#taylor swift x sjm
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Castleâs Crumbling by Taylor Swift is so Aelin Galythinius (specifically in Empire of Storms) coded
#aelin galathynius#throne of glass#empire of storms#kingdom of ash#celaena sardothien#aelin ashryver galathynius#aelin of the wildfire#aelin fireheart#lysandra ennar#aedion ashryver#rowan whitethorn#manon blackbeak#dorian havilliard#elide lochan#lorcan salvaterre#castles crumbling#taylor swift x sjm
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BABE WAKE UP, A NEW FEYSAND FAVOURITE FANART JUST DROPPED đŁđŁđŁđ„đ„đ„đ„
đš by ignartcio on instagram !!!!! go check them out !!!!!!
#IM LITERALLY OBSESSED#WATCH ME MAKE LATE SCENARIOS TO THIS#MOM AND DAD FRRRRR#THEY'RE SOOOO HOT#taylor swift wrote gorgeous while thinking ab rhys#gorgeous is such a rhys song#and this feyre is giving the archer vibes#feysand#feyre archeron#rhysand#sjm#acotar#feysand fanart#feysand art#taylor swift#travis kelce#taylor swift x travis kelce
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whoâs afraid of little old me is the nesta archeron anthem
#nesta archeron#nesta x cassian#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acosf#sjm#maasverse#taylor swift#ttpd#the tortured poets department
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ACOTAR COUPLES X TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS
Bc I feel like there is much overlap in these fan bases and bc I canđ€§ I tried to include most ships to be inclusive but I fear the ones I donât like suffered (Nessians beware) ANYWAY:
Feyre X Rhysand
âšHigh Infidelity
[đ¶Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to lifeđ¶]
âšYou Are In Love
[đ¶One night he wakes, strange look on his face. Pauses then says, âyouâre my best friend,â and you knew what it was, he is in love.âđ¶]
âšInvisible String (no one is surprised)
[đ¶Time curious time cutting me open then healing me fine. Were there clues I didnât see? And isnât it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to međ¶]
âšThe Tortured Poets Department (a song about such a pretentious man canât not be dedicated to Rhys)
[đ¶Sometimes I wonder if youâre gonna screw this up with me, but you told Lucy youâd kill yourself if I ever leave, and I had said that to Jack about you so I felt seen. Everyone who knows us knows why itâs meant to be, because weâre crazyđ¶]
Feyre X Tamlin
âšLoml (goes both ways tbh)
[đ¶Talking rings and talking cradles, I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace are they second hand embarrassed that I canât get out of bed cause something counterfeits deadđ¶]
âšYouâre Losing Me
[đ¶And I wouldnât marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her, and iâm fading thinking âDo something baby, say somethingâđ¶]
âšGetaway Car
[đ¶We were flying but weâd never get far. Donât pretend itâs such a mystery think about the place where you first met međ¶]
âšExile
[đ¶We always walked a very thin line. You didnât even hear me out. You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)đ¶]
Nesta X Cassian
âšSo it goesâŠ
[đ¶Cut me to pieces, gold cage hostage to my feelings. Back against the wall, tripping when youâre gone. Cause we break down a little but when you get me alone itâs so simple. đ¶]
âšMr. Perfectly Fine
[đ¶Mr. Every single day until the end I will be by your side, but that was when I got to know Mr. change of heart. Mr. leaves me all alone, I fall apart. It takes everything in me just to get up each day but itâs wonderful to see that youâre okayđ¶]
ïżŒâšSay Donât Go
[đ¶Whyd you have to make me want you? Whyâd you have to give me nothing back? Whyâd you have to make me love you? I said âI love youâ you say nothing back đđđ đ¶]
âšSo Long, London
[đ¶ you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it, my white knuckled dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment. and my friends said it isnât right to be scared every day of a love affair. Every breath feels like the rarest air when youâre not sure if he wants to be theređ¶]
Elain X Lucien
âšCowboy Like Me
[đ¶Hustling for the good life, never thought Iâd meet you here, and it could be love. We could be the way forward and I know Iâll pay for itđ¶]
âšThe Lakes
[đ¶Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die, I donât belong and my beloved neither do you. Those Windermere peaks look like the perfect place to cry. Iâm setting off but not without my muse, not without youđ¶]
âšAfterglow
[đ¶I lived like an island, punished you with silence. Went off like sirens just crying. Whyâd I have to break what I loved so much? Itâs on your face, donât walk awayđ¶]
âš The Very First Night
[đ¶I never go alone, and I donât seem broken hearted, and my friends all say they know everything iâm going through. I drive down different roads, but they all lead back to youđ¶]
Elain X Azriel
âšGuilty as Sin? (obviously, youâre not slick Sarah)
[đ¶Crashing into him tonight, heâs a paradox. Iâm seeing visions, am I bad? or mad? or wise? What if heâs written âmineâ on my upper thigh only in my mind. One slip and falling back into the hedge maze. Oh what a way to dieđ¶]
âšIvy
