#taylor swift you absolutely hit the mark with mean this is me trying I hate it here and thanK you aIMee

[starman-o7]

too many sad pop songs about breakups, not enough sad pop songs about depression, anxiety and not being able to envision a future for yourself

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Chris Hemsworth's Favorite Line In Thor Ragnarok" on YouTube

That could be that big mostly all the time I think some of your kid now he thought it was a trumpster whoever you are he treats you bad

And he heard he was going to be king and went berserk and started beating himself up and now he's becoming small and he won't shut his mouth for anything so he goes like this you chase us around took out all the rigged stuff and the army's shrinking your stuff's going away your money is not going to be yours we can't understand you're such an a******, everybody's who played about you and by the way I am too so he starts saying all sorts of gobbledygook and say this it sounds like he's hiding something but we really think he's not cuz he's such a twit usually and say hi you know all about that and he does too but we know about operationally and he says that too that means we know you need an army you're not going to have one so what gives you a big shot we need you to stop saying this stupid s*** to everybody about us are playing our stuff our way our methods our conversation the way we talk our history our dirt cheap or money a hit points I mean what the f*** is wrong with you you're the biggest girl we know

Mark rufulo

It's hard to get this it should be Taylor Swift when she's not doing any of it and people investigate it and she would be like a mega check he says some stuff but wow I'm ruining everything and I don't care and have an end of welder and you're hitting your head so many times I don't feel smart about anything you sitting here berating me it doesn't care it says it works cuz we have to train for real terrorism when experts get mad I started to figure out something he's using me up doesn't really have a choice and he says that I'm not giving him one or anyone else that you accepted the position bent over for a farrier your mouth is accepting more of it it's absolutely true and I can't stop myself and that's the way it is and I'm going to die doing the job for them. It's true as I have an angle it was trying to figure out what it is and he did and it's stupid and he doesn't care about it and I didn't know that he doesn't care that I don't know that he's just going to make sure that I'm dead everyday so he doesn't get harmed and that's how it's done he says and it makes me weak and stupid and ruining the plan is what I'm doing no I'm starting to figure out something he's more than a hassle I have to do stuff and he says we're going to counter it and you're going to be in the morgue in a few minutes, they say it to me it usually happens

Trump

You're the biggest fool I know nobody has fallen for anything like that about you for years and they just go ahead and make it work because you're saying the sniveling s*** right afterwards now listening to you on devices you f****** moron and he's right my ex is still decent yours is gone you left the whole thing you had tons of money tons of stuff everywhere tons of troops now you traded all that in and we're all dying for what Dave has and Dave has a tomb and he can't get his computer robot to do anything who the f*** are you to make this idiot decision for everyone that's wrong everybody knows that you need an army to supplement the AI I hate you man you're stupid you're done we have to get you out of there and that's the answer how could you fall for something that everybody sees how it works you don't know how it works everybody who is involved with a I knows how it works and your AI is stupid

Taylor Swift

I don't have any words for that that's not the plan he says the other plans ruined we go around scanning everything getting into all the time but we scan everything and we don't bother with you having to find every new piece of stupid evidence from you people he says this f****** stupid it sounds ridiculous to a lot of people it really is but I keep doing it

Trump

[luvdsc]

doing the bf tag with my bf.

hey, siri, does bf stand for best friend or boyfriend? (or both?)

pairing :: na jaemin x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + youtuber au word count :: 4,691 words warnings :: none playlist :: mean it (lauv & lany) ⋆ always, i’ll care (jeremy zucker) ⋆ fearless (taylor swift) ⋆ fingers crossed (coin) ⋆ cardiac arrest (bad suns) author’s note :: this fic is a tiny bit different than my usual writing because i emphasize more on dialogue than description in order to mimic a youtube video. happy birthday to this absolute darling angel! you have the biggest heart in the universe, and thank you for sharing so much of it with the world ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

Your subscribers have always wondered if you would do this type of video countless of times, and you never thought you’d ever actually record one due to the state of your love life (or lack thereof), yet here you are.

Unfortunately, the romantic department of your life still remains very much empty though. But lucky for you, so is your best friend’s. And that pretty much works out perfectly because he could stand in for your nonexistent boyfriend in order to complete the popular GF/BF tag (along with a hidden challenge that was popular by demand and personally requested by a certain friend with a flair for baking. Now if only the frantic butterflies in your stomach would settle down just enough for you to do it).

After all, BF could stand for either boyfriend or best friend, right?

It’s also no secret that yours and Jaemin’s subscribers shipped you two together either. Heck, you may be a little delusional as well because you ship yourself with your best friend, too. Blame the massive crush you’ve been secretly harboring. But two best friends sharing an apartment and frequently appearing in videos on each of your respective channels? In the eyes of your fans, that’s basically the perfect setup for a modern day love story.

It would 100% be the greatest love story since Kat and Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You, but at this point in your life, your story is going to be marked down as a tragedy. You feel even more hopeless and dramatic than Romeo was about his unrequited love for Rosaline. Also, that dude got over her way too quickly at the sight of another pretty girl. You wish that would happen for you, too, but your heart is much too stubborn over Jaemin.

When you had asked him if he would do the video with you, Jaemin immediately agreed much to your initial surprise. The publicity would be good though, you surmise later on, and both our fan bases would grow, so of course, he would agree. It’s not like your best friend liked you back. That would be absolutely absurd.

“Are you ready?” Jaemin speaks up, breaking your train of thought, and you’re slightly startled. He plops down in the plush pink rolling chair next to you, the chair moving back a few inches. He scooches it closer to your own chair, buzzing with excitement. You smile at your best friend, pushing down the butterflies erupting in your stomach. You nod before reaching forward and pressing the record button on the camera set up in front of you. You pull up the list of questions on your phone.

“Yeah, let's do this.”

How did we meet?

“Oh, this is an easy question,” Jaemin says, flashing his award winning smile at the camera before he throws his arm around you happily, hugging you affectionately. “It was freshman year. You ran into me. Literally. We were in the same class, and it just ended. You were trying to shove your textbook into your bag and didn’t notice where you were walking until you face-planted into my back.”

The memory is still fresh in your mind, and you remember how you had already resigned yourself to your fate of becoming good friends with the floor. But Lady Luck was on your side for once, and she sent an angel in the form of Na Jaemin to save you from embarrassment on your first day of university.

“Yeah, I almost fell flat on my butt, but luckily, Nana has great reflexes and when he turned around, he grabbed my arm before I hit the ground,” you add on, still squished into his side. He beams, eyes crinkling into half moon crescents before placing a kiss on your cheek and turning back to the camera.

Your heart skips a beat, but you ignore it. Jaemin has always been affectionate, and kisses were all in good fun. You continue on, plastering a nonchalant smile on your face. “And he said, ‘Looks like you just fell for me.’ And then he insisted that we get lunch together.”

“And the rest is history!” he exclaims happily, resting his cheek on the top of your head. You smile fondly before going onto the next question.

Where was our first date?

“The dining hall immediately after you ran into me.”

“That wasn’t a date,” you interject. “We can skip this question since we aren’t dating.”

Jaemin shrugs, waiting for you to read the next question. He murmurs faintly under his breath, “It was supposed to be one.”

We’re going out to eat, where are we going?

Jaemin answers immediately, leaning back in his chair. “The little pizza place down the block! They always make three different types of unique pizza everyday, and once they sell out, they close for the day.”

“We always go on Wednesday because they make both of our favorite pizzas then.” You chime in, and he nods enthusiastically, moving closer to the front and throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis. “They have corn and potato pizza that day!”

You wrinkle your nose slightly before leaning towards the camera. “To my subscribers, for the record, I assure you that I have better taste than that, and I love the artichoke pesto pizza with ricotta.”

What food do I dislike?

“... Corn and potato pizza,” he says reluctantly with a pout. “And kiwis. The outside is furry and creeps you out, and the fruit makes your tongue itch.”

You flash a thumbs up at the camera, and your best friend grins, puffing up his chest. Chuckling quietly, you shake your head before answering the question yourself. “And this dork absolutely hates anything strawberry flavored. And he’s lactose intolerant, so dairy is his enemy.”

“I love cheese, but cheese hates me,” he says mournfully, hanging his head down low before he jumps back up and reads the following question listed on your phone’s screen aloud.

Who is my best friend?

“Me!” Jaemin shouts gleefully, throwing his hands up in the air, and you can’t help but laugh, grinning widely at your best friend, a fond expression on your face.

“You.”

Am I a morning person or a night person?

“We’re both night people,” you say, and Jaemin nods in agreement. “You won’t catch either of us waking up before noon if we can’t help it, and we each have to set up like five alarms just to wake up.”

“It works out because we can stay up together watching movies or editing our videos,” he adds in, turning to you and smiling fondly. “And I always have a partner when I want to go on a midnight snack run to the convenience store nearby.”

Do we have a song? What is it?

“Jeremy Zucker’s Always, I’ll Care.”

“That’s our song?” You’re surprised. You were going to mention one of the go-to karaoke songs the two of you liked to belt out on the top of your lungs after a movie and wine night. Jaemin makes a great Sharpay Evans when you both want to bop to the top.

“It’s the song that reminds me of you,” he says, voice growing softer as he reaches the end of the sentence. Curse your heart for melting into a puddle. His cheeks turn pink under your gaze, and he becomes uncharacteristically shy, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Anyway, what’s the next question?”

What’s my nickname?

“Nana!” You reach out to poke his cheek, and he puffs them up before pouting at you. He reaches out and pinches your cheek.

“I call you ‘angel’ sometimes. It’s why your channel is called peachyangel.”

What's my weirdest habit?

“Jaemin eats way too much cilantro,” you state, swinging around side to side in your rolling chair.

“I do not!” he protests loudly, and you give him a blank stare. The two of you sit there in silence, not breaking eye contact until he finally relents.

“Okay, maybe I do. But you pour cereal before milk!”

“That’s not a weird habit!” You defend yourself. You are appalled at your best friend. Neither of you have ever woken up early enough for breakfast, so this has never come up before. If you would’ve known this in the past, maybe you wouldn’t be so ridiculously in love with him in the present.

“Yes, it is! Your cereal gets all soggy that way!”

“Only idiots pour their milk first!”

He clutches his heart dramatically. “Are you calling me an idiot?!”

“... So moving onto the next question—”

What do you think I’m talented at?

“Making people fall in love with you,” Jaemin blurts out, and your eyes widen at his answer as your grip on your phone loosens considerably.

“I—I mean, you’re just so approachable, and you’re kind to everyone. You care so much about everyone and everything. People feel comfortable around you, they always gravitate towards you, and you just— I don’t know, you make people feel loved,” he explains, unable to meet your eyes, and his cheeks darken. He fiddles around with the loose strand on his sweater sleeve.

Your heart swells ten times bigger and beats faster than ever. You wonder if Jaemin knows he has the same effect on everyone, too. You hope he does.

You wonder if he knows you’re in love with him and if he would love you back. You hope he does.

When was the first time you said “I love you”  to me?

“Uh, we can skip this one, too,” you say awkwardly, but he throws his arm around your shoulder again, hugging you tightly. “Nope, not skipping! I have the answer to this one!”

He grins toothily at the camera before pinching your cheek for a second time affectionately. “I said ‘I love you’ when you showed up at my dorm and brought me pop tarts at three in the morning after I accidentally drunk texted you, instead of Jeno. That’s when I knew you were a keeper.”

“I did that because I felt bad about throwing up on your shoes at the party we went to the weekend before that,” you mumble, face growing warm when you remember your best friend’s drunken confession a few years back. “Besides, you were drunk. It doesn’t count.”

“Okay, fine, but we say it to each other all the time. The second time I said it was when you brought me chicken nuggets, and I was hungover, but sober.” He says, spinning in his chair.

“I can see the pattern now. You say it when I bring you food,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest with a fake pout. “You love food, not me.”

“That’s not true!” he exclaims, halting mid spin and facing you. He turns your chair towards him, moving forward to clutch both of your hands in his, and stares directly into your eyes seriously. “I love you.”

You inaudibly gulp, helplessly gazing back at him as you feel your face begin to burn, your heart speeding up in your chest. Jaemin grins, leaning back and letting go of your hand. “See? I love you!”

“Y-yeah.” You swallow hard, fumbling over your words. “You love me.”

What is your favorite thing about me?

“Your laugh,” Jaemin replies honestly, reaching out and absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of your hand as he looks at you. “Hyuck told me the other day that whenever I try to do something funny or make a joke, I have a habit of turning towards you for your reaction. It makes me kinda proud that I can make you laugh.”

You know that you’re stupidly grinning like an absolute idiot at this point, but you don’t care. You even almost forget about the camera.

“Your smile,” you answer, maintaining eye contact with him. Your smile widens when you see one appear on his face, his eyes shining brightly. “You have the prettiest smile, and I’m grateful that I’m able to see it everyday or be the cause of it sometimes.”

What film always makes me cry?

“Oh, The Lion King.” Jaemin responds automatically. “We both cry our eyes out at the stampede moment and when Simba tells his dad to wake up.”

“When we saw the live action version together, we brought along a ton of tissues with us, and he used almost all of them.”

What drink do I always order?

“Jaemin is crazy and always gets a venti iced americano with no water and eight espresso shots. He used to drink it six times a day until I yelled at him about it,” you say, shaking your head at the camera before glancing over at your best friend. “It’s seriously bad for your health.”

His lips jut out into a pout as he whines, “You wouldn't let me cuddle with you until I changed it!”

“It was for your own good! Plus, that drink tasted like battery acid!” You exclaim, and he sulks quietly before begrudgingly agreeing. You pat his head in consolation, and he grabs your hand, naturally interlocking your fingers with his.

“I drink it less now and with only two and half shots.”

If I could, what candy could I eat all day long?

“Chocolate,” you blurt out immediately. “Jaemin is a chocolate fanatic. But he’ll take anything with sugar. He has such a sweet tooth. He eats brown sugar when he’s bored. Even his boba drink has 100% sugar.”

“It’s as sweet as you.” Jaemin winks at you exaggeratingly, and you roll your eyes, turning your face away slightly to hide the smile that begins to spread across your face.

“Y/N likes matcha green tea Kit Kats.” He leans closer to the camera, peering into the lens in a serious manner. “If any chocolate companies are watching this, we are both open to sponsorships.”

If I could live anywhere in the world, where would I live?

“Here,” Jaemin says confidently, beaming at you, “You’d want to live here with me. And I want to live here, too. Because this is the bestest place in the world.” He hesitates, faltering for a moment before searching your eyes. “Right?”

Who are you to say no to that?

You smile at him. “Right.”

What am I deathly afraid of?

“You’re afraid of spiders,” he announces, “You make me take care of all the spiders in the apartment.”

“Yeah, it’s the only reason I keep you around,” you say casually, and he gasps, insulted. You give him a cheeky smile. “I’m just kidding.”

