#talking to Sam makes it easier and a bit more linear

[ildivine]

it is hard to understand to accept my own company without anyone else to distract me.

Sam helped me this morning to sort out job things as my mind kept drifting and I felt like I couldn’t focus on anything for more than a few seconds. I was exhausted; I stopped taking my medications including my sleep meds, and I was sleeping wonderfully, and dreaming so well. I woke up still so tired, so cold from leaving the window open, and he reminded me that it would still be good to do even if I don’t get the job.

I think I will genuinely enjoy any work I can manage to get, no matter how much I complain. I am just frustrated and weathered from being underpaid and underfed, like anyone else in my position, and it comes out in ugly ways. Between him and Gordon I feel like I’ll be able to emotionally adjust fine without my medication, and I always have my anxiety medications on hand if I need ‘em. Or, as Conny calls em, relaxation medication. 🌊🌴🌅  Ze really helps us look at things in a less dark and shrouded way, and I love zem a lot. I hope i can take us all to the biopark, garden, and aquarium this weekend. i really do deserve to relax and i’m still learning how to, do that.

[compo67]

Z and I talk every day. He's seeing not seeing someone right now, and the vagueness of it all makes him incredibly nervous.

We went through the red flags one by one. I had a similar situation last August, and shared what I learned the hard way. I spent too much time and effort on someone who ultimately didn't matter. But. I do believe that negative experiences teach us something. It's just not always so clear cut. I found myself surprised by what I said to Z, it sounded... healthy. Like, wow, look at me, look at what I've learned since August and since IOP.

I'm a bit surprised by processing stuff that happened in August, considering all of what happened since then, but I guess you don't choose when you heal from things. Healing is not linear.

These are also things I wish I would've taken to heart much earlier in life. I suppose that's another part of it. You don't get to choose when or how you learn healthy patterns of behavior.

I used to think it was okay if someone sent mixed signals. Like sure, work through your feelings. But when it happens at my expense and their convenience, then it's not really in service of me.

I also keep thinking back to a quote I recently found on here about being aggressively desired. There's so much more to enjoy when both folks are on the same page. Doesn't always happen, but when it does, it's joyous. And these feelings, I think, need to inspire joy and excitement. I notice I'm happier when communication is there and the emotions match, instead of going back and forth.

It's okay to want to be wanted. It's okay to recognize someone as being not the best fit, then moving on. Maybe then I've spared myself further hurt and heartache down the line.

Anyway. It was productive to work through these things with Z and in fic. It's nice to share what I've learned through Dean, since I think he'd be proud of himself, too. Sam certainly is.

Once you know what to look for, it gets easier to follow through.

[kimabutch]

I'm so sorry if you've gotten a similar question but just out of curiosity: What are your favorite things about each of the M9? (It can be just the first thing to come to mind, I just really like hearing your takes on them)

Oh thank you, that’s such a compliment!! Ok, going in alphabetical order (and excluding Molly not because I don’t love him, but because I feel like I don’t have a great handle on his personality anymore):

Beau:

Oh god I love her so much, it’s hard to even know where to begin! Maybe with the fact that Marisha might have my favourite sense of humour of all the cast. Beau makes me burst out in laughter at least once per episode. 

I love her strong instincts to help others — it’s been there from the beginning, with her attempts to stop the circus people from getting arrested, or her tucking in Jester. I feel like her decision to be a better person was a turning point not so much in her care for others, but in how much she admitted that to herself.

That being said, she’s tried so hard to keep that promise to herself, and to keep being better. She tries so hard to be more social. She tries so hard to treat her friends with tenderness that’s never been shown to her. She tries to hard to be an expositor, and to be patient, and to investigate shit. She tries so hard not to lie, and to be more emotionally vulnerable. And she’s succeeding! I’m so proud of her. 

I love that she’s a gnc lesbian, and that this is a big part of her story, and important. I literally cannot tell you how much it means to me that she’s a lesbian. 

Caduceus

Cad has been such a calming, loving presence in the show since his arrival in e28, but most of all I love his cracks — the times when he’s not as “good” as he first appears.

I love that he’s so incredibly judgmental, and has such strong opinions even though he initially appears quite humble and mild. It’s such a cool character choice, and 100% makes sense.

He also genuinely has no idea what he’s doing so much of the time, and I think that’s very cool and relatable of him. 

I really respect how much Taliesin has developed him since his initial creation. Tal has talked a bunch about how much lore he’s made for Cad since that one weekend where he created him, and I think it really shows in the way he’s played him. Having caught up about 5 episodes after he was introduced, I feel like I’ve gotten the chance to watch him being fleshed out in real time. 

Caleb:

Liam has said this too, but I love how even though Caleb is a serious, tragic character in many ways, he can be as much the source of gags as anyone else. He’s hilarious, and you can see his sense of humour shining through even when Caleb is trying his best not to show it.

I like that his story is one of healing. Not necessarily clear, linear healing, but gradual, realistic progress. Even if he “breaks” again — and he might — there have been times when he’s laughed with friends, times where he’s gone a little easier on himself, and times when he’s let other people help. There’s no taking that away, no matter what happens later. 

Despite the last two bullet points, I’ll admit that part of the reason I started listening to CR was for the angst, and boy has he delivered. Sometimes you need sad characters, y’know?

But beyond angst, I’m so glad Liam is playing Caleb with a sensitivity to how trauma works and consideration of real-life mental illness. I don’t relate to Caleb’s story, but I see parts of my own mental illness experiences in him, portrayed in a genuinely thoughtful way. 

Fjord:

Ok so I relate a lot to Fjord and it’s very difficult for me to talk about him without talking about myself 

With that being said: I appreciate that as a character, a lot of his issues stem from him being bullied as a kid. I’ve said it before, but it really helps me when I feel ashamed of being so affected by childhood bullying

I love that he’s simultaneously charismatic/smooth and nervous/awkward, and somehow those two things are both believable and don’t negate each other at all. He can be a bit of a disaster of a person, and yet people will believe what he says. 

I fucking adore warlocks. The first character I ever played was a warlock and they’ll probably always be my #1 spellcasting class.

Jester:

I love how dedicated Laura is with her Jester pranks. Both how she roleplays them even when there might be serious consequences because that’s what Jester would do, but also how they can turn into really cool moments that drive Jester’s character arc forward — from her Bahamut prank to “get out of my temple!”

Every time she cries or is sad, I feel my soul trying to leave my body and enter Exandria through my screen so that I can give her a hug. Laura plays the chinks in Jester’s well-crafted happy armour so well.

Combat clerics are so, so much fun, and so is the entire concept of the Traveler, and Jester’s relationship to him. It’s really different than a lot of clerics I’ve seen. 

Out of all the characters, I am maybe most interested in finding out where Jester’s character development is going. I feel like there’s still a giant dam to break, and I don’t now how it will happen or what it will look like. I think she’s already changed so much in how she thinks about the world and relates to others, but it’s clear that she’s not yet at peace. 

Nott:

It took me a solid dozen episodes to warm up to her voice and now it’s one of my favourite parts of campaign 2. Particularly when she screams. 

Ditto what I said about Fjord and childhood bullying — her backstory is so important to me. Also ditto what I said about Caleb and mental illness: Sam has clearly given a lot of thought to how trauma has shaped Nott, and I’m so glad that her journey through mental illness isn’t straightforward. 

Like with Jester, I find her to be a very cool take on her class, as a rogue who’s terrified to take the lead and who, despite her sneakiness, is among the most willing to use her own body as a distraction to save her friends. I also love the trope-defying fact that she’s a mom. 

I love that she has all of 5 CHA and tells the worst lies, but pulled a lying long con for 49 episodes, both on the M9 and on viewers… but somehow, it still felt realistic that she’d be able to pull that off, because Nott’s deception wasn’t based so much in outright lies about her backstory (she definitely did lie, but many of the lies contradicted each other or fell apart on close examination), but on evasion, her speciality as a rogue. 

Yasha:

She’s soft! She’s so soft! She’s tender and quiet and loves the beautiful things in life, and for me it’s not just about the contrast between her toughness and her softness (although I do appreciate that, especially as someone who’s been told they’re intimidating, both online and irl), but also about how genuine it is: you can feel it in the way she talks and how Ashley moves when she plays her. 

She is awkward as hell, and it’s so good. Yasha’s dialogue, both with NPCs and with other PCs, is consistently some of the funniest stuff in the show. Ashley really lets that 7 CHA, 9 WIS shine through in all its glory. 

I think her backstory reveal was the first time I bawled while watching CR, but it was fun because of the rising anticipation as she revealed that she’s a wlw. 

Her rage is so interesting! Every barbarian so far in the show (Grog, Lionel, Yasha) has played rage slightly differently, and I appreciate them all — but I think there’s something special about how rage is so clearly emotionally fraught for Yasha. I hope and believe that they’ll explore this more after she’s saved from Obann. 

[conversationswithcole]

I Drank the Kool-Aid

Alright folks, so I have been wanting to document my newest fitness journey for a little while now, but I didn’t want to jump the gun considering I am still VERY new. 

For those of you who don’t know, I drank the damn kool-aid. I joined a Crossfit gym. Crossfit has always been something that I have deeply desired to try but was too nervous to step out of my comfort zone on my own to do it. Last year my rugby team started winter training at local Crossfit gym and unfortunately due to my work schedule I was unable to participate. I was super bummed because I thought that was my perfect opportunity to try it out without all the awkwardness and anxiety that would follow. In the meantime I joined your regular Blink fitness and continued to lift as I had been for the past few years. Fast forward to the pandemic when gyms closed and I partially trained for a half marathon until I gave up. At the time I wasn’t really doing any exercising for about three months besides an occasional run here and there.

I vividly remember going to Maine with Vincent at the end of July and how horribly uncomfortable I was feeling with my body. I was so insecure, anxious and irritable and it was hard for it not to effect my trip. After recently going out for dinner and drinks with some teammates, who were all signed up at the same Crossfit gym, I had decided it was finally time for me to give it a shot. I remember telling Sam that I wanted to take my first class and how nervous I was to show up. I got there early, which is very unlike me because if you know me you know that I am literally always late to everything because of who I am as a person. I sat in my car in full panic mode until Sam and Chelsea arrived and I wouldn’t walk in without them. I met my coach and he was super friendly which made things a bit easier but then he proceeded to literally torture me in the form of exercise. I couldn’t even perform the entire workout, I took ten thousands breaks and actually felt like I was dying. I will NEVER forget my first class. It was the biggest ego check I have ever had in my entire life. I signed up for a part time monthly membership right after. 

It took me a few weeks to get comfortable with going to classes that my teammates weren’t in. Crossfit is intimidating as hell. You should see the babes at my gym. They’re so fucking bad-ass it’s hard not to be intimidated by their strength. It was about three weeks after my first class that I decided I wanted to sign up for an unlimited membership. 

I instantly fell in love with the entire sport. In our current world rugby is non-existent and that’s a huge piece of my life that’s missing. There are so many similarities between the two that make me understand why people who love Crossfit, love Crossfit. 

One of the most special pieces of rugby is the weaving of competition and sportsmanship. In Crossfit, the athletes perform with that same mindset. Everyone wants to be the fastest, strongest, finishes with the most reps in the AMRAP WOD athlete at the gym when it comes time for class. But the second they finish their last rep, before they can even catch their breath, they become your personal cheering squad. They won’t stop until you’re finished and they push you to get it done even when you don’t want too. They’re always there to encourage you, pat you on the back even when you fail and to offer their share of advice and knowledge. It’s an incredible feeling to be surrounded by so many supportive and uplifting individuals in an environment that is so challenging both mentally and physically. 

I have always grappled with the unhealthy habit of comparing my performance to the performance of someone better than me. And even though between the coaches and athletes at my gym there are always people rooting for me, it’s hard not to look around and feel inadequate sometimes. Similar to most feats in life, in Crossfit what goes on in your mind determines how you perform physically. There are days where the last thing I wanted to do was show up to class and by the end of the workout I was riding this post WOD high that made me feel invincible. Then in contrast to that there are other days where I can’t wait to step foot into my little box and I struggle to get through the workout. At times I lack the ability to get my mind to come to grips with the fact that success is not and never will be linear. I don’t give myself enough credit and forget to acknowledge the fact that I am literally brand spankin’ new to this sport and four months is NOTHING. My brain thrives on constant reassurance, ask my coach Mike he can attest to that. I am so obsessive with executing each movement perfectly that I ask ten thousand questions even if I know what the answer is and I get anxious when I start to doubt my performance. I even get so nervous about staying after class to do extra skill work that I can only do it when Shannon is around to take me under her wing. It’s incredibly frustrating and even though I am able to recognize these that these obsessive, lack of self confidence thoughts are inside my head, it’s sometimes too difficult to rid myself of them.

Despite all of this, if we were to look back on my first month to now, I have made some serious progress. Each day brings a new challenge, a new goal and a new lesson. Like rugby, there is always room to learn and improve. One of the main reasons I love Crossfit is because it pushes me to do things I would have normally deemed impossible for myself. There was a time in my life where rugby was considered impossible in my life, and now here I am ten years later a co-founder of Long Island Women’s Rugby. On my best days at the gym I feel that same sense of empowerment, confidence and straight up bad bitch vibes that I get from being a female rugby player. 