[đ¶My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine but itâs been promised to another. Oh, I canât stop you putting roots in my dream land. My house of stone, your ivy grows, now iâm covered in youđ¶]
âšCardigan
[đ¶You drew stars around my scars but now iâm bleeding. Cause I knew you, stepping on the last train marked me like a bloodstain. I knew you, tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendyđ¶]
âšWildest Dreams
[đ¶I said âno one has to know what we doâ his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room. And his voice is a familiar sound. Nothing lasts forever, but this is getting good now. Heâs so tall and handsome as hell. Heâs so bad but he does it so well . and when weâve had our very last kiss, my last request it isâŠđ¶]
Gwyn X Azriel
âšSo High School (i FEEL this one)
[đ¶ Cheeks pink in the twinkling light, tell me about the first time you saw me. Iâll drink what you think and iâm high from smoking your jokes all damn night. The brink of a wrinkle in time, bittersweet sixteen suddenlyđ¶]
âš Delicate
[đ¶Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend youâre mine all the damn time. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that youâre in my head? Cause I know that itâs delicateđ¶]
âšSweet Nothing
[đ¶They say the end is coming. Everyone is up to something. I found myself running home to your sweet nothing. Outside theyâre push and shoving, youâre in the kitchen humming. All that youâve ever wanted from me was nothingđ¶]
âšAll of the Girls youâve Loved Before
[đ¶Your mother brought you up loyal and kind. Teenage love taught you thereâs good in goodbye. Every woman that you knew brought you here, I want to teach you how forever feelsđ¶]
Nesta X Eris
âšThe 1 (like, pleaseđ)
[đ¶If my wishes came true, it would have been you. In my defense I have none for never leaving well enough alone. But it would have been fun if you would have been the oneđ¶]
âšPeace
[đ¶I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near. And itâs just around the corner darling, cause it lives in me. No, I could never give you peace. But iâm a fire, and iâll keep your brittle heart warm, if your cascade ocean wave blues comeđ¶]
âšDancing with Our Hands Tied
[đ¶You said there was nothing in the world that could stop us, I had a bad feeling. I knew there was no one in the world who could take it, I had a bad feeling. But we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied. Dancing like it was the first timeđ¶]
âšEnchanted
[đ¶Your eyes whispered have we met. Across the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me. The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy, and it was enchanting to meet youđ¶]
Nesta X Azriel (let me have thisđ)
âšSlut!
[đ¶Everyone wants him that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time, and I break down and heâs pulling me in. In a world of boys heâs a gentlemanđ¶]
âšGorgeous
[đ¶You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong. And I got a boyfriend, heâs older than us. Heâs in the club doing I donât know what. Youâre so cool, it makes me hate you so muchđ¶]
âšSeven
[đ¶Ive been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad and that must be why. I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you wonât have to cryđ¶]
âšBegin Again
[đ¶You pull my chair out and help me in. You donât know how nice that is, but I do. And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think itâs strange you think iâm funny cause he never didđ¶]
Kallias and Viviane (i love themđ€§)
âšMaryâs Song
[đ¶I was seven and you were nine. I looked at you like the stars that shines in the sky, the pretty lights. And our daddies used to joke about the two of us, growing up and falling in love. and our mamas smiled and rolled their eyesđ¶]
âšTimeless
[đ¶And somehow I know that you and I would have found each other, in another life you still would have turned my head. Even if weâd met on a crowded street in 1944 and you were headed off to fight in the war, you still would have been mine we would have been timelessđ¶]
âšThe Alchemy
[đ¶Cheers chanting cause they said there was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league. whereâs the trophy? He just comes running over to međ¶]
âšLover
[đ¶Theres a dazzling haze a mysterious way about you dear. Have I know you twenty seconds or twenty years? Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and everđ¶]
#a court of thorns and roses#acotar#taylor swift#feysand#elucien#elriel#gwynriel#anti nessian#have to be real with that one#kallias x viviane#nezriel#neris#acotar ships#this is just for fun yâall#but we do know SJM is a swiftie soooo
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domingo - 01. 10. 2023
Lovable mezzo-sopranos đ©”đ”
The fact that SJM has always loved Taylor Swift - and now her son is obsessed with her too (thatâs so freaking cute đ€đ„čâšmini swiftie)
"Taran is obsessed with Taylor Swift. Aren't we all?" "I've always loved her. I think she's an incredible creator and like businesswoman and I have so much respect for her." âBut now that Taran is obsessed with her- like, we've only listened to her music in the car. That's it, like all summer long."
