#tbh it was a p slow day so this wasn’t like that bad and she was rlly sweet and like truly not at all a bother

[deityofhearts]

i actually worked at the singular walmart in my city for a while, the 30 gallons of milk isn’t the most absurd/large purchase I’ve watched someone make at the store or like any store I’ve worked at yet

[quillyfied]

Things I’m noticing on this rewatch, which I’m hoping to take slow and ponder on but we will see how it goes, PART THREE (obviously major Good Omens season 2 spoilers throughout, specifically for S2E3)

- First, going back to the previous episode: thank you to the person who reminded me that the Dirty Donkey pub is the pub that Crowley plans his holy water heist in!! (Which means Crowley LITERALLY planned his heist on Aziraphale’s stoop, unless Aziraphale moved the pub to be closer to himself in case it happened again. Hmmmm.)

- Also. I have been reminded that “Give me coffee or give me death” is a modified quote of “give me liberty or give me death” by an American revolutionary. Which. Explains all the Statues of Liberty around the place. I am Slow.

- Anyway, to e3: the fact that Jim has a labeled mug and hot chocolate canister. I feel like he tried to ingest something he wasn’t supposed to, so Aziraphale made sure he had his name on his things XD

- The sex worker is a treasure, for one; I hope I am reminded of her name soon.

- MURIEL. SWEET ANGEL BABY. Sorry they’re not a baby but they are so adorably innocent and inexperienced. I love that Aziraphale treats them so kindly despite his obvious terror. Though. It is a kindness that reminds me of my coworkers. I work in childcare. I know a “childcare” disposition when I see it.

- Okay, the framing there: the box, and the hat. The mystery, and the detective cap. Excellent.

- The gentle tutelage, Muriel’s scrunchy face when they realize what tea is for—I’m just SCREECHING.

- AND CROWLEY GETTING IN ON IT. THE WAY HIS WHOLE DEMEANOR IMMEDIATELY GOES FROM BITCHING TO DELIGHTED. AAAAAAAAAAH.

- AND HE’S SITTING. ON THE ARM. OF AZIRAPHALE’S CHAIR.

- The coparenting. Muriel’s utter naivety. I’m just.

- “I’m not sure how you lot have managed to stay in charge.” “I’m not sure we actually have.” SAY IT LOUDER.

- OKAY BUT HOW DOES HELL MEASURE MIRACLES THO

- ONE FABULOUS KISS CROWLEY. IS THAT ALL IT TAKES.

- “To tell if humans are in love you need to wait a few days” not bad advice really but also unrelated how many days are in like 6000 years? Asking for a friend.

- AZIRAPHALE TALKING TO THE BENTLEY AND IMMEDIATELY BEING A BIGGER MENACE ON THE ROAD THAN CROWLEY. VINDICATION.

- Thing the first about the opening theme: Crowley crawls up the cliff and Aziraphale lands on it. Just a nice touch.

- The movie theater in the opening has a different feature title and picture on the big screen every episode. I missed it for the first one but last time it was “A Companion to Owls” (which is a verse from Job that I only know because the full quote is “I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls” and it was a lamentation but of course teenage Quilly thought that was the coolest thing she had ever read). This time: The Resurrectionists, coupled with a shot of the Gabriel statue.

- I think Crowley’s hair is s1 color in this minisode but I can’t be sure. Lighting is…not. :P

- THE BONUS CONTENT SAYS NEIL GAIMAN THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO LET DAVID TENNANT DO AS MANY SCOTTISH ACCENTS AS HE CAN THIS CHAPTER. I AM DELIGHTED

- The second Elspeth says “English” Crowley starts losing it, which in turn makes ME lose it.

- I love the bringing back in the discussion from the book about privilege making its way here, and given a more visceral illustration and testing. Though I love Crowley literally helping Elspeth pull the wagon, a thing I’m not sure he’s ever willingly done in his life, and poking holes in Aziraphale’s arguments all the way.

- Wee Morag’s morals have about the same utility in this situation as Aziraphale’s, tbh. I’m not sure I have the mental capacity tonight to deconstruct that the way it deserves.

- Aha! Knew I recognized the tune in the car! Danse Macabre!

- He is AFFECTIONATE towards the BENTLEY. Which Crowley can FEEL.

- YELLOW CAR. DAMN YOU JOHN FINNEMORE.

- but it is pretty, Crowley!

- Spoilsport.

- I fully did not internalize the tartan hills and Nessie the first time around. I saw them. I immediately chalked them up to personal fever dream.

- The demon’s name is Josh. Why is that delightful??

- He wears a kilt! And has a wonderful little monologue about dung pits and tongue ripping!

- Beelzebub being off is subtle. Almost too subtle.

- The many stacks of books Crowley carries around and then chucks this episode. Love it.

- Crowley not having a cow about a fly seems weird tbh

- Vavoom. Where tf did he learn the word vavoom

- “David Tennant has occasionally played a doctor” OH HAS HE NOW

- the almost musical pulls Michael Sheen does for miracles this season. Lovely.

- Also: the dual nature of Mr. Dalrymple. Needs bodies to do good and study so he can save lives. Treats the people bringing him the bodies like dirt.

- Okay: is Crowley freezing time, or just putting Dalrymple in a mental time out? Very curious to know. The trivia bit on the side references the s1 trick of having Jean-Claude’s actor stand very still to achieve the time stop there, so perhaps freezing time?

- Alright moment of silence for how very very good Crowley’s outfit is this scene. Yum.

- The instant penny drop when Aziraphale realizes the reason for the body snatching, how he immediately uses prevention of future harm to classify it as Good.

- Also. His emotional reaction to the kid’s tumor. ;A;

- Edinburgh is so colorful!!

- HIS SMUG LITTLE GRIN WHEN HE POPS OUT HIS HAT AND NOTEBOOK. Also, wtf is in his hat. What is that.

- Okay but the double sided sign, and how Aziraphale first sees the Jesus side. IMPORTANT. PAINFUL.

- PRESS 66. That’s what’s in the hat.

- And Aziraphale being every bit as awkward as Muriel in his interrogation. Just slightly less weird. Angels.

- Listen I’ll probably say it again at episode 6 but the sheer magnitude of the importance that Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love over the course of a year—with EACH OTHER. Not with earth or humans or creation. Just each other. Hggk.

- Alright, but Aziraphale DOES see the other half of the sign here. Does he get it? DOES HE GET IT?? No. Of course not.

- “I’ll help but it still doesn’t make it right.” That is such an uncomfortable truth to sit with. The whole adventure is, really. The whole show. SHADES OF GREY.

- Okay, I’m pausing this episode way too much, it’s been over an hour since I started this episode, but—the way Aziraphale overcorrects is. Sad? Elspeth and Wee Morag aren’t here to decrease human suffering. Outside of their own, of course, which can also be achieved by digging up a body that’s fresh. Scope of intent and how Aziraphale simplifies and moralizes it. Huh.

- Lot more this season about Aziraphale’s miracle allowances, too. Very interesting concept.

- MIGHT HAVE SLIGHTLY OVERDONE IT ON THE HOLE. MIGHT YOU INDEED.

- interesting how his dithering is what causes his chance to heal Wee Morag to slip through his fingers. And yet raising her is out of the question. Can Aziraphale even do that? We know he and Crowley together generate a ton of power, but what about on his own?

- interesting that elspeth takes Wee Morag to Dalrymple and is already contemplating suicide despite her actions suggesting she intended to keep on living. Hmm.

- Dalrymple the Ass. Not just unwilling to get his own hands dirty but disparaging of those who will. Another moral dichotomy.

- And elspeth also not wanting to get dug up? Wee Morag’s death affecting her?

- CROWLEY OFF HIS HEAD WITH LAUDANUM IS THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME

- How much is 90 guineas compared to 5 pounds? …google says a guinea is worth slightly more than a pound. So. For the eight pounds Elspeth and Wee Morag were aiming for, for the three pounds shafted that Wee Morag died for…Aziraphale literally had over ten times that amount in his pocket. MORALS.

- …the stupid special features had the math onscreen already. Sort of. Heck.

- Yeah okay this scene adds way more context to Crowley asking for holy water fifty or so years later. Yikes. YIKES. The implications of it all!!

- Asking the phone nicely. Love these little Aziraphaleisms.

- The awning of a new age XD

- The little tipping of his cap!! Adorable!

- Nina and Maggie actually TALKING. HEY CROWLEY ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION???

- The rain is overdone and the awning rips. Gosh. Whatever could that be implying?

- Seriously how is Crowley able to pull these spells out of Jim?? And seemingly ONLY him???

- Alright, this prophecy bit. Seems to me to be about the future, also about the past, which is very biblical tbh. Specifically Isaiah. But I’m not up to snuff enough on my Bible to tell what all Gabriel is quoting. Besides the Buddy Holly.

- HELLO SHAX

- Okay, realizing that no angels pop up in Aziraphale’s shop in season 1, either. Gabriel and Sandalphon enter from the outside. I’ll need to rewatch to see if Aziraphale actively invites them in, or if it’s just blocking. I think it might just be blocking. But what an interesting detail, that only humans can enter at will and all else must be invited!

- The threatening of Aziraphale continues. The anxiety of Crowley intensifies. The obliviousness of Jim resets.

- Always too late. Poor Crowley.

Yeah this took an hour and a half to watch XD but I’m having fun. And killing quite a lot of time. Am I making sense or creating a thoughtful analysis? No, I don’t think so. But I’m solidifying the canon in my head, at least.

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[piscesparker]

Sniffles lead to cuddles H.O

a/n: Request from wattpad.  So, can you please do an sweet imagine about Haz and his girlfriend. They have their own apartment, she was free from work, so she decided just to watch Netflix(friends tv show:D). It was late, and there was such a sad moment, so she start crying so much and didn't even heard how haz come home. And then you can do whatever you want, something sweet or whatever, it's up to you. Also you can add something happened in the morning. Just something sweet I really need a comfort right now.

It was just another regular lazy day for you except the only thing missing was your boyfriend, you were just a few months into your relationship and the both of you agreed that taking it slow was okay for the time being. He happened to spend the night with you, but left in the morning without saying goodbye; it did upset you a bit but you decided to brush it off. You didn’t want to be the reason for keeping him from his work, the relationship was going well so far and you didn’t want to seem too clingy.

So, here you were sitting in your pajamas binging on friends, since your lover wasn’t there to comfort you, you deemed it upon yourself to turn to your comfort show. It was a bit late in the evening, you didn’t seem to notice time pass away, and as Chandler got on his knee the waterworks began. You didn’t know why but that scene with Monica always made you ugly cry, romantic scenes like these always made you cry out of joy no doubt.

Now when Harrison entered your apartment he did feel a bit guilty of leaving you in the morning and decided to surprise you despite his busy schedule; instead he was surprised by your sniffles as he walked to your room. Carefully he opened the door and saw you sitting on your bed surrounded by lots of tissues,which shattered his heart to see you. Jogging to your side, he instantly engulfed you and stroked your soft locks as he kissed your forehead in hopes of comforting you. If he only knew the real reason you were actually crying.

“Harrison what are you doing here, aren’t you supposed to be at work?” You asked, wiping away your tears, Harrison cupped your face and pecked your lips before answering.

“Hi,” he whispered as your eyelashes tickled his cheeks, “I felt bad for leaving this morning so I came to make it up to you, but now I feel terrible, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” His eyes softened.

You chuckled at the thought but also felt bad for guilt trapping your boyfriend. “Haz, before you make me feel guilty, turn around.” You instructed him, confused he turned around and saw the tv and immediately feeling embarrassed, started to chuckle.

“You really need to stop crying over tv shows.” He smiled and shook his head in disbelief.

“Cuddles?” You asked with a pouty face.

“Cuddles!” He beamed, getting under the covers and wrapping his arms around you in a protective way and your head laid on his chest listening to his steady heartbeats.

General Taglist: @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ @peaches-parker​ @mischiefmanaged011​ @hollanderfangirl​ @calltothewild​ @whatthefuckimbisexual​ @musicalkeys​ @parker--peter​ @holland-parkers​ @peterbenjiparker​ @peter-ethereal-p​ @theonly1outof-a-billion​ @miraclesoflove​ @theliterarymess​ @osterfieldholland01​ @chrisosterfield​

Harrison Osterfield Taglist: @hollandbroz-n-haz​ @hjoficrecs​ @euphorichxlland​ @asshatgrace​

[thepigeonsopinion]

So, "Hack San" was released...

The episode "Hack San" has finally been released and here I am now, about to go on and on about the episode :) But first let's do a small summary or synopsis of the episode!

Warning: Spoilers to the episode "Hack San"

Summary:

The episode starts off with Marinette trying to make up excuses to stay in Paris/home, instead of going to London to visit her Aunt. So far, all of her attempts have been failures. Marinette then has no choice but to leave Paris with her family. Meanwhile, Gabriel or Shadowmoth creates a new sentimonster with the name of Hack San, which is a virus that allows for Markov to be vulnerable to an akuma. Then, Marinette contacts Alya to meet her at the train station before she is to leave. Marinette gives Alya the Ladybug miraculous trusting her to protect Paris while she is gone. Alya has a chat with the kwami's, Tikki and Trixx, in which they tell her the ups and downs of being the holder of the Ladybug miraculous and the guardian of the miracle box. Alya returns to the park that she was hanging out at before Marinette contacted her. At the park, Alya starts to fuss over everyone's emotions, mainly if they are feeling any negative emotions. Meanwhile, Markov is effected by the virus and is akumatized by Shadowmoth and becomes Robustus. Robustus then (through the internet) takes control of people and orders them to give him their most prized possessions. While on the train, Marinette's parents are affected by Robustus, which leads to Marinette being captured by Robustus. It is then Alya's responsibility to protect Paris. Alya transforms into her version of Ladybug, and while she is trying to find her new super hero name she is met with Chat Noir. Chat Noir does not immediately trusts the new super heroine and suspects they are the villain. However, this distrust is cut short because of the akuma Robustus still being at large. Robustus orders everyone to capture Ladybug and Chat Noir. The super heroes hear a person crying for help and while Chat Noir is at first suspicious, Alya heads straight to where the civilian's voice was heard. This turns out to be a trap and the super heroes are forced to run into a building where they are also trapped by Robustus. Alya summons her Lucky Charm to aid her in this situation. Alya or Scarabella receives a frying pan. This leads her to think of a plan to manipulate Robustus to release the people's possessions in exchange for both her and Chat Noir. Robustus agrees to this and releases all of the objects and among those objects is Marinette who catches on quickly to the plan and uses the frying pan to release the akuma. The super heroes are released as well and Alya uses her Miraculous Ladybug. And as always, Paris is saved once again. A few days later, Marinette and her family are back from her trip and Alya suggest Marinette/Ladybug go talk to Chat Noir, and she does. Ladybug and Chat Noir have a talk about how someone knows about Ladybug's secret identity and Chat's new found fear that Ladybug might not be there anymore, in which Ladybug gives him the reassurance that she won't be going anywhere. And, the episode ends.

Yay! Another very detailed and unnecessary summary of the episode! Welp! It's too late now. :|

Anyway! Now onto my opinion or thoughts on the episode!

