#tbh I don’t even know what the hell going on in this pic it’s up for interpretation 🤷🏾��♀️

[alienpussycat]

Need them in a room together in which they are no others…👀These voidstrike drawing might stall a bit because guess who decided to take a 5 week trigonometry summer course with the worst teacher possible so she could graduate early 🤩

[scararingg]

sahsr thoughts >-< (some nfsw)

(NFSW AHEAD)

I adore the thought of sahsr more than sagau tbh—

The fact that there IS a higher chance they would be self aware, cuz.. they are more advanced, with phones and that stuff..

They might even hear you while you play >-< every second is a moment spent good if you were playing, and if you left they would be sad as hell..

like why you leaving don’t leave them

but they get used to it and just hope and wait for when you come back

except you don’t..

and you start playing a game called Genshin, which is familiar.. wait… isn’t that the game that is basically similar to theirs?!

who the fuck is wriothesley and why do you want them to handcuff you and fuck you until you can barely walk?!

Are most of them jealous? Of course they are.. stop bringing your attention to them..

They can hear you while you play that game and it annoys them so much..

especially trailblazer. They can probs hear you and not being able to hear them makes them feel more anxious..

and when they hear you talk.. even if it isn’t directed at them it makes them feel kinda.. well.. needy for you..

but mostly because they want you.. they can barely talk without you.

cuz it feels like they can’t decide without you..

Trailblazer decides to probs go to herta or someone who is rlly smart so they can do something and try to bring you to their world.

Because.. you aren’t coming.. and the next banner is in 19 days and it’s the 1st patch.. they can’t wait longer..

Obviously whoever agrees says yes with the goal of maybe taking you to themselves..

The stellaron hunters might get a mission to bring you to their world and they try hard. After all they want it too.

they want you to come so bad.

all of them.

silver wolf tries her best to hack and find out everything, and what she has found out is

~ Your location in the other world

~ Your search history

~ your phone number

and a lot more.

Elio is desperate to have you, and the stellaron hunters are aware of it. They want to help Emil and also have you, so they will do anything in their power to help you.

it’s not as if the stellaron hunters are the only organisation that wants you.. the astral express wants u to!

with Dan heng learning info and putting most of it in his data bank…

trailblazer writing everything you say and stuff they hear abt you in a few notebooks that are starting to pile up..

march accidentally drawing you in alot of stuff.. and maybe trying to take a pic of you. she can see you through the screen after all..

himeko learning as much abt you as possible because she knows you will come… and when you come she’ll try her best to make you happy.

and welt being concerned because he knows an alternate universe- and he wants to protect you.. he helps dan heng and knows (eerily) quite alot abt you..

[megumimania]

connie x black! fem reader, in a connie brain rot need him real bad i fear !! likes and reblogs r greatly appreciated <3

best friend!connie who has known you since you were toddlers, with there not being a memory in his life that you weren’t apart of.

best friend!connie who always picks up when you call, whether it’s talking shit about someone or picking an outfit for an event, he’s always there for you

best friend!connie who joins you when you go to the nail salon to get your nails done, often asking for a matching design with you

best friend!connie who always pays for everything despite you constantly reminding him that you can pay for things yourself, saying that his grandma would roll in her grave knowing that he’s letting a pretty girl like you buy things with her own money

best friend!connie who likes catching you off guard when he compliments you which happens like all the time tbh

best friend!connie whose bald head makes him a perfect impromptu wig stand but when he gets bored of being your test subject, he’s quick to make you work for that wig by making you chase him for it 😭

best friend!connie who loves taking candid shots of you when you guys hang out with his captions being so ambiguous that people don’t know if you’re dating or not

best friend!connie who is your biggest hype man, always reposting your shit and changing his pfp to a pic you recently posted

best friend!connie who still calls you by your childhood nickname to this day, only saying your name when shit gets serious or when he wants to scare you.

best friend!connie who doesn’t reply when people ask if you guys are dating, preferring to let them believe what they want

best friend!connie who is the only person that knows you inside out and vice versa. he always knows when its time for you guys to head out from your body language

best friend!connie who feels slightly territorial when a guy approaches you to ask you out even though he knows you can hold your own

best friend!connie who always helps you detangle and style your hair when its wash day (i wish someone could do this 4 me omds 😔🙄)

best friend!connie who puts on your bonnet on your head when you’re too tired to do it yourself

best friend!connie who stays over at your house so much, he practically lives there, i mean he literally has a spare key to your house

best friend!connie who is always eating your food like damnn 😭

“con, how the hell have you been here for 3 days and managed to clear out our entire fridge??” you said staring at the fridge dumbfounded

“im a growing boy sweetheart i gotta eat! plus you know I’ll pay your mama back for the food i ate anyways” he replied with a smile

“i’m a growing boy, my ass.” you muttered to yourself storming out of the kitchen.

(dw connie bought you wingstop later that day to make it up to you.)

best friend!connie who will ride for you until the very end because you are one of the people outside his family that he actually cares for

best friend!connie who loves you more than you know and is grateful for your presence in his life

[poppitron360]

tbh i find you annoying but thats just my opinion. you're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. good for you. my own opinion - based on petty standards and prejudice and a bit of jealousy - is not a reflection of reality and should not affect you. keep having fun.

also please don't block me because you're posting about something i like and it's not very well known and i just needed to get this out because id explode

… Okay?

This ask is fascinating to me and I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Imma disect your comment like a lil bug real quick, if that’s okay with you?

If it doesn’t affect me why did you tell me? Like what was the purpose of telling me that you find me annoying? What validation does that give you?

Like you took all that time and effort to 1) seek out my blog 2) read enough of my posts to come up with a REALLY REALLY GOOD BURN LIKE WOW THAT IS SO CLEVER 3) Click on the ask button 4) write this comment 5) CHANGE THE FREAKING FONT- Like you went through the whole process of highlighting that line of text, clicking the “minimise” AND the “strikethrough” buttons and THEN 6) pressing send and you didn’t stop to think ONCE “hey… why the hell am I doing this?”

It always baffles me when people tell me these things like they think I’m not already painfully aware of it. Like I know that I’m annoying to some people THAT’S WHY I’M HERE!!! I have found the one community of people that find what I’m saying interesting!

I’m not posting for YOU I’m posting for THEM. You think I give a shit what you think about me? Are you THAT self-centred? Maybe my posts aren’t tailored to you, and that’s fine! Not everyone is making content specifically for your consumption, and might just be marketing to a different audience. If you’re not pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down, that’s okay. Maybe I’m just not putting it down for your specific needs.

You know, before I joined Tumblr, a comment like this would have sent me SPIRALLING. But now I’ve realised that there is actually a place and a people to whom I am entertaining. I just gotta find the right audience.

One of my favourite inspirational quotes ever is by Einstein and it’s that “everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it would think itself an idiot” or words to that effect. Yeah- my talent for spinning Leo Valdez round my brain like a candy-floss machine until it eventually turns into content isn’t necessarily “fun at parties” or useful for getting a job or good for… y’know… anything applicable to the Real World™️ but here I’ve found where I CAN put it to good use! And a year ago I didn’t have that.

Before Tumblr, my lil fishy body was struggling ‘er way up that tree. Here, I’ve found my ocean!

Not sure where this metaphor is going in relation to the topic of you finding me annoying… I guess fish me doesn’t feel like such an “idiot” now that I’ve found where I belong? Like I know that my talents are niche but SOMEONE likes ‘em. Actually quite a lot of people like ‘em, judging by my follower count. And I didn’t get this far by just having a cute cat pic as my pfp, but by actually building my skill and working hard! And I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. SO FUCK YOU!!! HUZZAH!!!

I’m aware of how much of an asshole I sound like, but honestly? I am proud of myself. And my girl deserves her moment.

I feel a little bad responding guns-ablaze bc your hate comment was legitimately kinda nice and considerate?

But Also- how weird is this as a hate comment? Like you’re being insulting but you’re also saying you like my stuff? Geez, it says a lot about you that you can’t even send anon hate correctly.

If you wanna keep reading my stuff, go ahead! You just either gotta power through whatever weird complex you have about me, or just don’t read it. I don’t really see what good sending me this ask will do. Whatever gripe you have, put it aside. Like how I put aside your lack of capital letters in that comment, knowing that my stupid obsessive thing with Grammar shouldn’t affect how I treat other people, and that that is my OWN problem to deal with.

I’m being silly here. I’ve just never had the confidence to roast my haters before. I’ve never had haters to roast (online, anyway) so forgive my overzealousness. If you couldn’t tell- I was a theatre kid and still am…

In all seriousness, I like how self-aware you are that you’re being prejudiced and jealous. And I’m kinda curious as to what specifically you’re jealous of? But that’s just to boost my own ego.

I’m aware that I can be a little intimidating sometimes, particularly in a written form of socialisation. I like grammar, okay? I like rules and guidelines and careful, creative choices to show emotion and how you can break the rules in certain ways to give depth and nuance to the character and find the pattern of letters and characters to communicate what you’re feeling over a written format and-

If you couldn’t tell by all the fanfics I write- I also have a passion for writing.

Also, what specific prejudices? I’m genuinely intrigued. Is it specifically based off of one of the protective characteristics (under the 2011 Equality Act)? Or is it more just the way I behave? Or is it something I said? Like don’t be shy I don’t want vague I want DETAILS!!

And I realise that me writing a whole freaking dissertation on your comment just PROVES your point that I’m annoying but I. Don’t. Care. I’m having fun. I can’t help that I have a lot of Thoughts And Feelings about things. It’s just how my brain works. Also, it is currently 1:23am where I live, so brain go brrr. If you made it this far, anon, I salute you! Thank you for taking the time to hear me out even though you think I’m annoying. That’s honestly a good quality to have. Here, have a sweet 🍬

And I know that that was… intense, to say the least. Oh BOY do I know that I can be intense. But genuinely- GENUINELY- I’d love to sit down and have a discussion with you on this because it truly fascinates me how other people perceive me. And, if you’re comfortable coming out of anon (if not, that’s fine) I’d like to learn more about why you think these things. Not necessarily so that I can change- but it’d be a great opportunity to see what I can learn about myself through what you think at me. I know it seems like I’m mad- I’m really not! I’m just captivated by the world and how others look at me.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out, and I hope to have good conversations with legitimate constructive criticism in many posts to come! Never stop being passionate. Just maybe direct your passion to something more positive. Thank you so much for the ask, this was a really good thought experiment for me.

