#tatties recipe

[homeintennessee]

Potato - Neeps and Tatties Haggis or a beef roast go well with neeps and tatties, a traditional Scottish side dish made of mashed potatoes and swede rutabaga.

[xaviercasanueva]

Neeps and Tatties Recipe Haggis or a beef roast go well with neeps and tatties, a traditional Scottish side dish made of mashed potatoes and swede rutabaga.

[simmeringstarfruit]

Haggis in Pastry Crust with Clapshot and Whisky Cream

Our family’s take on traditional Scottish haggis – haggis pie! Served with traditional neep and tattie clapshot and a side of homemade whisky cream sauce, this haggis recipe is perfect for celebrating Robbie Burns Day, also known as Burns Supper. Jump to Recipe Printable Recipes Happy Robbie Burns Day! Today, January 25th is the birthday of renowned Scottish poet Robert Burns. You might be…

[starshipheartofg-erti]

also my insta algorithm has started recommending me some unhinged stuff like today i got some woman who thinks microwaves are bad for your kids

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Task Force 141 and Shadow Company on a long term operation together. It's Soap's turn to cook and he makes a staple: mince, tatties and peas.

One of SC snarks about it being a plate full of slop, and Soap looks visibly affronted; he peeled all those feckin' tatties by himself, and that mince? It's his ma's recipe.

Ghost is having fucking none of it. He calmly informs the merc that he's gonna clean his plate or Ghost is gonna choke him with it.

Graves looks at Price, who only blinks calmly, fails to reprimand his lieutenant, and then returns to mixing up his gravy and potatoes.

The whole of Shadow Company clear their plates. The offending merc does the washing up as an apology. Soap gives Ghost his supply of chocolate digestives as a thank you.

[shoshiwrites]

my dear, I'd like to submit a Touches prompt: "#35 grabbing the other's hand to pull them back to them" for anyone who tickles your fancy. just need that sorta passion in my life 🥹

I just want to apologize for the fact that this actually is not entirely the prompt, but was 100% inspired by it — I owe you one ❤️ Bucky Egan/War correspondent OC, also on Ao3! Set a little bit after this prompt. Featuring Jo with some new mail and Bucky having some thoughts and feelings about that.

The Clarion starts running her picture with the new pieces. 

She doesn’t hate it, but at the same time it doesn’t quite look like her, the posed portrait she’d sat for in London with her hair pinned back her uniform pressed. She’s more herself in the photos Kay takes, under the cloudy English skies. But she can’t argue with it either — a uniform means something official, and isn’t that what they’re working for? To be taken seriously, to get what the boys are given without having to fight tooth and nail for it, without jokes about lipstick or hair products or a million other things on top of it.

The problem with the picture now, though, is that everyone knows who she is. Not a celebrity, that idea is laughable, but named. Josephine R. Brandt, The Clarion’s Woman in England. 

They’re like name-tags too, the adjectives used to describe her and her fellow reporters in bite-sized news items. Marian Brenner is always petite, and Kay is statuesque. Marjory Manning is titian-haired, which always gets a laugh considering Marjory makes no secret that it comes from a bottle. Jo is brunette, and pert. That word always makes Kay choke a little on her cigarette, peering at Jo and the dark circles under her eyes.

She’s spent the last few days amongst the women of the Clubmobile, sleeping in an extra bed dragged in and photographing, rather amateurly, their truck and living quarters. They were much more accommodating to her than they should have been, especially when Jo attempted to work the fryer in the name of journalistic exploration. Thankfully she was much better at cleaning, with no qualms about rolling up her sleeves. 

Her hair still smells like grease as she sits in an empty mess hall, picking at one of her nails and ignoring the stack of letters beside her. Her photographs wouldn’t quite capture what she’d tried to in her writing: the smell of perfume and the lingering fryer grease, hair tonic and newsprint and cold evening air, the blankets and bedrolls and towels hanging, tables with books and magazines and framed photographs, small pots of rouge, rosaries, hair combs and extra socks. A sprig of chicory sitting in a drinking glass, the blue flowers starting to wilt at the edges.

A name. A picture. What she hadn’t been thinking about — fanmail. 

It was ridiculous, the pile Kay had passed along to her in London and the one she was now patently ignoring next to her elbow. Next to a copy of the paper, a newer one with the picture.

She’d always gotten responses to her pieces back home, whether that meant someone arguing with her about a labor statistic she’d quoted or offering their own version of a recipe back when she’d been on the society pages. Now, overseas, with her name and her picture clear as day, it was like a switch had been flipped.

The only thing that she didn’t have to worry about was William.

