#tbh i love these bozos ok

[oneshotgremlin]

Up and Down

Thoughts on how beings generally perceive their world one spatial dimension lower than the dimensionality of the space they inhabit:

In the flatlands, the way people perceive the world around them is through lines, and so visual receptors HAVE to be on the edges of their shapes

Otherwise by all accounts the person would be effectively blind

So Mrs.Red and Mr.Blue have this strange yellow boy

Who appears to be born with no eyes

(It’s directly in his center, but without tests and doctors nobody can see it)

And for all intents and purposes, the boy is blind

He has to feel his way around buildings and people (in his hand a black cane that his parents bought to aid him)

And he doesn’t know what his parents look like, and only knows them by their voice as they guide him

They love him all the same, regardless

(Meanwhile, he stares up at the infinite expanse of the night sky. But the thing about infinity is that it makes where you stand so infinitesimally tiny in comparison, and no matter how far you run side to side the stars do not move an inch for you. And if they’re all someone sees, the only logical conclusion that can be drawn is that where they are is unspeakably, claustrophobically small)

(It doesn’t matter if the kids at school bully him and the adults look at him with pity and disdain that he can’t even see, because don’t they know how SMALL they are? Don’t they know how small EVERYTHING is?)

And so, with years and years and nowhere else to go, Bill reaches UP

(And no-one else has tried before, because why would they? There is no up or down to conceive, only forwards and backwards and left and right.)

It takes unimaginable amounts of energy to punch a rift into a dimension. In a time and space unmeasurably far away, a six fingered man and his five fingered twin would learn that lesson well

In the flatlands, it’s less of an interdimensional portal looming ominously in a metal room and more of a calculation

l is for length. w is for width. h is for height

And like a computer told to divide by zero, everything falls apart

Did you know that when energetic particles that erupt from the stars collide with a sufficiently nitrogen rich atmosphere, it produces the color blue?

Did you know the only reason the flatlanders didn’t drift off into the freezing cold yet boiling hot void of space, despite not having a planet with the volume and mass needed to produce a gravitational field, is their dimension’s lack of third dimensionality?

Like insects pinned underneath glass, yet the glass protected their corpses from falling apart?

They scream. He cries. He laughs. They die.

It’s an old saying: “When gravity falls and earth becomes sky beware the beast with just one eye”

And when little Billy looks away from the stars, looks down to finally see his tiny, minuscule home

For the first and last time, he sees a blue triangle with a hat, and a red triangle with a bow.

[brandycranby]

ce characters + whether your asian parents would like them and how to win them over 🥺😣🫶🏻💕🍵

based on unfortunately realistic intrusive thoughts i have while reading self-insert fics

steve: military? hm. desi peeps leave ur comments bc idk how desi parents feel but i know ALL the east asian and southeast asian parents and grandparents might have something to say about that. the US army has left its mark.. just saying... better highlight his better features such as his sensitive artistic nature!! wait. wait. not that either, no need for them to call him a bum at the dinner table.

just... have him win your mom over with his stunning future son-in-law adorableness and charming smile 😀

andy: lawyer. that's it- no, no it doesn't matter if your EA mom prefers flower boys and he's a little too bearded. lawyer. the desi parents are messaging the Whatsapp group chat, they're calling the fam back in the motherland. look at that beard. lawyer.

tall ✅ upper middle-class ✅ drives an audi ✅ divorced? he has you now.

ari: handsome... ok.. but also. military. hmm. non-religious/non-abrahamic religious peeps, your asian parents might give him a better reception. but um, "divorced?" "has a daughter??" "soldier la??" "he have steady income???" 👁️👄👁️

my super religious background peeps, im so sorry. maybe the part where he's Jewish will get lost in translation. um. that's a fight and a half at the dinner table, good luck 🥲 maybe just elope.

curtis: ... I MEAN IS IT THE APOCALYPSE?? if not, your dad would probably like him. a man's man. strong, silent, built like a brick wall and does whatever DIY project he points him towards when you visit. your mom will call him scary. i don't think that would change whether you're E/S/SEA, your mom is pulling you aside in the kitchen and asking if you're really sure about him.

let Curtis show his gentle side. yeah, he's tall and intimidating but he has a soft heart. tell your lil cousins and niblings to use him as a jungle gym

jake: see Andy above- no, EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN ANDY. yeah, military veteran, yeah, he's a lil awkward. but. computer science. information technology. wifi. tvs, laptops, phones. your parents are going to turn him into their personal help line and you might have to put a stop to it but goddamn if they don't call him son the minute this convo happens:

"he's in cybersecurity"

"what is cyba-"

"... IT"

"OH EYE-TEE. EYE-TEE VERY GOOD"

ransom: he's rich. he wears L.L. Bean and probably has the Louis Vuitton travel duffle bag. ransom is the nicest dressed, actually fashionable, sleek, and nicest smelling compared to the rest of these bozos. your mom loves him already. your dad is on the fence but also, he's well off enough to take care of you.

don't... say that he writes. yes, he does write. but focus on the fact that he's connected to a big big publishing house. yes yes. if this is an au and he's in charge of Blood Like Wine. BUSINESS OWNER, TAKE THAT.

---

disclaimer, all asian parents different. my dad is a graphic designer/artsy (though idk if he'd want me to date an artist tbh...) if ur parents aren't represented feel free to reblog w ur thoughts 😌

[spurgie-cousin]

ok I'm watching Alyssa & Katie's pregnancy Q&A here's what stuck out or what I just want to bitch about:

1. Weirdest craving: Alyssa's was bbq chips on a sandwich, which Katie said 'ew', and her's was spicy 'Ray-man' (Ramen) noodles with peanut butter M&Ms (way grosser imho than chip sandwiches, which actually sound good). In a later question they say they both have been craving Little Cesar's pizza and crazy bread.

2. Most unexpected thing about pregnancy/postpartum: both agree that they had no idea how constipated they'd be from the medications they have to take lol. Katie is so embarrassed admitting this that he ears turn red and says she starts sweating (oh my sweet summer child). Alyssa says for postpartum it was just all the pain and soreness that lingers for so long.

3. One thing that's not talked about that you wish you were prepared for: Katie says she wasn't prepared for so much interrupted sleep during pregnancy, she expected her sleep issues to begin after the baby was born. Alyssa says post partum, she had crazy night sweats that she was not at all anticipating.

4. Hardest thing to give up while pregnant: Alyssa says sex, especially in your first trimester when you're nauseous, she says that's when she has the hardest time doing the deed and misses it. Katie turns bright red and says "I can't believe you said that!", I say hell yea Alyssa for admitting you miss the D. Katie gets too embarrassed to even answer.

5. How to deal with stretch marks: Alyssa says she doesn't worry about it so much because she believes them to be genetic (I'm inclined to agree with her but not sure tbh). Katie says she just rubs herself down with every product she can find every night just in case one of them works lol.

6. Worst part of postpartum: Alyssa again says that she misses getting some on the regular which, kudos to her libido tbh. I mean I get it, those hormone fluctuations have to suck when you can't act on them lol, Katie is again visibly uncomfy of course (on one hand I get why, on the other it's not like Alyssa is going into vivid detail or anything but whatever).

7. (Just for Katie) What has been the most surprising part of pregnancy for you?: Katie literally says that she was surprised pregnancy wasn't more..............glamorous. Which I find to just be an absolutely absurd thing for someone who's known so many pregnant women to say, like do they all really communicate this little about what it's actually like??? She actually says that she thought it was going to be all cute bump photos and outfits and now that she's sick and struggles to put on makeup most mornings she's having a rude awakening like, I'm sorry I know she's young and ignorant but this has to be one of the most completely ignorant things I've heard any of them say. If there's anything these bozos should at least be partial experts on its babies and pregnancy, and none of Katie's sisters have had 'glamorous' pregnancies?? That one got me riled up lol.

