#tatiana and curt propaganda

[straightbaittournament]

honorary mention because they should have been part of this bracket:

Agent Curt Mega and Tatiana Slohzno from Spies Are Forever (it’s a musical)

They have typical Bond-esque flirting, but Curt just sucks at being a stereotypical 50s bond kind of spy so it’s just kind of sad.

Curt’s mother ships them.

They have The Most Awkward Love Song Ever™️ and they kiss and he reveals that he’s gay (and Tati is an ace lesbian even though they don’t say it in canon in this essay I will-). Then they become friends.

JUST LISTEN TO THIS FUCKING SONG OK?!

op is already aware, but for anyone who doesn't know, curt and tatiana are on the bracket and will be posted today

[szollibisz]

I'm a big mush and I forgot to send you something for the ask game, so for Curt and Owen:

-33- redeeming qualities

I see my elusive lover spirit is being called upon after all my haterism towards these two <3

I wanna preface by saying that a lot of their generally positive/neutral qualities unfortunately become twisted into bad qualities due to the times they were living in and the lifestyle they led, but I'm still going to mention said traits as good. And also that most of this pertains to pre fall, since it really brought out the worst in them, and minimised many of these otherwise good qualities.

Curt:

- His optimism. It's mentioned multiple times by other characters in the show, but he truly is a very hopeful person, who wants to do good in the world. I feel like his aggressive optimism might've saved him and Owen a few times. Since Owen is very logical, he may get lost in trying to figure out how to get out of a tricky situation, and may even become overcome with a sense of dread after not finding a good solution, but Curt has this almost naive hope, a sense of being untouchable when together with Owen, so he may make impulsive choices that may not seem logical at first, but end up saving them in the end, or generally help Owen relax until he can properly figure out his plans.

- Being caring and affectionate. It's clear throughout the show that the people he loves, he loves very much and that when he's not in his post-fall depression spiral he's quite personable. He initiates the hug after him and Tatiana agree to be friends, and while she's hesitant he doesn't seem awkward about it at all, which to me comes across as both a. He's used to being like this with people, close, friendly etc and b. He really needed a hug which you know. He does. But yeah, overall when he's not trying to hide behind his macho spy persona too much, his kindness shows through. (Chronic case of kind but not nice most of the time)

- Spontaneity/thinking on the spot. I explained most of this in the optimism paragraph, but yeah, to elaborate that's not just about missions, but the way he generally lives his life. While it does mean he's kinda unreliable, it also means he's always ready to do things and enthusiastic about everything. He's the kind of guy that plans a week long vacation from scratch in like an hour, and even if there are many faults in the plan he will still find a way to make it enjoyable. Also ties in to being sociable and constantly set on having a good time.

- Helpful. I think much of his youth was about helping people, and making up for the things he did wrong/lacked in. He genuinely wants people to be happy, he's just at odds with himself which constantly ends up causing trouble. He gets bad grades, he gets in fights etc etc. He tries to fix it all by being a helpful member of his community. Imo it's not just his hero complex and McCarthyism that fuels his need to be a spy and make a difference, it's a genuine hope for a better world and wanting better things for people.

Owen:

- Logical. Pretty self explanatory, we see it a lot in a1p1, but it's also part of his entire world view. He overanalyzes every feeling and every thought he has and he has a very specific idea of how things work now and how things should work ideally. His logic gives him the capacity to change these ideals, albeit not easily. He's still less susceptible to propaganda than Curt, purely on account of the constant self checking. I think he's the kind of guy that wants to hear multiple perspectives before making a decision, especially since he himself is in a marginalized community, and knows how the most popular opinion on something is not necessarily the "right one"

- Devoted. Whether to ideals or a person this man is all in. Since he is so logical, he often justifies his (very intense) feelings with facts and is more firm in his beliefs than a lot of people are, shaken out of them very rarely. This is especially true with Curt, who he can't stop loving even after the fall. He'd do basically anything for him, or the other ideals he has. So all I'm saying is, if there is only one loyal man in the world it is Owen.

- Detail oriented/persistent. He's very good at focusing on the little things, which is why he's such a good spy and actor. He knows how to pick very specific character quirks to get people talking or pay attention to the small mannerisms of his targets to catch them in lies and whatnot. He's also very organized because of this, having specific methods for everything, from packing his clothes to torturing information out of someone. It's also useful in his relationships, it makes him seem sort of insane and obsessive (he is) but he remembers every innocuous detail about Curt, and he cares for him according to those. Often Curt won't even say things, Owen will just pick up on the and remember for later, like watching how much sugar Curt puts in his coffee and making it the exact same way for him next time.

