#tbh im not ur parent so if u interact then that's on you but still!

[ceoandslutler]

welcome to my blog - started 13/04/23

was recently on hiatus, semi active

hello, i'm sayé (pronounced SAA-YEAH) or just sy (pronounced SIGH), this blog is a space where i muse all about sebastian and o!ciel from kuroshitsuji/black butler and share all my other silly lil thoughts about the kuro world, i usually do not interact with people first unless they seem nice (courtesy of online social anxiety and fear of 🐜s) so i will probs rarely/possibly never reblog random stuff unless i have something substantial to add (srry i can't tag that well and don't want to dilute my stuff and also i have autism brain lol so if my blog's not neat, i will literally DIE). also feel free to send me an ask/message, i will probably respond (90% of the time, teehee) but tbh it's like poking a dead person with a stick and seeing if they're alive.

this is just a place for me to share my musings about my fav evil boys and share writing if i ever get around to doing it, also this blog is not for minors, stay out, minors/-18!!!

also i am evidently a proshipper, antis shoo!!

i write, do edits (occasionally), cannot draw for the life of me and love love love sebaciel with a passion with an incline to sub bottom sebs (he's just so babygirl to me, i'm sorry).

RESOURCES FOR FIC WRITERS: • what fics sebaciel nation like to see | more coming soon

MY FICS: Stained Wedding Sheets | more coming soon

tags listed below

as promised, tags to navigate through the swamp this blog will become:

#symuses - for all my random little thoughts, fic/au ideas, hcs etc

#syanalyses - for when i read the manga for the trillionth time

#sywrites - for when/if i post fanfics

#sybitches - for when i complain

#syshitposts - for shitposts (obviously)

#syedits - if i do any manga editing (rare)

#sydraws - won't happen but just in case (extra rare!!)

alternative links:

#symuses

#syanalyses

#sywrites

#sybitches

#syshitposts

#syedits

#sydraws

[hellofears]

wasn't me no one in this home of mine voted for anything of the sort and most likely anyone I know didn't either. I forget how many ppl live in the uk sometimes peace and love to the william wanters well and truly

[pomefioredove]

🙂‍↕️not really coherent reply sorry

vil is one of the only characters in game that treats yuu with respect, and as an equal.

EXACTLYLY. honestly it never ever sits right with me whenever yuu BREAKS THEIR BACK trying to help others (especially because barely anyone is doing barely anything to help them. LET THIS BITCH GO HOME!!!!) for them to just? barely acknowledge it? casually brush it off? the scene in book 3 where the tweels r like wanna help out? you can switch with these guys and ace is like YES double all of my current suffering and pass it onto them /ref all of the students complaining about losing their signature spells when yuu has NO magic at all to protect themselves with.. let’s be serious please. maybe im being a little dramatic! but thats literally my favorite character you are talking about get their name out of your mouth.

vil is literally the only other character who plays a similar role in the story.

... cause chars like trey and lilia are almost there, but distinctly different in their roles, while vil is THE mother.

THIS!! !! !!! !!!!! lillia is more of the father trope and trey is more of a big brother i’d say. they aren’t nurturing in the same way vil is. maybe it’s the ‘nagging’ slash instructing aspect of how vil interacts with people. i don’t even know how to put it into words but ur right vil is so mom. like. i dont know.. it’s probably his relationship with epel (and even the other first years?) that makes me associate him with being motherly but he’s just so. nurturing. so many moms in the media that i’ve (recently) consumed were teaching their daughters to be quiet and respectful as to not get punished/essentially outcasted socially. of course that’s not really what vil is doing with epel but. ugh. read my mind!!! ull understand then trust. the ONLY other character that sorta makes me feel the same way is jamil. illove him so dearly but i know. little to nothing major about his character aside from his relationship with kalim. yuu and grim. vil and epel. jamil and kalim. they should start a we dont get paid (enough) for this bullshit club

honestly i dont even want to project myself onto yuu i wanna be a helpful roomate or somthinf. wtf 😭 my hungry aggressive ass could NOT be yuu /ref..

