#tanks ted talks
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sams-darlin · 2 months ago
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original post by @puffin-smoke !!
i’m making this its own post instead of reblogging because i’ve been WAITING for someone to make this point.
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hush and doc are nowhere near comparable to blake and bestie and here’s why:
hush is a force turned physical. he has no concept of right and wrong, at least not fully. he only knows his purpose and the actions he must take to get to that purpose even if to others they appear wrong, and as we saw in Referred Judgement he killed vega without realizing it was wrong.
he only knows and is aware of the present moment, he has no concept of the future and consequences of his actions, he only knows “this person is doing something to hinder my plans, i must prevent them from doing so”. he only just learned what regret feels like, he’s learning how to exist for the first time, he’s learning how to exist outside of his purpose.
he has no set of morals, no humanity, nothing. he only does what serves his purpose
doc is NOT okay with the things hush does, at least not fully. they were terrified when he killed the demon in their house and have questioned him on why he does the things he’s done. i think the stage doc is in right now is less of a “i’m okay with this” but more of a “this guy is freaky powerful, let’s see if me gaining his trust can help him change his mind and not bring about the end times”.
remember, to doc and lots of other empowered humans the sovereigns are folktales, myths, some scary story told by the fireside, they have no idea the exact amount of danger hush intends to bring upon the world and much less how to handle it and as they’ve seen there’s no stopping him. i mean what would you do in that scenario? what have characters in movies and shows done in that scenario? you’re the one human this creature trusts, are you going to betray that trust and risk your life? are you gonna yell at him? fight him? what good will that do?
no matter what you do that creatures gonna bring upon destruction, all you can do is sit by and wait until powerful enough forces can put a stop to it or it gains enough morality through existing alongside you to understand what it’s attempting to achieve will destroy all of human and demonkind.
BLAKE however. that man is human. he has a set of morals no matter how skewed they may be, he knows right and wrong, he has a life outside of a purpose, he was not created from magic to bring about the apocalypse. he is a grown ass man. he is selfish. he knows what he’s doing is wrong but he does it anyway just to save one person who matters to him.
while hush is completely unaware of cause and effect therefore acts without considering it, blake knows his actions have consequences and seemingly does not care.
i will credit him tho, he actually knows what he’d rather do to get to his goal and has at least some empathy for sunshine and elliott, where hush has little to no empathy for anyone outside of doc and only says things like “i didn’t want to do that” after the fact.
hush only just learned the feelings that are regret and guilt, he felt them for the first time after killing vega, in his head he’s never viewed anything he’s done as bad it’s just the right thing in the moment that helps get his purpose fulfilled as fast as possible. blake knows he’s doing the wrong thing but for the “right” reasons, he knows it’s wrong and immoral but does it anyways.
bestie. has a boyfriend. who joined a cult. kidnapped and tortured two people. and sold his soul and freedom to a sovereign(d’derihdan, mind you, sovereign of sadism guy). for them. and they’re okay with it. THATS THE DIFFERENCE. it’s two different situations.
there is nothing doc can do but help hush gain a sense of humanity and hope it’s enough to stop him, bestie saw their boyfriend commit horrific acts and possibly become a vessel of armageddon just to keep them alive and KISSED HIM AFTER.
bestie and blake are freaks and i forever stand by that. i hope bestie dies in blake’s arms and he destroys himself in efforts to get them back(failing of course).
thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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bekolxeram · 5 months ago
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I didn't realize until yesterday when someone pointed it out that our two lovable idiots actually did not show up to the bachelor party wearing matching costumes. They both dressed up as Crockett and just assumed the other would be Tubbs. It flew right over my head at the time because the episode was breaking the sound barrier, the drama in the fandom was going even faster.
So here is another thing I somehow missed until now.
Tommy flew Eddie to Vegas for a fight in a chopper. It's inspired jokes such as Tommy initially making a move on Eddie first, or Eddie being on a date without realizing it, but it's also given rise to opinion like Tommy putting more effort into his friendship with Eddie than his relationship with Buck, or even outlandish theories like Tommy trying to infiltrate the 118 to help councilwoman Ortiz bring them down.
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But as we can see here, Tommy enjoys flying, he even flies for fun outside of work.
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He's also been practicing combat sport long enough to match Eddie, who once participated in illegal underground cage fighting, in Muay Thai.
Tommy didn't go out of his way planning some expensive romantic getaway especially catered to Eddie's personal interests. It's stuff Tommy's been doing before meeting Eddie. He didn't even need to try that hard to get tickets, because he "knows a guy". It's like getting your hands on tickets for a gig you want to go, so you ask your friends to tag along.
To Buck, to the 118, people who don't live Tommy's life, he might seem "SoOo cOoL", but for him flying to Vegas to watch a fight is just another Tuesday. Going to a bachelor party while being on call (probably missing out on most of the fun), rushing to an impromptu hospital wedding after fighting a wildfire overnight without even stopping by to clean up and change, now that takes some dedication.
