. i love that silent tipping point in her decision

at the ozdust glinda says it's her heart's desire to become a sorcerer. elphaba giving glinda her heart's desire the way the wizard is supposed to (and not just now, but presumably i part two as well when she gives her the grimmerie)

the poppy in nessa's hair the day elphaba brings a bouquet to class for dr dillamond (fiyero and glinda have flowers on their desks too which is just so sweet)

((also i do love glinda and elphaba arguing about the way dillamond says glinda as they walk to their seats. it's so silly it's so real. i would watch 3 hours of shiz shenanigans i swear))

when jeff goldblum walked out from behind the wizard's head a woman in the theater went "oh!" and tbh it was the perfect little addition to that scene. give that random theatergoer an oscar

if elphaba had said her heart's desire was to not be green i think the wizard would have pulled out a non-green doll and given it to her and that would've been the scene

hey do you guys think they're gonna change the lyrics of wonderful in part two to address the fact that glinda is the one who chose the yellow brick road?

(my other theory about part two right now is that the opening is going to be very different. i really just dont' think you can open a movie with thank goodness and have it hit. idk what they'll do but there needs to be some sort of buffer)

also i think this movie has made me a fan of sentimental man. it's just so charming! like elphaba, i am not immune to a sweet little number about home and family and a sense of belonging

it's been said before but the betrayal scene in the palace truly is everything. elphaba is so hurt by it all. morrible's actions really do sting in this one (and michelle yeoh, hoooly hell, the switch from warm headmistress to intimidating head sorceress is so good)

idk man. it's just nice to know that i'll never be over this movie i think. after spending like 8 years building up unrealistic expectations about it i was still surprised and amazed and tbh 2024 has been so freaking disappointing, it's nice to know that this one thing was as close to perfect as it could have been (imo)

[tsuki--sora]

helloo i was wondering if u have any tips on how to start learning how to draw?? i’m gonna try it for the nth time and force myself to not give up and since i absolutely LOVE ur art i was hoping you could help me?? thank you in advance and have a happy new year 🥰

omggg i just saw this :O!! i havent been around here so i didnt see :C but anyway!!! im not sure what advice or tips to give tbh so ill just share some things that helped me 🙇

knowing what im drawing (basically...using reference lol ) u might've seen this tip a lot but its true 😆 think of it as like... training wheels on a bike AHSAHSAHHA u use training wheels for some time until u can be good enough to ride a bike without them or something like that.... its the same with using reference. u have to know and get familiar with what an object looks like first before you're able to draw without it and with confidence. tbh i dont always do this bcos sometimes i just wanna mindlessly draw ykno 😔 and thats okay as well!!! just remember that reference is very helpful when u hit a dead end with ur artwork :D also learn from real life!! look around u! sometimes id stare at something and nod in understanding. ----------------------------------

draw what u love <33 honestly, i only got back into drawing when i went down the vtuber hole a few years ago LMAO i would draw vox akuma eveyday 🙂‍↕️ and then my love for one piece got revived so now i draw my favorite characters every chance i can get bcos its all i can think abt!!! its honestly a good motivator. ----------------------------------

accepting and learning from mistakes ive always struggled with perfectionism and that really took my enjoyment and love for creating🥹 and that also stopped me from experimenting and exploring coz id always think that it wont come out as i hoped it would. SOOOO for the past 2-3 years i think?? i make it a habit to STOP ✋ being super critical when i see or make a mistake. the perspective is wrong? noted. the anatomy looks wonky? okay!! i let them exist in my artworks bcos how would i even know where to improve in if i dont know what it is 😅 i also make sure to keep those errors in mind so i know what areas i should be working on. u can always correct them on ur next work!! and the next!! again and again!!! its never-ending! ure always improving, always learning. ---------------------------------

i also have a board of artworks and styles that i really really like and i look at them when i need inspiration hahaha sometimes u just have to scroll thru pinterest for hours and draw nothing lol

personally, i think one doesnt have to draw everyday to be good. i mean, you can if u want to! but u might burn out fast if u force urself to draw everyday. just.. pace yourself. remember to rest and be good to yourself as well :))

thats all i can think of right now. i feel like i could share more but im just not good with words or explaining things. forgive me 😔🙇 our experiences may differ and what helped me may not be of use to u,,, but i hope this can help u even juuuuust a bit :"D be proud of every piece u make. u worked hard on it after all <33

(also sharing my art throughout the years!)

