#tbh I really should start posting on my Ko-Fi as well

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

Thank you for the reading. I sometimes couldn't understand tho. The truth thing was a bit difficult to understand for me, but that's okay. Don't worry about it. I thank you for the reading and I'm so glad and happy you did it for me.

Mcme

Of course! Thank you for sending in the ask^_^ It was actually my first reading with multiple deities, so it taught me how to do that properly which is good because I just got my first request for a paid one with multiple deities.

Plus, as far as the bit I think you're talking about, that was near the end of the reading where I admit I was getting tired T-T I probably could have articulated it better, but I'd already spent more time on it than I normally do on free readings. (Which is absolutely no issue, that was my own choice because it was a multiple deity reading and I needed the practice! all of this is /positive)

[not-poignant]

Hi there! I absolutely love your works and, having followed you for a while now, I also really admire you as a person and an author in general. Every update on AO3 and Tumblr is always such a delight. I'm sorry if this ask is coming out of the blue or if it's something you've been asked before, but how did you take the plunge from writing predominantly fanfic to posting original fiction in serial form and also self-publishing novels? I'm currently in the process of drafting two original works after writing/posting fanfic regularly for years, and I'm just lost as to how to set everything up. I have a general idea (post chapter-by-chapter on AO3 and offer early access and some exclusive content on patreon or some other subscription service), but it all feels so daunting right now. Any bit of info or advice on how you got started would be immensely appreciated <3

Hi anon,

Tbh, I went from writing fanfic to original fiction because I had original characters in my fanfiction and readers asked me about them.

I had no kind of...dreams of being an original author in this way, I was published via other pathways already, and fanfiction was really an escape for me, a chance to break with all the conventions of standard writing and just do what I wanted.

But I needed a broader cast than what the movie gave me re: my first fanfics, and I added my own OCs, and left them in the background as much as possible, but even back while writing that fanfic, even the OCs were getting fanart. Sometimes readers would send me anons about them, or ask me more details about them.

Finally, I decided to write some hatesex between them, just something to kind of...idk get it out of my system? Answer what the readers were looking for?

The flow through therefore felt natural. Game Theory flows very naturally on from From the Darkness We Rise & Into Shadows We Fall. And from there, moving into other original works has been easy, in part, because I've often being doing alternate universes from a core of original characters.

If I want to introduce new original characters, I introduce them in stories where pre-existing original characters have already been established.

I didn't even start writing original works with a view to making money off that. In fact I thought it was a very foolish thing to do. A lot of people on AO3 don't want to read original works on AO3 and refuse to do it or only do it if it's PWP / pornography.

I started my Patreon account because readers asked me to. I got asks from very very generous people who wanted to know my Paypal, or asked if I'd start a Ko-Fi, and finally a few people just asked if I'd start a Patreon. I said I didn't think it was a good idea, and they said it was up to them if they wanted to pay me or not, but I should at least consider giving them the choice.

From there, I found it all very overwhelming. I made lots of mistakes. I had to go on hiatus for a year because I promised too much and couldn't deliver on many of those rewards. And for many years I only offered one early access chapter per week for one story, and my main stories were never early access (and still aren't, Underline the Black goes up for everyone at the same time - and while that may change in the future, it's definitely unconventional).

I've always been transparent with my readers that with very few exceptions, if they just wait, they eventually get everything for free. But if they want to support this kind of writing and/or enjoy it, and can comfortably afford to send some dollars my way, they can ensure that I can keep writing this way.

I have for a long time offered no exclusive content at all, I believe that can do well, but it's not my preferred way of doing things.

This career has been incredibly reader driven, anon. I would not personally attempt it cold, without a really fantastic readerbase who encouraged me every step of the way in the first place, because I am a cautious, insecure writer who doesn't like to take risks. So I can't give you advice on how to build this career without the support of the readers there in the first place, and I believe the only reason why I had their support was, in part, because of the actual strength of the writing itself. Which isn't to say it's the best, it's not, it's what I needed at the time and it's what a few other people needed, and that's basically how this works.

If you turn up with the writing, and the audience comes, and they want the story, you have the career.

In terms of practical advice - you can introduce original characters in fanfiction, just be aware that readers tend to be hostile by default if they pull any significant 'screen time' away from the fandom characters (and readers are extremely savvy to authors trying to build a financial business through AO3)

It IS daunting, but the good news is you can do a soft launch. You can open a Patreon or Ream account tomorrow and tell no one. You can mess with your graphics and your tier rewards to your heart's content when you don't have any subscribers. Build a buffer of early access/chapters, and make sure you don't overpromise on anything. Whatever you think you can realistically deliver to readers, cut it in half, because the stress of chapter update deadlines every month can really add up and it's a very different landscape to novel releases.

You can take your time, you can build interest slowly.

Remember you can never ever mention any kind of site where you're getting paid inadvertently, sneakily, or directly on AO3. You can't mention Ream, you can't mention Patreon, you can't mention Ko-Fi, you can't go 'learn more about my writing here' and link to those places. You can't mention buy links. You can only mention sites like Tumblr, Linktree, Twitter etc. Places where the point of sale isn't happening. Not doing so risks AO3's Not For Profit status and risks your entire account, and it's not worth it.

I did an interview with Subscriptions for Authors where I actually talk about many of these things so you can watch (or listen to) the podcast here if you're inclined! It also talks about the importance of community-building, gratitude to the readers, and generosity.

I am here because my readers wanted me to be. So I'm very concerned with making sure I can give them the best writing possible within my abilities. This makes me not very suited to offering 'how to start in this career' advice because it was a happy accident. It's hard to teach something I have never done your way myself, anon, because I worry I'd give bad advice. My writing had people turning up, but I'm not sure anything else I did, added much! I think responding to Tumblr asks and replying to every comment helped too! But...I don't know for sure.

But this career path does make me pretty well suited to offering 'how to keep this going' advice, because I've been doing this for ten years. <3333

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 160

Hello, I'm Tired, how are you? I hate January and February, the give me bouts of seasonal depression and that ruins my groove. I'll manage tho. Stay tuned for a sneak-peek for A Sign that you're important at the bottom of this post!

Current WIPs:

A Sign that you're important

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary: One month upon his assigment as Doctor Robotnik's assitant, Agent Stone is told to learn sign language. He doesn't know why, and isn't suicidal enough to ask, so he simply rolls with it. Turns out, it's not just a whimsy of the eccentric doctor, even though that doesn't stop the doctor from utilizing it like one.

Progress: Chapter 4 was posted on 11th of January. The fifth chapter will be posted on 18th of January aka the next Thursday. Chapter 5 is finished and ready to be posted. I'll need to do a chapter 6, cause Robotnik really, really wanted to wallow and be gay for Stone for a full chapter, mostly at the same time too. Unsure if chapter 6 will be full length or basically a half-length epilogue, we'll see.

-----

Life at the laboratory (I'm starting to not like this title, might change it)

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary:

"Wanted: a yesman who is capable of operating an espresso machine, has at least a higher IQ than your average amoeba, and is willing to put work before having a personal life, or indeed a life, period. The extra in your pathetic paycheck is good, but the strain in your psyche will make up for the positives. Forfeit your basic human rights and apply today if this sounds like you." 

Maybe it said something about Agent Stone - and probably not good things - that the poster in the cafeteria's pin board piqued his interest more than any of his official assignments had for a good long while. 

Dr. Robotnik, huh?

Progress: This one will be part one of a two-parter longfic, the first part probably... 10-ish chapters? It's a bit hard to estimate at this point, so the number is subject to change - will probably end up being increased tbh. My weekly writing hour (as in, a specific hour when I sit down and write, no excuses [other than not being home]) is devoted to this fic.

I have the first five chapters completely written. Chapter 6 has been started.

I also have two halfway written chapters that don't yet know their exact placement within the fic (they're scenes that will be slotted in to wherever they feel natural, once we get Stone settled in.)

-----  

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to Someday™:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Rolling with it (Zelda: BotW)

Hah, our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest! (Hazbin Hotel)

-----

That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s the promised sneak-peek into A Sign that you're important (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Turned out, even super advanced hearing aids didn’t take well to getting jostled around like maracas at the speed of sound by a hedgehog, getting blasted through an interdimensional portal they hadn’t been tested for, and crashing loudly and violently into Toadstool Tartarus. In fact, the left one went into tinnitus mode and the right one simply shut down completely. It made crawling out of a crashed aircraft much worse than it already would have been by default.

Once he was out and had enough distance to not get blown to smithereens or showered with shrapnel should his aircraft decide to explode, both hearing aids were promptly removed from his sore ears.

“This will put a damper on whatever plan I will begin hatching as soon as I get my bearings”, Doctor Robotnik said to himself, already hating the likely long lasting silence, especially when that included his own voice.

-----

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3   My FFnet   My Ko-fi    Radiohusk Discord Server

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

re: your tags on the post defending people being dramatique about reblogs; whoever ghosted you over that is a dick, but also there has GOT to be a happy medium between "fuck you if you don't reblog everything you feel positively about" and "fuck you for asking for reblogs" like omg, tumblrinas plz, i am begging for like half an ounce of nuance i know this is the internet but please for the love of the blorbos stop the madness *headdesk*

I mean, yeah, I don't actually think guilt/shame is a good motivation for engaging with fandom, for a lot of different reasons, and tbh the overall tone of the post I just reblogged is probably more abrasive or something than what I've reblogged before or said myself. I mostly just reblogged this one because apparently I can't get over how hurt I feel over the whole basically-being-ghosted-by-a-long-term-friend thing (especially given that it made me feel really insane in a specifically neurodivergent way, like, "either I have massively misinterpreted literally everything about this relationship for years because I fundamentally don't understand friendship or social interactions in general, or you didn't mean anything you said to me, or you changed the rules at some point and didn't tell me").

but it's also just...deeply frustrating that even the mildest posts saying "if you don't do some very basic things to support the fanworks you like, you will start seeing a lot less of those fanworks, because those creators will get discouraged and stop producing it" gets categorized as whining or guilt-tripping when it isn't, it's literally just describing cause and effect. there are other posts scolding fan creators for expressing that discouragement or asking for a little damn engagement because we just want to feel like we're part of a community, all of which just contributes to the atmosphere of discouragement.

and it feels increasingly bizarre to me the more time I spend on Instagram, following all kinds of artists and small businesses, all of whom talk a lot about how important engagement is to what they do and how much their work lives and dies by The Algorithm and how crucial it is for people to take a few seconds and boost stuff they like because otherwise it just gets lost to the void, and I don't see the same backlash there of "well you should just be satisfied with creating for yourself, you shouldn't worry about stats, stop whining for attention, stop guilt-tripping people," whatever. granted, it's a different matter when there's money involved, because with a small business whose only source of advertising is social media, we're talking about someone's actual livelihood, but there's a huge amount of crossover with literally any artist--fanartist or otherwise--given that loads of them do also have Patreons or Ko-fi links or shops with physical items, or maybe they don't start out that way but when they build an audience organically they're able to bring in some actual money. and I've definitely seen people who aren't primarily selling things, who really are just producing art as a hobby, but still ask people to share their stuff because it encourages them to make more, and that seems to be seen as perfectly legitimate, except on Tumblr and also Reddit. fanfic is a little different because it's inherently an extremely bad idea to monetize, so there isn't the angle of "of course you want to share this so your favorite writer can keep food on the table!" but it doesn't seem like a huge stretch to say it follows a similar principle, right? if you like it, it just makes sense to support it in some small way, because then you're more likely to keep getting it? and if you don't make any effort to support it, then you can't complain when you stop getting it? (making this very basic point got me downvoted on r/Fanfiction because of course it did.)

and, I don't know, I personally get really discouraged begging for reblogs, and it would feel a lot better if I didn't have to. not even just my own fic (although, yes, especially that), but original posts about helpful resources or awesome Kickstarters or fic recs or cool free games or "hey this artist is doing charity commissions, look at their awesome art, please reblog so they can raise money for this important cause" mostly just all kinda fall into the void. not that I'm at all unique in that respect, obviously; anyone who doesn't have a big audience deals with that frustration (while people who do have big audiences get to deal with different problems, as I understand it, although I certainly wouldn't know from experience). it just sucks, you know?

[holdontwstistakingovermymind]

MC's Neverending Sleep Overs

Hello I am back again. I decided to continue the little sleep over post. Make it big. This is like, before the relationship of Polyam!Mc. They aren't dating yet but it's flirtatious.

I hope you enjoyed! Idk how I feel about the flow, but I want to write a more platonic version and a more romantic version.

If you liked this and are able to, please consider contributing to my Ko-fi! No pressure though.

♡

In the beginning the dorm was a lot more empty than you felt comfortable with.

Yeah, sure, you liked your space. In fact, one could say you were ecstatic to learn you got to have your own space despite quite literally showing up out of no where. However, that's all you can actually keep up with in such a large dormitory.

Besides your room, the small bathroom you use, and the living area -all of which had seen better days- the rest of the house started off as a mystery to you. One you were a bit to scared to actually solve

(^This was mostly due to your fear of what you may find hidden behind the many doors of Ramshackle, as well as your desperate desire to avoid the ghosts at all costs.)

It didn't remain that way for very long though, as soon you were being joined by the first years of Heartslabyul, who were starting to be thrown out of their own dorm at an alarming rate.

Ace pretty much spent his first two weeks sleeping on the dorm's ratty old couch, sometimes having to fight Deuce for the position whenever the other began to rebel.

When Cater (or one of the Caters, you weren't ever too sure of who you were talking to at first) started showing up just to "check in" on the freshmen, you knew things had to change.

"Stop showing up at my dorm uninvited!"

No one actually acknowledges your rage, but you let it slide. There's a lot going on and honestly you're more concerned with learning potions then keeping Ace from stealing your good blankets.

And besides, with all the time you invested in making the tart for the dorm leader, be should be out of your hair soon enough, right?

That's what you were thinking, up until Riddle overblots.

In those moments you don't think you'll be making it back to the dorm period.

Fortunately you were wrong, but the event was so jarring that nightmare begin to haunt you everytime you drift off.

You quickly come to miss Ace and Deuce's presence.

And you learn quickly that they miss yours as well! Both for varying reasons, of course, but it quickly returns to that familiar state before Riddle's breakdown. One where you couldn't shake them even if you tried.

Cater comes by a lot more now too. At first he used to make up an excuse to stop by -then crash- but he gave up on that excuse rather quickly. He definitely sleeps in his dorm uniform half the time.

^Or at least, whatever he is wearing. Definitely the type to sleep in jeans whenever he's feeling too tired to get pajamas on

Trey visits with food (and Riddle, occasionally. He's still a little embarrassed about the whole rampage overblot thing) but doesn't find himself joining in the sleepover often.

When he does though he always makes everyone clean up their messes. What a king.

Jack is the next to join your merry band.

He doesn't often spend the night -only coming over when needed- and he's usually gone before you wake up.

He might be your favorite tbh.

(Around this time you also start to get the occasional visit from the tweels and Kalim. They never stay, but both parties are far too nosey to ignore such a large gathering)

It stays this way for a while whilst you attempt to sort out the whole issue with Leona.

Riddle only starts joining the crew after the whole savanaclaw incident.

This is mostly because his shame has kinda melted away since he's no longer the only one who has lost control. Also because Leona has no shame and immediately claims your couch afterwards. Rip.

From here it really just spirals.

The most common visitors are usually the first years.

Epel comes to escape Vil, Deuce and Ace have just decided your dorm is their home, and Jack tends to show up out of fear someone is going to do something stupid. He's usually right.

(Sebek is the odd man out here. He'll come over during the day but he's got a stick up his ass most the time.)

Rook and Vil do not sleep over. However, Rook will usually join in the morning to get (you) ready. Probably video chats with Vil the whole time. Epel is in hell.

Idia doesn't come over ever but Ortho does on occasion. You'd think people would be calmer with the android child around but for some reason that just creates more chaos.

Lilia has a habit of just sleeping places and it scares nearly everyone. Malleus finds it funny.

Crowley occasionally shows up to look for people because your dorm has become the Lost and Found for students.

Azul never comes into your room and has only stayed the the night maybe once or twice. Never at the same time as Leona though and he's usually incredibly nervous.

The tweels will come into your room and they will go through your stuff. They have no care whatsoever.

