#taylor let someone else take the sky off your shoulders

[chaoticrushu]

skitter from worm hours

This is a day late, sorry, post limit sucks

Yes, always, I have issues.

[andvys]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 29

Warnings: major angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of an ED. get your tissues out, brace yourself for some pain. I cried and so will you. I'm so sorry for this.

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Steve shows up at your doorsteps and you take care of him, the way you always did.

Word count: 10.5k+

A/N: shoutout to @hellfire--cult for helping me with this, I couldn't do this without you Roe, I would've given up, this was so hard for me to write. I need therapy now. Also thank you to my sweet angel bff @taintedcigs for being there for me while I was losing it, you're both real ones

To make this even sadder, listen to the 1, the last time, betty, the outro of all too well by Taylor Swift. Oh and Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers. Thank me later.

series masterlist

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It’s still pouring, the rain is still rolling down your closed windows and the lightning continues to crash through the sky. You can’t fall asleep. You’ve been trying to since you came home, but you can’t. You thought a hot shower would help make you tired, but it didn’t. Now you’re laying in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

You are too giddy to fall asleep. Your heart is still racing. Your skin still feels on fire. You can’t even fight the smile off your face. You feel his hands on your body, his lips on your skin, him. You regret not letting him come home with you. Your bed has never felt emptier. You turn to look at the telephone on your nightstand, contemplating giving him a call but you decide against it when you take a look at the clock, it’s 3am. He must be sleeping already. 

Your eyes fall on the picture that wiped the smile off your face when you walked into your room earlier. A sigh falls from your lips. You need to talk to him. You need to talk to Steve. 

This night has changed everything. 

Your feelings have changed. They have evolved into something even bigger. You have been aware of your feelings for Eddie for a while now, but you never let them out completely. You were too afraid, too scared to get rejected, too scared to lose him because you once again, couldn’t stop yourself from falling for your best friend. 

Your best friend who wants you just as much as you want him. 

Your stomach flutters and a smile tugs at your lips – your lips that are still tingling from the feeling of all the kisses. You touch them, closing your eyes as you picture him, the way he held you, the way he said your name, the way he couldn’t get enough of you, the way he was so proud to call himself yours. He’s been dreaming about this, he’s been dreaming about you for months.

You never thought that you could feel this way again. You never thought that you could smile again at the thought of someone else. You never thought that you would love again. 

Not after him. 

Steve had shattered your heart in a million pieces. He stripped you of your powers. He took everything away from you. He made you doubt yourself and everyone around you. You suffered for weeks and months, not knowing how to keep going, not knowing how to get out of bed every morning. You stopped eating. You stopped reading. You lost your joy in the things you used to love doing. You felt so lost and hopeless but you forced yourself to keep going. It felt like learning how to walk again. 

But you weren’t alone, you had the people who cared for you. 

But most importantly, you had him. Eddie was there. Eddie was there for you, every step of the way. He never left, not even on your worst days. He was there, he was always there and he stayed. 

Your heart skips a beat and your chest fills with warmth when you think of all the times he cheered you up and gave you a shoulder to cry on. When he took care of you despite you not asking him to. He stopped by the coffee shop every morning to get you a coffee and some breakfast, sometimes he came late to school because of it but he didn’t care. He’d take you out to the diner, knowing that you haven’t been eating, he brought you your favorite snacks for movie nights. He knew you were struggling to eat and he did everything to help you without pressuring you to talk about something that he knew would make you uncomfortable. 

He gave you the reassurance that you needed.

He took care of you in ways no one else ever did. 

And he never asked for anything back either.

He just did it because he wanted to, because he cares about you, because you mean something to him, because you always meant something to him, because you were always something more than a friend to him and he always wanted what’s best for you. All while watching you pine after a guy who broke your heart. He even gave you hope that maybe, you and Steve could find your way back to each other someday – all just because he wanted you to be happy. 

You don’t know what comes over you, but tears well up in your eyes. 

Eddie always just wanted you to be happy. 

You sit up, no longer wanting to wait for the next day to come, you need to see him now. 

You throw the cover off your body, your bare feet hit the soft carpet. Your hair is still a little wet from the shower you took but you couldn’t care less. You turn on the light on your nightstand before you rush over to your closet and pick out a sweater, not bothering to change into jeans or a skirt, you leave your plaid pajama pants on and throw the black sweater over your head. 

Your heart is pounding in excitement when you think about how he kissed you before you left, how he didn’t want to leave, how he wanted more and more. You can’t wait to do it again. You can’t wait to pull him into a kiss, to hug him, to tell him what you should’ve told him a long time ago. 

You take a look in the mirror, smoothing out your hair a little, you put perfume on your skin before you turn around and leave your room, slowly creeping down the stairs, not wanting to wake your mom. You leave the light off as you slip into your Vans, you grab your car keys and you open the door, about to step into night but the smile that was lingering on your face fades away so quickly when you find Steve on your doorsteps. 

Steve who was just about to ring the doorbell. 

Steve who is soaked from the rain, despite driving here. You can see his BMW in your driveway. How long has he been standing out in the rain? 

It takes you a moment to realize the state he is in. 

His face is not only soaked from the rain, it’s also soaked with tears. His eyes are red and glassy. His bottom lip is trembling. His body is shaking and you don’t know whether it’s from the tears or the cold rain. He is barely standing and as you take a step closer, you can smell the whiskey in his breath. 

Your heart drops to your stomach when you realize that he drove here drunk. 

“Steve?” You whisper as though in disbelief. 

What is he doing here at 3am? Why is he crying? 

Drops of water roll down his face, his hazel eyes are filled with pain as tears continue to fall from them. 

He says your name with a pained voice, shakily and sadly. 

“I-I needed to see you.”

Your heart breaks at the trembling in his voice. 

You furrow your brows, looking him up and down in concern. 

What happened to him?

“Dolly, I’m so– I’m so sorry,” he slurs as a sob falls from his lips. He loses his balance and stumbles forward, almost crashing to the ground, but you catch him, wrapping your arms around his waist and holding him up as best as you can. He instantly latches onto you, pulling you against him and holding you tightly. 

You blink in confusion, your heart starts pounding faster. 

He is crying, he is still crying, holding you tighter than before as he buries his face in your neck. You let him. Despite the confusion that is rushing through you, you let him hold you like this for a moment, only letting go to close the front door and taking the keys from his hands, before you wrap your arms around him again. The rain is soaking through your clothes, his tears are falling onto you, he is holding you so tightly, like he’s afraid to let you go. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper as you rub his back, not knowing what else to do. 

Did he get into a fight with his dad again? 

“I got you, Steve.”

Your words seem to make it even worse though, his body starts shaking even more as soft sobs fall from his lips. He grabs the material of your sweater so tightly, mumbling incoherent words into your neck. 

You feel so helpless, not knowing what to do or what to say, so you just hold him. 

This happened before, him showing up at your house in the middle of the night, drunk out of his mind with tears streaming down his face, he collapsed into your arms the moment you opened the door, rambling and slurring out words. You later on found out that he had gotten into a fight with his dad about his grades and his future. 

But that wasn’t all, you just don’t know the rest of the story, Steve never told you about the things his dad had said to him – how you would leave if he didn’t get his shit together, how you would go off to college by yourself and learn how to live without him, how he would stay back in Hawkins while you would live your life somewhere else without him. 

He is sobbing quietly, keeping his face buried in your neck, melting further into your arms. 

“Steve,” you whisper as you rub your hand up and down his spine. You longingly look at the keys you’re still holding, a soft sigh falling from your lips. You won’t see him tonight. “Come on.” 

“N-No,” he mumbles, thinking you want him to leave. 

“Let’s go upstairs, Steve.” 

You let go of him and grab his arms softly, trying to move back. 

He sniffles as he loosens his grip on you, leaning back, he looks at you through his glassy eyes. He takes in the sight of your face, taking a moment to look at you. 

You don’t know what’s going on in his troubled mind but his eyes tell you that he is suffering, and looking at you, makes him cry even harder. Though this time, he presses his lips together, trying not to sob. 

Your own eyes fill with sadness the longer you look at him. You move your palm down his arm, taking his hand, you hold it tightly as you lead him towards the stairs. You drop both yours and his keys on the counter, taking another sad look at them before you turn to Steve, making sure that he doesn’t stumble again. He is taking slow but shaky steps, holding your hand tighter than before. 

You look up, hoping that you didn’t wake your mom. 

You step into your room and you close the door after he walks in, noticing that you forgot to turn off the light earlier. 

His sniffles quiet down and you think the worst is over, that he calmed down after letting his tears fall, the tears that he probably kept in for way too long. Steve rarely ever cries or breaks down, he hates it, he hates being vulnerable. So, he keeps it in and he lets all his emotions pile up until there’s no space left. 

A look around your room, a glance at a picture of you and him, and the closed window is enough to make him cry again. He lets go of you and hides his face behind his hands. 

You feel so lost and don’t know what to do. Not even the worst fight with his dad resulted in this. Your own eyes well up with tears, your heart breaks at the sound of his cries. He once again, collapses into your arms the moment you take a step towards him, this time you lose your balance and your knees buckle causing you both to fall. You drop to your knees as he does too, still holding onto you, tighter than before if that is even possible. He wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face in your chest this time. 

“Steve,” you whisper shakily, on the verge of breaking down yourself when he clings to you like he never did before. You know it must be bad. 

He feels your hand running down his back, cupping the back of his head, trying to calm him down as you do your best to comfort him. He breathes you in, something that makes his heart shatter even more. 

“I-I ruined everything,” he sobs into your chest. “I ruined you, I broke your heart, I broke you,” he slurs. “I-I was.. I found your note, I never read it. I never said I love you, I just, I didn’t say it back, I didn’t say I love you, I didn’t– I put it away, I didn’t read it until now.” 

Oh. 

Now you understand. 

You furrow your brows and your eyes blur with tears. 

It doesn’t break your heart to find out that he never read that note, it didn’t matter anyway, he dumped you the next day. You got your answer. But your heart hurts for the girl you once were. The girl who loved him so unconditionally. The girl who cried herself to sleep after each fight. The girl who just wanted him to love her back. 

You swallow the lump in your throat and tighten your hold on him. 

“It’s okay, Steve.”

He shakes his head and he pulls back a little, looking at you with his sad eyes. 

You nod before he can protest. You let go of him to cup his cheeks, trying to wipe the tears, but they keep falling and falling. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper, trying to convince him but his hazel eyes look back at you so brokenly. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, reaching his hands up to grab your wrists. “I’m so sorry for everything I did to you, dolly.”

You shake your head, opening your mouth to speak but he cuts you off, not letting you. 

“Please forgive me,” he cries. 

“Steve..” You frown, trying to catch the tears that keep escaping his eyes. You forgave him already. You forgave him because you never wanted to lose him. The past cannot be erased, not even if you were pained or happy, so the only thing is to look forward, and you don’t want to lose him in the future. He needs to understand that but no matter what you say now, he won’t listen. 

“Dolly, you don’t understand.” As he says these words to you, he looks at you with pleading eyes. 

You shake your head, a pained expression taking over your face. 

He opens his mouth to speak when a knock on your door interrupts him. You tear your eyes away from him, looking at your door, startled. 

Your mom’s voice sounds through the hallway as she knocks on your door again, “is everything okay?” 

“Y-Yeah, hold on!” You call out to her before you turn back to him. Moving your hands down to his arms. “Come on, let’s get you up.” 

He doesn’t protest, instead he takes your hands and stands up with you.

You lead him towards your bed and push him down, placing your hands on his shoulders, you look into his eyes, “I should go talk to my mom, she’s probably worried about the noises.”

He sniffles, nodding at you. 

Before you can move away, your door opens, the light in the hallways shining into your room. You’re met with your mom’s concerned eyes, she looks at you first before her eyes find Steve’s figure sitting on your bed. Her eyes widen and she gasps as she takes in the sight of him. 

“Steve, honey, you don’t look good, are you okay?” 

That only seems to make him sadder. No sounds escape him but the tears fall even harder than before and the urge to break down yourself feels stronger than ever. 

Your mom looks just as helpless as you do, you may not talk to her about your feelings but she can read you like an open book, and right now, she can see how much you’re suffering too. 

“We’re okay, mom. I-I got this, you should go back to sleep.” 

She hesitates. Looking at you with worried eyes. 

You nod at her, pleading with your tear filled eyes. 

She sighs, face falling a little. You feel bad for shutting her out but she had enough to deal with herself in the past few years, she shouldn’t deal with your problems now too. 

She nods at you, taking another look at Steve before her eyes meet yours again, “let me know if you need anything.” 

“I will, mom.”

She closes the door, leaving you alone with him. 

You close your eyes for a moment, taking a deep and shaky breath, trying to fight the tears. 

He is still holding your hand and crying his eyes out. 

You take a look at him and suddenly feel like throwing up because of the overwhelming pressure in your chest. You can’t take this. 

He looks up at you, tears rolling down his red cheeks, he looks so heartbroken and you can’t stand to see him like this. It hurts so bad. It fills you with so much sadness but also with anger because none of this would have happened if he wouldn’t have changed his mind about you. 

“Let’s get you out of these clothes, you’re gonna get sick if you stay in these any longer.” 

You turn around, letting go of his hand, you walk to your closet and open the door, taking out the box that you’ve been meaning to give him back months ago. You take the lid off and rummage through it until you find what you’re looking for, one of his old shirts. The whole time, you’re biting back tears, not wanting to cry. It’s hard not to when you have to face him again. 

Why does he have to begin this over and over again? 

You’ve been here before. You’ve done this time and time. You forgave him already, you gave him a second chance, you were ready to move on. 

Why does he have to do this now? 

He is staring at you with a sullen look in his eyes, there is so much sadness, so much pain and heartbreak in the eyes you used to love so much. 

“Here,” you whisper, placing the shirt on your bed, beside him. “Take your shirt off, Steve.” 

He can barely see through his vision, his bottom lip is trembling, his hands are shaking, his whole body is shaking from both the coldness that is seeping through his shirt and the pain that he put himself in. 

He reaches for the hem of his shirt, clumsily. 

You sigh and step towards him, leaning down, you push his hands away gently, grabbing the wet material and pulling the shirt over his head. 

“Do you want to take a warm shower?” You ask, putting your hands on his cold arms. “You’re freezing, Steve.”

He shakes his head. 

“Okay,” you sigh and hand him the black shirt. “Here, put this one.” 

“Okay,” he whispers, watching you take his wet shirt and walking into the bathroom. His eyes follow you like the ones of a lost puppy. He no longer feels the tears running down his face, he’s been crying all night, his chest has been hurting badly from the moment he started reading old notes. The way you’re taking care of him after everything that he has done to you, makes him feel even worse.  

You walk back into the room a moment later. 

He is wiping his tears away after putting the shirt on. You can tell that he tries to hold himself together, not wanting to break into sobs again, but you know that he is struggling to with his emotions in overdrive and the alcohol in his system. 

“I’m gonna get you some water–”

“No, please don’t leave me.”

You had never heard him sound so heartbroken, so desperate and scared. 

You had never seen him look like this, so fragile and broken. 

“Please.”

He takes your hand in his. 

“I don’t… I don’t deserve you–”

You sigh, shaking your head as you sit down beside him. 

“Steve, stop! We’re friends, we’re over this okay? You need to stop doing this, we talked it all out. I forgave you–”

He shakes his head, catching you off guard when he moves towards you and cups your cheeks. 

“I wanted everything with you. I wanted you to be the one so bad. I know we were too young to think so far ahead but.. I wanted it all with you, I wanted to marry you and have kids with you but then I fucked it all up, I ruined everything. I-I don’t know what happened to me, I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I break everything.” 

Your eyes widen in shock, tears you can no longer hold back fall from your eyes and roll down your cheeks. You open your mouth but no words come out. You are too stunned to speak. 

You never knew how he truly felt about you and about your future together. You knew that he wanted to go to college with you but that was the only part about your shared future that was mentioned – aside from the promise he made to never stop loving you. 

Despite the state of shock that you’re in, you cannot help but cry for the girl that wanted it all with him. 

“I don’t deserve you, fuck. I don’t deserve you– and you don’t deserve me. You don’t deserve someone like me, you don’t deserve how I treated you, you don’t deserve how I made you feel, you don’t deserve the pain I made you go through, because you’re so good, and so perfect, and I destroyed that.. I destroyed you.” His voice is so shaky, his tears won’t stop falling, neither do yours. But he wipes them away softly. 

Your bottom lip trembles as you look at him in pain. 

“Steve..”

He searches for something in your eyes – anger, hatred, rage. But he can’t find any of it. After everything that he put you through, you still got love for him and it makes him hate himself even more.

He knew what he did to you, what he put you through. Yet, only tonight it really sank in, how much he truly hurt you. How much he hurt that one person that he would give everything for – his heart, his soul, everything. 

“I’m so sorry for everything, baby.” His voice breaks and he closes his eyes as he lets his head hang low. Only a second passes, before you pull him into your arms again. 

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper. 

It’s not okay. How could it ever be okay? 

He left a deep scar, one that you will carry for the rest of your life and there is nothing he can do to fix it. 

He wraps his arms around your body and pulls you in, closer and closer until you’re flush against him, in search of your warmth, he buries his face in your neck. He breathes you in and holds you tightly, like it’s the last time. Enjoying the feeling of your hand running up and down his spine as your other hand cups the back of his head. His lips touch your skin, he is unaware of the marks on your neck. He is unaware of who’s hands, who’s lips have touched your body tonight. 

“I’m still your dolly, Steve,” you whisper into his shoulder. 

Yes, you are still his best friend. 

Still his dolly. 

But never his girl again. 

You stare into nothing as you hold him, breathing slowly. Your lips are pressed against his shoulder, you tighten your arms around him even when his cries quiet down and his breathing slows down, you still hold him, not ready to let go just yet. 

The room becomes silent, so silent that you suddenly miss the sound of his voice. 

“Steve?” You whisper. 

His head is laying on your shoulder, his breathing slow and steady. You know that he had fallen asleep but you still whisper his name again. When you get no response, you move back slowly, careful not to wake him. You push him down softly, adjusting the pillow beneath him. 

Your eyes soften as you take in the sight of him. You scoot closer to him, bringing your hands up to his face, you wipe the fallen tears and caress his cheek. Running your fingers through his hair and pushing away the fallen strands. 

You blink, feeling the hot tears burning in your eyes. 

The joy in your heart faded the moment he crashed into your arms. Right now, it’s just hurting. 

You know why he came here tonight. 

Not for comfort. Not for a second chance. Not for forgiveness. No. He came to end things, once and for all. 

With a heavy heart, you tear your eyes away from him and push yourself up. You lean down to take his Nike’s off, you lift his legs up on the bed and grab the covers, pulling them up to his chest. You notice the wristband, the one you gave him two nights ago, he is wearing it. 

You can’t remember the last time he was here in your room, let alone in your bed. It’s odd, almost strange to see him here. 

You look out your window, noticing that the rain has stopped falling. You hear the tires of a car screeching through the night. Jimmy Davidson must be back from college, you think. The jock is the only in town who drives like a maniac – well, besides Billy Hargrove and Eddie. 

You take one last look at him before you turn around and leave your room, wanting to grab some water and advil for him. You close the door carefully and make your way downstairs. 

You notice that the lights are on in the kitchen. The smell of hot chocolate lingers in the air. Your mom is still awake. You find her sitting at the table by the window, with a magazine in front of her. A blanket around her shoulder and glasses perched on her nose.

You feel bad for waking her up, knowing that she works the morning shift this week. But just her presence alone gives you the comfort that you so desperately need, right now. 

She looks up when she feels your presence. She takes her reading glasses off and places them on the table, pushing the blanket off as she stands up, she wastes no second to make her way towards you, the same concerned look as before resting in her features. 

“Is Steve okay?” 

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat and blinking the tears away. 

“Yeah. He’s sleeping now.”

She knows that you’re not telling her everything, you never are. 

Sighing, she raises her hand towards your face, cupping your cheek as she gives you a smile, a sad one. 

“Are you okay?” 

Tears that you have just blinked away, well up in your eyes again. This time you hesitate. This time you can’t tell her that you feel okay or even good. You can’t hold your feelings back, not tonight. 

“You can talk to me. You never do and you always hold yourself back with me. I am your mother and I will listen to you, I’m here for you. So please, talk to me, sweetheart.” 

You look into her kind eyes and you suddenly feel like breaking down. You have been holding back for so long, hiding your true feelings, not letting them shine through out of fear that this would happen. 

But everything is crumbling now, all the last pieces that were holding you and Steve together had fallen apart the moment you had broken the barrier and kissed him. 

You don’t know where to start, there is so much to tell. 

So, you start with something you’ve been dying to get off your chest. 

“I love Eddie, mom.”

It feels like a relief to finally say it out loud, the words that you kept away for so long are now out in the open and.. it feels right. 

You watch for surprise to flash in her eyes but there is none. In fact, she doesn’t give you much of a reaction at all. A knowing look crosses her face, that’s all. 

“Is that why Steve was crying?”

You shake your head. 

“No. He doesn’t know,” you mumble, looking down. “I haven’t told him yet.”

“Then what happened to him?” 

You can hear the worry in her voice. You wonder if it will still be there when you tell her what he did to you. You never told her why he left. You never told her how much he hurt you. You never wanted her to think badly of him, not even after he broke your heart so carelessly. 

It feels like the world is weighing on your shoulders and the urge to throw it off feels so strong. You’ve been carrying it around for too long. 

“He came to apologize, to ask for forgiveness.” 

“Forgiveness?” She asks. “Did you two get into a fight?” 

“No, mom.” 

She tilts her head, giving you a questioning look. 

“Can we sit down?” You nudge your chin towards the table. “It’s a lot to talk about.”

She nods, a smile tugging at her lips. She wraps her arm around your shoulder and she leads you to the table. 

You sit down by the window and watch her move to the other side. She doesn’t take a seat though, instead she grabs the blanket and walks back to you, wrapping it around your shoulders and stepping away for a moment. 

Your eyes follow her in curiosity. 

She grabs your favorite mug from the cupboard and places it on the counter. 

You prop your chin on your palm and watch how she makes you a hot chocolate, the way you always loved it, with mini marshmallows on top. 

As you watch her move around in the kitchen, you realize how much you have missed this, how much you have missed your mom. This reminds you of older days, simpler days. Days where you had woken up from nightmares and sneaked into your parents room to wake your mom. She always knew how to comfort you. Instead of taking you back to bed and reading you a story, she always took you downstairs, made you hot chocolate and let you talk about whatever had troubled your young mind. 

And now you’re so much older and you don’t talk anymore. But you need to, you need to talk about it all so badly. So, you do. 

You tell her everything – from the sweetest note, to your overthinking, to all the fights she never knew about, to Nancy, to Tina’s Halloween party, to Eddie… You tell her absolutely everything. 

Tears fall as you talk about it all with a heavy heart. Relieving all the painful moments of your life and feeling the guilt of watching her eyes flash with sadness when she finally finds out the truth.

How you cried yourself to sleep. How you stopped eating and pretended to be okay in front of everyone. How heartbroken you were after he left. How unloved you felt for so long. How you have lost yourself after losing him before Eddie stepped into your life. How much Steve changed because of her. How he came back to you. How much he cared about you after all. How much he loved you after all. 

And as you finally talk, you can feel the weight getting lighter and lighter, falling off your shoulders but not completely. Not yet. But you let it all out, just like you tried with Robin but this feels different, your mom doesn’t try to lecture you, she doesn’t tell you what to do, what’s right and what’s wrong – she just listens because she knows that this is what you need. 

To talk, to cry, to feel. 

And when your tears stop falling and you calm down, she wraps her arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug. 

“You are such a brave girl. I know you had your friends with you, and Eddie especially. But you didn’t have to be alone in this. I was here. I have always been here, my sweet girl. You were never alone, you were never unloved.”

You close your eyes, ignoring the trembling in your lips and the shakiness in your hands as you hug her tightly, laying your chin on her shoulder. She rubs your back and squeezes you. 

In her arms you feel safe and comforted, you don’t need to hide, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or scared. You’re just safe and at home. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, mom,” you whisper when you realize how lost you’d truly be if you didn’t have her. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“I’ll always be here, sweetheart.” 

You sniffle, falling silent again. 

“You know.. I always knew by the way.”

“Huh?”

“That you loved Eddie.”

Shocked at her words, you pull away from the hug and stare at her with wide eyes. 

“I know how to see your emotions through your eyes, my love. I am not your mother for nothing,” she laughs while wiping away your fallen tears, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

You roll your eyes with a soft smile on your face. 

“And I also knew about Eddie’s feelings. That boy would blush every time he came to pick you up and you would come down with a new dress or skirt. I don’t know how you didn’t see his ears getting all red.” 

Your eyes grow bigger, softening after her words as you’re beaming at her.

“You think he loves me, mom?”

She giggles, staring at you as though you’ve gone crazy. 

“Someone would have to be blind and deaf to not notice that.” 

You blush at her words, though you can’t hide the excitement that crosses your face when you think about him, when you think about seeing him later. You look at each other, as though she can read your mind, you both start giggling. 

She looks at you fondly, squeezing your hand. 

“You know that I’m proud of you, right?” She smiles. “You’re so strong. You have always been a fighter.”

“No. Not always,” you shake your head. “I didn’t always fight for what I wanted.” 

“But now you do, right?” 

You nod.

“Yeah, now I do.”

Your mom looks towards the stairs. You know what’s on her mind. You saw the disappointment, the anger and the sadness in her eyes when you told her the truth about Steve. 

You know that she isn’t angry at him – she would have been had you told her the truth from the start. But a year has passed and things have changed. Steve has changed. You have changed. And despite what you have gone through, you still love him.

And that is another reason for your tears. Steve has always been a part of your life and she knows that you are afraid to lose him again. You might lose your best friend. 

“And do you still love Steve?” 

“I do..” You whisper. “That’s why it’s all so.. complicated.” 

“Is it?” She asks, giving you a small smile. “Or do you make it complicated?”

You tilt your head, raising your brows at her question. 

“You can love them both and they will both be special to you, no matter what. But you can be in love with only one person.” 

You let her words sink in, but your heart only hurts more. 

You have been here so many times already. You have told yourself that you let him go, you have convinced yourself that you did but did you ever let him go? Did you ever allow yourself to move past it? No. Because letting go of him always filled you with so much fear. 

“I don’t want to lose him.” 

The pain in your eyes is very telling. The sadness gives away who you are talking about. 

“But the love you once had for him is somewhere else now, right?” 

You’re biting back tears. And after a few minutes of silence, you nod. 

“I love Eddie, mom. I really really love Eddie.” 

She smiles at your words, taking your hand, she looks into your eyes. 

“You know what you have to do then.. right?” 

You nod, getting sadder each passing second. 

“Yes,” you whisper. “I just– I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

“You will hurt him more if you don’t talk to him. You need to give him closure. It’s the right thing to do, and it’s the only way the two of you can be happy.”

“I know,” you whisper, shakily. 

She gives you an encouraging smile, “you got this, sweetheart. It’s gonna be okay.” 

“I hope so..”

She holds your hand a little tighter, giving it a squeeze. 

“You should get some sleep. You can sleep in my bed if you don’t wanna go back there. I gotta start getting ready for work now.”

“Already?” You frown as you turn around to look at the clock. It’s 4:30 am already. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry for keeping you up. You really needed your sleep.”

She shakes her head at you, “no, it’s okay. I’m glad you finally talked to me.”

You smile at her, tilting your head to the side, “me too.”

“Take it easy, okay?” 

You nod. 

She gives your hand a pat before she gets up, ruffling your hair playfully as she moves past you, making you chuckle. 

“Hey mom?” 

She turns around before stepping out into the hallway, looking back at you. 

