#tbh prolly the only thing i'll finish for this thing

[fluffyartbl0g]

Ohh my God the most recent comic, when it's spelled out like that, speed running paradise, fighting an admiral sun God thing happening way early than any of this should be it's any wonder ace isn't in worse shape in this let alone seeing sabo again because it's two years early and he would probably be fresh into white beard crew im picturing *jinbei the warlord I just finished fighting days on end to exhaustion is joining your crew?* "I give up, it's too much at once, there are to meany others to be more concerned about" their concern on white beards ship should be warning about black beard before the bastard gets the 1st stupid strong devil fruit.

YEYSYEYSYESYEYSYRFSEUDYGTYUHSDOGUHFDGUDFUH!!!!!! Like I drew Ace getting kinda choked up in the second page when listing things because,,, man he really was worried. I dont think he was like losing sleep type worried until he found out Luffy and his gang had a pretty intense encounter with an admiral.

It's only been like 1.5 to 2 years since Ace last left Dawn Island and sparred with Luffy, so even if he's improved a lot, there just cant be any way his 15 year old baby brother would be able to handle an Admiral- HECK he can barely handle an admiral. So when he found out they had an encounter, I assume his stomach just dropped and full on big brother freak out mode started happening.

Like he always had a mild worry niggling in the back of his mind, but Ace has his own adventures and his own nakama now, he's got stuff to do and at the pace Luffy is going at, it seems like explanations will be coming soon anyways.

Luckily this whole admiral encounter thing happened shortly before Luffy found Ace again, because every second Ace was waiting on Whitebeard's ship after he found out about it was another second away from Ace just going completely ballistic and shooting off to find his baby bro. The Whitebeards were real good at getting Ace to just calm down and wait a bit, soo good job to them :D! Though, that like idk,,, week or two??? (im not good with timeframes tbh), that he was just waiting to see if his brother was okay was prolly one of the worst weeks of his life.

U know I really debated if I was making Ace recognise sabo too quickly and if I was making him like too emotional or what not,,, but like YEA HE'S SO CONFUSED AND TIRED AND WORRIED!!!! IF THOSE BROTHERS DONT SPEND THE NEXT HOUR JUST SOBBING AND GRASPING AT EACHOTHER LIKE NO ONE ELSE EXISTS THAN I DONT KNOW WHAT I'LL DO!!!!!!

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

tag from @babyrdie and @greekmythologylover234 .

been a lot of tag games recently huh! thanks for remembering me 🤣

9 people you want to know better

i don't know enough people on here, but i'll be tagging @amnesiaa-on-ice @akhillaous @whorewhouse @naurumii @elnbnt @peggy-sue-reads-a-book

here are the questions to copy-paste:

three ships

first ship

last song

last tv show

currently reading

currently watching

currently eating

currently craving

my answers to them are under the cut so only those who are interested will be reading it (because i'll be yapping) lol

three ships

- patrochilles (duh; probably going to be my favorite, if i'm honest)

- kavetham (admits this semi-shamefully because the rest of the fandom is ass-- but i've left it. glad i did because the recent toxic community will never do me any good. i stressed, i die. simple. was a huge hyperfixation for a year or so though.)

- vashwood (it's been a while, but i really got obsessed with them and the show. watched 1997 once, stampede 3 times, not inclusive of the scattered episodes)

first ship

tbh no idea. it may or may not be solomon and saya from blood+ (great show great show) but i was around 7 when this happened and was just tagging along with whatever my sister had to say about things like these? i'm not a super shippy person either-- i'm not big on these things and certainly a lot less when i was younger. didn't have a lot of interest in couples prolly bc i had no idea what difference it had with friendship. just that you kiss and fuck or something. and i thought that was weird, or well, nothing much to it.