8. (For Alyssa) if this is going to be your last pregnancy, how do you plan to prevent other pregnancies in the future?: She isn't sure and says she's still looking into her options for now. She cuts her answer short by saying this question might actually be a little too personal which ??? you just mentioned your (apparently vigorous) sex life not once but twice and I don't get how that's any less personal, especially in your corner of the Christian universe, but ok (I guess maybe baby prevention could really be that much more taboo than even openly talking about sex).

9. A pregnant follower who's afraid of tearing asks Alyssa if she's ever experienced it: Alyssa says yes, esp with her first baby she had to get stitches. Katie says tearing and aftercare are her worst fears along with pooping during birth. Alyssa says she's also afraid of pooping and it's happened to her once so far (don't get me wrong I love that she's being so candid but again how is this less personal than birth control).

10. Is sex weird when you're pregnant?: Alyssa is again the only one that answers, Katie gets red and looks away from the camera (oh c'mon Katie). Alyssa says yes, when you're 9 months pregnant and huge sometimes you gotta get creative (that made me lol).

11. Is it normal for husbands and wives (in their world I'm assuming) to talk about the details of pregnancy?: Alyssa says it depends, and that some guys aren't as interested as others or maybe only overhear stuff that sisters are discussing with each other. Katie says she feels like she can talk openly with Travis about everything so far (which at first I was like great!), Alyssa jokes that Travis can watch this video to help prepare him. Katie says "omg no I'd be too embarrassed!!" and my previous optimism about their open communication deflates lol. At this point I'm like ok, I mean this in the nicest of ways but grow up tf Katie. Alyssa's mentioned MARRIED sex in the *vaguest* of terms and you haven't said anything even remotely scandalous (unless you count poop as scandalous), that shouldn't be embarrassing in front of your hubs of all people girl!!

12. How did you know you were ready to start having kids?: Alyssa says she doesn't know if she ever felt 100% ready and that she's not sure if that's even something that's possible (I agree!). She adds that as long as the circumstances are good, you can afford it, you're in a good place with your partner, and you're otherwise as prepared as you can be, just go for it if you know it's something you want for yourself (Katie doesn't answer but nods).

13. How do you avoid repeating baby names in such a large family?: Both Alyssa and Katie say repeating names or having similar names isn't something the family really worries about, because it's understood that with so many people, you're bound to run into duplicates or similarities at some point. They both seem very nonchalant about it and I wish all the people who think similar-sounding baby names cause big drama in their families could hear that lol.

14. Do you get annoyed when people touch your pregnant belly?: Both say no if it's family or good friends, but that they don't really like being touched by strangers or acquaintances as much and I'm totally with them there. I think it's weird as hell to just touch a stranger's stomach without consent. Katie says she's not comfortable telling people not to touch her though, so when it happens she just kind of stands there with a strained smile (aw).

15. Baby item that you don't think is useful or is silly: Alyssa says baby wipe warmer lol, which is always something I've thought is silly so it's good to have that confirmation. She says you're grabbing wipes on the run so much that it's not worth it to get your kids used to warm wipes bc they'll just freak out when they have to be changed elsewhere with cold ones. Katie says she has one on her registry and shopped for a long time to find the exact right one 😂

Overall I thought the video was super cute and entertaining, I love the dynamic between Alyssa and Katie where they're kind of polar opposites but really good friends. I really appreciated Alyssa's answers more than I expected, I think she's just gotten to that phase of life where she realizes it's silly to be uptight about things that are just facts of life and I can appreciate that.

Katie mentions being uncomfortable again in their sign-off and says that she talked about things in this video that she usually doesn't even talk to her sisters about, which again makes me a little sad bc I really hoped they'd be closer and more open than that (hopefully she's just saying for youtube because she's embarrassed and shy). I just think if that's true and she can't talk to her sisters about sex or bodily functions or pregnancy who can she talk to about that stuff, ya know? Travis I would hope, but she kinda kibosh'd that as well. They end with Alyssa promising they'll do it again, and that Katie won't be so bashful next time 😂

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

finally have time to continue my rewatch, so on to episode 9

again another one of my favorites and the grassley duel is probably my favorite fight of the series tbh

worth noting that miorine doesnt seem bothered that shaddiq comes to check up on her. gotta wonder how often he'd swing by, though i think it's safe to say absolutely not often enough that he would show he actually gives a shit

ok idk how i didnt notice it in the op after so many times but that fuckin door is there again.... i'm just going to hyperfixate on this dumb gold door that probably doesn't mean anything besides being another nod to utena

lol it honestly kills me that under difference circumstances (aka if shaddiq didnt have his head so far up his ass), they really could have been good friends. instead his decision to stay relatively distant and put up his cunning business front results in miorine (rightly) not trusting him at all.

right before miorine challenges shaddiq, there's a real fast cut to him tightening his fist on the table and i gotta wonder how in the world he thought he'd be able to just talk this out after basically screwing miorine over like this and then trying to extort her lol. yea he was ready to have to duel if it came down to it, but like cmon man just be normal for once

god i wish we could've seen secelia just dig into lauda more lmao

i love that miorine knows how to play the stupid game all these people play just as well as all of them but god am i glad that at the end of it all she doesnt have to deal with any of this shit anymore

lol i really wanna know how no one had noticed nika having secret meetings and sending secret messages for months tbh like chuchu even makes a comment asking where nika is in the scene before this one so she probably just disappared at random times but anime logic lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

up until this moment when miorine tells shaddiq that he's just like everyone else in the group, did this guy think that anything he's done (or really, hasn't done) would have made miorine think differently?

the look on his face here as miorine stops him from entering her most sacred of spaces just really says it all. like he can't fathom that miorine legitimately does not think positively of him

this is definitely one of my favorite scenes from the whole series. just showcasing how highly suletta thinks of miorine. whereas miorine was upset suletta agreed to a duel with elan a few episodes back, suletta just never questions miorine challenging shaddiq

this has gotta be the moment shaddiq realizes suletta is a "rival" for miorine's heart, yea?

i know what you are, sabina

lol these dorks

lmao miorine, you're so ruthless

on a serious note, someone please write a random student from asticassia pov fic because like imagine seeing all this going on from some rando's pov. the benerit group princess who hates everyone and has been trying to fuck off as far as possible suddenly forms a business and now she's challenging people to duels????

imagine if vim had sucessfully murdered delling and he just left guel as bob the builder for the rest of his life. why in the hell did he have to go by bob lmao

omg did we all collectively forget that the second school shooting episode wasn't the first time she's done this?!

so glad our little tanuki calls this bozo out on this shit. all you had to do was be a normal human being lol

the funny thing about shaddiq's little monologue here is that it's all his feelings under the assumption that miorine would forever be trapped within the confines of the benerit group and the stupid game her dad made up. and yeah, i suppose in that respect, he's partially right... but if he knew miorine well at all and not some idealized version of her, he'd know she wants nothing to do with any of that

bless you, gjm for making this loser seem more unhinged just by choosing to translate onna as bitch lmao

even secelia and rouji are just like uhhhhhhh

oh this is real nice juxtaposed with episode 24's "i'm a selfish person"

be selfish all you want, little tanuki, you deserve it

aerial hitting permet score six is such an iconic shot lmao this episode and this part specifically gave me goosebumps like a little loser the first time i saw it as the witch from mercury song starts playing

omg i am so excited that i preordered a permet score six aerial from p-bandai lmao look at her shes so cool all in blue

same, prospera, same

will never forget how happy i was when the till-chuchu headshot happens lmao, it still rules

i hope if gwitch ever gets a recap movie or movies that we get the moment miorine finds out about ericht and aerial. as aerial hits permet score six and suletta is talking to her, we see miorine visibly confused over suletta talking to her mobile suit... and i just really really want to see miorine's reaction to finding out about eri on top of her inner thoughts on suletta talking to aerial. like at first i'm sure she thought it was some quirky thing especially calling it her sister, but it's gotta be something she was like wtf about, right?