The ring was sitting at the bottom of her trunk, buried under a sweater. Tatty had offered to run it over with the Clubmobile, but Jo got worried about the tires. Helen had suggested the fryer. A WAC with strawberry blonde hair voted for a storm drain. Biddick had plans that involved Corporal Lemmons and an unknown quantity of explosives. Douglass, inexplicably, had volunteered to make neat work of it on an upcoming mission. She had no idea how he’d even found out. 

Well, she isn’t wearing it anymore, right?

“Thought I’d find you in here.”

She looks up to see Egan making his way through the doors.

“Someone looking for me?”

He glances behind him and smiles, like it’s obvious. “Yeah, me.”

Maybe she knows better by now than to ask what he’s ignoring to be here. Milk run earlier this afternoon. Not flying tomorrow. 

Isn’t it time for beers and darts, right about now?

“Just answering some mail.” Actual mail, from home. Not the other stack. 

Maybe fanmail is a generous term, she thinks. Most of it is opinions, loud, of where she should or shouldn’t be. Home. Doing war work instead if she had to do something. Some less savory suggestions. Being quiet. 

“You’re a popular correspondent,” he says, sitting down across from her. 

She snorts. 

“I’m just seeing that there’s lot of letters here.”

“Astute observation, Major.” But she’s smiling. 

“Friends back home?”

“Yeah. The rest is-” she gestures, almost sighing out the answer in a sudden yawn, the light outside the soft gold of early evening. “I don’t know. People have a lot to say.”

“They do, do they?”

“Sometimes I forget that I’m not just a disembodied voice, is all.”

He looks a little puzzled, but still amused. She throws the paper in front of him, and his eyes catch the column. He whistles. “Front page, huh.”

“They haven’t used a picture before.” She nods back at the stack of letters.

“Oh.” She can’t tell if he’s about to make a joke or not.

“Might just toss them,” she says. They’d be good for the paper pulp if nothing else.

He grabs one off the top, his expression clouding over as he reads.

“They write this kinda stuff to you?” he says after a minute. One of the ones that had ideas about where she should be, namely the writer’s bed. He tosses it down on the table.

She thinks of London, and Norwich, and Pittsburgh, and Philadelphia. “They say it, too.”

He exhales, the sour expression still on his face. Like a lemon. “Sure.”

“You didn’t get to the marriage proposals yet.”

“The what?”

“They’re in there, I promise. They’re nicer.” He laughs a little, just this side of bitter. She tries to look offended, tries to lighten the mood. “Maybe I ought to be insulted.”

“No, no, I just-”

“Just what?”

He’s tapping his foot a little, she can feel it under the table. Fidgeting.

“I just feel lucky, is all.” The question of it is clear on her face. Lucky, sure, to go through hell every day and make it back here, to the ground and the summer-faded English fields. “That you’re not just a picture to me.”

Oh.

Something feels caught in her throat; it takes what feels like too many seconds. “You’re awfully sweet.”

“I mean it.” She wishes she had a little crabapple to pick at, something to do with her hands. “Don’t think a picture could’ve kissed that good either-”

She tries to whack the back of her hand against his arm, but he pulls away — hey, too quick — before he leans forward again, pulls her face to his. 

“Not here-” she says, a little too belatedly. He’s grinning, all wolfish. His hands are warm. 

“Will you go dancing with me, then?” 

A place where they can do this, she assumes, out of sight, or amongst a crowd. She says it because it feels like something she should say. “There’s something planned here for the weekend, right?”

He makes a gentle scoffing sound. “Nah, I don’t-”

“What?”

“I mean, sure, but. You know. Just be prepared for me to keep stealing you away, ok?”

“And how will that look?”Her stomach swoops, out of something like nervousness, the feel of him close to her again. 

He looks, maybe, the most boyish she’s seen him. “Like I don’t like sharing.”

Like she makes that space for anyone else. That exception. “You can reserve a spot or two on your dance card for me,” she says, diplomacy betrayed by the half-waver of her voice. 

He assents, not entirely satisfied, but doesn’t try for another kiss. Not here, at least. She feels a chill go through her then, when he pulls away from her, lets go. 

[capricioussun]

I wrote this a few days ago and then forgot to post it ✌️

Some nice things for the uf brothers inspired by that ask, and since I'm more often than not too mean to them

> Back when Papyrus was a young teen, Sans found a walkman at the dump with some tatty earbuds. He cleaned and fixed them and found some tapes to gift it to Papyrus so he had something to help with his overstim whenever Sans wasn't with him (so long as he swore to never use it outside where someone could spring an attack while he was distracted).

> The first thing Papyrus did after becoming a guard was get warmer, sturdier clothing for Sans, and recycling their salvageable old stuff into extra blankets for him, too.