“Thank you.”

Her gaze softens, brows knitting together.

“Of course, sweetie,” the soft sound of your mom’s voice sounds through the kitchen. “I’m gonna go check on him.”

“Okay,” you nod. 

She gives you another smile before she turns around, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

With a sigh, you look down and reach for the now half empty mug, you pull your knees up to your chest, taking a sip of the hot chocolate as you look out the window. 

It’s still dark out, the world is still sleeping, and you enjoy the last moments of this.

You’re not ready for the morning to come. 

You’re still not ready. 

-

Steve’s head is pounding, the pain is excruciating. He can’t open his eyes, not yet. The sun that is shining into the room is too bright. A groan falls from his lips and he clutches the pillow beneath his head, squeezing his eyes shut after trying to open them. 

He hears the birds chirping outside, he must have left his window open last night. He smells the fresh air, it instantly calms the sickening feeling in his chest a little. He sinks into the pillows and breathes in. 

The sweet and floral scent is so pleasant, it smells like you. He takes another deep breath, he smells your perfume, your shampoo, your vanilla body wash. His heart flutters and he can’t help but melt into the warmth of the bed and the scents that linger. He feels safe and comforted. 

It takes him a moment to realize that his pillows shouldn’t smell like you or your perfume. His bed isn’t usually this comfortable either. 

Steve opens his eyes slowly, groaning in pain when the light shines directly into his face. Hiding behind his hands, he sits up. He rubs his eyes and runs his hand through his messy hair. Turning his back to the window, he squints his eyes as he opens them again, trying to get used to the light. 

His throat feels so dry that it hurts and his head is killing him. He can still taste the whiskey on his tongue, it makes him nauseous. 

Once his eyes are fully adjusted to the light, he takes a look around the room and his heart skips in his chest, his red rimmed eyes widen when he realizes where he is. 

His stomach drops when he finds Advil on your nightstand next to a glass of water. 

“Oh fuck,” he groans as he buries his face back in his hands. Dread fills him when he starts to remember the previous night. 

The note. The Whiskey that he stole from his dad’s office. The tears that streamed down his face when he carelessly drove to your house drunk. You. He remembers the way you held him, the way you cried too. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, tugging at his hair. 

He chugs down the glass of water and after a moment of hesitation, he gets up from your bed and looks down at himself, noticing the new– well, old shirt. He puts on his Nike’s and walks into your bathroom to splash some cold water on his face but when he turns on the light and he takes a look into the mirror, he can’t help but feel sick. His eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, his skin looks pale and his hair has never looked worse than it does right now. 

He shakes his head at himself, hating his reflection more than anything, right now. 

With a sigh, he looks down, gripping the counter tightly, knowing that he has to face you now. 

He knows that there’s a small chance that you aren’t home, that you have left. But he knows that you wouldn’t do it while he is here, not even if you’re upset with him. 

After washing his face with cold water and using your mouth wash to get rid of that awful taste of whiskey, he walks back into your room, trying not to let the sadness take hold of him again but it’s hard not to fall into the pit of darkness again when he stands inside the room of the girl he loves, the girl he has made so many memories with, in here and anywhere else in this stupid small town. 

From good memories to bad ones. 

From innocent ones like picking flowers for you at the age of 12 to buying you a bouquet of flowers for your 16th birthday. 

From comforting hugs at school to cuddling in your bed at nights. 

From first kisses on your bedroom floor to more passionate kisses in his car after every stop at the streetlight. 

From making love in your bed to fighting in your room with tears streaming down your face. 

He sees the box on the ground, the one that you took out of your closet, last night. You kept his things, just like he kept yours. 

Did you struggle to get rid of them like he did? 

Did you keep them in hopes that you would find your way back together someday?

His hands are starting to get clammy, his heart starts pounding again. He takes another look around your room before he opens the door and steps out into the hallway. 

The faint sound of the music coming from the radio tells him that you are in the kitchen. He makes his way downstairs, ignoring the shakiness in his legs or his hands. The smell of coffee lingers in the air. 

He presses his lips together as he takes a deep breath before he steps into the kitchen. 

You’re leaning against the counter, your chin is propped on your hand, a book lying in front of you, you haven’t noticed him yet and Steve takes that as a chance to look at you. 

Your hand is wrapped around a mug that Eddie must have given you, you told him that he loves Garfield. He laughed about it when you did. 

It’s only 8 am. He knows you’re not working today, yet you’re already so put together. Make up on your already beautiful skin, hair done in waves, you’re wearing an outfit you certainly didn’t wear yesterday. God, you look so beautiful that it hurts. 

His heart longs for you, his hands itch to touch you – something that he could’ve done. 

In a different world, he would pull you into his arms and shower you with kisses, he would hold you, not wanting to let you go. He would make breakfast for you and then you would spend the day together. 

But you’re in this world. 

In a world where he can’t kiss you or hold you or spend the day with you. 

“Hey..”

You raise your head and your glassy eyes meet his. 

Another wave of guilt rushes through him. You cried. You cried because of him again. 

“Hi,” you whisper as you close your book and straighten your back, you look him up and down. 

Steve hates how concerned you look, how worried you are over him. 

You take a step forward, giving him a small smile. 

“Are you feeling okay?” 

He shrugs, trying to smile back at you. 

“I’ll make you a coffee, you should sit,” you nudge your head into the direction of the kitchen table. 

“Okay.”

He walks to the table and takes the seat that was once his. It’s been a long time since he sat here and watched you. 

You make the coffee first, pouring some into a Hawkins High mug. You add two sugars, still knowing how he likes his coffee. 

“When’s the last time you ate?” 

You place the mug in front of him, eying him with softness in your eyes, something that makes all of this even harder. 

He blinks, shrugging at your words. 

“Okay,” you sigh and pull back your hair, without thinking. “Bagels or Toast? I’ll make you some eggs if you want–”

Your voice becomes faint, like he’s under water, sinking further and further into the deep end. The marks on your neck are now visible to him, the hickeys that he left. Steve is not shocked or even surprised. He already knew when he came to you, last night. It was obvious, even through his drunken haze, he could see it in your eyes, the happiness that shined in them before you took in the sight of him. 

It still hurts. 

And it hurts even more to think about you with him, especially in that way. 

“Toast is just fine,” he mumbles. 

“Okay, Steve,” you whisper, this was always his go-to breakfast after a night out. Black coffee and toast. It’s plain but it’s the only thing he gets down. 

He keeps watching you. Eyes following your every moment. 

There is so much sadness inside of him but there is also more, there is acceptance. He knows why he came here last night. 

Bits and pieces start to return to him. He remembers what he confessed to you, how you held him, how you took care of him, how you comforted him. 

He truly never deserved you.

You place a plate in front of him, “you sure you want nothing else?” You point to the buttered toast. You added a few berries on the side. 

He gives you a smile, “you know I’ll probably get sick if I eat anything else,” he says, chuckling for the first time today. 

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You always had a weak stomach.” 

“Only when I drink whiskey.” 

You nod, sitting down opposite of him. You take a sip of your coffee and lean back. You look down and reach for the magazine that your mom was reading earlier, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by staring. 

Steve looks up at you and he just knows it’s the last time that he will have your coffee and your toast. 

It’s the last time he will get to sit here with you. 

So, for a moment, he pretends that everything is alright, that this is normal, that this is something you both do every day and for the rest of your lives, that he didn’t mess up, that everything is fine. 

He takes a few sips of the coffee and eats the toast, and when he’s done, he takes a deep breath and pushes the plate aside, not looking up from the coffee just yet. 

“I’m sorry.”

You close the magazine, sighing as you finally look up. 

“You said that already… many times, Steve.”

He doesn’t say anything to that. He only looks up at you, his eyes scan your face, his lips twitch. 

“You look happy, dolly.”

What?

You shake your head a little, furrowing your brows as you stare at him in confusion. 

“You have color in your skin again, you no longer.. are skin and bones,” he says, quietly. Looking down as his eyes fill with guilt, knowing that you stopped eating because of how heartbroken you were. “Your hair is longer, your nails are painted black– a color I didn’t like you putting on because I was a fucking asshole..”

“Steve–”

He shakes his head at you, not wanting you to interrupt him. 

“You wear stuff you always told me you wanted to buy, you started wearing makeup, the heavy kind you once tried and loved but thought it was too much,” he says with a smile on his face, a knowing one. 

You see the way his eyes fall to your neck and your heart jumps when you realize what he is looking at. Surprisingly, there is no shock in his eyes, jealousy or even anger, just sadness. He knows everything and it’s not the marks on your skin he needed to look at. 

“You are living again.. and god, I want to hate him for it but.. how can I when he saved you from the pain I put you through?” 

Your eyes burn with tears. 

“I’m done standing in your way–”

“Steve,” you whisper, shaking your head. “Y-You’re not standing in the way.”

“Yes, I am.” His voice is thick with tears and by the way he is blinking, you can tell that he is trying not to cry. 

He looks down at the necklace you are wearing, the locket he had put around your neck, months ago. 

He knows that there is no picture of him inside and as much as it hurts, it’s okay. 

He didn’t come here to fight for you. He didn’t come here for a second chance or to get you back. He came here to let you go. So you could find happiness, the way you always deserved it. 

“And I don’t want to anymore. I want you to be happy.”

Your bottom lip starts trembling again. 

“And I know that you will be with him,” he says as he tears his away from the marks on your neck and he looks into your glassy eyes. “He would never do what I did. He would never put you through all of this.” 

You sniffle, looking into your best friend’s eyes. There is so much pain and sadness lingering in them and you hate it, you hate it so much. 

“I never let you go, dolly,” he finally admits with a heavy sigh. “Not at Tina’s Halloween party, not when I came to see you the next day, not after we went to Jimmy’s party together. I never let you go.” 

Your brows knit together, eyes that stare back at him with pain, fill with more tears. You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing and you look into the brown eyes you always loved so much. 

You never let him go either, that’s why it hurts so much. 

Knowing that this is the last time crushes your heart in a new way. You know that this could not only be the end of the relationship you always held onto. This could be the end of everything. 

This was always your worst fear. Losing him. 

You have lost him before but you always knew that he would come back. 

And he always knew it too. 

But this, this is different. 

And this hurts even more than it did the first time. 

You still love him, there is no doubt about that. Steve can see it in your eyes, it’s in the way you look at him, it’s in the way your lips tremble and your hands shake as fear crosses your face. You’re scared to lose him. 

How could he ever think anything else? How could he ever doubt your love for him when it’s so clearly written on your face? Even now. 

Steve can’t help but wonder; would it have worked out between you if there wasn’t someone else? 

If Nancy never stepped into his life. 

If Eddie never stepped into your life. 

Would you have stayed together? 

Would you have broken up either way? 

Would you have found your way back together in the future? 

Would he have been able to make it up to you? 

Would you get your happy ending then?

“I dropped some heavy stuff on you last night,” he mumbles, cheeks flushing red when he remembers all the things he had said to you. 

“Oh, you mean marriage and kids?” You ask as a smile tugs on your lips when you see him blushing. 

He scratches the back of his neck, scrunching his face up, “yeah..”

You laugh a little, leaning your elbow on the table, you cup your cheek, “well, I never thought that far ahead when we were still together. I mean, I never knew what I wanted for my future but I knew that I wanted you in it,” you say, watching the way he nods at you. “And maybe a cat or a dog.” 

He chuckles. 

“Or maybe a few cats and a dog.” 

A fond smile reaches his face as he stares at you, shaking his head at the thought of all the pets you’d bring home while he’d– his smile begins to fade, it will never happen. 

“Well, I’m sure that Eddie will love that.”

Your heart flutters at the thought of a future with him. Yeah, Eddie will love that. 

“You’ll be happy with him. He will make you happy,” he says confidently because he knows that he will. “And if not, well, then I’ll take you back to that treehouse and I’ll marry you again.”

A laugh falls from your lips as a tear finally rolls down your cheek. 

“The treehouse we got married in when we were ten?” 

“Yeah,” he whispers. “That one. You know I still got that paper ring,” he says with a serious face.

“I do too, I put it in a box,” you giggle. 

His eyes light up and he smiles at you, but he watches the tear roll down your cheek and then another. He stands up and he walks over to you, his heart skips a beat when you look up at him with your beautiful eyes. He cups your cheeks, wiping away the tears. 

“I don’t want you to cry over me anymore,” he whispers, holding your face for the last time. 

“Steve,” you whisper, shakily. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

You knew that this was coming. You knew that this had to happen. If he didn’t come to you last night, then you’d be the one coming to him to talk and put an end to this, once and for all. 

“I love you with all my heart and I ache for you, all the goddamn time but I don’t deserve you. You should have never forgiven me. You should have never treated me like a friend. You should have never given me the chance to be near you again… not after what I did.”

You grab his wrists, shaking your head at his words. Scared that he will leave you for good. Scared that he will leave your friendship behind and step out of your life forever. 

Steve hates to see the way your lips tremble, the way your eyes are nothing but tears, sadness and heartbreak, yet again. 

He can’t stand to see it any longer. 

“I let you go,” he whispers as he wipes your tears again. “Like you asked me to months ago.”

His heart is screaming at him not to, everything inside of him longs for him to stay, to fight for you, to drop to his knees and ask to try again. 

But this is the right thing to do. 

There is someone who can give you more than he can. 

Someone who didn’t hurt you. Someone who wouldn’t hurt you. Someone who would rather get hurt by you than do something to break your heart. 

“I choose you, sweetheart. This time, I choose you and your happiness.” 

A sad smile lingers on his face, he brushes your hair back and he looks down at the locket, one last time. 

He knows why you aren’t speaking, you’d break down if you would. 

He leans down, tilting your head up a little, he presses his lips against your forehead, kissing you one last time. 

His throat feels tight and his chest is hurting, he knows that he is on the verge of another breakdown, he is so very close to it. 

This is the hardest thing he will ever have to do. 

“Goodbye, Dolly.”

Your sniffles break his heart. You only hold his wrists tighter in response, holding onto them, your touch lingers on the wristband, one that he will never stop wearing. You let go after a few seconds. 

He feels your eyes on him, your big sad eyes. He can’t bear to take another look at you, knowing that he won’t be able to leave if he does, so he steps away from you, despite his heart telling him not to. 

He turns around and he walks away from you for the last time. He grabs his keys that you left on the counter, last night. 

With a heavy heart, he walks out of your house, biting back tears as he makes his way to his car. 

It’s over now. 

Something he held onto since he left you, is over. 

And now he doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

He unlocks his car when the front door bursts open, startling him. He turns around with tears in his eyes that threaten to spill. Before he can even react, you suddenly crash into his arms, and wrap your arms around him, you hold onto him like you’re afraid that he might disappear if you let go. You hug him so tightly.

His eyes soften and his chest fills with warmth. 

He doesn’t hesitate to hug you back, wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, he holds you tight and buries his face in your neck. 

No matter what happened in the past. No matter what he did to you. No matter how much pain you have gone through, you still don’t want to live in a world where he isn’t in your life. 

After all, he will always be the boy who picked flowers for you, who surprised you with your favorite snacks, who comforted you whenever your parents fought, who slept in your bed when you were afraid of storms, who taught you how to slow dance, who wrote you notes when he was younger, who promised you to be your prince when your first crush rejected you. 

You hold onto him, pressing your cheek against his chest. 

You stay like that for a moment, for a long moment – one that could never be long enough. 

He breathes you in and closes his eyes, ignoring the fluttering in his chest. 

He knows that this should make him feel better, to know that you love him enough to forgive him, to want him to stay but if anything, it makes him feel worse because he is still losing you.

He knows he has to walk away, for now. 

“I love you, Stevie.” 

He smiles sadly. 

He knows it’s not the same as it was. It’s not the I love you’s from all your notes. He knows it’s not the same love he feels for you, not anymore.

But the love you always had for him. The love you had since you were kids. 

And for him that’s more than he could ever ask for. 

“I love you too, Dolly.”

You sniffle, he can feel you shaking against him. You’re trying not to cry. 

“Please don’t become a stranger again, Steve.”

His breath hitches in his throat, he presses his lips together, willing the tears to stop from falling. 

“Me?” He asks, pulling back to look down at you. He musters up a smile. “I might need some time but I will latch onto you as soon as I get over my whiny ass.” He jokes, despite the pain in his heart. 

You roll your eyes but laugh at his words. 

You take a deep breath and sigh. 

This is it. 

This is what was supposed to happen. 

It hurts but you also feel relieved to finally put an end to something that kept holding you back for so long. 

You know you won’t truly lose him. 

He will always be your Steve. 

And you will always be his Dolly.

But it won’t ever be the same. 

You will be his friend and he will be yours and that’s all you’ll ever be. 

You won’t be sad forever and neither will he. 

He will find love after you. 

He will find it like you did. 

It’s what he deserves. 

It’s what you both deserve. 

“We kinda got friendship bracelets now,” he smiles through his tears, pointing to the wristband as he holds his hand up. You reach out to touch it, tracing the words. 

‘love you to the moon and to saturn’

“Well, I got one, you have a necklace.” 

You smile, placing your hand on the locket, “yeah.” 

You turn it around, looking at the half moon that he got customized just for you. 

You tear your eyes away from him and look around, furrowing your brows when you realize something. 

“You know what, we should stop doing this.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, tilting his head. 

“Saying goodbye in my driveway.” 

He chuckles, though it’s a sad one. 

“This is the last one,” he whispers. “Of this kind, at least. Our future goodbyes won’t be so…”

“Sad?”

“Yeah.” He takes your hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.”

He takes a step forward, he leans down and kisses your cheek, not paying attention to the feeling in his heart or the way his lips tingle when they touch your skin for the last time. He gives your hand a squeeze before he pulls away again. 

“I’ll see you around.” 

He can tell that you’re trying not to cry,  that you are forcing a smile onto your face. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you around, Steve.”

You can tell that he wants to say more. He looks at you. His eyes trace every inch of your face, like he’s trying to memorize you. And then, he nods to himself, blinking and giving you one last smile before he turns away from you. 

You watch him leave. 

For the last time, you watch him walk away from you. 

You stand there and wait until he is gone, until you no longer see his car in the distance. 

And just like that, he is gone, again. 

And your tears are falling again. 

-

A/N: I know that no one cares about my feelings cause I did this. But I want you to know that I freaking suffered writing this chapter. It felt heartbreaking and sad and wrong. I really wanted Steve to be the one. And my choice has nothing to do with the fact that I'm an Eddie girl, I love Steve, as well. (I know some of you don't believe this but I've loved him since 2016 so shut up, please and thanks). I didn't know how to make him come back from all what he did -- the emotional cheating, the pain he put her through, the heartbreak, the betrayal. It was too much and this ending genuinely has nothing to do with Eddie being in this story.

But also, please remember. This is not the ending of the story. So before you send any hate to me, remember that there will be another chapter and an epilogue. Anything can happen in an epilogue, just saying.

Also, I'll be working on a new Steve series. Strictly Steve x reader, I promise

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @succubusmunson @xxhellfirebunnyxx @somethingvicked @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @munson-mjstan

[pitchsidestories]

Welcome to New York II Ali Krieger x Reader

"Everybody here was someone else before And you can want who you want Boys and boys and girls and girls." Welcome To New York, Taylor Swift

masterlist I word count: 2901

The first thing you thought as you spotted Ali Krieger standing on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum was that this could have been a scene from a romantic comedy. A warm smile played on the defender’s lips while she had two cups of coffees in her hands:” Hi.” “Hi. Is this one for me or do you just need a lot of caffeine today”, you asked her teasingly.

Amused she shook her head: “No, the second one is for you. Ocean and Sloane let me sleep long enough today.” “Oh, lucky for me. Thank you so much.”, you answered grateful for her thoughtfulness. Still smiling Ali handed you your coffee: “You’re welcome.” Nervously you put a string of your hair behind your ear: “I hope you didn’t wait too long for me.” As much as you loved this city, the public transport was against you coming punctually to your coffee date with the equally busy soccer player today. Kindly she waved at you:” No, I didn’t. Do you want to keep standing here or walk around?” “Let’s walk around a bit.”, you decided.

Side by side you started walking, clearing her throat Ali admitted with a shy grin: “Alright. To be honest, I’m so glad Jason Sudeikis introduced us to each other at my last league game party.” “Oh, me too. Trust me. It was nice to get a look inside a soccer team.”, you agreed with her. Curiously the older woman looked at you:” As inspiration for your upcoming leading role in the female ted lasso spin off?” “You can never have enough inspiration. And to be honest, I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so I want to portray my role as realistically as possible.”, you declared slightly blushing.

Playfully the defender pouted: “Oh, and I hoped you were really interested in me as a person and not only in the soccer player part of my personality.” “Not at all. I think the soccer player part is impressive but it’s not the most interesting part about you.”, you told her.   “Oh really?” The blush on your cheeks intensified: “Maybe your good looks were also a part of it.” “And the glasses of wine we shared.", she winked at you. This comment made you chuckle:” I can only say that they definitely kept the conversation going.”

“Not only that.”, Ali added grinning hinting at what happened as the night turned over into the early morning, the time in which the never sleeping city was buzzing with life and excitement and the sexual attraction between you could not been denied any longer. “Ali!”

“What? It’s true.”, the football player shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. You scoffed: “You’re terrible.” “Yes, but you don’t mind it.”, she observed. Laughing you confessed: “Actually, I kinda like it.” “I can tell.”, Ali nodded satisfied. “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.”, the defender whispered.  Elegantly you changed the topic: “It’s really beautiful today. The weather is perfect.”

Ali let her gaze wander over the autumnal scenery of the Central Park. The yellowing leaves were contrasting against the blue sky. “Agreed. New York in fall is stunning.“, she smiled. “It is.“, you agreed, taking in the crisp air. “Have you always lived in New York?“, Ali asked, genuine curiosity on her face. You shook your had and admitted; “Actually, no.“ The football players eyebrows knotted together; “No?“ With a sigh, your gaze dropped down to the fallen leaves on the ground; “Although I wished…“ “Tell me about it…“, Ali implored.

“Actually, I grew up in a conservative midwestern town.“, you started to explain. The defender grimaced, understanding the implication; “Oh. I’m sorry.“ “So coming to New York as a young adult did feel liberating in every way.“, you continued with a sad smile. Ali sipped on her coffee; “You know, a lot of my team mates who are queer had similar experiences.“ “Similar to some of my acting friends.“, you added. Ali shrugged with a sigh; “I’m always glad to hear when queer people from difficult places found a safe space.“

Nervously turning the cup in your hand, you asked; “You came out quite late to the public too, right?“ “Yes, that’s true. I thought it’s no one’s business but mine.“, she replied, nodding in thought. “What made you change your mind about it?“ “I realized that I can be of better use as a role model.“, she answered nonchalantly. You bit your lip, moved by revelation; “That’s very brave of you.“ Ali gave you a wry smile; “Thank you. But that wasn’t an easy decision for me either.“ “No, I understand that. Being queer wasn’t something that people in the movie industry liked to see a few years ago… sometimes even now.“, you told her. “I’m sorry.“ You shook your head; “It’s fine, really.“ “I guess we all have our struggles.“, the defender thought out lout. “Yes, we do.“

You were grateful when Ali finally offered; “Do you want to change the topic?“ Smiling, you gave her a soft nod to leave that topic behind; “Yes, please. I don’t want to ruin the mood during our little coffee date.“ “You couldn’t. I really enjoy talking to you.“, Ali said, carefully taking your hand into hers. “Same.“ „You do?“ “Yes, even though I told you about my sad little childhood.“, you laughed, your cheeks turning slightly pink as you wondered if you had overshared. But the smile on Alis face made that thought immediately disappear; “I appreciate it. Really. I’m glad you shared it.“

“That means a lot. So, what about you? Are you excited for the play offs?”, you asked her. The eyes of the defender lit up:” Yes, absolutely. I’m happy about every game I get to play.” “This must feel very special.”, you said, her excitement was infecting you too. “It is. If you’d like to get some more inspiration you could come.”, she offered you without hesitation.

Delighted you replied:” To your game? I’d love that.” “I’ll make sure you get some tickets.”, Ali continued happily. “Thank you.” The football player could not stop smiling: “You’re welcome.” For a second you looked worried:” You don’t think Ashlyn would mind, right?” “She won’t. Trust me.”, she reassured you quickly. Relieved you sighed:” Okay. Good.” Don’t worry about it. This is over.”, Ali confirmed. With a remark you tried to lighten up the mood again:” Yes, you made that very clear when you kissed me at the doorstep after your party.” “You asked about her.” “Sorry, I’m an idiot.”, you hid your face in her hands.  Softly the football player disagreed with you: “No, you’re not.” “So that means I can kiss you? This time without alcohol breath?”, hopeful you looked up to her.  

Amused Ali glanced at you:“You can always kiss me. Doesn’t matter if it’s on parties or in the Central Park.” “Although, I’d argue that this here is way more romantic.”, you chuckled.  Expectantly she threw a look at you:” You can argue all you want but I’d rather you just kiss me.” “As you wish.”, you said before your lips met her who were waiting for that to happen since they departed from another.

After the training ended for the Gotham players Kristie let out an excited shriek: ”Oh my god, Ali ! I’m so jealous!” Confused the captain looked at her before the blonde showed her an article on her phone which contained photos of Ali and her new girlfriend kissing romantically in the Central Park. Laughing Kelley intervened:” Jealous about the fact that they had a romantic moment in the autumnal Central Park or that she made it into the news with that?” “Actually.. both.”, Kristie admitted. 

Surprised the dark-haired defender mumbled:” Oh no, they wrote about us.” “What’s wrong? It’s a cute photo.”, Kelley furrowed her eyebrows. Enthusiastically Kristie reminded the older player: “Exactly and you’re allowed to have fun, Ali. You’re in your lemonade era, remember?” “Still, I wasn’t ready to go public with that yet. And I don’t know if she was either.”, Ali bit her lip.  Empathetic Kelley put an arm around her shoulder:” I get that too.” “I need to call her.”, the captain announced.

You were on set, spending your lunch break with the other actors, when you noticed your phone ringing. Seeing Alis name appear on the display made your heart jump unexpectedly. Happily you took the call; “Ali, Hi.“ “Hi.“, she replied. The tone of her voice made you frown; “What’s wrong? You sound a bit upset.“ The football player sighed as if to brace herself; “Have you seen the article yet?“

You grabbed your coat and your bag and hurried away from the other actors, ignoring Jason Sudeikis’ sceptical glance; “Uhm no. What article? We were busy filming the new tv episodes.“ “They photographed as kissing.“, she came straight to the point. You froze in place; “Wait. What?“ “I’m sorry.“ Your thoughts began racing, bringing you back to how exhilarated you felt during your date. Even though Ali couldn’t see you, you still shook your head; “No, I’m sorry. If I hadn’t kissed you there… this article would not exist.“ “I don’t regret the kiss… really.“, the defender replied with determination in her voice. “But you wish to have been private a little longer, right? Which is understandable considering your divorce is still fresh…“, you were thinking out loud.