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aggro-my-beloved · 2 months ago
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david is so Grrrr Ruff Ruff but asher is like arf and then milo is all yip yip yip
then there’s tank who’s just
BOOF!!!!
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standardlovers · 8 months ago
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kevin day sunglasses at the kitchen table at 9:53am, yes hes hungover yes he looks like shit yes his hair is doing unexplainable things
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artificial-condition · 2 years ago
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Suchhhhhhh a good day
•lovely sunny weather but not too hot
•didn’t have work and don’t have work tomorrow
•took a shower in the morning and had my hair braided right after while still wet
•got bakery goods mmm
•made toffee and chopped some up which was really satisfying
•wore two different comfy cute outfits that I really enjoy and feel myself in
•blasted ridiculous songs on the way back from the bakery and looked ridiculous in a lovely way
•crocheted blanket I’m working on
•DIDNT GET A HEADACHE DIDNT GET A GLINT OF HEADACHE NOT EVEN AN INKLING OF PREHEADACHE
As far as getting things accomplished I didn’t do hardly anything but in the business of enjoying life I excelled today!
#my thoughts#one of the outfits was my carhartt overalls with ny light blue tank top#the other is an athletic tank top with athletic shorts but both actually fit me which I haven’t had any that really fit in years so woooo#oh and it’s a black tank top :) I love wearing black and I thought for a long time it was because wearing color made me anxious#but now that I’m pretty much over that I think I just really love wearing black#I feel sexy in it >:)#saying that as someone who literally never rarely ever feels or is compelled to feel “sexy#I think I’m experiencing something like gender euphoria of late#pardon me for using terms not really suited to my situation I don’t know how else to explain it#but basically I’ve never been enthusiastic really about myself and how I present in the world#being called a woman felt not good. felt like I was not a woman because a woman was supposed to be someone who looked and acted certain#“desirable ways#like I was not what society considered to be a woman. girl was fine I guess and I definitely wasn’t a guy. I just felt like woman was#an incredibly high standard to meet that I did not meet nor really wanted to meet. being called a woman made me internally cringe#I’ve known for a while there’s no right way to be a woman but I think I’ve finally internalized that and am at a point#where I truly love myself and accept myself. and now being a woman seems all right. so being a woman feels euphoric to me#and expressing myself in clothing and other presentations is incredibly fun and feels euphoric#I never really had much of an interest before. probably because I felt like there was some standard I had to meet that I couldn’t and didnt#want to meet. but now I’m discovering what I really like and doing things because it’s fun and silly and goofy and it’s so FUN#anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk#playing around with gender is beneficial to everyone
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where-does-the-heart-lie · 1 month ago
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Op Characters Body Study
Id definately do more of these but please dont suggest anymore to do cuz then my brain will shut the idea off entirely <3
Reference Image:
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design comments:
Sanji: I wanted him to mainly be in the legs, while the shoulders and arms were closer together. Compact up top, Watermelon Crushers on the bottom. i vaguely designed him with the Marathon runner from the reference image in mind. I differ from the reference in that i give him upper body muscles cuz he loves his break dancing moves and you need hella muscles for that.
Zoro: Big tits & Tank Body. Cant knock this cat over.
Sabo: This man in my eyes is a Barbie Doll. Long Legs Tiny Torso. Winx Club Sailor Moon lookin mf. In part inspired by this panel of him:
Nami: My headcanon for Nami is that when we first meet her she is very skinny and malnourished, then overtime living with the strawhats she gains weight and progressively gets chubby. I just think that Sanji always cooking her such nutritious meals and tasty sweets, and not needing to fight for herself all the time, would lead to her lovely new body type. Something, something, 'to be loved is to be changed'.
Plus, her new fighting styles isnt like "im wacking you with this stick" anymore, its more "I'm moving this stick in this direction and striking you with the lighting coming from it". That still needs muscles though so i gave her some good muscles up top :3
Artist note: i spent way to long lovingly drawing her boobs.
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Ace: He's the dorito man of the universe. Broad shoulders, itty bitty waist. I modeled him after the basketball player in the reference image Alton Huston. i think that he would focus his athleticism in Jumping and Throwing (literally) punches, so it leads me to think he would build the same muscles a basketball player would.
man is 60% legs. freak. anyway,
I just like the idea of a perfect body that has been twisted by its scars.
Luffy: Brick Shithouse. Healthy mix between muscle and fat. i just wanted to make him look Really Healthy.
