#I would like to formally apologize to the fandom for this insane ted talk

[thenecropolix]

@sketch-pencilpoint @/notsozenzeneth [Cracks Knuckles] you two gave me an inch and now I'm going a mile

OK so off the bat when I started thinking "what would a train look like if it was a biological organism" I turned to the obvious that was crustaceans, with lobsters in particular what with their multiple legs (in place of wheels), armored bodies, and the way said legs look when they move

I wanted to keep it as realistic as possible, so instead of mammals, I immediately thought of these guys, which then quickly diverted me to insects, specifically millipedes

So we have a general basis for how a biological engine should look, but now comes the issues of wheels; while we have animals that roll their entire body as a form of locomotion (e.g. armadillo) or roll things (e.g. dung beetle), we have no critter that could be said to have wheels in place of legs in the taxonomic domain eukarya. Ergo, I decided to take a page out of Nintendo's book and turn towards making train wheels into skin patterns that would go on the train's feet.

Enter the humble caterpillar

Barring the first couple set of legs, you'll notice the "feet" of a caterpillar are rather round; that's because they're more like little suction cups that help them stick to the surface of things; what I'm getting at is that train "wheels" would instead be more like these suction cup feet that are patterned in such a way that resemble said wheels.

I want to quickly give a shout out to @theflyingkipper for this next point as their monster engine series introduced to me the concept of turning the funnel of trains into blowholes that release steam. I thought it was a very clever design, but I realize it could be taken a step further if we consider the funnel to be a horn; more specifically, I thought about the parasaurolophus

A thing to make note is that these guys' iconic horns were thought to act as an amplifier for their calls; I figured the same could be applied to trains, boiling down to 2 possibilities:

The blowhole is placed either in front of or in back of the horn, thus creating the illusion of a steam-blowing funnel

The funnel itself has the nostrils on the end like a trunk shaped horn, thus housing another airway aside from the mouth where steam is released

This brings us to the topic of steam and feel source; as much as I find the idea of flesh-eating trains fun, I do think realistically, their diet would be the same as the fuel used to light their fires. I think of how some of the largest animals on earth are primarily herbivores (or in the case of the whale, filter feeders) and how even if they don't eat meat, that doesn't make them any less frightening that say a tiger or wolf.

Henceforth, I like the thought of living trains grazing on grass and being fed coal by their drivers and firemen, but it bets the question: how do they get nutrients? Initially I thought they'd be literal gastroliths and actually eat the coal they're given, but given how most stones are consumed half of the time to aide in digestion rather than be digested themselves, I figured perhaps something else could be at play.

Enter the volcanic snail

These little guys are amazing because they are found in hydrothermal vents, aka underwater volcanoes. They were actually one of the first guys I thought of with train armor because their foot and shell contain iron, which I think makes for a fun comparison of biological organisms and engines with steel bodies. But back to my initial point, these guys are chemoautotrophs, aka organisms that get their nutrients from chemical reactions through a process called chemosynthesis. Ergo, it wouldn't be entirely unrealistic for engines to technically get nutrients from steam itself rather than what produces the steam, but that begs the question: how do they produce the steam?

After much thinking, I deduced that they could "eat" coal by swallowing it whole and they lighting it up from the inside using a pyrophoric liquid contained in a separate chamber that gets "leaked" into the chamber where the fuel is, thus producing steam that then is released through the funnel/blowhole. And as crazy as it sounds, there is some potential due to the inspiration for this idea: the bombardier beetle

Cute right?

This little fella uses chemistry to ward off predators: essentially there are 2 chambers in its abdomen that contain 2 separate liquids that upon contact, produce a chemical reaction that reaches the boiling the point of water, to which is then expelled as a scalding liquid that causes irritation upon contact. Let me repeat that again: a bug is mixing 2 volatile liquids to create a new liquid as hot as 212 degrees Fahrenheit (100 degrees Celsius) and is then spraying it at everyone else.

From this, I figured the inside of a train would be just as heavily armored as its outside in order to prevent internal scarring from its own pyrophoric liquid once it ignites; I'm comparing it to what the bombardier beetle does in that rather than releasing the explosive reaction, it keeps it inside and and instead releases the byproduct (steam). That being said, I enjoy the thought of an engine "breathing" fire by expelling this liquid not unlike a spitting cobra as a scare tactic.