He scowls at you, lips pulled into a frown. “You better be.”

What is the first thing that I do in the morning?

“Jaemin is never awake before I am,” you inform the camera, crossing your legs. “I have to wake him up first if we go anywhere.”

“Even if you don’t have to go to an event, you still wake up early to make sure I’m awake, so I won’t be late. So that’s what you do first thing in the morning: wake me up.” Jaemin nudges your leg. “You always come into my room as a blanket burrito with your comforter wrapped around you.”

“That’s because I have to face the treacherous cold to make sure you aren’t late to your events. But you still end up late anyway because you drag me down onto your bed and refuse to let me go until we lay there for twenty minutes,” you grumble, pulling up your legs onto your chair and wrapping your arms around your knees.

“Cuddling is a good way to conserve body heat and start the morning,” Jaemin states, waving his arms around to emphasize his point.

“Really? Do studies show that it’s beneficial to cuddle in the morning?”

“I don’t know.” Jaemin shrugs, making a noncommittal noise. He smiles at you, causing your stomach to do flip flops and your heart to do cartwheels. “But it makes me happy every morning, so I’d say that’s enough proof.”

Who usually wins our arguments?

“Y/N does,” Jaemin sighs heavily, leaning back against his chair in resignation. “You always win.”

“It’s true.” You nod, patting Jaemin’s arm consolingly. “It’s tough always being right, but someone has to do it.”

“You always pout, too, and I just give in because you’re too cute,” he says casually, and you freeze in your seat. Never mind the fact that he’s implying you’re wrong, Na Jaemin just called you cute.

Good thing this is caught on camera because this means you can secretly watch this multiple times in private. And also cringe over your awkward reaction, but let’s not talk about that right now because once again, Jaemin just called you cute. You! Cute! Jaemin! Your mind is honestly short circuiting, and you can’t do anything, except nod and smile like a complete fool.

What do we usually argue about?

“Adopting,” Jaemin says solemnly. Eyes widening, you wait for a moment, but he offers no explanation. You lightly shove his chair, and he rolls a few inches away. “Nana, you can't just end it like that! You have to say more than that!”

Turning towards the camera, you hurriedly explain, “He’s talking about pets. He wants to adopt five dogs and name them after Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, Renjun, and Mark. And then he wants to adopt a snake and name it after Donghyuck.”

“She said we could only get one dog and the snake.” Jaemin scowls, slumping in his seat as he stares into the camera. “I can’t believe she isn’t letting me get five dogs. I love Jisung and all non-Jisung’s equally.”

What’s my favorite clothing item?

“It’s not even yours. You always steals my white hoodie. I haven’t been able to wear it for the past month,” Jaemin complains, and you have the decency to look a little guilty.

You play with the strings of said hoodie that’s currently engulfing your body, curling into yourself as you tuck your face into the sweater like a turtle. “Your clothes smell nice.”

“But we use the same laundry detergent.” Jaemin wrinkles his eyebrows, confusion evident in his eyes. “All our clothes smell like snuggles and cotton.”

“It’s not the same,” you insist, wrinkling your nose, and he shakes his head, lips curling into a smile. He reaches over and tugs the hood of the sweater over your head playfully.

“Okay, whatever you say, angel. You look better in them than me anyway.”

Where am I on a Friday night?

“You’re here with me, eating Chinese take out and watching Criminal Minds,” you answer, and he agrees, nodding.

“We just finished watching all twelve seasons on Netflix, so if anyone has any show recommendations, please send them in!”

What is my weirdest interest?

“Once again, my clothes,” Jaemin says, and you begin to protest but he wags his finger at you. “No, no, no, you don’t get to disagree! You hoarded like six of my sweaters in your closet. I bought you the exact same sweater for your birthday, but you still take mine!”

You silently decide that it is better to accept this defeat than correct him because you actually have seven of his sweaters and a few tee shirts as well.

Who’s my favorite YouTuber?

“Me!” Jaemin’s hand shoots up in the air. “I’m your favorite YouTuber. Next question.”

Your hands start to get clammy as you look down at the final question you have been saving for last. It’s been a good fifteen minutes, and the butterflies still haven’t subsided. If anything, they seem to have multiplied and transformed into a whole rampaging zoo complete with elephants and monkeys.

“Uh, are you sure about that, Nana? ShowMeTheMonet is really good. I also really like itsmebetch a lot.” You stall for time, staring at the last question until the words are stamped in your mind. “Dream Unsolved and Worth It are amazing, too.”

Suddenly, Jaemin is right in front of you as he spins your chair around to face him, frowning and complaining, “What do you mean I’m not your favorite? You’re my favorite! What kind of best friend are you? This is a betrayal! An insult! This is worse than Jisung not calling me his favorite! How could you do this to m—”

“Okay, okay, you’re my favorite! I’m sorry! It was a joke,” you interrupt, but he turns away from you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, go make a video with ShowMeTheMonet instead.” He sulks, shoulders hunched over. “If you like her so much, go be best friends with her.”

“I’m sorry! I’ll buy you all the chocolate you want after this,” you plead with him, placing your phone on the table next to you. “I’ll even buy you boba everyday for a week!”

Jaemin brightens up at that immediately. “Oh, yeah! I want some milk tea after this! Okay, what’s the last question?”

You swallow hard, nervously fiddling with the hoodie strings once more and shoving all the butterflies down to the pit of your stomach. Twisting in your seat, you move your chair and spin his around until you’re both facing each other, knees touching.

“‘Where and when was our first kiss?’”

At the immediate thought of kissing you, his cheeks explode in various shades of pink, the tips of his ears catching fire. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about kissing you daily. Heck, he had to stop himself from doing so earlier when you were burying your face in his stolen hoodie. It’s so unfair that you’re always so cute and looking so… so… kissable.

“I, uh, I don’t think I can answer that,” your best friend stammers out as his eyes dart towards your lips before meeting yours.

“But you got all the other answers right.” Your voice comes out steadier than you thought it would, and you mentally pat yourself on the back. Gnawing on your bottom lip, you pause for a moment, balling your hands into fists before uncurling them and asking hesitantly, “Should I help you out?”

“Yes.” He wonders how exactly you can help him out. Oh god, did he kiss you before when he was drunk? But you would’ve told him if he did that. What if he had ki—

A soft pair of lips lands on his.

You’re kissing him. Oh my god, you’re kissing him! Jaemin wants to jump up and shout it from the rooftops. His heart leaps from his chest, and he’s wildly cheering in his mind as fireworks explode around him before he suddenly remembers that he has to kiss you back.

And so he does.

Jaemin tugs you closer until you’re pulled onto his lap, a muffled squeak of surprise coming from you, and he laughs as he presses his lips against yours more firmly, hands gripping your thighs as you straddle him. Your arms loop around his neck, and your heart ricochets in your chest as you kiss him back until your lungs are screaming for oxygen and you have to pull away.

Jaemin positively beams at you, eyes sparkling as he leans forward and nuzzles his nose against yours affectionately. He laughs breathlessly, resting his forehead against yours. “Yeah, that was really helpful. Our first kiss just happened right here a few seconds ago. And now, our second kiss is about to happen.”

Your best friend closes the distance, crashing his lips against yours once more, and you kiss him back just as fervently, smiling against his lips as he does the same. Never in either of your wildest dreams did you think this was going to happen, but you sure as heck aren’t complaining, and neither is he.

When the two of you finally break apart, you bury your face into the crook of his neck, flustered, and Jaemin laughs giddily, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling. He hugs you tightly to his chest before nudging you to look up at him. “So did I get a 100% on the boyfriend tag?”

“Yes,” you say, sitting up straight on his lap and grabbing both of his hands in each of your own, intertwining your fingers with his. “You got twenty five out of twenty five. Congratulations on your perfect score.”

“Technically, you did do the boyfriend tag with your boyfriend then, right?” he says slyly, squeezing your fingers. “Shouldn’t I get some bonus points for helping you do the tag correctly?”

You chuckle, failing to contain your smile. “Okay, fine, you get bonus points, too. You did an A plus job, Nana.”

“I’ll take those bonus points in the form of kisses.” He puckers his lips at you, and you easily comply, wordlessly leaning forward to give him one, two, three kisses.

Jaemin grins at you, positively delighted before he attacks you with kisses, peppering soft kisses onto your cheeks, forehead, chin, the tip of your nose, and everywhere else in between until he finally kisses your lips gently.

If this was a cartoon, there would be hearts floating around his head and shooting from his eyes. He leans forward again to kiss you one more time for good measure. You smile mischievously, tilting your head to the side slightly as your hands curl around his shirt. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you want for your bonus points?”

His eyebrows furrow for a split second before his entire face lights up. Jaemin carefully cradles you, picking you up as his grip tightens under your thighs. You let out a quiet squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck, as he stands up enthusiastically.

“Cut the cameras!”

One new notification: peachyangel uploaded a new video!

nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ commented:

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANGEL 🥺💗💞💖💗🤩💝💕💜🤧💖💘😭💘🌼💐🥺💖🥺🥺🥺

peachyangel replied: ily too baby 🥺🤧💖💖

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

is this allowed?? there are minors here 😫 jisung look away

peachyangel replied: get your mind out of the gutter, ya nasty 🙄 we turned off the cam because he wanted to go get milk tea

jisung pwark replied: I’m 18!!!!! Stop treating me like a child!!! 

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ jisung pwark stop making me cut the crusts off of your sandwiches then

big head king replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck how come you don’t cut the crusts off of my sandwiches 😭😭

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ big head king because you are a grown adult and jeno already does it for you

jenojam commented:

congrats jaemin!! :)

Starbucks Official commented:

we would love to sponsor you, Mr. Na!

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE commented:

OH YOU ARE NANA!!1!1!!! 🤯🤯

ShowMeTheMonet commented:

um hello i would love to do the gf tag with you! i accept!!! it would be an honor 🤩

peachyangel replied: omg yes!!!! 🥺🥺 let’s do it soon 💖

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ did… did we just lose our gfs 🤧

mork lee rawr xD commented:

hahaha nice guys ! this was really cute haha

ty track commented:

the babies are all growing up too fast ):

jeno is my favorite commented:

.... i feel so single @.@

DonutKillMyVibe commented:

let it be known that I was the friend who challenged @ peachyangel to do the challenge and hence, I am the reason these two are together 👀👀

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck commented:

someone should make an updated version of that jaemin complaining video compilation with this

big head king commented:

ayyy you all are the GOAT 🐐🐐🐐

jenojam commented:

so are we just gonna let it slide when he called everyone except jisung “non jisungs” ?

jisung pwark replied: 😎😎

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

is no one gonna comment on how he called me a snake?????

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle is no one gonna comment on how much of a clown hyuck is???

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck wtf? where did this even come from

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle sorry I thought we were stating the obvious here

big head king replied: LOLOLOL

apado gwenchana god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

[morganas-pendragons]

Epiphany | Commander Cody

another clone fic before i take my leave of tcw writing at least temporarily because my idea bank is dead (update: kidding i have another now, it’s coming this week) / this will probably not be happy because this song is not happy and most of you know better from me of all people lol 

this is actually more hurt/comfort but i hope ya’ll like it! :D 

based off of epiphany from taylor swift’s album folklore 

ft. phantom because i haven’t written enough for her 

@cherieboba​ // @libradusk​ / @obiorbenkenobi​ / @captainrexstan​ / @kamino-mermaid​ / @shitpost-kaley​ / @kryptonian-sith​ / @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol​ / @lady-tano​ / @colorfulloverbatturkey​ / @djarinsdni​ / @sithmando​ /  @skyguysaga​ / @starflyer-104​ / @painkiller80​ / @ct7567329​ / @spaghetti-666​ / @kaikai1324​ / @cxptain-rex​ / @jellyfishpoptart​ 

*** 

keep your helmet, keep your life son.. just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle 

There’s a certain numbness that comes with being exposed to trauma so many times. Phantom knows in her heart of hearts that this - being on the front lines of a battlefield since the beginning of her padawanship to Obi-Wan Kenobi - was not what The Force meant for her. Jedi were not soldiers. They were peacekeepers. 

And now it seems she is among the best of them. 

Standing on the shorelines of Felucia, the eldest padawan of her class peers upward at the massive Separatist droid foundry they’ve been sent to eliminate. She knows the familiar signatures for the members of Ghost Company who have come to stand at attention around her as they await the General to begin their debriefing. 

Needless to say, the debriefing doesn’t go well. 

  “You want to do what?” Cody is skeptical, to say the least, but her Master seems rather okay with the idea. It’s probably because of how he’s grown used to Anakin’s antics and this is so very something that Anakin would do.

  “I want you to send me into the heart of the base, by myself.” 

  “Absolutely not. Not unless you have vode covering your exit.” 

A side note to consider: Until this point, Phantom had been going by her given name both by the clones and their Jedi. This was the mission that earned her the nickname Phantom. She slipped away unseen, returned unseen.. but it didn’t mean that Cody didn’t worry any less even after she agreed to take a small squad of his best men. 

That is now where he stands - in the eye of a hurricane that is his mind - on the beaches of Felucia that are crawling with clankers and vod. He’s barely able to hear the call of his Jedi through the comms or see the brothers who beg for his aid as he steps over their bodies and continues on in his task. 

Crawling up the beaches now

Sir, I think he’s bleeding out

A bloodied hand print settles against his boot. It’s a deep scarlet that bleeds past the plastoid and into the skin as he recognizes his inability to save yet another brother who died for a war that just didn't end. 

  “I’m sorry.” 

But in spite of his aching heart and the deaths he will have to catalog later, Commander Cody presses on. He has no other choice. He will go back to The Negotiator. He will come back to it with you - because Cody refuses to acknowledge a world where you are not present with him in it - and once Cody is safely ensconced within your embrace, he will weep for those he was unable to save. For those he failed. 

Such is life. 

*** 

With you, I serve

With you I fall down 

You’ve made it this far without being seen by the magna-guards that Dooku strategically placed to protect the droid foundry, or the B1 legion that remains on the first floor to keep the 212th from entering the front door. They are the distraction, and you are the executor. 

The bombs in your satchel tink as they bounce against your side. 

Viper, Killshot, and Abel are all covering your escape. The three clones, two of which were only just recently promoted to ARC Troopers, are three of Cody’s best men and people he would trust with his own life. Now he’s trusted them with yours and you with theirs. 

Your heart crawls into your throat when Abel starts screaming through the comms. He’s been overrun. 

Watch you breathe in 

Watch you breathing out, out 

“You have to keep going, Padawan!” Abel yells, and the ferocity of his voice makes you wince as you stop in the duct you’ve been crawling through for the last mile. You’re almost to the heart of the facility. “For The 212th!” 

For the 212th. 

You make a mental note to add Abel to the mural of fallen that had begun construction in the gardens of the Jedi Temple several months before. You will remember his sacrifice. You will remember him when the war is over, and the clones are freed. 