The majority of this design is just giving these characters body fat. i dont like the way gangly abs and tits look i love a chub. PWEEESEEE ODA GIVE ME A CHUBBY WOMAN CHARACTER PWEEEEEEEEEESE IM BEGGING YOU PWEESE PWEEESESESESESESESESSSESESES
*ahem*
anyway
i had a lot of fun drawing these, i love love love drawing anatomy and this was a good learning experience on top of that. One of the ways i drag myself out of art block is i just do art studies so this is kinda that.
thank you for coming to my ted talk <3
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thedappleddragon · 10 months ago
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Girl help why are my sea monkies dying
They are like a week n a half old and I saw a bunch of hatchlings a few days ago but not there’s like. 3. And they are back flipping. What am I doing wrong
I followed the packet instructions obv, I leave them in front of a non drafty window for some sunshine, I occasionally turn on a heat lamp when it’s v cold, idk. I was super exited to have a pet or thing to take care of n monitor but I am afraid they won’t make it
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plushslug · 11 months ago
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being nonbinary femme for me is like. im a thing bc im a simple creature im a boy in the way you call an unknown animal a little guy and im a girl. bc im a Lesbian
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bl00000g · 1 year ago
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TUMBLOINTS PFFT-
So far one of the biggest differences between reddit and tumblr for me is that there's no pressure to create a "good" post. There's no button to reduce the number of notes a post has (unless you're the source of one of those notes, which I mean hey, you gave me these imaginary internet numbers in the first place, feel free to rescind them for any reason).
There's no bots that will automatically delete my post because I didn't have 10,000 tumbloints, users don't seem to come out of the woodwork to disparage your post if it doesn't meet some invisible standard of content (and if they do you can just block them)
I've had a reddit account for 14 years and I think you can already get a better picture of who I am as a person in my less then 12 hours of tumblr shitblogging.
Anyway, thanks tumblr friends for being so welcoming.
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mephilesthedork · 3 months ago
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"Twink Danny is freakishly strong" is an overused trope, and so is "Danny grows up to be a 6 foot 200 pound tank".
I want to see sleeper build Danny. I wanna see Danny gain muscles, and, in his endeavor to still be seen as a weak, defenseless nerd, start wearing sweaters and baggy clothing. I wanna see Danny pull Dash and Kwan away from a ghost, and then he gets interrogated for it later.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk
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creamflix · 5 days ago
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I'd like to request literally anything with dr ratio. The way you write him has me foaming in the mouth 🙏
content: established relationship with ratio, no reader gender specified, fluff and crack  thank you for the request anon! hope you like it <3 i wasn't sure if you wanted an nsfw one or not... so i just decided to keep it a lil' silly. feel free to send in another request if you'd like anything/a nsfw drabble in specific. — general masterlist ☆
the aquarium was your idea. ratio wasn’t against it — he rarely was when it came to you — but you had a sneaking suspicion that the allure of his encyclopedic brain being put to good use played a part in his agreement.
what you hadn’t accounted for was just how much he’d use it.
“yellow fish!” you cried, pointing at a vibrant creature darting past the glass.
“paracanthurus hepatus,” he corrected instantly, eyes following it with the precision of a trained biologist. “commonly known as the regal tang. it’s not technically yellow; that shade is more of a goldenrod or mustard.”
you turned to him with a pout. “goldenrod fish doesn’t have the same energy, babe.”
he raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking just slightly — ratio’s version of a grin. “and yet it would be more accurate.”
you stuck your tongue out at him and moved on, weaving through the crowd of kids marveling at jellyfish.
“blue fish!” you exclaimed as soon as you spotted another tank, tapping the glass lightly.
“pomacanthus paru,” he chimed again, standing behind you with his hands resting casually in his coat pockets. “blue angelfish. they’re omnivorous, by the way —”
you turned to him, a mock frown plastered on your face. “veritas, i swear, if you give me one more fun fact, i’m gonna dunk you in this tank.”
his laugh was a low rumble, and he stepped closer, the warmth of his body brushing against yours as he bent slightly to meet your eyes. “admit it. you’d miss my ‘fun facts.’”
you squinted at him, feigning seriousness. “not if i replace you with a yellow fish. they’re prettier.”
he hummed in mock contemplation, his hand ghosting over your waist. “fair. though, for the record, paracanthurus hepatus is primarily blue, not yellow. you'd probably miss me correcting you too.”
“you’re such a nerd,” you teased, nudging him lightly.
he tilted his head, his gaze softening. “and yet you’re the one who insisted on coming to a place that’s basically a playground for me.”
caught. you shrugged, trying to play it cool. “i didn’t realize i was signing up for a ted talk with my boyfriend.”
“you could’ve just asked for the romance package instead,” he replied smoothly, his voice dipping into something quieter but no less teasing.
you blinked up at him, feeling your cheeks flush. “there’s a romance package?”
he smirked, leaning just enough to make your heart do that ridiculous fluttery thing it always did around him. “not officially, but i’m open to requests.”
your retort caught in your throat as he gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his hand lingering at the side of your face.
“shark!” a child yelled nearby, breaking the moment.
you both turned, watching a sleek predator glide past the tank.
“carcharhinus limbatus,” ratio murmured, his lips curving as he glanced back at you. “that’s a blacktip shark.”
“if i call it a ‘toothy fish,’ are you gonna dump me?” you whispered, trying not to laugh.
his expression softened even more, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “never. but you’ll owe me one accurate name by the end of today.”
you grinned, leaning into him. “deal. but only because i like you.”
“like?” he repeated, mock offended. “not love?”
you pulled back slightly, pretending to consider. “depends. will i get more random shark facts if i say love?”
he chuckled, looping an arm around your shoulders as you walked to the next exhibit. “unfortunately for you, those are non-negotiable.”