[gloriaglorheart]

deep inhale I want to hear ya'll EXACT first impressions on all the sorcerers! HERE WERE MINE!!!

Arcky- Ngl, I thought he was precious after I saw the staff art in the first part of the game. My brain was like "awww, lil' baby!" And I thought of citrus with the whole juice and tea talk with him and Spica (and Casper and I call him "Fanta boy" lmao)

Spica- Tbh, this was who I thought I WOULD like! Cause I enjoy elegant characters a lot. However, the more he talked, the less I liked him.

Pollux- Honestly... very neutral at first ngl. I thought he was cool with his different colored eyes! And slowly thought he was adorable! Now I feel attached to him like a baby brother (like everyone else lmao)

Sirius- I liked Sirius at first. I loved his design the most! The rainbow hair highlights and eyes! The hairbow! The nails! And then that likeness went down the further I played... also I didnt like how touchy he was and how he invaded my space. (He was also the first character I showed Casper)

Vega- I was neutral to him for a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time and honestly still don't know what to think. Don't get me wrong, I get why people like him a lot, and I do enjoy childhood friend characters.... but for me, Vega I feel doesn't have much explored for him, so he comes to me sometimes as TOO overly protective that it is annoying to me. Like I had to deal with people like this TOO much that i feel trapped and suffocating, and even underestimated.

Alpheratz- So, the first thing I saw of him in game, was his abs and torso exposed. I didn't care at all for him. I am demisexual and demiromantic, so I dont give a crap about someone or a character I dont know well being shirtless. Heck even when I saw him in game, I was "meh, he's aight." It wasnt until I decided to set him for the main page out of curiosity of him and then looking at his text and calls first did i start getting attached to the character. I LOVE wholesome crap with characters! He was so sweet in the texts and calls that I couldnt help but keep coming back! I always had a smile on my face! Then as the story kept going, and then seeing more texts and calls, I couldn't help but falling for his kind-heart and funny nature!

So yeah~! Those were my first thoughts!! ^^ What were all of yours~?

[pomefioredove]

🙂‍↕️not really coherent reply sorry

vil is one of the only characters in game that treats yuu with respect, and as an equal.

EXACTLYLY. honestly it never ever sits right with me whenever yuu BREAKS THEIR BACK trying to help others (especially because barely anyone is doing barely anything to help them. LET THIS BITCH GO HOME!!!!) for them to just? barely acknowledge it? casually brush it off? the scene in book 3 where the tweels r like wanna help out? you can switch with these guys and ace is like YES double all of my current suffering and pass it onto them /ref all of the students complaining about losing their signature spells when yuu has NO magic at all to protect themselves with.. let’s be serious please. maybe im being a little dramatic! but thats literally my favorite character you are talking about get their name out of your mouth.

vil is literally the only other character who plays a similar role in the story.

... cause chars like trey and lilia are almost there, but distinctly different in their roles, while vil is THE mother.

THIS!! !! !!! !!!!! lillia is more of the father trope and trey is more of a big brother i’d say. they aren’t nurturing in the same way vil is. maybe it’s the ‘nagging’ slash instructing aspect of how vil interacts with people. i don’t even know how to put it into words but ur right vil is so mom. like. i dont know.. it’s probably his relationship with epel (and even the other first years?) that makes me associate him with being motherly but he’s just so. nurturing. so many moms in the media that i’ve (recently) consumed were teaching their daughters to be quiet and respectful as to not get punished/essentially outcasted socially. of course that’s not really what vil is doing with epel but. ugh. read my mind!!! ull understand then trust. the ONLY other character that sorta makes me feel the same way is jamil. illove him so dearly but i know. little to nothing major about his character aside from his relationship with kalim. yuu and grim. vil and epel. jamil and kalim. they should start a we dont get paid (enough) for this bullshit club

honestly i dont even want to project myself onto yuu i wanna be a helpful roomate or somthinf. wtf 😭 my hungry aggressive ass could NOT be yuu /ref..