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

Gojo headcanons bc ive got too much time on my hands

bro ate chalk as a kid and ive got proof

look at his kid self for a sec, he’s got a grown out buzzcut and the blue eyed stare. thats a chalk eater

you can’t convince me he’s a good swimmer

he’s lanky and tall, bro gets swept away the min he is near the ocean. he’s built to be shark food, sorry luv

the cloth he wears to cover his eyes is raggedy as hell

let me explain. he wears it constantly both in and out of battle, he wears it in any weather, and let’s be real he’s so odd that he probs sleeps in it sometimes

this leads me to believe that even tho he almost never gets hurt during a fight the blood and grime gets all up in the cloth

no amount of Tide or even acid could get rid of the STENCH that mask holds

it smells like ten cans of bounce that ass. one whiff could, quite literally, kill an old man

he’s a chronic podcast listener

tried to become one of those skater kids, failed miserably. geto never let him live it down

i think he’d make a great partner but if you listen to Hozier he will cause a scene

basically what im saying is he’s jealous of Hozier

Gojo knows that no matter how strong he is he will NEVER compare to that man’s vocals/lyrics and what they do to you

que Gojo trying to sing your fav Hozier song(s) but he can’t match the pitch which sends you into cardiac arrest

other than that he’s a pretty good singer, could probs serenade you to sleep

you know how everyone has an irrational fear? yuh his is birds

you ever see him interact with one in a normal way?

you see a bird, he sees a sack of organs with hollow bones that sore through the sky and sometimes they can talk

he pisses his pants when he sees a macaw

he’s a rich bitch and it’s a problem. not cuz he’s an ass abt it but bc he spoils the hell out of the teens

we know he would buy Megumi anything in the world but Yuuji and Nobara get the same treatment

he saw Yuuji’s orphaned ass and immediately transferred HUNDREDS to Yuuji’s bank acc

ain’t no student of his gonna be broke, that’s for sure

probs carries around pics of Megumi from when the teen was a kid

some are cute such as Megumi at the beach or having a fun at the zoo. others are of Megumi fighting for his life

i feel that when Yuuji entered the equation he also started taking pics of him during cute, fun, or important moments

very much sentimental older brother energy

whenever Gojo gets sick or injured he either becomes a massive baby or denies it until he’s dead

depends on the problem tbh. if he’s got a head cold he needs to be hospitalized but if he got his legs cut off he’d ignore it for weeks

you know how most men’s body wash or shampoo is named in, what’s considered, “masculine scents”

like redwood, campfire smoke, whiskey, fucking piss water

yuh he’s not a fan

i don’t think he’d really like those scents. in his mind, why does smelling like burnt coal or salt = masculine?

he probs just grabs whatever he likes, maybe orange scented stuff or even subtle vanilla

whatever cologne he wears tho is fucking delicious. you smell it and immediately your knees give out

i think if you gave him a huff of old spice tho he’d just disintegrate

im thinking of his general hygiene now, he has a solid routine

it’s not a million steps, probs just good quality face wash, serums, and moisturizer

that being said he suffered horrific back acne as a kid. dont ask how I know this, i will eat you alive

he looks and acts flawless but we know the truth. he sucks at card games

Yuuji’s biggest flex is he beat Gojo at go-fish 28 times in a row

he says calabunga and not a single person can stand it

that’s it for now, i’ll probs add more headcanons later

thanks for coming to my ted talk, i hope this post finds you before Sukuna does

(this is all mildly unedited, soz for mistakes)

[willowisapillow]

🐉 Next Time On South Park Z 🐉

The couple of all time 💝

Here it is, the true (super belated) Valentine’s Day picture. Yet another cringe crossover absolutely nobody asked for yet I deliver because I can. Apologies if I’ve been posting way too much South Park stuff, it’s yet another franchise that I’m currently unhealthily hyper-fixated on. Enjoy some more Randy and Sharon appreciation art from me, because these two dorks are just everything to me <3

This was also made as a small tribute to Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragon Ball after I found out that he passed away earlier this month on March 1st. Even though I’m a casual fan of the series, still makes me sad that he’s no longer and that we lost another anime/manga legend.

This whole art became a thing based on a phone call between me and one of my older brothers. We were just talking about random dumb stuff and he jokingly asked me to draw Cartman as Naruto and Kyle as Saskue (which is an art project that y’all know damn well I’ll be drawing in the future so look out for that lmao). I just started laughing to myself, but then I thought to myself, “What other anime could I cross over with South Park?” then Dragon Ball popped up in my head all of a sudden, and that’s how this cringefest came to be.

I can kinda see some connections with it, tbh. Both Goku and Randy are dumbass but funny as hell dads (they also have black hair), and both Chichi and Sharon are no-nonsense moms who are often exasperated by their hubbies’ idiotic actions, but do love them deep down and have shared some wholesome cute moments together with them. Both series also feature a lot of fighting and deaths too lol

And since it is the year of the dragon, this pic is pretty fitting :>

I thought I would take forever with this picture because a. I’m total garbage at drawing realistic-ish, non-animal guy characters, and b. I don’t draw side-view faces that much, but surprisingly it wasn’t too hard. I did get kinda lazy with the lower half of Randy’s body and didn’t draw it, but besides that, the whole art was pretty easy. Minus drawing the hands. Because Jesus tap dancing Christ, the hands took me lightyears to get right 🙃

All in all, this might be one of my favorite 2024 pieces of art I’ve drawn so far. Again, these two are special to me, and I finally got the chance to cross over some of my favorite things, cartoons and anime. Maybe I might draw Stan and Wendy as Gohan and Videl in the future as a little follow-up ^^

Also, the mental image of Randy going Super Saiyan is just the funniest shit to me, istg someone needs to make fanart, an animation, or some other sort of meme of that 💀

That’s all that I have for now. Hope you guys have a great day or night, and make sure to stay safe out there.

Farewell, Toriyama. May your memory and legacy live on 😇

[2012wannabe]

untitled

wc: 1658

cw: f!reader x abusive bf, physical/emotional abuse, Abby takes care of reader

an: tbh I don’t really like this nor do I have a title. I might add some pics like I usually do later but all in all not that great 🥴🥴 if y’all have feedback or a title feel free to lmk

Notes for my fanfiction

“Hey- what’s that on your neck?” Abby asked. Your mind flailed for something to say, you weren’t expecting her to show up at your door.

“It’s nothing. What happened? Did someone drop out of night patrol?”

“That’s unimportant now. It looks like you have bruises on your neck.”

“Just from fighting.” Please buy it, please buy it. Abby’s eyes narrowed.

“You don’t look so good, can I just check it?” You swallowed and let her in, hands shaking slightly.

“It’s all good I promise.” Abby moved the cloth of your sweater to reveal more bruising forming handprints.

“Fuck you have literal hand prints on your neck, why didn’t you go to the infirmary for this?”

“It’s nothing.” You said weakly.

“Did someone hurt you?”

“No.” Your brain was spiraling, the stress, sleep deprivation, and your injury all starting to compound at once.

“If it was infected, why didn’t you just go get it checked out? No one would have questioned it, but you hid it.” Abby pressed, her worry growing.

“He didn’t mean it, okay!” You snapped. Oh fuck.

“He didn’t mean it?” She said incredulously, immediately figuring out who ‘he’ was. Her heart was in her shoes and she fought the urge to just scoop you up in her arms.

“Yeah, we’re fine now.”

“Fine? Have you seen yourself?”

“Yup.” You said weakly.

“At least let me look at it, get you ice and pain meds.”

“Ok.” You sighed. Abby examined the bruising,

“When did this happen?”

“Last night.”

“I can tell. Let me get some stuff, don’t leave.” You trembled as she left, wanting to cry. She returned just as quick as she left, applying ice to the worst of the bruises.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, now tell me about this person who left those marks on your neck.”

“I think you know.”

“Yeah, I do. But I’m asking anyway. Why are you still with him?”

“He’s fine, it was my fault anyway. I’m trying to be better.”

“It’s not your fault!” Abby said raising her voice suddenly. You flinched causing her heart to drop even more. Muttering an apology, she continued.

“He’s been putting you through hell and here you are trying to be better for him. He doesn’t deserve you.” You stuttered and searched for words but could only come up with a pathetic sounding,

“Really?”

“Yes, really. So please stop blaming yourself for his actions. They are all on him.”

“He always says it my fault.”

“And that’s what he wants you to believe. Because deep down inside he knows he messed up big time.” You blushed and muttered a thanks feeling embarrassed. She fixed your hair behind your ear and gently held your face.

“He hurt you, and he needs to pay for that.” Abby said sweetly.

“Can you stay with me a little bit?”

“Of course.” She said, looking at you love with overwhelming love in her eyes. Abby loved you with her whole heart and soul and though she would never admit it she despised your boyfriend and achingly wished it was her you were with. She kept her feelings to herself because she valued your friendship too much and seeing what he did to you just made her heart shatter into a million pieces. She knew she couldn’t make you leave him, that that had to be a decision you made on your own but she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to be holding your hand every step of the way. You reached forward and hugged her, sinking into her embrace.

“I’ll take care of you today, okay.” Abby said sweetly. You nodded.

“I don’t deserve your kindness.” You said softly and quietly.

“Oh honey, you deserve more. But seriously, you need to leave him. And if there’s anything at all you need help with, I’ll help you. Just let me know okay?” You nodded and thanked her.

“It’s nothing really, you should go lay down and rest.” Abby said.

“He’s going to be back from his assignment soon, can I stay the night with you?” You said, biting your lip.

“Absolutely.” Abby said. She brought you back to her room and showed you where everything was. You started to walk toward her bedroom but stopped to say,

“This might sound dumb but can you lay with me?” You asked with your head down. Your mind chastised you for wanting affection, being so needy as to ask. But Abby wasn’t like him.

“Of course, whatever you need.” She said following you into bed. Slipping off her shoes, she laid next you hooking her strong arm around your waist and holding you close. Using her other hand, Abby stroked your hair and admired you. You looked so peaceful sleeping. It wasn’t long before you both drifted to sleep.

When morning came, Abby awoke to an empty bed and worry started to form in her chest. She looked around for you and her heart dropped again when she realized you must have gone back to where you and your boyfriend lived.

Approaching your door, she winced hearing him yell through the door. Raising her hand to bang on the door she braced herself for what was going on behind the door. You opened the door and her heart broke again. You were disheveled and quite frankly looked like you were about to cry.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

“I just didn’t want him to worry when he came home to an empty room. He’s a little upset right now but it’ll be okay.” Abby knew it wouldn’t be okay and forced herself through the doorway. One of the perks of being Issac’s right hand man, no one wanted to fuck with you. He approached the both of you and asked,

“Hey Abby. What’s going on?”

“Nothing… I just wanted to check on the both of you.” His features morphed into a confused expression and you could immediately tell what he was thinking.

“Well everything is fine.” He said grabbing you by your side, pretending you didn’t wince when he did so.

“Do you mind if I grab her for a bit? Just need some help downstairs. Got a few people at the wall.” She lied. There were people at the wall but getting you out was her priority. He looked like he wanted to decline but he couldn’t say no so he reluctantly let you go. Leaving down the hall going into her room she said,

“Did he hit you again? You winced when he grabbed your side.” You looked down to avoid her eyes and she said,

“I think you know what I’m going to say.”

“I don’t know, it’s just a lot and I really do care about him.”

“He tried to strangle you. What if he didn’t stop and he killed you?

“I want to say he would never do that but I can’t. He was always so kind to me, you know? And then all of a sudden he wasn’t. He started to yell at me, and then he started to hit me. I tried talking to him about it but he won’t stop.”

“You realize that that’s abuse right?”

“Yeah but-“

“There are no buts.” Abby said trying to contain her anger. You deserved so much better than that disgusting man.

“But he says he loves me and that I mean the world to him. I can’t give that up.”

“Would you hit someone you love?” She asked.

“Well,” you tried to respond.

“Would you?”

“No.” You said quietly.

“You’re going to have to break up with him then.” She said firmly.

“What if I love him?”

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who hurts you?”

“No.” You say, your voice getting even smaller.

“Then you know what you need to do. You deserve someone who’ll never even think about putting their hands on you. Never ever.” You smiled a small smile and let your hand interlock with hers.

“I’ll make sure you’ll never see him again, okay?”

“Thank you Abs.”

“Always. Is it okay if I get Mel or Nora for your side?”

“Mel, please.” You said, sitting on her couch.

“Okay.” Abby turned to leave but you stopped her suddenly.

“What happened?”

“Can I show you something?” You said suddenly getting very nervous and picking at the skin on your thumb.

“Yeah, of course.” You nod and start to take off your pants to reveal horrendously dark bruising on your legs going up to your crotch with cuts littering the space. Abby gasped and was so horrified she could cry.

“Oh my god…” You looked down.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll get you all the help you need, okay?” Before you can respond, there is a knock on the door and you jump. You scramble to decide whether to show Mel or not but the look on Abby’s face gives you your answer. You go to talk but you just burst into tears uncontrollably. You slump on the couch and hide your face as she lets Mel in. You look up at Abby and Mel and Mel’s jaw just drops looking at you. You start to cry again as Mel starts to work on your wounds and Abby holds your hand the entire time.

“What happened to her?” Mel asks going to get more supplies. Abby explains and Mel’s face drops. Mel continues to treat your injuries and Abby stays by your side the entire time. When Mel eventually leaves, you and Abby sit in silence for a bit.

“You okay?”

“I will be.” You say as Abby gives you a comforting hug.

“I’m gonna break up with him.” You whisper in her ear still hugging her muscular body.

“I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Thank you. So much. For everything.”

“Still it’s nothing. I love you.” You smile.

“I love you too.” She releases you from her embrace and asks,

“Want to stay here again tonight?”

“Please.”

[ofmanycol0rs]

↶*ೃ✧˚. Hello everyone! Welcome back to another video with LuckieDuckie. Today we will be discussing Rainbow Entertainment’s Best Eras!