made it to image limit so no more pics but one thing that's respectable about shaddiq is him realizing at the end of this episode that there really is something special between miorine and suletta even if perhaps at this point the two of them haven't outright acknowledged it. we see him acknowledge in ep 7 that miorine is becoming a better version of herself from suletta's influence on her, but him bringing up dueling for her hand in marriage, to me at least, is him hanging up his towel when it comes to miorine because he realized suletta really won her heart over - he literally says "maybe you'd have let me in [to the greenhouse]"

lmao i really tried to not go overboard with screenshots but oh well

lets see if i can finish cour 1 tomorrow

[orangekingfisher]

Silvio Berlusconi wikipedia 1

he is a governmentting guy. loves to govern every day. very rich and loves government. his signature looks like if i went to an italian restaurant and looked at the header of the menu HIS SIGNATURE LOOKS ITALIAN HUH

Silvio Berlusconi wikipedia 1

he is a governmentting guy. loves to govern every day. very rich and loves government. his signature looks like if i went to an italian restaurant and looked at the header of the menu HIS SIGNATURE LOOKS ITALIAN HUH

Silvio Berlusconi wikipedia 1

he is a governmentting guy. loves to govern every day. very rich and loves government. his signature looks like if i went to an italian restaurant and looked at the header of the menu HIS SIGNATURE LOOKS ITALIAN HUH

^ funny

TAX FRAUD HAHA L BOZO 😂😂😂 I AM NOT SURPRISED SKILL ISSUE

"In his long tenure, he was often accused of being an authoritarian leader and a strongman. Berlusconi still remains a controversial figure who divides public opinion and political analysts. Supporters emphasize his leadership skills and charismatic power, his fiscal policy based on tax reduction, and his ability to maintain strong and close foreign relations with both the United States and Russia. In general, critics address his performance as a politician and the ethics of his government practices in relation to his business holdings. Issues with the former include accusations of having mismanaged the state budget and of increasing the Italian government debt. The second criticism concerns his vigorous pursuit of his personal interests while in office, including benefiting from his own companies' growth due to policies promoted by his governments, having vast conflicts of interest due to ownership of a media empire, with which he has restricted freedom of information, and being blackmailed as leader because of his turbulent private life."

PROS: leader, charismatic, low taxes (wonder how he did that), good foreign relations

CONS: authoritarian, unethical, mismanaged budget and high debt, unethical. and also unethical. and unethical again.

ofc he's a firstborn :/ he just has that vibe

HE PLAYED BASS???? AND WROTE SONGS????? HUH WHAT . THHIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME THANK YOU

"occasionally performed as a cruise ship crooner." tf why is that a word too similar to coomer i don't approve.

"Crooner is a term used to describe primarily male singers who performed using a smooth style made possible by better microphones which picked up quieter sounds and a wider range of frequencies, allowing the singer to access a more dynamic range and perform in a more intimate manner."

ok so frank sinatra 👌 he was your prime minister and didn't sing any songs for you? sad.

"One of his best men was Bettino Craxi, a former prime minister and leader of the Italian Socialist Party." Huh. Okay. Sure. Cool. Yeah. Normal.

had to pay 48 million a year for his divorce. skill issue tbh 💀💀💀💀🔥🔥🔥🔥

"In April 2017, Berlusconi appeared in a video promoting a vegetarian Easter campaign. He was shown cuddling lambs he had adopted to save from slaughtering for the traditional Easter Sunday feast; he did not confirm or deny whether he himself is a vegetarian."

Ultimate unsolved mystery does he choke on meat or no 🤔🤔🤔🤔

wait slaughtering lambs for easter is a thing? i would not know. but muslims do that in eid and i look forward to it every year. eid is actually in two weeks. i wrote a few more sentences about this and realised im going on a tangent oops

THAT IS PART 1. I AM NOT RISKING THIS BEING DESTROYED. FAREWELL <3

and now you know why we want him dead <3

[southparkblo]

Group chat stuff!!

Tweek is still Tweek

Tolkien is Tonya

Craig is Claire

Jimmy is Jill

Clyde is Cleo

Chapter 1 (Wednesday March 19, 2:49pm)

Tweek

my dick is clenching thinking about your tight gripper

Tonya

Hello???

cleo

literally who's

claire

take a guess, punk.

Jill

woahhh there buddy

claire

sorry, I just get a little jelous some times, is all... 🙂

tweek

STOP

tweek

bro I'm gonna fail this fucking class man holy shit

Claire

U won't it's ok I'll help u

cleo

wait what class do u have

tweek

math

my brain literally can't comprehend this shit man🫠

cleo

I have a 34 in math rn 😭😭😭

claire

LMFAO

Jill

L bozo😼

claire

literally how the fuck can u possibly be that bad 💀

cleo

ok well ur fucking dyslexic bitch

claire

stop ik and I'm gonna do so bad on the literacy test

cleo

litteracy u dumb ass

making fun of my grades

I'll fucking piss on ur fucking guinea pig hoe

we'll see what u do then

claire

that's actually so crazy

Jill

leave Stripe #73 out of this

claire

bro :""""""""""<

tweek

u guys leave her alone

jill

OmG GuYs StOp FigHtinG

Tweek

😭(😈)

claire

wtf does that mean

tweek

*huffs and puffs and blows ur pants off*

claire

alright

tweek

listen here... Jill Valmer.

Jill

... yes ma'am?

tweek

I've given you a chance.

Are you ready for your punishment?

Jill

yes mommy

tweek

Very well then

Jill

eat my cunt

Tonya

you guys can't not be horny for 2 fucking seconds

Jill

I'm actually extremely dry rn

tweek

same

cleo

I'm not

Tonya

no body cares??

Jill

what about u claire

Tonya

?????

claire

I mean I just walked by some kindergartener

tweek

Jesus christ man

ur gonna get canceled

Jill

she can't get canceled she's a gay neurodivergent woman of color

claire

yeah try me that's 4

I win the oppression Olympics

Tonya

oppression Olympics is crazy 🙈

claire

that's u

Tonya

!?!??!

Tweek

?!?!?!?!?

tweek

me🥷

Tonya

omfg

claire

👉👌 us

tweek

no.

claire

b-but

tweek

no buts. not after what you did...

cleo

schools almost over!!!

claire

b-baby I'm sorry! I!- I didn't mean to shit on ur bed!

tweek

whats done is done

go fucking burn

also yeah I'm really excited to leave

cleo

I'm actually so hungry

tweek

same imma go home and make me a claire some yummies!!

cleo

oh claire told me we could hang out at her house after school

tweek

yeah I was talking about her house I call her house mine sometimes idk I practically live there lol

Cleo

AWWWWWWWWWWW

SO CUTE

claire

kill urself

tweek

golly gee

pull out ur wee wee

Tonya

I love how u just say literally anything that comes to ur mind

tweek

ik I'm so random!

but not really though the majority of the stuff I don't say

I would get put in the ward if I said everything that was on my mind 💀

Tonya

oop my bad

Jill

miss girl said that she thinks she belongs in the ward and ur reaction is "oop"

Tonya

man idk

tweek

guys I'm fine omg!!

claire

what world r u living in where ur fine 💀

tweek

ur not fine!!!!

tweek

that bell felt better then an orgasm

claire

frfr

Tonya

have yall even had sex yet

claire

lots

tweek

so much

claire

it's all we do tbh

if her rack wasn't so big I wouldn't be with her tbh

tweek

yeah and I wouldn't be with her if her pussy didn't smell like fish

claire

I got that chlamydia ashthetic

chlamydia core

cleo

there's this one hair inside of my asshole help me it actually hurts

Tonya

if u want I can check it out for you 😏

cleo

JSHSKWBSTYD9WKVS

cleo

yes pls 🙏

Tonya

meet at my locker today

cleo

y

Tonya

cause I got these cool lights for it and I wanna show u :)

cleo

ok!!!