- Adaptability. He could survive anywhere anytime, because honestly, even though he's a mess post fall I still think he managed better than 99% of people would. Just cause he doesn't win the idgaf war doesn't mean it isn't crazy he survived and managed to carve some semblance of a life out for himself. Even before the fall he had to survive ww2 era London, spying, A Situationship and so on. He can stay mostly composed and rational in most situations, until he figures out what to do, and if not he has Curt to rely on for moral support.

There are more for both of them but I want to keep this. Well not short and sweet it's already not short but yeah.

[queerplatonicshipshowdown]

Round 2, Match 10

The Doctor and Missy (Thoschei) from Doctor Who vs. Curt Mega and Tatiana Slozhno from Spies Are Forever!

Propaganda for Thoschei:

They’re best friends. They’re enemies. They are the last two of their species. They find each other again and again, and even when they are at odds they find comfort in one another. They flirt heavily but also say they are like siblings because they’ve grown up together. Their relationship is so so good to me as a qpp person myself.

Propaganda for Curt and Tatiana:

just listen to "Doing This"

[friendship-showdown]

Round of 32: Battle #2

Propaganda:

Curt Mega and Tatiana Slozhno (Spies Are Forever): they're spies who fight nazis together. they're reckless himbo and awkward girlboss solidarity. they tried kissing once because of heteronormativity but quickly stopped cause he's gay and she's probably a lesbian so they became best friends instead

Roger and Lyra (His Dark Materials): no propaganda submitted

[bestfictionaldivorce]

Since the poll is almost over, I’m here with some Curtwen propaganda of my own

There is an incredibly Homoerotic scene where Curt is being tortured by “The Deadliest Man Alive”. And who is The Deadliest Man Alive but Owen himself. The song that is sung during it is incredible. It’s called “The Torture Tango” and it’s so so so effective. Especially the three-part harmony at the end with Curt, Owen, and Tatiana.

and the song “One Step Ahead” just REEKS of divorce. “You know you broke my heart” HELLO IS THAT NOT THE MOST DIVORCED THING YOUVE HEARD? and “I liked you better when you were dead” IS SUCH A DIVORCED THING TO SAY.

anyway Curtwen divorce of all time imo

ALSO THEYRE LITERALLY MY ICON, HELLO?

[smytherines]

Oh my god, one of my favorite mutuals knows what I'm talking about, hell yes!!! Thank you Hyl!!

There's some really interesting options too, because we could have their innies working at Chimera headquarters, doing the same office stuff they do on Severance, going down the elevator, etc, which already has a ton of interesting implications.

OR, perhaps their innies are spies, or Chimera's equivalent? [Insert cryptic comment about what the OTC makes possible]

So pre-fall we have Curt working for A.S.S. and Owen working for MI6. Owen falls, is captured by the Russians, tortured, gets bought by Chimera, recovery time, goes through the same dark spiral as canon Owen. Let's say all that takes about a year.

Meanwhile, Curt has retired from A.S.S., and he takes what he believes is a severed job as a security consultant. Not because he really wants to work, he's just desperate to turn his mind off to escape the constant crushing grief and guilt

outie!Curt would have no idea what sort of work his innie was actually doing (and wouldn't want to ask questions because he feels like the severance is helping him), but Curt M. is still fundamentally Curt, so he ends up having to spend a lot of time in the break room before he starts ~behaving~

After Owen is healed up (as much as he can be), his superiors at Chimera suggest that he undergo Severance because they claim it will help him remain detached in the field, prevent panic attacks and spiraling and whatnot. And of course Owen would be desperate for any relief from the part of his mind that is constantly fixated on how Curt lied to him and left him for dead. Even if he never gets to experience it, I think the idea of a perfectly emotionally detached version of himself who can focus solely on doing the job without all of Owen's human frailties would be deeply appealing to him (y'know, kinda like he wants to be as DMA in the show)

Just thought of this-- what if it's safehouses that activate the switch? Like Chimera has safehouses all over the world, and they're basically just shacks divided into two totally separate spaces. So one agent shows up, gets locked into one side, presses a button, and once the other agent shows up and is locked in and presses their button, the switch activates and a pathway opens up between the two areas. Gives us our weird unsettling trigger mechanism while still doing spy shit. It would somewhat break the isolation element of severance, but they would be focused on maintaining cover and staying secretive because spies, so I think the tradeoff could work.

Anyways, so Curt M. is finally more or less compliant after so much time in the breakroom. He desperately wants to do good, so he buys into the Chimera Kier-like cult propaganda that tells him he is saving the world, etc. He's on the job about a year when he starts being put on missions with a newly severed spy-- Owen C.