Ali confirmed your thoughts; “Actually, yes. How do you feel about it?“ You let a few seconds pass before admitting; “It feels very early.“ “I know.“ “But you should know that I’m serious with you.“, you added truthfully. Ali let out a small breath, relieved; “Me too. I want this.“ Your smile was back in place; “Jason gifted me an Ali Krieger Fan club - shirt. Should I wear it to one of your games or would this be too much?“ “Please do it. If they won’t let us have our privacy, we can at least have some fun with them.“ You could basically hear Ali grinning through the phone. “Exactly what I thought too.“ Ali laughed; “I like that. You get me.“

“So, I’ll see you at the stadium? Will Sloane and Ocean be there too?“, you asked. You had the chance to meet Alis kids briefly for a few times and they had already won your heart, so you got even more excited when you heard Ali say; “Yes.“ “Great. Because I already miss them while being away on the set.“ “I’m sure they’re happy to see you again too.“, Ali said, her voice soft. “And I miss you too of course.“, you added quickly. “I do hope that!“, the defender teased. “So much.“, you admitted and with a quick glance on your watch, you ended the call; “Okay, break is over. I’ll call you back tonight.“ “Talk to you later.“

The team of Gotham FC was buzzing with excitement as they stepped on the field in Portland. If the players won, this game they would make it to the final. Grinning Lynn Williams touched the shoulder of her captain: “I spotted your girl, Ali!” “Really?”, Ali wanted to know from the forward, trying to discover your face in the crowd at Providence Park.  Equally thrilled Kristie pointed to the direction where you were standing: “Over there.” “Oh. She’s wearing the shirt.”, the defender observed with a hint of proudness in her voice.

Amused Kelley remarked: “Not subtle at all.” “It’s not supposed to be.”, Ali told her. A bright smile was on Kristie’s lips:“I love it, I’m obsessed.”  “Of course, you like that, Kristie.”, Kelley threw in unsurprised. Clearing her throat Lynn drew all the attention on her:” Yeah, so that’s all cute and sweet but we’ve a game to win girls.” “Yes. We got to focus on that.”, Ali agreed with the forward. Gotham’s number 5 nodded along:” Yes, we’re making sure that Ali has another game to play before her retirement.” 

“What retirement? With those many games, I guess you can’t really call it retirement yet.”, their captain corrected her smiling. Winking Kelley reminded the dark - haired player: “Yes, but it’s one game before the final.” “And I’d love to get to the final, girls.”, with a cheeky grin Ali glanced at each of their teammates to give them that extra motivation tonight.

The game was really close, and they had to went into overtime but thanks to Katie Stengels goal in the 107’ minute against the Portland Thorns, they won this important match and would make it to the Final. After the referee blew the final whistle, Kelley cheered loudly:” She’s not done yet!” “I’m not leaving without a trophy!”, Ali shouted happily. Ecstatic Kristie who played her first minutes after her injury in today’s game screamed: “We won, bitches!” “Who are you calling a bitch?”, Ali threw an eyebrow up at the blonde before the two and Kelley started to dance out their feelings. The words to describe their emotions would be found later, now was the time to just be in the moment and celebrate.

Meanwhile Sloane made her way through the soccer players:” Mummy!” “No more b-words here, Mewis!, Ali warned her fellow teammate before pulling her daughter into a hug, Hi, baby.”

“Okay, but your new girlfriend has a nice ass.“, Kristie commented with a smirk, disregarding Alis warning, while Sloane jumped into her mums arms; “You won!“ “Mewis!“, Ali yelled before turning back to her daughter and agreed with a much softer voice; “Yes, we won. That means mum has to play one more game.“ “That’s okay. Love to see you play. Ocean was such a baby though. He fell asleep in her arms.“, Sloane rolled her big brown eyes and pointed in your direction where her little brother was sleeping in your arms. With a laugh, Ali explained to her daughter: “He is still small.“ “Yes. I’ll forgive him that.“, Sloane nodded. Alis eyes met yours and you both had to suppress a laugh.

Slowly you bridged the few steps between you two; “Hi. Sorry, someone is very sleepy. As is the big one who pretends she’s wide awake.“ You nodded first into Oceans, then into Sloanes direction. Ali put Sloane down who pressed into her leg with a yawn. “Let me take him.“, Ali offered, holding out her hands to take her sleeping son from you. She gratefully smiled at you; “Thank you so much for taking care of them. I appreciate it.“ “You’re welcome.“, you replied, leaning over to kiss your girlfriend passionately but careful to not wake up Ocean.

“Excuse me! Those kisses are not child friendly either!“, Kristies voice interrupted the two of you. Alis face was still close to yours as she rolled her eyes; “It’s a kiss. You do worse things with your girlfriend!“ “Ali is right about that!“, Lynn chimed in. Ali shook her head and you noticed the adoration for her teammates in her eyes, even though she wanted to seem annoyed; “Sorry about them.“ “It’s okay, trust me. My acting friends are even more dramatic.“, you laughed. „Yeah, I can imagine.“, the defender grinned, leaning in for another kiss.

Next to you, Lynns face brightened while she pointed to her teammate; “I bet Kristie would have been great in drama school too!“ “Yeah, but she can’t remember shit.“, Ali interjected. Kristies mouth fell open in outrage; “You guys are so mean.“ “Only because we love you.“, Kelley now joined your group, winking at Kristie. Ignoring the others, Kristie turned to you, her phone in hand; “Can we take a selfie together? My girlfriend Sam is such a fan of you and can’t wait for your upcoming tv show.“ “Sure, but I’m for Ali tonight…“, you answered politely. You posed for the photo together, grinning into Kristies phone camera while she smirked; “Yeah, we noticed that.“

“The shirt spoke for itself, huh?”, you laughed with her. An amused smile was on the blonde’s lip:” I can assure you it did.” “Good.”, you nodded satisfied. Slightly displeased Ali asked her teammate:” Are you done now, Kristie?” “Yes, sounds like someone is missing her girlfriend.”, the younger player winked at you.

The older woman rolled her eyes before turning her attention to you:” Ignore her.” “With a pleasure.”, you told her as you kissed her again. Expectantly Ali looked into your eyes when you two ended the kiss:” I hope you know that you have to come to the final now too.” “That’s alright with me.”, you replied happily. The defender whispered into your ear:“You seem to bring me luck.” “Meaning I need to wear the same shirt too?”, you asked her, throwing an eyebrow up.

Innocently Ali played with a loose hair string of yours:” Actually, this time I’d like to see you in my jersey.” “Your Jersey? Okay.”, you agreed. Softly your girlfriend blushed:“It’s a bit more.. official.” “I see.” “If you want to of course.”, Ali’s face went serious. Quickly you replied: “I do.”  “I’ll bring you one.”, the older woman decided. Proudly you glanced at her:” Thanks, it’ll be an honour to wear it.” “It’s an honour for us that you support us.”, Ali corrected you. Looking at her children you said: “The children look tired.” “Let’s take them to bed now.”

“Good night you three.”, you wished them warmly while you all four were slowly falling asleep in the hotelroom. With a bright grin on her face Ali answered:”Good night.”

[luffyandaceswife]

ꪶꪮꪀᧁ ꪶ𝓲ꪜꫀ ୭̥⋆*｡

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Warnings: AFAB reader, Spoilers, Angst, Mentions of death, Mentions of Gore, Character loss, Mentions of being sick, Implied blood, NOT A HAPPY ENDING SORRYYY

Genre: Angst 😞

!MARINEFORD SPOILERS!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

The battle had started around 2 hours ago, 43 pirate ships had arrived at marineford to save Portgas D. Ace, including you. The marines plans to speed up the exucution were in full circle even with Whitebeards statregic planing. You stood aboard the deck of the Moby Dick, alongside your father Whitebeard. You had come to save ace too, The love of your life.

Your breaths came out staggered as you watched the events before you unfold, The death of little Oars Jr, A marine ship hauling Ace’s kid brother falling from the sky, everyone fighting to get into the plaza.. You thought you had seen it all until one of the seven warlords , pirate princess Boa Hancock defend and protect Aces kid brother from the marines as he too attempted to infiltrate the plaza alongside multiple divisions of the Whitebeard crew along with sworn allies they had made over the decades.

Your heart pounded in you chest as you hopped down from the deck, your feet almost slipping against the ice, you let out a elongated breath as you began to run into the midst of the fighting. Sword in hand as you fought marines left and right. As a fleet commander you were a main target for the few Admirals that were attacking the pirates to keep them out of the plaza. You looked up only to lock eyes with your beloved, chained, beaten, and bruised. The scene along made your gut tumble, he was resting on his knees, head hung low, face stained with tears. You focused on him, not the battle around you, his eyes widened and he yelled out for you but a marine had already jumped and tackled you, knocking your sword a good distance away. You yelped in surprise as the marine held a sharp sword against your neck, your hands just blocking the blade from slicing your throat open. The blade dug into the palms of your hands as you pushed back, the stinging sensation only growing the more you fought against the marine, you closed your eyes in agony as you continued to use your strength to push him off. The marine soon went flying as you mustered up enough strength to throw him off, blood leaked from your hands, your breath now ragged, the swords locked around Ace, breath tightening in your chest as you scrambled for your sword.

“ACE!”

Ace looked down from his post, hearing your guttural scream was torture enough, alongside with having to bear the trouble of a whole war being caused over his execution.

“(NAME!) STAY BACK PLEASE-! YOULL GET KILLED!”

The sound of aces voice only fueled the fight in you. your hand clenched around your blade as you sprinted to the post, but someone had tripped you, your head hit the ice with a cracking sound, and you blacked out.

You were awoken god knows how long later to Marco kneeling above you, protecting you from the attack of the marines, Ace was standing beside him, along with his brother Luffy. Your eyes widened , seeing him free and alive was everything to you. You reached out for him. Luffy ran off to fetch what looked like a piece of paper floating against the wind. You looked away for a second to check on Marco and before you could blink the sound of impact and beads hitting the ground filled your ears, everything else went silent. The sounds of swords clashing ceased to exist as you looked up, The scene was graphic, Admiral Akainus fist straight through aces torso, Luffy on the ground looking up, paper in hand.

Your eyes widened as sound of your own gasp brought you back to reality as you screamed out his name, until your breath couldn’t take it anymore and you gasped for air, you tried to crawl to him, but Marco had grabbed you by your arms, hands resting under your shoulders as you squirmed and screamed out. Ace fell to his knees. You fell to yours.

“Ace…No..”

Memories flooded your brain, Of him holding you close on warm nights, using his devil fruit power to warm you from the cold as you sat on the deck of the ship and stargazed.

How his soft hands would capture yours and pull you into a loving and soft kiss.

How his eyes blazed with passion on adventures.

How he had promised to spend his life with you, promised to continue to take you on his adventures, promised to never part with you.

You felt sick, your meal from earlier rising in your throat.

Then he fell, right into Luffys arms. Your eyes watered instantly. Tears streaming down your face as you sat there. On your knees. Sobbing.

Marco stood in front of you, preventing you from getting to him, preventing you from reaching your one and only.

But that wasn’t enough to stop you. You quickly lunged over to them, even in your conditions, completely ignoring the risks.

“Ace-!”

“Ace…?”

He was silent for a moment, other than his sobbing, you sat at his side, arms wrapped around his, his fingers curling around yours as Luffy supported his body weight.

“Thank you… for loving someone like me…”

His voice was echoed in your ears, your heart stopping as the fingers that were curled right around your own grew limp and fell, along with the rest of his body, right onto the ice. There before you, Dead, was your lover. Portgas D. Ace.

The scream of Aces brother made your ears ring, you didn’t know what to do, you reached out to him and pulled him up.

“Ace..? ACE?!”

Tears streamed down your cheeks, hot and salty against your lips, face red from screaming and crying, his body was cold and limp, he was no longer with you, the denial hit like a brick, you continued to scream his name until marco had to drag you out of the battlefield and back onto the ship.

That scene looped over and over again in your dreams, you awoke from your sleep drenched in sweat, Blood still staining you clothes and hair from the events of last night, you went to step out of bed and realized you were in your own room. You hadn’t been in your own room in months, it was tidy and unsettling. Your heart thumped in your chest as you wobbled to the door, slipping out and staring into the sky, the early morning sunrise was painted with all kinds of colors that reminded you of him. You felt sick, the throbbing headache you hadn’t noticed before kicking in.

You remembered the adventures you two used to go on, the night you and him danced together like your lives would never be the same.. the way he held his head like a hero. But you knew deep down his memory , his legacy would live on.

“You will be remembered..”

Your voice was groggy and quiet, not and octave than a whisper.

“Long live.. The walls we crashed through… I had the time of my life with you, Ace.”

You said even quieter, a single tear dripping down your cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TY FOR READING MY FIRST FANFIC!! 😭☝️

[folkloresthings]

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE — send a muse + a song and i’ll write a little drabble for it.

lance stroll and lover pls darling 🫶🏻

LOVER. ❨ lance stroll x reader ❩

“one, two, three — cheese!”

photo after photo, you cheeks were beginning to hurt from the amount of posing you had to do for chloe’s wedding photographer. they wanted pictures of every possible combination, and with you as bridemaid there was few you weren’t in. quickly do you fix the bride’s train before hopping off to the side, letting her and scotty get their own photos finally.

the day had been absolutely perfect. venice was beautiful, even more so on a day when two of your dearest friends were committing themselves to each other. from when you’d woken that morning, pulling yourself out of lance’s arms and hurrying to help chloe get ready, to trying you very hardest not to cry during the ceremony’s vows. you couldn’t fault a single thing.

“hello,” that familiar canadian drole whispers from behind you, ducking to press a kiss to your cheek. turning, you find lance and his boyish grin, his hands finding their rightful place on your hips. “have i told you how beautiful you look today?”

“only twenty times,” you hum, reaching up to kiss him quickly. your hands smooth over his tuxedo, adjusting his tie when you hear the snap of a shutter to your left. you head turns, finding chloe with her phone in her hand, smiling dotingly at you.

“hey — we’re supposed to be taking the pictures of you,” you chuckle, reaching aimlessly for the device. she shakes her head, glowing with excitement and post—marriage bliss.

“no!” she giggled, gesturing for you to pose. “it’s a day for celebrating love, and look at the two of you!”

you cheeks turn pink, easily allowing lance to pull you flush to his side. you smile up at him, letting chloe take as many pictures as she’d like, drowning in the sea of love in his big brown eyes.

when the sun falls in the italian sky and the music pumps through the speakers, the party grows even wilder. you try to take it easy on the champagne, wanting to remember every little part of the night — but you still end up with your shoes discarded and spinning chloe around the dance floor.

“y/n!” chloe called, hurrying over to you and dragging scotty behind her. her eyes were glazed, drunk on moet chandon and love for her new husband. “i know i’m supposed to throw this but i don’t want anyone else to have it.”

your brows furrow, glancing curiously at claire and lawrence’s knowing smirks. before you know it, chloe’s gorgeous wedding bouquet is being pushed into your hands with a giggle. your eyes widen towards the bride, your heart fluttering in your chest. behind you, lawrence squeezes at your shoulder.

“chloe…” you murmur, hoping your emotions don’t spill over too much. the whole stroll family had taken you in from the second they met you and you’d never been happier to find them all. “you’re not supposed to just give this to someone. it’s all about luck.”

“lance has all the luck he needs with you,” chloe gushes. “i’ve never seen him happier than in the time he’s been with you, and i’ve seen him with a few girls. he never shuts up about you, his races have gotten so much better, he’s gotten so much better. he’s a fool if he doesn’t put a ring on your finger soon.”

lunging forward, you gather her up in a hug, soon to be stolen away by scotty’s own arms. “thank you,” you sniffle, gripping the bouquet. the song changes above you, the gentle melody of taylor swift beginning to play.

chloe and scotty head back to the dance floor, along with some other couples, and your heart turns you to search for lance amongst the party. you spot him just returning from the bar, your favourite drink in his hand, grinning manically at you. only when his eyes flicker to the flowers in your hand does he send you a quizzical look.

“what’s this?” he muses, glancing between you and the roses.

“chloe’s bouquet. it seems your family are rather eager to have another stroll wedding very soon.” you chuckle, setting the bouquet down on the nearby table. lance’s hands follow, your drinks set aside, before he leads you straight to the middle of the dancefloor.

“can i go where you go? can we always be this close?”

lance rests his hand on your waist, the other cupping your own palm, swaying softly to the song. everyone else around you fading away to insignificance. “i am too, you know.”

you look up to him, searching for what he means. “hm?”

“eager for another stroll wedding, very soon,” his echoing of your own words moments ago wind your breath, feet accidentally halting under you mid—dance. if it weren’t for lance’s guidance you were sure you’d never move again.

“you are?” your voice chokes in your throat, seized up by your heart filling with love by the minute.

“mhm. are you?” lance’s tone is teasing, because he knows your answer. you would both follow each other to the ends of the earth, for the rest of your days. that was something you’d decided on a long time ago.

“i’m yours, lance. married or not,” you smile, a hand coming to brush at his clean shaven cheek. “but another excuse to dress up would be nice.”

you grin and he mirrors it, spinning you to the music. your feet lifted from the ground, a squeal of laughter leaving you, until it’s swallowed up by his kiss. careful not to lose himself in it, considering his family are present, but enough to spill every ounce of adoration he feels for you past plump lips.

“i love you,” he mumbles into your mouth, noses nudging. “but let’s not spoil chloe and scotty’s day. i’ll do it properly, soon, i promise.”

you shake your head, unable to wipe the silly smile from your face. “you don’t have to. i don’t even need a ring, just you.”

“don’t be silly,” lance laughs, pulling you impossibly closer. “i never turn down a chance to spoil you.”

he silences you with another kiss, your head eventually resting on his chest while you move against the soft music. beside you, chloe mirrors your position, sending you a soft wink. and you know everything will be fine: a perfect night, a perfect family, a perfect love.

“darling you’re my, my, my, my lover.”

[gamerbunny1996]

The Heart of the City

Chapter 4:

Taylor POV

Everyone was sitting outside talking and laughing around a fire. Today they are welcoming the newcomers with a fire out. I just sat on a car hood away from everyone. Watching them have so much joy it makes me miss my group. My friends would always mess around even during the

horrible world. Jax was running around with the children and having so much fun. All I can do is sit here and act like everything's okay.

I smiled at everyone. ̈ What are you doing alone? Why aren't you with everyone else” a deep voice said. Turning my head I see Daryl walking up to me. ¨I could ask the same thing ̈ I sassed back. He gave me a small smirk. “Well I was working on something now you Sunshine” Daryl said leaning back on the hood. I laughed “I just don't belong with them I never did never will” I said looking up at the sky. Darly grunted at what I said “That's a lie you belong to more than the new people that just showed up today.” Shaking my head I got off the hood of the car “Whatever ye say Dixon” I walked away from him.

Heading into my “Room” I started to get out of my clothes so I could wear my PJs. When I was about to put my shirt on, someone walked into my room. Turning my head it was Jade. Rolling my eyes I slipped on my shirt. “What do ye need? I would like to be alone right now” I said, turning around. She had a knife in her hand. “You need to die, you don't belong” She said, trying to scare me. I had a straight face and she didn't like that at all. “Stop acting like you're not scared right now” she tried to seem like she could see right through me. “I'm not acting, ye don't friten me, nothing friten me so just stop trying to act cool” and at that moment she stabbed herself, fell to the ground and screamed.

Everyone came running to my room. They all had different looks, scared, confused, shock.ect. Rick looked up at me. I was just looking at her with a straight face. “Why did you do that Taylor? I thought we could trust you.” Rick said, walking towards me. I grabbed my sword and put it close to his neck. “Ye think I did this? Wow, ye don't even have the facts or anything to know what happened. Don't just think I did this because I didn't, she just wants me dead.” I looked up with darkness in my eyes. “A world once held life and now it holds the walking dead. Ye all think I would fight to take another life out of this world. We all need to fight for what we love and I fight for who tries to hurt me. This woman only loves herself and wants to be known around the place for how “amazing” she is.” I said pointing my sword at Jade.

Carol and Glenn picked up Jade and carried her away. I turned around and let my guard down. Dropping my sword to the ground I turned my head barely looking over my shoulder. “If ye want to kill me, do it now. we have nothing to use but just know once you kill me ye better not kill Jax.” I looked down after I said that. Slowly everyone started to leave the room all that was left was Rick. “Taylor we are not killing you or your dog but I’m going to have you leave this place and never come back” Rick said putting his hand on my shoulder. “You really are a horrible leader” Was the last thing I said before grabbing my bag and sword. Jax follows behind me with his head and ears down. We walk out of the building ready to leave in the night sky. Not looking back once I left the gates of the prison. “Taylor wait!” I heard Daryl yell after me. I turned around. “What! I got kicked out to don't try and stop me from leaving” I said with my fist clenched. “I'm coming with you no matter what you say, '' he said coming up to me with his motorcycle. I just turned around and started to walk away. Daryl close behind me. We stayed silent, not a word. Walking through a forest that was very silent was creepy. No walkers in sight, it was weird.

Jax soon stopped walking. I stopped and looked around. There was no noise so it couldn't have been a walker. Soon an arrow went zooming past my head right into a tree. Jumping down behind a tree I pulled out my sword. Soon a group of 4 people walked out. I know them from anywhere they were some good old friends of mine. I dropped my sword and ran to the girl I know the most and love dearly. “Amilia I missed” I said, hugging her. She hugged back right away “Me too I thought you died.” I turned to the three boys. “It's nice to meet ye Tyler, Dallas, and last but not least Zakariah” I said, holding my arms open and bowing. Dallas laughed and high fived me when I got back up. We all laughed but Zak. Soon someone clears their throat behind us. Turning around there stood Daryl with his arms crossed.

“Oh I almost forgot Daryl these are some good old friends of mine” I said with a smile. Pointing to each one of them I said their names. Turning around to the small group “And this is Daryl, someone I found on mah way around the place.” Jax soon ran up to Amilia and started to jump around her. Two little puppys came out from behind some trees. Jax got really excited and ran over to the small dogs and started to play around. “I see you still have Oreo and Cinnamon” I laughed. Amilia started to laugh as well. It felt nice to meet some of my friends.

A world with the living dead is a world you just need to be with the ones you love. It's a sad place to be alive. We all just need to fight and be strong. Tears are what weakness is trust is your strength. We can't always trust people but we can hear people's side of their story. Seeing your friends and family is what is going to help you survive this world.

? POV

It’s night time and we found an old store to stay in till morning. We have no clue where Taylor is; we haven't even got any tracks to where she could be. Winter is coming and it's getting colder. Tofu is getting sicker by the second Pip and Kaede are arguing on where to go it's all going horribly wrong. I really hope we find Taylor soon and maybe find some medicine for Tofu. The wind was loud and giving me a headache. I stared out at an old dusted window looking at the night sky hoping to find a place to stay forever and find Taylor.

Looking at the floor the three girls were fast asleep. Pip had her mouth open with one arm over her eyes and her body all over the place. Kaede was on her stomach with a jacket over as a blanket. Tofu looks freezing and in pain there is no saving her if we don't find some help for her.

[heythereangels]

treacherous

pairing: ginny wealsey x gn!reader

summary: y/n and ginny spend an afternoon bathed in golden light

word count: .8k

a/n: based on the song treacherous by tayor swift. also go stream red (taylor's version) <3 p.s i really hope you guys get all the taylor lyric references

warnings: just fluff

masterlist

"i can't decide if it's a choice, getting swept away"

--

ginny weasley was sensationally extraordinary. this wasn't just your opinion, it was an undeniable fact. this was evident by the way she looked at the moment. brown eyes turning into honey pools as the sun gleamed, hair giving off a soft red glow. it was just your luck that she was next to you. the way she reached her hand up to cup your cheek as she laid down in the flower covered grass made your heart swell with want. in these moments she always seemed so close to being yours. so close to falling over that thin line between friends and lovers. ginny and you had always been right on the edge, yearning for more than platonic hugs. but that slippery slope was something you could never some back from. and despite your desires you would never let anything happen your friendship. you and ginny had always shown each other affection. growing up in a house full of boys ginny was continually looking for a shoulder to lean on or a hand to hold, and you were more then glad to be that person for her.

the wind picked up, taking ginny's hair with it. you watched as she giggled as it blew into her face. her laugh was so infectious, you just had to laugh with her. she reached for the hair-tie around her wrist to put her hair up, but you grabbed her hand before she could get it off.

"don't" you said softly, gently running your thumb across the top of her hand. "i love your hair when it's down"

"well the wind doesn't seem to agree with you" ginny countered, but returned her arm to where it was laying before none the less. even though you had successfully stopped her, your hand didn't move from her's. you traced the lines of her palm as she looked up to the sky, watching the clouds float by.

"you know," ginny spoke up "dean asked me to go to hogsmeade with him this weekend" this caught your attention. you were no stranger to ginny being asked out. it happened almost every week, almost like a reminder that you weren't the only one who loved to bathe in ginny's radiance. but something about dean was different. unlike any former suitors, dean was kind and a genuine gentleman. it wouldn't have surprised you if this was the person ginny had finally said yes to.

so although the thought of dean cuddling up to your ginny in a booth in the three broomsticks made your stomach churn unpleasantly, you smiled and asked, "so what'd you say?"

"i said i'd think about it" she said, shifting closer to where you laying as the light breeze picked up again. "do you think i should go?" ginny asked, still staring at the sky.

the question shook you. because of course you didn't want her to go, but walking on the edge of love with you wasn't what you wanted for her. you wanted her to be happy. "if you want to go gin"

"what if i don't?" you heard

"then don't"

"and if i want to go with someone else?"

you finally turn look at her. the sun had set slightly, making the light dancing around ginny's flaming hair appear orange in color. her honey eyes held expectancy, waiting for an answer. her fingers, which were still resting on your own, laced around yours, giving you a slight squeeze.

"what do mean?" you were finally able to whisper out. "who would you want to go with?" you hoped to merlin that she was talking about you. that you might finally be able to give her the kind of affection you had been longing to for years now.

"i mean you" she whispered, face inching closer to yours by the second. you took a quick breath in, head swimming with the scent of her shampoo. god, she was so close. and then. the line snapped. the slope crumbled. your lips touched, the most delicate the two of you had every been. you carefully brought a finger below her chin, pushing her head up slightly, deepening the kiss.

you were lost in every part of her. her breath. her hips. her shining hair. her bright eyes. her lips. all making you feel golden. when your body eventually realized that air was needed, you reluctantly broke your lips apart, but not too far. you kept your forehead pressed against hers, lips only a breath apart.

"i've always been in love with you" it seemed safe for you to admit now. even the thinnest wall between you had been taken down by the kiss you shared.

you could feel ginny's lips curve into a smile. "i've always been in love with you too" she pulled away just enough for you to be able to glimpse at her freckled face, and you knew. you knew in the glowing light of the dying sunset: you were in love.

despite her burning red hair, her love was golden.

—

[thebigbadbatswife]

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

Summary - Y/N starts wondering if she dodged a bullet or just lost the love of her life.

Warnings - Please only read if you’re 18+, angst, smut, make up sex. 

[A/N] - Inspired by the song ‘I Don’t Wanna Live Forever’ by Taylor Swift

Word Count - 2.9k

The sky was covered in pitch black clouds, completely blocking out the stars. Lightning danced through the clouds and thunder shook the heavens, as rain poured onto the world below. A bright white flash briefly illuminated the old gothic manor that had weathered storms far worse than this one. Inside, the manor’s owner sat alone in front of a fireplace, a glass of bourbon in one hand, his phone in the other. He was so lost in his own thoughts, he barely heard the storm raging outside.

Bruce scrolled through his contacts and only stopped once he had reached her name. He clicked on her contact and his thumb hovered over the call button. After about a minute, he switched the phone off, set it on the nearby table and downed his drink in one. For the past six months, either when he wasn’t going out on patrol (which was rarely), or he had just gotten back from one, this was his ritual. Ever since she walked out of that door, cursing his name and the day they’d met, he found himself back here.

He wanted to call her. God above did he want to call her and make everything alright again, but she had made it extremely clear she never wanted to hear from him ever again. So Bruce didn’t call. He respected that she didn’t want to talk to him.

He set the empty glass onto the table and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes closed and he imagined that, by some miracle, she walked back in through that front door. That she’d see him standing there and would run into his arms. Bruce would wrap his arms around her, bringing her close to his body. His lips would gently brush against hers before he kissed her passionately. He’d lift her up and carry her to his bedroom. Then he’d lay her on his bed before quickly removing both of their clothes and they would stay there for hours on end.  

