#taz balance is sooooooo

[natjennie]

the way the starblaster is literally powered by bonds.. the way the only reason they make it out of the final hunger fight is by summoning spirits of people that want to help them... the way magnus learns the ultimate lesson from the power bear is to know when to ask for help.. the way merle stayed with the people of fungston to pray with them while their world was ending.. the way that I may not be your pan but you will always be my merle... the way the entire stolen century mechanic was built around saving people so that they can help you later.. the way june forgave jack... the way taako's destiny was based on a food truck chef overwatch player named joaquin who taught him how to make a taco... the way lucretia did what she did because she couldn't bear that the weight of their choice was hurting her family... the fact that completely cutting off the plane from the system wasn't the answer.. the way that you are going to be faced with a terrible decision but remember there is always a third option.. the way that they always joke about not being capable enough, that a competent woman has to come do it for them like... the way that the answer the whole time was to ask for help. to reach out to other people. that there is strength in numbers. that the only thing that works to combat the emptiness of oblivion is love. is each other. do you get it..

[anistarrose]

[Image description: digital art of Barry and Lup from The Adventure Zone, seen from the shoulders up. Barry's a human with a broad build, light skin, and short brown hair, wearing glasses and a denim jacket. He's facing Lup, blushing with his eyes closed, and laughing a little. His thought bubble holds a chibi figure of Lup with her hands ablaze, and the text: "My wife is so cool!"

Lup is a shorter and slimmer elven woman, with light brown skin and curly, shoulder-length brown hair. She wears a sleeveless black dress and gold hoop earrings, gazing at Barry and blushing. Her thought bubble holds an image of her kissing him on the cheek, giving him a flustered expression. End description.]

[holds them gently] i offer.. blupjeans....

[elvencantation]

sooooooo I paused in the middle of episode 65 of taz balance and my angst senses were tingling so much i had to write a lucretia fic

the year of stone

Lucretia wakes up alone in a ship that has been shot down. A ship that is much too quiet with six of its seven occupants gone. A ship she does not know how to repair, much less fly. She has a year. A year to learn, a year to run, a year to fight. A year to survive with the hope of thousands of universes dropped onto her shoulders alone.

1.8k words, character study, stream of consciousness, all hurt no comfort, mostly

[big-meows]

TMI - favorite NSFW fic? (No limitations)

oh god. so uh. I dont actually really have much in the way of NSFW in my bookmarks because 1) Im usually pretty vanilla and unhorny and 2) when i am in the mood for reading nsfw I usually cant find something I actually like, or sticks with me, because I'm sooooooo picky and difficult to please. Sometimes I'll read a fic and enjoy it in the moment but it wont leave a lasting impression because it was too much about sex and not enough about like. The characters. (Which is why, regrettably, my favorite NSFW fics will probably continue to be my own, because I write what I want to read.)

But the very first thing that came to mind is a fic by my buddy @threepwillow which, isnt even explicit? It's rated M. The fic is about sex, but it isn't, like. Sexy. It's a crossover between TAZ: Balance and Hello from the Magic Tavern (a podcast I have never listened to), is tagged with things I would never click if I didn't know the author, and is real fucking clever.

There's a Luberto fic @jofngve wrote that is just a quick frottage scene at the end of 20k words of longing, but they let me read the early drafts and it affected me so much that I ending up shamelessly copping their scenario and writing my own fic! Because, the longing!

I have PROBABLY read some good Haikyuu smut, I think there was some good Infinity Train stuff, but none of it seems to have made it into my bookmarks, regrettably. Im looking right at a holostars fic in my bookmarks and for the life of me I can't remember whats in it without clicking it, and its a ship Im not even particularly into so like??? Idk man. I need to get better at book marks I guess.

[dorky-zuko]

“Honestly I could just keep going forever. If you want more just send me another ask.”

i heard there was a motion that needed seconding

A sequel to this post

okay, some more things I like include:

adventure time

westworld season 1 and 2 ONLY

Mission Impossible Movies

Star Fetchers

Over the Garden Wall (Ain't that Just the Way)

some Halos

I, Claudius

TAZ Balance (plus various MBMBAM properties)

Metroid Prime

Twilight Princess + Wind Waker are the best zeldas (fight me)

Scott Pilgrim

Futurama (classic)

His Dark Materials (NOT THE SHOW I ONLY READ THE BOOKS)

Disco Elysium

it used to be cool to like stranger things but it is NOT cool anymore

old spongebob

shrek 1 and 2

pokemon (various medias)

Undertale (hot take but that one game everyone went crazy about a few years ago was actually pretty good y'all, go figure)

WATERSHIP DOWN (BOOK) (ITS ABOUT BUNNIES)