Everyone else is fairly respectful. But Pomefiore and Diasomnia are full of judgy brats that will subtly question your home. Thankv goodness most of them are not everyday visitors.

Jamil and Deuce seem like the type that will just start cleaning absentmindedly when they start to recognize some place as one they like to be in. Which you are incredibly thankful for. Deuce especially since he was not helpful at first.

Kalim always likes to try and make every night less of a sleep over and more of a slumber party. This is never good.

^ Reasons why: 1) Ruggie has been banned from playing Simon says because everytime he is Simon he makes people copy him, so that they lose. 2) Sebek always throws a hissy fit at the commotion whilst his emo dorm stands in the corner watching the chaos 3) Floyd has bitten someone during twister 4) MC has broken down crying at midnight multiple times because they just want to sleep and now the music club is doing karaoke.

But when everyone leaves for vacation, admittedly you do miss the chaos.

Oh well just gives Grim more room to bug you

[lilhawkeye3]

I don't know if they thought curly hair was too complicated to animate or something, but for some reason, ALL the clones in TCW have straight hair. It comes off as a simple stylistic choice with the standard crew cut, but then you have characters like Tup and Hunter. And since Trace Martez exists, we know they CAN texture curly hair now, and it doesn't look like it was all that complicated either. I guess in the case of Tup and Hunter we have to chalk it up to mutation in-universe.

Alright. Here’s an image of Trace and Rafa Martez.

I’m gonna say this kindly as a curly haired individual: I would not say Trace has textured curly hair in the show. She has a textured hairstyle meant to represent curls.

Rafa has some waves in her hair that do end in a little curl, and while in real life I would say she probably has one of the “B” classifications for curly hair and appears to have a stronger curl pattern than Temuera Morrison. That said, the animation is still fairly blocky and only represents her having curls.

This gif even shows it: Trace’s hair just... doesn’t move. It’s completely fixed. At least Rafa’s has a bit of sway and bounce at the bottom ringlet.

My honest opinion? The actual animation program itself is not designed to handle curls. What we see with both Martez ladies is that the CG part of their hair is very blocky, but the “texture” comes more from the hand-painted look.

This is something Filoni pushed from the start: CG animation was the new thing in 2005 and George Lucas wanted to use it for the show, but Filoni was a hand-drawing artist. He worked on Avatar the Last Airbender, for example. The way he could keep that feel with Clone Wars was to paint each “panel.” Thus, you had a merging of the two. Here’s a segment of a direct quote from Filoni, taken from this article.

“I wanted it to look like a painting— you see a textured, hand painted style on every character. I have texture artists who literally paint every character right down to their eyeball, because I wanted that human touch on everything.” -Dave Filoni

I actually looked into what program they used (at least for the earlier seasons). In 2008, it was produced by a company called Autodesk, and here is the announcement of them using the software. In the announcement, it mentions that one of Autodesk’s first (and main) developments is AutoCAD, and that their programs are meant to simulate real-world developments. Yeah... AutoCAD is an engineering/architechtural program. It’s very formulated and rigid because so are the materials it needs to simulate.

Here’s an example of a plant designed using a more recent version of AutoCAD (from the Autodesk website). Even with basic colors, it’s clear to see how its older versions would be best for a show full of armored troopers, ships, destroyers, walkers... pretty much every part of Star Wars except for the people, tbh.

The program, and thus any later ones developed off of it, was not equipped to program curly hair. It’s not in their coding.

The other problem is Lucasfilm was outsourcing the animating for most scenes to a team in Asia (as per the linked announcement). That’s not cheap. When you introduce a character like Tup, who is a smaller supporting character, it’s far easier to just use the already developed clone CG model and have his hair tied back so it lays flat. It’s logistically not worth figuring out curls for him.

Hell, look even at Anakin or Obi-Wan’s hair in the first seasons (just search gifs on tumblr tbh). It moves together in chunks, if at all. The last season does have more improvement, but by then 1) it’s ten years later, so animation programs have evolved significantly, and 2) they’re at Disney.

I may hate on Disney for a lot of things, but Disney and Pixar have pioneered so much for digital animation, including hair actually (i.e. Tangled & The Incredibles). And... it’s Disney. They’ve got some of the best technology out there, even if it’s just for a TV show. 

But, back to the clones. Take a look at any of the Sideshow collectible figures available for the clone troopers from the show. Even the short haired troopers have wavy definition to their hair, and for Tup it’s pretty clear he has a curl texture, just that it’s been tightly combed back into a bun.

To help, here’s a trio of images: the left is Temuera Morrison around when he was in Star Wars. The top right is the Showtime collectible of ARC Trooper Fives. The bottom right is Fives in the show. It’s clear they attempted Temuera’s curl texture on the figurine. If you look closely at Fives’ hair from the show still, it still attempts to show that but flat painted on the CG hair panel.

And here’s the clearest image I could find of Tup’s hair. Again, they tried to show his texture with the flat hand-painting.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ They tried. Kind of. It just doesn’t translate well.

So, to sum it all up: the clones don’t have pin-straight hair. The animation makes it look that way because it is limited in its coding. But for the more realistic versions of the troopers, they’re shown to have some hair texture.

I don’t think they were being purposefully ignorant or racist by keeping the clones’ hair straighter. The style of animation chosen really was just not equipped to handle any type of curly hair pattern.

[For those of you wondering why they chose it though, one of the main reasons for the style was because they wanted motion capture for battle scenes. And y’know... after seeing the Ahsoka vs Maul fight in the final season... yeah, valid decision on that end.]

That said, something that was within the animation team’s control that we should be angry about is how they lightened/whitewashed the clones and Boba Fett in the series.

But that’s some tea for another time... ☕️🦅

If you like my research essays, consider donating to my Ko-Fi (18+ art gift included as thanks EDIT: this post was made in Sept 2020 and the gift is no longer available). If you want to be tagged in future Tea Times, fill out this form here!

[intheticklecloset]

Can I ask how you do it?

Like, I have a tumblr (too shy to ask this on my actual account 🙈) and write for several fandoms and I post every day, but man it gets exhausting. How do you maintain your following? I’m scared the few hundred followers I have will leave if I don’t post for a while and take a break.

But at the same time, if I don’t take a break and do something besides write (which I do in every spare moment I have) I’ll either start to hate writing or go crazy, whichever comes first.

Cause my goal is to ultimately be like you, have a decent sized following, and be able to open a coffe or ko-fi and earn a few bucks on the side to fund my recreational stuff and fun things, while the money from my IRL job goes to necessities.

IDK what to do. I’d love to take a break this weekend but...I feel like either people will be mad, I’ll lose followers, and won’t gain any either. I tag the hell out of my posts but that doesn’t seem to do much good. *sigh* I’m sorry for bothering you with all this, I just, didn’t know who else to ask tbh.

— 🎒 Anon

Well, if I’m being honest, it seems that you and I actually have very different goals.

Having the following I do is awesome, and I’m honored, but I never set out to do that. I never set out to be able to make money from this and - as long as we’re being honest - I earn extremely little. Certainly not enough to live on. Just enough to help cover the cost of eating out now and then, if that. Having a BMC set up is cool for those very few who want to support me a little extra, but it definitely is not enough to live on.

As for the following thing, only you should be the one deciding how often you post and when you take breaks. To answer your initial question, I’m only barely doing it at this point. This pace is gruesome and I’m tired, but I genuinely love what I do here, so often that’s enough to keep me going. I will be taking a break once I’m through with this round of requests though, and if I lose followers for that, I’d rather they leave anyway. If someone has an issue with you taking time for yourself, they’re the problem. Not you.

If your goal is to gain a big following and earn money for what you do, that’s awesome! I just don’t think I’m the best role model for that. It may look like I’m doing really well, but I’m just as tired as you are. And BMC only makes a minor difference in my income. So please don’t think I’m making bank from this. I’m not.

At the end of the day, if you need a break, take one. Writing is great and I love it, but even I have to do other things now and then. And if you set this pace for yourself now while it’s still early, your followers will expect that from you all the time, and that’s going to be worse for you down the line. Trust me.

Do what is best for your personal well-being. I wish you the best of luck. 💖

[irwinkitten]

feisty | a.i | part two

notes: so this was deff requested after i posted feisty about 8 months ago lmao i got sent an anon who literally astounded me with their idea and so working off that, part two started to get created and honestly i love it so much. however, as i posted the other day, it reached 16k and i was like “this isn’t even halfway done i need to stop and reevaluate this” so i’ve decided it’s gonna be three parts with part three already started.  request: Hi I was thinking ab Feisty (I’m the one who requested a pt 2) but like I was really thinking about it and I absolutely adore the way Cassie was written. She’s strong, she’s powerful, and she knows what she wants. She never turned her back on the idea of a pack and being part of one even tho she’s human. I was wondering if maybe you could incorporate the idea of her having a wolf, but that wolf is locked inside of her, but it slowly makes it way out in different ways. Like the idea she’s a 1/?  Like one day she’s getting extremely riled up and all of a sudden only her eyes shift and everyone around her is like “um the FUCK Luna???” And no one knows how she was able to do that but then maybe she finds some sort of ancient script ab humans among werewolves and they’re actually extremely powerful and something to be feared bc they’re sent to guide the pack and all of a sudden it makes sense bc Roxanne and Trixie are both extremely smart and intelligent and the other humans within 2/? The pack that have come around during her time also have the same intelligence and wisdom that the wolves tend to overlook and it look Cassie for the packs to understand and appreciate their power and it’s like up to her to continue to push forward and make sure that all packs respect the humans as if they were a wolf themselves but inside the humans is a wolf more powerful that they’re in tune with which is why they are able to lead the pack and point out the flaws in plans and makes them so 3/? Valuable to the packs in different forms and she’s out here being bad fucking ass and she won’t take no for an answer and she just has all this power and she knows she might just be a human in many of the wolves eyes forever but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t go down trying to change that bc no one, I repeat no one, should disrespect her or the others like her bc they are not less than the wolves and idk that might not be the way you were thinking of taking it but it’s just what I imagine 4/? Bc I think it would be really cool to see the other wolves reactions to her having some sort of power within her that’s untapped, along w the other humans and the backlash and rebellion that could ensue. Like how are these ~humans~ so powerful they’re just that, filthy, disgusting humans and I think that would be a really cool spin on it but that’s just me lol. Tbh it’s time to go reread feisty again and just revel in how well written Cassie is and how much I am DYING for a part 2 5/5 ALSO sorry I was just thinking that you could make Roxanne’s mate someone powerful as well, showing that even those who are tortured are destined for greatness warnings: mentions of murder, death, word count: 14.2k lmao am i ever gonna write a small one shot that’s an oc? probably not.

part one

donate to my ko-fi here 

-

The low alarm that keened throughout the small town of werewolves, it was one of both comfort and panic. The panic was of those who had been living on the edge, scared to step from the packs boarders without a warrior or two within distance or sight. 

The comfort resided within the Alpha and Luna, both who had planned and expected this to happen. 

There was a traitor.

The pair peeled themselves away from the bed, both fully focused on the fact that what they had seen, what had been pointed out to them had come to fruition.

“Luna?” A soft voice came from one of the rooms below theirs as they reached the next floor below, both dressed in similar attire, yet the Alpha’s attire was less restrictive than the Luna’s.

“You were right Trixie.” The soft tone of reassurance did nothing to stop the teenagers lip from wobbling. 

“So many are going to be hurt.” She whispered dejectedly as the Luna opened her arms out to the young girl. She stepped forwards into the embrace.

“Come, the elders will insist you are awake.” 

Nothing was spoken as the young woman and her charge continued further down, heading into the office that was located on the ground floor.

“Luna Cassidy, it’s about time.” The scathing tone of the Elder of Vinewood Pack reached her, Cassidy Irwin drew herself to her full height, meeting the Elder with a hard glare.

“Trixie Teller is the one who foresaw this. Need I remind you that she is but a child in all of this? They may be rogues but they are waging war, Elder Greydown. The knowledge of such a thing being right is distressing for any wolf, let alone a human teenager.” She snapped in return. The Elder scowled but did not refute her argument.

“Elder Greydown, I do not want to remind you, yet again to respect my Luna.” Cassidy watched as the Elder bowed to her mate.

“My apologies, Alpha Ashton.” Cassidy ignored the slight against her and bundled the trembling teenager into the spot between herself and her mate. Ashton did not hesitate to let his arm wrap around the teenagers shoulders, and she leaned gratefully into her Alpha’s comfort.

“Beta Hemmings has made contact with the warriors on patrol. They know not to engage, and survey the attempted attack.”

“Who knew of the council meeting?” Another Elder spoke up. It took a second before Cassidy realised it was Elder Maybanks.

“None outside this circle were told. Not even young Trixie knew of this.” Eyes fell on the form of the still shaking human teenager whose eyes were heavy and her body exhausted.

The silence of the alarm was deafening and the howl that followed in its wake was pain filled.

“They found the traitor.” Trixie whispered. Cassidy wanted to shield her from the pain, the dull reminder of her loss of Talon still serving her as a constant reminder of the failure that haunted her dreams.

“Should the human even be here?” Elder Greydown spoke, his tone condescending.

“You are coming very close to insulting someone under my protection, Elder Greydown.” Cassidy snapped. She received a scoff in return and Elder Maybanks exploded.

“You teach our pups to be tolerant, yet you cannot be tolerant of the two humans who have served our pack faithfully! It begs the question, what kind of tolerance are you filling the pups heads with in the first place?” 

Ashton held back the growl of frustration. He knew the Elder’s struggling attitude with the changes that Vinewood Pack had undergone. 

“Now is not the time.” Cassidy spoke, her tone stern and unrelenting. Elder Greydown huffed, but did not argue with her. She shared a look with Ashton and Elder Maybanks. They knew that they would be asking Greydown to step down before the week was out.

A sharp hiss escaped from Trixie before it turned into a whimper. 

“He’s hurt. Abel is hurt.” She got out as Cassidy held her face, forcing the teenager to look at her.

“You are here and safe. Alpha Irwin is tracking each of the warriors.” She knew better than to make the promise that he would return safely.

“His brothers are with him. He’ll be healed before he gets home.” Ashton reassured the teenager who gave into the tears. Cassidy understood. She allowed the teenager to cling to her in comfort as Ashton moved to his desk, tapping away at the laptop.

“Rosewood has confirmed that it’s Leo.” Ashton muttered and she sighed as Trixie finally relaxed against her. She carefully lay her down on the couch, tucking the blanket around her.

“How bad?” Cassidy finally asked once the teenagers breathing evened out.

“Sixteen wolves were injured. Two are serious, but the pack doctor with them has reassured me that they’ll be okay eventually.” Ashton murmured and his gaze returned to the two Elders in the room.

“We will require you at the offices by noon.” Both of them bowed to Ashton. Elder Maybanks bowed to Cassidy, Elder Greydown did not.

“If he wasn’t an Elder, I’d have Calum break his neck.” She muttered darkly once Ashton nodded that the two Elders had indeed returned home.

“He’s going to be retired from his position. Are your new teachers ready to take over the position?” She sighed.

“I think so. But there’s still some animosity between Roxanne and Gwen.” Ashton sighed.

“Gwen believes that Roxanne is the reason for her Aunt and Uncles’ demise and her cousins restriction, doesn’t she?” Cassidy nodded.

“Gwen is still openly hostile with her, and as much as I have tried to ingrain that Roxanne was the victim, she will see nothing of it. Personally, I’m close to pulling Gwen off the course and moving her to something that isn’t so potentially volatile.” Ashton nodded at his mates words, allowing her to talk freely.

Ever since they had returned so many years ago from his first visit to her old pack, she’d planned with various teachers about teaching the pups to practice tolerance and acceptance of humans within the pack. It became more so when more humans had been born.

Only a handful, but Ashton could see that each of them were gifted. Born years apart, the youngest only being just shy of a year old, and the oldest at the age of six already, Ashton knew that changes needed to be made and fast. 

The human girl they had rescued so long ago, Roxanne Teller, had been a significant trigger for the changes. Cassidy was determined that no child should suffer the fate that she had suffered.

Just shy of her twenty first birthday, Roxanne had been determined to do her adoptive parents proud. And she had excelled with Cassidy as her mentor.