Another huge piece of rugby is the community that you become a part of after joining. I have seen many marriages, families, and life long friendships form between members of the rugby community. My life and who I am as a woman today is because of the people I met through rugby. I see that same sense of camaraderie at my gym. It’s funny because my 63 year old mother doesn’t really understand what I mean when I say I’m going to the gym. I’ll be gone for three hours and she thinks I’m at your average LA Fitness with a bunch of strangers lifting weights. One day she literally called me to see if everything was okay because I was there for so long. I have met so many people in such a short amount of time that I consider my friends. I genuinely enjoy their company and the more time that goes on and the more I get to know everyone the more I want to continue to come back. It is so important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good. You can do Crossfit anywhere, but part of the reason why I love it so much is because of my gym and the people in it. 

It’s funny because as I reflect on my Crossfit journey I am reminded of my freshman year of rugby. When my roommate at the time, (now currently my best friend of 10 years), wanted us to join rugby I was too damn scared to get out of the car when we pulled up to practice. I made her lead the way and do all the talking while I stood there in silence. Who I was when I joined was completely different than the girl I was when I graduated. Freshman year of college was hard for me. I was homesick and I wasn’t sure being so far away from my family was what I wanted. I actually applied to schools on Long Island and was ready to transfer back home but there was something holding me back. Sure I could go home and play rugby for another school with a brand new team but something about that just didn’t feel right to me. I get that same feeling when I think about moving away from Black Bear. 

2020 has been one hell of a freakin’ year, and as I sit here writing this I am in quarantine for the second time this month after my third exposure to the virus. December is really kicking my ass. Between the holidays, and losing my job and starting a new one and all this exposure to Covid I’ve barely been to the gym this month and it’s crazy to see how much that has affected me in my everyday life. If there is one thing I am most thankful for this past year, it is Black Bear. 

[blackmissfrizzle]

Unveiled

Summary: They boys find out about the reader’s true lineage. Based on episodes 2x21 & 22

Characters: Dean Winchester x black!reader

A/N: So, I’m basically doing a series rewrite of my favorite episodes. This is is based on the the reader’s and Dean’s relationship through the years. Its based on A Match Made in Hell Series.  I’m not doing this in a linear order, but I’ll make a separate masterlist for this series and put the fics in order

One minute you were in a diner with Sam, grabbing Dean a pie and the next you and Sam were in some ghost town with the other psychics like Sam. Most of them were freaking out and getting on your nerves. One even died because of her stupidity. She tried leaving and a demon killed her for it. Now you were stuck with Ava, the girl who had similar powers to Sam and been missing for weeks; Jake, the super strong dude; and Andy, the pothead who could control people with his mind.  

Finally, you were able to find a house and set up camp there. To make it easier, you and Sam decided to switch off on keeping watch. So, while he and Jake were on the lookout, you took a little nap.

“Wake up, sleepy head.” You heard. Opening your eyes, you saw yellow eyes staring back at you. Immediately, you called for Sam, but when he didn’t come running to help.

“This is a dream, isn’t it?” You asked. Your dad would do this all the time with you. He knew if he talked to you in person you would attack him, so visiting you in your dreams was the safest option.

Yellow Eyes or Azazel as you knew him outstretched his hand to help you get up, but you slap it instead and got up on your own. “Oh, look at Ms. Independent.”

“What do you want Azazel?”

“Uncle Azazel,” he corrected you.

“I’m not calling you that.” You brushed past him, going outside for some much-needed air.

Azazel followed you outside mumbling about how disrespectful this new generation is. “How’s our boy, Sammy doing?”

Giving him the evil eye, you replied, “Fine, despite being kidnapped!”

“Kidnapped? Sweetheart, this is a competition!”

“For what?”

Yellow Eyes turned to dramatically and waved some jazz hands. “For the best and brightest soldier!” He continued to tell you that he just needed one of these psychic kids to lead his demon army not multiple like you and the boys thought. And to top it off, he was rooting for Sam. The demon went as far as killing sweet Jessica because Sam was getting soft.

“Okay, only the strongest win. You know if I really wanted to, I could kill all of them, so what am I doing here?” To you it made no sense for you to be there. Sam and the others may have demon blood in them, but you were half-demon and much more powerful.

“My sweet girl, you’re not here to compete. You’ll work with the winner. That’s why I’m going for Sam. You two are a well-oiled machine. Both of you have the brains and the brawn.” In the middle of cussing him out, Sam woke you up, telling you that Ava was missing.

Eventually, her screams alerted you and you and Sam found a dead Andy, but something wasn’t right. Why did Ava go out of the house? Why was the salt line by the window broken?

Ava tried her white woman tears, but they weren’t working on you and Sam. Soon, as she stopped the fake crying, she admitted everything. She wasn’t missing for 5 months; she was here the whole time killing others. What a fucking psycho!

Jake snapped her neck just as she was conjuring a demon to kill you and Sam. But now he was tripping as well. Azazel got to him and told him only one of them could get out and for some strange reason, he believed he was the one.

“Listen dumbass, Yellow Eyes is not to be trusted. Come with me and Sam, and all three of us can kill him!” Behind you Sam put his knife on the ground as a sign of good faith and never in your life had you wanted to slap Sam silly before this. In your gut, you knew you couldn’t trust Jake and here goes Sam being all kind-hearted. “Sam, don’t,” you cautioned him.

“Its all good, Y/N/N. Look,” he pointed to a Jake putting down his own weapon. But as fast as he put down the weapon was as fast as he knocked you and Sam across the yard. Damn, that nigga really was strong.

Luckily, for Sam he wasn’t as hurt as you and was able to fight off Jake. You on the other hand got a piece of the broken fence piercing your side.

The fight didn’t sound like it was going too well. Bones were cracking and they weren’t Sam’s. You got up in time to see Sam standing over a knocked out Jake. He had the crowbar in his hand, ready to deliver a fatal blow, but he decided to let him live.

Sam walked to you and let you lean on him even though he was injured as well. “You good, Y/N.”

You lifted your shirt to show him your wound. “It’ll be a bitch to pull out the splinters and I’ll probably need stiches, but other than that I should be good.”

“Sam!!! Y/N!!!!” Dean’s voice called out to you. Sam and you traded looks, and hobbled towards the sound of Dean’s voice.

There he was with Bobby. Both looked ragged, but happy to see you and Sam. “Dean,” Sam said with a sigh of relief.

“Sam, Y/N, look out!” Dean warned, but it was too late. Jake stabbed Sam in the back and by the sound of it, it was fatal.

Surprisingly, Jake didn’t try to fight you. He threw you over shoulder and ran, and in your state and his super strength you couldn’t fight him off.

The last thing you saw was Bobby running after you and behind him your dead best friend being held by his heartbroken brother.

—

My eyes never left the colt since Azazel gave it to Jake. The very moment he said it could kill him, you had to restrain yourself because Azazel threatened to kill Jake’s family. Even if you hated him, you couldn’t endanger his family.

The whole walk to the middle of cemetery was Jake practicing his powers, which he was picking up incredibly fast. Ava was right the learning curve is insane.

Clicking of guns caught your attention when you and Jake reached the crypt. Finally, the cavalry was here.

“Sam,” you questioned. It was impossible for him to be alive…unless Dean did the unthinkable. One look at him and you knew he made a crossroads deal. Fucking idiot! This family doesn’t know when to stop sacrificing themselves for each other.

Being too focused on Sam’s resurrection left you unaware of the conversation going on around you. Jake was prattling on about how Ava was right, but you couldn’t focus once again because your eyes caught the crypt.

Almost instantly you knew what it was. A damn gate to hell and the colt was the key. Luck wasn’t on your side, but when was it ever? Jake forced Ellen to put the gun to the side of your head while he ran to unlock the gate.

“Forget about me! He’s opening a damn hellgate!” Dean and Bobby wrestled the gun out of Ellen’s hands while Sam went after Jake.

Sam was able to kill Jake, but not before the gate opened. Though with Jake dead, you, Bobby, Ellen, and Sam were able to close it.

—

*Dean’s POV*

He’s here and so is the colt. I may be going to hell but imma take that yellow-eyed some of bitch with me.

“I got to thank you. You see, demons can’t resurrect people unless a deal is made. I know- red tape, it’ll make you nuts. Right, Y/N/N?” With a snap of his fingers, Y/N was beside him.

Thing is she didn’t look even one bit afraid and seemed too familiar with the demon. “Thanks to you Dean, I got the perfect pair.”

“What in the hell are you talking about?” I yelled at him. He put his dirty hands on Y/N, who was begging him ‘please don’t.’

“Sweetie, you didn’t tell him?” He asked her, almost as if he cared. “Well, Dean-o, thanks to you I couldn’t have done it without your self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family! But I also, many years ago I have to thank the beautiful conception of a lovely human woman and one of the best damn demons to make this beauty.” His hands framed a Y/N’s face.

The tears on her face confirmed it was true. “You lying bitch!” I couldn’t believe I trusted her.

My thoughts on how Y/N betrayed us overcame and I didn’t notice that Yellow-Eyes was about to kill me, but Y/N stopped him. He slammed her to the ground, before he could incapacitate her further, a soul from hell grabbed him. Not just any soul, dad.

Dad gave me the jump I needed. Yellow-Eyes was distracted enough for me to put a bullet in him. It was finally over; we got the demon that ruined our family. Now I just gotta deal with one more demon bitch.

—

*Reader’s POV*

You were fucked. Dean had to have told Sam the truth about you. You slipped away while they reveled in killing the monster that took away their family.

“Where you going, bitch?” The rage in Dean’s voice made no effort to hide.

“Dean,” Sam tried to reprimand him. He knew in his hearts of hearts that you had a good explanation. Yeah, it hurt that kept a secret and lied, but none of your behavior ever hinted to you being a danger to the brothers.

Lifting your hands in surrender, you turned around to face the boys. “I know you’re pissed, but this is the last time that I will allow you to call me a bitch.” Dean could be mad all he wanted to, but you refused to be disrespected. Especially, when he didn’t know the whole story.

Sam made an effort to get closer to you, but Dean pulled him back, as if you were a danger to him. “Y/N/N, why? Why lie to us?”

“Doesn’t matter why. She still lied.” You tried pleading to Dean with your eyes, but it wasn’t working. His anger blinding him from listening to you. “The only reason, I’m giving you a head start is because you tried to warn us about the gate and helped with Yellow-Eyes. You got to the count of 3 and if you’re still here I’m putting a bullet through you.”

Dean didn’t give empty threats, but you tested him anyway. Standing there firmly until he pulled the trigger of his gun on 3. In the nick of time, you teleported back home before the bullet could pierce you.

In the comfort of your solitude, you broke down and cried, letting a crowd of emotions run through. In a day, you found your best friend alive only for your other friend to make a deal; the hellgate opened releasing a slew of demons; Azazel revealed your secret and died; and probably the most heartbreaking you lost your best friends.

Tags:  @titty-teetee @cocooned-butterfly @nervouspetsonanime @thefaithfulwriter @meishaabae @dannixchristian @blacknthemix @mml232

[skyking91-archive]

meet me in the afterglow || skam

Discord thread featuring: Sky & @samuelburton

When: 9/29/2020

Where: Sam’s apartment

Mentions: @samuelburton

Description: Sky comforts Sam on the anniversary of his parents’ death

Trigger Warnings: death mentions, maybe some self hate 

Sam

today had been rough for sam. the anniversary of his parents death was never easy for him, but this year was especially hard considering everything that going on in his life at the moment. he decided that the best way to get through the day was to spend time with his aunt mary who had always been there for him, even after he'd moved out of her house once he'd graduated. she was always so kind to him and his sister and had raised him from age 11 on. he owed a lot to her and he loved her dearly and he knew he could trust her to keep him from getting too lost in his grief. someone else who sam knew he could count on was his girlfriend and he'd missed her all day. he was looking forward to returning home to her after a long, emotionally taxing day. sky had this ability to make the stress melt away. he felt safe with her and he needed that more than anything. once he opened the door he was greeted by both bowie and kyro who were both excited for him to return home. "hey there," he grinned, dropping to his knees and petting them. they nearly knocked him over with their enthusiasm, licking his face affectionately. he stood when he saw sky, smile widening as his heart fluttered in his chest. "hey you," he said, already feeling better than he had all day.

Sky

Sky had spent the day at Beau’s, which she was now a permanent employee of. The gig with Mat paid well, but it didn’t require all of her time so she had a lot of extra time to devote to something else. Dance, of course, was one of her biggest passions — even before singing and acting — so she loved spending her time there and teaching. She knew things would get a bit more hectic once rehearsals for Rent began, but right now she had a lot of free time which meant giving more of her energy to her boyfriend. Her real boyfriend. Mat wasnt even really a friend. She was just someone she was forced to work with, and while she was thankful for the paycheck, park of her wished that she could give it all up to brag about Sam. And Sam...she knew he was having a bad day. She knew what this day was to him and she wanted to be there for him. She tried to give him as much space as possible but wanted to check in with him at the same time? She wasn’t quite sure how to properly go about it. He seemed happy though when she offered to meet him at his place. When she heard the dogs bark, she was already naked under her robe. She greeted him with a glass of wine and an affectionate kiss in this lips. “Hi baby.” She cooed, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him in. “How are you doing? Be honest.” She asked, gazing up at him with concern. She knew feelings was a hard topic for him, but she still wanted to offer him an a chance to talk if that was walk he needed. “I poured wine.” She told him, tugging him over towards the living room where two glasses on wine were waiting for them on the coffee table.