i guess you could say that the first pairing i've ever wanted to defend was zuko and katara from ATLA 🤣 nowadays i understand mai and zuko's relationship and i think it's pretty sweet, but back then i was fixated on zutara chemistry so whee🕺

last song

i haven't been playing music recently since i've been over at my partner's, but "done for" from epic the musical has been playing in my head since i woke up so there's that lol

last tv show

we were looking through netflix for an "easy" show to watch for dinner and got through 2 episodes of the exploding kittens show 🤣 played the game a lot when we got it, plus fond memories of things that happened whilst prompted us to check it out. it's an american tv show i guess, and i've never really vibed with those so it was alright, i guess. the kitties were cute.

currently reading

nothing. finished madeline miller's circe 3 days ago or so, though. my odyssey reading has been suspended for 2 weeks now but i guess it's because i'm pretty much kept up on the plot from randomly reading shit about it on the internet? i'm generally more of a "how did the story go?" person when i get into a book unless i become super obsessed with it. then, i'll dive into the nuances of text and its analysis. which hasn't been happening recently. i'll probably be balls-deep in academic text soon considering i haven't been a good student (our research adviser told us to start doing our thesis papers over the summer holiday so the process will be smoother... guess i'll be disappointing the prof who actually likes me ✊)

currently watching

nothing. finished castlevania (as well as the released season of nocturne) last month and i think that's my quota for shows for a while lol.

currently eating

fast food because the rain started pouring so hard. in time for lunch or so. it was a sign from the lord to spend and have a good time because the world might end tomorrow or something.

currently craving

the other items on the menu i didn't order- kidding lmao. a calzone for some reason, as well as a fizzy drink i usually get from a local cafe run by a nice old lady and youth on the drinks. ok, now i want her pesto sandwich.

ight i'll just eat now brb

[cinnamonbunpuff]

my project pan (what i can) 2024

i'd say that i have a pretty small makeup collection, but sometimes it feels like i have just too much. i've got a lot of old stuff that aren't quite old enough to throw out but they've definitely been around for a bit. with the four (!) months left of 2024, im hoping to pan and finish off some of these! i like that project pan is loose enough to fit everyone's own needs and goals, and im hoping to achieve mine with this! i've decided to post my progress here just as a way to help keep me accountable (even if there's like two people following) but also to document my progress and hopefully give me the motivation to pan my other stuff!

my plan: on the 1st (ish) of each month, mark on the container how much product is remaining, as well as taking a picture to compare against the previous month's progress. if i finish or pan something before the 1st, then i'll also post that!

(i'll be using the tag #liz's project pan 2024 for documentation ^.^)

1. morphe 2, hint hint skin tint (hint of honey)

i absolutely LOVE this product!! it gives a nice sheer base without the feeling of a heavy face, and it's easy to apply! the only issue is that it's like 2-3 shades too light 💔 i can only justify getting a new one once this is almost finished, but it's like barely used so i wanna just get it done with asap

2. flower by drew, petal pout lip mask (berry-more)

i've had this for almost a year but barely used it. it's great, i love the colour, texture, and application, but it's just kinda been sitting around tbh. i just wanna use this up as a jumpstart to decluttering my insane lippie collection

3. burt's bees, tinted lip balm (red dahlia)

i will be taking burt's bee's lip balms to my grave. idk how many i've gone through but i absolutely love them. similar to the lip mask, this one has been sitting in my makeup bag for over a year. the funny thing is there's barely anything left, like i can finish it in two weeks max. just throwing this in here as hopefully a reminder that "if i can finish this, i can def finish the rest!"

4. maybelline, the nudes eyeshadow

this one is fs one of my oldest makeup products, like i don't even remember when/why i got it. it works well, i just think that some of the colours aren't the best for my skin tone (but i think i can work with them). this one is prolly going to be one of my longer panning projects (i'm feeling ~end of 2025) and it's time for a new nudes palette, so it's a good start that i've added it!