rhats all i can put into words rigth now . evene though i got sidetracked a lot.. !! bht th part abojt yuu being motherly ! ialso wanted to reply to. wowww thats a lot of typos sorry my eyesight is a tad blurry 😭

AHHGGGGG ANON

"double all of my current suffering and pass it onto them" LMAOOOO 😭😭😭

I am such a yuu defender idc. LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!! it's why rollo is still such a fave of mine, he's like one of the only sane people. looks at yuu and is like jesus christ are you fucking okay.

and yes literally vil is just. I think the big difference is that he actually kinda likes being in charge? more so than yuu. he's a natural leader while they were literally manipulated and blackmailed into their position (I WILL SAY THAT I do think vil feels pressured to be a leader because of how he was outcasted/made out to seem mean and scary by his peers so he just kinda Filled That Role... but also I definitely do not see him as someone who'd enjoy following rather than leading. his own character VERY MUCH parallels yuu's in so many ways)

jamil is definitely different tho. he was also forced into his position as a caretaker but he doesn't have a parental vibe to him. tbh I couldn't tell u what it is but he's got his own thing going on (and he DOES parallel yuu in a way, I wish he was closer to them because there's potential but he's really Not)

BUT YEAH I get you. I feel like this is a weird thing to say but yuu feels like their own character to me 😭 like I have my own yuusona but yuu themselves is a little guy to me

[sungbeam]

describe your favorite mutuals & their bias/biases <3

omg i always feel so much pressure for these cuz i have quite a handful of moots but i shall try my best !! thanks for ur ask anonie o7

@justalildumpling & na jaemin — both just uber delulu and mutual orgasm donors 😭😭 their astrology/horoscope reading says they'd be good for marriage, but i think WE r a much better match 😚 anyways, i love u j my beloved wife and soulmate !!

@jaehunnyy & jung wooyoung — bro i didn't know which teezer to pick for u 😭😭 but since the craze lately has been mr wooyo 😗 chip is just the sweetest and most wholesome bean ever?? (except lately 🤡 woosan is getting to her) but she deserves the absolute world

@winterchimez & lee sangyeon — my parents !!! absolutely adore ally :')) she's always encouraging my shenanigans and one of the most supportive people on this app. i feel like every day i learn that we have another thing in common w each other LOL

@ethereal-engene & lee jihoon — NO CUZ EKFNEKDK when i tell u ash looks like woozi (゜-゜) im not even kidding, they both look SO good in specs and i love ash sm, she GETS ME and im so convinced we're like actually long lost relatives 😭😭 the way she puts up w my shit and supports me all the time :')

@loveliestfelix & choi yeonjun — omg no because nana is supermodel material?? supermodel gf and bf say HUH???? her writing is something to fall head over heels in love w !! my beloved angst queen 🫂 ilysm im always thinking of u <3

@tranquilpetrichor & (i wanna say) yoon keeho??? — eris i just realized i don't really stan some of the groups u do and i haven't seen u talk abt ur biases recently 😔 SO PLS DO TELL ME ABT THEM !! but i wanted to include u here bc it didn't feel right without u 😭 but she's so underrated and one of the chillest people ever, and a literal ballerina like 😳 that shits hard bro

@zzoguri & ji changmin/kim sunwoo — MY FELLOW KYUBODAN MONI AHHWHDINEJDJD they are AMAZING at writing??? i guarantee u will fall in love w their style, and they're also just so easy to vibe w and talk to 🤧🤧 hope to get to know u even better bestie :'))

@haet-sal & ju haknyeon — CAKECEYYYYY 😩😩😩 ik the ship name is hakcey/hickey LMAO but cake 😎 anyways LMAO lacey is prob who i aspire to be?? 😭 like u guys don't understand how pretty this girl is and the fact that she's SO COOL TOO?? i feel like i'd be so intimidated by u irl tbh 😳