“then i guess you’re stuck with me, goldenrod fish corrections and all.”
produced by creamflix on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, modify, repost — support your writers by liking and reblogging. ♡ banners by cafekitsune
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squinch-depraved · 3 months ago
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staying in ted's apartment for chuckle week with schlatt and getting caught being a lil slut on his couch <3 not super proofread and i'm not sure how i feel about this one but i hope u enjoy :3
"i don't understand how it can be this hot," you sighed, stretching your legs and giving them a little wiggle. "i know i'm not, like, from L.A. or whatever but this can't be normal."
schlatt snorts, eyes not leaving the movie playing on the tv screen. "nothing's normal in this hellhole. this place is fucked." he stops talking, but it seems like he has more to say.
"that's it? usually you talk about how much you hate it here for at least five minutes," you ask, fiddling with the hem of your tank top.
"no point. ted's not here to piss off." his eyes sneak down to glance at you, small and sweaty and weak compared to him, and he thinks about how easy it would be to take you right here before he catches himself and looks away.
but you caught him first. "j?" you ask sweetly.
schlatt won't look at you. "what?" he replies hesitantly.
"ted's not here," spills from your lips.
"i know, i just said-"
"and he won't be back for a little bit."
the tall man nods his head after a second, finally able to look at you again. "what're you getting at?" he tilts his head slightly, admittedly curious to see if you would actually ask him what he thought you were about to ask.
"i'm bored, j," you mumble, tiptoeing around the question you really wanted to ask. his lips curl into a smile when he realizes you're too shy to ask.
"watch the movie, y/n," he responds in the same tone of voice.
"don't wanna." your eyes trace over his grey shorts, and you lose yourself in daydreams of your best friend. when you zone back into reality, you're fiddling with one of the strings that tie the shorts. mortified, you whimper and look up at him, dropping the string and scuttling backwards in an attempt to hide your embarrassment. his face is incredulous. he grabs your arms before you can scoot too far away from him.
"jesus, toots, what're you doin'? on ted's couch?" he tsks and pulls you onto his lap. "all you gotta do is ask, i'd be more than happy to help you out if you need me."
his last two words ring in your ears. need him. head nodding eagerly, you scoot closer to him on his lap, grinding down on his clothed crotch and forcing a groan from his lips. "need you, j," slips out before you can stop yourself. "please, please."
"jesus, fuck," he grumbles. "you're such a little whore, i always forget that about you."
"aww, schlatty, how could you forget about me?" you giggle, still grinding on him. "you're always on my mind, am i not on yours?" pressing your lips to his neck and kissing all over, he gasps and digs his fingers into your hips.
"nono, you are, i just- god, y/n, i can't think," he chuckles breathlessly.
"then stop thinking, j. fuck me." you whisper it into his ear and he grunts, flipping you over and pinning you down while he kisses you roughly.
"taste so good, doll, fuck," he moans, hands slipping up your tank top and eventually ripping it off. the second your tits are visible his brain sort of short circuits, and after a brief pause, a deep groan escapes his lips, and he buries his face in your chest, licking and kissing and sucking until they're spotted with deep purple marks. you're a moaning mess at this point, a wet spot becoming visible even through your shorts. once he's done marking his territory, he pulls back enough to see your pathetic sopping shorts and grins. "goddamn, y/n, i did this to you?"
"shut up!" you huff, grabbing him and pulling him down for another kiss. your other hand snakes its way to his clothed cock and fiddles with it, earning moans from him while his tongue explores your mouth. once neither of you can breathe properly, you separate and look at each other. "i need you so bad, j."
"i know," he smirks. you smack at him while he laughs and when he comes back down to kiss you, you tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him as close against you as you can.
"please, i'm so serious, i can't wait any longer, schlatt, please touch me," you mewl, bringing his face to look at you and your big, wide eyes. he chuckles and nods slightly, pulling off your shorts and panties. even though it's sweltering in los angeles, the air that hits your cunt feels cold and shocks you. he moves back so he can get a good look at you and spreads your legs. you whimper in protest but he shushes you and stares between your legs, eyes hungry as if they were trying to take everything in.
"look at this gorgeous, pretty pussy," he mumbles. "all for me." his voice is deep and gravelly. eyes flicking up to your watchful ones, he makes sure to ask permission before going in and pressing a warm kiss to your clit. you gasp and flinch at how good his mouth feels, now working on sucking and exploring your folds. eventually, he slips a finger in, and you cry out in pleasure. he begins going faster, and eating you more vigorously, and neither of you hear the door open and shut.
"what the fuck are you guys doing?!" ted asks, causing schlatt to disconnect from your pussy, although still connected by strings of your wet essence hanging from his chops and mustache.
"oh, fuck, dude i'm sorry, we should've gone to one of our rooms-"
"you couldn't have waited 'til i got back?"
neither of you know what to say to the man who's kind enough to let you stay in his apartment. he does that for you and you repay him by getting nasty on his couch. rude, if he does say so himself.
"w-what?" you manage to choke out, propped up with your arms behind you.
