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burthummels · 1 year ago

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ok i changed my mind about drawing all the hair colours bc that's actually a lot of work that i don't have the energy for rn (silly art block and whatnot) and i don't wanna make u wait forever bc i'd forget etc etc i'm so sorry i'm a massive mess rn

ANYWAY i wanna preface this list by saying that i think black is a great colour on all of them! thinking specifically about that time jimin got compared to prince eric <3 and tae's recent pretty black curls (gone but never forgotten) but they all look good with black hair and i will not hear otherwise 😤

joon:

i think joon looks really good with light hair in general but i am particularly weak for grape!joon <3 his spring day/not today soft purple hair is everything to me

jin:

u are so so right about purple jin but may i offer u blond and pink jin as well! i think that almost platinum blond makes him look so ethereal and it very much fits the way his voice sounds to me. and shoutout to the pink for being so pretty on him

yoongi:

ok tbh i think black is his best colour however!! this ashy brown hair is super pretty

and shoutout to platinum blond agust d bc this was a Look he is so iconic for doing this

hobi:

i second the reddish brown tbh that is the colour i wish my hair was rn but i am realising very quickly that i can't pull it off quite like him ksfjhgkfd </3 anyway i also love whatever is going on with his hair in the spring day mv i think that should be an honourable mention

jimin:

jimin is a natural blond to me too tbh. especially when it looks all soft and fluffy i think he looks so cozy and gentle and huggable!! i'm also very weak for the pink tho like spring day jimin is everything to me and i was so happy when the pink made a comeback

tae:

tae looks good in literally every colours it's so unfair to the rest of us </3 out of the really bright colours my faves were red and blue tho! tae in the save me mv really imprinted on me in ways i can't describe dkfgjh and then when he had blue hair and jimin had pink hair 💞💞💞 looking so bright and colourful together i love them sm <33

but also!! this fluffy curly brown on him!!! when people were saying he looked like a poodle!! so so soft i fucking love it i want to play with his hair

jungkook:

i think i'm mainly used to seeing black/brown on him bc he had those colours for so long but! cherry kook or even just the red tips that i don't remember but found when i was looking up his red hair <3 idk there's just sth about this look that really hits to me

omg grape!joon how could i ever forget !!!! the sweetest angel anctually !!!! i love light hair on him :( it's just so !!! aah oh wowowow he's so my everything shaped and these pictures just prove it actually like i'd do anything for him

oh yes i am so glad you offered up blonde and pink jinnie !! he is so ethereal and soft and he just looks like he should be a prince somewhere like ,,,, he's so right when he calls himself worldwide handsome like he KNOWS he's so pretty and he's right

ASHY BROWN WITH THE HEADBAND LIKE I THINK IM GONNA SHORT CIRCUIUT !!!!!!! AND THEN PLATINUM AGUST D?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!!! LIKE ARE U TRYING TO MAKE ME EXPLODE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOD no yoongi just ,,,,,,, og i become insane any time i look at him actually like there is something inside of my body that just insantly gives me the feeling of wanting to bite on glass and scream like ,,,,,, GOD min yoongi

my best friend hobi my best friend !!!! the red hair !!!! ooooh that hobi is just has such a special place in my heart like idk i look at him and i am simply filled with joy and happiness and my saddness melts away (that's any hobi but red hair hobi just <333 baby boy) and yes !!!! the spring day hair w the red streaks !!! aaah he looks so cute in it 🥺 and his eyes look so pretty in that photo too and that choker of im 🥺🥺🥺

NATURAL BLONDE JIMIN STANS RISE !!!!!!!! yes when it's soft and fluffy !!!!! oh it's perfect and i jsut wanna give him all the hugs !!! and you're sosososososo correct about pink jimin like that is also just a precious huggable angel sorry and i think i'd love to see a pink!jimin comeback again i think it would bring world peace

the fact that tae just...... looks good in everything... im sick to my stomach.... how is it FAIR !!! OH BLUE AND PINK JIMIN !!!! MY COTTON CANDY TWINS !!!!! THEY JUST !!!! OH THEY JUST LOOK SO PERFECT TOGETHER !!!! (maybe they're more jollyrancher colored but it doesn't have the same ring) but oh tae in the save me mv is imprinted in my mind and i will rewatch it jsut for himsdkfjhlsd but poodle!tae !!! oh what a sweet boy !! that live where jk was just putting forks in his hair sdjkfhaldskfh