@goldenhypen & jake sim — my canadian counterpart and chinese 04 twin 💖💖💖 i miss u sm omg i will always uphold that em is one of, if not, THEE nicest person on this app. like if u touch her I HURT YOU 😐🔪 she is sooo so compassionate and caring and just wah i love u sm i hope ur doing alright :'))

@sseastar & byun euijoo (i think? im sorry i don't stan &team 😔) — yet another author here who's style of writing absolutely blows me away skdnkendk like the slice of life ghibli movie vibe of her writing makes me SING and she's also a very cool woman in stem™ </3 she's also so soft and sweet, and i only have the most tender of thoughts toward her

@hqrana & omg im so bad i know eric sohn for sure 😭 — we actually haven't talked about many other groups besides tbz and svt skdnekdk OKAY BUT MY MARVEL MOOT !!! i treasure noa so much, like what a star and the way we literally have so many fandoms in common??? for the longest time (and still) i look forward to interacting w her just cuz she is absolutely SO fun to talk to 💖 ly bff

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

[ellecdc]

i stayed all night up reading CBBH and it was amazing, i do not regret a thing (i just slept like 4 hours).

GIRL THE WAY U WROTE SIRIUS 😭😭😭 that man has my heart and soul, and i loved the interactions between the characters, the drama and sorrow and the action scenes. even sirius and reader being parents was good (thing im not very fond in ff).

ANYWAYS, everything is so amazing, what happens inside ur head???? i want that. you just made a masterpiece.

love u and ur brain 💞

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

stop right now <333 I'm sorry to have disrupted your sleep but I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and still got at least a few hours of rest!!

it's such a compliment when people feel like I've done these characters justice 😭 I know we all have a version of these boys who live rent free inside our head, and we all love them so much so I'm glad to have done right by him 💖

my head is full of nonsense tbh but you're welcome inside of it anytime!!!! *smacks a big ol' kiss right on your mouth*

love YOU, thanks for being here 🫶

[wonusite]

feeling really :/ today. there’s a kmg centric account on here that uses very intense themes of ddlg in their work and i just.. i’ve sent them a few asks to explain why it’s harmful and they ignore them all. i don’t know what to do…. i think the arguments i made were valid. i understand it’s all in preference. a daddy kink here and a ‘my cute little princess’ there is all fine. but having phrases like ‘kid’ and ‘dad’ and ‘im ur real dad’ is just so.. especially using svt’s name to do that? even saying MDNI will not ensure minors don’t make priv accounts or lie about their ages or ghost read. and romanticizing tropes that are harmful could lead to young readers never realizing the dangers around them if they are in situations where someone is taking advantage of them.

this obviously isn’t about u nalani!! i just thought to come to u bc u seem to have good judgment. maybe i’m being dramatic and it really is just a kink in not sure. it just scares me that something with pedophilic undertones and definitely incestual undertones is being promoted on caratblr using the names of svt members.

u don’t have to publicly reply to this if u don’t want to!! i’m just a little let down by the caratblr community for not caring enough to not only not promote harmful tropes but also not having more care for svt members

i can only reply publicly since it’s an anonymous ask lol. anyway, i’ll answer below the cut.

first of all your feelings are valid, and i hope you know that. idk what blog you’re referring to so i can’t say whether or not the content is outright pedophilic or incestual. (but yeah those phrases are a little… 😬)

tbh ddlg isn’t for everyone since (from what i understand) it’s more of an intense type of role play/lifestyle that involves age regression and being entirely submissive to the dom. that type of content isn’t for a lot of people, and that’s okay.

regarding to the asks you sent being ignored, every content creator has the right not to respond to asks no matter it’s contents whether polite or rude. in a way i understand where this person’s coming from. when i wrote spoiled, i got some not so nice asks because of the content of the fic which i ignored. some of the asks weren’t rude but still not something i wanted on my blog. even now a lot of people won’t read my content because of that series, and that’s fine.