You and Cody will remember him together when the world won't. 

Something’s you just can’t speak about 

The vent drops down ten feet into a small but open control room. Once you plant the bombs, you have ten minutes to follow the marked path back to the ground floor of the foundry before you’re supposed to meet Obi-Wan and Cody on the beach. 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Your hand slams against your wrist.

Detonation Initiated

TIME: 9:59

  “Killshot! Viper!” You yell, saber ignited as you sprint down the hall and to the adjacent staircase that will lead you to the floor beneath you. The B1 droids on duty yelp at the sudden presence of a Jedi and snap to attention in a futile attempt to stop you with their blasters, but to no avail. “Meet me at the rendezvous!” 

  “Yes Commander!” 

only twenty minutes to sleep, but you dream of some epiphany

You can hear screaming over your comm. Viper and Killshot are ARC Troopers, two of the best in the 212th.. there’s nothing to take them down. That’s what you’d also told yourself in regards to Abel. 

  “Shavit.” 

just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen

This floor is alot less crowded then the others. Viper and Killshot are at the point where they agreed to meet you at the debriefing, rifle and blasters out and firing rapidly to eliminate the threat of any droids that dare come near you. 

They had made a promise to their Marshal Commander to get his girl home to him. Cody might not like bearing his heart, but his vode see it every time he looks at you.. and they’re not about to deprive him a bit of happiness when the war has given them so little of it. 

  “Boys, on me!” 

  “Yes Commander!” They shout. 

with you i serve, with you i fall down 

A bolt grazes your shoulder. You yelp at the searing pain across your shoulder blade and whip around to give the hardest Force shove you can muster as you descend to the final floor. 

Your breath catches in your throat. There’s quite a bit of droids left. 

TIME: 5:10

  “There she is!” 

There had been no human guards in this foundry. You’d gotten in, attached the explosives, and had somehow gotten to the main floor without any kind of resistance from those within. Dooku hadn’t even left his best droids here to guard their foundry. 

  “BEHIND YOU!” 

The dread that’s settled in your stomach blossoms when you realize that you are overrun. 

  “PHANTOM!” 

watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out 

Tears burn your eyes as your arms move on their own accord. You are desperately trying to keep your men safe. You are tired and grieving the loss of all the vode who lay outside on that beach, and the natural climate of the planet does nothing when you’re wearing plastoid armor that feels like a second skin. 

with you i serve, with you i fall down 

  “Commander-” Viper starts, and before he can continue, a fatal shot is delivered to his chest that knocks him off his feet. Despite your exhaustion and the fact that your eyes are beginning to blur, you gently place the ARC trooper on the floor outside the door as Killshot continues to take out the activated commando droids. “Phantom-” 

  “You-” You grit your teeth and use The Force to lift him, oblivious to the trickle of blood that trails down your nose and drips into the sand. “Are not dying on me today, soldier! STAY ALIVE!” 

Time: 1:51

  “Look out!” Crys yells. Five or so of the remaining vode snap to attention - including Cody, who has been anxiously following the count down of the timer as he awaits your arrival with his men back on the beach - but he’s now distracted by the body that collapses just in front of the medics. “We need a medic over here! Viper has been hit!” 

The air smells of blood and smoke. 

59.. 58... 

  “Phantom!” That’s Boil - and Cody has no idea where the name came from, but he doesn’t exactly hate it either - yelling into his commlink from beside his Commander as Obi-Wan paces the sand. “The bombs are going to go off in 50 seconds!” 

  “Don’t you think I know that?!” 

  “GET OUT HERE! Kenobi is waiting for you!” 

Mustering all the energy you have left, you raise your hands in the air and throw hundreds of droids backward into the far wall at the other end of the ground floor before you and Killshot are sprinting out into the open and down the sandbar to where Obi-Wan and Cody are waiting for you. 

It hits you square in the face when you see how terrified he looks. You are still too far away for comfort, too close to the blast area, too close to danger... and seeing how many fallen vode are on that beach must make Cody believe he’s about to lose you too. 

Not today. 

  “Are you ready, General?” Cody asks. Obi-Wan nods and braces himself against the sand, digging his toes into his boots as he relaxes his body and concentrates the best that he is able. 

just one single glimpse of relief

to make some sense of what you’ve seen

10..9...8...7....

Cody holds his breath and screws his eyes shut. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. 

You hold your breath and allow yourself to fall limp in the Force grip that your Master uses to haul you and Viper down the beach. 

  “Cody.” 

Soot covered hands collide with hard white and gold plastoid. You are far enough away from the foundry not to get caught in the blast, and the minute you are safely ensconced in the arms of the Marshal Commander, Obi-Wan slams his hand against his wrist and detonates the bombs. 

The world explodes in a flurry of amber against a sapphire sky. The sun is descending. 

Time to go home. 

*** 

He finds you in the quiet of his quarters. After being released from medical to ensure nothing had happened to you and checking in on Viper, you’d immediately retreated to the sanctity of Cody’s quarters that he very rarely used on The Negotiator. 

The minute the door hisses shut, the weight falls on his shoulders and he shudders. It’s almost as if the world wanted to keep him feeling as light as possible before the weight of reality came back onto his shoulders.

You’d mentioned this before in a novel you’d read. Atlas. 

Yeah. Marshal Commander Cody is Atlas. 

  “Kote,” Your voice echoes through the quarters as you stand in the thresh hold between the kitchen and the bedroom, eyes softening at his state of exhaustion as you beckon him forward. “My love, are you alright?” 

He releases a shuddering breath and falls into the crook of your neck. “No,” Cody rasps, desperation creeping into his voice as he fists the material of your tunic with shaking fingers as he pulls you deeper into the curve of your body. “No. I almost lost you today.” 

Capable fingers swiftly work at removing his armor. Cody doesn’t know it yet, but you have the bath running, and you intend on taking care of him. Someone has to do it. 

Might as well be the person who’s in love with him. 

  “We destroyed the foundry.” 

  “Yeah? But at what cost?” He asks, and you don’t answer. You’d seen the defeat on the clones face as you and Obi-Wan had built them a pyre - a common occurrence after difficult campaigns to give the clones closure - and bid the fallen vode farewell. “We lost so many.” 

  “You didn’t lose me, Cody.” You whisper. “You never will.” 

He shakes his head. Once, twice, three times, he doesn’t believe you-

  “Phantom-” 

Standing in nothing but his blacks, you use the Force to place the pieces of his armor on the sofa before you turn back to him and grip his face in your hands. Your eyes are piercing, certain in your words, your fingers gentle as you cradle him in your grasps. 

  “Never.” You repeat. “You will never lose me.” 

It’s a declaration. One that Cody feels in the depths of his heart as he allows you to lead him into the ‘fresher. “Phantom,” His breath feels hollow in his throat as you turn to peer at him over your shoulder. “I-” The words are poised on the tip of his tongue and he has no problem saying it to the rest of his brothers.. but to you? It feels like he’s teetering on the edge of a boundary he dare not approach. 

  “Cody.” You breathe, taking him into your arms and guiding his hands to rest against your hips. “Look at me.” Dark eyes flutter open to meet your own as you lean in and just barely ghost his mouth with your own. Your fingers flex around the nape of his neck as you stand on the tips of your toes and open your mouth to him, sighing in relief as he blooms like the petals of a flower and opens beneath your touch. 

He hears the thought ring clearly in his mind. 

I love you. 

And the confession makes him want to weep. You’ve known, something tells him you’ve always known, but the fact that he doesn’t have to say it yet makes relief burst in his chest. Oh... there’s just something about the certainty in knowing the person you love also loves you just as fiercely. 

Cody looks at you, and he sees everything he has ever wanted since being brought into the cold sterile home of Kamino. 

You. He sees you. 

  “Just for one night, Cody.” You ask, gently guiding him into the bathtub and reaching for the shampoo on the side of the tub. Cody subconsciously leans into your touch as you begin to lather shampoo into his hair and quietly hum as you do so. “For once.. let someone take care of you. Can you do that?” 

He grips the side of the tub with lax fingers.

  “Of course I can,” He hums. “I’m home.” 

*** 

The Jedi Gardens are the most peaceful part of The Temple outside of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. You have spent much of your time there since before you were taken on as the padawan to High General Obi-Wan Kenobi, and even then, your previous Master had spent much of their time in here. It was the only place in the Temple you could find peace. 

Today, you’re spending your time engrossed in the mural of The Fallen that the Council had given you permission to paint. While you spent the majority of your time nowadays on the front lines with Obi-Wan and the 212th, your hobby during R&R was painting. This mural, this memory, was to test your ability. 

This was month six of working on it. 

Cody is wearing his civilian clothes - a gift from you nearly a year beforehand - and has his hands tucked into his pockets upon entering the temple Gardens. The two of you had agreed to meet for dinner ala picnic style in the Temple later that day despite his reluctance to meet you there for fear of.. people. There were only two jetti he trusted.

One of them he was looking at. 

Splattered in paint, hair messily tied on top of your head, he watches in awe as you finish Abel’s helmet and the blend of gold and white paint across the top before stepping back to admire the work. There’s nearly two dozen helmets painted across the rock face near the little waterfall on this side of the Temple Gardens, and Cody takes that into consideration because it’s truly a beautiful place for an eventual proposal. 

Not that he’s thought about it. 

  “Phantom, love-” He calls out softly, lips quirking upward in the ghost of a smile as you whip around at his presence and beam. He loves that smile. “That’s coming along really well. How long have you been here?” 

  “Just a couple hours.” Your eyes widen in embarrassment as you realize why he’s here. “Oh no, oh no-”

He runs a palm across your hip and pulls you against his body. “You forgot,” Cody muses. “It’s okay. You usually do whenever we come home from the front, but I’m not worried about it.” He bends his head down to ghost his lips over your pulse point, nuzzling your shoulder with his neck and peppering the bare skin there with kisses. Cody’s not sure there’s a sound more beautiful then your laughter. “Not when I’ve got everything I need right here.” 

He wouldn’t dare do this with his General or the vode around. This is a side of Cody only you get to see. 

And little Gods.. do you adore him. 

  “You’re a sap.” 

  “One of us has to be.” 

You link your fingers with his own and lead him to the beginning of the mural. “I wanted to show you this,” You murmur, taking his hand and reaching upward to graze the first word written in white calligraphy across the top of the collected helmets. “For you, my love.” 

Across the top of the rock face reads, 

With you I serve, with you I fall down

A memorial to our fallen vode 

We will remember you 

Even when the world won’t 

[berkmansimagines]

illicit affairs

A/N:  So on a whim I made a post about any folklore inspired requests and I got a few responses! I got two requests for illicit affairs so I tried my best to combine them both. Thank you @designersophisticate​ and the anon who made these requests!

Request: Ooh, do I have a Taylor Swift request for you. Strap in. Barry x fem!Reader — "illicit affairs." Y/N is married to one of the Chechens. Her and Barry meet, the attraction is instantaneous, and they end up going to bed with each other. They know it's wrong, but they don't care. They fall deeply in love with one another even though should Y/N's husband find out, he'd kill them both, it doesn't stop them. Lots of angst, lots of self-recrimination, lots of "who cares, it feels good." TYSVM! :-D

Request: Maybe a barry x fem reader based off of illicit affairs cause he's with Sally but they end up together :)

tw: mentions domestic abuse

You made sure your husband didn’t see you leave. While driving to the hotel, you took back roads and kept checking the rearview mirror. You put your hood up before you got out of the car so nobody could recognize you. Walking down the hallway towards your hotel room, you look over your shoulder. You know you’re being extra cautious but absolutely no one could find out about this. If word got to your husband, he’d kill you both.

You’re married to a man named Alexei, who works as muscle for the Chechens. There was love in your relationship once. Everything changed after you got married. He became verbally abusive and sometimes got violent. It turns out all your husband really wanted was a cook and a maid and someone to fuck. You feel like an idiot for falling for him in the first place. You’ve thought about leaving Alexei but you’re afraid of what he’ll do if you tried.

When you reach the hotel room, you take a deep breath and knock on the door. A moment later it opens.

“Hey Barry,” you smile.

“Hey,” his entire face lights up.

You first met Barry at Goran’s house a few months ago. You were there to drop your car off with Alexei. At the same time, Barry was discussing a job with Goran and Noho Hank. Something about Barry drew you in the moment you saw him. He felt it too. Before you even knew his name you were already sharing stolen glances. You both left at the same time and it started to rain, a rare thing for LA. Barry offered you a ride so you wouldn’t have to take the bus. But you didn’t want to go home and Barry didn’t want to be alone. The two of you ended up spending the day together. The first time you slept with him was in his parked car at an abandoned lot during that rain storm. You’ve been seeing each other in secret ever since. 

Barry opens the door wider and you go inside. He looks down the hallway one more time before he closes the door. He smiles to himself as you put down your hood, take off your jacket and place it on the chair. 

Barry was just happy he got to see you at all. He was almost late checking into the hotel because of acting class. Sally wanted to run lines with Barry after class and he had to make up an excuse. He feels bad lying to Sally. He likes her because she represents Barry Block, the new person that he’s trying to become. He enjoys acting with her. But Barry loves you. You know what Barry has done and accept him. He doesn’t need to hide things from you. You love him for who he is.

“I’ve missed you,” Barry says softly.

“I’ve missed you more,” you tell him.

“Not possible,” Barry gives you a small smile.

You and Barry rush towards each other and your lips smack together as you start making out. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You lead him towards the bed. The two of you sit down and Barry starts tugging at your shirt. You lift your arms up to make it easier for him to take it off. 

Barry tosses your shirt on the floor and checks you out. He spots bruises on your rib cage and hand marks on your neck. Barry’s eyes widen and his face drops.

“What happened to you?” he sounds concerned.

“It’s nothing,” you try.

“Y/n...” Barry’s not convinced, and then, “Did your husband do this?” 

You shake your head and look down at your feet.

“I… I don’t want to talk about it.”

Barry’s seen bruises on your before but you always told him that you were being clumsy and fell. Your newest injuries were harder to lie about, it was evident that you were hit and choked.

“And the bruises all those other times...they were from your husband too, right?” Barry asks in a low, serious tone. He already knows the answer.

You don’t respond. You nervously start shaking and keep your head down. That confirms it for Barry. You’re still being held by Barry and can feel his entire body tense up. You slowly lift your head up to meet his eyes, he looks furious.

“Barry, I came here to be with you. I don’t want to talk about him. Can’t this just be about us?” you plead.

“He shouldn’t be hitting you,” Barry shakes his head, “You need to leave him.”

“I can’t…” your voice drops.

“Yes you can,” Barry says gently, “It’ll be okay. You can stay with me.”

“That definitely can’t happen! If he finds out about the two of us… he’ll kill us both,” you tell him.

Barry sighs. He wouldn’t let that happen without a fight. Alexei is Chechen muscle but Barry was a much better shot. Your husband would be dead before hitting the ground if he ever tried breaking into Barry’s place. He’s about to speak up, but you continue talking.