> Even though Papyrus was the one to make up a proper first aid kit, Sans is usually the one who restocks it on the DL, especially since Papyrus is the one getting hurt more often than not

> Not from either brother, but after Papyrus first joined the guard, and when Sans' drinking problem really took root, Grillby made a few unspoken gestures to reassure Papyrus that he'd keep an eye on him, and it helped probably more than Papyrus realized at first

> Sans would sneak into the labs despite his strong aversion from time to time to clear out any of the tabs Alphys kept on both of them, but predominantly for Papyrus' sake (and Alphys never really stirred any trouble about it because Asgore can keep his own damn tabs if he’s that concerned about them)

> Papyrus knows it's harder to be around monsters with LV after a judgment, and tries to avoid Sans/stay out as much as possible for a few days any time Sans has to perform one

> Mentioned it in the prior post already, but Sans mends any of Papyrus' clothes that get roughed up while working, barring the times Papyrus beats him to it

> In a similar vein, Papyrus was the one who made and stitched the patch onto Sans' jacket after Grillby gifted it to him. It's based on the dog unit's sigil (since they used to be part of it), and he used to have one too before he became lieutenant and started wearing (part of) his armor all the time

> Papyrus keeps careful track of Sans' expression/reaction whenever he "tries a new recipe" to see if he actually likes it, since Sans will lie and say he does no matter how bad it is (he keeps a list of the "recipes" Sans likes in a notebook)

> Whenever Sans scavenges, if he finds something for the both of them, he covertly gives the better quality/more functional one to Papyrus

> Papyrus will occasionally insult/shove/complain about Sans to discreetly reaffirm he still views him as his older brother, and Sans returns the favor by embarrassing/teasing/"harassing" him with jokes (because god forbid they just do those things because they are brothers)

[tiredwitchplant]

Everything You Need to Know About Veggies and Fruits: Russet Potatoes

Potato (Solanum tuberosum)

*Poisonous *Kitchen *Medical *Feminine

Folk Names: Blue Eyes, Flukes, Lapstone, Leather Jackets, Murphies, No Eyes, Pinks, Red Eyes, Rocks, Taters, Tatties

Planet: Moon

Element: Earth

Deities: Axomamma

Abilities: Image Magic and Healing

Why Poisonous?: The vines, sprouts, peelings and tuber of potatoes (the part before potatoes start to be created) are poisonous. The poison in potatoes is solanine, a glycoalkaloid poison that in even in the nightshade family that can cause gastrointestinal disturbances such as vomiting, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. Be careful to not digest potato juice but once a day.

Characteristics: Is a perennial plant that can frow to 3 ft. Has branching stems with compound leaves, white or purple flowers, green berries and swollen tubers.

History: Native to Chile, Bolivia and Peru. Many potato species were cultivated by the Quechua and Aymara people in the central Andres. It has been documented; however, that it was cultivated first by the Incas in 3000 BCE. In the early 16th century, the potatoes were then introduced to Europe by Spanish voyagers and then the New World. By the time it arrived to Spain, there was a weird rumor that potatoes were an aphrodisiac and is even mentioned in Shakespeare with that belief. Putting potato peelings outside a girl’s door during May Day (Salaman) was considered expressing contempt to her. They also act potatoes for good luck and was a symbol of dependence not just in Ireland but in other countries as well.

Growing Potatoes:

Is it easy to grow potatoes? Yes

Rating: Beginner Friendly

Seed Accessibility: Yes

How to Grow

Video Guide

Where to Get Seeds

Magical Usage:

Can be used as poppets for image magic

Carried in one’s pocket can cure toothaches and guard against rheumatism, warts and gout

Carrying in the winter time will protect against a cold

Eating a potato dish before the new year was said to bring success and propensity to the home

Medical Usage:

Taken in moderation, potato juice can help with peptic ulcers and relieve pain and acidity

The mashed-up pulp was used externally to soothe painful joints, headache, backache, skin rashes and hemorrhoids

Potato skins in India are used to treat swollen gums and heal burns

Recipes for Kitchen Witchery:

Potato Rolls – good for grounding, energy and transformation

Indian-Spiced Pea and Potato Wraps – giving intentions to spice will bring power manifestation

Grilled Potato Foil Packets with Lemon Dill Crème Fraiche – prosperity and good fortune

Sources

[knockoff-conlon]

marlene, remus, and lily are jewish in my head. so i'm gonna share my (modern) hcs!!

marlene

marlene converted when she was, like, fourteen, for remus since she viewed him as her adoptive brother. she wore a magen david around her neck at all times ever since then. she lit candles with lily every shabbat and took to learning jewish holidays and customs all the time. her favorite holiday is forever purim. she gets dressed up and her costumes always go hard. learned hebrew and yiddish from lily and remus. learned how to chant torah, megillah, and haftarah, as well as lead services. she's conservative and goes to shul with remus every weekend. one of those jews that hits the table while benching. hates fasting for holidays but does it in solidarity with lily and remus. loves kabbalat shabbat.