An involuntary sigh left him as he imagined her skin against his and his eyes snapped open because, no, that wasn’t going to happen. The logical part of his brain knew that. It reminded him constantly, but the part of his brain that dared to dream the impossible? The part of his brain that only existed because of her? That part was still convinced that somehow, someway, that would happen. Because it had to. It just had to… right?

He leaned back in the armchair he was sitting in and a heavy sigh left him. Bruce felt like he was going crazy. Every other relationship he’d had, he had never gone through this before. Even when he wasn’t the one to end it. What was it about her that made her so different?

A voice in the back of his head, and in his chest, told him exactly what made her so different, but he was quick to silence it. He didn’t want to think about that. Especially when she was no longer his. Bruce was brought out of his thoughts from a knock at the doorway. He looked over to his shoulder to see Alfred standing there.

“Master Bruce, may I suggest you get some rest so that you’re ready for that meeting tomorrow morning?” Alfred asked, though he was sure he already knew the answer.

Bruce chuckled and shook his head and turned his attention away from the older man. “Sleep? That’s the last thing I need, or want, right now, Alfred.”

His dreams had been all the same since she left. They were always about her. Good or bad, it didn’t matter. She was the main feature in all of them and he always woke up calling her name. It wasn’t bad enough she infected his thoughts during the day, non, she had to infect his subconscious as well. There was a small part of Bruce that wondered if perhaps she had similar dreams, but since she was the one that had left, she couldn’t be. Could she?

You were sitting up late on your windowsill seat, looking out over the city. For reasons you couldn’t fathom, Bruce was on your mind tonight and he refused to leave. You were slowly running through everything that had happened between the two of you and there was a part of you that was wondering if leaving had been the right decision.

When the two of you had finally gone public with your relationship, the paparazzi had constantly invaded your privacy. It had gotten on your nerves, as well as made you a little scared. Not to mention that your life had been threatened by Bruce’s enemies and those threats had increased after you had learnt his secret. It certainly hadn’t helped that every now and then a particularly crazy ex of his would show up out of the blue, nor the fact that you knew that one of them was literally an assassin.

However, even with all of that, yours and Bruce’s relationship had been one of the best things to have ever happened to you. All of your past exes, at some point, had ended up either getting aggressive with you or lost interest and left. Never Bruce though.

When you’d been together he had always made it a point to ask you about your day or how you had slept. If you’d had a bad day or dream or whatever, really, then he would do what he could to try and cheer you up. When he was away on business trips and couldn’t take you along with him, he always made sure to either text or facetime you before you went to bed, no matter what the time it was for him. And if he was ever forced to cancel a date or accidentally missed an anniversary he would always make it up to you in the best possible way.

It was memories like these that had you wondering if you truly had dodged a bullet by leaving Bruce or if you had just caused yourself to lose the love of your life.

You wanted to scream! Why were you thinking about all of this now?! You could understand thinking all this before you had made the decision, but afterwards? After it had all been said and done? It made no sense!

You ran your hands through your hair and let out a frustrated sigh. You eyed your phone sitting on the other side of your windowsill seat. Should you call him? Let him know you had made a mistake? You knew he would probably still be awake at this hour… That’s when you remembered the article you’d seen a couple of days ago where Bruce had been pictured at a gala with a rather beautiful woman on his arm. It could just be for show…

‘Or he’s already moved on,’ you thought sadly. It didn’t matter if you had made a mistake or not, it was far too late to correct it now. With that thought, you got up from where you were sitting and made your way to bed.

A couple of nights later you found yourself in the exclusive nightclub, The Sirens. Your best friend, Tracey, had dragged you here saying it was about time you found someone else. And this club was the perfect place to do exactly that!

You really hadn’t wanted to go, but since she was your best friend, and you didn’t want to disappoint her, you agreed to go.

You were wearing a short low cut black dress, that perfectly highlighted your assets, with matching black heels. As for your makeup, you had gone for a dark smokey eye and a red lipstick. The lipstick had, of course, been Tracey’s idea. As she had applied it, she had enthusiastically claimed that men would not be able to keep their eyes off of you. And she had been right.

All night men had been coming up to you, trying to flirt, bought you a couple of drinks and you had turned them all down. There was only one man that you wanted to be paying attention to you and you were now the last thing on his mind. You inwardly laughed at yourself. Here you were in one of the nicest places in Gotham City (and that was saying something since this was Gotham after all), and you were standing around, turning down perfectly good hotties and looking sad because you couldn’t stop thinking about Bruce fucking Wayne! It was pathetic.

As you turned down yet another perfectly suitable one night stand candidate, Tracey came over to you, annoyance sparkling in her emerald eyes.

“Seriously? What was wrong with that one!” she exclaimed as she gestured in the direction the man had gone. You leant an elbow on the bar's surface and ran your hand through your hair.

“Nothing,” you replied quietly. Nothing had been wrong with the five before him. Well, nothing except for the fact that none of them were him.

“Fuck, you’re really not over him,” Tracey stated when she saw your expression.

“No, Tracey, I’m not. I thought I was, but...” you trailed off as you turned your head to meet her gaze. She shook her head which caused her blonde ringlet curls to bouncy slightly. Tracey then grabbed your hand.

“Come on,” she said as she started to pull you away from the bar and outside the club.

As soon as you were outside, she let go and quickly hailed down a cab. As one pulled up, she tugged you over to it.

“What are you doing?” you asked as she did so. She stopped and turned around and faced you, placing her hands on both of your shoulders.

“You are getting into that cab, you are going to Wayne Manor and you are going to tell that billionaire playboy you ain’t over him. Then you’re going to have a fan-fucking-tastic night, which you’re going to tell every single detail of to me, tomorrow. Understood?”

“But Tracey, what about that picture?” You didn’t need to elaborate as Tracey had been there when you’d come across the article.

“Right, I can’t tell you how I know this, but from what I heard, Brucie boy didn’t say a word to her after that picture was taken. Hell, apparently he just left her there at the end of the night! Which means, he’s probably moping over you like you’re moping over him,” she replied as she continued to drag you over to the cab and basically pushed you inside. “Now go and make sure you have fun!”

Before you were able to protest further, Tracey was already walking away.

“Where to, miss?” the cab driver asked. You couldn’t believe you were doing this.

“Wayne Manor, please.”

The drive to Wayne Manor was far longer than you remembered it being, which meant that you had far too much time to think about what you were doing. Was this really such a good idea?

As the cab started up the driveway and eventually came to a stop right outside the Manor, you knew there was absolutely no turning back. There hadn’t been the second you had told the driver to bring you here. So you paid the cab driver his fair and got out.

As the car drove away you looked up at the Manor before beginning to slowly make your way up the front steps. Nervously, you rung the doorbell. A few minutes past and the door opened, revealing a very confused Alfred.

“Miss Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I came to talk to Bruce. Is he home?”

“Of course,” Alfred stood to the side to allow you into the Manor. Once you’d entered and he had shut the door, he began to lead you through the halls to the room Bruce was currently in. “Right this way.”

When you got there, Alfred bid you good luck and then left off to get back to whatever it was he had been doing before your arrival. Taking a deep breath, you entered the room.

Bruce was pouring himself a drink when you walked in. The sound of your heels on the polished wood floor made him stop and he looked over his shoulder at you. His eyes were wide like he had just seen a ghost.

“Y/N…” your name was barely a whisper as it left him.

“Hi,” you replied timidly. You realised that you had no idea what you wanted to say to him.  

He abandoned his drink and approached you slowly, like if he moved too quickly you would sudden evaporate before his eyes. He came to a stop before you and his hands came up and cupped your face. One of your own hands came up and rested over the top of his. His blue eyes swirled with too many emotions for you to make out clearly what they were. One of them, however, you saw just long enough for a warm feeling to start flooding through your chest.

“You came back.” The disbelief was more than evident in his voice as he spoke.

“I did. Bruce I’m so sorry, I…”

“That doesn’t matter anymore,” he replied, cutting off your apology. “Just kiss me.”

You leaned up and kissed him, putting all of the passion you could behind it. It wasn’t long before the kiss turned heated, your tongues quickly slipping into each other's mouths and you found yourself pushed up against the wall. To make it easier on the both of you, Bruce hooked his hands under your thighs and lifted you up. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his hips and your arms around his neck.

Bruce was soon kissing and biting at your neck as one of his large hands slipped into your dress and began to fondle one of your breasts. A moan left you as he gently tweaked your nipple. He trailed kisses up your neck, along your jawline and back to your lips. As you kissed and he continued to fondle your chest, you decided you’d had enough of the foreplay and that you wanted, no you needed, him inside you.

You pulled away, breathing hard and trying to return some oxygen to your brain. “Bruce, I need you. Now,” you said in between pants. He answered by pulling you away from the wall and carrying you through the Manor, toward his bedroom. As he climbed the stairs and walked through the hallways you resumed kissing and began to unbutton his shirt.

Once you reached his bedroom, you were both quick to remove your clothes and settle on the bed. Bruce hovered over you as he aligned himself with your entrance. Then his blue eyes were meeting yours and he silently asked for your permission. You answered with a small nod and then he was slowly pushing his cock into you.

You let out a pleasure filled cry as your walls stretched around his cock. A low guttural groan left him as well. Fuck, you had forgotten how good he felt. When he was fully in, he stilled and ducked down and captured your lips with his. Once you had adjusted to him, you let him know with a small roll of your hips and he began to move. He started off slow, drawing out each of his movements, before picking up speed.

“Fuck… Bruce!” were the only words you could coherent form as he slammed into you and stole the breath from your lungs. The grip he had on your hips was sure to leave bruises there, not that you cared. The sound of skin slapping against skin was loud and obscene in the room and nearly drowned out the moaning mess Bruce had turned you into. As always, other than the occasional grunt or groan, Bruce was mostly silent.

“Y/N, I’m close,” he managed to say as his thrusts were starting to become more erratic.

“Me too…” you managed to reply in between your moans. No sooner had the words left your mouth you suddenly felt his thumb against your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts. Suddenly the pleasure was all too much and you came crying his name. Then Bruce was pulling out of you and spilled his seed across your stomach.

After you two had cleaned up, Bruce gathered you up in his arms and maneuvered you under the covers with him, before pulling you in close. You were both silent as you laid there, you both felt as if you had gotten out everything you needed to say through your lovemaking. Well, almost everything. There was the big question of whenever or not this meant you were back together.

“Bruce?” you called out softly as you pulled away just far enough so you could see his face. He brushed an errant strand of hair away from your face.

“Yes?” he answered.

“Does this mean… I mean, are we…?”

“Back together?” Bruce asked as he finished your sentence. You nodded and he smiled. “I fucking hope so.” You chuckled a little at that.

“So, this means you still want me?”

“Darling, of course I still want you. I will always want you,” he replied before kissing you gently. When the kiss ended, you snuggled in close to him. “And I’m sorry about what happened. I’ll never be that reckless again. I promise.”

“I should hope not and, for the record, I’m always going to want you as well.”  

[jonnnysuh]

How To Write Good // Vernon

A/N: It all started with watching Vernon’s English tutor series and now we’re here omg. This is my first series so please give it some love <3 kind of unedited so lmk if there’s any mistakes! PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

PAIRING: Vernon x You

GENRE: enemies to ???, fluff, student!vernon, tutor!vernon

WARNINGS: swearing

WORD COUNT: 2.7K

SUMMARY: There’s the crisp air of campus, the rush of something new, and a four year degree ahead of you. Your college experience doesn’t go off as smoothly as you’d hoped when you fall asleep on course selection day and are stuck with left over electives. Struggling to get through your creative writing class, you have no idea how you’re going to get through this semester. Fate steps in when the stranger you fought in the library might just be your only chance at passing. This is all just part of the college experience… right?

Orange leaves began surrounding the burnt red brick pathway, and the small green hills of the campus quad.  Fall was fast approaching, without much warning.  The bright summer sky, now often clouds of gray. The wind brushed past you, causing your hair to fly up. Your legs brushed together quickly as you tried to make your way through campus to get to your Writing in the Arts class. You swore to yourself that you wouldn't sleep through course selection but sometimes sleep was an actual priority to you...and it so happened to be on that day.  Not your first choice, but definitely miles ahead of  Economic History on the list of leftover electives.

You flipped over your wrist to take a look at the time on your brown pleather watch. 8:12.

Professor Hampton was an older woman, who always kept her sandy brown hair in a slick tight low bun. She had enforced a rule that the doors to the lecture hall would shut 15 minutes past the hour. If you didn’t make it then you’d have to get notes from a classmate. Maybe it’d be fine if you had a friend in the class that was actually punctual, but you had often sat alone in the same spot in the far left corner of the class room.  Time was definitely never on your side as you reckoned you only had 3 minutes left until your trip downtown was rendered useless. 

You swung the thick metal door open, and began pumping your legs forward, not stopping until you reached the top of the stairs. To your luck, the lecture hall was on the exact end of the hallway. As you took longer strides, your gray backpack bounced behind you. Finally arriving at the end of the long hallway, you came face to face with Professor Hampton, who had a scowl so thick you’d think it was drawn on with a felt tip permanent marker. Without an ounce of forgiveness, that old lady secured the door shut, eyes keen on your betrayed face just a few centimetres from hers.

With the little pride you still had, you contained the urge  to bang on the door repeatedly and say "OPEN UP."

If you hadn't had time to get ready that day, or missed your bus, dammit this would've been the boiling point that would've driven you to  kick the wall. Your saving grace was that there was a cute guy typing away on his laptop in this hallway and you'd be damned if you were about to look a fool.

It was that moment, you knew that if you were going to pass this class without sacrificing a wink of sleep, you were going to have to make a friend that was good at writing notes. And quick.

—

The next day, you navigated your way through the twists and turns of the library, never having had been there a day in your life. You swear you’d gone in a circle at this point. You promised your best friend, Taylor that you’d secure a spot for your impromptu study date. Although you both had good intentions, you knew it was more than likely going to become a gossip session that involved sometimes looking at class material.

Among the rows and rows of occupied tables, you finally found an empty table, situated next to the window that overlooked the architecture and art buildings. You settled in the chair, slipping your laptop out of your tote bag , and typing mindlessly to look busy while you waited for your friend. With a look around the room, you wondered if people actually studied at the library or if they were just faking it like you.

You were so immersed in your game of Tetris you almost didn’t hear the voice that said , “Hey, I think you’re at the wrong table.”

You paused your game and surveyed the empty wooden table you were sitting at.  You blinked slowly at the brown haired man.  “I was here first.”

“That might be true but I booked it out for the hour.” The stranger stood with a slight slouch, sporting a backwards snapback and a deep green hoodie. He didn't look like the type to hang out around the library- but then again, neither did you. You swear you had seen him before, but you couldn't place where.

Did I go to high school with him?  you thought.

What if he was ugly and had a glow up and that’s why I don’t recognize him?

You took a closer look at him.

Nah. I don’t think he’s ever been ugly in his life.

“Look. My name's right here." He leaned forward, showing you his screen.

[TABLE 9] 3:00pm - Vernon C.

You pushed the phone away, unimpressed. "But you showed up late."

"It was only 6 minutes." Vernon scoffed, as if his tardiness would automatically forfeit him from his table.

"Well, have you ever heard of finder's keepers?"

Vernon nodded, his voice pointed. "But have you ever heard of fair and square?"

You tried your best to conceal the fact that you were somewhat amused by his elementary-level comeback.

"Could you look into your great, big heart to share?” You pouted tauntingly.

"Oh, yeah, because you need a table to play Tetris." He responded sarcastically but it was as if he had crept into your mind. You dreaded the idea of being on your feet trying to find another place for your game.

Your best friend rolled in between you two innocently, confused at the interaction at hand. It was like a kid walking in on their mom and dad fighting for the first time… except dad is a Tetris-hating stranger you just met 3 minutes ago.

“Sorry I’m late, Y/N.”  Taylor interjected, trying her best to mend the atmosphere with a grin.  Vernon's posture went notably straight as he exhaled, returning a sweet close-lipped smile. You couldn't help but notice the way he looked at your friend- you squinted at the shadow of the difference between this Vernon and the one that basically told you to fuck off only moments prior.

Without a doubt, you knew he was suffering from the "Taylor Effect".

Taylor was your textbook girl next door; equipped with a warm demeanour, and a confidence that was endearing rather than cocky.  You could tell that Vernon was trying his best not to stare so obviously, but he was failing miserably.

Because everyone gravitated towards her, many found it odd that she chose to keep you as company. Sometimes you thought she stuck around only because your personalities were so starkly different and would emphasize how great she was, but time and time again she proved she was notable on her own accord.

"Did I interrupt something?"

You and the man shared a look.

Vernon had a feeling that if he let you speak first, that you might ruin his chances with Taylor, and there was absolutely NO shot that he was going to tell her what had just happened. You were quick to take advantage of the situation.

“Vernon just wanted to take the tab-“

He shook his head, "No, no, no I was just leaving."

You raised your eyebrow, smugly.

“I'll see you later,” He bid.  Your eyes widened as he went closer to you, clasping his hand around yours and pulling you forwards into an almost embrace. He dapped you up. Vernon dapped you up. What? Did he think you were bros now?

Ya, right. You thought. This is my first and last time in this library. You will never see me or my Tetris again.

And with that, he swung his backpack over his shoulder  coolly and headed down the long carpeted aisle in the other direction.

Only a few moments later did he return to go through the north exit. “Wrong way.” He mumbled, charting past both of you.

—

“So you don’t know anyone in that class?” Taylor said in disbelief as you two sat at the table you had only marginally won.

“No, I missed the first two weeks so by the time I actually went to class  they already had their groups.”  you responded, blowing air out of your mouth in frustration.

School had only just begun and Taylor had swept up a bunch of friends, including you, in just this one semester.

You, on the other hand, were awkward, but not in the forgivable way. You never knew the right thing to say, and your sarcasm drew a fine line between a joke and the truth. You felt like you always had to bite your tongue to hold a decent conversation with someone. In turn, this scared a lot of people away, and resulted in a small but good group of friends that understood you.

For some reason though, you did well with confrontation. That was the only time you could force yourself to not care about what someone else thought about you. Other than that, your communication skills were almost useless.

“So go up to those kids and say hi.” Taylor responded.

You knew your best friend was being well meaning, but sometimes she felt like she oversimplified your problems because she saw it through her own lens. Of course it would be easy for Taylor to do so, but for you it would be a different story. Your stomach turned at even the mere thought of introducing yourself to the group of strangers that always sat all the way in the front of the lecture hall.

“I’ll just figure it out. I don't know how to just talk to people."

“What about that guy that I just saw you with? What was that about?”

You cleared your throat, fixing your attention to your laptop screen. Getting work done suddenly seemed more interesting.

“No, no, no look at me.” Taylor dragged your laptop away.

You begrudgingly looked at your friend. “What about him?”

“Who was that? He was kind of cute.” She cupped her cheek with her hand and sat closer, clearly interested. It was rare to see you with anyone other than your usual friend group so Taylor was invested in your endeavours outside of it.

You knew that if you told Taylor about your weird argument with a stranger, that she’d explain that you were unfriendly, that you needed to be nicer, etc. etc. You didn’t need a lecture today.

“Just some dude who finished using the table.”

Taylor chuckled, “What kind of guy says bye like that to a person he just met?”

Her guess was as good as yours.

—

ONE WEEK LATER

Determination is setting 25 morning alarms, pre-picking your clothes and opting for an on-the-go breakfast in order to just make it on time for class. You took your final strides towards the class slowly, knowing you finally had time on your side. Would it be crazy to call waking up at 6am a victory? Doesn’t matter, you were just so happy, you could answer Professor Hampton’s questions… that is, if you listened.

At the bottom of the lecture hall, sat the aforementioned groups, while the top were lonesome stragglers looking at their phones in an effort to look less lonely. You knew they were probably just reviewing their settings; turning their wifi on and off.

Professor Hampton cleared her throat into the microphone at the front of the class, prompting you to pick up the pace to your regular spot at the far left corner.

No way.

Your speed slowed down again, as you craned your head to get a better look at a brown-haired boy sitting by himself.

Despite the numerous empty seats to choose from, your caffeine rush assisted you in making the possibly dumb decision of sitting exactly right next to him. He seemed unbothered, though as he didn’t look up to question it.

Professor Hampton played her slides, while you pulled out your laptop out of your tote bag.

“Hey.” You whispered.

The man’s light brown eyes flickered towards you.

“You’re in this class?” Vernon whisper-exclaimed.

It registered in your brain that this might’ve been a mistake.

You nodded.

Vernon kept his focus on the front of the class, his pencil swivelled  away on his lined paper. You had never seen anyone actually take real-life notes before. You scanned his paper, pleasantly surprised at the organization.

“Why did you dap me up last week?”

“I honestly don’t know what I was doing.” He admitted.

Boys do dumb things around pretty girls. You'd seen it happen so many times with Taylor.

“She’s cute isn’t she?”

“Who?” Vernon was quick to play dumb, but he clearly knew. 

You were fascinated by how he was writing and listening to you at the same time.

“Taylor—my friend.”

Vernon squinted his eyes, either to think or because he couldn’t see the projection clearly. It made you wonder why he sat in the back of the class if that was the case.

“Yeah, she is.”

Bingo.

You silently relished in your impromptu decision to sit next to a stranger.

“What would you say if I got you a date with her?”

Vernon put his pencil down. “You strike me as the kind of person who wouldn’t do that out of the kindness of your heart.”

You snorted. “You’re right.”

Vernon let out a deep sigh, pushing his hoodie sleeve up his arms. He relaxed back in his seat and stared at you as he waited for your proposal.

“What is it?” His deep voice was littered with impatience but it was clear he was at least curious.

You weren’t  prepared to gain his full attention. Your mind went several ways as you collected your thoughts to be as concise as possible.

“I’m struggling in this class, okay? I can’t always make it on time, and creative writing? Not really something I’m interested in.”

“Then why’d you take the class?”

“Why does anyone do anything here? For the credit.” You responded as if the answer was obvious.

Vernon’s raised eyebrows was enough to tell you that he was actually passionate about this subject— which was perfect for you if you wanted to pass the class.

“How do I come into this, though?” His patience running thin from your incredibly interesting backstory.

“If you tutor me up until midterms and I pass, I’ll get you a date with Taylor.”

He shook his head “What if you fail?”

“Then you can take that as a reflection of your teaching skills,” Vernon rolled his eyes. Okay maybe that was a bad joke. “but on the plus side you’ve gained a new friendddddd.”

Professor Hampton gave you two a dirty look on her way back from shutting the lecture hall’s door. Vernon picked up his pencil to look busy and you tapped on your trackpad to turn the screen on.

“And what if I say no?” Vernon said between his teeth, catching the professor glare right at him with her scowl turned up to one hundred.

“Then I’ll shit talk about you to Taylor so you never have a chance.” You threatened. Your mom always urged you to use your brain, and boy, were you using it.

“You want me to teach you how to be creative?”

You shrugged. “I mean, how hard can it be?”

Vernon looked down at his notes contemplating his choices. He was silent for so long that you actually started typing notes.

“Y/N” Vernon whispered. You seemed to be fully immersed in the lesson now. Your eyes absorbing the information... Maybe writing was kind of fascinating.

“Y/N” He tried again, snapping you out of a trance.

“My bad.” you apologized. “I didn’t know the interesting part of the story was called the climax like ew—”

“I can only tutor you on Thursdays between 6 and 8 in the library. Bring your laptop and be prepared to learn.”

You knew you didn’t have class at those hours, so it should’ve been fine, but you also dreaded staying after school longer than you had to.

“What about 4-6?” You pleaded.

Vernon looked offended at your counter offer. “No. 6-8”

“4:30…?” You tried once again.

Vernon snorted at your no-quit attitude. “You wanna pass or not?”

You stuck out your hand defeatedly and Vernon shook on it before either of you could change your mind. Vernon was your new tutor.

Maybe Taylor was right. All you had to do was go up to someone and say “hi.”

And blackmail them. And use your friend as bait.

Making friends was easy.

[texanstarslove]

everything has changed

A/N: So this little number is for @hockeynetwork‘s Winter Gift Exchange and I was matched with @bigboigritty​! I hope this fic lives up to your expectations, my dear! I was thrilled to write a fic for Nolan as I had yet to do so up until this point! I also want to give a special shout out to @danglesnipecelly​ for listening to me rant and rave and yell about this fic NON FUCKING STOP. LOVE YOU K! 

Song Inspo: Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran

Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, ridiculous amounts of fluff, cheesy friends to lovers trope 

Word Count: 8.5k

*italics indicate flashbacks*

~

They say that opposites attract, like fire and ice or Yin and Yang. Two completely different entities that have no business being together but somehow find a way to connect and create something beautiful.

That was the definition of your relationship with Nolan. 

You were the outgoing one, the one who would talk to anyone like you had known them your whole life without a second thought. You never met a stranger and were friendly and kind. One time while you were waiting for your coffee order at a local café you struck up a conversation with another customer over the most mundane of things: the straws sitting on the counter. That was just the kind of person you were. Always ready to chat with anyone about anything, sincerity in your voice at all times.

Nolan...not so much. He was a nice guy, yes, but he definitely didn’t have the same bubbly, loud, boisterous persona like you. He was happy to keep to himself, never really wanting to go out of his way to make small talk with anyone. Half the time when he spoke, it would come out as mumbles that were borderline incoherent. And although he was sometimes a person of very few words, he also carried an air of confidence. He wasn’t cocky by any means, just someone who seemed to be very sure of themselves most of the time. Some would say he gave off the vibe of someone who was constantly irritated or annoyed, a grump even.

But that was part of the reason he drew you in. He was intriguing to you. He made you want to get to know him better. He could say the same about you, how you made him want to open up in ways he never could with anyone else. The way you carried yourself made that easy, your nonjudgmental attitude made talking to you effortless.

When you first met Nolan, it was in the elevator of the apartment building you had just moved into. You were carrying the last of your belongings in perhaps one too many boxes, struggling to make it to the elevator before the doors closed. It was then, unbeknownst to either of you at the moment, that everything had changed.

“Hey, wait! Could you hold that for me?”

You moved as fast as you could, the person in the elevator holding their hand against the door to keep it open. You huffed out a ‘thank you’ before leaning against the wall to catch your breath, running your eyes over the person standing just a foot or two away from you. He was tall, easily towering over your smaller frame, hair swept under a cap that sat backward on his head. When you were finally able to get a good look at his face, the first thing that struck you were his eyes. They were the same as the sky and sea calming after a storm, swirls of gray and blue mixing seamlessly into one beautiful color. Something about those eyes made you stare just a little too long, your trance was only broken when he cleared his throat and glanced at you expectantly, his voice so much deeper than you thought it would sound like.

“What, uh...what floor?”

“Oh, um,” You blinked, shaking your head as if to bring you back to reality, and glanced at the button display to your left. The button for your floor, the sixth, was already illuminated. “Looks like mine has already been pressed. You headed to the sixth floor?”

The man just nodded, lifting his cap with one hand and running the fingers of his free hand through his hair before settling the cap back on his head. You cocked your head to the side, studying him once more. You immediately picked up on his reserved vibe but you felt compelled to talk to him some more.

“I’m assuming you live here, too?” 

He nodded his head again but turned slightly to face you so it didn’t look like he was ignoring you. You noticed his hands fidgeting in the front pocket of the black hoodie he was wearing as you continued to try and coax conversation from him.

“Do you like this complex?” You asked, “I read the reviews before I moved in and they all seemed pretty good. I figure asking a current resident how they felt about it would make me feel better about my decision.”

One of his hands leaves the pocket of his hoodie to rub the back of his neck. “It’s pretty nice. I just moved in this year and can’t really complain too much about it.”