OH JUNGKOOK MY SWEET BABY STAR CANDY JUNGKOOK WHO IWOULD LITERALLY DO ANYTHING FOR !!!!! i look at him and i am instintaniously the heart eyes emoji like i can't help it that just who i am and jungkook is my babygirl that's how the world is !!!! but yes the reeeeed cherry !!!! it's so good !!! i love when you can still see his roots but there's color there i think that's the best way to do color for his hair !!!! oh it's just <33333 wow,,,,, im looking at those photos and im simply just here to be a in love w jungkook like i think that's what im put on this planet for (also soobin behind jk in the first photo made me giggle a little sdjhfakld)

!!!! spring day bangtan is just something that can be so personal and so full of love and emotion like.... wow.... !!!

#and yesss i agree their black hair is so !!!! oh they're just all so pretty wow !!!!!!#anyone who disagrees i will fight !!!!#and don't ever apologize for being a mess !!!!!!!!! >:( im literally right there w you being a massive mess rn so don't worry <3 #mdverse #ask #not glee

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thedegenerateasexual · 7 years ago

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i’m liveblogging chapters 2-7 (they’re short chapters, i don’t wanna make too many posts, but this one is actually super long, so whatever) of let’s talk about love under the cut - i started on my main, but there’s too much sex stuff in it to keep going there (sigh) so i’m moving it over here. i should have just done it here to begin with, smh. (bolding still mine)

After five days of awkwardly inching around each other in their room, [Margot] had told Alice she wanted a “clean break” right before she finished moving out. Didn’t even want to be friends anymore because asexuality was unnatural.

(Okay, so maybe Margot didn’t say that exactly, but that’s how it felt.)

hey, margot can get fucked, this is how people wind up internalizing some serious bullshit

Moschoula had tanned skin, the kind of color that implied she was most likely mixed rather than white, with kinky, natural burnt-orange hair pulled up into a bun on the top of her head.

Cutie Code: Yellow, no question about it.

An intense obsession with aesthetics had taken Alice by surprise in high school and she had begun to code her reactions. She had created Alice’s Cutie Code™, complete with a color wheel for easy categorizations—from Green to Red, with all the colors in between.

HTIS IS SO CUTE this is not unlike Asexual Bingo what a universal Ace Mood™ to make up internal little categorizations like this (also moschoula sounds like a babe)

[Alice] had met Moschoula and her friends during a Pride rally at school. She was the only girl in that group who didn’t snub Alice for being bi.

HEY AND THERE’S ANOTHER THING bi people get so much bullshit for being bi so even tho she isn’t out as ace the fact that she’s biromantic still puts her in a place where she’s less likely to feel welcome in queer spaces like if she got snubbed for that no wonder she doesn’t wanna come out as ace

It had all been Margot’s idea. She had kissed Alice first. She had convinced her to date. She had wanted this, wanted her. And Alice had fallen for it and Margot and everything they were and could be. She had believed in Margot and their relationship. Had thought herself to death about it, and each night it resurrected itself in her dreams. Margot made her want this specific brand of happiness. Made her believe she could have it.

Feeling stupid didn’t even cover it.

i feel like I’M the one sitting in a coffeeshop and crying my eyes out

How could Margot say something like that?

What made sex so integral that people couldn’t separate the emotional love they felt from one physical act?

Love shouldn’t hinge solely on exposing your physical body to another person. Love was intangible. Universal. It was whatever someone wanted it to be and should be respected as such. For Alice, it was staying up late and talking about nothing and everything and anything because you didn’t want to sleep—you’d miss them too much. It was catching yourself smiling at them because wow, how does this person exist?? before they caught you. It was the intimacy of shared secrets. The comfort of unconditional acceptance. It was a confidence in knowing no matter what happened that person would always be there for you.

If Alice couldn’t even tell Margot she was asexual, then no, she hadn’t been in love.

YOU GO ALICE NO YOU WEREN’T & also she sounds like a jerk anyway

Moschoula tapped the back of Alice’s hand. “It’s good to see you smile.”

“Only for you.”

“You know my girlfriend hates it when you say things like that to me.”

“Adoration and continuous compliments are how I express my affections.” Alice rolled her eyes. “And it’s not like I say it in front of her. There’s literally nothing to be jealous of.”

Moschoula sighed. “I think she just wants you to, uh, compliment her, too.”