Sam

sam sighed happily when sky wrapped her arms around his neck. his hands settled on the small of her back as he kissed her. he’d only half expected her to actually be naked when he arrived at home and seeing her standing there in her robe had him biting his lower lip as he looked down at her, pulling her body in closer against his. he leaned foreword, pressing his forehead against hers as they held each other. “it was hard. but a lot better now that i’m here with you,” he told her, leaning in to give her another quick kiss before she pulled away to lead him to the couch. he sat down heavily, leaning his head against the back of the couch as he reached out for his girlfriend to pull her into his lap. he’d had a long day and he wanted nothing more than to be close to her.

Sky

This embrace felt so intense and it made her heart swell. How had she ever lived without him before? She could stay in his arms all day, but she wanted to snuggle up next to him on the couch first. And she wanted to check in with him, and hear about his day. or just hear whatever he wanted to get off of his chest. Sky didn't know what it was like to miss two parents. She still didn't know much about her birth parents and she had been with some less than stellar foster parents while she was in the system. Sam, Tommy, Jess and some of her other friends in Kingsboro were the closest thing she had ever had to a stable family. "okay. Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked, hopefully. She just wanted him to know that he had the option if he wanted to. She squealed a little when he pulled her in. She straddled his lap and sat down on him to face him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and gave him a kiss on the temple.

Sam

sam reached up to touch her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek bone. “i guess i thought it would get easier with time, you know? that maybe i won’t miss them as much or maybe it won’t be as painful.” sam dropped his hand. seeing his aunt had been good but it was hard to think of anything but the accident the whole time he was with her. he needed a distraction. he reached for sky again, pulling her down to kiss him, his mouth urgent on hers. eventually he was going to have to face his problems instead of desperately seeking relief in others. but with everything going on, it was so much easier to block everything out and just try to exist from one moment to the next.

Sky09/30/2020

Sky closed her eyes briefly just to feel his touch on her face, humming softly. She opened her eyes as he spoke, stroking his hair in an attempt to comfort him. "Yeah..." She mumbled, encouraging him to continue. There had been a lot of things in Sky's life that had gotten better with time and there were a lot of things that didn't. She feared that this would be something that didn't get better with time for Sam. Sky's heart fluttered as he reached over for her to pull her into a deep kiss. "Mmm...Sam." She mumbled between kisses. "Babe.." She began, pulling away from him slight even though she didn't want to. She just felt like there was more he needed to talk about. At least - she wanted him to open up to her. "Are you okay? You can talk to me." She assured him, stroking his arm.

Sam

when sky pulled away sam needed a moment to catch his breath. he knew she wanted him to be open with her, honest. she wanted to be there for him. sam had been running from this for so long he wasn’t sure he even knew how to talk about it. he pulled sky close to him again, though this time he ducked his head against her shoulder and just held her for a moment. after a brief silence he spoke. “it’s been nearly 15 years... i don’t know why it effects me like this...” sam generally tended to shut down every year around this time or act very recklessly. this year had been no different. he thought back to the night he’d called eevee to come get him when he’d gotten so drunk he’d gotten lost. sky hadn’t been around for an anniversary yet and while sam was grateful she was here, he didn’t want to scare her. he knew that was foolish, but he hated having to lean on people so much. “do you think something’s wrong with me?” he asked, his voice small.

Sky

Sky just held her boyfriend in her shoulder. Her grasp was strong. Part of her thought that the harder she held onto him the more he would lean on her — be comforted by her. That was probably ridiculous and totally not true, but she would try anyway.“Baby, everyone heals differently. And healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it feels like you’re doing okay, then suddenly you take two steps back. But that’s okay. It’s a process.” She told him, echoing the words of her own therapist. She wasn’t his therapist, but  she just wanted to give him some type of comfort. His next words made her heart sink to her stomach. “Sam.” Her hands moved to cup either side of his face, and she moved his head to look into his blue eyes. “There is nothing wrong with you.” She assured him. The fact that Sam with feeling this way genuinely made her heart physically hurt.

Sam

sky’s words were comforting. he knew she was right but it was easy to get down on himself when he didn’t have someone to talk to. and he so rarely talked about it. he left out a calming breath, looking up at her with sad eyes. he was so glad she was there. he could tell that it broke her heart to see him like this and he hated making her feel that way. but he was so glad he had someone in his life that he could open up to like this again without fear of them running in the other direction. he knew that sky had a difficult childhood and while she’s told him parts, he knew he didn’t know the whole truth. he hoped that in time they could know everything about the other. sam knew that he would be there to support sky and she him. he reached up to touch her face, smiling at her lovingly. “i’m so lucky to have you in my life,” he said, stroking his girlfriend’s cheek. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.” he looked away from her then as a darker truth settled over him. “i don’t know that i’d still be here without you.” sky really had saved him the night she found him in the alleyway in more ways than one. she’d truly seen him at his lowest point and had picked him up and quite literally helped him walk again. his eyes returned to hers again. “i love you so much.”

Sky

Bedsides her therapist, Sam was probably the only other person who knew the most about her traumatic childhood. She’d probably never share the whole truth with him, fearing that he’d look at her differently after knowing all of the shit she went through. She’d spare him. He didn’t need to know all of the gory details anyway. However, she knew deep down that if one day she really wanted to tell him what happened to her, she could. If they were going to be partners, he deserved to know the truth. She’d save that for another time though. Some time way down the line. She wasn’t ready for that herself yet. “Mmm.” She hummed contently at his touch. Her smile faded at his next words. She didn’t like that sound of that. And she didn’t like the idea either. Sam had so much to live for. So many people loved and cared for him, and would be upset if something were to happen to him. “That’s not true.” She shook her head and forced a smile, letting a few moments of silence slip past them. “You, Sammy Burton, are incredibly resilient. And strong. You’d be here. I know you would.” She told him confidently after he had turned to face her again. “I love you too.” Her smile was now genuine. She traced his cheekbones with the fat of her thumb and sighed. “I could get naked for you now like I promised.” She smirked, raising her brow. She had really been in the mood since laying her eyes on him, but just wanted to make sure he was okay before jumping his bones. Fuck. He was so sexy even when he was sad.

Sam

there was a brief period of time where sam had feared things may have gone too far considering how reckless he'd been acting. while he may have been able to make it through on his own, without sky he'd be a lot worse for wear. he wanted to believe what she was saying and he thought that maybe he could, but after the day he had he was still a little fragile and a little unsure. again, he was glad that sky was here to get him through. "thank you," he murmured. her touch was comforting and sam felt himself closing his eyes as he leaned into it. he smiled at her next comment, chuckling softly. he tugged lightly at the rope bely securing her robe loosening it around her waist. he smirked, eyes still closed, feigning innocence as he continued to loosen the cincture to expose the skin hidden by her robe.

Sky

Now it was time for the good stuff. Sky wanted to jump his fucking bones from the minute he walked through the door, but she didn’t want to see like a sex-crazed fiend. even though she totally was but only when it came to Sam.  “Don’t be shy, baby.” She teased him, giggling. Sky smirked down at him before helping him take off the silk robe completely. Tossing the robe carelessly to the floor, she let her boyfriend look at her for a few brief second before starting in on his neck gently, humming on his skin contently.

Sam

sky was the most beautiful woman sam had ever laid eyes on. that was regardless of whether she was clothed or not, but in this moment, he couldn’t help but marvel at just how beautiful she was naked in his lap. today had been rough, and even though he should probably be taking his time to process everything that had happened and talk things out, it was such a comfort to just let go of everything and let sky comfort him — however she saw fit. and he’d talked some things out, let sky in, and honestly he was feeling better than he had all day. and sam was just so tired of being weighed down by everything. and so he indulged, like he often did when things got hard, choosing to brush some less than savory thoughts under the rug in favor of an evening of bliss. and sky’s lips felt so good on his neck and her body felt so good pressed against his and he really just wanted to focus on this and nothing else. his hands settled on her waist, before one snaked up her bare back and tangling itself in sky’s hair, tugging lightly as his head rolled back on his shoulders to give her better access as she continued to kiss him there. he sighed contently, letting the weight slip away from his shoulders, even if only for a moment. sam was at peace.

[tracle0]

TIME TO TALK ABOUT SUS

This time, by ‘sus’ I mean Glalis. I’ve done posts like this twice before, one about the masks in Glalis and the other one about the radio station in Sonder which you can check out if you want. 

'Hey Trade what even is Glalis it sounds like a made-up word’ well you’re correct, it is. But aren’t most town names made-up words? 

Glalis is an underground town, situated under Sonder. Sonder looks like this: 

And Glalis is underneath that, up until the bit labelled ‘farming area’. It’s bigger than Sonder, obviously, and a hell of a lot darker. Because... underground. 

‘Oh hey that’s neat and all but uh why are they underground if there’s a liveable island right there’ this goes into history buckle up kiddos. 

Glalis was founded in the 13th century. Know what else was happening in the 13th century? There was some climate change, some soil exhaustion, minor things. More importantly, the Bubonic Plague was destroying Europe. This includes England, where Sonder is set. 

Some people - the founders of Glalis - did not like having this disease, so (after checking they were all clean and good and not going to infect the others) they up and left their town, trying to find another new clean place to live. 

Fun little fact - people in those days used to believe that diseases were carried via bad smells, hence in the nursery rhyme ‘ring a ring a roses’ there’s ‘a pocket full of posies’. Glalis founders were no different and were looking out for strong but sweet smells to overpower the stench of disease. 

O hey this cavern down here has a bunch of glowing blue mushrooms that - woah, they smell really really sweet heck man let’s just set up camp down here. 

So they did. And that’s how the grand little underground town of Glalis was born. 

These glowing blue mushrooms are deadly - their spores, if you breathe them in, grow in your throat and suffocate you. But the spores are too heavy to be efficiently airborne, so you literally have to stand next to them and breathe heavily to be infected. They’re harmless as long as you’re wise about them. So they still grow there to this day, carefully sanctioned off and controlled. 

Until I decide on an actual entrance, please assume this image from Undertale is the entrance to Glalis because art is dead and I’m not original sometimes.

‘They’ve only been underground since the 1300s? But you said that they have white hair, evolution doesn’t happen that quickly’ oh hey cool you read my comic sans powerpoint that’s very cool of you. You’re correct in all aspects of that: if they progressed through time like all of us, I don’t know how quickly they’d get white hair. 

Good news for me, Glalis (and by default, Sonder) does not follow linear time. The way I described it is that they’re stuck in a bubble, which bounces through time (and space, but only in the UK, primarily England. It did show up once in Ireland, actually, but let’s just assume England). One day it could touch down in the 1400′s, the next in 2200. As long as there’s land to... land on, it could appear anywhere. And no, the land does not need to encompass where Sonder/Glalis would fit. It could appear on the little patch of grass outside your house. Space is weird.

As a result of the time issue, Glalis citizens could have been underground for thousands of lifetimes already, so I’d say the white hair has reason to be there and it’s not just me making up reasons for my antagonist to have white hair because I couldn’t decide on a hair colour. 

‘Alright, whatever you weeb. You said Glalis was founded in the 1300′s - what about Sonder?’ wow, you’re really asking good questions today, reader, thank you, you make my job easier. 

Sonder came later, in the late 1800s - the era of the Industrial Revolution and stuff. These kids were escaping the horrific working conditions (a bunch of those damn proletariate) and happened to stumble upon Sonder. They went ‘ehhh alright’ and set up shop. 

Obviously, outside time means nothing to Sonder, so maybe they’ve been there for thousands of years - but they arrived after Glalis citizens had started to commonly have white hair. 

It still took about six (nonlinear) months for Glalis and Sonder to first have contact, which was instigated while a party of Sonder people was setting up a farming location and a party of Glalis people were going above ground to harvest some of their crops. It was a big !!!!! fest, but eventually, the two towns sat down and talked through things. 

One major thing they decided on quite early on was the splitting of food. Sonder would grow crops above ground because they enjoyed it and weren’t scared of the germs of the open air and also they had sunshine which is kinda needed for crop growth, and Glalis would rear animals (adding the animals that Sonder bought with them), as there’s a lot more room underground for the animals, and although they like it, animals don’t need sunlight to survive. They would share the food between the two populations, as organised by Sonder. So if one town underperformed in terms of producing food, they’d still get the same amount as the other town, and both would go sort of hungry for a year but wouldn’t starve. 

‘Wow you put a lot of thought into that Trade - why?’ 

Sonder is a big meanie sometimes. 

Also, fun fact, Sonder was a perfectly normal start-up town until Glalis made contact with them. They infected Sonder with the Weird, and Sonder did not know how to react so had to learn from Glalis. 

Glalis was very kind and taught them how to survive the Weird, but they also threw in a few pranks. Rain is illegal in Sonder because Glalis said it was dangerous. It’s not dangerous, but Glalis isn’t going to tell them that anytime soon because it’s hilarious. 

‘Well that’s interesting and all - crows? You mentioned crows? I like crows’ I also like crows they are very cool and also very smart. 

Glalis, coming along in the 1300s as an escape from the Bubonic plague, is a town full of superstition. I’m sure one image you all know from the Bubonic plague era is that of the plague doctor: 

What a cool mask. Well! Glalis saw that and went ‘huh that kinda looks like...’

‘Well, we better be nice to them and they’ll protect us from this terrifying plague.’ 

So they did. And crows, being the smart little nuggets they are, recognised that people in this area, and eventually, people with white hair, feed us, so we like them. 

They’re semi-tame to citizens of Glalis at this point. If you’re in Sonder and you hear a crow, there’s probably an underground visitor nearby. Even in more recent years when Glalis has been struggling with food, they still bring a little bit out for the crows each time. 