I think this could be really interesting, because they would kinda switch positions as innies vs outies. Outie!Owen is climbing the ranks of Chimera's corporate structure, amassing power, scheming, and so on. He considers Owen C. a thing, not a person. Just another tool to be used to get what he wants. But Owen C. is still fundamentally Owen. He can't help but question things. Outie!Owen is totally ideologically committed to Chimera because of everything he has survived, but Owen C. has no such loyalty. He wants to know who they are, what they're doing, what Chimera is. He is the new worker who cannot stop pushing the limits.

And maybe Curt takes a shift or two in the breakroom to cover for the new guy, because he doesn't know the rules yet. Outie!Curt would be horrified if he knew the work they were doing, but between the breakroom and the propaganda, Curt M. has bought into the bullshit

Oh shit! Originally I was gonna suggest Tatiana and Barb as an Irving and Burt type of situation (which I still think could work), but what if Tatiana is the Petey?? What if she [redacted] and starts trying to make contact?

Oughh I have like a million more ideas but I'll leave it there for now. I do think it would be super interesting from either side though!

I love this au so much though!! It has elements of Mark S. and Hilly R., Mark S. and [redacted], and Irving and Burt

the worst au is the one based on a show nobody else in your fandom has seen. Mr. Smy and I just finished Severance and let me tell you the idea of a severed curtwen working together and not knowing that their "outies" knew each other and loved each other and lost each other is gonna be running laps in my mind for a minute

The basic premise is that if you get severed your consciousness is split between work (the "innie") and your personal life (the "outie") and they are completely separate and distinct. The innie only knows their first name and last initial, has no memory of the outside world whatsoever. Neither part of your consciousness remembers what the other part knows or does.

So imagine post-fall they both take jobs as severed workers (substitute Chimera for Severance's Lumon). In the outside world Curt is mourning Owen so badly that he needs to take a job where his consciousness shuts off for half the day just to survive it. On the outside Owen is spiraling into rage and grief and violence. But on the inside Curt M. and Owen C. are slowly becoming friends again, becoming more than friends, blissfully unaware of their baggage from the outside world but still trapped in a hellish existence they have no hope of escaping from

[the-warmesthello]

ok but i would love to see something where one of tatiana's siblings was working in the facility when the banana incident happened. when she finds out, how does she react? when she mentions it and curt doesn't bat an eyelid about the workers he killed until she tells him that one of her family members died because of him, how does that call her feelings about her friendship with him and the concept of 'moving on' into question? how does curt evaluate his own morals when he sees how she responds?

thinking this because in a sequel au, owen can say all he wants that curt doesn't really care about human life, just certain people, and curt wouldn't listen to him; in part because he's too clouded by ideology to see it (and projects that onto owen) and in part because he thinks owen would just say anything to be hurtful (true but he's right). but if tatiana, his friend, someone on his side, pointed it out, would it even be different?

i kind of think he'd be too stubborn to go back on it, he's so fixated on being the best and being the good guy that he couldn't stand being this wrong about such an important thing.

[it-hurts-because-it-mattered]

Okay, so I was talking to the wonderful @fuck-yeah-firebringer​ about Spies are Forever and we got on to my interpretation of Owen, then she convinced me I should post all my ranting about it.

Essentially, I don’t think Owen was a villain. (Not just that he’s sympathetic or “good deep down inside”, but genuinely not a villain and actually at least as heroic as Curt, possibly moreso.)

Before I even start I’ll acknowledge that he’s clearly an antagonist regardless of his morality; he’s working against Curt at every turn and also working on personal revenge against him. But I’m going to argue that Curt is on the wrong side of that struggle, and that Owen has a legitimate right to revenge.

First thing’s first: Chimera, and the plan that drives the plot. Owen somehow survives his fall and the subsequent explosion and, after a while of presumably recovering physically and certainly working through his feelings of anger and betrayal, he decides that what he’s going to take away from that night is a lesson about what happens when people are allowed to operate with minimal oversight, less accountability, and an almost mandatory surplus of arrogance. He himself spends the night casually torturing his lover, before the two of them jovially maim a man and tell him he should be thanking them, and that’s treated as charming and par for the course. Then Curt decides to needlessly blow up the building, fully intending to kill everyone inside, and proceeds to drink on the job while making a game of secretly setting the timer dangerously short, and seemingly gets his partner killed with his recklessness. 

After this decision, he joins Chimera. All we know about Chimera is that it’s a diverse group of powerful people pooling their resources and influences to try and make a better world. Because this comes from Owen, we assume that this is actually some sinister conspiracy, but why should it be? All we see them endeavouring to do is break down the way spies operate (at the height of the Cold War, I might add) because it leaves way too much collateral damage by inventing the internet and allowing the intelligence community to use bugs and computers for gathering their intel, instead of using armed men. And Barb is working on this exact same technology on behalf of the US! It’s not as though we’re supposed to believe there’s something inherently horrifying about it. (Plus, you know, we live in a world where it actually was invented and we generally consider it to be a very positive thing.)