I also love TS and I LOVE that SJM made Gwyn a mezzo-soprano too so that I can imagine Gwyn singing every time I listen to a Taylor Swift song đ„čđ©”
my favorite mezzo-sopranos đ„°đ
acosf - chapter 52
Gwynâs playlist (mezzo-soprano artists - mostly TS đ)
#gwyn berdara#sarah j maas#gwynriel#gwyneth berdara#gwyn playlist#mezzo-sopranos#taylor swift#mezzo soprano#gwyn x taylor swift#sjm#sjm interview#acotar 5#acosf
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One phrase from a Taylor Swift song that captures each Acotar couple perfectly for me
Feysand
And you got your share of secrets And I'm tired of being last to know And now you're asking me to listen Cause it's worked each time before
You're not sorry
Nessian
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark
hoax
Elucien
You think I either moved on or hate you 'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply I bet It never ever occurred to you That I can't say "Hello" to you And risk another goodbye
I almost do
Gwynriel
I'm still trying everything to get you laughing [at me] I'm still a believer but I don't know why I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try
Mirrorball
Feylin
You turned into your worst fears And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years
My tears riochet
Jassa
And all we are is skin and bone Trained to get along Forever going with the flow But you're friction
Treacherous
#EDIT almost forgot jassa#And where all of course sad songs#cause all of the couples right now are just tragedies#only hope is elucien and gwynriel#but my bar is so f*cking low#all azriel and lucien got to be is not abusive and I would be happy#anti sjm#acotar critical#sjm critical#acotar#feylin#anti feysand#anti nessian#elucien#gwynriel#pro elucien#pro gwynriel#jassa#jurian x vassa#taylor swift
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Elucien as Taylor Swift songs:
A Perfectly Good Heart
Maryâs Song
Today was a Fairytale
Donât You
Mine
Timeless
Stay Stay Stay
Come Back Be Here
How You Get The Girl
I Know Places
End Game
King of my Heart
Lover
Paper Rings
Mirrorball
Hoax
âTis the Damn Season
Right Where You Left Me
Sweet Nothing
Paris
The Prophecy
The Bolter
#they were the hardest to pick for songs#for context I made three other posts for nessian feysand and Gwynriel and didnât want to use those same songs#elucien#taylorâs version#lover taylor swift#acotar#sarah j maas#sjm#elain archeron#lucien vanserra#elain x lucien#ttpd#the tortured poets department#speak now#fearless#1989 tv#reputation#folklore#Folkmore#evermore#the Bolter#a court thorns and roses
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You're Losing Me - Feyre x Tamlin (SPOILERS)
I made this for Tiktok but the sound kept getting removed...
#you're losing me#feyre x tamlin#feylin#acotar#acomaf#bookish#booklr#sjm#feyre archeron#tamlin#acotar edit#taylor swift#til dawn edition#swifties
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I just picture Rhys at the beginning of ACOMAF singing this in the townhouse in Velaris while Feyreâs in the Spring Court.
#taylor swift#a court of thorns and roses#sarah j maas#sjm books#taylors version#rhys acotar#rhysand#feyre archeron#feyre darling#feyre x rhysand#feyreandrhysand#feyre acotar#feyre cursebreaker#high lady feyre#spring court#night court#velaris#tamlin#lucien acotar
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Every song from TTPD fits Celestaxia (or Celestina and/or Hypaxia as individuals) SO WELL, like did Taylor read Crescent City??