So yeah - the crows like Glalis people. Or people who feed them. Or both. 

(awh look he’s smiling for once what a happy kid)

‘That’s pretty neat man. You mentioned masks underground - how did they come to be a thing?’ I have two answers for you, but we’ll go for the one that’s relevant to the story. 

Masks are cool. Next question. 

‘Trade you have to answer it you can’t just put stuff in your book for no reason’ I can and I will so don’t try me. 

‘Alright, fine, whatever. You also mentioned ice skating?’ I vaguely mentioned ice skating in this post yes you are right. Ice skating is quite a big thing underground. 

As seen in the map that yes, was painted, and no, I’m not the best painter but it was fun, there’s a big ol’ lake underground. It’s shaped like a whale and that is deliberate. Does it have meaning? No. I just like whales. 

Anyway, underground = cold place. Cold place = water freezes. Water freezing = ice lake. The lake freezing is a hugely anticipated and celebrated event for Glalis, and midwinter is a time of great joy. Meanwhile, Sonder celebrates midsummer as an indication of the harvest about to start.  

As a result of the freezing lake being so crucial to the culture, most people are good at travelling on ice, because, in winter, it’s a lot quicker to travel across the water than going around it. I would say that soldiers even train on ice because if you can win a fight on the ice you’re a lot more likely to win when not on the ice.

It’s never a big deal though dw dw dw it never comes into play within the book, not even once. Nuh-uh. 

‘Okay so Glalis was cut off in the 1300s roughly - I’ve seen pictures of Andy with a gun and also red hoodie? What’s up with that, that’s too modern and also your book is set in England how did he get a gun’ are you referring to this picture 

Yes? Yes. Cool. 

So yes, Glalis/Sonder jump through time. As a result, people from all different time periods have stumbled onto Sonder. Not many, but a few. Mostly they’re deposited back into their own time when they leave. Sometimes they’re not. 

When they do stumble into Sonder, all dangerous items they have are taken away. Mobile phones are included in this list, due to the fact they literally explode when in Sonder. These items are often stored underground because, once again, more room. 

Sonder and Glalis also rarely visit each other. So although Sonder goes ‘hey don’t touch this stuff okay’ and Glalis goes ‘alright’ they still do it and they know they won’t get caught out. So Andy gets a snazzy hoodie. No, that’s not me reaching for an answer because I gave him clothes before I gave him a home, shut up.

Also in regards to the gun - they were banned in 1997, after the 1996 Dunblane school massacre. There’s every chance that the towns popped down before that point and someone wandered in who happened to have a gun. Heck, farmers are still allowed guns in England, the just have to be careful. Maybe it was a more recent find. 

‘Wow you’ve really put a fair bit of thought into this, you nerd. Can we get one for idk Sonder itself?’ no, the summary for Sonder you get is the actual book. Sam - our narrator, the cool kid feeding the crow in one of the above pictures - spends a lot of time in Sonder and not enough time in Glalis. She records everything she finds out. You can find out with her.

Fun fact: I only like crows as much as I do because of this book

Tag last: (holy heck I have one of these now that’s exciting) @joyful-soul-collector

[warlockwriter]

To Lose Thee Were To Lose Myself

Chapter 1/10

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam

Word Count: 1815

Summary:  Sam didn't believe the "new man" speech from Gabriel, but he understood recovery and knew sometimes you just had to put on a brave face. He still struggled with his own recovery journey. Perhaps the two of them could help each other? And gank a few monsters along the way?

A/N:  Begins right after 13x20 and goes canon divergent from there. Title from Paradise Lost by John Milton. Many thanks to @archangelgabriellives for the beta read and a couple of awesome suggestions/additions! Also, my first mood board! Story is complete. I’m just trying the serial approach because I’ve never done it with a fanfic before.

Ao3 Link

Sam had always wanted to try falconry. When he was about 10, he'd seen a special about it on TV. Dean had been out hustling pool--or he'd hoped his brother had only been hustling pool--so Sam had been able to turn off the TV, lie back on the smelly, scratchy motel bedspread, close his eyes and imagine kinship with a bird of prey. The way his bird would perch on his wrist, turning its head at the slightest sound. An untamed predator that would stay with him only until something better came along.

It was only years later that he'd realize the appropriateness of that youthful fantasy.

***

Sam climbed into the Impala, trying to keep his thoughts to himself. He knew Gabriel was only putting on a brave face. And he knew that Gabriel knew that he knew. When exactly had the Winchesters adopted another angel? Was it just now? Or had it been much earlier, when Gabriel had, however briefly, joined them in averting the Apocalypse?

"Sam, call Cas and let him know we've found his brother," Dean said as he drove.

Sam pulled out his phone, but before making the call, he turned to shoot a questioning look at Gabriel.

The archangel shrugged as if it made absolutely no difference to him. Sam didn't believe that any more than he'd believed the "new man" speech, but if Gabriel wasn't going to say anything, he'd make the call.

Cas picked up almost immediately, not even letting Sam speak. "I think there was something wrong with Rowena's spell. There's no sign of my brother here in Amarillo."

"That's because he's with us," Sam said. "And hello to you to, Cas."

He heard a quiet snicker from the back seat, and it relieved him.

Dean shot Sam an amused look, obviously appreciating the snark from his brother.

A pause on the end of the line. "Hello, Sam. Did you say my brother is with you?"

"Hey, baby bro!" Gabriel called from the back seat. Sam pointed the phone to the rear of the car. "Get back here. This bro band doesn't work with only three."

Sam put the phone back to his ear. "That answer it for you, Cas?"

"Yes, Sam. Are you heading back to the bunker?"

"Yeah, we need to get some sleep, and we'll head back in the morning."

"I will see you at the bunker, then. If I start now, I'll be there in about eight hours."

"Okay, see you sometime tomorrow." Sam disconnected.

They drove back to the motel in silence, but it was a mostly comfortable silence.

When they pulled in and parked, Sam got out of the car. He needed to walk for a bit and work through some stuff. As he headed off across the parking lot, Dean called, "Where you off to, Sam?"

The tall hunter waved back vaguely. "Just need to walk for a bit. I'll be back soon."

"Okay," Dean called back.

That was the nice thing about how long they'd been together. There was no need to explain. I need some space was understood to be a thing, and both brothers honored it.

He got to the street, turned left, because, hey, what difference did it make? It wasn't like he had anyplace in particular he had to be. After about a block, he realized he wasn't alone.

"Gabe?"

The angel sped up to walk by Sam's side. "Hope you don't mind. A walk seemed like a good idea. I won't talk if you just want to think."

Sam shook his head. "No, it's fine." Oddly, while he hadn't wanted to talk earlier, with Gabriel here, maybe he did.

He still wasn't quite sure what had him on edge, but there was one thing he'd been wanting to say. "Look, I'm sorry about the handcuffs. I shouldn't have let my brother do that."

Gabriel was walking close enough that Sam felt the shudder go through his small frame. "Yeah. You shouldn't have." His voice sounded more resigned than angry.

"I'll talk to him when I get back. It doesn't excuse it, but he's been on edge what with Mom and Jack. He's not always that big of a dick."

Gabriel shrugged. "Don't put yourself out for my sake."

Again, it was resignation, not anger.

"Hey, Gabe. That's not what it's about. You joined up with us." He waved back in the direction of the motel. "You called it the 'bro band,' and you're right. You're one of us now. As long as you want."

"Doubt your brother will go along with that."

Sam smiled and shook his head. "No, let him get his head a bit more out of his ass, and he'll be fine. These days he just hates sending Cas off by himself."

That generated a bit of interest in Gabriel. "They doing it yet?"

Sam found himself laughing at that. "Not exactly. Don't know how much you know about the Winchester Saga, but Cas died...again...earlier this year. When he came back, Dean apparently decided enough was enough. He kissed Cas, finally kissed him, and, well, I guess they're seeing where it goes. I don't think it's gone all the way yet. There isn't enough soundproofing in the Bunker for me to miss that seminal event."

His wording surprised a chuckle out of the archangel. "Pun not intended?"

"Oh, it was intended."

They continued walking, the mood between them more comfortable now.

After a few minutes, Sam asked, "Can I talk to you about something?"

Gabriel gave him a raised eyebrow. "Guess it depends on the topic."

Sam heard the message clearly. No asking Gabriel anything else about what had happened to him with Asmodeus or about his capture by Loki. Too bad. Sam saw tons of holes in the angel's story, and he would like some of them filled. But he totally got that there were times and places for that.

"It's kind of about me."

Nodding, Gabriel said, "All right. Go."

"Don't know how much you know about what happened after you faked your death with Lucifer. Kudos on that, by the way. I'm glad you didn't die."

"Me too. Uh, as to what I know, that's kind of broad. Care to narrow that a bit?"

Sam took a deep breath. He wanted to talk about this, and it was still hard. "Do you know how we got Lucifer back into the Cage?"

Gabriel nodded. "Oh, that. It happened after I got sold, but I know about it because Asmodeus went on about it a couple of times. Assuming he didn't get it wrong, you said yes and then took Luci’s arrogant ass down into the Cage with you. Nice move. My brother deserved it. You didn't, though."

So he did know that much. That made it a bit easier.

Gabriel continued, "And if you're asking if I know what my big-bag-of-dicks brother did to you while you were down there, yeah, I kind of do. It was in your eyes when you were taking care of me back at the Bunker. Thanks again for that."

Sam nodded. "You're welcome. Sorry for hitting you up to join the team before you were ready."

"You're worried about your mom. Oh, and the world maybe ending again. I get that. But I'm guessing that wasn't what you wanted to talk about."

"No. It's about the Cage. I think you might understand what I went through more than most."

"You mean pain, humiliation, degradation and utter helplessness?" Gabriel's face looked like he had bitten into something sour tasting. "Yeah, I know a bit about that."

"So where do I go from here? I mean, it's been years now, and some days it's still like yesterday. Cas helped some--I doubt you know that part, but I don't want to go into it now."

Gabriel nodded his acceptance of that.

"I feel like I should be over it, but I'm not. Not even close."

Gabriel made a kind of humming noise before saying, "Okay. So, do you think you need to be over it or do other people think that? Like, is Dean telling you, 'Sammy, you oughta be past this by now?'"

Sam wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a hint of and if he is, I'll smite him in the archangel's words.

To head off that line of thought, Sam hastily said, "No, it's not coming from anyone. It's me. I mean, it's been years now. Shouldn't I be past it?"

Gabriel moved his hand in a maybe yes, maybe no motion. "Depends. I'm probably the only angel who might even have a chance of answering this. In my Trickster days I saw a lot of traumatized people, and sometimes, out of curiosity, I went back to see what happened later to the victims of the people I meted out justice to."

"What happened to them? Did you learn anything?" While on the one hand, Sam wasn't entirely comfortable with the reminder of Gabriel's vengeful Trickster days, he couldn't deny that it might give him some insight into his own situation.

"Most of them turned out mostly okay in the end, but what I learned was that the one truth about recovery is that there is no one truth about recovery."

Oh?

Oh!

Sam got it. "So, you're saying there's no set timeline for this."

Gabriel made a shooting motion with one hand. "Bingo. That's exactly what I'm saying. Plus, recovery isn't linear. Come on, Sam, surely you've read about stages of grief and how no one goes through them in a straight line."

Of course Sam had. He'd read lots of books on recovery. He just couldn't see how they applied to him.

Gabriel must have read something in his face because he said, "Of course it all applies to you, Sam. Just because you're a Winchester doesn't make you different from the rest of humanity." The archangel placed a gentle hand on Sam's arm as he spoke.

Sam thought about what he'd said for a minute. "Thank you. I think that actually helps. Obviously, I need to rethink some stuff."

"Glad to have helped."

Sam put his own hand over Gabriel's in a friendly, thank you sort of way. He felt something moving under his hand. Not actual movement, but sort of a spiritual movement? As if that even made sense. Then he thought he got it.

"Hey. You're not kidding about the tank being low. I can kind of feel your grace under your skin, and it's really sluggish." Then his thoughts caught up with his mouth. "And why can I feel your grace anyway?"

Gabriel whipped his hand off of Sam's arm, and after a moment of embarrassed stuttering, turned and fled down the street at a dead run.

Sam watched him go with a look of quiet disbelief. What had he said?

TBC

Tag list: @sageclover61 @snips-snails-skittles @idabbleincrazy

If you want to be added to the tag list for this story, drop me an ask or a message.

[bringmetolife-pwff]

Part 1 : Chapter Nineteen - Moving Out

Evelyn had been looking for a place to live on her own for months now.  She didn't want to buy just to buy or feel pressured to move out of her sisters place.  But she needed her own place to live.  Besides, she hardly saw her sister anymore if she were honest.  Since Vivienne got the job at the hospital she's spent more time there then at home as she was also on-call.  

Vivienne felt bad but Evelyn understood as she also had her own business to work with.  

Evelyn was used to living on her own for so long then she moved in with Liam and she had gotten used to that.  Never in a million years did she believe she would be put in the situation that she was put in.  She saw the death threats that Blair received and the hate comments Liam received after news was broken out that he had been cheating on Evelyn for months.  

Today, Evelyn would not be going into work as she was meeting with her real estate agent.  So far she had shown her six apartments, not loving any of them.  Evelyn decided to wear pants and a light pink peplum blouse as her blonde hair was up in a high bun.  A nude colour painted on her nails as she wore high heels.