"you couldn't have waited for me to be here so i could join?" ted says again, shifting his weight onto his other foot. "why does he get to fuck you and i don't?"
you and schlatt look at each other, not knowing what to say.
and that's how you wound up on your hands and knees, getting slammed into from behind by schlatt with ted ramming his cock down your throat. various praises echo through the room, both men making sure to tell you how good you're making them feel. and when they're done, they trade places. they use you until they're done and you just have to sit there and take it, because you're the one who started this whole thing. and when it's all done, you lay down on ted's chest with schlatt petting your hair until they exchange unspoken words and decide to trade off cuddle time with you. expect this to happen all the time now.
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azzifuddworlddomination · 5 months ago
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casual pt. 1
okay yall i've never written fan fiction before, but i saw one too many pazzi edits to casual and i couldn't help myself but write something. not proofread lol
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“I’ll be ready in a second, I swear,” Azzi calls over to Colleen, who has been sitting on Azzi’s bed as Azzi gets ready. They were supposed to be at Ted’s an hour ago, where the rest of the team is celebrating first night. 
Colleen watches as Azzi paws through all of the drawers in her dresser. Unsatisfied, Azzi begins to dig through the pile of laundry that was building on her floor. “What are you even looking for?” Colleen asks. “My good bra,” Azzi replies, “I can’t find it anywhere. Unless I left it at…” Azzi trails off. “Don’t even finish that sentence,” Colleen advises. “You aren’t still seeing her are you? She’s making you look like a loser, while she goes and does whatever the hell she wants, while you just wait for her to be “ready,”” Colleen wraps air quotes around her last word. 
Azzi knew Colleen was right. Azzi turns around and slips her shirt off, before putting on a different bra, and a purple tank top. She turns back around towards Colleen, “let’s just go,” Azzi says. “Come on Az, I feel like you aren’t really hearing me…” Colleen says as she follows Azzi out of the dorm. “I just don’t want you to waste your time on her. You’ve been here for like three months and she’s just made you miserable this whole time,” Colleen finishes. “I know Colleen, but can we please just not talk about this tonight? I actually want to try to have a good time tonight,” Azzi replies. “Fine,” Colleen responds, knowing that Azzi’s will most likely end in a bathroom, crying over Paige.
Ted’s is packed tonight. Both the men’s and women’s teams had gone out to celebrate, as well as what seems like every other student at UConn. Azzi looked through the crowds before finding the women’s team surrounding the counter and taking shots. “Finally you’re here!” Nika calls out to the girls as they make their way over. Nika hands Azzi a shot, “You gotta catch up,” she reasons. Azzi downs the shot. Nika hands her a chaser which Azzi happily accepts. Nika hands Azzi a drink and pats her hand before going back to Dorka. Amari comes over and drunkenly envelopes Azzi in a hug. Amari tries to catch Azzi up on all that she missed while she was still back at the dorms getting ready. Azzi peers around the crowd as she notices that Paige isn’t with the rest of the team. As Azzi looks deeper into the crowd she finds Paige talking to a few guys from the men’s team. Azzi gently touches Amari’s arm “Wow, Amari, I feel like I was there,” she laughs before she leaves to go make her way through the crowd to Paige. 
“You and Fudd?” one of the guys asks as he playfully shakes Paige’s shoulder. “No, no its not like that,” Paige responds, “We’re not together. It’s just a casual thing right now.” 
Azzi steps back accidentally stepping on the person behind her. “Watch it,” the girl calls out. Azzi turns around and makes her way towards the door. As she reaches the doorway to the alley, she can’t hold it in anymore. She throws up all over the steps of the backdoor.
Azzi carefully walks down the steps, avoiding her own vomit. She makes it onto the ground, and slides her back against the wall. Normally Azzi would be cold in the November weather in just a tank top and jeans, but tonight she was burning. Casual?? She thinks to herself. We’re just casual??
The entire time that they have known each other, Paige and Azzi have been anything but casual. From flying to each other’s basketball games to going on vacation together to Paige moving in with Azzi during covid; they have never just been casual. 
When Paige had gone off to college, she and Azzi had agreed that they would wait to be exclusive until Azzi started school. Paige enjoyed playing into the hot shot basketball star persona that she had at UConn her freshman year, but she would still make time for her nightly facetimes with Azzi, even if she had to leave a different girl’s dorm to do so.
Azzi’s been at school for three months, and it seems like Paige has made no effort to become exclusive. Azzi didn’t want to pressure her into anything. She would just wait until Paige was ready. Azzi tried to be with other people, but at the end of the day they weren’t Paige and she could never do it. 
The door opens, breaking Azzi out of her train of thought. Azzi turns her head to look at the door, as she sees a blonde figure walking down the steps. “Az, Aaliyah said she thought you come out here. What are you doing?” Paige asks. “I just came out here to get some air,” Azzi responds. Paige reaches out her hand and pulls Azzi up from the ground, bringing her into a kiss. For a split second, Azzi kisses her back, before she breaks off the kiss. She rests her head on Paige’s shoulder. Azzi’s mad, and Azzi knows that she’s mad, but Azzi also knows that all she wants to do right now is be with Paige. She’s mad, and she’s conflicted, which makes her even more mad. “Let’s go back in Az, it’s cold as shit out here,” Paige says. 