“Oh.” Alice pursed her lips. “I thought she didn’t like me, but I think I can arrange that.”

1. is moschoula poly because that’d be rad 2. what a mood what are friends for if you can’t compliment them all the time like obviously never ever give out fake compliments but Still (also hey look at that! ace can still be affectionate to lots of people! it’s one of those base things u know objectively but like it’s so nice to see up close)

chapter 3:

she found a pic of her and margot while moving in w/ her bestie and her bestie’s bf and she’s sad and i’m sad:

She noticed Margo’s giant mound of hair before anything else about her—it was that natural sunlit blond tempered with streaks of light and dark brown that sent customers in droves to hair salons. It complemented her beautiful olive skin, soft gray eyes, and that wickedly easy smile always up for a challenge.

She was Cutie Code: Orange-Red and then she was just Margot before becoming Alice’s Margot, but now she wasn’t anything.

Because Alice was a Corpse.

Because she was unnatural and incapable of loving someone.

(God, when in the hell was this going to stop hurting?)

this shit is exactly what i mean! she even knows better than to believe it and it still hits below the belt!

omg okay so she is out to some people!! her bestie’s bf at least:

[Ryan] plucked the picture from her fingers. “It’s for your own good,” he said when she protested. “I just can’t believe she said that to you. I mean, I know you’re not lying, but she seemed so nice.”

“It’s the nice ones you have to watch out for.” She crossed her arms. “Or whatever that stupid saying is. Why can’t I find someone who loves being with me, as is, as much as I love being with them? Romantically. Am I asking for too much?”

“I say this cautiously because it’s not the only answer, but maybe try dating someone who’s ace, too.”

She scoffed. “Long-distance relationships are not my jam, and that’s probably all I’d find. The Internet is great, a lot of my friends live there, but I want a partner who’s here with me.” She flicked a white speck off a black stuffed bear before setting it down on her sliver of a desk. The thing was barely three feet wide. “I’m tired of putting myself out there,” she mumbled.

god damn what a mood

“If you need to cry, then cry, but just promise me you won’t do it in front of Feenie, please.” He glanced at the doorway before lowering his voice. “I’ve already had to talk her out of driving to Margot’s house this week. Twice.”

“But she lives in Iowa.”

“Twice,” he repeated. “You know how she gets.”

Feenie had always been (lovingly) overprotective of Alice. If she had told Feenie what Margot had actually said, Feenie would probably disappear into the night and her mug shot would be everywhere in the morning.

feenie’s a good egg.

Back then, Alice … didn’t even know if she had wanted to date yet, but she also didn’t have any doubts about her asexuality. She had spent countless hours thinking and coming to terms with what that meant, the kind of future she wanted to have, and if that could possibly include another person.

The bottom line was her body had never shown so much as a flicker of sexual interest in anyone. But that didn’t mean she liked being alone. That didn’t mean she wasn’t lonely. That didn’t mean she didn’t want romance and didn’t want to fall in love. It didn’t mean she couldn’t love someone just as fiercely as they loved her.

this is also a mood like…i don’t know ANY ace person who hasn’t at one point had to think about this - like to so many people to be asexual is to be alone and that’s just facts. and yeah, of course it’s not true objectively, but when it’s your life and you’re looking at all those long years in your future it’s not as easy to feel so sure

omg so her parents called and her mom is apparently kind of overbearing…alicve is going to law school! her whole family is lawyers so alice must also be lawyer except she hasn’t declared her major yet

loving this parental conflict tbh like as good as the ace stuff is i love that she can be more than that

chapter 4:

ALICE IS MEME GARBAGE PASS IT ON

Cara waved back before pointing toward the table closest to the elevator.

Alice looked—her Cutie Code™ immediately shot up to Red.

(That hadn’t happened at first sight since the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last year and never in the wild.)

She stopped in front of the elevator, facing forward, and pressed the button. A curious, nervous sensation wriggled and rooted itself down inside her chest. Alice looked over her shoulder again, blinking rapidly at the person reading on his phone, completely oblivious.

Only his profile was visible. Tanned skin. Dark eyebrows. Strong chin. And a tiny curl of hair brushing against his forehead. He held his thumbnail in between his teeth, his index finger curving over his top lip, the rest of his hand curled into a loose fist. Most likely to hide his smile—whatever he was reading was making him adorably happy.

Her Cutie Code™ ticked upward until it strained against the top.