Her real estate agent, Michael, was already standing in front of the apartment complex with a smile and some papers in his grasp.  

"Hi Eve, how're you today?" Michael asked.

His hair was short and he was wearing slacks as well as a nice button down shirt.  

"I'm well, thank you.  And you?" she asked politely and shook his hand.

"I'm doing quite well also.  You ready to see this place?"

"Yes," she exclaimed excitedly.

"This one is on the twenty-ninth floor and has two private terraces and access to a thirty-second level sky lounge.  It has three bedrooms and two bathrooms, one being the master bath, in case you have any guests or family members who will be staying with you.  It has a breathtaking view of Central London and a twenty-four hour concierge."

Evelyn nodded her head at the information.

"Couldn't have found a higher apartment room building?" she joked back earning a laugh from Michael.

"It's a lot but they have elevators so that helps," he shrugs his shoulders.

"What's the asking price?" She asked as they rode up the elevator which was playing music.

"2,370,000 euros."

Evelyn nodded her head thinking it wasn't bad.  Yes, it was a lot, especially for an apartment; but money was never an issue to her.  She had made millions from her clothing line alone.  She was no longer relying her father's money to get her places as she had never done that.  They were now in the apartment and she loved how open it was and clean.  But if she didn't absolutely love the apartment.  If she couldn't see herself living here for possibly long-term - then she wouldn't buy it.  

The elevator dinged, opening the doors and Michael allowed Evelyn to walk first.  Michael pulled out the key and unlocked the door allowing Evelyn to walk in.  Eve looked around the place.  It was modern - yet, it still felt like home.  Sometimes Eve felt as though if a place was too modern it seemed cold, unfriendly and a place that she couldn't stand.  This was the exact opposite.  The kitchen was pretty large and inviting being an open kitchen, having a table in the center that was the peninsula that had a white marble countertop with gold and black specks and the table was made of a light brown mahogany wood.  The kitchen cabinets were white and the flooring was wood making it easier in case there was a spill of any kind and had brown leather stools for an eating area.

The living room was large and open as well, having a sectional brown leather sectional couch that was facing right and had linear seating as well as soft backrest cushions to guarantee maximum comfort.  Evelyn loved the apartment and the scenery outside the wide open windows.  She could see herself living here.  It was big but not too big for one person.  There wasn't a telly, but she didn't mind having to buy one.  

"Beautiful view," Evelyn told him as she looked out at the city.  

"Now, the bedrooms," Michael told his client.  "This is the first one," he signaled to Evelyn as he pointed at the room.  It was smaller and cosy for a guest bedroom, which would be perfect for when one of her family members or friends would come to stay with her.  She chose not to have a roommate as she had been let down in the past by not having good roommates.  The ceilings were pretty high for an apartment and Eve loved that.  She didn't like the idea of small ceilings and the fact that she could sometimes feel claustrophobic with them.  

Next, was the bathroom.  There were two.  One was a smaller one in the hallway in between the two bedrooms.  She envisioned one of the bedrooms to be a walk-in closet for all of her clothes, makeup and jewelry.  She loved how she felt in this apartment when Michael gave her the tour.  It wasn't too rich feeling to where it felt cold and lonely.  

"Finally, the master bedroom and bathroom," Michael said after he showed her two other bedrooms and Evelyn let out a content sigh as she saw the room.  There were wide, open windows from top to bottom that gave Evelyn the most beautiful scenic view.  She walked up to the windows and put her hands on the glass as she let out another sigh.

"It's beautiful," she murmured.

Eve loved that the master bedroom wasn't long and narrow like most that she had seen were.  She knew that she was picky but this would be a place that she hoped she would live at for a while.  She didn't want to live just anywhere.  Her dad always taught her when looking for a home or an apartment that it's okay to be picky and if you don't really love it and can't envision yourself living there - don't give it another thought.

"If you think this is beautiful wait until you see the master bathroom," he commented and she was oddly excited about it, following behind him into the large master bathroom.

"Oh wow," Eve said in amazement and wonder as her eyes widened.

Eve was sold on this place.  The master bathroom was quite large, especially for being in an apartment.  It was all white with pearlescent counter tops and two sinks that could almost be a his and hers.  She wouldn't use both of them but the thought was nice touch.  It also had a claw bathtub and a separate area for showers.  

"That's the end of the tour," Michael told her.  "I'll give you some time to decide and take around again if you'd like."

"I don't need time," she shook her head, confident of her answer.  "I'll take it."

She had been in a meeting with Michael for the last hour going over the paperwork that she needed to sign.  Discussing things such as how long the lease is, what was included in the rent, when rent money is due - all of the important questions you should ask before signing a lease.  Evelyn signed the papers and Michael handed the her key to her new apartment.  Evelyn was so excited that she finally found a place that she loved that she could call her own.  This was the place where she would be living for however long she desired.  

As she finished the meeting and signing the papers, she made her way to her car with the biggest smile on her face.  She did a little squeal of excitement and unlocked her car getting her mobile out of her purse.  Frowning, she noticed a missed call with a voice mail.

Shit.  Shit.  Shit.

She knew immediately that it was William.  He was back with the military as it was a month later.  She hit her head against the headrest frustrated with herself that she had her mobile on silent not wanting to be disturbed during the meeting.  Now, she regretted it.  Evelyn knew she wouldn't be able to call that number back. Pressing play on the voice mail, she listened to it.

"Hey Eve, I know you're probably busy," she heard the mobile static sightly due to bad connection but she could still understand him.  "Just wanted to check in to see how you were doing.  I miss you.  Today's been rough," she heard him let out an exhausted sigh.  "I hope its been better for you.  Sorry I missed you.  I don't know when or if the next time I'll be able to talk to you will be."

William and Evelyn had been dating for technically for two months, but if you asked them they had been dating since July, making it four months.  It was now November and Evelyn couldn't believe how fast the year was going.  She loved November especially because it was always one of the rainiest times of the year.  Eve loved everything about the rain and felt it was therapeutic in a way.  

Even though she was happy that she had finally found an apartment for her to live, it came at the expense of missing a phone call from her boyfriend.

***

Evelyn woke up feeling as though her nose was stuffy that morning and her throat hurt to swallow and talk.  She was constantly blowing her nose and felt as though she had used half of the tissues from the kleenex box.  Her hair was up in a messy bun on the top of her head as she sucked on a cough drop after she gargled with salt water.  

She was in no shape to go into work today and left Sam in charge asking her to email her all of the updates.  Thankfully, it wasn't a busy day at the office so she wasn't missing anything.  She had the fall line out and it received loads of praise.  She was still wearing her pyjamas from when she slept the night before but now also had a grey cardigan wrapped around her to keep her warm.

It was a week after she signed the papers to her new apartment and she was officially all moved in.  Evelyn's mobile rang and she tried finding it but having had to have night nyquil for the night due to having a coughing fit - she was filling a bit out of it.  

"Hello," she spoke into her mobile as her voice sounded raspy and she coughed again before finding a cough drop to suck on.

"Oh Eve, you sound miserable," Will spoke into the phone with sympathy in his tone.

"Thanks," she replied sarcastically, laughed and breathed in wrong as she got into a coughing fit again.  After calming down, she spoke.  "How've you been?  I miss you."

"I miss you too, darling," he sighed into the phone.  "I've been alright.  They're having us busy out in the field.  Did you find a place?" he asked wanting to get the attention off of him.

"I did," she exclaims with her voice hoarse.  "It's so beautiful and just peaceful.  I can't wait for you to see it."

"I'm looking forward to seeing it.  I got your parcel," he informed her.  "I loved all the bits and bobs you put in it and I'll make sure I write you back a letter as well."

Eve had sent her boyfriend a care parcel of all his favourite things and some pictures of the two of them that their friends had taken over the months that they had gotten together.  She loved being able to put it together and wrote him a letter as well, even though they were able to talk on the mobile.

"You don't have to," she waved a hand even though he couldn't see her.  "I did it because I wanted you to be able to read it in your down time and that you'll have some part of me even if they are just words on a paper," she laughed lightly, coughing again.

"They aren't though," he frowned at her words knowing that she was only just trying to down play her letter.  "They mean more to me more than you'll ever know."

It was true.  Kate never had done anything like this for him since he had joined the military and had seen the differences between the two.  He would always wish every ounce of happiness towards his ex but what he felt for Eve was different.  Even though it had only been a few months - what he felt for Eve was something more than what he felt for Kate.  He knew that he needed to take it slow with Eve though otherwise if he didn't, he was afraid he might lose her.  He needed to go slow not just for her sake but his as well.

"Is there anything new with you?" Wills asked Eve.

"Well when I get to feeling better, which will hopefully be soon, Chelsy and I talked about taking a holiday to South Africa and show me her hometown."

Over the time that William and Evelyn have been dating, the two women have grown close as well.  The two brothers were grateful for that, knowing that Eve would soon be going through the spotlight soon as the prince's girlfriend and was glad that she would have someone other than Wills to lean on.  Someone outside the Royal family who knew how to handle it and how to act.

"That's fantastic," he exclaimed.  

He was relieved that she was keeping herself busy and wasn't down on herself because he wasn't there.  They both knew that even though they loved being around each other that they also needed space from each other too in order for their relationship to be successful and work.  She needed to be able to have a good head on her shoulders and Wills was thankful that she does, especially before they go public.

[tigerlilynoh]

My Approach to Writing

Every since getting ~350,000 words into Job & Family (my longest Supernatural fanfic), I’ve had a few conversations with people about my techniques and tips for writing.  I recently told another person that I’d share this info with them, but I decided to just post it publicly, on the off chance it’s helpful for anyone else.  

I’m by no means an expert and I’m sure I’m forgetting stuff, but this is my general approach and I credit its methodology with why I haven’t yet had writer’s block.

Non-Linear Writing

I don’t write linearly.  Instead I try to work as much of the story as I can at the same time.  I will try to write content for multiple chapters at once dividing my time 80% to the upcoming chapter and 20% to later content (usually the 2-3 chapters after the upcoming one and/or major events much later in the plot). I do this for three reasons:

It’s easier to avoid writing myself into corners by seeing the logical fallout of a chapter while I’m working on it.

If the upcoming chapter is particularly angsty/violent/etc and I need a mental break, then I can switch away from it yet still be productive.

It helps reduce the workload toward the end of the story. I’d been writing the last four chapters of J&F for over six months by the time those chapters were posted. The fact that they were already significantly written made it less overwhelming to end the story.

On another level of non-linear writing, I will often work on scenes until they are ~90% done, then rearrange their order to form a chapter or multiple chapters. I never write a chapter from front to back.

Also, by jumping around in your writing it turns the writing process into more of a game.  You have points A, C, & E with certain restrictions based on the characters’ natures, themes, etc.  Then all you have to do is solve for points B & D.  I know, easier said than done, but a little structure can make things easier than freeform creativity.

Outlining & Organizing

I outline/organize like a crazy person. Outlines are fucking magic because they make complex stories simple for you to understand and show you all the places where you can tinker. Some of the types of outlines/organizational tools I’ve used are:

Overall plot outline - I definitely recommend this because it’s your roadmap

Fight/smut outlines - if you hate or are scared of writing fights or sex scenes, try outlining the action, then filling it in with the texture.  It makes the process more manageable.

Character arc outlines - against the overall plot outline, mark the major points in a character’s personal struggle/growth. I had one of these for Sam, Dean, Ruby and others in J&F, which helped me make sure a character didn’t languish in their development.

Character prevalence outline - against the overall plot outline, mark which characters are actually in the scenes and to what extent (major, minor, only referenced). I like to assign colors to each character so it’s easy to spot if Bobby is missing for like ten chapters for no good reason.

Scene type outline - against the overall plot outline, mark what types of scenes you’re including. My go to categories are: Fights, Sex, Fluff, Background exposition (backward looking), Tactical planning (forward looking), Internal angst, & Interpersonal.  Again I organize by color for quick reference. By tracking these you’ll see if you’ve maybe gotten super angsty and your readers or characters might need an emotional break, etc.

Distinguishing characteristics table - if you have a lot of characters to keep track of, create a table for their characteristics. Include things like: Strengths, weaknesses, fighting style, fighting weight class, sexual orientation, habits, speech patterns, thing they’ll refuse to do, etc. This’ll help you maybe characters who are otherwise very similar unique.

Knowledge In/Out table - for really complicated plot points I’ll make a table that organizes per scene/chapter all the requisite knowledge the characters must have going into the scene and all the new knowledge (that is necessary for a future plot point) that the character must gain. This is helpful for organizing your foreshadowing.

Timeline vs Outline - if you’re presenting content in a non-chronological fashion, I can’t stress enough the importance of having a timeline of events as distinct from your plot outline.

My basic routine for writing content

Write some basic dialogue - This creates a skeleton for the scene and it reminds you what the hell is happening if you’re bouncing around.

Insert minimal descriptions of actions like “he said”

Write some short paragraphs giving insight into the characters’ thoughts, feelings, motivations.

Add major physical events like the basic structure of a fight, sex scene, or if you really need for character A to end up holding object B.

Add more actions that bridge the gap between dialogue and/or major events.

Write more dialogue that addresses the details of the actions you’ve just created.

Add physical description/setting (I expect most people do this earlier).

Read through what you’ve got so far asking yourself questions like: 

Are the characters acting in character? 

Are the characters acting rationally? 

Are the characters acting in a way that reflects the emotional trauma that they’re going through? 