Her younger sister, Trixie, was in a league of her own. Freshly turned fifteen year old was an extrodinaire with technology. Ashton had been the one to encourage that. But when she had turned thirteen, she’d been gifted with prophetic visions.

The Moon Goddess, Selene had appeared to both Trixie, and the Irwins, to explain the prophetic nature of the teenagers dreams.

They were dreams that could not be altered by choices or decisions. They were outcomes that the fates had decided themselves. Cassidy, was rightfully angry with her Goddess for placing such a burden onto the shoulders of someone so young.

“They will be prophecies of the years you will experience and the years you will never see. They are to guide my children into the rightful acceptance that you have started.” 

Cassidy knew she could not remain angry with the fates if they had deemed Trixie their host to record prophecies for years to come. 

Many had complained of Ashton taking both girls under his wing, but at the Alpha’s conference, both Ashton and her previous Alpha, Isaac Lockard told them of the successes that Cassidy had. 

That was the day the first laws began to change. Abuse of a human born or mated into a pack would be met with penalties and jail time. Anything that could be seen as an attempted murder will be met with either exile or execution.

Alpha’s grumbled about that until Cassidy stood up on the podium, her eyes sharp as she snatched a dagger from one of the security wolves belts and sliced her hand open like she did to her own pack.

Alpha’s watched in fascinated horror as her blood trailed down her hand, dripping onto the stage. 

She’d forcefully pointed out that any attack on a human could be considered attempted murder because there was no accelerated healing. 

The High Council has been quick to distinguish parameters of what was considered abuse and what was considered an attack.

It wasn’t a lot, but it had been a start for Cassidy.

===

Both were used to sleepless nights, and this one was no different. Ashton had his werewolf stamina to keep him going, Cassidy relied on caffeine to keep her afloat.

When Trixie stirred, she jolted awake in shock, a short gasp of hair escaping as black curls seemed to fly everywhere, wild eyes searching the room.

“It happened.” It wasn’t a question but Ashton nodded anyway.

“We had some injuries, but they’ll make a recovery. We found the traitor.” 

The tone in Ashton’s voice had dropped from reassuring to deadly in seconds, and Trixie couldn’t help herself as she shuddered. Part of her was grateful to her Luna that she demanded Trixie be kept away from any kind of interrogation. 

She didn’t want to be on the end of Alpha Ashton’s tone.

The shrill ring of the phone made the teenager jump in fright and Cassidy smiled as Ashton answered the phone.

“Morning Isaac.” 

Something was spoken for a second as Ashton placed the phone handle face down before hitting the speakerphone button.

“You’re on speaker now, Isaac. Trixie is with us.” 

The other Alpha did not need to be told the warning in Ashton’s tone. Keep it teenager friendly.

“Leo was injured last night. Hope nailed him good, however he was rescued by a wolf waiting on standby. It looks like there are a few traitors from packs within their cause.” Cassidy sighed.

“We managed to catch ours, or at least the only one we hope we have. What about your side?” Cassidy finally asked.

“Dead.” Came the blunt response and Trixie gasped.

“Isaac.” Cassidy snapped back as she took a hold of Trixie’s hands. “There was nothing you could do for them, sweet girl.”

“My apologies Miss Teller. Unfortunately, there would’ve been no saving this wolf. The rogues had clawed into their very minds and warped their entire views.” Trixie finally nodded before a blush crept up her skin. 

“It’s forgiven, Alpha Isaac.” She finally got out and Ashton smiled at her reassuringly. “If I can be excused? I know that Rox wanted to meet for breakfast and she’ll crucify me if I’m late.” Ashton nodded.

The excuse was weak, but she was still too young in Ashton’s eyes.

Once the door had closed, Cassidy moved herself to Ashton’s lap, his arms winding around her waist.

“Who was it, Isaac?” 

“Gregory Sampson.” Cassidy closed her eyes at that, her heart sinking at the fact the sweet boy she knew had turned traitor. 

“Who discovered him?” She felt Ashton’s hand on her hip, his thumb rubbing slow circles into her skin. 

“Kallie Tyson.” Came the amused response and Cassidy snorted. 

“What tipped her off?” 

“She was there the day Leo was exiled. Apparently he hadn’t bothered to dampen his scent and she smelled him all over Sampson. She’s been wary of a lot of wolves after the whole debacle years ago. When she realised the scent, she went to patrol and alerted them.” Isaac explained and she sighed. 

“Was Sampson executed immediately?” Ashton’s tone was a lot more calmer than the harsh tones he’d spoken earlier. 

“No. We got him for all the information that he was worth. I know that another two packs caught traitors, not including yours. Cassidy I’d say collate with the other strategists. Get the information any way possible and work through it.” A low sigh escaped her lips and Isaac paused. “Cassie?” 

She tried not to groan, she knew that when her old Alpha called her Cassie, it was his way of checking in with her as her surrogate family member and not her old Alpha. 

Before she could speak up, Ashton cut her off, giving her an apologetic glance. 

“Elder Greydown has been testing her patience. He’s been the one who has been teaching other pack Elders for tolerance with humans. However he borderline disrespects Cass in front of other Elders and pack members.”

Cassidy found she couldn’t be angry with Ashton as she laid her head on his shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek to convey that she wasn’t mad at him. 

Isaac growled audibly. 

“I’m assuming that his position is about to become open to other Elders?” 

“Yes and no.” Cassidy answered calmly. “I’ve been training pack members to take over that role. However there’s been animosity between the two of them so I may ask for an outside Elder to come in and learn but then teach other packs.” 

“I’ll speak with Elder Orion. You know he forever asks after you.” Cassidy grinned. 

“That’s because I’m respectful to my elders, old timer.” She teased and Isaac barked out a laugh. 

“Alright trouble. Get in touch when you want to plan with the strategists. I’ll spread the word to the other packs.” 

“Appreciated Isaac.” Ashton muttered before the line went dead and Cassidy sighed. 

“How long do we have until we need to be at the offices?” This earned a tired groan from Ashton. 

“I don’t want to have to deal with Greydown’s disrespect. I’m hoping that the other Elders being there will reign him in but I’m not going to hold my breath. We need to start moving now if we want to get there on time.” 

Cassidy moves from her mates arms, but not before giving him a gentle kiss. He smiled in return before pushing himself up and the two headed to get changed from the black outfits they’d worn in preparation. 

Part of Cassidy was raging. Angry that rogues would make this attempt. Another part of her was filled with sorrow, knowing full well that there would be packs that would collapse from that kind of onslaught. 

By the time the two had reached the offices, her mind was whirling. She greeted the Elders that were gathered, unsurprised at the lack of respect from Greydown. 

It hit her. 

She kept her body relaxed, refusing to give away her realisation. She knew that the moment he was discovered, it would either cause more problems or give them their solutions. 

Taking Ashton’s hand in hers was always normal. Absentmindedly, she began to trace letters into his palm, making out soft patterns at each space so the game wouldn’t be given away. 

The Elders knew she was very touchy with her mate for good reason. They eventually got used to their Luna’s quirks, barely concealed amusement on their lips at the resigned look on their Alpha’s face when she threw herself into the architectural planning of new homes. 

Ashton understood her message, immediately switching to plan B. They’d concocted this plan when lay together, her mind frazzled with worry of a traitor being someone so close to them they’d never suspect it. 

“Greydown.” 

“Yes Alpha?”

“Tell me Greydown, why do you respect me but not my mate? And if you utter a word about her humanity, I’m sure she will take gleeful pleasure in throwing you from the window.” Ashton’s casual comment was met with a look of fear. 

He pinned the older man down with a dead stare, the mirth gone from his face. 

“She doesn’t know how to run a pack. And as your Luna, she still falls under your command yet flounces it regardless.” Both Irwins could see the hesitation. His words were just another dig at her humanity without outright saying the words. 

“Tell me Elder Greydown, I have ever disrespected your authority?” Cassidy started. Ashton leaned back with a smirk. 

“No, Luna.” 

“Have I ever been found lacking with my leadership, especially when I was appointed the Head of the strategists?” His smirk grew wider. Greydown became slightly flustered, his cheeks dark as he avoided looking at her. 

“No Luna.” 

“Look at me.” Her voice rang with the authority she held as the Alpha’s mate and Greydown’s head snapped up, staring at her in shock and awe. 

“Why do you believe that my humanity is a problem then? Everyone knows a wolf's mate is their ultimate weakness. Why is my humanity a deciding factor in that too? Or do you just hate humans on principle?” Greydown kept his lips pressed shut. “Answer me, Elder Greydown.” Her voice rang with the authority once more and he found himself unable to keep his mouth closed much longer. 

“They’re a disease that needs to be taken under control. We’ve had six runts born since you arrived and clearly it’s knowledge of a disease to spread to packs, to ruin the hierarchy.” 

Ashton’s smirk had fallen from his lips, standing from his chair as he stalked forward, closing the distance between the two. 

Cassidy didn’t even try to stop her mate. She’d learned fast he was a possessive mate at the best of times but anyone disrespecting her? 

She could only hope for Greydown that Ashton was in a kind mood. 

“Watch how you speak about my mate, Greydown.” The growl was low, a warning. 

Greydown scoffed in return. 

“I will speak of the human how I want. She wants to believe she’s Luna so badly.” 

The room froze at the Elders words, Ashton glancing back to his mate who had closed her eyes in rage and frustration. 

She paid no mind to the others as she rose from her seat, her eyes snapping open and glaring at Elder Greydown. She didn’t miss how his eyes widened and his cheeks drained of their colour. 

“You have no right to speak to me like that. Let alone the other humans in this pack who will outsmart you six ways to Sunday. You’re relieved of your duties of teaching tolerance. Tell me, would Leo Lockard treat this failure with the retribution he tried to give to me?” 

The shock turned to horror. He attempted to move but found himself being pinned down. 

“Sit still.” Cassidy snapped, her anger flooding dangerously. Greydown froze and didn’t move. 

“Get him out of here.” Ashton snapped to the two guards that had restrained Greydown. His attention turned to Cassidy. 

“Love, you need to calm down.”

“Why?” Ashton didn’t respond to her, merely pulling her to the mirror that sat in the office. 

She stared at herself in shock, fingers reaching up to touch her skin, her eyes focused on the amber coloured eyes that stared back in shock. 

Her gaze met Ashton’s as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“We can ask around other Elders. They’ll have something we can work on, with what’s going on.” Cassidy found her voice lost as she looked back to the mirror, watching as the amber coloured eyes faded, leaving her bright green eyes confused and tired.

===

It’d been days since Greydown had been exposed as a traitor to the pack. Ashton had kept the techniques used quiet, but he relayed all the information that Greydown had given them. 

Part of Cassidy was screaming at her, telling her that something was off with the information.

“Ashton, I’m not saying that I don’t believe you-” The gentle smile from her mate as he cut her off relaxed her tense shoulders.

“-but it feels like something is wrong. I know sweetheart. But we’ve tried every tactic.” Ashton climbed into bed with her, her body automatically pressing against his as they fell into their positions easily. 

Sometimes Cassidy marvelled at the bond. Their first year together was almost purely physical, like they were trying to reconnect their souls. And she’d guessed that in a sense they were. But the smallest thing would set Ashton off, and vice versa. 

They learned what buttons could be pressed and what they needed to avoid. And after the first year, it calmed down so fast part of her wondered if it had just been a bizarre yet realistic dream. 

When it had come to nights, they could share the night easily, no hastily ripped off clothes or pushing their delights into the early hours of the morning. Some days Cassidy just enjoyed being held by her mate, and others she enjoyed the way he ravished her until the early break of dawn. 

Tonight was a night where she was content to lay in his arms, fingers trailing up and down her skin.

“Would you be willing to let me try?” Her question made him tense, but she was surprised he didn’t outright reject the idea immediately. This caused her to turn her head towards her mate who was wearing a contemplative look on his face.

“That wouldn’t be a bad idea. He wouldn’t expect you.” 

“And we can see if what happened the other day happens again. It looked like he couldn’t even fight my orders, although he must’ve tried.” Cassidy’s tone was convincing, hardly daring to believe that her mate was even considering this. 

“It’s one way of looking at it. But also, if he’s the only traitor to the pack, he’s the only one that knows about your eyes and the slight change. It means we have an avenue to look into that people may underestimate you for.” She could see that his mind was disappearing down various ideas. So she reached up and kissed him softly.

“We’ll keep considering my handsome mate. But both of us need rest, especially if I get to do this tomorrow.” The tease was delicate but Ashton could only grin. 

“As you wish, my love.” 

The following morning, Trixie was waiting for the couple at the breakfast bar. The majority of wolves that lived in the main pack house had either gone to school or work, or they’d be returning home from their shifts in the next few hours.

“Alpha.” Ashton took in Trixie’s exhausted state, her hands trembling but the determination set on her face intrigued him.

“Yes Miss Teller?” 

She’s following formalities, Cassidy mused as she remained at Ashton’s side.

“Selene came to me last night. She has instructed me to oversee the next three days.” Immediately Ashton tensed and Cassidy wondered if he was going to change his mind about her dealing with the traitor.

Then it dawned on her that the techniques he’d most probably used wouldn’t be good for a fifteen year old human to see.

“What were her exact words, Miss Teller?” Ashton’s response was calm, but Cassidy knew her mate better.

“Tell your Alpha that the next three days are crucial for you. A prophecy will be in play that you do not understand, but must follow through.” Ashton hummed as he took in her exhausted appearance.

“What happened in the dream, Trix?” Her body seemed to sag at the use of her name as tears flooded her face.

“It was Roxanne.” Dread filled Cassidy’s stomach.

“She was h-hurt so badly. But no one cared about her!” Ashton was quicker than Cassidy as he soothed the distressed teenager. “S-she was dying, in the middle of a road. They hurt her so much. Tied her to a kennel and left her in the wilderness.” Cassidy froze. 

“Sweetheart, what else happened?” 

“She was crying for our Luna, but they laughed. They-they-” She was sobbing into Ashton’s chest now, her words cut off from her sobbing but when the two mates shared a look, they knew exactly what she had seen.

Her nightmare had been a mixture of what had actually happened to her older sister with her own nightmare of Cassidy never answering the call she’d made as a child. Cassidy left her mate to comfort Trixie as she called Roxanne.

“Luna?” Her voice was groggy and tired.

After the prophetic dreams began, Rae Teller had requested that Trixie remain in the pack house, knowing that the urgency and frequency of these dreams would be too much for the teenager. It’d distressed both the sisters and parents when the move first happened and Trixie was struggling, feeling like her parents were rejecting her.

However Rae called her every night for a month and visited as often as her new job would allow. She’d rediscovered her talent in peacekeeping, and often went on envoys with her husband to attempt to settle various conflicts. 

Trixie then understood the need of her job and was the first to convince her parents to make the first trip when she was fourteen. Roxanne had already moved out of the pack house by that point but the sisters would meet for lunch before their respective school hours and work hours and almost always shared dinners together.

“You’re needed at the pack house today.” She responded softly.

“Is Trixie-”

“Your sister is fine. I’ll explain when you get here.” Cassidy cut her off calmly, knowing that she needed to be the voice of reason at this point.

Roxanne hated her past, she never opened up about it to anyone apart from the therapist that Ashton had convinced her to see not long before her eighteenth birthday. She’d resisted till she broke down in front of her Alpha. That was her turning point.

She’d never talked about the details to her parents, but they knew she’d been abused. However it had been some kind of unanimous agreement that Trixie would never learn of the horrors Roxanne suffered.

Their Goddess had taken the decision from their hands and shown her in her dreams in the worst way possible.

When Roxanne arrived, her hair dishevelled and clothes seemingly the first things she could pull on-sweatpants and a tank top-Cassidy intercepted her at the door.

“I need to tell you so it doesn’t shock you. Our Goddess came to Trixie last night.” Immediately Roxanne was wary, her dirty blonde hair falling in front of her eyes as she pulled it into a loose bun.

“Luna, what did she show her?” 

“There’s something that’s going to happen today, I’m going to see the traitor we caught,” Roxanne’s eyes widened, “she was told she needed to be with me as it happened. However, the Goddess emphasised her point by showing you.” 

“Me?”

“Specifically, what happened to you before I found you.” Cassidy watched as Roxanne took a step back, her face filled with shock followed by anger. Then resignment.

“It scared her, didn’t it?”

