#tanzul

[fantroll-purgatory]

@rice-22

So, we finished a review of this troll like a week ago, and you seem to have changed a lot of things, but save the sprite there are there very few pertaining to CD’s review? So in light of that I’m gonna be doing this second review instead of CD to see if I can bring anything different to the table. Furthermore, because your bio introduces multiple themes throughout, I’m going to go through once with light commentary and then make my changes at the very end when I’ve decided what themes to keep and which ones to toss.

Some info:in left i got him when he was the heir,i made an crown based on the fabric triangle some ghosts wear,also got an squid crown,got blinded for unknown reasons,got an squid cape that he hates and some cuffs that reflect how he is trapped on being the prince,on right theres him when ran from mean trollstodian,got an helmet and a bionic horn/tentacle,bad cover-up of his sign and the tentacles of his shoes are now off,id would like an re-design from the squid heir one,and the jelly runaway,also he does not look too muck jellyfishy…. Place:AU where theres an planet where trolls gets two custodians,an troll one and a lusus one,theres also a lot of communities like towns or villages,every one of them gets an fuschia leader and red bloods are important in society while limes are “trash”

Themes spotted: ghosts, squid, jellyfish?

Also, interesting concept of each principality having a fuchsia ruler! I guess in that context it makes sense for one to run away since there would be more fuchsias to fill the power vacuum.

Name:left is Glauce ?????? and right is Nomuro ??????, Glauce is pluto’s twin and Nomuro comes from Nomura,one of the biggest species of jellyfish,and ro because is the termination on some japanese boy names

Additional theme: Pluto??? Also I assume that when you say left and right you just mean first and last name???

Age:7sweeps,god he looks like 4!!,(reference to the turritopsis nutricula)

Yeah that’s pretty cool. Especially since he’s starting a new life.

Strife Specibus:hornmade brush

Additonal theme: paint…ing? Based on CD’s review I guess in reference to squids.

Fetch Modus:shock modus,guessing game,the item that is needed will not shock and the other ones will give an i wish little shock

Additional theme: …electric eels, maybe, if we’re going with the underwater theme? Unless this is meant to be a reference to a jellyfish’s sting…

Blood color:fuschia/hemoanon

It looks like his second look is clearly tealblooded, though, instead of hemonanon!

Symbol and meaning: Pimini mixed with variant of planetary symbol of pluto

And this is also from CD’s review. Given how much you’ve changed I’m no longer sure this is the same squid troll as last time, though the visual similarities remain…

Trolltag:JovenBidente Bidente is the combination of bident and seer on spanish,Joven is young

Hm so you seem to have fixated on “young” and “fuchsiablood,” which aren’t themes so much as parts of the character you want to highlight

Quirk: ]-ïmPortant stuff gets bidents-[ when theres an p and l together he types P_,double headed ï,uses symbols and caps,always cap P

I don’t think I fully understand this quirk beyond just being the first two letters of fuchsiablood signs?

Special Abilities (if any):seer powers like visions,also got mixed senses,can taste colors and feel sounds

And now we have a synesthesia ability? I guess that works pretty well with the squid thing…

Lusus:Jolly skid,an fusion between Jellyfish and an squid,also the name came from jolly rancher and skittles

Okay that’s pretty cute. Additional theme: candy? But maybe subsumed into the youth theme, which can be subsumed into the jellyfish one

Personality: shy,nervous but can flip to mad and brave

Interests:underrated stuff,jellyfish,necromancy

…ADDITIONAL THEME: NECROMANCY????

Title:seer of doom

Dream planet:Derse

Aight let’s go over the themes we found in this bio along with which themes can “eat” the other ones: squid (painting, synesthesia), jellyfish (ghosts/necromancy, youth/immortality (candy)), Pluto, and electric eels(?).

Hm. So if I wanted to collapse this into a couple broad and easily applicable themes, I’d probably stick with the jellyfish and squid? Which means I should go through and remove references to Pluto and electric eels?

