#taste is till in my mouth and heart... feels like the cold breeze when you go to the mountains... idk this sound stupid but anyway

[r26yz]

now I've spent myself in lines and lost. where is that boy of yesteryear?

let him die young and leave a pretty corpse: die with his legs in the air

[lostelfwriting]

Chapter XVII – you took off your mask, and I recognised your face from my dreams

[Read on AO3]

It takes him longer than he would like to work up the courage to visit The White Rose without the excuse of coming to the studio. There is nothing left to be done – the studio is closed. If Dream visits his street now, it’s for nostalgia’s sake, and if he goes to buy some flowers… It’s to see Hob and his smile. Hopefully, Hob won’t turn him away.

When he arrives at the street that is lined with red brick buildings, and it is entirely bare of any music, Dream’s limbs begin to feel heavy. He nods to a coffee shop owner who is smoking outside of their building, who never said anything about minding his music, and they look at him wearily. Are they sad that he’s gone, or relieved? He feels better without knowing the answer to that, so he doesn’t ask.

The people at the specialty liquor store nearby used to like his music. They talked about it often enough. But nobody is standing outside to say hello to him. The crushing loneliness radiating from the place that used to be his home more than his own flat is almost strong enough to turn him away.

And then he sees them. The yellow building, the table, and the chairs. His table and chairs that Hob took because a dying man has no need for them anymore. He is tempted to go and kick them over, or carry them to the right side of the street, in front of his former studio, where they belong. But as he comes closer, he notices a sign on one of the chairs, and curiosity gets the better of him.

‘RESERVED FOR DREAMING’

Dream almost staggers with the force of the feelings that hit him. There are so many that he has trouble putting a name on all of them. The man whom he fell in love did this for him. This is the Hob who stole Dream’s heart – a man who is effortlessly nice, who knows how to put a smile on any face, who is selfless, and who is not an unprovoked asshole to people.

“It’s strange,” Hob speaks up nearby. Dream didn’t even notice he was there. “It’s quiet here without you, and I miss that dumb noise.” He’s smirking, looking like he’s in disbelief himself. “Sit down, mate; you look like you’ll fall over if the breeze hits you.”

Dream feels like a tree that will topple over if someone looks at it for too long, so he doesn’t argue. He moves the sign to the side and sits down. Relief washes over his body like a cold shower in summer, making him sigh as overworked muscles relax and he can breathe more freely.

“You liked drawing outside,” Hob goes on, hands in his pockets as he leans against the yellow wall of his store. “You can come here and draw anytime you want. They’re yours, after all.”

“Thank you,” Dream says genuinely.

“I’m afraid there is a downside to this, though,” Hob adds. “You might actually catch some colour if you spend some time in the sun. I’m still not sure you aren’t a vampire, so I hope the sun isn’t a deterrent.”

Dream huffs a quiet laugh. “I suppose I will lose the colour again soon enough.”

Hob bursts out in laughter, wide-eyed and trying to muffle himself with his hand in front of his mouth. He is into dark humour, then. Dream laughs at his guilty expression.

“You’re gonna take me with you, Jesus Christ on a stick!” Hob wheezes out. “Give a man a warning next time. I’m so sorry for laughing, fuck, that was…” Contrary to his apology, he continues to chuckle as he trails off. “May I sit down for a while? At least till the next customer comes around?” he asks eventually, pointing at the other chair.

“Of course,” Dream agrees. “This is still your place. And I gave you this furniture.”

“Nu-uh, the sign says clearly that it’s yours, and you can’t argue with a paper sign.” Hob shakes his head but he sits down opposite to Dream and stretches his legs. “I’ve already gotten a compliment on it, you know. From Mason. They were glad you still had your place here.”

Mason is one of the liquor store employees who shares Dream’s music taste. He smiles. “My sister will surely also appreciate this gesture, as do I.”

Hob waves his hand dismissively. “Let’s move on before I start blushing. So, what have you been up to? More painting?”

“Mostly doctor appointments, now that Teleute, my sister, can drag me to them,” he says sourly. “A little bit of painting.” How does one make a conversation with a person who makes their heart soar? Dream remains silent after his simple answer, but Hob doesn’t seem to mind, taking lead over the conversation until Dream relaxes.

Talking to Hob in neutral or even slightly – if he dares say so himself – familiar way is better than drawing, better than painting, better than tattooing. He may bot be leaving anything behind right now, perhaps not even a positive impression. But he feels warm, like being held in a loving embrace.

He is not cured. Hob doesn’t love him. He probably doesn’t even like him, still. But talking to Hob, sitting in the sun on his chair, breathing – still breathing – and living – if this is what the end is about, what dying feels like, then he can make peace with it. It feels almost better than living used to feel sometimes. Dying shouldn’t feel so nice. But at least he’s found his peace again, in the calm resonance of Hob’s voice.

“You know, I have to admit to something, and you might strangle me for it,” Hob says.

“Really?” Dream raises his eyebrows in amusement. He can’t imagine being mad at Hob right now.

“I actually listen to the same music as you. I even liked your playlists. I just hated the noise. But I’d absolutely go to a concert with you.”

Dream thinks back to all the times Hob called his music stupid, garbage, and even Satanic, and imagines how he then went home and listened to the very same music. Should he be angry? Who knows? He laughs, throwing his head back as he does so.

“Okay, but I mean this,” Hob chuckles, “your laugh is horrendous.”

+*+*+

“I resented you and your privileged ass. You had no idea what it’s like to wait until 2 AM to see if dad brings any food from his late shift. You had no idea what it’s like to give up the only apple you managed to steal for your younger siblings. You had no idea what you were threatening to take from me – decades of hard work. I worked my ass off every day of my life to make sure me and my family are secure. I only opened this store when I knew they would be safe even if I fell on my ass. And you threatened it, just like that.”

“I’m sorry…”

+*+*+*+*+

Bury Me with a Rose, We Both Have Thorns (Prologue)

Rating: Explicit

AO3 Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Death & Dream, Dream & Hob, Dream/Hob Gadling

Characters: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Death of the Endless, Hob Gadling, Jessamy, Matthew, Corinthian, Lucienne

Additional Tags: NO Major Character Death, Hanahaki Disease, Terminal Illnesses, Thoughts about death and dying, Decaying Health, Refusing Treatment, Strong Language, Unrequited Love, Enemies to ?, Past Minor Characters Death(s), Protective Death of the Endless, Doctor Human!Death of the Endless, Alternate Universe - Human, Tattoo Artist Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Flower Shop Owner Hob Gadling, Blood, Angst with a Happy Ending

Word count: 32k

I'm posting the whole work here on the 1st of March, but I strongly reccommend you read it on AO3, where I will be posting one chapter per day. Either way, click Read More or go to AO3 to read the Prologue!

Written for the event @the-centennial-husbands-bigbang. With beautiful art by @five-and-dimes!

It is a slow day at the studio, so while he is waiting for his next appointment, Dream is – like he does almost all of his free time – sketching new tattoo designs to add to his portfolio and listening to music loud enough to completely shut out his own thoughts. He is sketching a snake, having no doubt that it will catch someone’s eye. There is always someone who wants a tattoo of a snake. He pauses to look at his progress and ends up snorting in disbelief.

The drawing is truly a snake, but the reptile is weaving among the stems of flowers instead of a dead branch like Dream had intended. And they are ugly flowers at that. He is pretty sure that he gave a pot of those flowers to his secondary school teacher, who always called him Murphy, even though he hated that nickname. He can’t resist snapping a picture of the flowers with his phone and trying to look up what they are, but once he finds the name – cyclamen – he refuses to look up their meaning. It would surely be something stupid, like forbidden love, or maybe hopelessness.

Even the snake’s scales seem to actually be made of flower petals, and Dream rolls his eyes as he flips the page of his sketchbook. The downside to trying to tune his mind out is that he doesn’t notice when his subconsciousness begins to interfere with his process, and it has led to many flowery paintings in the past months. With a sigh, he starts copying the usable parts of the design onto another page until an insistent thought makes him pause mid-movement.

Just a few weeks ago, he would have been furious if this had happened. He used to tear those ruined sketches to pieces and then go outside into the late winter chill and glare at every passing person who dared to look his way. He wished they all felt as bad as he did, and most of all, his neighbour with his shop opposite Dream’s studio, with its bright, flowery logo.

Today’s drawing incident feels like just a small inconvenience. He feels zero anger, though he might still opt to destroy the sketch later, just for the miniscule satisfaction that the action will bring him. Or maybe he will keep it. Pin it to the wall next to his bed and look at it every night. He will look at the ugly flowers and realise with wry amusement and aching hollowness that he has finally accepted his fate.

He, Morpheus Endeles, is going to die.

He thinks about it and waits for anger or grief to appear, but they don’t. Good. He was getting sick of the self-pity. It has been months since he noticed the first symptom – the occasional cough – as something seemed to tickle his throat, easily blamed on a bit of dust. And then, a bit later, when he lay awake late at night and everything around him was quiet, he heard the soft rustle of leaves as he breathed. He didn’t need a doctor to tell him that he had the Hanahaki Disease. He tears the ruined sketch out and shreds it into tiny pieces, enjoying the bit of satisfaction that it brings him. Maybe he is still harbouring some badly suppressed anger. He doesn’t need a fortune teller to tell him that he has no chance of getting affection from the person he hopelessly loves. Because it is his neighbour, the owner of The White Rose, Robert Gadling, a straight man who rightfully dislikes Dream.

+*+*+*+*+

Cyclamen: resignation and good-bye

[eremiie]

one — love confessions

❥ your actions have consequences. eren wants more with you but his motivation is unclear. there one thing you’re sure of though, eren jaeger is relentless.

❥ wattpad link ; ao3 link ; masterlist

❥ prologue ; chapter two

❥ word count ; 7k words

❥ content ; mentions of alcohol, alcohol usage

huge thanks to @arlert-slut for beta reading my work, she was a big help, ily callie!!!!

❝ it’s delicate and sickeningly sweet, like the saccharine candy you’d find at a corner store— and what doesn’t help us the remaining taste of strawberry pineapple he leaves on your lips. you kick at the skin in efforts to get rid of it, and he only chuckles at your attempt before dropping his hands from your face. ❞

                                       彡

kisses were peppered on your face, threatening to stir you out of your sleep, and you knew who the culprit was, their hand sliding over the slope of your body and murmuring into your ear— words that were incomprehensible in your sleepy haze. 

"get up, it's time to wake up."

the past few mornings since your return from carla's had been a nuisance for you to get used to, but you were getting used to it. you were getting used to eren shaking you up early in the mornings to propose an activity for when you'd awake, and you were getting used to other things as well, like the more intimate touches he'd lay on you and the subtle nicknames. 

you were getting used to your situation with him after the events of the weekend prior.

the weekend prior; you spent your nights with eren at carla's, and he insisted that you go with him to a party at a nearby bar. you didn't mind and so you let him take you along, only for the two of you leave early after a more than inconvenient mishap. 

it was irritating at most, always having to be the one to drag eren away when he got more than comfortable, always having to talk to him about it only to see him make no effort to change. but for some reason something clicked in his brain that night and you ended up tangled in his sheets, a lazy love confession muttered in your ears when you were pressed against his front. a lazy love confession that you were partially swayed by.

you and eren didn't talk much about it, after leaving his mom's the two of you decided to leave it in the air. after all, there wasn't much to talk about that hadn’t already said. eren would try to do his part to win you over, and you'd just sit back and observe. the two of you went on just like you were before, as a matter of fact how you went on was almost too similar to how everything was before, yet at the same time somewhat foreign when you thought about the "other things".

the other things; the nicknames and the touches. you weren't too fond of them— maybe because you weren't his yet, but for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to shy away from them. they were comforting, they were something new to you, and you'd learn to appreciate them over time. 

it was funny because it was only eren who you’d let do these more than friendly touches even before what happened last weekend, and it was you who enjoyed the whole aspect of it. you were more prone to friendships as opposed to relationships. you never liked them much because you found yourself on a pedestal compared to others. no one could catch your attention, no one was good enough or worth your time, yet eren seemed to build his own pedestal and sit right beside you, and for that he was special.

 it was only eren who was able to do that, and only eren you were able to open up your heart to. you'd only hope he wouldn't screw it over for himself, and maybe for you too.

apart from getting used to your new situation with eren, you were getting used to letting go of things too, namely spending your mornings with someone else— spending your mornings with historia.

it didn't pain you much— you and historia had a friendship of pleasure, words by aristotle; she was good company for you in the mornings after class and when you needed socializing at events. 

maybe you'd blame it on the break you were on, after all, you'd walk out of your first class together. since there weren't any classes 'till next week, that could very well be the reason why you weren’t seeing her. although you knew even when they would start up again it wouldn't be historia who'd be offering you a piece of her breakfast, spritzing her floral perfume over her body for the nth time, or keeping you awake with her tangents, it'd be eren. 

plus, you were saving yourself from the awkward encounter, considering that night when she let her drink plague the front of eren's shirt, and considering the fact that that morning you had just told her to let eren be, that he was a player, that what may be fun for her was only a fling for him. yet you ended up in her exact position, letting eren sweep you off your feet and into his bed. that would linger on your mind when you saw her, and the more you thought about it the less fair it was to her,

but it wasn't your fault, right?

"c'mon get up, it's almost eleven." eren's hand slid back up to shake your shoulder before his fingers made their way up to your eyelid, pulling it up. you smacked his hand down, a groan leaving your lips as you turned in your covers.

"eren," you pulled the soft fabric of the blanket over your head and began to blink underneath them, eyes adjusting to the small gleam of light that was let through the thick fabric. "what is your problem?"

he huffs and you feel his weight dip the bed some as he falls backwards on it, his head resting against your legs. he reciprocates your groan, seemingly more irritated, as if you were the one to disturb his sleep. "my problem is that you won't get up." 

"you said it's eleven eren, eleven." your voice is groggy and you can feel the swell of your face, rubbing at your features before you tugged the blanket from over your head. eren perks up at the sound of the fabric rustling, and he rises, happy to see your face, that same radiant smile you're used to seeing every morning greeting you.

"i always wake you up earlier than this," he shuffles back on the bed and lays his head down against your stomach and although he can feel you glaring at him from above, he still gets as comfortable as possible. it's then that you realize he's already ready for the day, clad in clothes different from what he went to sleep in, a shirt, and some sweats. "'wanted to get something to eat with you."

you feel the guilt curdle in your stomach, his attire tells you he's been up for a while now. he must've let you sleep in a bit longer than usual because he was right, he would wake you up earlier than this and the two of you would get ready together. your mouth downturns into a small frown and your hand comes down to caress his brown locks, almost like a form of an apology. he accepts it, green eyes fluttering shut at your touch. "i'm not that hungry."

"than something to drink? we can go to that smoothie bar nearby."

"we're not using zeke's car again." you knew eren wouldn't let up, and a part of you tells you that you owe him this as a return for the extra hours you were able to catch. you were just talking to talk, you'd end up going with him anyway, you ended up going with him every day.

you can feel eren smile against the fabric of your top, a low chuckle that was barely audible leaving his lips, and it made you smile too. "we'll walk."

it doesn't take you long to get ready, and it doesn't take long for the two of you to be on your way either. you were hand in hand with eren, a small silence looming over the two of you if you didn't count the aimless comments he'd throw here and there that you tried your best to engage with.

it was nothing but you, eren, and the small breeze that tried to sweep the loose pieces of hair around his face away, his hand occasionally coming up to move them out of his line of sight while the two of you walked before immediately connecting with yours again.

it felt nice, it was tranquilizing even and not much was with eren. it was times like this that didn't make you regret having him pull you into his bed on that hectic evening, having him pull you out of bed every morning, and you especially didn't regret it when you caught sight of the glass windows of the bar, chairs and tables still visible through the tinted glass.

his hand drops from yours. it feels empty again and cold when you grab the steel handle of the door. you can feel the wind of eren striding past you and the door shuts faster than you expected. the thud of it closing behind you, almost shutting you in, made you flinch. you turned to look back at it before turning to see eren more than a few steps ahead of you already. 

you furrow your brows and let your feet pick up the pace to catch up to him and you don't even realize the way your hand stretches out for eren to grab it again. he doesn't, keeping his hands in his pocket as he walks, but you couldn't blame him— he wasn't even looking down at your outstretched limb, his eyes surveying the bar. 

you roll your eyes at yourself. your subconscious attempt was feeble anyways. it was no big deal— and so you shove your hand back into the pocket of your jacket, fingers playing with each other inside the fabric.

 the two of you round the corner of the divider placed in the middle of the store. you reckoned it was to give customers who were eating more privacy, and once you got around it your eyes immediately look up to take a glimpse at the menu while your feet come to a halt in line.

eren leans down a bit, "what are you gonna get?"

you shrug your shoulders. you didn't put much thought into it, too in the moment of the walk you were on earlier to consider that you'd actually need to order something when you arrived. eren on the other hand seemed to know what he wanted, staring ahead at the cashier instead of the menu. perhaps he'd been here before.

the line begins to move and you and eren diverge from it, stepping over to one of the open cash registers. 

"hey, what can i get for you today?" the girl has a kind smile on her face that eren tosses back. she glances between eren, then you, then eren again while her finger hovers over the pad of the register. 

he answers before you, letting you take your time to decide what you'll want, you continuing to skim the contents of the menu. "hey, uh," his tongue slides over his bottom lip as he leans forward on the counter, hands hugging the end of it to stable himself while he passes some of his weight forward. "can i get the strawberry pineapple smoothie? can you replace the coconut water with um, orange juice?" 

it’s then that you notice the ash orange of her hair, the way it curled against the frame of her face and complimented the hazel of her eyes that were trained on the boy next to you, listening to him talk while she occasionally nodded her head, punching numbers into the register. "of course you can, pretty."

"that's all you— thanks, carly." you couldn't recall her saying her name, so your gaze travels down to her shirt, body relaxing when you see the name tag pinned to the cloth of her uniform. you shift your weight from one leg to the other, eye flicking back up to her face before eren taps your shoulder, making you look towards him instead.

"_____?" it's your name he says next and he must've had to say it more than once, the slight downturn of his lips tells you so. "what do you want to get?" his tone is different from earlier, and the smile you could hear in his voice when he was ordering wasn't there anymore— but most people put on a cheery persona when addressing an employee. it was more or less natural.

"i'll get what he's getting." you didn't really hear much of eren's order, clearly focused on all except, but you didn't have time to ponder on a stupid smoothie. she punches up your order as eren pulls out his wallet, you not daring to take out your own, hands still sitting idle in your pockets. he slips out a crumpled twenty dollar bill, attempting to smooth it out before handing it to the girl.

you and eren step off to the side, not having to wait very long for your drinks. when eren heads over to grab them from the same brassy orange-blonde, giving her a polite "thank you," and her responding with an "anytime, come back soon!", your phone vibrates in the back pocket of your jeans and you avert your attention from the two by slipping the device out. 

it's pieck, her caller id sitting above the "home". you don't hesitate to swipe your finger across the screen to answer. 

seeing her name made you remember the night at the bar once more, you and pieck enlightening each other with easy conversation, eren being the topic, and you’re reminded to update her about the fiasco that had you slip away from her for longer than you expected.

your mental note to call her clearly was washed away by other intruding thoughts, and the same feeling of guilt from earlier when you were laying with eren returned— she shouldn't have been the one to call you.

you lift your phone up, the glass of the screen was cold as you pressed it against your ear. "hey, i'm sorry for not call—"

"my curiosity got the best of me." you can hear the lightheartedness in her tone, voice soft as it flowed through the phone. it puts you at ease. "don't worry too much about it, i just needed to make sure you were alive after this weekend."

a smile plays on your face and you were almost oblivious to eren's sudden presence beside you, two identical pink drinks in his hand, one jutted out towards you for you to take. your hand wraps around the drink and you walk behind him, letting him open the door for you this time around, making your way out of the smoothie bar.

"i'm alive... what have you been up to?"

pieck chuckles from behind the screen. it's warm and pleasant. this time instead of you, eren and the breeze, it's you, pieck and the breeze. although, you were still aware of eren next to you and the side glances he was throwing your way— interest in every one of them. "that's the question i should be asking you, after all, you were the life of the party on friday."

"far from it, but if you'd like to know 'm fine. out with eren right now, he just took me to this little smoothie place not too far from campus."

she's silent for longer than a few seconds, as if she was processing something before she speaks up again. "eren? now you really have to tell me what you've been up to." her tone still has that hint of jest to it, keeping the conversation lighter than it would've been. 

eren's ears perk up at the muffled sound of his name and he once again turns his head your way, an eyebrow quirked at you that you pretended to ignore. "who are you talking to?"

you bring the smoothie up to your lips, using it to take more time to answer before letting your eyes slide over to eren. "just pieck, nosey." you were only half-joking and neither you or eren laugh at the comment. "not much is up if i'm being honest with you, but i can tell you about," you pause for a moment, brain scrambling to find a word that would make the topic you were discussing more vague. "...we can talk about everything when i get back to my dorm?"

"why don't you come over? yelena is here but i don't think she'll mind." 

you had nothing planned for the remainder of the day, it wouldn't hurt to spend a few hours updating pieck. it was well deserved on her part— she'd been patient and hadn't even sent you a text ever since you'd last seen her at the party. not to mention she was a good friend and a wise person to chat with, her feedback would be nice to hear. "yeah that's cool, i'll text you."

"i'll be happy to see your face, have fun." 

the line cuts off before you could even give your goodbyes but you brush it off and slip your phone back into the back pocket of your jeans, sipping at the almost forgotten smoothie that was dripping against your fingers. eren pulls your now free hand into his own, and it's like he's trying to recreate the moment before the bar, swinging your hands back and forth while the same silence dawns on both of you.

it's a little more stiff, a little too quiet, but it didn't matter because before you knew it you were walking up the steps to your shared dorm and eren's scanning the keycard so you and him could slip inside the warmth of the room.

you don't waste any time placing your cup down and shimmying out of your jeans, replacing them with sweats instead while eren just watches from the seat he takes on his bed. his eyebrows are knit from observing you hastily move around the small dorm. "where are you going?" it was question after question, but it wasn't anything new— he was always eager to know what you were up to, to try and keep an eye out for you and to try and keep up to date with you. when it wasn't a little vexatious, it was actually quite endearing.

you finish the remnants of your drink, plopping the cup into the trash and picking up your phone on your way to the door. "to pieck's dorm, i'll be back later."

eren stands up, following your route of throwing his empty cup into the trash then heading over to you, stopping right in front of your figure and making you tilt your head upward to get a better view of him. "that's what the two of you were talking about?"

he's in close proximity— you could count all the wrinkles on his shirt if you wanted to, or every eyelash that curved downwards above his eyes. "...i guess."

"i wanted you to come with me to reiner's in a few hours, sasha and them were gonna be there."

you recalled seeing sasha on friday, how she beamed being in your presence and how excited she was to see you— telling you that the two of you needed to hang out more, and although now would've been a great opportunity, you had plans. 

you sighed. albeit you never minded hanging out with your friends, maintaining them was a little harder than usual. "for one, i don't know who reiner is, and second of all, i have somewhere to be; i'll just text her when i get back." you'd hope you'd be able to stay true to your word, as you weren't able to do so with pieck. 

in the midst of you turning to grab the handle of the door, eren's hands come up to cup your jaw, palms resting against the supple skin of your face, and you roll your eyes before looking down to the ground.

his affectious demeanor was present again as he pulled you closer and pouted at you while his thumb caressed your cheek. "m'gonna miss you, you'll probably be asleep when i come back."

your own hand comes up to grab at his wrist, but you can't bring yourself to try and pull his hand away. instead, you find yourself rubbing at the tan skin, still not maintaining eye contact. "and that's fine, tomorrow's another day, i need to go." your words are somewhat bitter, but eren doesn't catch on.

he presses a testing kiss to your forehead, looking down at you before tilting your head up more and pressing a gentle one to your lips.

it's delicate and sickeningly sweet, like the saccharine candy you'd find at a corner store— and what doesn't help is the remaining taste of strawberry pineapple he leaves on your lips. you lick at the skin in efforts to get rid of it, and he only chuckles at your attempt before dropping his hands from your face. 

even though you could feel your cheeks burning, you still felt cold without his skin being in contact with yours. "text me when you get back." he says when you're stepping out the door, and you mutter a "we'll see," that you couldn't tell if he heard or not, not that it mattered much to you.

the walk to pieck's dorm feels shorter than usual, and you're not sure whether to blame it on the fact that you were getting used to the route, or on the fact that you were clouded in your own thoughts. either way, you're knocking a melody on her door in no time, and you're greeted by yelena looming over you, a neutral expression on her face.