“She’s clinging to my mate sobbing her heart out, distressed because she saw you getting hurt. Apparently you called out for me and I never came.” That in itself was distressing for Cassidy, to turn her back on someone in need.

Roxanne didn’t hesitate to hug her Luna tightly.

“You came for me regardless. And you came for her too.” Cassidy felt slightly guilty, her own distress at the words eating her up. But Roxanne didn’t relent as she pulled away and looked towards the kitchen.

Cassidy needed no further encouragement as she led Roxanne to the kitchen to find that Ashton had sat on the bar stool, Trixie was sat cradled in his lap like a child. His voice was soothing, the sobbing having receded to gentle hiccups of noises as his fingers worked through her dishevelled jet black curls. 

All Cassidy could think at that moment was how good a father he would be when they were ready.

“Trix?” Roxanne’s voice was hesitant and Cassidy watched as the younger sister scrambled off Ashton’s lap, launching at her sister, the tears still streaming down her face.

“Alpha told me that it was real. Please, please tell me he’s lying.” Cassidy could feel the tears prick the corner of her eyes. Roxanne’s were falling down her cheek.

“Alpha wasn’t lying, baby. Before Luna saved me, those nasty people who had me, hurt me in the worst ways. But then Luna rescued me, and brought me to you, where momma was the first wolf to show an ounce of love towards me.” 

“R-rox.” the younger Teller’s voice trembled as she gasped her sisters name, but Roxanne shushed her, soothing her back curls with her hands as she pulled away to look her sister in the eyes.

“Then you came in, sat atop our Alpha’s shoulders and asked me to be your sister, that your warrior would protect us both and we’d have big brothers who are teddy bears.” Cassidy pressed her lips to stop the giggle at the description of Josh and Jacob. 

The twins had lived up to that description, both of them forming solid friendships with the girls as they got older. No other wolf dared to insult the girls, knowing that it would get back to the warriors and they’d be facing a pissed off Alpha.

“I was reborn that day because of you, Trixie. You, momma and pops gave me a new life that I wanted. Whatever our Goddess showed you was probably true, I was treated with cruelty and hatred. But I found love in abundance with you.” 

It wasn’t much longer till Trixie had calmed down enough to let her sister go, only to return to her Alpha and accept the hug that he offered her.

“I’m assuming our Goddess showed you that to show what could most likely happen. She’s done it before so we’ll follow her guidance for now. But any signal that you want out, just show and we’ll get you out of there, okay?” Trixie nodded against his shoulder before he moved and began to make breakfast.

Roxanne sat down, throwing a cheeky smirk to her Alpha.

“It’s not often you get an Alpha making breakfast for you Trix. Maybe I need to come by more often.” 

“You can make your own breakfast, ratbag.”

“Hey, I came over here at your mates request! I was lying in the most comfortable bed at the time.” Roxanne whined in return, earning a laugh from Ashton.

“I doubt your mate would appreciate you calling him a bed.” Roxanne snorted.

“He makes the bed worth the comfort, but he doesn’t match the comfort of that bed and he knows it.” Ashton laughed, Trixie’s own soft giggles joining in and Cassidy smiled as she realised their ploy. 

To make the teenager giggle. 

When they reached the pack offices, Trixie was a lot more relaxed. Roxanne had foregone this trip, not entirely comfortable with the idea of watching an interrogation.

Ashton didn’t begrudge her this, instead asked her to coordinate with the other Elder’s with Elder Maybanks. The Elder never questioned the change, knowing that the disrespect would never have gone unpunished in Ashton’s eyes.

Cassidy felt her nerves, knowing that pack eyes were on her whether they’d announced this or not. People looked to how she dealt with situations and this was another one.

Calum greeted them with ease, pulling Trixie into a bear hug which made her giggle. 

“Everything okay little bird?” His voice was quiet and she nodded her head, glancing at Ashton. He nodded it in return. 

“Selene came to me last night.” Calum raised a curious eyebrow at that. 

“She decided to show her something that involved her sister.” Cassidy’s voice was tight and Calum gave her a confused look before she shook her head subtly. 

He took the indication and moved the subject forward. 

“So that was what drew my mate from me first thing? Sounds fair. Didn’t think I’d see you here though, little bird.” The statement wasn’t laid with curiosity as the group finally moved, Trixie pulling away to move back to Cassidy’s side. 

“I was told to be here.” Was the only reply she could give. Ashton smiled at her before motioning to his Head Warrior to hold fire. 

Calum fell silent as they made their way through the offices, his stern glare making wolves pause in their approach. 

Abel held no such qualms when he realised who was with his Alpha. 

“You’re safe.” Trixie breathes before rushing to meet him, her arms going around his neck as she held him tightly. 

“I’m sorry. Jacob got to me quick enough so it’s only desk duty for a few days rather than weeks.” He murmured in return and she simply held him a little bit tighter. 

Cassidy watched with relief as he comforted her and she shared a small smile with both Ashton and Calum. 

Abel had been invaluable to the Tellers. After his discovery that Trixie was his mate, he made every effort to help them get Roxanne settled into what should’ve been a life that she should’ve experienced growing up. 

Trixie was kept in the dark about her mate until she moved into the pack house and finally understood that loving her best friend the way she did was okay because he was hers. 

When Ashton offered to allow Abel to stay in the pack house she shook her head almost immediately; to Ashton’s confusion and Cassidy’s amusement. 

“I-I don’t want that with him. Not yet.” Her voice was timid and Cassidy understood. 

Ashton wasn’t quite so understanding. 

“But he’s your mate?” Cassidy took pity on her own mate. 

“She’s not ready to explore that side of their relationship. He’s her best friend and she’s comfortable enough to admit that she loves him but this is new territory for her. Not to mention, I doubt she wants anything untoward happening under her Alpha’s roof.” Cassidy’s explanation had sent Trixie red as a tomato, her eyes unable to meet her Alpha or Luna’s gazes.

But she nodded.

Then the light-bulb clicked for Ashton and he pressed his lips to hold back a laugh. He knew that laughing at the young human would distress her. 

“Don’t be ashamed of your choice, Trixie. You know Abel will wait for you.” Ashton finally managed without choking on the words. 

She’d fled soon after and then Ashton had laughed at the fact that she was so mortified. 

But in that moment, the way her hands fluttered around his face-her eyes and hands searching for any visible injuries-it was painfully obvious how much she cared for him. 

“Abel, with us if you will?” Ashton instructed as the group began to move once more. Trixie was torn between her Luna and her mate and Cassidy simply came up to her other side so that she was sandwiched between them. 

Two more wolves followed behind whilst Ashton and Calum took the lead. 

The group remained silent until they reached the elevator, only daring to talk as they passed underground level. 

“Why is Trixie here, Alpha?” Abel finally asked and Cassidy just nodded at Ashton’s brief glance. 

“She’s here because we found the traitor. Elder Greydown. We’ve tried to get all the information, however we’re not sure to trust it so religiously. So my mate is going to take a crack at him. According to Selene, Trixie must be with her.” Abel felt his stomach jolt as they reached the lowest level. 

Cassidy took pity on the warrior wolf, his eyes darting to an oblivious Trixie. 

“She was shown what happened to her sister.” Calum blanched at that, his sharp gaze meeting Cassidy’s. 

“She didn’t.” He barely got out, his eyes flickering to Trixie who had seemed to hunch in on herself once she’d registered the conversation. 

The group reached the first offices available to them which in turn gave Calum a second to pull his own composure as he sat down with Trixie. 

“Have you spoken to Rox since the dream, little bird?” She nodded her head. “Do you understand what happened in the dream?” 

She hesitated. 

“I understand some of it. But not all of it.” She whispered and Calum wiped his hand down his face, a slow breath escaping him. 

“Calum, I do not need her distressed before the interview.” Ashton warned and Cassidy sighed. 

“She needs to understand it. As much as I hate the fact that Selene took the decision from all of us, she needs to understand the actions of those wolves and the consequences that followed.” Ashton frowned at his mate but did not contradict her as Calum leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting on his knees as his chin rested on his clasped hands. 

“Tell me what the Goddess showed you, little bird.” 

She described the dream in horrific detail, registering every mark and cut that had covered her sister's body in the dream. 

Abel had fallen into his stoic face, Cassidy belatedly realising he was there that day to see the aftermath. 

Calum was patient and wiped the tears that appeared on Trixie’s face as she described how both girls had been calling out for their Luna, but she never came. 

“I’m so sorry you had to witness that, little bird.” Calum murmured and she took in a shaky breath at his words. 

“Why did she show me that?” She finally whispered, the tears still in her eyes. Glancing to his Alpha, Calum rubbed his face with his hands before pulling away, a sigh escaping his lips. 

“Our goddess is showing you that we’re on the right path. That had Alpha Lockard not cared for our Luna like he did, she would’ve died. That the packs would’ve potentially fallen to rouges if this continues.” Cassidy felt her stomach twist as Ashton’s arm wrapped around her possessively. 

She couldn’t even find it in her to tell him to leave her be, because she knew on some level that hearing your mate might never have survived was difficult to hear. 

“Humans are at the centre of this. There’s something in play that we don’t know about yet, but Greydown knows something.” Ashton finally murmured and Calum nodded his head as they finally stood and made their way to the interrogation rooms. 

“If you need out, hit the door once. Twice if you need help.” Ashton murmured to Cassidy. She took a moment to see that he was genuinely worried, his eyes anxious and she placed her hand on his cheek, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“We’ll be cautious.” She murmured, knowing it was entirely pointless but she needed him to know that the thought was there. 

Greydown openly smirked when they both entered the room, his arms bound behind his back, legs shackled to the chair he was sitting on. 

“The big bad Alpha decided to send the humans? Ha. That boy was never an alpha. He wanted to so desperately believe but letting humans do a wolf's work? Pathetic.” Cassidy kept silent, her eyebrow lifting up being the only indication that she was listening. 

This unnerved Greydown as Trixie followed her Luna’s example and kept her face impassive. 

‘Don’t say a word. He’ll crumble.’ A voice whispered to the young human. She gave no indication, no acknowledgement. Simply stared at Greydown. 

“Humans have been a bane to all the packs, to the lives we lead. Why should they be the ones who don’t have to hide?” 

Silence was his only answer once more. 

“Infections. The old prophets believed humans to be some kind of saviours of the packs. You’re nothing but thorns in our sides.” Cassidy moved. 

“You believed words of a prophet?” Her tone was empty, and Greydown sneered. 

“They were heralded as truth for centuries. But no humans were born to packs until now. Their words are nought but lies and desperation.” Trixie hid her smirk. 

“Why were they lies and desperation?” Cassidy kept her tone impassive once more and Greydown scoffed before spitting at her. Trixie stiffened, the disrespect sending something akin to fury down her spine. 

“The human born to wolves of lore, will hold the knowledge of Alphas unsure. To train and love and win the days, the wolves must seek their human mates. The one who shows the righteous path, will guide the Alpha to their new start. The prophet, the hurt, the broken and bent, will bring new times of peace and death. The dead reborn shall hold the keys, to start anew with the springtime breeze. The lonely wolf with no chance to escape, shall tear one from life to meet their fate. The humans born to wolves of lore, will lead the packs to glory and more.” The words were intoned, emotionless as another scoff followed. 

Cassidy shared a look with Trixie. 

“You will tell me how much Leo knows of this.” There was a firm edge to her voice and Trixie witnessed her Luna’s eyes flash amber. 

“Leo knows nothing of the prophecy. He refused to believe in something that would, in his eyes, be wrong.” Greydown responded before his eyes widened and his lips clamped shut. 

“Tell me what you know of what is happening to me.” Trixie felt a tingle run down her spine. Something in her was begging to submit to her Luna. Something she’d never felt before. 

Greydown’s lips parted despite his obvious attempts to keep them shut. 

“There were prophecies, that depicted the human born to wolves would possess the wolf. The human would have control of the wolf inside but there would be no change, no transformation. It would mark the start of an era that would either succeed or collapse. The prophet never said.” 

Greydown’s words were forced, reluctant. But Cassidy paid him no mind as she turned her attention to Trixie. 

Cassidy watched as Trixie stiffened, her eyes rolling back into her head as she let out a harsh breath. Her first instinct was to reach out but Greydown twitched and she froze. 

“The traitors are gone, the cause is done but the wolf that roams alone will continue. The wolf that was denied will fight and the wolf that has sprung forth will thrive. The traitors are gone and the cause is done.” 

Greydown stared at Trixie in shock as her head tilted forward, her eyes refocusing before her knees gave out. 

The door burst open, Calum and Ashton storming in. Calum went to Trixie, scooping up the teenager with ease whilst Ashton wasted no time in knocking Greydown out before his attention returned to Cassidy. 

“It’s answered a lot of questions. We’ll need to go to the Elders to learn more about this prophecy.” She nodded, but her focus was on Trixie who had taken in a startled breath. 

“I’ve got you little bird. Abel is waiting for you.” Calum’s voice was gentle as they reached the meeting room they were previously in and Abel wasted no time in getting to his feet, cradling his mate so gently as she trembled. 

“That was scary.” She finally whispered, her eyes finding her Luna who was pressed against her mate, relaxing to his touch as his fingers massaged her temples. 

“It means you’re a strong prophet little bird. And we need to talk to the elders sooner rather than later.” Calum piped up and Cassidy sighed. 

“There’s a lot we need to discuss with them. And maybe we can get this worked out before Leo decides to try his hand at another ambush.” Cassidy muttered as she sent Trixie a reassuring smile, leaning into Ashton’s touch. 

===

When the Elders met, Cassidy brightened upon seeing Elder Orion. And despite her ingrained sense of respect, the second he opened his arms in greeting, she allowed the comfort of her previous elder wash over her. 

“You truly have thrived, Luna. Your father and old Alpha pass on their wishes.” She found herself smiling at him before greeting the other elders. 

“Luna Cassidy, what happened after we dispersed?” Elder Maybanks went straight to it once they were sat down. She sat protectively next to Trixie, her mate on the other side. 

Abel realised there was more to the situation and remained silent as he comforted his mate, knowing she needed that more than anything. 

“A lot of things have happened, Elder Maybanks. Our Alpha has been interrogating the traitor, when Selene came to young Trixie once more. She was shown what happened to her sister upon a decision that was made to use the new skills I’ve acquired,” she hesitated but Elder Maybanks nodded, “he told us about the prophecies.” 

Elder Orion's gaze sharpened at her words and Elder Maybanks sighed. 

“What else happened, Child?” Cassidy found herself hesitating, glancing at Trixie. The young girl took in a deep breath, her shoulders determined, but her hands trembled. 

“I gave a prophecy.” 

The Elders froze. 

“Are you sure?” Elder Maybanks words were sharp, a steely glint in his eyes. 

“I saw it with my own eyes, as did Head Warrior Hood. She’s a true prophet and a strong one.” Ashton cut in before Cassidy could snap. She bristled at the silent accusations of deceit from the Elder but Ashton had stopped her from putting her foot in it. 

The worried looks shared between the Elders caused the Alpha and Luna to exchange worried looks. If this was concerning the Elders, what was happening? 

“This changes a lot of things.” Elder Orion muttered as he leaned back in his chair. “Luna Cassidy, do you remember what I taught you about prophets?” 

Cassidy could feel every set of eyes on her, and she determinedly ignored the look of shock from Elder Maybanks as she tried to remember what Elder Orion was discussing.

“I remember when you taught me about the witch trials, how packs were found by hunters who were seeking out witches and razed towns to the ground, no man, woman or child surviving. You mentioned something about prophets being saved by other packs but I don’t remember much else.” He nodded his head, turning to the other wolves in the room.

“Whilst Cassidy was growing up, Alpha Lockard assumed that she may have been a prophet. Not to say that she wasn’t extremely clever in her own right, but she seemed to predict the wrong moves that were made. We later realised that she had a strategic mind, a mind that calculated every potential move. There’s not been a prophet within the packs since the 1700’s. After the witch trials, they simply vanished.” Elder Orion explained.

This caused an alarm for Trixie, her grip on her mates hand getting tighter.

Elder Orion noticed immediately and smiled kindly to the distressed teenager.

“It is simply believed that prophets moved packs and never spoke about their gifts. We have always watched out for potential prophets in the more recent years, but in my own living history, I’ve never seen or heard of a prophet until you, Miss Teller.” This did little to soothe her, but Cassidy placed her arm around Trixie in comfort.