As a disclaimer so people don’t come for me in the comments: this is in no particular order. I’m not ranking these eras, just factually stating that they are the best. Also, if you don’t agree with me, I don’t care. Keep it to yourself, I don’t want to see a million comments like “Duckie! Where’s blah blah? Where’s… Chu?” It’s up your [redacted]. Don’t try and tell me I’m wrong either because respectfully… I’m not. Anyway.

Starting off strong, we have LOVE DIVE!

LOVE DIVE! Is That Girl for a reason. Not only was she literally SOTY (4 times btw), but she had the vibes to back it up. I was a big fan of the ethereal cupid aesthetics they had going on and the styling just always looked so expensive. I’m a Chaehee stan, but Blue’s Hime Cut look was literally unmatched. Even the b-sides went crazy this era, with the iconic Sour Grapes taking over everyone’s For You pages. This song was actually inescapable for months, so of course this era had some iconic moments too. My personal favorite moment was Summer’s solo live ban being instated after she called Angelico’s Jinhwa a “fucking weirdo” in front of 45 million Dream. Free her tbh, she did nothing wrong!

Next up… Neverland’s Sugar Rush!

This song was so addicting honestly, the concept, the vocals, the dance, the silly little whistle chorus, it all ate down. We all know where we were when those shirtless concept pics dropped. The whole Peter Pan vibe obviously went with their concept as a whole, but how do I get to that woodland raver’s paradise? Where do I buy tickets? One thing about Neverland is they’re throwing a party and I need an invite. Speaking of parties, the iconic MakoDae club pics dropped this era. All I’m saying is that you can’t prove the girl throwing ass on Mako isn’t me.

Next, we have my favorite Eunji era, Forgive Me.

Honestly, I don’t really stan Eunji like that. I won’t deny that she is the superior Golden Goose producer, of course. But I don’t know all that much about her. What I do know is that whoever this song is about is going straight to hell. She ate them up, your honor! The rock instrumentals had me so shaken when I first listened to this song that I couldn’t stop listening to this song. Ginger Eunji in her rockstar era was peak cunt, The Revenge Era was so serious for her. Not to mention, this song had the most iconic performance of all time. If you haven’t seen it yet, immediately look up Eunji Halloween Bash Forgive Me Carrie. It will change your life. Miss girl is a performer.

Next up is one of Lucky’s most iconic eras, which is difficult to say because they’re all so iconic, I know… but I mean Ping-Pong! 

This era could get the title solely from the styling. So many people love to hate it, but they just do not see the camp of it all! The bright pink and blue hair duo lives in my head constantly. I fear Kpop may never see styling so creative and unique again… Someone please rescue Hidae from 4Luvs because they are literally the most hated duo even though they make the cuntiest comebacks! I need them back together asap. Not to mention, these two have the best chemistry. And who could forget the iconic Twister video dropped this era. This video was so divisive among fans but I personally think they looked like they were having a lot of fun answering all the questions while playing Twister. We all know how those two treat competitions and they were undeniably getting flirty up in there, liiiike…

The Song of the Summer is up next… La Vie’s Fruit Salad!

This song is It. One of Rainbow’s most iconic songs by far. I don’t think there’s a single kpop stan out there that doesn’t know this song or even this dance. Honestly, they were the queens of summer before, but this song just solidified their title and made them simply unbeatable. No one else can ever wear the crown when this song exists. The concept and styling is also so perfect, one of my favorites out of La Vie, with the bright colors and quintessential summer vibes. Red-haired Tomi still rules my heart, honestly, and Sohee’s baby bangs were so quirky and cute. One of my favorite variety shows from RBE also comes from this era, I find myself rewatching Lovie’s Fruit Stand all the time. I think it’s so nice to see them getting time to rest and doing fun summer activities together, and its just so nostalgic to me.

Next we have Roly Poly by XOX!

Listen… I know they were flops. But they served with this one, I can't lie! They had no budget, no fans, and no future. All they had was a dance floor and a dream, and yet they still had fun with it. This was the age of camp and techno and XOX ran with it. And in doing so, they created every single RBE idol’s go-to karaoke song. It almost seems like an inside joke at the company because there is at least 2 videos of every single group covering or dancing to this song. And now she’s made her way on to TikTok and the legacy lives on. Everyone say RIP XOX, you will always be famous. Kind of.

Up next is Thee Lucid! Era… TOMBOY!

This is their most iconic era by far and if you think I’m wrong then argue with the wall or something. The song, the styling, the lyrics, the message, the music video, the performances, the moments… need I go on? I fear they ate the whole industry up with this comeback and the industry knew it too! I guarantee you that every single one of yall’s favs was caught doing this dance. Just the sheer amount of people, specifically men, that this song pissed off already puts her high up on my cuntiest songs roster and that was before they went on national television and said fuck! Speaking of fuck, Lucid! did not give a single one this era. My personal favorite Blue moment happened this era when sasaengs leaked pictures of her and Youngho leaving practice for together before their collab stage dropped and sparked dating rumors, and the Next Day she posted “ew wtf? him of all men?” on her public Instagram story on accident… which then started a nuclear fan war on Twitter. Dare I say; iconic. The Tomboy vibes had possessed the whole group I fear, because even Chaehee got man-hating rumors after she ignored Haruki’s hand to help her down the steps at a music show. Not to mention, Minji’s rap verse got so much shit and yet every single time she took her cutesy ass to center stage and ate down. I could literally go on and on about how much I love this era for hours, so if you want to hear more, click the link in the description for my full explanation on why it was the best era kpop has seen from the fourth generation.

Anyway. Next up is La Vie’s Fancy You!

This era was directly after Fruit Salad which means they had a tough act to follow… yet they absolutely came through. They were giving galactic space princesses, rulers of the cosmos, sparkling amongst the stars. Basically… they served. Tomi and Mari’s pink and purple hair duo is still one of my favs and don’t even get me started on the styling. Gogo boots and sequins and hot shorts, god. It was so cunty. And this era isn’t one of their best just because of the concept (even though that is one of their best too) but the vibes. The song and instrumental produced by the iconic ROZE Mari duo that gags to this day. It seems like every 6 months the song is back on TikTok for its cunty instrumentals or choreography. The Anya Kai dating rumors first started this era and you really just had to be there. The entire kpop world imploded on itself. Speaking of Anya Kai dating rumors, my favorite Sol video of all time is from this era in her cute blue highlights making a face in the back of an interview when Kai is brought up… EXO-Ls came for her for weeks until she finally took to Twitter to tell them she doesn’t give a shit about boy groups and their stans with internalized misogyny complexes! If that’s not mother I don’t know who is.

Next, we have DAZED, a Neverland classic.

Remember when I said that one thing Neverland is gonna do is throw a party? Well this is That Party. Out of all 130 million views of this mv, I’m probably 26 million of them. It’s so addicting with the concept and the cinematography… like what are you doing if you show up to this hot guy’s rager birthday party and find out that him and his friends are faeries after you drink their wine and dance for eternity? The ACoTaR girlies (me) went wild for this one, let me tell you. I loved the way they took their whole Neverland Lost Boys concept and twisted it to give us faeries which totally works but it’s also something new? They gave the girls what they want! Howie absolutely owned this era, especially after an edit of him as Rhysand went viral and he had to google the series on live when people asked him about it. I still think about that clip of him saying “What do you mean fairy porn?” every single day.

Finally, last but certainly not least, is the best Rainbow era of all time. NEW WAVE.

I know I said I wasn’t ranking them and all that and that is still true, but… this era is inarguably the best out of all of them so I had to put it last. And of course I'm not biased just because I ult Lucky. I’m convinced that Jung Jisoo tried acid for the first time and then came up with this concept based off of that. And I support it. She was Euphoria before her time, a true masterpiece of neon glitter and debauchery. If I could pick one place anywhere on the space time continuum to live out the rest of my days, it would be the set of this mv. They were literally taking shots in the making video. This song was nearly banned from broadcasts and I’m still surprised that Lucky hasn’t had one of their songs banned yet. Queens Eunbi and Jisoo just know the exact line between cunt and can’t, I guess. This era gave the vibes of the early 2000s club craze tabloid era in the best way both in the concept and for the members. The rumor mill was working over time going after them! Angel was accused of sleeping with fans and cheating on Jennie even though the dating rumors didn’t exist until after the cheating rumors? Sunnie’s gay rumors started this era, although she has since been pretty clear that they weren’t just rumors, LOL. Even baby Han got into one of his first scandals after he got caught with a pack of cigs in his back pocket. The most groundbreaking scandal this era though, one of the only times Lucky has had to issue an apology over the years despite being notorious for saying fuck it, Hiro’s infamous AKB video. Iconic or not, it had impact! But it wasn’t just bad things that came out of this era, of course. It was their most successful ot4 comeback, winning 8 music show wins and PAK as a full group. Plus, they still make room for it on every set list, so they clearly feel the same way about it as 4luvs do. You cannot deny that this era is the most iconic eras of both Lucky and RBE as a whole.

Thank you for tuning in to this video everyone! Feel free to comment below which of these you think is best, or even another one I didn't mention, I guess. But I don't want to see any fighting about it!

Til next time! Mwah!!

find more mentions of jinhwa in the myahverse @venusvity and haruki at @intoloopin !!

[chocotonez]

“bad day?” (txt)

a/n: hopefully the self indulgence isn’t obvious in this one </3, also thank you so so so much for 250+ followers! it’s absolutely mind boggling that I’ve gotten so much support, I’m so happy to know that many people enjoy my writing! I’m so incredibly thankful to have so many amazing people support me :)

warnings: cussing, crying, txt is comforting u after a bad day, reader can’t express their feelings in kai’s, listened to lizzo while writing this so it’s not that sad

yeonjun

-immediately realizes something’s off the second you open the door to your apartment

-he was there 2 bring you dinner and he honestly wasn’t even planning on staying but your ~~vibes~~ were just TOO off!!

-becomes a private investigator, probably subtly checks your private social media stories to see if you complained about anything during the day and not so subtly brings it up

-“hahaha so any weird peers that pissed you off because-“

-realizes you probably just want comfort and is like oh don’t worry bb <3

-I think he’ll say “chill” in that GRATING ABSOLUTELY MONTONE DEADPAN PATRONIZING tone the first few times there were bad bumps in ur relationships but over time he learns to comfort u and how to best communicate w u :]

-lets you rant and listens, never gives you unprompted advice and likes to make stupid innuendos to make u feel a teensy weensy bit better

-needs to see you at least smile once

-will hold and rock you in his arms while you sob your heart out, cooing and playfully calling you his baby

-says he’s not a simp but will run to the nearest convenience store because you wanted a specific snack and he just wants to make his baby happy <3

-even if no problems were fixed, as long as you go to sleep happy, satisfied, and okay, he’s okay <3

soobin

-I feel like he texts you in regular intervals during the day asking if ur okay, so he knows before u get home because you spent your whole lunch break ranting about your day :0

-manages to SCRAMBLE home b4 you to run a hot bath (after nearly breaking down in a self care store because how the hell were there so many options for a bath bomb), make dinner (he heated up takeout), and some flowers from the local grocery store <2

-it meant the world to you though, you got to cry in a bathtub while eating takeout and complaining to Soobin about how horrible everything is and u just wanna curl up in a ball and like cry

-he’s nodding and listening the whole way through, offers advice and reassurance, he’s no therapist but he somehow helps talk you through ever incoherent sad thought u have

-he’s very grounding as well, if he recognizes you’re overreacting he’ll try to like…make you think straight LMAO

-he’s so…comforting….he can just sit there and you’ll feel okay around him, it’s one of his best traits.

-lets u hold Odi or shows you cute odi pics if ur rlly sad, talks about the stupid shit beomgyu did today, he wants you to think of happy things, he doesn’t want you to sit on a problem 4 too long

-once it’s fixed, put it behind you! he’ll do everything to get you out of ur little rut, the light at the end of the tunnel <3

-sobbing. he probably sends motivational gifs like the dork he is </3

-once you’re both in bed and u thank him for being the best boyfriend in the world, he’ll just kiss the crown of your head and hold you closer

-he’ll take on any problem with you, for you

beomgyu

-dawg doesn’t even realize ur upset and accidentally pokes a bit too far

-he’s kinda sensitive and he notices u came home very resigned and quiet, so he worries he didn’t something wrong or ur ignoring him, so he kinda annoys you by poking and tickling u until u literally start crying and he feels like the worst boyfriend ever

-immediately cradles u and is panicking wondering what to do and he’s just like “I’m so sorry baby, I’m sorry, are you okay? Did something happen? Was it me?”