“Yeah? That’s good to hear,” You replied, “This is the perfect spot between where I work and the university. I figured having someplace right in between would bode well for me.”

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like a good idea.”

You nodded your head, clicking your tongue as you thought of more things to say to keep conversation with him. The way that he spoke intrigued you. It was almost as if he was talking behind his teeth, his voice almost coming out as a mumble. You studied him some more, noticing how he slowly rocked back and forth on his heels, his eyes downcast as if to avoid eye contact. The vibe he was giving off wasn’t exactly standoff-ish, but he definitely wasn’t jumping at the chance to keep talking. You didn’t know what it was, but something about him pulled you in and you wanted to know more about him. The elevator dinging as it reached your floor interrupted your thoughts and you shifted the boxes in your hands as the doors opened. 

“Do you need help with that?” The man asked as the top box began to teeter over the edge of the one it was situated on.

“No, no,” You rushed, “I’ve got it.”

“You sure? It looks like you’re about to..”

Just as the words were about to escape his lips, the top two boxes came tumbling out of the elevator doors, its contents scattering across the floor. You sighed heavily, shaking your head at the scene in front of you before bursting into a fit of giggles. The man looked between you and the mess that had just been created by your stubbornness and sighed.

“Just like a woman,” He mumbled, “Never wanting to accept help.”

You caught on to the teasing in his monotone voice quickly, turning to stick your tongue out at him as you giggled some more. 

“Oh, shut it.” You shot back through your laughter, “You can help me now if you want.”

He chuckled softly, extending his arm out of the elevator as if to lead you out. You shook your head as you walked into the hallway, thankful no one else was around to see what a disaster you had created. You crouched down to begin picking up your things, throwing them haphazardly into the boxes on the ground. The man did the same, only he was a little more careful with your belongings as he placed them inside the boxes.

“God, you must think I’m a hot mess.” You sighed, putting the last few items back in their box. “I swear I’m a little more put together most of the time.”

“Not a hot mess,” He said, “A little talkative maybe but…”

“Oh my god, I’m sorry.” You cut him off, “I have a tendency to chat people’s ears off. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

“Not at all,” He reassured you, “I’m used to it. I have a buddy who never shuts up so really, it doesn’t bother me.”

You smiled, nodding your head, grateful that he didn’t think you were a complete loon. It was at this point you realized you hadn’t even properly introduced yourself. “And you must think I’m incredibly rude making you help me pick up my shit when we don’t even know each other’s names.” You offered your hand to him. “(Y/N).”

He gently took your hand, squeezing lightly as he shook it. “Nolan.”

“Well, Nolan,” You stood from where you were crouched down, holding the boxes you could while he carried the others. “I really appreciate your help.”

“If you would’ve let me help you in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened.” That teasing was back again. He stood from his spot as well, a sly smirk spread across his lips.

You playfully bumped his hip with yours as the two of you walked down the hall to the front door of your apartment. Setting the boxes you were carrying beside the door frame, you pulled your keys from your jacket pocket and unlocked the door, gently pushing the boxes across the threshold with your foot before taking the remaining boxes from Nolan.

“This is crazy,” He mumbled, pointing over his shoulder, “My apartment is literally right across the hall.”

“Yeah?” You turned to face him once you set the last of the boxes inside, “That’s awesome! Maybe we’ll become best friends after all.”

Nolan smiled, his already rosy cheeks darkening just slightly, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“Yeah, maybe.”

That chance meeting in that elevator was quite possibly the greatest thing to ever happen to you. Not only had you met your neighbor and actually got along with him, but you also became friends, best friends, almost instantly. It started with the occasional meet up at each other’s apartments, getting to know each other before hanging out almost regularly. Your polar opposite personalities meshed together perfectly, both of you bringing out the best in each other. Nolan felt like he could be 100% authentic, becoming more and more open with his feelings around you. He felt like he could tell you anything and all those feelings he had were reciprocated by you. You could tell each other anything about everything, sharing every aspect of your lives with the other. You were like two peas in a pod, attached at the hip whenever he was home. Eventually, the two of you had exchanged keys, mainly so when he was gone on road trips with his team you could bring in his mail so it wouldn’t pile up. He only held on to yours at your insistence.

“It’d be weird if I had your key and you didn’t have mine, Nolan.” You told him when he tried to brush it off. “Just take the damn thing. Just in case, you know?”

Most of the time, you were the one letting yourself into his apartment. You’d send a quick text of “I hope you’re decent, I’m coming over” before all but barging in, filling his usually quiet space with your over the top energy. It would be a lie if Nolan said it didn’t take some getting used to. He was so used to being by himself, him and his video games or music. And though you always told him he could, he really did not need to ever let himself into your apartment when you weren’t there. He wasn’t like you, always bringing him food or buying little trinkets and placing them in random spots in his apartment. He never complained about the meals but always balked at the idea of new decorations you managed to find for him. You insisted that he needed to liven up his space, that it looked too much like a jail cell instead of a place to call home.

“I like my place just fine, ma’am.” He once told you, poking at your latest purchase, a set of succulents. “Besides, I’ll just kill these fucking things anyway.”

“Then it’s a good thing I have a spare key.” You countered, placing the plants along the window sill. “I’ll make sure you don’t kill my babies.”

He laughed at your comparison of the plants to children. “Why don’t you just keep them at your place then? Why do they need to take up space in my apartment?”

“Quit arguing with me, Nols.” You scolded him, “Not in front of the kids.”

Conversations like that always ended with him chuckling and shaking his head, all but admitting defeat. He would never say it out loud to anyone, but he actually loved how much you seemed to care about his well being. While he was perfectly capable of doing things for himself, if it made you happy, that was all that mattered to him. There was something about the outgoing and sometimes clumsy girl he met in the elevator that made it all worth it. The mood was always lifted when you showed up and though he would tease you about invading his space or being obnoxious, you both knew he never meant a single word.

There were, however, those rare occasions where Nolan would use your key. It didn’t happen very often but whenever he was going through a particularly rough patch, he found solace in you. It could be about anything, the way a particular game went, how he as an individual player was performing or if he was just having a shitty day. Whatever brought him to the edge emotionally, he knew he could come to you. You always knew when it was coming, too. Instead of a normal greeting when he entered your apartment, you’d hear the door unlock before it opened slowly, Nolan trudging in without saying a word before closing the door behind him and flopping on your couch. He’d exhale loudly, a clear indicator that something was wrong, waiting for you to come sit beside him. 

That’s exactly what happened this time. Just as you finished up an online class, you heard the key in the lock. When you closed your laptop and glanced up at the door, Nolan was there with a sullen look on his face. He went through the normal routine, keeping quiet and not saying anything, just a nod of acknowledgment before sitting on your couch with a heavy sigh. You smiled sadly, placing your laptop back in its case before walking to sit down beside him.

“What’s up, Grumpy McGee?” You teased, taking your place on the couch and resting your head on his shoulder. Typically Nolan would huff out a laugh at your eloquent nicknames for him but not this time. When all you got in reply was yet another deep sigh, you leaned back taking in his appearance. His shoulders were slumped more than usual, his posture slouched and head hanging low. He avoided eye contact when you tried to move your head to look him in the eye.

“Nolan?” 

When his eyes finally met yours, you were taken aback by what you found within those ocean-blue depths. You had seen him angry, happy, frustrated; all of the feelings that came with the profession he was in. You had seen just about every emotion in those eyes but this one almost took your breath away. For the first time, when you looked into his eyes, you saw someone who was unsure of themself. Someone who lacked the confidence they so often carried with them, even if it was in a subtle way. 

“Hey,” You murmured, turning your body to face him, “Nolan, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing,” He mumbled, turning to avoid your gaze once more. “Just had a rough day is all.”

You knew he and the team had been going through a bit of a rough patch. The team had been on a bit of a skid going into the upcoming holiday break. There was one more short road trip before Christmas and you could already tell Nolan was stressing about it. Not just because of the team’s performance, but because of his own personal struggles. The pounding migraines he had been dealing with for the better part of the season had become more frequent, causing him to miss playing in a few games here and there. The way to go about managing the migraines was somewhat of a mystery to team doctors and trainers. While they were doing their best to help Nolan, and he knew they were exhausting every option available, nothing seemed to be working and it seemed that Nolan was finally at his breaking point.

“Are you feeling okay?” You gently ask, your hand running soothingly across his bicep. When he just shrugged his shoulders once more, you gave a light, reassuring squeeze to his arm, smiling softly when his eyes met yours again.

“I feel fine right now,” He sighed, “But these things fucking come out of nowhere. Never know when they’re going to hit me.”

You nodded, wordlessly encouraging him to continue. He needed to vent, you sensed it, needed to let out all of the emotions he was feeling.

“I just…” He trailed off, his fingers running through his hair as he huffed out another breath. “What if this ends my career, (Y/N)? What if these things get so bad I won’t be able to play anymore? I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t…”

“Hey, hey, hold on a second,” You scooted up onto your knees, kneeling next to him on the couch. “You are going to be just fine, Nolan.”

“You don’t know that, (Y/N),” He bemoaned, “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.” You insisted, “I do because the whole organization is on your side. You have some of the best doctors in Philadelphia working with them to help you. They’re going to find something that makes this better for you.”

“But what if they don’t?” His voice increased slightly in volume as he sat up a little straighter, “What if there is nothing they can do for me and this team drops me? What if they see there is no use waiting around for me to get better?” He drags his fingers through his hair before holding his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. When he speaks again his voice comes out in a whisper. “What if they give up on me?”

The uncertainty and brokenness in his voice made your breath hitch in your throat. Moving closer to him you gently took his face into your hands and turned his head to face you, making him look you in the eye. 

“They will not give up on you, Nolan.” You spoke with gentle firmness. “I just don’t see that happening. You will get better and you will have an amazing career here. And can I tell you something else?”

You could see the desperation in his eyes as he nodded.

“I’m never giving up on you,” You whispered, “That I know for an absolute fact. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

He chuckled softly at your remark and you smiled, running one of your thumbs along his skin beneath it. His gaze softened as you continued to hold his face, your thumb still gently caressing his cheekbone. You couldn’t quite decipher the expression on his face but it made your stomach flip, made your heart rate pick up just a little bit. It was a feeling you never felt being this close to Nolan and it startled you. You swore you saw his eyes flicker to your lips but before you could process that thought, you dropped your hands to his shoulders, giving them a gentle couple of pats before moving back to your previous spot on the couch. “You want to grab something to eat? We can order in if you want?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” He stuttered, shaking his head as if he was trying to clear his mind. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Of course it does,” You teased, giving his shoulder a little nudge as you stood from your spot on the couch. “You never turn down food.”

“Busted.” He gave you a small smile as he watched you make your way into the kitchen. You stood at the counter, pulling out a to-go menu from your favorite restaurant and your phone, dialing the number to place the order. You couldn’t see it but as you talked on the phone, Nolan watched you intently. He watched the way you confidently spoke and how you paced around the kitchen, making small talk with the person who was taking the order. You couldn’t see the way he looked at you with complete adoration or feel the way his heart pounded in his chest when he heard you speak. You couldn’t see the smile that spread across his lips, a smile that only you could bring out of him. You also couldn’t hear the voice in his head beating him up over not pressing his lips to yours as you held his face in your hands. He didn’t understand where the intense urge came from at that moment, but he knew he so desperately wanted to know what your lips felt like against his own. 

“You alright over there, space cadet?” 

Your voice brought him out of a trance when you spoke to him. He blinked in quick succession, seemingly willing his brain to come back to reality before he gave a quick nod. “Yeah, I guess I kind of zoned out there for a second.”

“I’ll say,” You chuckled, returning to your spot on the couch, flopping down beside him. “The food should be here in about thirty minutes or so.”

“Sounds good.”

The rest of the night carried on as usual. You and Nolan finished your meals and fell into your normal routine of tv and conversations about literally anything. You tried to keep things light and fun, attempting to keep Nolan’s mind off of the struggles facing him and his team. The two of you bantered and laughed and carried on as you normally would for the remainder of the evening. Occasionally you found yourself staring a little longer at him as he watched whatever was on, studying the angles of his face in the flickering lights of the tv. You had always thought that his facial features gave him an angelic look, a juxtaposition to how he spoke and how he carried himself. You smiled, hunkering down further into the couch as you got more comfortable and got pulled into the television show. You eventually found yourself dozing off as a random Christmas movie played on the screen. You had laid yourself across the couch, your legs swung across Nolan’s lap. It wasn’t until you felt him gently tap your thigh that you realized you had fallen asleep.

“Hey,” You heard his low voice speak, “(Y/N), I think we should call it a night.”

You stretched as you slowly sat up, a soft groan escaping your lips. “What time is it?”

Nolan looked down at his phone, checking the time before looking back at you as he also stretched. “It’s just past eleven. I should go, got an early flight tomorrow.”

“Right,” You grumbled, “Okay. I’ll walk you out.”

He nodded and got up to stand in front of you, reaching his hands out for you to take. He gently pulled you up but even still, being the clumsy person you are, you stumbled forward slightly, hands pressing into his chest and his catching you at your waist. You looked up at him and found the same look in his eyes as earlier when he confided in you. That same feeling you had was creeping back in as well and you held his gaze for a moment longer than necessary. You quickly averted your eyes and cleared your throat, walking with him to your front door.

“Thank you for tonight, (Y/N).” Nolan leaned against the door frame, half in the outside hallway and half still in your apartment. 

“Anytime.” You grinned, “Always happy to be of service. Someone’s gotta feed you.”

He chuckled, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “So, uh, I’ll see you in a couple of days, yeah? Going to G and Ryanne’s for that party?”

“You know it.” You replied, “Have a safe flight, Nols. Text me when you guys get there.”

“Will do.” He saluted you before pushing off the door frame and turning to cross the hall to his apartment. You watched as he unlocked his door and opened it to head inside for the night. Just before he closed the door behind him, you called out to him.

“Hey, Nolan?” He turned to look at you, a questioning look in his eyes. 

“What’s up?”

You smiled softly, leaning your head against the threshold of your apartment. “I think you’re amazing. You know that, right?”

He leaned his forearm against his door frame and smiled. 

“I think you’re amazing, too.”

You smiled as you closed your door, leaning against it when it latched shut, and took a deep breath. Something in the air felt different and you couldn’t quite explain it. It made you nervous, anxious even, but you also couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips. Something felt different between you and Nolan and even though you couldn’t quite put your finger on it, you knew that everything had changed.

~

With the Flyers’ road trip winding down and it going in a way that wasn’t exactly favorable, you knew there was more than likely going to be a bit of a cloud over the holidays. The boys managed to sneak in one win out of the three games played but knowing them like you did, it wasn’t something they were going to tout as a success. You also knew, given your knowledge as to how his mind worked and the existing personal struggles he was facing, that Nolan would be extra critical of himself. He’d try and disguise it, not wanting to put a damper on the upcoming holiday festivities, but you knew him better than that. 

That is how you found yourself in his apartment yet again, only this time decorating it to fit the Christmas theme. You knew it was excessive, you knew it was over the top and ridiculous, but if it would bring any semblance of a smile to that boy’s face it was all worth the complaining he’d undoubtedly do when he walked into his apartment. You had managed to snag some Christmas decorations on the cheap, scouring bargain stores for everything from lights and garland and stockings to even a tree with accompanying ornaments. When you finally deemed your collection enough to decorate with, you let yourself into his apartment and put things in place little by little over the course of the weekend. The guys were slated to be home by early afternoon with the Christmas party at Claude and Ryanne’s later in the evening, allowing everyone a little bit of time to decompress then have a little bit of fun before heading to their respective homes for the holidays. 

Holiday music was filling the apartment, your soundtrack to your latest decorating endeavor. The cheesy gas fireplace in the living room served as the perfect spot to hang some lighted garland and the stockings. Fairy lights adorned every spot in which it was feasible to place them. There were even candles that were purchased, their scent matching the season but ultimately used for the ambiance they provided as well. Decorating the tree was saved until the very last moment. As you danced and sang to the sounds of Andy Williams and Bruce Springsteen, you methodically placed the red and gold ornaments on the tree. You even snuck a small Gritty ornament in the mix, making sure to give a nod to the mascot you knew Nolan loved and adored, hoping he’d find it and smile. As it all came together, you pulled out the last item to place on the tree, it’s topper. You loved how when the little star was placed at the top it felt like the finishing touch to it all, giving finality to all your hard work. You stood back a couple of feet from the tree and looked on in contentment, happy with how the decorations turned out. You chuckled to yourself, knowing that when Nolan walked into the room when he got home he’d instantly know who to blame for Christmas practically exploding in his space.

Admiring the room in its entirety one last time, you smiled once more to yourself, proud of what you were able to accomplish. You knew Nolan would be shocked, and probably bitch and moan about it, but in the end, he’d have a laugh and hopefully feel just a little bit of the holiday spirit. You blew out the candles, their scent lingering in the air, before heading back across the hallway to your apartment. It was nearly lunchtime, meaning you had more than enough time to clean up and get ready for the team Christmas party. You pulled out your phone, seeing you had received a text from Nolan saying he and the boys had just landed and would be back home soon.

You: Happy you guys made it back safely! I’ll be ready for G’s party around 6, that should be enough time for you to nap or whatever, right?

Nolan: Yeah sounds good to me.

The two of you exchanged just a few more texts before he needed to drive home. The extra time before the party allowed you to get a few house chores done before actually beginning to get ready. Not even an hour after your text exchange with him, your phone began to ring, Nolan’s name flashing across the display. You smiled broadly, already anticipating what his reaction to his newly decorated apartment would be.

“You’re supposed to be taking a nap, no?” You tried to hide the giggle threatening to bubble up, knowing exactly why he was calling you.

“Don’t you act like you don’t know exactly why I am calling you, (Y/N).” Nolan’s gravelly voice greeting your ear, “Why the fuck does it look like Christmas threw up in my apartment?”

“You don’t like it?” You feigned shock and hurt, “Come on, Nols, don’t be such a Grinch!”

“Ha, fucking, ha.” Nolan retorted, sarcasm dripping from his voice, “Seriously, you’ve outdone yourself. This is absolutely ridiculous.”

“Mission accomplished, then!” You cheered, “Now hang up the damn phone and take your nap! We have a party to go to tonight and I expect you to be my date.”

Nolan scoffed. “Oh, with this latest stunt I’m taking away your plus one status.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” You gasped, earning a hearty chuckle from Nolan. 

Of course, he never would. It would be like sucking the life out of the party leaving things so much more boring if you weren’t around. Having you at his side to these events and gatherings made it all worthwhile, even if you were just tagging along as his friend. “TK and Hayesy would never let me hear the end of it if I did. And you’d end up bugging me to go all the time anyway.”

It was your turn to laugh now. You know those boys liked to rib Nolan to no end about his relationship with you, asking when he’d ‘wife you up’ or why you spent all your time with a guy like Nolan. It was all in good fun, though. They were never malicious or had any ill will, in fact, they were just the opposite. You two would never know it but the guys on the team, and some of their significant others, were secretly waiting for the day the two of you would get together. Though you and Nolan both insisted your relationship was no more than a friendship, your friends were not convinced in the slightest. You’d both just shrug off the comments and jokes, nothing ever really bothering either of you. 

“Well, you can’t disappoint them then!” You teased, “Now seriously, get some beauty rest and pick me up at six.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He replied through his laughter.

“See you in a little bit, Nols.”

You said your goodbyes and continued with your day, doing the various chores you set out to finish and allowing yourself more than the usual time it took for you to get ready. After showering and picking out an outfit, something festive but not over the top, you sat at your vanity with your makeup spread out in front of you. You took your time, playing yet another Christmas playlist to help set the mood for the get together you’d be attending. Something about the music and festivities put you in a wonderful mood and made you even more excited to see everyone before they all headed back to their respective homes for the holidays. 

As you were putting on your earrings, the finishing touch to your look, your phone buzzed on the countertop as a text came through. You glanced down and saw that it was from Nolan, asking if you were finished getting ready.

Nolan: Your Uber is waiting for you outside the door.

You: Ew, that’s creepy. I didn’t think they did that. 

Nolan: Kidding of course. Can I come in?

You: As long as you aren’t the creepy Uber driver.

You smiled to yourself as you sprayed the last bit of hairspray in your hair and looked over your appearance once more. Satisfied with the finished look, you grabbed your purse and walked into your living room, just in time to see the front door open and for Nolan to walk through.

“Creepy Uber driver has arrived.” He called out as he shut the door behind him. At first, he didn’t notice you had walked into the living room, speaking louder than he normally would, but then his eyes landed on you and they seemed to widen as he took in your appearance. “Wow, (Y/N)..you look..”

“Do you think this is okay?” You asked, “I know they said casual but I didn’t want to just show up in what I normally wear so I-”

“Hey, you look great,” Nolan assured you, “I mean, I thought you’d be wearing one of those ugly Christmas sweaters given how you decorated my apartment so this is a nice surprise.”

You playfully smacked him in the chest before linking your arm with his. “Let’s get this show on the road.” 

The drive to the Giroux household was nothing short of typical for the two of you. There was the usual chirping from you about how Nolan was driving and the incessant moaning and groaning from him about the music you chose to play.

“Any time you’re on the AUX cord, no good music is played.” He complained, attempting and failing to take the cord from you as he drove.

“Nolan, we are on our way to a fucking Christmas party,” You said, “It would be sacrilege if we didn’t play any Christmas music! Now focus on driving before you kill us.”

He shook his head in defeat, chuckling softly at the small little victory dance you did in your seat as you played your music. Every now and then he’d steal a glance at you, watching as you happily sang and danced to every song that played. He’d never admit how much he actually enjoyed the cheesy holiday music, mostly because of the joy it brought you. Everything that made you happy made him happy. Seeing you smile made him smile. Every little thing you did for him, no matter how much he may have complained about it outwardly, made him feel like he was on top of the world. Sitting in the driver’s seat of his car, thinking these thoughts, feeling these feelings at this very moment made him come to a not so shocking realization. 

He was madly in love with you. He was so head over heels for you and it took his breath away. 

He took a deep breath, one that caused his chest and shoulders to rise and fall dramatically and you took notice. As he pulled the car into the drive, you raised an eyebrow at him and cocked your head to the side.

“You alright over there?”

He shifted the car into park and offered you a small smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

You gave him a beaming smile, unbuckling your seatbelt to get out of the car and head inside. “Come on, Mr. Grinch, let’s go see everyone.”

He watched as you climbed out of the passenger seat, shutting the door behind you, and walking up to the front door of the Giroux’s home. When he saw you turn to see if he was going to follow, mouthing a ‘Come on!’ as you waved, he sighed once more, climbing out of the car himself. That big, wide grin was still plastered on your face as he walked up beside you, you linking your arm with his once again. Looking down at you, seeing how excited you were as the two of you walked up to the door only solidified his earlier thoughts. He knew in this very moment that everything between you had changed.

~

The evening carried on at a relaxed pace, Claude and Ryanne being the wonderful hosts they always were. The guys with families brought their children along and the entire night was filled with plenty of laughs and entertainment. You always found yourself gravitating to the kiddos when they were involved. That’s how Nolan caught up with you after the two of you were separated for a little while. You were sitting and chatting with Ryanne, bouncing a happy little Gavin on your knee.

“How is it that you always manage to end up with the kids?” He asked you as he came to stand beside you. His finger lightly poked at Gavin’s belly making the toddler giggle excitedly. “What’s up, little man?”

You smiled up at him and bounced your knee, continuing Gavin’s giggles. “I can’t help it. He’s the cutest guy in the room.”

“Can’t argue with you there.” He replied, “Thanks for hosting all of us, Ryanne. It’s been fun, as always.”

“Oh, of course!” Ryanne smiled, “It’s a blast, we love having everyone here.”

Nolan turned back to you as he spoke again. “I was going to get something to drink, did you want me to grab you anything?”

“I’m okay, thanks.” You looked back at the giggling toddler still in your lap. “I just need a few more Gavin cuddles and I should be ready to go soon if you are.”

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded, “I’ll meet up with you in a little bit then, yeah?”

He gave your shoulder a light squeeze before making his way to the kitchen, seemingly making small talk with Kevin.

“He’s got it bad for you, girl.” Ryanne gushed when Nolan was out of earshot.

You felt your cheeks warm, butterflies running rampant in your tummy before brushing her comment aside. “You’re crazy. We’re just friends, Ry.”

“And I think you are lying to yourself.” She countered, “He’s a good guy, (Y/N).”

“I know that,” You agreed, “He’s my best friend, of course I know that.”

Ryanne just smiled, that ‘If you say so’ kind of look that she gives you every time this subject comes up. She, just like all your other friends, never pushed the envelope with you. She respected your boundaries but she was always one of your biggest cheerleaders. She was like how Claude was for his team except in her place in the WAGs group, really in the whole friends group entirely; the momma of the group. She would have your back no matter what and support you with no questions asked. 

“So tell me about how he reacted to your Christmas decorations.” She said, changing the subject, “Did he freak out over it?”

“Oh, god, it was hysterical.”

You indulged Ryanne in all the details of your decorating assault on Nolan’s apartment, telling her about how you almost lost your invitation to the evening’s festivities. The laughter you two shared echoed through the living room and into the kitchen, Nolan of course taking notice of your laughter specifically. He was leaning against the island that overlooked the living room, smiling at how much fun you seemed to be having in telling whatever story you were to Ryanne. He felt a pair of hands land heavily on his shoulders, a hard squeeze being given to both, before that all too familiar Boston accent filled his ears.

“Buddy, come on.” Kevin chuckled, “You have got to say something to that girl.”

Nolan turned to face his friend who had leaned on the island beside him. He attempted to give Kevin a nonchalant, playing it cool response and shrugged his shoulders. “What are you talking about? Tell her what?”

 “Don’t give me that shit, kid.” Kevin told him, “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Nolan sighed, one of his hands coming up to run down his face. There was really no point in trying to play it off anymore. Of everyone in this house, aside from Ryanne, Kevin knew exactly how Nolan felt about you. Though unlike Ryanne, Kevin wasn’t going to play games with Nolan. He had sat back for too long watching the both of you deny, deny, deny and he was ready to at least call Nolan on his bullshit.

“What, no smart ass comeback this time?” Kevin chuckled when Nolan didn’t respond. As he watched him for a second longer, he knew Nolan had recognized his own feelings. “Oh, shit, you do have feelings for her, don’t you?”

“Don’t act like you’re surprised.” Nolan retorted.

“I’m not surprised you have feelings for her, bud.” Kevin clarified, “I’m surprised you’ve finally admitted it. Took ya long enough!”

Again, Nolan sighed, this time in annoyance. “Well, keep it down, you big idiot. I don’t need to spring any surprises on her like this.”

Kevin just laughed, taking a swig of the beer he was nursing. He watched as Nolan turned his attention back to where you were still chatting with Ryanne. He could tell just by the way Nolan was looking at you that he had it bad, just like Ryanne had told you earlier. One of his hands came up to Nolan’s shoulder once more, gaining his attention once more.

“Can I tell you something without you getting defensive on me?”

Nolan raised an eyebrow. “That depends on what comes out of your mouth.”

“Fair enough,” Kevin chuckled, “In all seriousness though, Patty, that girl loves you too. I’m just sayin’.”

“How do you know that?” Nolan scoffed, “I didn’t even say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.” Kevin grinned, taking another sip of his beer. “But I have a feeling that if you told her how you felt, I’d be right.”

Nolan looked back at you once more just as you were finishing your conversation with Ryanne. You caught his eye and smiled that big, beautiful smile he loved so much as you stood to walk over to him. Kevin gave him one last pat on the back as you made your way to where they were standing.

“Ready to go, Nols?” You asked, tucking into his side.

He nodded, turning back to Kevin to give him the handshake-hug hybrid thing that men like to do. 