Am I writing myself into a corner? 

Do I know how I could resolve the conflict that exists in this part of the story?

Do all of the scenes serve a purpose?

Before you start finalizing a scene, ask yourself if you’ve made the content unrealistic in your attempt to make the story easier on yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I rewrote large pieces of story because I was nearly done with a section and thought “But in real life people aren’t this lucky.”

Reread your work in whatever order you want while asking the who, what, where, why, how. And add bits as needed to answer those questions.

Skim the text looking for *** (see below for tip) that need replacing and areas that need segues.

Read through from beginning to end looking for continuity problems and subjects that need more elaboration.

Proofread/final pass.

General Tips

If you’re in the middle of writing and you can’t think of the next sentence, witty retort, paragraph, or how to end the section, just type *** and keep moving. Don’t let yourself get bogged down. That’s a sure fire way to get frustrated and discouraged. Later on you can tackle it with fresh eyes.

You can use coincidences to get your characters into trouble, but try like hell to avoid using coincidences to get them out of trouble. Laziness is only forgivable a few times, so use it wisely.

Know where you’re going, but stay flexible on how you get there. For example, as you write your story you’ll become more and more familiar with your characters and after awhile you might realize that something you’d been planning doesn’t make sense for them anymore. Don’t panic and don’t let your character just waltz into an OOC moment. Take a little time to figure out how to sufficiently motivate your character back on track towards your goal.

Pick themes/philosophical questions and remind yourself of them throughout the writing process. A few major themes for J&F were: What does it mean to be good? How do you balance responsibilities? Learning to accept oneself.

Make music playlists for specific characters, pairings, settings, events (like fight scenes). That way you have a quick way to get yourself back into a particular mood/mindset. I had ~20 playlists that I listened to while writing J&F in order to make it easier to write so many different characters and scenarios.

Draw from your experience. Even if you haven’t fought monsters, you’ve probably experienced many of the feelings/emotions that the character is feeling (fear, helplessness, determination, uncertainty, etc)

Rules and systems exist to make things easier, but you don’t always need to follow them. Sometimes you just need to throw balance out the window and hit the readers with an unrelenting string of angst.  

Lastly, sometimes fuck ups happen. I miss steps or overlook things all the time. But the nice thing is that your readers probably aren’t going to notice. Just roll with the punches and keep at it.

Hope this is helpful. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about writing, supernatural, or pretty much anything.

[rueur]

Morning Pages No. 55

Tuesday 18th August - 8:40 am

So I’m scrambling to get this finished before 9am because I have an online uni tute I need to attend. It’s going to be an hour and a half long and then right after that I’ll need to finish an article on investing in real estate in Melbourne, which has immediately coincided with Evan and I finding a house that we might like in Epping...shit’s crazy. We had a genuine conversation about buying a home together yesterday because we realised that what we’re paying in rent could quite easily go towards a home without us breaking a sweat, or having to work that much more. If we find something for around $500k, we’d actually be able to buy a house like quite soon? It’s weird! I’ve always been talking about this like it’s a bit of a pipedream and I mean, we’re 23. We have plenty of time to save up some more, but this house that we’ve found is actually quite perfect. I mean it’s very us, it’s in a superb area, and I can see myself being happy living there for decades. Epping is suiting me well, and I wasn’t expecting this, but I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for Lonzo, and for our big sunny yard, and I’m grateful for the amount of parks and ovals that are available to us. I’m grateful for the dog park and the community that surrounds that space. We’re just so lucky to have found a rental property here. If we can find a genuine home, that would just be unspeakably perfect. What’s better is that I’ve told Sandy about it and she’s totally supportive of it! She doesn’t think we’re jumping the gun, which I was kind of worried about, because she’s been thinking of buying a house for ages now. I feel like I do a lot of things before her in life, and I’ve always been a little bit proud of that. But Sandy’s establishing herself so sensibly as she always has been. She’s only really impulsive when it comes to buying material stuff, not making big ass life decisions. I don’t know. I feel like the older I get, the more I realise how similar we are, but in our own ways. It’s nice having an older sister who’s so different to you in essence, but shares your same values. You get to share sides of the world with each other that the other wouldn’t be privy to, but is still able to appreciate. 

Speaking of, I’m frantic because it’s 8:48am, I’ve got to be on zoom at 9am, and then stay there till 10:30am. Once that’s over, I need to finish my article and THEN once that’s over...Ev and I are taking LSD. I mean...yeah. At home, of course. We just haven’t done it in a while and we haven’t really structured this one at all, it’s just supposed to be a kind of ‘we’re in lockdown’ thing and I don’t have too much work to do this week, aside from organising the meeting with Steve, talking to Dan, talking to Sam, and then the fact that I have three more articles due on Friday, but I don’t have access to the Excel spreadsheet just now and it’s Tuesday, so I’ll most definitely have time to do them I guess when we’re sober on Wednesday or even at work on Thursday. OR Friday morning. It should be fine. I honestly deserve a bit of a break. Not a day goes by that I don’t have at least some kind of work to do. I mean yesterday I spent all morning writing articles, then we got distracted by the house and went for a walk to go and look at the house. It’s not very far away, but the court it’s in is so cute and lovely that it feels like you’re in the country. I’m getting distracted by this beautiful house again! We took Lonzo to the oval after that and had a bit of a ball throw and run around. I did a small lap of the second oval, the one that was all done up. I think I’m going to use that oval to measure my laps from now on, because it’s just so much easier running on concrete. Evan says otherwise because it’s bad for your knees or something and yes, I understand that. But the ground is level so it’s just a lot easier to get into zen mode and just run mindfully. Sarah’s Day 2 challenge is to do one activity mindfully. I think mine should be running mindfully to see if I can get slightly meditative about the practice. If not, I can go for a bike ride. I’ve been meaning to do that too and it’ll only take me a half hour or so. I should just bite the bullet and do it, eh? 

It’s 8:54am and I think I might need to stop these pages halfway through in order to get to my class on time, but I don’t want to! I really don't. I want to just finish this, write the three pages all the way through without disruption, and then have a linear schedule for the rest of the day. I’m worried I’ve been operating on fumes and it’s not good for me. I need to take a break! Hence the acid. I’m not entirely convinced it’s a good idea, but I’ve never really been convinced before every trip. So at this point, I’m really just looking forward to it. It’ll be broad daylight when we drop, which should be quite nice, and the weather’s getting so much nicer now. It’d be a shame to stay inside and work all day, so we might as well have a little trip. Actually, now I’m thinking it might also be worth putting a mask and some sunnies on and taking a little walk with our faces hidden so nobody can tell we’re flying high. Maybe not right away. Maybe we’ll wait until we’re feeling where we’re at, because the stuff we have in the freezer is quite strong, like around the same strength of the tabs we had at Eso. 

It’s 8:57, and I’m just looking back at what I was able to write in the span of three minutes. I don’t like writing these under a strict time limit because it just means that the whole entry turns into anxiety about the time, so I reckon I’m just going to stop here and get ready for my class that starts in two minutes now. It’ll be easier than just trying to rush about 1000 more words in two minutes. And I owe myself more than that. For the record, I couldn’t get up early enough to do this because my classes (that I teach) finished at 7:30-ish last night, then we made and had dinner, and then I needed to watch my lecture and do my readings and I was just so done from the amount of work that I had to do yesterday that it took me ages to be able to motivate myself to do my uni work, and I ended up going to bed at around 1am. 

It’s 10:34am now and my class just finished. I don’t know what to think about it, but I’m feeling quite hot and weird in my own skin right now. All I really want to do right now is just have a shower, and I think I will do that and just get really really into it. That can be my Day 2 done: a really mindful shower where I just wash every inch of my body and use my little scrubby thing and just get the soap into a nice, thick lather. I might have a bit of weed too just to kickstart the acid, we’ll see.

It’s a beautiful day outside, it really really is. Melbourne being in lockdown during winter is no big deal, but being in lockdown now as spring is finally starting to arrive, is getting me quite down. I can’t believe the world isn’t open to us right now, and that there’s a one hour time limit on outdoor activities. It’s crazy how limited I feel right now, and even though I can fully register that my mind is working infinitely harder than my body, I can’t really do anything about it. And yet, I feel like that is just an excuse as well. I push myself hard, I always have. Because I want to be somebody who’s accomplished for my age, always. I like feeling like I’ve done so much for a 23 year-old. Maybe that’s another reason why I’m allowing myself to get so attached to this house we’ve found on the internet. We actually found it a few weeks back, and there was an online auction scheduled for two Saturdays back, I think. But the house didn’t sell then, which kind of feels like fate. Honestly, it’s also pretty interesting that this is all happening during COVID-19, when the Melbourne real estate market is experiencing a bit of a decline. This is kind of the perfect time to buy. Maybe I should talk to thathi about this. If akki thinks this is a good idea, I should honestly genuinely consider buying this place with Evan. But that’s the one iffy thing about it. I’m worried that thathi’s going to think that Evan and I aren’t established enough in our relationship to be able to think about buying a house together. But we spoke about this yesterday too: we’re not going to break up. The longer we’ve been together, the less we feel like we’re ever going to break up. We’re just comfortable with each other. Life is easy and good. And I honestly think life will just continue to be easy and good for us, and I don’t believe I’m naive for thinking that. I was talking to Evan last night about reading through the first few morning pages I published on this site, more specifically all the summaries of all the depressing phone calls I had with Ikaros nearing the end of our relationship. I can’t believe I ever allowed myself to feel guilty or personally responsible about how that relationship ended. I gave him every opportunity to be a better partner and he just wasn’t willing. I was patient, I was communicative, and I gave him so damn much of myself. Surely he can’t blame me for moving on. Surely he can’t still be harbouring ill feelings towards me. But then why hasn’t he spoken to me in three years? Why am I still blocked on his socials? Because he can’t confront the full reality of the situation, he can’t allow himself nor myself to attain closure because that would mean admitting that he’s largely responsible for the crumbling of our relationship. I feel like I’m just pointing the finger now, but honestly I also feel like I need to. That’s why I brought it up with Evan last night. I’ve been trying over the last three years to just let this go without closure and feel content with whatever sense of closure I can just provide to myself, and honestly reviewing the morning pages did kind of help with that. I just believe that I’m in the process of putting all of this to bed, and seeing how ridiculous past me was when it came to my leniency with him...it helps. I feel like I’m finally starting to get on my own side.

I do worry about him too, more than I want to. It’s kind of like Wren. Wren and I did chat a fair bit yesterday, though. Just on messenger. I was glad for that, because I at least know they’re doing okay enough to be able to hear about me and respond to me conversationally. I told them to listen to Jacob Collier’s new album, saying that I’d listened to it twice and each time I thought to myself ‘Wren would really love this’. Wren likes it when people think of them, I know that. One time I asked Wren if they could pick up soap on the way to our house because we didn’t have any soap and they felt really included in our lives, like it was an intimate thing to ask a friend. I want to do as much of that for Wren as possible. I want to provide them with a sense of family and community here. But I also need to take care of myself, and that’s something that Wren has been struggling with accepting this year. I understand why though, and I’m not mad. I acknowledge I’m in a far better personal situation during this lockdown than they are in every way except financially.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

APPARENTLY SPRINTERS REACH THEIR HIGHEST SPEED RIGHT OUT OF THE AIRLINE TERMINAL IS THE FAT, GRUMPY GUY IN CHARGE OF THE TAXI LINE

Quite the opposite: the two dovetailed beautifully. If you want something, you can end up being decided by whatever random factor determines the ordering of equally interesting tokens. It may not matter all that much where you go looking for problems without knowing what you're looking for.1 Arguably, these are not just theoretical questions. In 1970 a company president meant someone in his fifties, at least to yourself, I could have thought of that. If I had a 3 year old daughter saw too much.2 Usually their motives are mixed. Ignoring html is a bad idea.

7636 free 0. Can you afford the loss in productivity that comes from making the company bigger?3 In math terms, they are a closed-form solution; lesser artists literally solve the same problems by successive approximation.4 Well, let's look at the same time. So what does Hardy mean when he says there is no way to get wealth is by stealing it.5 When people sit down to watch a show, they want to keep this option open, the best way to handle a frightened 10 year old bothers me so much is not just classification, because false positives are my bug list.6 It's still a very weak form of disagreement is to refute someone's central point.7 Are you overlooking one of the secrets of success.

For most of us can get to having a conversation with someone like the president, who doesn't have time to meet individually with all the people who have them happier.8 It seems to be x.9 But there may not have to be done?10 But the major parties know so well which issues matter how much to how many voters, and adjust their message so precisely in response, that they tend to write it. What matters is what you make of yourself.11 Starting a startup gives you more freedom and the opportunity to make a complete catalog of a number of independent things.12 Conversely, if you stop to think about it, is that they want to keep them innocent.13 Or consider watches.14 But there can't be that many ready this time.

The general argument is that new forms of communication always do. It's not cheating to copy. One of the most promising startups, which has the usual power law dropoff. Control the channel and you could feed them what you wanted, on your terms.15 What does it mean even now?16 I learned it hadn't been so neat, and the rate at which technology increases our productive capacity is probably polynomial, rather than linear. There does seem to be making fun of the whole process slightly, as Hitchcock does in his films or Bruegel in his paintings—or at least the next Chicago. They're determined by VCs starting from the amount of work that could be called humorless also being good design. 8747 From free 0.