The elevator pinged. Alice shrugged off the sensation and walked inside. Turning around, she pressed the button for the fifth floor.

Just as the doors began to close, the Cutie Code: Red person in question lifted his head, looking right at Alice. She staggered backward, clutching the banister as the elevator began to ascend.

Kill Bill sirens blared in Alice’s head.

KILL BILL SIRENS LOL

also like…what a mood. every once in awhile it’s like a lightning strike. and u just have to stagger a lil bit

The elevator hummed and whirred, the floors illuminated and darkened as they were passed, and the air inside wrapped her in its warm, fake-pine smelling embrace. Same as always. Nothing had changed, magically making today the day she became moments away from suffering a massive heart attack.

Sure, she hadn’t worked out for a while (see: ever) and her diet primarily consisted of ramen noodles during lean times (see: all the time), but this was a bit overkill. Her body had, at least, a minimum of fifteen years before she had to worry about that kind of thing.

Out of the elevator and in the hall, she took a moment to catch her breath. It was a hop, skip, and a jump to the break room and she wasn’t sure if it was empty. The library didn’t have many employees, but the last thing she needed was someone to spot her and ask if she was okay.

(In her mind, she was sure she had that whole deer about to die in the headlights look going on.)

OMG ALICE GIRL CALM DOWN LOL this is so cute im gonna die

Alice blew out a huff of breath. Right, then. Time for work. The continued cute analysis would have to wait.

(Maybe he would still be downstairs.…)

(FOCUS, WOMAN!)

(Right!)

ic annot believe this

She tried to take a sly peek to see who it was and … Jesus.

(Sweet God in heaven, have mercy on her soul.)

Her Cutie Code™ blasted straight past the Red zone. If it were a pressure gauge, the glass would have cracked right down the middle.

He was gorgeous—and that was not a word Alice threw around lightly. Not just “Hi, I’m the new boy next door” gorgeous, but the kind of gorgeous that would make you slap your mama. The kind of gorgeous you’d stab your best friend of twenty years in the back, set her house on fire, and drive off into the sunset with her husband for. Have sex in the break room at work even though you know there are security cameras in there gorgeous.

As if she’d actually do any of those things.

She always laughed at characters who lost every last drop of their common sense on TV and in movies when someone too attractive for words crossed their path. If this guy was on a show, he’d be considered the kind of gorgeous that would cause midseason plot twists and act-two spinouts, leaving the viewer on the edge of their seat because their beloved characters were goners after looking into those dark brown eyes.

And he stared at her.

(Too much cute.)

(A veritable cutie-induced overload.)

There was a place for cute and every cute in its place. Whoever he was hadn’t just exceeded her scale. He had broken it.

Cutie Code: Black—the Next Generation.

It had to either be him or the heart attack had been replaced by a disorienting fever virus. This was how it happened in the movies: some poor soul (Alice) was doing great, having a perfectly normal (and punctual!) day. And then, in some innocuous way, they’d have contact with Patient Zero (him) and boom—uncontrollable sweating, fever, chills, hemorrhaging, and then … death.

This wouldn’t kill her (possibly), but she had an idea what it was.

Attraction: The Final Frontier.

The Fatal-est Attraction.

Death Becomes Attraction.

im sry this was such a long excerpt but i am absolutely cackling like 1. YEP THERE IT IS LOL 2. the bolded is such a mood 3. this technically makes her gray-ace!!!!! wow i love her

so he’s working at the library with her and the rest of this chapter is her showing him how to clock in and using as few words as possible bc she’s wigging out and like forgot how to talk like a normal human being. lowkey he keeps grinning at her so i think he’s got her number

also, he has blue hair. wonderful

chapter 5:

“Why are you crying? What happened?” Feenie’s concerned face filled the screen on Alice’s phone.

OMG HONEY PLEASE UR GONNA BE OKAY i can’t believe this i want to hug her that’s the first line of chapter five

BACKSTORY TIME:

In elementary school, while all of Alice’s friends had talked about boys they liked, she had kept quiet.

In middle school, she had pretended to have a crush on Patrick Furlong so she would have someone to talk about, too.

(This was where she had begun to perfect the art of playing along.)

In high school, Alice had gone all out, pretending to be hopelessly in love with Sam Oliphant. She had damn near snatched the this love is our destiny crown right off Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald Crane Winthrop’s head.

oh damn mood lmao i spent so much time in school pretending to have crushes on boys

But this had been where Alice messed up. Turned out, Sam had a thing for Alice, too. A different kind of thing, but a thing nonetheless.