of course saying/writing minors do not interact on any smut post is not a guarantee that they won’t read it. BUT as content creators, we can only do so much. we’re not parents to the people who read our stuff, and it’s not our responsibility to teach people wrong from right. i’m not for romanticizing harmful content, and i can’t say whether or not that’s what this person is doing. even so, we can’t expect content creators to be responsible for a reader’s perception of reality or making them aware of the dangers of this world. it’s just not realistic or fair.

and i don’t think you’re overreacting. as i said before, your feelings and thoughts are valid. as a carat, i understand that you feel upset about svt being used for this type of content.

finally, i don’t think it’s fair to say that about caratblr as a whole. we can’t police or kink shame someone just for using a group they love as a creative outlet. there’s nothing wrong with writing about certain kinks or even darker content as long as it’s about adults. fanfiction is just that: fiction. it’s part of what we (cc) do because we love our idols and we love writing. caratblr is meant to be a fun and safe space for all carats, and having everyone go after someone would just destroy that purpose.

and this is not meant to shame or scold you because im glad you felt like you could come to me with this. your feelings are valid.

[bingwriterxo]

My dear bing!! I have taken the liberty of writing this long analysis to you in hope you find it entertaining. I advise you to buckle up because it will be long. First of reader and Tara driving in the car and Tara’s nervous rambling upon just seeing endless road made it a great introductory! It was so intimate and domestic! I was hoping you would have some sort of party where Tara is introduced to readers life I should say. Who she grew up with, the environment and such. The way you described readers house was such a perfect painting in words! I don’t believe it could have been better. I love how upon reader and Tara’s entrance everyone just turned 😂 of course our dear girl tara would think it was a cult. I will say it again..never change tara. I will say after reading so many anons from you and 🇬🇧 I was eager and very ecstatic to meet readers young brothers! As always you do not disappoint! The interaction between Eddie and Nate and Tara made my day! You wrote them exactly how I pictured them! With major differences! Nate has my heart, he is my favorite (don’t mention that to Edmund I don’t want him to think badly of me) reader being her usual self and telling Tara if she needed some breathing room to go to her room and then she preceded to give her directions 😂love our girl! I will say the gif had taken me by surprise and I was a bit worried but as always you come through bing. Tara meeting readers mother was wonderful! Already calling her mother😂 I just adore that! And baby Cordelia! Definitely took me by a wild surprise but it was greatly welcomed!  And Tara getting baby fever was the cherry on the cake for me. Readers father is such a vivacious and charming man! I’m a book girl myself so I very much love readers family. ‘Call me dad’ readers dad precede to light up! Now as for connor, or as I call him the scum on the bottom of my shoes. I have nothing nice to say about him, and I take the saying if you have nothing to say that’s polite do not say it. So I shall hold my tongue.  What broke me the most was Tara having to use her inhaler. My poor love must have been crying very much for it to trigger her asthma. Readers mother comforting her was such a great idea! And I had a hunch reader was engaged! From the minute you forshadowed it with Connor saying he was no stranger to readers family parties! Reader being the absolute gem to Tara and explaining everything…why can’t everyone be like that!! I will say I hope Connor gets a taste of his own medicine someday! He made me filled with rage! As someone who is not as tall it’s not very much rage but it is still rage nonetheless!! Hope you enjoyed this rant of mine! Your writing was too good I had to write this!I cannot wait for this AU to continue to grow! It has quickly taken over my heart. There is something so uniquely special about reader and Tara. There is no other AU quite like this. As ever bing wishing you a good weekend 🫶🫡- houseofwindsor77