Azzi follows Paige back in, but stops at the bar as Paige keeps walking. Azzi orders two drinks before retiring to a corner in the back of the bar. Casual??? Azzi thinks. She says we’re casual and yet she’s the only one who came looking for me??? And she kissed me??? What the fuck??? 
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bbymunsonx · 5 months ago
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slumber party
pairing: ted lasso x reader (f)
warnings: language, pure smut, thigh riding, fingering, piv (unprotected oops)
word count: 2k
when ted invited you to an away game and they accidentally book the wrong amount of rooms, you're gonna have to stay with him for the night. one bed plus a bar of sexy chocolate makes for a very interesting sleep over.
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Alrighty, does everyone have their room cards?" Ted asked the group. You looked around, and of course, you were the only one that didn't have a room card.
"Um, I don't have a room." You spoke up. Ted immediately looked at you with softened eyes.
"I'm very sorry, we don't have any more rooms available." The hotel employee said. You groaned in response. This is why you don't go to any away games. Luckily, you and Ted were really close friends so of course, he offered you to stay in his room.
"It's really no problem at all, it's just one night." Ted reassured. One night shouldn't be a problem.
Ted was even more than willing to carry your bags into the room too. The two of you walked into the room and automatically groaned in response.
There was only one bed.
"I could've sworn this room has two beds." Ted said, annoyed.
"It's alright, look," you pointed at the couch on the side of the room. "There's a couch. I'll just sleep on the couch and you can take the bed.
"I'm not gonna let you sleep on the couch, but I know if I sleep on the couch, my back is be like a right angle when I wake up." Ted laughed.
"I mean, I think we can both be adults and take the bed, yeah?" You quirked an eyebrow at him.
"Alright, only if you're comfortable with it." Ted really wanted to make sure he wasn't putting you in an uncomfortable position, but little does he know, you've had a crush on him for ages. You've always dreamed about a moment like this.
"I'm absolutely comfortable with it." You confirmed.
The two of you sat on the bed and got comfortable on your respective sides. Ted decided to turn on a movie so the two of you laid in bed and watched the movie. Halfway through the movie, Ted offered you a drink from the mini fridge, to which you said yes.
After the both of you became buzzed, you decided to go into your bag to get your phone charger, but something else had fallen out of your bag, also.
"Darlin' you dropped your candy," Ted picked up the chocolate bar to hand it back to you, but his eyes widened as soon as he saw the wrapper. It was one of those chocolates that make you extremely horny when you eat it. "What the hell is this?" He laughed.
"Oh my god," You groaned. "Beard gave it to me as a joke. He told me that him and Jane eat these all the time and that it's like... unreal."
Ted's glance kept dancing between you and the chocolate bar in his hands. He cleared his throat. "That sounds, interesting."
"I don't even know why I took it. It's just gonna be a waste." You turned away from Ted to get your pajamas out of your bag.
"It doesn't have to be a waste." Ted quirked his eyebrow at you.
"Really?" You raised your eyebrow back at him.
"Why not? It's storming out so we can't do anything, it'll give us something to do. Unless you don't wanna do it." Ted quickly reassured.
"You're right, why not? Let me just get my pajamas on and let's do it." There's a chance nothing will even happen, but he's right. There was nothing else to do.
You went into the bathroom to get changed into your pajamas. When you looked into the mirror, you had to give yourself a little pep talk before you could go back out there.
You walked out in a pair of satin pajama pants and a satin tank top, with no bra, of course. Ted quickly adjusted his sweatpants and cleared his throat when he saw you. You think he would be completely fine without the chocolate.
You plopped down on the bed next to Ted, resting on your knees. He was nervously playing with the chocolate in his hands.
"You ready?" He broke the chocolate in half and gave you one half.
"Let's do this." You both clinked the halves of chocolate before eating them. You took the chocolate and thoroughly chewed it before swallowing it. When you and Ted both finished eating it, you two just looked at each other.
"I don't feel anything," Ted said.
"Yeah, me either. I feel fine." You said. It was true, you really did feel fine. "Let's just give it some time."
Ten minutes passed and you two felt okay. Ted was completely focused on the movie you guys were watching while you kept trying to glance over at Ted through your peripherals.
Twenty minutes passed and neither one of you said a word. You were starting to feel more awake, but that was the only extent of it. Maybe Beard just gave you a regular chocolate, but he wanted me to think it was the special chocolate. Kind of like a placebo effect.
Thirty minutes passed and you finally began to feel something. You weren't sure about Ted, but you were starting to feel uncomfortable in your skin. The fabric of your clothing was just too tight. Your nipples were strained against the very thin material of your shirt. Underneath your underwear, your clit began to throb, desperate for some sort of contact.