"yelena," she nods her head at you but doesn't say anything back, only sidestepping to let you in, the person you wanted to see lying on her side against her bed, casting a lazy smile at the sight of you.

"______, long time no see?" pieck doesn't make an effort to sit up, only scooting backwards to create a space for you to sit at, and you let yelena pass you to get back to her desk before walking over to pieck.

"it's barely been a week," you saunter over to her bed, balancing your foot on one of the boxes that platforms her bed to climb up onto it. "you saw me just last friday." 

"and i was supposed to see or hear from you earlier than today." she's still holding her smile as she speaks, tilting her head towards you and raising a brow. "nevertheless, i'm glad you're here now." she truly was— despite you being a year under her, appreciative of your company. to her it was like having a little sister to look after, she felt like she was constantly watching you from the distance— and you felt like she was always there when you needed a bit of advice.

"and i'm glad to see you, how're your friends doing?"

she shakes her head at you but she answers your question anyways, "zeke, is being zeke— off dilly dallying and being an english major, nothing new to him. if you couldn't tell yelena is over there doing some work, porco is doing well, colt’s good, we're all good." with the way she grins wider, you already know what the next topic of discussion would be, her eyes narrowing at you as she finally sits up, back falling into her surplus amount of pillows. "how're you and your friends?"

"well according to one of them they're all supposed to be gathered up in someone's dorm right now, a little get together i think." 

pieck's mouth parts and her eyebrows upturn. "and you've decided to sit here with me?"

"i told eren i didn't want to go, i wanted to spend time with you."

her hand comes up to her chest dramatically and she stares at you in awe, "i always knew you liked me more than the rest of them, apart from eren i suppose." your nose scrunches up at her, you knew it was coming. you knew she'd find a way to bring him up, she always found a way to make things go according to her. it was admirable— and fun to watch when you weren't the victim. "speaking of eren..." her words slide off her tongue tauntingly and you groan. she doesn't take the sound to heart. 

"here we go,"

"what? you said you'd update me. so what happened? my ears are open."

you pull your legs up onto the bed until you were sat criss-cross. "well, after we left he didn't tell me anything until we got back to his mom's," you can hear pieck adjusting herself, getting comfortable as if she was a giddy child and you were a veteran getting ready to tell an old war story. "what he told me was that he had said something to upset historia, and that's why she threw her drink on him— and i told him that he shouldn't have been fuckin' around in the first place."

pieck nods her head after every couple words and you use that as a cue to go on, "and he starts saying he's sorry and shit, i kind of started to feel bad and i reassured him that it wasn't that big of deal, just that he needs to be better, you know?"

"i know."

your voice gets quiet at your next words, and your back slouches. the pads of your fingers tap against each other when you start to speak again. "and after that... after that, i don't really know how it happened but we kissed, and then he took me to his room and... and we had sex," the nearer your sentence came to an end the less audible it was.

"excuse me?" pieck leans in, and you can see her blink once, twice, and then a third time as she raises her nimble fingers to move stray ebony locks behind her ear until the appendage was visible to you, and you almost snort at the gesture. "the last part, i'm not sure i heard it well."

"you did." your hand lightly shoves her head away and it's quiet for a minute, only the taps of yelena's fingers against the keyboard and the birds chirping just outside the window of her dorm. "we fucked." and even though you knew she heard you the first time around, you repeat it. more so to yourself, like you were confirming the events and making sure they were true to what actually happened.

pieck settles against her pillows again but she doesn't look surprised. it's amusement that dances across her features and it's... satisfaction? she lets out a small sigh of content, as she closes her eyes and lets her head rest against the pile behind her. "mhm, that's what i thought."

it's you who's taken aback, her demeanor so calm that it's almost unsettling. "what?" 

"well something happened that night, right? c'mon the way zeke's brother acts around you alludes to something. how he watches you, he's very touchy with you, i'm surprised you didn't figure it out earlier." she doesn't mention how you'd reciprocate every touch regardless of the matter and would watch him in the same manner, maybe just from a farther distance. "he's the candidate i mentioned."

your words feel stuck in your throat and even if you could speak properly you weren't sure what you would say. you'd hope it was only pieck who was this observant, this alert when it came to those around her, otherwise the displays of affection would have to become a private thing; it was almost embarrassing knowing people could see you unknowingly gush over eren in plain sight.

when you don't respond immediately, pieck does instead, and her question flows out of her so easily that it’s as if she was patiently waiting to ask. "what about the blondie?" you were sure pieck remembered her name by now. maybe the nickname was more pleasant on her tongue.

"what about historia?" 

"what about when she finds out about you and eren?"

pieck saw things full circle, she rummaged every corner and crack for possibilities, what ifs, and what abouts, and it made you think harder— even when you didn't think you needed to ponder too much on what she'd make you reflect on.

the quality was endearing when you'd skip a step or two during a math problem, or when you didn't consider the hangover of a party overlapping with a test you'd have to take the next day. however, it wasn't so endearing when you were trying to just get through an exam, or when she made a simple problem more elaborate than it had to be.

"well, i told her not to fuck with eren— i can't help it if he likes me or not." you rub the back of your neck while staring off into the corner of pieck's dorm. "eren will tell her anyways."

"and if he doesn't?" both you and pieck's head whiz towards yelena and you realize the sound of her fingers clacking against the keys of the laptop cease to exist. her slender arm is hung over the back of the chair and her legs are crossed at the ankle. you can't read her doe eyes, not sure if she was genuinely interested in the conversation or if her ears only decided to listen for the remainder of it out of boredom— but you knew she heard the last sentence either way. "it's your job to inform her, after all you seemed closer to her than eren."

"yeah but it's eren who needs to cut her off, so he should tell her then." 

pieck pats the bed in front of her, stealing both you and yelena's attention with the smallest gesture. "what about talking to blondie? giving her a letdown and letting her know what's going on between you and eren? i mean, you and eren aren’t dating yet, right?"

your eyes meet pieck and you speak lowly, slow and careful. "no..." a brow is arched above your eye; you weren't sure what she was getting at. "but that's what he's trying to do. i wasn't just g'nna... throw myself at him that night," you cup your jaw with your hands, placement just like eren's earlier and your face twists into a lovesick expression, lip jutting out and eyebrows turned upwards. "oh, eren yes i'll be yours!" 

pieck chuckles at your sarcastic tone and shakes her head. "i didn't say all that now, i'm glad you didn't..." her hand waves around your face in a circular motion, "do that."

"yeah, 'm not stupid,"

"i know, i know, my point was just that you need to be wary of your circumstances, _____." her words are darker and she gives you a motherly expression, almost as if she was scolding you. her finger pointing towards your figure didn't help to dull that feeling. "you need to be the one to talk to historia and you need to set your boundaries with eren. be mindful of the predicament you're in, it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks."

"and don't be upset if the old dog can't learn them." yelena doesn't fail to add on, before spinning her chair back towards the desk in front of her, seemingly uninterested in the conversation already, the jaded look that she gives you telling you enough.

you don't respond but pieck knows the gears are turning in your head by the way your eyes cloud over and the way you stare a little too long at the photo of her and porco pinned up against her side of the dorm.. if she asked you to tell her the color shirt she was wearing in it while closing your eyes, she was sure you'd be able to give her that and more.

but she lets you ponder and she knows it's a good chance you won't heed her advice. 

you were independent for the most part and you seemed to have things under control when they needed to be— that included having eren under control. so why would you need someone like pieck to tell you to take your brain out of autopilot for a few seconds and be wary of eren?

as far as you knew, from the ache of his words that night in the laundry room, the way he held onto you as if you could slip out of his grip any second; he wanted you and he wanted you bad. it wouldn't be your feelings hurt if he tripped over his own feet— it'd be his loss and he should know you wouldn't be one to try and pick him back up again.

that wasn't the kind of person you were, it never was— it was eren who'd have to change, not you, no matter how small the transition. 

but you knew you wouldn't have to worry about that anyways, it was your subconscious plaguing you.

“my mom would kill me if i played you anyways.”

those were his words that night and they'd linger in the back of your mind. they were a constant reminder to you that what was happening wasn't imaginative, and you'd reckon he'd stick by them.

                                     彡彡彡

nothing feels better than toeing out of your shoes and slipping them under your bed for a later occasion. you had talked with pieck longer than expected, arriving back to your dorm a few hours before midnight, yet eren still wasn't back as you expected.

you slipped out of the attire you'd been walking around in all day and went to the bathrooms to take a shower. it was a quick one, the water temperature more on the warm side then you'd like, but it was nothing you could control.

you found yourself skimming the contents of eren's clothes when you headed over to the closet for pajamas to sleep in, plucking one of his shirts from the hangers. 

don't think too far ahead, it was just the feeling of the fabric clinging to your skin while being a few sizes too big. how it fell around your body and covered you just enough so you wouldn't have to wear sleep shorts that you always ended up kicking off in the middle of the night. 

it felt safe and you'd grown to like the feeling ever since eren slipped one of his shirts over your head when you were barely able to get up.

you crawl into your bed but you knew sleep wouldn't greet you for an hour or so. knowing eren wasn't in the bed across from you stirred your stomach, so you grabbed your phone that was still on its charger and opened youtube; it'd be a clever distraction for the time being.

you weren't sure how long you'd been scrolling through pointless videos, clicking one that’s thumbnail sparked your interest and watching it for as long as you could muster then swiping down to the recommended to repeat the process. 

however long it was, it made your eyes grow weak, weight pulling down your lids and particularly loud segments from each video making your eyes snap back open, the cycle continuing.

it's one noise that makes you jump out of the grasp of sleep— and it's not the sound from the video playing in front of you, it's the noise of the handle of the door jiggling. your eyes move over to watch the brass handle shake up and down with vigor, as if the person on the other side was trying to break in.

it's the curse of breath that calms your nerves, the small "shit," coming from the other side sounding all too familiar even with your body struggling to stay awake. 

a small smile tugs on your lips at eren's attempts to open the door, but you make no efforts to get up. you're more than overjoyed when you hear the sound of a keycard being used at the door, it finally swinging open a little harder than you expected, eren bending down to pick up the card he seemingly dropped. 

he stumbles when he stands, grabbing the door. you're not sure if it was to close it or steady himself, but his gaze is trained on you the whole time when he shuts it, back pressed against the wood when it is completely closed, his frame only standing there for a few seconds before he giggles.

"______."

his words are slurred and he bumps into the end of his bed when he begins making his way over to you. the goofy way your name leaves his lips still makes your heart skip a beat and your hand slides your phone over, arms open for him. "eren."

although you've seen his face more times than you can count, it’s still refreshing to see it for a split second in the dim moonlight that shines on the side of his face as he passes the window. his hair is more tousled than you remember and his eyes are half lidded— but in a way that makes it seem like he was trying to make them as wide as possible. you can't help but shake your head as he crawls into your bed slowly, lifting the covers for him so he can slide in. 

"______... you're awake." he hums when you drape the covers over both his and your body. he makes himself a home between your legs, head falling to your chest and his arms to his sides as hands scrunch into fists.

"i'm awake." he's hot to the touch and he makes you warmer than you were before, makes you stare at him in awe and caress his hair again, taming the stray locks on the top of his head.

"_______," you can smell the alcohol on his breath as well as a floral scent and the smell of sweat that littered his body. it's not off putting enough for you to want to tell him to "get up," and to "go sleep in your own bed." but you'd make a mental note to remind him to shower in the morning— not that he wouldn't take one without your reminder.

"yes, eren?"

eren scoots up more until his head is leveled with yours. his weight is heavy but soothing and you press yourself against him more, able to feel every rise and fall of his chest, every beat of his heart, and every exhale of his breath onto your cheek. "i love you."

you've heard it before more times than you could count. you were his childhood friend, it was so natural but you knew it meant more this time. yet, you couldn't scratch the fact that he was drunk and his words could be empty. you could wake up tomorrow and be the only one who would remember what he said. "yeah i know, eren."

he whimpers and his lips press to your cheek, it's elongated and hard, but when he's done he doesn't move them, letting his mouth rest against your skin.

when you don't reciprocate his fingers come up to turn your head towards him and he’s pressed his lips against yours this time. it's slow and sensual and you melt into the meager kiss. the taste of beer that lingers on eren's tongue is not enough for you to pull away, and the way eren kisses you sloppily and lazily isn't a bother either. 

he groans and the vibrations can be felt where your body was up against his. his lips are slightly dry and it compliments the soft feel of yours that he can't seem to get enough of, his lips trapping your bottom one and him pulling back before doing the same with the top. 

eren's thumb rubs against the skin of your tragus, every back and forth motion making the skin under it tingle. he uses the grip he has on your face to pull you in further and let his teeth graze your lower lip. you're so caught up in the moment, but the buzz of his phone in the pocket of his sweats that sagged against your thigh makes you jolt and pull away for a second.

he tries to bring your lips together again but you remember that he's drunk and both of you need sleep, especially eren if anything. "eren," you breathe, and he murmurs a "hm?" against the skin of your jaw that he was kissing, trailing back up to peck kisses to the corners of your lips.

"let's go to sleep."

"but i love you," he's whiney, a hand sliding down to bring you impossibly closer, pulling you by the small of your back. you sigh, your palms pushing off his chest to put some distance between the two of you that even you didn't want there. but the brunette was too handsy and you were only following your brain, not your heart.  

your hand slips into the pocket of his sweats and you grab his phone, body flipping over to unplug yours and plug his in. 

it vibrates once to signify that it was being charged, then twice to signify another incoming text message and the phone screen lights up, your eyes skimming the screen without thinking.

under every contact name was the words imessage, all his notifications including messages hidden from the lock screen. 

you read the name armin, the text from the boy being the one that lit up eren's phone screen in your face, sasha, a text from her more than several hours ago, and an unsaved number that started with 760, the number having texted a couple minutes ago. you assumed it must've been the one that buzzed when eren was against you.

his phone screen goes dark and you place it down onto the bed, your phone beside it before pulling the covers more over you and not turning around towards eren. you were afraid he'd pester you again. you could feel his abdomen up against your back, arm slung over your midsection that he must've threw while you were plugging in his phone. 

you can hear him snoring against your back and you could laugh at how fast he fell asleep, silently wishing that had been you hours ago. you scoot back against him more and close your eyes, the darkness replacing the pretty moonlight that the crooked blinds of your window let in.

"i love you too."

[emeren]

ring me when you’re alone - levi ackerman

pairing: levi ackerman x fem!reader 

word count: 2k

content warnings: +18, smut, breeding, unprotected sex

notes: first time writing levi!!! huge shout out to @luvmegumi​ @oblxvion​ and @aotwrites​ for beta reading! 

SUMMARY: levi’s been gone on business for nearly a week, and just when you think you can’t take it anymore, he has a surprise up his sleeve. 

“i just,” you lifted your leg from the bubble bath, examining the way the droplets slid towards the crease of your knee. the sun was setting outside of the window, fingers tightly gripping your cellphone. “miss you.”

there was a brief silence on the other line; you knew levi had a difficult time articulating his feelings, so you were fine to wait. “miss you too, business has just been hectic recently.” 

a satisfactory smirk carved itself into your cheeks at levi’s strained words. it was funny hearing him get all flustered like this. you lightly blew at the bubbles in front of your face, free hand tracing a wet circle on the rim of the porcelain tub.

“you’ve almost been gone a week,” you sighed, thinking back to the last time you’d seen your abhorrently serious boyfriend. when he’d kissed your cheek in a parting gesture and disappeared into the security line at the airport. “our room’s a mess at this point, i’m afraid.” 

“is that so?” levi asked incredulously, his breathing uneven. it sounded like he was walking somewhere, but the way his lungs were expelling in a jagged manner had your mind wandering where it shouldn’t. you placed your leg back in the water, face no longer the only part of your body that was burning. “what’re you doing?” 

“taking a bath,” you spoke smoothly, hand leaving the rim of the tub to dip beneath the hot water. your first two fingers hesitantly tapped against your pelvis, hopeful that levi would be willing to entertain you for a moment. “levi, do you miss my body?” 

“pardon?” he choked in a leveled out surprise, voice merely tinted with the emotion. that was enough evidence for you; a light laugh slipping past your lips. 

“do you wish you could fuck me on the rim of our tub?” you questioned innocently. it was no secret that your blatancy was one of his turn ons, despite how he swore up and down that your foul wording had the opposite effect. levi was quiet for a moment; so quiet you worried you’d failed your plan. 

“such filthy thoughts you’re having, hm? teasing me like that,” he responded quickly, the conviction in his tone catching you off guard. your clit throbbed at his implication, fingers eagerly rubbing against the sensitive nerves. 

your hand was no match for the desperate and needy manner that levi touched you in, but it would have to do the job, considering he was on the other side of the country. 

“just miss you, so much,” you panted, the temperature of the water making your face break out in a light sweat. levi scoffed on the other end of the phone, clearly unimpressed by your whining. 

“do you even hear yourself right now?” his words were icy, but they clearly held no malicious intent. levi knew you were getting off to the sound of his voice, the harshness of his vocabulary, and the thought of you sitting on his lap and bouncing up and down on his dick. he knew. there wasn’t much that got past levi in the way of your emotions. “shamelessly asking me that, when you know i’m in public. just wait till i get home.” 

“can’t,” you lulled, your head rolling back onto the tub. you could just picture levi’s pale, bruisable flesh or the way he gritted his teeth when you sucked him off exactly how he liked. your fingers picked up their pace, the humidity of the bathroom amplifying the pressure that was building in your core. “need you now, ‘n you won’t be home till friday.” 

just then, your bathroom door flew open. the sound was startling enough, shooting up out of the water as your fingers nearly dropped your phone from their grasp. you couldn’t help the shriek that ripped through your chest, heart hammering against your ribcage. 

there stood levi in a white dress shirt and black slacks. his eyes were squinted in a mix of ridicule and amusement, thumb making a show of clicking the end call button. “tch, how pitiful. embarrassed about touching yourself in the bathtub, hm?” 

“you asshole,” you grinned, heart coming down from its startled high. levi had a small smile of his own, walking over and crouching down so the two of you were eye level. 

you knew that placing your wet hand against his face would scratch at his inner germaphobe, but frankly, you didn’t care. your fingers traced his fragile jaw, dull blue eyes staring you down in the best way possible as you slowly guided his lips to your own.

levi wasn’t one for kissing. he tended to be monotonous and stiff, but after nearly a week of no contact, his mouth melded to yours with ease. his hands remained rested against his knees as you invited your tongue inside his mouth, shifting in the porcelain tub so that you were sitting on your legs. 

you hadn’t meant for the kiss to be more than an excited greeting, but as he pressed his mouth harder against your own and your breathing grew staggered, you were lost in the taste of him. kissing him always felt fresh; liking waking up to a soft summer breeze in the curtains. 

your hand trailed from his jaw to tightly grip his neatly ironed shirt, both of his own hands coming up to caress your face. it was getting hard to breathe - wrapped up in his taste and smell and unwavering comfort. he shifted his head to the side for better leverage, tongue swiping against your own. that was levi’s way of saying that this was going to be much more than just a passionate kiss. 

“levi,” you mumbled against his lips, attempting to pull away, but levi had other plans. he engulfed your words in his mouth, kiss becoming frantic and needy in all the best ways. you loved how he came off as uncaring and cold, but was constantly so desperate for you and you alone. you were like a drug that he could only remain so composed in front of. 

you pulled back with a soft smirk on your lips, levi’s brows raised in annoyance. “sorry, i got a little carried away there.” he muttered, eyes hazy with ecstasy. 

“take your clothes off for me?” you asked quietly, your voice a hot whisper on his face. you didn’t miss the way his pupils dilated slightly; red, swollen lips parting just barely and the ghost of a hitch dragging from his chest. 

“eager, are we?” he asked seriously, lips just daring to upturn. you could only smile in response, pulling back to fully sit in the water. he stood from his crouched position, fingers coming to unbutton his dress shirt. your eyes followed his motions with arousal, your own hands lifting to squeeze your soapy breasts. 

you didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened at the motion, fingers slowing the smallest amount. he was nearing the end of his shirt. 

“i missed you so bad,” you drawled, your cunt aching as levi finished getting undressed. the heat of the bathwater must’ve been getting to you - your eyes were cloudy and your forehead sweaty. 

“shit,” levi cursed, stepping in the water and coming to sit in front of you. his eyes were slitted in discomfort. “what’re you doing bathing in water this hot? it’s not good for you.” 

“better this way,” you mumbled, leaning forward so that your faces were inches apart. you moved slowly, carefully crawling onto his lap so that you were straddling his waist, exposed cock sliding easily against your center. levi swore at the sensation. 

levi’s fingers suddenly gripped your jaw, roughly pulling your face down to meet his. the kiss was frantic - a week of built up sexual frustration igniting the side of him that you didn’t usually see. his lack of composure, mouth wet and tongue sloppy against your own. the way his hands gripped your thighs under the warm water. 

you could feel the swollen tip of his dick against your clit, grinding down on it. you didn’t miss the small whimper that clawed its way from his chest, swallowed by your lips. 

once again, you pulled back from the kiss, looking at his face. 

levi’s cheeks were flushed, grip on your legs ridiculously tight. he wanted you so badly; wanted you to sit on him all pretty and make all his stress melt away. 

you brought your hand between your bodies, circling around his hard cock. your thumb swiped across his sensitive tip, levi nearly feral at the simplest of touches. he was so needy for you, eyes silently begging for you to ride him out. and you would. 

his eyes scrunched closed as you slid down on top of his dick, your cunt stretching with ease as you wrapped yourself around him. you were like a menace, kissing his pale skin and sucking on his jaw. there’d most definitely be a hickey there tomorrow, but for once in his life, levi couldn’t seem to care. 

“fuck,” he groaned out, head rolling back against the tub. the only time he’d let you take control, riding him and grinding yourself into his dick. “just- shit, just like that.” 

you placed a chaste kiss to his bruised neck, hands on his shoulders as you bounced your hips up and down, taking in the sight in front of you. his eyes closed, mouth parted and face flushed. his hair was sticking to his sweaty forehead, chest glistening from the water. fuck, if levi wasn’t one of the most unknowingly attractive people you’d ever seen. 

you clenched around him as he bucked his hips upwards into you, a moan leaving your mouth in surprise. the bathwater was haphazardly sloshing over the rim, levi’s fingernails creating divots in your skin. it hurt, but in a way that had your brain doing flips. 

and levi couldn’t ignore the way your tits were bouncing up and down in front of his face, your body wet and hot as you took him within you. it’d been a long week without you, his cock twitching as you fucked each other. 

“gonna let me cum?” you asked breathlessly, the ghost of a smile on your lips. it felt ironic, asking such a question when you were clearly the one in control. your words had a certain effect on him; the thought of your pretty pussy throbbing around him and milking his seed driving him to insanity. his teeth were gritted, trying so hard to last as he let go of your hips to squeeze your soapy breasts. 

“only if you’re a good girl and clean this up when we’re done,” he seethed through his teeth as you brought your ass down, grinding a circle on his cock. it had you tossing your head back, the pressure in the pit of your stomach beginning to rear its head. 

you would give anything to remember how fucked-out levi’s face got. his fair complexion did little to hide his impending orgasm; face red and sweaty. 

the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you, your arousal holding you in a steamy, wet chokehold. you would be a good girl for him, you would.  