Name: Which means, right off the bat, that we should change the first name from Glauce. Maybe Magfin, from the Bigfin Squid Magnapinna? They’re well known for being real freaky-looking squid with long, long tentacles that it uses to feed off the seabed, and are rarely even seen, which reinforces both the ghostly theme of hiding and the long chain of responsibilities that are difficult to escape.

Strife Specibus: Instead of paintbrushkid, maybe needlegun, like a tattoo machine?

Fetch Modus: I like the mechanic of the Shock Modus, so maybe we can just make it a Sting Modus with the same properties? We can also add in CD’s suggestion from last time of a Squid modus that works like a camouflaged tree modus.

Symbol: I agree that he’s a Doom player, a Dersite, and a Fuchsiablood, but I no longer think he needs the Pluto association? SO I might just make him straight-up Piminini again.

Trolltag: I think we can allude to him being “young,” to starting a new life, and to being a former heir without tipping our hand too strongly. How about splitImmortal? The “split” referencing his divided idenities as well as the bident, and “immortal” a reference to the immortal jellyfish you mentioned earlier as well as the fact that fuchsiabloods live significantly longer than their lower-blooded coutnerparts.

Quirk: I like the bident quirk, but I’d jettison the Pi quirk. For the rest maybe just a colon and an underlined equal sign after c? like so:

The quic:=k brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Looks a little like a squid, or a jellyfish, or a ghost, or a skull.

Special Abilities: I like what you’ve given him! I would like if his visions of doom were similar confused due to his synesthesia.

Lusus: the lusis is cute as hell I wouldn’t take him away from you

Personality: I think it makes sense for this character to have two faces since so much of his character is based on splits, but I would expand on this a little more in terms of what circumstances would cause him to decide it’s worth standing up to someone. For example, it seems that he weighed the odds and decided that running away was the better option to standing up to his trollstodian.

Interests: I like the necromancy detail actually! Let’s add something arty to justify the whole ink thing.

Now to the redesign.

Both sprites are slightly edited from CD’s review last time!

Horns - This is an AU so I guess he doesn’t have to have Feferi’s horns, but I thought it would be worth trying on.

Hair - This is slightly edited from CD’s review of this troll since I felt it had the character you were going for.

Crown - The crown looked a little busy, so I gave him a tiara shaped like the top of a squid head and gave him a gem that imitated the top of the symbol!

Eyes - I know the “blind seer” is the most overplayed trope, but deep-sea squids and jellyfish often don’t have what we consider “eyes.” I went with a blind look more similar to when Sollux “died” rather than Terezi’s look

1) because a tealblood seer with red eyes would edge a little too close to Terezi

2) the black eyes look a little spookier, playing back into the ghost theme

3) this gives a stronger tie-in to his synesthesia since it will function similarly to Terezi’s strong sense of smell

Helmet - Since I made him blind, I wanted to give him a Geordie LaForge type visor for his helmet!

Scarf - most scarves in Homestuck just show the one side of it to get the visual across so that’s what I did.

Symbol - just changed it to straight-up Pimini

Shirt - for the teal sign, I gave his shirt a scalloped edge to better call back to the jellyfish/ghost themes, especially since his helmet gives his head a domes appearance. This way his fuchsiablood version leans more on squid themes and his tealblood version is more jellyfish!

Shoes - the tentacles made the design a little busy, so I took ‘em otu but kept the ink stains, since they’re a nice nod to the squiddyness of it all and also a reminder that no matter where he goes, he’ll leave some trace of himself.

And that’s everything! Hope this helped!

-TR

[fantroll-purgatory]

@rice-22

-go away,im not showing you my upper face >[]c

-Actually that teal stuff its paint but…. his wounds look like that??