Portal 1 and 2

I really like the HBO chernobyl show but it's weird to say that you're a "fan" of Chernobyl sooooooo

some anime is okay

ABC's TV show LOST is great and I'll fight people about it

Law and Order is copaganda but I was raised on SVU which is fucked up actually but there it is

Jeff Goldblum is a really funny guy

Nightcrawler is the best X-man

I don't really LOVE any of his games but I usually main Kirby in Smash so I can suck up people and then jump to my death and take them with me so that's something about me that you gotta know

But my most favorite thing of all is my FRIENDS (OKAY BARF SAPPY FEELINGS OVER NOW GOODBYE UGH)

[majorkphob]

[Image ID: three shots of Steven and Pearl from Steven Universe. The first shows Steven looking tough saying "Podcasts don't make me cry". Pearl looks skeptical and replies "you're on episode 68 of Taz: Balance". Steven flinches and cries out "*Voidfish (plural) plays* There's magic in a bard's song". End Image ID].

[chungledownresponsibly]

i finished my eldermourne relisten a couple days ago and the absolute chokehold it still has me in is RIDICULOUS

[mydaysaresmall]

Sooooooo....TAZ Balance visual novel?

[rogue-rook]

many many highlights from The Crystal Kingdom from a first-time TAZ listener

featuring some bits from the Lunar Interlude II: Internal Affairs

travis: “it was streaming on witch. that’s like magical twitch!”

SWEET ANGO HAS RETURNED!

i cannot believe griffin went to the EFFORT of making a fantasy costco jingle

the lockpicking garden gnome called the Nitpicker that insults the damn party is a beyond brilliant object for sale at the fantasy costco

I really want to lodge a complaint with the HR department of the bureau of balance on sweet angus macdonald’s behalf bc these grown men are FULL ON BULLYING THIS TEN YEAR OLD BOY GENIUS

so is this new shitty scientist consultant lucas a bigger annoyance than shitty train butler wizard jenkins or does jenkins still retain that title

travis: "anything this touches turns to crystal?" griffin: "yeah, pink tourmaline" travis: "yeah, I'm not gonna say that, because I'm an adult"

CAREY FANGBATTLE is like on par with Jess the Beheader in terms of Cool Names

griffin: “so the three of you are currently sitting in a gondola, which is another word for a little boat” travis, singing: “the more you knoooowww”

“so it’s made of crystal, right?” “yes, everything is crystal” x1000000

the crystal kingdom song is beautiful

griffin: “you see a sign that says The Magical World Of Elevators” justin: “griffin's really stickin it to the people who say he's not allowed to have elevators in this game”

today in failed brand marketing: “Upsy, your lifting friend”

this arc is ACTUALLY set up like a video game level puzzle, when griffin says “ah, you’ve solved my crystal puzzle” it will actually apply

clint: “I rolled a 4 but I get another roll...a 5″ travis: “wow, you're really bad at dnd”

merle: “I'm gonna use Banishment on the cockroach” griffin: “okay, you're just gonna yell GET OUT OF HERE COCKROACH, I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE”

magnus is being fucking mean to lucas, the genius inventor, and he’s been a TOTAL DICK to sweet boy genius detective angus macdonald, and i feel like pointing out that he was WAYYY nicer to shitty evil wizard train butler jenkins who beheaded a guy with a teleportation door

griffin: “one of the signs is labeled Radiation Ventilation Maintenance Chamber, and the other is labeled Lil Genius BuddyBot R&D" travis: "I feel like this is a trick” clint: “I feel like griffin has been playing Fallout”

I LOVE HODGE PODGE THE LIL GENIUS BUDDYBOT!!! EVEN IF HE TURNS OUT TO BE EVIL, THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE MADE ME LOVE HIM PRETTY INSTANTLY AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT

hodge podge: “magnus! merle! take-o” goddamnit griffin

justin: “can we just put the stone of far speech in front of the robit and griffin, you can just talk to yourself?”

hodge podge is exactly the kind of unsettling demon robit with a mostly-adorable voice, except for when he goes demon-y, that I expected from griffy

justin: “my character taako has innate skills in: investigation, nature, history, religion, arcana, and religion” so is he double good at religion then

taako: “okay, I got a question for you: who....do we work for?”