He had asked her out. She had to say yes.

Oh No

Alice had been trying to sort out the difference between romantic attraction (which she felt) and sexual attraction (which she didn’t). By the end of their first week together, she knew for a fact that she didn’t even want to be Sam’s friend anymore. He was an awful human being. A human-shaped garbage fire. A waste of space and genetic material.

But finally, finally, she fit in perfectly with her friends.

(Peer pressure was a helluva drug.)

ARE YOU KIDDING THIS EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME LOL (he STROKED my arm and SNAPPED my bra stap, WITHOUT permission, IN the hallway while EVERYONE was changing classes)

the reason i didn’t break up with him wasn’t because of peer pressure (i didn’t really have many friends) because i didn’t want to be mean and hurt his feelings (looking back: bananas, but he had like…….bought me presents), but then he kissed another girl in the cafeteria so i was free to shove a mean locker in his letter and never speak to him again, thank the good lord

Normal felt like a constant state of despair, but they had stopped teasing her. Had stopped giving her pitying looks, calling her “innocent” and excluding her from sleepovers because she had nothing romantic to gossip about.

Fast-forward six months, she’s dumped with a new nickname. The Corpse. Because kissing him had been an ordeal to overcome. Because she never seemed interested in touching him (see: jacking him off). Because she had just lay there while Sam had sex with her, and he had told everyone.

lmao im gonna start crying again wow. wow. she hated him and still let him & he did her like that. okay. this is fine. i want to fly out there & kill him

Whenever Alice thought about that time, two things stuck out:

One—Francine Loren’s mock whisper in the locker room: “I heard she didn’t moan. Not even when he went down on her.”

Two—the curiously soft sound of Feenie’s fist connecting with Francine’s face layered with the instantaneous crunch of bone cracking.

FEENIE IS A GOOD EGG AND I LOVE HER what teenage me wouldn’t have given for someone to punch a particular person in the face for me

Feenie standing up for her gave Alice the courage to tell her friend the truth. She had confessed she thought something might be wrong, so one day, after health class, they had talked to their teacher, who then said the word: asexual.

man…………………….look………..as much as i bitch and whine about a lot of ace media (see: fic, there is no ace media) being like This Person Is Asexual Here Is A Vocabulary Lesson college 101 course type stuff…can you FUCKIGN imagine if a health teacher could just tell you this shit? my health teachers werent even allowed to talk about gay people, or orgasms - one time when someone asked how you know sex is over the reply was “it’s over when the man ejaculates” - imagine if you could just go to someone and get told there was nothing wrong with you!

like alice dealt with this for SIX MONTHS and let someone she hated touch her body and that is HORRIBLE enough right there, but like i hear of stories of 60-year-olds with kids realizing that shit about themselves, & like…not to get personal! (about to get personal) i was with someone who was, uh, really horrible, for YEARS, & he was giving me all that rhetoric margot was spewing on the daily

& it took SO MUCH internet reading to figure it out and even when i did i was like, no, no, i’m demi, i can be attracted to him because i love him, & while part of that was bc i was afraid of making him angry (horrible! he was horrible) another part of me was because i was SO SURE (going back to what they talked about in the first chapter) that if i couldn’t enjoy sex w/ him i couldn’t love him. (so was he!) like….i figured out what i was and it felt right as in correct but not right as in good. my IMMEDIATE kneejerk reaction was “no god not this i cannot be this there has to be some way to make myself not this”

anyway sorry that sure was a textwall of unnecessary bullshit i’m so relieved no one will be interested enough to read this post but this book is Real & touches me deeply is all im saying

Feenie eyed her, keeping her face neutral. “And you think you’re attracted to him?”

“What else could it be? It’s not just me appreciating how cute something is like I usually do. He’s beautiful, Feenie. I almost melted into primordial soup of Alice.”

“And he’s so beautiful, you think you want to have sex with him?”

Alice fidgeted in her seat. “I’m not sure.”

Feenie gave her a withering look. “Okay, well, how did he make you feel?”

“Like I was stupid. I’m serious! Don’t look at me like that. My mind went completely blank and filled up with white noise.”