remus

full name is remus avichai lupin and his imah and tatti only call him avi. went into his bar mitzvah training intending to only do more than his dad did. polish heritage and put sugar on his latkes because of it. screamed like a child when he got lifted on a chair at his party. chassidic accent, despite the fact that he is not chassidic. got special tallit from his imah for his bar mitzvah. favorite holiday is channukah, forever. he has a big book full of traditional jewish recipes. can speak yiddish and hebrew. yiddish is what his parents usually speak in the house. badmouths people at his shul with marlene. has a small magen david tattooed behind his ear. he fasts but it makes him more miserable than anything. can blow shofar.

lily

most of her heritage is buried in spain. a little ukrainian, too. her name is actually liliya, but she goes by lily. she was raised in a very orthodox household. covered her hair with her scarf, starting when she was about thirteen. covered her elbows and knees too. cried when she first went to a conservative shul and was allowed to take an aaliyah. visits israel every summer with her family. lights candles every friday with her imah. reads a lot of books about judaism. favorite holiday is rosh hashanah. loves apples and honey. loves hearing the shofar blown. knows a lot about jewish theology. always says oy vey when things go wrong. raises hari very connected to his judaism.

[justanothercanuck]

Mince and tatties is a popular Scottish dish, consisting of minced beef and mashed potato. It sometimes contains other vegetables or thickening agents. It has had a longtime connection to school dinners, where the quality of the ingredients and the ability to feed a large number of children made it popular.

There is no set recipe or form of cooking and large variations can occur from cook to cook. Essentially the dish consists of varying amounts of minced beef, onions, carrots or other root vegetables, seasoning and stock. Some cooks add thickening agents such as flour, oatmeal or cornflour.

[concerningwolves]

The first time I realised just how weird people get about food was when I first got told I needed to "put a bit more weight on" by my paediatrician (a major understatement, but there we go), so I downloaded an app that tracked either weight gain or weight loss and also suggested recipes based on your goal. And my god the reviews for the weight gain recipes were RABID. The one that really sticks with me was like "These recipes are suggesting you poison yourself".

They said this because one of the breakfast suggestions was macaroni cheese with full cream milk and a bit of sugar.

There were more comments along this vein, picking out recipes like tattie cakes, because apparently fried potatoes in the morning are Wrong. I can't remember more, but I do remember scrolling for quite a while being thoroughly baffled and then checking the recipes and finding nothing to justify the horror and outrage I was seeing. I was probably twelve or thirteen at the time, and there were grown adults acting like sugar and oil and full-fat milk are poisonous or inherently evil.

And a lot of the focus was on the fact that eating these supposedly Evil Foods at breakfast somehow... Made them More Evil?

Utterly bonkers. Also makes me furious.

[scotianostra]

January 23rd is National Pie day.

Is it really a year since I last posted on this? Last year I took us on a journey of our Nations favourite, The Scotch Pie, everyone has their go to Butchers or even Bakers for theirs. The Killie Pie is legendary, The Macaroni Pie is another legend, you can still get this elsewhere, but Greggs discontinued their version in 2015. The  Mince Tattie and Baked Bean Pie was always a favourite of mine growing up, our local bakers did a great job of this, sadly the bakers is no more. And this time of year you can find Bells Steak and Haggis usually on offer at the supermarkets throughout Scotland, especially for Burns Night, which is only a couple days away.

Anyway this year I want to concentrate on the Steak Pie.

Us Scots love a steak pie to celebrate the New Year and cannot get enough of them, according to industry experts. But why has it become an annual tradition across the country?

One theory holds that steak pie became the national dish at New Years because January 1 wasn’t generally taken as a holiday so families were too busy to cook.

They would buy steak pies to feed their families instead, this continues to this day as people want a delicious meal after the previous night’s celebrations. So you could say it was essentially one of the first ready meals.

Or is it that the Steak pie is the nation’s hangover cure on what is often the roughest morning of the year for many, after a night of celebratory drinking?

Another theory is that because it is a big meal you can keep warm and serve to visitors throughout the day, as people come to the house. I don't buy into that one, we Scots always put on a spread on the table, Shortbread, Black Bun, even Dundee Cake was waiting for any first footers and others coming through the door in the wee sma' hours.

In days gone by oor mammies used to cook their own steak pies. so here's a recipe for a traditional Scottish steak pie, as seen in the main pic.

Things you’ll need to make a Scottish Steak Pie

Large Pot/Pan

Mixing Bowl

Pie Dish.