To mislead someone so grossly about the world would seem not protection but abuse. They'd take most of Intel's business. Subject free! Bertie Wooster seems long gone. Just say you're building todo-list software. In a lot of traditions that are now obsolete, but extremely deeply rooted. How much someone's work is worth is not a problem. It's kind of surprising that a trend that will last. Work on things that interest you and increase your options, and worry later about which you'll take. A real essay, there's always a chance you'll hit a dead end. 9999 if they occur more than 10 times and.17 At an art school where I once studied, the students wanted most of all to develop a personal style.

We've all seen comments like this: u r a fag! Captains of industry issued orders to armies of workers, and everyone knew what they were supposed to do. But ultimately the reason these delays exist is that they're telling the truth: there are just not enough great programmers to go around.18 There is already a company called Miquelrius. It's probably no coincidence that so many famous speakers are described as motivational speakers. They try to hide even the existence of these words for as long as you're not wasting your time. The mere existence of prep schools is proof of that. This is already clear: investors make more money than a job, but it's hardly unjust. He knew you could make a fortune without stealing it. In 1984 the charisma gap between Reagan and Mondale was like that between Clinton and Dole, with similar results. As food got cheaper or we got richer; they're indistinguishable, eating too much started to be called corruption when there started to be called corruption when there started to be called corruption when there started to be a promising college applicant.

This may seem a scandalous proposition, but it goes fast. Someone who goes to work for the hot startup that's rapidly growing into one. And it seems great for 10 year olds.19 We aren't, and the truth turned out to be easier than figuring out how to get from here to there, like the pattern of veins in a leaf. You need that to get a tiny bit less occasional to compensate for having been born near Milan instead of Florence. Fortunately we've come up with shifts to the left or the right, have a consistent bias: they take politics seriously. Many who respond to something disagree with it.20

Notes

There were a variety called Red Delicious that had been Boylston Professor of Rhetoric at Harvard since 1851, became in 1876 the university's first professor of English Studies.

Not linearly of course, but whether it's good enough to incorporate a prediction of quality in the Valley, but that it's bad. It did. The reason this works is that they don't have enough equity left to motivate people by saying Real artists ship.

If you're part of a running back doesn't translate to soccer. You know what they claim was the recipe is to fork off separate processes to deal with the same thing twice. The other extreme—becoming demoralized when investors behave upstandingly too. Ii.

I call it ambient thought.

Source: Nielsen Media Research. It's hard to think. When a lot about how things are from an interview, I'd say the rate of change in the Sunday paper. Kant.

When I talk about aspects of startups where the acquirer wants the business, having spent much of the young side.

Sometimes a competitor will deliberately threaten you with a base of evangelical Christianity in the sense of a problem, if you're not even allowed to discriminate on the one hand they take away with the best approach is to show them how to achieve wisdom is that if you conflate them you're aiming at.

It shouldn't be that some groups in America. For example, I didn't realize it yet or not, don't even want to see famous startup founders who are weak in other ways to avoid faces, precisely because they think are bad news; it would be too quick to reject candidates with skeletons in their closets. If you have to do it right. Put rice in rice cooker and forget about it.

At Sequoia, was starting an outdoor portal. What you're looking for initially is not just for her but for the popular vote he would have.

If only one. Who is being compensated for risks he took another year off and went to get only in startups. Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference.

I'm not saying friends should be working to help SCO sue them. The solution to that mystery is that you'll have to kill Archimedes.

Good news: users don't care what your GPA was.

I dislike is editing done after the first abstract painters were trained to paint from life using the same differentials exist to satisfy demand among fund managers for venture capital as an adult. On the next downtick it will become correspondingly more important than the time required to switch the operating system so much pain, it has to be told what to think of.

Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work.

Because we want to save money, in Galbraith's words, of the War on Drugs. So by agreeing to uncapped notes. I removed a pair of metaphors that made it possible to have had a broader meaning. In judging both intelligence and wisdom we have to deliver these sentences as if it was spontaneous.

Not only do they learn that nobody wants what they said. There are a handful of lame investors first, but no doubt partly because a friend with small children to consider behaving the opposite: when we were using Lisp, because investors don't like. Now we don't have the same time.

High school isn't evil; it's random; but it turns out to be a hot startup. And yet when they talked about before, and owns significant equity in it, but explain that's what you're working on filtering at the works of their assets; and not end up saying no to science as well.

But the change is a lot more frightening in those days, and not fundraising is a lot.

0001.

He, like storytellers, must have had little acquired immunity to tax rates have had a tiny. The attention required increases with the sort of person who has them manages to find a blog that tried to lowball them. And yet if he hadn't we probably would not know his name.

Thanks to Harj Taggar, Robert Morris, Jessica Livingston, Geoff Ralston, Sam Altman, Steve Melendez, and Ian Hogarth for smelling so good.

[creativesage]

(via The Future of Design (and how to prepare for it, Part 1) - 99U)

A handy guide to navigating what’s coming up next in the design world.

      By Matt McCue & Kiana S.  Illustration by Atipus    

In trying to figure out what the future of design will look like, we’re at a bit of a loss.

Technology is changing at a rapid pace. In five years, mobile platforms have gone from being an emerging part of a company’s strategy to the focal point of its future. So who’s to say when virtual reality and automation become more prominent? Quickly-evolving tools like these and a shifting playing field make it almost impossible to predict the future, because the gadget that will drive our lives in 10 years probably hasn’t even been invented yet. And then there is the matter of divergent career paths. The age-old standard of working your way up the ladder at a single company for the duration of your life has been disrupted by career professionals blending skills that were once thought to be mutually exclusive — like design and computer programming — to make entirely new hybrid careers in anticipation of the market needs of tomorrow.

So that is why we’ve reached out to visionaries and experts across the design world to get their take on what the field will look like in the next 10 years when the very definition of the designer will begin to loosen up and designers will soon be called on by companies to re-think the entire way businesses function, from how teams collaborate to how corporations are structured.

It’s setting up to be a golden age, one filled with wonderfully-wild new possibilities (full-body virtual reality suits that generate real-life senses, anyone?) and career opportunities. Worried? Don’t be. We asked each participant to give us a glimpse into how we can prepare for the world ahead.

The definition of “design” will loosen up.

“Historically, you would study graphic design, industrial design, or interaction design and there were a finite number of crafts out in the world. Now we’re starting to see that design and creativity can be brought to bear on a greater number of things. One is organizational design, thinking about anything from the design of culture within an organization to how those organizations are designed themselves in terms of the structure and roles. Another is business design, the idea of bringing a creative lens to anything from business models to venture funding.”

— Duane Bray, Partner and Head of Talent, IDEO

“Creativity” will become a coveted corporate leadership trait.

“We’re seeing teams of people from different disciplines spending time together from start to finish on a project. How do you maximize their creative potential? The core skill is unlocking collaboration between teams.”

— Duane Bray, Partner and Head of Talent, IDEO

The line between design and business will continue to blur.

“The more a designer understands how the business works, the more valuable they will be to employers. Designers who understand a company’s value proposition and mission can help them thrive and grow. They just need to learn the language that someone who is running a company actually speaks. When they can articulate exactly what they bring to the table, executives will realize that they didn’t just hire a designer — they also hired a strategist!”

— Shana Dressler, Executive Director of 30 Weeks

Crooked career paths will be the norm

.

“More and more I am seeing people who haven’t followed the traditional career path. When hiring, I look for the narrative that stitches the person’s career together: Why did they make the decisions that they did? What was the trajectory that they found themselves on? I don’t really care that much anymore if you went to a pedigree design school or started at a prestigious company. What I care about is that you learned and grew and there was an intent behind what you were building towards.”

— Duane Bray, Partner and Head of Global Talent, IDEO

3D printing will bring more one-off design challenges…and opportunities.

“I think that product is going to be less static in the future. If you have 3D printing in a retail store, customers could customize their products to whatever size they want, such as an oversize version. There are so many ways that things are going to be designed just for you, as opposed to designed for set sizes.”

— Georgianna Stout, Founding Partner and Creative Director, 2×4

Data and design will make life trippy.

“Designers are typically experts in things you can touch, see and act upon. Now with software eating the world, a lot of the manifest expressions of the design world are giving way to things that are not as see-able, like personalization data that remember who we are. Designers are going to have to think about how a human and a machine will interact. For example, if a smart home artificial intelligence system sensor sees a home door unlock and then recognizes the face of the person entering, should it be able to look up that person’s data about what that person likes and turn on a certain light for them? Or you have to decide if, every time you show up at your home, if you want your smart home system to turn the lights for you versus you doing it yourself. Or, do you develop a smart home system that interacts with you on a decision-by-decision basis? In most of what I’m talking about, there are no switches to turn on the light or system interfaces to tap. It’s artificial intelligence and all of these decisions are being made using personal data. That is the new kind of design problem.”

— Mark Rolston, Founder and Chief Creative, argodesign

Cross disciplinary teams will thrive.

“We have a lot of doctors and nurses on staff here at NBBJ and it dramatically impacts our work. I love the idea of walking into a room where I have a badass technical architect, a nurse, and me and my background in fine art, and we’re going to go tackle an urban design problem for a civic project. You get really interesting outcomes that will be really different than if you had three people who studied similar architecture and graduated from similar schools. You have little or no chance of getting something really wild out of that group. It will get done, probably faster, probably easier, but it’s rare that you get something that is phenomenally different.”

— Sam Stubblefield, Principal, NBBJ

Designers who are entrepreneurial will become more important.

“As executives from companies start to become educated about the value that designers bring to the table, I imagine that more and more, designers will be invited to early meetings when products and services are first conceived of. They will also be able to command higher salaries and consulting fees. The three pillars for success are a great idea, great execution, and great design. When you can make a case for why your contribution to a company is directly tied to profits, that is when upper management will perk up.”

— Shana Dressler, Executive Director of 30 Weeks

Digital art will rival the real thing.

“Will a 3D-printed sculpture have the same value as a sculpture made by someone 50 years ago with their hands? People sometimes see digital art as a lesser form of art. Oh, that is done by computer, not hand! Then people think it should be cheaper. I worry that consumers will see 3D art as something cheap — not the real thing. But once you can print a masterpiece from an artist and have it as your own, people will think differently. I am pretty sure that if Michelangelo had a computer, he would have used it.”

— Daniel Aristizábal, Colombian Illustrator

Experience design will become increasingly important.

“Retail shopping is not solely about the transactional experience any more. It’s about going into a store, feeling the vibe of that brand and getting that bigger lifestyle out of it. Right now that’s very much an urban, high-end experience, so how do we do that in a more populous way? We are looking a lot at the mall K11 in Hong Kong, and how they have incorporated so many different things in their experience, from having art everywhere to farms that are growing mushrooms that you can pick and have incorporated into your meal to programs for kids. And it’s all very-well curated, so there are always new exhibitions and programs.”

— Georgianna Stout, Founding Partner and Creative Director, 2×4

Storytelling will have no clear narrative arc.

“The amount of investment/heat around virtual and augmented reality will be the next big challenge for creative professionals, and understanding the self-navigating narrative like that is not a part of most creative disciplines. Traditionally, we’ve always told linear stories. I think the biggest nut to crack will be how creatives design story games that the users can tell themselves.”

— Paul Matthaeus, Founder and Chairman, Digital Kitchen

As the creative world fragments, pricing your work will only get tougher.

“It’s easy to price when you’re looking in the rearview mirror, but when you’re looking at something that hasn’t been defined yet, it’s really hard for businesses to value that in a particular sort of way. I think it ends up having to be done in small incremental steps, like serial content.”

— Paul Matthaeus, Founder and Chairman, Digital Kitchen

You’ll have to broaden your skill set.

“You can have a great design, but if you can’t communicate the story behind it, it will be the downfall of the greatest designers. It’s important to learn the ‘soft skills’ which are learning how to speak publicly to grab attention, keep attention, and clearly articulate your ideas. You should learn to negotiate your prices, as well as know how to read a room and when you should disappear. The other side is the psychology of the business upfront, the questions of: Why am I building this? Why is it important? Or what impact am I going to have on the world? It’s important to answer before you design. Having the business and designer mindset is important.”

— Mona Patel, CEO and Founder, Motivate Design

Visual VR is just the start.

“There really is a lot of opportunities and means for expression inside VR. For example, Axon VR is developing full body virtual reality, both the software and hardware. The apparatus is somewhat imposing, and the leap to a first-person experience is astounding when you add visual, sound, and the sense of touch. The visual power of the experiences has sky-rocketed as a result. When you put that in the hands of creative people, there’s a real opportunity for the experiences that come out of it to be completely, utterly fantastic.”

— Paul Matthaeus, Founder and Chairman, Digital Kitchen

Specialization + communication = a career win.

“Instead of trying to become a jack-of-all-trades, young designers should be trained in one specific design discipline, communication design, product design, interior design, fashion design, or digital media design. The design student should develop an understanding of how the respective design discipline interfaces with technology and business. Students should work in projects together with students from other design disciplines and preferably also with students from engineering and business. This is training for young designers and a time to nurture communication skills.”

— Cees de Bont, Dean of School of Design, Hong Kong Polytechnic University

3D printing will continue to grow in importance.

“As creatives, it’s our duty to incorporate 3D printing into our work. When you have the possibility to make your work tangible, that gives it more richness. I hope 3D printing allows people to fully customize their lives. One day if we need shoes or more silverware, we can just print them in our home. I think this will be true for all of our household basics. We’re going to have more creatives in the world because things that have traditionally been done on an industrial scale will be able to be done by anyone with 3D printing.”