YASSS ANALYSIS

i worked wrote and rewrote the intro 5 times before publishing what i did. it was tricky for me. i didn’t wanna seem too info-dumpy but i also didnt wanna throw them right in. i also had trouble with the imagery b/c, tbh, it is NOT my strong suit

im glad u liked the boys!! there will be much more of them! i just wanted tara to meet them quickly, and, yes! baby cordelia! i kept her a secret till now. i just thought she’d be a fun addition

both of R’s parents were extremely fun to write! there will be more of them as well! i thought having R’s mom comfort tara first before R has the chance to would open up the room for a great relationship between them!

connor is such a little poo head and i hate him! im not sure if he’ll be back. maybe he’ll pop in every once in a while to spice things up? but we’ll see

i love ur analyses always 🫶 i look forward to them after ever chapter!

[lautakwah]

Hi!! As a viet lesbian, I just wanted to let you know that I really look up to you!! Recently I've been having some issues reconciling what it means to be viet (and also Confucian and Buddhist tbh) and being a lesbian, and there honestly aren't a lot out there about it that I could find, especially not in English (and unfortunately my viet is too shit to really understand much of anything written in Vietnamese, let alone find it) and I was kind of wondering if you've had much experience with that!! You don't have to answer this if it's too personal or anything, it's just that it's been on my mind and I really don't know where else to talk about it so!! But, either way, I hope your day's been going well!!

hii!! been sitting on this one for a bit bc dfjkgf it's an honor but also i wasnt sure how to answer it yk,,, like im just a little guy (gender neutral) :3

but uh yeah idk i've always been a it laissez-faire about these different facets of myself since im closeted (glass closet or no, if we don't talk about it it's not a thing, you know how it is with immigrant families 🙄) to my family, who are the main viets i interact with on a regular basis ^^;;

i do know some other lgbt viets (mostly other lesbians hehe <3) and it's always heartening to find a kindred spirit, like we have so much in common and it's crazy talking abt this stuff and going "oh my god you too?? what about--", yk? and i joke abt the north/central/south stuff (north supremacy btw. what do u mean ur frm the south n xtian something is wrong with u </3) but it's genuinely nice just to find someone else who Understands

like i'd definitely recommend that if you have the chance, to put yourself out there bc the connections u can make are sooo valuable imo... like a lot of my lgbt friends of color ive met thru poc-only lgbt discords and such, and it does open a lot of doors in terms of like self-acceptance and community and finding out your experiences are shared and stuff!

that said, i don't think i've struggled specifically because im viet and trans and a lesbian, if that makes sense? like im comfortable in my identity as a viet diasporic person, and im comfortable as a nonbinary butch lesbian, and i dont see how any of those thing clash internally (externally, well. we all struggle with racism and homophobia etc and the specific ways that white society thinks it's an either-or situation and how traditional viet society can be vis-à-vis lgbt ppl and our rights etc etc etc). i think it's also like, ive accepted that i'll never be the kid my parents wished i could be, and that that's okay. it's very freeing and also scary as hell and im sure i'll need to unpack a ton of stuff still but we'll get there someday and in the meantime there are andy lau films to watch and friends to torment with cursed jpegs <3

like, the best advice i can give is that you shouldn't worry about it too much because overthinking ur identity is just going to lead to more crises, and the world is too wondrous and vast and beautiful to let it pass you by

[revasserium]

baby blue green lime amber!! also, i wld love to talk with u!! i’ve been around since ur earlier haikyuu days. you were a big inspiration to my writing. question to get the ball rolling (not sure if u answered this + no pressure to answer), how was ur time when u we’re away from this blog??