“Besides, I can’t stay with you. You still have a girlfriend, remember?  If you think it’s so easy to just leave someone, why haven’t you ended things with Sally yet?”

“This isn’t about me and Sally! It’s about you and your piece of shit husband. If you’re not going to do anything about this, then I will,” he says.

“No! No, no you won’t,” you sternly reply. 

If anything happened to your husband, the Chechens would look into it. You didn’t want Goran’s men to go after either of you.

“I’m trying to protect you, baby. I mean you were just shaking like a scared little kid when I asked you about the bruises,” Barry tries.

“Don’t call me kid! Don’t call me baby! I told you that I didn’t want to talk about this,” you raise your voice and stand up, fighting back the urge to scream. 

“Y/n, I-” Barry starts before you cut him off.

“No! Barry, I wasn’t a cheater before I met you. I never thought I’d be here right now. I fucking hate this mess that we’ve created, but I love you. I think I love you more than I’ve ever loved Alexei and that scares the shit out of me because it puts you in even more danger… I can’t let anything happen to you. If you try going after Alexei I’m ending this thing now. You’re not getting hurt because of me.”

You pick up your shirt that Barry tossed on the floor and put it back on. Barry leaps up as you walk to the chair where you left your coat. 

“Y/n! C’mon, what are you doing?”

“I’m trying to protect you, baby,” you repeat back to Barry.

You’re about to grab your jacket when Barry puts his hands on your shoulders.

“No! Please don’t leave,” Barry begs, “I love you too. I just hate the idea of that guy hurting you...”

You take a deep breath and cross your arms protectively over your chest. Barry lightly rubs your arms.

“I’m going to end things with Sally. I promise you, y/n. And then afterwards we can figure out the safest way for you to leave your husband,” Barry softly reassures you.

“He… he might kill me if I left,” you stutter.

“Y/n, he’s going to kill you if you don’t leave him,” Barry tells you.

You nervously gulp. That just hit you like a ton of bricks. Barry was right and deep down you knew it too. You look down at your feet and try to figure out what to say. After a moment, you look back up at Barry.

“Are you really going to leave Sally?” you ask.

“I will,” Barry nods, “Then I’m getting you out of that house.”

Barry wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a hug. You nuzzle your head into his shoulder. 

“I love you, y/n,” Barry whispers. “Everything is going to work out, I promise.”

“I love you too.”

[purplesurveys]

1193

Have you ever been cheated on?  Nope.

Whose car were you last in?  Other than my own? Hans’s, but that was over two months ago. 

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?  How timely is this, Andi literally randomly asked me how I feel about septum piercings this afternoon haha. Anyway, I have no problem with it on other people but I personally wouldn’t pick my nose as a spot for piercings.

Have your parents ever smoked pot?  I don’t know, they may have but there’s a big chance they haven’t. They don’t really share much about their youth so I would never know.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?  That’s definitely not me.

Are you good at giving directions?  Not at all; if anyone asks me directly I usually immediately refer them to whoever I’m with at the time. Or I tell them to check Waze.

Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room?  She would and she’d definitely be pissed about it. Not that I have to worry about this ever happening, though.

Did you speak to your father today?  Yessssssss, I literally just caught a glimpse of him like two minutes ago.

Did you kiss someone before you were sixteen?  No, I was 16 turning 17 when I had my first.

Could you go a day without eating?  Yeah, but I wouldn’t feel well by the end of it. I’ve formed a habit of skipping breakfast and lunch on weekdays now, and I always feel like complete shit once I clock out. Considering I only eat dinner these days, I guess I can say I do regularly go entire days without eating.

Are your nails always painted? I never paint them/have them painted.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before?  Just local ones.

What color is your hair?  Black.

Your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you? Yes.

Have you danced in the rain?  Maybe? I don’t know. Doesn’t sound like something I would do, though.

When you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap?  Nope. I never liked getting in trouble, even as a kid, so I stayed out of it.

What do you think of spanking little children when they do something wrong? Okay or not?  That’s a common practice where I live, at least it was during my time. My mom didn’t believe in spanking her kids, which I’ll always be thankful for; but the cousins I lived with didn’t have the same fate so I regularly had to watch them get spanked - with sticks, slippers, belts, etc basically anything that was within reach. I think today’s generation of parents are different; I hope they are.

Who was the last male you hung out with?  Gab, Kyelle, Al, and Hans.

Who is your favorite person to text?  I don’t text anymore, but I do chat with Angela on Messenger everyday.

Who did you last take a picture with?  Does an online photo count? We had an event held through Zoom last Wednesday and we had a photo op by the end of it.

What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I don’t have any. I just wear whichever pair I’d feel good and confident wearing.

Which show is better: Spongebob or The Fairly Odd Parents?  Nooooooooo you’re making me pick between my two absolute favorites. I might have to go with Spongebob, but it barely barely barely won. Fairly OddParents is great too, at least until they added the baby fairy.

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like someone else?  Many times. Idk if I’m happy about it because something tells me it just means I have quite the common face. Idk. I don’t think too much about it and as long as I’m compared to someone I personally find pretty, it’s fine lol.

Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning?  Not so much. I find them too loud, especially the crickets.

Who is the most overrated singer?  Taylor Swift.

What is your favourite planet?  I don’t have one, but let’s go with Saturn.

Do you have any pets that you had since you were born?  Wow no. 23 years is a very long time.

Do you own anything that you had when you were a baby?  Yep, my mom kept all our umbilical cord stumps. It’s in our baby albums.

Do you enjoy Mario games?  Very much so. It’s the only franchise I can play HAHAHA

What’s your favorite online game?  I don’t play online games.

Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class?  I probably have been.

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?  I used to sometimes shut it off whenever I’d fight with my ex and I didn’t want to deal with the world for a while. Now with the toxicity out of my life I never turn it off lol.

Who was last to cook for you?  My mom made pasta for dinner tonight. Then after that I asked her to make me coffee mixed with Milo.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them?  Depends on who texts. I get anxious when it’s media texting, so I tend to ignore those for a few hours unless they ask something urgent. If it’s someone from my inner circle, like a friend or one of my parents, I would check and reply immediately, or at least as soon as I see the text.

Who is your most trusted person?  Mmm, probably Angela. I literally reached out last night to ask her to log on to my Facebook so she can unfriend Gab and her family on my behalf. I don’t think I would’ve asked that from anyone else.

How late did you stay up last night?  A little earlier than my usual, around midnight or so. I knew my load was going to be packed today since my manager had filed a leave which meant I had to cover for her tasks as well, so I wanted to get enough rest so that I didn’t wake up sleepy and cranky.

When/where are you most likely to sing?  As long as I’m alone, I’ll sing. I like to do it, just not in front of other people.

Would you ever wish to explore a cave?  That would be soooooooo nice. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a cave. :(

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?  I imagine giving her an awkward smile and probably being the first to approach. Then I would ask how she’s been. I’m in a place in my life where I’m sure I’ll be able to do that.

Have you been/are you depressed?  I’ve been there many times.

Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yes.

Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high?  No. I would hate to be in that situation.

Who is the best hugger you know?  Laurice.

Have you ever had to be put to sleep for an operation?  Nopes.

Does anybody have any proof of stupid things you have done?  I know Angela has a few. Gabie took a few as well; whether she still has them or not I’m not updated on anymore, nor do I care.

Why did you text the last person in your inbox?  I was just reminding Angela there was a BTS video coming out tonight.

Have you ever been able to do a split?  No but I’ve attemped to do it many times.

Did you ever date the last person you kissed?  Yes.

Are you intimidated by the last person you know talked badly about you?  I never keep track of things like that. I know it would bring nothing but unnecessary stress, so I never snoop or ask around to check if anyone’s been talking not-so-nicely about me behind my back.

Have you ever cried in school?  Maybe only about once or twice in the 18 years I was in school. I absolutely hate crying in front of people, and I mainly do it when I’m alone. I don’t think I’ve even ever cried in front of Angela; that’s how much I hate it.

Last person of the opposite sex you screamed at?  I don’t remember ever screaming at a guy.

Do you have any weird sleep habits?  I...wouldn’t know, since I’m asleep when I do them. I always sleep alone too, so no one would be able to tell me how I sleep. All I know is I’m not much of a mover and I usually wake up in the same position (or almost the same position) I fell asleep in.

Do you consider yourself an emotional person?  Yes, I’m sensitive in every sense of the word.

When was the last time you had a headache?  Last Wednesday when not eating for the entire day finally hit me like a truck by the end of my shift. :/

When was the last time you encountered a puppy? Cooper circa September.

Is there anything that happened a long time ago that you still laugh about?  Yes, many instances.

Do you ever try to interpret your dreams?  No, I don’t think anything of them beyond “just weird scenarios of people I know doing weird things.”

What was the last thing you bought impulsively?  Three orders of sushi, 24 pieces in total.

How do you feel about singing songs out loud in front of other people? No amount of money would make me do it.

When was the last time you were feeling really, really nervous?  This afternoon when a supplier we’re currently working with asked to call. Normally my manager would be the one mainly in touch with people like them, but since she was out today I was next in line.

If you’re no longer in school, what is something you miss about it? If you’re still in school, what’s something you think you’re going to miss about it? I miss seeing my friends everyday and being able to hang out after our classes, even if it just means sitting at a table doing nothing together.

Do you use your turn signals when you’re driving?  Excessively. I use it even in the subdivision lmao, or on one-way roads.

How exactly are you feeling right now?  Content. It’s a little hot and mosquitoes keep flying around me, but I’m not letting these affect my mood. Just focusing on the fact that it’s a Friday night and I can let go of work for a couple of days.

Have you ever had to board up your windows because of a hurricane?  Never happened before. I just close up my windows completely so that they don’t slam if ever the wind gets too strong.

Do you tell anyone to chew with their mouths closed?  I don’t recall ever feeling the need to do this. The sound doesn’t bother me much anyway; definitely not as much as it annoys most people.

Have you ever ordered pizza and sent it to someone else’s house?  Yup I did that for Angela and Kata recently, for my birthday, along with truffle mac and cheese. Basically my favorite orders from Mama Lou’s, haha.

What was the first thing you drank when you woke up this morning? I believe it was water.

Do you think stretch marks from having a baby are ugly or badges of honor?  Ugh this question is so outdated I don’t even want to take the time to answer it.

Ever done a keg stand?  No.

Who is the last person you lent money to?  I don’t lend my money.

Do you share clothing with anyone?  Mmm, sometimes. It’s usually me borrowing clothes from my sister, though.

Have you ever visited anyone in a rehab?  Nope.

Was the last thing you drank a Coke or Pepsi product?  No, it was just water. I’d never be caught craving for soda.

Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? No. I experienced having strict parents, so I know it’s not something I would want to pass on to my kids. I want my kids to be able to go out with friends and attend parties and get tattoos (when they’re older) and express their identity without being scared of me.

What was the last kind of chips you ate?  Piattos cheddar chips.

What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t?  Investing and stocks.

What is the last thing you charged?  My laptop.

Have you ever held a snake?  Yes. I’m always the only one in the family willing to do things like this when we go on vacations haha.

[thegayagenda-forkids]

T.J. Goodman and Cyrus Kippen

AO3 Link

Sequel

“I have no idea if this is the cutest or the dorkiest couple outfit you two could have come up with,” Buffy said, adjusting her red and gold tie.

“Says Hermione Granger,” Cyrus retorted, gelling up his hair, frowning as he tried to get it to look *just* right. “You got the flashcards, right?”

“I did,” Buffy said cautiously. “And I think T.J. is going to flip when he sees all of this effort you put in.”

“Of course he put in all this effort,” Andi said, straightening out her bow tie. “Besides, I think I win at the nerdiest outfit.”

Both of her friends groaned. “It doesn’t count if you’re going as an actual nerd!” Cyrus said. “And I still can’t believe I lent you my old glasses for this.”

“You don’t even use them anymore because the prescription is out of date,” she argued back. “Besides, look who’s talking about borrowing clothing items.”

“This is different,” he said as a matter of fact.

“Why is it different?”

“Because...this is the only way to sell it...Besides, my outfit belongs to Buffy.”

“And you can keep it. That is from two basketball teams ago,” she said. Finally Cyrus smiled when he got the hair right and pulled on a zip-up hoodie, leaving it open so that the Jefferson Middle School Basketball jersey underneath was visible.

“Well? Ladies?”

“Whoa…you’re selling it,” Andi said.

“Yup. You look like him.”

Cyrus looked in the mirror and smirked. “I’m no longer Cyrus Goodman. Until Midnight tonight, call me T.J. Kippen.”

______________

Soon there were knocks at the Goodman’s front door. It was the GHC’s dates for the night, and Jonah, all in costume ready to see their other halves. Jonah wore a Shazam costume since everyone said that the actor who played Billy Batson looked like him. He wasn’t really into costumes all that much but they all begged him to the point he felt like a total jerk if he didn’t wear it.

Marty was dressed up like Ron Weasley, so even though he also wore a Gryffindor robe and tie, he swapped out the usual sweater for a burgundy one with a big gold “R” on the font and even found a twig, snapped it, then wrapped an ungodly amount of tape around it. He knew Buffy would commit and stole some of her dad’s old law books to carry around.

Amber wore her cheerleading uniform, but kept her hair down and curled, only putting up a small section into her giant hair bow. Her sneakers were shining white. Her couple outfit with Andi would be the nerd and the cheerleader, but with a gay twist. Instead of fighting for some boy like Taylor Swift’s “You belong with me” video, they were dating each other.

But T.J.’s won out of those guys, and he was excited to see Cyrus’s interpretation. He was dressed up in a patterned button down, had a messenger bag, and even slicked his hair down some. Just in case, he had the old Bar Mitzvah sweatshirt tucked in the bag just in case people didn’t realize what he was doing.

Cyrus’s mom opened the door and T.J. immediately put on his cheesiest smile and went “Hello, hello, hello!”

Mrs. Goodman couldn’t help but start laughing. “Oh my god, I’m not sure if this means you two hang out too much or you two are perfect for each other.”

“Both.” Marty and Amber said together.

“Hey, don’t hate,” he said back to them. “So...where is the wonderful, amazing, puppy-dog of a human being T.J. Kippen?” He joked.

“All three of them are upstairs,” she said. “And I want pictures of you all before you leave for the party!”

They were all headed upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door. Cyrus, dressed as T.J. was the one who opened the door and both boys almost lost composure immediately. They tried not to let it show, but they quickly took a breath and looked looked at each other. “Cyrus, My man,” Cyrus deepened his voice as much as he physically could. “You look Niceberg.”

T.J. had to bite his tongue for a second so that he didn’t laugh and he started talking, getting more and more excited and speaking faster as he did. “Wow Teej, you look absolutely amazing because you are amazing because this is going to be the best Halloween ever and you’re wearing a hoodie that matches your eyes and your jersey which you always look super hot in…”

“Oh my god, what did we sign up for,” Amber groaned and moved past them to go kiss her Nerdy Andi.