rhats all i can put into words rigth now . evene though i got sidetracked a lot.. !! bht th part abojt yuu being motherly ! ialso wanted to reply to. wowww thats a lot of typos sorry my eyesight is a tad blurry 😭

AHHGGGGG ANON

"double all of my current suffering and pass it onto them" LMAOOOO 😭😭😭

I am such a yuu defender idc. LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!! it's why rollo is still such a fave of mine, he's like one of the only sane people. looks at yuu and is like jesus christ are you fucking okay.

and yes literally vil is just. I think the big difference is that he actually kinda likes being in charge? more so than yuu. he's a natural leader while they were literally manipulated and blackmailed into their position (I WILL SAY THAT I do think vil feels pressured to be a leader because of how he was outcasted/made out to seem mean and scary by his peers so he just kinda Filled That Role... but also I definitely do not see him as someone who'd enjoy following rather than leading. his own character VERY MUCH parallels yuu's in so many ways)

jamil is definitely different tho. he was also forced into his position as a caretaker but he doesn't have a parental vibe to him. tbh I couldn't tell u what it is but he's got his own thing going on (and he DOES parallel yuu in a way, I wish he was closer to them because there's potential but he's really Not)

BUT YEAH I get you. I feel like this is a weird thing to say but yuu feels like their own character to me 😭 like I have my own yuusona but yuu themselves is a little guy to me

[leincendiaire]

anyways salty thoughts. dont expect me to be nice

this is the one problem not exclusive to the finale, god ed's character arc just. didnt do it for me at all. I excused it before cuz I thought it would pay off as the season went on but nope. he never had a genuine apology moment, just that youtuber apology like gag and the cat collar joke. like they literally show us how the crew was completely scarred by his actions but theyre later just completely fine with him on board???? and stede keeps being his biggest stan when I think he would have been like hey what the fuck!! im sorry I hurt you but I am not responsible for your actions and you hurt my crew whom I hold very dear!! I love ed but Fuck he really went too far those first episodes and he never makes up for it. they only ever focus on His Own self journey, not how he hurt and traumatized practically every other character.

"well, I think narratively izzy's death made sense but—" no!! no it fucking didnt!! im sorry but it was just lazy writing!! they didnt know what to do with him so whoops he gets shot in the dumbest way possible. like, this aint my first rodeo, it aint the first time ive seen a character start off on their character journey to happiness only for writers to give up on it and kill them off. it's a tiring fucking trope tbh and I really wish they hadnt fallen into this trap. like his death scene wasnt good either, if youre gonna do it at least focus on his relationship with the crew, you know, the people he came to accept as family? not the man Who Shot Off His Fucking Leg And Almost Killed Him? I know they had an important relationship but that shit should have been talked about way beforehand, it deserved closure. they should have acknowledged they werent good for each other and made peace with it. izzy deserved a death with people who actually made him happy. ALSO THEY BURY HIM ON FUCKING LAND?????? he spent his life at sea!!!! he is the most devoted out of everyone to being a pirate and you bury him next to your fucking inn???? fucking twats istg

lastly I swear they forgot stede is the main character. they forgot literally everything about how to write him. he gets No Focus in the finale, and every scene he is in is bullshit. I actually wanted to punch my screen every time there was a joke about him being incompetent or whatever. like, hello??? thought we left that shit in s1??? he had Multiple Episodes about learning to be a pirate and adjusting to his new life and gaining more skills but no. he is just silly old loserboy for his cool war criminal boyfriend now. literally no skills or experience whatsoever. ok sure yea thats totally how he acted the rest of the season. also the fuck is it with him staying behind to run the inn with ed?? wasnt the whole conflict last episode their different desires out of life, with ed wanting to start a normal life and stede wanting to be a pirate?? when the Fuck did he change his mind. who are you and have you done with my boy

honestly I feel bad because jenkins is actually a good writer and the whole fandom really expected a lot from a man making his second show, and I think there were a lot of budget cuts and production issues so I can see why it turned out this way. he is probably mad about this too, I bet the cast also, like even the acting in this episode didnt feel passionate, and thats saying a lot since these actors really love this show. im just frustrated. man. time to write fics ig

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Bakugou with an s/o who is NOT a morning person!