Next let’s move on to his time undercover as The Deadliest Man Alive. He has exactly three on-stage kills that aren’t nazis: a man who’s killed over 1400 people, including his colleague in cold blood literally 10 seconds ago, and undoubtedly deserved to die. The useless prince who... Okay, didn’t deserve it, and that’s clearly an example of the kind of collateral damage that Owen is working to make obsolete, but in the context of a Cold War spy story political assassination is kind of value-neutral, neither good nor bad, and there are plenty of ways you could argue it was for the greater good considering how utterly useless he’s supposed to be. (I’m not actually making any of those arguments, this is not a good moment for Owen and I’m not going to seriously defend killing an innocent man, however useless he was, but given how morally grey spies in general are, I don’t think this really qualifies him as even slightly villainous.) And finally, the Informant. I don’t have any kind of canonical excuse for this one (apart from as a necessity for him to escape? But that’s pretty flimsy) except to say that Curt and Tati have both done far worse, and that we’re working with some very morally grey characters. However I personally think this killing was entirely justified, as I thoroughly distrust Informant.

(I can’t really articulate or properly defend that distrust, there's just something about all his disguises/roles and how seriously he takes them as roles while also being kind of terrible at his job (leaving the plans lying around, causing Curt problems all through the casino, being a complete mess at the meeting just before he's killed), and his whole thing about not recognising the man in the mirror seems ominous. Plus he had literally no relationship with Curt beyond two brief, not too friendly, jobs together (cafe and casino) but signed up with him to throw his career away and risk his life? I just generally get a shady feeling from him. (Bonus points for during One More Shot when he cuts himself off mid-sentence then says he forgot what I was going to say, I think it was going to be something incriminating that almost slipped out because he was drunk but he caught himself in time.) I choose to think that he was some kind of double agent, or setting himself up to betray Curt, or some other issue, and that Owen knew about it and killed him for it. After all, DMA seems to see straight through his disguise in the meeting and be intentionally making him uncomfortable.)

Of course, there’s the matter of his reputation and his kill record. To start with, my biggest assumption here is that all his kills (at least as DMA) have been under comparable circumstances to his on stage kills. Either necessary collateral damage in a way that’s par for the course as a spy, or people (e.g. nazis and mass murders) who deserve killing. Secondly... There’s no way that he’s killed over 1400 people in the 5 years since he survived the fall. Which means that either he’s claiming kills he hasn’t made, or the number is accurate and he’s including his kills from his years working for the British. (Or both, and he’s claiming unsolved murders to kill the place of his old kills because he’s undercover.) Unless he’s claiming kills that aren’t his, the Agency’s supposed file of his victims is obvious bullshit. And even if he is making false claims, it’s still hard to believe that they would have poured the resources into tracking and recording all of these kills, along with pictures and ages of the victims, yet been unable to actually catch him. All of this is to say that basically I call bullshit on the “penchant for females ages fourteen to twenty two” line; it’s either Agency propaganda or DMA falsely claiming those kills to bolster his reputation. He’s definitely a killer, but so’s Curt, and so’s Tati, and we have no reason to think he’s been any more cruel and callous about his killing than they have.

Essentially... A spy is a spy, forever, whatever. Owen didn’t stop being a spy, he only started working for a different agency; one that seems to genuinely be set on building a better world instead of gathering national power.

And this leaves us with the revenge against Curt. Curt nearly got him killed, and then left him for dead. This would be bad from anyone, but between what they owed each other as lovers and the obligations of partners to look out for each other, it’s a particularly terrible thing. He had every right to pursue and enact his revenge, yet he could never quite pull the trigger.

In part 3, Curt is rusty and let’s DMA get inside his grip, at which point he unloads his gun in a panic. Owen lets him unload every single shot, before easily taking the gun out of Curt’s hand, so he probably could have taken it at any point. Even then, Curt is left unarmed, surrounded by Owen’s allies, while Owen still has (at least) his machete, yet he leaves Curt unharmed and runs off.

At the end of the first act, he has Curt at his mercy, and tortures him. This is definitely him getting his revenge. But it’s also a way to put off actually killing him, and once he’s got the blade to Curt’s throat, he’s still so, so slow about it that I’m not at all certain he would have gone through with it if Tati hadn’t intervened.

After he kills Informant, he could have easily shot Tati and Curt too, but instead he lets them go.

Throughout Cut To The Chase, he seems to be hugely more skilled than Curt with every single weapon they use, implying that he could have killed Curt at any time but instead is just playing with him.