“of course, anything for you,” you whimper, smiling as you watch your words wrap themselves around his head, brows furrowing as he allows himself to succumb. 

despite being in the hot bathwater, you can feel him come undone, your own orgasm quick to follow as he fills you up. your hips stutter against his, trying to contain your sounds by resting your head in the crook of his neck. 

levi groaned out as you run him dry. his hands leave your chest to grip your ass, squeezing lovingly as you panted out the rush of dopamine. 

“missed this,” levi breathed against your head. your tight cunt was still enveloping his dick, but neither of you moved. your heart swelled at his words, placing a soft kiss to his collarbone. “but why’d you have to mark me up like that?” 

“what ever do you mean?” you drawled out, trying to suppress your smile. you didn’t see the way he rolled his blue eyes, annoyance tracing his face. “your skin is just so pretty, i had to.” 

“tch,” he complained, lightly shoving your shoulder back. “you promised you’d clean all this water up.” 

“i know,” another kiss to his chest. “and i will, for you.” 

<3 <3 <3 

[pure-kirarin]

The flowers of evil - Sanji x f!reader (Hanahaki)

A/N : Hiii ! thanks a lot for this request. I had a lot of fun writing it ! I didn’t know what hanahaki was before. I really adored it. It’s such a beautiful metaphore for one-sided love. I hope that you will like this ! 

Hanahaki definition : a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated (wiki)

Warnings : Angst (but happy ending) - Unrequited love

____________________

You forgot when it all started, when these doomed flowers of evil began to blossom allover your body, asphyxiating you, extracting the air from your lungs. The mysterious sickness took over your body, metamorphosing it into a garden of murderous flowers.

Red spider lilies, a field of them, encercled your frail limbs in your sleep, strangling you almost to death, sealing your agony. It was a slow process, a sadistic sickness that savoured each second of torture.

But what was worse ? The pain of the thrones scratching the delicate skin or the pain of a love that was doomed to fail ?

As the flowers grew, you simply withered. Watered by your tears, every day, every breath bringing you closer to an end. For a crime you weren't guilty of, for a love you have never asked for.

« If someone told me that I'd die this way...I would've killed myself. »

And it was true. Your paths crossed with the Strawhats by a mysterious fate. They have found you just after your ship got wrecked by the marine.

You were the only survivor. How ironic.

It was as if you survived just to die to that illness.

The evil flowers have spared you to savour the pain.

Since there were no options, you had to stay with them, but little by little they grew on you just as you grew on them. But someone stood out. His kindness was something you have never encountered before. It was all in the eyes, in his laugh, in the way he treated you like you were the only woman on earth. Oh god, it seemed perfect, too perfect ?

« I am so happy to be his friend ! »

Why couldn't you settle for that ? Why did you want more ?

It was greed and yearning. Craving a happiness that wasn't yours. He wasn't one to give his heart to one woman. You knew it too well, but then, why did you want otherwise ?

The heart wants what it wants. You stopped looking for a reason.

It all started by a habit, a ritual. Coffee in the morning, no sugar, no breakfast.

The cook always woke up earlier to prepare food for the crew. You on the other hand, weren't a breakfast person.

Until you met him.

« Y/N-chan, you're up early today too. » He said, back turned to you, pouring coffee in a cup.

The smell of the coffee invaded the kitchen. You were sitting in front of the table, hair in a mess, yawning. His voice was soft and comforting ; a morning breeze.

«I like waking up early. I get some peaceful moments before everyone else wakes up. » You chuckle.

He puts the cup in front of you. Not only the cup, also a plate with a pastry on it ; a croissant. You look at Sanji, confused ; he knew that you didn't eat for breakfast.

« I made this especially for you, (Y/N)-chan. It's bad to skip breakfast. »

You still remember the buttery richness of the croissant, the face he made as your teeth sunk into it, Just try it for me, he said.  And he was right. It was delicious. Was it his skill as a chef, or his encouraging smile that stimulated your appetite ?

Your appetite for something else grew simultaneously.

The long nights you have spent contemplating the stars on the deck. The times he taught you how to use a knife and how you almost cut your finger. And the sweet, sweet taste of croissant balancing the bitterness of coffee, like a bandaid on a deadly wound.

If you didn't love me, why did you do all of this ?

Sometimes, when your chest couldn't take it anymore, you were visited by that thought, that cruel thought. You blamed him. How couldn't you ? It was his kindness that made you fall. It was his gentle smile that was going to be the end of you. And yet, what hurt most wasn't the flowers that grew in your lungs, it was the pain of not being loved in return. The pain of not being good enough for a man like him.

At first, it was a few petals that you coughed. You didn't understand, but when he was closer to you, you felt so light, when he was further, it felt like death. Your yearning for him grew, your body was moved by a fever that made you wish to be dead.

It took you a few days to figure out that the sickness that was gnawing you from the inside like a worm was love sickness.

You knew the condition, it was hanahaki, you have read about it in some fairytales. How could it be real ? Its victim has flowers grow inside of them, grow till it kills them silently.

You tried to hide it, but how when you had a month to live at best ? Everyone started to notice your pale complexion.

You were decaying by the day. In front of you, you had the disease and the cure.

« (Y/N)-chan » His voice. His damned voice making you fall even more. You turn to the side, facing the wall, resting in your bed. You refused to look at him. Did you really loathe him for not loving you back ?

Seeing that you didn't answer, he just keeps talking,

« These are beautiful flowers.. » He says as he looks at the red spider lilies resting in a porcelain vase. Would he say the same if he saw the flowers on your body ?...

« You should tell me if you don't feel alright...You're different those days. You don't even eat anymore. You can count on me. I know that you will feel better if you open up.

-You know nothing at all, Sanji »

You cut him off and sit down on the bed. You were just wearing a nightgown that showed your bruised arms. Fine cuts caused by the flowers that grew on your skin were displayed. You had to snatch them violently multiple times a day.  

« You know nothing at all, you said that these flowers were beautiful. Do you even know what they mean..Sanji ? »

He looks at you in disbelief, he holds your arm, looking at the cuts. His touch feels like ice and fire on the bruised skin. His thumb caresses softly a wound, making you shiver. Don’t touch me in that way or I will fall even more...

-Who did this to you ?!

The bruises were like ones of ropes ; it was the stem of the roses that would encircle your arms in your sleep. You snatched off your arm, how could you tell him that it was him ?

You did this to me Sanji.

- It's none of your business...Come on. Leave me alone. I don't want to see you.

The words you spit out felt like poison and hurt him.  You didn't even dare looking in his eyes. Those cruel words, you said them so he goes away. To stop the suffering. His worrying looks hurt more as they emphasized your unrequited love. You put a hand on your lips, nauseous.

-(Y/N) ! This is serious. What is the matter with you ? You look sick. I'll call Chopper right now. You go rest.

He gets up and you follow him, almost falling on the ground. You hold his arm, head on his back.

-Don't go ! Please don't. I don't want anyone to see me like this. There isn't anything Chopper can do for me. I am done with all of this. I want it all to end.

[ If it hurts this much, why am I still in love with you ? If it pains me so much, enough to kill me, why does it have to be you ?

If only I have closed my eyes and let myself die that day. If only I died along with my comrades. I would have had a meaningful death.

But here I am, having to die of love.]

You stepped back and started caughing red petals. You put both your hands on your mouth trying to cover it. Sanji turns back, terrified. He didn't understand what was with you, his cheerful, gentle (Y/N)-chan. He didn't understand why you pushed him away like this, as if his fingers burned your skin. As if his mere sight was killing you.

-Don't look at me...Please...Sanji...Don't look. You fall to the ground, your head looking down and tears running down your cheeks. It pained him so much to see you in that state. The petals you were coughing looked like blood. It was stupid, he felt cruel to think that even in such a state you looked so delicate, a flower.

He held the hand that you had on your face and moved it away to take a look at your face, eyebrows frowned, an anger growing inside of him. So, you, his (Y/N)-chan was in love with a bastard that didn't love you back ? It was certain. He knew about this condition.

Hanahaki, a mythical disease born out of one-sided love.

-(Y/N)-chan...This is...

-Hanahaki. You whisper, you can't hide it anymore now, it's too late,

He holds you against his chest, now thorns growing around your body. And you thought that in that moment, you could die in his arms and you'd be happy. Maybe in another life, you thought, maybe in another universe you'll love me back. Maybe it's the price I have to pay for having you...

-Don't die on me. Please. I am sure that...That this bastard loves you back. I mean...You are a goddess, (Y/N). How could anyone...do this to you. Tsk. It makes me sick just to think of it. I'll go look for him and bring him right now ! Hell, I'll kill him if he doesn't love you back.

You have a bitter smile. The flowers grow more and more, you were now vomiting entiere flowers that fell into his lap. You held onto him tighter.

-It's impossible...He is...An idiot...He doesn't even notice and it's right in front of his eyes...

-It doesn't matter. Just tell me who and I wi-

-Why ?! Why do you keep being so kind to me ? Why did you do all of this ? Why are you so gentle, so caring ? Why did you care that I don't eat breakfast ? Why did you make sure I don't feel cold on the deck ? And most of all, why are you like this with all girls ? It kills me...bitter laugh.  Your kindness is killing me ! Don't act like this if you don't want girls to fall for you, you idiot ! Don't play with my feelings !

The blond man froze instantly. He has never imagined than a woman like you would fall for him, and to realize that you were suffering because of him left him in a loss of words. Him, Sanji, the lovecook, the man that devoted all of his existence to please women, those delicate creatures that he wasn't worthy of. The same Sanji was the reason of your distress and the object of your desire.

To feel desired to the point of death was flattering in a cruel way but also so foreign. He has convinced himself that no woman would love him and he was happy that way. It was enough for him to share the air that you breathe. But you were offering more ; a flower so pure, so delicate that his fingers could turn into dust.

-It's me that you love ?...

You didn't have any strenght left. You didn't answer. Your days were counted. You felt your chest getting lighter after confessing. It was relief. Words that had to be said.

-It's because of me that you were suffering so much...(Y/N)-chan...You...Wanted someone like me this much ?

He holds you tighter and the thorns sink in his skin, but he didn't care much, the pain that he was feeling inside was way bigger.

-I never thought that I deserved someone like you. I never thought that I deserved to be loved. It was enough for me to see you smile. But you are telling me that you are dying because I don't love you back ?...I would give up my life for you.  And because you want someone like me, because you love me this much, I will make you the happiest woman on earth.

It was at this moment that you made him realize, you, on the verge of death, that even a man like him could be loved ; A man that even his father didn't want.

Your eyes were veiled by tears, was he saying this only to mess with you further ? However, the flowers stopped from spreading, and the petals started fading away little by little.

-Sanji...You...I...

He puts a finger on your lips and just says with a smile ;

- (Y/N)-chan, thank you for loving me. For wanting me so bad...Nobody has every loved me the way you do...Nobody has ever loved me to death. 

He kisses your tears and adds ; 

-I love you too. 

[nbrook29]

Lmao I don’t know how this happened 😆

***

June 26th 2021, Saturday

When Sander wakes up, it’s to the early morning June sunlight hitting him straight in the face. There’s a vague smell of alcohol lingering in the air, and he groans pitifully when he remembers the amount of beer he drank last night; well, it wasn’t that much per se, but for his not-usually-drinking self it was a bit much, which would explain the sour taste in his mouth. He could be beating himself up for letting a little too much loose and messing up his rather strict rules, but it’s finally summertime and he was feeling so happy and free. Exams are done and over with, bigger gatherings are allowed again, and most importantly, the love of his life has just graduated high school and-

Wait. 

He blinks his eyes open, arm reaching to the other side of the bed expecting a warm body, but it’s met with cold sheets instead. 

Where did that love of his life go? 

Bones cracking when he sits up on the bed, he rubs the sleep out of his eyes like a little boy, looking around the room, a twinge of worry in his mind. Robbe was way more drunk than him yesterday, being a giggly, inebriated, lovely, messy mess that was barely standing when the party came to an end. Sander had to practically carry him to their cabin, with Robbe wrapped like a koala around his back, holding tight as he mumbled love declarations into Sander’s hair until he fell asleep, arm looped around his head and cheek resting on top of it. It was unbearably cute, but it was also a miracle Sander’s legs didn’t give out because as small as Robbe is, carrying his dead weight on his back is a challenge.

For a second, a dark scenario enters his mind, and he’s working himself up over Robbe maybe getting up at some point to throw up and being so drunk he choked in the bathroom (yes, he’s a tad dramatic), but then a scrap of paper lying on the makeshift bedside table that is his backpack catches his sight and relief washes over him. 

It’s clearly torned out from his sketchbook and he smiles before he even reaches for it.

Come and find me when you wake up x

Little hearts were added all around for good measure and then there’s another message below.

P.S. You’re so fucking hot xxxxx

Snorting, Sander thinks back to yesterday’s afternoon when he showed up to pick Robbe up with his dad’s car so they could meet everyone in Ostend. The way his jaw dropped wide open seeing his brand new look makes him feel very smug at the mere memory.

Right next to the note there’s that piece of confetti he put in Robbe’s long hair at the party, his boyfriend blushing so prettily when Sander told him he couldn’t find a flower as beautiful as him around so the confetti had to do for the time being. 

That’s Sander’s favorite activity: pulling a blush out of him with his sappy lines. Well, maybe after getting lost in their out of this world kisses. Or making love to him, slow and sweet or fast and dirty, Sander’s not picky.

5 minutes and he’s out the door after the quickest shower of his life, minty fresh and ready for a quest to find his other half. It’s still very early, the clock showing a few minutes past eight, and to be honest, Sander wonders how on earth is Robbe up and about already. He was fully preparing for a morning full of Robbe’s moans (not the good kind), cursing him for letting him drink so much and swearing on his life that he’ll never touch alcohol again.

The beach is almost empty, barely a few people lounging on the sand, and it takes him no time to spot longish brown curls flying with the force of the wind. Robbe looks lost to the world around him, sitting cross-legged and leaning back onto his arms, face turned to the sun to catch the early morning rays. A soft smile is dancing on his lips as he takes in the sight of the calm sea stretching till the horizon to the sound of whatever is playing in his headphones (probably Bowie because Robbe has a Master’s degree in his music now, courtesy of Sander Driesen) and he looks the most relaxed Sander has seen him in weeks. He looks beautiful.

And Sander is so so in love with him it hurts.

The boy must’ve sensed his presence because he turns around just when he’s a few meters away, his smile growing wide at the sight of him, squinting a little and wow, how does he look so good after a night like that? Sander wonders whether it’s his lovesick devotion that makes him see Robbe through a filter or if sleep did its job marvellously this time.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Robbe pulls at his jean jacket to sit him right next to himself and wastes no time before looping his arms around his neck, peppering his lips with good morning kisses.

“Hey, drunkie,” Sander teases once Robbe gets his fit, earning a half-hearted glare and a soft scoff.

“I was not that drunk.”

“You fell asleep on my head while I was carrying your butt to bed.”

“Well your head is very comfy,” Robbe states matter-of-factly, leaving no room for further discussion because he shuts up any snarky comment Sander may have had with another kiss. That’s a-okay with him, and he tangles his hand in Robbe’s gorgeous locks that he will worship till the day he dies, never missing an occasion to bury his fingers in the tangled strands. The other hand joins in the fun, tugging playfully at the earring he’s also a tiny bit too obsessed with and delighting in the high-pitched sound it pulls out of Robbe.

“What are you doing here so early? I thought you’d be dead to the world till at least noon.” Sander makes himself comfy in Robbe’s embrace, leaning against him and playing with Robbe’s long fingers that are resting on his stomach.

The boy huffs a quiet laugh, a warm puff of air tickling Sander’s neck. “I think it’s the sea breeze making me sober up quicker than normally,” he pauses, hand nudging lightly at Sander’s chin to make him lift his head back and meet his eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he continues. “That and also I think that I was less drunk on alcohol and more drunk on love.”

Sander may be the king of sappy lines, but Robbe has a few of his own up in his sleeve, and everytime he pulls one out, it makes him melt into a pile of goo. Sander crashes their lips together in a kiss that’s a little too heavy for a morning in a public space, but hey, they’re drunk on love and he doesn’t care, Robbe doesn’t care either, and there aren’t many people around them anyway so fuck it. He hums into the kiss, Robbe’s tongue grazing the roof of his mouth almost as by accident, and it’s so good, it always is.

“Last night, it felt so... life-changing, you know? And I don’t know why cause not that much is changing, really.”

“You’re graduating high school, it feels big.”

“Yeah, but I’m staying here for uni, I’m not moving or anything. I don’t know, I think I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic lately.” Robbe shrugs like he doesn’t really understand it, but doesn’t want to dwell on it either. There’s a small frown between his eyebrows though so Sander reaches to smooth it out with his thumb.

Then, something comes to his mind. “Maybe it’s because of us?”

Robbe’s frown gets deeper. “What do you mean?”

Sander turns around in his arms, nodding at the surroundings, voice laced with excitement. “You know this is the first time we have been at the beach since we met?”

Brown eyes blink at him in confusion, but then they light up and match Sander’s excitement.

“Oh my god, you’re right! Fuck, it feels like a different lifetime.”

A very miserable, shitty lifetime if you ask Sander. For both of them.

“I was so lonely back then,” Robbe sighs.

Sander notices a tiny shadow of sadness fogging Robbe’s eyes, like it always happens when he thinks back to that period of his life. Some wounds were cut too deep to fully heal, but Sander’s always there to bring him back to the present.

Tugging lightly on his hair to make him look back at him, Sander gives him a lopsided grin.

“Not gonna lie, I’m very pleased this time around the only person that’s allowed to kiss you is me.”

Robbe hums, a smirk brewing on his lips. “Hmm, I don’t know, I wouldn’t say no to a kiss from Jens I think.”

And Sander knows he’s doing it on purpose, absolutely loves to rile him up and play the “Jens” card when he wants to be snogged into submission. Robbe learned early on that even though Sander’s aware he’s just joking, his possessive streak always comes out in situations like this, making their kisses extra good and their sex extra hot.

“Careful now,” Sander breathes against his mouth, the pent up tension that accumulated last night and wasn’t relieved because Robbe was too drunk hitting him hard. It seems to be mutual because Robbe bites his lip seductively, impish smile letting Sander know that he’s getting the exact reaction he was hoping for.

“Or what?”

“Or I’m gonna carry you to bed the way I did last night, but the finale will be a little different.”

Suddenly, Robbe’s smile turns softer, the gear change leaving Sander a bit confused, but he welcomes it with a chuckle when Robbe snuggles close to him, nuzzling into his neck and letting out a content sigh.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs sweetly against his skin, breaking and healing Sander’s heart all at once. 

“I love you too, cutie. In elk universum.” 

A giggle erupts from Robbe at the universe line. “It’s been a while since you said that.”

Sander presses a kiss to his temple. “I think I'm feeling a bit nostalgic too.” 

***

The beach is slowly starting to fill out with people and bursting their little bubble so they get up reluctantly to the sounds of their grumbling stomachs that demand late breakfast. They notice their friends in the distance, spreading a huge blanket on the sand and carrying armfulls of food, and they walk over to them slowly, smiling goofily at each other and swaying their joined hands, paying no mind to people around. 

“Hey, Sander?” Robbe says suddenly.

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna be dating a college boy now,” Robbe announces, and he sounds so proud and so adorable that Sander has to tease him a little.

He sighs, putting an extra edge of sorrow into it. “I think you’re getting too old for me, Robin.” A choked-off sound of pain follows, Robbe’s mellowy state not stopping him from jabbing his elbow in Sander’s ribs when he’s being a cheeky little shit. He should’ve known better by now - Robbe’s elbows are merciless. 

They arrive at the spot shoving each other playfully until Zoe yells at them to behave and sit their butts down like good boys to eat their food. They dig in without needing to be asked twice, their previous bickering forgotten as Robbe feeds him sandwiches, pretending they’re airplanes and making Sander and everyone around laugh hard.

This, today, yesterday, is a new memory. One that wipes away the angst he used to associate sea and beach with after enviously watching Robbe in the arms of someone else. 

This time, Robbe’s smiles are directed at him, his eyes are constantly seeking out him, hand slides surreptitiously into his hand, and Sander’s heart is bursting with happiness.

They’re going on a roadtrip this summer, just him and his favorite skater boy, and Sander cannot fucking wait. Just like he can’t wait for their future together.

And if there’s a ring sitting in his bottom drawer nobody needs to know for now. 

Robbe will find out in 55 days.

[thatweeboverthereisthirsty]

Leona x Reader: Insecurities

This was an angst/comfort story I’ve been meaning to write up for a while now. I finally finished it and am a little iffy about how the ending turned out, but I needed to get it done so I could move on to some other requests. There’s also a hint in there about a future personal headcanon prompt that I will write up when I get the chance. 

Rated M because of a reference to bad language and the black market for women (it’s very brief and for the most part subtle but I’m just warning you)

Warnings: angst, language, violence, kidnapping, fem!reader, mention of sexual slavery

If you would like to know what Kahaba means you can research it online. It is swahili but it is an inappropriate word and isn’t necessary for the plot line.

   The flowers swayed lightly in the breeze, spreading their natural perfume across the area. You inhaled deeply and sighed. The sun felt lovely on your face and bare shoulders. 

   The shirt you wore had no sleeves, only straps which criss crossed in an elegant pattern on your back. A string of beads fell across your chest and the pants you wore were thin and billowy. You had received the outfit on the morning of your second day at the castle. Despite your boyfriend's lack of royal manners, he was still the second prince of the savannah and so you were treated like royalty as well. 

   Now you stood in the castle gardens all by yourself, per your request, and simply enjoyed the peacefulness of the area around you. It had been a long week filled with feasts and parties that left you utterly exhausted. It was no wonder that Leona wanted to sleep all the time. You couldn’t imagine how anyone who didn’t have the energy of an eight year old could live in such a bustling environment. 

   The amount of maids and guards that seemed to follow you everywhere was simply ridiculous. You were plenty capable of taking care of yourself and it wasn’t like any bad people were after you anyways. You doubted that most outsiders even knew you existed, much less the fact that you were spending the holidays in the castle. After much persuasion you had convinced them to leave you be, for at least thirty minutes in the gardens. Nothing could possibly go wrong in that amount of time. Turns out you were wrong. 

   A whistling sound quickly came to your attention and something whizzed past your ear. “What?” Another whistling sound drew your attention and you turned to check what could possibly be coming at you. A searing pain made itself known in your shoulder. You grabbed it quickly and yelped. Your eyes looked around for the source of your pain and landed on an arrow embedded in the ground. 

   Confusion and fear spread through your body as another arrow latched onto your leg. You shut your eyes in pain and cried out as your leg buckled. No, I have to run. Goddamnit instincts now is not the time to take a break. Adrenaline should have had you up and running by now but instead your body felt sluggish. It didn’t take long to figure out what had happened. As numbness spread through your shoulder and leg you fought valiantly against the sedatives which worked quickly to put you down. 

   The gardens blurred into a painting of abstract colors and you distantly noticed a person approaching you. “Why...sleepy...who…” Your voice slurred your words till they were nearly intangible and you felt the last sparks of fight being extinguished. Patches of black dotted your vision as you sank into the vulnerable sleep that you knew could be your demise.

-------

   Bubbles. Bubbles were forming underneath you and pushing you towards the surface. It was a pleasant feeling but you couldn’t help but notice the worry that gnawed on your heart as the surface approached. You knew that above the water was where you had to go, and yet a part of you didn’t want to leave the comfortable warmth that the water provided. As the surface drew near you began to understand why you didn’t want to escape the water. A dull pain in your shoulder and leg quickly turned into a harsh sting. Your head throbbed and bright light stabbed at your eyelids in an attempt to damage the fragile pupils hidden behind them.

