#task: 60
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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DM if unowned
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♥
#elvis presley#60s elvis#70s elvis#damn... that'd be such an impossible task to pick one#army elvis and 70s elvis look so... irresistible#elvis#elvis the king
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weighing the pros/cons of listing a job that i intend to quit after ~2 months on my resume because it would allow me to list incredibly difficult senior responsibilities that would elevate my resume from like a solid B to an A but idk how many employers just write you off if you have experience that short in your most recent job. anyway i hate you resumes i hate you indeed i hate you linkedin i hate you soulless HR reps i hate you rejection emails i hate you 5-step interview processes ending in ghosting
#quitting bc the workplace is straight up abusive and they are piling ~60 hours of tasks on me in my 40 hour work week#and allowing me only 2 hours of overtime per week to ‘maintain a healthy work-life balance’ i.e. to make me work unpaid weekends#but im moving soon and have some personal matters to attend to that would adequately explain the short duration to employers#i also dislike the idea that they could torture me for 2 months and then weaken my future prospects by forcing me to list a gap in work#so idk. im just thinking out loud
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how. do people have time. to do anything
#screaming and crying i cant keep working 60 hours a week like this#i swear by the time i do the bare minimum of tasks its my bedtime
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my attention span is so fucked these days lol i can't drive unless i'm listening to not just music, and not just music that i can sing along to, but music that i can improvise harmonies to, because otherwise i get so bored that i can't focus on the road 🫡🫡🫡
#driving is horrible the lives of many shouldn't depend upon my ability to focus on an easy monotonous task for 10-60 minutes#i can do it but it just doesn't seem like a smart way to set up society's infrastructure#silverstarschat
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fellow lurker here that is very excited to see you playing LaDS 🤤 is sylus your flavor of the month or do any of the other LaD boys have your heart?
I see tons of people talking about how they feel like they're being unfaithful to their previous LI's following Sylus' release and all I have to say is THANK GOD I only downloaded the game for him because Rafayel would have captured my soul without Sylus there to grab it first LMAO
I do love them both though, Sylus is #1 in my heart but Rafayel's brattiness and neediness is endearing
#asks#plus like ??? a sea god ????? the fantasy lover in me couldn't overlook him for long#that being said I've spent so much money on this game all for Sylus#I have all his five star cards and like 3 of them are already level 60#I wake up and I login and I do my daily tasks and then I write about him while I wait for the next day#the infatuation is BAD I haven't had a hyperfixation like this in over a year#love and deepspace#lads
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i called the ssa office to ask something and in the pre-recorded message they say, like it’s not fucking Insane, “if you’re calling with regards to a disability claim, due to a staffing shortage, current processing times for disability claims are between 250 and 300 days, after which it will take three to four weeks for you to receive your decision by mail” as though that’s just something that happens whoopsie sorry about that like die actually. how do these people sleep at night
#*#the welfare system has so many fucking hoops people have to jump through#for No reason#if you actually believe the majority of people on welfare don’t ~need to be#frankly if someone’s willing to go through all this bullshit to get a $200 unemployment check a week#they deserve it. like they make this shit stupid hard#when i informed the medicaid dept i had been put on leave from work#they requested - no exaggeration - Eight separate pieces of documentation#four of them needed to be signed and dated by people who weren’t me#one i didn’t have access to bc it was sent to my work email#which my workplace restricted my access to#and if i succeeded i would have gotten at most 60% of my average weekly paycheck#all of that bullshit. to - Maybe - get a minuscule amount of money#like. this system Exclusively oppresses people who are Already struggling#when you’re going through smth as hard as potentially losing a job#and then in order to have any sense of security at All#you have to do several difficult stressful tasks#in order to make sure you can Survive#life for ppl on welfare is already garbage i hate that these vultures make it even Harder
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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congee is so good. really hit it out of the park with that one.
#went to bed with a migraine and woke up with it and barely slept and body hurts and depresso and got a bunch of tasks to do#so stayed home cause is... about 100$ really worth 8 hours of doing fuck all#not really#especially not when ive got 3 people interested in coms and thats already... 60$. that i get immediately for cat.
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it would be silly to completely lose my shit when i have only 4.5 days left at this job. that being said i am within inches of completely losing my shit
#text tag#I CANT BEND SPACE AND TIME TO COMPLETE THIS MANY TASKS IN 40 (LET’S BE REAL 50 TO 60) HOURS#seriously insane of me to continue to enmesh myself here by taking freelance work but i need the money and my other plans for earning extra#haven’t worked out. sooooooo
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etho suffers for our joy
#life series#poor etho#he got the WORST TASK#how is that on the same difficulty level as get scar to talk about star wars for 60 seconds!#although i suppose tango also did have to suffer#ethoslab#secret life
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work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha
#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF#im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries#and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future#IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN#i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and#finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes#and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades#isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade#it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that#dictate every single fucking part of my life#and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb#ra and stats and calculus and cs#haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates#i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table#yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first#god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive#all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is#i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again#haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future#i hope i can still have time for hobbies#why si everyone at school so good at everything#ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent#i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states#my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day#how do i become like them#why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence#i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore
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i would say it's frustrating that my boss loves to waste my time but if she wants to pay me to sit around while she goes to get coffee then. like. alright idm. i got friends in my phone i can hang out with
#60% of my job is me standing arounr the store like this 🧍 waiting for her to give me a task#shut up dee
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oh enedwaith tasks! love that actually
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Well I just made a fool of myself by not knowing how to insert a cassette
To my defense it's a DAT cassette and they're inserted the opposite way than normal home cassettes.
#archiving adventures#foxy speaks#since I'm usually at work reakly early to have peace and quiet i got the important extra task#we're currently digitizing cassette recordings of speeches in the parliament feom the 60
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