(Also I'm re-watching the episode as I do this so this might have some unnecessary details. Anyway, carry on!)

First things first the, I know that Marinette is trying to get out of going to London and staying in Paris, but I swear her excuses are getting weaker. I swear she had better excuses in the earlier seasons or is it just me? Not to mention, since Marinette is so desperate to stay in Paris she purposefully trips down the stairs. Damn the dedication and I mean, I know that Marinette needs to stay in Paris just in case, but she has left Paris like three times now, you would think that she would have a backup plan if anything happened in Paris when she wasn't there (and I'll talk about one of her solutions later on *cough cough Scarabella cough cough*). Also, Tom's desperation and persistence for Marinette to come on the trip is kinda amusing. And the not so subtle jabs at the aunt :0

Moving on! Ummm Nooroo and Dusuu you know that Gabriel is RIGHT there right? I mean he could probably hear what your saying. Also, Gabriel are you just deaf or did you not just hear what they said? Because their right behind you. When Shadowmoth made Hack San, was the weird "Haah" sound really necessary? Also, why does the virus, USB thingy low key look like Nino's shirt logo. Are they somehow connected? Or did they just run out of ideas for the design? (Not me being salty over a sentimonsters design) Why the fuck is this robot doing like three things at the same time? I know that he's a robot, but come on.

Hmmmm. No other option you say? What about bringing the Horse miraculous with you like in Startrain? Or use the cosmic suits that can legit let you fly around the world? Come on, let's be honest here giving Alya the Ladybug miraclulous wasn't the ONLY option. Claps to Alya for doing a fake doubting act, but in reality just trying to think of a new superhero name. You almost got me there Astruc, you almost made me thought that Alya had her doubts about taking over for Marinette, but in reality is just super excited to take over. Props to you my dude, props! Also, I'm not going to lie Alya all of your name ideas are kinda weak, I mean the fandom has better name ideas than you do, but then again that is to be expected. Props to the kwamis for putting all the pressure that Marinette has on her back and transferring it to Alya. Thank you for making Alya aware of all the pressure Marinette's under. Even if Alya's probably not going to bring it up and probably will just brush it off. Yes, Alya just keep telling your self that this weekend is going to be totally chill. Not to mention, Tikki being more supportive to Alya than to Marinette, whaaaaaaaaaaa- :0. Alya you just told yourself that this weekend was going to be chill why the heck are you making your life harder for yourself. To be honest, if your acting like this already you deserve whatever is coming for you. Marinette, honey, why the fuck do you need to right down 675 tips for Alya? I mean I get 33 tips even 40, but 675, really? Not to mention, the tip about laughing at Chat Noir's jokes even if they aren't funny just to make him happy, why the fuck do you need to keep him happy he could be mad, upset, or sad and I wouldn't give a fuck :p.

I will say this again, how the fuck does a multi-intelligent robot that is connected the world wide web, that is also doing at least 4 things at the same time get tempted and corrupted by a virus by clicking on a cute kitty cat ad. HOW!?! EXPLAIN THAT TO ME!?!

Okay, so remember when we thought we were actually going to get a canon Marcenial moment. Hahaha welp Astruc you've done it again you have crushed our shipping dreams again. I hope your proud of yourself. Also, the most precious possession to Marc is his and Nathaniel's manga/comic, really?

Damn the amount of times this girl makes us and Trixx second guess that she's doubting herself, like she's done it three times now. Not to mention, why is her ladybug suit more detailed than Marinette's hmmm? I mean, don't get me wrong I like the design, but why can't Marinette have a detailed suit like this? Also why is Alya acting like The Owl? *Hoot Hoot!* I also just realised that the kwamis are a bit territorial, well not Tikki, but Plagg and Trixx have proven themselves to be a bit territorial of their holders.

I love Chat Noir's distrust to Alya as Ladybug because this shows a different side of Chat Noir that Paris doesn't see, but does Alya see this and realize how much of a ass he is? Nope. Also, not going to lie, his distrust kinda amuses me. Carrying on! Chat Noir, I can hear the toxic jealousy from here my dude, you might want to tone it down a bit, you've got a audience here you know. You know, I was expecting him to say his most prized possession was Ladybug, or even his kwami, Plagg, but I wasn't expecting him to say croquettes. OMG! GUYS! IT'S HAPPENING! CHAT IS FINALLY BEING CAUTIOUS FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF IMMEDIATELY JUMPING INTO TROUBLE!!! Also, Chat Noir being responsible whaaaaaaa- :0. Ummm, why the fuck did they just run into a building, when they legit could've jumped out of that mess, like seriously why isn't anyone using their head today?

Moving on! Why the heck is most of this episode just Alya trying to think of a super hero name like seriously, I know it's supposed to be some kinda of gag, but it's starting to get a bit annoying. Chat Noir being supportive to Alya: *slow clap*. When Alya's whole plan is to just to leave everything up to Marinette, Me: Wow! I TOtAlLy didn't see that coming! Hehehe Chat Noir with a pot over his head. You know, I thought upset Chat Noir was enough for this episode, but now we get sad Chat Noir and Ladybug reassuring him, just wow, you have out done yourself Astruc.

AND! That's that end of the episode! So all in all, this episode wasn't that bad? But it wasn't my favorite (maybe one of my least favorite tbh :0) Mainly, because of the appearance of Scarabella and ladybug catering to Chat Noir needs. This is probably mainly because I'm a bit biased, but in my opinion and I will repeat in MY OPINION I don't think Alya really deserves to get the miraculous. I mean yeah, Marinette has given her trust to her and has told her that she is Ladybug, but has she really done anything to show that she deserves that trust. If I'm being honest she has shown more reasons for Marinette not to trust her. One of the reasons being that Alya doesn't fully trust Marinette herself, and the other being that she disobeyed Marinette by telling Nino that she is still Rena Rouge and not telling her that she did so.

Anyway! Those are most of my thought's on this episode. This has been a loooong week for me with the addition of school now. So expect me to be posting more on the weekends than on weekdays.

Anywho! I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. And always remember...

But that's just my opinion (・ε・)

(This week has been soooo tiring and with the edition of this episode and a sneak peek of a new episode coming up, I know it's only beginning. *smiles through the pain :)*)

[amoosewritesfanfic]

[+18]

[Shinsou Hitoshi x Fem!Reader x Denki Kaminari]

[Warnings: poly, threesome, double penetration, overstimulation, light quirk play, hair pulling, ddlg, light piss kink]

[I own none of the characters or art posted, the credits go to the original creators, the story and edit belongs to me tho, all characters are obviously aged up.]

[Tbh this is birthday smut for my two bois enjoy it :3]

-

"Ah shit baby girl, you look so fucking good takin' my cock like that, it's filling your mouth up so well~" Denki teased as your head moved back and forth around his cock, meanwhile between your legs was Shinsou, his tongue working your cunt, easing over your clit making you reach your third orgasm for that morning. "Morning sex is the best~" Denki groaned tilting his head back as you worked his cock. Shinsou pulled back from your cunt earning somewhat of a muffled whimper from you, making Denki groan in delight from the vibrations it sent through his cock. "You're not wrong, though we could've slept a little more in..." Shinsou said as his thumb eased over your pussy lips making your hips buck slightly and basically deep throat Denki's cock which earned a sharp inhale from the blonde.

"Hmm, you sure 'bout that Shin? She's enjoying herself...~" Denki said as he watched Shinsou eased his middle and index finger into your slick which had your legs spreading a bit more as well as letting out another needy moan. "Oh she definitely is... you should do that thing that you did to me the other day." Shinsou said and Denki stared at him for a moment before chuckling and pulling himself from your mouth, your saliva connecting from his cock tip to your lips, you were panting quietly. "You sure?" He asked. "Yeah, she can always use the safe word if she doesn't like it, isn't that right kitten?" Now, Shinsou and Denki switched places, although this time, Shinou had your head in his lap, pulling your legs up to your chest to expose your sweet little cunt to Denki who had somewhat of a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

"Yes daddy..." you replied to Shinsou who stroked your cheek softly. "Repeat the safe word for us kitten." As he spoke he ran his thumb over your bottom lip and you consciously ran your tongue over the pad of his thumb before replying. "Eraser." You said. "And if you can't talk baby girl?" Denki asked as he eased two digits over your soaked slit making your hips buck slightly, everything felt so sensitive especially after cumming so many times. You smacked the bed three times and then smacked Shinsou's thigh three times. "Remember those kitten, I'll make him stop if it becomes too much okay?" Shinsou assured you and you gave a slow nod.

You trusted both Shinsou and Denki more than anything, it's why you married the two idiots of course and why the bedroom was always interesting, it was always spiced up between you three. Sometimes it would be just you and Shinsou or you and Denki or Denki and Shinsou. It depended on the situation or what kink you three decided on usually. You were open to anything, but sometimes you liked to sit out and sleep a little longer or go out without them.

...

Now with your safe word and gestures out of the way Denki wasted no time in sliding those two slender digits into you, your hips pressing into his touch as you tilted your head back in Shinsous lap, his cock twitching next to you. "Don't worry 'bout my cock kitten, just focus..." there was a pause before you felt it, that light shock, it was a small on but you felt it erupt throughout your whole body. Denki has used his quirk on occasion, once on accident and a few times on purpose, all of them were always heavenly, but he never used it like this, it was always on your nipples or your stomach where he did it. Shinsou wasted no time in easing his thumb over your cheeks to sooth you but it didn't help all that much, the voltage had gone up causing your hips to buck again, thankfully Shinsou had let go of your legs so you could keep them spread to help keep you a bit balanced, your hands gripping the bed sheets and a somewhat desperate needy moan escaping your lips, the electricity ran through out your body and if that wasn't the best feeling his fingers slowly pumping in and out of you, you were starting to whine and drool, your eyes rolled halfway back as your body jerked and trembled from the strange stimulation.

Of course you didn't notice Shinsou and Denki, silently communicating to each other, the way Shinsou told him to up the voltage and pick up the pace of his fingers had Denki shaking his head, telling him to wait as you got use to the sensations and once you did, oh gods... you definitely weren't expecting a rather harsh shock that caused your back to arch and your hips to lift off of the mattress, your expression, gods your expression was so lewd, you had drool falling from your lips and your eyes were rolled completely back. Your body was trembling even more now and the grip you had on the bed sheets was rather intense too. "That one was good Kami~ I think our kitten really enjoyed it~" at this point Shinsou had one hand fondling your breast as the other motioned for Denki to do it again, but this time, well this time Denki pulled his fingers out and plunged them back in, now that harsh shock that was sent throughout your cunt and to your stomach. When Denki had repeated the action you could barely speak because all that was falling from your lips was gibberish.

Your hips shot up once again and this time Denki felt your cunt squeeze his fingers, but what he didn't expect, hell not even Shinsou expected it, was how you started pissing yourself, those juices squirting out onto the bed and onto Denki who didn't move, but he had stopped his quirk. When you had stopped, lowering your hips now into the small puddle you had created, you were embarrassed but your flustered teary eyed expression had Shinsou smiling a little you looked so cute. "My poor pissy kitten~ you looked so cute pissing like that~ did you like pissing on Kami?" Shinsou asked you as he rubbed circles on your stomach trying to ease you, Denki was rubbing soft circles on your thighs. Embarrassed you shook your head. "It's not good to lie kitten~ be honest for us now~ use those pretty little words." He said as his free hand gripped your chin making you look up at the beautiful indigo haired male.

"Y-yes daddy... I-it... felt... good..." she whimpered, you were so embarrassed, but there was no denying that it felt good, it felt different like an orgasm you weren't expecting. "There's my good piss kitten~" Shinsou teased running his thumb over your bottom lip. "It felt really good baby girl~ ah~ but it made me wanna fuck you so bad now~" Denki cooed and Shinsou took this as an invitation to pick you up.

They stripped the soiled blankets off of the bed leaving the bare mattress, luckily you had only messed the blankets, meaning you still had the bed cover.

Shinsou had then slid under you, having you face him and your ass facing Denki which earned a harsh smack on your rear which had you moan out in delight. "We're gonna fuck you until we both feel satisfied baby girl~" Denki said, his fingers slowly threading through your hair before yanking your head back making you whine quietly as you managed to glance back at him, Shinsou's cock just barely teasing your entrance making you moan quietly. "And you'll take us both like you usually do right piss kitten?~" Shinsou's new nickname had sent shivers up your spine, you know he was just teasing you but somehow he made it sound so sexy. "Y-yes daddy~" you whined out and he smiled giving your chest a kiss before the two lined up with your holes. Shinsou taking that glistening piss cunt and Denki taking that cute puckered hole.

Honestly that's how the two liked it, Denki preferred your ass for some reason more than your pussy, although they did switch it up once in a while. Regardless the two wasted no time in sliding into your holes, your back arched slightly and a loud mewl fell from your lips, you felt so dizzy from having their cocks buried in your overly sensitive pussy and ass.

And once they started moving you felt like you couldn't focus on anything but the harsh thrusts of their hips, you were a moaning drooling mess as the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room along with grunts and groans from your husbands. You cried out however feeling that overwhelming orgasm hitting your body once again, the way your legs tensed and you moaned out, "daddy yes! P-please please please~" like a mantra almost made the two smug, they knew that you loved this. "Fuck... kitten you're cumming already?~ how lewd~" Shinsou teased as the thrusts had become erratic and rougher with each movement. It wasn't long till they soon came after you did, groaning at how good your holes felt taking their seed.

They didn't even realise that... well you had passed out.

"Oh shit... she passed out." Shinsou said both of them immediately pulled out and checked on you to make sure you weren't hurt. "Ah she's fine she probably just got overwhelmed from the fucking." Denki said stroking your hair. "Let's get her cleaned up and then let her rest..." Denki then added and Shinsou gave a nod. Denki took the liberty of cleaning you up in the bathroom while Denki changed the sheets and blankets.

Once done, Shinsou had tucked you into bed, somehow you managed to pull the both of them back into bed with you.

"It was surprising that she pissed herself though... It was hot don't get me wrong, but fuck it was surprising I almost didn't know how to react." Denki had said quietly as he stroked your cheek. "Same, we should actually explore it a bit more..." Shinsou mumbled. "Yeah, we should daddy~ also happy birthday." Denki hummed. "And to you baby~"

That day you managed to sleep until late evening, both Denki and Shinsou had prepared dinner, you ended up apologizing for two things, passing out and also not wishing your husbands happy birthday. Which they told you was fine that they had an amazing birthday along with a perfect gift. The gift was you apparently.