   Finally and regrettably you were pushed through the top of the water and flung into consciousness. As if you really had needed air you started panting and coughing violently. Your throat was dry and your lungs constricted painfully every time you wheezed in another breath. After a few more minutes of hacking you realized it was probably due to the temperature in the room. Each of your fingers and toes were numb to the point where they would barely respond and unconscious shivers wracked your body. 

   “Ha look who woke up!” A voice echoed through the room and made you wince as your head throbbed in response to the high volume. A man in about his thirties chuckled and made his way over to you. As a first response you struggled, trying to put distance between yourself and the stranger. It didn’t work however since you were tightly tied to a chair. The man chuckled and leaned down so he could look straight into your eyes. 

   “You poor thing. I had originally planned on kidnapping you for ransom but it turns out that the royal family isn’t all that interested in having you back.” Your blood ran cold. No. He’s lying. Leona probably has people out looking for you at this very moment. 

   “I can see you trying to convince yourself that I’m bluffing. It’s truly unfortunate. I really could have used the money. However, you are attractive and young enough that I should be able to fetch a pretty penny for you on the black market.” You squirmed and flinched backwards when his hot, rank breath hit your face. You hoped he planned on using the money for dental hygiene. Not that it mattered. Leona would rescue you. After all he loved you.

   “Leona will come for me. He loves me just as I love him. There’s no chance in hell that you will be allowed to get away with this!” The man stepped back at your outburst and looked surprised for a moment before breaking down into hysterical laughter. 

   “Oh man that is one of the best things I have ever heard,” he trembled, trying to contain himself, “I contacted your so called lover and he told me it wasn’t worth his time. Said he would rather take a nap than deal with this. Your prince has made his decision and I have made mine. You will be a fine slave, as long as we cut off that worthless tongue.”

   You wrestled with the ropes harder in a desperate attempt to escape. Tears slipped down your cheeks and thoughts of hopelessness invaded your mind. Would Leona really do that to me? Of course he would. It’s all been a lie. He doesn’t love me. He’s too lazy to love anyone. That stupid lion! Mentally you shushed yourself. These thoughts were ridiculous. The man was obviously bluffing. This man is a kidnapper you can’t trust anything he says. 

   A ring drew your attention back to the man in front of you. He had gotten much closer and was now standing directly in front of you. The sound of a facetime call being received echoed in the dark room. 

   “What?” An annoyed but familiar voice came through the phone and you smiled realizing who it was. It would all be over soon. Leona would come for you and you would be safe. 

   “Good afternoon your majesty,” a growl reverberated through the device, “I am giving you one last chance, give me what I want and you can have the girl. If not,” the man flipped open a knife and pressed against your cheek. He dragged the tip of the blade down to your lips, leaving a ribbon of crimson behind. “I’ll take her tongue and her body. Don’t you think she would make a fine kahaba, prince of the savannah?” 

   A sigh came and you could almost imagine your boyfriend rolling his eyes. You nodded to yourself to try and reassure yourself that he would come for you no matter what. “For the last time she’s expendable. Do what you wish but don’t call me again. I have a date with my bed.” 

   The beep of the call ending cut through the tension in the air and confirmed the man's claims. Dread and hopelessness bubbled up in your stomach and filled you with horror. He really never loved you. The realization numbed your cheek and the rope burns on your skin. Leona’s words repeated themselves in your head. 

   Distantly you registered your kidnapper reaching for you. There was hardly any response when he roughly grabbed your chin and forced your lips apart. Two dry and bitter tasting fingers yanked your tongue forward and you whimpered in response. The man chuckled and pulled the knife back out, although you could barely see what he was doing through your tears. 

   “Now stay still Kahaba, we wouldn’t want to further damage that pretty face of yours now would we.” The man raised his hand and you squeezed your eyes shut as a stinging sensation hit your tongue.

----------

   Startled, you opened your eyes and instinctively reached up to feel your tongue. The muscle was still intact although you did taste blood in your mouth. Feeling around your mouth, you realized that it wasn’t a knife that had sliced your tongue, it had been your teeth. A sigh of relief left you. 

   Quickly you realized that you weren’t tied to a chair and you weren’t in a damp room. You were in a large and finely decorated room. It was dark but not pitch black since moonlight and starlight filtered through the open windows. A calming breeze blew in past the beaded curtains making your skin prickle in response. 

   It was then that you noticed your shivering. The savannah often had pleasant weather even at night and your soft sheets and blankets had kept you comfortably warm without being overbearing. Although the days had been almost sweltering, the night was a very enjoyable temperature. Nothing to illicit shivering on the level that you were. It became apparent that you were not so much shivering, more trembling. 

   A nightmare. That’s all that it was. You wrapped your arms around yourself and moved out of the bed so you could get to the bathroom. The light stung your eyes but you bared it until they adjusted. Splashing cool water on your face you let your mind wander back to the contents of your dream. Soon tears slipped down your cheeks and into the porcelain sink below. 

   “Kahaba” The word echoed through your mind and you sobbed harder. Shaking you sunk to the floor and stifled a cry in your palm. The cold tile reflected your image and let you see how pathetic you looked. Crying over a dream. No wonder Leona didn’t love you. The cries stopped as you paused. But Leona does love me. It was all just a dream so why am I worrying. Sniffing you repeated the logic in your head as you cleaned up your face and tended to your puffy eyes. If you went to sleep like this then they would surely be red and irritated for the rest of the day. 

   A sigh left your lips once you had calmed down enough to feel tired. Willing yourself not to think about the nightmare you laid down and attempted to find sleep. Yet as hard as you tried, sleep would not come.

----------

   Leona growled when he sensed another presence in his room. He sat up and glared into the darkness. His cat eyes quickly adjusted allowing him to spot his sister in law standing by his bed. His growls ceased and he raised a questioning eyebrow. It was unlike her to enter his room in the first place, nevermind the middle of the night. 

   Scenarios clouded Leona’s head as he remembered that you were staying in the palace as well. Normally if something happened he would only find out about it afterwards or if his help was needed, but if something had happened to you then naturally as your lover he would be informed immediately. 

   “What happened? Is everything alright? Is it y/n? Is she hurt?” Farena’s wife shushed him and held up a hand. 

   “Y/n is unharmed although I do believe she had a nightmare.” Leona relaxed and sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I was walking by on my way to bed when I picked up sounds of crying from her room.” He tensed up again. Crying? You had never mentioned having nightmares before. 

   “Thank you for letting me now.” He said before she left the room. He pushed his covers off despite his body telling him to lay back down. The hallway was dimly lit so it didn’t disturb his eyes while also being easy to travel. When he made it to your room he leaned his ear against the door and listened carefully. He picked up on the sounds of your breathing and noticed that they were fast and inconsistent breaths. Despite the fact that he couldn’t hear you crying he could pick up on your distress scent and your body was obviously coming down from a panicked state. 

   Leona carefully pushed open the door and your breathing stopped. Knowing that you had already noticed his entrance, he sighed and closed the door behind him. The prince made his way over to you and laid down on your bed behind you. The mattress dipped and shifted as your boyfriend's warmth moved closer. He wrapped his arms around your stiff form and pressed against your back, whispering a low “relax” in your ears before you finally let your tense body unravel itself. 

   Minutes of silence passed where the only things heard were your mixed breathing and the occasional rustle of sheets. Then Leona rolled onto his back and pulled you so your head was on top of his chest. You gasped and froze. His heartbeat thrummed in your ear and you could feel the rise and fall of his ribs with every breath. 

   “What was your nightmare about?” You were shocked to find out Leona knew about your nightmare, but you supposed someone could have heard you crying through the walls. For a moment you lay there quietly, trying to determine how you should explain it to him. When you felt that you had gained enough confidence, you started at the beginning of your dream and recited the events that followed. 

   When you got to the part where Leona decided that he didn’t need you, Leona growled and tightened his grip on you. By the time you finished you felt like crying again and you were sure your face was burning with shame. It was hard to admit weakness to anyone, let alone Leona. He probably thought that the dream was for the most part right, and that you were too weak to be an adequate mate for him. 

   The lion man sighed.

   “Well let me start by saying that the dream you had is a load of bull,” he mentally winced at how harsh he sounded. He had never been good at this kind of stuff. “I would never let you get kidnapped. Nevermind leave you there.” his tone softened and he tilted your chin up. “Listen, I’m not good with words and things, but I do understand my feelings for you clearly, and you mean so much more to me than anything has. I would never sleep again if it meant keeping you safe.” Your eyes widened at this. “I love you. Nothing is ever going to change or get in the way of that.” 

   Taking a moment to process what he had said, a thought struck you. 

   “Leona? You don’t think I’m weak do you?” The lion stiffened then relaxed beneath you.

   “Of course not my little herbivore. I believe that you are very strong in ways that other people aren’t. Even me.” You smiled and nuzzled into his chest. Your insecurities had been proven incorrect and you suddenly felt exhausted after all that worrying. Underneath you, Leona began to purr as your breathing evened out. Tomorrow he would console you further, but for now, he was happy to see you rest.

[mxvladdy]

wait holy shit youre taking requests???? okay first of all, im in love with your writing skills especially those true forms they are *chefs kiss* magnifique. second, may i request for an angst but fluff ending prompt for barbatos/simeon/solomon (im an absolute simp for them) about MC having a really bad asthma attack and coupled with anxiety attack? (totally not me lmao) please and thank you! sorry for being too specific!

A/N: Oshbagosh! I hope you are good fam! You have excellent taste in simpin ngl Barbatos came out of left field for me, though I am weak for a quick wit and sharp tongue lol. And thank you for liking my works! Sorry, this took so long;.;

I hope my research was good and accurate! 

Barbatos

Does not know what is going on at first. Were you having an allergic reaction to something you ate? Had you gotten into some Devildom spices he hadn’t secured well enough?

Panics internally. He is very ready to spend the exurbanite amount of energy it would take to turn back the clocks before you started wheezing. 

Externally he keeps a level head, glad his gloves hide how sweaty his palms are. He remembers then your human medical file. 

He tends to you quickly grabbing your medication and carrying you away from whatever triggered this attack. 

“Do you need a doctor?” Barbatos asks for the umpteenth time. He runs a gloved hand up and down your back. You shake your head weakly coughing to try and dislodge some phlegm now breakdown in your throat. You take a shaky breath feeling your airways loosen, the fresh air that fills your lungs taste so sweet. 

“I’ll be ok Barb.” You wheeze taking another deep inhale from your inhaler. “Stop hovering and sit please, you are starting to stress me out more.” The demon makes a weird tutting noise in distress but comes to sit next to you. You lean back with a groan. The garden wall was rough on your back but you didn’t care at the moment. It had been so long since you had a flare-up you had almost forgotten what it felt like. You shift over slightly seeking out the heat of your companion's body. Exhausted you flop over to rest your head on his shoulder.

“Here let me.” He pulls out his ornate handkerchief and starts whipping at your nose and eyes. “What triggered this love? Have I missed someplace in my cleaning?” He knew he didn’t, never in all his years had he ever missed a spot. He would retire in shame if he did, but he felt like he had to fill the silence. If you were talking that meant you were alright. Right? He curses at himself. He thought he knew more about humans than this, yet you somehow threw curveball after curveball at him. He needs you to be safe and happy yet he choked on something like this? Perhaps he would suffer more of Solomon’s companionship to pick his brain on human ailments. As long as he could dodge eating any of his cooks.   

You fidget as he cleans your face and fusses over you, but you let him. This was for his benefit more than yours. “No, I think it's pollen. Your plants are not something I’m used to yet, and with the wind, it just hit harder.” He grunts, not pleased with your answer. He could do anything about the plants, and things out of his control were few and far between. You catch the inner argument he was having with his many selves and scoff. “Barb-” You take the cloth from him and tuck it in your pocket. “You and all your selves absolutely cannot control my illness, and that's ok.” He doesn’t look convinced, no doubt looking for a loophole in the webs he weaves. 

“Given the time I-” He stops at your withering look. “I don’t like not being in control.” Your look softens. 

“Who does?” You clear your throat finally feeling a bit more like yourself. Well, at least the garden wasn’t spinning anymore. “There. I think I can manage. Can you help me to the nurses' office? I should get a check-up since it’s been a while since I’ve had an attack. Then I think I’m going to call it a day.” 

Barbatos nods helping you to your shaky feet. His hands locked around your arm like he was afraid you would crumble again. You give him a reassuring look and lean into his weight. You didn’t need it, but it was a nice feeling, being looked after. Besides, it was so rare to get his sole attention. “I’ll inform the young master  that we will be taking the rest of the day off.” 

“We?” 

“Of course.”  He says resolutely. “Unless you wish for me to leave?” He barely contains his smile when he feels your hands squeeze tighter around his bicep. 

“As long as I’m not impeding.” Your words are half-hearted at best. You don’t give a damn if it throws off some super-secret agenda, you were happy to have more time with him. He calmed your nerves. 

Simeon

He hadn’t meant to trigger an attack. The weather outside was simply lovely.  It was dry and warm with a breeze that made grass dance in a mesmerizing way. The track around one of the Devildom’s many bodies of crystalline water was beautiful at this time of the day. He had to share his enthusiasm.

He just wanted to go for a walk with you. He had so much to talk about with you that he forgot how long his legs are compared to yours. He was so excited he didn’t realize how fast his gait is and how much you were struggling to keep up with him. He didn’t realize your troubles until he felt a sweaty palm on his wrist. 

Openingly gets panicked but knows about human medicine and where you store your inhaler. 

Simeon breathes deeply through his nose and out his mouth. One deep inhale and one long exhale- focus just focus. His chest clenches in alarm at your shallow pants, his eyesight narrowing down to pinpricks. Blessedly he keeps a steady hand.

“Slowly now my dear.” He shakes your inhaler before bringing it to your lips. His strong fingers massaging your jaw to loosen it. Squeezing your cheeks he slips the apparatus past your teeth noticing how glassy your eyes were becoming. “Inhale.” He orders thanking his father you understand him enough to comply.  He watches you like a hawk till he hears your heartbeat steady. Once he is sure he could look away he calls Lucifer. He doesn’t remember what he said, but he knew it was a panic-fueled rush.

“Simeon,” He looks up from his phone. “I’m ok…” You wheeze blinking up into the afternoon moons. Simeon shushes you running his warm hands over your cheeks. They were ice-cold despite the heat. He warms his palms with magic watching the fog clear from your gaze. “Thanks.” 

“You shouldn’t thank me.” He pulls away, shaking his head. “This is my fault. I apologize, my dove.” You chuckle breathlessly becoming aware of your surroundings. Last thing you remember was walking up the shoreline. Now the hardwood of the bench pokes at your back. Had you collapsed here? Or did Simeon carry you over? “I should have been more aware of the situation.” He pulls at his hair in frustration. His lower lip turns red as he worries it with his teeth.

You swat his hand away from his hair wincing in sympathy when a few chunks of hair that follow. Linking his dexterous fingers with your clammy ones, you trace the lines in his palm with your thumb. You try to breathe in time with the steady rise and fall of his chest letting your meds take full effect. Your breathing was better, but you still had spots in your vision. “It’s not your fault really. I should have told you when I started feeling bad.” 

“I should have noticed. How can I protect you if I can’t even realize your limitations?” He bemoans. You exhale a jerky laugh. Your lungs throbbing with the sharp movement. It ached for sure, but not enough that you couldn’t get up. Ignoring his protests you get off the bench and pull him up with you.  

“None of that!” You wag a finger in his face. I’m allowed to panic, not you. You try to make light of the situation but your finger trembles in his face.  “You did exactly what you should have so don’t doubt yourself. Sides’-” You clasp yours. hands together playing with your thumbs. “I got horribly distracted too, and pushed myself.” 

“By what?” 

“You.” Your cheeks heat in embarrassment. “ You were so excited to have the day with me I didn’t want to ruin the mood.”

Simeon blinks. “You-didn’t want to ruin the mood by telling me you were having an asthma attack?” You shrug, a childish smile crossing your face. Unbelievable. Simeon swears under his breath. “I-I am at a loss for words.” He places both his hands on your shoulders squeezing them. “I will find them later and then we'll talk about your amazing lack of self-preservation, but for now, Lucifer is waiting for us at the nurses' office.” Not giving you time to argue he scoops you up, arm holding you under your knees and securely around your shoulders.  Once he knew you were safe, he would make sure to have an eye on you at all times.

Solomon

The dusty old library located in the catacombs of the school was a dead giveaway to be trouble for your lungs. You both knew that. He warns you, the moment you feel ill they are leaving, no questions, no arguments. Very much the calmest of the three. He is human...mostly… so he knows the signs and can catch it much faster than the others. 

Still worried about you though. You aren’t a mage,  just his regular old human. 

When he gets nervous he makes jokes. Not appropriate given the circumstances but they just come out. So while he is dragging you from the school he is making the obligatory joke about him taking your breath away.

He will have whatever medications or potions he can think of at the ready for you to use if you need them. Won’t baby you or hover, you’ve lived with this for long he doesn’t want to insult you in any way. But he will keep close and have his ringer on loud in case you need him.

But now he wants you to rest and recover. He’ll keep you company though.

You gaze sleepily out of the bedroom window propped up on an exorbitant amount of puffs and pillows. You breathe out with caution, testing to see if you were still having any lingering effects from being down in the catacombs. It wasn’t anything too serious this time, thankfully. The moment you started clearing your throat and breathing just a little too hard to be considered normal, Soloman had grabbed both your bags and dragged you from the moldy and dusty space. You were a little put out at how quickly your asthma had acted up. You had just found the book you were looking for too. 

“If you keep squirming out of your blankets I’ll seal you in there with magic.” Your captor friend appears, pulling aside the drapes around his bed to sit next to you. He flashes you a cocky grin placing a tray on his bedside table. Solomon scans your face looking for any inkling of pain that might linger. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m hot.” You lie. In truth, the many blankets he wrapped you in felt marvelous, but you were being cantankerous. You wanted to get up and go back to work. The mage raises a pale brow, not believing a word of it.

“Of course you are, my little scholar.” He tucks you in again a little tighter then props your cocooned feet on his legs. “How are you really?” 

You shrug. Compared to other attacks you’ve had this one was thankfully mild.  Most likely because he had whisked you out the winding maze-like library faster than you thought possible. The jitters from the panic attack that followed took more out of you. Luckily for you, Solomon handled that easily too. “You know I want to go back.” You had your hands on the book you wanted when you started feeling a little breathless.  You wanted to believe it was out of excitement for the tomes. But the back of that section of the library was damp, cool, and dark. The perfect trifecta for your lungs to riot. 

Solomon nodded unfazed. “Yes, I’ve come to realize that whenever danger is present you seem to gravitate towards it.” He smiles fondly at your pout. Your thirst for knowledge was almost as insatiable as his, and both of you seemed to have a knack for attracting danger. He watches you fidget in your confines for a little bit more before sighing. “Alright-alright, I get the drift hold still.”  Leaning over you he loosens the covers around your arms to give you a little bit of freedom. As soon as you were free you pinch his nose hard in retaliation. “Oi!”  He laughs pulling back to rub at his nose. “Such violence! And here I came bearing gifts!” 

“That’s for insulting me!” You huff settling back down. “I hope it’s food, I’m starving.” You eye him expectantly. 

“Feed you? After that assault? My, you are brazing.” He picks up the tray he brought despite himself. The school cafe was serving your favorites today. Placing it on your lap he brushes his lips across your cheek. “Plus, I made tea.” You hum in excitement, eyes lighting up with glee. While he couldn’t cook worth a damn (you chalk it up to him irretrievably destroying his sense of taste and smell tolling over potions for years). He did have amazing luck with blending tea leaves and spices. A skill he severely took for granted. 

You pick up the tea and breath deeply only to have a coughing fit. His warm broad hands are there in an instant pushing you back into the pillows. “Sorry-sorry. Still a bit tender.” You smile through watery eyes. “It smells great!” 

“Does it? What do you smell? I admit, I just picked out things that looked pretty together.” He flushes pink rubbing at the back of his neck. 

You take the cup again and sniff. It had a hint of springtime in it, warm and sharp. Something earthy mixed with fire. You take a sip. “Hmm, spicy. Is that licorice?” Solomon nods. 

“It is indeed, I read that licorice and black pepper can help with asthma symptoms and circulation. I figured it could wash the  taste of your meds away.” He jokes watching you eat and take small sips of the steaming brew. He smiles to himself, glad you could get so comfortable in his room. Perhaps once you were dozing he could slip back into the library and conveniently “borrow” the book you had to leave earlier.

[fairytsuk1]

sweet japan breeze | (f)

pairing: izuku midoriya x reader

genre: fluff

words: 3.2k

summary:

Midoriya grins as he traces the soft bridge of your nose, immediately looking away when you turn.

"Is there something on my face?"

"No! No, not at all."

Just the lack of a kiss, is all.

Sweat soaks through your white collared shirt and a string of curses towards the Department of Rare-Quirked Animals goes with it. Gracing you with a uniform more befitting of a tennis player, you grumble noisily. The net handle nearly slips out of your slick hands until you fumble and hold it with a grip that turns your palms white. You can see Midoriya’s green hair appear in your field of vision. He’s trying to act as if he isn’t squinting and analyzing your every behavior, but he is. The look makes you feel like you’re the rare-quirked animal.

“...What,” you squint back at him, squaring your shoulders to face him head on, “are you looking at?”

“What?! Sorry, were you concentrating? You just looked really stressed so I thought you might want a snack,” Midoriya whips his head left and right before sheepishly smiling at you, “I think we’re off trail anyways, my bad!”

You can’t find it in yourself to be annoyed with him, he’s been your partner since you first joined the DORQA. Your head aches at the thought of the insufferable acronym. If you had to see one more poster promoting their stupid monogram, you might need to be locked up.

But him. Your partner Izuku Midoriya...he always had a gleam in his emerald eyes no matter the job, and he always regarded you with a warm smile! He was the epitome of warmth and sunshine, your heart twinged at the thought of you ruining that with your sourpuss attitude.

Your hand brushes his as you take the protein bar, Midoriya’s face lighting up into beautiful shades of salmon. His back straightens and the apples of his cheeks lift. He’s so inexperienced that it’s funny to watch. He was also definitely a people-pleaser; normally you’d poke fun of him but you were too exhausted to do anything but munch on the almond-chocolate bar.

“I’m gonna radio back to headquarters so we can go back to our tent and get some dinner.”

He pulls his radio out and extends the antenna before turning away to call. A realization dawns on you whilst scanning the clear sky. It’s been four days and the white speckled fox was nowhere to be found. There hadn’t even been droppings or footprints; classifying it as extinct would make your life a lot easier but would lead to repercussions in Aizawa’s office. Aizawa...well, you didn’t want to know what would happen if you even dared to think about it.

There was absolutely no way you were going to let him call headquarters and let them know you’d failed on the excursion you begged to go on. It was just plain humiliating; the thought of Bakugou’s smug grin made you want to strangle someone. Bakugou wasn’t even here!

Midoriya had been moments away from speaking until a big fat finger slammed onto the hang-up button. Your foot beat on the ground, aura reeking of stubbornness. Midoriya cried out and turned to remedy the building lecture he was going to receive from Aizawa. You were quicker than him, swiping like a cat and jerking the phone from his grasp. The device cascaded into soft dirt and was nearly squashed under steel-toed boots.

“No way are we telling headquarters we haven’t found that damn fox yet, we’ll be here till we die as far as I’m concerned,”

“But I feel like we’re getting burnt out! Aizawa will understand!”

A loud sigh rings out as you press your palm to your forehead, squeezing your eyes shut as an attempt to calm down. “Understand my ass!” Retrieving his phone, you toss it to the boy and he lets out a sigh of relief.

“Let’s just go back to camp, okay? I can sway you with more food, can’t I?”

Your cheek twitches with the urge to smile as your eyes roll, settling on him dramatically. You cross your arms, he wasn’t going to win this battle.

“You think I’m gonna listen to you?”

