#talks with God
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sometime i wonder what it will be like when you meet God. will He be kind? authoritative? intimidating? larger than life? will He be like that fable of the spirit with a thousand faces - each as unpredictable and firmly etched as the next?
i imagine what it might be like if i were to get to meet Him.
in my mind, i meet God in the field at the end of Everything. my body feels light and heavy all at once.
i don’t know how that’s possible, but of course, it is.
when i meet Him, i’m not sure what to say. is there a proper greeting you’re supposed to say when you talk to the Creator of Everything? somehow, a simple hello or hey feels improper.
He knows how little i understand, and so He speaks first. His voice is definitely of someone All-Knowing and All Powerful. this deity has seen my every mistake and every failing and every lie and every cheat and every shortcut and every insult. he’s seen me in my infancy when i was nothing and in my younger years with sticky fingers and in my teen years with a sharp tongue. only He knows how hard my heart is, because He is the one created it. He alone can see through the flesh and blood and tissue and bone and straight into my heart and see what i truly am - just. human.
He asks me what my purpose was. the question catches me off guard - i figured if anything, isn’t God supposed to know the answer to that one? but He waits patiently, like He has all the time in the universe. of course, He does.
my answer is a guess at best - it feels like i have no right to be confident in what i say here. after all, who am i to know?
He asks if i know who He is. i nod, and He acknowledges it. He asks more questions - not inquisitive or interrogative or curious, but there’s a rhythm to the questions that’s thoughtful.
what i believed. who i believed. what i did. who i was. these questions are to be expected, but i still answer them with less confidence than i had hoped to have had. i feel ill-prepared and embarrassingly awkward.
His next question is unexpected, and there is a full beat before my mind begins to process it.
“Were you kind?”
“What?”
“Were you kind? Did you treat my Creation with gentility? Were you merciful to those weaker than you, and patient with those stronger?
Were you kind?”
something about the question makes my lip start to tremble and my vision start to blur. i try to will it to stop, to steady my voice, but it escapes me. in the back of my mind i think that i must look quite tiny like this, like a pudgy toddler gripping at your pant leg, small and earnest and vulnerable and perhaps, weak.
“I don’t know. But I know that I tried.
And I really did try.”
my voice wobbles more than i want it to. and just when i think i have it controlled, that the vulnerability has passed and the face i’ve worn all my life is back in place, the strangest thing happens.
a feeling of understanding fills me up and surrounds me all at once. God does not have a face, because he is not you or i, so naturally He has no facial expression. but something about the feeling filling me up like water on a sinking boat tells me that He understands.
He knows.
i had learned at a very young age that God is always watching - that He would know if i cheated on a test or tripped my friend in the schoolyard or gave my brother the infinitesimally smaller half of the chocolate bar. God sees everything. He Knows.
but it takes this moment for it to click into understanding for me. God sees everything. He knows. the knowledge of that hits me like a weight into my chest and knocks the air out of my lungs. it’s unnerving and unfamiliar and all encompassing. He knows all of it - He saw every time i picked my nose and everytime i told a white lie and everytime i prayed without thinking and everytime i was too lazy to study and everytime i disappointed someone in my life and everytime i knew better still chose wrong. He saw everytime i lied and everytime i swore and everytime i shot someone a dirty look when i thought they wouldn’t notice or everytime i broke a promise and everytime i let someone down. He knew everytime i thought something horrible or looked at something i shouldn’t have or everytime i eavesdropped or everytime i forgot to ask the cashier how their day went because i was in a rush. this is a terrifying realization.
yet somehow, the next realization is what scares me more. He saw everytime i blinked back tears and everytime i begrudgingly swallowed poison in my words and everytime i put on strength like an armor and everytime i wanted to yell until i couldn’t anymore. He saw every time i was too tired to cry and everytime i chose to be warm simply because i could and everytime i made someone laugh and every time i let someone borrow my pen even though it’s my favorite and everytime i sat with someone eating alone and everytime i complimented a stranger just to make them smile and even everytime i gave my brother the infinitesimally larger half of a chocolate bar.
something passes, and something stills. a new feeling washes over me - something so unfamiliar, but so welcome. i cannot tell you how it feels without it being a disservice, but i will try anyway.