lucas: “hey, are you just mean to everyone?” THANK GOD SOMEONE VOICED THIS LEGITIMATE FUCKING CONCERN, THE GRUBBY GRIFTERS ARE MONSTERS

clint: “I look up what scrumbled means” griffin: “justin said that in a Monster Factory once and I’ve been using it like it’s a real word” justin: “I am the lewis carroll of my generation”

noel the friendly medic robit’s voice started at vaguely-angus like and then became straight up country southern and i really hope somebody calls griffin on it

i really think griffin introduced the nitpicker so he could have a way of introducing his own critiques of his dad and brothers’ dnd skills

the little compact mirror has some shit in it that i think must be important

there’s a rift in space and time and pink tourmaline is coming out of it and the damn song is super ominous and making me MEGA NERVOUS and honestly i don’t know what the flying goddamn fuck is happening but i am SO INTO IT

lucas: “you’re just yelling hugbears at me” magnus: “BUG! HEARS!” “what” “what”

so is lucas just like holding these poor bugbears in fucking slavery

the grubby grifters discover the tourmalined body of boyland and magnus asked if he can DESECRATE THE GODDAMN BODY OF HIS TRAGICALLY DECEASED COWORKER

griffin: “these two figures are just taking these ice robits to Fool School”

awww they’re gonna fight one of my favorite little creepy crawlies! human sized tardigrades that will absolutely fuck their shit up!!! so cute

griffin: “you’re so loosey-goosey with your possessions! ‘hi scuddle-buddy! bye scuddle-buddy! go get on that train to hell!’”

clint/merle’s immediate panic when they decide the only option here is to CHOP HIS GODDAMN ARM OFF

killian, after picking lucas up: “THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST SHITTIEST DAY EVER, WE ARE TWO PEOPLE DOWN, YOUR LAB SUCKS!!” #relatable, I feel u killian

during this arc the mcelboys keep talking about how they don’t remember shit from the beginning of the show bc that was two years ago and im like what? what? that was three days ago, friends!! its bc ive binged this shit in under a WEEK

merle basically has a plant fetish okay, that’s the only reason this soul-wood shit worked

griffin: “it actually curls up and gives you a thumbs up as if to say 'hey! I'm your arm now!’”

so like this planar system shit is probably important, right

this parseltongue motherfucker that’s like fucking haunting the grubby grifters needs to start explaining what their whole, like, DEAL is

this Red Robe dude is having a FREAKOUT over the damn umbrella and im like mmmmm maybe taako shouldn’t have just taken the damn umbrella, no questions asked

killian’s scanner is having a major freakout over a lich being present and im like, yeah, its the fucking umbrella, yall

oh, real quick, the mcelboys gotta pause the action to whine at each other about character voices

killian: “I am going to ABSOLUTELY murder that man” yeah, killian remains the most goddamn relatable npc in this fucking world

i sure hope The Adventure Zone Zone doesn’t have any super important info in it, bc im not gonna listen to the mcelboys talk about the maxfun drive from two fucking years ago

the crystal golem just called the grubby grifters bounties, and said it was time for noelle the friendly medic robit and the grubby grifters to all go back to the astral plane and im like WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? GRIFFIN! WHAT?

OH FUCK ITS BEEN KRAVITZ THIS WHOLE GODDAMN TIME!!!!! KRAVITZ!!!!!

griffin: “a D6 is like a dice-ass-dice! that's like some monopoly shit!!”

kravitz: “i don’t even know how that even worked, like with physics”

taako: “luke! use the fork!” merle: “the fork will be with you, always”

magnus: “I want to roll an investigation check on noelle...I rolled a 2″ griffin: “okay well you know noelle is a robot”

YALL!! SHITTY TRAIN BUTLER WIZARD JENKINS AND MAGIC BRIAN THE GERMAN MORON BOTH CAME BACK!!

magic brian the german dumbass: “i had an invitation to my wedding for you, and instead of RSVP-ing, you murdered me!”

travis: “when you say they evaporate, do they go back to heaven or hell or the after plane, or whatever, or are they GONE?” griffin: “it kinda seems like you obliterated their soul. kinda seems like you just kinda ERASED them” travis: “you know, at the end of day, I punch people, but dad unmakes their existence, who's the real monster?”

the fact that noelle died in phandolin when the grubby grifters and gundren rockseeker turned the whole town to glass is so goddamn fucking tragic, THANKS GRIFFIN!!!!

lucas miller: yet more proof that dickin around with science and magic and mad scientist shit is always gonna end badly for everyone

kravitz: “taako, you’ve died eight times”...[...]..”magnus, you’ve died 19 times”...[...]...”merle highchurch, the richest bounty i have ever hunted, you have died 57 times” WHAT?? WHAT? WHAT???? WHAT???? GRIFFIN!!??? WHAT????