-

-

[Genuinely had no clue how to end it but uhhhh yeah hope you enjoyed it, it was my first time trying out a piss kink. ]

[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Ryoga Zaizen Nicknames: Ryo Age: 38 Birthday: September 5th Zodiac Sign: Virgo Birthplace: Hakodate, Japan Current Location: He recently moved to Gzira, Malta, after having lived in Yokohama, Japan for nearly thirteen years. Speaks: He is fluent in both Japanese and English. He is starting to learn Maltese, but can only have a very basic conversation at this point. Dominant Hand: Right Education: He completed junior high, but opted not to continue on to high school and started working instead so he could help out his family. Occupation: Voice actor, mostly in anime and video games. Most of his voice work is in Japanese, but he occasionally does some in English as well. Every once in a great while, he does some live action acting, but it’s not his preference. Vehicle: 2018 Peugeot 5008 SUV in navy blue. Worldly Possessions: Some very nice recording equipment that allows him to do his voicework from home. A small family altar that he doesn’t actually pray to, but likes having around for nostalgic reasons. Lots of toys and things for his kids. Lots of DVDs and blu-rays of various films of all genres, with a whole shelf dedicated to family-friendly movies and shows. Pet(s): He recently got a one-year-old Shikoku Ken, partly to try and distract his kids from all the upheaval and turmoil in their lives at the moment. He wasn't too sure about having a dog at first, but now he really enjoys having a pet. The dog's name is Kotaro, meaning "small boy."

A P P E A R A N C E Height: 6'1" Hair: Ryoga enjoys trying all sorts of different colors and styles with his hair. He's had just about every color of the rainbow in his hair at some point, and when he was younger he experimented with having super long hair, mohawks, all kinds of things. Nowadays he tends to keep it cut into a more sophisticated, conservative style, but he still enjoys dyeing it various colors. Currently it is a light blue-gray. Facial Hair: He prefers to be clean-shaven. Eye Colour: Dark brown Skin Tone: He enjoys spending time outdoors, so he isn't super pale or anything; he has almost an olive undertone to his skin. Clothing: Most of the time he dresses in a fairly casual manner; his go-to look is skinny jeans paired with a graphic tee and either Vans or combat boots. But he also cleans up very nicely when the occasion arises. He has a few suits in various colors, patterns and styles and they all look amazing on him. Ryoga has a good sense of fashion and always manages to dress perfectly for any occasion. Distinguishing Marks: He has tattoos– like, so many tattoos on his arms, hands, chest, back, legs, basically everywhere except his face tbh. Face Claim: Miyavi

H E A L T H Physical Health: For the most part, his health is pretty good– he takes good care of himself, exercises, eats well, etc, especially because he wants to set a good example for his kids. However, he has had mild issues with his heart ever since he was a teenager– he has a slight arrhythmia and bradycardia (slow heart rate), but has managed both conditions fairly well throughout his life. He has had to stay in the hospital a couple of times after his heart rate slowed enough to cause him to faint, but he now tries to stay active and take his medication regularly so it (hopefully) doesn’t happen again. Physical Abilities/Limitations: He has a lot of upper body strength, partly from working out and partly from carrying his daughter around all over the place. He is also surprisingly flexible and enjoys doing yoga and tai chi as a form of gentle exercise. He’s always been good at imitating people/doing impressions and putting on different voices, which is what eventually led him to becoming a voice actor. Addictions: He used to drink a lot, but completely gave up alcohol in his mid-twenties, around the time he got married. This was partly because he wanted to try and be a more responsible person, and partly because his doctor recommended that he give up, or at least cut way back, on alcohol for the sake of his heart. Allergies: Shellfish Mental Health: Ryoga is under a lot of stress right now, so he’s not at his best. He’s had a lot of anxiety over his (very messy) divorce, then a brutal custody battle (he ended up getting sole custody), and then having to get a restraining order against his ex-wife when she kept showing up at their home and trying to get the kids to come with her, then throwing fits when Ryoga stopped her from taking them. Now that they’ve moved to a whole other country, he feels a bit better, less nervous, but he’s still constantly worried that his ex is going to show up any day. He has done his best to drill it into the kids’ heads that if their mom shows up, they are not to go with her and they need to come get him or call the police right away.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Long or Short Job History: His first job was at a small, hole-in-the-wall beef bowl shop when he was fourteen– he started as a busboy but was quickly moved into a kitchen staff position. A couple of years later, he was scouted by a modeling agent and ended up falling into the world of fashion modeling. He wasn’t super famous or anything; he mostly modeled alternative/goth/street fashion rather than anything too mainstream. This allowed him to network with a lot of people who were able to pull some strings for him and get him auditions for voice work, and within a few years, he had transitioned fully into voice acting (which he is now actually pretty famous for– in Japan, at least). Fondest Memories: Some of his childhood memories, such as family trips, or evenings when everyone was home and actually hung out together instead of going to their separate rooms. His wedding day, which is bittersweet to look back on, but at the time was one of the happiest days of his life. The births of both his children. Various anime conventions he’s gone to– he loves meeting fans and talking to them. Worst Experiences: His father losing his job– it sent the entire family into a downward spiral of anxiety and Ryoga always felt he had to walk on eggshells around them. Having to skip out on high school so he could work and earn money to help his family. His parents being more than a little angry with him when he became a model, started getting tattoos, etc., since they thought he was “ruining his life.” His parents later disowning him when he told them he was dating a man. And, of course, the slow and painful death of his marriage which resulted in a very, very messy divorce.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: It depends on the situation. If he’s working or in a more professional setting, then he is very respectful, using only polite language. When he’s with friends, he’s louder and more outspoken, and far less polite– not that he’s rude, just that he has a bit of a mouth on him. With his kids, Ryoga is very laid-back for the most part, speaking calmly to them and keeping a patient, gentle tone. Even when he scolds them, he doesn’t raise his voice much, though he can be very firm when he needs to be. Accent: Ryoga has a noticeable Japanese accent when he speaks English, but it’s not so thick that it’s hard to understand him. He speaks very clearly and enunciates well. Favorite Phrases or Words: Tends to say “Aa! Sou?” when he’s surprised about something, which just means “oh, really?” Also tends to say “ehto” instead of “um” or “uh.” Usual Curse Words: He tries to watch his language when he’s with his kids, though he does slip up on occasion (and they always call him out for it). He does have quite a mouth on him though, both in English and in Japanese, and uses whatever curse word feels most appropriate for the moment.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: INFJ-T Sense of Humor: With his kids, he’s pretty goofy and silly, always joking around with them and keeping them entertained. He does a lot of voices that make them laugh. When he’s around adults, he’s more sarcastic but still on the goofy side more than anything. Habits: He is hardly ever barefoot– he always wears socks or house slippers when he’s inside. He tends to eat rice with every meal if possible, in some form or another, or else it doesn’t feel like an actual meal to him. If he’s wearing any nail polish or anything, he tends to pick at it whenever he gets nervous or stressed out. Quirks: Ryoga really enjoys treating himself to things like spa days, mani-pedis, massages, anything along those lines. He doesn’t do it all the time, but once a month or so he gets someone to watch the kids and just takes a full day to himself to relax. He also loves taking baths and keeps various bath salts and oils around so he can take a nice, long bath at home if he’s had a rough day. Fears/Phobias: Anything happening to his kids; he worries about them constantly. His ex-wife finding him and showing up, even though he has a restraining order against her. He also tends to be a bit secretive about his sexuality, after facing some backlash/discrimination for it in Japan– he’s not exactly afraid of anyone finding out that he’s bi, but there’s a reason why he doesn’t offer that information very freely. Strengths: Something Flaws: Something Hopes/Desires: Something Wildest Fantasy: Something Self-Esteem: Something Religion: Something

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Something Boxers or Briefs?: Something Day or Night?: Something Top or Bottom?: Something Partying or Relaxing?: Something

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Something Relationship History: Something Sexual Partners: Something Thoughts About Sex: Something

P A R E N T S Name(s): Mom and Dad Age(s): Ages Social Standing: Blue collar, white collar, whatever Occupation(s): What they do Religion: What do they believe Quality of Relationship With His Children: Is good or bad? Living/Deceased: Maybe they dead

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): First Last Age(s): Ages Social Standing: Blue collar, white collar, whatever Occupation(s): What they do Religion: What do they believe Quality of Relationship with Character: Is good or bad? Living/Deceased: Maybe they dead

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Where they live

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[elizabethsharmon]

Now that s5 has ended what do you think about it? I remember seeing you be quite vocal about the season and then you just stopped and I was just wondering what your general opinion is. Did the fandom scare you away? :(

hey there! I kind of stopped being so loud about the show here cause at some point I just gave up about s5 and don’t worry, it would take a lot for fandom to scare me away and i’ll be back with my usual bullshit in 2 weeks with s6 clip by clip reactions ✌️ anyway, i was going through my archive while writing this to remind myself of what happened in each clip and what were mine and fandom’s reactions to it and somehow when I started writing this, it turned out I can’t stop and it got quite long so I'mputting it under read more:

So first of all may I just say that the trailer/firstclip was one of my favourite clips of all times. It was just SO GOOD and to meit was like a dream come true cause I was talking about dropping a clip andstarting a season on New Year since July AND THEY DID IT AND IT WAS E P I C,such a power move, I love it. Honestly everything worked there, the music wasamazing, it was so wonderful to see both squads partying together, it wasperfect, 11/10.

Then the season started and I absolutely loved thefirst two episodes, we really started to get into Arthur's head, to get to knowhim and his family, find out how insecure he is and how well he's hidingeverything from others, and Arthur and Alexia clips!!!! They worked so welltogether and were so cute and supportive, I said it back then that if they ruinthem I will never forgive them for that because what was the point of makingthem a couple in the first place?? I still don't understand that, I don't thinkI ever will... Fast forward to the first Wednesday of the season aka underwatermale gaze aka the moment I knew we're in for a ride and it won't be a goodone... When the clip started I was over the moon, I'm a swimming hoe myself andI loved that they used the pool for actual swimming, the cinematography wasbeautiful and I loved that they found a way to incorporate Lisa into the story.That was until Arthur dived and saw Noee... and sadly, this was the firstmoment I emotionally yeeted out from the season. Don't even get me started howwrong it was - 1. using the pool which is a sacred place in the show’smythology; 2. using piano music; 3. peak male gaze, objectifying Noee, andArthur staring at her even though HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND; they were setting it upas a love triangle from the beginning and after those 10+ weeks I still havethe same question about it as I had back then: why. It was also the first timefandom started to be hostile and the shipping war began, some people werecoming to my and my friends' inboxes, sending us anons to stop thinking theworse about Arthur, that love triangle will definitely not happen and thatDavid explained on his insta that they used the setting of pool in another waythan it was used in og s3... Well, jokes on you cause we were right. Anyway thatWednesday clip was to me the first red flag of the season, the first momentwhen some people started attacking others, when the fandom police started formingand suddenly you couldn't say anything because someone would jump on you andsend hate.

But I decided to let it slide, hoping that they reallywouldn't go there (spoiler alert: they did) and then we got Friday clips withelu housewarming (i'm still emo!!!) and Arthur losing his hearing permanently.It was absolutely heartbreaking to find out he lost hearing in his left ear 2years ago, it was a real game changer back then and suddenly everything changed- why he was looking at Alexia so intently, why he didn't cover his left ear atnye party, etc. I absolutely LOVED the way they handled the topic at thebeginning with Jerome explaining everything to Arthur and to us and I LOVED thepositive discourse it started within the fandom with deaf/hoh people teachingothers and explaining things without getting mad at silly questions - tbh to meit was one of the best parts of the first half of the season and I'm reallygrateful for it ❤️

Sunday clips with gang were one of my favourite in theseason, I think Arthur took us all by surprise when he went to elu's flat totell the guys that he can't hear and they were chaotic and supporting andamazing and wow, I really don't understand what the fuck happened and wherethey disappeared in the second half of the season. I loved that they hinted aturbex king Eliott and I kinda feel like that might come back in s6....... butanyway. The 7 amclips were absolutely one of the highlights of the season. They helped to buildsome sort of routine and Robin absolutely nailed them, I could feel howpowerless and more frustrated he was feeling AND I also felt betrayed that wedidn't get one on Thursday and Friday. Even though after the first pool clip Iwas dreading every single next clip there, I really liked that they were showingus that Arthur goes there every Wednesday, it really helped to get inside hishead and to understand him more and I kinda wish they hadn't stopped thatbecause it would be a really power move to keep showing that. Alexia in episode2 was just WOW, i can't believe there were people who were saying she andArthur don't have chemistry or that he should break up with her because she'snot supportive - well, she proved you all wrong. Too bad Arthur was too dumband self-absorbed to appreciate that.

BASILE/ARTHUR FRIENDSHIP. All their clips were solovely and heartwarming, I loved how different Basile was in Arthur's pov toBasile we knew at the beginning of s3; when he didn't want to leave Arthuruntil he said back that he loves him :'))) wholesome. I kinda wish we got tosee more of those two, they're definitely hanging out just the two of them andthat's what was lacking for me, those 3 or so clips of just the two of thembeing wholesome buddies were great but they were not enough.

The party clip on Thursday of ep2 was great, I lovedhow they're giving us little insights of deaf/hoh community and showing usArthur getting drawn to it. I wish that it wasn't overshadowed by love triangleand we got more of it, but I'll be back to it later...

Now, episode 3 and 4 were strong in the term of clipsbut those two weeks were incredibly boring when you were watching it in realtime. The breaks were too long, there were three clipless days each episodewith hardly any social media update and at times it made me forget about theshow completely. The bar clip in ep3 was great until they started sayingproblematic shit and tbh I was really starting to stress over Eliott then -first we got a hint that housewarming party was canceled because he wasn't feelingwell, now over a week later he's not feeling well again and Lucas' "he'smy boyfriend and i love him" was very cute and I loved it but it alsostarted to lead to misery porn and this dread didn't leave me until the end ofthe season and I'm still worried that it will play a part in s6 and it won't behandled well (disclaimer: this is not about the fact that they're talking aboutEliott's MI, it's about how Lucas started to act like a martyr and the way theystarted to show him acting almost like Lucille).

Episode 3 was also the time when I think it becameobvious that Arthur's short outburst of communication was gone and we'll haveto deal with next few weeks of miscommunication, sulking and hiding. Beginningof ep4 was another moment for me when I wanted to escape from this seasonbecause of the fandom police - they created as hostile atmosphere for the fanswatching in real time as druck stans did during s3, when you couldn't commentanything or say anything without other people jumping on you, calling you outand hating you, that for a moment again I was ready to give up on the show. Ireally wish I had done it.

As much as I liked stupid gang content in thecafeteria the whole clip was kinda odd and the 1,5 days break between the clipand laser tag was too much. I feel like the pacing in episode 4 really didn'twork in their favour and the clips could've been placed in another order sothat the breaks weren't so long. The laser tag was such a strong clip withbeautiful cinematography and colouring and it showed us Arthur's problems withsensory overload and again - I wish we could find out more about it because inthe end the clip was too short and cut abruptly only for Arthur to go to Noeeto see her dance in a scene that was pure male gaze, where the camera lingeredon her flat, bare stomach, a few times showing close up of her boobs. And yes.I am aware sing language is a bodily language. But the thing is that itcould've been shown differently, without so many objectifying shots, with Noeewearing different clothes, without Arthur staring at her with his jaw dropped.Arthur who - may i remind you - had a girlfriend at that time. I can watchgore, I can watch open surgeries, I can watch blood, and fight, and beating,and all that without the blink of the eye. i could barely watch the clip ofNoee dancing. I've never felt so sick after watching something in my life, Ihad to go offline for a few hours cause I was feeling so unwell. This was sucha fucked up scene to film in such a way, to objectify her, to use male gaze, touse piano music, slow motion, man looking at her in a predatory way, and thisscene was so wrong on so many levels itself but when you add to it the factthat Alexia NEVER got scenes like that and all her dancing scenes showed her basicallyas a quirky friend having fun at parties. And that's disgusting.