"The who's who of who's that is poised for the attack"
"The scandal was contained, the bullet had just grazed" "You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me"
AND THAT'S JUST WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME??
We have the WHOLE GODDAMN CHORUS OF I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART.
THE ENTIRETY OF CASSANDRA (If you read into it a bit).
The chorus of But Daddy I Love Him (*her*) is so fucking Celestina coded. I mean, are you kidding me, "Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned" um hello PAGE 645 ANYONE. And "I'm having his baby, no I'm not but you should see your faces". LIKE. WHAT THE HEL IS ALL THIS FANFIC INSPO TAYLOR.
Anyways, excuse me while I fanboy, I will be going on more rants in the future on the parallels between Taylor Swift songs and Celestaxia like it or not. But TTPD in particular is so them.
#crescent city#celestina#celestina crescent city#hypaxia enador#celestaxia#hypaxia x celestina#sjm#sjmaas#taylor swift#ttpd
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This Is Me Trying
Cassian x Nesta
summary:Â It's been a few months since Nesta and Cassian have made things official, but things have only gotten worse for Nesta.
warnings: ANGST! slight inner circle slander, no happy ending, not super pro-Nessian
word count: 2.8k
a/n: this fic is based on 'This Is Me Trying' by Taylor Swift, also spot the Grey's Anatomy quote hehe. This fic is basically me working out my own relationship issues haha, so it was pretty emotional to write because I'm basically Nesta in this situation and it's rough. But I also truly think this is a more realistic version of Nessian than the one sjm tried to shove down out throats in ACOSF.
DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE
â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§â§
Nesta sighed as Cassianâs arm squeezed around her shoulders, squishing her farther into him than humanly possible. He belted out a laugh at whatever Mor had said, a deafening noise next to Nestaâs ear. His touch felt like acid on her skin, and all she wanted to do was get away from it.
Nesta had been trying her hardest to communicate her feelings with Cassian, she truly had. But it was hard â everything she said seemed to leave his brain the second he was around the Inner Circle, like they were now. Nesta was at one end of the couch with Cassian to her right, and Elain on Cassianâs left. Feyre was sitting on an armchair across from them with Nyx in her arms, in Rhysâs lap, while Mor and Amren were perched on cushions by the fireplace. Azriel was sitting a bit behind Rhys and Feyre on a stool, quietly observing the scene. A couple hours ago, Nesta had pulled Cassian aside and explained that she was having an overwhelming day, and requested he not touch her for the night. She couldnât explain why she felt that way â she tried, and nothing came out. All she wanted was some physical space from Cassianâs presence. The male had sworn he understood, and said he would give her space.
That had lasted all of 20 minutes into the evening before he slung his arm over her shoulders and pulled her body into his. He had failed to notice how Nesta froze, rather than relaxing into his touch as usual. She knew it wasnât malicious, that he wasnât deliberately ignoring her request. He had just simply⊠forgot.Â
And this wasnât the first time she felt suffocated and trapped by Cassian. Guilt plagued her, knowing he truly didnât mean to do it, he was just trying to show his affection. For a while, Nesta thought that the Cauldron had mated them under the premise of opposites attract. Cassian was extroverted and wore his heart on his sleeve, easily making friends and jumping into any conversation or group. Nesta was an introvert, preferring to mask everything she felt, both good and bad. She did not have that confident ease about her, nor did she feel inclined to befriend everyone she met or chat their ear off. She was perfectly content to be more like Azriel, sitting and observing rather than participating.Â
But maybe there was such a thing as people being too opposite for it to work out.
Nesta had felt like she was drowning in the Cauldron all over again, slowly being backed into a corner and suffocating under Cassianâs constant presence and need for her attention. Now that they were officially together, he was everywhere. Cassian had lightened his duties in Illyria to spend more time with Nesta, which only made it worse. At first she had found it sweet, but as the weeks passed it became more irritating.
Cassian was supposed to love her. Surely, someone who loved her would be able to understand her enough to know that this wasnât what she wanted? He was always trying to find different things to do with Nesta, and it was beginning to get overwhelming. It hurt her heart to see how enthusiastic he was, how badly he wanted to make her happy. She was disgusted with herself for not feeling the same, for wanting to fight and pull away.