“I’m just gonna hang with my totally fly Cy guy,” Cyrus said, pulling a step stool from behind the door and standing on it so he could simulate the reverse of the height difference between the two. Jonah actually broke down laughing at that.

“And I get to be with my super cool, absolutely amazing boyfriend,” T.J. said, looking up at Cyrus. So that’s how it felt for him. T.J. was suddenly very aware of his own height.

“Good god, and I thought we were bad with out-extra-ing each other,” Marty said, putting his arm around Buffy’s shoulders. “Let's get to the party before this they somehow derail everything.”

“How would they even derail it?” Andi asked.

“Sure, act like we aren’t standing in front of you,” T.J. said.

“Do not underestimate my brother’s narcissism,” Amber said. “The sooner we’re out in public, the more guaranteed we are for having the two stay within a PG rating.”

“Hey, just because I can shoot three pointers with ease, or cross the court in seconds flat, doesn’t mean I am so self-absorbed,” Cyrus said, and everyone but Buffy and Andi looked at him in awe.

“What did you say?” Marty asked.

“What? Just tossing out some b-ball lingo. I’m just saying that it doesn’t matter that I truly rock because I can shoot nothing but net from half court, I’m just that amazing of a point guard,” he said. “But I’m an even more amazing boyfriend to my muffin of a man.”

T.J. was staring at him open-mouthed. “H..how?”

Buffy sighed and pulled a twenty dollar bill from her robe pocket. “I regret this so much...you all honestly could not begin to imagine.”

“Now I understand completely,” Marty said. “Come on, we have a party to get to.”

_________________

Everyone piled into the Kippen minivan that Mrs. Kippen allowed them to borrow, with T.J. driving and Cyrus in the passenger seat. “Are you sure you should drive, Underdog?” Cyrus said, back in T.J. mode. “I mean, you did almost fail your driver’s test.”

“I aced the written part and technically passed the driving part by like...a point,” T.J. replied. “I’m sure I’m fine for one night. Besides, your mom thinks I’m a good influence on you.”

“You totally are, you got me to start getting help for math. It was totally Niceburg.”

T.J. hissed under his breath, “I said it that word one time….”

Cyrus smirked at him from the passenger seat.

Marty opened his mouth and Buffy cut him off. “If you say blimey or bloody hell, I’m throwing you out of this car.”

Marty closed his mouth.

“I’m feeling very single right about now,” Jonah said.

“Ironic considering just about everyone attracted to men has had a crush on you,” Buffy said. “Except for me. You were too...swoopy for my type.”

“Swoopy?”

“You know...like Justin Bieber back in the olden days? Swoopy.”

“And now I’m…?”

“Still a little swoopy, but much more human.” Everyone let out noises of agreement.

“Human?” He raised an eyebrow. “Ironic considering I’m dressed like...well…” he swished his Shazam cape.

“Dude, you were above the whole world back in the day,” Cyrus said. “Like some unattainable god! I couldn’t even just say Jonah when I talked to you. I had to say your full name.”

“Wow...so wait...you had a crush on me?” Jonah asked.

“Ladies and gentleman, the most oblivious man on earth,” Marty announced holding his arm out and presenting Jonah. “Raise your hand if you’ve ever been attracted to Jonah Beck.”

Everyone in the car except for Buffy and Marty (and obviously Jonah himself) raised their hands.

“Wait...Andi and Amber I know because I’ve dated both of you on and off...Cyrus...well...yeah I can see that...but...T.J.?”

“Yeah T.J.,” T.J. said. “Why else do you think I was a total dick to you in little league...or just a dick overall?”

“Never doubt the powers of heterocompuslivity and internalized homophobia,” Cyrus said.

“That intense?” Jonah asked and literally everyone except Buffy in the car shouted “YES!”

“Yeah Jo, you and I are the only non-queers in here as far as I can tell.”

“As far as you can tell?”

“Well, I know I’m straight,” she said. “You haven’t said straight or otherwise.”

He paused. “I mean...I’m into girls…”

“Be free to be,” Marty said. “That’s all that matters.”

“Sounds good to me,” he said. “So Buffy is the only confirmed straight, and I just have a question mark dangling.”

“Hey, still unique even among the majority,” she teased.

___________________

The party was being held in some warehouse downtown, and everyone was in costume, some as a couple, most as a standalone costume. Buffy and Marty were just playing around with each other, daring the other to the tabletop games and later, to who could stay in a kiss the longest. People told them to get a room, and those people got the finger.

Amber and Andi spent the whole night dancing and mingling with other people in costume, though sometimes a guy would try to hit on Amber and brought a friend with them to hit on Andi. They always seemed confused when she said that she was in a relationship, and then once or twice, got so annoyed that she pulled Andi in by the bow tie and kissed her deeply.

T.J. and Cyrus meanwhile, continued their shenanigans, pretending to be the other, complimenting both themselves and the other, being all sappy with each other. T.J. even sat down for most of the evening so that Cyrus could stand and keep the height difference.

People loved seeing how in sync the couple were, and even let them choose several songs over the course of the night so the two could dance together. They were even able to reunite almost everyone and do a reprise of “Born this Way,” except this time one of T.J.’s hands was occupied by Cyrus holding it tightly and kissing the back of it. They ended their night with the final chords of the song and kissed each other deeply on stage while everyone cheered. Buffy and Marty also kissed next to Andi and Amber who kissed as well. Jonah jokingly hugged himself tightly and jumped up and down.

_____________

They were all pretty much exhausted by the time they were leaving and thankful that the Macks agreed to host the group sleepover, with the rule being that they all had to sleep in sleeping bags in the living room to police each other.

T.J. and Cyrus were the last ones awake and they were cuddling, leaning against the couch, using their sleeping bags as blankets as they watched some Disney movies on mute with subtitles on as to not wake up the others.

“Hey,” T.J. said softly, his arms around Cyrus, who was using him as a pillow. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” he said sleepily, smiling up at T.J. “I love you too.” They leaned in and kissed each other softly. “I love you Mr. Goodman,” Cyrus teased.

“And I love you Mr. Kippen,” T.J. teased back, his fingers dancing playfully over Cyrus’s palm. “You know...I actually kinda like the sound of that. Mr. Goodman…”

“I was about to say the opposite,” Cyrus said back, his eyes close to closing. “I prefer the sound of Mr. Kippen.”

“How about a compromise then,” T.J. said, starting to get tired as well, but wanting to stay awake for as long as Cyrus was. “Mr. Goodman-Kippen.”

“Mr. Goodman-Kippen,” Cyrus yawned that last part. “I really like that...I can’t wait…”

T.J. watched him fall asleep, breathing evenly against his chest and turned off the T.V., adjusting the two of them so that they were lying down and making sure that Cyrus didn’t wake up. T.J. thought about his plans of surprising the group with a trip to Disney World for their senior year graduation trip, and then presenting Cyrus with a very special small box with a special and important gift inside. He smiled at the thought and laced his fingers with Cyrus’s. “Yeah...can’t wait either…”

Tag list: @theobligatedklutz @anarcoqueer1994 @honey-aes @luzawithoutu @tyrus-and-the-swings @losrgeekwhatevr

[migleefulmoments]

Wow, the tinhats are on fire today. Bitching about it being disrespectful to have their sexuality defined for them (hypocrite, much?), actually saying Darren STATED ON RECORD that he was gay (wut, then why does he need a beard?), reading the minds of Darren's parents, apparently have direct access to Darren, Mia and Ben's bank statements to know how much money they have. These Emmys have really given them a fright and rattled their cages LMFAO.

I literally just wrote a post tagging them about that ridiculous post calling out someone for saying she is straight when she considers herself pan.  Whatever dude.  Getting angry over an anon calling you straight is f’ing pathetic when 1. you are nobody and there is no reason for anybody to give a shit about your sexuality and 2. you aren’t actually talking about your sexuality-pan or otherwise- on your blog. I mean if you had a blog that was about your sexuality then your sexuality should be respected but bitching because someone didn’t check your bio to see if you felt the need to proclaim your sexuality before posting about CC is pathetic.  Franky, I don’t fucking care who anybody except my husband sleeps with. I certainly wouldn’t feel the need to check a Tumblr bio to ascertain the sexuality of the owner of a blog whose sole reason for existence is to discount everything Darren says about himself, his sexuality, his love and to criticize every move he makes while blaming it on an elusive and every-expanding contract, the evil players in Hollywood, his inept yet all-controlling manager and the evil beard he hates but who controls his life simply to torture him and “get promotion”.   Oh, and she also exists to cyberbully Mia, a woman that she is so jealous of she spends her days creating and perpetuating lies to make herself feel better about her pea green envy of Mia. 

Basically the Emmy’s showed the world that Darren is deeply in love with and ridiculously smitten with Mia Swier.  It is really hard to defend your mantra that Chris is “captain of this ship” and supporting Darren with all his might because they have a LOVE for the ages and are in the fight of their lives against the evil of Hollywood when Darren wears his heart on his sleeve and declares his love so freely.  So let’s dissect their lies:

1. Did Darren state on Record that he was gay?  Well if he did it was in one poorly recorded livestream while telling a joke and he was off camera. He HAS actually stated with his mouth, while on camera, in clear language, and in written article after article, that he is straight.  He has elaborated on what it is like to play gay while being straight and he has talked about representation over and over. He has also said- out of his mouth, while on camera- that he is engaged to and loves Mia.  Back to the declaration “I’m gay”. Jordan Roth was Parascoping from an event viewing (Emmys?) and a bunch of guys were standing around. A pic of Taylor Swift in a bathtub had just broke the internet and he made a joke about it. Darren off camera makes a joke like “I see that everyday” and then something garbled is said amongst the laughing and over talking. CCers claim Darren says “but I’m gay” which seems odd that he would declare such a thing in that context, on a livestream. It isn’t a natural response to having just said you see “that sort of thing all the time” and WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE OUT HIMSELF LIKE THAT ON a LIVESTREAM?  Also I have listened to that audio a hundred times and I don’t hear “I’m gay”.  Oh, and Jordan doesn’t respond in the way one would if a closeted friend just screwed up and outed themselves. CCers hang on to that moment like it is a defining CC moment while disregarding and denying all of the times Darren has said he is straight and all the behavior that proves he is with in fact, the fiancee of a woman named Mia

2. Darren’s parents. I posted earlier that I believe the pics are “proof” that Charles doesn’t love or respect Cerina or Darren- he’s walking in front of them after all. He’s also reading his phone- another sign that means he doesn’t actually love or respect those he is with. NOBODY walks in front of someone they love and respect and NOBODY ever looks at their phone when they are with someone they care about and a picture isn’t a snapshot of 0.01 seconds of someone’s life...it is an entire story for strangers to dissect. The pics are are a “stunt” and not at all indicative that the group is annoyed that Paps are literally walking backwards in front of them snapping pictures. Nope they are statements about the disgust the person walking in front carries for the other members of the group. At least THAT is how Tinhatters have seen it every time pap pics of Darren and Mia are released and he’s in front of her or on his phone so it must apply here as well, right? 

3. There was also an argument that Cerina and Charles are pulling stunts,  pretending to be  “one big happy family” because “they love their child so much they would do anything”.  That isn’t how parental love works. Bad behavior, lies, and deception are not OK simply because you do it out of love.  I love my children to death but I would never outright deceive the world by literally participating in “stunts” over and over where I was putting on a performance that was counter to everyone’s best interest. I wouldn’t consider it “supporting my child” by doing anything that kept them in the closet or forcing them to lie over and over or colluding with them to pretend they are engaged to someone they hated. Ethics and morals still matter and doing what is right matters and supporting the good things-not the bad things- in our kids’ lives matter. But the CCers pretend that love matters more than anything...as long as it is about love then nothing else matters.  That is the Disney-princess version of life and love.  It doesn’t hold up in reality. 

4. Speaking of Makes No Sense... The idea that every time Mia is talked about, mentioned, in a photo or standing near Darren he is promoting her. WTF? “Promotion”.  Mia doesn’t even have social media...she isn’t promoting herself. Darren isn’t promoting her.  Stop being so f’ing jealous of her CCers.  It doesn’t look good on you.  

5. Ben...oh lord Ben.  That whole trope is entirely made up.  Ben might have stayed with them long ago but I follow him in IG and he is rarely in LA and never for more than a few nights. There is nothing to suggest he is even staying with them anymore.  Mia and Ben are clearly friends and Mia and Darren both  openly share their lives with her friends. Mia wearing Ben’s hat means absolutely nothing and Ben’s arm around Mia at an IHeartRadio event means they are friends and Ben supporting the bar means it is a fun place to hang out and he likes them.  Nothing more.  The whole story about them in bed and taking pictures on Valentine’s day 1854 is so pathetic and contrived... I just can't. Every time the CCers stomp their feet and yell “Ben Ben Ben HOW CAN YOU IGNORE BEN” I think of Trump and his pathetic attempts to prove that Mueller is a witch hunt...or Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham claiming they aren’t racist. It is just as desperate. 

There are a lot of comments today- made by single woman- about what a healthy relationship should look like. There is nothing about Ben and Mia and Darren except desperate CCers trying discount Darren and Mia’s engagement.  Hell, maybe both Darren and Mia are sleeping with Ben....a throuple if you will.  It doesn’t matter if they are because IT ISN’T ANY OF OUR BUSINESS.  Having been in a relationship for *cough *cough 24+ years with the same man, I can say that there is nothing about Mia and Darren- including Ben- that makes me think it isn't a healthy relationship. Long term relationships are hard work..not the stuff of Disney princess love and CC BS.  If Ben stays with them when he is in town, who cares? He is in town so little. I can imagine staying in hotels gets old and staying with friends whose home is filled with music and singing has to be a joy. 