“Remember what I said,” Kevin told him before turning to you and pulling you into a hug. “Have a good night, sweetheart. Don’t let this guy give you any trouble.”

“I know who to come running to if he does,” You laughed, “See you around, Kev.”

You and Nolan said goodbye to the remaining partygoers before heading back out to his car. Per your usual, you snagged the auxiliary cord before Nolan could reach for it, expecting a fight out of him like always. When he did nothing but chuckle at your antics you got your first clue that something was going on in his head. You let it go, however, chalking it up to you just reading too far into his actions. But when the car ride back to your shared complex was quieter than normal, no words being exchanged between the two of you, you knew for sure something was up. You turned the volume on the car stereo down and turned in your seat as best you could to look at him.

“You okay, Nolan?” 

He glanced over at you, still trying to keep his eyes on the road. “Yeah, I’m good. Why what’s up?”

“You’re just quieter than normal,” You replied, “Are you feeling okay?”

“Just tired is all,” He mumbled, reaching across the console and taking your hand in his and giving it a squeeze, “I’m good though.”

He didn’t let go of your hand. Even after he stopped talking he didn’t let go of your hand. You tried not to outwardly show how you were feeling on the inside. Your heart rate jumped, feeling like it was beating rapidly in your throat. You felt your face get hot and you were thankful that it was dark out, only street lights illuminating your face as Nolan drove. You tried to calm yourself as Nolan pulled the car back into his usual spot back at the complex parking garage. The two of you walked into your building, your hand still burning from his touch. The silence between you two remained but it wasn’t uncomfortable. You could understand why Nolan would be tired, having flown back home and attending a Christmas party all in the same day. As you went to pull out your keys, Nolan stopped you, nodding toward his apartment door.

“You want to come in for a little bit?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck like he was nervous.

“Y-yeah,” You stammered, not sure where the sudden nervous energy was coming from, “Sure. That should be fine.”

He gave you a small smile before unlocking his door, letting you walk in first before closing the door behind him. You took off your shoes, leaving them by the front door, and removed your coat and scarf, draping them over one of the barstools at the kitchen counter. The only light in the apartment was that of the lights you used to decorate with. When Nolan went to turn on one of the lamps you stopped him.

“This is the best way to enjoy the Christmas lights,” You told him, “Come look at the tree with me, please?”

Nolan gave you a small nod and came to stand beside you. The lights gave off a soft, warm white glow and you smiled as you admired your handiwork. “Did you notice that I hid Gritty in there?”

You heard Nolan chuckle softly before replying. “Yeah, I did. He really makes the tree.”

You giggled, nudging his hip with your own. He smiled back at you, watching as you continued to look over the tree. He knew you were proud of the work you had done and that warmed his heart. He also couldn’t help looking at how beautiful your face looked lit up by nothing but the soft glow of Christmas lights. His gaze lingered for a while and when you felt it, you turned so your body was facing him, giving a puzzled look.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. Just…” He shook his head, looking down at the ground before his eyes met yours. “Thank you.”

“For what?” You questioned, your head cocking slightly. 

“For everything.” He murmured, his fingers coming up to brush your hair behind your ear. “For being my friend, taking care of me. For being you.”

“Nolan, you don’t have to thank me…” 

“I know,” He insisted, the hand that came up to your face lingering just a little longer, not yet dropping back to his side. “I know I don’t but I want to.”

“Nolan…” 

“I also want to do one more thing.”

Before you could even process a response, he was stepping closer to you and his other hand joined the first in cupping your cheeks and tilting your head upward, his lips pressing to yours in a gentle but sure kiss. You gasped softly, your eyes a small noise of surprise escaping you and your hands clasped around his wrists. His kiss was soft, gentle enough to not scare you away but it wasn’t tentative. You knew without a doubt that this was something Nolan was sure of and with just a second’s hesitation as you regained your bearings, you kissed him back, and as you did so Nolan sighed into the kiss, relief flooding him. Your eyes fluttered shut, throwing yourself into the moment. You kissed him back with the same gentle urgency, allowing his tongue to tangle with yours when you felt it trace your bottom lip. You don’t know how long the two of you kissed. Eventually, the urgency calmed and you fell into slow, languid movements until you both needed to come up for air. Your eyes remained closed for a moment longer as you felt Nolan’s forehead rest gently on yours. When you opened them once more, you were met with the ocean blue eyes that, though at the time you hadn’t realized it, you fell in love with the moment you saw them. Your hands were still clasped around his wrists, thumbs brushing the tops of his hands as you smiled up at him before he broke the silence first.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.” 

You giggled softly, letting go of his wrists and pushing up onto your tiptoes so you could wrap your arms around his neck. “That was nice.”

Nolan chuckled, his hands dropping to your waist. “I’ve had feelings for you I think from the start.”

“Oh is that what that means?” You teased, giving his nose a quick peck. “I thought it was just a ‘thank you for decorating my apartment, (Y/N)’.”

He gently squeezed your sides, eliciting a surprised squeak from you. That soft smile of his graced his face once more before he spoke again. “I’m serious. I think that maybe… I think I’ve loved you for a long time now.”

“You love me?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” He replied, his hand rubbing your sides, “Yeah, I love you.”

You grinned from ear to ear, Nolan’s smile almost matching yours before you pushed your lips to his again, loving how they felt on your own. You were nearly breathless when you pulled away again, speaking in a hushed tone. “Good, because this would have been so fucking weird if this was just your way of saying thank you.”

Nolan quirked an eyebrow, his little smirk spreading across his lips. “So it’s not weird?”

“No, you idiot,” You giggled, “Because I love you, too.”

He pulled you into one more kiss, this one just as slow and gentle as the very first. You couldn’t describe the happiness that was flowing through your veins, but you did know one thing. It was there, in the ridiculously decorated living room of his apartment, beneath the warm glow of Christmas lights, that everything had changed.

[narutogwriting]

Wildest Dreams

Pairing: Sasuke Uchiha x Reader

CW: mild nsfw; angst

Length: 2.5k+

Inspired by “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

You can feel his breath on the back of your neck as you stand motionless. The moonlight spills in through the window, lighting up the otherwise dark room. You’re holding your breath, afraid to move, afraid to make a sound. You don’t want to break the spell, worried that this is all a dream.

His hands brush through your hair, gathering the strands to move them over one shoulder, exposing the back of your neck to him. Your eyes flutter closed as his lips begin to press light, open mouthed kisses to the bare skin. His hands pull your hair, tilting your head to the side and revealing more of your neck. The other hand trails down your arm which is pinned close to your side. His fingers gliding over you brings goosebumps to the skin.

If this was wrong, you didn’t care. If this made you a traitor, you would gladly spend a lifetime on the run if it meant you could spend every night like this. You knew that you would have to wake up soon. This could only happen in your wildest dreams. But somehow, it was reality.

~

You weren’t supposed to be alone. Teams were put together even on the simplest missions for a reason. The world was a dangerous, unsafe place, and outside the perimeters of a village, anything could happen.

But you had never seen the ocean before. In all of your years as a ninja, none of your missions had brought you to the shore. So when you were sent to help a beachside town, you didn’t want to leave. All you wanted was to feel the sand in between your toes and breathe the salt air into your lungs. Reluctantly, your teammates agreed to head back home without you. You would only be a day or two, after all.

The small town was full of cute little boutiques with seashell necklaces and beachy dresses. You couldn’t help but to buy something, wanting to live out the romantic picture you had in your head. In a white maxi dress with a slit up the side and tiny starfish earrings, you headed to the shore.

The sun was beginning to set, and you’d never seen a more beautiful sight. Reflecting off the waves were the most radiant pinks and oranges you’d ever seen in your life. It was blinding, and the line where the sky met the sea gave you the feeling that you were being called to something more.

You could have stayed there forever. You wanted to. Maybe you should. Leave the leaf, put the shinobi way of life behind you and spend the rest of your days with your feet in the sand and saltwater in your hair.

It was only out of the corner of your eye that you noticed another figure arriving on the beach, standing a ways away from you, taking in the vision like you were. You wondered what that person was thinking and feeling, if they were in awe of the natural beauty the way you were. Did the vastness of the sea make everything in their life seem small the way it did yours?

You’d always been a dreamer, lost in your own head. You longed for someone who saw the things you saw, and thought the things you did. It was a bad habit you’d picked up, projecting your own fantasies onto others, but you couldn’t help it. You were desperate for the type of connection that made everything else fall into place.

On a whim, you turned to look at the person. You weren’t going to talk to them, not wanting to break the magical spell the scene had placed on you. It was simple curiosity, wanting to know who you shared this special moment with.

Nothing could have prepared you for who it was you saw. 

~

After an eternity, his lips detach themselves from your neck. Both hands holding your arms, he turns you slowly to face him. You have to tilt your head back to look at him; he was so much taller now than he had been last time you saw him. Shakily, your hands move to touch him in a way you never thought you would.

You place a hand against his chest, feeling the firm muscles underneath your fingertips. He wasn’t a boy anymore, and neither were you a little girl. His black hair still stood out shockingly against his pale skin, but those normally cold dark eyes were alight, staring into yours, burning with something you’d never seen before. 

His hand reached up, caressing your cheek with a softness you didn’t know he was capable of, gaze so intense you thought you would buckle under it. Butterflies erupted in your stomach, fluttering up into your throat, choking you with something you didn’t have a name for. The adrenaline they brought sent signals to your brain, screaming for you to run.

But it was already too late. He was a lion, and you were the prey. You would gladly let him devour you whole.

~

You were a sight for sore eyes, the relief at having some kind of familiarity shocking him. It had been so long since he’d been home, and he never missed it. He’d done everything he could to sever all his ties to the Leaf, and he never thought of it at all anymore.

So the leap in his chest at seeing you after so many years was almost overwhelming for him. How long had it been since he’d last felt anything other than apathy? That was what he’d been wondering as he’d stared into the sinking sun, watching as the light shined off the water like diamonds.

Sometimes, when he looked at something so big, something that seemed so infinite like the ocean, it made him--all of his hate and aspirations--feel small and meaningless. Sometimes it made him wonder if he could just shrink, disappear into nothingness and leave it all behind. The hurt, the anger, the hatred. But who was he without those feelings?

And then there was you, standing there like a vision, as if you were the answer to all his unsaid prayers. Had this been any other time, any other moment, he probably wouldn’t have felt this way. His walls would have been up. He wouldn’t have paid you a second look. He couldn’t afford to.

But that was what made the whole thing seem so serendipitous. You were there at the exact right time, the time when his guard was down, and he was searching for some kind of answer.

You looked like an angel standing in your white dress, and the sunset reflecting in your eyes looked like a fire burning within you. He wanted to touch your rosey cheeks, press his lips against your red ones. It was a vision he would keep in his mind long after he’d left you behind.

~

“No one has to know,” You whisper. Your foreheads are pressed together, your lips but a centimeter apart. You both agree; it’ll be a secret between the two of you, a memory that you’ll tuck away in the very back of your mind. One you’ll only remember in the dead of night while everyone else is asleep.

His hands go to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands. He lets the soft curls run through his fingers a few times, and a blissful sigh leaves your lips at the gentle touch. Then, suddenly, his fingers are tightening at the nape of your neck. You gasp at the roughness, though it comes out as a broken moan. He pulls your head back by your hair, staring down at you with lust in his eyes.

You reach for him with shaky hands, pulling at the tie on his robe, pushing the cloak off his shoulders. It falls to the floor, leaving his upper body bare, and your eyes take in every inch of him.

The want is clear on your face, and you are putty in his hands. You know it, and so does he. It should be scary, being so vulnerable with someone, being so willing to please. But you know he isn’t going to take advantage of you. He’s not going to hurt you. At least not in any way that you won’t let him.

~

You hear your name leave his lips, and the sound is so familiar. You’d played his voice in your head a million times over the years, but it’d been starting to fade. You hadn’t wanted to lose his voice, and now you were sure you never would. You could never forget the way your name sounded coming from his lips.

A part of you is almost surprised he even recognized you. It had been a long time, afterall, and you doubted that he had ever thought of you much. You were never one of his screaming girls, just a silent fan watching him from the sidelines, wanting him to succeed. You always wished you would be the one to break through his defenses, but your attempts had only ever left you bruised. 

But he’s looking at you, and you think he sees you. He really sees you, and it leaves you weightless, breathless, nothing else in the world exists or matters. It doesn’t make sense, that he’s here, that he knows you, that he’s talking to you. It’s like something you dreamed up, but he’s here, and this is really happening.

~

You wonder if he’ll remember this the same way you will, if he’ll look back on tonight as a pivotal moment in his life the way. Here, in this inn room, is a liminal space. You can’t stay here with him, as much as you may want to. You must cross over, make a decision, some kind of move. In this room, you are leaving something behind, but not fully where you are going.

Nothing lasts forever, but for now you can stay, and you can remember. 

“Say you’ll remember me.”

The words come out as a desperate moan as you grasp your hands in his hair. He’s sucking bruises into your skin, barely containing himself. Your clothes are on a pile on the floor somewhere, mixed with his own. The two of you are tangled in each other; you don’t know where you start or where he ends. 

He hums against you, letting you know he heard you. You want to hear him say it, but you’re too caught up in the pleasure to really care. His fingers are pumping into you insistently, becoming more and more impatient. You can feel him hard as he presses against you, eager. Needy.

Finally, he pulls back from you, you both are panting are, trying to catch your breath. You stare up at him, searching. His eyes meet yours, and they’re no longer dark as night; they’re red as blood, and you’re hypnotized, totally caught up in him. 

“I’ll remember.”

And then his lips are on yours, and he’s pressing inside you, and it burns so good you think you’ll lose your mind. You think you must be making noise because how could you stay quiet when there’s so much pleasure, but anything coming out of your mouth is swallowed up by his. 

You’re arching into him, desperate, and he’s holding you to his body so tightly it’s like he’s afraid you’re going to disappear at any moment. Your name is tumbling continuously from his lips and it sounds like a poem you could spend a lifetime listening to. You know there is only tonight, but you can let yourself dream.

On the bed, on the counter, against the wall. He takes you on every surface he can manage, bucking into you wildly, and you think this must be the most out of control he’s ever been in his life, and the fact that it’s because of you has your head reeling. You’ve never wanted something so bad in your entire existence. 

Your mouths are pressed together, your tongues clashing. He hooks your leg over his shoulder and he presses into you so completely your head spins, and you’re convulsing around him, screaming his name desperately.

More.

More. 

More.

You need more.

The room is spinning, you think you’re still crying out, and his movements haven’t stopped or even slowed. 

You feel like you could pass out then and there, but you force your eyes open, wanting to take in every movement, every inch of him, and you realize he’s doing the same. His eyes haven’t left you once, and it’s overwhelming, the intensity of his gaze. 

“Say my name.” 

He’s commanding you and begging you all at once, and you have no choice but to comply. Saying his name feels like the answer to your prayer.

And then he’s cuming, hips stuttering into yours as he spills inside of you. He continues to rock into you as he rides through his high, lips smashed harshly against yours. You never want him to stop, but eventually he does, stilling inside of you.

He’s propping himself up by his elbows, barely, breathing hard as he looks at you. You’re both caught in the dream. You never want to wake up.

And you definitely don’t want to ruin this, but you can’t help yourself. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair as you force out the words, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Will I see you again?”

You both know the answer. You are two very different people on two very different paths. You can’t ask him to stay anymore than he can ask you to leave, and you both know this.

But it’s like an unspoken agreement. It’s okay to pretend that, yes, you will see each other again, that no, this isn’t the end. So he says it, says yes. He will see you again. 

So you spend the rest of the night pretending. In between every kiss, every touch, you talk about the ways things might have been and then you ride him desperately, or he takes you from behind, and as you catch your breaths, you continue to pretend.

You spend all the dark hours tangled up in each other.

~

You’re gone the next morning before he wakes. You had to be. You knew you couldn’t survive it, seeing him leave you. You had to be the one to go.

By now you couldn’t smell the sea salt or feel the ocean breeze on your skin. You were too far gone, moving quicker than you usually would. The faster you got home, the faster you left it all behind you, a distant memory.

Part of you wished you had stayed, at least said goodbye. But you knew you couldn’t. The night had ended on a high. Anything else would have shattered the spell he had cast on you.

~

He sat up, alone in the inn room. Sunlight was just starting to spill through the blinds as he shrugged his robe back over his shoulders. He made a move to leave, but a small note on the nightstand caught his eye. He picked it up, examining the neat, cursive print.

see you in my wildest dreams

[nejibaby]

Daylight

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Y/N

Summary: You’ve been keeping things from Ace, but it takes a reoccurring nightmare to finally make you tell him.

Word Count: 3.6k

Daylight - Part 1 | Afterglow - Part 2

Loosely based on: Taylor Swift’s Lover album (but mostly about the song Daylight)

A/N: First of all, I just want to say there’s going to be a part 2 😌 Secondly, I’m sorry if this is angsty again 😫 Lastly, I wanted to give the reader some depth so there’s a backstory, I’m sorry if it doesn’t feel like a reader-insert. I tried my best... Please let me know your thoughts~

You wake up with a jolt, sweat forming on your forehead, heart beating significantly faster than usual, and tears threatening to fall from your eyes. The scenes from your nightmare are replaying in your mind.

The thing is you know it would be easier to tell yourself it was just a simple nightmare if your mind came up with those scenarios, however, that isn’t the case. The nightmares you get are often about the experiences you had to live through in the past. While you try to keep them buried, it resurfaces at the most unexpected days.

You take a few shaky breaths to calm yourself down, but that doesn’t really work out for you. Your room that was once a safe haven for you now feels like a suffocating cage. So you decide to get up and leave your room rather hastily.

You find yourself on the deck of Moby Dick, leaning on the railings and taking in the sight of the sun slowly ascending the sky. Only then are you able to breathe normally. However, it only takes ten minutes of silence alone before a sleepy figure breaks it.

“Y/N?” Ace yawns. “Baby, what are you doing here? Come back to bed with me,” he says as he rubs his eye.

You remain silent as you continue to look at the horizon. Ace frowns at your lack of response. He situates himself beside you, mimicking your stance. When he looks over at you, he instantly notices your red, teary eyes. “Did you… did you have a nightmare again?” He asks softly.

You’ve had a lot of nights that have been interrupted by your nightmares since you’ve been welcomed in this ship. He’s actually the first person to know about your nightmares, because his room used to be right beside yours and he’s heard your whimpers and wails. He doesn’t exactly know what your nightmares are, just that you have them. Nonetheless, he’s the first one to offer comfort to you, which must’ve been the reason you fell in love with him in the first place. But ever since you started sharing the same bed with him, the nightmares stopped coming altogether, except for today.

The genuine concern in his voice instantly makes you feel warm. You let yourself look at the rising sun a few more seconds before you direct your gaze to Ace, knowing full well that you won’t want to look at anything else once you settle your eyes on him. More precisely, you couldn’t actually look away from him.

The sun hits him in a certain way that makes him look amazing. Your breath almost hitched at the sight of him, but the worried look he gives you reminds you of your troubles.

“Ace…” your voice unexpectedly cracks. “I…”

His eyes widen in alertness, “Are you okay? No, don’t answer that, that’s a dumb question.” He cups your cheeks and kisses your forehead before asking, “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to, but if you do, I’ll listen—”

You cut him off by saying, “I want to… I have to tell you this… But it’s… I just...” you release a shaky breath, “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you.”

His breath hitches. A thousand questions fill his mind in an instant. Did you do something wrong? Did you finally realize he wasn’t worthy of your attention? Did you cheat on him? Why did you look so guilty?

You can see the panic on his face and you immediately decide it wasn’t something that you want Ace to feel, especially if it was because of you.

You close your eyes and try to even out your breathing. “Ace… I… I felt like I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night.” It unintentionally comes out as a whimper.

The panic on his face is replaced by surprise. You never really talked about your problems to him before and he never really prodded. The strain in your voice causes him to feel an ache in his chest. “Baby, I’m telling you you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to or if you aren’t ready—”

“...but now I see daylight.” You look at him straight in his eyes as you finish your sentence after he interrupted you. “I only see daylight.”

Ace takes a few seconds to process your words and then he releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A smile makes its way into his face. “That’s good.”

You remain silent for a while, thinking of how to say what you want to say. You’ve kept your past far too long from Ace and he deserves to know you in your entirety, even if it could possibly end your relationship. But your thoughts were so messy so you say the first thing that popped into your mind, “You know… when you found me in the shipwreck, I was ready to die then and there.”

He shakes his head. “I’m glad I found you on time. Marco told me if I’ve been a few hours late, you would’ve died.”

“The crew…” your voice cracks again.

“It must’ve been hard on you. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t want to open your past wounds,” Ace interjects as he rubs your arms in a comforting manner.

“I was the one who killed them,” you say, tears forming in your eyes again.

Ace halts his movements at your declaration.

When he got to you, all your crew members were dead and you were heavily injured as well, so he assumed it was because some other pirates attacked your ship. He didn’t know that it was you who caused that destruction.

You finally let your tears fall as guilt creeps inside you like a long lost friend. “They were evil. I know they sheltered me, fed me, and I should be grateful, but they were evil. They killed and murdered for fun. They stole even from the poor. They terrorized villages.” You cry, “I can’t… I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear with—”

“Ssshhh. It’s over now…” Ace hugs you tightly.

You immediately melt into his embrace. He stays silent after that and you do too.

This wasn’t the only thing you are keeping from Ace though. You have yet to drop the biggest news about yourself.

Was Ace going to stay with you if you told him your identity? The question echoes in your mind.

Maybe you’re foolish to think that this could work out.

You start to feel queasy. This feeling brought you back memories of your most important conversation with Pops.

It was the day that he asked you to join the crew, or as he worded it, “family”, after you had healed from your injuries. You remember telling him he shouldn’t openly welcome someone like you.

You weren’t even sure if he had heard about you and your deeds, but knowing how fast news of that spectrum could spread and his status as a Yonko, you assumed he did but if he did, you wondered why he still insisted you join them.

And then he claimed that you’re too young to be left alone. When he said that matter-of-factly without a trace of malice, you almost gave in and joined on the spot, but you stopped yourself. You didn’t want to burden them with the dangers that come with you, especially because they took care of you until you fully healed. So instead, you just said you were going to think about his offer.

A week later, you found yourself knocking on Whitebeard’s door with the intent of talking to him. Then the next thing you knew, you were confiding in him. You told him who you are, what you’ve done, and why you’ve done them. It was the first time you’ve ever bared yourself to someone.

You expected him to give you a look of disgust or of anger, but he didn’t. Sure, it took a few minutes for him to process everything you’ve said but in the end, he looked like he was unfazed by your revelation. It was then that you asked him if he would still have you knowing who you were. He didn’t even think twice as he said, “You’re part of the family ever since my son brought you here.”

You remember feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder because of Pops. He and the rest of the crew treated you as if you were their own blood, but also so much better than that, considering you had an awful relationship with your biological parents.

You start to wonder if Ace would react the same way. So far, he’s being gentle with you like he usually is. But what you’ve told him was only a portion of your story. It wasn’t the cause of your nightmares, although it might be an effect of it.

There’s a possibility that he wouldn’t accept you for who you truly are and it scares you. This fear gnaws at you. The fear of being left almost overpowers your desire to tell Ace everything, but you fight it with all your might. He deserves to know you, wholly. And if he doesn’t want to be with you after this, it was understandable. You wouldn’t hold this against him.

You gather the last bits of courage you have left and pull away from him. You wipe the tears from your eyes.

Ace reads your face. It’s easy to tell that you wanted to say more. He can see the determination in your eyes. So he waits patiently for you to talk.

“Do you know why my bounty is so high?” You ask.

“I think I heard Marco and Thatch talk about something… Hm…” he scratches his chin as he thinks. “Ah! I heard them say that they read in the newspaper that you killed a Celestial Dragon.”

You purse your lips. So he does know…

“Is that what bothers you?” He asks but you remain silent so he continues, “I’m sure you had your reasons. You aren’t the type to do anything just because. Hell, you don’t even follow my orders as your Commander when you think it’s unreasonable.” He chuckles. “They’re scums anyway, especially those Celestial Dragons.”

He’s waiting for you to crack a smile or verbally respond but it takes a minute and then two, you still haven’t said a word. You’re looking at him but your eyes are unfocused and glazed. He starts to worry about you. There must be something deeper behind the death of that Celestial Dragon.

Sometimes it’s hard for Ace to find the right words to say, just like this time. He’s aware you’re bothered or anxious about something, but he doesn’t know what it is about. You aren’t exactly confirming or denying his assumptions, and he doesn’t want to pressure you into talking about it. But… how is he supposed to say the right thing to comfort you when he doesn’t know what it is that bothers you?

However, there’s one thing he’s sure about, and that is his desire to protect you, to shield you from the cruel world.

He wants to erase the sadness that is overwhelming you. He simply can’t stand seeing you in pain.

For now, words fail him so he resorts to actions. He takes you in his arms once again. He tucks your head into his chest and rubs soothing circles on your back. He kisses the crown of your head and lets you know he’s there.

It doesn’t take long for you to break free from his grasps. You take a step back. But you think it wasn’t enough so you take two steps more. This confuses Ace, but you know it’s better this way. “I… killed two Celestial Dragons,” you correct him.

Ace nods his head.

“They are…” you shake your head, “They were… my parents.”

He tenses from your declaration.

“I am— I was a Celestial Dragon.” You mumble. Before you lose your courage entirely, you quickly tell him about everything.

You tell him about how as a child, you didn’t think much of your status and your actions. You acted accordingly as a Celestial Dragon, that was how you were raised after all; as a person who didn’t pay any thought to another person besides yourself.

That was, until you became friends with one of your slaves who was around your age. “She was really nice to me. She was one of the few people brave enough to talk to me. But we only talked when we were inside the comfort of my room without my parents watching, knowing they disliked it when slaves talked. Because of her, I realized how lonely I actually was. The only people I got to interact with during those days were my parents, their Celestial Dragon friends who visited once in a while, and the slaves  because I wasn’t allowed to go out of our home until I was nine years old. So she was a really good company for me. She talked about the life in the villages she went to and all types of people she met. It’s funny because she even taught me manners,” you smile at the memory of her, albeit momentarily. “Every story she told was so interesting and every day I found myself wanting to visit the places she described, and to experience what she did before she became a slave.

“But one day, my parents found us talking and playing together… And they deemed it horrific for a slave to act that way with me.” You clench your fists as the memories come crashing down on you. “So they killed her… in front of me. And I couldn’t do anything to save my only friend.”

It’s their fault for thinking they could act like that towards you. We’re gods, they’re merely humans. You could almost hear the words your father spouted that day.

Ace is listening closely to you, but he has that faraway look on his face. You aren’t sure if he’s picturing the scenarios you told him about or if he’s remembering an awful memory of his own involving Celestial Dragons. Either way, you can tell from his face his distaste.

There is so much more to say though, so you continue, “That kinda put things into perspective for me. It made me resent my parents, their way of living, and the way they raised me. It opened my eyes to how cruel and horrible every Celestial Dragons were. It made me wonder how many lines have I crossed unforgiven… And I just drifted apart from them.

“I was upset and angry about everything but I didn’t know what to do about it so I kept myself locked up in my room. My shitty parents thought getting a new slave my age would make me feel better so they did just that, but that didn’t change the way I saw my parents.

“Be that as it may, I started getting out of my room again, afraid of what they would do if they thought the new slave wouldn’t be of any benefit. In the end, I befriended her, although she was way more timid than my first friend and she was always scared to drop her guard. This time though, I was more careful when interacting with her. But she was the only one I could protect from the ton of slaves my parents had and it just… It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

“For years I couldn’t do anything more. And the longer I stayed under their roof and the more I saw of them treating humans as awful creatures, the angrier I got until I just snapped. And I...” your voice cracks once again.