“No, but I think I’m the more responsible one out of the two of us so I should at least try!”

Your shoulders drop as your jaw opens, a gasp of disbelief coming from your lips. If it had been anyone else, you would’ve screamed about the toxicity in the workplace as you stomped to Toshinori’s office. But in this moment, all you could feel was warmth washing over you. Embarrassment, you were responsible!

“I can be very responsible for your information, write that down in your little notebook!”

Picking up the forgotten net with a harrumph, you stomp your shoe to kick off dirt before walking away. Only two steps ahead, your body quickly turns around adorning the smile of someone who was losing their mind.

“You may be more responsible, but I’m more determined! I’m finding that fucking fox and you can come with me or not!”

You secretly pray he won’t report this, the termination letter left on your desk would be the final straw, your new life beginning by moving countries away and living within a secluded cabin. A strand of hair falls into your face and frustration explodes out of you with ascream. Shaking your hair out before tying it back up, Midoriya’s lips are strawberry and swollen at that point. With the way he’s biting them; they’ll turn into a pretty cherry red soon.

He shakes his head too, clearing the budding laugh in his lungs. He might’ve even looked a bit beautiful had he not been laughing at you.

He was such a nerd.

“Of course I’m coming, what kind of partner would I be if I didn’t? Besides, you need someone to keep you from losing your mind,” he settles his net on his back (firmly strapped in, he would never let you forget that important tip.) You find yourself looking away. Your eyes tug at the wants of your consciousness, desperate to admire the way his forearm flexed when adjusting his belt.

“Did you know this fox is patient and a hard-worker? Looks like you two are total opposites.”

You don’t miss the subtle dig and there’s a bruise to your ego with the way he smirks at you. Retaliation comes easy when your arms swing to capture his head in your net, a proud grin covering up the hearty laugh.

“Whoops! Looks like I caught a total dork in the wild, how’d that happen?”

His voice feels like the sunshine shining on your skin as he shakes his hair out, fluffy with his sweat gleaming under the rays. You only had a few hours left till you were blinded, only able to see his freckles in the shadow of an orange fire. The cool air that would breeze through as the two of you sat in silence, tension soon replacing the chilling wind. You slept in separate tents, professionalism was still a thing.

But you did wonder how it would feel to cuddle up under his arm and stare at the tent ceiling together. Maybe even the sky on a grassy patch in the summer. You envied your daydreams.

Every once in a while, Midoriya’s tracker beeped to remind you of where you are (well, not really, it was so you didn’t die out in the middle of nowhere) which knocks you completely out of your haze. There was no red, white, speckles, or fox anywhere. Anger courses through you at the thought of having to return back to camp empty-handed; your shoes stomping harder into mud. You rub your eyes before taking a deep breath, ready to zero in on the next nearby animal.

“We should probably go back soon, I think I might run out of water unless we find a stream but then…”

Your partner’s voice fades into obscurity when you see it, a flash of white in the corner of your eye. So fast you might have almost missed it if it weren’t for your keen senses. You could practically hear the crunching of leaves as it ran behind a bush.

In that moment it would’ve been much better to yell shhh and come at it with an element of your surprise. Your mind blanks, legs springing into action with a fierce jump. Your vocal chords could only make out one word.

“FOX!”

Both bodies soar through the air, Midoriya following your lead as you crash through the bush. Bramble sticks you in your side and your eyes shut to embrace the impact your elbows, your whole body really, were about to receive. Wind knocks out of you as you grin once you can feel yourself fully settled on the ground.

“I got you, you little…” your eyes open. You blink once, twice, you even squeeze them a bit, “...bastard.”

There is no fox, even the trees have gone silent. The pinecone with white sparkles on it sits perched perfectly on its bottom, it’s mocking you. Surely.

“That’s—”

“I know what it is, Midoriya.”

Shivers run across his skin at your cold throaty voice. Your head plunks into the ground, you lay there for a bit. It hurts so bad, if only the Earth could crack open and swallow you whole. Maybe falling into the Earth’s crust wasn’t so bad, burning to death must be colder than the shame that courses through your veins.

You can practically taste it in your saliva.

How was it possible to have made this...this rookie mistake?

“I want to die, Midoriya.”

He shushes you and lays a warm, large hand between your shoulder blades to comfort you. He winces when the shirt drags across your skin due to the moisture soaked through it.

Gross. He opts for patting your back lightly.

“It’s alright, we all make mistakes.”

“I’m considering quitting the field. How much do accountants make?”

You can hear the smile in his voice, “an actual accountant? Or is that a metaphor for something else?” He’s holding back his laugh, snorts coming out every few seconds.

Your head shoots up to give him an incredulous look, you didn’t even think he knew about that type of stuff. Let alone have the bravery to say it, your mouth opens and closes as you scramble to find something to say.

“You’re a pervert!”

His laugh echoes in your ears again like before, your own sounding out at the absolute ridiculousness of it all. Leaping towards a pinecone and now lying with a mud stain on your pristine white shirt. Things could not have gone any worse with this type of turn around. Maybe this was the good ending.

Midoriya’s hand reaches to his pocket, digging out his tracker and standing from his squat.

“Ready to go eat some nice soup from a can?”

You snort and push yourself up, kicking the pinecone with the remnants of your anger before turning to him, “soup in a can?”

“It’s all we have…” he trails off and fiddles with his tracker, “soup. Soup is all we have…”

“Yeah, you said that. What’s up? Don’t tell me...did Aizawa find out I did that?! Did you leave your radio on?” you reach towards your pocket and pull your radio out, “did I?...”

The incessant beeping you were used to hearing was silent now. When Midoriya sheepishly looks at you, flashing the dark screen of his device you think you might try to find the nearest cliff.

“Oh wow, oh great. That’s just, it broke? Like just now, it decided to fucking break?”

Rapid nods in quick succession.

“Okay. This isn’t a joke or anything right?”

“No. It is broken and you left yours.”

You spend a few minutes screaming with a stick in your mouth at the sky, the makeshift gag effective at silencing you but the rage still swirls like a storm inside you as you pace incessantly. Midoriya sits on a log, trying to radio in or charge the tracker with sun power (“it doesn’t have that capability!”) but it’s a lost cause.

You’re stuck in the forest.

“Fuck! ”

It’s not long before you’ve given up hope. You’re going to die out here to some sort of animal that will eat the meat off your bones like a plate of ribs.

“Midoriya, I feel like we’re walking in circles. I’m also going to starve to death so we should call it quits.”

“I didn’t know you were so weak! I told you we should've gone back earlier, but you’re stubborn!”

He’s mildly irritated, you can tell by the way his jaw clenches while he looks rapidly for a familiar landmark. You feel bad, you didn’t mean to be so rude. He was way more put together than you were, you needed him.

Your eyes search the surroundings, looking for something to possibly cheer him up. “Berries!” Your hand leaves the back of his shirt and you miss his disappointed frown from the disappearance of your warmth.

“We can eat these, maybe there’s hope after all.”

These are poisonous, you learn this within the first few days. If there was one thing Midoriya liked, it was teaching. You were sure if he weren’t here, he’d be helping some little kid realize their dreams of working in the safari.

“Well, aren’t those like-the poisonous ones?! Don’t put anything in your mouth!” He grabs the bush branch and shakes it away from you, the berries falling with little thumps on the ground.

You grin.

“I must be going crazy, we have got to find a way home before I mistake you for a nice piece of broccoli.”

“Shush. Look, remember when I went to pee? I found a water source.”

You blink, a dead look in your face.

“Listen, I may think you’re attractive but I’m not drinking your pee.”

He scrambles for words and shakes his head with wide eyes.

“Attractive?! I was just-there was a stream so I took the time to purify it!”

“Oh! Well, I just thought you were taking a shit.”

“You’re being inappropriate!”

Had someone been listening in, all they would be able to hear were the pleads from a male and the wonderful laugh of his partner.

Midoriya always felt golden light flow through his chest when you were around. The trail you two were on continued downhill, a man-made path making itself known once the two of you kicked astrew leaves away, it was mutually agreed to head downhill as you (possibly) recalled going uphill to get where you were in the first place.

The stars were beginning to rear their pretty heads, speckling in and out of the sky and it left a heavy feeling in your chest. You didn’t want something to happen to either of you, unconsciously clinging to Midoriya harder, you sighed shakily.

“I was joking before, but I'm actually getting a little nervous.”

You admire his freckled jawline, illuminated by the lantern he’d broken out. He gives you a quick side glance, searching for a trick being placed before nodding.

“Me too. I’m really sorry about the tracker, I should’ve charged it!”

A huff escapes you from the way he was so utterly wrong, you were the one mistaking pinecones for foxes and being ridiculous.

“No way! I was the one being immature, I’m sorry about that one. We should’ve gone back like you said.”

His shoulders square a bit more, your frame shrinking in tandem. You two were like two animals, one protecting the other with its teeth bared and stance wide.

“You’re...You’re really the reason I’m here.”

“What?”

A beat of silence passes through the both of you, your lips ruby red from the way you gnawed on them with your anxiety chilling you.

“I just mean, you’re the reason I joined. You were so little, prattling on and on...It inspired me too. I probably wouldn’t have been able to get here if it wasn’t for you.”

He’s a bit shocked, half his face is lit and you can tell he doesn’t know what to say. His mouth opens and he can’t even resist the ear to ear grin making its way to imprint his feature.

“I-I mean...well! I’m glad,” he takes a deep breath, “I have to tell you something.”

Midoriya’s hands clench at his side, dripping with sweat as you look at him with big eyes, eagerly anticipating his anecdote.

You watch as if it’s slow motion, he takes a breath and the ghost of a word escapes him but the sound of a tiny scream beats him to the finish line. You’re sure he said something, but your eyes flit past his shoulder, lower, to stare dead in the eyes of a white speckled fox.

The two of you stare in a locked gaze as it’s tail swishes back and forth. You don’t even breath, blood rushing in your ears.

“You motherfucker.”

“Huh?”

You bound past Midoriya, heels digging so hard into the ground that dirt flies up in a cloud. It was like you nearly disappeared.

“The fox Midoriya, the fox!” you cry, “I need you!”

He wasn’t sure if it was the fact he’d confessed and your selective hearing had kicked in, or the fact that it was his job. He didn’t know what made him feel so happy, maybe it was the part of you saying you needed him.

A phrase so simple that struck him in the heart. His feet dashed behind you, lantern outstretched as he cried for you, “I’m coming!”

It was like life or death, but it wasn’t. Why did everything feel so emotionally charged? Your thighs ached and the threat of collapsing was gaining on you.

It hit you though, jumping from rock to rock, that red tailing practically swishing in your face.

“I like you. More than partners, like! I want us to, you know, date and stuff.”

It was totally jerky and awkward, but the words registered in your mind when the fox darted into its burrow. You pause, careful to not ruin it’s precious home. Midoriya comes barreling beside you, barely even panting while a stitch in your side wrecks your lungs.

“Did you get it?!”

“You like me?”

Midoriya gives you an incredulous look, “you’re asking that after we just ran all the way here?!”

“It has a family.”

He sighs a loud breath and squats, “yeah. It does.”

You stare at the opening and listen to the soft squeaks in the nighttime air.

“I like you too.”

His head snaps up, voice wavering while you two share an interlocked gaze.

“Really?”

A familiar smirk quirks up, “duh. What kind of a girl follows a boy into the same field if she doesn't like him?”

Oh! He supposed it should’ve been more obvious when it was worded like that. You plop down next to him, leaning fully against him.

“We can’t capture her. She is a mother.”

“I’m glad we agree.”

The stars shine the brightest at this moment, you can’t exactly see his freckles the way you could before but you know they’re still there.

“The moon looks beautiful tonight.”

“I’m glad I could share it with you.”

A soft nudge is given to your shoulder, “I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

You snort and let your head hang. Midoriya resists the urge to kiss you right then and there.

“I don’t know, I guess foxes just do it for me.”

A wordless hum reverberates through his chest, shifting to wrap an arm around you. The moment’s sweet.

“So, how are we going to get back home?”

“I have no idea.”

[exquisitley-obsessed]

Fiances, Firebirds, Foxes and Fawns:13

Author: @exquisitley-obsessed

Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn’s attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain’s father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF

Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien

Warnings: NSFW

MY MASTERLIST

THIS FIC’S MASTERLIST

AO3

Chapter Thirteen: Unreliable Heart

I don’t care, I’m not leaving you behind.

Her voice echoed around Lucien’s mind, and though that certainly wasn’t the only thing about yesterday that was haunting him, those words had clung to him the moment they left her mouth.

And whose duty is it to protect you?

No one, to answer her question. Once upon a time, he’d thought it was his mother who was to protect him, and then he had watched year after year as she had destroyed herself doing just that. Eris hadn’t protected him, not really. Lessons and a sword were not enough, and Lucien had learnt not to consider scraps more than their worth. Tamlin…

Tamlin. His oldest friend turned…political acquaintance? Everything had been so good for so long, until Feyre, and whilst it was a terrible thought, perhaps Lucien hadn’t minded the obvious holes in their friendship because, simply, Lucien had had a friend. For the first time in his life, he had someone other than his mother, an uncaring brother or a random lover backing him, willing to fight and kill for him. He’d felt protected in Spring Manor and the years of peaceful, oblivious existence was proof of that.

Sighing, Lucien got up and out of bed. Before the sunset this day he and Elain would be settling in Spring Manor. The idea of bringing his mate into those ruined halls awoke the base mate desires, though those had been singing in his blood ever since the kiss.

God, that kiss.

The rest of yesterday had passed in his room writing letters and tying up loose ends with the mortal men for the following week, they would be missing the next meeting after all. The entire time Lucien’s body had grown more and more taut with frustration, and as he’d moved around his room deep in the night, throwing his clothes into a bag, his mind had been elsewhere, out in the forest by that riverbed. It didn’t take long for him to throw himself in an armchair before the roaring fire only to find that he was uncomfortably and unavoidably aroused.

He’d tried distracting himself with business numbers and thoughts of how to engage productively with Tamlin, but every time he shut his eyes, he just saw her. Heard her sighs. Felt the soft curves of her body pushing against him, the taste of her mouth, her scent as it had turned musky and yet still floral, like dried tea leaves.

When he’d opened his eyes again it was to find that he’d yanked on the drawstring of his pants, pulled them down and had taken himself roughly in his hand and was now lazily stroking himself. Glaring down at his throbbing member Lucien allowed his mind to empty, his entire being zoning in on that point of delicate pleasure as his fingers half-heartedly explored himself. There was a decision being made as he ran his fingers along the underside of his aching cock before gently stroking the head.

After a shiver of pure, physical pleasure, Lucien sighed with tired resignation. This was not going anywhere any time soon, not when her hot touch was still burning on his skin, and leaning back in his armchair Lucien allowed his mind to fill once more with the concept of her. His fingers moved from stroking to gripping as he took a firmer hold of himself, his other hand moving his trousers further down as his head rolled back.

Gritting his teeth Lucien closed his eyes and was once more overwhelmed by the sensation of her. Now moving from everything they had done to everything he wanted to do. The noises he wanted to pull from her, the expressions he wanted to see as pushed into her for the very first time.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that it was her smooth, delicate hand gripping him, and as his thumb brushed over the buds of precum weeping from his head, he pictured placing each droplet on the tip of her pink tongue and watching as she lapped them up eagerly.

With his other hand, he now moved to lift his shirt, his fingers running luxuriously across the tight, lithe muscles of his abdomen which promptly fluttered into rigid tension. Again he imaged her fingers running across his skin, feeling him, getting a scope of his body – the body that was made specifically for her. Gripping himself even tighter his entire body turned taut and quivering, his thighs straining, his ass clenching as his hips abruptly jerked into his awaiting fist.

A breathy curse tore from his lips as the images flooded into his mind in a jumbled, desperate mess. Her thighs spilling out of stockings. The sloping curve of her ass as she bent in front of him. The swell of her stomach as he took her from the side. Hair and tits and teeth scraping down his throat. Her lips on him, around him – licking, tasting, teasing.

Taking her in his chambers for hours, putting ice in her mouth and not letting her cum till it melts. Running his hands along her thighs under the dinner table, his hand on her leg like a permanent accessory. Fucking her hard and fast in that raw, animalistic way the bond craved for – that he craved for too. Making her fucking scream, letting the world know how sinful her pleasured whimpers sounded and then reminding that same world that she was his.

Her body. Her mouth. Her cunt. Warm. Tight. Wet.

Lucien came with a jagged gasp. His entire body coiling in on itself as his hip raised off the chair before he collapsed with a shudder as wave after wave of pleasure tore through him. His orgasm barrelled into him with a raw intensity bestowed only by the bond, causing his entire body to tremble as his cum splattered on the awaiting bare skin of his abdomen.

It seemed to take several moments with his hand still lazily milking himself before Lucien felt his entire body give out, his muscles turning into something liquid and satiated as he collapsed back in the chair. Sitting there, he could only manage to heave several breaths, his entire body feeling damp and warm as a light sheen of sweat coated his skin, making strands of his ruby hair stick to his face. When it came to Elain, everything was so much more intense.

After several heaving breaths, he felt himself begin to soften in his hand and let himself go as he pushed his hair off his face.

Looking down, he glanced at the milky cum splattered across his torso, the pale colour making his skin look even richer in the flickering firelight. An unbidden image of Elain on her knees before him, tracing the pattern of his cum with her tongue flooded into his mind and he let out a distressed groan.

So not entirely satiated then.

Chest still heaving for breath, Lucien pull his shirt from his body and began to lazily clean himself up. Pulling his pants off quickly after, Lucien threw away both offending items of clothing. He would bathe in the morning but for now, for tonight, he would enjoy the satiated feeling of his body, the sponginess of his muscles, the lack of taut hardness between his legs.

With the fire slowly dying Lucien had crawled between the sheets of his bed, pulling them down to his waist so that his bare torso may be kissed by the soft summer’s breeze coming from the window.

He’d slept better than he had in months, perhaps even years, and when he’d woken up it was to find something at ease within him.

Yesterday had happened, he’d kissed Elain and today they were travelling to Spring together where it was just to be them – and Tamlin.

Lucien had bathed hurriedly, not allowing his hands to linger too long on any part of himself. Then he was out and dressing, making sure to throw on an outfit that had come from his days in Spring. He wasn’t going to make much progress if he showed up in Illyrian leathers, again. After checking his bag several times, Lucien took a deep breath and went to find Elain.

She wasn’t in her room. Lucien had knocked and knocked and knocked and, nothing. The knocking was, of course, mostly a formality given that Lucien’s intuition as well as the bond clearly told him that his mate was not behind the door in front of him.

Trying to calm the rising ocean of panic Lucien knocked once more and after no answer, he turned the handle and peeked his head around the door.

Trying to calm the rising ocean of panic Lucien knocked once more and after no answer, he turned the handle and peeked his head around the door.

“Elain?”

Nothing. Not a whisper of life in the barren room. Opening the door wider Lucien could see that her bed was made, and her vanity cleaned out, the room was as he’d always known this guest room to be, spotless and lifeless. The only evidence Elain had ever been her were her bags stacked neatly in the centre of the room.

She was packed and ready which meant that surely she wasn’t too far, though this had been the time and place they’d agreed to meet before they travelled to the border and winnowed. Sighing, Lucien pushed into the room – and was hit by a mans scent.

Freezing mid-step, his entire body going rigid, Lucien inhaled deeply and found none other than Jurian’s scent laced throughout the room, mingling with the scent of his mate.

Something cold and deadly ran the length of his spine as the mating bond pumped a lethal protectiveness into his veins, or perhaps that was simply him. Setting his jaw, Lucien dug his hands into his pockets and surveyed the room, his metal eye whirring and clicking and searching for any evidence of the man who had dared to enter his mate’s room.

Mid-search Lucien heard voices far down the corridor, and it was only a second later that he recognised them as Elain and Jurian’s. The direction they were coming from told him they had just been in his room and were now heading to hers.

Extinguishing the flames coiling around his fingers, Lucien turned to the door.

***

“I just thought you should know,” Elain sighed as Jurian walked her back to her room.

She’d woken up and decided that she just had to tell someone about what she’d seen last night. There was no point ignoring such a pivotal vision given the circumstances. Especially given that her powers seemed to be coming back, whatever that meant.

Lucien had been her go to but when she’d reached for the bond that morning she’d been overwhelmed with such a pure, endless peace that she’d found she could not be the one to disturb it. For the first time, the usual tint of sadness that came from her mate’s end of the bond was nowhere to be found – and that was a magical thing indeed.

With Vassa still transfigured Elain had gone to Jurian’s room, only a few paces down the hall from hers. He’d opened the door with a knife in his hand and a murderous expression. Apparently, he didn’t get many visitors, particularly before 9 o’clock.

“I understand. I’m glad you told me of this.” Elain didn’t need to look at the madman to know he was being sincere.

“I’ll tell Lucien when I see him, perhaps you could tell Vassa too.”

“Yes, I don’t know if she ever was able to see Koschei with her own eyes, but I shall ask if grey arms and white scars ring any bells. Either way, you should hear from me soon.”

Jurian had been surprisingly quiet and contemplative as Elain had spoken of her vision-dream. Nothing she had said was lost on him, he didn’t scoff or brush off anything, he’d simply listened and appeared to be taking mental notes as he did so.

It had surprisingly warmed her heart as she thought back to those early days out of the Cauldron when she’d desperately tried to speak to her Night Court family. In her head, she could still see the rolling eyes of Nesta or the pained pitying expression of her brother-in-law as they both dismissed her pleas for rambling madness.

But before her stood a man who knew what it was to lose yourself, and never give up on the fight back home. That morning, for the first time since turning fae, Elain felt as though she were making a true friend, not just adopting someone else’s.

“Thank you,” she turned and smiled at him, bowing her head slightly.

As she had turned back to her upcoming door she’d nearly stumbled to find Lucien there, his stature filling the doorframe as he leant against it. He was the image of perfect boredom, his arms folded over his chest as he looked lazily around him, but Elain could instantly feel a dark swirling possessiveness radiating from the bond. Reaching for him, Elain was surprised to find that this dark storm of emotions was concentrated into one repeating word.

Mine.

“Lucien!” Jurian called out with an easy smirk, ignoring the very evident gloom swirling around her mate. Walking closer, Elain saw how Lucien’s eyes flickered to her and seemed to stare at her with a hard, concentrated emotion that she could not decipher. Then his eyes were on the madman, and they turned entirely deadly.

“Jurian,” he husked, and a shiver ran the length of Elain’s spine.

“You ready to head to Spring? Bags all packed?” Jurian goaded, bouncing on his feet as he refused to stand still. Lucien didn’t deem Jurian with a retort, he merely looked back to Elain, that same hardness in his eye.

“Yes, I am.” He spoke slowly, dragging the words so that goosebumps prickled across her skin. “I was just coming to check on my mate…only to find her missing…and your scent polluting her chambers.”

Ah.

“Lucien-” Elain began, quickly understanding the misunderstanding that had occurred. But stupid, stupid Jurian got there first.

“Ah yes, I’ve been frequenting her room as of late,” the madman grinned, hands behind his back. Lucien seemed to somehow, impossibly, turn more rigid. “We’ve had plenty of interesting topics we’ve needed to…discuss.” Jurian toyed with the words in his mouth, and the whole situation was not made any better by Elain’s cheeks furiously flushing red.

“No-” Elain interjected.

“No?” Jurian gasped with faux drama. “Don’t lie to the poor man Elain-”

“I’m not-”

“We’ve had plenty of things to discuss-”

“I know-”

“Like what you think of at night-”

“Jurian.”

Lucien watched the exchange with a careful eye, but even Elain noticed that some of the tension easing from his form. The sibling-like bickering seemed to soothe some part of his mind.

“I’ve come in the night to alleviate her worried mind.”

“Jurian-”

“Amongst other things-”

“Jurian!” But the madman was simply grinning stupidly at her mate, the glint in his eye revealing that he knew exactly what he was doing.