— @themlky (tagging my sideblog so i can get notifications when u reply!!)

let's play the color game! @themlky

baby blue: love seeing u on my tl

sldkfjsod <3 thank u darling!

green: why are you so cool and funny it's not fair

!!! i am not that cool or funny tbh u__u im just another fangirl on a smol corner of the internet slowly getting sucked into more and more fandoms LOL

lime: we have barely spoken by hi

HI!!!! we can speak more from now onwards! :D

amber: love to interact more :)

yay!!! pls lets!!!! u__u

and for your question:

my time away was really good!!! u__u i like rly got my life together lmfao; i started this blog during like the heart of pandemic bc i was feeling rly disconnected and i had to move back home (across the country) for the first time in like.... 10 yrs basically, and even tho i have a super duper good relationship w my parents and they're my best friends!!! it was still like... hard???

but yeah! since then i mean the world has changed so much!!! and i was able to move back to nyc (the city of my heart tbh), get a job in my literal dream company, get a bf, move in together -- like it's been a productive few years!!!! <3

and how've you been my love? how were the past few years for you? :D i hope that pandemic has been kind, even though i know it's not an inherently kind thing in and of itself. i hope that it's managed to bring you some bit of happiness, expected or unexpected u__u

[themkultra]

do NOT take this the freak way 

but like how did we get so entrenched in the culture of “if you’re an adult interacting with minors you must be tiptoeing on eggshells 100% of the time otherwise ur grooming them” where we get these huge callout posts/warning docs abt like . literally a “ur mom” joke or smth of that cadence, like im specifically curious about what makes 17 a minor but like the SECOND you turn 18 its like “YOU MUST TAG EVERY POST U MAKE THAT HAS THE SLIGHTEST PENIS MENTION WITH MINORS DNI, DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO MINORS AFTER 8PM, AND DONT YOU EVER DARE TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM EVER BC UR GONNA GROOM THEM!!!” like bro its 12:06am on ur birthday, 7 minutes ago it wouldve been fair game??? like what??? i dont get it genoiuenly also i think 18 should still be considered “minor” but also i think we need to reevaluate what minor/adult even MEANS in ONLINE spaces specifically online. like ive been told i cant talk about a funny hookup story with someone whos like 5 months younger than me bc i had just turned 18 . where is the logic in that. like ur brain dont stop developing until like 25 or smth. ON THE OTHER HAND i totally understand the reasoning thats like, oh ur at different maturity levels and diff stages in life, thats why you should be cautious when talking with someone younger than you and yeah thats totally fair! but i also think its making a lot of adults think that they can no longer have the same friendship relationship they had before with their friends who happen to be minors, which is kinda sad bc like come on penis and sex jokes are fucking funny we’re not puritans here and anyone whjo thinks teenagers dont think abt sex is living under a rock AND AGAIN IM NOT A FUCKING FREAK IM NOT ACTIVELY THINKING ABT TEENS HAVING SEX im just saying, why are we treating all minors like sterilized fabergé eggs who must be handled with like 6 layers of starchy white gloves as to not upset their delicate balance . i think its healthy for teens to have adult friends who treat them like adults IN THE RIGHT WAYS bC a lot of times all the adults in their lives treat them like babies when they want to be recognized as the individuals they are. i think im a much better well rounded person bc i had adult friends (technically parent’s friends that talked to me when they were over) when i was younger that taught me shit abt like, yknow, being an adult and growing up while still having healthy boundaries. like i think tumblr is soooo far removed from real life im realizing this more and more if real life was how tumblr is it would be insane tbh. imagine a highschooler goes up to you and asks for directions on the street and u have to be like “IM 18 IM AN ADULT DONT INTERACT WITH ME I MIGHT GROOM YOU” like ?????? jesus? anyway go ahead flay me alive if you like but again i leave you with this:

i am a normal person if whatever you think i may be implying is nasty then obvsiously im not implying it and youre reading this wrong on purpose

also since when could you get crucified for talking about anything relating to different age relationships without being accused of being a freak. go outside

[levi-thein]

okay this celebration is real now

HAPPY 253 FOLLOWERS MYSELF AND I DAMN ITS GREAT TO BE KING--

that one kid at the back who's plotting the whole class' murder -- I'll make you a moodboard on whatever the hell you want!

me myself and my friend who wants me to date someone already -- imma make u a lil doodle in origami paper