Ingredients

800g Diced Beef Stewing Steak (Approx 2lb)

2 tbsp Plain Flour

2 tbsp Olive Oil/Butter

2 Large Roughly Chopped Onions

500ml Beef Stock (Approx 2 cups)

35ml Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce, Pronounced – Wooster-sher ( Approx 0.14 cups)

1 tbsp Tomato Puree

1 tsp Dijon Mustard

Salt and Pepper to taste.

Now my mum always cheated buy buying ready made Puff Pastr, but you can make your own.

Add ons

Many Scots swear by a Steak and Sausage pie, rather than just steak alone. We don’t mind adding sausages also, but personally like to have just steak most of the time. However, this recipe is easy to adapt if you want to! We’ll share more in variations below, but you can add 4-6 sausages if you like as well.

ake your mixing bowl and toss the beef in the plain flour, this will help insulate the meat while browning as well as helping the sauce to thicken. You can season the flour to help add an extra depth of flavour if you’d like.

Heat your pan and oil/butter, once hot add the onions and cook until soft.

Once the onions are soft add the beef to brown it, this should only take a few minutes.

This process of browning simply means to lightly cook the surface of the steak to caramelize it and add a richer flavour to the meat.

Once browned add the stock, Worcester Sauce, Tomato puree, Dijon mustard and seasoning.

Bring the mixture slowly to the boil.

Once it begins to boil reduce the heat and allow to gently simmer for 2.5 hrs.

During this time stir occasionally and, if you have a gas stove that doesn’t have a low enough setting to simmer keep rotating the pan to avoid too much heat in one place.

If you’re adding sausages (see variations) then you can chop and add them about halfway through cooking. If they have a high fat content you may want to fry off in a separate pan or even boil for 10 minutes to remove some of the fat so that the pie won’t get too greasy.

Once the sauce is good and thick and the meat is breaking apart nicely tip the mixture into the pie dish, it should be roughly 3/4 full.

Preheat your oven to 180°C or 356°F, approx gas mark 4.

Cover the top of the pie dish with the rolled puff pastry, use your thumb or a fork to push down or crimp the edge of the pastry along the rim of the dish, helping to seal the mixture and the flavour in.

Make a hole in the centre of the pie to allow steam to exit during cooking.

Place your pie into the preheated oven for roughly 30 mins or until the pastry has risen and is golden brown.

You can find this recipe and more like it at https://scottishscran.com

[witchyfashion]

Welcome to a place of great magic – the kitchen!

Kitchen Witch is an invitation to see the magic in every corner of your kitchen. With the Kitchen Witch as our guide, we'll explore food, nature, magic, and transformation. We'll discover what the name of Kitchen Witch could mean to us in modern interpretations of ancient practices. May this book of stories and ideas show that there's magic in the mundane, witchcraft within your walls and the Goddess really is in the details. Within this book you'll find no recipes, but something cooked up just for you; you'll find stories – stories of magic, healing, and hearth, of feasts and fasts and fairy tales. Of poisoned apples, bewitching gingerbread, and seeing the future in a teacup...

Discover the fantastic folklore and healing properties of everyday foods: fruits, vegetables, honey, bread and nuts.

Delight in food customs and rituals from ancient Babylon, Egypt, Greece and Rome.

Meet cunning folk, herbalists, ale-wives, beer goddesses and the many faces of the Kitchen Witch through the ages.

Journey through food for every seasonal festival on the Wheel of the Year.

Enjoy fairy and folk tales of witches and saints in Scandinavia, floating apples and snapdragon in England, potato-wolves in Germany, tatty bogles and angels who drink whisky in Scotland, and a rather surprising prevalence of pancakes...

In Sarah's signature style of weaving together the magical, this exciting new book will touch on a myriad of modalities in a journey lined with folklore, fairytale and much, much food!

https://amzn.to/3WkZikj

[lovelylogans]

random distribution

The number π (/paɪ/; spelled out as "pi") is a mathematical constant that is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter, approximately equal to 3.14159. It is a transcendental number, meaning that it cannot be a solution of an equation involving only sums, products, powers, and integers. The transcendence of π implies that it is impossible to solve the ancient challenge of squaring the circle with a compass and straightedge. The decimal digits of π appear to be randomly distributed, but no proof of this conjecture has been found.

ao3 | other fics on tumblr | coffee?

warnings: mentions of baking mishaps, let me know if i’ve missed any!

pairings: none, all platonic!

words: 2,152

notes: hi, all! i wrote this for the tss fanworks collective discord january remix challenge; i took @edupunkn00b’s fic 3.14159265 ... and had some fun writing some fluff for it! thank u to @teacupfulofstarshine for the “patriarchy” pun in here! edu, i hope you enjoy it!

⁂

Pi day, in Patton’s mind, has reached transcendental levels of importance.

Previously, the attention he’d paid it had been potential for puns and potential for pies—both matters near and dear to his heart, of course, and an opportunity for great, low-effort fun.