And then the final confrontation... Curt was utterly defeated and vulnerable. And there were several dramatically appropriate moments for Owen to finally do it... But every time he let the moment pass, and kept on talking, because he could never actually pull the trigger. Then Curt disarms him, and he doesn’t even seem to care too much, and then Curt coldly executes the lover he betrayed and abandoned.

I won’t even get into all the details and intricacies of Owen’s emotions throughout that penultimate section, that part is easy enough for everybody to watch and see his mixed feelings, though different people will have different opinions on exactly what means what. (Me and @fuck-yeah-firebringer found ourselves precisely reversed on which lines we each thought were angry and which we thought were loving, so that seems like a lost cause to specify. :’) )

I'm not trying to say that he's a particularly good person or anything, but I don't think he qualifies as an actual villain, and I think he actually comes off as more heroic than Curt, all things considered. They’re both spies, with all the moral issues that follow, but Owen is working towards what seems to be a more noble goal, seems to be a lot more careful than Curt “we gotta blow this whole facility” Mega about who gets hurt along the way, and can’t bring himself to kill his old lover, who in turn shows no hesitation before executing him.

[straightbaittournament]

may the best bait win! propaganda under the cut:

tatiana and curt:

They have a whole song where it seems that they're going to get together just because he's a girl and she's a guy, but in the end Curt comes out to her and she's supportive (which is AMAZING because it's the 1960's) Doing This. That is all.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT-EpN911GA

There’s an entire song (Doing This) which is about the two of them feeling like they need to be in a relationship due to societal pressures. But neither of them really want to and, after they kiss, decide that they’re much better as friends. Not to mention that Curt’s canonical gay as well.

their first few interactions are them flirting with each other, and they have an entire song about how they feel like they should kiss because heteronormativity. but curt is gay, and this is revealed after they kiss, and tatiana isnt CANONICALLY gay but pretty much the entire fandom interprets her that way and the creators have reposted fanart of her with the lesbian flag. spies are forever breaks so many action/spy film stereotypes and the biggest one is curt & tatiana. curt is the suave, james bond type "womaniser" protagonist and tatiana is the cool femme fatale who is lowkey kinda mean to him. in anything ever, they would get together because obviously a man and a woman cannot work together without making out!!!! they even flirt a little to start with, and their duet "doing this" is just poking fun at heteronormativity. and curt is gay, canonically, it is a MAJOR plot point. they flirt at first, then they feel like they should kiss, then they kiss, its bad, curt is gay (NOT CANON but tatiana is also maybe gay) and they just end up best friends. also the "you dont need to hide behind a beard to make you look cool" line goes so hard. their friendship is so beautiful and nice and they just care about each other alot but in a way that is so very platonic

They literally start making out and stop when Curt reveals he's gay. They sing a whole song about it. It's dope.

mako, korra, and asami:

it's that one meme where the guy ignores his girlfriend to check out another girl, only the two girls get to know each other and get together. S1/2 has love triangle drama between who Mako will be with (Korra or Asami). S3 no one is together but Korra and Asami become really close friends. S4 Korra and Asami are together. Mako is single. Like the only example of exes being good friends and Not getting back together, as well as giving the middle finger to heteronormative assumptions when after the love triangle is over, the two girls get together

[sailors-fightinginthedancehall]

Little more propaganda because they're still losing, in which I basically tell the entire plot of Spies are Forever

Curtwen are canon! They were partners until Owen slipped on a banana peel and was presumed dead for four years, four years which Curt spent an emotional wreck. He grew a beard, became more of an alcoholic, quit his job, the whole thing.

Four years later he decides to go back to work because he thinks it's what Owen would want him to do and he's faced with the Deadliest Man Alive, who tortures the shit out of him (Torture Tango) and shoots him as he makes his escape with Tatiana, who's really cool and I love her sm

Plot happens (I'm doing this quick because I really should be studying lol, my exam's in just over an hour) and it's revealed Owen is the Deadliest Man Alive. Think of that for a moment.

In the Torture Tango he sings 'I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time' because he's been waiting for four years because he hates Curt now. He tortured his ex-boyfriend, he didn't want him to go back to spying because he hates all spies - I think about them a lot.

After an extremely gay chase scene 'Feeling a whole lot of deja vu again' while staring at each other's lips I mean COME ON - 'You know you broke my heart' god they're so gay and messed up. (One Step Ahead)

Basically because I know that is a lot lol, why Curtwen should sweep this whole thing, in summary:

-Canon

-Enemies

-Really, really gay

-It would make me happy. Please. For me.