I agree with you, the Emmys rattled the CC family... big time.  It is hard to ignore the look Darren gave her as he declared her “my darling Mia” and said the most romantic thing I have heard a man use to proclaim to his love ...well, EVER. It is hard posting the same pics of Darren and Chris talking on stage over and over and over and over and pretend that means they are in love or that it wasn’t 10 years ago. They have sunk to arguing that when we watch Glee we aren’t seeing Klaine on screen but rather that is CrissColfer and they aren’t acting..they are in love in RL.  Um, dude NO, those were characters. They were reading lines written for them by writers. They were following stage direction and hitting marks.  After the Emmys, the CCers were left analyzing WHERE Darren and Mia’s noses touched because their kiss during the excitement of hearing his name announced wasn’t perfectly coordinated.  Darren’s aim was a little off -apparently- they bumped noses and that proves they don’t kiss often. I MEAN THAT IS IRREFUTABLE PROOF THEY ARE FAKE.  There was also a proclamation that clearly Mia practiced on objects and other people so she could grab Darren’s face and plant one on him after his name was announced.  Making that kind of shit up is the epitome of desperation. They are running scared. Their entire fandom is based on lies, anger, hate and criticizing people who don’t care about them. So when it falls apart, there is no reason to be a CC Family. Their international friendships which are glued together by their hatred and envy of Mia, ceases to have a reason to exist. When it all falls apart, they have no reason to be so sanctimonious or self righteous and they cease to be internet “famous” as they have labeled themselves.  If they aren’t fighting for Darren’s very soul, they don’t matter. That just sucks. Of course I watch them double down on “how will NEVER marry her” and I know they are setting themselves up for a big fall...it’s a train wreck happening in slow motion. Of course he will marry her. He has said so publicly several times. Their friends congratulated them and showered them with love-ya know, people who actually know them.  I know the CC family will have a few days of anger and then they will regroup and talk about how getting married to one’s beard is the new “breaking up with one’s beard” and that Chris was supporting Darren with everything he had. They will hate the beautiful wedding song Darren and performs for Mia and then they will claim it was really a secret message for them-the people who are really listening- to proclaim his undying love for Chris. Chris will continue to ignore Darren and while most of Hollywood sends Darren and Mia love, the CCers will claim that the ONLY reason Chris wouldn’t send a social media post to Darren is because he contractually can’t. That alone is telling...there is NO other reason he would ignore Darren... I mean, that is the only thing that makes sense, right? 

[sweetnestor]

You Look Happier | Chapter 15

university au, teamiplier + jack

platonic/romance/angst/smut

previous chapter

hey i actually have a song for this chapter: Clean by Taylor Swift

“I am… so glad to be apart of the team,” I said in a stiff voice, a fake smile plastered on my face. I was facing the camera, but not looking directly into it. “I am honored to be… to be - I can’t read the card,” I added in a soft voice.

This was my “introduction” video to go on Mark’s channel. I was sitting in front of the camera that Ethan was holding, and I had to pretend like I was forced to read cue cards. But there weren’t any, and I had to improvise.

“I-I’m honored that Mark asked me to join,” I continued in that stiff, staged voice. “And-”

“No, no, no,” spoke the devil himself. “You begged me to join.”

“Right. I asked like, twelve times and they finally let me in!” I smiled in a way that screamed for help. You could say I was acting. “And I am… excited for all of you to see what I can contribute.” Awkwardly, I gave a thumbs up, my smile looking less and less convincing.

Then, Mark came and sat next to me. “Okay, okay. Honestly, though, Bella is one of us now, and I asked her to join. We’ve got some good stuff coming in the future. Also, we’re stranded in Boston!” He went on another tangent that was completely extra before finishing the video.

It was true, though. After PAX, our flight back to LA had been cancelled due to the blizzard. I wasn’t sure what was worse, being forced to be away from my home or the impending doom of having to get back on a plane. While I was able to function somewhat properly after a crying fit, I found myself wearing thin. I know, what else is new? That feeling was probably going to stick for a while, but I guess it’s apart of recovery.

We stayed at Amy’s friend’s house for the time being. At the moment, it was uncertain how long we would be here in Boston. Three days, possibly. I tried not to let that get to me. These things happen. They happen to everyone… except Signe, who got on her flight back to Denmark just before the blizzard hit. Jack would have gone with her, but it was still the middle of the semester. He did mention that they would be okay while he was still at uni, though.

Speaking of YouTube University, I wasn’t sure what my future was with that school. I mean, I was going to be on the road in a few months, on tour. I was going to have a hand in creating the show. I was going with them. It was safe to say none of us were returning to YouTube University in the fall. It felt weird to have future plans.

Since we had nothing else to do, we made a movie trailer. Mark, being Mark, got naked and sat outside in the snow. After all this time, I still didn't know what went on in his head sometimes, but you had to admit he was dedicated. It was fun, though. I got to contribute ideas… and hold the camera for most of the shots.

I also decided to properly look through my social media later at night. We all had to sleep in the living room of the small house, and it was the first time I had a moment of silence. I was stuck between Ethan and Amy, but they were both asleep already.

The same stalker photo of Ethan and I holding hands had been reposted many times. Added to that were professional photos from his signing. I was caught in the background in several of the fan photos, along with the selfies I took with some of them. The various captions are what made me smile, though.

“I met Bella at the signing!! She was so nice and she's so cute with ethan!!”

“THEY'RE SO CUTE OH MY GOD”

“Amyplier whomst? I only know ethella!”

“My new parents”

“I hope Ethan and Bella know we love and support them a whole lot :’)”

It was like a breath of fresh air. I was tempted to post that stalker picture on Instagram with the blue and sparkly heart emojis, but it was probably too soon for that. I knew some of my followers came from Ethan's community, yet I wasn't expecting them to be nice and supportive. It was a different reaction from my last relationship, that's for damn sure.

I let out an audible sigh, glancing at Ethan, who had already fallen asleep. I was still experiencing insomnia from being so far from home, so I sat up and tried to find more ways to keep myself busy.

“Can't sleep?” asked a quiet, deep voice.

I turned, finding Mark sitting on the couch. Last time I saw him, he was lying down next to his girlfriend.

“I won't sleep until we get home,” I replied as I locked my phone and shoved it under my pillow.

He nodded. “I still can't believe you actually came here. You got on a plane.”

“Yeah, and I had to resort to drinking in order to do it,” I told him as I crawled up onto the couch and sat next to him.

“You still did it, though,” he said. “You didn't back out of it. You accomplished a lot this weekend. You should be proud.”

I shrugged. “I guess I can't disagree.”

A silence fell over us, but it was comfortable. I had been alone with Mark plenty of times in my life. I hadn’t been alone with him in a room in a very long time, despite the fact that we had been around each other a lot lately. Well, even now we weren't exactly alone, but we were the only ones awake. Any other time, I would have gone to extreme lengths to avoid seeing him at all. But given the last couple of months or so, I was finding it easier to coexist with him. Here we were, sitting in the dark, with the other five asleep soundly around us. We knew this moment was inevitable, and while it was awkward, it was kind of liberating. As always, I wasn’t the one to start the conversation.

“Are you happy with him?” he asked quietly.

Moment of truth. Everything was already out in the open. Everyone knew about my suicide attempt, everyone knew about Mark’s plan to leave me before Amy came along, and everyone knew about me and Ethan. All that was left to do was tie up the loose ends.

“Are you happy with her?” I asked in response. It was bold of me to say that, and Mark knew it too.

He cracked a smile. “I asked you first.”

“Honestly? Yes,” I answered. “Actually, I think… I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Mark smiled wider. “That’s really good to hear. I’ve wanted to hear that since… I don’t know how long. You deserve to be happy.”

I couldn’t believe I was still fond of him after all this time. My heart swelled up at his words, but I didn’t want to dwell on myself for too long. “So what about you?”

“I’m absolutely the happiest I’ve ever been,” he said. “Not just with Amy - and she does make me very happy - it’s everything I’m doing. I finally feel like I’m doing something good, I don’t even have the words for it.”

“Good.” I was smiling so wide, it was hard to hide it.

“Do you still hate Amy?” It sounded lighthearted, but I took it seriously.

“I never hated her. All the anger and resentment was directed at you, no offense. I mean, it was hard. I won’t lie, that was the most devastating breakup I’ve ever had. And, I think there’s always going to be a part of me that will see her as the girl you left me for. But, for the most part, I’m over it, and I’m glad you two are happy.”

Mark nodded, sitting back against the sofa. “Fair enough…” Then he sighed and brought his knees up to hug them. “I just… I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for leaving you like that, and for driving you to that point.”

I reached over and placed my hand over his. “Hey. You didn’t know I was going to do that. No one saw that coming. You did what you had to do in order to be happy. What I did, that’s all on me. And look at me, I’m still here and I’m happy, and I’m telling you to move on from that. There’s bigger things going on now. It’s okay.”

“Bella, if I had lost you…”

“But you didn’t. You can’t put the whole blame on yourself. It’s just something that happened. I had it coming, anyway. With or without you. But it's in the past now.”

He nodded. “I know. I’m glad you’re still here. I’m glad that we can still be friends.”

That brought another thought to mind. “I think… I believe that people come and go into our lives for a reason. I think we’re meant to be in each other’s lives, whether we’re lovers, exes, or friends. And if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have met Jack, and then I wouldn’t have found Ethan. I wouldn’t be here talking to you now, and realizing just how important you are to me. You've brought good things into my life.”

Mark was smiling, and he squeezed my hand.

“And I think you were meant to find Amy,” I continued. “Whether I was mentally stable or not, she was meant to come along. I know plenty of things have contributed to your happiness now, but I know she’s done way more for you than I ever could have.”

“That’s what I think about you and Ethan,” Mark told me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much. He's got you getting on planes and going to signings and panels… It's incredible.”

“I made those decisions, not him,” I reminded him.

“Right, of course,” Mark said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you… without anxiety, either.”

“Yeah… I think anxiety is always going to be apart of me. And… I think I’m trying to be okay with it. Like, a bunch of shit happened and the effects of all of that is my anxiety disorder. But I’m trying not to hate it as much, because I’m stuck with it for life.”

“So you might as well work with it,” he finished for me. “That’s good. You know I’ll be here to support you through all of that, right? Despite everything that’s happened between us, I still care about you so much.”

“I care about you too.”

“And you’re actually happy with Ethan?”

“Yes. I don’t even have the words for it.”

I looked over at the guy sleeping beside me. All of these emotions surged in my chest. Here I was, in good terms with my ex, and having a happy relationship with my new boyfriend. My anxiety was at an all time low, something I never thought I would feel. I had people I could call my family.

We heard Tyler groan in his sleep, mumbling something about keeping it down. Mark and I smiled at each other, and we knew there was nothing left to say.

_____

stay tuned for a thank you post following this chapter :)

OH LOOK ANOTHER FIC

[norskies]

Every single thing I noticed and felt while watching Taylor’s LWYMMD music video

By now I think it’s a fair assumption to make that you have already seen @taylorswift ‘s new video for Look What You Made Me Do (it had over 39 million views in the first 24 hours). If you’re like me you may have rewatched it about 13 million times trying to decipher all the hidden meanings. If you’re not (cool) like me, you may have just watched it once and wondered: “what on earth did I just see??”.

Lucky for you I’ve decided to document my entire emotional journey through the 4:15 video. Disclaimer 1: many of these theories are my own opinions or theories I’ve read from other fans. I do not pretend to understand the entire genius of T-Swift. Disclaimer 2: I am a 100% biased Taylor Swift fan and therefore this analysis is 100% biased with my love for Tay. 

HERE WE GO

Ok, opening scene. Spooky. Fits the soft but slightly creepy lullaby intro. Honestly thought we might be stepping into Hogwarts.

Here is one of the first of many “TS” we will see throughout the video.

For anyone who has been following Taylor the past year, this is a pretty clear reference to the online hate Taylor received after being “exposed” by Kim Kardashian (note: she was in no way exposed). Trolls began to fill social media with “RIP Taylor’s career” and “Taylor Swift Is Over Party”. It is a fitting place to begin the video.

Does that dress look familiar to anyone? It appears to be the same dress Taylor wore in the Out Of The Woods music video (the last video from the 1989 era...symbolic right?).

What is that on the tombstone behind Taylor? Nils Sjoberg. This was the alias name Taylor used when she helped write Calvin Harris’ “This Is What You Came For” (he later appeared to be less than happy once Taylor started receiving credit for the song). 

We now see the old Taylor that Zombie Taylor is burying. This Taylor is dressed the same as when Taylor attended the Met Gala in 2014 (marking the beginning of the 1989 era). Here we literally see post-1989 Taylor burying pre-1989 Taylor. *tears*

Taylor transforms from the graveyard into this beautiful scene. Several things to point out here. Taylor is almost literally drowning in jewels. Perhaps alluding to the media’s perception of Taylor being money obsessed? If you look closely, we also see a single dollar bill lying in the bathtub with her. Most likely referencing the symbolic 1 dollar Taylor requested in her countersuit against a former radio DJ who sexually assaulted her (Taylor won this case). Finally, and this may be a stretch but notice on the floor to the left of the bathtub what looks like a heart shaped locket? It’s possible this is the same locket that Calvin Harris gave Taylor for their 1 year anniversary. Wow. Brilliant. 

ENTER SNAKES. We now get all the snake references we could ever need (also clearing up the snake video clues Taylor teased just a few days before releasing LWYMMD). The snakes themselves are a reference to the hate Taylor received after the Kim/Kanye blow up. Haters filled her Instagram and Twitter with snake emojis implying that Taylor herself was a snake. Looks like the joke is on them now. Also notice the subtle, “et tu brute” on the chair? We see this several times in this scene, of course referring to the betrayal Taylor has felt from people she thought were her friends. 

And Snakes! Check out Taylor sipping on her tea that she now gets to serve up. It’s her time to tell the story and she’s doing it with this BA Salazar Slytherin look. 

The golden car crash. This is an interesting scene because it has many interpretations. My gut reaction was Katy Perry. The feud is well known and Katy added fuel to the fire by releasing her song “Swish Swish” that was meant to be a dig at Tay. I think she looks very much like Katy here with the sunglasses and the short blonde hair. Notice she is even holding a single Grammy (something that Katy Perry does not have). However, it’s also been pointed out that this may also be a Kim Kardashian reference (which I will discuss later).

A further analysis of the car crash shows the paparazzi taking pictures after Taylor crashes. Perhaps symbolically saying that the media loves to see Taylor suffer and fail? 

Two things to note here. 1) Jaguar? Your guess is as good as mine. 2) The cute little guy is wearing a golden 13. 

Next, we find Taylor in what looks like a giant bird cage. Wearing orange to perhaps symbolize that she feels like a prisoner at times? We also see a snake tattoo on her right leg. 

At this point in the song, Taylor says “and threw a feast”. This could be a reference to KP’s song Bon Appetit. But it is unclear. Also, notice the rat on the table? Yeup just thought I’d point him out. 

Now, this is a fun scene. Tay is robbing a currently undisclosed location. The cat masks could be a cute play at Taylor’s love for cats. Or could be another hit at Katy. Either way, it’s a great scene. Her sweatshirt reads “blind for love” as we know Taylor frequently referred to herself as a hopeless romantic. 

We are now introduced to biker chick Taylor. It might seem a little out of place at first. But remember when Taylor got hate for her Bad Blood video apparently ripping off of Britney Spear’s Toxic? This very well may be alluding to that. 

Absolutely love this part. We now see what Taylor was robbing. A streaming company. Of course. After the backlash, she got from leaving Spotify and writing her letter to Apple this scene makes perfect sense. Side note: absolutely adored Taylor’s letter to Apple. You go girl. 

What is Taylor doing dictating what looks like an army of life size barbies? This is a reference to the “squad” and the comments Taylor received that her friendship circle was more like a cult of freakishly perfect looking women as opposed to a genuine group of friends. 