[carebearmareee]

heyyy <3 here for a matchup?? i remember trying to do one once, but hopefully you aren't the same person 'cus that'd be embarrassing 😳

ANYWAY. heres my totally aesthetic bio <3

— ( main three horoscopes ) cancer 🌞 gemini🌜& cancer ⬆️

— ( clothing style ) ( preferred since i can't rlly dress the way i want until i move out 😃 ) mixed?? a lot of fairygrunge. mmm fairygrunge <3 also punk vibes? kinder whore is VERY cool!! id like to look like a beat up babydoll who vomits black goo. 🥺

i also really enjoy regular fairycore, too!! victorian goth is gorgeous, and dark toned corsets r hot.

sometimes i like to wear lots of makeup, sometimes i just do thick mascara, babydoll lips and falsies <3 it's way easier since i burn out a lot.

not really a clothing thing, but i discovered this new (?) aesthetic that's called starflesh and OMG ITS COOL!

i don't have any piercings other than my ears, but when i can decide what to do with my own body, i plan on getting these ::

smiley

septum

both nostrils

snake bites!!

maybe dimples? ( is that what they're called? )

double eyebrows <3

tongue? ( kinda scared tho )

and some other unmentionables 😃

probs gonna get every ear piercing known to man

— ( shit that i LOVE ) hiking. as long as im not tired, and in the mood. crystal hunting is cool, whether it's in the stores or out near creeks. never find any pretty ones out in the wild, though :(

thrifting is cool!! i love going to my local mall and getting myself dolled up so i can flex on the old (bigoted)people.

most of the time im sulking in bed, though :') i also love going for drives!!! i usually end up listening to music though, and not wanting to talk. but maybe that's just with my dad, idk 😳

i consider myself spiritual? idk, it's been a while but it's been rotting my brain lately.

— ( music genre? ) like.. literally anything. nu metal, indie, dark and classic pop, rap and more. talking about music artists would be easier, sooo i really love all of these artists and maybe more!! ::

Tyler the Creator

Doja

Incubus

Korn

Slipknot

Limpbizkit

Lady Gaga

Citizen

Tame Impala

Evanescence

MAC DEMARCO (pls ilhsm)

Steve Lacy

Pink Pantheress

i don't want this to be too long, but yeah go figure :')

— ( extra ) my favorite crystals ( mostly in color ) are amethyst, citrine, tigers eye, jade and rose quartz!!

my favorite yuuri boy is probs seth. ( atm, i love almost all except jack. sorry jack.. :< ) i really connect to his character..

but obviously it's cus we both have mommy issues HSHSHS.

tbh tho, yan!finn has been on my mind as of late though. mmm <3 obsessive witch man.

my fav animals r bats, deer, frogs (i feel like most queer ppl do), foxes, BARN OWLS, cats, dogs and probs way more.

SORRY THIS IS RLLY LONG i have the urge to literally tell everyone everything abt myself sometimes.

no because i wanna be ur friend like what u seem so cool. dhakrhajfaisj ok i just need to know what fandom this would be for i don’t think u said it on there but maybe u did and i’m just being a little bozo lmao

HAVE A NICE DAY :))

[arwenkenobi48]

Grint: Well, I’ve been thinking...

Aresko: You’ve been ‘thinking’??? Look here, Grint, I’ve warned you about thinking!

[athyxto]

ok uhm hi im gonna follow ppl from my old acct so hopefully u bozos see this

i was @athyct0 on tumblr. i was in the mental hospital and then my phone got messed up. anyways turns out im bipolar.

so i actually left the tcc, i have for months now and tbh im doing so much better! i have a new gf and i love them so fucking much <3 we've liked each other for most if not all of 2022 and they liked me in 2021 too. i have a ton of new friends at school. i get along with everyone online or not so thats nice. i had my name changed to devon too. well i just wanted to update in case u guys thought i just dipped one day. buh bye. tagging tcc so my old friends see this.

[madmadmilk]

You are literally so stupid. You don't need a vaccine for coronaviruses. They are so mild that the immunsysteme successfully deals with them in 99,5% of all cases. Global IFR is 0,68% (WHO). Age meridian is 82 years. People that don't survive bc of very compromised immunsystems are at risk for ANY virus or bacteria. Yet despite this stats you let yourself be unethically blackmailed to get your unlawfully taken life and freedom back through a never tested mRNA vax that hacks your DNA? Ridiculous!

lol ok so i wasn’t going to reply to this cos, cos ppl who send stuff like this are just baiting us; they don’t care how /we/ reply, or what we have to say.... but i’m feeling generous AND frustrated today. so you have been warned.....

(NOTE: i urge you ALL to inform yourselves. read from multiple sources, keep up to date with new guidelines and regulations, and for the love of all..... take time to think outside of yourself.)

lol first, it’s the random statistics for me. 🥴 it’s the name dropping but no sources for me. 🥴 it’s the starting with an insult for me. 🥴 it’s the constant //mansplaining// without ever providing a solution for me. 🥴 it’s the way that people Like This use “science” that benefits themselves, as an individual, ONLY when it supplements ‘their side’ for me. 🥴 it’s the way that everyone with this argument disregards how FUCKING CONTAGIOUS covid-19 is for me. 🥴 and it’s the way that they treat LIVING BREATHING PEOPLE as a mere numbers for me. 🥴😫🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🙄🙁😠😡

..... bruh.

every time i see “only the elderly die from it” i want to rip my fucking hair out. like, ok? so you don’t care about grandma and grandpa? their friends? someone else’s grandparents or parents? cool. but you’re forgetting that... IF WE WEREN’T IN A PANDEMIC RIGHT NOW, THEY WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD TO BATTLE FOR THEIR LIFE. ISOLATE FOR THEIR LIFE. HAVE ANY INTERRUPTION TO THEIR LIFE. (hello???) ... and that ‘ ‘ idea ‘ ‘ always excludes our immunocompromised friends and family members, the frontline workers, and anyone who has just randomly, and unfortunately, ran out of luck. like (?) can we stop treating the data as mere numbers? as inevitable? THESE ARE PEOPLE......... .. don’t think that “well, they would have died/been affected anyway”, NONE OF US DESERVE TO BE RAVAGED AND DISPLACED BY THIS. NO ONE. who the fuck was planning to get fatally ill on a tuesday in 2020? not fucking me.

and also? people who talk like this act as if the fucking pandemic isn’t “That Bad.” like what? when in our history, in our OWN fucking lifetimes have we ever had to lockdown and limit ourselves like this? when has modern america ever collectively sat at home like this? –– oh wait, it’s because people like this have just carried on living their life unbothered by the guidelines. it’s because people who send messages and speak like this, think only of themselves, of their own home, and about all the things they WANT to do. dude, check your privilege. 

honestly, friends, we are lining up and praying for a vaccine/solution, because we are at Plan B (or C, or D, idk). Plan A, i.e. full lockdown to stop the initial spread, was never fully implemented in America–– we’re now left at a “to each their own” type approach. we can’t even agree to wear masks in public spaces. can’t even agree that eating INSIDE of restaurants may not be a great idea. can’t even agree that... people deserve a relief package???! what the fuck. i’m exhausted, you’re exhausted, we’re all exhausted.

i’m so tired of people shooting down suggestions, SOLUTIONS to battling covid-19. you don’t want to wear a mask, you don’t want to socially distance, you don’t want another lockdown,  you don’t want the vaccine–– so what are you proposing we do? what “freedom” do we have like this?

if you don’t bat an eyelash about licking a metro pole, good for you. if you don’t mind sharing drinks and food with friends, good for you. if you have a fantastic immune system and covid passes easily, good for you. but if you get fatally ill from covid? what do you want us to tell you? tough shit? NO. no one should have been threatened by this disease, and the people who ARE currently battling through it deserve to be cared for and not dismissed as a fucking notch on a graph. hospitals, healthcare workers, frontline workers don’t deserve to be simultaneously overwhelmed and sidelined and praised for this–– what is praise if everyone is suffering??????

like i said in the beginning of this last year, america is failing this group project. and we are ALL suffering for it. i understand that any sort of “anti––” doesn’t care for any sort of reason besides argument. but to those of us who care, who are informing ourselves, and protecting one another–– we’ll just have to carry this all our our backs. it’s quite thankless but we must. that’s duty, honor and fucking self-preservation right there.

and TBH just wear a mask and stay home you bozos; i’m sure you’re hardly first in line for the vaccine. if you are so frightened of it, or so resilient to any illness, then just stay the fuck home to protect us in the one way you can.

jfc “you are literally so stupid” my ass...........