For your consideration

[szollibisz]

tatiana 8 and 9 for character asks?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Ok, so I am equally as guilty of this as everyone else, but the worst crime people (including me) do is ignore her. Like ok, I have so many theories and hcs for her, but I just never end up posting them and I never make as much art for her as I should, but to me she's just as interesting as Curt and Owen. We get just as much if not more information about her as we do Owen, and we just do nothing with iiitttt I'm sorry. Like she was straight up raised to kill!! Fuck Curt never being able to leave US propaganda behind, my girl was RAISED TO KILL. IN STALIN'S SOVIET UNION. AND SHE LEFT IT ALL BEHIND FOR HER FAMILY!!! Fuck curtwen domestic ending au, She literally canonically went off the grid to get a domestic ending, AND SHE NEVER KNEW IT WAS ALL A LIE grrrr I am so crazy about her and I dooooon't talk about her enough. I'M SORRY WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

No, I'd fantasise too much about her killing me in my sleep and I'd just make things weird sorry

[friendship-showdown]

Round of 64: Battle #3

Propaganda:

Curt Mega and Tatiana Slozhno (Spies Are Forever): they're spies who fight nazis together. they're reckless himbo and awkward girlboss solidarity. they tried kissing once because of heteronormativity but quickly stopped cause he's gay and she's probably a lesbian so they became best friends instead

Darius and Elinor (Inkheart): no propaganda submitted

[straightbaittournament]

📣 round 1 results

i will be posting results in reverse chronological order. unless some of them are slightly out of order then i never said that. they are as follows:

tobias funke and debrie bardeux vs SAM WINCHESTER AND EILEEN LEAHY

valkyrie and thor vs ALEXA, LIANA, JEREMY, AND IAN

grace blackthorn and christopher lightwood vs ANGEL AND CORDELIA CHASE

entrapta and hordak vs BUFFY AND SPIKE

SYLVIA AND WILL vs spada and raptor 283

kaname date and hitomi sagan vs JEAN-LUC PICARD AND DOCTOR BEVERLY CRUSHER

sosuke esumi and miu suto vs NOREA DU NOC AND EL5N

shin and noi vs NATHALIE SANCOEUR AND GABRIEL AGRESTE

jason grace and piper mclean vs PEGGY CARTER AND DANIEL SOUSA

BRIENNE OF TARTH AND JAIME LANNISTER vs merlin and morgana

livvy blackthorn and kit herondale vs TIM DRAKE AND STEPHANIE BROWN

bellamy blake and clarke griffin vs KATHRYN JANEWAY AND CHAKOTAY

sam winchester and rowena macleod vs SELINA KYLE AND BRUCE WAYNE

the twelfth doctor and missy vs ROMAN ROY AND GERRI KELLMAN

ted lasso and rebecca welton vs LUKE SKYWALKER AND LEIA ORGANA

KIPO OAK AND BENSON MEKLER vs chrissie cunningham and eddie munson

AVA SILVA AND MICHAEL SALVIUS vs nina zenik and matthias helvar

matthew and mary crawley vs WILLOW PARK AND HUNTER

ASH KETCHUM AND MISTY vs hikaru hitachiin and haruhi fujioka

ALEC HARDY AND ELLIE MILLER vs oscar francois de jarjayes and andre grenadier

EVA GARVEY AND GABRIEL vs tyler rake and nik khan

tatiana slozhno and curt mega vs ASAMI, BOLIN, KORRA, AND MAKO (originally just mako, korra, and asami; mod decided to change it to all four)

FOX MULDER AND DANA SCULLY vs clara oswald and the twelfth doctor

robin buckley and steve harrington vs ROY MUSTANG AND RIZA HAWKEYE

cali and flynn vs AKKO AND ANDREW

edward elric and winry rockbell vs MAKA ALBARN AND SOUL EVANS

keiichi maebara and rena ryugu vs HARDWON SUREFOOT AND MOONSHINE CYBIN

bow and glimmer vs GALO AND AINA

asuka tenjoin and yuki judai vs MAKO MORI AND RALEIGH BECKET

JEFF WINGER AND BRITTA PERRY vs izuku midoriya and ochako uraraka

himmel and frieren vs ABBIE MILLS AND ICHABOD CRANE

and last but not least:

KUROSAKI ICHIGO AND KUCHIKI RUKIA vs lisa cuddy and gregory house

once again i am so so fucking sorry for how i matched up the contestants except i'm also not because it was very funny, even though twelveclara and twissy both getting eliminated in round 1 will be my roman empire.

A FINAL AUF BREEDERSEHEN TO...