“You killed them.” Ace finishes the sentence for you.

You nod your head meekly. “The way out of Mary Geoise was tricky because I wanted to bring as many slaves as I could so they could be freed. Somehow I managed to do just that. I parted with them at Sabaody, but... I heard some of them got recaptured,” you weep. It broke your heart; you tried your best to give them back their freedom but it was short-lived for some. You hate the fact that you gave them a small flicker of light— of hope— only to have it extinguished within moments.

You fall silent as you remember how there was nothing you could do back then because you had to run away too. You were aware that it was only a matter of days before the Nobles would learn of your crime and have someone from Cipher Pol or maybe an Admiral come after you.

“Maybe… Maybe I should have ended the bloodline then and there…” you mumble. “I remember thinking, no, hoping, that it would be Aokiji-san who would be sent after me. At least then, if I was to be executed, it would be in the hands of someone who was at least nice to me. But that was selfish, and for all the sins my family and my descendants committed, I cannot afford to be selfish.

“But then again, wanting to live is also selfish,” you chuckle humorlessly. “I tried to reason to myself that I should live just to make sure no one suffers the same fate as the slaves, but I haven’t been doing a particularly great job at that, considering I wounded the good and trusted the wicked when I got mixed up with Morganeer pirates.” You look away from Ace momentarily as you let your tears fall once again.

The tears have fogged your mind and you find yourself not wanting to say anything more. You take a quick peek at the man in front of you. He looks tense, rigid. He doesn’t speak nor look back at you. His face is void of any emotion. Somehow he doesn’t look like himself; he doesn’t look like the goofy, sweet Ace who fell in love with you. And perhaps it’s all your fault.

Observing the man who holds your heart, you realize that he too doesn’t have anything to say. Maybe you should tell him that you’re going to give him time to process things alone, but words died on your throat the minute you started crying again. So instead of bidding him a goodbye or even a “See you later” or waiting for him to tell you to leave, you run.

Maybe that’s the only thing you’re really, truly good at.

For the rest of the day, you stay in your room. Once in a while someone would knock to ask if you’re alright, but it’s never Ace, so you lie and say you’re fine. No one seems to question you after you say that but you can tell from their faces they don’t believe you.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner comes and goes but you still haven’t left your room, let alone your bed. You haven’t touched the food that Thatch left you too, and it makes you feel bad but you have no appetite at all and you’re feeling quite nauseous.

You wait until the ship grows silent as the crew starts to get ready for bed. When you’re sure that most of them have been lulled to sleep by the calm sea, you get out of your room and head to Pops. You haven’t even knocked on his door yet but he already tells you to come in.

As soon as you close the door, he asks why you haven’t gone out of your room the whole day. You inform him, and he nods in understanding. “Do you want me to talk to him or beat him up or something?” He asks.

You shake your head, “Can I… Can I depart tonight?”

“Where to?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet…” you tell him earnestly.

He gives you a look, as if saying, “Do you really think I’d allow you if you aren’t sure what you’re going to do?”

“It’s just that… Its anniversary is coming up and I don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.”

He laughs, “You aren’t going to be able to bring my children down.”

“I know,” you smile briefly. “But... I don’t want to cause anyone any trouble in case something happens…”

He sighs, “Okay, but bring—”

“No, I want to be alone.”

For the first time in a while, you see Pops frowning. It’s evident that he didn’t want you to be alone, it’s far too dangerous for you.

You understand where he’s coming from but you need time for yourself, and Ace needs time without you too. So to convince him, you hand him your vivre card and a Den Den Mushi. You didn’t have to tell him anything more, the pieces of items speak for themselves. It’s for him to know that you’re safe and you’ll be safe.

He looks at you solemnly, but nods anyway. It comes to a surprise to you when he pulls you into his embrace. He whispers, “Be safe, my child, and come back home soon to us.”

You nod with tears in your eyes. Pops has always been nice to you, even when you know you don’t deserve it, so leaving is hard for you. Although you’re both hoping you’d come back, you both know it’s not going to be easy. The seas aren’t as forgiving as humans, after all.

“Thank you, Pops,” you tell him as you break free from his embrace.

When you’ve boarded your boat, you take one last look at Moby Dick and think, “It was nice finally seeing the daylight because of Ace, but perhaps it was time to go back to sleep and face the nightmares instead of running from them.”

[broadstflyers]

A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first ever fic! It's really just an idea I've had for months, and then wrote, and then couldn't figure out which hockey boy it fit, until some mutuals were kind enough to help. I settled on our boy Barzy! It's inspired by Taylor Swift's "Gold Rush", and I really wanted to do my best in reflecting the beautiful imagery this story creates for me. I hope I did it justice. It's a little terrifying putting my writing out there, but I hope people enjoy it!

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: Two curse words, it's really just internal conflict within the reader

Summary: You're celebrating your dad's 50th birthday with some friends and family at a dinner party. You happen to land your eyes on a beautiful stranger, who you can't seem to get out of your head. You spend the rest of the night wondering, should you go up to him?

Or do you let him walk out the door?

___________

They say when you first lay eyes on your soulmate, time stands completely still. As you gaze into their eyes, it feels as though you’ve known them for multiple lifetimes. It feels like home. Is that even remotely true?

You start to take a sip of your drink and turn your head slightly to take in your surroundings. Your eyes dance around the room, until they stumble upon another pair of wondering eyes. Your eyes lock, and you’re instantly sucked into the mysterious yet intriguing twinkling grey-blue color that compliments his navy blue suit. Suddenly, your breath hitches in your throat, every part of your body stiffens, except for your lips that part slightly and eyes that widen. The drink is long forgotten, you’re even struggling to keep it from practically falling out of your hands and onto the wooden floor. The party is now just a blur, the noise? What noise? The world is muffled, as if someone stuck your head into a hundred pillows. Images stream through your mind like an endless movie reel wrapped in shimmery gold. Endless laughter on a first date over coffee. Him rubbing the back of your hand as you take a stroll through the park. Holiday mornings, exchanging gifts. Would he participate in the tradition of opening small gifts first, or would he want the biggest gift right off the bat? Ice skating and him catching you as you stumble on a pesky track in the ice. Him tossing you into the pool while you’re trying to put up a fight in a losing battle. A sweet and quiet proposal where he promises his forever love. A kiss at the altar in front of all your friends and family. Chasing after rambunctious little kids trying to get them to nap. All these gold dripping images of a pure love plow through your brain. Your heart is the unmovable object. They are the unstoppable force.

You and him only shared a look for what was probably half a second, but the thick air that seemed to only be affecting you made time feel like it stood completely still.

You burst back into reality with the help of a slight head shake. “Woah,” you quietly whisper. You blink a few times and finally get around to taking a sip of your drink to quench your parched throat. Did you just see a whole future...with a stranger?

“Hey, are you okay?” Stella asks. Her hand gently touches your arm as she cocks her head to the side. Her brows are furrowed in what can only be described as pure confusion. Did you really space out that badly as she was talking? What were you guys even talking about?

“Oh,” you say as you gently shake your head, “yeah.” You chuckle, “yeah, I’m just fine.” You wait a beat then say, “Hey, I’m going to use the bathroom really quickly, okay?”

“Sure thing,” she nods. “Do you need me to come with?”

“I’m totally fine, I promise,” you reassure with every bone in your body while giving her your drink. You really just needed to be alone to calm your racing mind that has now turned a complete stranger into a romantic interest with the power of a golden montage.

You make your way over to the exit of the dining hall and push the creaky open with your shoulder, and the amount of force you had to use honestly hurt. Your heels click down the tiled hallway of the golf club to find the bathroom door. The rectangular bathroom mirror framed in an intricate gold design holds your reflection. You slightly tilt your head as you take a look at your face. It’s like someone took the color of a clown nose and colored in your face with it. Jeez. You shake your head and sigh. This isn’t good, and deep down, you know that. You hate when you’re like this, all flustered over someone who just happened to lock eyes with you. His eyes. They were gleaming and just all around beautiful. What were you thinking again?

Oh, right.

Well, it’s pretty obvious he has this power over you, and you don’t like that. Now is your face going to become red everytime you see him? You check your phone. There’s still two hours left, plenty of time to possibly see him again. You can’t tell if that’s necessarily a good or bad thing.

You pace around the bathroom trying to reason with your begging heart. He was pretty good looking, which means that so many people naturally want him. Who was he even talking to, anyways? You gasp and stop in your tracks, blood running cold. “He was talking to a girl,” you mumble. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t sound completely and utterly crushed. In the heat of the moment, you completely failed to realize the blonde standing next to him. You lean over the counter, the cold marble feeling on your arms making your arms break out in goosebumps. You take one last stern look in the mirror at your face. “See, this is why we can’t allow ourselves to fall that hard,” you whisper angrily, “everyone wants him, and I just...I don’t like a gold rush like that.” You shake your head again and take one last deep breath to shake out any other thoughts. You can see yourself standing barefooted at the bottom of a hole looking astounded at how tall the walls have grown, and how distant the light looks. It feels like you soared lightheartedly into the sky, just to fall and crush every bone in your body.

You roll your eyes to yourself while slightly cursing yourself out. Pushing the bathroom door open, you step out into the hallway and make a beeline back for the dining hall. Your purse starts spastically vibrating, so you hastily fish your phone out to put an end to the obnoxious noise. Scanning the text, you read that your mom is asking where you went, as the cake for your dad’s birthday is going to be cut soon. You sigh as you text, “I’m hurrying back now.”

That’s all you see before you feel a slight brush tickle your bare shoulder. Your eyes don’t dare move from your phone screen. You reason that it’s not someone you know, as they would have said something to you. Your hands shake as you put your phone back in your purse.

“Oh, sorry,” the voice trails off as he continues to walk down the hallway after he brushed up against you.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, without turning around, which is admittedly ridiculous.

As soon as you can judge his footsteps are far away enough, you make a quick glance behind to see if it really was him. And judging by the navy blue suit, it was.

Suddenly, the golden montage flows through your mind once more, showing an image of yourself wearing an old shirt of his, maybe one from when he was in high school for whatever sport he played, if he played one. Your feet feel the coolness of the wooden floor of the supposed home. The home both of you share? It’s so tangible, so real that you almost reach out to touch it. It’s right there...

Your head jerks yourself out of the vision once more, or rather the fact that you’re now faced with a white wall in front of you. You sigh a long frustrated sigh. I can’t believe I really walked by the entrance, how embarrassing, you think as you turn on your heels to backtrack. Why does this stranger have you so wrapped around his finger? No one else has been able to even come close to doing that. You feel your face with your hand, and it’s burning. I’ll go in there looking like a tomato, it’s fine.

You do your best to quite literally shake off those thoughts as you push open the dining room hall door. “There you are!” your mom says. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Come on, we’re going to sing happy birthday to Dad.”

“Can’t wait,” you beam. After all, your dad only turns 50 once, and this night is about him, afterall. You follow your mom to a table with a white tablecloth resting on it.

Stella pops out from behind your dad to approach you and whispers, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You resist the urge to gently shove her in front of everyone. “Yes,” you pleadingly insist, “now stop asking me in front of Mom and Dad, they’ll think something is wrong.”

She side eyes you with an attitude. “Fine.”

“They’re my girls,” your dad says with a smile.

You and Stella laugh while leaning into him for a quick hug. “Hey dad,” you both say in unison.

The room completely dies down, people could hear a pin drop. “Ready?” your mom asks the guests. The room takes a collective deep breath.

And so the melody of Happy Birthday rings joyously through the hall, you can see the mystery stranger out of the corner of your eye. Heat radiates off your skin, it’s almost like you can feel his eyes boring into you. It takes all the willpower you can muster, but you resist the temptation to look over at him all throughout the song.

When the song is over, the room breaks out into obnoxiously loud clapping. You, Stella, and your parents share loving looks and warm smiles.

Eventually, everyone proceeds to return to normal chatter at the one rectangular table of two that they’re sitting at, and so do you, Stella and your parents.

You pull out your seat next to your sister near the middle of the middle of the table and sit, fixing your dress.

“Ahem,” Stella says in an ill attempt to cover her suspiciousness with a clearing throat noise. Queue whatever accusatory question she’s got.

“Let me just set something straight,” she starts.

“Go for it,” you say as you reach for some water.

“It’s definitely that guy a few seats down, isn’t it?” She smirks. She’s got you trapped in her little web, and she knows it.

You may or may not have fought back choking on your water or pulling a ridiculous spit take on the nice white table cloth.

You lean in and harshly whisper, “Well you didn’t have to say it that loudly.” You glance over at the mystery stranger and see his hand wrapped around his glass as he goes to drink it. He has a thick silver ring on his pointer finger?

“Hello?” Stella shifts her head to selfishly cut off your view of him.

“Okay,” you sigh in defeat, “yes it’s him. Happy?”

“Very,” she says, very satisfied because she finally pried it out of you and got you to admit it. Someone else has you wrapped around their finger. She didn’t even have to know all the details of the montages to know. She could tell by the way your eyes glossed over and how your lips would slightly part like you were in a hazy daydream.

And you were.

“Who is he anyway? And why don’t we know him?” You ask.

“I don’t know, honestly. A little strange, isn’t it? Why don’t you ask mom who he is?” She suggests, but her cheshire smile suggests that she will somehow find out, with or without your mom’s help.

“But mom’s going to absolutely harass me until I say something to him. Just you on my tail is enough,” you say with an eyebrow raised as to say ‘don’t test me.’ And Stella knows you’re right.

“Alright, fine,” she concedes, “But why don’t you, I don’t know, talk to him?”

“I did,” you nonchalantly float.

Her eyes widen and her mouth forms an “O” from disbelief. Did you really not talk to people that much?

“Really?” she practically squeals.

“Yeah, he brushed by me and said, ‘Sorry’ so I said, ‘It’s okay.’” Okay, now you get why your friends and family get mad at you for refusing to talk to people. But cracking this joke was one you could not pass up.

Her face scrunches up and she exhibits the biggest eye roll you have ever seen. She opens her mouth to start saying something, probably to scold at you, but you open your mouth to cut her off first.

“Alright no, I haven’t. And do you know why?” As you’re about to get your thought out, you’re interrupted by a fit of laughter down the stretch of the table. Your eyes scan but freeze on the stranger, whose nose is adorably scrunched up as he laughs with multiple, yes multiple, people about goodness knows what. And there’s that other blonde that you still don’t know, laughing with him. You tear your stare away and focus back on your sister.

“Look, that right there. That’s why,” you say, anger burning through your chest.

Stella raises an eyebrow in her own judgemental manner. “He talks to people? You know people do that right?”

Now it’s your turn to return the favor of a judgemental eye roll. “No, Stella, I mean just look at him and the people he’s surrounded by. It’s so obvious that everyone wants him. Just look at that girl with him. I’m not the only one who wants to love him.”

Silence ensues between you two. She picks up her phone and shoots a quick text. After a moment she says, “Well, I think if you just talked to him, you’d be pleasantly surprised with what could happen. I have to help mom with distributing gift bags. You stay here,” she instructs.

You can only assume you’re not being called to help because Stella graciously told your mom that you’re potentially working up the courage to talk to someone that’s not one of your three friends or your family. How generous of her.

A few friends of your dad stop by your seat to say goodbye before they head out. The noise slightly dies down enough to scarcely hear some other conversations. You hear nothing out of the ordinary, just a girl talking about getting into her dream school to some guy. Your ears slightly move as you pick up on a voice that sounds like the one in the hallway earlier.

“Yeah dude, but did you see the fake out on the goalie on the second goal? That had to have been the best part.”

Out of instinct you open your mouth to interject, but quickly shut it and put it under lock and key. You blink in disbelief. Hockey? Did this man just speak on hockey?

You circle the rim of the coffee cup and stare at the brown liquid. In a different universe…

In a different universe you would have actually kept your mouth open, and maybe even squeezed some words out, too.

“Actually, that seamless stretch pass down the neutral zone from the defenseman after a pretty difficult forecheck set up the play pretty well. I’d give him a lot of credit, too.”

He’d probably look a little shocked, as do most guys when you interject your two-sense about hockey. But maybe he’d break out into a small smile and offer a rebuttal. Yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe one day…

Maybe one day you’ll be sitting next to him on the couch, watching a game while cuddling and brushing the hair out of his face. Oh who are you kidding, you’ll be up and screaming at the TV. It’s your staple.

A noise of someone dropping something behind you slightly startles you and pulls you out of your once again golden daydream. You finally stop mindlessly circling the rim of your coffee cup to take a sip, but only to find it’s now ice cold.

This is why you hate looking through a pair of rose colored glasses. It distracts you from enjoying things. You glance over at your dad who’s still talking to one of his good friends that lingered after festivities. You’re supposed to be celebrating him right now, but instead you’re literally stuck in this cursedly pure golden daydream that is almost too good to break.

You can see him. He’s still there, at the end of the table, chatting away with some dude. The blonde left at some point, though.

“Well, I gotta head out, man, good to see you. My sister needs help with packing her stuff for college tomorrow, so we’ve got a busy day coming up.”

Could that girl have been his sister?

“Congratulations to her on getting into her dream school by the way,” the guy says. “I talked to her when she was here earlier, and she seemed super excited.”

A wave of cool relief washes over your body, remembering the conversation about college you picked up on earlier. It was his sister.

“Yeah she is, she worked really hard, and it also involved a whole lot of crying,” he chuckles.

Ain’t that right, you think to yourself.

The table shakes as he pushes out of his chair. Your eyes remain glued to your coffee cup no matter how much you want them to move. You just can’t gather the courage to say something, and you’re cursing yourself for it. You don’t want to sit here and dream about him anymore. You want to actually let these things happen, for once. You want to just unleash all these swirling and sickeningly sweet emotions from your body and drown him in it. You want so badly to leap up and say something, anything. Step on those voices taunting you and mocking you saying that it could never happen, it could never be so it will never be. He’s so inviting that you can’t resist any longer. You go to reach out to him, but the door shuts before you know it.

And just as fleeting as he came,

He’s gone.

Fuck. It feels as though a brick is sitting on your chest, suffocating you. You really let your worries control you, and this time it feels as though you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life. You just can’t believe you let it happen when your mind was begging you to talk to him. You always do-

“Shit,” you mumble. In your frustration, you knocked over the remnants of the coffee onto the not-so-white-anymore table cloth. Tears prickle up in your eyes, your throat closes, and your nose begins to sting. You quickly swallow these emotions down your throat and begin to use a napkin to soak up the excess coffee. Drinks have really not been your friend tonight.

For the first time, you notice as you clean that it’s just you left in the room, besides a few people cleaning up on the other end. You’re not sure where your family has gone, but you haven’t received any texts prompting you to leave yet. It’s so silent that you can hear some muffled chatter down the hall.

Suddenly, you hear the same creak of the door open with an “oof” that doesn’t quite sound like your dad. Your blood runs cold and you freeze mid press into the tablecloth. You glance up without turning around to see a lone jacket hanging on a chair suspiciously close to the chair he previously sat in. Your eyes widen and dart around the room, but you dare not move, waiting to see what he does. Even after cursing yourself out for ten minutes while cleaning up spilled coffee, you still haven’t learned to make the first move. His presence feels like a forcefield, you can feel it heavily pressing into your back.

But he isn’t moving to grab the jacket, no.

A pointer finger with a silver ring taps your shoulder.

“Hey,” the clarity of his voice rings in your ears like a bell. Your heart is racing so fast that it feels like it’s going to burst out of your rib cage and run its own 10k. You slowly crank your head around to meet his eyes for the first time-- face to face.

And you must say, his face is really pretty when you actually talk to him face to face. Maybe you should do this more often. You take in his golden features, and struggle to hide a small smirk creeping up on your face. His messy hair falls perfectly into place on his head, and his kind face makes you feel as though a mess of metallic gold swirls are playfully swirling and dashing around you both. You’ve found him in this lifetime.

“I’m Mat, can I help you clean up before I grab my jacket?”

[fictional-other]

i may or may not have thought of this while listening to gold rush by taylor swift… a little rushed (maybe very rushed and very short lol) and probably many grammar mistakes </3 still really new to writing on here in general so this might be bad sbdjdjd hope you enjoy nonetheless though :]]

Warnings: Food mention, thats it i think, if there’s anything else please let me know (/gen)

-

“c’mon! we’re almost there!” your f/o had said to you while climbing up a hill, you both decided to take on the challenge but they were already way ahead of you when your legs started aching from it all.

“faster!! we can’t let the food go bad up here,” they practically shouted when you were near the top. already setting up the blanket and a few of the utensils you had brought from home. it had been weeks since planning out the picnic, deciding amongst yourselves and agreeing what you’d each bring. they’d bring the main course of food and drinks, while you brought extra snacks and the utensils you’d need.

the day was so hot. so terribly hot. maybe you two should’ve decided on a better time or day, maybe even checking the weather on an app or the weather channel, but nothing could ruin this, you had thought while they handed you a drink, noticing the little beads of sweat that had formed on their own from the climb up here.

a little wind had made its way towards the two of you as you sat there deciding what to eat first. “gods that feels amazing,” you said practically out of breath, looking up at the sun at bathing in the sunlight and warmth it brought.

your f/o chuckled at you while putting a sandwich near their mouth and taking a bite out of it. “you should eat before it becomes weirdly hot from the sun,”

“oh gods i almost forgot what we came here for,” you said going straight for the cake you two made and taking a chunk of it and placing it on a plate with your fork before placing it in your mouth to lick off the homemade white icing.

“hey you aren’t supposed to eat the desert now! at least eat something else first,” they said slightly jokingly annoyed while putting some of your favorite food you brought along onto a plate. “okay mom,” you said slightly laughing at them hurriedly putting your plate together and placing it in front of you while you brought out your book from the picnic basket.

after a few minutes of reading and bringing up the food to your mouth to eat, you put down your book to admire the view, taking in everything and enjoying it. it’s been a while since you last stopped for a second and let everything sink in properly. smiling, your f/o looks at you when you look at them and find crumbs of some cookies you ate. bringing up their hand to wipe it off your face, you let their fingers graze your skin and it felt nice to be with someone you feel comfortable with. the stress of everything happening in your life never let you catch up, it felt nice to relax and let yourself rest.

“this is nice,” they say while looking up at the sky. you start gathering all the left over food along with the utensils and placing it inside the basket. letting yourself lay down on the blanket once you finish and feel them lay down next to you. pointing out the different clouds and variations of shapes it reminds you two of. laughing at the misshapen ones, and recalling different animals that the clouds take form oh.

suddenly they turn their head to you, “want to dance?” “what?” they stand up and hold out a hand for you to grab onto and get up with, “i asked if you want to dance,” “fine, but only if you play the song,” they bring out their phone and put it at full volume with the song you both enjoy, throwing it onto the grass while they drag you by the hand and start singing at the top of their longs, making sure everyone in a hundred mile radius can hear. laughing, you match their dancing while still holding on to their hands.

the rest of the song went by quick, enjoying yourselves and letting yourself be free and not worry about anything else, throwing yourselves on the blanket splayed out on the grass and sitting up. you look at them and back at the sunset now happening, finally noticing it’s not too hot and letting the temperature settle down to a not so sweaty afternoon.

placing your head on their shoulder, they lay their head on top of yours and watch the sun set.

-

here’s a small pinterest board i made for inspo for this , click here to see it :]

[mss4msu]

Wildest Dreams

Summary: Moving from friends to more than friends is a sometimes risky choice; will it work out with Steven Rogers or is the idea of romance with him best left in your “Wildest Dreams”. 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

Words: 2378

Warnings: Smut

A/N: Have had a long ~dry spell~ due to writer’s block. Spent an hour reading this silly Taylor Swift: Girl Detective story that I got at a local store and then got all up in my feels listening to 1989. Lyrics are italicized, but ignore them if that makes things weird. 

“He said, ‘Let’s get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.’” 

“And how do you feel about that?” Nat asked, blowing and subsequently popping a large bubble gum bubble as you packed. 

“I said yes, but I’m anxious about it. I thought we were casual, but this feels like he’s trying to elevate this...whatever it is...to the next level. Heaven can’t help me now, I’m either in or I’m not.” 

“I mean, nothing lasts forever, might as well live while one of you is young,” Natasha winked at you. 

“But this is gonna take me down a road that I don’t know that we’re ready for….” 

Nat cleared her throat, “He’s so tall and handsome as hell,” she mocked your voice, “It’s not like he’s this oh so bad boy or something to be worried about.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah...but everything he does he does it so well. I’m worried I can see the end as it begins….”

“Ready to go?” Steve Rogers asked, lightly knocking on the door as he peered in at you.

You felt the burn of embarrassment heating your cheeks and quickly zipped up your suitcase.

“Yep!” you called, gauging his face to see if he’d overheard.

“Have fun you two,” Nat blew and popped another bubble as she skipped out of your room with a wink back at you. 

You anxiously readjusted your dress as you stood up from your suitcase, “I think I’m ready.” 

He held the door open for you and took your suitcase as you walked through. He took you by the hand and you felt a shiver run through your spine. Looking up at him you saw the goofiest grin; you’d never seen him look so happy. Your stomach twinged into a knot and you weren’t sure if it was the stress of hoping to never ruin his happiness or the excitement that you were and could maybe always be that happiness.

He loaded your bag into the car and opened your door for you. 

“Always the gentleman,” you slightly curtseyed to him. 

“Of course, mademoiselle,” he bowed back before going to the driver’s side and getting in the car. 

“I didn’t know you spoke French.”

“Of course, live long enough and you learn a little bit of everything.”

“So what else have you learned? How to pickle veggies and herd sheep?”

“Pickling no, but I learned a bit about herding from a friend who spent some time in Wakanda,” he winked at you.

The drive continued on this way, with you each poking fun at and learning little quirky things about each other. The car began to slow and you looked out the window to see you were arriving at your destination.

“A vineyard?” you watched as rows of vines moved past you, “It’s really beautiful, Steve.” 

“I thought it’d be nice,” you could hear a slight sheepishness in his voice now.

“It is!” you reached out and patted his hand to reassure him, but found that your heart began racing at the contact. 

Steve parked the car and you followed him inside. He checked you both in and the attendant presented you with wine glasses, a map, and a room key. 

“You can fill your glasses here,” the attendant circled an area on the map, “and then feel free to tour the vineyard as you like. It closes at dark, so please make sure not to be out past then.” 

You both nodded and took your glasses. Steve took the map and slid the key into his pocket. You nervously got your glasses filled where the map had directed and went out into the vineyards to wander. The casual conversation began to flow more easily between you as you felt the wine loosening you up. You wandered between the vines and found yourselves at an area with a little metal bench perched on a hill, overlooking the vineyard. Steve gestured for you to sit, and you obliged. The sun was beginning to set and the sky had a beautiful glow. 

You took a deep breath, “Steve, I’m worried that this,” you gestured broadly, “is going to change this,” you pointed back and forth between the two of you.

“And is that a bad thing?” he asked, taking your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

You gazed up into his piercing blue eyes, “I...I just...look...my one condition to this is...say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset.”

“Babe, that’ll be pretty easy to do after this,” he raised his glass to yours.

You rolled your eyes at him as you clinked your glass against his. You took a long gulp as he took a light sip. 

“You’re beautiful,” he looked you up and down, “With your red lips and rosy cheeks,” he gently traced your lips with his thumb.  

You sighed deeply, “Steve, I’m serious. I’m worried that...if this doesn’t work out...for whatever reason, just say you’ll see me again...even if it’s just in your wildest dreams?”

“You’re dramatic, you know that?” 

“I am not! I just wanted to make sure that all of this was said first.” 

“Look, if it makes you feel better, no one has to know what we do. We can just keep this between us for now?”