But let's move on to episode 5. I loved all the scenesin the asso, I loved that they showed Arthur actually going to LSF classes, Iloved how he confronted his father about it later. Though episode 5 was alsothe start of the boy squad becoming brainless idiots, lying to his friend,plotting behind his back, going to a concert without him. Episode of beautifulcinematography and skating scene that I watched trying not to think about thefact that Arthur is basically having a date with another girl while hisgirlfriend is studying for her bac, of an oblivious guy not wanting to stop itbefore it's too late and everyone's hearts will be broken.... I loved that hesnapped at the guys in the detention clip. I liked the following clip withAlexia, when they made her talk about her insecurities, showed us how strongshe is but also how fragile she is at the same time. But that Sunday of episode6 was the moment I ultimately realized I don't care any more about this season.It was already ruined for me. Alexia opening up, Alexia asking Arthur aboutNoee and him saying the worst ableist shit ever, Arthur breaking Noee'sheart... Those three clips made me realize that for me it's too late, thedamage is done, and I won't be able to enjoy this season for real. Alexia wasbound to get her heart broken, I was pitying Noee because it wasn't her fault aguy she had a crush on kept on leading her for weeks, and Arthur... I dislikedhim more and more and I just wanted it to be over.

I loved all clips with Laura and Melchior, the playfuldynamic in their interactions with Arthur was one of the best things of theseason and I can't stop but think that we could've had the same thing but withArthur, Noee, and Camille. Meanwhile Noee was reduced to manic pixie dreamgirl, a homewrecker, a plot device, and Camille was there only to translate(and later to be Mika's boyfriend). I really liked the clip with Noee andArthur reading her letter about cochlear implant, it was very informative andit was the kind of content I really wanted to see in this season. The onlything I hated about it - which was a recurring theme in clips with Noee... - isthat Arthur kept forgetting about Alexia and this was so unfair to her.

Now. The Valentine's Day. I loved the sourd datingclip, again, it was something that I wanted to see in the season and it was avery strong clip. But then the rest of the episode... I really wish it didn'texist. Jumping to the pool in clothes???? Arthur sharing his deepest trauma andNoee kissing him??? NOEE AND ARTHUR SHIPPERS JUMPING ON PEOPLE SAYING THAT SHEDID IT TO COMFORT HIM???? Sorry guys, I don't know about you but when myfriends are sharing something traumatizing to me I hug them or hold their hand,I don't kiss them with tongue. Also using a flashback??? It doesn’t go wellwith the show’s format, why was it even used???

Episode 8 was... Episode 8 was wild. And weird. Andstrange. And I don't really know what was the point of it. But despiteeverything crackfic farm au was at least entertaining and it was kind ofsomething we needed then after weeks of will they/won't they and hating Arthur.Whipped elu was everything, the fifi saga was hilarious and I rewatched itaround 50 times and it still makes me laugh - Maxence nailed it but ?? what wasthe point? they killed Eliott's bunny so that he would become vegetarian? Theywanted to traumatize him and cause him to have an episode that was cut in theend? (I really wouldn't be surprised, there are 2 clips missing from firstepisodes each, and probably more in the others). I really don't know what wasthe point. The 6h15 or sth clip was funny but if Lucas and Arthur hugging itout cause sorry bro / it's okay bro / bro / bro is what they're considering aproper apology then I'm sorry but it isn't. What's more, the pacing of thisepisode was incredibly off and the clips didn't add up and there wasn't anynatural flow to it - they should've madetwo clips on Sunday - with Arthur getting to the van and them arriving to thecountryside, two clips on Monday with 6 am and then Daphne and Basile, Fifitrilogy on Tuesday and then right after midnight on Wednesday Arthur and Alexiain the barn. Now, the cheating excusing convo... I was absolutelydisgusted by the boy squad and the fact that YANN who was cheated on in s1advised Arthur to not say anything... wow. Also I really don't like what Eliottsaid there, I understood it in that moment that he was mainly talking from aphilosophical pov that humans are never satisfied in general, but he was sayingthat during the cheating convo, right after he said that he cheated on his gfto get with his bf, he said it while Lucas was right there, knowing that he hasdeeply rooted abandonment issues and this is what made the situation worse. Ithink I'll talk more about the fandom reaction and team's comments later causethere will be a lot to unpack there so yeah, I'll leave it for now.

Because now let's move on to February 21, aka theFriday that changed everything. Can I just say that I have never seen a worseclip ever in my life? That wasn't skam. That was soap opera. And not even agood one. I can't even comprehend how they wrote THIS and thought it was good.I despise the choice of making Noee speak out loud with every fiber of mybeing. First they objectified her, reduced her to the plot device and 1/3 ofthe love triangle, and now they stripped her of her integrity for a guy who wasconstantly leading her on, who has a girlfiend. They made her so desperate tomake him stay with her that she lost a part of himself for him. And for who??For a guy who didn't give a fuck about her? Who constantly played with herfeelings? Who mocked her and her language and her culture and didn't do so onlywhen it was convenient for him? Honestly fuck him, fuck Arthur. And then A CARCRASHED INTO HIM LIKE ????????????? Someone please explain to me what was thepoint of that cause the only one I see was to provide a fandom with a greatfree entertainment.

Now, episodes 9 and 10 were overall much stronger thanthe past few weeks but it was already to late to salvage the season. We gotanother cheating apologists scene which was - again - absolutely disgusting,especially coming from Lucas - who gave Arthur the same advice he gave to Emma- and Yann - who was cheated on and knew from his own experience that stufflike that always come out in the end. It's like all their character developmentfrom previous seasons went down the drain. Arthur on the other hand seemed tohave a character regression with each passing week. I'm still appalled by whatLucas said - that Alex is their friend but Arthur is part of the gang. It wasdisgusting. And it was out of the character. And it was the worst possiblething that could've been said.

Coline's song was so beautiful and I was so happy thatArthur finally realized what he's lost, though I feel like all those intensestaring between Arthur and Noee was unnecessary again, it's like they couldn'tjust give us a break for one clip from them, it's like she was constantlystealing Alexia's moments, whether she was on screen at the time or not.

The clip with elu was sweet and gave us greatwholesome content, but it only confirmed that Lucas' abandonment issues woke upfrom their nap and I'm already dreading what they're planning to do with thatin s6, especially that according to the latest news Lucas is not very presentin the next season... The polyamory talk... It was odd. It felt force. Thebuildup to it wasn't done very well and what' more it was built on cheating.And that's doesn't bode well. It's also quite ridiculous how it took 1 minuteconversation with Lucas or even one sentence from him tbh for Arthur to go"oh yeah I'm poly. I think." and tell Noee that he loves her eventhough he spent the last couple of weeks denying that and pushing her away. IHATE that yet again they made her be so desperate and cry when he was tellingher this. That's not Noee they gave us in the first half of the season. Ireally liked the clip of Laura and Melchior and Arthur giving the presentationto the students but Arthur's grandiose speech to students and then to girls wasso strange, there wasn't any buildup to it, or more likely Arthur that we werehaving on screen from the end of ep 4 till the end of ep9 was gone and the oldArthur finally showed up. But nevertheless it was strange and not very fittingto the way how the story progressed.

NOW the last two clips - first was a little bit shortand I can't say I was a huge fan (though Eliott's kermit-like dance waseverything jdskjdkjjd) but the second clip was absolutely beautiful, we finallysaw Daphne talk, I'm still not sure what to think about Noee/Arthur (not reallya fan of how the story was resolved... or how it wasn't resolved), AND THEMURAL! LUCAS CRYING BECAUSE HE'S PROUD OF HIS BOYFRIEND! ELIOTT ONCE A YEARMAKING A MURAL OUT OF PURE LOVE! EVERYONE CRYING! ELIOTT NOT PAINTING HIMSELFBECAUSE HE DOESN'T CONSIDER HIMSELF PART OF THE SQUAD (although he is, I don'tknow why they don't understand it) and... Lola. But I guess I'll be back to itlater.

So now, I can't say I'm a fan of the season. I enjoyedsome of the clips, but overall it was a mess, love triangle and fandom and crewbehaviour ruined the season for me. I was absolutely disgusted but howprivileged fans acted on tumblr and on twitter. And yes. There are privilegedfans, fans who were shutting others up because they "don't want us to getour hopes up when we don't know what might happen", fans who were sayingthat "you don't know anything haha i can promise you don't know shit hahano i don't know anything and no i'm not jealous haha you just don't know buthaha tell me this oh how stupid you are", fans who were acting like afandom police all the freaking time, yelling at everyone to "wait and see!you don't know what will happen!". Well. We didn't. Because contrary to 5%of the "little ones-fans", the rest 95% is not privileged enough toget a special treatment, to be invited on set for filming, to know the detailsof the plot before the season airs, to know the bigger picture. It's not fair.If you really know everything then great, I'm happy for you, but let the otherswatch the show how they like, let them react to it clip by clip. Because mostof us don't know the bigger picture and don't know what will happen and how theissues will be resolved. And you are aware that the format of the show itselfencourages viewers to react to the events of the story as they resolve onscreen and through transmedia content, right? That's the essence of skam.Taking that away from the regular fans because you've been let in to some innercircle and know it all is absolutely disgusting. Don't interact with the fandomif you can't stand seeing people not agreeing with the writing choices,questioning what they watch and theorizing about what will happen. If you're soabove it, then just stick with the people like you, with those 5% or so ofknow-it-all and "enjoy" the show with them. Don't ruin the fun forothers. You're not better than anyone else. Don't act like it. Don't be ahypocrite. Don't act publicly as a fandom police, criticize everyone who sharesspoilers and call them out and write hateful posts, if you're doing the sameprivately, if you can't shut up when someone sends you a dm or a message offanon and suddenly you spill everything. Don't be fake. If you know stuff, thengreat, I don't know admit it and say that you want say anything or don't sayanything but then don't spread the spoilers and don't write cryptic comments inthe tags. It's not helping anyone and it's definitely not doing anything good.And to people on twitter currently posting what I guess they assume are vaguetweets about cast’s personal lives? Fuck you. You’re so loud, you know? Maybeyou think you’re talking in a special code only you and your friends can guessbut it’s so obvious and so disgusting, you really have no shame. Grow up andget a life.

Another thing that ruined the season for me was theway the crew was acting on twitter and instagram and I’m so so so disappointed by their behaviour,especially that I’ve always considered them as one of the most open-mindedteams who respect their fans and their opinions. Turns out they do that butonly when the reactions to the clips are positive. I mean, I kind of get it,obviously everyone wants to hear the praise, but you cannot ignore thenegative comments and fans’ concerns, especially that there were plenty of themthis season. And during social media age when it takes one click to see theliked posts or comments, it becomes obvious that the crew was only interacting (evenin such a passive way like liking comments or tweets) with fanswho were praising the show. All the negative comments and questions werebrushed off, saying that “the season will reveal its own truth” and that iffans will have any questions they will be answered after. Well, franklyspeaking, me and my friends have a list of questions that we’d love to get ananswer for:

- why was love triangle necessary?- why did they make Alexia and Arthur a couple in the first place if theywanted him to go after Noee?- why did Noee say she doesn't like talking out loud cause sign language is howshe communicates only to yell at Arthur to stop him from leaving, losing herintegrity for a guy who doesn't care about her?- car????????????????????????- cheating convos - why are they excusing it like that- treatment of Alexia & why did they include numerous comments about Alexia'sbody?- THE MALE GAZE - why did the camera focus so much on Noee's body, why was sheobjectified and why was she presented as a stark contrast to Alexia?- fifi?- p*trick and why the abuse was introduced so late in the plot and overshadowedimmediately by cheating and then followed by crackfic farm au?- why didn't we see any Arthur centered clips where he shows he likes art?- why did Arthur and space have no relevance in the season???- why are Lucas and Yann saying shit every time they open their mouths and whydid they forgot about everything that happened in s1?- the whole convo with the boy squad on valentine's day and how shitty theirreaction was - why?- why we didn't see any actual squad interactions on holidays and no realapologies?- why does the life of the characters always has to revolve around romanticrelationships?- why can't men and women be friends unless the man is gay?- what was the point of all the ship wars and skamlaserie photo withArthur/Alexia and Arthur/Noee *especially* after all the comments on twitterand on Instagram when fans were fighting already and it only made thingsescalate? Why not stop it, why pit fans against each other, why let it escalatelike that?- why draw parallels between elu and Arthur/Noee?- Why was Noee reduced to love interest and Camille to translator 90% of thetime and why don't give them similar dynamics with Arthur as Melchior and Laurahave?- how can Arthur see underwater?- Catherine - was she just a queerbait?- tuturo comment from the forum and Arthur's 'relationship' with 34 yo - whywasn’t it mentioned ever again?- how could noee not know arthur has a girlfriend since she was following himon instagram and he had photos with alexia there?- what happened with basile's birthday since they never celebrated them??- in samedi 11:04 (5x10) eliott says "i've got some croissants, do youwant me to heat them up?" which implies that he's already bought them andbrought them back to the flat BUT he's putting his jacket on as if he was aboutto leave and then he leaves and slams the door so what's the truth?

The crew completely invalidated the feelings andconcerns of the fans and what added fuel to the flame for me was thatskamlaserie post with Arthur/Noee/Alexia and caption that they can’t choosecause they love them both and… Honestly, who the hell works there. There’s beendrama for the whole week on twitter and under David’s posts on insta andinstead of finally end it, idk block the comments or just make a statement ORWHATEVER, they posted THAT on the official show’s account?? Why haven’t they stopped it? Why did they keep on pitting fans against each other up to the point that one twitter user started getting DEATH THREATS only because they translated some video??? Absolutely disgusting.@skamlaserie and @fr team: hate to break it to you but there's nothing wrong with being single andthere's plenty of teenagers who aren't in relationships in high school andthat's okay... maybe that's how Arthur should've started the season instead ofbecoming a cheater and leading on two girls at the same time just for the sakeof having unnecessary relationship drama which literally only created somepointless ship wars and put half of the fandom off watching the show... just saying.