THIS STORYLINE IS LIT

griffin: “a legion of ghosts” justin: “great”

i think both griffin and I have forgotten that carey fangbattle and killian are in this scene. also merle has had a soul-bond wood arm this whole time

the grubby grifters beat a goddamn LEGION of ghost robits, or ghrobits, and then kravitz slides back into the scene all like “uh, hey, assholes, thanks for saving me, I’ll make up some legal loophole bullshit to thank you” that’s not a direct quote, that’s me editorializing. i fucking love kravitz

taako: "they found new bodies, just because they're mechanical doesn't mean the life is any less valid - battlestar galactica"

oh fuck magnus got a cheating deck of cards in like episode goddamn THREE and he just whips em out in episode fucking 39 against kravitz

kravitz, massively misunderstanding the assholes he’s talking to: “the rules of nature are there for a reason, so lets just stop running afoul of them, as if this all just funsy-fun make-believe!”

magnus: “kravitz! tell julia I love her” TRAVIS!!!! TRAVIS MCELROY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO MY HEART!!!

lucas: “you'll never see me again, but if you do, i'll be doing good, and please don't kill me instantly”

justin: “i give angus a thumbs down” motherfuckers

killian: “hell yes! I love this plan! me and carey, and a robot ghost with a gun arm! sounds like a plan!” magnus: “sounds like a spinoff!” killian: “that’s sounds like some torchwood shit!”

davenport the goddamn pokemon

on one hand, I’m really goddamn suspicious that the director isn’t actually destroying the relics but is collecting them for her own gain. but on the other hand, if this turns out to not be true, I will feel bad for suspecting her so hard

taako: “director, here’s the truth. what did you have for lunch on Dec 3 2015? you don’t remember right? that’s when you told us not to talk to the Red Robes. what’s I’m saying is WE FORGOT!”

YOOO THIS EPILOGUE PROPHECY IS SOOOOOOO COOOOOL GRIFFIN!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!

this was a wild wild wild wild ride and whatever griffin is doing with this story is LIT

[wastrelwoods]

mmmmm taz livebloggin for the first time in months and it feels sooooooo right

kravitz…..paloma….lucas…mine friends

LUCAS IS COMIN BACK GUYS OH WOW

uh I got an inklin abt that deal what kravitz struck and also where lup might have went

taako what the FUCK (okay I get it. I get it. I hate it. I get it)

mmm I thought taako would go for the new cycle but uh. Angus??? is his family too

fYUCK YEAH LET’S ROLL INITIATIVE

fuck shit dammit Angus rollin initiative my beautiful magic boy

DIBS

can’t believe taako has 20 intelligence I fuckin love it

the way Merle names his weapons is. iconic

Carey n Killian better have an Unkillable Lesbian Healing bonus, griffIN

okay but a centaur vs magnus on a rhino: who wins???

uhhhhh I’m not feeling good abt how Angus is doing???? protec

“Jesus, these rolls, guys,” they’re good high-level PCs, griffin,

boy, Merle can’t figure out healing, but he sure has gotten good at playing human shield and taking all the damage for his family, i love. him

lov that I know enough abt this game now to wince when I hear the phrase “5D8 fire damage”

magnus n taako pulling that legolas n gimli battle couple pun war shit. love to see that good good teammate shit

ughh!! Lucretia savin davenport n Barry!! Lucretia still protecting her crew

Angus??? picked up???? the umbrastaff? which ……. that’s mygirl friend lup. that’s her???!

uhhh if what i think is happening is happening….I have to sit down now

uuhhhhhOH NO??? THE UMBRASTAFF??!

oh jesus

oh my god .

this is all so much better than I was expecting

“"YOURE DATING THE G R I M R E A P E R???!??!?”“”

boy I hope they can strike the balance between genuine high-stakes danger and a satisfying story ending

whom else feeling like elements of the refuge arc were dankass foreshadowing for this finale? ‘by their sacrifice our home is made safe’? a girl spreading a protective bubble around the world? sometimes there are just decisions??

hey I just heard Merle call Davenport 'Dav’ so they were definitely dating before. for sure

uhh what? the judges are back?? boy I forgot John absorbed them a while back

splitting up the party mid-battle for the first time in the whole campaign

“nah, its fine. I’ve got magic powers!” *takes a flying leap off the moon*

thought we were going for one last elevator fight but I guess maybe not

are….are merle and john going to have a talk now

oh FUCK. well, that’s maybe as good a place as any to be for a guy with 9 hp

griffin I cannot name a single NPC I won’t be furious at you for killing but god damn it! not fisher!! not him!!

im mcfuckin weeping at this great great reunion

oh my god? best possible timeline for Johann, huh??? also for the rest of the known universe huh

[acadieum]

was goin thru my old art program and found out that i literally have a whole blupjeans comic wip that i never finished??????? and somehow forgot abt when i switched programs???? so 👁️👁️