Her youngest sisterâs voice brought her attention back. âDo you have anything to add, Nesta?â
Nesta blinked, not having heard a word of what was said. âTo what?â
Feyre sighed. âWe were just talking about building another home for me, Rhys, and Nyx in the mountains, since you and Cassian basically live at the House of Wind now. What do you think?â
The room was tense, everyone frozen as they awaited Nestaâs reply. If she was in a better mood, she would have chuckled inwardly. No matter what she did, no matter how many times she proved herself to them, the Inner Circle would always see her as a rabid monster waiting for a chance to lash out. Perhaps if it were another day sheâd entertain them, just to show that she hadnât lost her bite. But she had no energy today. âSounds like a great idea.â She said simply.
Everyone visibly relaxed, relieved that Nesta hadnât made a snide comment about how many houses Feyre and Rhys had, even though she wanted to. Cassian patted her arm proudly, as if to say look how much more docile and well-mannered she is now, thanks to me. Realistically, Nesta knew that wasnât actually what he was thinking, but it sure felt like it. Only Feyre gave her a strange look, as if she could sense something wrong.Â
âSo, Nesta,â Rhys said smoothly. âCassian tells me youâve gotten pretty good in the sparring ring.â
Nestaâs mouth was dry, the hot air from the room closing in on her. âIâve improved, yes.â She managed a reply, earning another squeeze from Cassian that tightened her throat even more.
She hadnât wanted to be touched at all tonight, yet he was doing it anyway without even thinking.
âItâs been a while since Iâve practiced, you could probably give me a run for my money.â The High Lord chuckled, taking a sip of wine.
Again, everyone anxiously waited for Nesta to challenge him, to cause a scene and ruin the evening for the group. It made her feel physically sick, how she felt like she was drowning all over again and not only had Cassian not noticed, but the Inner Circle seemed to like her better this way â a shell of the female she was before, a quieter version.
âI think Rhys is challenging you, sweetheart.â Cassian chuckled. âGo on, go kick his sorry ass.â
âIâll pass, thanks.â Nesta said quietly, but it was too late. Mor and Amren had stood up, moving over to where Azriel sat in the back to clear the space on the large rug by the fireplace. Feyre had climbed off Rhysâs lap, too, taking Nyx with her and handing her to Elain as she joined everyone over by Azriel.Â
Rhys down the rest of his wine and stood up, pushing his chair back and wiping invisible dust off his sleeves. âCome on, Nesta. Show me what you got.â
The room began to close in on Nesta even more, the air stifling and catching in her throat like sandpaper.
âItâs fine, really.â Nesta insisted, but was interrupted by Cassian gently shoving her to her feet.
âMy girl is gonna make you eat dirt, brother.â Cassian said as he pushed Nesta up onto her unsteady feet.
More cheers from the females by Azriel began to sound up, all urging Nesta to show off her skills. It should have felt endearing, and she should have felt more excited at the opportunity to punch her annoying brother-in-law in his face. But all she could feel was suffocation, like she was back in front of her motherâs cruel gaze being forced to perform for people that did not care for her. An object, a plaything to be used to entertain others then put back in its box when they were done with her.
âNo.â Nestaâs voice was barely above a whisper, unheard amongst the loud cheers.
âNesta, Nesta, Nesta!â Feyre and Elain chanted from the background, egging her on. But she was frozen, arms slack at her sides.
âCome on, Nes!â Cassian barked playfully. âYouâre acting like I havenât taught you anything. Come on, do it for meââ
âI said NO.â Nesta snapped, her sharp voice silencing the room as she whirled around to face Cassian. He stared at her, eyes wide with shock.
âItâs all in good fun,â He said, brows furrowed in confusion. âHe wonât actually hurt you. Besides, when else are you going to get the chance toââ
Nesta cut him off, her anger bubbling over the surface like a volcano that had waited centuries to finally erupt. âWhat part of the word ânoâ suddenly means âconvince meâ?â She demanded.