Then, another things that rubbed me the wrong way werethe whole “canceling” discourse (that never really happened and I still standby what I said in the comments to this post so I’ll just direct you to it) and imposingthe one “right” interpretation on the fans - I specifically have the cheatingconvo from episode 8 in mind now. We all have a right to our owninterpretations of every scene, here many people saw it as Eliott’s commenthaving an effect on Lucas and his abandonment issues and started commenting onthat on twitter and David had to rush to explain that he hadn’t meant Lucas,that Eliott won’t cheat and that they won’t break up and will stay together.Well, the thing is that there’s such a concept as “the death of the author”which I suppose you can already guess from its name says that the author, theirbeliefs, backstory, opinions, etc. shouldn’t be taken into account wheninterpreting the text because writing (or in this case - a show) and creatorare separate entities and shouldn’t be correlated. First of all, thismetaphorical extinguishing of fire seemed pointless and like a mockery, seeinghow two episodes later it turned out people were right and Lucas really tookEliott’s comment personally and his insecurities and abandonment issues wereshowing up again; secondly, after that there were many comments from the crewabout how Elu will stay forever and never break up and maybe it’s just me but Ithink that was obvious, right? So why would they keep repeating that? Unless…something will happen in s6 that will make us doubt that and it’s a preemptive damagecontrol 🙃

So to sum up this monstrosity that I have no idea ifit even makes any sense BUT ANYWAY: I liked some of the things in s5 but overall Ireally really didn’t like it, some people in the fandom were incrediblyannoying and turned out to be fake and complete hypocrites, and the crew’s behaviour on socialmedia leaves a lot to be desired and I can only hope they will acknowledge anycriticism of s6 and won’t blatantly ignore fans’ criticism again. So that’d beit. If you read it till the end then you’re stronger than Sabrina giffingArthur getting hit by a car and I respect you for that cause even I haven’t reread it, have a nice quarantineand stay safe!

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 38

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: a tiny smut scene, LOTS of discussions between them. btw he’s about to leave for his trip soon and then ill also skip a few weeks. was this chapter okay?

here are the ‘requests’ i added in this chapter!

Chapter 38 : His chapter

NIALL

I couldn't remember the last time I felt this happy with a steady girlfriend, or with a girl at all, so when she proposed to go ice skating, i couldn't say no. I was leaving soon and I wanted to spend as much time with her as i could, which resulted in basically being 24/7 together. I even followed her home when she needed more clothes or something and we also took our showers together. The only times we weren't together were pretty much only when we needed to use the bathroom but even then, sometimes, i would end up just doing nothing while waiting for her. I wanted to say I thought our commitment was too much and that our behavior was over the top but if I wanted to be honest, I didn't give a fuck about what it looked like. I wanted to be with her, so why should I stop myself?

"Can you even skate?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as she put her skates on.

She chuckled and I saw a cloud coming out of her mouth. It was cold, colder than we were used to for this time of the year, but she didn't seem to mind. She pulled on her beanie to hide her ears better and it made me smile a bit.

"Not really." she admitted with a shrug. "You know I suck at sports. But I thought it could be fun."

She got up and I did the same, searching for her hand to hold it in mine. We were both wearing gloves and I tried to squeeze her fingers as she pulled me closer to the rink. A bunch of people were already there and I was a bit annoyed to realize they were still playing Christmas songs even if we were in the middle of january. Did they want to kill us?

"Christmas songs never seem to end." I pointed out, groaning a bit and making her laugh.

"Oh come on, you love Christmas songs!"

"I'm overdosing." I just replied before slowly putting one foot on the ice.

Olivia was holding my hand a lot tighter and I realized she was trying to keep her balance. We ended up skating slowly together and the more time passed, the easiest it seemed to get. After a while, we were just skating slowly, still holding hands and enjoying the day. I noticed she kept glancing at our hands together and it sort of amused me.

"What?" I just asked, making her look up at me.

"Oh nothing." she replied with a shrug, her lips still curled.

"Does that bother you?"

I moved our hands up a bit to show her our intertwined fingers and she just shrugged again, shaking her head.

"No, no, I thought it would bother you though." she explained as I let our hands fall back between us. "You know, PDA and all."

"You know i'm not trying to hide you, right?"

Her smile turned into a soft one and she looked up in my eyes, glancing from time to time in front of herself to be sure not to trip. It made me want to kiss her.

"I know Niall, i've been around you long enough to know you just want to save this, to keep it private, and i'm okay with it, you know I am."

It was incredible how easily she understood me and I knew it was partially because we grew up together but I couldn't help but think it was also because our personalities just fitted so well together that we could just connect and understand each other. I was about to answer when she shrugged once again.

"As long as it's not because you're ashamed of me."

Her words hit me hard and I felt my heart jump in my chest from thinking she could believe that for one second.

"No way, no." I just let out, not really sure how to prove otherwise. "Look."

Without an other word, I brought her hand up, extending both our arms up in the air to show our intertwined fingers. She laughed but I could see her eyes sparkling and somehow, I loved it. She chuckled a bit and it's only when she almost tripped on her feet that I brought our hands down, trying to help her get her balance back.

"It's okay, Niall, you didn't have to do that, I trust you." she explained even if I could swear that my reaction reassured her. "Besides, you did sing for me in front of a public. That's hard to forget."

"Oh because you're trying to?" I joked, raising my eyebrows and pretending to be insulted. "That was unforgettable."

We had slowed down without realizing it and we finally stopped skating completely. She put herself in front of me, still holding my hand tight, and I sent her an amused smile as people kept moving around us.

"It really was the best moment of my life." she confessed so low that I barely heard. "Totally unforgettable."

I smiled more and bent down to kiss her but we both jumped when we heard someone say her name very close to us. She turned her head quickly before our lips could touch and her expression changed into a surprised one. I was a bit bothered that someone would disturb us but it quickly turned into annoyance when I realized who it was.

"Rian?"

I was not sure if she was happy or just surprised but when he hugged her, I suddenly felt out of place. I was pretty sure I was dating Holly when she started dating Rian and I remember being annoyed back then, too. He was too kind, too caring, too perfect.

"Oh my god, Rian, I haven't seen you since..."

He pulled away from her and laughed with a shrug.

"Yea I can't remember either, how have you been?"

They started chatting for a while and the fact that he ignored me didn't get unnoticed. I waited an other minute and finally coughed to get their attention before looking at him and sending him a fake smile. I was pretty sure he could read in my face that I wasn't super happy to see him but he didn't say anything.

"Horan, hey mate!"

He showed his hand and reluctantly, I slapped in it.

"Wherever Olivia is, Niall isn't too far." he added with a chuckle. "That's what everyone always said."

I held my breath at his words, a bit shocked that I hadn't heard that before even if apparently, all of our friends said it. It was even more surprising knowing that we were both taken yet our friends still took time to mention how close we were.

"I see it's still true!" he continued, realizing we weren't going to comment on it. "Still as close as you used to be?"

"Closer." I replied, searching for Liv's hand with mine and grabbing her fingers.

I saw his gaze fall on our hands and then he looked up with a cheeky smile. For some odd reason, I wanted him to lose that stupid smile.

"So it finally happened? I should have bet money on that." he joked, laughing a bit before my girlfriend joined it.

"Yea, it did." she just said before changing the subject. "What are you doing in London?"

"Oh, I moved here! It's been a few years actually."

He kept talking about what he had been up to in the past few years and I just turned to Olivia. She was staring at him, listening carefully to his words and laughing at his jokes, and my jealousy seemed to falter slightly. I tried remembering how i felt for her back then but all I could see in my mind was the first time i saw them kiss each other. I hadn't been jealous the way I was jealous now but it was still jealousy. Probably jealousy from seeing her happy with someone else than me, or jealousy because I knew she wouldn't be able to spend as much time with me as she used to. Either way, it was bad, and I had decided to focus on Holly instead.

"We should go."

I had no idea why I had said that but they both stopped everything and turned to me before Liv sent him a smile.

"He's right, it's getting late."

"Hey, give me your phone, i'll add my number and maybe we can hang out?"

Without thinking, I squeezed her fingers tighter as she handed him her phone with her free hand. It seemed to take forever until he gave it back and he got closer to kiss her cheek before shaking my hand again but it's only when he left that my grip on her fingers loosened a bit. I turned to look at her and I thought she would make a comment but she simply smiled at me and licked her lips.

"Let's go home, i'm dying for a cup of hot chocolate."

"Yea, good idea."

We left the rink and put our boots back before walking to my car in silence. I had the feeling I made things tensed between us but in the middle of the ride, she turned to look at me with an amused smile. I glanced at her and frowned but didn't have time to ask anything.

"Niall, I have no intention on seeing Rian again."

I shrugged, trying to show that I didn't mind, but it made her laugh.

"I noticed, you know." she started, making me frown more. "How you reacted around him. Even back then, when we were younger, you couldn't stand him."

"He was always sort of an arrogant prick." I mumbled with a groan, making her laugh even more. "I know he treated you well, and he really cared for you, and he was nice to you... but he was still an arrogant prick. And he still is."

This time, she laughed louder and it made me grimace but I couldn't help but enjoy her happiness and amusement.

"I give you that, he really is." she added before getting more serious. "And you clearly claimed your territory." she half-joked.

"I'm sorry, Liv." I apologized as I parked the car in my driveway.

I sighed as I stopped the car and we got out of it. We walked to the door and I unlocked it and after we put our skates and coats away, she followed me to the kitchen, sitting on the counter as she looked at me preparing us two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows. She was swinging her legs and I noticed how her thick socks were rolled over her sweatpants. It made me smile more but I decided to focus on our drinks.

"You lost your virginity to this guy, didn't you?"

I asked but I already knew. Someone had told me about it and I had waited for her to share this information with me but she never had. I couldn't blame her, though, since I hadn't told her when and to whom I lost my virginity either. She wasn't answering and I finally looked up only to see her looking down at her hands as she was playing with her fingers nervously.

"Liv?"

"You were dating Holly and... Willie told me you had sex with her." she shrugged, still avoiding my eyes, and it made me sad. "I don't know, I guess I always had the dream that we'd do it together, so it sort of hurt me really bad."

"I'm so... so sorry, Olivia."

"No!" she let out, looking up at me and sending me a sad smile. "No, Niall, don't apologize, it's not your fault and you didn't owe me anything. I guess I just wanted to get rid of it too."

"Get rid of what?" I asked, bringing her her mug and standing in front of her as she took a sip.

"My virginity."

I stared at her for a few more seconds in silence as she drank more, making a grimace as she burned her tongue. I watched as she pushed a lock of her messy hair behind her ear and took a step closer, putting my untouched hot beverage on the counter. It caught her attention and she looked in my eyes again.

"The next day I saw Rian at a party and... yea, I invited him home." she admitted, shrugging a shoulder. "And we did it. And then we started dating."

I didn't know what to tell her and I just stared at her again, wishing I could take away all the pain I could see in her eyes. I regretted so many things yet I knew that apologizing wouldn't change anything and would probably just make her feel guilty so I just took an other step closer and put my hands on her thighs. My palms brushed on her pants and reached her waist as I tilted my chin up to look into her eyes.

"Do you wanna watch a movie before bed."

She sent me a fond smile and nodded slightly as her eyes moved from mine to my lips. I pulled her closer, her ass sliding on the counter and making her chuckle. She brought her free hand on my cheek, her palm very warm since she had held her mug for a while, and i smiled at her. She bent down slightly and our lips met as her fingers slipped down on my neck. Neither of us deepened the kiss. She just brushed her parted lips gently and very slowly against mine as we stared at each other.

"I'm a bit obsessed with you." she admitted in a low tone, the right corner of her mouth moving up. "I'd literally lock myself in your room with you and fuck for days."

I laughed against her mouth and nibbled gently on her bottom lip, making her smile more.

"Yea?"

"Oh yea."

I pulled away a bit and let my eyes fall on her lips as I felt her thumb rub softly on the skin of my neck. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me even closer to her.

"Don't tempt me."

She started laughing and kissed me again before loosening her grip and letting me move back. She put her mug on the counter and got down before following me to the living room. We remained silent as I turned the tv on and the lights off and she brought a blanket on the couch. We ended up cuddling under it while a Christmas movie was playing. She was leaning against my chest, between my legs, and I let my fingertips brush gently on her arm, giving her goosebumps. I felt like we were exactly where we were supposed to be and nothing else seemed to matter.

She tilted her head up and I looked down, sending her an amused smile before she sent me a fond one. I moved closer and kissed her lips again. Slowly, she turned around and got on her knees, her mouth still attached to mine, as i let my arms rest on the back of the couch. She deepened the kiss and moved her knees on each sides on my thighs to straddle me. I gripped the couch hard with both hands when she pressed her inner thighs against my cock and groaned in her mouth. I couldn't stop thinking about her wet pussy rubbing against me and drenching her panties and I finally brought my hands to her face to cup her cheeks, pushing my back away to sit straight.

"You're such a little tease." I whispered with a smirk as my hands slid down on her sides to reach her waist.

I tried to slip my hand past the waistband of her sweatpants but she grabbed it and brought it back to her waist, allowing her lips to leave mine but still remaining very close.

"Don't move." she whispered as she started rubbing herself quickly over me.

I could feel my dick swell against her and I whimpered very low when her pussy ground against my tip. The friction was becoming too much and I started feeling an orgasm form in the pit of my stomach. It was unbelievable how quickly she could make me cum and I brought my hands to the bottom of her shirt, moving it up over her breasts. I reached in her back to take her bra off and grimaced in annoyance when I realized I was struggling. I was too horny and couldn't focus on anything else but how she moved over me. She chuckled and stopped moving to help me take her bra off and my eyes immediately fell on her breasts. I ran my hands up on her sides before grabbing both gently. She started moving again and I reached for one of her nipples with my mouth, running my tongue on it before moving to the other.

"Fuck, i'm so close." she whimpered, running her hand in my hair and pulling on it slightly. "Oh.. oh god."

My hands gripped her waist tighter, my fingers sinking on her skin, as I helped her move over me.

"Do it petal, cum for me, soak your panties just for me." i let out low in a husky voice.

Her grip tightened in my hair and she started shaking over me. I watched her for half a second but couldn't stop myself from reaching in her panties. Quickly, I rubbed her clit through her orgasm, making her eyebrows raise and her lips part. The sight was beautiful and the feeling even better. She came on my fingers and the whole thing was so sexy I almost got an orgasm too. She bent down to kiss me but I quickly put my fingers in her mouth and watched her suck on them, taking them completely in her mouth, as she grabbed my hand with both of hers.

"Dry humping has never been so hot." I admitted with a laugh as she took my fingers out of her mouth with a low 'pop'.

I let my fingers slide between her breasts, leaving a wet trace on my way as my eyes followed them down.

"You drive me fucking insane." I admitted before looking back up at her.

"Where do you want to cum?" she just asked, ignoring my comment, and without thinking, I moved my eyes on her breasts again.

My cock was painfully hard by then and when she got off of me, I groaned, wanting to just pull her back on top of me. She held her hand out and I took it before getting up too. She tilted her head and the smirk she sent me almost made me cum right then. Slowly, she got on her knees and unzipped my pants before quickly pulling them down and bringing my boxers with them. She took my cock with both her hands and started stroking it as I watched her but it didn't take me long to be close to my orgasm again.

"Fuck..." she let go of me and I started jerking myself off as she moved up on her knees, bringing her upper body closer to me. "I've been thinking about cumming all over your tits a lot recently."

She bit her bottom lip and cupped her breasts for me, tilting her head again and raising her eyebrows up.

"Please do it, i'm really craving your cum right now." she whispered. "I really want it all over me."

She looked so innocent and vulnerable that one of my legs started shaking as I came on her breasts. I groaned when I got down from my high, rubbing the tip of my cock in my cum to spread it on her more but focusing on her nipples. The feeling was amazing and I could swear I heard her whimper too. I was panting and my whole body was throbbing but I just closed my eyes, trying to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace.