Say what you will about Patton’s endeavors today: they certainly cannot be called low-effort.

He’s done research on best crusts to pair with each flavor profile. He’s gotten deep into baking blogs’ pros and cons of blind bakes. He’s hauled enough flour, sugar, and jam into the cupboards to best maintain a surprise to pass as workouts for a full week. Those bags of flour are not Eton mess-ing around!

He even, in a move that he thinks would make Logan particularly proud, made a spreadsheet to list out all the baking timings and when he needs to start each pie.

Because while he is doing this to make sure Logan feels heard, he also wants to take the particular recent incident to heart; he wants to make sure they all feel heard. And, while Pi Day is definitely skewed in Logan’s favor, he can’t help but throw in a few gestures for the rest of his favorite guys.

So that means boo-berry pie for Virgil, and strawberry rhubarb pie for Roman, a good ol’ apple pie for Thomas, and an interesting recipe he’d found when he’d gotten sidetracked on the blogs; a lemon meringue galette sounds just about perfect for Janus.

And that means, though the flavor definitely isn’t within Patton’s particular profile—ugh!—haggis for Remus.

(What are tatties?! What are neeps?! Where is he meant to get groundnut oil??? What is the proper measurement for a dram, and should he even really be pouring a dram for Remus anyway? Patton’s Google search history is really getting to some areas of the internet it doesn’t usually get to stray into!) 

Patton decides to just. Not really look at it too closely. Or smell it too much. And to maybe clean out the oven between bakes to make sure the other pies don’t taste too haggis-y. He can’t imagine a blackberry-pomegranate jam pie is going to blend well with the lingering scents of sheep liver and suet.

So Patton sets his alarm to purr (a purring cat alarm clock! what will people come up with next!) at a truly ridiculous time of day. 

It’s actually a little bit painful, waking up that early. Ugh. The sun isn’t even up. Patton can still see the light of the moon filtering through his blinds. It’s so cozy in his bed, and out there it’s so cold, and he’s tired, gosh darn it. 

It’s a good thing he sets two alarms; the cat alarm within his reach and, in a move of forethought that usually eludes him, a second one on his phone that’s out of his reach so that he’ll need to actually get up to turn it off. He finds himself dozing off in that space of three minutes between blaring, but even as the second one starts, he thinks that might have been just what he needed.

More sleep. 

But that’s going to have to be contained to three minutes and three minutes only. Because there’s a brilliant, bespectacled brainiac who has a year-long hankering for both jams and pies, and this is THE day to cater to both of those interests.

So even while he’s debating going back to sleep, he thinks for Logan, and that staves off the last sweet temptations of warm blankets and more blessed, blessed sleep.

So he blearily pulls on one of his many blue polos, ties his cat hoodie over his shoulders, and descends the stairs, headphones in hand and playlists prepped, ready to tackle the pies of the day.

He turns on his headphones and puts on a playlist Roman made, preheats the oven, washes his hands, and lays out saran wrap he can flour to roll out doughs (thank you, baking blogs, for that tip on how to get a lower level of mess!) and then gets sidetracked because he could have sworn they had a rolling pin, where is it—

(It’s tucked into the drawer where they usually keep a mishmash of other unusual kitchen supplies, which means that Patton also gets to find a little juicer which will save him time when it comes to juicing lemons for Janus’ galette. Neat!)

—and goes about rolling out the first of many, many doughs.

All made with butter, flour, sugar, salt, ice water (substituted about half of that water with vodka for some, which apparently makes a flakier, more tender crust? He’s interested to see if that one actually works) most of them the night before, so that the doughs had time to chill, but he still has a couple quicker crusts (made of graham crackers, mostly) that need to be assembled, like, now.

Also, he’s going through so. much. butter. Holy moo-ly is that a lot of butter! These pies are gonna be delicious, though, you’d butter believe it!

Patton laughs to himself. He has a feeling he’ll be doing that a lot today.

He packs away the first of the pie fillings (old-fashioned jelly pie, one of the two blackberry-pomegranates, and Virgil’s boo-berry) and sets the first three pies in the oven. He’s on a roll!

Or. Hang on.

Patton immediately sidetracks starting on the second batch to look up if pie rolls are a thing (they are, of course they are, what will those recipe bloggers come up with next!) and takes a few moments to deliberate if adding in a whole new baked good would be worth it for one pun.

He decides to wait and see if he has enough leftover dough for that. But he is very tempted.

Patton gets into a pretty good rhythm, really; by the time the first three pies come out of the oven, the next three (Roman’s strawberry rhubarb, Thomas’ apple, and a peach mango) are rarin’ to go, and he’s even got a head start on Janus’ fancy galette crust!