Request:-Can you do baku with a s/o who is like super grumpy in the mornings and how he'd handle them 🛐 • Like I bet he's a morning person bc he goes to bed at 8 30 pm 💀 and like how would he react/handle someone who was the opposite? Goes to bed at like 5 am and sleeps in until 3 or if they do get up before 10 am they're super grumpy and irritable •He gives me "im not dealing with your shit" vibes ♡ like brat tamer( @cloudy-zephyr )

Scenario:- bakugou With a reader who is a night owl~

Pairing:- bakugou x gn!reader

Genre:- fluff

Type:- oneshot

Well i think if you went to bed SIGNIFICANTLY later than him it’d irritate him but if you explain whyy you do he might not be as harsh.

Yh he hates not bein able to hold his s/o close at night but if your happy he learns to bear it.

Now on the subject of getting up late

IT IRRITATES HIM TO NO END

Cos like he wakes up and wants to start his day with you right?

But no

YOURE FAST ASLEEP UNTIL 3 IN THE GODDAM EVENING

But then again,he tries,to bear it to live with it

But eventually even he gets sick of it.

After about four weeks of this he decides

Nope you NEEE to get ur shit togetherrrr

so he’s DETERMINED to fix ur sleep schedule

He starts with waking time

Let me tell you,you went to bed at five thirty that morning

BUT LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THERES BE AN AIRHORN BURSTING YOUR EARS AT 10!

You woke up dazed,confused,scared shitless,and PISSED

and when you looked up,you saw yo mans

A smug smile on his face and the aforementioned airhorn in his hand

“Good morning sleepyhead”

Ohhh no

‘Nah ah’

Were your thoughts in that moment as your head fell back onto your pillow while you covered your ears with it like in the movies

“Piss off boom boom boy” was what came out in that moment and Bakugou kneww you were pissed

But he seriously didnt give a shit

You were gonna get used to waking up early

Whether you liked it or not

You on the other hand had a different plan,

Bakugou had tried this whole thing before but your commitment to not listening eventually made him give up

So you knew all you had to do was wait it out until history repeated itself.

And you did

For four continuous weeks but he wasn’t stopping

And on the first day of the fifth week you found yourself waking up on your own(much to your dismay)

You walked into the kitchen,pissed as ever and and there stood bakugou with a sarcastic smile on his face

As you sat down at the kitchen table he slid you your breakfast and you begrudgingly ate it

Bakugou was an asshole but he was and even better cook

“Well good morning sleepy

Head~”

Were the first words to come out if your mouth

“No,”was your reply,”bad morning”

He scoffed and started on his breakfast too

The next week onwards he started getting you to sleep at a reasonable time

How? Must be your question

Well

Force

He would physically grab you and carry you to bed

Or else the threat of unpluggin your device worked too

This was fairly easy for him to get you used to,because,to be frank,you loved katsu-cuddles

So maybe sleeping just a lil early wasnt so bad

Youd talk and cuddle eachother till you fell asleep and then wake up together the next morning

Even after you got used to this routine you were still no morning person

But hey!

Progress is progress right?

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Taglist open for anyone interested!

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 158 spoilers and thoughts but mostly it's just me laughing my ass off and also speculating on what happens, im still working on the novel but ill finish it soon trust <- has like ten billion different things she wants to do at the same time

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ARCOS AND MARBELLA IN THIS PANEL WAS ME FOR MOST IF NOT ALL OF THIS CHAPTER HELPPP LMFAOAOOO

javier you absolute fiend you ,,, you've learned so much,,, /aff

i figured that javier would tell them at least a semi-truth, or something like that to tide over the count/countess,,, their expressions here made me so worried for a moment,,,

LIKE THESE UUAGHGHHGHGHHHH that kind of anticipation is terrifying tbh like "has our son been dead this whole time, have we been living w someone else??" and the imminent grief looming over that thought i think got translated really well here the blank irises and the shadowed face im so ,,,, ueueueueueue