Nobody said a word. Disappointment was written all over Cassianâs face. Amren snorted in the background, her whisper pointedly loud as she said, âI guess some people will never change, even after being spat out by the Cauldron.â
Tears burned in Nestaâs eyes, but she refused to let them see. Wordlessly, she stormed past everyone, making her way to the door of the river house. She hadnât even made three steps out into the street before it opened up again behind her, heavy footsteps crunching in the snow.
âWhat the fuck, Nesta?â Cassian demanded, grabbing her arm and pulling her back.Â
âLet go of me.â She spat, trying to rip her arm from his grip. But he only held on tighter.
âWe were having fun, whatâs wrong with you?â
âCassian, let go of my arm right fucking NOW.â
The male glared at her, but obliged. Nesta yanked her arm back to her side, rubbing the now sore area. Annoyance seeped from the male as he ran a hand through his hair. âThe night was going well,â He grumbled. âIt was all going well until you made a scene. For once in your life, Nesta, canât you just try?â
âThis IS me trying!â Nesta shouted, his words stabbing her harder than any knife could. After everything she had opened up to Cassian about, how could he not see that she was trying her best? That she was trying to make him happy by going along with his obscure date ideas, putting on a happy face being dragged to dinner with the Inner Circle even though they basically locked her up after the war?Â
âWell youâre not trying hard enough!â Cassianâs words hit her like a truck. The tears she had been fighting to keep back began to stream down her cheeks like icicles in the frozen wind. âFuck, Iâve tried to hard to convince my family to give you a chance after how you treated them. Iâve gone out out of my way to make you happy, and this is what you fucking do? We all try so hard for you, and you wonât try at all.â
Nesta couldnât stop herself from flinching at his words. Her brain screamed at her to yell back at Cassian, to bring out those claws she spent the last few months trying to rid herself of. But she couldnât. She was exhausted, tired of pretending to be as happy as Cassian was. It sucked the life out of her, chipping at her away piece by piece until she felt empty inside. Her old self would be ashamed of how submissive she had become.
Cassian sighed, rubbing his face, and taking a step towards Nesta. He held his hands out to hold her. âNesta, Iâm so sorryââ
He stopped speaking when Nesta took a step back, shying from his touch. His hazel eyes were filled with hurt and confusion, and she sighed. âCassian,â She said slowly. âDid you not remember how I asked you not to touch me tonight?âÂ
The Illyrianâs brow furrowed in confusion, then softened as the realization dawned on him. âIs that what this is about?â
Nesta sighed, another tear rolling down her cheek. âNot just thatââ
He interrupted her. âI completely forgot, Nes Iâm so sorry. Why didnât you just tell me to fuck off?â
âBecause I shouldnât have to. You should have remembered to respect my basic wishes. You donât listen to me, Cassian. You hear me, but you donât listen.â
Cassian sat down on the steps by the door, wings drooping in sadness. But she felt no pity for him, only anger. He was the one who didnât listen to her when she asked not to be touched, who ignored her when she protested sparring with Rhys, but he was somehow the victim too? It made her blood sing with anger. âI tell you not to touch me because Iâm having a bad day, and you pull me into your lap like a dog,â She continued icily. âI tell you I donât want to do something, and instead of respecting that, you try to force me to do it for everyoneâs entertainment. You know damn well that Rhys has never liked me, and how he meant it when he threatened to kill me a few months ago. And yet you pushed me to try and fight him anyways.â
Cassian stared at the frozen ground. Nesta could practically feel his confusion, a raging sea of emotions written all over his face. The wind blew his hair into his face, a sight that Nesta would have found beautiful once. But now it only filled her with sadness. She had bent herself backwards trying to become âworthyâ of Cassian in his and his familyâs eyes, cursing herself alone at night and thinking she was the problem. Cassian was an objectively good male â loving, affectionate, good in the bedroom. Any female would be lucky to have him, so why wasnât Nesta happy?
The answer had been deep down inside her, trying to claw its way to the surface, begging for Nesta to acknowledge it. And then it washed over her one day â everyone was quick to assume that she was the one at fault in the relationship, not Cassian. And somewhere along the way, she had convinced herself of that too, pushing down her gut feelings for the sake of trying to make it work with the general. She knew that her words shot to kill when she was mad, and she often couldnât stop them no matter how much regret they filled her with. But when Cassian had come along, she learned to hold her tongue, to push back those claws inside her. The issue was that in the process of doing so, Nesta had begun holding her tongue more often than needed, bearing the facade of a female submitting to her mate just like everyone wanted.Â
Nesta had finally been de-clawed, Cassian wearing her talons around his neck like a trophy. She felt like an open wound at every party, her former self slowly oozing out of the gaps in flesh Cassian had clawed from her. And the worst part was, everyone liked her better this way. But she felt the opposite of better, she felt suffocated and empty.