[oh-phineas]

Private Chat With Boba | Phineas/Boba

Phineas tries to do some investigating on Tinder... and Boba does some investigating of their own.

@swynlake-spill (and @exsqueak-me technically)

Date: 6 October 2021

Warnings: None

Phineas: Question for u

Boba: answer for u mr flynn

Phineas: Who are u lol

Boba: ok u caught me. i'll tell you. its me, phineas from the future.

Phineas: Prove it

Boba: u bozo that will mess with the time-space continuum. cmon thats time travel 101

Phineas: Aren’t you already messing with the time space continuum by messaging me? 

Boba: nah its encrypted with future technology to prevent that kind of mistake. thats why i only communicate via the internet

Phineas: Ok well tell me something about my “future self” then

Boba: CUZE becomes an international success but u really zuckerberg it up in the end and its broken into several smaller companies. im here 2 prevent that from happening 

Phineas: Oh man what do i have to do

Boba: date pip it's your only option

Phineas: LMAOOO Phineas: Gotta hand it to you that was some good trolling Phineas: Legit question why r u so obsessed with Pip and me lol

Boba: i am not obsessed with pip and u, swynlake is obsessed with pip and u. a reminder that i am but a mirror of what the town gives me.  maybe be less in love with him or something idk

Phineas: Are they really? Like do you actually get a lot of messages about us?  Phineas: I’m actually kind of curious

Boba: uh yeah lol if you read the blog that's pretty obvious!!! i just post what people send in. you understand as a business guy. gotta give the customers what they want

Phineas: Huh weird I wonder who’s sending them

Boba: well considering u once sent an 'anon' about yourself... Boba: u can see why i would buy into the rumours ...

Phineas: That was one time omg. It is not me. 

Boba: well okay then who do YOU think it is?

Phineas: Probably a troll. Idk. That’s why I was asking you. Definitely not Pip lol

Boba: lolol why "definitely"??? because you guys are good friends? 

Phineas: I mean I’m not gonna talk about him behind his back but he basically seems to think it would be the worst thing ever if we dated lol so I don’t think he would be the one saying that

Boba: oh yikes thats gotta hurt 😬

Phineas: I mean it’s not like i’m torn up about it I’m not trying to date him I think him and his bf are really good together. Tad is awesome and I’m really happy for them. Phineas: Like yeah I do gotta wonder why he acts like it would be the end of the world tbh but it doesn’t matter anyway bc I doubt it would ever happen Phineas: Why am I telling u all of this lol 

Boba: hmmm yeah it is weird since he doesnt act like that with the other rumours about him. oh well! it probably doesnt mean anything

Phineas: He’s a great guy total G always has my back but he can be so weird sometimes lol  Phineas: You seem pretty good at reading people so if you have any theories lmk lol Phineas: I just don’t want to make anything weird ever you know?

Boba: totally get it! friendships can be super complicated and gossip can make that more complicated lol. well, if u feed into it. Boba: not that im going to stop gossiping about u too btw i get great engagement on ur posts.  u understand

Phineas: Lol well I guess I’ll just have to give you some good material 😂😂 Phineas: That was a joke btw

Boba: was it 😈😈😈😈😈 Boba: tbhhhh if ur unhappy with the narrative phineas u doooo have the power to change it. my inbox is open Boba: just remember to click anon this time.

Phineas: Lmao I’ve learned my lesson. I respect the grind tho

Boba: thank you! now want to give me any tidbits of juicy intel while we're here ;D

Phineas: CUZE.biz check it out😎

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

May I request for the Leona, Vil, Azul and our boy Jack getting stuck in their MC's world and their experience? (MC is with them)

Oh sweet Jesus akdhakdhsk FORGIVE ME OF MY RATHER CYNICAL OUTLOOK ON OUR LIL BLUE PLANET 😬 I think it’s understandable to be more cynical than ever in this Hell Year, lolll

Send these poor, sweet babies back home, they deserve better than to be stuck here of all places 😅 ESPECIALLY JACK AAAAAA SAVE THE BABY 💔

Ok, not even going to play with you... Vil would thrive, lol.

Just give him time enough to stop panicking over all his lost clothes, magic, etc., and find new things that works for him and his detailed self-care routine, and whatever he chooses to do, he will make Fat Stacks in.

He’s the male version of Belle Delphine, here ajdhakdhsj

He appears anywhere, on tv with some company to continue his performer career he had back home, or on youtube/instagram, and he is almost immediately just as famous here as he was in Wonderland.

Can we really blame anyone, tho? Look at him.

And there’s no Neige here!

Also, ‘my’ Vil is definitely the one that knows there are many different ways to be beautiful~. He may be a bit more blunt to his friends if he thinks they’re not quite hitting the usual mark their talents place them in. But that’s only because he cares about them, and wants everyone to see their best, as he does~. He’s an absolutely encouraging sweetheart to anyone else/a beginner at whatever their passion is, though~. And either way, he’s your best cheerleader~.

Of course he still just doesn’t feel himself without his magic, or ability to do potions. I don’t think he’d find the witchcraft in our world would suit him very well.

If he was really stuck for good, of course he’d make the best of it. But if he could go home, especially if you wanted to go back with him, he’d jump at the chance. And always be on the lookout for the chance.

But that being said, I think, aside from all the world’s problems, of course, he’d find it interesting just how similar, and vastly different, things are here.

He donates Ass Loads to so many charities, like honestly.

Rich boy knows his privilege, and lets others ride off his advantages as much as he can. 💜

He becomes friends with James Charles. You know he does.

You can’t be truly fully beautiful if you’re not also lovely on the inside, too, after all~!

Rip Rook wherver he is, he is lost without his Queen 😔

Gosh, in direct contrast to Vil, Leona probably suffers the most over here?? Jahdkshdj

I know they based his sleep habits off a irl lion, but that also sounds just a Tad Bit like possible depression to me (along with a lot of the other ways he’s behaved so far, lol).

Get this sweetheart to some therapy, maybe?? Help him get a lil energy boost at least to help him feel better 💛

He’s going to HATE the work pace people have to maintain just to eat here, 100%.

He enjoys the entertainment the most, though~. Video games, things you can watch online, all those sorts of things~. Might like a few of our sports, too~.

Poor bby struggles with having to work, though, please help him 💔

At least he doesn’t have to live under being Forever Prince, here, and doesn’t have to worry about turning anything he touches to sand. And the lions in the zoos are pretty cool to go see~!

He’d probably love it if he could go to Africa and see what our “Afterglow Savannah” looks like here~. Meet the lions that are in the wild~.

I imagine he and Jack would both lose the ears for human ones, and the tails, too. (😢💔) So he probably feels weird seeing himself like that, and might miss his tail. Especially if it helped him with balance. Give him some time to adjust to it~. There’s these neat new tails people made for cosplay, that can move around on their own, if he’d like one to help him not miss his old one so much~!