AND THEN TO GET HIT WITH THIS

HELP MEEEE HAHAHAHA BRAZEN JAVIER ROBOFACED JAVIER ITS REAL HES REAL LMFAOAOOOOO

OF ALL THE THINGS JAVIER COULD HAVE DONE TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION HE DECIDED TO EMULATE LLOYD I GIGGLED SO BAD I STARTED COUGHING

AND THE FULL COMMITMENT TOO TO THE BIT AND MAKING IT SEEM LIKE HE'S MORE FOULMOUTHED THAN HE LETS ON . AND SINCE JAVIER IS NORMALLY SO DEADPAN IT JUST. WORKS I GUESS HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS CRAZY

insane genuinely fucking insane i couldn't stop laughing HAHAHAHAA like this is completely absurd but the fact that it's coming from javier, someone who the count and countess completely trust at the moment, someone who's been by lloyd's side this whole time,,, PELASE HAHAHFHADHFDHSHAHA

the count and countess reacting too got me giggling a storm HAHA

also also early webtoon lloyd makes an appearance again i think it's really fun that the artist gives him the hairstyle from back then, before they changed his hairstyle heehee

oh his undershirt is also missing that X that's usually there in the current tged style too i didnt notice that at first but another little callback!!!

AND THEN JAVIER FINISHING OFF THE BIT WITH. SEPPUKU??? WHAT THE HELL ALDKFJLSDKJF ?!?!?!

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS LIKE HE DIDNT HAVE TO but i guess it did kind of knock the count/countess out of their stupor bc by seeing something so insane from javier they think javier rlly regrets giving lloyd BRAIN DAMAGE LAKJDFSHDF FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGE

i did see some ppl say that its kind of odd that they thank javier for this and thats fair yeah i dont think id be ok w finding out "oh one of my loved ones gave another one of my loved ones MEMORY LOSS"

but i think it could be that they're relieved to find out (or are inclined to believe) that their lloyd is "still alive" - he's just changed, not dead (except he is dead, so javier succeeded in fooling them without telling very severe lies)

honestly with how their expressions were they were probably expecting the worst, esp w all the evidence stacked against lloyd. can u imagine that despair, realizing that the person you've finally come to love is not the person you thought they were?? that the person you thought you had a second chance with, wasn't that person at all? i bet all those regrets were washing over the count and countess all at once,,, and then the relief that comes when it's revealed (when they're lead to believe) that no, it's the same person. this second chance was with the same lloyd, not someone else. that's still their son. oooooh imagine the relief, the realization that you don't have to mourn, you don't have to grieve for a death that happened under your nose

i think that's why they reacted this way, instead of worrying over javier wacking lloyd upside the head; like, what matters now is that lloyd frontera is alive (to them) and that both lloyd and javier have grown and changed themselves and the estate for the better. that the child and the knight they raised have a bright future and isn't that what any parent wants?

tho ofc they dont realize that their assumption is not the truth, but well they dont need to know that,,, for everyones sakes,,, nice play javier

when lloyd shows up and we saw this panel i thought we were gonna have a nice moment between the two of them where lloyd thanks javier for covering for him and hiding the truth but then-

THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS HAHAHAHAHAHA /AFF

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO DEVIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

and then lloyds conversation with the count/countess after PLEASE

yknow this is kind of like that bargaining strategy where you propose something completely absurd and crazy so that the other party says no, but then you offer your real request that is objectively tasking but the other party thinks of it as lesser than the former request so they'll grant it . whatever the heck that strat is called thats what this feels like HAHAHAHA

AND ARCOS TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR LLOYD AND

AHFGSDLJKFSDGHH THRTHOWS UP

lloyd says "all i need is for you to stay healthy" and god that fucking. hurts ouw ouuuhhh owiee oww BUDDY U CAN HAVE BOTH U CAN PROTECT UR FAMILY WHILE ALSO RELYING ON THEM!!! LLOYD!!! LLLOOOYYYDDD

and yet of course this is smth that suho!lloyd would say ,,, he wasnt able to help his parents w their struggles back then but now he can and now it's all he wants to do ,,, i cant even explain how emo this exchange makes me i can't quite put it into words even after a whole day of sitting on this,,, especially after the events of 157 like lloyd im worried abt u!! he doesnt even realize he doesnt even realize the overwork the possible spiral that can come from trying to preserve this aghhh AAGGHHH

sorry for losing it anyways moving on, the title effects linking yippie!!! it was super fun seeing all the teams and all the people he's brought together,,, truly this was our greatest estate development /j