-afraid of odd numbers,wearing skirts and most of all,afraid of that round thing with holes

-As i said afraid of odd numbers so we need an fourth….fact?

based on betta fish,squids,death and associated god and titan is Pluto and Themis

This boy is interesting, but he’s definitely a little bit all over the place. I’m going to try to reign his themes in a bit to try to create a more cohesive character. Before I even get to his blood color or start reviewing him, I’m going to talk about the basic premise you have for him… It seems that he was a fuschia who later became a teal? But I have a more interesting idea for you. 

Perhaps he could be a tealblood who really wants to be a fuschia. Who wishes for the throne despite this being a clearly foolish and doomed goal. 

So I’m going to thin his theme down to Squids, for their camouflaging ability, ink for the idea of darkness and to harken back to the interest in painting you’ve given him, and Pluto, for his association with wealth, death, and blueish-green colors. 

Place:posibly some unknown planet/place in space

Let’s put him on a colony planet! We’ve never been given much information about whether or not mother grubs have been transferred off planet to start populating other colonized lands. It would take you a little extra effort, because you’d have to write up your own ideas for what this planet is like, but it’s an interesting chance! 

Maybe it’s a crappy backwater planet with lots of hostile life that’s mostly used as a waypoint and he’s being trained to handle some bureaucratic ship-docking job that he hates and so that’s why he decides he wants to be an heir. He knows he’s doomed to die here and he doesn’t want to do that. He wants to climb the corporate ladder, aggressively.

Name: Shinoi Tanzul(not sure) (Shin)means 4 and death in japanese,since his aspect is doom (oi)from aoi,means blue in japanese,also pronounced like oy,expression for feeling tired,surprice,etc (Tan)short for titannium,strong unlike him,atomic number 22 (Zul)from azul,blue on spanish

I think changing his name to Dibran Glauce might be a good idea!

Dibran is a reference to the Dibranchiata class of cephalopods, which are the kind that utilize ink in chromatophores to change coloration. Glauce is Pluto’s twin who died of mysterious causes at a young age. 

Age:close to 7 alternian sweeps (14 earth years)

Strife Specibus:painting brush,(got an bi-dent on the other side)

I think it should be a paint brush that transforms into a bi-dent, much like Kanaya’s lipstick/chainsawkind. It’s a nice reference to his desire to be a fuschia without quite hitting the mark.

Fetch Modus:wallet modus,simple as looking for your stuff at your wallet but no,its all overlapped and messy

How about a squid modus instead. It’s like a tree modus, but with more camouflage. There’s a base item that is the “head” of the squid and then 10 arms where he can store additional items. Removing the head ejects everything. Also, he cannot tell what any of the items are. they’ve all blended into the white backgrounds of the cards. He’s got to play a guessing game.

Blood color:born as a fuchsia blood,then noticed he was really an teal troll,got his blood teal at the end and he looves it!!

Since there’s less logical reason for a transition between fuschia and teal, that’s why I decide to make this switch. Instead of necessarily having a biological switch out of nowhere between a midblood and a fuschia, having a midblood attempt to vie for the throne is a lot more fascinating as a concept. 

Symbol:well,he got just an actual sign,pimini,sign of the adjuster,derse dreamer,doom aspect (he decided to paint his sign on the shirt and he sucks at it,but he still uses traditional sign for himself)

I actually do like this for him. The Adjuster fits well as a name for his desire. Maybe he self-selected this symbol after finding it online? But I think I’ll adjust it just a little bit to be a fusion of Pimini and Pluto’s symbol. 

Partially as a reference to Pluto, partially as a reference to Limini (which would be his birth sign). 

Trolltag:DuoBloo Bettadoom (idk)

aspiringIllustratheir, a reference to his art motif his aspirations, and his desire to become an heir. 

Quirk:he ïs P_retty døømed and hïs head ïs seP_arated øn twø ør møre P_arts….!! P_ :similar to the sign used for Pluto,P Ï :two headed I,same as an bident or him Ø :magic half O,since half of his face is visible Tries to type as best as possible,uses pairs on (….),(!!),(??),etc. He uses glasses on faces and swap between them: 3] B/ >[]D >2o ….