I had to really think about what the heck he’d even do for a job, cause he’s so grumpy to everyone, retail’s just OUT, lol. And I don’t think he’d be that great at something like youtube, either ajdhsjjd

It’s hard for him to not just lay around all lazy, rather than think of stuff to do for it/actually get up and go do it. Let alone all the meetings, and interacting with fans, and the like.

So maybe actually being one of the zookeepers would be a good fit for him~. He’d be obligated to actually go, and he’d get to be around lots of different animals~. Might help him feel more at home, too~. I think he’d be pretty good at it, and the animals would probably be drawn to him~ 💛

He’d also absolutely challenge the authority here (or anywhere else that has appalling governments, especially if they’re not run by women). The state of things, and the way women and minorities are treated by white men around the world, and men in general, would absolutely appall him. He so drunk on that respecc women juice, he just can’t wrap his head around what the hell the problem is with those rich assholes in power. Put him in power, and he’ll ruthlessly show them what-for! ALL the others behind him would be women! Good grief, humans!

All in all, he doesn’t mind it here, but would also prefer to be home, where he can sleep more, and Ruggie can run around for him most of the time, lol

Besides, that allowed him to spend more time with you~! 💛

(LOOKIT THAT HAPPY BOY SMILE!!! I’M DEAD 💞💞💞)

Oh, Jack. Sweet, sweet Jack.

He absolutely becomes a personal trainer as a job, here. 1000%. He lives that Exercise Junkie Lifestyle, there’s just no doubt about it.

He’s VERY encouraging to his students, though~! Build up that beef, guys, he has total faith in you~! 🤍🤍

He absolutely loooooooves going anywhere to see wolves. He’d probably really love the wooded mountains in Europe, if you ended up there, or in Oregon/Washington if you ended up here in America~. Definitely Canada, or Alaska, too~! Just give him huge trees, snowy winters, and nearby mountains, and he feels right at home~.

Idk if he’d miss his magic a whole heck of a lot, tbh?? But he WOULD miss his friends and family! It’s just not quite the same here, though he thinks it’s beautiful and interesting to see where you came from~. 🤍

He’s a good boy 😭

Also appalled with the state of so many rulers and governings both in your home, and around most of the world, lol.

He can’t stand seeing so many people suffer like that! How can they possibly live the life that’s the most healthy and happy for them to live, disabled, chronically ill, or not, if they’re suffering under an iron fist all the time?!

He CAN’T stand for it. You won’t stop him till he sees good change starting to finally happen. Especially if you live here! There’s no way he can just sit around and have you be subjected to that!

HE’S A GOOD BOY 😭

You gotta calm him down a lot and remind him there are others just as good and kind as he is, fighting to change things too 🤍

God help people if he gets here anytime within 2020-2021. He’s sucker punching nearly everyone he sees without a mask.

He’s also sucker punching every nazi he sees, too.

My goodness, please show him the movie Wolf Children! He’ll hide the fact he’s crying multiple times through it, but it’s one of his favorite movies here~.

If you do manage to go back to Wonderland, please try to bring a copy of it with you. It’s the one thing he’ll miss most, and keep asking to watch with you again, before remembering it doesn’t exist there. 😭

He also misses his tail and ears a lot. Losing all of that + his senses would be very a very awkward adjustment for him, and he wouldn’t really like it poor bby 💔 Give him lots of hugs to compensate U-U 🤍

His favorite thing to do with you would probably be to go hiking, and stay in a little cabin in the woods, for a week or two~. Somewhere in one of the previously mentioned places~.

(I couldn’t find a chibi gif of Azul to use, rip 😭)

Azul is just straight up becoming a mafia boss, probably wkdhakdjjs.

He’s the ‘good’ kind, though. He’s learned his lesson since his overblot, and he won’t outright kill people for not paying him back, or introduce drugs, or anything like that.

He’ll help people obtain what they want as legally as possible... But that doesn’t mean he still won’t be sly as hell about it, haha~.

He’ll protect loyal/good customers and the areas they live in, too~. In fact, he’d probably reDUCE crime from doing so.

He just learns all the dirty ins and outs of everything about how things run here. And as much as he’ll fight for change as the others would, because there’s no way any of that is an acceptable way for you to live, he’ll work dirty in order to take advantage of the system, to do so. What better way, right? Make the dominos fall from the inside out.

He’s a good business man, he knows doing so would also benefit him, too.

He’s like Bruce Wayne if Bruce Wayne was a rich mafia leader jeehskdje

Need health benefits to work for him? Covered. Need above-average pay to actually afford your bills and other stuff? Covered. Need education to do a job for him? They’ll train you.

He’s also practically a Gordon Ramsey, tbh. Lots of his bars will pop up across the world, if he stays here long enough, lol. But they’ll all help a good number of people, in doing so~.

He also donates as much as he can, too. If he’s gonna become even a fraction as rich as Jeff Bozos, he’s ending world hunger and homelessness every year.

And boy oh BOY will he swindle the rich akdhakdhwj

He will whip them so hard, they won’t know what the hell hit them.

He may have been under restrictions at the college, but he sure as hell isn’t here. Watch out as he spreads his tentacles wings.

And, of course, he adores being anywhere near the coast. Doesn’t matter what part of the world you’re in, he just needs to be by the sea.

All the polution absolutely breaks his sweet little heart, and that’s one of the first things on his list to fix. Dealing with trash back home was much easier... you could just zap it all away at big trash fields. But you don’t have that luxury here.

Being that he doesn’t really like his ocotpus form (bbyyyyyy 😢💔), he probably doesn’t mind the permanent legs. At least he doesn’t have to constantly take a potion to keep them, anymore.

But it’s still awkward to get used to. And he can’t stand that he can’t breathe underwater anymore, or go too far down without dying from the pressure.

He’ll dive as often as he can~. And loves to dive, or snorkle, or just swim~, with you, if you want to join him~.

He does miss his home, if only for the beauty and familiarity it had, despite a lot of bad memories around it. But there’s no doubt he’d thrive here, in a way only he could~.

He totally believes your own version of mermaids exists, and gets excited over anything that could prove it to be true 😅

Plus, he’s just obsessed with how marine life works here in general~. If he can juggle being a freakin maffia boss, and a marine biologist just out of the pure love for it, I have no doubt he’d do it~.

Humans most likely evolved from creatures in the water?? That’s amazing~! So the ocean feels like a distant memory of a second home~! He’d love to bond over that, the romantic~ 💜

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E3 (Acafellas)

“I’m excited to watch this one, only because I remember actually really liking the Acafellas covers? Let’s see how hard I cringe now!

I’d have to guzzle wine if I had to have dinner with Terri too, Will’s mom...

“Oh it’s just hamburger casserole! Look out for bones.” Lucky for you she likes her casserole boneful!

Sign #8 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Deciding to announce Terri’s pregnancy to his parents WELL before the 12 week standard, without asking her first. He literally springs it on her. Yeah she’s awful, but so is he right now!

“I started at Zuckerman and Zuckerman while I was in college” Alternate timeline where Lauren Zises and Puck start a business together confirmed?

Is it mean of me to be distracted by how HUGE Will’s dad’s ears are...?

Theme of the day: Placating William Schuester’s ego

Quinn calling Rachel “sweetie” even though it’s dripping with sarcasm just makes my Faberry bones jingle

The way Quinn says “Did you ever perform Mr Schuester?” is a god damn SMACK! DOWN! 

Emma roasting John Stamos, who will be her husband in about a season’s time, is golden

Will spends too much time in Emma’s office. Aren’t the students meant to have appointments? There��s no way there’s a single school in the world where the counselling service isn’t totally overwhelmed with a mile long waiting list

The “For he’s a jolly good fellow” scene is me and my sister every time we hang out

Will turning into the camera to kick off “THIS IS HOW WE DO IT” is one of the better transitions on this show, honestly

This is one of the few occasions I actually like Matt Morrison’s delivery a lot. He genuinely sounds like he has no idea how awkward this group would be to watch...