It’s more fun and less fussy than he thought it’d be, really. The crust recipes he’s found for this recipe is much less fussy than the needs-to-be-chilled-forever pie crust he’d been working with before his baking research for today. 

Patton hums happily along to the latest song on the playlist because he doesn’t know the words well enough to sing as he carefully pinches and pleats the dough.

The filling, on the other hand, is very fussy. Why is meringue so dramatic? Patton overbeats it for, like, maybe five seconds and it immediately deflates on him. 

Okay, more like thirty seconds, but he wasn’t sure what foamy was meant to look like, he was just trying to be sure!

But anyway, he manages the second attempt at meringue pretty well, or at least well enough to manage. He manages to transfer the meringue to the galette crust with minimal spillage. Woo-hoo!

He has to pause in brushing egg yolk along the crust to take out the pies and swap in the three newest (another old-fashioned jelly pie, Janus’ galette, and a blind bake for the french silk that’ll quickly go into the freezer).

He’s so in the zone that he doesn’t even notice until he’s taking out the latest old-fashioned jelly pie, sniffing it and frowning at the incorrect smell, that he’d completely switched around the two containers they use to hold salt and sugar.

Patton sighs, staring down at the ruined pie. Oh well.

He hesitates.

It’d be a shame for it to go to waste, he guesses.

He folds, and takes in a forkful of pie, before pulling a face and leaning to spit it out in the sink. Yuck!

He quickly wraps it up with foil and adds a post-it note on top that says FOR REMUS: SALTY?

Patton hopes he’ll like it, otherwise people might get salty about missing out on what could have been a perfectly good pie.

So he gets started on an extra old-fashioned jelly pie; good thing for that extra dough, but he guesses that means no pie rolls. Oh, well! He can still make the pun while knowing about their existence, even if he won’t have a physical prop.

All’s sel that ends sel.

(Get it, sel? Like sel gris? It’s some kind of French salt, Patton thinks. According to Google, anyway. And it rhymes with all’s well that ends well? No? Ah, Patton can admit that’s not one of his best puns. He’ll keep workshopping it before he cracks a joke to Remus.)

But the rest of the baking goes great! He even remembers what each piece of Scottish lingo is for each ingredient of the haggis! 

There’s no more salt-for-sugar level catastrophes; the closest mixup he has is misremembering which way he was overlaying a lattice, and that’s fixed easily enough even if the lines aren’t as straight as they are in magazines.

There’s a lot of not straight in this household, though, so Patton figures everyone will be okay with that.

He even manages to finish ahead of schedule! Take that, Great British Baking Show stressful rush music that was starting to play in his mind! He bets Mary Berry’s blue eyes would sparkle at him in grandmotherly pride! Prue Leith would happily tap the countertop with the flat of her hand if she tasted one his pies!

Earning a Paul Hollywood handshake? Patton doesn’t know about that one.

But that’s to Patton’s preference. He really isn’t sure about that Paul Hollywood. Something about the judgings he doles out. And why is his judgment more heavily weighted than Prue’s, anyway? Prue’s an incredibly accomplished baker! 

It’s that darn pastry-archy working, Patton bets. Just because Prue’s not queen of scones or something doesn’t mean her opinion matters less than the silly king of bread.

Patton might have said so, really, during their latest bingewatch of the show, except it’s not a particularly common opinion. He isn’t sure how much his fellow sides prefer Paul Hollywood to Prue, though. If he says how much he prefers Prue and Mary to Paul, then someone whose favorite judge was the batter latter might take it like Patton’s enacted the Pi-ides of March.

He manages to settle most of the pies, goes about scooping in cold fillings for the chillier pies that need to be in the fridge (French silk, a peanut butter-chocolate pie, banana cream, and a very promising Twix pie he’d found—those blogs, really, what will they come up with next? Patton hopes all of them have been sent flours for their efforts!)

Patton spends the rest of the morning tidying up the kitchen of stray flour and sugar, arranging the pies in a flavor order that makes the most sense of him, (with the salt pie far in the back) and trying to pick out which of their dining utensils would be cutest to use with each pie, watching the sunrise filter in through the windows.

Ooh, he can’t wait to see the look on all of their faces!

⁂

And he does get to see the looks on their faces; the surprise, the pleased smiles, the “mmm!”s as they eat their specialized pies, Logan’s soft smiles at him when he probably thought Patton wasn’t looking, and Patton’s happier than… well, happier than a sweet-toothed sugar lover in his kitchen, currently full of pies, pies, and more pies.

And dirty dishes. But that’s less important to the metaphor, and he can take care of that pretty quickly! Just… later.

What? It’s not like they can have Pi Day without trying to seek out other pie-themed foods!

(It’s mostly pizza.)