On a final note, I think if the buffers of trains weren't just elaborate body gear akin to what horses wear when pulling goods or people, I could see them as modified spikes seen on a thorny devil or the kentrosaurs, pointing forwards not unlike a boar's tusk and used in combat and perhaps be subjected to being dulled with tennis balls to prevent accidents like one does with goats.

If by some chance anyone reads this and gets this far, I'd like to both thank and applaud you for taking time to listen to this nonsensical rambling of mine as I've quickly gone down the mine that is ttte and creature design.

[theangryjikooker]

gosh i hate to further call attention to anon but my timeline is a mess despite my meticulous curation but something that genuinely irks me—to a degree that pushed me into sliding into your inbox, im sorry—is how these people completely ignore the existence of v and jimin’s relationship? im not bringing anything new to the table w this but it’s crazy that whoever between jm and v interacts with jk “”more”” is the reigning boyfriend but god forbid v and jm might have anything beyond <<Platonic>> Soulmates. and even if we took a step back from romantic shipping—this whole ship war whatever nEver takes into account v and jimin’s relationship. everything about them and their interactions are omitted. they dont exist beyond orbiting the center if this shitstorm: jk (to no fault of his). its not revolutionary but if we’re going off anon’s logic, it’s relevant.

im really weirded out by this one-minded, tunnel vision whatever the fuck (am i allowed to swear? apologies) thing going on thats growing Exponentially in this fandom (at present) that This interaction Equals This Conclusion, no exceptions. no action is inherently anything until the ppl involve make it something. vibing at a concert isnt inherently romantic. people kiss and fuck ppl they Dont have romantic feelings for. ppl are ppl and ppl do things. i know this is coming off rlly redundant bc shipping is part of fandom culture and things escalating is kind of,, inevitable,, but must the majority go out of their way to behave like children on the cusp of learning social norms and cues for the first time? its awfully pitiable.

sorry for the word vomit and thank you for the really well written response to anon. i genuinely really appreciated that.

Disclaimer: When I refer to Jkkrs/Tkkrs in a less than savory light, I’m exclusively talking about the batshit insane ones. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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Hi, anon!

Rambling is okay here and so is cursing! You would have to have the patience of a saint to not curse in this hellscape I hate so much to love (I only do this for Jikook, I swear).

I think the reason why Vmin gets pushed to the side is because they're not really a "threat," which is stupid as hell, because if anyone depicts a true sense of what love can look like, it's Vmin. I only wish I had been drawn to Vmin from the start because they're drama-free for the most part. And I think if there was any drama, it never gets quite so hostile. I wouldn't know for sure, but the Vmin fandom seems to be having a fantastic time minding their own business.

But that in itself says a lot, doesn't it? The common denominator is Jungkook, and there's an inherent, unsaid claim to him. He's kind of the reason why there's such an intensity with weirdo Jkkrs and Tkkrs. I'm not pointing fingers and I'm not saying this is a widespread case, but Jimin and Taehyung are convenient modes to self-insert. Fact of the matter is--and anyone can deny this all they want to kingdom come--but we know Jungkook is HOT HOT HOT, and his appearance has A LOT, if not everything, to do with why some Jkkrs and Tkkrs get so stabby about Jungkook looking like he's closer to Jimin or Taehyung.

Have you ever been in or seen a real love triangle play out in real life? That's all primal instincts at work; your animal brain will bare its teeth and not let you think yourself rationally out of it.

Vminkook is the formidable love triangle that never dies, with Jungkook stuck in the middle. I would have to enact a formal study to say anything with certainty, so take this WITH A GRAIN OF SALT (a.k.a. I'm talking out of my ass and I know it), but my hypothesis has always been that Jungkook is the object of everyone's collective affections, and one's preference for Taehyung or Jimin is dependent on how much you see yourself in them/how much you can relate to them. This could also work in reverse where Jungkook is the one you feel the most connection to, and Taehyung or Jimin are the ones that stir up those primal emotions in you.

The only difference between a sane vs. toxic shipper in this case, however, is how far they take it. Some people take things WAY too personally one way or another, which only cements my belief that something more psychological is in effect as opposed to it being purely for entertainment.

So... heh, sorry, got carried away there. But back to your point, the only reason why Vmin gets ignored is because Jungkook isn't involved.