Which of course leads us to the falling out of the squad the media claimed happened but didn’t. 

Taylor enters the mansion. As soon as she enters the room the men immediately step up to do her bidding. As if Taylor is their commander and they must obey. 

This is our first glimpse of the mysterious airplane Taylor. We only see short glimpses of her but she seems to serve an important role. She perhaps represents the real Taylor that neither the media nor the fans truly get to see or understand fully. 

The boys are back. 8 of them all in line (apparently something only Beyonce is allowed to do if you ask Twitter). She could be representing her past relationships and the scorn she received for each one. Fun fact: it’s Taylor’s back up dancers from the 1989 world tour! 

The I <3 TS shirt. Tom Hiddleston wore an I <3 TS shirt while dating Taylor. He got mocked and Taylor got called manipulative for “forcing him to wear it”. Taking a wild guess here, but pretty sure Tom makes his own wardrobe choices.

This is our first real glimpse at the “Reputation” era Taylor. She’s dark. Her hair is slicked back. And she looks like she is 100% done apologizing. She is standing on top of a mound of the “old Taylors”. 

Shoutout to Fearless era Taylor with the iconic 13 on her hand. What a gem. 

This is one of the best shots in the video. A look at the past decade of Taylor. How many Taylor’s can you spot? 

More snakes. Side note: You can actually buy this snake ring on Taylor’s merch store. Taylor now reveals to us the most anticipated line of the song. “I’m sorry the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cuz she’s dead.” This line brings the entire song together as well as the symbolism of Taylor wiping her social media a week prior to LWYMMD release. The old Taylor is dead. The haters have killed her. 

Taylor breaks it down with her backup dancers to some pretty great choreography. I like to think of this as shade to all the people who made fun of Taylor’s dancing abilities. Our girl can dance.

Annnnnnnnd boom! Our Jaguar friend is back. Still unsure what he represents but he’s pretty cute. 

SNAKES 

Let’s pause to appreciate the adorable wink Tay gives us here. Reputation may be a darker album than we are used to but Taylor is still the light-hearted girl we’ve always known. 

Wow, she’s like Super Woman. 

This is one of the best views we get of the mysterious airplane Taylor. Who are you??? 

We finally come to the last and most important scene. 15 Taylors. 14 lined out in front and one back on the airplane. There just so happens to be 15 songs on the new album reputation...coincidence?? Also, notice TS6 written on the end of the plane? Subtle genius. 

You Belong With Me Taylor is precious. She’s so happy and genuinely surprised that she has accomplished all that she has. But everyone hates her for that and will drag her down until she no longer will show that much genuine and pure happiness at an award show again. Also, recognize that shirt from the YBWM music video? Only now it’s slightly different. This time it has real names of Taylor’s real friends you might recognize. Like Selena, Ed, and Jack. 

As the scene continues we see Shake It Off Taylor mock YBWM Taylor for being surprised all the time. Mansion Taylor calls Zombie Taylor/SIO Taylor a b**ch and Zombie Talyor responds with “don’t call me that!” Alluding to Kanye calling Taylor this in his song “Famous”. In real life, Taylor responded by making a very strong statement against Kanye’s words during her Album of the Year acceptance speech at the Grammys later that year. 

A particularly heart-wrenching scene. Fearless Taylor tries to calm everyone down but gets shut down by We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Tour) Taylor, calling her a fake. We see the young innocent Taylor begin to cry. The young sweet girl who got stomped on by the world for making music about love. It is sure to elicit a few tears. 

“There she goes playing the victim again”. Taylor is literally beating the haters to the punch. 

Met Gala Taylor Asks Katy/Kim Taylor what she’s doing and she responds with “getting receipts...gonna edit this later.” This could be interpreted in two ways. If this is meant to be Katy, it could be referencing the song “Swish Swish” where Katy claims that “karma keeps receipts”. Or if it is Kim, it would be naturally referencing the snapchat videos Kim perhaps “edited” of Kanye and Taylor’s phone conversation. Side note: it is illegal to record people without their consent in certain states, Kim. 

Finally, we see 2009 VMA Taylor who had been interrupted by Kanye West while she was accepting her award for Best Female Music Video of the Year. She quotes 2016 Taylor by saying “I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative”. Which all the other Taylor’s and symbolically the world respond with... 

“SHUT UP”. Here Taylor is telling us that no matter what she does or doesn’t do, she will be judged. It isn’t fair but it is something she has accepted. She will no longer be providing any explanation. There will just be reputation.

[obtusemedia]

In Ascending Order: Ranking Taylor Swift’s singles worst to best

After slowly tilting her sound away from Nashville more and more with each album, Taylor Swift made a clean break from country five years ago with her synthpop masterpiece, 1989. It was about as successful as a pop album could be, producing three massive #1 hits and cementing Swift as the world’s biggest popstar.

Fast forward three years, and her next album, reputation, was bitter and moody — a good fit for the American landscape of 2017, but a far cry from the bright melodies and fun sing-a-longs of her previous smashes, Red and 1989. The lead single hit #1, but quickly stumbled down the charts and the album’s follow-up singles didn’t have the same impact. But you’ll still find those who defend reputation, and a year and a half later, it’s clear there are some gems hidden in the wreckage. 

Now that Swift is entering her 30th year of life with a catalogue that’s ran the gamut from country-fried ballads about teen crushes to vengeful electropop bangers about Kanye West, I thought it was a good time to look back on her career. Because despite her negative (sorry) reputation right now, Swift has contributed many great songs to the modern pop canon.

Here’s the ground rules: The song had to be a single from one of Taylor Swift’s six albums. No deep cuts (apologies to “All Too Well”), no soundtrack tunes (sorry, Fifty Shades) and no featured spots on others’ songs (asking me to listen voluntarily to John Mayer is too much to ask, sorry).

#37: “End Game” feat. Future and Ed Sheeran (reputation, 2017)

Listen, Taylor, if you want to have guest rappers on your single, that’s fine. But maybe get, you know, actual rappers. Ed Sheeran doing his awkward schtick certainly does not count. If this was a hip-hop flavored pop song, fine — then why is legitimate rapper Future here? The Atlanta trap icon feels so out of place on this gentrified R&B cut, and he only gets a few bars anyways, making his appearance seem more like Swift wanting cred more than anything else.

Honestly, if that was the only problem, “End Game” wouldn’t be last place on this list. But nope, the song itself is a giant mess in itself. The production aims for sexy and nocturnal and lands in lethargic. And what is this song even about? Is Taylor making a song about how cool she and her boyfriend are, or about her negative reputation? The post-chorus, which suddenly veers into that later topic, tries so desperately to be a chant-along and it falls utterly flat.

With all of Swift’s other singles, even the ones I don’t like, I at least understand how someone could like it. But I have no clue who “End Game” is for, or who would enjoy listening to it.

#36: “Ours” (Speak Now, 2010)

I’ve listened to this song many times, and I find it hard to remember a single hook or line. “Ours” isn’t aggressively awful, but it is painfully bland, and I have no plans on listening to this nondescript ballad after I’m done writing this.

#35: “Fifteen” (Fearless, 2008)

I can’t take away the good intentions of “Fifteen.” The general message of being wary of manipulative older men (or, in this case, high school seniors) and enjoying youth while it lasts is nice, if a bit cliché.

But this song still bugs me. Swift sings the story of her and her (real-life!) friend Abigail’s experiences as ninth-graders like she’s a wise elder, looking back with years of experience. But she was only 18 when she wrote “Fifteen” — I’m sure she matured some in those three years, but once you realize that, it makes the whole song come off as fairly condescending.

Couple the after-school special lyrics with a sickeningly sweet acoustic guitar musical style, and “Fifteen” doesn’t hit the mark.

#34: “Gorgeous” (reputation)

The lyrics aren’t the problem here (except that any Angeleno knows that at the intersection of Sunset and Vine, it’s just a Walgreens). Nah, it’s the shrink-wrapped production that drives me nuts. There was the potential for a great, 1989-esque pop song here, but it got neutered.

#33: “Mean” (Speak Now)

Given that Swift eventually became the music industry’s Regina George, this song has aged horribly. Also, this sounds way too much like the Country Bear Jamboree for me to take it seriously.

#32: “Bad Blood” feat. Kendrick Lamar (1989, 2014)

The worst song from Swift’s best album, “Bad Blood” is a clunky mess that frankly doesn’t go hard enough. If you’re going to make a diss track towards Katy Perry, go for the kill shot! Prism was mediocre, her whole look was tacky, she wrote this disaster — Swift had plenty of options. But I guess she felt adding a couple phoned-in Kendrick Lamar verses, getting Selena Gomez and Lena Dunham (??) in the music video, and spouting clichés did the job better. *shrugs* At least it’s catchy.

(Side note: Perry obviously lost that feud, but “Teenage Dream” is absolutely flawless and probably better than any song Swift wrote)

#31: “Everything Has Changed” feat. Ed Sheeran (Red, 2012)

“Everything Has Changed” has a gorgeous, wilting chorus, and Swift and Sheeran have clear chemistry. Beyond that, it’s unfortunately kind of forgettable.

#30: “Fearless” (Fearless)

I’m honestly not sure why this needed to be a single. It’s fine and all, but it doesn’t stick in the brain compared to Fearless’ other smash hits.

#29: “New Year’s Day” (reputation)

Ending the brash reputation with a quiet, sparse piano ballad was a smart move, and the bittersweet “New Year’s Day” is a solid enough tune. 

But here’s the thing — Swift wasn’t the only popstar in 2018 to put a minimalist, Jack Antonoff-produced piano song on her album. Lorde did nearly the exact same thing just a few months earlier with the heartbreaking “Liability,” which is much rawer and more intense than “New Year’s Day.” In other words, when I hear Swift’s ballad, I enjoy it, but I find myself wishing she went for the emotional jugular like Lorde did.

#28: “Tim McGraw” (Taylor Swift, 2006)

Here’s the part where I admit that I’m really not into country music, so a lot of Swift’s very early material isn’t for me. But, like with other genres I don’t love, I can at least respect talent, and “Tim McGraw” is a great piece of detailed, nuanced songwriting. But acoustic-y country ballads will never be my favorite.

#27: “The Last Time” feat. Gary Lightbody (Red)

Here, we have the opposite situation as “Tim McGraw” — a musical style I love, but not done very well.

These types of Coldplay-esque, faux-indie power ballads were totally my thing back in the day (shoutout to The Fray and obviously, Coldplay). But although “The Last Time” does have real bonafides with its soaring chorus, great guitar solo, and Snow Patrol frontman Gary Lightbody contributing vocals, it just doesn’t click. The duo doesn’t have a lot of chemistry, and the epic feel shoots for “Chasing Cars” and lands closer to...one of Snow Patrol’s other songs that nobody remembers.

#26: “...Ready For It?” (reputation)

I’d love to just make a snarky joke about Swift trying to rap and embarrassing herself in the process (which she kind of does) ... but I can’t lie, this is a total guilty pleasure. It’s about as close to a classic Ke$ha song as we’re going to get in the gloomy late-2010′s, so I can forgive the try-hard vibe.

#25: “Our Song” (Taylor Swift)

This is the very first of Swift’s songs I ever heard. Naturally, being a 13-year-old wannabe snob at the time, I hated it immediately.

Over a decade later, I can appreciate “Our Song” for its adorable charms and extremely quotable lyrics (“when you talk reeeeeeal slow” is my personal favorite). But it still rubs me the wrong way a bit, probably because Swift was pretending to be a southern hick when she was actually raised by a wealthy family in Reading, Pennsylvania. ...but it’s still a solid pop tune.

#24: “Mine” (Speak Now)

So uh...I guess Swift really wanted to write a Bruce Springsteen song? Specifically, a more optimistic version of “The River,” with a romantically doomed teenage flame sputtering out into adult financial troubles.

But obviously, a song about a shotgun wedding and blue-collar poverty wasn’t going to sell to Swift’s audience, so she gave the trope an uplifting spin, complete with a bright, peppy chorus in a major key. And it kind of works! I’m not going to pretend that “Mine” is top-tier Taylor, but sometimes rough stories do have a happy ending.

#23: “Should’ve Said No” (Taylor Swift)

A nice and pissed-off song about a cheating boyfriend, “Should’ve Said No” has a great, visceral chorus and Swift puts 100 percent of the blame on her scummy ex, who’s trying to weasel his way back into the relationship. I will say this about country: it’s a great vehicle for breakup songs.

#22: “The Story of Us” (Speak Now)

This is a great example of a very under-used style of breakup song — the slowly-drifting-apart story. It’s not usually as fiery, but it’s a lot more realistic and relatable. The best recent example I can think of is The 1975′s new wave heartbreaker “A Change of Heart,” which admittedly, is a lot better than “The Story of Us.”

Still, Swift gives the trope a nice effort here, and the charging guitars perfectly match her growing frustration at this boy who gets more and more distant as time goes on. The book framing device is a nice twist too (“NEXT CHAPTER.”), and it all adds up to one of Swift’s more underrated singles.

#21: “Look What You Made Me Do” (reputation)

Ahh yes, the infamous Kanye West diss track. Let’s be clear, nobody looked good in this feud — Taylor came off as vindictive, back-stabbing and petty. Then Kanye lost any moral high ground by wearing MAGA hats and buddying up to Trump.

The funny thing is, the songs from both artists that are central to this feud — “Look What You Made Me Do” and Kanye’s “Famous,” the song that reignited Swift’s rage — are both deeply ridiculous songs that I love despite my better judgement. The main issue with Swift’s song is that she can’t decide whether to play the cackling villain or the victim. The smart move would’ve been to lean into her dark side, like Kanye himself did with Yeezus, but she isn’t willing to completely do that, which makes the song have a pretty awkward tone.

YET. “Look What You Made Me Do” is still way too much fun for me to hate. The “I’m Too Sexy”-aping chorus? Love it. The thumping, wonderfully stupid Black Eyed Peas-esque production? Give me more! “I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD!!” — that might be my favorite part of all.

It’s a total disaster, but it’s a highly enjoyable one. But considering that I find other bombs like Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP fascinating too, maybe my opinion isn’t valid on this one.

#20: “22″ (Red)

I read a tweet once that called this song the “Kidz Bop ‘Tik Tok.’” Don’t remember who wrote that, but they’re absolutely right. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! It’s probably the closest Swift came to a squeaky-clean Carly Rae Jepsen banger.

#19: “White Horse” (Fearless)

The darker cousin of “Love Story,” Swift proved with “White Horse” she could also use classic tropes to convey weepy ballads as well as the sweeping romances. I honestly wish the lyrics were a little less vague — usually Swift is hyper-specific, which serves her well in these breakup songs — but Swift’s emotive performance carries the song regardless.

#18: “Begin Again” (Red)

Musically, the sleepy sound of “Begin Again” doesn’t do a lot for me, but the lyrical detail and story are stellar. After listening to so many Taylor Swift songs about crushing heartbreak or whirlwind romances for this list, it’s nice to hear a more understated song about a first-date that goes well. It especially works well at the end of Red, a fairly angsty album. 