“Why is any of this important?” Calum finally asked, his eyes flickering between his mates little sister and Elder Orion.

“Because if Selene has truly gifted her as a true prophet, it will change the tide with the rogues. But also she will be sought out by many other packs, determined to bind her to their pack with a mate of their choice.” 

Those very words were the wrong ones to say. 

Abel growled lowly, the noise startling Trixie as his own body seemed to fight the transformation, amber coloured eyes glowing.

Cassidy felt her stomach swoop before Ashton stepped in.

“Abel, if you shift, you will hurt her. I’m ordering you to calm down.” The power of the command was heavy, his eyes falling shut as he went to move his arms around Trixie, but he froze.

Without any prompting, the teenager moved so that she was sitting on his lap, allowing him to pull her closer, his face pressing into her hair as he took in slow, steady breaths.

“I think that answers that.” Ashton muttered and Cassidy just felt the absurdity of the comment hit her, a giggle breaking through her lips before she was laughing, her head resting on Ashton’s shoulder.

“I think Luna has lost the plot.” A soft whisper came from beside her and she found herself struggling for air as she shook her head.

“I haven’t lost the plot. Just my mates comment, and the whole absurd idea that Abel would even let anyone near Trixie if she were in danger.” The teenager understood her Luna's words immediately and the two shared grins.

Ashton merely rolled his eyes at his own mate fondly, a soft smile on his lips before his attention turned back to the elders. 

“Is there anything we can do for now?” 

Elder Orion shook his head.

“The best thing we can do is protect her secret. Greydown will have to die regardless of his knowledge. He heard her prophecy.” This sobered the room up immediately, Trixie’s smile fading as she realised the implications.

“Is that because of me?” The question was timid and Elder Orion paused, his gaze turning to Cassidy and Ashton who turned their attention to the timid teenager.

“He was a traitor to the pack regardless of him hearing your prophecy. Traitors to the pack have two options. Exile or death. Greydown knows too much to be allowed exile.” Ashton explained softly and she sighed, a small nod following seconds later.

“I understand.” Cassidy could see that she did understand, and grimaced slightly, but there was nothing she could do.

“We also need to discuss what happened to Cass. Her eyes turned amber when she interrogated Greydown when she realised he was the traitor. Do you have any ideas?” 

The two Elders shared a look before Maybanks spoke up this time.

“There is something, Greydown wasn’t wrong when he said that Elder’s across the globe believed that prophecy to ring true. We need to get full facts from some contacts. When we know more, we’ll sit down with you, if that’s okay Luna?” 

Cassidy nodded her head.

“That works for me Elder Maybanks. It’ll give us a chance to deal with the consequences of today before we look into my own changes.” The two Elders nodded before the group dispersed and they went back to the main offices.

“Abel, finish up today and then take the next couple of days off. It’ll help your healing so long as you do nothing strenuous, so no weights and no shifting.” Calum finally muttered and Trixie stared at him in shock before turning to her mate.

Abel seemed to break into relief, his lips curving into a gentle smile. He knew a gift was being given to him at this moment and he decided to take it.

“Thank you Warrior Hood. I’ll be sure all paperwork is done and then take my leave.” He pressed a kiss to Trixie’s temple before making his way back to the small cubicle that was his whilst the rest of the group headed out of the pack offices.

“I’ll take Trixie back home.” Casidy hummed and Ashton nodded, his lips meeting hers in a short, sweet kiss.

“I’ll handle the problem. If there are any issues, I’ll call. Drive safe.” And with those words, they disappeared back into the pack offices and her gut knew what was going to happen. But she ignored those thoughts. Greydown was beyond saving, so it would be a mercy. 

The ride back home was silent.

When they returned home, Trixie disappeared into her room, causing Cassidy to sigh before she made her way to her office.

It was one thing she was insistent on when her move to the pack became permanent. 

She knew that Ashton had nothing to hide from her, and he knew that she had nothing to hide from him. However they both realised that being up in each others space wasn’t going to help either of them. 

So she convinced Michael to stay on as strategist, however he then convinced the Elder’s to make her appointment not only official, but put her up there with the other Alpha’s. Within three years of moving to Vinewood, she was appointed the Head Strategist for all of the continents packs. 

She accepted the title with grace in public, but within the confines of Ashton’s office, she voiced her ways of brutally murdering Michael as payback for putting this on her shoulders.

However, she shone as she went from strength to strength and that was when both her and Ashton decided to install an office for her and her alone. It meant that any confidential information would remain as so, but also it gave her the space that was not only hers, but also showed her hard work and the results of that hard work.

Once ensconced within her office, she contacted the other packs that had been attacked, gathering the information about the traitors and anything they had in common. That was what they needed to discover before Leo twisted his claws into more wolves. 

It was easy to work in the silence, tapping away at her computer as she emailed back and forth with a few of the other pack strategists. 

It was only when a gentle knock on her door made her pause, tearing her eyes away from the computer.

“Come in.” 

There was a second of hesitation before the door opened to reveal a red eyed Trixie Teller and she felt her heart going out to the teenager.

“Sit down sweetheart.” Her tone was reassuring and gentle, coaxing the young girl to try to relax.

Once the door was shut and Trixie was seated, Cassidy studied her for a moment before she resumed typing away, knowing that the young girl would speak when she was ready.

She’d been dealt with a lot of knowledge, some of that being the death of a pack member because they heard her prophecy. It was a lot for anyone to take in, let alone a teenager.

The silence seemed to stretch on for longer than Cassidy had expected, but she’d glanced over a few times to make sure she was still there. 

She was, but her eyes were glued to the floor, not even glancing up.

So Cassidy stopped, switching off her monitor and resting her hands on her desk.

“Talk to me sweetheart.” And finally, Trixie looked up, a frown upon her features.

“Today has been a lot.” The statement was simple, but it spoke volumes for Cassidy.

“It has. What do you want to talk about first?” 

“Elder Greydown, well I guess he isn’t an elder anymore, but still. Why would Alpha kill him instead of exiling him? Even if he didn’t know of the prophecy?” The question was a good one, and Cassidy had been expecting it.

“You see, Greydown had continually disrespected me as Luna since day one. This has been six years of abuse that’s been building up. However, he committed treason against the pack. He willingly put young wolves in danger because he believed us to be diseased.” 

She watched as Trixie’s face dropped.

“You wanted to redeem him, didn’t you?” The question wasn’t accusatory, and one look upon Cassidy’s face helped Trixie understand that. So she nodded.

“I didn’t want to think he was that bad that he deserved death over exile.” She finally whispered and Cassidy sighed once she realised that they’d stumbled onto the crux of the matter.

“It’s nice to try and see the best in people, trust me I did that for years. It was how I met my best friend. But sometimes, people just don’t have any good qualities in them. Greydown was one of those wolves who refused to see silver linings. He did not teach tolerance to the pack pups like he was meant to, he could have knowingly sabotaged that ambush that resulted in Abel getting hurt.” 

She hated using Trixie’s mate as a point, but she needed the teenager to know that he’d arranged for it to happen in such a way. Mates were sacred, and had he succeeded in killing Abel, she would’ve been a shell of a person, either choosing to live like her sister had done and pray for a second chance mate, or follow after him.

And Cassidy was certain that she would’ve chosen to follow after him.

“He’s the reason why Abel got hurt?” There was a steely glint in her eyes, her jaw clenching and Cassidy hesitantly nodded her head.

“Ashton uncovered his treachery. It’s another reason why exile was not possible. He actively worked against the pack that nearly resulted in a death. The last time that happened in any pack and they chose exile, it led to the rogue issue that we have currently.” 

“Leo?” Cassidy nodded. “What happened?” 

And so the two sat there as Cassidy told her stories of her best friend, of how he had put faith in her plans but Leo-the jealous son of the Alpha who favored her-sabotaged her plans, therefore worked against the pack that resulted in Talon’s death.

Trixie remained stunned as she heard this tale for the first time, her unease slowly slipping away as she found herself engrossed in the story that her Luna was telling her.

By the time that Ashton had returned home, both girls had migrated down to the kitchen, choosing to cook a small meal together as Cassidy told Trixie tales of her childhood. 

And despite how the day had gone, the heaviness that weighed on his chest, seeing the two of them giggling together over something that his mate had done when she was a child, it lifted Ashton’s soul from the floor back to the heavens where she’d first lifted it when he met her.

Trixie greeted her Alpha with ease, despite knowing what he had done, she realised that this was simply consequences of an action that nearly killed her mate. 

“Alpha. Did you get a chance to eat today?” Cassidy smirked at the jet black haired teenager, Ashton shaking his head at his apparent new keeper.

“Not today little miss. There was plenty of deskwork with the field work that we had today, so not much was consumed food wise. I’ve certainly had my fair share of caffeine though.

This made Cassidy giggle.

“My mate seems to drink coffee like it’s water.” The look of disgust that Trixie gave her Alpha made Ashton smirk.

“When you have to patrol so many nights in a row whilst still remaining upright in the middle of the day, coffee would be your best friend too. I know that Calum is just as addicted and drives your sister up the wall with it.” His arms wrapped around Cassidy as he pressed a kiss to her cheek in greeting. 

Trixie snorted.

“Yeah well, she likes the stuff too. It’s no surprise that they’re mates really.” Ashton laughed at her statement and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t let her catch you saying that otherwise she might skin you alive.” He teased her playfully as she finished up the meal, elbowing his stomach as she moved to get some dishes.

This was what Cassidy loved. It was simplicity at its finest but also it was Ashton teaching Trixie to stand up for herself. If she could stand up for herself against her Alpha, then the world had no chance.

“Yeah well, she’d skin you alive first so I’ll just hide with my Luna under the nice, new, wolf skin rug that we’d end up acquiring thanks to my sister.” This set Cassidy off as they finally sat down to eat and she noticed that the dark cloud that hung over her mate had slowly disappeared.

“Brave words, tiny one. How about you and me do some training this week?” Her eyes lit up as a grin stretched across her face.

“Absolutely. Do you think we could include Abel this time so that he knows that I can protect myself? I know he’s my mate and he’s always going to worry, but I just want him to worry less.” She explained in a rush, Ashton nodding to her request.

“It shouldn’t be too difficult. But we’ll get Cass involved so she can sit on him to stop him from shifting and protecting you from me. Sound fair?” She nodded at his words as they dug into the meal and a feeling of peace settled over the trio.

Cassidy knew better than to think that this would last, but she was going to enjoy it whilst she could.

===

The first training session had been a disaster. 

Abel hadn’t known what to expect, and watching his Alpha phase and launch at his mate was not on his list. Cassidy hasn’t had a chance to stop him before he shifted and crouched in front of Trixie. 

It took Abel more time to come down from that bout of anger, but they left the session at that and Abel had kept his silence. 

The next session was better. He was able to stop his initial reaction, especially after a firm talking to from his Luna, he watched. 

And even though her techniques needed refining, he could see how she handled herself. That was when he began to understand why she wanted him to see her train. 

Cassidy stepped in from time to time as well, showing the teenager some of her own moves. Ashton stepped back when this happened and Abel began to understand why his Alpha only had mild concerns for his mates safety. 

She was a badass.

By the end of the session, Abel was relaxed in the knowledge that should anything happen, she could take care of herself. 

“Why not make something like this mandatory for all of the humans in the pack, Luna?” Abel questioned as the quartet headed inside. They would grab some food before the two males would head back out to the pack office buildings.

“Because they’re children. They rely on adults to protect them.” 

“And Trixie doesn’t?” Cassidy smiled at him.

“No. I don’t think she’s really relied on anyone since that day six years ago. It may seem simple to you Abel, but human children are so fragile compared to a young wolf. We’ve got a couple of the older ones in a self defence class, anymore at this point would be too much. When they hit thirteen, they’ll come to me and I’ll start teaching them then.” 

“Two styles to switch it up, then?” And Trixie grumbled as Cassidy grinned.

“Someone in the pack who uses their brains.” This earned her a confused look and Trixie sighed.

“Luna had to practically spell it out to us why we were in self defence classes as well as training with her.” The way her cheeks turned pink had Abel grinning as he squeezed her hand gently.

“I have a step up since I’m one of the warriors. I can guarantee you other wolves would not think of it that way.” Ashton glanced at his watch and sighed.

“Practice with Cass, T-bird.” The teenager grimaced at the nickname as she ducked from the hair ruffle that her alpha bestowed on her as he walked past to kiss his mate.

Her own mate laughed before doing the same thing and kissing her forehead before he got up and headed out, Ashton following seconds later. Trixie hid her face in her arms, her hair a mess thanks to the two men.

“Stupid Alpha and stupid mate messing up my hair.” The grumble had been loud enough for Cassidy to hear, earning a round of laughter.

“C’mon, I’ve still got some time before I’m expecting a call. How about we take a look at your English papers.” The groan that followed from Trixie made Cass laugh as she all but frog marched the teenager upstairs to her office

Barely fifteen minutes in and her phone goes off, earning a curious look from Trixie as Cassidy picked up the call.

“Luna Irwin of the Vinewood pack. Who am I speaking with?” 

“Cassie, thank god.” The relief in Issac’s tone caught her off guard.

“Two seconds.” She tilted the mouthpiece away as she looked to Trixie. “Would you mind finishing off downstairs? I’ll join you when I’m off.” The teenager didn’t argue as she gathered her things and shut the door behind her as she left.

“Cassie it’s been mayhem.” 

“Issac slow down please, what’s happened?” 

“There’s another traitor in the pack. But they killed a human child.” Her heart stopped at his words.

“Who?” 

“That’s just it. We don’t know. I was sent an email, and god Cassie it’s gruesome. I thought it was a wolf at first because the kids' eyes were amber, but when we checked the registry and the young boy that was murdered was definitely human.”

“Fuck.” The whisper might as well have been a scream. “It’s been happening to me, the amber eyes thing. The Elders believe it’s a prophecy in play. Fuck.”

“I’ll forward it to you, but it’s brutal.” And with that, she opened up her computer, clicking through until the video uploaded to her screen.

And as she watched, she felt sick. Tears burned her eyes as she tried not to cry out, but when the final blow was delivered, she couldn’t stop herself.

Issac had stayed on the line for her, his steady breathing being the only thing that stopped the panic attack overwhelming her.

“I need to contact Ash, fuck, Issac this is big. The Elders are going to get involved.” Her brain was going miles a minute. “Have you found the little boy yet?” 

“There’s a team working on it now. We’ve already been in touch with their parents. It was Demela’s and Mason’s youngest lad. Joseph.” And she felt her body lurch uncomfortably. 

“Issac.” His name came out as a sob.

“I know.” He soothed. 

Joseph had been one of the four children born into her old pack after she left. He came from a family with six older brothers who doted on him regardless of his status as a human. The first time she’d visited and she’d been introduced to the family, she’d clicked instantly. It had also been the first time that she’d really considered having a child. 

“I need Ash. He needs to know.” Part of her felt disengaged and heartbroken, the other part of her was planning out how she’d skin the traitor for this.

“With the state of distress, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on his way.” 

Issac’s words rang true when there was a firm knock at the door before it opened.

“Cass? Baby?” His frantic eyes searched for whatever was causing her this kind of pain. But she couldn’t get her words to work, only pointing at the video that was still open on her computer.

Issac spoke up.

“It’s something you need to watch, Alpha Irwin.” 

Ashton realised immediately that if something could make his mate this distressed, then it was a bad thing.

And so he clicked play.

Cassidy tried to block out the noise, the images. But she couldn’t. Her heart broke all over again. But she could feel her mates anger through the bond. Anger that was mounting into fury and she grasped his bicep.

“We can’t leave this. We need to find the traitor.” Her words were quiet but determined. Ashton nodded once, his jaw set.

“We’re flying out to you, Issac. Expect us by nightfall with the Elders.” The decision was firm and Cassidy immediately moved and headed to their room to pack a few bags. 

“Trixie will need to come with us.” Ashton’s words made her jump in fright, her hands trembling as she continued to fold the clothes up before packing them.

“She cannot see that video. And so help me goddess if Selene decides to take that decision from our hands because I will march up to her fucking door and demand judgement.” Her tone was harsh, but Ashton could hear her fear, her pain under the words. “He was a child.”