AWWW HONEY she is crying because she felt attraction & see on the other end even once you’ve finally internalized all the Good Shit™ sometimes that will happen and ur like Oh No I’m a Bad Ace I Really Was Just Broken All Along god that’s rough buddy i’m so glad she has such a good best friend

The Cutie Code™ was a fun game, but it was also a system used for critical analysis—Alice’s way of processing the different kinds of attraction everyone else seemed to experience. She only shared her system/game with those whose opinions she trusted, to see how her coding compared to theirs.

It was about feeling—the level of emotions it could evoke from her, how likely it would be to make her squee, and most important, how did her body physically respond to it.

A naked, muscular male chest was Code: Red for Feenie. Meanwhile, it was Uncodable for Alice. Over time, it expanded to include everything, and Alice had become obsessed with it.

i love that she has this way of classifying things internally and like…that it’s different for everybody like my internal way of classifying things is not at all like this but it’s all valid n shit

She needed to push it to the back of her mind, get some perspective. Tomorrow, when she got to work, everything would be the way it was before she ever laid eyes on Takumi. She’d call it a fluke, yes, a one-off event, due to her body short-circuiting from stress. It would not happen again.

chapter 6:

Oh dear God.

She had been wrong. So very, very wrong.

lmao

The feelings, the sensations, came right back, flooding into her like they had never faded. Alice had always wondered what physical attraction would feel like, and while she didn’t necessarily dislike it, she wished there were a button she could press to turn it back off.

oh MOOD. me daily when i see Certain People: that’s enough of that allo bullshit, thanks

And she was still mystified. And attracted. Like a giant dumbstruck moth to a supernaturally beautiful bug zapper. Screaming was most definitely not in Alice’s best interests, but that didn’t stop the urge to want to do it.

alice is SO valid i love and support her

Essie was determined to crack the Cutie Code™. Once, it baffled her how a painted image of the aurora borealis could surpass her own Code: Yellow. Essie had spent a solid twenty minutes arguing how she was more attractive than some “weird, squiggly green lights in the sky.”

There’s no way Alice would admit that Takumi was Code: Black. Once she explained it, vainer-than-vain Essie might lovingly murder her.

cutie code is also valid i love that like it encompasses everything and not just people that’s such a cool look into the way that other people work - this is the kind of shit i mean when i say being ace is about more than not being attracted to other people - just like how when you’re gay you don’t do all that Straight Culture BS like saying babies have boy/girlfriends or whatever - like, being ace, it’s often a terribly lonely, isolating experience that can be full of self-loathing, but it’s a contemplative one too, and when romance is off the table (by choice or not) there can be so much joy in the other kinds of connections you make with people, anyway i absolutely love the cutie code

chapter 7:

there’s this whole long thing about her sister beign like CALL ME and alice being like LMAO NO which is also a mood

omg and then while shes waitin on her bus takumi sits down next to her

“Do you want a ride?”

A ride. In his car. Alone.

Good God.

She shook her head.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”

“I’m fine. All the time. I mean, I take the bus. All the time.” She gave herself a mental high five for forming actual words.

this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen

“Are,” Takumi began slowly, “you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why?”

“You seem kind of”—he moved farther down the seat away from her, eyes concerned—“tense.”

girl i know

“Still not feeling talkative, huh?” he teased.

“It’s your fault,” she blurted, making him laugh.

“Is that right?” He tilted his head to the side, smiling while biting his bottom lip.

A severe hot flash ripped through her, level: wildfire. It started in her head and scorched its way downward until it singed the coral pink nail polish off her toes. It may have been due to embarrassment or possibly desire (???), because, at that moment, they felt eerily similar to her.

desire (???) is the BIGGEST ace mood

She knew that look.

The Look. The one a person used when they tried to figure out if they liked what they saw enough to date. Not even a month ago, she wished people would stop giving her that look so she wouldn’t ever have to explain about being asexual. Did she want Takumi to find her attractive? She wasn’t sure, because what if he did? What if he asked her out?

What if, what if, what if?

Why, why, why?

Margot’s smiling face popped into her head. A warning. This was the beginning, and regardless of what happened with Takumi in the middle, everything would end with that one word. He’d want to know. She’d have to explain.

OH NOOOOOO this is so sad like………yeah obviously you’re gonna stop bothering lmao when you already know how it will end. garbage! that’s garbage!

anyway With That i unfortunately have to sleep it’s 6am

but this is the best book EVER

#ltal #personal #too personal lol w/e #this is the best book EVER!!!!!!

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