I do like the pairing thing… But I’d leave off the half o, because combined with everything else it becomes a little visually busy. The P_ might not be necessary either. Just capitalizing P probably works well enough! Maybe have him use ~~ sometimes as a reference to squid tentacles.

Special Abilities:he can see but can’t see,can see past,present and future,also can see other people point of view and sometimes on 3rd person,also got some mind powers but he sucks at being body strong

If we place him as a teal, that means he wouldn’t be given an actual abilities inherent to him. However, we know that seers do start to get some access to visions even prior to godhood, especially if they have a medium through which to view. If he’s a doom player, maybe he’s cursed… Cursed by some on-planet entity that allows him to witness oncoming danger, but also saps his strength and causes him to be easily agitated?

Personality: he is two or more minded,he is more often to the shy side but can get mad on two seconds by anything

Let’s give him a little more. Maybe he has a sort of air of mystery to the people around him. He’s shy and quiet, but he manages to play it off well, being perceived as more enigmatic than anything else. Since I have him placed as a teal, I want to give him some moral center… but I think it can be a really weak one considering his attempt to break the mold. So maybe his ethical center is just that no one deserves to die unknown in a job they didn’t ask for. And probably that he deserves to rule. 

More importantly, he needs to have a lot of focus on fantasy… He has this rich inner world where he’s convinced he can achieve this goal despite shit being bad and it being foolish. 

And you can keep him being emotional and reactive. Having a hairpin trigger is a really good character trait.

Interests:video games,equality,necromance and nonsences

This needs to be extrapolated a little more. Equalizing opportunity and obtaining wealth would probably be big goals of his. A desire to change the system. He could be interested in death/the dark, too, which could indicate how he becomes involved with a cursed entity… Give him a general interest in getting off planet and a general interest in politics too, maybe. I’m not sure what you meant by nonsences? Does he like those kinds of jokes that are just utterly incomprehensible? Because that’d be fun.

Title: seer of doom, can see the bad stuff coming

I do like this. He has a passive ability to know of the doom that is going to come and befall him. However, he has only partially realized his aspect. He must learn to Understand the doom that will befall him. He has to understand all the structures and ties and rules and systems that bind him. He must understand their inner mechanisms. He must understand all the ways in which he has created an unwinnable situation for himself. And then, through his inverse, Witch of Life, he has to attempt to actively influence the development of the world around him through this complex understanding… There’s a lot of growth potential for a character like him.

Land:land of Doom and stains??

Land of Idols and Stains, maybe. A land where he is worshipped as a false god, but it comes with dangerous, deadly consequences? 

Well thats all for now >2]

Design time!!:

Left: This is sort of his pre-trying to become a fuschia look.

Horns & hair: I kept the horns the same, but the hair I had to move up. I love characters with covered eyes, but there really was no themeatically appropriate reason to do so. It felt too much like falling back on blindness for a Suffering Aesthetic and I just don’t play with that. So the hairline moved up. 

Eyes & mouth:: I still wanted to give him the cute look the low hair had given him, so I gave him round and happy eyes. I gave him tiny pupils, though, because smaller pupils tend to be just slightly freakier fsr. His mouth is still just that little smile. 

Symbol: I put limini on his old shirt. 

Socks & shoes: I made his socks teal and kept the splashes of paint on his shoes. 

Right: Here’s when he starts trying to play fuschia. 

Helmet: The tiara attachment is obviously edited from Feferi. I wanted to make sure the helmet would cover up where his fins would be Missing. Keeping this on would be good for making his image convincing. 

Symbol: I combined Pimini and the Pluto sign I mentioned earlier. I still made it messily painted on. The added bonus of this is that it looks like he killed another fuschia. 

Socks & shoes: I just changed the colors to fuschia variants. 

Thank you for sharing him! I hope I was able to provide some valuable insights!

-CD