And her composure slipped into tears, Ashton pulling his mate closer as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

“We’ll explain in basic terms to Trixie. We will warn her that should Selene take the choice out of our hands, it is gruesome. I need to call an emergency meeting. We need to get a warning to the families as well.” Ashton rattled off and Cassidy took in a deep breath.

“Calum, Luke and Michael need to see this. They need to prepare.” Ashton nodded at her words as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Finish packing, I’ll go talk to Trixie.” She didn’t argue as he left the room. She knew that there was no way that she’d have been able to even describe what happened.

By the time that the trio had packed and gotten to the offices, Ashton instructed Trixie to stay with Abel until they left. He didn’t miss the frown, but Cassidy simply gave her a reassuring smile.

“Protocols need to be followed, Trix. Twenty minutes tops and then we’re heading for the airport.” Trixie nodded at Cassidy’s words and turned her attention to her mate, the two of them quietly discussing her latest pet project with an old computer.

When the Irwin’s reached the conference room, she fought down the need to be sick as Ashton played the video for the other three as well as the remaining Elders. Their reactions were ones of horror, but it was Elder Orion who had tears down his cheeks.

“Little Joseph, Demela and Mason’s youngest, correct?” He whispered and Cassidy nodded as she tried to wipe her tears away once more.

“Issac is searching for-for the place. He’s contacted the family. This was a brutal attack but it also means that there are potential traitors we don’t know about. Sleeper cells, if you will.” Calum nodded at her terminology.

“We’ll talk to the other families which have human children and see if we can convince them to the pack house. It’ll be easier to defend rather than trying to split our forces seven ways to protect the land.” Ashton nodded at Calum’s immediate response.

“Every wolf we have available has to be on this. Four teams on rotation for the pack house and double the patrol on the borders. No one gets in or out of the pack lands. Trespassers are to be captured and interrogated immediately, any violence is to be met with full force.” Calum nodded at his Alpha’s orders. 

“Michael.” Cassidy’s voice was softer, but caught the blonde’s attention.

“Yes Luna?”

“I’m going to be coordinating with other packs on this. See if there have been any-any other murders.” She stumbled over the words and he nodded his head in understanding. “Also I’m going to place you in as my second in command. If any other strategists get in touch, they’ll be redirected to you. As of right now, I will be uncontactable until further notice.” 

“Has it been approved?” His eyes glanced to Elder Maybanks who nodded in return.

“We cleared it last week. It was intended to be a surprise for you, but as you can see that’s had to change immediately.” Cassidy held back a snort.

“Luke, it’s basic day to day running as possible.If anyone asks, there’s been a credible threat with another pack that needs to be dealt with. Shutdown pack lines until we return home.” Luke nodded at that before Ashton returned his attention to Calum.

“Trixie will be coming with us. She’s already told her sister she has to go but not why. You need to make sure she doesn’t follow us. It’s going to be tough enough with the devastation from my Luna.” Calum nodded once more as he let out a breath of air. 

Ashton and Cassidy were gone once it was confirmed that everything had been set in place.

They collected Trixie from Abel who looked unsure and the trio were up in the air quick enough. It wasn’t unusual for packs to have access to small airports, most preferred to travel by car or by shifting. But this wasn’t an option and it was the fastest way for them to get there without causing widespread panic. 

Matthew was there to greet them and didn’t hesitate to pull his daughter into a warm hug as Ashton helped Trixie off the plane. 

He greeted her with the same amount of ease and Ashton a firm handshake before they were bundled into the car and off again. 

“Who else knows?” Ashton’s question was quiet but Matthew shook his head. 

“The trees have ears.” Was all he replied with, causing Ashton and Cassidy to exchange alarmed looks. Nothing else was spoken about as they made their journey to the pack offices. It spoke volumes of the tragedy that had happened because there was no one else greeting them when they arrived.

They entered the building without being looked at twice. Cassidy stopped herself from going over to Demela and Mason when she spotted them. The couple looked exhausted and their children looked equally tired. 

When they reached Issac’s office, Trixie had shrunk into Cassidy’s side, the intimidating and unfamiliar wolves unnerving her. Cassidy was briefly reminded of Hope as her dad knocked on the door before letting them into the office.

“Cassie.” Her eyes snapped to her younger sister who looked relieved to see her. She wasted no time in moving around the desk and launching at her older sister.

“Alpha Irwin, thank you for coming at such short notice.” Issac’s voice was tired and Ashton waved him off.

“You do the same for us, Issac. This young lady here is Trixie Teller.” Ashton gestured to Trixie who found herself feeling like a deer caught in headlights.

“Miss Teller, I’m so pleased to be finally meeting you, I just wish it was under better circumstances.” She gave him a wry smile in return.

“Likewise, Alpha Lockard.” 

“Looks like humans can be taught manners, brat.” Issac’s voice carried to Cassidy, Trixie shooting a confused look to her Alpha who simply shook his head when Cassidy laughed.

“Oh no. With her own Alpha, she’s worse than what I was. With her sister, they tease him relentlessly.” She fired back before letting the girl go.

“Trix, this is my sister Hope. Long story short, she’s next for the Alpha title.” Trixie nodded as she shook hands with Hope.

“It’s nice to meet you Hope, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Hope gave her a crooked smirk.

“All lies, I assure you.” And Trixie giggled.

The giggle broke some of the tension and Issac’s shoulders slumped as he ran a hand down his face. 

Cassidy truly saw her previous Alpha in that moment, the tired lines around his eyes. 

“How’s Pandora?” Cassidy’s question brought a smile to his face. 

“Good. Little Jessie is driving her mother mad.” This made Cassidy laugh. A few years after she’d left the pack, Issac had announced his mates pregnancy with sheer glee and she loved getting updates from him about the rascal. 

“At least Pandora knows how to handle rambunctious pups with no sense of self-preservation.” Issac chuckled as he rummaged through papers before handing them over to Ashton. 

“I understand the need to keep Miss Teller protected but does she need to be here for this?” Trixie remained silent, only casting a glancing look to her Alpha. 

“She’s a true prophet.” Issac’s jaw fell slack, a gasp of air escaping from Matthew. Hope held a look of polite confusion. 

“ Touched by the goddess herself.” Matthew whispered and Trixie shifted uncomfortably under the stares. 

“Pack it in. She’s frightened enough and doesn’t need you two confusing her.” Cassidy snapped at them both and the two men exchanged looks. 

“Cassie, you remember when we thought you were a prophet but instead you were scarily smart?” Matthew tried to keep his awe from his voice but didn’t quite succeed. 

“I only know what you told me. I don’t remember much else.” At this, Matthew sighed before sitting down. Issac pressed his lips together. 

“Do you want me to tell her?” Matthew shook his head. 

“Tell me what?” The hesitation was in Cassidy’s voice as she looked between her dad and old Alpha with  uncertainty. 

“Parts of your memories don’t remember it because the Elders locked it away. When you were seven, you’d been stolen from under our noses.” 

Her body went still. 

“We believe that it’s linked with this killing. There’s no recognisable scent and it was a child who was not only human but one we’d been watching for prophetic tendencies.” 

“You’re not telling me everything.” She could see the tears in her dad's eyes and then she slowly realised. 

“No.” The word was a whisper but Matthew flinched. 

She could never remember her mother’s death. She was told that it was a sudden death, that there was no notable cause for it. She’d been seven at the time because her eighth birthday had been the first one without her mother. Jamie had been three. 

“They killed her in retaliation to us rescuing you.” She could feel her heart shatter. It was too much and with the situation going on, she couldn’t take off like she wanted to. 

“I need to go.” She was up and out of the room, the tears running down her face as she took off for her old home, using one of the pack cars they’d arrived in. 

Ashton didn’t even have a chance to try and stop her, the sudden heartbreak catching him off guard mixed with the overwhelmed feeling. 

“I take it that the Elders locking the memory away was for her benefit?” Ashton couldn’t be angry. He understood to an extent that to watch a child suffer like so was difficult. 

He watched as tears rolled down his father-in-law’s face. 

“She awoke every night screaming. There were days when she would fight to get out of the house, her trauma so much that she couldn’t tell that I was her own father.” Matthew sounded so broken, Issac’s hand coming to rest on his Beta’s shoulders. 

“Alpha?” Trixie’s voice was nervous and Ashton turned to the teenager and noted the pale pallor her skin took. 

“Trixie? Are you okay?” The second he said that, her body slumped into the chair and Ashton swore. 

“This is too fucking much Selene.” He snarled, scooping the teenager up, cradling her carefully. Hope looked stunned for a second. 

“Selene?” In truth, although Ashton had known she was there, she’d kept herself quiet enough to have become background noise, something he wouldn’t have noticed had she not spoken up. 

“Young Trixie usually has prophetic dreams, only once has she gone into a trance. But with the prophetic dreams, if she is awake at an inconvenient time, she will suffer in such a way until she passes out. Cassidy believes this to be because she is young and therefore is not trained to handle the drastic changes.” 

“Your mate may be onto something there, Ashton.” Issac finally hummed. 

The young human twitched and the colour began to return to her cheeks and Ashton sighed. 

“You love her like your own, don’t you?” Matthew murmured, his face clear of tears but his eyes rimmed red. Ashton nodded. 

“She has kind and loving parents who love her and her sister. It’s not a parental kind of love, more like I see her as a younger sister, someone to protect. It’s the same with her older sister. The only instinct that is stronger is my bond to Cass.” Hope giggled. 

The giggle once more eased the tensions that had been building up and he felt the heartbreak ease in his chest. She was somewhere safe. 

“And what’s so funny little miss?” Matthew teases his youngest child, unable to stop the smile at her cheeky grin. 

“Sounds to me that Alpha Irwin got bitten by the same thing that had Cassie practically adopt me so many years ago. The only thing that was stronger than the bond she has with me was the one that Leo created. It’s why when the bond was broken, my bond with her was what eased it and helped me function.” Hope explained gently and Ashton understood. 

His awe for his sister-in-law increased tenfold and she found herself blushing at his impressed look. 

Matthew finally chuckled. 

“Somehow we thought she was just an anomaly, however the fates certainly matched you two well, Ashton.” And Ashton grinned. 

Trixie finally stirred and her cheeks went dark as she pressed her face into Ashton’s shoulder. 

“It happened again didn’t it?” 

“Unfortunately so, my favourite human.” At the muffled curse, Ashton laughed. 

“Selene really picks her moments.” She finally pulled away and retook her seat, eyes locking onto Hope. 

“When Luna returns tomorrow, you and her will need to head to the next city over, without guards shadowing you. One to drive and one as a backup but they stay in the car. A rogue is unsure and has the information we need. Selene wishes for him to be tried under pack law and for Luna to use her gift on him to get the truth.” Ashton knew better than to voice the outrage but he tampered it down to a raised eyebrow. 

Issac and Matthew however, disagreed entirely, voicing their displeasure. 

“Hope that’s an ambush at best, suicide trip at worst!” Issac snapped and Trixie turned her gaze to the other Alpha. Ashton recognises the look immediately and turned his attention to the other three. 

“You will listen to my avatar on this earth Issac James. The rogue is unsure about the goals of the rebellion and is pulling away. Cassidy Helen will set things right for another pack and give Hope Rose a second chance.” 

Both Issac and Matthew froze. 

“Selene.” They whispered in unison. Hope was speechless. 

Ashton tried not to smirk as Trixie returned her attention to Ashton. 

“I will visit Cassidy Helen tonight. Do not panic if you feel your bond fall dormant. I’m most proud of you Ashton Fletcher.” He simply inclined his head before he watched Trixie give a little shake before meeting her Alpha’s amused gaze. 

“At least it wasn’t in front of a prisoner this time?” She offered timidly and Ashton burst out into baritone laughter. 

“Life will never be dull with you and your sister around, Trixie. Issac, Hope, Matthew, we will see ourselves down to the canteen for some food and let you digest this information. As you realise, this cannot be known by anyone, not even Jamie until Selene deems it safe. Like you said, the trees have ears.” 

Issac could only nod weakly before Ashton escorted Trixie down to the lower floors where the canteen was situated and they got themselves some food. 

Trixie remained by his side, unwilling to stray towards the unfamiliar stares. She felt like she was under such scrutiny but once those eyes turned to the man next to her, their gazes dropped and they never cast a look in her direction. 

Confused, Trixie turned to Ashton to question the strange behaviour but then she saw the murderous look upon her Alpha’s face and understood why they averted their gazes so fast. 

Unsure how the other wolves would take her teasing her Alpha, she kept herself formal. 

“Alpha, will Luna be okay?” Ashton glanced at the teenager and noted her shy hesitance. He smiled kindly at her as they collected food. She didn’t protest when he paid for it. 

“This was just a step too far. She needs to process that before she’ll come back. She’ll always come back to us, but much like when you hide away after it’s been an overwhelming day, it’s been an overwhelming week for her. We just need to give her space.” Understanding dawned as they sat down and ate silently, listening to the steady flow around them. 

It was towards the end of their lunch that Hope appeared, paying no mind to the small bows from her pack. Trixie frowned. 

“May I join you?” Hope’s question was met with a nod from Ashton but the frown on Trixies face didn’t let up. 

As Hope sat down, she finally caught the look on the teenagers face and raised an eyebrow. 

“Everything okay Miss Teller?” The use of her last name startled her and a blush coated her cheeks but she remained silent. Hope wasn’t too sure how to take this and Ashton snorted. 

“She takes offence to ignoring your pack when they acknowledge you. It’s not something I like to practice unless I’m in an emergency.” Ashton explained softly, and Hope had the decency to look ashamed. 

“It’s still something I can never believe. Alpha Issac is still working on that with me.” Trixie nodded but remained silent as she took another bite of food, clearing the plate.

Ashton had pushed his plates to the side long ago but waited for the teenager, knowing her discomfort.

“Would you like to see her training? Your sister has been training her so far and it’d be nice to get an outsiders opinion of her progress who knows where she should ideally be.” Trixie grinned and Hope returned it with a smile of her own. 

“I would be delighted Alpha Irwin. Miss Teller, if you would follow me?” And the trio left without another word between them, the stares of the pack members following them out of the doors. 

-

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[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 2x17 Chapter Thirty-Nine

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Honestly, I’d like to see more of this Jane…

2) I truly hope NOTHING goes as Jane wants it to go…

3) Okay, it’s definitely going to be a disaster. Lina and Xiomara are planning a real bachelorette party.

4) I really don’t get why Rogelio’s former step-daughters are a thing in this show? Other than the show trying to use these girls’ popularity as Youtubers? I don’t see the point in them showing up with their own “storylines” and I hope they stop showing up soon.

5) Rogelio is throwing Michael’s bachelor party and I’m here for it.

6) So… Jane, self-proclaimed writer, can’t write her own wedding vows? That doesn’t bode well, I think.

7) This is not how I remember Don Quixote…

All jokes aside, you must be a moron to send a stripper to a person’s workplace? How didn’t they think they would get Jane in trouble or potentially fired?

8) So… Petra is taking medication for post-partum depression but she also seems to be considering skedaddling…

9) Who TF are all these people?

10) I feel Rogelio would’ve thrown Jane the party she wanted…

11) To be honest, I like Drunk!Jane 1000% better, so she probably should be drunk all the time? Of course, getting absolutely wasted when you’re about to get fired might not be the best idea.

12) Okay, Petra is going dark…

Will this be a metaphor or is she literally going to leave her kids and start a whole new life under a new identity AGAIN?

13) And Xiomara just left a nasty voicemail on Jane’s professor’s phone. And now they’re a bunch of drunks trying to come up with a plan to fix the situation. So far, the ideas have been stellar: 1) ask Siri, 2) think really hard and delete it with their minds, 3) show up drunk to the party, steal the phone and erase the message.

14) Alright, I guess we’re involving the boring twins again.

15) Rafael’s brother wants to ask him for money for an investment and it all sounds a bit suspish…

16) Why, Rogelio? SERIOUSLY. WHY.

17) Aw, poor Rogelio…

18) So, Rogelio finally agreed to let Michael do the typical bar night he wanted to do with his friends and now his friends are vibing the whole spa thing?

19) She can’t be abandoning her children, I refuse to believe that…

20) Honestly, I really love the relationship between Rogelio and Michael…

21) Surprisingly, Jane did manage to steal the professor’s phone and delete the message. That almost never happens in movies and TV shows.