ALSO JAVIER BEING BY HIMSELF ON A TEAM LMFAOOOO "the team that does everything" HAHAHAHAHA

AND THEN AND THEN the last reveal of this episode THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN HELLO!@?!?!??!@?!?@?!@! OH MY GOD

raphael looks a litte different here i could've sworn he was a turtle /j

BUT YEAH HOLY SHIT WOW i mean it makes sense, if theres a hell theres probably a heaven, and there was that line that javier said where he was like "alicia liking lloyd is more ridiculous than suho actually being an archangel" MAN I SHOULDA SEEN THIS COMING LMAO but im still excited to see where this goes

like the jewel of truth construction being ILLEGAL? what r they gonna do??? like,,, take the parts away?!?! how will lloyd avoid their like, divine punishment or whatever?? is it considered a crime to start mythical construction??? i wonder what their ruling will be

also the exiled student guy (forgot his name) and lupellan what r they up to will this interfere w them?? or with lloyd? a lot of stuff lined up oh GOD lmao

anyways thats all for right now, as always i yap more on my twitter if youd like to see more shenanigans from me, see yall next week!! !!!!

[conanssummerchild]

i was just thinking about the look on down from the bridge moments in rick and morty bcs im obsessed with them and i started like way overanalysing shit (as always tee hee) so im posting it here

so like while both are following a really traumatising moment for one character that doesnt feel traumatic for another (morty being absolutely horrified seeing his own bludgeoned dead body, rick unphased, just another day in his life lol. and rick killing the man hes destroyed himself hunting for half his life and realising he doesnt feel any better, while for morty it was just another adventure) but then there's also differences, lets break them down >:)

sorry for the shitty image quality as always lmao

morty's look on down from the bridge moment:

okay so right before it starts the last thing we see is rick being very dismissive of how horrifying this is for morty

im not sure tbh if rick is really aware of how traumatic this is for morty (clueless little man <3) but morty does quite clearly express his horror and rick dismisses it, kinda showing how morty is often pushed to the side and ignored by characters on the show

next we see morty looking down at the corpse with his traumatised look and rick nudges him to get moving, instead of comforting him or smth

again showing that morty is like dismissed and kinda emotionally neglected, especially by rick, but also by other characters

the next bit is just him burying the body, just showing again what it is that has him in this dissociative state

pretty self explanatory

then, and heres where it starts to get interesting, we see morty watching his parents arguing

(sorry, hes not watching them in that specific shot but he does when the angle changes yk)

obviously he's having a Moment about them not being his original parents and how hes in a whole new dimension and no one even knows except him and his emotionally inept grandpa, but also he stands there for a good moment and his parents don't even notice hes there, they just ignore him

after that, we see summer and rick sitting on the sofa, rick watching tv and summer on her phone

morty just stands there and stares at them and summer doesnt even look up (we've already established rick isnt going to) its like hes invisible to the people around him

and then we just get a zoomed in shot of morty's horrified face aaand roll credits

(no picture attatched, sorry, i think we all know what mortys face looks like)

morty is highlighted here, the focus is on him for the audience, we are supposed to see how shaken up this has left morty. no one else is in the shot because no one elses reaction is relevant right now

also i'd like to point out that everything being done by others in mortys lodftb moment is completely mundane, beth and jerry arguing (pretty regular for them) rick just watching tv, normal tv not even interdimensional cable, and summer on her phone. none of this is special or different, this is an average day being ignored for morty, except this time he needs his family more than ever, but still nothing changes

mortys problem portrayed is that ppl dont value him enough or dont pay attention to him. his parents can be emotionally neglectful, he and summer don't have a super close relationship (in later seasons theyre a bit closer), and rick is, well... rick. he pretends not to care about morty, ignores most of what he says, dismisses his feelings, etc.