âI understand you are trying to push me out of my comfort zone,â Nesta continued through tears, swallowing the thick lump in her throat. âAnd I appreciate it because sometimes that is needed. But youâve pushed too hard, Cassian.â
âI only wanted what was best for you.â Cassian said dully.
She scoffed. âAnd how would you know whatâs best for me when you never asked me? What, you just assume because weâre together you have some sort of decision-making capacity over me? That you have any idea whatâs going through my head, what Iâm feeling, or even what I want?â
Cassian stood up, taking a step towards Nesta. She stepped back again, wanting to keep the space between them and not caring about the hurt that flashed across Cassianâs face. âI know you, Nes.â He said softly. âAnd I love you.â
âNo, you donât.â The wet spots on her cheeks began to freeze over in the cold wind. âYou love the idea of me. You love being with me, having me by your side. But you donât truly know me, Cassian. And you donât truly love me. You just think you do.â
The hurt swimming in Cassianâs eyes churned into anger. âYouâre kidding, right? So you mean the past five months weâve spent together have been nothing? That I truly didnât get to know you at all in that time?â
âYouâre 500 years older than me, Cassian. Five months is a blink of an eye in your lifetime. So no, you didnât truly get to know me in that time.â
Cassian scoffed bitterly, shaking his head. But Nesta continued. âThe only reason you think you got to know me was because others forced us into each otherâs proximity. I did not come to spend time with you on my own free will. And I was isolated from everyone and everything, except for you. In that time, Cassian you⊠you took something from me. You took little pieces of me - little pieces over time, so small I didn't even notice. You wanted me to be something I wasn't, and I made myself into what you wanted. And I let you, because I thought I could make you happy that way. But it will never happen again. I am done changing who I am to make myself âworthyâ of you.â
Nesta turned around, not waiting to hear his response as she strode down the snow covered cobblestone. There was no towering presence following after her, much to her relief. She did not go back to the River House, or in the direction of the House of Wind. Truthfully, Nesta had no clue where she was going, only that she was done letting herself fall apart to please people who would never love her for who she truly is.
#nessian#nesta x cassian#nessian fic#nesta archeron fic#nessian angst#acosf#acotar#nesta archeron#cassian#rhysand#feyre archeron#azriel#sjm
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SJM ships/relationships x Taylor Swift songs
itâs been a while since Iâve actually posted something and not reblogged it, so Iâm using this idea Iâve seen around.
starting with ACOTAR
Feysand: Enchanted from Speak Now. Feylin: I Knew you were Trouble Nessian: You Belong With Me (but Cassian is singing)
Neris: Look What You Made Me Do
Azris: Dancing with our Hands Tied
Elriel: Happiness
Gwynriel: The 1
Ilucien đ€ą: Bad Blood
Elucien: Out of the Woods
(I think thatâs all of them..)
ToG
Samleana: Last Kiss
Corian: Cowboy Like Me (just with a happy platonic ending)
Chaleana: Picture to Burn
Rowaelin: End Game
Sorcain: Illicit Affairs
Manorian: The Great War
Lysaedion: Call it What You Want
Elorcan: Cardigan
Chaorene: New Yearâs Day
Nestaq: Love Story
(my brain is mush at this point)
not going to do Crescent City because Iâm a bit salty with that series rn
#acotar#sjmaas#azriel#eris vanserra#lucien vanserra#elain acotar#elain archeron#feyre archeron#nesta archeron#cassian#rhys acotar#gwyneth berdara#gwynriel#azris#feysand#feylin#Elucien#elriel#ianthe#neris#throne of glass#chaol westfall#yrene towers#dorian havilliard#celeana sardothien#aelin ashryver galathynius#rowan whitethorn#elide lochan#lord lorcan lochan#lorcan salvaterre
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Iâm so excited for your taylor swift x sjm characters đđđđđđ especially the tog ones!!