-wikihow 2 comfort ur romantic partner is the first thing in his search history tbh

-once he realizes thank god it wasn’t him who made you cry, just a bad day, he is here to save the day!! he pops on your favorite show/movie, gets your snacks, and holds u all close and snuggly till you fall asleep

-if you want to talk, he suggests going on a walk. he’ll hold your hand the entire time, or he’ll find a playground and you two will sit on the swings while u let it all out

-he wants you to feel heard, but he mainly just wants to see u smile, so he’ll do his best to take your mind off it. he’ll play games w u, tell you stupid stories, make dumb jokes, etc etc…

-he’ll stay up all night w u until you feel better, except he might accidentally fall asleep during an episode of your favorite show and when you wake him up he’ll be like “I was awake the whole time!! tf!!”

-sigh. what a loser (endearingly)

-at the end of the day, all he wants is for you to completely forget about your day and just focus on having a super great rest of your night!

taehyun

-he’s very emotionally intelligent, so not only does he pick up on it, he works to fix it almost immediately

-he’s kinda pushy but in a healthy way, doesn’t let you run from your problems especially if you can fix them

-but he knows when he needs to push you and when he needs to just lie stagnant with you, reassures u it’s okay to sit on your problems, you have time! use it!

-lays on the floor with you and lets u rant and cry, you don’t really have the energy to climb to the couch and he doesn’t wanna force you any more than necessary

-“man, you will not believe what this bitch said to me, she said-“ and he’ll back you tf up “what did that bitch say??”

-but he’s kinda mean and will make u recognize when you’re being the problem, but he’ll always side w you if that makes sense?? Like, he’ll tell you that you’re the one causing trouble, but he’ll also be like “that’s ok tho bb you deserve the world”

-at some point he just picks u up and drops you on the bed, helps you change n stuff, and just holds you. it’s comforting and quiet, but his hugs r healing I swear

-rubs soothing circles into your back and strokes your hair, the sound of your heartbeat lulling you to sleep, GAWD youve reached true peace

-tells you that everything will be okay rather than everything is okay cuz he recognizes problems in the moment like that </3 love him

-also if ur NOT the problem and that coworker Vanessa is causing problems he will not hesitate to shit talk someone he’s never met!!

-but at the end of the day, he’s just this big supportive rock you can always lean on

-he reminds you he’s always there for you, even when you’re being a little bit silly teehee

hyuka

-kinda suspects something’s up but doesn’t want to push you, he gets that some people need their space. but when it’s starting to interfere with your night routine and you keep shooting down all his attempts at asking if ur okay, it’s time to bring out the big guns

-there are no big guns. he just wants you to feel safe enough to talk, and if you don’t want to talk because you a.) don’t know how to express itself or b.) you don’t want to, he’ll still comfort you

-but like, casually…yknow? sends you funny tik toks, cuddles you 10x more, brushes your hair for you, etc…But it doesn’t feel patronizing, not from him

-kai just has this angel energy so it doesn’t feel like he’s pitying you, it just feels like you’re having a fun night :>, he’ll do clay face masks w u and paint ur nails and gossip about the latest news, let’s you cuddle any one of his plushies and kisses you all over ur face because you look adorable

-if you feel ready to talk, then ok! he’s here to listen! probably not the best at giving advice, but he really makes it a point to make you feel heard at least. he wants you to know he’s there for you, even if he kinda struggles w it :,)

-at the end of ur extra fun night, he’ll reassure you and tell you how much he loves you, he hopes all this will give u a base for a better day tmrw

-falls asleep holding you tight, giving you lazy kisses from time to time

-he just wants you to feel loved and happy <3

[ovaruling]

hey girl! happy to—the buccal fat removal was pretty simple compared to the other surgeries, but it was still very painful. as i understand it, the surgeon made incisions on the inside of both of my cheeks, and entered that way, and sucked out the “buccal fat yolk,” as he called it. he explained to me that there’s a pouch of fat there that is yolk-like, and does not usually disappear, even with dramatic weight loss, except in cases of extreme malnutrition where there is no reserve left. that’s how he put it, anyway.

so, he essentially stabbed inside my cheeks through up where the “cheek fat” was, just under my cheekbones, and sucked the fat through those incisions and stitched them from the inside. it was, as i said, extremely painful, and eating and drinking was very difficult for a long time. the scars are inside my cheeks and i can still feel them if i run my tongue over them.

the entire cheek area on both sides, inside and out, is mostly numb. sort of like… when Novocain has started to wear off at the dentist.

but i get sudden, electrifying wallops of pain where the buccal fat used to be at completely random times. i get at least one or two a day. it is pretty agonizing, ngl. it feels like instantaneous nerve pain, if you’ve ever had a dentist nick a nerve on a sensitive tooth. it runs through the cheek into my sinuses and down into my gums and it takes my breath away. when these episodes first started happening i genuinely thought i was having a stroke.

i get a lot of migraines now (brow and temple) and my jaw sits really uncomfortably—i’m always having to bite my inner cheeks or suck my cheeks in manually, or else they become fatigued.

a good experiment is—try to hold your mouth open as long as you can. just—open like a crocodile. as wide as you can go, until your cheeks reach the utmost point of fatigue. that’s what it feels like all the time if i try to relax my face—unless i am constantly drawing in my cheeks or making a “duck face,” my cheeks feel fatigued. i don’t know why—maybe they’re strained without the fat there to support them. collapsing, i guess.

it’s really uncomfortable tbh. i’ve gotten used to it, but it sucks.

and it just looks weird as hell too. all it did was age me and make me look dehydrated and starved.

ykw, i guess it really has affected how i do everything with my mouth and facial expressions. they all had to change in some way to accommodate the new “dimensions.” i wish i could show a before and after pic, bc i had a ton of nice healthy buccal fat and now i just look soooo hollowed out and honestly i look so bad lol. i smile differently, i make all my expressions differently. what feels “natural” is kind of weird—cheeks sucked in manually, or lips sucked into my mouth manually. biting of upper and lower lips into the mouth. just… a constant need to draw the face inward to relieve the cheek fatigue.

which leads me to say that once again there does not seem to be a resting position for my face anymore. it’s a neverending strain on the cheek muscles. maybe that’ll change over time—or maybe i’ll strengthen the cheek muscles with facial yoga, idk. but for now it’s a constant nagging need to keep my cheeks sucked in or my lips drawn into my mouth, like this…

…so that they’re supported in some way from the fatigue. idk, it’s really weird. hate it.

the sudden pains are pretty bad too esp bc i never know when they’ll happen. there’s no trigger, really, but i have noticed that cold or hot drinks/foods mean they’ll happen within the half hour. the worst is when they happen WHILE i’m drinking hot coffee or am mid-chew in food. i’ve almost choked a few times that way, lol. super annoying.

that’s all i can think of for now! hopefully that helps a bit. please feel free to ask any specific questions i didn’t answer!

[fairycosmos]

(I’m sending it again just once in case u didn’t see it before. I won’t send anymore just in case you don’t want to answer 💘)

Do you have any tips for having fun alone out of the house? I’ve been going on walks but because I’ve struggled with agoraphobia in the past I p much always go to the same park instead of trying to find new places close by. I kind of need to know where I’m going so I feel at ease, which maybe kills them whimsy of a walk lol I’ve been thinking of going to watch a movie on my own, which I’ve never done, and maybe visiting public libraries and bookshops I haven’t been to yet. Anyway, only thing I probably wouldn’t do is go out to eat cause I hate eating in public (unless it’s a lil snack, that would be fine), but other than that I’m very open! Thank u angel 💫💗🪸

hi sorry i didn't see this the first time! very proud of ya for getting out there and taking these steps, it's not easy but it's always sooooooo worth it. i cant remember taking a walk/trip i've ever regretted, especially when i'm just hanging on my own. i think the movies, library and bookshops are all wonderful ideas!! you know what i do sometimes, i just look on google maps for things to do in my vicinity and then i plan a short excursion around it, like i super low pressure and low key, i just dip in to check it out. coffee shops, parks, local classes and community centers, museums are a good one, nature trails, shopping centers, you could go and get your hair done, maybe see some local live music. hell even a gym, just to get used to being around people again, and to get out there. i felt so silly when i started doing this at first, like some sort of robot trying to participate in regular human activities, often i still do. and it takes a lot of energy out of me, i can't manage it often tbh. but getting out of my head is so fucking important for my mental health it's insane. moving through the world and seeing that it's much much much muchhh bigger than me and my worries and just being a person and not a pair of eyes sleeping or crying or looking at a screen. it can feel like a lot of pressure, but once you've done it a few times it kinda becomes something to look forward to. and if i'm not in the mood i just tell myself i will stay for 10 minutes and then head home, like i'm always aiming to be super flexible and gentle with myself so i don't get discouraged from trying at all. something else that helps me get out of the house is taking headphones for the walk, and also taking my phone/camera to take pretty pics on my way along. just makes it feel a little easier and more fun because sometimes just leaving the house at all exhausts me. but honestly i have no hang ups on doing things alone and you shouldn't either - time spent with yourself is still time spent with the world etc etc. any effort you make is absolutely going to pay off, sometimes just in a short term way, sometimes in a long term way, and sometimes both! much love, i hope you're able to find a routine that works for you. <3

[nalyra-dreaming]

A person on Twitter implied that the girl who was in the theater (working I assume) and shared Lestat's pic is in trouble. I don't know if there is truth to it but in any case I don't think it's right to blame the fandom (I've seen people answering "I'm done with this fandom!") It's obvious that if you put something like this on ig for everybody to see, people will share and go wild about it and you can't blame them.

You know … they (AMC, cast, crew) have either talked to their people - or they haven’t. These people either can post or not. Know they will get into trouble - or not.

Obviously Levan, Luke, Kphagnasay etc etc can post. And meet people. And take photos with people. Talk to people. And sometimes a post is removed again, when people catch on. (Which is in and by itself interesting, isn’t it^^)

But everyone currently on the internet should know that it can get away from you if you put it out there… I mean the show even had Daniel tell us 😅

I don’t know if the OP will get in trouble. Will kphagnasay get in trouble? Or Levan? Maura (maybe)?

There are people in this fandom with the stance that nothing should be shared for fear of there being repercussions, and that is totally fine. And, for their pics, and if they were asked, that is up to them, I have said so before.

There is also the aspect of things being shared that were shared.

Like.. if that is what makes you want to quit the fandom… then please. I mean… 🤷🏽‍♀️

I know that there are more photos. People have been accused of gatekeeping for not posting them. (And I have been clear about my support for their decision not to share those as well!)

But. Not everyone adheres to the same rules, obviously. And if someone decides to share… then that is their decision.

Hating on people who reblog what is there is stupid though, and unfair imho.

AMC didn’t mind spoilers this much with TWD iirc, and I don’t know where this supposed spoiler law re IWTV comes from (these are no script or episode leaks after all, which is a whole different caliber), because if they didn’t want anything to leak they wouldn’t allow people on sets. At all. It’s that easy. And they would give long speeches to people. Make them sign long contracts. Hell, >I< have had to sign such contracts for my job.

So.

I don’t quite get the fuss tbh.

And… Taking a preemptive stance on someone else‘s behalf without actually knowing if they might get into trouble seems eerily holier than thou for me.

All this said, big props to the Prague guys for keeping this under wraps for so long btw, because something like THIS - had to leak through eventually.