(apologies cause a lot of the picture qualities aren't that great and doesn't really show the products' true colours but i tried my best!)

come new year's i'll reevaluate these and maybe add some more! super excited to start and hopefully see some progress!! thank you to anyone who wants to stick around and watch <3

[an-obsessed-cactus]

Ello ello ello!

honestly not sure yet what this page will be about(i do know i just don't want to admit to myself it'll be a random stream of consciousness à la James Joyce) but i thought I'd make a kind of introductory post about myself at least so here goes.(fandoms are listed at the bottom cuz at the heart of it tumblr is a place for obsessed freaks like myself). also I'm new to tumblr so its ways and etiquette are still unknown to me. but i will learn promise. anyway.

Name's Dorian/Bree(still deciding so take your pick and I'll see what sticks). I'm omnisexual aroace(went down the traditional pipeline surprise surprise) and go by she/her tho atm whole gender identity is kind of a mystery to me so that could change. edit: trying they/them rn to see how it feels

I'm finishing high school this year so my life'll be a bit hectic for a while(was for the last 4 years tbh). Cause I'm interested in one thing too many and can't make decisions to save my life and also cause I'm an anxious mess who can't relax, I'm taking a gap year. I'm planning on getting some rest to get back what remains of my mental health (which sadly ain't much but such is life). I'm gonna go travelling around a bit(rn pretty sure about Norway, UK, France & myb Japan) and honestly if I make any friends on here it'd be sick if someone joined me so that's always open.

Then next year, when I finish my soulsearching, I'll prolly go study sth cuz that's how the world works. I'd love to be either a writer or film director (or myb a therapist). My dream is to study film in UK(as a career writing and filmmaking is pretty much a tie, but filmmaking sounds just a tiny smidge more stable. Not giving up on writing in the least, but I feel like studying is more necessary for film than writing?) I love watching series and films not only because of the story, but because of the way it's told. I love to overanalyze the storytelling, the characters and different dynamics between them(and honestly just everything about the film) or read others' post overanalyzing it, so a film/series(does that exist?) critic sounds like an awesome job as well. But I'd like to be in the middle of the making and tell my own stories. Cinema's a bit sad in my country (non-existent more like) so studying abroad sounds like the only real option if I wanna make it in the industry. It's also an opportunity to meet more people interested in the stuff that I am so hopefully it works out. Fingers crossed 🤞🤞

Obviously, if one's obsessed with cinema, you can hardly avoid falling down the rabbit hole that are the fandoms. I'm currently fixated on Good Omens and would love to find some humans I can discuss it with cuz my irl friends(tho I love them with all my heart) just don't go temporary insane over fandoms the way I do.

I get random moments of revelation about other fandoms as well, so here's a list:

Good Omens

MCU(pls no spoilers post Wakanda Forever. I'm kinda runnin a bit late but I'll catch up I promise)

Sherlock

ATLA

MLB

Star Trek

TOH

Lucifer

Megamind

Umbrella Academy

BBC Merlin

Hannibal

Stranger things

Witcher

TVD(was my first real fandom so it still persists even tho I'm not really into it much anymore)

myb some more that I forgot

I'll prolly be adding stuff here as I figure out what I wanna talk about, but one of the things I'm working on is getting rid of perfectionism so this is it for now. I tried to keep it brief but that obviously hadn't worked out lmao. Could be worse(much, much worse)

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[nisetsundere]

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 26: What are you craving right now? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

yooo, you even included the q's in the ask, that's handy :)

uhh this went long so read more

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? you know, I'd like to say no, but the other day I accidentally tripped over some seething rage I had all bundled up somewhere, and I've been passingly mad when I think about it from time to time since then. I've made a lot of bad decisions in schooling, but when I was still new and fresh to uni and actually a good student, I got into Japanese and they brought up the study abroad opportunity. A semester in japan, being paid to be there, while going to school there and stuff? it was an incredible opportunity and it looked like I was gonna be able to go -- I jumped through all the hoops. as the deadline approached, I checked in and discovered that there was only a single component missing -- one of my letters of recommendation hadn't been submitted yet. I checked in with the prof, and she was like, yeah I'll get to it no sweat. deadline approaches closer and I bug her more and more about it, like, uh, hey, I kinda need that next week, by Friday? it's in three days? PLEASE, it's TOMORROW. but on the submit forum, it has a deadline written on the doc, and that's the deadline for the uni to send the paperwork, NOT the deadline that the uni had established for all the paperwork being turned in. so despite my continual clear and desperate pleas, she straight-out didn't believe me about the deadline. about two weeks after the deadline she told me "I tried to drop it off but they said the deadline was two weeks ago?" and it's like.. yeah.. as I told you, many times, both in email and in person... I couldn't go because you didn't do it on time........