Ahh... Nothing squicks me out quite like the face of William Schuester when he knows he’s about to get some coochie

Sign #9 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Rachel and Quinn tell him his dance moves are old fashioned, and he starts being completely absent in rehearsals... Very professional of you William

The way he says “whatever” to Rachel makes me want to throw him into a bonfire

“Do you see anybody else in here with a plate of ‘I’m sorry’ cookies? BOOM! Smack DOWN!

Again, Finn just straight up not knowing what anything is is making my god damn day

Of COURSE she’s still upset Finn, you bozo! YOU PULLED A KISS-NUT-RUN!

How Many Times Can We Fit The Word Guts Into One Episode Challenge

Quinn and Santana are filling Sue in, but Brittany’s missing. I like to think she’s lost.

Wow for a while I forgot Santana and Puck were ever a thing... Can I re-forget it?

How can Mercedes look at Kurt in THAT jacket and think “yeah, that’s a heterosexual right there” I just. I can’t

Mercedes: Have you ever kissed anybody? Kurt: Yes. If by someone you mean the tender crook of my eLbOw... I’ve never wanted to be an elbow before wow!

Kurt and Mercedes reminding one another that they’re the best people within a 100 mile radius? Perfect.

“Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion” is a GREAT philosophy until you’re me and have about as much style as a dumpster raccoon

POISON! I hate that I actually like this cover...

You ready Ken? I’m ready. You ready Oooooonrie? I’m ready Will, are you?  Like, just pull the plug RIB

I can’t complain about how supportive Will’s parents are tbh it’s kinda wholesome?

Why was Figgins at this random acapella show...? Nice of him to show up anyway

“Is it too late to call Will Schuester the next Micheal Buble?” YES. Don’t sully the name of Mr Christmas himself

Oh wow. They really dragged Josh Groban into this! I nearly forgot...

MERCEDES LOOKS CUTE AS HELL IN THOSE SUSPENDERS!!! AND TINA’S WEARING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHIRT??? GIRLS!!!

Ah, the form-fitting sweaters that stop at the knee... Where would we be without them? Well, idk, if Burt Hummel was in charge apparently we’d all have nice cars

Kurt bb you have no idea you’re being asked out do you??? Bless your heart. Also poor Mercedes, she thinks he said yes...

I’m sorry, but NO car wash is going to raise you $8000. I don’t care if you’re washing those cars with caviar, it’s just not gonna happen!

Sign #10 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Henri ends up in the ER because he’s been chugging cough syrup like it’s Redbull and all he cares about is not being able to twerk for Josh Groban :/

Imagine seeing an ad for the Acafellas on fucking craigslist. Sign up now, feet pics optional!

Sign #11 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Belittles Finn for wanting to quit glee, while completely ignoring and neglecting glee.

Imagine your high school Spanish teacher holding you back after class to ask you to join his acapella band ._.

Puck join glee for MILFs and ONLY for MILFs. That’s all he wanted

Santana told Puck she ended it over his credit score but really it was all the heterosexuality

Oh god for a second I thought the first cougar was Santana’s mother I nearly flipped

“I also stopped beating people up so much” is ICONIC

Hey Ken! Maybe stop grabbing your student like that? Thanks! fuckhead

“My BOWELS have better moves than you” God damn it. I want to hate Puck, and I think we all know why, but... I love this character. 

ThAt BaSeBaLl ThInG sUrE wAs GoOd Mr ScHuE!

I know this isn’t the point of this scene, but I NEED to see Kurt just walking around school in a corset. Just chilling in his lessons like that? Icon.

Mercedes asking Kurt to be her boyfriend is PAINFUL but also I fucking love her confidence? She knows what she wants! It’s just a shame she vandalises his car right after :/ 

Kurt’s FACE when Mercedes says “Rachel?!” He can’t believe he lucked out like that oh my goodness

SHE SMASHED THE WINDOW. HIS FACE OH MY GOD. Why are all the half-naked Cheerios polishing the busted car now 

Amber busts some MOVES for this number... She kills it. I mean, don’t smash cars up kids, but if you do make sure you know your choreography for after!

It must’ve been so much fun to smash up that car for the dance oh my goodness. Did they have to shoot that in one take? Or did they just have a line of Navigators out back? RIB will never wear form-fitting sweaters that stop at the knee ever again...

“Well you busted my heart!” Ok Mercedes but like... He didn’t put a fucking ROCK through it he just doesn’t know what dates are???

Mercedes sticks up for Artie, and then Kurt sticks up for them both when Dakota Stanley starts being a bitch... They’re wonderful friends! So proud of them

Ok he’s a little gremlin man but “I feel like a WOODLAND CREATURE!” is still something I quote

I know Rachel’s nose is a recurring thing but... It’s not a bad nose? Like, at all? It suits her perfectly, and it’s not noticeably large?

Will you really don’t need to be that close to fix Finn’s tie. In fact, you don’t need to fix it at all?

I know you’re not gonna sing THAT song!

They did NOT pay Josh Groban enough for any of this. Especially not “Josh Groban loves a blousy alcoholic”

“I’m a teacher... And a really good one” Are you, Mr Schue? Are you?

The look on Kurt’s face when he comes out to Mercedes... You can see the panic there. His eyes. Oh god. And then she ACCEPTS HIM because HE’S WONDERFUL THE WAY HE IS and she’s a GOOD FRIEND!!! Oh god he’s tearing up I’m going to cry...

Although I’m not 100% in love with the way she implies that telling everybody in the glee club is as simple as being true to himself. He’s not ashamed, Mercedes, he’s terrified... Although I know her heart is in the right place. She just wants him to know they’ll accept him at the end of the day!

He’s crying... My baby boy...

Sue permanently has old Cheerios footage playing on the TV in her office, because of course she does!

Quinn can say Sue taught her that lesson, but we all know she learned it from Rachel. With whom she is in love, of course.

Ahh, the first real Faberry moment... Delicious. Finally, some good fucking food!

[overclockedhololynx]

spoiler thoughts on Dice Funk S4: part 14

“Mushroom Bernie Sanders is gonna show up and completely replace the economic system.” honestly it’s a joke but I’d believe it tbh

“this is a god fearing podcast for straights” is the funniest joke on this whole podcast

sneaking on to base as part of a party is just a good good 80s cartton plot and I’m down for it

this mission is sounding not just impossible but for these bozos it’s gonna be near miraculous if they pull it off. I can’t wait

Memphis is so cute and I love him and want him to be happy

of course Chris’ new character is a golden girls reference

 oh wait when did Yhwach get here? (this is a joke idk if anyone reading this is gonna get)

Cat driving badly because she’s headbanging too much is perfect and I love her

“I’m sure is can’t get any wor- oh crit fail” amazing oh my gOSH

“let’s be clear none of this is how dnd works” Austin you left that behind about 3 seasons ago

“you are dnd party optimised for stealthy heists” ok no I was wrong the funniest joke in this podcast is the idea that these bumblefucks are optimised for anything

Frank driving like his kids are in the back is just? so good?

I can’t get over how excited Lauren always is for moles

Lauren “what’s lemon party?” everyone else “nO!”

“now I gotta do nerd voice” “You could just use your own voice”

“I want to try and flirt with Private Fortune.” Lauren’s main goal in dnd continues to be getting laid and I appreciate that

[carey-pricemas]

Convince Me- Patrik Laine

Ok so this is going to be a multiparter! I don't know how many parts and this part isn't as cute as you guys probably want, but it sets it up AND Pate is in it, so you can't be too mad right? I'm going to try and get part 2 up for you guys tomorrow, but I'm leaving for vacation so we'll see. Enjoy!