it feels like… something. it feels like returning home from war and having your weariness lifted away. it feels like trying your favorite childhood treat and having it taste exactly as you remembered it. it feels like waking up on your birthday and having it feel special. it feels like returning home after a long day to a warm, home-cooked meal and eating it with someone you love. it feels like being hugged so you’re never the first to let go. it feels like sitting down after you’ve been standing for so long; like being exhausted and then settling into a made bed where the sheets are soft and the comforter is crisp and the pillows are cool and the mattress pulls you in and dissolves your restlessness. it feels like finding you have exactly the right amount of money in your bank account. it feels like the warmth of your favorite mug after you’ve just enjoyed a hot drink in it.
it feels like how i imagine it feels to return home after the longest day ever and put your head in the lap of a loving mother, who doesn’t need to ask anything as she softly brushes her fingers through your hair over and over and over again.
in my mind, God understands. He knows.
#talks with God#just something i wrote#secretly i hope this resonates with someone#my thoughts#i'm just so tired#im not worthy#journal#my writing#my thinkings#prose#spilled ink#spirituality#contemplating things#my meeting with God#i hope He is kinder than He is just#rest core#one day we will get to rest#emotionally exhausted#inkskinned#words words words
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If you skip a meal Senshi will materialize next to you w/ food at the ready
#(rins the one talking off-screen btw)#kabru is shit at taking care of himself and regularly forgets to eat#once senshi finds out he is gonna make it his duty to feed that boy bc god knows hes not gonna do it himself#whats kabru gonna do. stop him? lol. lmao even.#kabru#kabru of utaya#senshi of izganda#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#this is intended to take place post-canon so like. its implied i guess?#dunmeshi spoilers#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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amazing news for the bisexual community
"oscar isaac" "kristen stewart" "vampire" "thriller" "80s" ???? please
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hnnnnng
#god I’m looking so respectfully#196#r/196#rule#women#girls...#real talk the sound that first kick made was insane
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bastille has done more for the queer community by just making all of their love songs about "you" instead of specifying a gender than taylor swift has in all of her discography. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
#shrooms is talking#anti taylor swift#i can't believe y'all got mad at this woman for being straight#of course she's fucking straight#gods bless#stop trying to turn her into a queer icon#she's never gonna be a queer icon
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i never knew there were men in the room for this, “that was tough” oh man they were not prepared XD
#theres probably nothing more terrifying or crushing for straight men#than to listen to women debate attractive male characters#only 10 seconds of the women talking and i feel like i’m there#god i wish i could hear more#funny videos#behind the scenes#disney#tangled#animation#animated#animated movies#male character#flynn rider#eugene fitzherbert#attractive#animated characters#3d animation#character design
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EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt
#talk tag#IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still)#(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'')#GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!!#one time i saw that a person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi.#they are TWIN BROTHERS.#not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this.#just horrible#also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you
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I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be
a). I needed to watch that car and
b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.
It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.
Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.
So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.
She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?
And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:
"Because it was foretold."
And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.
I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.
#Mormon Jesus really wanted me to watch someone crack their bumper?#It was kind of funny to watch#like if this is gods apology i guess i can take it#a decade and a half of radio silence between former highschool friends and then one sends the other a shitpost#and maybe the friendship isnt fixed but its a channel you know?#at least we're talking again#would that all my stupid mistakes could be divine shitposts#amen#Babylon-Lore
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the joys of a keychain (wow! little object) vs the fears of a keychain (What If It Vanishes)
#raii talks a lot#if i lose my blue beetle keychain i’ll actually throw myself into the sun. hello. god#should be noted that i’ve never lost a keychain by putting it on something but the terror of that potential is real
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morning glory
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuuji#i cant even bring myself 2 b salty about No Megu part 4546768 bc oh my GOD#YUUJI RLY OUT HERE LOOKIN LIKE FALLEN ANGEL ALEXANDER CABANEL 1847 GEGE AKUTAMI THE ARTIST U ARE#we're so blessed we're so lucky this panel is ART i ran 2 open csp the moment i saw it#SO many s tier yuuji panels this chapter tbh but this. i dont think ill ever b over it#god im giddy im fangirling a little bit looking at it#i don't talk enough abt how Good of an artist gege is his expressions r masterful#it's incredible how much emotion he packs into stares n glances n gazes#and ESPECIALLY with yuuji there is so much weight and emotion and intensity in his eyes in every gd panel#king legend visionary etc etc etc does this man EVER turn it off ????#i honestly dont think i did the original panel justice its That good his gaze is That chilling#but i certainly tried my best :'> sampled colours directly from th fallen angel painting itself n it made the blues pop rly well#anyway if im sukuna im crawling back 2 him hands and knees give him back his boyfriend hes not here 2 play anymore FGHFGJSD
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the real MVPs of arcane
#my queen#my king#WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THEM#THEY LOST EVERYTHING#SACRIFICED EVERYTHING#FOR EVERYONE#HAVE SOME GOD DAMN RESPECT#arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane season 2#ekko#ekko arcane#timebomb#meljay#mel medarda#mel arcane
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I was at a Palestinian solidarity gig last night & the one Palestinian artist who was going to perform had COVID so the organisers asked around to see if there were any Palestinians who'd like to say a few words instead.