I think about it a lot. It was prolly a turning point of sorts for me. a semester abroad would've invigorated me and I very well mightta succeeded all the way through uni. instead I started ditching more, taking things less seriously, failing a few classes. failing a lot of classes. dropping out. starting because one person thought I was like, lying about the deadline being earlier, and putting it off to the last minute.. but eh. could be that my course was gonna end that way either way tbh, could just be coincidental timing. I'm back in uni now to finish it up, so as long as I don't fuck it up this time......

26: What are you craving right now? aaah just some time with my friends and girlfriend, I've been busy lately and wish I could just take a day off and go catch a movie or play a game or something..

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? well, I'm sure I did as a kid yeah, but not in recent memory. I did go outside wearing nothing but shorts quite recently, but it was the dead of night and pouring rain, I doubt anyone saw me. my chest is really very hairy so I'm a bit self-conscious of being observed unless it's like a pool or beach or something. naked is out of the question :p

70: Is there anyone you would die for? not to be dramatic, but absolutely yeah. I have so many friends and coworkers that have such promising futures, if a gunman were to threaten them, I would 100% take a bullet for them.

thank you for the ask, TNT !! you triggered some Lore with that first one, sorry for the lengthy answer :p

[zeico]

Nine Mutuals I'd Like to Know Better

Tagged by @un-local

3 Ships

OCXCanon - Like everything I do is this. Idk this is what fuels me. Tbh let me gush about 3 of those here.

Wol/Estinien - My Warrior of Light Ahya is a monk first. She learns the healing arts of the stars later. I want to rewrite first steps of faith where she like grabs on one of the dragon killers and launches herself onto the dragon's back. This actually doesn't work and Ahya injures herself p badly. Like NEEDS time to rest and recover before like... doing her monk shit again. Estinien actually finishes the job of killing the dragon here and is like 'ur reckless wtf was that you're not a dragoon' (would make a good dragoon later. yes he will train her in that way later). But during recovery she studies astromancy to help her own healing. Anyway these 2 are like

Remilia(my sorcerer)/Ennui(dnd npc)/Mordecai(dnd npc) - (yes at this point its ocxocxoc but I love them). 3 nerds together. Remilia learned the divination magic she so craved from Mordecai. She learned a lot of basic survival and like magical creatures from Ennui. And like theres a level of vulnerability Remilia feels she can have with them instead of like current party bc of how she was kjinda dragged in. I've (in character) have been writing letters to them for the whole mission (just over a month in game time)(we aren't even done)(have just 'been gathering allies to stop the cult')(still have to like.... actually do that whole siege sequence)(I BELIEVE IT WILL COME BACK I AM MANIFESTING THIS). Even tho this campaign has been on hiatus for like years I do not care I still think about them. I am a fandom of 1 so I'll keep ship sailing myself if I gotta.

Castlevania OT3 (Alucard/Sypha/Trevor) - I REMEMBERED A CANON CHARACTERS ONE HOLY SHIT. Idk their dynamic was real good in the show that i still gotta finish maybe someday.

Also remembered like D/Rogier, Rogier/Tarnished (there is not enough english fics for my favorite mageboi),

First ship

Dude I have no clue. Prolly like Ed/Winry or like... Hien/Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho. I've been smooshing characters together like dolls for years.

Last Song

So this is Remilia (Vampire Bloodline Sorcerer) asking Bael'eari (High Elven Light Domain Cleric) to come back to Dawnhurst (city where she lives) Notably he worships the sun goddess Zephella. ("Its called DAWNhurst Bael!")