There’s just no way this wouldn’t leak at some point 😅

[kyluxtrashpit]

Another old cat health ramble. Just cause sometimes I need to write things out

She’s still doing surprisingly well considering how increasingly unsettling she looks (if you follow me on twitter and open the sensitive content warnings, you know what she looks like - it’s spooky. I don’t post pics here cause there’s no real easy way to censor so it’s an opt in if you want to see her current state or not). And I think the cancer has definitely spread to her inner ear, as her balance problems are getting worse. She wobbled so bad she just about did a somersault yesterday when licking the hairball goo I give them every night off her front leg. Sometimes she rubs the area and it’s not great but it’s still manageable and it seems more like it just feels uncomfy sometimes (which I try to alleviate with the lubricant, but she doesn’t love that either so. Delicate balance)

But despite all that, she’s still so full of life and seemingly pain free. She still plays, eats, snuggles - if you covered up the affected part of her face and chocked the occasional wobble up to her being old or something, you’d never know there was anything wrong with her. She’s still so happy and tbh it. Doesn’t really make sense that she’s doing so well

Like I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth here but. It is strange. I expected her to be worse by now and I figured her even living to see october was a 50/50 shot. I had been hoping she’d last until this weekend, as it’s a long weekend, and unless anything goes downhill super quickly (which is absolutely possible), she’s going to sail right through without an issue. November? I don’t think it’ll happen based on the historical rate of growth from month to month but. She’s also really barely declined. The tumour is notably bigger and her balance is off but. That’s it

Idk I should be happy she’s doing so well but I can’t help but like. Feel on edge about it. Like whatever’s going to happen is going to be a really quick decline. She could pass suddenly in her sleep at any time too, or her heart could just stop or a blot clot or so many other things that would be sudden and instant. And while a long, slow deterioration is it’s own hell, so is a quick one that you don’t have the chance to prepare for. There’s no good way for it to happen but. Idk. It just makes me nervous that she’s still doing so well even though I know I should be grateful and cherishing it

Idk. There’s no real point here, it’s mostly a ramble. I feel like I’ve been preparing for it to happen any day for months, have been already mourning her for all this time. But she’s still kicking and is basically the same as she always is. And I’m happy for that, I truly truly am, but idk, I can’t help but think it’s a sign that when the time does come, there will be little to no warning. And while it sucks no matter how it happens, idk, I just can’t help being on edge about that because it still sucks, but there is at least some comfort in having at least some warning

[gunsatthaphan]

Hi, Doreen.

I saw that anon ask about FK's chemistry and wanted to add my two cents.

My take on it is somewhat similar to yours, Doreen, but slightly different. Basically, I believe that (like any actor pair in the BL industry) they do amp things up for the fans to an extent because that's (unfortunately) a part of the job. However, I don’t think the emotional stuff (like the crying) is a performance. Do I think them answering a suggestive question in a slightly flirty manner at a fan meeting is fanservice? Yes. Do I think them posting pics together on social media almost every day is done for the fans? Yes. (Btw, this doesn't mean they wouldn't hang out if they weren't in a BL couple, but they certainly wouldn't have done it as often or post pics of it all the time.)

But I think whenever they actually talk about the deeper stuff, it's genuine and not just fanservice and I especially think so when it comes to the crying. Well, tbh, idk about Khao because he's harder for me to read (I think it's because he gives off chill/nonchalant vibes and people like that have always been hard for me to read whether they're genuine or not) but First just reads very authentic to me. Of course he's still going to keep certain things private (as he should) but the things that he does share about himself are genuine imo. The thing about getting emotional/crying about his bestie is: Would he have done it if the two of them weren't an established BL pair? No, of course not. Not because he doesn’t genuinely care, but because why would he ever give his friendships a deeper thought? Because why would any of us? I certainly don't go around evaluating what my best friends really mean to me unprompted. But if suddenly I had people (interviewers, fans, possibly management/other gmmtv staff too) barraging me with questions and prompts about what my bestie means to me or how I'd feel if they were gone from my life, it sure as hell would make me think about that stuff and probably get emotional. And that's without the added circumstance of me suddenly spending most of my time with that person now for work (work that sometimes involves kissing them on top of that). To me it seems incredibly plausible that all of that shared experience and time spent together makes you closer and your friendship stronger. And while, yes, those emotional moments are definitely goaded out of them by staff/interviewers/etc. it doesn’t mean that makes them an act. Sure, they wouldn't start bawling unprompted but the feelings are still there, you know? Just becaise they needed a push, it doesn't mean they're fake.

And yeah, I agree they were definitely more awkward at the start of their journey together as a BL pair because who wouldn't feel and act awkward if they had to act out being in love with their friend and having to kiss them? But do I think the fact that they're not as awkward with it anymore and are more playful about it means they're faking it for the fans? No, I just think with time they got used to it and that's why it doesn't feel as awkward anymore. After you do something for a while, it becomes less weird to you even if it was very weird in the beginning.

I also want to say I actually don't think they're acting all that different now than they did a few years ago. I've seen content of them together back from like 2020 and even earlier (aka before they ever knew they'd be paired up for a series one day) and they were pretty much the same as they are now - bantering all in good fun while also getting sappy at each other and even a little flirty (joking around). They had no reason to do fanservice back then or amp anything up. Which is part of the reason why I believe so strongly that they're not just acting. There's a higher volume of content from them now (for obvious reasons) but the content itself is very similar.

Just for comparison: I don’t think all acting pairs are like this, btw. For example, as much as I like JoongDunk and believe they're definitely genuine friends, I do think they (especially Dunk) love to play things up for the cameras and do things for fansevice a lot. And even in my deepest obsession with Bad Buddy when the series first came out I always felt that there was something about the way Ohm acted in ON interviews/fanmeets/etc. that felt somewhat inauthentic to me. I do believe they're friends (or at least were, idk what's going on now since I don’t follow them anymore) but it always seemed to me like Ohm was forcing things a bit/acting to some extent while Nanon rang genuine to me. But honestly, FK (especially First) are two people from gmmtv who just feel the most genuine to me out of everyone. Maybe that's why I'm so drawn to them.

To bring it back to the anon's original question: Do FK have real romantic chemistry outside of their series? I don’t know about "romantic" chemistry but they definitely have chemistry, period (aka a bond, aka they're close friends). I don’t think they're faking anything, I just think different people see it differently. For example, if you think they give off romantic chemistry specifically but in reality their "chemistry" is platonic, it doesn't mean they were faking romantic chemistry, it just means you interpreted the chemistry they do have in a romantic way for whatever reason. At the same time, many people only ever interpreted that same chemistry as purely platonic.

Anyways, hope this is ok. Just wanted to share my opinion, which at the end of the day is just that - an opinion. The truth is none of us will ever know for sure because we only know these people through a screen. Either way it's always best to just enjoy the content you're given without needless speculation about actual romantic attraction/chemistry.

hi anon!

thank you for this lengthy ask lmao. You make a lot of good points but I think we should keep in mind not to overanalyze real-life relationships so I'm gonna try and keep it short.

Don't get me wrong, I also think they're 100% real about what they do and say and I agree that they're (subjectively speaking) the most genuine people at gmmtv. What I meant is that they're taking the natural chemistry they have and play it up, which, again, is a very normal thing to do so I'm fine with that lol. Nothing they do or imply is fake, it's just magnified for the cameras lol.

I agree about First being authentic with his emotional reactions but that doesn't mean he's not intentionally triggering the tear ducts every now and then lol. He's good at that, exhibit A: every one of his crying scenes lol. But I also agree with you that a lot of his responses are probably circumstantial and that being said I sometimes get the feeling that he feels a little overwhelmed in general. He's not a newbie but he is new to being under the big BL spotlight and evidently that's pressure-inducing. Everyone reacts to these things differently and I think he feels a little unsure about how to act sometimes. Like you said Khao comes across a lot more chill so either he doesn't have the same issues or he's hiding it very well lol.

But anyway my point is I agree that what they have is real but like I said they're inflating it - in a way that still feels very genuine. That plus First being an emotional person as it is results in him having unprompted breakdowns lol. But who are we to judge. These are the things that make him so precious.

I don't want to over-interpret their relationship because that's not the point of being a fan in my opinion and also verges on creepy lol so that all I'm gonna say about this ✌🏻

xxx

[burninlovebutler]

I’m hoping the upcoming Priscilla movie is a nuanced depiction of Elvis’s and Priscilla’s relationship. I think it will be based on Sofia Coppola’s interview and the fact Priscilla is an executive producer but who knows. A lot of the Elvis haters are just hoping the movie portrays him as a monster..

oh LORD

[sorry for being so late replying to this lol ily anon - i LOOOOVE people just speaking their mind in my asks, I WELCOME IT]

i think this was in response to the pic of elvis -nate jacobs from euphoria high- presley picture i posted lol

ok buckle up bc i have STRONG feelings

YEAAAAAAH I AGREE tbh i love priscilla but idk. I want to believe that she'll help make it respectable but ya know

(also ???? the fact that she’s still friendly with AUSTIN even tho he KNOWS she’s endorsing this bs ????? weird as hell)

idk why ANNNYYYONE would sign off on JACOB ELORDI as ELVIS AARON PRESLEY i have no fucking clue - that's absolutely insane to me

ESPECIALLY right after austin's elvis??? what agents signed off on that. i truly believe it's going to be a joke -

why would u put on a opening act AFTER the headliner?

i'm hopin and prayin, crossin my fingers n toes that is doesn't portray him as the monster the haters make him out to be

HOWEVER the fact that they did cast jacob makes me think it will portray him poorly, since he is typecasted and does toxic asshole (i.e. nate jacobs) really well sooooooo

depending on how its reviewed/people say i probably wont even watch it tbh lol

i genuinely won’t be able to NOT see him as nate

also the austin / k / jacob / elvis halloween costumes situation really just doesn't sit right with me

(i understand elvis wasn’t a saint ok don’t come at me w that shit)

(also disclaimer i don’t know a lot about the actual production of the movie etc bc it genuinely makes me nauseous so sorry if i’m not educated lol)

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x10 recap

Hi I loooooooved this episodeeeeeeeeee 

Many thoughts below lol

Okay first things first, I already love this song (Velvet Ring by Big Thief) and it has had many plays on my TCL playlist lol. But ugh Thony alone in the house with her critically ill son, her whole life revolving around administering those meds every 6 hours? This show loves causing me pain haha speaking of which, her IV line has not been correctly primed (to remove air bubbles) and I’m being so brave about it lol  But anyway ngl it makes me giggle a bit that this cake has apparently taken like 12 hours to make lol. Ah, stress baking. We’ve all been there. But omg wait IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY???? Aaaaaaahh I know in 2x05 he said he was ‘almost six’ but I didn’t realise he meant he was only like 2 weeks away from it!! Omg which makes me even more emotional about Thony looking back at him before she left to take the jet to Manila, knowing she might not ever be able to come back ughhh. And then they have their little birthday party, just the two of them– just like it used to be, them against the world while Marco was off doing who knows what– and ugh how hard it must be to go back to that after months of having a loving family surrounding them with Fi and the kids and even Arman? And then ugh the way she smiles at him and blows out the candles for him, even though you can see how much it’s breaking her heart to see him like this? Someone save meee

Okay holy hell I don’t know what inspired this Nadia look but I am INTO IT. We stan a stunning and badass queen. But omg the fact RK keeps all his meds in his office drawer? Seems unlikely for a guy who likes to appear invulnerable. This moment is hilarious though bc she takes a pic of the meds, but most of them are turned so you can’t even read the label? Very helpful lolllll. Of the six pull bottles in the drawer, I can only make out one name clearly, which is Ibuprofen, aka literally an over-the-counter mild painkiller, which he also appears to have been given then incorrect dose of.  He appears to be on a blood thinner which I am extremely curious about, plus something for blood pressure, which is unsurprising tbh lol, given the way he works himself up haha– and speaking of which, he’s taking something for anxiety/agitation lol (definitely unsurprising). It entertains me so much that the pill bottle appears to list the medication as ‘benzodiazepines’ which is actually the drug class, not a specific drug itself lol. Seriously, TCL writers, any chance you want to hire me as your medical advisor?? I'll do it for free!! Hell, I’ll pay you to let me do it lol. Bc as much as I loved this ep, the medical stuff was painful haha. But anyway when Robert comes in, Nadia seems to grab the pill bottle from the far end, which is literally the Ibuprofen– and he tells her they’re too strong for her. Help this is too funny. Also I’ve tried that pressure point before (did it actually help? No idea lol) but it definitely won't help rn bc he’s literally not even putting pressure on the spot? Lol. Honestly I thought he was doing this as an excuse to check her pulse and see if she was hiding something, but his fingers aren’t in the right spot for that either. Bro’s literally just sitting there tenderly holding her hand lol (not that I can blame him lol, I’d do the same). But uh oh the way he reacts to her mention of Arman running the club with her, and his “in my business we eliminate liabilities” line… yeah things definitely ain't looking great for Arman rn. Also sidenote but seriously Robert what is up with that silver clasp on your jacket you look ridiculous. Ask your bae for some style tips please lol