TOBIAS FUNKE AND DEBRIE BARDEUX

VALKYRIE AND THOR

GRACE BLACKTHORN AND CHRISTOPHER LIGHTWOOD

ENTRAPTA AND HORDAK

SPADA AND RAPTOR 283

KANAME DATE AND HITOMI SAGAN

MIU SUTO AND SOSUKE ESUMI

SHIN AND NOI

JASON GRACE AND PIPER MCLEAN

MERLIN AND MORGANA

LIVVY BLACKTHORN AND KIT HERONDALE

BELLAMY BLAKE AND CLARKE GRIFFIN

SAM WINCHESTER AND ROWENA MACLEOD

THE TWELFTH DOCTOR AND MISSY

TED LASSO AND REBECCA WELTON

CHRISSIE CUNNINGHAM AND EDDIE MUNSON

NINA ZENIK AND MATTHIAS HELVAR

MATTHEW AND MARY CRAWLEY

HIKARU HITACHIIN AND HARUHI FUJIOKA

OSCAR FRANCOIS DE JARJAYES AND ANDRE GRENADIER

TYLER RAKE AND NIK KHAN

TATIANA SLOZHNO AND CURT MEGA

CLARA OSWALD AND THE TWELFTH DOCTOR

ROBIN BUCKLEY AND STEVE HARRINGTON

CALI AND FLYNN

EDWARD ELRIC AND WINRY ROCKBELL

KEIICHI MAEBARA AND RENA RYUGU

BOW AND GLIMMER

ASUKA TENJOIN AND YUKI JUDAI

IZUKU MIDORIYA AND OCHAKO URARAKA

HIMMEL AND FRIEREN

LISA CUDDY AND GREGORY HOUSE

my deepest condolences to the fallen and congratustraightions to all the winners <3 straight you soon, see you baiter, etc etc. rejoice! round 2 is imminent. if YOU want me to publicly endorse your straightbait candidate (translation: draw propaganda for you) follow the instructions here

as always, if you have any questions about the definition of straightbait within this tournament,

read the FAQ

and as a final notice, we will be taking a short hiatus from all tourney/poll activity from the 16th-the 22nd aka the entirety of next week starting sunday, in observance of the strike for gaza and to give me some time to set up round 2. for more ways to participate click here. i know that the uscpr also tends to have lists of local protests by location on their site. and here is a post about writing letters to the editor

[sailors-fightinginthedancehall]

TORTURE TANGO PROPAGANDA

why. why wouldn't you want to listen to a song about a guy getting tortured I dont understand

its the best song in the entire show and that is a fact

the lyrics!! They're so well thought out and really make you think and they just. sound good when they're being sung

Curt gets shot because he's thinking about his ex at the end because he took Tatiana's arm and he used to shake hands with Owen like that :(

THE CONTEXT WHEN YOU REALISE IT'S OWEN DOING THAT, HE'S BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR SUCH A LONG TIME BECAUSE HE'S BEEN WAITING FOR FOUR YEARS DFSJNDFJJKNALFS

Joe Walker as the Deadliest Man Alive makes me feel things

Joe Walker gets to sing in a Cockney accent

When Curt says 'Owen?' the DMA touches the back of his head because he thinks his mask has come off the ATTENTION TO DETAIL

Mary Kate Wiles gets to bless us some more with her beautiful voice

The acting in the song is incredible!! You can genuinely believe the DMA's torturing the shit out of Curt

IT'S OWEN DOING THAT IT'S OWEN DOING THAT IT'S OWEN DOING THAT BECAUSE HE HATES CURT AND CURT LEFT HIM FOR DEAD -

It would make me really happy if Torture Tango swept. Don't you want me to be happy guys

The flashback to Owen, I love how the show uses the stage to do those with Owen being at the top

The overlapping parts - especially when the DMA sings 'to show you the horror of staying alive' at the same time Curt sings 'doesn't even matter if I killed my best friend' IT DOES. THJAT'S WHY YOURE BEING TORTUREED BECAUSE HE HATES YOU BECAUSE YOU LEFT HIM FOR DEAD -

The implications. Think about the implications.

To sum it up please vote Torture Tango it deserves to sweep

the winner of this poll will go up against the winner of the Spy Again vs Pay Attention! poll

[platonic-pals-punchout]

WELCOME TO PLATONIC PALS PUNCHOUT!

If Saturday cartoons taught us anything it’s that The Power Of Friendship is the ultimate weapon that can defeat any obstacle! But can it defeat…other friendships!? 

This tournament pits Dynamic Duo vs Dynamic Duo to see who has the Ultimate Friendship. They will do this by punching other pairs in the face winning polls!

We are currently running Round 1, Part 1. If you don't see your guys, don't worry, Part 2 & 3 are coming later! Thank you everyone for voting! Part 1 round 1 is over, and Part 2 round 1 is next.

Tied polls will perform the "befriend your enemy" trope and team up! They need to be within 1% of each other to qualify as a tie.