"Come here." I said, bending down a bit to help her up before kissing her gently. "I'm really thinking about your proposition. Locking ourselves in here for weeks seems like the only solution."

She laughed against my mouth and i did the same, not really sure how long we spent just kissing each other. All I knew was that the movie was over when we pulled away and I took a step back.

"You need a shower." I pointed out, glancing down at her breasts and making her chuckle. "And so do i."

We cleaned quickly in very warm stream of water and ended up in bed again, the lights off and the room in complete silence. There were so many things rushing to my brain and even if I knew we had so many things to talk about, the only thing that came out of my mouth surprised me probably more than it surprised her.

"Did you love him?" I asked low, my hands behind my head.

I tensed at my own words and stopped moving but I could swear she could hear my heartbeats echo against my chest.

"Who, Rian?" she asked, turning her head my way. "No, not really. I mean, I liked him a lot, but it was nothing like love."

I just nodded but remained silent, feeling stupid for even asking. I didn't know why I had been so jealous earlier, when we saw him, and I would never stop her from seeing her friends, but I couldn't pretend I wasn't happy that she had no intention on calling him.

"What about you?" she asked in a soft voice, turning her whole body my way. "Which of your ex girlfriends did you love?"

My lips curled into a smile and I closed my eyes for a few seconds before doing what she did and turning my body her way to face her. I blinked a few times to see her better as my eyes got used to the darkness and I could read in her face that my answer was making her nervous. I brought my hand up and moved a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I thought I loved a few of them..  very few of them." I pointed out, the right corner of my lips moving up as my eyes roamed on her. "But then I admitted to myself that I loved you and it made me realize that what I felt before, for the other girls... it wasn't love. Nothing felt half as good, intense and real as what I feel for you."

Her eyes seemed to flutter and she moved closer to press her lips against mine slowly and softly. I moved my arm around her waist and kissed her back very gently.

"Now that I think about it, I wish I would have lost my virginity with you." I confessed again in a whisper. "We were close, the closest I ever was with a friend, and I trusted you more than I trusted any of the girls I dated. We should have lost our virginity together, Olivia. I'm sorry I didn't realize that before."

She didn't answer but I knew she felt the same. It was too late, though, and it's impossible to go back in the past but at least, she knew I regretted it. If I had known back then what I know now, things would have been different. It was stupid to dwell on the past but it was important for me to tell her that I was sorry, even if I couldn't change it.

I kissed her again, my lips brushing against hers and feeling her warm breath on my skin. I had never felt like that with anybody and it was scary to think it was the first and last person i'd feel that way for but I knew it was true.

"I want to spend my life with you."

The way she had whispered made me shiver but her words made something jump in my chest. She was literally telling me she wanted me to be the last lover she'd ever have and the thought suddenly scared me. I could feel my heart thump hard and fast in my chest and I swallowed, unsure of what my answer should be. I didn't want to tell her that life isn't easy, that things and people change, and that we had no idea where we'd be in a year, even if it was exactly what I thought, because i didn't want to hurt her. Not again. I had hurt her enough before, she deserved to be happy now and today had been too perfect to end up on a bad note by stating ugly facts and inevitable truths. Plus, I loved her more than anything but I was still 22, and life was long and tough.

I pulled her closer to me and stared in her eyes for a few seconds, telling myself that there was no way I was ever going to lie to her, and just decided on telling her how I felt and what I was totally sure about.

"I love you, Olivia." I whispered back. "I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always love you."

[gelo-p]

Cycling Seasons, Fresh Skies: Memories

I knew from a long time ago that if I’d ever go for a T10, this would be it. When the event was finally getting closer, early estimates told me I was 900 flames short; I’d have to buy stars for this event.

(WARNING: A rather image-heavy post)

Perhaps the moment I honestly considered T10 instead of settling for T100.

Definitely the moment I knew there was no turning back. :)))

Believe me, this was not the only purchase I made for this event.

I needed a better Challenge Live team, so I knew getting a 4* Happy Ran is required, to complete my Happy Afterglow team. I’ve never gotten any 4* Ran before, so thank god the 4* Exchange Ticket had the perfect timing.

“WAIT. YOU WERE USING A HAPPY TEAM ALL THIS TIME???”

Yep. ^^ Well, my Multi Live team was Powerful Afterglow-based, but had only 2 4-stars, sooo I knew it wouldn’t cut it.

There she is <3

I’ve always stopped at Skill Level 4, but I really had to pull out all the stops. Ran is my first Skill Level 5 member. ^^ (everyone in my CL team also received the level 5 upgrade)

Alright, let’s do this! Hey Hey Hoh~!

The event has finally begun! I initially found it amusing seeing all sorts of titles being shown off. This one in particular stood out to me. XD

(Looking back, that Sinz person would later turn out to be a serious T10 contender. I think they changed their name to Pyokun after some time)

Here’s a screenshot of a rare T5 GeLö-P. I really wanted to share this with you guys, but I figured I’d jinx myself by revealing publicly what I was trying to do. :>

(I will doubt the existence of God Almighty, but believe in being jinxed. Life is weird sometimes.)

Well, that’s the Grand Room for ya’. Meta songs all the way~

How do you even react to that?

With this. :)))

NEXT YOU’LL SAY FUEEEEE

Home Street...

Home Street.......

HEY HEY HOH~! 

The moment I ran out of large energy drinks, and had to start spending stars. </3 Small energy drinks were still reserved for moments I can afford to wait out the 30-minute refill timer.

The 5 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

My first time doing the “recover waaaaay more than 10 flames” thing

Huhehe huhehe huhehe...

I too would like some of those Afterglow pins. T_T

Baby Shak my as-

Aaaand we have a dodger, ladies and gentlemen. XD

I think this guy needs to be banned.

Home Street? Pssh, that was so yesterday. Jumpin’ is the shit now.

Ganbatte, P5.

Himari~

My 2nd encounter with Ghostkillers (who later become T12..?). He chose Senbonzakura the first time, so when he did it again, I thought I’d save it for posterity. ^^

The “I too would like to live dangerously” gang 8-)

The first time I switched away from my dua T100 titles. I figured I’d stop trying to “scare” the competition.

First time tracking T10 scores. This would later prove to be very useful in seeing if my projection will hold (although I shifted to tracking T3 - T12).

Taking a break, so I watched ads for free flames. :)))))

Moca, Ran, GeLö-P, and a weird name. Huh. Okay.

Kyu~Mai * Flower was released! Played this one on Hard.

...this one I played on Expert...

...and thank fuck I got it first try, because oh boy I’m not playing that beat map again. >_<

“Ban me if you can” ?? Why??

Aaaaand this motherfucker right here was cheating and inflating his score. I personally reported him to the game admins over on twitter, and they’ve informed me that they were already aware of this idiot. Saw him just once more after this.

Yes. That’s 91 million, 798 thousand, 346.

I actually encountered them once before this, but didn’t notice anything off about their score (was already dazed at that time). And then a discussion started over at reddit, so when I met him again, I took screenshots.

Ganbatte :))

Had time for a quick hey hey hoh spam ^^

Which day was this..? Anyway I came up with my brilliant pun. Read the comment, see if you can figure it out. :3

MocaRan and YukiLisa. Sigh. I don’t think we can be friends, P5.

:)))

Told you, Ghostkillers only pick Senbonzakura XD

Tomoe’s Birthday! ^^

Even the game won’t let you have a GF, P5. XD

HEATHCLIFF STOP PICKING BABY SHARK

(almost sure they’re famous in the competitive scene... I don’t know them tho LOL)

I woke up one morning to find there was no internet.

FUCK ME

I knew mobile data was going to result to multiple disconnects, but thank fuck I had lots of challenge points to spare. I passed the time productively, and by the time I was done, internet was back. Whew.

Rank update: currently T8. ^^

More of Ghostkillers x Senbonzakura and JFC that name tho P2

Shitpost comment XD

First time seeing 2 other T10 contenders in the same room: Itsuki and Ghostkillers.

Probably the point where I started spamming Tokimeki Poporon instead of Home Street.

Also there’s a looot of interesting names in Bandori.

As a YukiRan / MocaLisa shipper (well more of SayoLisa nowadays), it is my job to destroy players 1, 3, and 5. >:(

Wallet: IT’S NOT POSSIBLE

Me: NO, IT’S NECESSARY

...aaaaaand I immediately threw away 10k stars hoping for Megane Ran, but got shit. (This would later force me to make 2 more purchases XD Seriously though, I could have saved a lot of money with a better star purchase plan)

I got Loli Rinko tho. <3

Which day was this...? I think this was the moment I knew Ghostkillers has given up. I was laughing my ass off reading the comments. I think everyone of us was half-dead at this point. XD

And so we’re down to the final 11.

I’ve started considering the possibility at this point that I might be the final one to bow out.

OMG I CAN’T SEE PLAYER 2

BUSHIDO~!

I was feeling the despair at this point, and thus started singing Komm Susser Tod

I do mini-sprints in the morning, so I’m T6 here. I usually fall back down to ~T9 in the afternoon.

I usually level up once per event. I started this event from Rank 193. :)))

(well it was technically 192, but I was like 2 games away from leveling up)

XD

There are no experts in this room :v

Jumpin = NO FEVER, but picks meta song anyway. Okay. :v

Hey! All Random!

Game: DID SOMEONE ASK FOR A META SONG

I have a lot of friend requests at this point (probably from people seeing me on the T10 list), but I don’t have enough space to accept them all :((

Bread-themed profile!

Poppin’ Party, Puff n’ Pastry... get it?

Itsuki started spamming BOF at this point.

Doki doki~

HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME~ ♪ ♫

P1 is an IRL friend :))) I’d later tease her about how slow she is picking songs LOL

Some Initial D reference for overtaking :P Of course I was badly falling behind at this point (T9 is hella dangerous), but I had no choice but to continue to believe in the math (and that early overtaking is a bad choice).

“Early moves lets your opponents recover from mental shock.” - Ryosuke Takahashi, Initial D 3rd Stage

No seriously, that’s exactly what I was thinking of. And also “Not yet, not yet, now” from Ford v Ferrari.

P1 & P5 get married already...

FINAL NIGHT.

I’m down to T11, and everybody else already did 2.3M-sprints some hours earlier, and have considerably slowed down.

I, on the other, was about to go to sleep. Yes, I, the current T11, was about to let the others pull away. All I could do was believe in the Math at that point, because let me tell you-

I had 105k challenge points left. That’s 3.4M event points I had yet to sprint.

This was during the final morning, 9 hours before event ended. When I woke up that morning, my heart was pounding like crazy. What if everybody has pulled ahead?

When I finally checked, most of the T10′s were still in the 17M-range. Itsuki was on T10, and he was only 500k away. I knew at that point that my chances were pretty good; however, I shut up about it, set my comment to “Now Playing: Running in the 90′s”, and got to work.

There was nothing else I could to but consume all the CP I had left. No more tracking. A literal 5-hour non-stop sprint to 19.2M points. If they can still catch up even after they’ve already expended their CP yesterday, then maybe I don’t deserve this T10 after all.

All I need to do was beat one of them. It was me or them.

Holy shi-

I wasn’t out of the woods yet, had to make sure at least one of them didn’t overtake me. Of course that was more up to them, since I didn’t have any strength left (my thumb stopped working at that point, no seriously, it’s still not working properly even today). I also didn’t have any significant stars left.

I managed to sneak in a few songs, but that was it. I was done. The others managed to close the gap, but I stayed in T6.

And then the event was over.

I fucking did it.

------

I would later learn that this was the bloodiest (Challenge Live) event in the history of ENdori. In one redditor’s words, I “ ...sure picked a hell of a time to go for it.”

I had no choice. This is Megane Ran we’re talking about. <3

I had some idea tbh, because I managed to read a tweet in the middle of the event, that “this was one lit T10″. Apparently we were on track to beat the previous record-holder, which was Sayo’s Umbrella event.

I’m... really glad to have been part of this event. I feel so darn proud of myself. >:3

But I couldn’t have done it without the help of the Grand Room. Seriously, I only played in the Grand Room.

Remember this?

I don’t have (competitive) friends. :))) So thank you, all. *bow*

I’d like to thank IRL-friend otearaisu over at twitter for putting up with my excessive score projection updates. XD I have a really detailed excel sheet to check if I was on track or not, and whenever there were developments, I’d always tell him about it, even in the dead of the night. XD

------

Would I ever do this again? Probably not. This was the only event that I knew I really wanted to go for, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Maybe I’ll get a couple of T100′s in the future, but that’s it. ^^

See you in the lobby~

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #277

“i think we could reach heaven if we go through hell”

