#taylor hebert loml

[shsl-heck]

Fuck it we ball. One thing in Worm that makes me absolutely insane is that little bit we get to see of Taylor's relationships with the Chicago Wards. I think a lot of them looked up to her. Not in the way where they wanted to be like her, but she was definitely a strong central figure and leader in their eyes (understandable since she literally managed to get them all out of an Endbringer fight alive). It's even brought up several times that she has such a strong will that it's almost like gravitational pull. People get caught up in the momentum as she barrels forward.

Taylor, though, doesn't seem to realize just what an effect she has on other people; that she's not just needed, but wanted. People care about and want to be closer to her. Anyway, this is all an excuse to talk about the best conversation in all of Worm. It happens just after Scion turns and destroys the UK.

"Grace interrupted my observations. “You’re wearing black.”

I felt a bit of guilt welling. No, guilt wasn’t the right word. I was at peace with my decision.

I just felt a little ashamed that I hadn’t been more upfront about it, with the people I’d spent years working with.

“Yeah.”

“I suppose you’re not going to get around to having that meeting with the PRT guys, getting yourself moved up from the Wards to the Protectorate? Unless I’m reading too much into the costume choice.”

“You’re not,” I said. “No, I suppose I’m not going to have that meeting.”

“Is it that we failed with the Jack thing?”

“That’s not the entirety of it,” I said.

“But it’s part of it, right? Isn’t that unfair? We had, like, a four percent chance of success going in, and we didn’t stop it from coming to pass, so you bail?”

“I said it’s only part of it,” I repeated myself.

“I know,” she said. I could see Tecton and Rachel pause, catching something in Grace’s tone.

When Grace and I remained silent, they resumed. “…the cross species interactions…”

“…the cross species interactions.”

“I know,” Grace said, after a pause. “I get that. I get that there’s other reasons. Like the fact that you love those guys and you never loved us. Cool. Makes sense.”

“I liked you guys.”

“But you didn’t love us.”

“No,” I said."

Apologies for the long quote, but this is one of my favorite moments in Worm. Taylor has known these people, fought side by side with them, for way longer than she ever did the Undersiders! But she still doesn't love them. Tbh I get the sense that she doesn't even really care about them that much more than she would any random person off the street. (Golem is maybe an exception here, but I'd argue that's mostly bc he has an important role in Jack ending the world). It's not like the Chicago Wards were hostile to her. It certainly seems like they tried to include her. How many meals shared, offers to hang out, times saving each other, attempted conversations, over those years did it take for Grace and the others to finally realize what she said in that quote? Taylor could tolerate them, maybe even like them, but she was never going to love them, never going to be their friend. What impact must that have had on them as a team? With the Undersiders, Taylor was kind of the central figure. I never got the sense that the l11others really hung out or were friends other than their relationship to Taylor. In the Wards, it's the opposite no matter how hard the team tries to bond with her.

Idk, I don't have that much insight into this moment. The difference could be because she was in a much worse place when she met the Undersiders and/or was too focused on her goal to bond with the Wards, but again I don't have a ton to say. This little glimpse into the inner workings of the Chicago Wards just emotionally devastates me for some reason I can't quite articulate.

[shsl-heck]

Every time Taylor comes up, Im grabbing onto the desk so hard my knuckles turn white and frothing at the mouth. I'm so normal about this fucked up bug girl.

[shsl-heck]

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP IT'S THE BEST CHARACTER'S BIRTHDAY