Ted was still watching the movie that was on while you subtly crossed your legs, trying to relieve some of that pressure. It did, the tiniest bit. I clenched my legs and slowly rubbed my legs back and forth, trying so hard not to groan at the frustration. It wasn't good enough.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ted's hand slowly moving over to your side of the bed. His hand finally landed on your thigh, and you already wanted to scream. The inner skin of your thigh was incredibly sensitive, and his touch made you turn to jelly.
"Just watch the movie," Ted said coldly. "I'll take care of ya." Ted used his finger nails to softly draw circles around your inner thigh, working his way up to your center. He softly cupped your pussy over the fabric of your shorts, causing you to inadvertently grind on his hand.
Without even looking at you, he slipped his hand underneath your shorts and your underwear and began drawing lazy circles over your clit.
"You're so wet. Is this all for me?" Ted said cockily. "I don't think we even needed that chocolate. I think you get yourself all worked up on your own."
"Fuck," I moaned. He finally looked over at me and his eyes were completely blown with lust. As his finger continued to circle your clit, you hand reached up under your shirt to pull at your nipples. Between the sensation on your clit and your nipples, it was enough to push you over the edge.
"Wait, wait." You moaned out to Ted, not ready to come yet. He quickly pulled his hand out from underneath your shorts. You quickly got up and straddled Ted's lap, over his obvious boner. You wrapped your arms around his neck and connected your lips onto his. It was messy and desperate. The two of you couldn't possibly get closer to one another.
The outline of his cock was directly underneath your clothed pussy. As his tongue slipped into your mouth, you moaned right into his mouth causing you to grind down right on his cock.
"Oh my god," You cried out as the fabric of your shorts hit your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. The pressure you've been looking for.
As you continued to work your hips back and forth, Ted took it upon himself to pull your tank top off, exposing your tits right in front of his face.
"Fuck, look at you. You're unreal, darlin' you know that?" Ted groaned into your tits. He latched his lips onto your right nipple and swirled his tongue around the peak. The warmth of his mouth was ungodly.
Your hips began to move faster as you were about to come. The moans that left your mouth were filthy, the type of moans that you only hear in porn. Ted must've been able to tell that you were able to finish.
"Come on baby, that's right. Come all over me. I've gotcha." He continued to play with your nipples as he tried to get you to finish.
"Mmmmm," You squealed as the cord in your lower belly snapped, causing you to come all inside your pajama pants. Out of breath, you exhaled, "My god."
"That was the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen," Ted said. "But, if I don't fuck you right now, I think my dick will explode."
You helped Ted rip off his t shirt while he worked on his sweatpants. Just in his boxers, he flipped you over so he was hovering above you.
He leaned down and placed a desperate kiss on your lips and he worked his way down the rest of your body. Trailing a mess of kisses down your neck and collar bone. You began whining, needing more from him.
"Darlin', I would love nothing more than to have my tongue all over you, but I need to be inside of you, okay? Besides, I think you're more than ready for me." Ted groaned.
"Next time, then." You said cockily.
Ted pulled his boxers down, his cock springing right on his lower belly. You gulped, not only because you wanted him, but because you weren't quite sure he was going to fit.
"Ted, I-," You grew worried.
"It's okay. honey. I'll go slow." He placed a kiss on your lips before lining his cock right at your pussy and slowly pushing inside. He had one hand on the side of your face, using it as leverage to kiss you. His other hand rubbing slow circles on your clit so you'll take him in easier.
"You okay, sugar?" He asked.
"I'm perfect, Teddy. I need you to move," you whined.
Ted moved in you more and more. You moaned louder every time he moved. When you wanted him to go even deeper, you felt the tip of his cock nudge against your cervix causing your back to arch in pleasure.
Ted slowly moved out of you just to slam back in. As he could feel your pussy getting accustomed to his size, he began to pick up the pace. Slow and passionate turned into fast and desperate.
"Would you take a look at that?" Ted breathed out, forcing your head to look down. As drew out his thrust, you could see the bulge of his cock in your lower stomach.
"Jesus, baby. You look so fucking hot like this." Ted moaned as he continued to thrust into you.
As he continued rubbing your clit, you could feel your second orgasm begin to build.
"Ted, I'm close," you moaned into his mouth.
"Me too, baby. Come on my cock, sugar." Ted moaned back. That's all it took for you to let go, coming all over Ted while he was still inside of you.
"Where do you want me, darlin'?" Ted asked while you were riding out your high.
"Inside. I need to feel you fill me up." I moaned. At that exact moment, Ted let go and came inside of you. His thrusts became lazier as he was riding out his high inside of you.
As he pulled out, he groaned at his come just sliding right out, "Baby, you should look at this. I'm just falling right out of ya."
The thought of that made you wanna jump on top of him and fuck him again.
Ted rolled over and laid in bed next to you and the two of you started to laugh. You covered your face as you laughed, with a hint of embarrassment.
"I gotta ask Beard for more of those chocolate," Ted exclaimed.
"I thought you said I didn't need it. I honesty don't think you need it either." I smirked at him.
"You're completely right. I just like chocolate." Ted joked, causing you to laugh.