“Begin Again” might still have some exaggerations (nobody’s first date is that perfect, Taylor, come on now), but the more grounded, mature tone was a nice change of pace for Swift.

#17: “Shake It Off” (1989)

This song is so, so stupid. And yet I know every single word. Yes, even the incredibly awkward rap breakdown (“THIS. SICK. BEAT!”).

I can’t in good conscience name “Shake It Off” as a top-tier Swift single, but it’s damn fun, despite its awful lyrics. Which basically makes it — gasp — a Katy Perry single. Oh, the irony.

#16: “Delicate” (reputation)

Swift went nocturnal with this sleeper hit. I couldn’t get into it at first, but it eventually grew on me, with its subtle production and charmingly insecure lyrics. Who among us hasn’t nervously second-guessed everything they’ve said or done when they’re around a new romantic partner?

The vocoders and slowly building percussion just add to what was already a solid groove, and it’s no wonder that “Delicate” eventually creeped up the charts despite the fact that, as Swift said herself, her reputation’s never been worse.

#15: “Picture To Burn” (Taylor Swift)

If I’m going to enjoy a country song, it better be ridiculous and stuffed with as many goofy clichés as possible. The single can’t take itself too seriously (and should be super catchy, of course). This is why some of the few country songs I semi-ironically love sound less like George Strait and more like “Man! I Feel Like A Woman.” If all country music was as silly as “Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy,” I’d probably like the genre a lot more.

“Picture To Burn” isn’t quite on those songs’ level, but it nearly matches the same level of yee-haw fun. Swift puts on an aggressive Southern accent, there’s a literal banjo solo at one point, and it’s about the best country topic there is: getting revenge on your ex!

Swift leaves no shot unfired as she calls out her former boyfriend for her “stupid ���ol pickup truck you never let me drive,” calls him a stupid redneck, threatens to date all his friends and even gets her daddy involved. (At one point, the song contained a lyric about telling his friends he was gay, but thankfully, she later removed it)

It’s not quite “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,” but it’ll do in a pinch.

#14: “Wildest Dreams” (1989)

One of the smartest things Swift’s done during her blockbuster pop era is cribbing ideas from other musicians and adapting them to her own personality. As mentioned earlier, “22″ is her version of a Ke$ha party song, “Mine” is like one of Springsteen’s heartland tunes, and “Shake It Off” is an intentionally dumb Katy Perry single.

But probably the most obvious example of this is “Wildest Dreams.” And the artist Swift cribs from on this sweeping ballad is more of a cult favorite than a true pop megastar: Lana Del Rey. Don’t lie, you hear it too: the cooing, sensual vocals, the cinematic sound, the lyrics that evoke classic Hollywood romance. It’s basically just “Summertime Sadness” without the Spaghetti western guitars.

And that’s absolutely a good thing! Although Swift doesn’t have Lana’s stunning alto vocal (sorry, but you know it’s true), she can still absolutely play that classic movie starlet role. Add a bit more modern pop structure to Del Rey’s indie-darling formula, and you’ve got the recipe for an easy standout track.

#13: “You Belong With Me” (Fearless)

Pointing out that “You Belong With Me,” arguably Swift’s biggest early hit, is problematic isn’t a new take. The idea of that someone inherently “belongs” with you because you like them has been debunked. I’m sorry this guy doesn’t you like you back Taylor, but maybe he has a good thing going with that cheer captain who wears short skirts? Let him be.

...but on the other hand, Swift was 19 when she wrote “You Belong With Me.” Most people criticizing the lyrics here are doing so through an adult vantage. Yes, the message is toxic, but it’s also extremely accurate to how teenage crushes work. I can promise you that I had similar feelings in junior high/high school, and I know I’m not alone in that regard. 

Also, “You Belong With Me” is far too catchy and bouncy to truly hate. So although I can’t rank it too high due to the iffy lyrics, I can’t deny that it does tap into some raw teen emotions, even if they’re ugly.

#12: “I Knew You Were Trouble.” (Red)

I was there. That fateful day in 2012 when Taylor Swift *gasp* MADE A DUBSTEP SONG. People were snarking that this was basically just Skrillex for the Forever 21 crowd, sharing around that (hilarious) screaming goat remix, and so on.

But seven years later, although that dubstep production is oh-so-early-’10s, “I Knew You Were Trouble” absolutely holds up. If Swift was going to abandon country, why not go all out? Besides, the drop still hits with a lot of force, mirroring the visceral anger of her lyrics. If anything, it isn’t intense enough. Maybe she really should’ve gotten Skrillex to produce...

#11: “Out Of The Woods” (1989)

YES inject that synthy Jack Antonoff production right into my veins.

I’m still upset that “Out Of The Woods” wasn’t a smash like 1989′s other singles, but it is a pretty weird song. The chorus is aggressively repetitive (its only real flaw), it’s a breakup song that’s less relatable lyrically and more abstract, and America was too busy paying attention at the time to Bieber semi-apologizing.

But THAT PRODUCTION. It’s nervy yet propulsive, with a quiet-loud-quiet setup that any good power ballad needs. Antonoff even provides some backup vocals, which is always a welcome addition. Swift herself really sells the song too. I wouldn’t say she’s a powerhouse singer, but she’s really giving it her all here in terms of vocal force — something she typically shies away from.

“Out Of The Woods” will likely be lost to time for all but the most ardent Swifties. But for those who love it, may I suggest listening to some Bleachers?

#10: “Back To December” (Speak Now)

The stereotype of Swift’s breakup songs, particularly in the early stage of her career, was that they weren’t self-aware and basically demonized whatever boy the song was about (or the girl she was jealous of). And while that’s not 100 percent true, the stereotype did have some merit back then.

That’s why “Back To December” was rightfully hailed as a breath of fresh air for Swift, and it’s held up extremely well nine years later. The perspective has shifted — in this story, she’s the one admitting guilt for ending the relationship. It’s a very measured, mature song, but with still enough tender emotion and regret to stay relatable. The orchestral sweep is a nice touch as well, emphasizing the tragedy of the situation.

Also, fun fact: This song is about Swift’s relationship with Twilight hunk Taylor Lautner. Maybe the relationship didn’t work out because she thought it was weird to date a guy with the same name? It was probably because she’s more of a Hunger Games fan.

#9: “Getaway Car” (reputation)

Here’s the one thing reputation improved upon from 1989. As just a cursory listen could tell you, “Getaway Car,” sonically, is extremely similar to “Out Of The Woods.” They’re both pulsing, synthy new wave tracks with a heavy Bleachers influence — considering they’re both Antonoff productions, not surprising at all. It even steals a lyric from Bleachers’ “Rollercoaster.”

So what makes “Getaway Car” a superior sequel? Well, it’s a smoother ride, for sure — the aggressively repetitive chorus in “Out Of The Woods” was that song’s weak spot. And “Getaway” has a more clear concept as well, being about a Bonnie and Clyde-inspired escape from a failing relationship, invoking all the bittersweet emotions that come along with that. “Out Of The Woods” is...about a car crash with Harry Styles? I guess?

It’s really a personal call. They’re both amazing songs, I just happen to think Swift and Antonoff refined their collaboration on this later attempt.

#8: “Teardrops On My Guitar” (Taylor Swift)

“Teardrops On My Guitar” is both obviously written by a 15-year-old kid, but also so, so much better than that implies. 

The lyrics here are extremely wholesome and corny — unlike “You Belong With Me,” Swift doesn’t even take any shots at the girl her crush is currently dating, and there’s references to “wishing stars,” something I think I’ve only ever heard in Disney songs. And like many of Swift’s early songs, it absolutely nails the yearning emotions of a teenage crush, especially for those of us who were too shy to do anything about them.

But obviously, Swift wasn’t an average ninth-grader. The lilting melody in the verses of “Teardrops” fits the lyrics perfectly. And the song comes off both very polished and radio-ready, yet still plucked right from the pages of a diary. Yes, Swift co-wrote the song with pop-country songwriter Liz Rose, but that’s not unusual for a very young artist. Lorde’s “Royals” (written at age 16) had a co-writer, too.

The simple beauty of “Teardrops” is what brought Swift into the mainstream, and there’s a good reason for that: it’s an incredible start to a career.

#7: “Blank Space” (1989)

“Blank Space” might be the only intentional, successful self-own in recent pop history. I can’t think of another time when an artist eviscerated their public persona with such surgical precision, and it actually made them more endearing.

Tired of trolls constantly making jokes about her short relationships and constant breakup songs, Swift decided to make the joke herself, 8 Mile-style. In “Blank Space,” she paints herself as a psychotic maneater who will drive any guy insane. Out of all her disses over the years, she might have saved the best barb for herself: “Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.” The instant tone switch from the cooing, seductive first verse to the furious, delusional second verse is brilliant.

If there’s one flaw to “Blank Space,” it’s that the production is maybe a tad too minimalist for such an intense song. But the hook is still massive, and the song isn’t about the production anyways: It’s 100 percent a lyrical showcase for Swift, and a way to beat her haters at their own game. 

Dissing yourself while still coming off smart is a tough tightrope to walk, as “Look What You Made Me Do” unfortunately proved. But with “Blank Space,” Taylor proved that, even if for a brief moment, she controlled the narrative.

(Also, this is Taylor’s best video. Obviously.)

#6: “Sparks Fly” (Speak Now)

A lot of the other songs in this top 10 work because of a very specific reason, whether it be the production or a clever lyrical conceit. But it’s difficult to describe what makes “Sparks Fly” fly so well. 

At first glance, it’s not that much different than other early upbeat Swift singles — it’s got the country-rock guitars, lovesick lyrics, a bit of a twang but not too much. But this is where that formula reaches perfection. It’s no wonder that after “Speak Now,” Swift tilted hard into pure pop, because she wasn’t going to top this.

The chorus is passionate and soaring, with even the percussive lyrics ( “Drop. Everything. Now.”) contributing. And this seems like a super-odd aspect of a Taylor Swift song to compliment, but “Sparks Fly” also has a fantastic guitar riff — something few of her pop contemporaries would try.

Sometimes what makes a song great is to just have every aspect go perfectly, and that’s exactly what happened with “Sparks Fly.”

#5: “Red” (Red)

The title track to Swift’s instant-classic album Red is the closest she’s come to being a full-fledged rockstar (well, that and album cut “State Of Grace,” which is an obvious U2 pastiche). It’s definitely more of a country-fried, Sheryl Crow brand of rock, but it suits Swift well. There’s even a killer guitar solo!

As a summation of a whirlwind relationship, “Red” absolutely nails the bittersweet feelings that come after a breakup. Even the best moments or aspects of her ex have a dark side, but she seems equally wistful about the worst moments. And the color-based chorus (a few years before Halsey stole the idea), complete with a new wave-y vocal echo, is simple but effective. It’s the perfect middle between Swift’s uber-pop era to come and her Nashville songwriter past.

#4: “New Romantics” (1989)

I was hesitant to include “New Romantics” on this list. Yes, it was a single, but it was also a tacked-on bonus track to 1989. But it’s too damn perfect of a pop song to leave off.

Honestly, how was this not included in the regular tracklisting of 1989? Yes, it’s her best album, so there’s not a lot of filler, but “New Romantics” would’ve still been an improvement over nearly all of the songs there. The production by pop wizards Max Martin and Shellback pops and whizzes with energy. It’s pure ‘80s heaven, with an anthemic sing-along chorus and bouncy synths and drum machines.

But naturally, Swift herself is a major factor to why “New Romantics” is such an effective pop song. Her vocal delivery here has a knowing wink, with a bit of snark. You might even call it Debbie Harry-esque. For a song where Swift is conveying the joys of non-stop partying, she certainly sells it. And I’d imagine if she released it as a regular single earlier in 1989′s cycle, it would’ve been another #1 smash.

#3: “Love Story” (Fearless)

“Love Story” deliberately misinterprets multiple literary classics to create an uber-cheesy, ridiculous fairy tale. And it’s easily the best song of her country era, and one of the best pop songs of the ‘00s, bar none.

The star-crossed lovers angle is overdone, yes, but Swift sings about this secret relationship with such passion and earnestness that it feels fresh again. When the surprise ending comes and the boyfriend proposes (wait, aren’t they both high schoolers? Maybe wait a bit on that one, guys), it’s got all the sappiness of a Hallmark special, and yet it totally works. You can tell the then-18 Swift didn’t find this cheesy in the slightest, and her bold, passionate sincerity works.

Even the fact that the song seems to not understand what The Scarlet Letter was actually about, or how Romeo and Juliet ends, is honestly more charming than anything else. “Love Story” is like a puppy — full of boundless joy and absolutely impossible to resist, despite not being all that smart.

#2: “Style” (1989)

I can’t imagine the confusion and shock that Swift’s management must have felt when she told them she wanted to record a song that sounded like the Drive soundtrack. But it was an absolutely brilliant move, and it gave us the song that will likely age better than any of Swift’s other singles.

To be fair, “Style” is much more radio-friendly than your average Chromatics single — but not by much! Swift’s vocals are less ethereal than Ruth Radelet’s, and the hooks are much more obvious. But many Chromatics songs, or songs from Drive, are already pretty catchy — Swift just needed to maximize them into a slinky-yet-explosive new wave behemoth.

The pulsating synth background and Swift’s whispery vocals make “Style” an all-time classic song for aimlessly driving around at night, yet it’s big enough to fit in with her more blunt hits. In fact, it might be the one time she actually seemed *gasp* cool. It’s too bad reputation tried so hard to recapture this dusky vibe and utterly failed, but at least we’ll always have her first attempt.

#1: “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (Red)

It took Swift many, many tries to capture that elusive first #1 hit. But when she finally reached that pinnacle in 2012 with the gleefully venomous “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” it made perfect sense. After all, it’s her best song.

Swift has written many breakup songs before, but she’s never had this much fun knocking down her ex — in this case, the famously sleazy John Mayer. And her digs are just so relentless and delivered with a perfect smirk. There’s the dig at Mayer listening to “some indie record that’s much cooler than mine,” which drips with sarcasm. She calls him out for his inability to fully commit, saying both that his breakups and makeups only “last about a day.” And of course, there’s also that wonderfully exasperated phone call, where Swift groans about her ex’s persistence, calling the situation “exhausting” and mocking him. 

The best part is that all of this is delivered in a sugary-sweet, insanely catchy campfire sing-along that wouldn’t leave anyone’s heads in the fall of 2012. That chorus is just so joyful and fun that you have expect the little bouncing ball to pop up next to the “WHEEE-EEE!”

It seems weird to say Swift’s best song is also her big sell-out moment, but some artists were just meant to be pure pop. And in Swift’s case, she didn’t sacrifice any of her sharp songwriting en route to a catchier, more fun sound, which created one of the most iconic pop songs of the ‘10s.