#i swear by the time i do the bare minimum of tasks its my bedtime

[evilsexy]

how. do people have time. to do anything

[vex-bittys]

Bittybones Chapter 8: Organics and Botanicals (part 2)

The train was already off the rails, but trying to settle the new bittybones into their new rooms in the bitty house steered that derailed train into an alternate dimension where rails didn't even exist. 

My well laid plans crumbled the moment I placed Softbones down in his room. Corvus the Kara bitty quickly swooped into the same room, swept all of the available blankets into a nest-like pile on top of little Softy, and sat on him. Softy giggled and fell asleep, his tiny adorable snores filling his room. Corvus kooed in contentment, apparently satisfied with the safety and warmth of his adopted "egg."

Yanberry clearly adored his room, running immediately to the spacious (for a bitty) closet. Yanberry also praised the bitty-sized fashion posters I'd made for him using an unnecessary amount of profanity. Since bittys don't have money, a swear jar wouldn't work, so I settled for a stern reminder to keep the swearing to a minimum before placing Buttons in Yanberry's room. As I hoped, they quickly began discussing the posters, pointing out colors and styles they preferred and whispering excitedly about cute outfit ideas. 

With four out of my seven bitty boys enjoying their new rooms, I turned my attention to my trio of troublemakers. As I suspected, Red and Brassyberry had cornered an unimpressed Phantom for some attempted intimidation. I cleared my throat, and the little jelly beans (i am what i eat) jumped. Not that they bothered to look embarrassed (we weren't) at being caught posturing. The posturing didn't work as well as they hoped either because of Phantom's superior height.

(size ain't everything!)

I reminded Red that he had an entire bitty house of his own which calmed him a bit. I pointed out to Brassberry that as appointed alpha of the new bittys, he got to occupy the master suite of the main bitty house. The title appeased him since his bitty type thrives in a leadership role, but he and Red still grumbled and glared at the very concept of Phantom's presence in what they considered to be their home (and near our momma!).

When bedtime rolled around, it presented its own exasperating problems which also somehow managed to revolve around Red, Brassy, and their dislike of Phantom. 

Bathing seven bittybones is quite a feat, especially when so many of them demand special attention that they don't actually need. 

(i do need it!) 

I got Buttons and Yanberry set up in a nice bubble bath on the shelf next to the sink, and they dutifully washed themselves with only an acceptable amount of water being sloshed out of their bitty bathtub while they played. Corvus splashed around in a shallow bath on one side of the bathroom vanity counter, fluffing his feathers and wiggling to throw water over himself like a bird in a birdbath. He insisted on grooming Softy who dozed off while the winged bitty scrubbed him. 

That just left Red, Brassy, and Phantom…

It sure would be nice to possess a bitty with even an iota of shame (would it though?). By the time my cooperative bittys were sudsing it up in their own individual baths, my remaining bittys had discarded every article of their clothing across the bathroom like some sort of laundromat explosion and were having a very inappropriate competition (I won)(i won).

Yanberry got an eyeful before I could block the bitty-penis (nothin' bitty about my penis!) parade and decided to join in. Corvus hopped out of his bath in a rush to cover Buttons' eyes, unintentionally exposing his bare bones as well and leaving a sleeping Softy to flop face down in the thankfully shallow bath water. I fished Softy out of the water, also devoid of clothing. My bathroom had become a bittybones nudist colony in record time.

(you're welcome)

I noticed my Kara bitty's eagerness to care for others right away and assigned him the task of drying and dressing Yanberry, Buttons, and his improvised egg. Corvus corralled his fellow bittys with ease, kooing softly and using a firm but gentle tone to keep the three on track. Softbones rolled around on the towel briefly then went back to sleep, so Corvus enlisted the other two to help get pajamas on him.

I leveled a stern glare at the remaining bittys. They stared back innocently (Brassberry), proudly (Red), and sheepishly (Phantom). I delivered my verdict in a no-nonsense tone.

"If you three can't behave at bathtime, then you don't get to have the same luxuries as well-behaved bittys. No bubbles. No toys. No special attention."

Each of the boys got a dunking, a rough scrub with the textured finger brush, and a vigorous towel dry before having their pajamas tugged onto them. Somehow Red still managed to douse me with a sinkful of soapy water, so I only gave Brassy a quick bandage change then gathered everyone up for bedtime, closing the door on the mess in the bathroom to be ignored until tomorrow. 

In a continuation of the bathtime punishment, Red, Brassy, and Phantom were relegated to their rooms instead of being allowed on the bed (boo)(Cruel and unusual punishment). Yanberry happily snuggled down in his comfy bed, and Buttons opted to join Corvus' giant nest pile with Softy. Corvus welcomed him with a happy koo as I switched off the lights and crawled into my own bed.

I tossed and turned throughout the night and barely slept thanks to my restlessness. I eventually woke up to a pouting Brassberry, an apologetic Phantom, and every single item from Red's bitty house strewn across the floor. Not much furniture survived Red's wrath (i'm thorough), but Barfington Bear escaped unscathed as usual. He's a trooper.

After surveying the damage created by my one-bitty wrecking crew, I moved over to the main bitty house. I'd already seen Brassy and Phantom awake and shuffling around, but I hadn't heard a peep from Buttons all night. I wanted to check on him. I gave drowsy little Yanberry a pat, and he yawned in response. Curious, I peered into the crowded room that technically belonged to Softy.

Corvus greeted me with a smile, lifting his wing to show the most adorable sight my eyes could behold. Buttons and Softy were fast asleep, cuddled together on the nest Corvus had built for them. Corvus confirmed my suspicions with quiet nods. Buttons had slept peacefully the entire night with no nightmares or panic attacks.

This might all actually work!

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