“He’s being stupid,” Elain sighed, stepping closer to Lucien who observed her instantly. When she was a few inches away she spoke again, putting a hand on his shoulder. “He’s trying to get a rise out of you, there is nothing between us, we’ve merely been discussing Koschei.”

Lucien seemed to ponder her for a moment. Then he was looking between his mate and the grinning, stupid madman observing them both with a fierce, pensive stare. After several moments of contemplation, it seemed that Lucien had decided the best course of action would be to curl his arm around Elain’s shoulders and pull her protectively against his chest.

“I know buttercup,” Lucien husked, somehow glaring through the grin he gave the madman.

It was an almost animalistic display of possession.

Elain wasn’t used to fae customs, and as her cheek pressed into the thin cotton of her mate’s shirt all she could think was that she and Lucien weren’t ‘allowed’ to touch in front of company – at least according to mortal customs. But Lucien didn’t seem to want to hold Elain for any other purpose than to flaunt her in front of Jurian, and though some part of her mind knew she should dislike being displayed, another part of her – an overwhelming part of her – loved the idea of Lucien brandishing her as his.

“I would’ve thought Jurian smarter, though. Provoking me has never fared well for him.” It was Jurian’s turn to scoff.

“I can take you fox-boy.”

“No. You can’t,” Lucien said with enough ease to show his honesty.

“In a duel, no,” Jurian tilted his head, “But if we were really fighting I wouldn’t play by the rules. I play dirty, Lucien, you know this. Before you’d know what was happening I’d take that pretty mate of yours and slit her throat before you could beg.”

Lucien’s arm tightened viciously around Elain and perhaps subconsciously, she burrowed into him too. Stealing a glance up at her mate, Elain saw such a vicious fire as there appeared to be a thousand deadly promises in that one look. Elain knew she should be frightened, that the sight of a fae with such death in his eye should send her running. But she just found him beautiful.

Just when the tension seemed to reach a breaking point, Lucien tilted his head back and laughed. Somehow, this made him feel more dangerous.

“You’re a funny man, Jurian.”

“It wasn’t a joke,” Jurian sighed, bored.

“I know, and it’s the only one I’ll allow you to make,” one of Lucien’s hands came up to twirl a strand of her hair, “As you should know that if you ever joke of hurting my mate again, I will leave only enough of your corpse that it would be Queen Vassa’s duty to recognise you.”

Elain didn’t fully understand the threat but something bitter settled in Jurian’s coffee-coloured eyes as he surreptitiously shifted his stance, his hands coming to rest in front of his crotch. Though Elain’s focus was very much shot as Lucien’s arm still curled her into him, his hand still burrowed into her hair, combing her curls.

“Enough…” Elain eventually sighed, glaring at the two boys, “Enough peacocking for one morning, okay? Aren’t we expected in Spring?”

Elain’s voice seemed to clear the air as both man and male seemed to shake their heads as though to empty their minds. And just like that, they were back to being friends.

“Yes, we should head to the border as soon as you’re ready, from there we should be set to winnow.” Lucien looked down at her, and to her great pleasure, he didn’t move his arm and seemed entirely at ease with keeping it around her.

Elain nodded before meeting Jurian’s eye.

“I…what Jurian and I were discussing…”

“Yes, buttercup?” Lucien frowned down at her, brushing some of her hair away from her face.

“I had a vision…” Elain began. Lucien turned rigid.

“About Koschei-”

“About Graysen-”

They both spoke at the same time, and in turn, both of them scrunched up their faces, confused. Graysen? Why would she be having a vision about Graysen?

“Oh,” Lucien muttered after a moment, evidentially bewildered.

“We can talk about it when we get to Spring but…yeah, I just thought you should know.”

Lucien continued to assess her, his hand running down the side of her face before he seemed to realise just how close he was holding her. Clearing his throat Lucien grinned down at her before removing his arm and turning back to her room where he walked in and hoisted her bags.

“Right, looks like we’re all set,” Lucien huffed a few seconds later as he re-entered the corridor and proceeded to hold out his mate’s bag. From the shadows, Nuala’s two grey hands reached out and grasped the bag before pulling them into the dark crook and making them disappear.

“Well, we’re off.” Lucien grinned at the madman as he presented his arm to Elain, who took it gladly. Jurian seemed to nod absentmindedly.

“I’ll walk you down.”

He did just that, trailing behind the mated couple as they made their last journey through the home and down the stairs. As they neared the looming wooden door and Lucien passed out a few farewells to the awaiting maids and cooks, Jurian called out once more.

“Lucien!” Elain watched as her mate turned and eyed the madman, his foot already out the door. Jurian seemed to glare at him for a moment before, “It would do you good to remember a certain promise you made to Master Archeron.”

A shiver ran the length of Elain’s spine, and as she looked up at the suddenly hard look on her mate’s face – a bead of inquiry took root.

***

Their journey had been a quick one, Lucien winnowing them most of the way to the border. He’d even stopped several times to encourage Elain to winnow on her own, she’d made it only a few feet forward, but Lucien had looked at her as though she’d invented sliced bread.

The Spring border loomed near when they talked of her powers again.

“Have you been having visions for a while?” Lucien held back a branch so that she could pass under it, birdsong and the early morning sun surrounding them.

“One or two, here and there, but everything went quiet after Hybern.” Lucien hummed, shouldering his pack.

“Do you think something has catalysed it?”

“Maybe,” Elain pondered, “I certainly think I’m shown these things for a reason – none of them have been accidental, they’ve all proved to have a purpose.”

“That worries me,” Lucien hummed, pulling back another branch.

“It does?”

“Koschei showing up in the dreams of my mate isn’t exactly my image of a perfect situation.”

“No…but that vision was strange, it didn’t feel right.”

“No?”

“No, it didn’t feel like an image of the future it felt like it was actually happening, like I was actually talking to Koschei.”

“Well, that’s just…brilliant.” Elain couldn’t help but grin at her mate’s incredulous tone. Their conversation faded to matters of Nesta and her powers, the ones she had given up and they also spoke of the Cauldron and how it had taken to Elain.

Soon enough they neared the edge of dead woods in which there used to be the poisoned magic of The Wall, keeping the mortal and fae realms divided. Now there seemed to be an overwhelming sense of absence, and this darkness had taken its toll as the ground turned dead and crunchy underfoot as all plant life thinned into black and brown dust.

Lucien, of course, only seemed brighter and full of more life in this land of death. Turning he extended his hand with a grin to which Elain presented her arm.

Without a word, Lucien wrapped his fingers around her wrist as he readied himself. However, the minute his fingers were wrapped around her, Elain was thrust back into a recess of her mind.

***

Elain was standing in the Study of the house she’d grown up in, a forbidden place full of adult, mature items. Before her stood her mother, steely in her age and not yet touched by the poisoned hands of illness. She was wearing her hair in a wreath of braids and a navy, modest gown.

“Show me your wrists,” the woman said in a plain, even tone that sent shivers down Elain’s spine.

Elain’s jaw locked awkwardly as she furiously bit her tongue. With more aggression than necessary Elain thrust her right hand and forward, palm facing the ceiling. Her mother looked down at the hand with something akin to watered disgust.

The woman proceeded to wrap her middle finger and thumb around Elain’s wrist, all the while looking at the act analytically. Elain’s skin was pulled taut as her mother desperately tried to make both fingers meet, but there remained roughly an inch of space. The woman sighed heavily, evidently disappointed in her daughter’s lacking, and when her mother brought her hands over her chest, Elain allowed her somewhat abused wrist to fall back by her side. She knew what was coming.

“Elain-”

“I know-”

“Do you?” Oh, she was furious. “Do you have any idea why I do these things? Why I ensure that all my daughters are kept to such a strict standard?”

Elain said nothing.

“Elain.”

“I know, ma’am.”

“Tell me.”

“We are kept to strict standards because we are worthy of it. It is out of your kindness that we have our lessons and are guided into better lives.” The words were mechanical, spoken in a monotone voice, the mantra falling from Elain’s mouth as they had done so a thousand times before.

Elain’s mother appeared to consider her for a second and something within Elain flinched – had she said it wrong? Was this mistake worthy of a beating? What was coming next, why did it scare her so much to not know?

But to Elain’s morbid surprise, her furious mother who stood like she was made of steel sank back against the desk and buried her head in her hands. Elain merely watched, numb and shocked, as her mother showed perhaps the first true emotion Elain had ever seen from her.

It was macabre, to see the woman whom Elain had known to be ruthless and mechanical, break down. It was at that moment that Elain realised that she needed her mother to be that person – the villain in her story – because that was the only justification of the small stone of hate Elain carried in her heart for the woman.

The silence dragged on, the room now feeling impossibly small and stuffy as Elain merely watched her mother tiredly drag her hands down her face as she looked at the floor. Then, quick as a whip, her mother’s eyes met hers and for the first time in a long time, Elain could not read her.

“Elain I…” her mother said tiredly, her arms returning to their defensive position across her chest. One Elain so often did herself. “I raised you to be extraordinary, I need you…to be extraordinary.”

Elain had nothing to say to that. Her mother’s harsh attitude had only worked when it felt as though it had come from a place of aristocratic concern over the family image, the idea her mother was genuinely trying to care for her, in some weird way, was painfully unfathomable.

“This world will crush you, Elain,” she continued, “Because it loves girls like you. It loves girls who are innocent and unprotected. Those are the girls men like to break. When you go to them with a heart already made of steel, there is nothing for them to abuse.”

Elain’s mother tilted her head and began to rub at the spot in which her neck and shoulder connected, the first sign of relaxation or weakness Elain had ever seen of her. Her mother continued.

“Nesta was forged and Nesta, in time, will find her battle armour and will be indestructible. But you…your big heart is not poetic, Elain, not in a world full of so much greed. Your heart is a weakness, it’s a beautiful thing just aching to be exploited. This world will crush you regardless so let me do it first. Let me break you so I can protect you.”

Having now moved on from being blind-sighted by her mother’s display of emotions, Elain felt the gravity of her words sinking in.

“You’re wrong,” was all she said, and not for the first time, she felt like a tiny, little girl begging for her mum’s attention. “I don’t – mother’s don’t need to break their children – I-”

“Elain-” Her mother sighed, standing from the desk and walking to the drinks cabinet.

“No, I know, I know you’re trying to protect me and Feyre and Nesta, but you really don’t have to!” Elain’s mother poured a glass of sherry and knocked it back with surprising ferocity. “Mum I don’t want to marry a prince; I want to marry someone who I love!”

The woman poured herself another glass, shaking her head tiredly. Slowly, she turned around and leaned against the cabinet, and in that move, Elain saw an opening for her argument.

“I don’t care for kingdoms or palaces mother. Nesta’s the one to do that she’s the one to score the future King. But I want to marry for love, even if that man only owns the clothes on his back and a simple hut.”

She knew what she sounded like. Stupid, infatuated, aristocratic with no sense of reality. But Elain had always been a dreamer, cushioned enough by her family’s wealth to never touch the ground. It was only her Mother’s harsh schooling that had stopped her from running away with fairies at night.

“I want to marry for love,” Elain reasserted, though her argument sounded weak to her own ears, “Love is the best thing that can happen to me – not wealth or a Lord and…and you cannot change my mind.”

They stared at each other for a solid moment. Elain’s hands shaking by her sides, her mother staring at her in a way that was slow and steady as she finished her drink and put down her glass.

“It doesn’t matter how much of a hopeless romantic you are, Elain.” Her voice was slighter colder than before. “Regardless, you will be married to a man whether we do this my way or not. It doesn’t matter who you meet nor how much you think you love him, one day you will wake up next to him and hate everything about him. Then, you’ll hate yourself even more for being deluded enough to think he was worthy of your time. You may as well make sure that when that morning comes, and it will, you will be waking in a palace, and not a hut.”

Elain hated how her mother’s words cut into her, the skill she had no doubt passed onto Nesta. Elain couldn’t do that, she merely did not care for intentionally hurting others, she had no interest in diluting her heart or manipulating the emotions of those around her.

She was like her father in that way. She knew nothing other than how to be vulnerable and whilst she could understand her mother’s itch to protect her, Elain truly believed that there was someone out there who would love her completely and entirely – and they would never hurt her.

“You loved someone didn’t you?” Elain finally whispered; she didn’t need to even look at her mother’s reaction to know she had struck gold. “But…it went wrong…and now you assume the same will happen to everyone else…”

They said nothing. Did nothing.

“You’re miserable, mum-” the woman flinched. She wasn’t called ‘mum’. Ever. It was too informal. “-you’re miserable and so you think everyone has to be too because that’s how life is. Right? But what if it's not?”

It was a futile attempt. There had already been too many years of bitterness that had sealed her mother’s heart in a case of ice and there was nothing to penetrate it – not even the pleas of her daughter. A small silence fell in which all that could be heard was the wood snapping, a noise familiar to the one Elain’s arm had made when she fell off that horse – the sound of something breaking.

“I love you, Elain.” The woman breathed, her eyes were firm, but her mouth was folded down slightly at the corners. “More than you can possibly know.”

Elain had nothing to say to that. All she knew was that her mother’s mind was decided, and she had lost the battle.

“You know why?” The woman continued, “Because you’re like me. More than Feyre or Nesta – you’re like me when I was young. If, when I was your age, I had someone like me, guiding myself away from the bad things in life, I could’ve been saved a whole lot of hurt.” Elain shook her head furiously.

“Do you really regret those experiences? Or did you just get hurt and that scared you, and now you can’t open up again?”

“I got hurt. Again, and again, and again. By rich men and poor men, by poets and scientists and men who hunted fae to those who believed they were gods. I didn’t care how much it hurt or the fact I never learnt my lesson, because all of that went away the minute I got the pure rush of realising that someone wanted me.”

Elain flinched.

“That’s what this is about, Elain.” Her mother’s eyes had turned uncomfortably glassy as she told Elain more of herself than she ever had before. “You don’t want to fall in love with a poor man and feel secretly superior in your hut with your clothe-less children. You just want to feel wanted.”

Tears stung behind Elain’s eyes.

“You need it, you depend on the idea that you are beautiful and romantic and the girl that everyone wants. How better to prove that everyone wants you than by having the most perfect, fairy-tale romance? You need to get your head out of the clouds Elain and get back to Earth. There’s nothing about men wanting you that is good. It is a cursed desire and will only lead to your own destruction. They use you, all of them. You will never be enough for them, because nothing is – not even the most perfect, beautiful girl in all the lands. Not even you.”

They were spilling down her cheek now.

“I do not wish to be cruel to you, Elain.” The woman moved back, her typical mask coming back into place, the emotion receding deep into the abyss of her heart. “You have a heart of a gold, it’s a shame that it’s worth nothing in this world.”

Elain felt something within her crumble – the final echo of hope she had had for her mother. While this disintegrated within her, Elain felt herself only cling tighter to her beliefs.

“You’re wrong, mum,” Elain sighed.

Someone to love her wholly, completely, incandescently. Someone who would never hurt her, who would take care of her, who would truly love her and her liability of a heart.

“You have to be.”

***

The memory faded from view and the world came back into focus around her. As her eyes met the russet of Lucien’s she was thrust back into her body and everything that came with it – the bags, the trip, Spring – it all came to the forefront of her mind.

By the way Lucien’s eyes widened slightly as she came back, Elain realised that she had sent the entire vision down the bond. She wasn’t sure how, but she could feel the bond glowing between them, fizzing like a frayed wire, and when Elain brushed against it images of the family’s Study Room and echoes of her mother’s voice flooded her mind.

Lucien had seen it, perhaps the most vulnerable moment Elain had ever had with her mother before she had passed a year later. Elain had only been a child.

Nothing was said as the two seemed to stare at each other for several moments, dumbfounded over what had just happened. They had just shared a vision. Elain had stumbled as her mind pulled back and had grabbed onto the best thing to anchor into this world – it is only now that she realises that she had grabbed onto the bond and as such, connected her and Lucien’s mind.

“I…” She began, a bit breathless, “Do you think I could do that again?” She surprised herself by asking. Lucien considered her question. “I mean…if I could show you the vision I had of Koschei…”

Lucien began to nod, “It’s worth a try but,” his arm came back around her shoulders and Elain realised that she had been swaying on her feet, “Later. Much later. For today let’s just focus on getting to Spring in one piece.”

Elain nodded numbly, feeling a familiar ache of tiredness drag on her muscles. As such she allowed herself to lean further into Lucien’s warmth and strength as the familiar, fleeting sensation of winnowing took over her senses.

Elain knew the instant they were in Spring. The air around her seemed to sparkle into life as she was once more standing on ground sown with the magic of Prythian. The sun seemed brighter here, the sky bluer, the air cleaner. Bird song ran rife, a cacophony of chirping melodies that arose from all around her.

And once she was past the overall sensation of being back in the Fae Realm, Elain was able to take in the Manor they were standing on the steps of.

Spring Manor. The home in which her sister had been stolen to, the home in which her sister had been abused.

And yet, it was Lucien’s home too for a time, and Elain’s thoughts shifted from her sister to her mate as she began to wonder what he saw in these lands that had made him stay for so long.

Shivering slightly, Elain took in the endless ivy growing across the ancient stone. She also took in the large claw marks entrenched in the wooden door – a perfect symbol of this falling court.

“It’s nice isn’t it,” Lucien sighed next to her, seeming to tilt his head back and absorb the sunlight. “To taste the magic again.”

Elain took a deep breath and allowed some of the tension to ease from her shoulders.

“Mhm,” she breathed, “I’d never had guessed I could miss it so much.”

Next to her Lucien opened his mouth, his eye glinting with what was no doubt a snarky retort. But at that moment a figure had appeared behind them both at the base of the stairs, causing the pair to turn around in a haste, Lucien angling himself so that Elain was somewhat behind him, protected from view.

The figure was dressed in simple, ragged clothes. A cream linen shirt that had several holes, and which the drawstrings were not even laced properly. Brown trousers, three-quarter length. Bare-foot. Uncombed hair. Curious, pained eyes – a savage.

“Tamlin,” Lucien muttered in a guarded voice. A savage, and a king.

This was the first look Elain had ever truly had of Tamlin; besides the few glimpses, she had seen during the time of the war. Before her stood a man whom Elain could’ve easily found to be handsome. There was something about his pretty, long blonde hair and perfect green eyes that promised an easy, handsome life.

Of course, his image was somewhat tainted by the obvious signs of neglect to not just himself but his residence, the gardens behind him full of overgrown bushes and dying flowerbeds.

The High Lord looked at Lucien enigmatically before his eyes slowly slid to Elain, semi-concealed behind him. Something flared in those emerald eyes at the sight of her, and Elain realised that she and Feyre were not too unlike in appearance.

Those green eyes stayed locked on her, and Elain refused to look away, though this did not stop her from shifting uncomfortably under his assaulting gaze. Lucien seemed to be hyperaware of Tamlin’s prolonged staring and shifted so that he was at his full height, his arm snaking around Elain’s waist as he pulled her closer to him.

It could have been a sign of possessiveness. Or it quite easily could’ve been Lucien wanting Elain in a certain position should he need to jump into action.

Tamlin’s eyes flickered to Lucien, considering him once more before they returned back to Elain. Looking at Elain as though he could see right through her down to her soul, a corner of the High Lord’s mouth tugged up.

“Welcome, Archeron.”

[vocalyunho]

Why’d you only call me when you’re high?

pairing — San x reader (fem)

genre — angst, smut

word count — 2.8k

warnings — mentions of alcohol, oral, fingering, spanking, choking (not really), explicit unprotected sex.

synopsis — San’s on your doorstep again, high and needy, like every other time. You can’t bring yourself to say no to him though, not when your emotions for him are this strong.

A/N: AM’s “Why’d you only call me when you’re high?” was the inspiration of this.

“are you up?”

San’s text got followed by one more shot that made his throat feel like he’d breathe out fire in the form of bright blue flames. He tried to walk to the bathroom and once he reached it, his already blurry vision got blurrier, as he held himself up by holding on the sink. The clean mirror in front of him, that reflected his -not so good- state, told him it was about time he left but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Not with his mind on how you weren’t there with him, by his side, and he knew, very well, he shouldn’t want you there.

All his calls to you went unanswered and all his texts got overlooked with one single text that said it all “why’d you only call me when you’re high, San?”. He couldn’t bring his mind to logically answer to that, not because he wasn’t sober -even when he was he couldn’t answer to that- but because there was no answer to his liking that could explain that.

Exiting the -God knows what type of- place he was in, all the streets were empty. The dim yellow lighting from the streetlights was the only thing that helped him walk on the sidewalk and not in the middle of the road. His jacket felt heavier than ever, but the cold breeze of the spring night didn’t let him take it off. He walked slowly, his mind going dizzier by the bright lights of the ‘twenty four hours open’ little shops that were there for people who were out for the night, like him.

He walked past one of them and, turning his head to the right, he thought he saw you in there. His eyes widened but after a while, your -almost too real form- vanished proving him that this was just his mind playing tricks at 3:30AM. San shook his head in an attempt to make it see things as they were but as he kept walking, he passed in front of a dark alley in which two dudes were smoking something illegal, probably. His heart skipped two or three beats when he thought he saw you there again. This time though, he wasn’t so naïve. He shook his head harder and when he opened his eyes again, he was sure you weren’t there. His legs continued walking on their own. The sounds of the meager cars passing by him, echoed in his ears making his head throb at the too much noise pollution. He thought he saw you everywhere…

He didn’t have a final destination when he left the bar, he walked and walked but when he reached your neighborhood, he felt like he was finally home.

Your bell rang, echoing in the silent apartment, and you flinched at the unexpected visit at such hour. Your eyes left the tv and, walking to the door, you looked through the peephole before opening it with a heavy heart. And there he was, at your doorstep. Again. His eyes filled with lust and need like every other time but, this time, there was something else there too that you couldn’t figure out. You’re tired, so tired of it, but you can’t bring yourself to refuse to his request…to refuse to him.

“I was so worried”, he said with heavy eyes, his hand against the door frame, holding him up “why didn’t you answer to my calls, I didn’t know if you were okay”

“you need to leave, San”

“let me stay just for the night”

It’s funny how many times you’ve heard that sentence leaving his plump lips and it’s even funnier that you let him stay every time, even though things always end up the same. With you under him and his lips on your hot flesh that feels like it needs him and only him.

…And his lips were on yours in a second, this time too, after the door was shut close. His hands all over your body worshiping the curves sculpted by heaven itself or so he thought. San got rid of his jacket fast, that was now laying on the wooden floor of your small living room and his shoes were here and there as he took them off without glancing at them. He was too busy sucking on your neck, marking it, making it his but at the same time, not his, at all.

Your mind said no, but your heart could only scream yes. You could smell every single drop of alcohol he’s consumed tonight, you could sense every bit of need in his actions and every bit of desire in his breathy moans against your neck, but not a single hint of love.

His body was so close to yours, you could feel every inhale and exhale and he kept coming closer, moving your body backwards until you reached the plum bedroom. He knew your house better than you at this point, but what hurt you the most is that he also knew your body better than you. He’s kissed, marked, licked, explored all of it and you’d lie if you said you didn’t like it. But it hurt.

San reached for the hem of your white t-shirt and only detached his lips from your neck for a second to take it off. Like a starved man, he attacked your lips moaning your name in the process. Before you could think of it, he started unbuttoning his own shirt and once it was completely open, your fingertips moved to his exposed body like they had a mind of their own. You caressed the toned chest and flexed abs up and down the same way your tongue had done millions of times before. He moaned in your mouth and your knees weakened.

Your body was aching both because of need and pain. San always kept coming back to you and the gullible hope in your heart, always thought it was because he wanted you like you wanted him. He needed you like you needed him…with the actual meaning of the word, not just for the animalistic drunk sex you had.