22) And Michael and Jane end up having their parties together. At the Marbella. They could’ve chosen another location, though. No need to rub it in Rafael’s nose, right?

23) Wha…?

Oh, okay, it was a fantasy. A weird one.

24) Xiomara…

WTF! She was making out with Lina’s guy!

25) Oof, and Jane laid out on her…

XIOMARA: Jane, I'm sorry. JANE: This is why I didn't want you at my bachelorette party. Because I knew this would happen. I knew you would act like a drunk sorority girl. XIOMARA: Wait. That's not fair. JANE: You're right. It's not fair! You know why I'm such a control freak, Mom? Because I grew up with you, and you are so out of control!

I usually tend to side with Xiomara because I feel she actually did a good job as a mom, in spite of being a train wreck in her personal life. But… lady, come on, making out with your daughter’s best friend’s guy at your daughter’s bachelorette party? There’s no excuse for that.

26) I really liked Lina and Jane’s conversation and how Jane understood Lina’s feelings and insecurities and came up with a plan to help her out.

27) It’s very sweet that Xiomara, a grown-ass woman, got into bed with her mom after a rough night… but also, yeah… you really messed up.

28) Damn, this was also a great scene…

JANE: And I'm not just gushing because I'm drunk, I'm gushing because... I've been having trouble with my vows. Distilling what to say. And tonight I realized it's simple. With you... You make me feel safe, in the best way. And my mom kept telling me to lose control, but I couldn't until you got here. Because I know you're watching over me. Instead of me always having to watch over everyone else. So tonight is not my last night of freedom, it's my first night of freedom.

It's a nice example of what a healthy, adult relationship should feel like.

29) And Michael reading his vows privately because he doesn’t want to share his feeling for her with anyone else but her? Also super sweet.

30) I still don’t trust Rafael’s brother…

31) So, Rafael is in some kind of legal trouble because he invested in his brother’s friend’s thing and he made 5 million overnight and I don’t understand anything nor do I care, tbh.

32) Damn!

We've been having the same conversation for years. At this point, I should remind you that Jane didn't lose control very often. And I've had it. Enough with all the excuses and the apologies. At this point, you are just a cautionary tale.

Honestly, I can’t blame Jane this time. She has every right to be done with this bullshit, especially considering it’s not the first time it’s happened.

33) WTF!!!

So is this why Magda suggested Petra should give the twins away? Because that’s what she did with Petra’s SISTER?! Damn, when you think she could not be any more evil! I wonder if Petra’s sister is going to be a mainstay in the show or if she’s just a plot device that’s going to be used and dropped… I always enjoy actresses playing multiple characters in the same show, so I hope she’s here to stay.

However, Petra’s sister showing up does not change the fact that Petra was ready to bolt, right? She had made her suitcases... that was her, not her sister.

34) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[booksandtea]

Author Interview | Rhiannon Frater For the month of October I’m hosting Spooks and Tea where we aim to consume as much horror, or spooky, books as possible.

I also wanted to do something a little different and fun this year so I reached out to a few authors to see if any would be interested in taking part, most of them agreed to do a Q&A with the Book Club! I have never felt more blessed.

If you’re a member of Books and Tea you’ll have been given the chance to ask these authors questions, as well as getting to see their answers early.

It is now time for me to share the second one which is the amazing Rhiannon Frater! I was introduced to her work in my early blogging years and I think she’s a staple to the horror world tbh, and I love the fact she’ll sell personalised signed copies of her work on her etsy which makes us international bookworms very happy! Keep reading to see what we asked her.

Rhiannon Frater

Rhiannon Frater is the award-winning author of the As the World Dies zombie trilogy (Tor) as well as independent works such as The Last Bastion of the Living (declared the #1 Zombie Release of 2012 by Explorations Fantasy Blog and the #1 Zombie Novel of the Decade by B&N Book Blog).

She was born and raised in Texas where she currently resides with her husband and furry children (a.k.a pets).

She loves scary movies, sci-fi and horror shows, playing video games, cooking, dyeing her hair weird colors, and shopping for Betsey Johnson purses and shoes.

Find her at: Instagram | Twitter | GoodReads | Website | Pinterest

What are your hopes for Z Nation season 5? (I picked this series back up thanks to you and I screamed about it so much a few of my friends did too!) I’m thrilled you started watching because of me! SHARE THE ZOMBIE LOVE!

To answer your question, I would love to see the return of all our missing favs: Sun Mei, Red, 5k, and Addy. It looks like I’m getting my wish! Of course, Karl Schaeffer, the showrunner, has to evilly tease us by saying (paraphrasing) “They’re back, but how long until they die!” He loves his hashtag #donttrustznation.

I would also LOVE it if the show was able to book Steven Yuen or Chandler Riggs. The showrunners promised the actors they won’t kill them if they guest star.

Which character from Z Nation would you most want to be watching your back in a Zombie Apocalypse? Roberta Warren. She’s an amazing leader and I would follow her to the ends of the earth.

In a typical horror movie setting, how long do you see yourself surviving? I’m not certain what typical is anymore. If it’s World War Z, I’m toast instantly. I do know how to shoot and I drive like a stunt driver (so I’m told), so I could probably last a reasonable amount of time against a regular monster if I have a gun and fast car. If I don’t have those things, I’m probably dead meat.

What horror monsters could you see yourself beating a fight? Traditional vampires. I know better than to invite them into my house. I win automatically.

Which horror monsters do you fear the most? Slasher monsters like Jason and Freddie. I don’t watch slashers at all.

If you could write a horror book with any author, living or dead, who would you pick and why? Jane Austen. It would be so subversive and fun.

What media influenced you the most? (i.e movies, tv shows, books) I love books. I always have. But when it comes to my love of horror, definitely films. I follow in my grandfather’s love of the horror film genre.

What video games do you find yourself returning ot the most, and what aspect do you find most important? (For me its definitely character customisation, but also the ability to reload should I make the wrong decision) I play Guild Wars 2 religiously. Every damn day. I love it so much. The setting is just so imaginative and fun. Plus, I love the “fashion wars” aspect of the game, too. I’m a big fan of Fallout New Vegas and Mass Effect, too. I enjoy games that allow me to play women who kick ass.

What was your first main struggle on becoming a writer? The main struggle was figuring out how to get published. In 2008, my husband approached me with the idea of self-publishing. We self-published As The World Dies and it was later picked up by Tor. It was very rewarding to take things into my own hands and have the end result be a traditional publishing contract with a genre powerhouse like Tor.

You’re currently writing two serials on two different platforms (Patreon and Radish), what has your experience been like with these? It’s fun, but can be mentally exhausting when I have to keep switching back and forth between very different stories. I’ve grown as a writer by doing the serials, so I’m glad I’m doing them.

Can you tell new readers a bit more about your serials? The serial on Patreon was revised and published as The Unblessed Dead and The Accused Dead. It’s now a new post-apocalyptic book series. It’s origin was actually a short story called The Necromancer (you can read it here for free) originally published in Zombie Tales From Dead Worlds.

The Radish serial, The Impaled Bride, is a sequel/prequel to The Vampire Bride Dark Rebirth trilogy. By the time I’m done, it will be a whole new trilogy that I will most likely self-publish.

If you could be in any of your characters shoes, which would it by any why? That’s tough because all my characters are in really difficult situations and dealing with stuff I definitely don’t want to deal with. I think I’ll have to take a pass on this question!

Why Zombies, Vampires, and Necromancers of all creatures? What makes them so unique and compelling that you write about them? Well, zombies always make a great background for a post-apocalyptic tale. Their constant threat and the dread that comes with it really adds to any tale of survival. I have always loved vampires thanks to Bela Lugosi and Hammer Films. Necromancers are intriguing because they bridge the gap between the living and dead. They add a new dynamic to any story because of their abilities. I love all monsters, of course. I just haven’t written about all of them yet.

Oh and lastly this is more just for me than anything, I think you’re still blonde with a bit of very light pink? How difficult has it been for you to not return to a more intense bright colour? Im currently in the same position but a bit of very light blue and I feel like I lost a bit of me in this change. I’ve wanted to do rose gold for a while. It’s a very hard color to maintain. I’m trying to figure out how to make it work at least for a few more months before I switch it out again. The platinum blonde look before the rose gold has been tough to keep up, too, but it’s been fun to experiment.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I had so much fun talking to Rhiannon and I’m super excited to dive back into Z Nation and seeing her tweets about it weekly! I have her As She Dies trilogy on my TBR for this month so *fingers crossed* I have time for that with all the travelling I have coming up.

Thank you so much for reading this! What did you think about Rhiannon’s answers?

If you enjoyed this post consider supporting Northern Plunder Ko-fi | Twitter | Book Club | RedBubble

Spooky Q+A: @RhiannonFrater #blogoween #BooksandTeaBC Author Interview | Rhiannon Frater For the month of October I'm hosting Spooks and Tea where we aim to consume as much horror, or spooky, books as possible.

[joananevesart]

I want to be an illustrator and I'd like to ask you if your income comes just from illustration or if you have like a part time job on the side? And in what way do you make money? I know about stickers, prints and keychains but i don't know where to really start. Also if you're comfortable with it I'd like to know how much you make in a month? Just a very rough estimate would be enough for me tbh If that's too much for an ask could i message you? so yeah I hope I don't sound too creepy sorry~

Hello! No worries, those are all valid questions! I work full-time as an illustrator for a company that I can't reveal atm because I am in the process of transferring from one company to the other. But my professional work as an illustrator at this company is completely different from what you see here or on my website. I mainly make vectorial illustration for games and videos about programming for kids. It is really different from my personal work.

With that being said, I would say that if you want to make money with your own art, these are some of the ways I know of:- commercial work;- private commissions;- merchandise (prints, stickers, pins, patches, apparel, etc);- patronage (on websites such as patreon, drip, etc)- donations (kofi, etc)

ABOUT COMMERCIAL WORK/PRIVATE COMMISSIONSThis is pretty basic: you get clients to commission you a piece or more, and that's it. You can work by contract or not, depending on the client. There's a lot I could say about this.. like A LOT. The possibilities for the type of work you will be commissioned to do are endless..

ABOUT MERCHANDISEAt the moment I only have prints available because by using Inprnt, I don't have to print and ship the merch myself. I upload my image and someone else takes care of the prints for me. Other websites, such as Redbubble or Society6, allow you to sell more than prints just as easily, such as mugs, pillows, apparel, posters, etc.The hardest part of running an online store where you are the one who sends the merch is having the time to research the companies you're gonna use to produce the merch, put it up online, advertise it and ship it. I have a full time job and I'm currently super focused on producing at least 1 portfolio piece a month, so it leaves me no time to think about anything else. I've tried several times to work on stickers and such, always without success. I would love to do it, though!

If you want to make stickers or other merch you have to:- decide whether you're gonna order or from a company or do it yourself;- decide which platform you will use for selling you things (etsy, tictail, storenvy, etc)- get informed with your local post office on shipping prices- order the required materials for packing your merch (on a local store or online)- make the actual merch!

As you can see, that's a lot of steps and it takes true dedication to it. However, if you do get people interested in your merch, you can make a lot of money with it! I personally don't sell a lot, but I also don't advertise a lot and I don't offer much more than prints.

ABOUT PATRONAGE/DONATIONSWhen you have a following who is very interested in what you do, they might pay you to have access to exclusive content. Usually if you want to set up a Patreon/drip/whatever, you NEED to have the following. Then, you can provide whatever you want, sketches, videos, tutorials, posts about your work, anything really. And if your following doesn't want to subscribe to something like this monthly, they might be up to donating you money through Ko-fi, or paypal, anything really. This is an unreliable source of money, though, but it's an option nonetheless.

My source of income comes from my day job alone. I currently don't accept private commissions and my merchandise does not sell very well, so unfortunately I can't really tell you how to make a living off of your art because I haven't done that myself. Besides, the amount of money you need to make a living varies from country to country. And like I said, I make very little selling prints online (sometimes not even summing up to 10€/month). But that's me and this should not discourage you. I don't advertises much and different styles of illustration may sell better than others, etc. A lot of factors go into whether you'll sell or not.

Besides, the way you try to make money reflects the type of career you want to make - if you wan't to do commercial work, you'll more likely look for Art Directors and commissioners, if you want to live off of your own personal art alone, you will have to build an audience, engage with it, and provide it the materials they would like to have. The possibilities are endless, so good luck! :)

If want/need more specific advice, let me know and feel free to e-mail me as well. I know this is a really long reply, there’s a lot to cover and I hope I covered some basics!!! ♥

[yukipri]

Hello! I was wondering how to be successful and get followers on Patreon like you? I’ve had my Patreon for like about a couple months now and so far I don’t have any followers at all like should I give it more time or maybe improve on my art more? Also I’m sorry about asking you this I know it’s pathetic, but I’ve been trying on twitter and insta but I feel like I’m getting no where and if it feels uncomfortable or dumb to answer you don’t have to!! 😖

So I thought really hard about how to answer this, and I hope you don’t mind answering publicly because I’ve been asked similar in the past as well.

Got a bit long, so beneath a cut.

First off, please don’t think you’re pathetic. It’s hard, making art is hard, getting people to like art is harder, getting people to do anything with the art like reblog or comment is even harder, and getting people to PAY actually money is even harder than that. It’s easy to compare yourself to other creators and get frustrated, TRUST ME I do it constantly ^ ^; But since you asked me so sincerely, here’s my best attempt at giving you what I hope may be a useful answer/some insight into my own choices for how I feel about running Patreon.

Tbh, I honestly don’t think I’m the best person to answer about a “successful” Patreon as I too have had mine for less than half a year. I can hardly call it stable, and I’m constantly experimenting and adjusting things. There are also many, MANY other artists much more successful than I am, depending on what your scale is for “success” which I think really varies per person ^ ^;;;

I also feel that the way someone runs a Patreon and what it means to them (full time job, part time job, hobby, or just a donation option on the side for potential supporters) is also really important in determining what “success” is. I feel that the way I currently run my Patreon is, to be honest, not possible for anyone who has any other obligations/jobs. I usually draw an average 12-16 hours a day (balancing crash and burn comatose days with no sleep days), 7 days a week, lucky to have one day off in a month (and the times I can’t do that, like this month, I’ll provide alternative rewards). As a result I can usually churn out content daily, sometimes multiple times daily (unless the project is major). Just time investment-wise, this amount of content would not be feasible for anyone with other obligations, and it has nothing to do with skill (though pouring this much time into art hopefully means that I’m gaining some skill in the process ^ ^;)

I’ve mentioned this before when someone asked to compare Ko-Fi and Patreon, but I think for some creators, they’re treated very similarly as just a way for fans to financially support them, and Patreon is more stable and a monthly subscription, whereas Ko-Fi has less fees (at least prior to the new changes). And I think that’s a wonderful way for people to use Patreon, if that’s how they want! But I’ve also observed many creators who are FAR more famous than I am make significantly less than me, because their main content/merchandise is available elsewhere, and Patreon is just an alternative means of donation for people who want to do more. It is not uncommon at all for some Patreon creators to only post once a month or less, and sometimes, that’s enough for people to become patrons, because they’re here to support the creator, not get special content.

I personally feel that my own art/content/reputation whatever isn’t deserving of just donation support unless I’m giving back at least equivalent value in exclusive content made through solid work, heck I wouldn’t donate to myself lol. (Hence the running myself to the ground monthly whoops >.>;) To compare, while I got a bit more when I first started/was actively advertising it, nowadays I’m lucky to get one coffee through Ko-Fi every few months ^ ^; And y’know what that’s okay, I’m actually personally more comfortable giving back with Patreon, though of course my Ko-Fi is still available for donations if people feel they want to give.