God, this man was perfect.
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goldbug127 · 10 days ago
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Apologies in advance for a long post!
Okay, so I'm watching Transformers Prime for the first time and I just finished the amnesia episodes.
Naturally, I have thoughts. My main one being:
This version of Orion Pax is as feral and all over the place as TF One Orion Pax!!!
HE'S JUST QUIETER ABOUT IT!
Ok first of all, obviously we don't see a lot of this Orion and 75% of the time he's just tryna figure out where he is and what's happening but I believe there's enough there to comment on.
Onto the first scene I want to talk about!
Orion Pax has just been told that his entire home planet has been destroyed, by someone he knew no less. His reaction is one we would all expect from a soldier. Clenching his fist, promising to stop Ratchet, "this I vow with all my spark", etc. etc. BUT we forget, this guy thinks he is an archivist. As far as he's aware, this guy has never fought anyone before plus, we know from later that he doesn't even know he has weapons. And sure he may not explicitly say he plans to fight anyone but, as I said, he's an archivist, his little speech was someone with a big vocabulary's version of "it's on sight if I meet this guy!"
The next scene I would like to talk about is when Arcee manages to get aboard the decepticon ship. Orion is peacefully working on his computer when he starts hearing blaster fire outside the room! What we would most likely expect a calm, sensible archivist to do is, I don't know, ask what's going on? call for help? alert some security? hide? any other number of things that wouldn't put him in immediate and potentially life threatening danger? yes, that would be logical wouldn't it? but Orion? he decides the next obvious step is to walk out into the hallway into what he must assume is an active shooting situation. Then, after being told by a guard to return to his room to be safe, he thinks about it for a moment and then continues to go out of his way to look for the source of the commotion! While knowingly disobeying what he's been told are Megatron's direct orders! He's crazy!!
I also want to talk about how Orion reacts once he starts to become suspicious of Megatron. In the scene right after being confronted by Starscream and the scene later on when Megatron asks him about his progress, Orion Pax, now very sure that the decepticon could be dangerous, decides to lie directly to his face. I would also like to point out that, after one of these scenes, Megatron says that he has never been good at lying. Orion Pax has NEVER been good at lying, meaning that Megatron has seen Orion try to lie before. I don't even know why an archivist would need to lie but apparently he finds way to get in trouble enough that he does so frequently.
Adding on to this point - after Orion finds out he has guns (and realises he can absolutely obliterate others with a few shots (something our sweet historian should have probably been more concerned about)), this GUY decides to MARCH through the ground bridge!! find MEGATRON!!!! (aka the former gladiator and current head decepticon) AND THREATEN HIM!!?!!!?! Threaten him, no less, WITHOUT USING THE GUNS HE JUST DISCOVERED HE HAD! Orion decides to fight the LITERAL TANK using glorified knives. Naturally, Megatron wipes the floor with him in less than three seconds but the fact that he even tried is insane!!
Anyway, I'll probably think of more when I've had more time to think but that's all for now.
Orion is a mad lad in every iteration.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk,
you're welcome,
I need sleep.
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machveil · 2 months ago
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Most blogs: Simon would have a German Shepherd, or a Doberman, or a Rottweiler or- Me: ...Simon has a Pomeranian, a living puffball that he bought dog stairs for so she can get onto and off the bed without jumping and hurting herself, and he has little socks and jackets for her for when it's wet or cold outside, and she has a vest with a handle on the back of it so when he takes her outside he can also easily pick her up. He loves his tiny dog, and he has a hoodie that has a pet pocket in the front of it so she can curl up inside while he's working at home or laying on the sofa. Thanks for coming to my sleep-deprived TED Talk -🐸
I am a German Shepard believer, but Simon having a Pomeranian is just— [explodes]
Simon Riley walking down the streets of Manchester, big figure, dressed in black, medical mask over his nose and mouth… holding a cute little pink leash for this fur ball. it has the yappiest little bark and fluffy fur. he’s takes better care of this dog than he does himself - groomers appointments are regularly scheduled, vet checkups, the works
you know the ‘scary breeds’ of dogs that people joke about having names like ‘Cupcake’ or ‘Princess’? I’m thinking we’re on the other end here where Simon - straight faced - tells people his cute little Pomeranian’s name is, like, ‘Bear’ or ‘Tank’. all he adds on is, “She’s a tough one.”, even though this little thing could be blown over by a big gust of wind
firm believer in GirlDad!Simon Riley, but since he doesn’t have kids he’ll just heavily pamper this dog. the groomers said that she’d look cute with little dresses or bows and Simon took that as ‘buy your dog cute outfits, please’. she has her own little drawer full of cute accessories and dog clothes. partial to believing he bought the dog little doggie shoes and a rain jacket for bad weather
Simon does have a hoodie with a pet pocket, absolutely loves wearing it with his puppy. but, he isn’t opposed to just carrying her like a football, tucked in the corner of his arm. he definitely bought a stairway for the dog, her little legs can’t get her onto his bed :( not that Simon has trouble picking up this little thing, but she should be able to get up there if she wants to
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