This has been in my mind rent free for past few days and I just am in mad dokis for this elf.

Currently Reading

The last thing I read was Dungeon Meshi. Which is a perfect fusion of my interests in food and fantasy.

Last Film

I...cannot remember tbh.

So last game I played is En-Garde! because its basically a lighthearted videogame version of my rogue in Curse of Strahd. Yes I bought it because her and the main character have basically the same model (my girl only just doesn't wear a hat at this point in time to which the DM showed me the haberdashery's shop inventory)

Currently Craving

Meat. I desire meat cooked over fire preferably on a stick. I want to taste the char. I want to taste the smoke.

I'm too tired to tag people rn if thou wishest to participate please feel free to do so. I doth not have the mind to think of people's names at this time.

[lazysunjade]

V I X E N |

[ushijimaenthusiast]

@ushioi-week prompt day 2: firsts

the ushijima in here is inspired by @aniaroa's boy next door ushijima and I hope I did it justice ;-;

[read here or ao3]

The first time he sees his new neighbor, it’s 5:30 in the morning and he’s out jogging. His neighbor, that is. Tooru is shuffling up his walkway, his feet heavy and clothes reeking of smoke and alcohol. He barely gets a glimpse of his neighbor’s face as they pass by one another, the taller man’s focus completely on the task at hand. All Tooru has time to register is the fact that his neighbor is ripped and that it’s too goddamn early to be out running.

He makes his way inside and collapses into bed fifteen minutes later, all thoughts of his new neighbor vanishing.

Some time in the afternoon when Tooru is able to drag himself out of bed and shower, finally washing away the smell of the bar, he grabs leftovers from the fridge and makes his way outside to eat on his patio. It’s nothing special, just a slab of concrete stretching into his backyard with a couple chairs and a small table, but it’s quiet, and he likes watching his wildflowers sway in the afternoon breeze.

Except. His wildflowers aren’t there.

Tooru’s mouth falls open as he takes in the pile of dirt that’s been dug up. His flowers are strewn around carelessly and have already started to wilt.

He’s on his feet in seconds and dashing over to properly take in the damage. But even from a distance he could see that his flowers were beyond saving. They lay limp and brown in the sun, and Tooru has to wonder how long it’s been since they’ve been dug up.

But that’s silly. There’s no dogs around here. Dogs are too wild and loud for this peaceful neighborhood. Unless it’s a stray. Is Tooru going to have to call animal control? Tell them that a wild beast is on the loose and is wreaking havoc on his flowers?

Hm, he knows they’d never go for that, unfortunately. A few dug up flowers is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Tooru sighs, then goes about picking up his flowers, carefully cradling them as he inspects each one in the hopes they might be saved. But of course he’s not that lucky, and he spends the remainder of his morning filling in the hole and mourning his lost plants.

Two days later there’s a knock on his door, and he opens it to find his new neighbor standing before him, a dead flower held between them.

“Um. I believe this is yours.”

Tooru looks from the dead flower to his neighbor, shoulders straightening immediately at noticing the height, at the man’s impressive build. He can’t help but admit to himself how stunning the other man is, but for some reason, it just fuels his anger.

“So I’m guessing the mutt who dug up my plants belongs to you?” Tooru finds himself sneering.

The man’s face shifts from confusion to a protective anger as he frowns. “She’s young. She got excited. We just moved here the other day and she’s not used to the area.”

“So are you saying you let her roam around without a leash?”

“Animals shouldn’t be restricted.”

“When they’re causing property damage they do.”

The man huffs, then after a moment reaches forward to grab Tooru’s hand to deposit the flower into it.

“We are both sorry for what she’s done. It won’t happen again.”

Tooru watches as the man spins on his heel and storms off, his long stride carrying him easily down the walkway, the sidewalk, and up his own walkway one house down. Tooru doesn’t understand why he didn’t just walk across the grass, but he shrugs it off. Maybe the man was trying to be a little more kinder to Tooru’s yard.