I also think there’s also a difference between asking for strategies on how to get your already existing followers on public social media to become patrons, and how to increase your public fanbase consuming your free media in general. Currently, around 2% of my tumblr followers are my patrons on Patreon, which is honestly WAY WAY WAY more than I ever dreamed possible. There’s a lot out there to spend your money on, money’s tight for a lot of people, and people are used to receiving free creator content so it’s hard to convince people that of all the potential wonderful creator causes to support, YOU should be one of them. And I get it, and I’m humbled by the people who come by to my Patreon ;_;

For me, the way I try to sell myself is by creating consistent, constant, hyper-specific content. I KNOW I have a super niche fanbase, and I’m specifically targeting y’all, because that’s what I personally enjoy but also because I like offering something different. I think that even within just drawing YOI, drawing for popular ships is obviously going to appeal to a LOT more people, I KNOW this. But at the same time, a lot of other creators will be providing similar content so there’s more competition. Now, if you want Yuuri-centric multi-shipping, poly-shipping, rare pairs, constant moreTPs, A/B/O, mpreg, world-building, and OC babies all combined, there’s slightly fewer people who offer that, and I’m one of those people ^ ^;

Also, posting a significant amount of content that isn’t available publicly. For me, the big breakthrough was the NSFW. I didn’t initially mean to draw this much NSFW, but apparently people want to see it, and I enjoy drawing it (as mild as my comfort zones tend to be), and if it lures people on, maybe I can get them to enjoy my other content too ^ ^; But let’s be fully honest, the vast majority of my patrons probably joined so they could see the porn, which I’ve been very clear will never be public. And again, given how rare my ships are and how specific my AU content is, if you want to see this stuff, you’re not gonna be getting it anywhere else so come take a look–is sorta how I hope I’m selling it? ^ ^;

As for how you know when you’re ready? I again think that depends on you. I’ve had people asking me to open a Patreon since it became an option, but I didn’t think I personally was creating the type of content I’d be comfortable taking money for. I didn’t think I was ready when I was in BH6, and I didn’t think I was ready when I was in SW either. But during all of these fandoms, one thing that I WAS training myself to do was post constantly, consistently, rarely if ever taking a break, and if I didn’t post one week, it was because I was planning something major. That ramped up even more for YOI, and it was only after creating like this for years and getting to the point where I needed a form of income through art or stop pouring so much time into it that I decided to try Patreon, already having proven to myself that I can maintain creating constant content. This is for me, and again I went into it hoping to make it full time. You may not need to post as rigorously for your purposes, and that’s fine too. And maybe for you, just making your Patreon and slowly growing your fanbase from there is the right way. We’re different people and different artists so it’s completely understandable if your path is very different from mine ^ ^;

Sorry this got long and may not have provided a direct answer, but I hope it was a helpful reference in some way ^ ^;

[delicrieux]

truth (loki x reader)

warnings; angst i guess?

words; 1745

prompt;  Hey, I heard your requests are opened could you do one where Loki disappears for months on end (the first Avengers Assemble movie) and he returns to Asgard as a prsioner and the reader is his wife and is really pissed and goes to  see him and angrily confronts him but then realising it wasn't her Loki who did it. That he wasn't himself and that he was forced to do such horrible things. In the movie it looked as if Loki was tortured and manipulated so I'm going off that. Angst and maybe a little fluff? (  madge-lvoe )

a/n; tbh made her his lover not wife 

MASTERLIST KO-FI. WRITTING CHALLENGE!

Two months, three hours and fifty five seconds without him. Without a word, a goodbye note or even a quick notice from the guards. Loki disappeared as if he was blown off the face of the earth. At first you thought it was one of his tricks, that he would be back in the evening or the next day with a grin and you would yell at him for the rest of the day for how worried he made you. That night, the night he went missing, you went to bed already thinking of how you will curse. When you woke up…he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there the day after that. And after that. And after that. Two months, three hours and fifty nine seconds without him.

Your bedchamber is airy and warm- the open windows provide not only a beautiful scenery of the flower gardens but also let sunbeams trail on your bedpost, marble floor and a few ornate statues Loki had placed for the aesthetic of it. You inhale a deep breath that tastes sweet on your tongue – the hem of your dress sways from the soft breeze and the light fabric tightens around your chest – and exhale. Your shoulders slump and you pull away from the window with a soft frown. The pleasant weather is almost insulting. Should it not rain? Should thunder not rattle the sky from your fury? Should not all flowers wilt, just like you sitting there, waiting for him? Pain shoots to your heart like a fiery arrow and seeps into your bones. Your bottom lip trembles. Where had he gone? Questions…so many questions unanswered. You feel tears pick behind your eyelid and you quickly wipe any that dared to surface. No. No more of this helpless crying – it did not help after a week of his disappearance and it will not help now. Granted, it is not his loss that hurt you the most. It is him not telling you he was leaving. He always confided in you. In his most venerable moments he would seek you out and perhaps spill more than his pride allowed. These strong feelings…brewed between the two of you in a rapid pace, though neither of you said a thing about this purity called ‘Love’. You were ready to tell him at a moment’s notice, but now that he is gone…

Bitter. So bitter. What if you never have the chance to tell him how you feel?

The castle rumbles. You blink. Guards shout behind your door and in a hurry leave their posts. You snap your head to the window – the servants rattle and leave their baskets, water-pots and gardening gloves and rush out of your vision. You grab the silky fabric of your dress and spin on your heel, marching to the wooden door and pulling it open. You stick your head out. The cool corridor is quiet and cold; a breeze caresses your dewy cheeks as you look from side to side.

“HE’S BACK!” You hear, jerking as the voice booms louder than expected. Is it the throne room it was coming from? Adrenaline spikes in your veins and you rush out your room, leaving the door open and jog down the hallway.

Passing the arch your vision is blocked by a crowd of servants. An array of guards stands up front. The King, in his seat, appears emotionless, though the Queen, standing on the golden steps, betrays worry and fear. Whispers. So many whispers. Too many to distinguish one from another, so you do not even bother.

“Explain yourself.” The King says and all falls quiet – your heartbeat even slows as you wait in anticipation.

“Father…” Thor speaks up but is easily shushed by the raise of his father’s hand. Your fingers go numb and you pry your lips to speak, though no words come out. Thor…He has returned! That can only mean one thing—

“I was not speaking to you, my boy.” The King turns his head gently to the left, his cold gaze piercing who ever stood at the exact spot, “I was asking Loki.”

A cold shiver rolls down your spine and you release a short breath. Your legs seem to have the mind of their own, as whilst in your head you joyously exclaim that Loki indeed is alright, they move and absentminded you murmur ‘Excuse me’ and ‘Pardon me’ as you squeeze through the masses almost desperate to see him. Once you bump into the guard he turns to glare and tell you to go back, but upon meeting your gaze all he can do is utter your name and straighten his back, side stepping to let you through.

“And what is it you wish to know, Father?”

Your shoulders slump. Thor sees you first; your round face and meek figure squished between the sturdy shoulders of the cavalry. You feel defeat settle. Loki looks…ravished. His sick raven hair tarnished. The edges of his tailored suit cut and torn and burned, his cheeks hollow and his gaze tired. But most of all…why is he…why is he cuffed? Your eyes move to Thor, at first frightened now you demand for an answer. He seems lost on what to say.

“Your actions, Loki. Why you did what you did. Why you endangered the people of Earth and why you tried to destroy it.”

~*~

“Let me through!”

“Miss, please, only authorized personnel is allowed to enter—“

“I will authorize your corpse if you do not let me pass.”

…

“Move!”

The guards do as they are told and you storm past them into the prison. The air shifts from warm to cold and pinches your exposed shoulders red. You huff an angry breath. The only sound echoing is your rushed footsteps going down the stairwell. Before you know it you are below the castle and pass another post – this time however, no one dares to stop you. You enter the celled room.

“Well, lookie lookie, if it ain’t the wicked witch.” A menacing voice of one prisoner speaks. You ignore him and pass his glassed cell quick with only one idea in mind – to raise hell for one person placed in cell 305.

You abruptly stop near it, your teeth chattering from the cold and from the boiling anger that fueled your sudden appearance. Behind the glass Loki perks, blinks and slowly lifts himself off the floor though doesn’t approach you. You wait for him to speak – perhaps you even dare to hope that he’d grin and reveal this all being a sick joke, but he does not.

“Two months.” Despite the light tremble your voice is low and dangerous and though it is quiet he can hear you perfectly, “Two months without a word and now I find out you were on a self-indulging mission to destroy Earth?” You take a step closer to the glass, glaring, “I waited for you. I even prepared to defend you in case you caused a ruckus…A ruckus, Loki, not a war.” You clench your fist, “A war. What were you thinking? What had gotten into you?!”

“(Name)…” the softness in which he calls you with pierces you with pain and your façade crumbles. “Please, let me explain—“

“Explain?” You spit the word out, “Explain?! This is not some sort of silly joke you can just ‘explain’, Loki. Those small Earth creatures, humans, they died because of you. They are dead and now you will just ‘explain’ yourself?!”

“(Name)—“

“No!” the ground rattles from your voice. You pull back, “Do not dare call me by name.”

The silence is deafening. Loki releases a slow ragged breath and feels his fingertips go numb. He gulps, glances down and blinks.

“Humans…Such helpless creatures. Why would you belittle them so? Because they are weak? We were all weak once. You included. I helped you with magic because I believed you will use it to fight wars, not starts them. You used my magic to…Kill innocent people…” a salty tear rolls down your cheek and you quickly wipe it away.

“No.” The tremble in his voice surprises you and when you lift your eyes up to meet his, your heart tumbles to your abdomen – such a fierce green. The redness and glossiness of his eye makes bitterness form on the edge of your tongue. “No. It was not the way you describe it to be, (Name). It wasn’t me. It wasn’t…me. I couldn’t lie to you. I wouldn’t lie to you. Not you. Never you. I swear to you, on everything, on my life, that I did not do it out of free will.” He stalks closer to the glass, putting his hand on it, “(Name)…” He says your name so tenderly your knees nearly buckle, “Please…you must believe me.”

“Then why did you take the blame?”

He releases a bitter laugh and his hand slides down the glass, leaving an imprint, “And who would believe me? Only you, Thor and Mother. But the rest? The whole castle? My Father? They would view me the same. No matter what I would have done, guilty or not, I would still end up here. But what’s important to me is that you know. Because you’re the only one important.”

A pause. “I cannot help you escape.” You shake your head.

Loki lets a tired smile slip onto his lips, “I am not asking you to. I deserve to be here…I have done what I have done, not because I wanted to, of course, but it was still me that did it… I just…” He caught your gaze, “I wanted you to know the truth.”

“Who made you kill them, then?”

“Does it matter? They’re all dead now anyway.”

You falter, “Oh…” is all you say.

“Were you going to avenge me?”

“Not anymore.” You say, “You…You would not lie to me, yes?”

“Never.” He says firmly. You nod.

“Then I best be on my way. I will…come to visit you when I have cooled down.”

“And I will eagerly wait for your return.”

You smile meekly, turn but don’t move. Not yet. “You know I…” your voice cracks with feeling and you bite your lip. A love confession? Now of all times? No, no no. Not now. Loki waits eagerly for you to continue. “I will bring you a book to pass the time.” You finish curtly.

“Ah…” He sounds disappointed, “That would be lovely. Thank you.”

You nod. And leave.

fin

[kandismon]

Would you be okay sharing how you make money from your art now, and how you got there? You seem so happy in that post you made a while back, and in your tags sometimes!

hiya nonny

sorry for the late reply, i knew i wanted to take some time to answer this properly and i had to wait until now ;;;;;;;;;;

i hope you’re still around to read it ;;;;;

i’m gonna put this under a read more because i ended up rambling and wrote an entire essay (and it’s probably way too honest but that’s the only way i know how to talk to people and maybe someone can get something out of this lolol)

1. HOW THE HECK DID I GET HERE

i used to be stuck in a job a couple of years ago that not only bored the hell out of me but also gave me nightmares for the longest time for various reasons and it ended up draining all of my energy and for a while i wasn’t able to enjoy what i love most, which is, of course, drawing. i’m not good at leaving thoughts and worries regarding work at my workplace, i’m the type to take it all home with me and it made me become apathetic and unable to get excited over anything and i could practically feel my motivation to create anything leave me.

at that time i started noticing that my audience had grown quite a bit over the years and i was already doing a few commissions here and there and i had sold a couple of fanbooks, and those were things i really loved doing, but, as mentioned above, at that time i didn’t really have the energy to focus on that because i was still wasting most of my day with that unsatisfying job.

thanks to my partner, who kept kicking my ass for a while, i ended up looking for a new job, found a shop that was looking for someone to hire part-time, i applied, got it and quit my old job the next day.

part-time seemed great, because it meant i’d have double the time to work on art and commissions and also i was probably going to be able to sleep well again because i didn’t have to worry about what was going on at my old workplace anymore, right?

…. wrong.

while i really liked working at that shop, it took up a lot of time too in the end, due to extra-time, extra (non-paid) responsibilities and interpersonal problems. also i suck at saying no to people, so bye-bye time for art and welcome back nightmares.

while working there, more and more commissions started coming in, my audience kept growing slowly but steadily, people were actually interested in comics and products i made ?? and i didn’t make a lot of money back then by a long stretch but it was just. so. fulfilling. i love doing commissions, i love drawing stories and sharing them, and there’s no better feeling than making a thing yourself and ending up with the finished product in your own hands, and my wish to freelance more came from these experiences.

meanwhile the situation at work started pissing me off more and more and i was close to saying fuck it and quitting so so often and, well, last year i finally did (again thanks to my partner for listening to my rants and also kicking my butt to get the hell out of there LOL)

i was considering looking for yet another job but tbh after all these years i’m tired of having to deal with authority figures that pay you jackshit for your work but try to push you around 24/7 and bend you to their will because they don’t give a fuck about their employees and only care about $$$ (or maybe i’m just too stubborn and can’t deal with people who try to tell me what to do [i’m pretty sure that’s the main issue tbh lolol])

so i decided to try and become an independent artist full-time. which is still risky but

a) if i don’t try it, i’ll regret it for the rest of my life

b) i have no one i have to support financially except for myself, so in case i fail the only person who’ll get in trouble is me, which is very convenient ??

for various reasons i had no choice but to jump right into this without feeling prepared enough at all BUT i still think it’s gonna work out somehow. i’ve learned a lot these last couple of weeks/months and i’m positive that it’s going to be Just Fine.

2.) WHAT THE HECK AM I ACtuALLY DOING

i do still feel like i have no idea what i’m doing most of the time, so take everything below with a bit of skepticism but i think i’ve been doing some things right without even realising it.

like, even though quitting my job and deciding to work as an artist was a very impulsive decision, i think i fulfill the necessary requirements for it to work out:

i had some money saved up that could help me survive for a few months if i ended up not being able to make any money for a while

i already had freelance jobs lined up and projects i was working on that would provide me with some sort of income

and it’s been working out so far ??? (let’s talk again in a few months when i realise all the things i’ve forgotten or fucked up)

things i noticed during that time, that i need to fix/work on/learn:

 i need to raise my prices again or come up with a better system like ?? patreon at some point in the future maybe (because at this rate i have to draw at least 20 commissions each month JUST to make enough money to pay rent and insurance, and while jobs are coming in, which is great, i’m going to kill myself sooner rather than later with this workload)

i need to figure out a way to reduce the time i spend each day with just answering emails/messages/asks/mentions because it takes away a lot of time that i should spend drawing and while i really want to reply to everyone who takes the time to write me, i just can’t do it anymore without losing too much time orz so i’m trying to think of a solution, like a ?? monthly post in which i just reply to questions i’ve gotten a lot or something IDK

taxes wtf

as much as i love doing commissions, i do need to find a way to be able to work just as much on personal projects, because in the end that’s what i really want to do and what gives me the needed motivation to wake up in the morning and continue to work hard on myself and my skills

speaking of mornings, i need to find a daily routine again, my hours are all over the place, which i had decided i would allow myself for some months but it’s time i made a proper schedule that i can stick to

anyway, my current income consists of commissions, leftover comic sales and nice people who send me donations through ko-fi ; ;

at the end of the month i have not actually made any money though, usually i have a bit of a loss but that’s fine since i’m just starting out and you can never expect to make profit immediately when you start a business. i’m still figuring things out and will hopefully manage to actually make enough money to live off soon lol;;;;;;;;;;

i hope this ?? answers your questions?? if there’s anything else you wanna know, feel free to ask &i’ll try to not take 3 months to reply LOL

i’m more than willing to share whatever little experience and knowledge i can offer, i don’t believe in keeping things to yourself just so that nobody else can benefit from them, i think it’s much better to share information and help each other out if possible ;;;;

also i’m sorry if this is too much information that nobody asked for, i have never learned how to get to the point quickly OTL