WE ARE THE MIDDLE CHILDREN OF THIS GENERATION -- cym, kmk all that

Unicorns has lasers in their horns and they will kill you with style-- confess your love to me when you still got the chance, im dying

*muffled screaming*-- CRY YOUR HEART OUT I WANNA BRAID YOUR HAIR

babe "tearsin my eyesc" by rose just dropped -- i'll tell you what i associate with you

wake me up when the world starts to end -- i'm gonna brutally honest and tell you what i think of you

@acciorxses @dead-james-potter the first people who followed me, my first marriages and i'm still in tears because of it

@nicexe303 a dear filipino i can relate to

@viva-la-resistancce my fucking wife and i will proudly yell it to everyone, especially if they're homophobic

@tfischaitea may, tis i, the one who spams you disney shit and i love you for being kind to me

@nymphadorathebubba my drinking buddy, i will love you always

@hxuse-xf-black i treat you as a mentee of mine and i am your tony stark and congrats on ur relationship!

@hemlock-the-viper i hate and love your scottish shit

@jegulus-trash i still cant believe you followed me i-

@jamespotterinskirts im still in shock you followed me

@wholesome-dragon-lady before i followed you, i see you in every post and i love our first interaction

@darkacademia-lover thank you for understanding and putting up with me

@feareth-who i hope we can interact more!

@astrqnova you're a cool person tbh

@fierreth-who I LOVE YOU ISTG platonic crush go-

@imgayandilovedaggers i still confuse you with @rwbel-r3bel

@cool-way-to-die a cool way to die is to die with glory

@technicallymelancholical my child.

@padfoot-supremacy i love it when you spam my notifs lmao

@themostingloriousisvictorious SIX THE MUSICAL YES

@shes-my-prince @im-his-prince i love ur urls its so cute<3

@try-cry-why-try im confused with your url but i love your love for camilo

@albusseveruspottery i wanna talk with you more tbh

@doctor-cerium SPAM MY SHIT MWAHAHAHA

@yonkitybonkity i love your love for conan gray, you got me into him lmaoo

@copyofonlyangel28 i only know its you because of the 28, its like your signature or something. its cute:D

@jackinthebeanstalk-sendhelp casper or jack now heyyy

@ghost-spidey you've been a parent more than my dad tbh

@creative-girl i love our random talks!

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[yomiurinikei]

hmm hibiki for the ask meme?

!!!!! the girl!!!!! we love to see her <333

under the cut for length + (sympathetic) mentions of k4n4d3 + analysis/discussion of the twins childhood and resulting trauma

favorite thing about them - i rlly do like her personality!! she’s a fun girl and i think if she existed irl i would wanna be her friend/she’d be good for that. like she’s legitimately just doing her best and being a person,, hibiki v often feels like,, palatably realistic. ur friend whos traumatized bc everyones traumatized, but she’s coping with it in a way that’s normal and not. yk. setting an orphanage on fire or smthn weird like that

least favorite thing about them - i feel like her dynamic with kanade and their childhood was written as smthn really bad, but then linuj handled it so miserably. this goes more into things with kanade, but by insisting kanade was just inherently like that, it really took autonomy from both twins and diminished the blatant abuse they had gone through, so prolly that bit of her writing? then for her in and of herself. it just,,, really does not make sense for her to act the way she does to kanade, and looking at her interactions with others, it almost feels ooc the way she treats kanade. she's generally a sweet girl, she's just more childlike, which makes sense with her backstory!!! but then out of nowhere she's saying such horrible things,, its odd to me

favorite line - any line with hibiki giving someone a nickname/the resulting exchange tbh

brOTP - setsubiki!!! their interactions r fun and my fucking keyboard broke this is the last question i have to do (bc i answered them out of order) and im so so so tired of this so im sorry if my answers r short but. ya every scene they have together is nice- hibiki trusts setsuka and u can tell setsukas attempts to console and be there for hibiki are coming from a place of legitimate affection and care