Thank you!! đđ
Honestly same , there is not enough tog on this app!
I love comments like this, thank you sm!!âșïžâșïž
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Thank you for the tag @shadowdaddies đ
top three ships: for SJM it has to be Feysand and Nessian, I'm also a big fan of the Azris crack!ship. My ultimate OG ship is Rose x Dimitri from Vampire Academy - that really takes me back.
fave colour: currently vibing hard with lilac and black
last song: I've had 1989 T.V. on repeat since it came out
last book: currently reading The Assasin's Blade - whose idea was it to read the prequel third?? I'm dying but it is also really cute! (Side note I totally saw that last reveal coming...)
last movie: The Hunger Games series after finishing Songbirds & Snakes
currently watching: nothing currently, too busy reading fics đ
current obsession: SJM books, Taylor Swift, my dog as always (I forgot to edit this line but it's the truth so I'll leave it LMAO)
currently working on: Part 5 of my Azriel x OC and a few cute drabbles I thought up today.
country you want to visit: pretty much all of them but I'll likely visit England, France, and The Netherlands on my next trip.
the get to know me tag!
top three ships: steve rogers/bucky barnes from marvel, also magnus bane/alec lightwood and ty blackthorn/kit herondale from the shadowhunter chronicles <3
fave colour: pink (not lavender i know! but it's up there!)
last song: body and mind by girl in red
last book: ... away games by misha horne đ (re-read)
last movie: the truman show
currently watching: i started watching BBC sherlock with my friends and i'm really enjoying it! other than that i've been enjoying the return of danandphilgames and also trying to force my bae @sanguineterrain to watch after everything with me (pspsps bae you love hardin scott sooo bad)
current obsession: stucky. as it has been for the past *checks watch* 2 1/2 years, wow
currently working on: my shrinkyclinks bang fic! (and my dissertation đ)
country you want to visit: new zealand đłđż also japan one day! đŻđ”
low pressure tags: @sanguineterrain @cloudbells @plincess-cho @heckalecki @moodymelanist and anyone else who wants to join!
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Miss Swift did not write
Sometimes I wonder when you sleep / Are you ever dreaming of me? / Sometimes when I look into your eyes / I pretend you're mine, all the damn time
And
I'm yours to keep / And I'm yours to lose / You know I'm not a bad girl, but I / Do bad things with you
And
You've ruined my life by not being mine
And
And you should think about the consequence / Of you touching my hand in a darkened room
And
And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for / King of my heart, body and soul / And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go
And
Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep
And
Picture of your face in an invisible locket / You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it / I had a bad feeling / And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis / People started talking, putting us through our paces / I knew there was no one in the world who could take it
And
I, I loved you in spite of / Deep fears that the world would divide us
And
Our secret moments in a crowded room / They got no idea about me and you / There is an indentation in the shape of you / Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo / All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation / My hands are shaking from holding back from you
And
Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me / Flashback to my mistakes / My rebounds, my earthquakes / Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me
For it to not be about Elriel
#elriel#elain x azriel#pro elriel#elain archeron#azriel#reputation is about elriel change my mind#you canât#also I could make another post about reputation elain#Taylor Swift#Taylor Swift is SJM?
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Afterglow is really Nessianâs song HUH
I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue, put you in jail for something youâ
didnâtâ
do - Nesta hated all things Fae after the Cauldron
I pinned yourâ
hands behind your back, oh, thought Iâ
had reason to attack, but no - Cassian rly had to come at her every time she BREATHED.
hey, it's all me, in my head, I'm the one who burned us down - silver flames and nightmares say heyyy
just don't go, meet me in the afterglow - something about this line screams âIâll find you in the next lifeâ
I lived like an island, punished you with silence - literally she punished him with silence. also by fucâ nvm.
tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine - itâs giving mating bond <3
tell me that it's not my fault, tell me that I'm all you want, even when I break your heart - we all know Nesta is shit at hiding how much she wants him EVEN when sheâs mad as hell
I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go, meet me in the afterglow - one more time for good measure: I WILL FIND YOU IN THE NEXT WORLD, IN THE NEXT LIFE !!!!! AND WE WILL HAVE THAT TIME !!!!!
thanks for listening to my ACOTAR x Taylor rants
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