At the end of the day, when everyone else has gone up to bed, when Patton’s loading the dishwasher, he pauses.

There’s one more covered dish than there was this morning.

A chocolate chip cookie pie for our favorite dad guy!

—Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil

P.S.: Your gestures of celebration are appreciated. —Logan.

Patton beams a bright, silly smile, briefly tracing his fingers over their signatures, then carefully cuts himself a slice of chocolate chip cookie pie.

It’s delicious. Still a little warm—so it must have been baked recently, probably when he’d fallen asleep on the couch a bit, oops—gooey, chocolatey throughout, and the perfect marriage of a pie and a cookie. Patton wiggles happily as he eats every last delicious crumb of his slice, making sure to carefully wrap it back up and place it amongst the other pies.

He takes the note, though. That’s going somewhere special.

And as he falls asleep, full of sugar and all the good things, he knows he’s going to sleep well after a day of baking and eating and making sure Logan knows he’s appreciated.

Even if he has silly dreams about the moon turning into a big, silver pie.

[krenenbaker]

Recipes for Dove (and others, too)

This is a small selection of recipes that I put together for @dove-da-birb. They are some of the recipes that I and my family use, mainly vegetarian, but also with a few non-vegetarian options. I tend to adapt these a bit when I make them, usually adding more of the seasonings and aromatics, but the recipes are a good basis to build off of.

The recipes are from The Ultimate Vegetarian Cookbook, The Paleo Diabetes Diet Solution, and a couple websites (which I've linked).

Recipe Websites I Often Use

The 1940s Experiment - A website containing a variety of recipes from 1940s Wartime Britain. They can be a little hit-or-miss, but I linked a few of my favourites below. They're definitely rather British in nature, so may or may not appeal. Many of the recipes are wither vegetarian, or have a vegetarian option.

Just One Cookbook - A HUGE collection of Japanese recipes, from mains, to sides, to desserts, to a whole lot of other dishes. There are a lot of recipes that I've enjoyed from here!

Sides and Starches

Tattie Scones (Tippitiwychett) - I LOVE this recipe. It's just a really good starch to have with a meal!

Mock Black Pudding (The 1940s Experiement) - One of the many "mock" foods of the era, this is a fried, seasoned oat patty. It's nice with either veggies and a protein for dinner, or with eggs and tomatoes for a savoury breakfast.

Lemon Garlic Pasta (Pinch and Swirl) - Just a nice, simple pasta recipe. I generally add some spinach towards the end of the cooking process to wilt a little, and it's also really tasty if made (significantly) spicier. Roasting the garlic beforehand also adds another layer of richness to the dish, but it's not necessary.

Mains (Vegetarian)

Mushroom risotto (Recipe Tin Eats) - I posted about this the other day, but it's a really rather nice recipe if you enjoy risotto and/or mushrooms :)

Mock Goose (the 1940s Experiment) - Not goose, but a baked lentil dish! It's surprisingly nice, especially topped with cheese in the last few minutes of baking.

Mock Crab (The 1940s Experiment) - Again, not crab, but a cheesy scrambled egg dish. It's nice on toast as a quick lunch, with some fresh veg as a side. I would definitely recommend using less margarine/butter, as it can get a bit too oily otherwise.

Masoor Dahl (Choosing Chia) - This is an alright basis for this recipe, but I usually add about double the amount of seasoning (if not more). It's a quick recipe, though, so it's nice in that way.

Tofu Katsu Curry (Okonomi Kitchen) - I'm a HUGE fan of curries, especially Japanese curries. This recipe, with breaded tofu cutlets, is a nice recipe, and I often use it. I usually just make triangles, rather than the "cutlet" shape suggested on the website, and I also make "family style" curry (as in this recipe). (Also, Okonomi Kitchen is another website with a lot of good vegetarian/vegan dishes!)

Curried Squash Soup - I don't remember what this exact recipe is like, but you can alter the seasoning to suit your tastes ^w^ (Using frozen, cubed squash is a really good option here!)

Vegetarian Bolognese - You can use canned beans instead of dried, and though they won't have the bay leaf flavouring, it's a quicker way to make this sauce. I'd also recommend adding some heat, either with pepper flakes, fresh hot peppers, or canned chipotles.

Roasted Ratatouille - You can of course just use normal diced tomatoes for this. It won't have the same smokiness, but it's still just as good!

Mains (non-Vegetarian)

Greek-Style Turkey Burgers - My family makes these into meatballs, usually. They also need more seasoning than is called for in the recipe, by quite a bit. (Mint is also a nice addition to these!)

Baked Haddock with Peppers and Tomatoes - This recipe is more me just putting the concept in this collection, of white fish baked in a chunky tomato sauce. It's always just a nice, simple meal to have, especially with some rice or wild rice.