aaand moving on

rick's look on down from the bridge moment:

this contrasts morty's moment where he is not okay but rick ignores it bcs here morty directly asks if rick is okay and rick lies about it (if u look closely u can see his pants are in fact beginning to catch on fire /j), so morty is chill now bcs he believes him

morty then goes in for a hug (im not attatching an image, im sure you've seen it 100 times) and this is our first sign ricks lying (well i mean. apart from context clues) beacuse usually he would push morty away or complain or be awkward (like in fear no mort lol) or uncomfortable but he just remains completely passive, his expression barely even changes

morty then goes on to ramble excitedly about their epic adventure because rick said hes fine but very quickly mortys voice is drowned out and lodftb begins to play. here morty is blurred out of focus and the camera zooms into rick

okay, so preceding it we have morty asking rick if he's okay, to which he responds yeah (liar 🤨)

this is, again, different from morty's moment because while morty's issue is being ignored, rick is very far from ignored, his issue is that he just like goes through life and the people around him don't realise how much he's hurting. morty isn't seen at all, rick is seen plenty, but he's never understood, not really. does this make sense? idk

anyway, going on, morty keeps contentedly talking in the ship whike rick stares blanky ahead, but when he realises morty expects him to answer, he gives him a nod, since it's whats expected so morty wont think somethings wrong (also the cinematography of the broken ship really adds to the scene i feel.

again, the contrast here is clear, morty is like completely frozen in his scene, and no one notices or cares at all. rick on the other hand contines to go through the motions as he's expected to despite his strong emotional turmoil going on, which we as an audience can see

morty keeps talking as they get back home, but eventually does leave and go idk to bed ig, leaving rick standing in the garage, looking blank and empty

i couldve picked a better picture sorry i just. tell me he doesnt look like the pixar lamp here, im sorry lmao back to serious ok

so next we see him shutting off the power to his rick prime hunting room

this ofc shows its finally over, but the fact that they leave him stanfing in the dark there shows how he doesnt feel better or fufilled like he wished he would

okay, now we get to his family being shown, first up is summer, theyre sitting on the sofa much like in mortys moment, but morty isnt in this one and also summer is not on her phone (unusual) but watching a movie with has popcorn, and she seems happy, she seemingly asks rick to grab some drinks, which he does silently without even complaining (not usual for the whiniest man in the universe lol)

anyway here summer is more cheerful than usual, not just on her phone like she normally always is

next we see the two beths and jerry washing space beths ship, theyre having fun, laughing, messing around and spraying echother with the hose playfully, while rick watches from the window, away from them, actually right when the lyrics playing are "everybody seems so far away from me"

again, this isnt like mortys scene, where everyone is just having an ordinary day and not seeing how everything has changed for him or even looking at him, here everyone seems to be having a lot of fun, without rick, summer and morty both address him directly, but neither realise how Not Okay he is

and lastly we see the whole family at the dinner table, everyone is smiling and chatting amicably, rick is just sitting there still, not even eating. however, he is then addressed and seems to need a moment to zone back in, but when he does he grins and (assumedly?) cracks some kind of joke/says smth that makes everyone laugh (except jerry, who just looks kinda confused this whole scene lmao) and everyone goes back to their meals, rick also taking a bite of his own. however when everyone looks away, his smile drops again and cut to creditssss

the shot doesnt zoom back in on him now like it does for morty in his scene, because the fact that rick is not well has already been established now, instead the angle shows the whole family beacause the point is to show how everyones happy and think he is too because he's putting on His Act, so like the smile fades to show he is not okay but the angle and zoom stays the same to show that it is not seen or like understood to be that way. ykwim?

so here its portrayed that ricks problem is that people dont realise that hes hurting. he comes off as a jerk all the time because of how much suffering he holds inside, how much is going on in his mind (or i mean a lot of the time he just. is a jerk, but this isnt abt that rn), like when bird person tells morty rick is in great pain and morty says "come on bird person, rick isnt that complicated, hes jist a huge asshole" people dont realise it bcs of how much he struggles being vulnerable and talking abt his feelings but my boy is hurtingg :(, so this scene is kinda showing that they assume hes fine but really hes in a lot of emotional turmoil

idk im kinda losing the thread here but i mean i hope this makes at least a little sense, im obsessed with look on down from the bridge :3