[Part 1 matchups image]

Links to polls:

Ballister Boldheart & Nimona vs Giovanni Potage & Molly Blyndeff

Kris Dreemurr & Susie vs Agent Curt Mega & Tatiana Slozhno

Gon Freecss & Killua Zoldyck vs Dr Coomer & Bubby

Wander & Sylvia vs Bill Preston & Ted Logan

Firestar & Graystripe vs Dean Winchester & Charlie Bradbury

Qi Xiaotian "MK" & Long Xiaojiao "Mei" vs Maya Fey & Phoenix Wright

Gus Porter & Willow Park vs James T. Kirk & Spock

Balloon & Suitcase vs Tian & Longtae

The Knight & Little Princess vs Meander & Quintet

Palamedes Sextus & Camilla Hect vs Shawn Spencer & Gus Burton

Ariel & Shiraori vs Simon Snow & Penelope Bunce

Lee Everett & Clementine vs Aang & Zuko

Chet Anderson & Player vs Miguel & Tulio

Geo Stelar & Omega-xis vs Sonic & Tails

Leslie Knöpfe & Anne Perkins vs Sherlock Holmes & Joan Watson

Pavitr Prabhakar & Hobie Brown vs Finn the Human & Jake the Dog

Good luck to everyone!

👉Absolutely DO NOT comment things like “These characters are totally dating!” This is an aro-safe space & insisting that 2 characters someone sees as platonic are ~actually dating~ is cruel. If you genuinely believe someone cheated & submitted an unqualified duo, DM or send me an ask. (Also: characters who date after a long friendships are allowed if emphasis is on the friendship)

(Note: I will NOT be going out of my way to organize every single piece of propaganda, bc that is WAY too much work. However, I will reblog all propaganda that comes to my attention, & I will answer all propaganda asks.)

Shameless self-plug: if you like my me, please check out my [YouTube channel] where I do art & science education, or my [Warriors/art tumblr]. You can also donate to [my ko-fi] to help me afford my meds & food. Thank you!!

[sailors-fightinginthedancehall]

You know what I have nothing else to do at the moment and Curtwen are losing rn so here's a little bit of propaganda (vote for them. Please. I am begging)

So Curt and Owen were together in the 50's and were spies from different agencies that kept working on missions together.

Bring on 1957 in an event known as the 'Banana Incident' or the 'Russian Affair'.

It should be a simple mission. But due to Curt being cocky and Owen egging him on and a whole load of things, they decide to blow the place up. They set the timers for three minutes and are going up the stairs out of the Russian facility when it blows up. Curt, being cocky beforehand, dropped a banana peel on the stairs ('this whole place will be blown to bits, who gives a shit?') and in their run to make it out, Owen trips on that very same banana peel and falls three stories. Curt's in shock, but the place is blowing up. He runs, leaving Owen there to die in the exploded building.

We next see Curt 4 years later (1961) and he is an alcoholic who has spent four years grieving Owen, blaming himself for his death. He decides to get back into the spy business, thinking Owen would want him to do it. His first mission is to retrieve a bomb from a weapons deal and make sure it doesn't fall into the hands of the Deadliest Man Alive. He fails to get the bomb and a woman, Tatiana steals it. Curt manages to track her to a casino in Monte Carlo, where they have a discussion before Tatiana apologises and reveals she's with the Deadliest Man Alive. Curt gets captured. Cue the Torture Tango, which is the best song in the whole musical, the Deadliest Man Alive just tortures the shit out of Curt while singing about how long he's waited for this moment and how much he's going to enjoy this. Tatiana rescues Curt, realising that she's been betrayed, but Curt sees Owen and stops, giving the Deadliest Man Alive a shot. He takes it. Curt and Tatiana go to Curt's mother to make a plan and attempt to stop the Deadliest Man Alive and a Nazi from gaining control over a new vulnerable country after the assassination of their prince.

They confront the Deadliest Man Alive, who reveals he's been wearing a mask this entire time. He takes it off and Owen Carvour is there. Owen's been alive this whole time and is really bitter that Curt left him to die 4 years ago and wants to 'single-handedly destroy everything he's ever believed in'. Owen is now working with Chimera, an organisation that wants no more secrets, which means no more spies. Owen gives Curt a choice: go after him, or go after a facility with high-tech surveillance that Chimera's been using. Curt chases Owen across the globe and eventually they're at a Russian facility, on the steps, just like they were all those years ago. Except this time they're both holding guns to each other. They have the most heartbreaking conversation ever. Neither of them seems eager to pull the trigger. But Curt, realising the Owen he knew is dead, does. Owen dies, for real this time, bullet to the head.

Now if that's not a divorce I don't know what is

MAY THE BEST DIVORCE WIN (Propaganda is encouraged)