“Easier said than done,” you murmured, thinking about how you’d already told Nat which meant she had told Clint and Wanda and probably Banner...which meant that at least 30 other people knew and the odds of at least one of them being someone random like the barista at the coffee shop around the corner were pretty high knowing how big of gossips they all were.

“Hmm?” he hummed in your ear.

“Nothing, just kiss me?” you pleaded to him.

He growled in agreement and moved his hand around the back of your neck, leading your lips to his. 

“What was that key for?” you asked in a way that you thought was sultry. 

“Oh, I figured we could do the tastings tomorrow and so I got us a room. It has two beds in case….” “Take me to the room?” It came out a question, but by the darkening of his eyes you knew he had gathered that it was more of a command. 

He took your hand and helped you up. Interlocking his fingers between yours, he led you back to where you had gotten the key. He squeezed your hand as you wandered the halls and found your room. He opened the door and held it for you to duck under his arm and turn on the lights. 

“Cute,” you remarked at the room with its two beds and a small bucket with a chilled bottle of wine on the table between them. 

“Nah, you’re the cute one,” he replied, pulling you tightly against him. 

You giggled and pushed away, grabbing him by the shirt and walking backwards until you were by a bed. You then gently pushed him down onto it. You grabbed the condoms you’d packed in your bag and threw them on the bed next to him. 

“Presumptuous of you,” he said, picking them up. 

“Was it?” 

He motioned for you to come back to him with just one finger. It sent a shiver of anticipation down your spine. 

You walked back to him and slowly undressed him, removing every single piece of clothing from his body before climbing onto his thighs. He tenderly pulled your dress over your head, and you could see the hunger growing in his eyes, darkening them. That look fueled you and you smashed your lips into his. His hands started on your cheeks, then tangled in your hair as they moved their way down your shoulders, stopping briefly to backtrack and stroke your chin before he let them explore down your back. 

“You were just wearing a dress?” he pulled back to eye you up, licking his lips in anticipation. 

Your face began to fill with that familiar tinge of embarrassed heat as you looked down at your naked form straddling his. You smiled innocently, despite knowing exactly what you had been doing when you had made the choice to go without any undergarments while getting dressed that morning. 

“God, you’re so sexy,” his hands traced their way along your spine and back up to your neck. 

He let out a deep growl as he guided your head down to his and kissed you. He took his time at first, each kiss like its own moment that would be forever frozen in time. You started moving your hips slightly on him, riling him up. He let out that low growl again and began kissing you harder, more passionately, as though every fraction of a second that your lips were parted brought a pain that could only be healed by bringing them back together.  

He broke away from you to rip open the condom and slip it on. His hands moved to your hips and he lifted you slightly, sliding his dick into you. You both let out a moan; you stopped grinding on him for a moment, allowing yourself to just feel him filling you completely. You put your hands on his pecs, then slowly started bucking your hips against him. His hands gravitated to your ass and squeezed it in unison with your grinding. 

“My turn,” he whispered into your ear, lifting you up off of him. 

You breathlessly nodded as he propped himself up on his knees, giving you space to lay down. He ran his hands up your legs, spreading your thighs slowly and kissing his way up them. He alternated legs and you felt a quiver run through you as he got closer and closer to your core. You felt the warmth of his breath on you as he paused and looked you in the eyes with a smirk before diving into your heat. He teased your bud with his tongue and you let out a moan as he slipped a finger inside of you. You heard him quietly moan as both his tongue and his finger moved more vigorously, but in a rhythm that had you bucking your hips into him. You began to feel the tingle of an orgasm building in your toes, then moving through your legs, until it finally overwhelmed you to your core, sending you along a crashing wave of pleasure. 

You grabbed his hair and lightly jerked it. He lifted his face and looked at you with a grin. He slowly removed his finger from your soaking pussy and stuck it in his mouth, sucking your wetness off of himself. You inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to reach the calm after the storm. 

He smirked as he spread your legs wider and then eased himself back into you. After giving you time to readjust around him he pushed himself completely inside of you, then with an almost painful slowness pulled himself back out. You bit your lip in anticipation and moaned as he filled you up again. He continued at this pace for a while, teasing you. When you almost couldn’t bear it any longer he pulled your legs around him and put one arm underneath of you and used the other to prop himself up. You reached up to his face and pulled his lips to yours. 

He kissed you deeply and thrust into you even deeper. The pace started slow, but he gradually sped up and began a rhythm that hit all of the right spots at all of the right moments. You felt every inch of his dick as it went in and out of you. 

He moved his arm from around you and leaned down for a kiss before he really began to thrust into you harder and faster. You felt his dick begin to throb. 

“Cum for me, Steve,” you pleaded

He growled as you locked eyes and he pushed his cock as deep into your pussy as he could over and over again until he let out a growling moan. From the intense throbbing you felt inside of you you knew he had just cum. You sighed as he pulled out of you and visibly shuddered from the pleasure. 

He smiled and bent down to kiss you gently on the forehead before getting up. You lay there, eyes closed, replaying what had just happened, not wanting to forget a moment. 

His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room. 

You tried to slow your breathing and calm down as you heard the sound of a cork popping.

“Here, love.”

Hearing those words in his deep voice sent another tingle through you. You opened your eyes to him offering you a glass of the chilled wine. 

“Cheers to a fantastic getaway,” he offered his glass up to yours. 

You sat up and arranged pillows for the two of you to lean back against. 

“This is a lovely trip,” you smiled as the romantically familiar sound of glasses clinking filled the room and then leaned in and kissed him. 

You sat together and talked and laughed and drank. He called room service for dinner, but you were so absorbed in each other that neither of you touched the food when it arrived. As the hours flew by, you couldn’t stifle the large yawn that escaped your lips. 

“Tired?” he asked. 

“No!” you replied too enthusiastically, “Do you want to watch something?” you knew you were exhausted, but also that you didn’t want to sleep just yet.

“Sure,” he smiled knowingly, “Hm, there’s a new Bond movie on: Nothing lasts forever.”

You laid against him, your bodies entwined. You felt yourself nod off every once in awhile as the movie played, only to be awoken by Steve asking you a question to which you’d “mhm” a response.

“Alright, I’m turning the movie off,” he said after he himself had dozed for longer than he had expected.

“But this is getting good now,” you gestured at the TV, which was showing a commercial for some product you’d never buy.

He laughed, “I’ll see you in my wildest dreams.”

He kissed you on the forehead and clicked off the lights. 

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Summary/Warnings: Amoreena meets Jo, Jo shares her experience with the foster homes (tw self-harm and child abuse), and Spencer shares his shitty childhood with her. They bond, he loves her more than he thought possible, his dreams of a big happy family are coming true.

word count: 4.8k

from the beginning <3

His phone is ringing at 7:50 and all he does is groan, forgetting Y/N’s agreement with Amoreena. His wife reached over his face and towards the phone, picking up with an overly cheerful tone for a pregnant woman who was up until 3 am.

“Hello sweet girl, how was your sleep?”

“Ugh,” she makes a weird face as the morning nausea kicks in and she tries to swallow it down. “Yeah? Oh, I’m so glad, dad and I are just waking up. We have another big surprise for you today… I know honey there’s always a lot going on, but this one is a good one I promise!”

“Can I go talk to her?” Spencer asks, “alone?”

“Dad’s going to come and see you while mommy has a shower, okay? I love you too, bye,” she smiles as she hangs up and passes the phone back to him.

They kiss quickly before separating, Spencer throws on the same clothes from the beach last night before heading down the hall towards Amoreena’s room. He knocks quietly before entering, seeing her sitting in a queen bed with 2 cats.

“Taylor let Olivia and Benjamin stay in here last night, she said they usually sleep in here anyway!” She was whispering, but it was still loud for her this early.

He sat on the edge of her bed and gave her a big hug, “how was your night?”

“Really amazing, Dad, Taylor is my best friend now,” she’s completely serious, “I hope mom’s not too upset about that, I guess we could share her…”

“That’s a nice thought, are you good at sharing?”

“I think so,” she nods with a serious face.

“Good, because there’s a new person who’s coming to live with us. She’s going to be kind of sad for a while and I’ll be spending a lot of time with her too,” he watches her face as she listens, confused but fine with it.

“Who is she?”

“Did your mom tell you how she made you?”

She nods, “she said sometimes people with penises donate sperm to help people have babies, and you were the one who donated for me,” she gives him a run down so seriously that it makes him laugh like the 7-year-old.

“Yeah, exactly, well I also helped 2 other families make babies,” he says softly, petting her hair as she understands what that means.

“So I have more siblings?”

“Yep, 2 sisters and a brother,” he smiles as she starts to bounce with excitement. “Josephine is 12, almost 13, and she’s coming to live with us.”

“Where is her mom?” She asks, he knew she would.

“Her mom and dad were in an accident, they died and she looked for me because she didn’t want to be alone anymore,” he knows it’s a hard topic, and that she understands death after losing her gg, but it’s still hard.

“Oh, that’s sad,” she frowns, moving in to hug him again, she keeps her head pressed to his shoulder. “I hope she’s okay, is she here now too?”

“She is, but I’m not sure if she’s awake yet, she’s a teenager and they sometimes sleep in longer than you would, like when Henry was over and slept until noon,” he has all his kids profiled in his minds and it’s actually more helpful than a hindrance.

“Does she like Taylor?”

He knew that one was coming too, “she’s a huge fan, she cried meeting her just like mom.”

“Is she going to call my mom her mom now?”

“I don’t think so, would that upset you?” He’s worried for the answer, he had the same jealous tendencies growing up. Hell, he still has them.

“No, she needs a mom, I would be very sad without mine, I know she needs one too,” she looked at him like it was a stupid question because of course, all kids need a mom and her mom happened to be the best.

“That’s really nice of you, she knows all about you and she’s really excited to move in with us, maybe you can help her decorate her room?” He isn’t sure what Jo will think, but he knows it would be good for bonding.

“Can we see if she’s awake? Wait, she’s a she right? Miss Kennedy said sometimes people look like girls but they don’t like to feel like girls, so we use they,” Amoreena was so worried about being a good sister he didn’t know why he worried so much.

“Well, I’m not sure, Jo hasn’t told me but you can ask?”

She shot right out of bed, still in her dress from last night as she ran to the door, “come on, what room is it?”

“Right there, knock nicely,” he says as he joins her in the hall, pointing to the room across from her.

She knocked 3 times, hearing a small ‘yeah?’ From the other side before opening it, “good morning!” Amoreena cheered.

“Amoreena!” Jo smiled as she got out of bed and ran over to her. She dropped to her knees so they’d be the same height and wrapped her up in her arms.

They hugged like this was a reunion and not an introduction, they held on to one another so tightly they both squeezed their eyes shut and held their breath. He knew that kind of hug, that was a hug you gave when you deeply loved the person you were hugging.

It made him want to cry, again.

Jo pulled back from her and Amoreena immediately held her face in her hands, observing her. “Yep, you’re my sister,” she smiled as she saw her nose.

That same perfect little button that was slightly angled towards the sky, she booped it lightly. Jo booped her right back.

“I am, it’s pretty cool getting to share a dad with you cause now I get to meet Taylor Swift, how the heck did we get so lucky?” Jo talks to her like she’s used to being around kids, finding the wonder in every word and saying the whole sentence with enthusiasm.

She turns to him, both his girls making the same face as they looked at him in the doorway, “how did you meet Taylor, dad?”

“You remember Uncle Dave? He came over for the barbecue and talked to poppy bob about winemaking all night?”

“Yeah, he’s Italian,” Amoreena remembered his funny accent and how she called him Mario.

“His daughter is Taylor’s friend, so Taylor sent me an email asking to meet you,” he couldn’t help but smile as she did.

“So you guys really are knights at the FBI, huh?”

“Yeah, but my armour got too rusty so now I’m going to guard the princess only, no more battles for me,” he was happy to make it magical, to turn the terribleness of it all into something she could be proud of.

He feels cold hands reaching under the back of his shirt then as he jumps, Y/N is wrapping her arms around him and pressing her cheek to his back, “your armour is fine, it just needs some polish.”

“They’re kinda gross, you’ll have to get used to that,” Amoreena says, pressing her lips together awkwardly as she looks at Jo.

“It’s nice though, it makes you feel like love is real,” Jo smiled back, “not many kids have happy families.”

“You do now, okay?” Amoreena took her cheeks in her hands again, something she must have learned from Y/N. “My family is your family and we are the best family, you’re going to have so much fun with us, can I help you decorate your room?”

Jo cried, laughing lightly as she nodded, “that would be cool, maybe we can get bunk beds for random sleepovers?”

Amoreena shot her eyes to her mom, “can we?”

“That would be cool,” Y/N agreed, “we’ll go to Ikea on Friday when I’m not working, okay?”

“And this weekend we can buy some paint for your room?” Spencer added, “you guys can plan all week together.”

“Yes!” Amoreena cheered, hugging Jo again.

Jo held her gently, resting her cheek against the top of Amoreena’s head with a small smile. She looked genuinely happy, peaceful like she belonged somewhere again.

Right then Amoreena’s eyes are darting right to him, “It’s fathers day!” She screams, way too loud for 8 am in someone else’s home. Thank god Taylor was on the other side of the mansion.

“Oh my god,” Amoreena smacked her forehead with her little hand, “I was so carried away with the wedding I didn’t pack your present, dad! I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve got you covered little miss,” Y/N smiled at her, “It’s in my purse!”

Amoreena pushed past them in the doorway and ran to their room in search of said purse. Probably emptying it out on the bed and making a huge mess, but it was fine.

Y/N took a moment to kiss his cheek, “good morning, happy father’s day.”

“Thank you,” he blushed, turning to face her and hold her close, “I can feel you staring Jo, come here.”

She comes skipping right over, wrapping her arms around them both and resting her head on Spencer’s side. For a 12-year-old she was tall, a lot taller than Henry was, that’s for sure.

“Hey!” Amoreena butts in, “let me in,” she pushed into the middle of the hug to steal all the warmth, “happy father’s day, dad.”

“Happy father’s day,” Jo added with a soft smile, “thank you for everything.”

“Yeah, you’re the best dad in the world, Jo you should see how he reads with his mind, he doesn’t even need to look at the books at bedtime,” Amoreena bragged, pulling back from all of them then.

Spencer wiped the tears from his face and pretended he wasn’t crying, overwhelmed by love just like he told Jo to expect. “I love you guys, I’m so glad I helped make you both, you’re the best kids a dad could ask for.”

“Here,” Amoreena hands him a wrapped present.

It’s a handmade book, blue construction paper bound with green ribbon in little loops and covered in a thin layer of tissue paper from the present he got her last week. He carefully removes the tissue and hands it back to her, “do you still want it for dresses?”

“Sure,” she takes it with a smile, “I wrote this for you after a dream I had, Miss Kennedy helped me write it all and reword it a bit. But it’s all from my brain.”

“Spencer’s little women,” he reads and then his heartbeat almost stops when he sees the bottom, “by Amoreena Reid.”

“We can go sit in the living room while you read it to us?” Y/N offered, taking the girl's hands and leading them all down the hallway.

Taylor’s house was full of floor-to-ceiling windows, allowing them to watch the sunrise over the ocean as they cuddled up on the couch as a family. Him and his little women.

“Once upon a time, there was a kingdom ruled by a beautiful princess who had a broken heart. She promised to hide away from the townspeople until she gathered all the pieces again,” Spencer read the first sentence and knew he wouldn’t be able to make it through the whole book.

“You know, I think it would be better if you read this to me Amoreena,” he asks her gently, “I want to know it from your voice first.”

“Okay,” she bounces up from where she cuddled into her mother to take the book from his hand, sitting straight as she got ready to read.

“Slowly, but surely, the pieces came back to her one by one as the people felt the need to search for her, they missed seeing her smile as she ruled alongside her parents, the king and queen until her heart was fixed.

A little girl, Lady Amoreena, arrived like a gift. A fairy godmother handing a small child to the princess to raise and love forever and ever, they were best friends more than anything.

But the princess’s baby girl made it her mission to fix the rest of her heart as she grew up seeing her mom frown, questing for princes and kings, even another princess to come and fill that last missing spot of her heart. To make their family love grew as the cracks from where they separated were healed.

She set off on her daily adventure, running off past the gates on the way to the willow tree, excited to see what wonders the pond of youth brought to her this time. Surprised to find a knight, his broken and rusty armour fallen on the ground, he was wrapped in weeds, he had been trapped for too long to remember.

Amoreena cut the vines off him with her sword, “you’re free now, sir knight.”

“How can I ever repay you?” The kind man with the same nose as her asked.

“Meet the princess, tell her about your battles, make her laugh and you can stay with us,” she gives him one final quest. His last ever duty.

The princess smiles as soon as they meet. He wins her over without even trying, he completes their family and makes all the cracks in her heart fuse back together. Gold light shines from her as she’s healed, completed by the love of a family she never knew she needed.

The love didn’t end there… the knight and the princess knew lady Amoreena would be like her mom when she grew up. The possibility of a sad and broken heart as she got older, so they made her 8 more siblings, her group of sisters to keep her company during the happily ever after part.

“Sir Spencer, where are all your little women?” The king of the land asked, seeing the knight and the princess all alone on the path, old and slow as they walked.

“Down by the pond, it’s story day!”

He knew that’s where they’d always be, at their pond with a book, braiding each other's hair, weaving flower crowns and chasing each other through the wildflowers that replaced the vines that once held him down.

Free, healed and happy. Spencer and his little women healed the princess, allowing her to take the role as Queen, like her grandma always wanted for her.”

“There isn’t a 'the end'?” Y/N’s voice questions lightly as Spencer cries too hard to even respond.

She was the most amazing child in the whole world and he didn’t know what he did to deserve her. He wrapped her up in his arms and held her so tight she was smacking his arm to let her go with a laugh, “I want to add more to it when I’m older, like GG’s book.”

“You can write one for all your sisters,” Y/N smiles at her softly, “you know, gg only wrote Amoreena because you came to her in a dream?”

She nodded, “that’s why I started writing this book for dad because I had a dream about him reading to all of us, he was so old it was funny.”

“How old?” He asks, remembering his reflection from his own dream.

“Like poppy, you had a white beard!”

“What did we talk about?” He doesn’t know why he wants to know so badly but he’s desperate to know if their dream was the same.

“It was story day, you and mom were late, but you said, ‘I’d never miss a Saturday with my little women,’” she smiles, “I’m so glad you’re my dad.”

She holds him back just as tight this time, snuggling into his chest as he breathes her in. His first little baby, even if she was the middle kid now, she was his baby, he couldn’t even imagine holding someone even smaller than her soon.

—

They take a quick trip to target in the morning, needing to get some things for Jo and Y/N really, really wanted chocolate-covered cranberries, making sure he knew that she would kill him if he didn’t bring them back to her. Finally having those pregnancy mood swings he was expecting.

Jo is quick to pick out some summer clothes and a bathing suit for the day as well as toiletries and anything else she wanted because Spencer said so. He was going to spoil her because he didn’t know what else to do. This is what he wanted from his dad, someone to see something, think of him and just get it to make him smile.

She saw some purple bedding that she liked, so it ended up in the cart. And then she needed some new pillow, and some fitted sheets… oh and those curtains are nice… and before they knew it they had $300 worth of things for her bedroom in the back of Y/N’s car.

Jo pressed her lips together awkwardly as they sat in the front seats of the car, he looked over at her and smiled, making her laugh, “this is the best father’s day.”

“I’m supposed to be getting you gifts today!”

“You are a gift, Jo,” he doesn’t mean to get sappy, but he can’t help the love he feels for her already.

“Drive before I cry, dude,” she turns to look out the window. “Are we going to have a 'ground rules and behaviour' speech like all the foster parents do? I have a feeling you have no idea what you’re doing.”

He starts the car then, pulling out of the lot and starting the 40-minute car ride back with her, “how do they normally set the rules in the foster homes?”

“They pay for my phone bill with the money provided for me each month and they sometimes get me the groceries I want for lunches and stuff but they mostly kept the money for themselves. I’m only allowed on the internet for an hour a day, homework has to be done in front of their eyes at the kitchen table, no food after 7 pm, lights off and no walking around by 9,” she gave the rundown and it made Spencer’s stomach turn.

“I will pay for your phone bill, you don't need to worry about that. We can even get you a new one when we get home. Y/N has great internet and every streaming service available, you don’t have a time limit here. Just promise me you’ll go outside sometimes?” He reaches a hand out to hold her’s while driving, letting her know he means what is coming next.

“I trust you have a way of life you’re used to, and I’m not going to change that on you, if you want to share things with me and be open and honest, I’m always here and I will never judge you. I don’t want you to ever feel like you need to hide things from me. And that being said, I trust you enough to use the internet safely, and not hack anything without good reason anymore?”

Derek was right, it’s surprisingly easy to be a dad. All you have to do is love them and be there for them.

“Okay, then I think you should know,” she takes a deep breath and a pause. “I’m pretty sure I like girls too, I never got to tell my mom that but I’m sure she knew, and I’m kind of scared to put my bathing suit on when I get home.”

“First of all, I’m proud of you,” he squeezes her hand 3 times, and she does it right back with a smile. “Secondly, why? Did you not get one you liked? I was fine buying any of them for you.”

“I have a lot of scars on my legs, and I don’t want to scare Amoreena,” she’s really ashamed of herself and Spencer understands it.

He rolls his sleeve up and extends his arm for her to see his very faded track marks, “I was drugged on a case once, I had an addiction after. The scars fade over time, but I also haven’t shown Amoreena my bare arms yet.”

“Mine are pretty faded now too, it’s been a few months, they look more like stretch marks,” she smiled at his honesty, feeling safer with him.

“If she asks, you can say it was from a cat at the foster home. She’ll think about Cinderella and the evil stepmother's cat, and then completely forget why she asked,” he assures her, knowing Amoreena like the back of his hand now.

“Lucifer,” Jo smiles, “I was like her as a kid too, always making up stories and finding new movies to be obsessed with. I have ADHD, by the way, but I’m un-medicated cause my last foster home didn’t listen to the school’s diagnosis,” she says it like it’s not a big deal.

His blood starts to boil at the thought of someone not taking care of her, “excuse me?”

“Yeah, and when I asked for a therapist they said no to that too, I was ‘fine’ apparently and they settled for a dead parents support group so that Colin could have a coffee while I sat there,” she’s oblivious to how terrible it is.

“Make me a list of all the things you want, I mean everything down to the most niche interest or therapy technique that you’ve researched and I will help you with whatever it is,” Spencer is furious at the conditioning she’s experienced to think this is okay.

“You don’t have to, dad, I’m okay now,” she lies and he can tell.

“You don’t have to be, believe me, I cry almost every night to Y/N about things I thought I had recovered from. If you want to talk to someone because you think it will help, or if you want medicine because you feel like it’ll help you focus better or just be happier, I’m here to help you get that.”

She goes quiet, staring at their hands where he’s still squeezing her palm. She rubs her thumb along the skin softly, “did your mom ever hurt you?”

“Only when she wasn’t really there in her own mind,” he presses his lips together right after, he’s never told anyone about it.

“Did your dad?”

“Emotionally, but he wasn’t there long enough to lay a hand on me.”

She nods at the response, “my dad was evil, I think he killed my mom in that ‘accident’, but on purpose.”

“I thought my dad was a murderer once too, but it was actually my dad’s friend,” he isn’t sure why he’s telling her everything, but she deserved to know.

“There was a pedophile in our town who killed this boy, Riley, and my mom told him about a man who was watching me like I was next. And Riley’s dad killed him, but I was so young my mind tried to think it was my dad who did it all.”

“Your old job must have really messed you up inside too, huh?” She tries to laugh it off, scared of his past but intrigued at the same time, he just nods at her observation.

“I have a friend, her name is Penelope, her parents died when she was a little bit older than you. She snuck out and they went to look for her, and they were in a car crash,” he makes sure she’s comfortable, her hand is still in his and her thumb is still moving over his skin.

“Like you, she got into hacking, the FBI had to hire her because she was so good she became a threat, you’d really like her,” he says, turning to look at her quickly, he loves the smile on her face.

“I’d love to meet her,” she smiled, “thank you, I wish you could have always been my dad.”

It breaks his heart a little, “well, you have me forever now.”

—

“Two questions,” Y/N’s voice approaches as she walks towards the trunk of her car.

Jo and Spencer are digging through all the shopping bags trying to find all the things that she needs for the afternoon, leaving the rest for the ride home.

“Here,” Spencer hands her the chocolate-covered cranberries, “king-sized bag.”

“I love you,” she smiles as she takes it, “the second question, how are the suitcases going to fit in there now? We have two kids to bring home, they’re going to be squished.”

“I don’t mind,” Jo smiles, “one time they didn’t have room for me in a car so I sat in the trunk for 15 minutes.”

Spencer wrapped her up in his arms, “every time you tell me a story about what has happened to you, I want to kill someone.”

She laughs, holding him back gently, “believe me, I was an asshole to them, they got what they deserved.”

“What did you do?” Y/N worries about what she’s capable of, Spencer can tell.

“I called the tax people and said they have been claiming foster kids as dependents and now they might have tax fraud charges coming their way,” she seemed very proud of herself. “I would never hurt someone, but I have no problem getting them in trouble.”

Y/N extended her fist, bumping it off Jo’s with a smile, “as you should! Now, come on, let’s go get ready for the beach.”

Jo skipped inside with Y/N, their arms linked as they did so. Spencer couldn’t believe this was his life now. He closed the trunk with a slam, picking up the bag of things he set aside before joining them inside.

“Surprise!!!!” Amoreena screamed as soon as he walked through the door.

There was a hand-drawn Happy Father’s Day banner hanging from the staircase and purple balloons all over the place.

“Happy father’s day!!!” They all cheered for him, even Taylor’s mom was there now, smiling at the display of affection.

Amoreena and Jo came running up to him, wrapping their arms around him and holding him close, nothing felt real. “Can you pinch me?” He asked them with a small smile.

He didn’t think they’d do it, but even Y/N walked over and started pinching him all over. Amoreena pinched his leg, Jo pinched his belly button and Y/N, she pinched his cute little butt as she pressed a kiss to his blushing cheek. “You’re very real, so are we.”

“I love you guys,” Spencer reminds them, holding them all as close as he can for just a moment, “okay, enough sappiness, let’s go to the beach!”

Amoreena and Y/N are already in their swimsuits under their sundresses, Jo, on the other hand, picked out some trunks and a tank-style swim top, hiding her scares just enough that she felt comfortable getting in the sand and building a castle with Amoreena.

Y/N laid on the towel beside Spencer in the shade, Taylor and her mom were playing scrabble on the picnic table, her dad was cooking up burgers on the grill. It was serene, it was perfect, they were a little family and it made absolutely no sense to him how it all worked out so well, but he wouldn’t change any of it.

“Look how big it is after lunch,” Y/N grabbed his attention, sticking her belly out as far as it could go, “I’m going to get so huge again, at least this time I’ll be the biggest when it’s cold out.”

“Are you comfortable? Do you need more sunscreen or water?” Spencer worried, making her smile as she pushed her sunglasses up and turned to him.

“I am fantastic, thank you, cutie.”

He leans in to kiss her gently, but she wraps her arms around him and pulls him down on top of her. Kissing him like she just rescued him from the sea and hasn’t seen him for years.

When he finally pulls away, he doesn’t go far. Just sitting up as he brushes her hair off her face, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she reminds him with another soft smile.

“I missed mother’s day with you by only a few days, but you should know you’re the best mother in the whole world,” he whispered, wanting to share his day with her because, without her, he wouldn’t be a father.

She pulls him into another kiss, hands resting on his cheeks as she breathes in deeply through her nose. It’s like she’s taking the soul out of his body, he's a part of her now forever and always. He never wants to be anywhere else.

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