He ends up throwing the flower away, just like the rest.

 The first time he sees the dog, it’s taking a dump in his yard.

He squawks and runs after it, yelling and waving his arms about to chase it off. It isn’t until it rises from its crouch that he realizes just how big it is. He stutters to a stop a few feet away, and his mind quickly supplies itself with the breed. It’s a Doberman, he’s pretty sure. Something he’s seen in movies where they’re junkyard dogs that like to eat trespassers.

Suddenly nervous, Tooru gives a shaky laugh, body frozen and arms still held out in front of him as if that’ll ward the dog away. But obviously it doesn’t work because the dog starts to step towards him, head tilted into the air as if sniffing him out.

He’s seen too many funny and cute videos of dogs to be truly afraid of them, but looking at this stray, sleek black beast that comes up to his hips, Tooru might be shaking, just a little. He starts to take a step back, eyes trained on the dog while he tries to calculate how fast he’ll have to run if he wants to make it to his house before the dog could get him.

He’s just tensed up and is ready to bolt when there’s a loud whistle from the yard next to his. The dog’s ears perk up and it darts off with a bark, not even sparing a second glance at Tooru. He huffs as he watches it run to his neighbor’s house, his eyes narrowing as he sees the dog jump in excitement at its owner.

Tooru won’t dare admit how beautiful the man looks when smiling.

Instead, he sucks in a lungful of air, points at the mess and shouts, “You better clean up the shit your dog left in my yard!”

He waits for confirmation of his neighbor hearing him before he goes back inside, thoughts on looking up fencing options already brewing.

 The first time he learns his neighbor’s name, it’s when the man is hosting a BBQ and one of the people invited shouts it for the whole neighborhood to hear.

Tooru tries to deny that his mouth mumbles the words after hearing it, as if testing it out for himself. The name sounds familiar, but Tooru doesn’t know where he might have heard it.

He tries to pretend like the party next door doesn’t bother him, like he’s not jealous that his increasingly--annoyingly--attractive neighbor has friends over and never thought to invite Tooru. Who cares if it’s a housewarming party? It’s been two months, the house is plenty warm.

The last time any of Tooru’s friends were over was after a particularly nasty night at the bar when Tooru had gotten drunk and started a fight with a regular, and he’d needed someone to take him home and patch up his knuckles. The only reason he kept the job is because his brother owns the place.

He pretends that it doesn’t hurt that Ushijima has a crowd of people around him, and Tooru has no one.

So he sits out on his patio, his lunch beside him as he pretends to read a gossip magazine, eyes hidden behind a pair of shades. He’s positioned in a way he could shrug it off as sunbathing if asked, because how was he supposed to spy on the party if he had to constantly look over his shoulder?

The most eye catching in the crowd is a loud man with shockingly bright red hair--his voice carries so well that Tooru can almost hear every word he says--and he never lets Ushijima too far out of arm’s reach. Tooru would call him clingy if he was actually hanging onto Ushijima, but he does manage to keep some space between them.

There’s another man who appears younger, but just as excited to be around Ushijima. He reminds Tooru of the dog whenever it's around Ushijima, all wagging tail and happy yips.

Tooru hasn't found any more surprises in his yard, and he's begrudgingly happy about that.

The rest of the party goers don't stand out to Tooru, but he does notice they're all fairly tall and muscular, just like Ushijima. He wonders if they work together, or have been friends for years. Tooru tries to hold his jealousy in check.

After an hour, Tooru loses interest and flips himself over on his stomach to continue sunbathing, not intent on getting caught watching the party, no matter how good the food smells.

He's halfway asleep when a shadow falls over him, and the clearing of a throat has him jumping awake, shades slipping down as he takes the sight in front of him.

"You shouldn't fall asleep in the sun," the voice says, "you could get sunburned."

Ushijima Wakatoshi towers above him, skin-tight shirt hugging everything. His shorts are also a little on the tight side, and Tooru has to quickly look away before he's able to make out anything.