He pushed you on the edge of the bed and slid your pajama pants to your ankles till they were off and thrown somewhere on the floor along with his own. You crawled further up the bed as he got rid of his boxers, like it was the most useless piece of clothing ever. His cock sprung up, red, swollen, needy as always, with pre-cum already leaking from the tip and you knew how this would go but you still stayed there, anticipating for it.

You only needed him to care. You only needed to wake up the next morning and find him next to you on the bed, but it never went like this.

He crawled on top of you and before he could move, you held his wrists tightly. You just wanted to see him for a bit, to know that he was really there, to let him know that this means more than he thinks to you…and he stayed. He stayed staring at you and you felt like this was the first time he’s ever looked in your eyes. You always thought his face was a masterpiece, a painting in a museum where all other works of art would be jealous of the beauty it held. His lips were always red and plump, his nose high and elegant like a Greek god’s and his eyes…these were your favorite. They held the entire sky and all of galaxy’s stars, no matter how corny that sounds.

“I don’t have a condom”, he broke the silence but you expected that from him, he couldn’t keep himself any longer, probably.

“you never do”

“you’re on birth control, right?”

“yeah”

“that’s my baby”

He kissed your temple and you wished he could, for once, mean both the “my” and the kiss.

“you’ll do as I say and you won’t come before a let you?”

“yes”

San was always slightly aggressive when drunk, but especially talkative and very much horny.

He lowered his body until his face was in between your legs and grasping your thighs, he didn’t even dare to take your panties off. The fabric was in between his fingers in a second and when he slid it to the side, he pecked your clit softly. The familiar tingling feeling washed your spine. He ran his tongue along the entirety of your center, collecting some of your silk and once it was down his throat, he pressed his tongue on the bundle of nerves. Your eyes shut close fast and a small moan left your lips, and before you could even get used to his actions, he puckered his lips and sucked hard “o-ohmygod”

You grabbed his hair and your fingers got clumsily tangled in the waves. Your hips backed up asking for more but he only dug his fingers on the soft flesh of your thighs, keeping you down and open for him to do as he wished. The lewd sounds of your silk getting sucked echoed in the silent apartment, driving you crazy and you felt your center burn. San’s eyes were closed until he took one hand away from your thigh to wipe the wetness from your cunt, before pushing two digits in. “holy shit-”

He only moaned at your curse as he synchronized the quick thrusting of his fingers with the lapping of his tongue and you pulled his hair when you felt your climax reaching you “S-San imgonna come”.

“don’t you dare baby”

He took his face away from your cunt and brought it on your level, but the thrusting of his fingers quickened making your eyes roll back and your head pin to the pillow. “let me see that pretty face of yours”, he groaned and pulled your chin down. You couldn’t care less at how he stared you, you only needed to chase after your orgasm even if he told you not to. The sounds from between your legs got squelchier and he bit his bottom lip in an attempt to make his hand keep going. You moaned loudly when your legs started trembling and San pulled his fingers out of you fast.

You whined at the sudden lack of penetration but he straddled you and brought his fingers to your lips, tapping them softly “open up”. You did and he inserted them to the pit, making you gag but as he pulled them slowly backwards you got to taste yourself, moaning both at the taste and the feeling of his fingers in your mouth. San twitched.

“I think you should be a good girl and fall on all fours, mhm?”

He said and took your underwear off as he left your lap. He always loved it doggy and as you held yourself up and turned around, he grabbed your hips bringing them higher than the rest of your body. Your face fell on the mattress and before you could see him from the corner of your eye, a loud smack landed on your ass.

“fuck baby, why so sensitive today?”

The way you backed your hips down made him wonder what changed today. You usually push them higher to earn more but not this time.

“I need you San-”

“you need what?”

“you”

He caressed the reddened flesh before landing another, harder smack on it “you need what?”

“your cock-”

“that’s right”

“inside me, pplease”

He guided himself to your entrance but only nudged it up and down, earning a loud sigh from you.

“San- please”

“I love it when you beg”

“fuck please”

Every pleading felt like music to his ears. He adored it when the walls of your pride fell apart for him, mostly because he knew you weren’t like this in other spectrums of your life. You never begged anyone for anything, but you did beg him because you needed him.

“your pretty begs only get me harder, babygirl”

Your heart clenched at the nickname “please San, let me feel you”

“only because it’s you”

He took his hand off his member and held on your sides as he pushed in slowly, groaning at the tightness around him.

“fuck yes”

It felt more relieving than painful and you sighed loudly at the long-awaited stretch. He went halfway in before drawing his hips back and snapping them forward again. His hands roamed your sides, moving you against his dick slowly and it would feel like lovers making love, if only there was the tiniest hint of love hidden in his actions or words. Sometimes it fooled you, making you feel like there really is something bigger there, something that could grow and even reach the level of love but you were wrong. If love exists in one party, it can never be called proper love…

His thrusts started getting faster and you clutched on the sheets on each side of your body for support. The force of his hips made you bounce against him and every time he drew back and in again, your bodies collided rhythmically.

“shit-”

San’s eyes narrowed as he tried to thrust faster, but he didn’t warn you, and once he bottomed out, a loud cry got mixed with your whimpers. Your knees weakened and you felt like collapsing while San only went faster, shortening his thrusts but hitting deep.

“S-San”

You tried to hold his thigh as your legs spread further without realizing, but he grabbed your knees and brought them up as they should be again. You cried out and pushed your ass up to help him reach deeper but he throbbed and the groan the left him came from deep in his chest.

“d-do you like that?”

“ohmygodd”

He slapped your ass and it hurt more than before but a smile creeped up your lips knowing how you would see his mark on you the next morning, once again. When your hand on his thigh got held, it took you by surprise. Your wrist was in his palm and, in a moment, he brought it up on his lips and kissed it softly contrasting the way his hips treated yours.

“fuck baby, you’re so good”

“San I’m-”

“come for me”, he almost growled and wrapped his hand around your throat to bring you up against his chest. The warmth on your back made you give yourself completely in him. He held you as he wished, he moved you as he wished, he fucked you as he wished…and you could only love it. Your head fell back, on his shoulder and you could see him from a new angle. His jaw was clenched and sweat was already dripping from the side of his face. He looked too good like that.

He saw you staring at him and the exposed flesh of your neck was more than enough to occupy his lips. He kissed on it like when he first came in your apartment tonight, but this time he nibbled and sucked more gently. He wanted to hear all your sounds, to know that he was the one responsible for them. Your eyes rolled on the back of your head when he hit your g-spot and his lips on your neck made it feel like heaven. He twitched and let a deep groan tickle your skin, you felt him trembling…

Cries of his name rolled off your tongue and your walls clenched hard. He held your side tightly with his left hand while the other was still around your throat, holding gently rather than harshly. His thrusts began to slow down and get longer but your mind went dizzier and dizzier. It was like you were drunk on the pain of him not loving you back instead of the bliss he was sending you to. There was no way you could take it anymore, you couldn’t keep bearing this pain, you needed him to be with you on daylight too, not only during the night when he’s drunk and in need of your comfort.

“baby-”

“San…pplease come-”

Your voice was desperate and almost a real cry as your climax got over you and you came around him, trembling and falling forward but he kept you steady. He forced his hips forward, with heavy pants and quivering thighs.

“can I stay afterwards?”, he spoke softly even though he was on the verge too.

“you already are”

“not only till the sun rises”

He kissed your lips and came with a deep groan, painting you like a canvas.

[fablesrose]

Drunk on the Memories

Summary: Eliot gets drunk with an old friend, before he even joined the military, they insist on singing to each other

Word count: 1805

Pairing: Eliot Spencer x Fem!Reader

Square filled: Drunken Confession

Masterlist ~ Bingo Masterlist

Warnings: Talk of war, drinking (obv)

Songs: I Wanna be in the Cavalry by Corb Lund, I Wanna be in the Cavalry Reprise by Corb Lund, Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

A/n: this is for @girl-next-door-writes Make Me Feel Bingo, I did cut out a verse or two on the first too songs to keep it shorter and less graphic but I really enjoyed writing this, so enjoy! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you drunk enough yet?”

I shook my head and knocked back another drink, “Now I am, you?”

Eliot took a large swig of whiskey right from the bottle, “Hand me the guitar.”

I passed it to him with a smile. He grunted and strummed it a couple of times, grumbling that it was out of tune. He started turning the knobs to change the pitch of the strings and my mind drifted to the last time I had heard him sing.

It was years ago, we were both young, broke, and stupid as hell. His one brain cell was telling him to join the military, so that’s what he did. He was being deployed the next morning, so all of our friends and family gathered round a fire, passed the booze around, and insisted on having a swell time. It got to the point where we were drunk enough to do anything, so someone shoved a guitar into Eliot’s hands and told him to put on one last show.

He laughed but started to sing all the same.

“I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war

I wanna good steed under me like my forefathers before

I wanna good mount when the bugle sounds and I hear the cannons' roar

I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war.”

Everybody quieted down to listen to him. It was an upbeat song, but it settled in that he was going to war. And with a voice like his, how could you not listen?

“I wanna horse in the volunteer force that's riding forth at dawn

Please save for me some gallantry that will echo when I'm gone

I beg of you sarge let me lead the charge when the battle lines are drawn

Lemme at least leave a good hoof beat they'll remember loud and long”

Wolf whistles rose from our group as the energy picked back up again. His face was smiling, young, and full of joy.

“I'd not a good foot soldier make, I'd be sour and slow at march

And I'd be sick on a navy ship, and the sea would leave me parched

But I'll be first in line if they'll let me ride, by god, you'll see my starch

Lope back o'er the heath with the laurel wreath underneath that vict'ry arch”

We laughed. He stood and we cheered him on as he danced around the fire and wove through us. I became mesmerized by him as his voice seemed to light up the area as much as the fire, and warmed me the same amount. Before I knew it he was singing the last verse.

“Let 'em play their flutes and stirrup my boots and place them back to front

For I won't be back on the rider-less black (jack) and I'm finished in my hunt

I wanna be in the cavalry if I must go off to war

I wanna be in the cavalry, but I won't ride home no more”

I was pulled out of my trance as the Eliot before me started to sing, similarly drunk, but different in every other way.

“I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war

I wanna good steed under me like my forefathers before

“Courageous at first we took their worst, our positions we held stout

We clung to belief and we hung on the speech from our trusted leaders' mouths

Overwhelming odds and a hopeless cause and our cities overrun

There were them that said we was badly led and God were we outgunned”

When we met earlier he seemed okay, happy even, but with the alcohol came a weariness that only someone who had seen too much could hold. His hands were precise and aged, far from the man I knew that was young and quick, but they still held the same grace with the music.

“I lost count of the worthy mounts that from under me were cut

My favourite mare with her head in the air took the cannons in her gut

In the first two weeks on that bloody creek my brother lost his arm

Was only sixty days till all we prayed was get us home unharmed”

My heart ached as I remembered similar prayers that left my lips, prayers for peace, for safety, for an end of the pain, anyway necessary at points. I could tell that more feeling was in this version of the song then the one I remembered so long ago. That every word that flowed from his mouth was a more of a memory.

“O for the day that we signed our names and the well that we were wished

The men's congrats and the pats on the backs and the ladies that we kissed

The band that played and the grande parade and the patriotic shouts

All faded fast, didn't even last till the uniforms wore out

“We were finally forced to feed on horse and carcass we could scrounge

When the wagons stopped and we'd burnt their crops to charred and barren ground

With morale in doubt and our pride run out no honour did I see

All I seen were a thousand dreams piled dead in front of me

“I wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war

I wanna be in the cavalry, but I won’t ride home no more.”

The apartment echoed the reverberations of the strings. I felt myself sway a little before I grabbed onto the counter with a clap. The alcohol was stirring up some unwelcome feelings in the silence.

“Come on little filly, I believe it’s your turn.”

I chuckled, shaking away the previous emotions, “Fine.”

I grabbed the ukulele that was laid on the floor by the counter.

He laughed, “You still play that thing? What are you gonna sing? Somewhere Over the Rainbow?”

I shook my head, “Yes, as a matter of fact I do still play this thing, and no I won’t be singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

I did think about it. I will admit that, though only to myself. Instead, I chose something that I remembered. Something familiar. Maybe the alcohol had something to do with it.

I strummed the strings, making sure it sounded right before plucking out a tune.

“So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from hell?

Blue skies from pain?

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?”

I felt my eyes water. I kept telling myself I drank too much. It was the alcohol making me emotional, but I knew that was only part of it. It’s been years since I last saw Eliot. We had led different lives, but somehow we still ended up here, more similar than we would have thought.

“Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

Did you exchange

A walk-on part in the war

For a leading role in a cage?”

Eliot’s face was blank, cold. Maybe he was lost in some memories of his own this time. I blinked away the wet eyes and focused back on the strings under my fingertips.

“How I wish, how I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl

Year after year

Running over the same old ground

What have we found?

The same old fears

Wish you were here.”

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut.

“That was real pretty.”

I smiled bitterly, “Why thank you, you aren’t so bad yourself.”

“What made you pick that song?”

I poured myself another drink, “What made you pick yours?”

He paused, not expecting the question.

“Memories.”

I smiled and nodded, “Me too.” I moved to take a sip, when I hesitated and placed it back down, anymore and I would be sick. “You know, I sang that song to myself every time I missed you.”

“So once every couple of years?”

“Everyday sometimes.”

There was a pause between us.

“It almost hurt worse when I saw you afterwards, because I would still sing it. Because you still weren’t here with us, not really. Now here we are, both drunk as hell, both got dirt, probably more on our hands, and I’m singing it to you.”

I touched my face to find the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Now what does that say about me?” I wiped my face and sniffed, trying to compose myself again.

Eliot slid off his stool and stood between my knees,  “It means that you’re still that same girl I left in that small and dusty town.”

I scoffed, “We both know that’s not entirely true.”

His hands came up to my face, “Sure it is, you’re still strong, beautiful, caring, and the best friend I could barely hope for.”

His hands were warm on my jaw, rough, but soothing. I couldn’t help but whisper, “What if I told you I wanted to be more than friends?”

He took a step closer to the point where I could feel his breath on my face. I looked up at him, still a little taller than me even on the stool.

“What if I told you I wanted to kiss you?”

“I’d tell you I feel the same.”

“Me too.”

He dipped his head to my lips. He tasted of the whiskey we’d been drinking, but maybe the taste of my last shot was just lingering on my tongue. His hands drifted to the back of my neck, his fingertips caressing my scalp. I found myself gripping his shoulder and forearm, trying to keep myself anchored. Eliot took another step that pushed my stool backwards. Now my back was against the counter and Eliot’s chest was pressed against mine.

We paused for a moment with our eyes closed and foreheads pressed together.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” I could feel the vibrations in his chest as he spoke, and I let out a sigh.

“Yeah.”

Eliot’s hands softly untangled from my hair and drifted over my shoulders, down my back and traced my waist. He slipped them under my thighs and lifted me up onto the counter, pushing the stool underneath and out of the way. He didn’t make a sound as he wrapped is arms around me, burying his face in my neck.

I ran my hands through his long hair, holding him close. Eventually he left soft kisses on my neck, leading up to my jaw, before leaving one more on my lips.

“You don’t have to sing that song alone anymore, I’m here.”

“Yeah, you are. You rode home. You rode home to me.”

Best Buds: @snarky--starky  @kitkatd7 @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog @kaogasm

[msoogabooga]

The Insufferable Tom Riddle- Part II • (Tom Riddle x Reader)

Warnings: Steamy making out, but no actual smut.

Description: Sequel to Part I

A/N: Second and final part.

Waking up on the morning of the study date is the moment where it all hits you. You were about to spend the entire day with Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle. The boy you swore you would hate till the end of the school year. Never did you expect to be in this position, yet here you are, getting ready for a day of tutoring. A very long day.

You don’t know why you decided to wake up extra early today. Or why you decided to pay a bit more attention to your appearance, but it didn’t matter. You couldn’t think straight with the rush of anxiousness rising up in your stomach. As you spray on a slight amount of perfume, you stare at your reflection in the dorm mirror. What are you getting yourself into?

Slinging your bookbag across your shoulders, you head down the stairs from your dorm and out the door of your common room. As you breeze down the corridors, you notice that it is much too early for the study date. Perhaps you were too eager this morning to get this over with. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to stop by the Great Hall for some coffee. After all, you were quite sluggish this morning and whenever you’re in this state, your patience is very thin. And with a boy like Tom Riddle, patience is key.

A quick coffee run later, you are back on the journey to the library. Though you needed this cup of coffee like you needed to breathe air, you knew that the librarian wouldn’t even let you step foot in the library with it. You sure weren’t in the mood for a scolding so you decide your best bet is chugging it down. Distracted by the coffee and the overwhelming thoughts swirling in your head, you are taken by surprise when you bump into someone. The cup of coffee flies out of your hand and spills directly on this person. Way to go. You sure have done it this time.

Spewing out mumbled apologies, you pick up the now empty coffee cup and turn to face the victim of your morning clumsiness. The cup of coffee doesn’t last two seconds in your hand as you drop it again when you look at an angry Tom Riddle drenched in coffee.

“Oh f- I’m so sorry!” You stammer out. Tom sighs and begins cleaning his ruined blazer jacket. “I didn’t see you- I just- I’m so so sorry!”

“It’s alright.” He says sharply. “It appears someone is eager to start the lesson. You know we aren’t meeting until an hour from now, right?”

“I know I just wanted to get an early start.”

“So you do care about me?” Tom says a bit more smugly now. He removes his blazer and tosses it over his shoulder, revealing a white collared shirt underneath. You avert your gaze to respond to him.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Riddle.” You match his smugness. “I am early to everything. I’m only being nice to you because you’ve already suffered enough this morning.”

“Fair enough. Well if you haven’t anything else to do, perhaps we may start early?”

“Alright then.”

The walk to the library was quiet. You weren’t exactly in the mood to converse with him after the coffee incident. Though he insists all is well, you can’t help but feel a tad bit of embarrassment. Watching him hold his stained blazer jacket in his arms isn’t helping the fact either. As usual on weekends, no one was really in the library today. In fact, looking around, there was only one Ravenclaw student there. And he was passed out on a pile of notes. Clearly not going to be an interruption today. You and Tom manage to find a good quiet spot near the back of the library, blocked off by a giant bookshelf. You begin to set up your station, pulling out your copy of Advanced Potion Making.

He takes your book in his hands and begins flipping through the pages. You pull out a chair and take a seat, waiting for him to address you. Tom finds a good stopping point in the book and lays it out in front of him, just barely out of your viewing range. He slides into a chair directly in front of you.

“Alright,” he starts. “I think we should begin with some term memorization. That is the key to getting through these potions. The more practice you get, the more familiar you are with these.” You nod and he begins reading. “A magical potion that makes the taker successful in all their endeavours is?”

“Felix Felices!” You answer with confidence. You remember Slughorn explaining this potion and it was one of your favorites to learn about. Tom smiles.

“Excellent. A potion that makes the drinker quickly fall into a deep but temporary sleep.”

“Sleeping Draught, duh.” This one was a dead giveaway. It’s in the name.

“Looks like you don’t even need the help, huh? Alright let’s see…” Tom begins flipping the pages again. He stops at a page near the end of the book. You try to peak at the page he lands on but he shifts the book closer to him, raising an eyebrow at you. “The world's strongest Love Potion; does not create real love, just powerful obsession.”

Your mind went blank. Love Potion? You don’t ever remember learning about a Love Potion. Not even a slight comment from Slughorn about any sort of Love Potion. You decide to give in on this one. “I’m not sure about that one.”

“Amortentia Potion.” Tom says, plainly. “I suppose we could look into this one a bit more.” Tom stands up and begins walking to your side of the table.

“When did we learn about that one?” You say, still confused as to what he was talking about.

“Last week.” Tom pulls a chair and sits right next to you, book in hand. “He gave a whole lesson about it on Tuesday. We even made some ourselves.”

“Oh, I wasn’t here on Tuesday.” You now remember that on Tuesday you came down with a terrible cold. You spent the whole day in the hospital wing, it was certainly not a good day for your studies.

“Well I can provide a bit more insight.” Tom puts the book down and clears his throat. “It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them. For example, when I made mine it smelled like new parchment, coffee, and… perfume.” Tom gives you a look which can only be surprised as realization. It takes you only a second to remember you had sprayed on perfume this morning. Could it be… no. It is just a coincidence. Loads of girls wear perfume. Surely you’re not the only one. But coffee? Now that has to be more than a coincidence, right? Tom must’ve noticed your surprised reaction because he clears his throat and continues speaking. “So as you see, it is quite an insightful potion.”

“What would mine smell like?” You ask, already knowing what the answer is.

“Well that is up to you to decide. What scent attracts you?”

You clear your throat to speak. Your entire body is shaking, extremely anxious to speak these next few words. “Well, probably worn out books, firewood, and cologne.” The last word came out of instinct as you notice he had worn cologne today. Tom gives you a slight smile, recognizing the smells.

“Good.” He speaks softly. You dare yourself to look into his dark brown eyes once more. His expression has softened now from his normally overconfident one. Almost unsure what to say next.

“Well I guess we should-” Before you could finish that sentence, Tom takes your chin and guides your lips to his. His soft hands cupping your face, brushing your hair back. It takes you a second to realize what is happening, but when you do, you can’t help but give into him. You close your eyes as he pulls you in closer, hands gripping your waist as he slides the chair next to his. The feeling fills up your stomach and heart with a surreal fluttery feeling. His soft lips taste like mint and his hands gently brush your back. Very calming but confident enough to know what he’s doing. You almost don’t realize you shifted onto his chair until he stops and looks at you. His smile, full and genuine, as he looks at you with beaming eyes.

“Well if you insist.” He says as he grabs you by the waist and lifts you up with him. You let out a small gasp as he places you onto the table.

“Tom this is terribly inappropriate!” You whisper-shout. You glance around at the empty tables and shake your head. “We’re in a library!”

“Don’t worry, dear.” Tom says, chuckling lightly. “We’re completely blocked off by the bookshelves. It’s not like we’re doing anything too bad. Unless…”

“No!” You say in shock as you playfully smack his arm. “How crude!”

There is a slight pause until you and Tom burst into light laughter. He takes your face in his hands again and begins kissing you once more. His lips slowly drift from your own this time, inching their way down your neck. You suck in a breath as he begins pecking your neck in light kisses which slowly turn into small bites. His lips remain on your neck for a while, causing you to enjoy it a bit too much. You push him away and you cover your mouth, completely flustered.

“Too much?” Tom asks in genuine concern.

“No- it’s just that- wow. I need a moment.” You slowly glance away from him as your heart continues beating out of your chest.

“Take all the time you need.” Tom goes to sit next to you on the table.

You clear your throat, calming down a bit from your snogging session.“I just didn’t expect you to like me. You know, in that way?”

“Well of course I like you.” He smiles, brushing your hair back. “I’ve been liking you since our fourth year.”

“Really?” You ask. Tom nods. “Well you certainly don’t have the best way of showing it. With you always arguing with me and our, frankly kind of silly, competition.”

“As you can see, expressing emotions is not my strong suit. But I try my best. I was worried I might scare you away. I’m glad I didn’t, hopefully?”

“Well, clearly. So what now?” Tom rests his chin in his hand in ponder. He leaps from the table and stands up once more.

“Meet me by the Great Hall tomorrow at the same time?” Tom asks. “We can have a proper date then. Coffee and all. Hopefully in a cup and not on me this time.”

“No promises.” You laugh. “But yes, I would love to.”

“Alright then. Though, right now a certain someone still needs to pass her potions exam.” He pokes your nose and you smile. “Luckily I’m here to help.”

“Then stop flirting with me and hurry up and help.”

Tom picks up the Advanced Potion Making book once more and opens it up. “It would be my pleasure.”

[arumin-arureruto]

Honeytea Pt 3

Kyoya X Fem reader, Hikaru x Fem reader, Kyoya Angst, Hikaru slowburn

warnings: none

word count: 1.4k

songs to listen while reading: Your Power by Billie Eilish

(no pictures cuz there wasn't really any imagery this chapter <3)

“Hey my house is just a 5 minute drive from here, we could go there if you wanna talk more in private.”