What are you currently listening to? "Heaven" by Solence. Has your father met the boy you currently love? I don’t love a guy, just his memory. I don’t think it’s accurate to say “yeah I love him” when I haven’t spoken to/associated with him since one talk in 2017. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? My sisters. I barely ever see/talk to my cousins at all. How many people have you really fallen for? Two. Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Probably not ‘til my sister’s wedding next year. Why did you last cry? Oh god it’s so cheesy but it was during the Unus Annus video where Mark, Ethan, and Amy were out in the desert watching Neowise and just talking about life and shit. I legit sat in silence just thinking for a while after I finished it. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Shit, not even 10 minutes. Sometimes not even five. I don’t do anything special at all, just get dressed, brush teeth, and comb my hair. Would you ever take back someone after they cheated? Nnnnope. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? Well considering we jumped back and forth from hating each other to being friends like five times as kids,,,, lmao. But on a serious note, it’s rare now. I don’t exactly count arguments tho. Do you want to see somebody right now? I wanna hang with Sara so bad mayn. Do you get distracted easily? YEAH. Do you think that someone has feelings for you? Yeah. Do you still talk to the person that you last kissed? On the daily. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I’m chill with such a variety of people that you know you can be free of judgment. The only thing you’d have to understand is how quiet I am and that it does not equate to me being disinterested in you or anything, as people have apparently thought. Have you ever had a pet goldfish? As a kid. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. Are you short? I’m of an average height for someone my gender, age, and nationality or whatever it’s called. Is there anything stressing you out currently? bruuuuuhhhhh I am ALWAYS stressed about something. What’s something that you cannot wait for? This fucking pandemic to end. Just wear your goddamn masks and stay in your fucking houses ‘n shit and maybe we’ll move forward. What was your favorite grade? So it’s super ironic: 7th. Which is when my depression manifested. I just have a lot of good memories with excellent teachers and friends. Are you afraid of shots? “Fear” is the wrong word for it, but there’s certainly a tense feeling before you get one. It’s not the needle that really hurts, it’s whatever medicine is being injected. Always stings. Were you an adorable baby? I was tbh, but I had nothing on my little sister. Nicole was so fucking cute. Are you happy with who you’re becoming? No. Do you want children? No. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not “a lot,” no. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Definitely really slow. Really fast is nooot my style. I mean, neither is very slow, but I’d definitely prefer it and feel more secure in it. When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first? Uhhh I think left? I do this so rarely that I don’t really know lol. How many exes have you talked to today? One. Are you tan? lol hell no. I never have been. Do you use any acne medication? I use a facial scrub to exfoliate and prevent acne, does that count? Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My half-sister I’ve never met. I know almost nothing about her so can’t answer the second question. Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? Not really, no. Are you emotional or very stoic? I’m emotional as hell. How many states have you lived in? North Carolina has kept me hostage my whole life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Me mum. How do you want to die? Eek, idk man. Part of me says fast as to avoid pain or a gradual, torturous decline in health, but at the same time I want my life to conclude after like… accepting it and not taking my last days for granted. I also don’t want the sudden surprise on my loved ones. Are you scared of spiders? Okay, so this is very situational. If a spider surprises me, I’m most likely going to gasp/scream/curse and try to get away. However, I find them very, very fascinating to watch and are beautiful and some even cute in their own right. I respect their existence and position in the ecosystem. I’ve held a tarantula before and even want two (… or ten) as a pet, so I can’t be THAT scared of them. Oh, and I’m much more likely to be spooked by ones with long legs and particularly small bodies. Idk, it’s weird. Do you have trust issues? fuck YES I do. Who/what was your last dream about? I know Jason was in it, but that’s no surprise. I remember someone randomly trying to kill me again lmao. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I’m sure it was Mom. Who was your last text from? Sara. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The fuck is wrong with you if you sleep with it open?????????????? Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. I don’t think we were ever in a hotel together, and besides, it’s p gross imho. I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t lmao but I hope I wouldn’t. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, that’s never made sense to me? My sister stole a traffic cone once tho lmao. She legit just wanted to do something sketchy. Highkey badass, amirite. Are you reading any books right now? I’m very slowly reading Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret by Tui T. Sutherland. I’m going through one of my junctures of little reading again, even though I’m enjoying the book as I do with the series. Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook? Some dude I had no mutual friends with or anything. How recently did you wash your hands? Last time I went to the bathroom. Did the last person you kissed have facial hair? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? Girt. Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them? I have one sister younger by two years, and I’d kill for her even if we’re not all that close. What are the other members of your household doing at this moment? I’ve actually been home alone for around two weeks now and am MIRACULOUSLY doing totally fine. My mom had to take an urgent flight to NY because her mom is dying. Sadly much slower than they expected. She’s not in pain due to medicine, but nevertheless, it’s torture for her. She can't do anything. Do you have any neighbors that you don't get along with? Not really, but there is someone to our right that constantly has music playing outside, and sometimes it’s annoying. In the past week, have you slept past midday? No. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Name the last song that made you cry. “Lovely” by Billie Eilish, I think. It reminded me of Jason. Do you use Twitter? Not really, no. I only ever check it to look at Mark’s lmao what a shocker. The last time something scared you, what was it? One of my nightmares last night. A huge spider was hurrying towards my face from the wall and I actually scrambled out of bed irl, therefore nearly passing out bc I can't get up fast w/o getting extremely dizzy, oof. Who was your first best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends anymore? On Facebook, anyway. We haven’t talk-talked in many years. Who is your best friend right now? Sara. How old were you when you found out what sex was? I was in the 4th or 5th grade, whatever age you are then. I definitely learned later than most, it seems. Had no idea until sex ed in school. Name one quirk you have that drives people crazy? I pace badly, and I’ve been told by numerous people it makes them anxious. Who is your favorite Disney villain? Probably Scar. You gotta admit his scheme was pretty clever, and he had a BUMPIN song. Would you have children if a surrogate could carry it for you? No, I still wouldn’t. Do you have an account for any social platform that you rarely/never use? Yeah, like Twitter. What do you most frequently take photos of? Nature. Do you ever wear hats? What does your favorite hat look like? No. Have you tried any foods or drinks for the first time today? Which? No. Does anyone close to you smoke cigarettes? My dad. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel nostalgic? Motionless In White recently covered "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into any of them. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Oh, totally pasta. Coleslaw is fucking disgusting. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I hope. Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? I have a vertical labret and did have snake eyes, and I adore(d) both; however, I prefer my lip ring. It’s like, a part of my identity by now lmao. Last time you were attacked by an animal? I don’t think an animal has ever seriously hurt me, instead only through playing too rough. I get scratches from Roman every now and again from it. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? Never. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? So one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is accidentally agree to being a martyr, because at the time, I thought it only meant like, you’d die for what you stand for, which in most serious cases, I would. I didn’t know that wasn’t the kind he meant; he meant I was trying to make shit all about me and throw a pity party about the breakup. I didn’t learn that was the “common day” definition until a long time after when I was no longer in contact with this person. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY VERY VERY. Have you ever been busted for underage drinking? No. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I don’t have a “lover.” Have you witnessed a fight at school? So shortly after returning to class in the 10th grade, a girl deadass got stabbed in the neck during a fight nearby my classroom. I (nor my classmates) actually saw it, just heard. Safe to say the assailant was expelled, and the other girl was lucky to have her throat missed, though that was apparently what the other girl was aiming for. She went to the hospital of course, and that’s all I know. Who did you last get into a big argument with? Probably Mom. Do you drink lots of water? Sigh, no. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Before my last period I had a day of such bad cramping that I decided to go back on birth control. I originally started it for that but stopped to see how it would affect my mood, and now I absolutely need it back. Interested in anyone at the moment? Yeah. Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to? Besides historical people, no. Are you guilty of texting while driving? ”I don’t drive, but I am so against doing that. Please don’t. It only takes a second of distraction for something to go wrong. Keep your eyes on the damn road.” <<<< This right fuckin here. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? I don’t know. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? Uhhh I think scissors? Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, but they’re all projects I abandoned. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Not that I recall, no. Do you have high standards? Honestly yes when it comes to relationships (which is what I assume you’re talking about). Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you know how to snap your fingers? Uh, yeah. Do you plan your outfits for the next day or just randomly choose? I choose on the spot, usually. Are you a bossy person? Definitely not. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I fucking hate that statement. It’s absolute bullshit.

[purfectmlpblog]

...alright fuq it lemme explain my thoughts about the finale spoilers lol

Don’t worry, I WILL be posting this under a read-more so PLEASE turn away and ignore this now (especially with some “spoiler” tags on if you use ‘em) if you don’t want to be spoiled for the finale until it officially airs. I just can’t contain my thoughts no more after ponderin’ them and who knows when it’ll officially air in English (’cause slow schedules can be a pain to deal with lol) sooooo... yeah you’ve been warned xp 

...Ooooh boi, well admittedly I kinda skimmed through what the whole plot was about behind the last three episodes (I was moreso focused on all the stuff happening for “The Last Problem” so lol), but I’ll try to keep it brief for the most part:

-So... that whole thing about Grogar being the last “big bad” was just a total lie... since apparently it was just Discord masking himself as the guy just to give Twilight one last battle to face? ...Ehhh, I get that he apparently had “good intentions” but this just seems to be pushing it too far even for Discord’s standards tbh... like these are his friends now (including Fluttershy, his best friend) so why would he allow this much risk to be thrown at them for the sake of just teaching them a valuable lesson about overcoming obstacles? ._. Then again, this IS Discord we’re talking about so him pulling some shady stuff like this is to be expected, I guess? Idk...

-As another twist to the trio of bad guys... NONE of them get redeemed at the end (not even Cozy Glow... who again, is nothing more than a whiny child compared to Chrysalis and Tirek :P), as they all pretty much get blasted with the same stone spell that Discord was under for what I can presume to be forever. I mean... had Sombra been placed in Cozy Glow’s position then I guess I’d be a bit more satisfied with this kind of ending for them instead of feeling questionable about it (’cause again, Cozy’s young age ^^;)... but at the same time, for what it is it’s at least a refreshing change of pace from just having them all instantly forgiven and befriended by all the main heroes. Now that would’ve been cringey... >_<

-We got a reaaally big group of cameos from many past ponies/other creatures from the show to aid in the final battle, including Sunset and a few of the MLP movie characters like Tempest, Capper and Skystar! o.o A shame that Captain Celaeno couldn’t have been added along with them but still, pretty cool to see that particular trio regardless along with my girl Sunset ❤️ about time the main show acknowledged her importance to Twilight -.-

-Moving onto the big finale itself, “The Last Problem”, we cut ahead to I presume to be a couple decades or so since the last episode... where Twilight and her friends are all grown up and leading their own lives as Twilight’s pupil (Luster Dawn, was it?) comes to prepare herself for her own first friendship lesson. Surprisingly, unlike past finales it’s not so much a really heavy or action-packed episode but more of a “relaxing breather” kinda filler... yet still pushes the feels the more we get to see the aged-up cast and realize how this truly is the end for our heroes :(

-We’re also given a nice flashback to Twilight’s coronation as Equestria’s new leader, though it didn’t go according to plan it still provided some heartwarming feels to teach that friendships will always remain solid even if some end up moving far away. Awww ;w;.

-As for the “Grown up” designs themselves... I’m kinda torn, tbh lol

On one hand, I do like Rainbow’s, Fluttershy’s, and AJ’s older looks just fine. AJ’s especially gives me the feels looking at it ‘cause of the shawl... really hits in that poor Granny Smith is no longer around by this time :( at least she’ll always keep her memory strong in her heart ❤️

As for Twilight, Rarity, Spike and Pinkie... ehhhh ^^;. Rarity’s sparkly shawl is rather pretty though that big grey steak in her hair kinda clashes too much with the regular purple imo, Pinkie’s beehive look could’ve been fine if they just took out all that random junk in her hair, and while part of me kinda likes the “ethereal princess-y” vibes of Twilight (despite the rather dark implications that she’s gonna outlive her friends now ;-;)... the fact that she still sounds like her old dorky self when speaking kinda kills the effect for me... plus idk if only a couple decades in the future would be enough to make her this tall as an alicorn, I mean even Luna (who’s older than her) is alot shorter so it’s just a little off-putting to me to see her so “Celestia”-sized ^^;. And as for Spike... yeah, I don’t even know what’s going on there, so... let’s just move on, please lol.

So then we get to look over how everyone else in Ponyville’s doing, with so many new species living there now, some old kiddos grew up like the CMC and the Cake twins, Starlight and her friends (plus the Student 6) continuing to run the friendship school together, and apparently some canon couples started to thrive during this time too including Lyra and Bon Bon, Big Mac and Sugar Belle, and... Pinkie and Cheese? o.o 

...Um, wow lol Wasn’t really expecting that considering that most of Cheese and Pinkie’s previous screentime together (which was only in like, two episodes?) wasn’t really that romantic from what I can recall, but guess the writers decided to just throw it in anyway ‘cause it’s a popular ship? lol I mean, not like it’s a bad one or anything but it still feels a bit randomly-placed in a narrative sense imo ^^;

Speaking of their daughter (Lil Cheese, I think?), while I do think she’s cute, part of me is kinda disappointed that they didn’t really get more creative with her design like they’ve done for Flurry Heart and the Cake twins :c. Color-wise she looks okay but... why just make her a recolor of her mom’s filly design? .-. Even putting her hair in some pigtails or something would’ve worked better imo.

-Some more design nitpicks I had were certain weirdly placed hairstyles like Pumpkin Cake’s and Diamond Tiara’s, as well as why Gummy the alligator just looks like he resized into a giant than legitimately grew into an adult lol. Also this might also be nitpicky but why exactly is everyone (minus Twilight) so old-looking with grayed hair and/or eye bags (ex. Rarity and Sugar Belle), when a couple of them have school-aged children at this point? .-. Hell, even most of the Mane 6′s parents didn’t look this old (including Twilight’s, and they’ve got a granddaughter lol), so I’m kinda confused by this type of design choice tbh.

-I don’t really remember if they explicitly stated what happened to the old princesses during this time since they didn’t show up again, nor what the final fates of Shining Armor and Cadence were (save for a brief shot of Flurry Heart having her own stain-glass window in the throne room). Idk, just would’ve been nice to have gotten more explicit about that ‘cause I don’t wanna think of these poor royals being gone now with just Twilight being the leader now ;-; 

-I guess there was also a couple “implied” ships thrown in too like Fluttershy and Discord (though that one might be more “loose” to interpret, depending on how much you like the ship) and apparently AJ and Rainbow Dash seem to be having something “deeper” going on considering they specifically walked in together when all the other Mane 6 walked in individually into the throne room. Hmmm...?

-And lastly after a bit more filler and than a montage song of the Mane 6 harmonizing together one last time, we get to close off the entire episode, season, and series with one final shot of the heroes standing on a sunset-y hillside together, saying goodbye to Twilight’s student who goes off on her own friendship adventures... and then the screen fades to a book closing as a call back to the very first episode of the series over 9 years ago... where the exact same book opened up to start off our beloved show to begin with T-T

....aaaand yeah my feels exploded over again, sorry T-T. Despite the lil nitpicks I had here and there (and how I wish certain plot holes could’ve been handled better in hindsight), this was still a really sweet and thoughtful way to end MLP: FiM with one last batch of fluff like this... the end of a good 9-year run of the show which’ll surely leave a special place in every fan’s hearts, including mine ❤️

Though again, like I mentioned before I still won’t be considering any of this actually “canon” in the main universe I’m setting up, which is all basically an AU at this point since I haven’t really been keeping up with the show as frequently to care much for sticking with the main canon :p. For my fellow content creators, please don’t be afraid to keep working on your own next gens and such btw, even if some of it might be contradicted in this particular finale I’d say anyone is free to make their own interpretations however they want, canon or no canon~ ;p

  Hope y’all understand that well and I hope you guys have a great rest of your day! 😃 

[infinite-insignia]

((I uh. made an edgy moodboard for myself. also a vent/rant under the cut.))