Then the words catch up, and Tooru clears his own throat, pushing his shades back up his face. "Who said I was falling asleep? And maybe I've already put on sunscreen."

Ushijima's eyebrows raise, then he points at Tooru. "You're skin is turning red. I thought I should tell you before it gets any worse."

Tooru huffs and throws a glance over his shoulder to check the color of his skin.

It takes everything in him to not cry when he sees the ugly tomato color blooming across his back.

Instead, he frowns and forces himself to stand from his chair. The pain hasn't settled in yet, so he's able to grab his things with minimal discomfort and walk away with maximum dignity.

"I don't know what you're talking about. It's always like this."

Later that evening, he calls a friend to ask about sunburn remedies.

 The first time he sees Ushijima outside of their neighborhood, he's pulling up a stool in front of Tooru, his face twisted in a frown as he stares down at the grimy countertop.

Tooru has to resist rolling his eyes or hiding in the back, but then Ushijima is catching his eye, his face morphing into confusion before his lips tilt into his version of a smile.

Tooru swears his stomach does not flip at the sight.

"What can I get for you?" he asks instead, playing nonchalant and like he doesn't know who Ushijima is.

He keeps his gaze averted as he wipes down the countertop, making sure to get up all the sticky spots, but he doesn't miss the way Ushijima continues to stare at him.

"I'll just have a beer."

He knows he does a poor job at hiding his scowl when he hears Ushijima huff out a laugh, but really, beer? He would have pegged Ushijima as a whiskey drinker. Or maybe tequila. Or maybe Tooru is just projecting because really, he could use a drink right now. Tonight has been too long and Ushijima showing up to this hole-in-the-wall bar is not something he ever expected to see.

Somehow though, the two get to talking. Tooru finally notices the gold hoops in Ushijima’s right ear and points them out, and tries not to fidget when Ushijima subtly says they’re not his only piercings. Tooru has to wonder where the rest are at, and if there’s ever a chance of him seeing them.

It’s also how he finally learns where he’s heard Ushijima’s name before, and it has him pounding a fist against the countertop while he laughs.

“An underwear model? Seriously?”

Ushijima just takes a sip of his beer, eyes narrowed and lips curved at the edges. Tooru has to gulp at the heated ook.

“It pays well,” Ushijima says when he lowers his glass, “and I quite like it. It’s a very… flexible job.”

If anyone asked, Tooru did not leave work early to go make out with Ushijima in the alley behind the bar. He suddenly wasn’t feeling well and Ushijima was kind enough to take him home. And spend the rest of the night blowing his mind with how flexible he is.

 Their first fight is brutal.

Tooru is tired and sore, his nose running and eyes burning as he tries to calm himself. It’s been hours since it happened, since he lost her, and now Wakatoshi is yelling at him, calling him words like irresponsible and untrustworthy. He tries to explain what happened, tries to tell Wakatoshi what was about to happen, but he can’t get a word in.

The insults Wakatoshi throws at him feel like slaps, and each one stings harsher than the last. Seeing Wakatoshi get so livid over a missing dog, something that’s replaceable and a dime a dozen, makes Tooru feel worthless.

It’s clear Wakatoshi doesn’t care about him, so Tooru shuts his mouth and forgets about trying to explain himself.

“I’m sorry,” he says again in the silence following Wakatoshi’s outbursts, “but I’m sure she’ll turn up.”

He lets himself out without another word, quietly closing the door behind him.

He manages to make it to his bedroom before the gasps and sobs catch up with him. He has to force himself to turn on all the lights before crawling into bed, not wanting the room to be shrouded in darkness. He used to never be afraid of the dark, or knives or strangers lurking in alleys. He doesn’t even know why this event shook him up so badly. He’s been in bar fights before! He’s broken his knuckles on other men’s faces, has had bottles broken over his head. Why should this time be any different?

Because he’s never been pinned down before. Never had a knife pressed against his throat, while horrible words are whispered in his ear and filthy hands pat him down.