Warning: curses

Anon Request: Hey, I was wondering if you could write a request for me! Honestly I love your writing and soon as I got the idea I knew who to ask lol. Could you write one of Patrik Laine where the reader is related to a leafs player (can be whoever you choose) and she meets Patrik and he tries to convince her that the Jets are the better team. I just need some cute, flirty Patrik fluff in my life tbh.

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              You stood leaning against the wall, playing on your phone.

              Auston was taking his sweet time showering tonight.

              "Hey." You looked up at the blonde guy before you and smiled.

              "Hi there."

              "You look lost" he said.

              "Nope" you said, holding up your phone. "Just waiting for someone."

              "Ahhh... so I guess you DON'T need my help." You laughed.

              "Alas I do not. I'm not even sure you could help me even if I was lost, but maybe you can help the next time I'm in Winnipeg?" He grinned.

              "Of course." He held his hand out. "Patrik" he said.

              "(Y/N)" you replied.

              "Beautiful name for a beautiful girl." He gestured at your Matthews Leafs home jersey. "Nice jersey, but I bet you'd look better in a Jets jersey." You laughed.

              "The day you convince me that the Jets are better than the Leafs, I will wear a Jets jersey. Until then, I'm going to keep rocking the leaf." Someone called out Patrik's name and he smiled at you once more. "Guess you gotta go."

              "Yeah. But you should visit Winnipeg sometime. At least give me a chance to convince you."

              "Maybe I will." You said with a wink. "Nice to meet you, Patrik. Good game tonight."

              "You too, (Y/N). Don't judge us by that game. We're better than that." He winked at you, making you shake your head at him as he jogged off.

              Of course you knew who he was. He was Patrik Laine, second overall pick of the 2016 draft by the Winnipeg Jets.

              Aka your older brother's "rival".

              "Hey" Auston said as he and Mitch left the locker room.

              "Finally" you said. "I was about ready to leave without you."

              "You wouldn't leave me would you (Y/N)? I mean... you love me!" You laughed as Mitch bat his eyes at you.

              "Oh yeah I would. You two bozos could call someone else to come get you." Auston laughed and threw an arm around your shoulders, leading you towards the car.

              "Thanks for waiting."

              "Next time" you said looking up at him. "We're taking different cars."

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              "Why are you going to Winnipeg again?" Auston asked.

              "I want to check out a college while I'm there."

              "But" Auston looked up from the video game he was playing. "You go to college here?"

              "Maybe I want to go to Winnipeg instead."

              "Huh" Auston shrugged. "There's nothing good in Winnipeg." You leaned over the back of the couch and punched his arm. "Ow! What the fuck?" he demanded.

              "Patrik Laine is in Winnipeg! And everyone knows he's better than you."

              "Oh ha ha" Auston said, throwing a pillow at you. "Very funny."

              "Seriously" you said plopping down on the couch next to him. "I'm just checking it out. Plus I'll be there to root you on. Your ego should be stoked about that."

              "Shut up" Auston said, nudging you with his elbow. You nudged him back before pulling your phone out and opening Instagram as soon as he was absorbed into the game again. You opened a DM and started one to Patrik.

              'Two days to convince me' you said. You weren't sure if Patrik would even read it or understand. It had been over a month since you had met him. The trip really wouldn't be a waste even if he didn't respond because you really DID want to check out the college and-

              Your phone buzzed in your hand.

              'When?'

              'Tomorrow afternoon'

              'Send me flight details' He added his phone number and you quickly pulled the info up sending it to him. Not even a minute later your phone buzzed. 'See you tomorrow. Be ready to wear the jersey'

              "You ok?" Auston asked. You looked at him and smiled.

              "Fine."

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Ok! So there you have part one! I don't know how many parts it will be. Let me know what you thought! Up next: Jakob Chychrun!

[ace--jace]

But don't just tease us like this! What's happening in your sims?

This ended up very long and im on mobile so no readmores oops!

Im basically just gonna copy paste what I messaged Cat the other day; Ive downloaded both the Pets and the Generations expansion packs because who doesnt want those packs?? So im having the time of my life, ok here goes~

-So I started out with AJ (me), my dog Hamlet, and my horse Keie; I'll start with the pets. Hamlet is amazing, and Keie was doing good at training for jumping and racing so I wanted to breed him so I bought Gatsby, a speckled grey, and they had a filly Seraf. Well at this point AJ had been collecting like 7 birds, three rodents, three reptiles, AND socializing with people; basically, she was stressed and decided to sell Gatsby and Seraf, Gatsby sold for 4k but I couldnt bring myself to part with Seraf just yet, so I got rid of the rodents, reptiles, and all but 3 birds. In total, the household was now: 3 birds, a dog, two horses, and AJ.

So while the animal drama was going on, AJ was attempting romance with various people cuz I want a lil baby ok? Mostly cuz there's new kid stuff in the expansion pack I downloaded; SO!! first dude she goes for isn't really her type, dont really get along, there's not a spark... and I got distracted by another more handsome dude, except this dude is married but idrc tbh I just want a baby, but he refuses my advances so FINE THEN actually good on you dude for being faithful but also HOW DARE YOU ahem....

Move on to guy #3, he's cute, he's a great kisser, we get along wonderfully~~~ who cares that he's got a gf, GIMME A BABY, except whenever we go to woohoo in the shower for some odd reason we argue??? Well come to find out that's a 'glitch' but before I knew that we'd basically gotten in so many arguments he refused to see me so my sink ends up breaking and I dont feel like fixing it so I call up a repairman and he walks in the door and immediately starts flirting with me so im like heck yeahh we'll show fucking idek his name BUT WE'LL SHOW HIM, ILL HAVE THE HANDYMAN'S BABY, plus we're both animal lovers and he's really charismatic and kind, so anyway I do a risky woohoo (from a mod) which has a 50/50 chance of getting you preggers, doesnt work, I think I tried twice with handyman cuz I remember once they did it in a pile of hay and once on the bed I think? NO BABY!!!!!!! Never saw the handyman again...........

Get back with the other dude, we end up spending a weekend at my ranch, risky woohooing all the damn time when I'm not running after the birds and horses, the dog is super self reliant he like dont care what im doing, AND SHE FINALLY IS PREGNANT!!!-

So, moving on from there we've had more updates!! Seraf's on fucking thin ice cuz she broke into my garden and trampled my one tomato plant, also she's just never happy???? So im considering selling her. AJ had a lovely baby boy, healthy and strong, named Lionel and she raises him up to a toddler without any help from his father Benjamin; she just wanted a baby to raise and take care of, but oh no what's this?????

Can it be???? Is she missing Benjamin???? Well that won't do so she brings toddler Lionel over to Benjamin's place where he lives with 3 other people, including his gf Hailey; so when they all come home, AJ does her damnedest to flirt and be as romantic with Benji as possible, in front of Hailey, to make her jealous

(Some bozo roommate mentioned being interested in pursuing a relationship, like, immediately and AJ was like dafuq is you I've got me a sexy baby daddy yo so that roommate hates me now)

Anywho, Hailey is an idiot and doesn't respond to AJ flirting with her bf and then they all get pissed cuz AJ starts making the bed like wow ok I know when im not welcome let's go Lionel

OHMYGOD and then!!!!! Benjamin came over for a visit and AJ left him in the house with the baby to go on a horse ride and well Benjamin's a fucking idiot; he left Lionel crying in his dirty highchair so I had to turn Keie around and go back home cuz Benji WAS PLAYING OUT ON THE WATER SLIDE the irresponsible idiot

Anywho, AJ still like him and she thinks they can work this out so Lionel has grown up into a young child and AJ has convinced Benjamin to break up with Hailey and Ive still gotta get rid of Seraf the Depressed Horse cuz I just cant handle her right now... Also, we've added a crow to our bird group