Ugghhhh Fi desperately trying to clean for JD, trying to feel like she’s contributing something and not just being a burden, and also trying to show her appreciation and gratitude in one of the few ways she can. ‘Acts of service’ is definitely one of her love languages ugh. Also omgggg Laura the gf is gooooone (sorry, faceless name-buddy, but I’m on Fi’s side here lol) and aaaaaaaaahhh J-Fi are being all cute and flirty and kissing and omg my ship is sailing???? Honestly this is happening waaay too quick and easy and I’m a little terrified about that, but I’m just going to ignore that dread and enjoy it while I can lol. Also poor man is going to get a crick in his neck having to bend down that far to kiss her lol. He doesn't seem to mind though, and i certainly don't either haha.  But sigh Thony couldn’t you have waited another minute on the cockblocking?? Let your girl get some, bc god knows she deserves it haha. (Ngl Thony deserves it too; hurry up and get your act together, Armony! Take some lessons from J-Fi lol). But ugh JD is just so sweet and understanding and I love him???? I love how happy he makes her. And ‘we’re not done with this’ YEAH GIRL GET IT. (Not exactly sure how you’ll go about that when you’ve got a house full of kids, but I believe in you lol)

(*Casually pretends like I didn’t just spend over an hour photo-editing a screenshot I took of the ‘The Cleaning Ladies’ banner hanging on the wall of their office so I could have a good clear copy of their logo lol*)

Aaaanyways, speaking of the office, the decor is so funny to me, with all the colourful cleaning products perfectly spaced along the walls. Like it looks cute and all but I feel that it just has to be a really inconvenient way for them to be stored when they actually need to be used?? Ngl I also have some things to say about how the meds are arranged/displayed in the clinic part as well but I’m just going to let that slide lol. But oooooh what a beautiful serendipitous occurrence that she and Arman just happen to be there ~alone~ at the same time… like hey you two, I hear there’s a free bed at the back of the clinic??? Just saying lol. But ugh I love that Arman goes from ‘oh shit better deflect quick and hope she doesn’t question why I’m here’, right to ‘wait my Thony-is-upset senses are tingling, must give ALL THE COMFORT’ in like 2 seconds flat lol. Tbh I’ll never be over the incredibly gentle way he looks at her here, or that tiny “Hey, Thony?” that escapes him when he sees her struggling to get the words out. Our boy just hates seeing her hurting ughhh. And then finally he reaches for her just like in 1x06– hands not quite touching her, letting her decide whether to accept his embrace or not– and ugh she steps straight into him, her head pressing against his chest as she cries. And honestly I am obsessed with the fact that she only breaks down like this in front of him?? Even with Fi, she works hard to keep herself fairly together– her voice shakes and her eyes get shiny, but she doesn’t cry, and she’s often the one reassuring Fi that it will all be okay. But with Arman she doesn’t have to hold back, doesn’t have to be the strong one. For those brief few moments, she can just let herself be the one being comforted for once, can let herself simply sink into the comfort of his solid body as he holds her, his cheek resting against her head as he promises her that she’ll get through this. Tbh given that we can’t see her right hand, I’m going to headcanon that it’s in between them,  gripping the edge of his jacket and holding on tight because she can’t actually hold him– not when she (mistakenly, obviously) thinks he’s Nadia’s once more. Which is a big part of the reason why she pulls back again before too long, all too aware of all that’s standing between them, forcing her to have to put up her walls again ugh. Ngl I love how carefully he held her though– in 1x06, he couldn’t stop himself from holding her face, from looking at her mouth, making it clear to her how much he wanted her. Now, they’re obviously both already fully aware of that, just as they’re aware of how complicated things are, and so he keeps his hands only on her back, his grip light, letting her pull away when she’s ready. Though lbr after the shit that these two have been through lately, they both need like an hour-long hug lol (damn I should have pitched that to the writers for the finale lol)

Poor foolish Arman was really hoping he was going to get outta there without her asking him again what he was doing lol. Too bad,  buddy. But ugh you can see him considering the idea of lying to her and keeping her in the dark about his plans– like he did with Nadia in S1 about the gun deal/Mexico stuff etc– but he can’t. After 1x05, he and Thony don’t lie to each other anymore, and so even though he knows she won’t approve, he still tells her. And okay I know that this scene has caused a lot of contention in the fandom– and a lot of hate for Thony, which I’m sad about– but I’m going to come right out and say it: Thony is right, and Arman is wrong. Now before i go any further, let’s not forget that I have been one of Arman’s most vocal supporters in the fandom all season, especially when he was getting hate in the early/middle eps; these huge recaps are literally evidence of how much I love and support my boy haha. And I am still very much his supporter now, and I completely understand why he is becoming desperate to free them all from RK (see my last recap for more about that, since I feel I've already covered his perspective pretty well there). But I have to say that in this case, I am in complete agreement with Thony. So let’s see if I can explain lol.

Okay so firstly let’s talk about Arman's plan to kill RK. He intends to do it by creating a toxic interaction between RK's regular medications and the Digoxin that he just grabbed at the clinic, thus causing a seemingly-natural heart attack without ever having to touch RK. Sounds like a perfect crime! No one will ever know! It’s brilliant, right? Wrong! It’s a terrible plan literally full of flaws. And okay look, I can say with some amount of authority here that with the exact right combination of circumstances– taking into account the medication and dose used, the specific medications the person is on, their pre-existing level of cardiac function and overall health, and also like a huge amount of sheer luck– there is the chance it would work. A very small chance, but sure, it exists. In this situation, however? No way. And Thony, a fucking cardiac surgeon, knows this. Even if Arman manages to succeed with giving RK the Digoxin undetected (a huge risk in itself), then the chance of it interacting with his meds is incredibly low, and the chance of it causing a fatal heart attack is practically non-existent. Thony knows all this, and maybe if she was well-rested and stress-free (instead of sleep deprived and emotionally distraught from caring for her dying child) then she would have been able to explain it to him calmly and in a way that he'd understand. But she’s got no mental space for that, especially when her mind is immediately equating the loss of RK with the loss of Luca’s meds– aka, her only chance of saving Luca's life. Because, remember, he is DYING. Like actively dying as we speak. If that fluid around the lungs keeps building up, his lungs won’t be able to take in the amount of oxygen needed to supply his body, and he’ll go into multi-organ failure and die. And that’s not to mention that his liver is already failing– if she can’t counteract that soon with the meds, then draining the fluid won’t help. He’ll die from the flood of toxins being released from his diseased liver, much of which will invade his brain, creating irreversible and fatal damage. And okay I’m sorry I know I’m getting grim here, but I have literally watched people die from this multiple times, because once it gets past a certain point, even an entire medical team can’t help. And I don’t doubt that Thony has seen it happen many times too, and so knows exactly the horrible fate that Luca is heading towards– and yet people are really out here judging her for doing whatever it takes to stop it from happening????? Guys. Guys.

Like okay I absolutely do believe that Arman intends to get her the drugs asap (even though he did a terrible job of actually communicating that intention to her), and I'm sure that he’s confident he can definitely make it happen– but honestly it doesn’t matter.  The risk is just too goddamn high, because if even just one thing goes wrong– and based on his-less-than-airtight plan, it almost definitely will– then the meds will be lost, and Luca is dead. And possibly Arman is too, if he gets caught by RK. Honestly Arman is too blinded by his need to be free of RK to be able to see how flawed his plan is and how grave the consequences could be. He’s also blinded by the hurt and anger he feels when Thony demands “With what money? What resources?” because it makes him feel like she doesn't trust him, and that his money and connections were all that actually mattered to her– not him– and that now that there’s someone else who has far more of both, he’s been tossed aside. Which is absolutely not true (dude, she loves you, you idiot), but it still hits right on target of one of Arman’s main character flaws: his fear that he is only valued or wanted by others because of what he can give them, and that if he can no longer provide those things, then he will be deemed worthless and abandoned. It’s been fascinating to see that trait become more overt this season, but man does it lead to him making some goddamn questionable decisions lol. Ugh but anyway, I feel like I’ve ranted about this for long enough, so TLDR: Thony is right to try to stop Arman, and it’s not her fault that she didn’t necessarily handle the conversation well, especially considering it was abruptly sprung on her when she’s already practically at her breaking point because her child is dying and she is devoting every ounce of energy she has into trying to keep that from happening. Fight me on it lol

Ok this big bald guy better be careful, Thony is having the week from hell and tbh could snap at any moment haha. I think we can all assume he’s definitely there because RK wants her to know that he’s watching, that he holds the power here and that she can’t escape, but I kinda hope that it also is a little bit because he values her now and wants her (or okay, maybe his investment in her) protected from Sin Cara? 

And then oooh Nadia has a guard too (again, for protection, but also because RK is possessive as fuck lol) and I appreciate that he at least didn’t even try to stop Arman going to see her? Tbh I could have believed RK giving the order that Arman is to be kept away from Nadia, but he probably didn’t want to upset her by doing that. But omg okay hold up, Arman is making Nadia dose RK? Holy shit, this is further evidence that Arman really is acting like a cornered animal and not thinking things through, bc he would normally have never put her at risk like that. He would have used her to get the info he needed, like what drugs RK is on, and maybe to create a distraction, but he would do the risky bit himself. “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you and it’s not going to come down to that” you can’t promise that!!! Your plan is so full of holes you could use it as a fishing net! And omg "just put enough of these in his drink to stop his heart" oh yeah and do you know how many that is, Arman?? Do you??? I can guarantee Nadia doesn’t! Plus there's no certainty that the drug will even have that effect on his heart!! This plan is the worst aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! But ugh at least he has actually taken clear steps to find Luca’s meds and get access to them– and omg the helpless look on his face when Nadia realises that the meds he's so determined to get are for Thony, and the way he tells her it's not up for debate?? That was hot. But see this is what he needed to make clear to Thony at the clinic, that he was actually actively in process of getting the meds and that he wasn’t going to kill RK until after he had them. Unless maybe it was their argument that made him realise how urgent the situation was and so he stepped up his meds-acquisition plans to show her that he could be relied upon and that he wouldn’t do anything that might endanger Luca. Who knows. 

Curious about why Thony did a peritoneal tap (draining the abdomen) rather than a pleural tap (draining the chest), considering Luca's abdomen didn't look at all distended/swollen, but lbr it was probably just easier to film lol. Also the ‘dressing’ she put on would be practically useless in preventing fluid leakage or the infiltration of bacteria, but whatevs lol. It was cool getting to see his Chevron incision from the surgery– ngl I’d wondered which kind of incision she’d used (oh, the things I think about lol).