OTP - mmm?? im not rlly prone to romantic hibiki ships. as we all prolly know by now, i hc hibiki as having DID, and view the alter we generally/frequently see as being a child, and either way, she's canonically not v grown mentally, so! yk yk

nOTP - for some reason. any ships with hibiki x guys make me feel so uncomfortable. idk what it is, but i havent seen one that doesn't set off alarm bells,, so! personally not my taste

random headcanon - uhhh other than the did thing? lemme think- her scalp is really sensitive and having it up in pigtails all day always leaves her head aching when she finally takes them out, but she doesn't like the way her hair looks any way else, so its. the constant irritation of that, or realizing "oh wow, my head hurts" when she takes her hair down.

unpopular opinion - she can... be the object of her parents affection..... and have been damaged by that differently than kande was,,,, and she can still be a victim...... she can have heard her parents mistreating kanade and internalized that, and have hurt kanades feelings by saying things that stuck with her.......... that doesn't change that shes a victim,, and she's not abusive for doing that,,, its just a thing that happened,,,,, acknowledging its impact on kanade is not a disservice on her character, so long as you acknowledge who taught hibiki that.

song i associate with them - la primavera - fake type or! sick beat - kero kero bonito or! better by myself - hey violet. ofc tho this is after .3 seconds of looking @ spotify so like. yk

favorite picture of them - i rlly like a lot of her sprites, bar the ones where her pupils r all small + the top half of her face has that black overlay, or the one where she's angry yelling, like w/the action lines? she looks like a chihuahua there but anyways, i especially like these two sprites <3 (ik formattings wack im on my laptop. may b ill fix it later. may b.

[keytomythoughts]

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index 

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu) 

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

                                                                                                                      Funny

                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

:/

What about Jaehyun?

                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

                                                                                                                        Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere

                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(

                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo 

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 

                                                                                             See? My point exactly

                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?

                                                                                                                         YAH

                                                                                                               U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??

                                                                                              Those poor girls omg

                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

                                                                                                        Can it u demon

                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?” 

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.” 

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 

What can I say? It’s a talent. 

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 

“Good to be back,” I whisper. 

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  

[kleefairy]

My best friend (jay) is a quarter japanese and their sibling (who is like 27 so this is embarrassing) is like a bad sjw parody and one time jay mentioned one of our mutual friends (who is white and named kai) to their sibling and the sibling was like oh his parents are racist bc Kai is an asian name. Sorry bestie sometimes names come up in multiple cultures there's only so many sounds one can make. This sibling also told Jay that they couldn't identify as asian but the sibling could bc sibling looked more asian than jay (they are blood related siblings they are both equally asian) sorry to dump in your inbox but that thing about wow emi way to steal a name reminded me

LMAO I.... U CANT IDENTIFY AS ASIAN COS U DONT LOOK AS ASIAN AS ME EVEN THO UR LITERALLY ASIAN IM DEAD thats so funny girl i look white af cos #cuturalgenocide but i'm still mixed smfh what do they think albino black people are white or something damn also as for kai, that name specifically is found in cultures literally all over the world. it's hawaiian, native american, european, greek, welsh, scandinavian, chinese, korean, turkish, and yes, japanese. i found this out in the first damn thing that showed up in google search thats just sad pls seek help. tbh if you notice it's always white people or mixed people who've never even been to the country or interacted with culturally japanese people who act like this too, like the whole 'white people cant wear kimono' thing. it was purely asian americans, japanese people in japan literally have tourist attractions where you can rent kimonos and participate in tea ceremonies to experience part of their traditional culture. it's honestly insulting imo, people need to quit talking over minorities. u see it all the time even outside of race, men talk over women, cis people talk over trans ppl, able-bodied ppl talk over disabled ppl etc. like just shut up damn they can speak for themselves smfh