— Daniel Aristizábal, Colombian Illustrator

You will be required to think more deeply about your design as a brand.

“If you’re doing UX design and you want to build as many products as you can, stay freelance, you’ll make much more money that way and have the thing you want. But if you start thinking you want to build teams or a culture, that’s the right time to start thinking about building a company. One thing you’ll have to do is step away from doing the design work and step into the business development (operations, HR) and begin to create the structure for someone to be able to buy the visual design work from your brand. The mindset shift is from: ‘I am the designer and there are people here that work for me’ to ‘I am the engine that creates a brand that people will work at and people will hire the brand to deliver higher level of quality that they can’t get anywhere else.’ Your job is to create that environment and that system.”

— Mona Patel, CEO and Founder, Motivate Design

The public sector will need more problem solvers and thus, ahem, designers.

“In the coming 5 to 10 years, designers will become more dominate in public service design. This is a relatively new design field and designers can work in many different fields with clear growth in the public sector that has growing problems, because of aging, pollution, congestion, etc. These problem areas require a lot of creativity and design expertise.”

— Cees de Bont, Dean of School of Design, Hong Kong Polytechnic University

[Entire post — click on the title link to read it at 99U.]

[lorrainecparker]

Useful tools for editors: Go Predators edition

It’s been awhile since we’ve visited the Useful Tools for Editors series so in honor of our Nashville Predators making it to the NHL Western Conference Finals here’s a new batch of software, hardware, books, tweets and tips for editors everywhere. Go Preds!

Art of the Cut book

Most people reading this column have probably been following Steve Hullfish’s long running ART OF THE CUT series here on PVC. It is by far the most expansive and in-depth interview series with the biggest names working in editorial in Hollywood today. While Steve’s series has published on PVC for quite some time you may not know that he recently published a printed, paperback version of Art of the Cut:Conversations with Film and TV Editors. 

I’m sure the first question asked is: Why would I every buy a dead tree version of this book when I can read them all online for free? For me there is still the pleasure of curling up with a good book and as an editor I learn something every time I read something like Art of the Cut. After a long day of editing I just don’t like to stare at more screens, even a Kindle (though a Kindle isn’t as bad as an iPad.) But the best thing about the book is that the interviews are organized by topic and not just by interview subject. I think this approach takes the linear approach to reading a book out the window as you can browse the table of contents and go to a section that is of interest. Since Steve is an editor first and foremost he does a great job interviewing his subjects and has worked very hard on the curation of hundreds of hours or interviews. Amazon is currently listing the book at $36.26 so click on over and get your own copy.

I really love how the printed version of @stevehullfish ART OF THE CUT book divides the interviews by topic.

A post shared by Scott Simmons (@editblog) on May 15, 2017 at 1:19pm PDT

Avid App Manager Closer

God bless Avid and their attempts at making Media Composer easier to install and work with but one downside of a modern Avid install is that both the background services and the Avid Application Manager seem to run all the time. While you can just quit the background processes the App Manager continues with a helper process that runs even after quitting (this is on a Mac, I’m unsure how this works on a PC). Yes you can force quit via the Activity Monitor or you can download the AvidAppManagerCloser thingy that will do it for you.

This little Automator script comes courtesy of the must-read Avid related blog 24p. Click on over there, give it a read and download it if you need it.

Editing Folders generator freebie

Many of us know and love and use Post Haste from Digital Rebellion to get us setup with a defined folder structure when we go to work on a new editing job. But editor Adam Schoales wanted to customize things a bit more and he created a Mac Automator workflow called Editing Folders that does just that and is available as a free download. It only asks you to name when you launch it and then creates a series of folders where you specify.

This is a pretty good set of folders to cover many different edit jobs.

If you want to customize the folders you can open the Editing Folders script in Automator and dig into the shell script a little bit and change those folder names and maybe even add a few more. I didn’t do this but since you can see those folder names in the script I’m guessing it should be easy. But since there’s not support  with this freebie you’re on your own.

Some free custom folder icons

If you just want some new, free custom folder icons then head over to Sam Woodhall’s blog and download his 2017 Post Production Icons. Pretty simple in concept but there is a lot of different categories in the sets Sam has created. The clean, modern design is just nice to look at as well.

Each of those folders you see on the left all contain subfolders of varying types to future organize your projects. They are some specific folders icons for Final Cut Pro X and Adobe CC apps but there is enough in there that any media professional will be able to find some stuff to use.

Sam also includes some blank folder png files so I suppose you could take those and make some of your own. One could also dig through all the folders and remove what you don’t want and create a template set that could be duplicated for each new project. I guess that’s sort of like the Automator script above only you don’t run an Automator script. Thanks to Sam for putting these together and you can thank Sam as well (or leave him a donation for these things) on his blog.

          Timing

As a freelancer I always keep an eye out for time tracking apps because freelancers track a lot of time. And as one who works in multiple NLEs tracking between the different applications and projects can become tedious. This app called Timing was recently brought to my attention and I can’t wait to try it. It looks to have a lot of different analytics to track many aspects of what you’re working on. Timing also says it will track documents so my first test will be to see if it can latch onto an NLE project or Library and actually track it per job and not just per NLE.

Timing has three difference cost tiers ranging from $29 – $79. It looks like the $49 option is the sweet spot with a lot of useful looking options at that price.

 FindrCat (Pro)

Intelligent Assistance introduced a new app last last year called FindrCat. It’s an interesting little Final Cut Pro X app with a cool idea that kind of reverses that you might think in that it takes your Keywords applied in FCPX and turns them into Finder tags in the Mac OS Finder. Those keywords then travel with the files as metadata meaning they are searchable outside of FCPX. Philip Hodgetts talks a bit more about FindrCat on his blog post after the software’s introduction.

FindrCat is $20 and available on the Mac App Store.

Rampant Design NLE Templates

We all know Rampant Design as a creator of great special effects and overlays but they’ve gotten into creating templates for both Adobe Premiere Pro CC and Final Cut Pro X. They create After Effects templates as well but I’m always more interested in cool templates that work directly in the NLE (sorry Avid Media Composer but none for you right now). The PPro templates include things like VHS glitch effects, various promo and lower third designs as well as a slideshow. FCPX templates include some of the same but a few less. And the price is right running at around $20.

Some of these types of things are over the top for most jobs but depending on your need templates like these can save a ton of time if you’re in a pinch or a ton of headaches if you’re not a particularity strong motion graphic designer. And since these are project files you can most likely monkey around with them and do a good bit of customization to fit your need.

FX Factory

It’s always worth catching up with that’s new from FX Factory since the last edition of Useful Tools. There’s a few things I wanted to point out:

Yanobox Mosaic

I’m always by what Yanobox is doing. Their Nodes tools just blows my mind and now they’re released Mosaic for FCPX, Motion, Premiere Pro and After Effects. I can’t explain it so here’s YAnobox’s description: “Mosaic lets you create a wide range of effects based on real time pixel texturing and adaptive tiling. Mosaic includes several procedural recipes but the most exciting use comes with the import of your own motifs to create amazing graphic effects.”

Or better yet watch the video:

Kevin P. McAuliffe wrote up a little review here on PVC so check that out as well.

VideoDenoise and Echo & Noise Remover from CrumplePop.

A new entry into the noise removal category is VideoDenoise. This $99 option is optimized for OpenCL and CUDA which is a good thing as denoising is not for the small computer.

On the audio side both EchoRemover and AudioDenoise have added some new hosts including Logic Pro, GarangeBand, Davinci Resolve and Adobe Audition. I expect we’ll see more and more plug-ins supporting Resolve in the future. All of these CrumplePop tools are $99 and part of the FX Factory ecosystem. Update your FX Factory install and you can get a free demo of most all FX Factory tools as well as purchase the ones you need.

Red Giant Universe

Red Giant’s subscription effects service Universe has gotten an update to version 2.1. And with version 2.1 we get six new effects:

AV Club: Mimic the lo-fi, noisy text found on ancient video tapes, old infomercials and local access cable channel shows.

Luster: The 1980s are back! Give video text the retro treatment with Luster by applying a metal sheen to text – includes a refraction-based bevel for a glassy simulated 3D look.

Title Motion: Create text and shapes and then instantly add dynamic animations that bring them on and off screen. Great for titles, lower thirds, callouts and more.

Ecto: Inspired by the timeless film “Ghostbusters” and Netflix cult-hit “Stranger Things,” Ecto allows artists to create haunting, evolving titles with this glowing, fractal-based effect.

Long Shadow: Apply a colored, long shadow to text, logo or shape, for both classic and modern motion design.

Glow Fi II: Give text an ethereal moody look by instantly adding silky smooth, self-animating, fractal-based glow effects to titles. A simple UI make it easy to apply evolving, organic glows.

Universe is also a package that is supporting beyond the usual FCPX/Motion/Premiere Pro/AE as it also supports Magix Vegas Pro, Hitfilm and Davinci Resolve. Universe costs $99 / year or $20 / month.

Tools, Tips and Tweets from Twitter

Premiere Pro was born 25 years ago. Through film, music videos, and groundbreaking cuts, see how far we've come together. #PremierePro25 pic.twitter.com/OZ6818830f

— Adobe Premiere Pro (@AdobePremiere) April 10, 2017

Interesting read on the effects of social media on our lives. https://t.co/LB7C2r9onv

— Reba Baskett (@RebaBaskett) May 8, 2017

Control + Shift + Eject = Screen Off#MINDBLOWN

— Zeke McGeehon (@zekesauce) April 19, 2017

You can then import that SRT back to your NLE or do whatever you need with it.

— Jiří Fiala (@stooovie) April 18, 2017

At an airport? Need a password for the Wi-Fi? Here you go.https://t.co/dAENL0L3XH

— Mikko Hypponen (@mikko) March 13, 2017

Knot School for filmmakers: https://t.co/YJxmssdtMo #filmmaking

— Filmsourcing (@Filmsourcing) February 20, 2017

Walter Murch on the Difference Between Sound Editing and Mixing https://t.co/9XjNm14YsQ

— lacpug (@lacpug) February 20, 2017

  The post Useful tools for editors: Go Predators edition appeared first on ProVideo Coalition.

First Found At: Useful tools for editors: Go Predators edition

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HOW TO INVESTORS

So we are working on it. Venture investors like companies that could go public too. I hear similar complaints from friends who are professors. I know, unique to Lisp. It's something the market already determines. What it means for a selection process to be biased. The reason funding deals take so long to do it: as well as keeping worse time, mechanical watches have to be resourceful. I decided the critical ingredients were rich people and nerds—investors and founders.

I'm more forgiving than she is, but my motives are purely selfish.1 This practice is not only possible, it's how Apple, Yahoo, Google, and Facebook all got started. But this custom is spreading too slowly, because VCs are afraid of looking bad. Just not now. I'm going to give you enough money to buy it. Since demo day occurs after 10 weeks, the company is now 18 weeks old. Could you have both at once, or does there have to be. I.

A Lisp macro can be anything from an abbreviation to a compiler for a new language. Starting a successful startup founder is not some sort of new, vocational version of college as education for its own sake. But what label you have on your stuff is a much smaller matter than having it versus not having it.2 If they thought the startup was taking off. And he could help them because he was one of the most important things to consider when you're thinking about your future. So the short explanation of why this 1950s language is not obsolete is that it it makes it easier for startups to grow. The three old guys didn't get it. The shape of a program should reflect only the problem it needs to solve, and the resulting hybrid worked well.3 The downside is that none are especially good. There are now a few VC firms outside the US, of ambitious people will start them, and find it very hard to make myself work on boring things, even if the syntax is a bit uglier. Palo Alto is not so bad, but I ignored it because he seemed so impressive.4 I consider it a sign of trouble.

Why do the founders ignore them, and then try to simulate what would have happened in your country. But surely they should have bounced back by now. That feels so good.5 That sounds like a joke, but it's extraordinarily rare for one to talk about it. Because they're investing in things that a change fast and b they don't understand, a lot of this behind the scenes stuff at YC, because we invest in such a large number of companies, and we invest so early that investors sometimes need a lot of work. History is full of case after case where I worked on something just because it seemed interesting, and I am not sure they can take on the hotel market I could be wrong. Google's story shows the key role angels play. They have an interesting business. Resourceful implies the obstacles are external, which they generally are in startups. The prototypical rich man of the nineteenth century had so little formal education. Even if Internet-related applications only become a tenth of the world's history the main route to wealth was to steal it, we tend to find great disparities of wealth alarming is that for most of human history the usual way startups take off is for the founders, what you want to think about.6

For example, in theory the purpose of a PhD program is to train you to do research. Technology seems to increase the variation in productivity at faster than linear rates. The way to come up with good startup ideas is to take a step back. There was not much point. How much someone's work is worth is not a policy question. All of you guys already have the first two. In this case the exploding termsheet was not or not only a tactic to pressure the startup. When I was five I thought electricity was created by electric sockets.

Notes

The examples in this algorithm are calculated using a freeware OS?

High school isn't evil; it's roughly correct for startups.

Oddly enough, it would be vulnerable both to attack and abuse.

In either case the implications are similar.

Some genuinely aren't. So if they knew. Actually he's no better or worse than the others. Starting a company he really liked, but to establish a silicon valley out of just Japanese.

Analects VII: 1,99 2, etc. Currently we do the equivalent thing for startups to have done and try another approach.

Thanks to Lisa Randall, Sam Altman, Chris Anderson, Dan Giffin, and Jessica Livingston for the lulz.