The statement caught you more off guard than it should have, deep deep down it would be nice talking to Hikaru in a more private setting but you knew you couldn’t.

“Oh” was all that you could get out, you looked down to the floor quickly trying to think of something to say. “I’m sorry It’s just that... I’m a married woman and that would be improper for me to do-”

“Oh no no no I completely understand, I’m sorry that was inappropriate of me to offer.” you could see the heat rushing to his face as he turned a slight crimson shade. There was an awkward silence for a couple seconds, then you decided to speak up.

“There’s a park not too far from here, remember the one we used to go to all the time? it’s probably not as crowded by now since most people are at work so we could talk there” As you said that you could see Hikaru’s face lighten up. “Alright let’s go then”

You both walked to the park in a pleasant silence, a slight summer breeze leaving your legs feeling a little cold. You didn’t realize how much you missed your high school life at Ouran till you got a little taste of it as you hung out with Hikaru, all those memories flooding back hit you out of nowhere.

When you finally got to the park you decided to just sit under a tree since the sun was burning your skin and there were no free benches. You sat down and braced yourself for the inevitable questions that were to come.

“Are you ok? You look like your wind went somewhere else” You didn’t even realize you zoned out a bit, the feeling of nervousness was growing in your stomach and your mouth felt dry. “I’m fine” Hikaru looked at you, tilted his head and smiled “You’re not one to lie y/n, don’t start now”

Wow, he saw right through you. You mumbled out an apology and started picking at the grass thinking of something to say. Before you could say anything Hikaru spoke up. “I’m 99% sure I already know what yesterday was about but I can tell this is a sensitive topic for you so how about instead of just getting straight into it I ask you some questions to ease into it?” To be honest that would be easier, you agreed and prepared yourself for the first question.

“Ok so first things firsts, when you called me yesterday were you crying?”

ok that’s easy

“yeah I was”

“where you hurt mentally, physically or emotionally?”

“emotionally”

“Did you lose someone?” he asked that question with a gentleness in his voice that made you want to cry.

“No, I didn’t lose anyone”

“Ok, were you crying because you were mad or because you were sad?”

“honestly I think it was both” you laughed but more out of nervousness than amusement.

“Were you crying because you were angry at someone?”

“partially yeah”

“were you angry at Kyoya?”

bingo.

“yeah” you could hear your heart pounding.

“So my guess was correct” Hikaru sounded proud of himself for being able to read you so easily.

“What gave it away?” You were genuinely curious. To the world you and Kyoya were the perfect couple, never bickering in public, always all lovey dovey etc.

“How do I explain it, if the problem didn’t involve Kyoya you would’ve gone to him. But since you came to me I assumed he was the problem” he said as a matter of fact.

That was pretty spot on to be honest, Hikaru had always had a talent for reading people.

“Either way, do you wanna talk about what’s going on between you guys?”

You kinda did but you also kinda didn’t in a way. Complaining to another man about your husband wasn’t right even if it was to your best friend of years. But on the other hand talking to someone about everything that has been going on could feel liberating since you’ve been keeping all of it to yourself for a while. Even if you did open up to Hikaru, what exactly would you tell him? That your husband didn’t wanna spend time with you? you weren’t a whiny high schooler anymore-

“Helloooo? earth to y/n? you zoned out again”

Hikaru’s face leaned close to you trying to get your attention, wind blew and you could smell his cologne.

“right right i’m sorry I don’t know what’s going on with me today” this was getting embarrassing.

“This is a sensitive topic so it’s normal if you feel nervous, if you don’t wanna talk about it we don’t have to”

You pondered on the decision for a minute. Maybe Hikaru could tell you if you were being too sensitive or maybe he had some advice, talking to him wouldn’t hurt.

“No it’s fine I wanna talk about it, you have to promise to tell me if i’m being too dramatic ok? because honestly I don’t know if i’m being unreasonable or not”

Hikaru raised his right hand “I promise even though I don’t believe that’s the case”

Ok. You took a deep breath in.

“Truth is, for the past couple months I've been feeling lonely, Kyoya leaves and spends all day working and we don’t really spend any quality time together. I know that the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever but I was hoping I would at least get to interact with my husband” The words came out of your mouth without you being able to control them. This was embarrassing, what if he thought you were being whiny? maybe you were just overreacting.

“I don’t think you’re whiny and I don’t think you’re overreacting ”

You didn’t realize you had been thinking out loud, was Hikaru just trying to not hurt your feelings?

“You don’t have to lie to me, I know Kyoya is a busy man and I should just learn to cope. For Christ’s sake I’m a 23 year old woman not some lovesick school girl, I should know how to control my emotions by now.” The uneasy feeling you had grew in your stomach and you could feel tears starting to form.

Honestly you looked pathetic right now, crying because your husband was busy.

“The feeling of wanting to feel loved doesn’t go away with age, just because you’re an adult now doesn’t mean you deserve to feel lonely.” Hikaru said quietly, his words made you lose your train of thought.

“Huh?”

“The feeling of wanting to feel loved doesn’t go away with age, just because you’re an adult now doesn’t mean you deserve to feel lonely.” This time he spoke more clearly and you could understand what he was saying, but honestly they didn’t help that much.

“Maybe you’re right, but even then what am I supposed to do? I crave Kyoya like he’s a drug and he only gives me enough affection to give me a little taste and that gets me even more hooked” you were starting to sound obsessessive but it’s how you truly felt.

Hikaru went quiet and he seemed like he was trying to piece together a puzzle, after a few seconds his expression turned sour. Oh no, he got fed up with your whining, you should leave.

“This was a bad idea I should leave-”

“Y/n have you ever thought that maybe Kyoya is doing this to have control over you?”

“Excuse me?” no, Kyoya would never do this.

“He knows that he’s your weakness and he uses that to his advantage, like you said he only gives you a little affection to keep you hooked”

“Why would he do that?” kyoya would have nothing to gain by having control over you, it’s not like you were rich or possessed many assets, you went to ouran on a scholarship with haruhi.

“It’s Kyoya we’re talking about, to him he HAS to have control over everything, it’s what makes him feel safe. “

Nothing made sense, true Kyoya was kind of a control freak but he would never want to control you, his own wife right?

“Even if that is true, which I don't think it is, what the hell am I supposed to do?” your voice was starting to get loud.

Hikaru fell backwards and went from sitting to lying on the grass, he took a deep breath and went quiet.

“Ignore him”

“Excuse me?” what the hell was Hikaru talking about

“Ignore Kyoya”

“And good would that do?”

“Honestly? I don’t know, but you could see his reaction and see if his behavior changes”

That was possibly the worst advice you had ever gotten, but you were intrigued.

“That’s a horrible idea. How should I do it?”

A/N

since I spent so many weeks without posting I promise i’ll try to get a the very least one chapter a week out

[inthestars011]

What it’s like falling in love with him 💓💓🥺 *check venus*

Based mostly on personal experience

Aries Venus- falling in

love with him was like always remembering the feeling of his loose red tee shirt even if you just felt the cotton warmth as it grazed your arm lightly as you walked past in the hallway. He’d stare right through you and make your body go cold, or sometimes he’d lightly smirk and you’d feel the burning of a million suns as they rolled and rolled

into the pit of your stomach without mercy. Loving him was like constant tension, an endless dark corridor. Loving him was like heartbreak that you begged for. He would say he just didn’t want you, and leave, disappearing through the trees and wistful breeze. But he would come back forceful and angry everytime he heard that your arm may be wrapped around another man, he’d ask you where you are and he couldn’t handle the thought of your fingers intertwined into other hands. Loving him made you angry and loving him set you free. You realized that the two of you were just not meant to be.

Taurus Venus- Loving him was like forgetting what it once felt like to be touch starved. Some days he’d let his fingers dance lightly on your leg, other days, he’d kiss your neck as you moaned and begged. Either way you knew you were home, you knew you were safe. There’s nowhere you’d rather lay, than under the sun and in his arms. Both sensations brought warmth and love. You’d laugh as he seemed to make your parents fall in love with him even more than you, he was so scared to lose you. He would cook for you, feed you hot soup when you were sick. sometimes, you’d disagree on things and he’d be kind of a dick. You will miss the golden summers in his eyes, the loyalty in his fingertips. You will miss the sun as it rested in the peaceful sky, the sweet honey in which you’d dip your feet in gently.

Gemini Venus- Falling in love with him was like laughing about the crude joke he made whilst being entranced with his sly smile as he wrapped his mouth around a beer bottle. You wanted him to savour you in his mouth and drink you like he did that Miller lite. He loved to make memories with you, even if memories is all that they are. A faint recall of true love, a remembrance of his smile. Butterfly’s are beautiful but are almost always gone by Sunday morning, he always brought a rude awakening without realizing. You will remember the fresh grass as it tickled your backs and not the sound of your heart as it cracked, you will remember staring at the stars and wanting to bathe in galaxies above, and while you looked up at those stars all he did was stare at you, and you’ll remember how the staring was slightly intrusive but nonetheless mischievous, innocent and cute. He was in awe. You will remember the nervous smiles, the cold bathroom tiles, the time worthwhile. You won’t remember your heart breaking.

Cancer Venus - Falling for him was like finally being cared for. You were an abandoned child left on a door step and he took you in and cradled you tight, he loved you even as you tried to fight, he loved you even when it didn’t feel quite right, he loved you through your darkness, through your stressful nights. As soon as his soft little heart decided you were family, he’d never ever leave your side and you’ll feel his wrath if you dare try. You were sick and broken and he held you, god, he was the only one who held you. He’d be moody and jealous and influence the entire mood of a room, he sometimes made you feel sad and wanting to find somewhere else to hide, crawl back up inside your mamas womb. He always made you comfortable, wrapped you up in a blanket full of love and he would show you there is warmth in not only the sun but also the moon and the stars. With him you didn’t feel unloved, no, love was always all around you and you didn’t have to search very far.

Leo Venus- A love with him was not a love that felt detached, no, you were the centre of his universe and that you were sure. He’d come home and tell you stories, some that made you laugh, some that made you cry. But they captivated you. God, he always captivated you. He was your gleaming star and you were his night, you were just perfect together, the shoe fit just right. He would get jealous, grabbing you and kissing you in front of everyone, you’d say “what the hell?” he’d chuckle and say “I wanted to claim what’s mine”. maybe that was too possessive and annoying or maybe you began to fall in love with it just as you did with his touch that gleamed and burned. people said when they heard you both giggle, the sound resembled two lovers as they intertwined, people would let out an “aww” as you two danced goofily in the living room after a few too many glasses of wine. He gave your heart exotic life under party lights and he let you win everytime at beer pong just because he wanted to please you. It took him a while to really reveal but one day he glanced at you and said “I really need you”.

Virgo Venus- falling for him was like finally being important. He worshipped you in a way that was quiet and soft. He criticized himself he never felt he was enough. He was always on his knees calling you an goddess as you sipped your fresh mint tea. You laughed and you said “I’m nothing of the sorts” he grabbed your face and told you, “ you absolutely are”. He helped you learned to love yourself and taught you so many things you never knew, theres so many things about the world and you really had no clue. He’d fix his hair and never know where to put his hands and you’d laugh and put them on your body and softly say “if you’re not sure where to put your hands; this is where I think they’ll stay”. He‘d shake with a nervous tremble and giggled with excitement. He picked the lint of your sweater and ran his fingers through your hair, he had an angelic type beauty, skin pure and fair. He would get grumpy when he was tired and sometimes it felt like he didn’t care, but he always gave his heart to you, he was always willing to share.

Libra Venus- He loved with a heart that was open and naive, a heart recklessly worn upon his sweater sleeve. He was so kind and soft he was almost unreal to you, he had hair like golden waves and a smile soft and true, he was delicious like candy, a body that was like a meal to you. And he was always read to be devoured as long as he could devour you too. There was red wine, roses on the bed, and fancy dates just for you two, the romance completely swept you away and never failed to enthral you. He was the prince and you were the princess and you giggled because you never knew that in a couple years would be living out a cheesy Taylor swift song in real life but here you were. Kissing the boy of your dreams, drinking champagne, and making love on the satin sheets. “Here we are baby, it’s just you and me.” He softly whispered in your ear, there’s no other words you’d rather hear.

Scorpio Venus- He loved you because you had a deepness about you, you had a sad soul and it struck him the right way. He never fucked with chit chat, no, he had a soul that yearned for more. He was destructively emotional, a mind that was at constant war. He wanted to change but only when he was with you, he could finally see good parts of himself, that he’d never seen before as you kissed along his scars and broken heart. He hated how much he loved you. some days he’d disappear and you wouldn’t hear from him, other days he couldn’t keep his hands off of you as he caressed along your body and wiped away your tears. He’d punch the wall and you hugged your knees, you’d scream as he crawled on the floor and cried, feeling weak. He taught you that love is something to fear. Love isn’t always clear. True love isn’t always comfortable and you felt that as his presence grew near.

Sagittarius Venus- He had eyes, full of lust honesty and fire. Two broken souls looking to move on, Bonnie and Clyde, forever on the run. Who said romance couldn’t be fun? He’d grab your bum and kiss you quick, soon the flame would burn out of the candle wick. He left you crawling for more, ugly, needy on the bathroom floor. You still recall the 3 am calls when you two felt like riding into the night and seeing where the stars take you, you touched the sky with your fingers tip, and then touched eachother and found meaning in the universe. Love can be true even when it is fleeting, a quick and passionate love can be just as defeating. Before you know it, he’s on a train, and you’re wondering why he ever went away. He’ll explain that his gods told him to go where he feels free and he can rest his head because down there he is authentic and true, and that he loves you so, but that place isn’t with you.

Capricorn Venus- He wants the poster image girl, someone sensitive and sweet to balance out his cold exterior. You were the only one who could make him feel truly warm. Before he knew it, he was in love. Perhaps it happened with a little playful nudge or a giggle in the wind. You were perfect for him, a match made in heaven, he was the wish you had been waiting for, your 11:11. He’d be quiet about it but as soon as he felt comfortable he told you about his dreams of picket white fences, lawn parties and kids learning how to play baseball in the yard. He told you he saw your face, Ivory and soft, blurry and faint in every one of those dreams. He worked till his hands hurt and you’d massage them at home, he had a serious look, stern to the bone. You’d kiss him and add the perfect softness to his life, it wasn’t long till he asked you “will you be my wife?”

Aquarius Venus- He wouldn’t dare say the word love, and he covered his ears as soon as the thought struck your mind and the word touched your tongue. Because you were only his best friend, a best friend that wore his stylish blue sweaters and he said you made them look better. You were just a best friend he couldn’t stop thinking about, a best friend that had a mouth he loved to taste, a best friend that he’s seen in only her lace. And you’d say “that doesn’t seem like a best friend to me” but all he’d do is laugh and disagree. Hed say “who’s to say what’s love and what’s lust, what is and what isn’t meant to be.” It hurt you because sometimes he was cold and almost alien like, but he was electric to the touch, he was neon lights and an addicting drug, so this so called “best friend” wasn’t someone you would give up.

Pisces Venus- once you are in love you saw him turn automatically soft, suddenly his hands melted into icecream and you couldn’t help but be addicted to how it was so sweet. He would tell you reminders of his love everyday, it was way of begging you to stay. He would tell you how sometimes you remind him of the flowers in may, or this really heart wrenching song he heard the other day. You would feel special and loved, like you two were angels or specks of stardust continuously falling. His love for you pours out like a waterfall and all you want to do is lay underneath and choke on it and let it drown you in the most hauntingly beautiful way. He is your saviour, your soft reminder of sunny days. He is what you never knew you needed when you always felt defeated, he was a wonderful sparkling surprise, he was more of a god than simply a guy.

[leapyearkisses]

Carriage Shenanigans - (m/m) Eliseo/Padgett

I FORGOT ONE

MESS (like seriously, it’s GROSS) and sneezing on very willing participant, NSFW, semi-public - They fuck in a carriage.

No promises, but I might write another story with Eliseo sick since I know a few people have wanted that.

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The countryside south of Harwichport was coloring with the first blush of summer.  Horses and cattle grazed in pastures alongside the road. Plants had unfurled from their sheltering against the frost and now reached curiously through fences toward the sun.  Early flowers waved in a breeze that had not quite shed the spring cold.  Eliseo glanced away from the carriage window to the seat across from him.  His lover, Padgett, was leaning against the wall, head pillowed against a rolled jacket.  He also hadn’t quite shed his spring cold, and he’d been snoring gently since falling asleep an hour ago.

He seemed  to wake now. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked back at Eliseo.  In the dim light of the carriage, his eyes were a soft forest green.  He smiled.  “Hey,” he murmured.  “Bored?”

Eliseo put aside his novel after slipping a silk ribbon into place as a bookmark.  “Maybe a little.  The farms all look alike out in this part of the county.”  Picturesque stone cottages with wooden additions for growing families, red barns that needed a summer coat of paint, fields tilled for wheat or oats, scarecrows in plaid.  “Bellecourt should be turned out when we get there tomorrow, though.  Father sent Grimsley and the other servants ahead.”

“Will you have to work?”

Eliseo sighed with an edge of frustration.  “Maybe.  Marcello is having his prospective wife around at the beginning of the season.  He’s asked for me to get the place into shape for entertaining her family.  He’s far too busy to do it himself, of course.  Playing with his new cutter down on the Niamh.  I think he means to race it.”  He leaned his cheek on his palm.  “The sketch he sent me made it look like a potato with sails, but I expect it’s prettier in person.”

Padgett sniffed.  “Not very responsible of him.”  His voice was a bit thick with congestion, but his tone was good-natured.  Eliseo tried not to stare at Padgett’s red nose, but he wasn’t sure whether he was successful.  

“Not particularly.  But that’s Marcello for you.”

Padgett sat up and laid his jacket on the seat beside him.  “What happens if you can’t make those preparations?”  He paused for a moment, then pulled a handkerchief from his pocket.  “Anythih- hh– anything bad?  Hahktsch!”

“Huh?”  Eliseo licked his lips.  “Ah, he’d probably have to come down a few days earlier…”

Padgett sneezed again, a wet sound not well muffled by the cloth.  “Haptschiu!”  Without blowing his nose, he said, “You couldn’t work if you were sick. I wouldn’t let you.”

A thrill went through Eliseo from his heart to his groin, but he started to shake his head.  “Padgett.”

“Come here, Eli.”  Padgett held out a hand, putting the handkerchief to the side. “You’re hardly ever sick.  You might not even catch it.”  He smiled slyly.  “And you’ve been so good to me the past few days.  You must have been struggling.”

“For the love of God.”  Eliseo could feel himself blushing scarlet… and his trousers felt awfully tight all of a sudden.  “You are a scoundrel and a menace.”  He lowered his voice.  “What exactly do you mean to do in a carriage, Padgett?”  

“Whatever you’ll let me,” Padgett replied, matching his volume to Eliseo’s.  It came out sultry, heightened by the roughness of his voice.  Still, seeing that Eliseo was making no move to get up, Padgett braced a hand on the gently swaying carriage wall and inserted himself onto the bench seat beside his lover.  Eliseo made a token protest, but that was all.  When Padgett took his hands and laced their fingers, Eliseo found himself mute, gaze fixed on the wetness gathered at Padgett’s nostrils.

“We have to be quiet,” he said, finally, just to say something.

Indulgent, Padgett nodded.  “Of course, my Lord; quiet as church mice.  Now, will you kiss me?”

Their mouths met in a bloom of heat.  Padgett pressed their tongues together, treasured Eliseo’s lips, nipped until Eliseo deepened the kiss.  Between breaths, he chased Padgett’s mouth with his own, caught up, until he was practically in Padgett’s lap.  Padgett ran his hands down Eliseo’s back, reassuring, encouraging, until he could slip them up under the edge of Eliseo’s waistcoat and worry his shirttails from his waistband like an excited dog with an errant pillow.

Eliseo laid a hand alongside Padgett’s jaw, slipped his fingers into the unruly curls at Padgett’s nape, and kissed his nose.  He wasn’t shy; he drew his tongue over Padgett’s septum, tasted salt, pressed his lips to gently crush a nostril closed.  He shut his eyes in pleasure.  When Padgett’s breath hitched moments later, Eliseo drew back, flushed and loose, resting his thumb at the corner of Padgett’s lips.  “I want you to sneeze on me,” he said, almost inaudible over the carriage wheels but straightforward and plainly desirous.

Padgett smiled.  Eliseo was ever beautiful to him, but no more so than when he was free with himself.  “Hh- hh- I will, Eli.  Your neck?”  He could feel his nostrils flaring and knew his nose was running by the slick feeling on his lip and Eliseo’s soft moan both.  

“No,” Eliseo said.  He tilted his face and kissed Padgett again.  He didn’t move far after.

Padgett let his eyes slip closed and gave over to the itch in his nose.  It was deep-seated, caught in his sinuses, radiating outward in scratchy hints of irritation.  He had been at its mercy all of the previous day, so much so that Eliseo had postponed their trip, although probably equally for his own peace of mind as Padgett’s health.  He had no reservations now, waiting for Padgett to give in, face upturned.

“Hh- hah- hahktschiu!”  Padgett ducked forward, overcome in a rush.  Mess ran down over his chin; its evacuation filled him with a momentary ease, a relief from the thick prison of congestion.  Eliseo moaned and pressed closer.  His face was lightly dusted with droplets and now his mouth was on Padgett’s again.  Sighing into the kiss, skin heated, Eliseo had given up any pretense of reluctance.  He rocked his hips, rubbed his clothed erection against Padgett’s thigh.  His tongue darted out again and he started to lave Padgett’s lip and streaming nose.

Padgett groaned and moved to undo Eliseo’s fly before his smallclothes became a casualty.  He remembered the first time they did this and how shy Eliseo had been then, although he’d had even less control over his body’s actions.  “I love you so much,” Padgett said, trading kisses, letting Eliseo have him.  “You’ll make me hih- make me sn- nnh– sneeze again, love.”

“Ah, please,” Eliseo moaned, and he pressed his cock into Padgett’s palm, overeager.  “You ruinous-  you ruin me.”

“Hh-hold still, easy,” Padgett murmured, nuzzling against Eliseo’s chin, then his cheek.  The itch had come back and he trembled with it, chest working fitfully.  “Hh- hah- hhih-”  He drew back again, felt Eliseo tense in his lap.  “Hakschtcht!  Huh- huhktschiuh!”  Again, the relief, a hot tension through his abdomen. He felt Eliseo’s thighs close around his own, felt Eliseo’s cock throb in his palm.  He closed his fingers around it, started to stroke.  He was almost overwhelmed with an urge to take down Eliseo’s trousers and bury himself between those thighs but- but the carriage bumped over a rut in the road and he was shaken unfortunately back to the reality of where they were.

It didn’t seem to bother Eliseo anymore.  He rocked into the circle of Padgett’s fingers, his own precome serving to slick the way, raining kisses over Padgett’s face. “When we get to the hotel,” he said, half-gasping, “ I want you to sneeze on my cock.”  He moaned.  “Fuck, fuck-”

“God, Eli, I will,” Padgett groaned.  He increased his pace.  “Come for me, baby, come on.”  

It didn’t take long.  Never a special fan of sport, Eliseo was nonetheless more than fit for his lover.  He keened with his release, tucking his face into Padgett’s shoulder to muffle his voice.  Whether from temporary deafness or inviolable decorum, the coachman kept on without an inquiry.  Padgett enfolded Eliseo into a tight embrace and rocked him gently through his orgasm, his own erection trapped in his breeches still. He had no trouble encouraging Eliseo to see to it when the latter had calmed.

They arrived at the hotel by 7 PM.  The coachman opened the door to find both of his patrons looking as put-together as they had when they left.  If they blushed slightly to see him, he ignored that.  He was, and always would be, a consummate professional.