He’s never had something protect him before.

Calling Wakatoshi’s dog replaceable was careless of him. If not for her, Tooru’s not sure what would have happened to him.

Wakatoshi knocks on his door the next morning, dark circles under his red eyes and hair mussed into a mess that’s beyond shrugging off as bedhead. Behind him sits his dog, her tongue lolling as she pants happily, big black eyes jumping from Tooru to Wakatoshi.

A rock lodges itself in Tooru’s throat when he hears the gruffness in Wakatoshi’s voice.

“The police found her attacking a man. He confessed to trying to mug the dog’s owner, but the dog chased him away. He had your wallet on him.”

Wakatoshi holds out Tooru’s wallet, his fingers shaking. In his haze, he forgot about it being taken, didn’t even care when his boyfriend’s dog was missing.

“I am so sorry, Tooru,” Wakatoshi whispers. The dog stands and squeezes past her owner so she can get to Tooru, her face bright as she tries to lick his hands. He lets her, the urge to hug her overwhelming him.

She’s a little dirty, more brown than black, but otherwise she looks perfectly fine.

Wakatoshi’s hands rest on his cheeks, thumbs brushing away his tears. When did he start crying?

“I’m so sorry,” he says again, his guilt palpable. “Can you forgive me?”

Tooru just wraps his arms around Wakatoshi, hugging him tight.

 Tooru first realizes he’s in love with Wakatoshi when he finds himself curled up on the couch with his head in Wakatoshi’s lap and the dog resting at their feet. Fingers are carding through his hair and there’s some nature documentary on the TV that neither of them are paying attention to. What he is paying attention to is the vase of flowers set on the coffee table just below Tooru’s line of sight.

Wakatoshi surprised him with them this morning. An exact replica of the flowers he used to have in his yard all those months ago. He was sure Wakatoshi had forgotten, or at least wasn’t sure of the types. Tooru doesn’t even know their names, honestly, but the vibrant yellows and blues he could never forget. He’d fingered the petals to feel their softness and to check that they were real, and Wakatoshi had apologized once again at what the dog had done. Had apologized about how their first meeting had gone. Tooru had waved him off with words like “It’s all in the past” and “Honestly I forgot about that” even though they both knew he hadn’t. Wakatoshi simple smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

He knows his feelings are a jumbled mess, but just lying here with Wakatoshi, the one thing Tooru knows is that he’s happy. He’s never felt so happy before, never felt so content and peaceful and warm. He’s beyond thrilled at the relationship they’ve managed to develop, how they’ve moved past petty indifference to quick fucks in the bar to this, all within a few months. It hasn’t even been a year yet and their relationship has been a whirlwind of emotions and activity.

There’s a part of Tooru that thinks they’re moving too fast, that maybe his feelings have developed too quickly and all of this will crash and burn around him in moments.

But he’s sure of himself. In this moment, curled up against his boyfriend, he knows he loves Wakatoshi. Nothing will change that.

When the fingers stop carding through his hair and move to pick up the remote, Tooru has to wonder if Wakatoshi feels the same.

 Wakatoshi is the first to say it.

Tooru almost doesn’t hear him, doesn’t even realize what he’s saying, until Wakatoshi’s hands cup his cheeks and his head is being tilted up. That soft smile is back, and his eyes are hidden behind his glasses--Tooru laughed for ages when he first saw Wakatoshi wearing them, then was the one to blush and stutter when he pulled out his own pair and Wakatoshi kissed him senseless--and the fingers against his skin are softer than his own and dammit Tooru just wants to be kissed already.

He gets his wish.

Soft lips gently press against the tip of his nose before Wakatoshi is pulling away again.

“I love you,” he murmurs, and Tooru would be lying if he said his knees didn’t shake at the softness in his boyfriend’s tone.

Tooru’s lips split into a smirk and he throws his arms around Wakatoshi’s neck, pulling him down for another kiss, a deeper kiss, that has Wakatoshi moaning.

“‘Bout time.”