Honestly I’m surprised Garrett didn’t immediately go track Arman down and bring him in the moment he saw that partial print, but I guess Russo is managing to keep him under control for now. (Since it’s at least the day after they matched the print, I’m curious about what he did when he got home– get drunk and stare at Maya’s photo or something? Or did he stay late at the office trying to find more evidence begot finally going home to crash?). But lol at his theory that Arman killed Maya bc he found out she was an informant, and was worried she would rat him out– for what, lol? Arman and Maya literally never met until the night he shot her, and he had nothing to do with Cortes’ whole cartel thing until the FBI made him get involved. Maya would have known absolutely nothing about Arman or any of his activities. Also slight sidenote but I find it so funny that they never tied Hayak’s death to him– like clearly the autopsy would have found the puncture mark in his neck, and so the next logical step is to check the camera footage for everyone who had been in the infirmary lately and might have gotten access to needles? And if they'd done that, they would have seen who had just been in there earlier for a check of the wounds he received after being attacked by inmates who were clearly hired by someone with lots of money? C'mon detectives. This is not a hard one lol. But sigh anyway, I’ll forgive this show for a plothole or two– especially one like this, because Arman getting pinned for Hayak’s murder and spending his life in jail would have been very inconvenient for my Armony shipping plans lol. But hmm ok Russo does seem genuinely determined to get RK and everyone he’s connected to, so maybe my conspiracy theory is a little crazy lol. Oh well, it was a fun thought

You know it surprises me how much I actually love Thony/Nadia scenes. There’s obviously tension there– resentment from Nadia, guilt from Thony, and jealousy from both sides– but idk, they’re oddly united by the simple fact that they both love Arman. I’d also like to think that it was a deliberate costuming choice in this scene that they are both wearing blue rn– which has been the colour most associated with Arman through the show (for Nadia it’s green, and for Thony it’s obviously red) but that’s probably just me imagining things lol. But so anyway, I love that Nadia could have had her big security guy immediately throw Thony out, but instead she wordlessly led her to the office where they could talk. Ngl though I did giggle at her ‘well that’s progress’ line when Thony said Arman wasn’t answering her calls. The snark is strong with this one lol. But ugh their argument is amazing for so many reasons? Thony begging for Nadia’s help, knowing she has no right to, but doing it anyway because there’s literally nothing she won’t do to save Luca. Nadia clearly feeling a reluctant pity for Thony even despite her anger. Thony trying not to react to the way Nadia keeps using ‘we’ to refer to herself and Arman like they’re a single unit. Nadia getting pissed at Thony for working with RK and ‘betraying’ Arman, which is exactly what Thony got pissed at her for doing only a few eps ago. Nadia clearly now believing that Thony just uses people to get what she wants and then discards them (making the point by referring to RK as being Thony’s ‘hero’ now, after having called Arman that multiple times in previous eps)– a belief which would then make her even angrier that Thony destroyed their marriage seemingly for nothing. And– maybe because of that– Nadia deliberately not mentioning that Arman is literally out getting Luca’s meds for her right now. Then there's Thony’s instant and strong reaction when Nadia accuses her of not caring what happens to Arman, and then going quiet and clenching her jaw at the genuine worry and certainty in Nadia’s voice when she says RK is going to kill Arman, and the way she then leaves without trying to argue further. And let’s not forget the fact that she didn’t actually tell Nadia that they can’t kill Kamdar, but just told her to wait. Honestly I think that once she got her hands on Luca’s meds and ensured he was safe, she would have actually helped them to kill RK (and in a much smarter way lol), and I think that if Arman had answered any of her damn calls, she would have told him that. When they spoke at the clinic she was already upset and also completely caught off guard by his plan, but she’s had time to calm down and think about it now, and I think she would have talked it out with him and come up with a joint plan that would have protected both him and Luca. But instead of that, we got some real 'Romeo and Juliet' style miscommunication happening here, and well, that’s never led to disaster, right??? Right??

Lol if I saw Arman walking through my workplace, I too would follow after him and stare at him like these two guys are hahaha. Btw where is this shipping container place? Vegas, surely, because I assume he didn’t drive the 4 hours to LA just to talk to this guy lol. Also ngl I have to giggle because it’s been literally like a couple of days since Thony was in Manila, and yet they’re all acting like the meds have already reached the States or will be arriving at any moment, despite the fact that shipping something on a freighter from the Philippines to the US would take at least 3 weeks haha. Ah, TV magic. But ugh anyway who cares about that when Arman is so hot in this scene?? Firstly there’s his annoyance at this guy disrespecting him and trying to haggle with him– something I bet he would never have even dared to attempt in the pre-prison days– and then there’s his fury about the fact that by practically holding the container hostage, the man is endangering Luca. (Not to mention that any delay with getting the meds would mean that Thony would keep on believing that Arman can no longer be relied upon to protect Luca– I mean, not that she actually believes that, but Arman thinks she does). Honestly Arman is probably relieved to have the chance to let out his anger on someone (he could have literally just pulled his gun on the guy, but he chose to get physical haha), and unlike that asshole guy he beat for RK in 2x05, he’s doing this for himself. Ugh I have missed Big Bad Mob Boss* Arman (*with a secret heart of gold lol). I also love how useless the two musclemen were at protecting their boss haha. And then ugh his "nobody touches the cargo but me!"– he's really not taking any chances with Luca’s meds now ughhhh. I would die for him Your Honour

Nadia is crushing up pills in the bathroom and I am wheezing because a) our girl has clearly had some ~experience~ at this, which tbh is hardly surprising considering the type of party we first meet her at; and b) she’s literally got three tablets??? THREE. Three tablets of 250mcg of Digoxin (the dosage was on the bottle). That’s a total of 750 micrograms, aka LESS THAN A MILLIGRAM. For RK’s approximate weight, that’s literally considered a normal therapeutic dose. You know how much Digoxin it generally takes to create a severe acute toxic reaction? Usually more than TEN milligrams, but at the very least more than 5mg, unless someone has some pretty significant health issues and just happens to be having some REALLY shit luck that day. And as far as I could determine from his meds, the only thing RK was taking that has any potential to interact with the Digoxin would be the Benzos, but he takes a low dose and likely only uses them as needed, which means he probably hasn’t got any in his system currently. And hey, again, you know who would have known all this? THONYYYYY.  Like I’m sorry if I’m ruining the very serious moment of Nadia putting her would-be ‘murder weapon’ into her cleavage in a folded up $20 lol but I just can’t deal with any of this at all hahahahaa

Ooooh Thony meeting with Garrett in the carwash, so clandestine haha. And tbh I’m actually impressed that he manages not to immediately give away that he knows about Arman and Maya, and about Thony likely lying to him, especially when the first thing she does is ask him for yet another favour lol. But holy shit she just comes right out and says that Arman is planning to kill Kamdar? Ngl that caught me off guard (I want to google if it’s technically actually illegal to make plans to kill someone– like I assume so, depending on how detailed and feasible they are?– but I don’t want to bring the feds to my own doorstep by looking it up lol). But man it really shows that Thony has come to trust Garrett– lbr him protecting Chris would have gone a long way for that– but also that she took Nadia seriously when she said that Arman was in danger from RK. Bc consider Thony's line “Arman is planning on killing Kamdar, and I need you to protect him”. Garrett takes that to mean that she wants him to protect RK from Arman, which is partly true– until she has Luca’s meds, she does still need him– but I also think that when she says ‘I need you to protect him’, she also means Arman. He needs protection from himself– from taking part in a foolish plan that could easily get him sent to prison or killed– and he needs protection from RK’s men, who could also come for him before Arman even has a chance to act on his plan. And so she asks someone she trusts– a man who is literally a trained FBI agent, and who has already protected someone she loves– to keep an eye on Arman, and keep him away from RK. I can see how some fans would call this a betrayal of Arman, but I honestly don’t see it that way at all. I see it as Thony doing the only thing she can to protect both Luca (by preventing RK’s death and the loss of access to the meds) and Arman (by literally giving him his own bodyguard). Yes, this will screw over Arman’s plans, but that’s a price she’s willing to pay– and like I said last week regarding Arman choosing to protect himself and Thony by killing Kamdar even against her wishes, her stopping him is just the same– both are a situation of “I love you enough to do what needs to be done to save you, even if it makes you hate me”. Which is why Thony is doing what's necessary to protect Arman, even if it comes at the cost of damage to their relationship and the trust between them. After all, it keeps coming back to what he said to her in 1x01: “when it comes to keeping your son [aka the people you love] alive, it’s not about doing things the right way or the wrong way, but any way you can.”  

But man this ep really is aptly named, huh? Practically every scene explores the concept of trust– Thony wanting Arman to trust her judgement and not act on his plans. Arman wanting Thony to trust that he can and will protect Luca. Arman trusting Nadia to carry out this plan with him. Nadia trusting that his plan will work. Thony trusting Garrett to protect Arman (and him breaking that trust by almost murdering him). Garrett's trust in Thony being broken by her lying to him about Maya. Fi being forced to question her trust in Thony. Like damn writers, you’re really exploring human nature here aren’t you

Lol at first I thought all these texts were from Nadia to RK, and that he had actually stood her up bc he’d figured out their plan and had ditched their dinner to go abduct Arman again. But then I learned to read and saw that the texts were to Arman. Clearly something has held him up, since he said he was 10 minutes away and the tone of her texts suggests it’s been longer than that. Also sidenote, but on rewatching I noticed that right before the shot cuts to the next scene, you can see the actor who plays RK in the background, waiting just outside the door for his signal before he starts walking into the main club area lol 

Aaaand now we know why Arman is delayed haha. Fell for the old kidnapper-hiding-in-the-backseat trick huh? Though tbh given the size of that car I think it would be very hard to miss a six foot man scrunched up in the backseat lol. Guess Arman just had a lot of other stuff on his mind haha. But daaaamn Garrett this is definitely not what Thony meant when she said to keep Arman away from Kamdar! Tbh I don’t love that they clearly split the scene of Nadia in Fastlane and put this in the middle of it, because it throws the chronological order out of whack, but I guess it created more suspense this way or whatever lol. 

Apparently Nadia managed to get off a few more texts in the 10 or so seconds before RK crossed over to her from the doorway haha. Honestly though I think I’m becoming paranoid bc when he held out the gift box I was like IS IT GONNA HAVE SOME KIND OF PROOF IN THERE SHOWING HE KNOWS SHE’S PLANNING TO BETRAY HIM?? But then it was just a matching necklace, which then prompted the thought of ‘watch out it’s a listening device!!!!’ lol. God this show has me too on edge. Also lol RK is so goddamn Extra, like he wants to take her to Buenos Aires for sunrise?? Cool just a casual 14 hour flight in a tight dress lol. Though then again maybe his whole plan is to get her out of the dress for the flight haha. Love the ‘To our new beginning’ today bc from her it's  more like ‘to your end’ lol. Honestly I have so much respect for Nadia for what she does in this next scene; like not only does she stall him for an hour to give Arman time to show up, but then when he doesn’t come, she doesn’t abandon the mission?? She makes her own distraction and then actually goes for it and doses his drink??? Like firstly omggggg girl you are literally drugging someone in a crowded area where there are multiple potential witnesses, not to mention cameras, and also where Robert himself could turn around at any second and catch her in the act?? Tbh I am now headcanoning that Sophie the waitress did actually see her do it, bc she fills up the glass literally moments later, but since Nadia has always been nice to her and RK only pays her minimum wage, she’s like ‘eh not my problem’ lol. Women supporting women, amirite?? Ngl I would totally watch a Sophie POV series of all the drama she witnesses between RK, Nadia, Arman, and Thony lol. But anyway speaking of the champagne– even once the drug is in the glass, she has so little time for it all to dissolve away???? Like did she experiment beforehand and see how long it would take?? And what about the way the medication would change the taste??? God this plan is the worst and while I am so impressed by Nadia’s bravery and her taking that risk for Arman (well, and also for her inheritance, since it makes me feel more comfortable to think that she’s doing it for selfish reasons as well as for Arman lol), this whole situation still stresses me out far too much aaaaahhh

Oh man Garrett taking Arman to the dumping spot looks so disturbingly reminiscent of Arman killing the guy in 2x04 aaaaaah. But ugh the resignation on Arman’s face– lbr he’s been waiting for this moment. Whether it was Garrett, or RK, or someone else, he’s known that this day was coming for him; that after all he’s done, he’s been living on borrowed time. I just keep thinking of the Hamilton lyrics for him:  I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. Is this where it gets me, on my feet, several feet ahead of me? I see it coming, do I run or fire my gun or let it be?  But ugh even for all Garrett’s big talk (“do you think anyone would give a crap if your body was one of [the dumped corpses]?” like uh yeah buddy, Thony would sure as hell care) his gun isn’t steady and he’s clearly trying to work himself up to the idea of pulling the trigger. Also dude it annoys me so much that he says "What I really want is to know everything about the night that you put a bullet in Maya’s head" because she wasn’t shot in the head??? We clearly see (when her body is pulled out of the river) that Arman shot her in the chest. Which is also the place that makes the most sense??? It’s a bigger target, it’s quick and clean, and there’s just no way Arman would shoot an innocent woman in the head. Ugh c’mon writers, keep up lol. I thought maybe Garrett was trying to bait Arman into correcting him and revealing he did shoot her, but it didn’t really seem like that.  But sigh anyway. Clearly Garrett needed to get all of this stuff off his chest about Maya, and the kind of person she was, and how she’s dead because of Arman– but tbh I think Garrett is also saying it to himself a little, like reminding himself that if she’d never met him, she never would have ended up in that river.  I love that Garrett is the one to bring up Thony, showing that he knows what it means to Arman that Maya saved Thony from Cortes. Garrett knows what they are to each other, which is why when Arman turns and looks him in the eye and tells him (even though he knows that Garrett might have a recording device on him that's listening to every word) that he’d had to choose between Maya’s life or Thony’s, and that if Thony hadn’t been there, then things would have turned out differently– Garrett knows that he’s telling the truth. And even more than that, he knows the impossibility of the choice Arman was faced with, which is why he lowers the gun. He later says that he never would have done what Arman did and taken a life like that, but honestly I’m not so sure, and I don’t think he is either. He didn’t hesitate to kill Cortes when Maya was potentially in danger from him, and though killing an innocent would have been much harder for him, the whole point is that the ‘rat’ in the chair was going to die no matter what, so the choice was either to kill the rat and ensure the survival of the woman he loves, or to let all three of them be murdered for nothing. Faced with that situation, I’m certain Garrett would have pulled the trigger too.