(( wasn’t exactly in a super angsty mood earlier but then I thought abt things and my brain went “man I really was a horrible person huh” so basically this is a representation of my edgy kin thoughts whenever they resurface. not even joking, some of the quotes are p accurate. especially the “killed my old self but the new me isn’t much better” one cause it reminds me of my death and honestly yeah. that was totally my doing. tryna be a better person in this life but I guess I can’t do that. I mean it didn’t work back then, why would it work now. tho if I give up on remembering my last life, I’d be giving up on what’s p much my purpose in this life. remember everything and use that knowledge to (try to) better myself before this human body gives out and this soul fades. cause I don’t think this soul’s gettin reincarnated again. not like I have another shot at remembering everything. but everyone tells me to stop focusing on the past. that it doesn’t define me now. but tbh? it kinda does at this point. the human life I’ve lived? yeah that was normal before I remembered what I was last time. and now it’s all I think abt--and to be told to stop thinking abt it? to be called delusional over it? to have people try and prove me wrong by telling me how I lived my life--or, worse, by saying it never even happened? it hurts me emotionally. like,,,deeply hurts me. I wanna talk to people abt things so I know someone’s listening. that someone cares enough to at least attempt to understand. even fake understanding would be enough cause I’d believe it was real. I’d have someone to talk to outside of tumblr, at least. sure, my psychologist knows a bit abt this stuff, but I only see her once every other week--and not this week. so I can’t talk to her. can’t talk to my mom cause she doesn’t understand and I know for a fact we’d end up arguing. she’s said it before--she wants her kid back. this messed-up delusional freak who brings past lives into their current one apparently isn’t her kid--but that’s who I am. that’s what I do. even among people like me, I feel alone. I can’t talk to anyone and it’s driving me nuts--but at the same time I’m terrified to talk to people because of the reactions they could have. I can talk abt it on here but to you guys it probably just seems like lame, delusional ranting. so I might as well shut up before I start to look like even more of a whiny bitch, huh. I say that despite knowing it’s hard to shut up once I start talking. ugh. man I went from 0 to 100 real quick in terms of bad moods. and it’s not even a bad mood? like I’m upset, yeah. but it doesn’t exactly feel like stress, it feels more like,,,emptiness. like I’ve dealt with this shit enough that I’ve figured there’s no point in stressing over what’s gonna happen every few days or so. my brain wants to mistake this emptiness for calmness--but I’m not calm. I’m not happy, I’m not content, I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I’m a freakshow brought into another life for god knows what reason. Phantom Ruby shouldn’t have had the power to reincarnate me but it somehow did. Ruby itself is here too somehow--it’s just super weak/faint. like,,,I can tell it’s there, but it can’t do much. I can’t even see it anymore or hear it out loud--it’s just like an inaudible voice, kinda like a thought that’s not actually coming from me. if that makes sense. probably doesn’t cause I’m just delusional apparently. oh well. can’t let my mom know I’m going through this cause we’d just argue. cant tell my sis cause she doesn’t wanna hear abt my kin bs. says its annoying cause I talk abt it too much. tho she also says it’s not an issue as long as I believe it and I’m not hurting anyone--and I’m not hurting people. not intentionally. I just wanna talk. have some sort of an outlet. but when most of my past life is full of war and murder and blood and stress and evil and destruction and everything else that is horrible, people are gonna judge me if I talk abt it. think I’m still some murderer today--which I’m not. definitely not. I regret the things I did. yet I’ve had someone tell me that ‘villains don’t feel regret’ and you wanna know what I did in response? pushed said person in a fit of anger. not a super strong push or anything, just enough to throw them off balance for a second. but like,,,you can’t tell me what I did or didn’t feel. sure I may not have regretted a whole bunch during the war, but afterwards? I was a walking ball of stress and regret trying to make a better name for myself but failing. waiting til the end of the planet, when I was the last living mobian, to do something abt it. and that something wasn’t pretty--it’s what caused me to move onto this current life. I get a lot of thoughts from various points in my last life, and those all cause a whole lot of emotions. yet, at the same time, I currently just feel like a void. an empty shell who feels the emotions but not the effects of them. the emotions exist but have no impact currently. tho that doesn’t make sense to you does it? wow. to think I was all happy yesterday over that follower milestone. ofc I have to go and ruin my own mood again since that’s all I’m good for apparently. might just go to bed early at this point. take the rest of the night off. nothing else to do. it’s either sleep or leave myself with my thoughts--the latter of which would only lead to more stress and/or empty feelings. anyway. I don’t want you guys worrying abt me. you can feel bad for me, try to make me feel better, but don’t worry. worrying abt me would be a waste of time. I’ll live. just going through another rough moment all of a sudden. but as long as I have a purpose in this current life, I plan to see it all the way through. meaning I won’t physically hurt myself or do anything stupid over this, so don’t worry. my physical health is just fine. mentally, not so sure. probably shouldn’t be saying not to worry cause now you’re gonna worry. whatever, I’ve been typing way too much. said more than I probably should have. probably look like an overreacting emo teen. but I’m just gonna go to bed and try not to let these thoughts get to me. tho my brain is most active right before falling asleep most nights so I doubt that’d work. gonna have to go to school tomorrow. no use in arguing, it makes everyone feel worse. it’s just gonna be a slow, crappy day. at least wednesday is a half day and then we get the rest of the week off for thanksgiving. not that we’re gonna be celebrating this year, we cancelled out plans cause my grandma’s sick and we usually go over to her place where she cooks thanksgiving dinner. but certain smells make her nauseous and the whole thing would be too much of a hassle, so we cancelled that this year. I’m kinda worried abt her. haven’t seen her in a little bit and she has another surgery in december. no idea what kind of surgery but she’s in her 70s and has been sick before so. idk. I do know I’m concerned for her and also myself. my own mental state is a wreck and idk what to do abt it. but for now I’m gonna go to bed. sorry for taking up so much of your time, assuming anyone actually read this whole thing.))

[divinecuriosity]

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode-- BOG!!!! Al

ALL? is that what this is supposed to say. bc im gonna do All 

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with? He’s an only child! Maybe a few cousins his age, he probably was close with them before he went away!

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? Good, his moms really supported him to the point where he couldn’t do anything wrong in their eyes. Mom #1 was raised in a temple of Ioun, and is a half orc half elf. She works in the temple she and Bog’s other mom founded and tried to teach him to become a cleric like her, but once he voiced his desire to pursure the arcane she was happy to support that

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father  mother #2 like? Mom #2 was less ready to support the arcane, having converted to worshiping Ioun after meeting mom #1 and never really having a knack for magic. Both Bog’s moms see him as the perfect blessing he was intended to be and dont see any faults in him, and though they are hurt by his leaving they trust in their god and in him that it will be ok (not that he’s had contact with them to know that...)

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? YEs! He first stumbled upon magic when he started to just be able to Do Things, but there was a wizard to came to his town when he was a child and showed the kids magic tricks, and Bog came up to him one day and basically said “i can do that too! my mom doesnt know this bc im scared to tell her but here let me show you” and this like, seven year old half orc kid does some medium level spell and the Wizard was just like. damn we gotta teach u. 

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? Uhh, not much tbh? maybe some jerkey, a rag for sweat/cleaning things off, whatever coin he has on him? But he always has his drum on a sling over his shoulder, his flute on a chain around his neck, and in a trunk on the lower deck he has his spellbooks and Violin!

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? haahhhh he gets periodic visions from Ioun being like,,,, hello my Blessing hows the Doing God’s Work going?? oh youre still on a pirate ship in the middle of the ocean? thats chill like ur moms i think you are Perfect and fully believe you will get back to it eventually, go find some new Knowledge and fill up that brain of yours thanks ok bye

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? He doesn’t really get them I think? hes a happy guy

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? Do guns exist anna???

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? UHH hes a pirate now so. probably less consistent access to money ? he wasn’t rich at all like, medium middle class at best, but now its probably a lot more sporadic access to like , a lot more money

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? Uhh he wears the same thing like all the time just loose shirt and flowy pants and drum. if he doesnt have his drum he might as well be naked. But he probably hates having to dress in fancy clothes/layers bc Tactile Bad 

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? Uh he’s pretty Freaked Out now tbh, but probably the first storm they had at sea, or the night before he left Bard School

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? Hmmm, thats tough idk? Every time he plays music for a group of people and they chime in/dance/just pay attention he feels  p calm and good

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? Not really, he doesn’t like seeing people hurt but he isnt grossed out by it

Does your character remember names or faces easier? Names, they get confused when people change their hair or outfit rip

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? They arent usually, but since being a pirate he kinda,,, goes along w it and has the mentality of “this is nice!” but its not rlly his end all

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? Happiness

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? Hmmm, probably drums

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Wisdom

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? They get crushes rlly easily and then get distant if the feelings arent returned bc they dont wanna talk about Hard Emotions bc they never...had too

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism? They don’t compare themselves to others past like, oh they have more x than me and i wish i had more of that? More jealousy than him actually putting value to differences

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? Uhh nothing rlly, tragic happened but his whole thing is he has a destiny he doesnt feel like he earned and is running from it but also feels Immense guilt for doing that so, lots of self blame in this buddy

What does your character like in other people? They like people with passion for something

What does your character dislike in other people? Uhhh being rude to others (like more than a joke, when its obviously upseting them)

How quick is your character to trust someone else? Fairly quick, he needs more friends

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? Uhh idk tbh?

How does your character behave around children? He’s great with them for short periods but once he’s run out of little songs to play/sing and funny jokes he. gets anxious and gets out of there.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation? If its an authority figure? ANXIOUS! if its someone he sees as an equal / he has power over, hes more level headed

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Uhh hes weak and slow so, p slow. even spell wise hes more about protecting his friends than damage

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? He’s pretty much always wanted to study magic and be a bard. maybe early early five yr old Bog dreamed of working at the temple

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? Uhh, standard icky stuff like x-phobias 

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. Playing for an Audience

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. Talking about feelings, especially ~romance~

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? A mix of willing to improve and self-deprecating, depending on whos doing the criticism

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? They move from solution to solution pretty fast, they arent super patient

How does your character behave around people they like? Trying to impress them and also not look dumb

How does your character behave around people they dislike? Glare glare glare

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Honor ig?

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? Remove the problem

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? Uhh probably not? hes good w animals

How does your character treat people in service jobs? As well as he can!! 

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? EARN EARN EARN

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? Hmm, not really? 

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? nah

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? They say it really quickly and usually mean it, they just get close to people fast

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? He’s pretty sure if he manages not to Fuck it Up he’ll go to Ioun’s realm or whatever, but hes not sure hes gonna,,, not fuck it up,,, or that he even wants that? death scares him so he just doesnt think about it if he can manage

[graysonhq-blog]

IT’S TOO COLD FOR YOU HERE  — AN INTRODUCTION.

MWAH hello yall cuties :”)) i’m lucy i’m 9teen i just spent the afternoon staring @ my blemishes n wondering if i should spend the $115 for the foreo luna mini ! but sdsdsj before i get distracted n start ranting abt myself, let me tell u about this trash bag aka grayson easton via this messy af intro xxxxxxx

- ̗̀ ❛ GREGG SULKIN, HE/HIM. ❜ ̖́- is that grayson easton getting out of their car blasting the new year by death cab? i heard they’re twenty five years old and they’ve been living in scarsdale for twelve years. i mean, i’m not surprised –– i hear their family’s networth is 800k. everyone’s always said they’re pretty industrious and disciplined, but rumor has it they can be deceitful and rigid, too.

so grayson easton was conceived when thomas easton aka international millionaire couldn’t contain his dick @ a medical conference 🍆💦 but even though it wasn’t necessarily how lauren hannigan imagined starting a family, she was still excited

she already understood that he wouldn’t be v involved (because smh his ass already had a family and was too high profile to risk exposing himself as a cheater), but it didn’t matter to her ! after all,  she just finished her residency program and was gong to *lil wayne vc* cash money make it rain ! lordt she was so HYPE she was close to spending a small fortune on little einstein storybooks 👀

but she never got the opportunity to read him those stories because a complication during her labour meant she passed away before she even had the opportunity to see her son—and because she wasn’t interested in involving his father (and honestmeme it wasn’t like he was knocking down doors to bring home his son), custody went to her parents, tessa and charles hannigan

they were fantastic guardians like clearly they were so distraught when their daughter passed away, but they decided to take all the love they couldn’t give her and direct it towards their grandson

he had a lemonade stand up every month, and his grandfather spent hours helping him make the posters and decorate the table before sitting out in the heat with him :”) it was called gray’s and grayson’s lemonade

they took turns helping charlie work through his dyslexia and brought him to the library regularly 💕 they were adamant about showing him that he wasn’t stupid just because he needed to work ten times harder than everyone to understand things, that he could do everything everyone else can do and more if he tried hard enough

also tessa taught him how to play the guitar and they spent v many fuzzy afternoons doing bad covers of sesame street songs shshsjs

but everything started going downhill when grayson turned ten—at that point, his grandparents were already p advanced in age, and that ultimately meant that their health was always v precarious :// before he could process what was happening, tessa was diagnosed w stage three breast cancer that showed no indication of slowing down—and all of a sudden, he was spending his nights doing homework in her hospital room and sleeping on the tiny chair near her bed because he refused to leave 

( tessa was always miserable in the hospital, but always brightened whenever he told her that he won a poetry competition or that his teacher put a sticker on his latest test because he got a hundred percent and he just wanted to make her happy ahhhh )

he was doing homework the evening she passed away in the surgery room—and after that, it was tbh emotional earthquake after emotional earthquake because the shock was too much for his grandfather, who died from a heart attack a few days after 

he’d barely processed what happened before his father ended up in the picture again—his father was concerned that the press would find the story, and he was smart enough to know that everyone discovering how he abandoned his bastard son would not be great press—and before he knew it, he was wrenched form his family home in maine, with only a few cardboard boxes in his arms, and dropped into this wildly privileged lifestyle in scarsdale, new york 

he soon became the center of immense gossip :/ because of his spontaneous appearance onto the otherwise exclusive setting of high class new york, people considered him a “leeching bastard son” who was only interested in getting his hands on some fortune

but he never felt that he could actually say something about his circumstances to his father smh at that point, he’d lost so many loved ones consecutively that he was desperate for someone that he could consider family, even if it meant steadfastly ignoring the genuinely shitty things about his father

he started attending first class institutions that cost as much as his old house’s mortgage per term, his dad gave him an allowance that made his weekly paper run money look like dust bunnies, he was introduced to businessmen and politicians and lawyers whose names he’d only heard on the evening news 

though he was already v hardworking and disciplined because he wanted to honour his grandparents and mom’s memory, his efforts to counteract the rumors that were being spread about him and his attempts to impress his detached father meant that his desperation to impress everyone became even more exacerbated 

by the time he graduated high school, he was the Golden Boy™ who sat at the popular table, got glowing comments from his teachers whenever he handed in assignments, and was celebrated as the star quarterback—but so much of his reputation was actually just constructed as a means to impress his father and as a way to please other people yikes he doesn’t even like playing football wtf

the fact that he was exposed to such a toxic environment that demanded everything from him to be considered valid and the fact that he’s so desperate for the feeling of compassion that he used to get from his family drove him to try finding validation and love in the wrong places, using the wrong ways

smh you would hope that spending time away from new york would’ve helped him become a little less reliant on other people’s opinion and more willing to be flexible but :) since finishing university and passing the bar exam, his family’s net worth dropped 200k and his father is placing even more pressure on him to help their firm get back on solid ground 

he’s doing everything he can and spending all his nights staying up late at his office, so much so that he sleeps there more than he sleeps in his still barely furnished apartment—but yikes he actually secretly hates corporate law and sometimes fantasizes about working for an non-governmental organization smh 

despite everything his father tried to make him as cold-hearted as him, his years with his grandparents meant that grayson is genuinely still such a compassionate and kind person underneath everything—he nags all his friends into eating vegetables and enjoys sneaking baby carrots into their homes and will always put everything on hold for the people that he loves and didn’t punch someone when they drunkenly vomited on his carpeted floor :”) 

but yikes he’s also repressed all the grief and trauma and bitterness that he’s experienced in his life, incorrectly thinking that his validation comes from authority figures and stubbornly ignoring anyone who suggests otherwise because “they’re just messing with me so they could be better than me” (also sidenote sometimes that bitterness manifests in some v questionable drinking n dating habits smh i hate him)

ANYMEME that’s grayson easton he’s a lil fake bitch who needs some help sdshdsjd the only person he talks 2 abt things is his corgi plz help 

oK that should b it omg if u managed 2 finish this fckn ... verbal diarrhea of an intro plz know that i love u 5ever mwah ! if ur lookin for some childhood friends n old exes n fwbs n ride or die’s n will they won’t they and tBH w/e plz hmu my ass has graduated from thirsty 2 plots to dehydrated for them oOF