A local guy who was born & raised in Gaza offered to speak. He started with "I'm an engineer. i'm not a poet or a politician. I don't... do public speaking… I had no idea what to say when I came up here. So i'm just going to tell you about the street I grew up on."
And then he did! He went down the street building by building. He told us about the ice cream shop on the corner, the grocery shop, the charity that supports people with intellectual disabilities. He told us about the people who he knew growing up, the families who still live in the different houses. He told us about the university buildings and about his friends who quit being accountants to start a band together. All on that street.
All of which is gone now, by the way. Bombed to dust.
#Gaza#Palestine#I talked to him a bit afterwards but god what do you say!!#he said he found the gig helpful anyway. Supportive. So that's good.#I'm gonna see if I can find his friends band and share some of their songs#Me Fein
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frankly, the people whose kneejerk reaction to bisan asking for a global strike form the 21st-28th is to say that it takes years to organize a general strike are really unhelpful! no one is saying otherwise, but palestine will be a smoking crater if we all wait for years to do anything - bisan is asking us to do something now. Like are we only supposed to do something if we can do it perfectly??? At some point it’s a valid critique about the work that goes into social movement, and at another point I feel like some people are just trying to absolve themselves from not putting any effort into observing a week of economic inaction.
like idk! I get it, okay! People have bills to pay that don’t magically go away for a strike, we don’t have nearly enough social infrastructure in place to support people to fully stop going to work for a week. But fuck, dude! Stop immediately responding in such a defeatist way! Cut out unnecessary purchases! Try to shop local! Put more effort into promoting Palestinian voices online! Attend a protest, call a local rep, do something!
#like am I going insane#why did I see a post with thousands of notes on it talking about how it doesn’t make sense to be asking for this sort of action#it doesn’t make SENSE?#like god! I hope you’re taking other more sensible courses of action then!#fucks sake man#bisan is living through a waking nightmare and some of you are so pedantic and miserly#palestine#free Palestine
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@strangeravatar made a great point
i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make
but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do
ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad
#conclusion: if one of them smokes weed they BOTH get high#but it's a baby's metabolism vs a sun god's so if CELESTIA is zooted spike is DEAD#i also like to imagine rainbow dash becomes quite the philosopher while under the influence#and yes their bong IS zecoras potion bottle from season 4 episode 1/2 thanks for asking#anyways#this is a long ass comic with. minimal payoff. but we're POSTING IT ANYWAY BABES#i couldnt decide if it would be funnier to have zephyr breeze at the end or one of those regular white blue-haired blue-eyed stock guards#i left it as zephyr. the real ones get it#i guess the real ones are everybody who saw season 9 episode 4#but cmon why ELSE do you think celestia would hire that guy#it's cause she's a freak and im calling her out on my tumblr dot com#mlp#mlp fim#mlp friendship is magic#mlp g4#mlp fanart#princess celestia#princess luna#rainbow dash#fluttershy#spike the dragon#zephyr breeze#horse comic#me art#also that font is one i made based off my own handwriting!! im so happy about it#though it does look. exactly like comic sans#idk how to feel about that tbh#wow you can just talk to yourself in the tags forever and no one will even know huh
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#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point#the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous#like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but#i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it#its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you#god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt#fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs#im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go#ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way.#anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen
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