Also dude I would have loved to see what the drive back to the gas station was like, the two of them sitting silently next to each other, both dwelling on their own grim thoughts? And then ugh when Garrett tells Arman that the second he's is no longer useful to him, he will bury him? That was hot tbh. Honestly I am living for the connection developing between these two, these former-nemeses-turned-reluctant-allies, and I can’t wait to see more of them. Their relationship is so fascinating because there is so much tension and resentment and anger but there’s also a grudging respect and regard, at least from Arman’s side (because of everything that Garrett has done for Thony) as well as remorse from Arman about his role in Garrett losing the woman he loves. Ngl I dream of a S3 where Arman and Thony are badass mob bosses of their medication import business (Nadia is happily elsewhere being queen of La Habana and Fastlane, being fawned over by men and women alike) and Armony have their morally dubious FBI buddy who they feed info to about bad guys and help him put them away behind bars. Please give it to me writers, I’d do anythiiinggggg  

Okay excuse me show, you cannot just put the Armony theme music over a scene with Fi and Luca??? Firstly Luca has his own damn theme music, and secondly, don’t you know I have a very strong Pavlovian response to this specific melody lol?? That was just cruel lol

Anyway ughhhhh J-Fi are so cute with their flirting over the phone and her giddy little face, she’s like a schoolgirl with a crush omg I love themmmm

Ok honestly, I just really don’t understand how people are hating on Thony for this ep. Like she finds out Arman’s plan, and then literally the moment she is done with the procedure that Luca needs to stay alive, she leaves him with Fi while she goes to La Habana to try to talk to Arman and keep him from putting both himself and Luca in danger. But instead she finds Nadia, so she begs her to stop the plan. Then she goes straight to the one person she knows who has the best chance of keeping Arman safe, and begs him to help. And then later she literally goes to RK himself to try to convince him of how beneficial it would be to have Arman working with her on the medication importing operation, how she needs an asset like him. Like guys the woman literally left her critically ill child at home and spent the day running all over town trying to protect Arman (and ok yes, protecting Luca’s meds too, but it was never just about that). And then ugh at Fastlane when RK tries to get threatening, asking her if she’s telling him how to run his business, she stands her ground and tells him that her and Arman running the meds operation together for him was what they had all agreed to in the first place, and ugh just look at these two brave women both trying to protect Arman from RK?? Albeit going about it in very different (and somewhat conflicting) ways lol. I do kind of love that RK genuinely seems to think highly of Thony and her Badass Mob Boss potential, and wants to see her free herself from Arman, who he clearly considers to be purely dead weight. Like aw that’s nice that he’s been drinking his Respect Women (And Their Right To Do Crime) Juice lately, but shame that it comes with the side effect of hating Arman even more for the fact that he is valued and desired by these amazing women lol

So I hope you didn’t think I was done with my medical ranting because hoooooooooooo boyyyyyy I am not even CLOSE haha. Like honestly I was just going to let all of the medical stuff in this ep slide and not say anything, bc it’s TV and inaccuracies are just an inherent aspect of that, but @enigmaticfox (the little devil on my shoulder that she is) told me to go for it, and so now you must all suffer with me haha. So where to begin?? Maybe with the fact that acute digoxin toxicity is most likely to take around 2 hours post ingestion to actually start showing symptoms? Or that it is far more likely to present with vomiting and abdominal pain than sudden cardiac arrest? And oh boy I could definitely say many many things about Thony’s CPR lol, but instead I will be generous and admit that it can’t be all that easy to simulate true CPR on TV (though I have certainly seen it done much better than this on other shows haha). But I will NOT be generous about the whole "we don’t know what meds he’s on, so shocking him could kill him" nonsense lol. Important PSA to anyone reading this: if you see someone collapse from what seems to be a heart attack, and there’s a defibrillator nearby, please for the love of god put the defibrillator on them. It will literally TELL you whether their heart is in a rhythm that can be shocked or not. (And honestly even if it’s not, as long as they’re not breathing and don’t have a pulse, getting shocked anyway won’t actually hurt them– it just won’t help fix the problem at all, and will delay you resuming CPR for no reason which is definitely not what we want). So basically they 100% should have at the very least put the defibrillator pads on and checked the rhythm– and in fact, the two main cardiac-arrest rhythms caused by Dig toxicity are VF and VT, which are both shockable. But I guess the writers wanted to make it clear that without Thony there, Arman's plan would have likely succeeded and RK would have died; and that because of her choice to take actions to save his life, she indirectly condemned Arman. But dude, it just ain't that simple. Firstly, if Thony did nothing and then RK miraculously somehow survived anyway, he would definitely have her killed for not trying to save him. And though she knows that saving him means he remains a threat to Arman, he won’t be able to come after Arman immediately, meaning there’s time for her and Arman to figure out a way to get him to safety, like asking Garrett to get him put in WitSec. And maybe she’s hoping that by saving his life, RK will feel indebted to her, and will give her whatever she wants in return– which, of course, would be him sparing Arman.

But anyway, back to complaining lol. She tells the paramedics that RK is bradycardic, which literally just means that his heart is beating slowly, but she could have only known that by having felt his pulse– and if someone has a pulse, then they are not in cardiac arrest, and they don’t need CPR lol.  And her telling the medics that they need an EKG makes me feel so much secondhand embarrassment, bc like dude. They know. This is literally something they deal with almost daily in their job. But then lolllll they don’t even take his shirt off and they put on like 2 leads instead of 10 and no one asks for or gives any history of what happened or any details about RK, and someone is giving him oxygen without even holding the mask to his face (meaning the O2 is all just leaking out around the mask rather than going into his lungs) . And then Thony recognises from the EKG that he might be hyperkalaemic (have a dangerously high potassium level, which to be fair does happen with Dig toxicity) and tells them to treat it by giving dextrose– except she doesn’t mention insulin which is the other very essential part of that treatment (as in, the dextrose is useless without it), and she also mentions calcium gluconate which should actually be calcium chloride which is more appropriate in cardiac arrest. Plus these are treatments which generally happen in the emergency room, not with paramedics. Also she says that the EKG shows peaked T waves and widened QRS’s, but the actual rhythm visible on the screen (while definitely slow) actually shows normal T’s and QRS’s. And also she stops CPR because they apparently ‘got a rhythm’, and gives instructions to not shock him ‘if his heart stops again’ (which, again, is bullshit) but then she tells the medic to carry on CPR??? Girl you have literally just proved he’s not in arrest????????????  This is honestly so painful haha. And omg the way the medic acts like such a robot in following her orders, like he would have had no idea what to do otherwise? Gah. Honestly even as a doctor with emergency training I would not be giving the paramedics orders??? I would be discussing my concerns with them but I would be trusting them to do their jobs??? They literally have protocols upon protocols for this shit man. But ugh. Anyway. Nadia congratulating Thony on just killing Arman was kinda funny bc she’s clearly forgetting that now she is in danger too as his accomplice– so technically, Thony may have just gotten both of them killed. Well, they got themselves into that situation so we can’t really blame Thony tbh lol. But aaaanyway I apologise for all of that, but I guess I just have a lot of Opinions haha?  (/EndRant)

Sigh it’s a relief to see Luca looking better. And I appreciate that Fi actually checks in with Thony about how she’s doing; I feel like her own wellbeing gets overlooked a lot, except (for the most part at least) by Arman. And ugh she admits to Fi about having to make a difficult choice today which may have endangered Arman, and you can see how much it weighs on her. Fi immediately reassures her about Arman seeming to be able to take care of himself, which is a very valid point tbh. He’s a grown man who has lived in a very dangerous world for the last two decades; he’s no stranger to his life being at risk. Still, I think Thony would have trouble accepting that argument bc as we have already seen over the past 2 seasons, she’s very protective of Arman and worries about him at the best of times, let alone when his life is being threatened by someone like RK. She breaks it down so clearly though when she says that the decision today involved her being asked to choose Arman over Luca– because for her the situation was that simple. Letting Arman kill Kamdar to protect himself would risk losing access to Luca’s meds, which Luca would almost certainly die without; and so of course she had to choose her son– who has been her entire world for over six years– over a man who she loves, but who has only been in her life for literally about 4 months, and she honestly doesn’t even know if he will choose to stay in her life. To be totally honest, I think that just the simple fact that the decision was genuinely difficult for her to make– not in terms of knowing her choice, but in terms of acting on it, knowing the potential consequences it would have for Arman– is incredible, and shows just how deeply she cares for Arman. But lbr I’d be very concerned about any parent who did put their romantic kind-of-partner above the life of their child– like if Fi or JD had to choose between saving each other or saving Jazz, both of them would pick Jazz without hesitation, because they’re her parents. It kind of comes with the territory???

Anyway speaking of JD, he appears and is not at all happy about being manhandled by Mr Big, Bald, and Brawny. Tbh though I kind of love this bodyguard guy? Like every time he speaks you just know that there are no thoughts going on in that big bald head. He’s clearly a former boxer based on his cauliflower ears, and tbh it looks like he got just a few too many concussions lol. Honestly I would love for him to start feeling a sense of respect and regard towards Thony somehow (like maybe she helps him with a medical issue or something) and he becomes like a big ol’ loyal dog following her around haha. But anyway ooooh I kind of like that JD calls Thony out on things? I think having someone force her to look at herself and her actions is important to make sure she doesn’t disappear too far down the rabbit hole. Though it does kinda suck that he’s (very fairly) forcing Fi to be torn between Thony and the kids… but I mean, like I literally just said, she’s going to have to choose the kids, just like Thony would. But ugh when she tells Thony about the ultimatum he gave her… Thony looks so sad, because though she knows what the right choice is and will support Fi in making it, she knows it means that she will lose her entire family and be alone with just Luca once again. Tbh I’m just the tiniest bit happy that she is the one on the receiving end of this decision this time, because it might give her a sense of how it felt for Arman, and might make her be more open with him about why she did what she did and how much she wished she hadn’t had to make that decision. Ngl I have already drafted a fic where Arman turns up at her house after the events of the ep and they actually finally talk it all out and maybe also make out lol

“I’ve never had an issue with my heart” Hmmmmm are you sure you even have one, Robert?? Lol. But seriously though, one of the pills in his drawer was a ‘blood thinner’ and so that literally means that he has to have something wrong with his heart– or if not that, then a problem with blood clots, and those can obviously also lead to cardiac arrest as well anyway. So really this heart attack shouldn’t have been that much of a shock. “They checked your blood for toxins” lol like what? What funky tests are these guys running? Though to be fair, if they do take his request to test for ‘everything’ seriously, then Nadia is in deep shit because our genius boy Arman picked one of the few meds that we actually have a blood test for. And which can also cause a very distinctive waveform pattern on the EKG as well. Like siiiighhhhh have I mentioned yet how stupid this plan was???

Anyway oh mannnnn I cannot say how much I enjoyed this ep (even despite the medical ridiculousness) because holy shit literally every interaction between the characters was so good and all of them took actions that were so completely in character and ugh I am just so excited to see what happens tomorrow aaaaaahhhh